#(( and where any of this is even remotely possible

[illicitland]

thought of us

Alex Tran x Fem!Reader

Summary: Hidden feelings of two people about the oblivious other.

Request: HIII!! it’s totally fine if this isn’t possible but can i request an alex tran x reader oneshot where alex and reader are close friends and have been crushing on eachother for awhile and everyone in the office knows except them? i love alex sm and there not enough about him! thank you!! have a good day !!! <3 - Anon

Author's Note: To Anon, I'm sorry this took so long to write. Thank you for requesting this, Alex is just so majestic and every time he appears on camera I lose control of myself. Please send in more requests and ideas of what you want to see next!

Being on Smosh is one of the best things that ever happened to you. It was stable enough for you financially, and at the same time you got to pursue two of your dream jobs at a time, being a cast members and producer.

Hence, befriending Alex, who shares a similar enough job, came easy. Because other than your occupation, the two of you don't share other similarities. Like the dusk and the dawn. Making your duo unexpected to most people.

Befriending Alex is something that just happened. Instant connection and undeniable chemistry. The two of you can talk for hours nonstop without dead air.

Unbeknownst to you, your dear friend has been having a secret infatuation towards you. Everyone, from crew and cast to your actual viewers, sees it. Everyone but you.

During the Smosh Games meetings Alex would take his time explaining every single function and rule of the game. Everyone in the room would notice his lingering glances at you. How he'd blush as you listen to him intently. How he would perk up every time you had a question, like all he wanted to do was inform you.

His attentiveness to what you do even transcends to the videos. He would correct a misunderstood rule to your benefit. He would also defend you to the rest of the players. Hell, he wouldn't do that for Spencer.

The two of you would brush off the teasing and the game's producer's blatant favoritism.

For one episode of Duo You Know Your Duo, Crew vs. Cast, where you and Tommy went against Alex and Spencer. The scores are close. For one question you and Spencer were asked, “What are the names of your partner's siblings?”.

You were the one to go first, you stated that Tommy does not have any siblings, which you got wrong.

As for Spencer, he turned his paddle that has a name you are unaware of. “I know he has a sister, but I'm not sure if I got the name right.”

Alex replied with a laugh due to the name being not even remotely close.

“Coach, I actually knew that. Do I get an extra point?” You said turning your head towards Arasha.

“Mind your own partner,” was all she replied with.

“Alex, now you know who your real best friend is.” You writhe your brows at him playfully.

Spencer added "You don't know your own partners siblings." The two of you erupted into a chaotic argument of who knows Alex more.

Alex burst into a captivating giggle. It was one of those effortless quirks of his that never failed to make your heart flutter. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners—his pupils vanishing, his shoulders slightly shaking with the weight of his amusement—it was disarmingly genuine.

Just as you caught yourself fawning over him, you straightened yourself. You continued with the video-exchanging knowing glances and nods of curtseys. Right after filming the video the two of you were asked to stay behind for thumbnail.

You questioned why you two when you both are partnered with different people. The producers brushed it off by saying 'capturing both teams'.

The idea that there is mischievous intent, but you didn't press further.

‎Neither of you are oblivious to your ship. You've seen the edits and clip compilations of your interactions people made even through clip where he can't even be seen in the camera. You thought nothing of it. People would ship people to anyone even with the littlest interaction.

"They did it for the shippers." Alex leaned down to your level as he whispered.

You replied with a chuckle, "Can't wait for my velocity edits. I look especially good today, I believe.” You did not want to add to his comment about the people wanting the two of you together. Talking about topics that include feelings are something you avoid with everyone.

You are aware that your admiration towards Alex is close to surpassing the heights of being platonic. Maybe it already has.

You don't dare figure it out. Hell, you avoid even thinking about it. Your mind is already convinced that the worst case possible would happen.

He would find out about your silly little feelings, you will get rejected, he will tell you that the two of you can remain friends which is a lie—no one ever remains friends after being friend zoned. The two of you would just be stuck in an awkward situation. Your inability of expressing what you feel is keeping you from acting. In fear that what you might say will drive him away.

In addition, you don't handle rejection easily. Your immaturity forbids you to handle it like an adult. This would send your mental state into a downward spiral.

You don't even dare consider that he too might feel the same, but you would rather not find out at all. Genuinely, you treasure your friendship with Alex, something not worth loosing over unrequited feelings.

In short, you would rather not know.

Unbeknownst to you that's how he feels too. The difference is that he is more optimistic to what the two of you could be.

Alex is a man of few words. He's the type of guy who doesn't ask. He just listens, remember, and act. And when he jokes it is always a hit for you. He caught himself trying to craft more jokes as a desperate attempt of hearing you laugh. But most of the time he just tries to be there

The first time he saw you set the vegetable aside he asked for the reason. You told him that it's because you are simply not a fan of the taste. "I know it's childish to not eat the pepper I just can't get myself to eat it."

"You can give them to me." He said leaning his plate towards you. he also stated his love for the vegetable. "I love them."

"That's concerning. Are you serious?" Was what you said as you transferred them to his plate.

"I really do. Feel free to give them to me anytime."

During film week-cast get to line up for catering first. Alex usually comes few minutes late to lunch as often times he'd get too occupied by his work.

No matter how late he is everyone knew that the seat next to you is reserved for him. He'd sit next to you. Before eating he'd check your plate for capsicum and takes it himself without interrupting your conversation with Tommy who sat infront of you.

When they first saw the two of you act that way you were met with teasing. But as time passed by, along with your consistent insistence of being just friends, it died down. They learned to live with the fact that the two of you will remain being just friends with heaps of romantic tendencies.

The two of you would have been contented with the state of your relationship. Satisfied? No.

But contented, nonetheless.

No secret ever remains a secret. Even the greatest athletes slip from time to time.

When Alex was discussing with Shayne, Spencer, and Damien—his Games Pod Bros, about video ideas. They planned about making another Love Is Blind episode. Then talked about who they should cast.

Damien suggested putting you, "She's so charismatic. She'll do great with anyone."

Alex reacted what he thought he did internally. However, the intensity of his furrowed brows. His reaction caught the attention the of people in the meeting.

"I don't mean it that way, man." Damien explained that you are charismatic and currently is into reality dating shows.

The explanation caught Alex off-guard. Has he been too obvious? Did he react out of line? It was as though he just got caught doing war crimes.

He questioned why Damien felt the need to clarify what he meant. To which he replied with “You reacted with what I said, plus I've been seeing the two of you be close— Listen man, you know I have a hard time reading the room.”

This broke Alex. The meeting turned to him admitting his not so secret admiration to his friends. They encouraged him to finally tell you alongside an assurance that they believe that you too feel for him.

It didn't take him much convincing. He knows what he feels and he'll act on them.

Courage took over him. Whatever happens, it is what it is. All or nothing.

In terms of gambling, he's all in.

He saw you in one of the halls of the Smosh office. You turned slowly as he called for your name—like a scene from a movie. As he made his way towards you he wished his footsteps would go faster.

He fought the urge of just coming undone right there and then. But the remaining sanity of his body allowed him to escort you to a private enough area.

You were tripping balls, for the lack of better words. You have no idea on what's going on and what's about to happen.

This wasn't like Alex at all. He has never pulled you away to another room. Wherever you are are a good enough place to talk. He never felt the need to be secretive with the interaction between the two of you.

“Are you ok? This is so not like you.” Concern thick on your tone..

“Of course. This is not like me because you know how I am. You know me better than anyone in my life.” Alex said as he captured your eye. “I like you. I like you more than a best friend should. I could never hide anything from you. I have been living in the hope that you felt it too. I know that saying this will change us.”

The words got caught at the back of your throat. Your wildest dream unfolds right in front of you.

Words could not describe what you are feeling. Instead of saying anything you let your actions talk.

You leaned in. Your lips reached his and it felt like everything. It felt special, right, and freeing at the same time.

He reciprocated the affection you have given him. His hand caressed the lover side of your face. His hand was so gentle yet eager to never let you go.

As the two of you parted he asked, “Be my girlfriend?”

You darted him with your warmest smile. “I thought you'd never ask.”

The exclusivity of the two of you was surreal. If this was indeed a dream you wish to never wake up. Stay stuck there forever.

It was all you could ever wish for and more. It was like a bottle of finely aged wine, popped at the right time.

Your love is quiet, but it is all you could ever ask of.

[sun-lit-goth]

Had the perfect chance to talk to him, he mumbled something under his breath and I said “what?” And then he said it again louder but I still couldn’t hear him so I was like…..must not be talking to me anyways….idk….

[sanchoyo]

after the vehicle hunt has been a big flop (the few vehicles I was interested in drove terribly on the test drives :( and car salesmen waaaay highballing cars worths which is. A crazy thing to do when I can literally look up the average worth of a car in 2 seconds??) after going to so so many websites and irl dealers. i found a van I really really love the look of and it’s only like an hour away!! (vintage van-rv combo!! Small enough to not be insane on gas while combining my many years long obsession with having a small rv-like thing AND my nostalgia for my now gone first van…)

And the thing is actually low priced for its type… but insanely out of my budget still 10,000 more than what I have. It’s insane how much vehicles cost. This thing is like 10 years older than I am and it still costs that much?? Wanting a thing really bad will have u googling shit like what body parts can I sell legally 💀

[liwinly]

BABY , iM YOURS !

───── Soft whispers, playful touches, and endless love .

MORE ( 900 ) . Enhypen x fem!reader : fluff , romance . ✶ skinship , teasing

𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆

You’re curled up on the couch when Heeseung pulls you into his arms, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. His warmth seeps into you instantly, and you giggle as he nuzzles closer, his breath tickling your skin.

“Hee, what are you doing?” you ask, your fingers threading through his soft hair.

“Holding my baby,” he mumbles, voice laced with sleep. “You’re mine, right?”

You feel your heart melt at his words. Heeseung always gets clingy when he’s sleepy, and you love it. You shift to face him, cupping his cheek. “Of course, I’m yours.”

A sleepy smile tugs at his lips before he presses soft kisses along your jaw, your cheek, and finally, your lips. His arms tighten around you, as if afraid you’ll slip away.

“You smell so nice,” he murmurs, inhaling deeply. “Stay like this forever?”

You laugh, pressing a lingering kiss to his forehead. “Forever and always, Hee.”

He hums contentedly, pulling you even closer — if that’s even possible. And just like that, wrapped in his warmth, you know you’re exactly where you belong.

𝐉𝐀𝐘

Jay leans against the kitchen counter, eyes locked on you as you try to reach the top shelf for a jar of peanut butter. You’re on your tiptoes, struggling, and he can’t help but chuckle.

“Need some help?”

You turn around, pouting. “I can do it myself!”

“Mm-hmm, sure you can,” Jay teases, crossing the room in a few quick strides. He effortlessly grabs the jar from the shelf and hands it to you. His fingers brush against yours, sending a little jolt through you.

“Thanks,” you mutter, feeling a blush creep up your neck.

Jay grins and steps closer, his chest brushing against yours. He places his hand on the small of your back, pulling you into him with ease. “You know, you’re cute when you get all stubborn,” he whispers, his breath warm against your skin.

Your heart races at the closeness. “Stop teasing me, Jay.”

He leans in, his lips pressing against your forehead in a soft kiss. “I’m not teasing. I’m just reminding you that you’re mine, baby.”

You smile, melting into his touch. “I’m yours, Jay.”

𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄

Jake’s laughter fills the room as you both tumble onto the couch, playfully fighting for the TV remote. You manage to snatch it from his hands, but before you can press a button, he pulls you back into his chest with a strong arm, trapping you.

“Gotcha,” he says, his voice low and playful.

You giggle, squirming in his embrace, but it’s no use. He holds you tightly, one hand resting on your waist. “You’re mine now,” he murmurs, his chin resting on your shoulder.

You glance up at him, a teasing smile tugging at your lips. “Am I?”

Jake’s eyes soften, and he kisses the side of your head, his lips lingering. “Absolutely. No escaping me, baby.”

You roll your eyes, but warmth spreads through your chest at his affection. “Guess I’m stuck with you then, huh?”

He chuckles and pulls you even closer, pressing his cheek against yours. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

His fingers trace circles on your back as you settle into the comfort of his arms, the world outside fading away. You smile, knowing there’s nowhere you’d rather be.

“Yeah, I’m yours, Jake.”

𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

Sunghoon is sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone, but when he feels you settle next to him, he immediately wraps an arm around your shoulders. You lean into him, letting your head rest on his chest.

"You always know how to make me feel safe," you mumble, closing your eyes.

Sunghoon smiles softly, his fingers gently playing with your hair. "That’s because you’re mine," he says, his voice barely above a whisper, but it carries so much warmth.

You chuckle, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. "I’m yours, huh?"

He nods, his lips curving into a small, affectionate smile. "Always have been, always will be."

His hand moves to cup your cheek, pulling you in for a tender kiss. It's slow, soft, filled with all the love he has for you. When he pulls away, his forehead rests against yours.

"Baby, I’m yours too," he whispers, his eyes never leaving yours.

You smile, feeling your heart flutter. There’s nowhere else you’d rather be than in his arms.

𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐎𝐎

You’re sitting on the balcony, enjoying the quiet evening, when Sunoo quietly slips behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. His chin rests on your shoulder as he leans into you, his warmth enveloping you.

“Hey, what’s up?” you ask, turning your head to glance at him.

Sunoo smiles softly, his eyes full of affection. “I just wanted to be close to you. You’re mine, aren’t you?”

You feel your heart flutter at his words. “Of course, I’m yours,” you reply with a teasing grin, but your voice softens when he presses a kiss to your neck, his lips lingering there.

“I’m glad,” he murmurs, his hands gently caressing your arms. “I don’t ever want to let you go.”

You turn in his arms, facing him now, your fingers tracing the outline of his jaw. “You don’t have to.”

His smile widens, and he cups your face, bringing you in for a gentle, lingering kiss. “Good, because I’m not planning on it.”

In that moment, everything feels perfect, with Sunoo’s arms around you and the soft sound of your beating hearts. “I’m yours, always.”

𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍

You’re sprawled out on the floor, books and papers scattered around you as you try to focus on studying, but Jungwon is having none of it. He plops down next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder, his hand finding yours.

“You’ve been working too hard,” he says softly, his voice laced with concern. “Take a break, baby.”

You roll your eyes, trying to focus. “I need to finish this.”

But Jungwon isn't having it. He gently pulls the papers from your hands, tossing them aside, and turns you to face him. His eyes are filled with warmth. “You’re mine, and I’ll make sure you take care of yourself.”

You laugh, your heart fluttering at his caring tone. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

He grins, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “I know. But I’m your impossible, and you love it.”

His hand cups your cheek, and without thinking, you lean into his touch, closing your eyes. "You're right, I do love it."

Jungwon leans in and kisses your forehead gently. "And I love you, always."

You smile, feeling completely at peace in his arms. “I’m yours, Jungwon.”

𝐍𝐈-𝐊𝐈

You’re sitting on the couch, flipping through channels, when Ni-ki suddenly pops up beside you, his playful grin lighting up the room. Without warning, he snatches the remote out of your hands, laughing as you try to grab it back.

“You’re such a troublemaker,” you laugh, narrowing your eyes at him.

Ni-ki just shrugs, his mischievous grin widening. “I’m only a troublemaker because you let me be,” he teases, dropping the remote onto the couch and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You feel your heart race as he pulls you closer, his chin resting on your shoulder. “What are you doing, huh?”

“Just making sure you’re mine,” he replies, his voice quiet but playful. His hands find yours, lacing your fingers together. “Is that okay?”

You smile softly, feeling your heart melt. “Of course. You know you’re all I need.”

He leans in, planting a sweet kiss on your cheek before murmuring, “Then you’re mine, too, forever.”

In his embrace, everything feels right, and you can’t help but whisper, “Always, Ni-ki.”

── .✦ @amoressb @chrrific @slayyuna @woniefication @ijustwannareadstuff20 @cheruphic @irasvr @puma-riki

[sunderwight]

AU where there's no system (or a decidedly less restrictive one) and Shen Yuan transmigrates into an OC rogue cultivator before the start of the novel, and decides he's gonna steal the protagonist before Luo Binghe even gets to Cang Qiong.

The logic is sound -- he'll keep Luo Binghe from experiencing neglect and abuse at Shen Qingqiu's hands, raise him away from the pressure of the sects and the likelihood that anyone else might find out about his heritage and try to harm him over it, keep him fully away from the Immortal Alliance Conference, and then Luo Binghe's course will change trajectory because he'll have no reason to want revenge against the world and no access to Xin Mo. Shen Yuan will be able to spare Luo Binghe some suffering and possibly survive in a world less subject to the harrowing whims of a half-mad tyrannical overlord. Win-win!

However, the tricky bit is that he's not sure exactly how far ahead of the novel he is, and also Airplane didn't specify where Luo Binghe grew up. This means that Luo Binghe could be any age younger than twelve and in any number of places along or near to the Luo river.

Shen Yuan decides he's going to approach this by pretending he is looking for the long-lost son of his sister, traveling through the likeliest areas, asking after abandoned children who might fit the protagonist's description. It's a long shot, he knows, and he's mostly relying on the existence of Narrative Destiny. But eventually he is directed by several people towards a particular city, which is not as close to the river as he'd have expected Luo Binghe to grow up, but then again he only knows that was where baby Binghe was found, not where the washerwoman who took him in ultimately lived.

It becomes clear to him, though, that he's been sent to the wrong target. But also why he's been sent astray is apparent in nearly the same breath, because among the slave children living in this area is a little boy who could be his much younger clone.

Seriously, this kid looks just like him! Or, well, close enough. He looks a lot like Shen Yuan's actual nieces and nephews from his past life. It's uncanny.

Also, because of his search, the slave kids get wind of what he's looking for (his long-lost nephew) pretty quick. The boy with the obvious resemblance to him greets Shen Yuan's own assessment with wary cynicism, but he's just a little boy. So it's not difficult to notice the way he's also practically vibrating with hopefulness, half-hiding behind a protective older kid and looking at Shen Yuan with big dark eyes like he expects to be rescued or destroyed with whatever he has to say next.

Shen Yuan has a big problem now. He just knows that if he says something like "actually no this boy is too old to be my nephew" or whatever other excuse, no one will believe him, and also this poor kid is going to be permanently scarred by it. He's going to think Shen Yuan is lying just so that he can reject him. On top of that, he's not in a good situation here. None of these children are even remotely well cared-for.

Shen Yuan's rogue cultivator self isn't rich on the level of being like a wealthy sect leader or anything, but he's made some money since transmigrating by doing random cultivator jobs and quests along the way here. He uses it all to purchase two little slave boys (Do Not Separate), then takes another job and uses that coin to acquire a somewhat rundown manor which used to belong to the local gentry. The Qiu family (rings some bells but that's not exactly an uncommon name) kept it up for a while in case a branch family sprung up in need of a residence, but they've been in decline and the place is downright decrepit, so they had been looking to sell it instead. It's too big for a wandering bachelor like SY to ever need on his own account, but that's sort of the idea. He makes more money taking on cultivator work, at first taking his boys along with him for lack of any alternative. Nerve-wrackingly dangerous! Eventually he hires workers to start restoring the manor, particularly setting up a yard to be a school area, and then starts taking on any freelance jobs he can get in order to steadily buy out the contracts on all the other kids. He gets it nice enough to house and care for as many orphans as he can acquire.

Not because he's a big old softie though!

His story of looking for his nephew is a bust now, since he's apparently "found" the kid. So he's got to change tactics! If he can't find baby Binghe and the washerwoman, the next best approach is to create an opportunity for them to come to him. So once he's got his new household established, he starts offering free lessons to all the local kids. Not just the ones he's taken in, but also any who come by and want to learn some things. It's a tempting setup for anyone who wants their child to get education but can't afford a tutor, and Luo Binghe's mother had been entirely the sort of person who would have packed up and left her situation if there had been an opportunity for it.

On that note, SY also starts hiring single mothers to help look after his new gaggle of children and do the work he doesn't know how to do in these times, like keeping house, laundry, cooking, actually raising kids, etc.

His "little school" is not universally popular. A few groups try and ruin him, because the poverty in the region provides a basis of business for them. The ringleaders of the human traffickers in the area don't want their trade to dry up, even if it means selling all of their merchandise for this round, so when they find out that their underlings let Shen Yuan buy off all the kids they try and intimidate him into returning them (it doesn't go well for them). The Qiu family also isn't thrilled after it becomes clear what he's doing, and get him investigated by the local authorities (read: use their bribed officials and local goons to try and interfere.)

When that doesn't work either the sects get involved, because the Qiu go crying to Huan Hua Palace that Shen Yuan is sketchy and is trying to establish his own sect. So Shen Yuan talks his way around the matter, and frankly the Qiu are small fish even if they're the biggest ones in the local pond, so HHP doesn't care to pursue things much further. (Read: SY could mop the floor with the disciples they sent to investigate him, and it's not worth it to piss off someone this mysterious and powerful just to bully some impoverished children.)

Shen Yuan is appalled by all this bullshit though. Trust the world of PIDW to make it so hard just for a guy to teach some poor kids how to read and do math!

It makes him dig in his heels about it, because he is at heart a stubborn bastard. The fires that once fueled a thousand angry screeds on zhongdian literature site is now aimed at the local magistrate. One of the women he's hired on has some dirt on the Qiu family, which leads SY to dig up some more until he eventually has enough to turn the tables on them. Local officials won't investigate because they've all been bought, but that in and of itself is of some interest to their superiors closer to the palace, and so SY arranges an investigation of his own that goes way further than he thought? Turns out there are some ugly skeletons in the Qiu closets, and the imperial investigator comes down on them hard.

Well, he can't say they didn't have it coming? Though he does feel bad for the children in the family, especially the oldest son, who gets hauled off to jail along with his father. At least the girl is sent to live with relatives. Maybe he should have done more to shield the minors in the situation...?

His kids tell him not to worry about it, though, that apparently young master Qiu was known to run people down in the streets and beat his servants and do other cartoonishly awful things. SY's not sure how much of it is true and how much of it is his little flock of fluffy sheep trying to ease his conscience, though they do all seem to take a lot of vindictive delight in the whole affair. Especially Nephew, who clings to his sleeves and loudly declares that the investigator should have publicly flogged the discredited nobles so that everyone could go watch, and then begs him for sweets as if that wasn't a creepy thing to hear come out of an eight-year-old's mouth. SY just sighs and tells him he can have something good when he finishes his calligraphy practice.

Of course, it's not exactly easy running what is basically an orphanage-slash-school (and maybe a budding sect...?), especially when pretty much all of the kids have been traumatized and faced stuff like rampant dehumanization, food insecurity, abuse, and neglect. Hiring single mothers soon becomes not only a plan to try and lure in Luo Binghe's mom, but an absolute godsend of an idea because SY has no clue WHAT he would do on his own about the discipline issues or emotional breakdowns or acting out that some of the kids get up to once it registers that they're in a safe enough place to unpack their baggage.

Apart from Nephew, SY's favorite kid is the one who came with him, the oldest of the flock of former slave children. He's the big brother of the group, the one who tries his best to look after the others and to not make any trouble himself. But even poor Little Yue is still just a kid who has been through too much, and he also eventually starts having some meltdowns and struggles with processing everything that has happened to him as a vulnerable child in an unkind world.

SY really didn't mean to start a trauma center for mistreated children!

Though, that's still not necessarily a bad thing for Luo Binghe to one day come across, provided he ever actually shows up...

Eventually, Shen Yuan does figure out that he must be ahead even of Luo Binghe's birth, though he still doesn't put together that he's interfered in the scum villain's backstory. Probably something even more amusingly obscure, like the creation year of some random artifact Luo Binghe used in some wife plot or other, tips him off and he mentally throws his hands up in the air. He's got to wait DECADES? Maybe he ought to try and find Luo Binghe's biological parents and just follow them around at this point!

Not that he can, now, though, because he has to make sure no negative IQ villains (who will probably just be cannon fodder for a subplot one day) decide to send goons to literally burn down his orphanage. Also if he's gone for too long his kids get upset. Probably because no one else is as weak to their puppy dog eyes and pleas for treats and toys as he is.

At least it gives him time to shore up his position, and train Nephew and Little Yue more extensively in cultivation. Despite his initial assurances to HHP that he was but a humble orphan wrangler who was only incidentally a cultivator, Shen Yuan does also teach the other kids some basic cultivation exercises. There are a few reasons for that.

One is just the principle of the thing. No, these kids don't all have the potential to become great immortals or anything, but they can still learn some of it and it's good for their health if they do. The only trouble is if they try and push too hard or attempt things beyond their range, and that's a risk with everyone who cultivates. Or even just exercises!

Another reason is that it helps stave off the jealousy that some of the kids have towards those with more cultivation potential. Teaching a lot of the basics all around makes it into just another topic at school. Some kids might not be as good at it as others, but those kids might also be better at math, or memorization, or board games, and while cultivation can open more doors to people as adults, for the children this is generally enough to satisfy their sense of fairness. Or at least reduce outbursts and fights.

Finally, the impression that any of SY's kids might be a cultivator also makes wicked people more reluctant to try and abduct or interfere with them. Cultivators are revered and nearly mythological figures in the public consciousness. It isn't difficult to see why, if even a rogue cultivator NPC like SY* can mop the floor with most random muggers (*Shen Yuan is not a normal rogue cultivator). Not many people want to risk bringing SY's ire down on them, but of those who might chance it if he wasn't around to immediately react, even fewer want to risk that the kids themselves could kick their asses.

Not knowing that only two of the orphans probably could in fact mop the floor with them helps keep all the rest safer, and is more believable when all of them can conduct themselves enough like disciples to fool anyone who doesn't know what to really look for.

Developments that surprise Shen Yuan but wouldn't surprise anyone else who is paying attention:

People start leaving unwanted babies and younger children on his doorstep. Not all the time, but more than once has he had to frantically find wet nurses and worry that he's changed things enough that some fishermen might just randomly drop the protagonist outside his gate, and he wouldn't even know because Binghe would be a literal infant??

Nephew (SJ) and Little Yue (Yue Qi -- only Shen Yuan calls him "Little", especially when he gets taller than SY by the time he's sixteen) are prodigies who get really good at cultivation, really fast, and between that and Shen Yuan's OP skills they completely warp Shen Yuan's ideas for what normal cultivation potential looks like. This would probably cause more problems if he wasn't teaching all the kids how to cultivate anyway, but means his students actually do kinda run the usual range of skills for a small sect.

SJ and YQ swiftly reach the point where they need more advanced equipment than just SY's teaching can provide, if they're going to keep building their skills. Gaining access to certain tools, aids, and materials (like spiritual swords) is a real hurdle though, and usually is for rogue cultivators (one of the major disadvantages of no sect affiliation.) Shen Yuan is hesitant to use stuff from the plot, since it's For Binghe, but he eventually caves and starts going after some things that he doesn't think the future protagonist will miss much. He also ends up buying stuff from HHP, since they're willing to sell things like spiritual tools and weapons if the price is right, whereas most other sects like Cang Qiong reserve them for members only.

They get an invitation to the Immortal Alliance Conference. Not the one where the Abyss opens up, obviously, the one where (originally) Shen Jiu reunited with Yue Qi and killed Wu Yanzi. Shen Yuan debates on going but the boys really want to, and things have calmed down enough that no one's trying to burn down the school whenever he leaves these days, so eventually he figures it'll be interesting to see some of the Cang Qiong characters and should be safe enough if he keeps his disciples close.

They don't run into young Yue Qingyuan or Shen Qingqiu on the trip, but Wu Yanzi does show up and get killed, and SY only hears about it and assumes they just missed all that action. (WYZ just got caught by some senior cultivators who recognized him and killed him to avenge some disciples he murdered.) Nephew and Little Yue do meet young Liu Qingge, Shang Qinghua, Mu Qingfang, and Su Xiyan though! Which gives Shen Yuan the opportunity to tell them all (mostly Su Xiyan) that if they're ever in trouble near his school, they can come to him for help. Hint hint.

This open invitation ends up being accepted broadly by a lot of traveling cultivators after the conference, who from then on treat Shen Yuan's school like a free motel whenever they're passing through. Plenty aren't even people SY met, but it seems his statement was taken as a general one to fellow righteous cultivators all around! Luckily, this has some advantages. Shen Yuan has no qualms running off anyone who tries to take unfair advantage of him or especially his kids or staff, and no shame in conscripting anyone who is decent enough to help teach his students, even if it's nothing to do with cultivating, and somehow word gets around and people start bringing school supplies, medicine, food, or other useful things along with them as gifts to help repay the hospitality. Young Liu Qingge comes by a lot on his way to and from various quests, or even seems to just turn up randomly sometimes (he comes to challenge YQ and SJ to fights), and SY's just like "I guess this is happening now" and teaches him to recognize the early signs of qi deviation and advises strongly against meditating in caves.

At one point a young Shang Qinghua turns up in one of the spare rooms, very obviously hiding an ice demon. Shen Yuan again is just like "I guess this is happening now" and shelters them until Mobei Jun has recovered, and sends a message to Cang Qiong that one of their An Ding caravans was attacked and their disciple is recovering under his roof but isn't well enough to travel yet. Much less stressful situation for Airplane (who is desperately trying to figure out what he did to manifest SJ's benevolent uncle from somewhere???)

Su Xiyan seems like the only person they met at the Immortal Alliance Conference who doesn't turn up at their door in a state of emergency at some point.

A few years later, there is a big scandal involving her and the demon emperor. Su Xiyan disappears, Huan Hua Palace accuses Tianlang Jun of plotting against the righteous sects, and Shen Yuan is even invited to the meeting where they try and rally everyone to go kill Binghe's dad. Naturally, he declines to participate in the witch hunt, but the major sects agree to it. By luck (or narrative fortune) Shen Yuan comes across Zhuzhi Lang on his trip back home, and mentions the ambush and his distaste for it (not knowing who ZZL is). ZZL warns Tianlang Jun and the confrontation goes very differently, especially since there's no Yue Qingyuan wielding Xuan Su.

It doesn't go well for the sects involved. Huan Hua Palace gets decimated. The Old Palace Master gets killed. Shen Yuan is like uhhhh that's... whoops? Didn't Luo Binghe need that in the future?? Fuck.

But the sect isn't wiped out completely, they just take a massive beating. Some of their younger disciples end up leaving and turning up on Shen Yuan's doorstep, for some reason. The manor house is becoming too small to account for all of these foundlings! They have to expand. Though the expansions would be a stretch to term a "palace" they end up occupying a much larger chunk of territory, and even investing in farmland and some storehouses to help support the sect. That's still not really a sect, of course. Even if a lot of the business that would have normally gone to Huan Hua Palace starts coming to them instead. Once HHP is back on its feet the stream will probably dry out. Probably?

Zhuzhi Lang starts hanging around. He's actually looking for Su Xiyan or their baby, dead or alive and per Tianlang Jun's instructions, but he uses Shen Yuan's school as base camp for his kind of hopeless efforts to find any traces of them, while also looking for ways to try and repay Shen Yuan. All the kids are just like "oh great, another weird man has fallen in love with Shizun -- someone go run interference" about it.

Some years later, an older woman and her young son turn up. Shen Yuan's off on a quest at the time, so SJ receives them. As is standard procedure he gives the woman a job and places the boy in classes, after giving him the aptitude tests. The kid is cute and precocious, so SJ uses him to distract YQ while he himself sneaks out to go join LQG on a monster hunt (and claim the valuable parts of the beast's remains for himself), and neither SY nor ZZL notice anything until SY's going over the paperwork for stuff he missed while he was gone. Since he procrastinated, it takes him like a week to find out that Luo Binghe is finally under his roof. He's going over the admission form right when SJ arrives with The New Adorable Child to try and distract SY enough that SY will let him go on a solo hunt -- as far as being distracted goes, it is way more effective than even SJ anticipated.

Then he has to figure out how to let ZZL know, so that ZZL can let Tianlang Jun know, so that Luo Binghe will have more family than just his mom and more resources than just a shabby little not-sect! But even once he figures it out and sets up the dramatic reveal, TLJ is just like "great! so can he just stay with you? he's probably fine there" which... irritates SY.

SJ fully conscripts Luo Binghe as a minion in his many cons. He never lost his street kid conman tactics, although he now uses them less as a ruthless survival tool or weapon and more to just get things to go his own way. LBH has the face and disposition of a little angel, which SJ no longer can pull off as a full grown adult, so he fills a gap. LBH also knows full well what's going, especially since a lot of SJ's tactics involve throwing LBH at SY like a smoke bomb.

Luo Binghe inevitably still develops a big fat crush on SY, so this is fine by him. Especially when he gets older, he starts bringing SY tea and making him breakfast and running his errands until even SJ is like "wait a minute, this little brat's stealing my job!" and by then it's too late. Luo Binghe is SY's personal assistant, the disciple at conman puppydog eyes has surpassed the master! While SJ was busy being like "I'm going to trick this idiot into doing my chores" LBH was going "I'm going to trick this idiot into giving me his job".

SY takes too long to officially name his school so everyone calls it the Shen Sect, much to his embarrassment.

[ddejavvu]

I can't get the thought of marking Hotch up with lipstick marks out of my head. Like imagine leaving a trail of kisses down from his neck to his dick. And if the lipstick is starting to fade, he'd reapply it for her so she could continue marking him

Hotch is typically more-than-professional during round table sessions, the grim atmosphere of the room setting the tone for his no-nonsense behavior. However, he can't stop himself from itching at a persistent stinging against his collarbone- probably something to do with the mark you'd sucked into his skin only hours earlier.

it's such an intense sensation that he slips a hand beneath his collar to itch it skin-on-skin, something probably unprofessional considering his environment, but one of those base human things that must be done even if it shouldn't be. A few wandering eyes note his movements, observant but neutral as a profiler should be.

It isn't until he withdraws his hand, fingers stained a crimson red, that anyone reacts.

JJ shifts in her seat, eyes blowing wide as Prentiss leans forwards, "Hotch, is that blood?"

Aaron's already grasped the edge of his manila folder with his lipstick-stained fingers, turning the yellow paper a sinful shade. He frowns, glancing down at his pristinely pressed suit, but there's nothing red against his chest.

"Your hand," Reid urges, his brows knitted in concern, but it's Derek- of course - who recognizes the red for what it really is.

"Hold on," He laughs incredulously, a great gust of air that comes out like a bark, "Hold on, hold on, hold on, that came off'a your chest?"

Caught red-handed, Hotch composes himself, which is a very stark difference to the way that his team dissolves into teasing giggles. Penelope has clapped a hand over her mouth, perhaps the only way she can hold herself back from opening it.

"Settle down." Hotch attempts, but Rossi undermines him with an exasperated groan. Once the oldest of the team proves unreachable Hotch knows he's lost the room, and sits in stony silence while he waits for his coworkers to finish getting their fill.

"My man." Morgan declares, clapping Hotch on the shoulder with a strong hand he's lucky not to lose, "She got you in the doorway this morning, didn't she?"

"We're talking about dead teenagers, here." Hotch reminds them, raising a brow as Emily, Penelope, and JJ collapse into girlish giggles, "Can we please focus on the case?"

"This is on you, Hotch." Rossi levels him with what's supposed to be an unimpressed glare, and what really comes off as a smirk, "It's not their fault you come to work with lipstick under your clothes."

"I have to ask Y/N for that shade," Penelope gushes, but at Hotch's warning glare she grabs her remote and retakes her place beside the viewing screen, "But-! But our trusty boss is right, there are lives on the line here. So- um, incriminating lipstick stains pushed to the back of the mind, we'll start up again on our case."

Hotch's shoulders relax as the team sinks back into careful contemplation of the case details. He thinks he's escaped scrutiny altogether thanks to the shocking violence of this particular unsub, but it's three days later when he hears about the lipstick stains again.

Surprisingly, it's Reid that comes to torture him, and the slick comment comes when Hotch is forced into sharing a motel room with him. Communal bathrooms are in the middle of the complex, but it's easier to change in their rooms. He unbuckles his belt facing the corner of the small room, giving Reid space to change himself, and giving both of them as much privacy as possible.

"Careful, Hotch," Reid calls, voice misleadingly kind-hearted which lures Aaron into a sense of security, "There's a gap in the curtains behind where you're standing. You wouldn't want any onlookers to see any more lipstick Y/N left behind."

Hotch decides that Reid is worse than Morgan. Morgan is expected to be crass, so it's not a shock when it's delivered. Reid, however, is one to watch out for.

"Reid," Hotch responds, hearing Spencer's breathy laughter already bubbling from his throat, "I'm sticking you on desk duty for a month when we get back."

[starcurtain]

Comparing Phaidei and Other Hoyo MLM Ships (Part 1)

I barely know how to begin, honestly, because I'm still so taken aback by the absolute Phaidei feast that was 3.1. But perhaps because we were so overfed by the patch, I was actually jarred a little out of the story itself--too busy turning over the broader ramifications of such blatant queer-coding of two male characters in a modern Hoyoverse game.

Of course, Hoyo isn't remotely new to queer-coding their characters (or to queer-baiting, either, gacha games gotta hustle at all times). They absolutely have a history of hinting at both WLW and MLM ships and of including fanservice between the player's MC and other playable characters regardless of gender. Strangely enough, due to the unique confluence of their target audiences' tastes, the Hoyoverse team has an active profit motive to create gay characters:

WLW ships are appealing to heterosexual male players.

MLM ships are appealing to heterosexual female players.

Simultaneously, WLW and MLM ships are appealing to queer players.

Heterosexual ships with characters other than the MC are unappealing to a large percentage of the game's playerbase, particularly to heterosexual male players who want to keep their waifus to themselves but also to female yumeshippers.

Hoyo's market is literally telling them that 1) male characters sell better when they're ship-baited with other male characters, and 2) players don't actually want heterosexual ships between playable characters if the MC isn't involved. (Hell, look at Firefly--players hate romances with the MC too lol!)

But at the same time as the market is telling the devs to keep making queer characters, Hoyoverse also faces immense social pressure to avoid including actual queer content.

Let me hold off on the political and legal consequences of including gay characters in Chinese media for just a second, and look at the situation from the perspective of Hoyo's target audiences first:

Take this data with a grain of salt though; I'm not sure where they got their numbers.

First, Hoyoverse games are increasingly global and surprisingly popular in conservative/religious countries such as Russia, Malaysia, and the UAE. The western world as a whole is shifting increasingly right on LGBT+ issues. For the games to be marketed well across the globe, they've got to avoid challenging the morals of these highly varied audiences. (Perhaps this is why past Hoyoverse titles seemed more open to LGBT+ content than present Hoyoverse games do; a broader audience actually means more restrictions on content.)

Second, even though conservative heterosexual male players are actually surprisingly fine with MLM ship tease, that only applies so long as it stays at the level of "I can pretend I don't see it." As long as anti-LGBT+ players can write off any MLM content as "just close friends," the dev team can get away with frankly shocking amounts of queer interaction between male characters. (I'm sorry to any straight male fans reading this [could there possibly be any?], but half of y'all could win gold medals if mental gymnastics were a sport. The lengths I have seen some male Genshin players go to try to explain away Haikaveh are honestly awe-inspiring. 😂) However, the boundary must be respected. The moment a male character's queerness exceeds subtext and becomes text, when even mental gymnastics cannot come up with a heterosexual explanation, and the plausible deniability goes out the window, it is no longer acceptable to anti-LGBT+ players, and they will be "turned off" from pulling that male character en masse. In essence, the market is telling the devs: 1) Huge amounts of queer-coding = a-okay, but 2) Actual canon queer content = that's gayyyy, no wayyyy.

And third, the obvious: China's stance on LGBT+ people is weirdly stricter in media than it is in "real" life. It is not illegal to be gay in China but it is illegal to be gay in a video game in China. Restrictions on media portrayals of gayness are significantly more strict than restrictions on actually being gay (which is interesting cognitive dissonance for those from outside the country, but that's an essay for another day). Hoyoverse legally cannot show characters engaged in any explicitly queer behaviors--at least that can't be explained away.

Furthermore, the rules apply very differently for male and female characters. WLW content gets way more of a pass from the censors. Bronya and Seele can blush at each other, but Alhaitham and Kaveh cannot. You would never see "Rondo Across Countless Kalpas" happening with male Hoyoverse characters. The censors literally would not allow it, strictly because Chinese standards for portrayals of men are different--and more strict!--than standards for portraying women. Legally, there are strong and serious limitations on what Hoyo can do with their male characters.

Summing all of this up, in trying to create their male characters and content, Hoyoverse is actually fighting a battle of conflicting pressures: Male characters sell better when they are queer-coded, but their interactions can never rise to the level of being canonically gay.

Everything must exist in the realm of implication.

(Yes, I can hear you: "Can you please get to Phaidei already?" 😂)

All of this foreword was to lay a foundation for the actual point I want to make about Phaidei: Because Hoyoverse can only queer-code and not actually queer their male characters, they have (in their modern games), fallen into a sort of pattern with their MLM ship bait. Certain plots and personalities keeps reappearing again and again. They've developed a sort of short-hand set of traits to give to their male characters--the Hoyoverse "queer-coded MLM starter pack" if you will lol.

While not every popular MLM ship in Hoyo's games has the same traits (obviously not), certain elements seem central to creating the delicate necessary gray area between "They're just baiting fangirls" and "The devs intended these two characters to be canonically gay but just couldn't state that textually."

And yet... And yet...

You're not imagining things: Phaidei is actually different.

To demonstrate just how different though, I wanted to take the time to compare Phaidei with other popular Hoyoverse MLM ships, looking at both the similarities (the patterns that Hoyo relies on to reliably queer-code their characters) and the noticeable differences (where Hoyo pushed their own boundaries in surprising ways).

Unfortunately, in the interest of full transparency, my own Hoyoverse experience is limited, so I can only use examples from Star Rail and Genshin Impact. I just haven't played HI3 or ZZZ, so I don't feel comfortable trying to use examples from those games, although I think there may be many ships that fall into similar patterns in those games as well. (Maybe some people can share in the comments?)

Anyway, let's start with similarities:

1. A Pair of Equals

The number one "rule" for popular Hoyoverse queer-coded MLM ships is that the two characters must be evenly matched. This isn't to say they have to have identical levels of physical strength (although that is also often the case); instead, the audience needs to perceive them as being on equal footing in some way. They must either be intellectual equals (Alhaitham and Kaveh), political equals (Ratio and Aventurine; Neuvillette and Wriothesley), equal in social standing (Tighnari and Cyno), or, yes, actually physically equal their capability for going toe-to-toe against each other (Blade and Dan Heng; possibly Zhongli and Childe; for those who ship it, Diluc and Kaeya).

For modern Hoyo games, queer-coded MLM ships with noticeable discrepancies in power dynamics are particularly rare; possibly the only one that comes to mind is Ayato/Thoma (though this is mitigated by the game deliberately telling us that Ayato treats Thoma like family, rather than like a servant). And I think this actually says a lot about the devs' thought process: They are deliberately avoiding scenarios in which one male character seems capable of "preying" on another, where the queer-coding could accidentally be perceived as sexual perversion due to a discrepancy in power dynamics.

They're intentionally averting the "depraved homosexual" trope by--sometimes literally--spelling out for the players that both male characters in their queer-coded MLM ships perceive each other as, and are interested in each other as, equals.

We see this explicitly with Ratio and Aventurine in Star Rail:

And Alhaitham and Kaveh in Genshin:

Even Blade and Dan Heng are likened to "a pair" of identical objects:

So of course, Phainon and Mydei push this to an extreme. Phainon describes himself and Mydei as "friends and foes," and the game goes out of it way to reiterate over and over that they are perfect equals. Although they compete in everything they do, there is never a clear victor; their score card is constantly balancing out because they match each other's skill and power perfectly.

But there are even hints in the game that this isn't just happening naturally, but also by choice: Even when one of them triumphs over the other, they both backtrack and insist on getting on equal standing again. Whether you win or lose the "competition" in Kremnos in 3.0, the outcome is the same:

Phainon and Mydei perceive each other as perfectly matched (in strength, right, right...) and are actively working to keep it that way.

The game also goes out of its way to insist that Mydei and Phainon aren't just equals in terms of strength but also in social standing. It theoretically should be impossible to match Mydei's place on the social ladder--he's the literal crown prince of an entire nation of world-renowned conquerors. Even Aglaea is not a queen; we see her on screen being forced to contend with Okhema's Council who are fighting her for power. There technically isn't anyone in Amphoreus (at least that we've met so far) who should be able to stand on equal political or administrative footing to Mydei.

Except, of course, for Phainon, who supersedes all others by virtue of being the literal prodigal son, the "Chosen One."

The game insists on putting this in our faces over and over again: Mydei may be a king in the making, but Phainon is the "Deliverer." They are equally matched in terms of authority.

The game even goes out of its way to tell us they're perfect mirrors in personality too:

Hoyo, in the kitchen cooking up another gay ship: LISTEN GUYS, they're equals, do you understand me? A MATCHING SET.

But also...

2. Diametrically Opposed

It isn't enough for the queer-coded men to be each other's perfect equals. They also have to be opposites, typically in terms of their personalities. This is the pattern that repeats itself most consistently across Hoyoverse MLM ships with strong textual support: the two men may be equal, but they're also nothing alike. (At least on the surface.)

Alhaitham and Kaveh's entire plot hinges on their directly opposing personalities and morals, representing the clash between rationality and sensibility. Dan Feng was reserved and cool-tempered, while Yingxing was "arrogant" and brash. Hell, Xingqiu and Chongyun are "refined and clever" versus "forthright and trusting." I actually think Zhongli and Childe, despite being the most popular Hoyoverse ship in the western fandom, have very little canonical support, yet they still fit this pattern, with Zhongli as the refined gentleman to Tartaglia's blood knight tendencies.

We know how Ratio sees himself and Aventurine:

Hoyo really said "Opposites attract" and ran with it for every single MLM ship they ever teased.

And there's a logical reason for this. Making the two male characters dead opposites actually slightly decreases people's ability to argue that they're "just friends"--if they have next to nothing in common, they're not usually bonding over mutual hobbies or basing their connection on shared similarities. It becomes harder to portray two male characters as "bros who just get along great" when they're deliberately written with opposing tastes and personalities. (Real friends can sometimes be dead opposites, obviously, but most friendships are built on mutual interests rather than opposing ones, while romantic relationships hilariously have the "opposites attract" stereotype.)

There's no reason to shove polar opposites together again and again except to watch the sparks fly.

Even Hoyo's male characters' color schemes are often perfectly opposite. Plenty of people have figured out if you palette swap Alhaitham and Kaveh, Dan Heng and Blade, and Ratio and Aventurine, you end up with the same colors. Ayato and Thoma match the pattern here too ("red and blue gays" is a well-known trope).

But once again, the devs pulled out ALL the stops for Phaidei:

They're red versus blue. They're sun and moon. They're outgoing versus introverted. They're a king and a peasant (if we believe what Phainon's telling us about Aedes Elysiae). They're the "outsider" and the "golden boy." One fights with strength and the other with technique, brains versus brawn (actually they're both kind of idiots though, so take this one lightly lol).

However, what I think is most interesting about Hoyo's pairs of MLM opposites that is that the devs deliberately subvert expectations by assigning the opposing traits to the "unexpected" character. In both Haikaveh and Ratiorine, it's the rational scholar who is more overtly caring and attuned to their partner's feelings. In Renheng, it's the kind-hearted Yingxing who is consumed by anger, while the aloof, expressionless Dan Heng's voice trembles in wonder at the mere mention of Yingxing's name.

For Phainon and Mydei, this inversion of opposite traits occurs with their personalities specifically. People expected Mydei to be a gruff, hot-headed, battle-hungry berserker with a sarcastic or arrogant personality at best.

Instead, Mydei is an extremely thoughtful person, who struggles with his fate not because of what will happen to himself but because of a desire to bring the greatest good to the greatest number of his people. He's a respectful, gentle (when he needs to be), and even sentimental young man who continues to hold on to love for those who have long passed away. He's reserved around strangers but generous and warm to his companions, and struggles to express himself but has a clear desire to be considerate of others.

We also know he's deeply aware of and emotionally affected by the racism his people are experiencing in Okhema; one NPC in Okhema reports how Mydei, despite being new to Okhema himself, stood up to the very council still plaguing Aglaea in order to protect his people:

Despite having difficulties expressing his own thoughts, he even scolds Phainon for approaching their farewell with a nonchalant expression--Mydei doesn't reject emotions or shy away from becoming close with people he cares for.

Instead, it's Phainon who actually struggles to be honest. While he might connect easily with others on the surface, seeming outgoing and kind-hearted, he is actually a much more private person, one who is reluctant to show his true feelings and dismissive of questions about his past and identity. As opposed to Mydei's desire to avoid Nikador's power, Phainon is (despite his doubts) eager to prove himself, spurned on by the pressure of the prophecy telling him he needs to achieve greatness. We're told that he craved the power of strife specifically, while Mydei summarily wishes to reject it.

It's Phainon who frequently has to be reined in by others--he was ready to kill Oronyx for delaying his rescue of Mydei--and Phainon who fails to let go of his hatred and desire for revenge, causing him to fail Nikador's trial, which Mydei easily clears.

By inverting the traits of the characters, creating designs which visually oppose each other while assigning the actual opposing personality traits to the "mismatched" character, the devs hammer home an implicit message: These two characters complete each other. They fill in each other's gaps. What you expected to find in one of these men, you will instead find in the other. What they wish to be, they will be drawn to in each other.

(Frequently bought together, do not separate!)

3. The Distance is Artificial

Okay, so if they're so obviously written as a "pair," being perfect equals and perfect opposites, how are they just "queer-coded" and not explicitly queer? How is Hoyo keeping up the illusion of the characters not being an obvious couple when they're literally written to complete each other?

Hoyo has one major tool in their arsenal to do this: Prickly personalities.

With the exception of Renheng, which I'll get to in a second, Hoyo has a favorite method for enforcing the rule of plausible deniability, the idea that "Nooo, we promise, they're not in love; they don't even like each other, see??"--and that's giving one of the characters an intractable personality.

This can manifest, like Alhaitham and Kaveh, as constant bickering, where the pair's main method of communication is to devolve into petty arguments or sarcastic quips.

Fans who support the ship can view this as an "old married couple" dynamic; but for those who do not support the ship and choose to insist that Hoyo isn't actually queer-coding their male characters, they can lean on these arguments as "proof" that the characters don't actually love each other.

A similar pattern was recently repeated with Sethos/Wanderer, with Wanderer's prickly personality being used to keep Sethos at bay.

By placing the characters at odds with each other through bickering, Hoyo introduces just enough doubt to make the "They're only friends/roommates, we promise" argument hold some water. This allows them to get--quite honestly--a lot of queer content past the censors and past homophobic audiences too.

We see them repeat this trope with Aventurine and Ratio in Star Rail, introducing the two characters as initially "at odds" with each other and trying to pass it off as Ratio despising Aventurine.

Even after revealing that they were plotting together, the game insists on introducing some lingering doubts, suggesting that Aventurine fears Ratio would actually betray him.

This creates the necessary "gray area," the gap that Hoyo can use to hide in--no, Aventurine doesn't trust Ratio at all, see? Maybe they don't even like each other? Who knows! The doubt doesn't exist because the story particularly needs it, but simply so that Hoyo has a shield to hide behind if people begin to question how close the two male characters are.

Even in comedic material, Hoyo intentionally keeps this "necessary distance" in order to allow themselves wiggle room. Is Ratio an enamored tsundere who can't spit his real feelings out, or does he actually think Aventurine is illogical, mediocre, and ridiculous? Was the "Keeping Up With Star Rail" video an example of Hoyo deliberately baiting by making Ratio flustered over Aventurine "on air," or is he being Aventurine's biggest hater in this clip?

It's just questionable enough that those players who hate MLM to interpret it as the latter, and provides just enough doubt to help Hoyo slip queer-coding under the radar. Those who want to see it will see, while it's written just vaguely enough that those who don't want to see it will not see it.

(That's the point Owlbert, that's the point.)

When in doubt, and when stuck with a pair of characters who aren't likely to bicker with words, Hoyo sometimes has to progress to the next level: making them actual enemies.

What's better for creating plausible deniability than one of them trying to kill the other? (They definitely were not fooling around in a past life. We promise.) In an ironic twist with Renheng in particular, the fandom seems to have somehow come to the (mistaken) consensus that Dan Feng and Yingxing were "confirmed canon" (truly, I see this stated everywhere; we love when reading comprehension fails in the right direction for once lol), leaving only Dan Heng/Blade as being of questionable "canonicity." However, this still works as far as Hoyo is concerned, because only Dan Heng and Blade are left on screen.

By insisting on their present inability to reconcile, Blade and Dan Heng are able to introduce just enough doubt into the equation to offset even significant ship tease for Dan Feng/Yingxing.

Enemies to lovers 150k+ slow burn, please look forward to it.

Okay, but back to Phaidei. At first, it seems like Phaidei is going to follow this pattern to a T: When Phainon first introduces Trailblazer to Mydei, the two seem to be at odds, bickering over how Mydei is choosing to confront the enemy. Mydei even calls Phainon out for an unintentionally insensitive statement (when Phainon demands to know why Mydei isn't "protecting the citizens," Mydei asks "Who are you implying is not a citizen here?" i.e., "Are you saying because I'm Kremnoan I don't count as a citizen?" You can see Phainon practically bite his tongue to take back his words.)

Also known as: Mydei experiences a microaggression.

Mydei's very first line directly to the Trailblazer is to insult Phainon's hospitality, and we know they definitely have plenty of silly insults to lob at each other while competing.

But this is actually where we see the first deviation from the pattern for Phaidei. Although there's a few cursory lines throughout their early dialogue, that's all there ever is--just cursory attempts at suggesting the two bicker and don't get along.

Within one scene, the "tension" present in their first meeting entirely devolves into purely playful banter, and it is clear by the time we finish 3.0 that Phainon and Mydei are actually very close and get along well, with virtually none of Haikaveh's biting comments, Blade and Dan Heng's violence, or Aventurine and Ratio's questions of loyalty. Phainon and Mydei took one look at the rest of Hoyoverse's MLM ships and said "How about we skip that will they-won't they?" lol.

But I'm not quite ready to talk about the places where Phaidei departs from the normal pattern yet, so I'll leave this point by just saying that Hoyo did start Phaidei on the same path as a majority of their other MLM ships, making a vague attempt at using their rivalry to suggest they wouldn't get along--thereby allowing for the alternative interpretation to quiet the haters (and the censors).

4. The (Physical) Distance is Non-Existent

Okay, but if Hoyo uses personalities to inject just enough distance into their queer-coded pairings to avoid crossing any boundaries, then what do they do to tantalize the audience, to make it seem like the characters might actually like each other?

They use body language!

First, just to reiterate a basic video game design principle: All animations and character placements have to be programmed by someone, and that means that all animations and the physical locations of characters in scenes are intentional. Nothing happens in cutscenes by accident.

Designers are constantly making a series of choices any time they have to put together a cutscene, and one of the key choices they have to make is how to express each character through their movements and their positions relative to other characters. (I've talked before, for example, about how Aventurine frequently turns his back on people, forcing their eyes to follow him throughout his cutscenes, taking physical control of the reactions of people around him.)

Hoyoverse games have somewhat standardized scene layouts for conversation cutscenes, with characters typically being placed at different distances from each other depending on their relationships. A majority of conversations happen from a generally cordial conversational distance, which means that any time characters cross this gap and close the distance, the dev team is intentionally sending the players a message.

Like, no one mistook what this was about, right?

Heterosexual jumpscare in my queer post; I'm sorry, I was just too tired to find a video with Lumine lol.

Repeating for good measure: Unless it is with a male playable main character (where the presence of the female main character is what lends the deniability), Hoyo legally cannot show their male characters engaging in physical contact that could be construed as romantic. Male characters can't hold hands; they can't even really hug unless it's "caught you as you fell after battle" (props to Dan Heng for being the only male character in Star Rail to get a "hug" with Jing Yuan lol.) There's a boundary that Hoyo male characters do not cross, and that's almost universally the realm of physical touch.

But Hoyo can place their queer-coded male characters into scenarios of physical closeness that they don't typically show among other characters.

Alhaitham and Kaveh's table says hello.

So does Tighnari and Cyno's single tent from this same quest; Cyno's Story 2, truly the quest that kept on giving.

Aventurine, a character who traditionally keeps half a room's distance between himself and the people he's talking to, suddenly doesn't seem to mind closing the distance with Ratio:

And even Renheng, the eternal enemies, are depicted as crossing physical boundaries, explicitly "getting in each other's faces." Yes it's a battle, but also, I've seen yaoi with less domineering poses lol.

You might think these lightcone examples are a stretch, but seriously: Go look at all the lightcones in the game. Does a single heterosexual couple have a lightcone where they are in each other's space in this manner? No, because physical closeness is actually a tool Hoyo is consistently using to queer-code. (Well, there would probably be more heterosexual closeness too if the incels weren't so weird...)

Anyway, when I saw the devs might be heading the direction of baiting Phaidei, I fully expected that we would see them side-by-side more consistently and with less of a gap between them than between other characters. But I wasn't remotely ready for the degree to which Hoyo would take that.

Here is an example of Phaidei exhibiting the "normal" Star Rail conversational distance:

Andddd... here's where they spend the other 90% of their scenes together:

The unnecessarily large distance between them and the Trailblazer gets me every time. Like they are not leaving room for Jesus Kephale.

Even when they aren't standing practically on top of each other, the devs deliberately choose camera angles that frame them both in the cutscene at the same time, which is relatively rare for Star Rail (not unheard of, but usually the camera will just go for the "first person POV" when two people are speaking, allowing for a close up of the speaking character). Instead of back-and-forth close ups, many of Mydei and Phainon's conversations are framed from a "behind-the-shoulder" angle, to catch them both in the frame. This creates the illusion that they're standing closer together than they are, and also reinforces a sense of intimacy in their conversations--the camera (and thus the player) becomes an "outsider" while their bodies turn toward each other.

Again, Hoyoverse is under pressure to avoid showing physical contact between male characters that could be construed romantically. They can't show Mydei and Phainon tangoing like Black Swan and Acheron. When it comes to queer-coding male characters, they have to use the tools available to them, and their primary tool for visually signifying the possibility of romantic closeness is physical closeness.

The camera is telling you that Mydei and Phainon are close.

Anyway, just one more point I wanted to make before moving on to discussing how Phaidei completely crushed the mold for Hoyoverse queer-coding, but...

5. Oh God, We're Turning Into Your Parents

Listen, I'm a reasonable person. I can fully accept that I play games with LGBT+ goggles on at all times. Despite being fantastically aroace myself, I love yaoi. I love yuri. I even like plenty of straight ships. I'm a fangirl first, academic second, so believe me when I say that I understand how skeptics might view some of the points above. "You're just fangirling. Being equals and opposites doesn't automatically imply romance. The devs might have intended close friendship, not a relationship." This counter-argument is valid!

So I want to end with one more point which I think is actually the lynch pin to proving that Hoyoverse isn't "accidentally" making their male characters come across as queer. Hoyo's queer-coding for certain ships is very intentional and even sometimes very overt. In a few cases prior to Phaidei, they were already skirting the upper limits of plausible deniability, and I think the modern ship that previously pushed the boundary the most is Haikaveh.

You can say what you want about other Hoyo MLM ships and their lack of canon textual support (I love you ZhongChi, even if the devs actually hate you lol), but I believe people who unironically say "The devs are not baiting Alhaitham and Kaveh as a ship" are so media illiterate that it's actually embarrassing to share air with them. Whether you think the devs are just doing it to cash in on yaoi fangirls or because they actually want to depict gay characters, it is indisputable at this point that Alhaitham and Kaveh have in-game ship tease. They just do, and one of the most obvious and unmistakable instances of this is when Kaveh's hangout paralleled Kaveh's relationship with Alhaitham to the heterosexual marriage between Kaveh's mother and father.

To draw a direct connection between Kaveh's father and Alhaitham, who is repeatedly described as not being able to understand Kaveh's artistic sensibilities and idealistic world view but nevertheless chooses to stay by Kaveh's side through his many troubles, while simultaneously reinforcing the idea that Kaveh is his mother's spitting image, both physically and emotionally, can really not be interpreted in any other way.

Hoyoverse took a queer relationship and made a one-for-one analogy to a heterosexual relationship--Alhaitham and Kaveh are a direct reflection of Kaveh's very married parents.

This isn't something that can happen on accident. This is deliberate and unmistakable queer-coding.

Which makes it absolutely wild that it happened twice.

I've posted already about the obvious parallels between Mydei's parents and Phaidei, and I'm actually almost out of room for new images here, so I can't post the images again, but I hardly need to at this point: Mydei's parents met when Gorgo challenged Eurypon at the Kremnos Festival. They fought for ten rounds, determined that they were (what do you know) perfect equals, and Eurypon proposed on the spot. Eurypon is explicitly described as a swordmaster, while Gorgo used a spear.

Later, the game repeatedly (and in various separate instances), emphasizes that Mydei and Phainon's first meeting consisted of a duel lasting ten days and ten nights, where neither of them could secure the victory, proving them to also be each other's perfect equals. Phainon's role as Okhema's swordmaster is emphasized, while Mydei wields a spear just like his mother when killing his father and after taking on Nikador's divinity.

Then there's... everything that came after. Eurypon betrayed Gorgo, effectively stabbing her in the back, and took her life. The foreshadowing that Phainon will do this exact same thing to Mydei is unmissable.

Phainon has even expressed an explicit desire to take part in the same competition where Mydei's father crowned the winner his wife:

In the (very limited) Kremnoan dictionary, I'm pretty sure this is how you say "I'm down to fuck."

Just as in the case with Haikaveh, there is no way that this parallel could have occurred by accident. The devs did not go out of their way to give us entire flashbacks of Gorgo and Eurypon's meeting and downfall for no reason. You're supposed to see the one-for-one connection between Mydei's very heterosexual, married parents and Phainon and Mydei's relationship.

Simultaneously, the devs also parallel their MLM ships to heterosexual relations by incorporating shades of domesticity normally reserved for "traditional" male-female relationships into their MLM ships--including levels of domesticity that heterosexual ships in Genshin and Star Rail usually don't rise to. One of Genshin's most popular MLM ships shares a single-family home and has a chore chart. Thoma is Ayato's housekeeper. Tighnari and Cyno are just flat-out joint raising a child. Jiaoqiu cooks and Moze cleans. Yingxing and Dan Feng accidentally(?) made a baby.

And Phainon and Mydei aren't any exception. They live an apocalyptic world that is constantly calling them away to battle, but the devs went out of their way to tell us Mydei is an extremely good cook who prepares everyone's food and deliberately ruins Phainon's when he's annoying, which is definitely old married couple behavior lol. Mydei is framed repeatedly as being good with children, not just in the distant fatherly way but in the "plays house" and follows-along-after-unaccompanied-kids-like-a-mother-hen way. Yet when Mydei has to leave, taking the classic "I'm going off to war" ancient Greek exit, he doesn't depart without leaving Phainon his people--with the camera panning specifically to the little Kremnoans. Phainon got the kids in the divorce. D; The tragic domesticity is already off the charts, and then they hit you the second punch when Mydei's last question (just one or two lines later) confirms that it was Phainon who got the ring for him. Hoyo couldn't actually have given us a more heavy-handed "parting husband and wife" parallel if someone held them at gunpoint. That whole thing was some Odyssey level bullshit. I see you devs, I see you.

You might be tempted to say that is just heteronormativity, which it could be, but I actually think it serves a very specific place in Hoyo's queer-coding repertoire. In comparing gay relationships to heterosexual marriages, the devs effectively "legitimize" their queer characters, suggesting that the relationships between gay male characters are no less real or valid than those between men and women. In demonstrating that male characters can achieve stable and healthy domestic lives with each other, the devs reiterate that players are not supposed to notice a difference between gay and heterosexual relationships.

There isn't any clearer way for Hoyoverse to legally say "We want you to think of these two men as romantic partners" than to say "Wow, isn't it interesting that their relationship is identical to a married couple's." It's on purpose; at this point, you really can't say the queer-coding isn't deliberate without looking like you can't read, and if it was intentional when Haikaveh paralleled Kaveh's parents, then it was doubly so the second time Hoyoverse pulled this trick to parallel Phaidei to Mydei's parents.

PHEW! Okay, I finally made it through the foundational traits for Hoyoverse MLM ship-bait and where Phaidei fits in with those. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk! 😂

But... the whole reason I started this post was actually because I wanted to talk about differences between Phaidei and other Hoyoverse MLM ships, and particularly how bold Hoyo actually was in 3.1, pushing the envelop to an extreme degree to ship-tease Phainon and Mydei.

So, since the post was way, way too long, I've spit the rest of my point off into a second post.

Check out Part 2 over here. ->

[yourlocalbreadenthusiast]

Kindly take a break from scrolling to read this, it's important.

Take your time to grieve and come to terms with the election results, but once you've done that, it's time to get to work. We have two months. And a lot to do in that time. We have to prepare, to be ready.

Be careful about what you post or say online. Anything potentially incriminating should be avoided. Threatening language, even if clearly a joke, can be used against you.

Know someone who's trans? Someone who's had an abortion? Someone who's LGBTQIA+? Someone who's an immigrant? Someone who attends protests? Someone who's disabled? Someone who might in any way be at risk due to laws being put into place? No you don't.

Move away from social media platforms and browsers that require you to use your real identity or input a large amount of personal information. Now's a good time to find alternate means of communicating online. Tails, Element, Tor, Mastodon, Firefox, and Lemmy are all decent options.

Find a community. Someone you can talk to, either online or in real life, that you'll have reliable contact with. We need to try and create a network, but one that's as anonymous as possible.

Start scrubbing your trail as much as possible. Get rid of old accounts that can still be traced to you but are no longer used, delete personal data off the internet. There are websites out there that will freely remove your data from the internet, but be careful about which one you use, make sure it's safe and legitimate first.

Change any usernames that you can that contain any personal information. Names, birthdays, anything.

Plan B has a four year shelf life. Stock up, but don't take more than you you'll need. We don't want a COVID repeat where everyone buys an excessive amount of things and leaves none for everybody else.

There are doctors that will sterilize you, if that's the way you want to go.

Stop using online period trackers right now. Delete all data from it if possible first, then delete the app itself. If you must, write it down, but in a subtle manner and on something you keep at home. Don't label it, just put the dates. If you're really worried, discard older records and only keep the most recent few, and label the dates as other random events, like "go to mall" or "chicken salad for dinner this night"

Get your vaccines now.

Save money.

Archive. We have to start collecting records, media, data, books, and articles now. On racism, on fascism, on homophobia, on gender, on self-reliance, on survival, on safe travels routes, on equality, on justice, on anything that may be useful and/or censored soon. We can't let them erase it.

Collect those online resources. Bookmark them, copy files into your storage, Screenshot pages. Create a decentralized library where everyone is working to be part of a whole, storing what they can individually and sharing it between one another. Again, be careful about doing this.

Second-hand bookstores are your best friend. Books are usually very cheap in them, and they often have a decent stock. See what you can find.

When buying ANYTHING I have mentioned above, or anything else that maybe put you in danger, try to use cash to reduce your spending trail.

Check your car information online, many newer models can be remotely tracked.

Turn your phone completely off if you may be at risk due to your location and current activities. Turning off your GPS also helps.

Take note of where you are. Who are your friends? Who's a safe person? Where can you go besides your own home that you know you'll be safe? Establish these connections now.

Who around you is not safe? Who and where do you need to avoid? Do you need to move? If you cannot afford moving but need to, there are fundraisers that can help you. If even that is not an option, at least try to make sure your home is secure. Have someone who can help you. Have a fallback safe place.

And finally, I want anyone with resources to put them in the replies. Flood it with useful links, information, tips, anything. We're in this together. Do not panic. Organize.

EDIT: Please be civil in the replies.

[starrbishops]

⟡Not So Secret⟡

(John Walker x Reader)

Summary: After months of keeping your relationship secret, you and John are finally caught. - ao3 version

Word Count: 2k

Notes: (Set after the events of Thunderbolts*, horny fluff, talk of sex, John Walker praise kink (the people have inspired me) established relationship, Bob appearance!

a/n: i cannot help it i love putting this man in silly ass situations so here we are again. Now featuring Bob!

“This movie is really fucked up.”

You turn from your spot on the couch. “So you are watching it?” John stands directly behind the couch, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he stares at the screen. “I’m just passing through.”

“You’ve been passing through for 20 minutes, babe.”

He stays silent, prompting you to hold out a hand, which he (finally) takes as he climbs onto the sofa next to you.

“Took you long enough.” you get comfortable, throwing your legs over your boyfriend’s lap and wrapping your arms around his shoulders, while he snakes an arm around your waist.

“It’s just, I get wanting to get paid, but dude, forcing an amnesiac to be your wife is fucking nuts, even if she does suck as a person.” he gestures at the TV, where an old rom-com you’d put on absentmindedly plays. “Like, I’m a shitty dude, but I’m not that shitty, jesus.”

“You gotta stop talking about yourself like that.” you sigh, “but yeah, this is a very weird premise.”

John throws his free hand up. “Thank you.”

“We don’t have to watch it, y’know.”

“No, I care now. I need to know how this ends so I can complain about it properly.”

You laugh, seeing how he gets riled up over the stupidest things. With most people John has a tendency to be contrary, disagreeing with anything and picking stupid flights over it. He’s been better about it recently, especially since you pointed it out to him. Instead he gets out the general frustration that seems to always hang on him through the most random complaints. It’s cute, seeing what he gets overly enthusiastic or angry about. Last week Bucky accidentally hit a little too hard in training and he brought it up just about any time the other super soldier was in the room.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, letting the movie play on in the background. You peer over at John, who lays back against the couch, absentmindedly rubbing circles with the hand on your waist.

He looks relaxed, something you don’t see often with him. His jaw is clenched, head rolled back. You lean over and peck a kiss on his cheek. 

He turns as you pull back, surprised a little. “What’s that for?”

You shrug. “What, I can’t just kiss my boyfriend for the hell of it?”

“If you’re gonna kiss me, do it right.” he leans in and presses his lips to yours, smiling as he does it. John is never one to half-ass something. His other hand cups your cheek, pulling you closer before running through your hair. 

He grunts a little as you pull away, already leaning back as you giggle. “I thought you were watching the movie.”

“Fuck the movie.” he mutters, grabbing the remote to shut the TV off as he catches your lips again, running his tongue along them before delving into your mouth, as if he's claiming his territory.

You groan as he presses you down against the sofa, now laying on top of you as you wrap your legs around his waist. His large hand grip your hips like you’re going to vanish if he doesn’t hold on.The heat between you grows as you press yourselves as close as possible, as if trying to meld into one.

“So perfect.” he mutters as he comes up briefly for air, moving his mouth to your jaw and trailing kisses down your neck. “Drive me fuckin’ crazy, darlin’.” 

His Georgia drawl peeks out when he gets like this; intense, single minded. If the hardness pressing against your stomach is any indication, the blood has left his head and gone straight to his dick, not that you’re complaining.

“John,” you manage to get out as he starts to push a hand under your shirt. “Babe, we shouldn’t-”

“Why not?” he continues to paper kisses to your collarbone, although his hand has stopped, waiting for your consent to go any further.

“We’re in the living room, what if someone walks in?”

“No one’s gonna walk in”

“Babe.” you grab his chin, forcing him to look you in the eyes as you give him a sharp look. It’s not that you don’t want your teammates to know about the two of you. It’s been a few months, long enough for you to know you’re serious about this, and that John is too. You’d just rather not defile another public living space.

John sighs, hanging his heaven the crook of your neck. You pat him on the back, getting a laugh out of him. “Alright, good boy.”

He goes a little still at that, and you worry for a moment before realizing what you’ve done. “Oh, you’re into that aren’t you?”

“Shut up.” he grumbles as he sits up, pulling you up with him. 

“What, you like it when I tell you how amazing you are?” you tease, one hand running through his beard. He leans into the touch, always happy to take anything you have to offer. “How handsome you are, how good you are in bed?”

“You keep talking like that, I’m not gonna make it to the bed.” he warns, his hand coming up to meet yours. You just chuckle, kissing him once again. Then his hands are moving back to your waist as he lifts you, never breaking the kiss as he moves them to grip your thighs. You tighten your grip around his waist, feeling how aroused he is as he kisses you.

You’re in for a hell of a night, you think, before you hear a sudden “Oh!” from behind you.

You and John both pull away, whipping around to see Bob standing in the entryway, eyes wide and embarrassed. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you guys were busy, um, I can, I can go, I didn’t mean to-” Bob stutters out incoherent apologies as you and John stand frozen, unsure of what to do.

“Bob.” you finally manage to say. “It’s okay. Sorry you had to see that.” you pat John’s shoulder indicating to put you down, which he does, his face still in a state of shock as he stares at Bob.

“It’s okay, I know you guys- I mean, um, it’s fine.”

“You know what?” John breaks his silence as he presses you to the front of him, hiding his still present erection.

Bob opens his mouth again, although no sound comes out as he tries to come up with something to say. “Well, I kinda knew about you guys. For a while.”

Once again, you and your boyfriend stand shocked as Bob begins rambling. “I didn’t mean to not tell you, I just didn’t want to like, invade your privacy because I could tell you wanted it to be secret, sp I didn’t say anything-”

“How long have you known?” John barks out, less angry and more confused and irritated than anything.

Bob wrings his hands. “Um, like three months?”

John hands his head, and you stifle a laugh as you look up at him. He just shakes his head, looking down at you embarrassed. You can’t help it, you start laughin at the ridiculousness of it all.

“We’ve only been dating five months.” you tell Bob through giggles. “How did you even find out?”

“Oh, well, there was this one time I woke up really early by accident, so I went to the kitchen ‘cause I was hungry, and you guys were in there.” he explains, still nervous. “And you seemed, um, busy, so I left.”

“Oh my god.” John mutters, recalling the day in question.

John has a tendency to wake up early; it’s built in from years in the military. Having begun to spend most nights in his bed, you’d started getting up with him, the two of you enjoying the peace and domesticity of breakfast together in the kitchen.

You sat on the island, watching as John made the two of breakfast. You never would’ve expected him to be competent in the kitchen, let alone a good cook. Yet most mornings, he was the one making you both food, always insistent it was “the most important meal of the day.”

“Okay.” he handed over a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs, leaning against the island next to you. You furrowed a brow at him.

“None for you?”

He shrugged. “Not hungry.”

“What happened to the most important meal of the day?” you joke as you elbow him, getting a chuckle in return. Again he just shrugged. “Well, now I feel bad eating because you don't have anything.”

“Come on,” he moved to stand between your legs. “I like doing things for you. Takin’ care of you.” he brushed a stray piece of hair behind your ear, the rest still messy from a long night together.

“Besides, I can think of something else I’d enjoy.” his hands moved to massage your thighs, a sly grin on his face. 

“Jesus, John, again?” you were still sore from the night before, although he didn’t seem to care much as kneeled down before you. Your food was long forgotten, tossed somewhere else on the island as he pressed a kiss to your inner thigh.

“I like takin’ care of my girl.” he tugged at your shorts, his Southern accent peering out before you heard a sudden noise from the hallway. 

You whip[ed around, only to see nothing but an empty entrance.

“Hey.” John squeezed your thigh, drawing your attention back to him. “No one’s up at this hour. We’re good.” 

You ran your hand through his hair. “You’re cleaning up the counter after this.” you joke.

He just smiled, pressing another kiss to your legs. “Fine by me.”

“Oh, Jesus christ.” you cover your eyes in shame, “That was you?”

“Yeah. I didn’t see anything though!” he assures you. “Um, besides, like uh. The setup.”

“Oh my god.” you repeat, remembering how Bob would avoid the kitchen island like a plague.

“Well, at least it was a good morning.” John jokes, prompting you to smack his chest. He clears his throat. “Sorry you had to see it though, Bob.” 

“It’s okay. You guys are cute. Whenever I see you together you seem really happy.”

“Thanks Bob- what do you mean whenever?”

Bob eyes eiden against, realizing he’s said something he shouldn't. “Um, well that wasn’t the only time-”

“Oh god, Bob you pervert.” John cries out,  waving a hand in the air as you laugh again.

“It’s not my fault! You guys are just kinda obvious!” he defends himself, raising hands in a show of peace.

“Bob- stop laughing!” John insists, and you stifle your laughs with her hand. “Bob, please stop watching me and my girlfriend.”

“I don’t watch, yo guys are just always making out in public places!” he argues, shutting up at a sharp look from JOhn. “Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll stay out of it. Congrats, though, I hope you two are very happy together.”

“We are. Now go.” John waves a hand towards the doorway, which Bob quickly walks to before pausing in the wnt raya.

“Could you just, like, not have sex on the couch? I like the couch, I don’t wanna have to avoid it forever-”

“Bob!” the man runs out at the warning from JOhn, who sighs as he lays his head atop yours. “Jesus Christ.”

“I told you this would happen.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were right.”

You smile a little, again reaching up to move his chin to face you. “You know, I don’t mind him knowing.”

John grumbles a little, though he nods. “Yeah. Just rather he does not find out by seeing me eat you on the kitchen counter.”

“Well whose idea was that?” you point out, receiving more grumbles from John above you. “We gotta tell the others, you know.”

He nods, reluctantly. “Do we really have to?” he squeezes your hips. “I like having you to myself.”

“Would you rather have Alexei walk in on us?” he shudders at the thought, eliciting another chuckle from you. 

“Okay.” he concedes, spinning you around to face him. “But tomorrow. I want one more night of just us.”

You smile, reaching up to kiss him again. “Okay.” you agree as you pull away. “So can we get back to what we were doing earlier?”

“God, yes.” you yelp as John lights you again, kissing you firmly as he carries you off towards his room. 

a/n: Anotha one. I have so much fun writing these it's silly. Hope you have just as much fun reading them! Signing off again:

[psychotrenny]

It reveals very deep flaws in your ideological framework if you consistently take the position that "Pedojacketing harassment campaigns against trans women are good if happen to be actual Pedos", especially when your definition of "actual Pedo" is "watches the bad sort of Japanese Cartoons". Like from a coherent materialist point of view, these sorts of campaigns aren't bad because they happen to get wrongly weaponised against innocent transfems. They're bad because this sort of interpersonal harassment is completely useless for both dismantling the systems that make child abuse possible and meaningfully rectifying specific cases of abuse on an individual scale, even in the relatively rare* cases where the target does legitimately support or even engage in this abuse.

This ineffectiveness is especially egregious when the criteria for involvement in abuse isn't based off any actual social relations but merely public engagement with sufficiently reactionary media; determining threat through a usually tenuous and always idealist association. And it's even more egregious when the media being cited isn't "reactionary" by any standard beyond the ignorant homogenisation of an entire nation's media supported by various incorrect assumptions about its general social and legal conditions. The fact that an ostensible "Marxist-Leninist" can hold a position even remotely favourable to these tactics simply demonstrates how detached knowledge of Dialectical Materialism does not automatically translate into an ability to apply it.

*by the nature of these campaigns being most common and effective against those who are least able to defend themselves i.e. those who are most structurally disadvantaged by the very systems that create this abuse in the first place. One a structural level these tactics are oriented towards hurting the vulnerable by rhetorically exploiting the spectre of abuse, not at protecting the vulnerable from actual abuse

[mostly-imagines]

I Missed My Funeral

jason todd x reader

aka you learn what happened to jason

warnings: detailed discussion of how jason died, this is not so happy but i can promise you my jason angst will always have comfort

You wonder if your nightmares are accurate.

Your brain is probably just conjuring up every worst case scenario it can fathom, but maybe there’s truth to one of them. You hope not.

It’s something you haven’t been able to keep out of your mind these past few weeks, and everything seems to remind you of it. When you see his guns, when you’re using a knife to cut up dinner, when you see a car crash on the news, or even when you walk past a fucking pharmacy. The thoughts are everywhere, all the time.

Even as you lay in bed, head on his chest, your mind keeps on drifting where you wish it wouldn’t.

You know he died. He never said it out loud, but you’d seen his autopsy scar plenty of times. You’d always refrained from asking questions, he seemed nervous enough the first handful of times he was around you with his shirt off. Enough time has passed that he’s comfortable being shirtless around you, even okay when you touch his chest. The decrease in boundaries has granted you more solace in one another, but it’s also caused your mind to go wild with possibilities. 

Even now, as you lie against his bare chest, you can’t keep your cat-killing thoughts away.

“You’re being quiet,” He comments, not accusatory, just factual. 

You snap out of reverie, “Sorry, I—”

His hand soothes up and down your arm without pause, “Don’t be sorry. What’s going on?”

“I just…” you look down, thinking over your words. “What…what happened to you?” You ask quietly.

He goes still. 

You immediately regret bringing it up, sitting up from his chest to meet his eyes, “I’m sorry, I don’t need to—”

He shakes his head. The slightest response from him shuts you right up. “No, it’s…it’s okay. Probably should’ve said something by now.”

He nudges your head back down to his chest and you oblige, trying to relax your body against him again. It’s a difficult thing to talk yourself into when his isn’t any more relaxed.

“I…you know I used to be Robin?” His voice is low, hesitant.

You nod.

“Well…I made a mistake—a few mistakes. I wasn’t as careful as I should’ve been and I walked into a trap.”

You’re sure he’s placing more blame on himself than he should, though you don’t know enough to fight him on it yet. You wrap your hand around his forearm that drapes across your chest, a silent affirmation that you’re here with nothing but support and reassurance.

His breath stutters, “The, uh…the Joker set me up and…well, he killed me.”

You don’t want to ask how. You don’t want to know how. But you feel like you have to and it’s selfish and you know that but you can’t leave just it at that. 

It’s a barely audible whisper. You’re not even sure Jason could fully hear the word, but he understands the intent anyway.

His next exhale is shaky, “Yeah, um, that’s the rough part.”

Your head twitches. “That’s the rough part?” You breathe out, scared to hear what’s next.

You can’t see from this angle, but Jason’s eyes are welling over, trying desperately not to let tears fall. It takes him a moment to prepare himself to verbalize the next part. 

“He…he be—” he stops himself. “…He hit me with a crowbar. A lot.”

Oh.

You can physically feel your chest sink.

That’s worse than all the horrifying scenarios you’d built up in your head. That’s…he was beaten to death. For trying to help people. 

You don’t want to leave him in the silence for too long, so you ask the only thing you can think to. 

“How old were you?” 

He drops his head to press his mouth against your head, like he’s trying to ground himself. “Fifteen,” He murmurs into your hair.

Oh.  

You flip over so you’re chest to chest with him and hold him tight. “I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t expecting you to say that. The very very few times he’s had anything even remotely relating to this conversation, the revelation is always met by silence. Or worse.

But you’re sorry. No one’s ever said that to him before. About anything, but especially this. What does sorry even mean in this context? You didn’t do anything, are you sorry for asking? Do you…do you feel bad for him?

He swallows hard, “You’re sorry?”

“Yeah,” You say, furrowing your brow. “You’re a good person, Jay. You’re a really good person and…you didn’t deserve any of the shit that happened to you. Especially that. I hate that you’ve been through so much and I’m sorry.”

He refuses to blink but the tears are threatening to win anyways with nowhere else to go. 

He shakes his head weakly, “It was my own fault.” 

“Jason,” you say seriously. “It was not your fault. You were trying to help someone, weren’t you?”

It takes him a moment to respond to that. “I—yeah. Yes. My mom. My birth mom.” He takes a breath, “He, uh, he was blackmailing her and I tried to help her—I tried. But she gave me up to try and save herself…it didn’t matter in the end.”

While you didn’t know about the history with his birth mom, you’d been sure he’d died helping someone. That’s just who he is—whether he knows it or not.

“There was a bomb and it…” He lets that bit trail off. “I don’t remember the explosion. I think I passed out before it happened.”

He doesn’t remember the explosion. But…

He does remember the other part.

You have to drop your head into his neck so that he doesn’t see the way your eyes well up. 

“Please know you’re a good person. Please,” you plead. “You’re the best person I know.”

“But…” his breath comes out shaky, “No one…no one did anything.” 

The tears fall now, and in spite of the fact that he hasn’t let himself cry in front of anyone since he was ten, he doesn’t feel the usual burning impulse to hide. Not from you.

His voice breaks as he says, “He killed me and he didn’t…”

You sit up straight again and hold his face in your hands, looking him in the eye. “That’s not your fault. Whatever Bruce did or didn’t do, it has nothing to do with you. It’s all about him.”

You gently wipe his tears with your thumb as the weight of his head drops forward, leaving your touch the only thing holding him up.

You know he has…problems with Bruce. You know his death is a sore subject among them for more reasons than the obvious. You also know the Joker still lives and breathes today and there’s some sort of rule or agreement that Jason isn’t allowed out on patrol when he’s loose. 

There’s clear trust issues there, on both sides, but you’ve always had trouble figuring out what exactly Bruce had done to leave Jason so closed off. It pushed him away from his family and caused potentially irreparable scarring to his ability to trust other people. It actually makes a lot of sense that this is what caused the rift between them—you’d been thinking maybe Bruce was the reason Jason died or he couldn’t stop it, but this…this is a different kind of damaging. Fuck, no wonder Jason feels like he doesn’t belong in his family. 

You take a heavy breath, “You’re important. You’re important to me and whatever moral roadblocks Bruce couldn’t get over doesn’t change that—it has nothing to do with how good you are.” 

You’re definitely crying now but at this point it doesn’t matter. It’s more important for him to hear this than for you to pretend like this isn’t as horrible as it is.

He doesn’t look up at you but you can see his own tears dripping off his face. You don’t see him cry very much at all, and definitely not like this.

You sniffle, “Do you wanna switch?”

He nods against your palms and lets you out of his hold to sit up as he shifts lower on the bed and wraps his arms around your torso. You weave one of your hands in his hair and stroke softly. The other rubs soothing patterns on his back, feeling the heaviness of his breath under it.

You kiss the top of his head, “I love you. So much.”

He holds you tighter, murmuring “I love you,” into your chest.

It’s quiet for several minutes after as you both process the words said.

You’re the first to pipe up again, “How did…”

He exhales, “Ah…it’s a little complicated…”

He wants to talk about it another time. That’s fine by you.

Another silent minute passes before, “Bruce isn’t…he’s not a bad…we had a lot of problems after I came back. Both of us. Took a while to get over ‘em.” There’s a beat before, “Still getting over ‘em.” 

You nod, continuing tracing onto his back. His voice is clearer again, stronger.

“Is that why you don’t like being at the batcave?” you ask.

“No,” he murmurs. “It’s ‘cause he keeps the suit on display.”

You look down at him, frowning. “What suit?”

“The robin suit.”

You pause.

“That robin suit?”

He nods.

…what

for clarification bc i think i thought this was canon oh well

🔮🕯️the reblog witch bids you do her bidding 🕯️🔮

[zolass]

Lust and Envy Top Male Reader x Perv Male Best Friend Oc I don't know where I wanted to go with this but I'll probably drop a part 2 because I do have some ideas to continue ngl. Also I'm mostly experimenting with those TvT and yes they'll fuck bc I'll make em. content/warning: smut, p in v, does it count as dub-con?, cuckolding, protected sex, perverted best friend, toy and cum and lube, if there's more I'm sry.

1.6k words

You’ve been friends with Nathan for quite a few years, you also heard weird shit spewing from his lips or him asking you a few weirdish requests, yet never something remotely close to this.

“You want me to do what?” you asked in utter disbelief– he couldn’t possibly be serious. Your brows were furrowed together, your jaw working as you grind your teeth a bit in irritation. Nathan’s blue eyes looked slightly up at you, nervous at your reaction, “Well– I just want to see what it’s like to see–” your palm hit your forehead as your eyes closed and you counted down from ten, before you opened your eyes again. “Nathan sometimes I’m questioning why I’m still friends with you– fucking your girlfriend while you watch?” you repeated his request.

This was the with utmost certainty the stupidest thing your best friend ever requested. Nathan shrugged his shoulders, “You’re like the only one I could’ve asked–” “Nathan I’m not even interested in women like that, I wouldn’t even get a boner at seeing a pussy in front of me,” you said. Truth to be told, you did in fact already did something like this before– yet you were actually fucking the boyfriend while the girlfriend watched, to be fair you only did it after making sure you wouldn’t get any smoke from whatever might happen after the experience.

But with Nathan it was different, he wanted you to fuck his girlfriend, it wasn’t a random couple that you probably never see again, it’s someone,despite the many times you questioned yourself being friends with him, close to you. “What if you simply think it’s a guy– come on I’ll owe you one,” Nathan said, grabbing onto your arms while putting on the puppy eyes.

Closing your eyes, you sighed in defeat, “You look stupid with that look on your face,” you simply stated before opening your eyes and glancing down at Nathan, who had a goofy smile on his lips, “Where and when?” 

This was how you found yourself two days later on a saturday, early evening in your best friend's apartment. You stood in the bedroom with the couple, already naked. You looked at the woman standing across from you, before your eyes landed on Nathan who sat in a chair close to the bed, then back to Lexie.

Without a word, the woman kneeled in front of you and took your soft dick in her hands, giving it a few strokes while you tried really hard to imagine it was a guy. Already regretting saying yes, but Nathan this little fucker knew you rarely said no to any of his requests, but before Lexie could take your dick in your mouth you stopped her, “Let’s not– I’ll just do it or else it’ll probably stay limp for the rest of the night,” you said. The woman only glanced at you with a raised eyebrow before she shrugged and stood up.

You grabbed your dick and gave it a few strokes, added with a bit extra help of memories of your past hook-ups you got your cock to be semi-hard, you bit your lip as a grunt was about to leave you, before you opened your eyes and quickly grabbed the condom you took with you. As you glanced over to Nathan, you already saw he had his pants slightly shuffled down, and his dick hard against his stomach. 

Whatever flows one's boat.

You ripped the condom open with your teeth, before you made quick work on rolling it onto your length. The bed queked under the pressure of one person, as you looked over you saw Lexie’s ass facing you, so maybe she did know that you were gay or whatever, at least you didn’t have to see her face. When you took a few steps over to the bed, placing a hand on the curve of her ass, you lined up your cock up to her pussy before you pushed in you, trying your best to trick yourself that it was simply a guy. 

As you pushed in, you didn’t feel as much tightness as you thought, yet the moment her moan sounded, you grabbed her nape and pushed her face into the sheets before thrusting your entire length in. The muffled moan made it easier for you to forget that it was a woman, as you started to harshly thrust your hips while your eyes were squeezed shut. Small grunts started to erupt from you, as you picked up the pace, the light stimulation of the clenching while your mind was somewhere else helped quite well. 

It didn’t take long for a load moan to erupt from Lexie, as her body shuddered and her hole clenched around you as she came, you quickly pulled your dick out, even if you wore a condom, and all that her moans made it painfully obvious that she wasn’t a guy. “I’ll jerk off in the bathroom,” you spoke bluntly, before leaving the bedroom to go into the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

You didn’t want to be blue balled after all of this, so you took your hard cock in your hand and started to give it long strokes, before quickening the pace. Small groans left you, until you came in the condom. Resting your forehead against the cool wall, you shaky breaths as your orgasm welled down and the last spurt of cum landed in the condom before you pulled it off and tied a knot at the top and threw it in the bin. 

Before you tugged your cock back in, you cleaned yourself before stalking back to the bedroom where your pants, and other stuff was. As you walked inside the bedroom, you were rather expecting the two of them to go at it like jackrabbits, but both of them were in the same places they  were before you left the bedroom. 

Pursing your lips, feeling rather awkward and out of place now, you quickly put on your boxers, pants and shirt, before you grab all the necessities you brought wherever you go, you looked at your best friend, whose legs were spread with a white substance all over his shirt and stomach, you couldn’t help the slight snort escaping you gaining the attention of Nathan, “Seems like you really owe me one now, I’ll be going,” you said after putting on your shoes and ready to walk out, “Where’s the condom?” the stupid question came from your friend, to which you looked back at him with your eyebrows knitted together, “In the bin where the hell else?” “Oh–” a dumb smile formed on Nathan’s lips to which you only rolled your eyes, “Take care– both of you.”

With those words you were quickly out of the apartment on your way back home. Yea you were quite stupid for going along with your friend, a dry chuckle left you. Unknownst to you, it didn’t take long for Lexie to also leave her boyfriend’s apartment, saying something about a late ‘girl’s night weekend’, leaving Nathan alone.

Nathan had his head leaned back on the back of the seat, as he simply stared at the ceiling. He remembers clearly how you looked with your eyes closed, small grunts coming through your lips, a frown on your face as even with your eyes closed you seemed focused as you thrust your hips so vigorously. The loud clapping of skin hitting skin, had him wishing it was him underneath you instead of Lexie, just the thought alone of getting his asshole pounded into the mattress by you, had him climaxing.

Then he suddenly remembered the condom you had used, he bit his lip as he stood up before almost making a dash to the bathroom. As he looked into the bin, he saw the tied condom beside some papers you’d used, biting his lip he fished the condom out as he felt the blood rushing to his dick.

He swiftly walked out of the bathroom, to the kitchen in which he grabbed a pair of scissors, only to rush back into his bedroom to grab a box from underneath his bed, after he put the condom and scissors on the bed. Unlatching the handle and opening the top, only to reveal the pink dildo, which basically had the same size as your own.

Nathan bit his lip as he grabbed the dildo and put it on the bed, hastily undressing himself, he snatched the condom and the scissors before cutting the knot off and throwing the scissors into the box in which he hid the dildo. His hole clenched and unclenched in excitement while his cock was basically weeping, dirtying the sheets even further. Slowly he arched his back his ass sticking out, while he looked concentrated back as he slowly let a bit of the white liquid inside the condom drop onto his cheeks, feeling it run down his crack making his dick twitch, before he emptied the rest of your cum on the dildo lubing it up with it.

He couldn’t help but swallow as he simply threw the now almost empty condom somewhere, as he quickly grabbed onto the dildo, keeping it as steady as he could while he lined up his hole with the tip. Shaking with excitement, he basically plunged the entire length inside of his hole, like he did quite a few times before. Nathans back arched, as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and a loud shameless moan rippled from his throat.

The tip pressed right against his prostate, as a spurt of cum shot out of his tip. Not wasting any more time, Nathan started to ride the toy with eagerness imagining it was you, all the while the knowledge of using your cum as lube, thrilled him. He pulled one orgasm out after the other, just wishing it was you ruining him instead of a toy, until he passed out on the drenched sheets with the dildo lodged in his ass. 

Nathan didn’t know how long he could continue, until the greed ultimately got to him.

[brain4stew]

Sooo, I don’t write much for forsaken x reader, but a silly idea here from me, to other writers (possibly).

A reader that’s either sleepy 24/7 or could sleep 24/7, like a fucking hibernating bear.

• (In my case, it’d be both, so let me write for that rq.), (Only idea related, I guess??)

• If you’re a survivor, then damn, either you’re lucky to be the last one remaining, and the killer leaving you alone to win, due to you either sleeping, or being too sleepy to even stand. Or you could be unlucky as hell, and end up dead first, spotted first or attacked first.

• Other survivors worry about you dying first, or dying in general in rounds. (Especially Elliot, that guy gets some sort of heart attack.)

• Either you’re with a survivor you spawn together with, or you’re just, going to a corner of the map and just, either sitting there and wait the timer out, or you’re sleeping in the said corner.

• God forbid the killer is C00lkidd… He’ll probably go for you first, to “Get your energy back!” As he says it.

• On another note, if it is Mafioso, he’ll just scare and chase you in the dreamscapes… So you’ll basically have a nightmare of that.

• Thankfully, Jason, 1x1x1x1, John Doe, Azure, Noli and the other killers leave you be. (Maybe not 1x4 but… It’s possible they’ll leave you be.)

• If you’re a killer, then you’ll just be an event killer. You’ll spawn with another killer, and you’ll be able to either stand where you spawned, or sleep where you spawned. You’ll also be invincible for around 40 seconds within the start of the round. It could come back, but only if the killer companion of yours is close by you for 5 seconds.

• (It gives your fellow killer companion 20 more stamina, and gives survivors drowsiness 1 for the duration of the rounds you’re in it. Drowsiness means that the survivors visions will be outlined with a bit of black “smoke”, obscuring their visions. Not only that, but occasionally they will “blink” and yawn, which will be a problem for the survivors. If the survivor tends to yawn loudly, then your killer companion will be notified of the survivor.)

• Now, Mafioso paired with you, might be a very hard challenge for the survivors. For if you’re sleeping, or just staying by the killer spawn and probably fall asleep standing, Mafioso can actually get to where you are rather quickly. Thanks to the dreamscapes. (There’s a cooldown ofc, of 60 seconds.)

• Each survivor and killer have different opinions on you, whether you’re a killer or a survivor yourself. It varies on how it is to be around you, how you act and all of that.

• I have a feeling that the survivors do NOT trust you to be asleep, or even remotely close to Two Time, due to their past, and all that. The survivors might have a debate on whether they’ll allow 007n7 to be close to you or not however, due to his past actions.

• The killers all agree that 1x4, Mafioso and C00lkidd should NOT be near you. If you’re sleeping or not. Mainly because, 1x4 literally hates anyone and everything? Mafioso… Due to the dreamscapes and all of that… C00lkidd is pretty self explanatory. Hyper little kid.

• Jason, Azure and I think Guest 666 will be able to be around you, even if you’re asleep or just sleepy in general. Mainly because they won’t be too loud around you, and because they don’t do much, unless they’re in a round. (Jason legit can’t talk.)

• Out of every survivor, I’d assume that Taph, Dusekkar, Elliot, Guest 1337, Builderman and Noob will be the safest around you. Mainly Guest 1337 though, as he’s got quite high senses due to his past, and because he had to be on high alert for any enemies from war.

• Dusekkar would probably just put a noise canceling shield on you, so you’d be able to sleep without too much noise. Taph is naturally quiet, they only speak with emoji’s, so it’d probably be sign language. They’d also hold back on testing their subspace trip mine when you’re nearby.

• Noob would just be grateful that you even trust them enough to be sleepy, or even sleep near them. They feel like they have a “objective” to help you sleep. Elliot is also just glad you trust him enough to be sleepy or sleep around him, it also eases down his own stress levels.

• Builderman would make sure that you’re REALLY protected when you’re sleeping. He’d even build a sleeping dispenser nearby for you, quietly of course, just so you’ll get some ambience and fairly “fresh” air.

[sincerelybubbles]

hi!! i love the shy!reader x hotch fics, but i was wondering if you could do a completely opposite dynamic? where it's like a super flirty and playful reader who's goal is to try to fluster and get a reaction out of hotch? <33 feel free to ignore !!

cannon typical violence, mentions of blood, hospitals. not my best but it's something!! ty for the request <3

"Any chance to get your hands on me," you say, breathless, as Hotch presses the fabric of his jacket into the wound at your side.

He ignores you, shouting for a medic.

"Nothing to say, handsome?" Leaning back on your elbows, you watch as Hotch focuses entirely on the injury. Anything to distract against the pain would be welcome but you'd be lying if you said you'd ever abandoned any opportunity to fluster the man in front of you.

"I have plenty to say to you," Hotch says, voice low, peering up at you from under furrowed eyebrows, "starting either with personal safety or inappropriate conduct at work."

"Inappropriate? So you have noticed the flirting." You're starting to fade, the telltale signs of an impending faint thrumming in your numb fingers.

"Okay, save your breath," Hotch implores, hands pressing harder on the wound, shouting for help again.

You're sure the paramedic's are on their way, you watched Morgan slam the unsub to the ground moments before, and you're certain enough in your safety to chuckle and send a wink to him, "ah, got other plans for how I can waste it later?"

It doesn't even make total sense but Hotch chuckles, exasperated, still. Slowly shaking his head, he lets out a slow breath. "You're more trouble than you're worth."

"We both know you don't mean that." Pounding head, flashing lights (ambulance, maybe?), ringing ears. Yeah, you're going to pass out. Before you succumb, though, you reach forward to pat Hotch's cheek. "You care too much to mean it. And hey, handsome?"

Hotch hums, eyes blurring in your sightline and refusing to come back into focus. "Don't freak out."

---------

"Morning, sunshine." Hotch is reading in the chair next to your hospital bed, case files resting on his knee. The pain on your side is incessant, constant and unignorable.

"Don't freak out?" Hotch asks slowly, shutting the folder without looking at you. "A proper warning that you're feeling like you're going to pass out would be appreciated."

"It's okay, handsome, I'm good." Hiding a wince, you sit yourself up. "See, I was right, though."

"About?" Hotch asks, finally looking up to watch you at your movement. You can tell that he sees your pain so you talk quickly to cover it.

"You care! About little ole me, how flattering."

"Of course I do. Do you want me to call the nurse?" You feel out of breath, cramps between your ribs, white hot pain settling.

"And interrupt our alone time? Never."

"Stop doing that."

"Doing what?" You're distracted, banter subpar, as you struggle to maintain even breath.

"Hiding your pain."

"I'm not?" You pitch your voice up, questioning, attempting to trip him up so that he forgets his original argument.

"You are. I know you better than that - you're usually better at this," he gestures between the two of you, setting his case file on the table beside him and leaning forward, resting his forearms on his knees to get a better look at you.

"What're you talking about?"

"Come on," he sighs your name, shaking his head and frowning at you. "Let me call the nurse if it hurts, you should sleep more."

"Trying to get rid of me?" You ask, flashing the smile at him that you always use to disorient others. Wide, all teeth, wrinkled nose, distracting distracting distracting.

It usually works but Hotch looks past it, catching the way your eyebrows pinch in the center.

"I'm calling the nurse."

"Stop, no," you reach forward to snatch the remote before he can grab it. You don't want to sleep, you want to spend more time with him, you want to get out of this bed, you want to stop feeling helpless as soon as possible.

"Seriously?" Hotch asks, half standing, leaning over you now.

"Seriously. I'm good. Maybe you don't know me as well as you think." You're half teasing, hints of truth littered behind the words.

You feel that way, sometimes. You're always fast to hide behind a tease, a flirt, a well placed laugh. You're aware it's a defense mechanism - do your best to make them love you superficially, they can't see the dirtier parts of you and run. Fluster Hotch so he can't see your attraction to you and reject you quicker than you can catch hope.

Hotch raises an eyebrow, settling back in his seat. "You take two sugars in your tea unless people aren't watching, then you add a third. You always triple lock your car, too aware that it doesn't do any good - we've all seen how little it matters in the end. You sit next to Spencer when he sleeps on the plane to help him with his nightmares when he wakes up, you pack an extra banana for early mornings to give to Morgan - you actually hate them, you just pretend to help him. You're more than you give yourself credit for."

Blinking slowly, mind sluggish from pain medication, you watch Hotch, fully aware that maybe you've been watched more than you've realized.

Slowly, you pass him the remote, a silent omission of relenting.

Perhaps it won't be so bad to be seen.

[rosesnurhair]

soccer player ellie headcanons cus she's so cute and I feel like she'd play either soccer, rugby, or softball!

{cw: idk much abt soccer, mention of bruises, a bit of sub!top!ellie, switch!reader, not lots of dialogue, ellie begs to eat reader out, nsfw and sfw separated, cum eating, use of “mommy” ellies just a big loser fr..}

sfw:

loser!goalie!ellie who when she looks at the scoreboard and notices that the opposing team is winning, stomps her foot on the ground and crosses her arms angrily and childishly; a moment which you constantly laugh at.

loser!goalie!ellie who's the most determined goalie you've ever seen, no seriously, she'll literally throw herself in the air to make sure the ball never even remotely touches the net, which stresses you out completely.

loser!goalie!ellie who melts into your touch whenever you bandage her bruises and press soft kisses to her forehead. “els anyone with two eyes could've seen that the ball was no where near the net, there was no need to almost do a cartwheel and nearly break your leg” proper place name backstory special stuff... cus she's not listening, obv too focused on how pretty the worried expression on your face looks right now.. tilting her head in her hands and smiling away. ^_^

loser!goalie!ellie who’s the happiest person alive when you praise her because she yearns for your validation at all times so when you're watching her practice out on the field, running back towards you during breaks to ask “did y’see that, aren't I doing so much better than last practice, didn't even have to get in any insane positions this time to block the ball!” in which you reply “ I did, you're doin’ so well els!” after that with a wide smile she'll skip back to the field twirling her auburn locks through her pointer finger!

loser!goalie!ellie who's the giddiest person ever when her team wins, she'll jump around and scream on the field then basically pounce on you to give you the biggest hug ever with a “WE WONNNN” like you can't see the scoreboard for yourself.

➽──────────────❥➽──────────────❥

nsfw:

loser!goalie!ellie who's immediately on you when you both arrive home, her hands are on your hips grinding her knee into your clothed cunt, her tongue swallowing yours, exchanging spit in the sloppiest manner possible, she's moaning into your mouth like a slut, already completely wet just from kissing you.

loser!goalie!ellie who acts like you're the one to score the points for her, breathlessly you sigh out “els— baby—wait let me cook for you or somethin, after all it's your win” and of course she uses an excuse along the lines of “couldnt have done it without you now please let me show just how appreciative I am pleaseplease—” begging to you eat out like the whore she is.. but you let her of course !

loser!goalie!ellie who's eating it like her life depended on it, her short hair disheveled and messy as your fingers are tangled in it, pushing her face closer to your heat, head lolling back with your freehand grasping onto the soft pillows, a string of uhh's and ohh— fuck's leave your slightly parted lips.

loser!goalie!ellie who's obsessed with your scent and taste, she'll get off on eating you out, taking her middle finger and making small circles on her clit as she's fucking her tongue in and out of your seeping hole, licking long stripes from your hole to your clit, your legs trembling as they close around her head to grind against her tongue, shaky breaths leave your lips as you cum right in her mouth and of course ellie doesn't miss a drop.

loser!goalie!ellie who goes “mmm— taste so good fuckfuckfuck thank you mommy thank you—” as she cums on her own fingers whilst licking yours up. you prop yourself up to look at the mess she's making, grinding against her own fingers, and glossy lips, taking kitten licks at your puffy cunt.

“mm— made mommy feel so good, my turn to take care of my girl now, hmm?” you say happily wanting to return the favor, and of course... she lets you ! <3

idk that much ab soccer sorry^_^

[zuzu-tries-to-write]

How protective would he be?

Characters: Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku (Deku), Shoto Todoroki, Eijiro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari

Bakugo - 10/10

Bakugo is insanely protective. If anyone even looks at you wrong, he’s ready to throw hands. He walks on the side of the road closest to traffic, glares at anyone who tries to flirt with you, and makes it very clear that you’re his. He doesn’t trust people easily, so when he loves someone, he guards them. If you ever get hurt, he’ll blame himself and vow to never let it happen again. Even if you tell him you can handle yourself, he’ll still be hovering nearby, ready to step in at any second.

Izuku - 9.5/10

Izuku is extremely protective but in a softer way. He’s always watching out for you—whether it’s holding your hand in crowds so you don’t get separated, memorizing your favorite routes home to make sure they’re safe, or stepping in front of you if he senses danger. He’s more of a silent protector—he won’t always say it, but he’s constantly thinking about your safety. If you get hurt? He blames himself instantly and overanalyzes every way he could’ve prevented it.

Shoto - 8.5/10

Shoto isn’t aggressively protective, but he’s deeply protective. He doesn’t hover, but he’s always aware of his surroundings and knows exactly where you are at all times. If someone even slightly disrespects you, he shuts it down in the most cold and terrifying way possible. He trusts you to handle yourself but won’t hesitate to step in if things get serious. And if anyone dares lay a hand on you? They’re getting frozen solid without a second thought.

Kirishima - 9/10

Kirishima is protective, but in a warm and reassuring way. He wants you to feel safe with him. He’ll walk you home, check in on you constantly, and always be there if you need him. If someone tries to mess with you, he’s not the type to start a fight, but he will step in and stand between you and whoever’s bothering you. And if a fight does break out? He’ll take every hit for you without hesitation, all while grinning like it’s no big deal.

Denki - 6.5/10

Denki wants to be protective, but he’s not exactly intimidating. He’ll puff up his chest and be like, “Hey! Back off!” but if the person looks even remotely scary, he’s immediately backtracking. That being said, he’s still loyal—if you’re ever in trouble, he’ll jump in without thinking. He’s more of the distraction type; if someone shady is following you, he’ll loudly call your name and act like a fool to draw attention. It may not be the toughest protection, but his heart’s in the right place.