#(( the next chapter may be a bit delayed

[sylusxyou]

Hey God, it's me again /ref

Sylus with a reader that has family related trauma. More specifically trauma stemming from an abusive father and due to this they have a lot of trauma responses. Flinching at sudden movements, cowering and hiding when breaking something, frantically apologizing for every little mistake, crying very easily, the whole nine yards. And like these responses come way before Sylus even knows the story behind them

oh my lord... i'm so sorry this has taken me a while. i had no inspiration to write this week, but it finally hit me today. i'm realizing i struggle with requests a bit because once my brain gets started in a direction it's nearly impossible for me to veer it anywhere else... with that said, it may not be exactly what you were looking for but i hope it's close and that you enjoy! content warning: mentions of physical abuse (slapping/hitting), angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, non-mc!reader word count: 2.8k divider credit: @uzmacchiato

Memories of shattered glass, shouting that rumbled through your body, and stinging redness across your cheek flooded your mind. You looked down at pieces of a vase that you assumed was worth more than you’d make in the next 5 years combined. Maybe longer.

As a kid you had learned to reign in your clumsiness. You were always aware of your surroundings and you honed your reflexes to catch or swerve when the inevitable happened. Surely as an adult you should be able to avoid situations like this altogether. You had let your guard down though. You were careless. 

Sylus had invited you over for dinner. When you arrived, he was wrapping up a meeting in his office. Kieran and Luke had instructed you to wait for him in the living room. Luckily, you brought a book with you everywhere you went. Legs a little restless from the drive over, you decided to take a few laps around the living room while you dove into the next chapter. 

You weren’t paying attention and now you were frozen in place, eyes unable to move away from the damage you had done. How were you going to explain this to Sylus? ‘I’m sorry, I was walking around with my nose in a book an ran into the side table.’ What a pathetic excuse. You momentarily considered running off, driving back home, before you had to face him. That was out of the question though. He knew where you lived and surely wouldn’t let you off that easily. You’d have to face the music eventually. 

In the distance you heard the sound of a door opening and closing. Footsteps moved your way and you immediately recognized them. Sylus was coming. Anticipatory tears began to form in your eyes. You stayed in place, refusing to face him as you felt him enter the living room behind you. 

“Is everything okay, kitten? I thought I heard a crash.” His tone of concern only made your tears well up more. He thought you were hurt. The minute he saw what you did, that concern would be replaced with anger, maybe even rage. You were certain of it. 

Your voice was barely a whisper as you replied, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Sorry?” Sylus began walking towards you. “What are you sorry for?” 

He came to stand behind you, his chest not quite touching your back, but close enough that you could feel the heat of his body. Over your shoulder he peered down to the ground, the destruction glaring back at him. 

There was silence between you as Sylus grabbed your shoulders and began to turn you towards him. You wanted to resist, close your eyes shut, hang your head, whatever it took to avoid looking him in the eyes. To delay what you believed was inevitable. It was no use though. You knew it would be better to just accept whatever punishment was about to be bestowed upon you. 

That’s not right. When your eyes fell on his face there was a soft smile. Not the kind he wore when he was playing with his prey. This was the kind he gave you every day when he held your hand or brushed your hair behind your ear. It should have been darker. He should be upset. Maybe he’s lulling me into a false sense of security…

Sylus looked at the small tears falling from your eyes. He slowly reached out his hand to cup your face and brush one of the water droplets from your cheek with his thumb. “Now why are you crying over a broken vase?” 

“That vase probably cost more than my annual salary!” You gasped. 

He chuckled, “Oh, it absolutely did.” 

You looked at him like he was crazy which only made him laugh more. He pulled you into his arms, one hand wrapped around your waist and the other cradling your head. “I don’t care about some vase. Things are replaceable and replacing it wouldn’t even make a dent in my wallet.” 

Sylus pulled back to look into your eyes. “I was worried you had hurt yourself. You didn’t get cut by the glass, did you?” 

His eyes scanned your body as you shook your head. “No, I just wasn’t paying attention and ran into the table.” 

“That’s good.” He placed a soft kiss on your forehead. “Sweetie, you could burn down this entire place. As long as you emerged from the ashes unscathed, I’d consider nothing lost.”

Warmth rushed through your body. You felt your heart pounding in your chest. This was completely bizarre. You wanted to smile and laugh at the ridiculousness of what he said, to bathe in the words that he used to tell you he loved you without quite saying it. But you couldn’t. This reaction was so far from what you had experienced in the past. It was hard to believe someone could respond to broken property with anything but anger. You couldn’t shake your shock. 

Sylus furrowed his eyebrows as he searched your blank face. “What’s wrong, kitten? Are you sure you didn’t get hurt?” 

You shook your head. “No, I’m okay. I just expected you to be angry.” 

He smiled and leaned down to press a soft kiss on your lips. “I find it very difficult to be angry with you.” 

This made you smile, finally feeling like you could breathe a little. 

Sylus gently squeezed your shoulders and began to moved back. “I need to go finish this meeting but I’ll be out soon and we’ll have dinner. I’ll send Luke and Kieran to come clean this up. Don’t touch anything. I don’t want you getting cut.” 

You nodded and watched him walk out of the room. As you sat down to wait for Luke and Kieran your mind drifted back to the look in Sylus’ eyes. Hardly ever had you been met with such gentleness in your childhood. Years of being attacked and hurt over the smallest mistakes had made your walls impossibly high. The way Sylus treated you made you wonder if it was time to start knocking them down a few layers. 

Some days later you found yourself in Sylus’ kitchen locked in a staring match, stillness between you as hardly mixed batter dripped from his face down to his clothes.

You had been eager to bake him the new chocolate chip cookie recipe you found. He had insisted on helping you. It was his kitchen after all and you were powerless to resist him. You hadn’t wanted to anyway. There was a certain domesticity to baking cookies together that made your heart flutter. If only the shady criminals he did business with could see him like this. 

Sylus’ kitchen was stocked to the brim the state of the art appliances. You had been so eager to try them out, especially the electric mixer. You had to make due with a hand mixer at your apartment, so when Sylus pulled out his fancy mixer you actually squealed. 

After dumping all of the ingredients into the metal bowl you excitedly went to turn on the mixer. However, in your excitement you had failed to realize the difference between your hand mixer back home and the appliance in front of you now. At home you had to use the highest setting from the get go. Here, that was the completely wrong move. 

Sylus wasn’t able to stop you before the contents of the bowl went flying everywhere. You quickly turned the mixer off and looked at him, mouth agape. Both of you had been hit but he had gotten it much worse. 

Everything had gone quiet. His mouth was drawn into a tight line and the only movement from his was the rapid blinking of his eyes trying to see through the mess on his face. 

You began to stutter, “Sylus, I-I’m so sorry! I w-wasn’t thinking. I got too-“

He cleared his throat to cut you off. One of his hands wiped across his face, smearing the not-quite-batter onto his fingers. Suddenly his hand moved towards your face to seek it’s revenge. You quickly turned your head to the side and squeezed your eyes shut. 

It was an involuntary reaction, one that made Sylus pause. There was something off about the way you flinched as you turned away. You were afraid and he noticed. 

You hadn’t really thought Sylus was going to hit you. In fact, you were becoming increasingly certain with each passing day that he would rather condemn himself to hell than cause you any pain. You couldn’t help it, though. Sudden movements, especially towards your face, had historically meant one thing for you. It was engrained into your brain. 

When the sting never came, you slowly opened your eyes. Your heart sank when you saw the look on Sylus’ face. 

“Kitten��” his voice was soft and broken, garnet eyes glassy. He knew. 

You gave a pitiful laugh, “Sorry, I overreacted.” The sad excuse for a smile on your lips did nothing to defuse the tension.

“Stop.” His voice was stern, but filled with empathy. He grabbed your hands and pulled you to the kitchen table where you both sat. 

Sylus’ hands squeezed yours like letting go would be the most painful thing in the world. “Will you tell me about it?” 

Avoiding eye contact, you sighed, “I’ve never really told anyone before.” The soft brush of his thumbs across your knuckles kept you grounded. 

Talking about it scared you. It would make it too real and you’d much rather pretend like it never happened. But as you sat with Sylus, the man who you were growing to love beyond what you ever thought possible, you wondered if you had any other choice. If you continued to avoid it, were you really allowing yourself to be fully loved? 

Sylus wanted to know everything about you. It was easy to talk about your taste in music or tell stories of times you’d embarrassed yourself at work. Talking about things like your father and how he abused you, that was much harder. 

As you focused on the feeling of his hands, though, your courage rose bit by bit. When you finally made yourself look Sylus in the eyes, your heart squeezed. The man in front of you continuously surprised you the more you got to know him. He was equal parts strong and soft, dangerous and safe, relentless and patient. He was a man who teared up at the mere thought of someone intentionally hurting you. 

Sylus wanted to love you with everything he could. You wanted to let him. It would be difficult, maybe even painful, to relive the past with him. But you knew at the end of it all he would hold you and show you what it meant to be truly loved. 

“It was my father,” you began, “though he wasn’t always that way. My mom died when I was six and he couldn’t handle the grief.” 

You laughed, though it was devoid of any real humor, “It’s a pretty cliche story to be honest. Dad was buried in grief and started drinking. It was a slow progression, just yelling or telling me I was bother. He didn’t hit me for the first time until I was seven.” 

Sylus scooted his chair closer to you, legs resting on either side of your own. His grip on your hands never loosened and the look in his eyes was a swirl of fury and devastation. 

“Keep going,” he urged. 

You took a deep breath and continued, “I was helping him with the dishes. It was my job to dry them. Of course everything he handed to me was dripping wet. It was inevitable, I guess, that something would slip from my grasp. I shattered a mug. It was one of my mom’s favorites which meant my dad used it almost every day.” 

Your hands were shaking now, but you willed yourself to finish, “I knew he would be mad. By then I was used to being yelled at. What I didn’t expect was for him to slap me across the face. He started apologizing immediately, hugging me while I cried. He promised he would never hit me again. That was a promise he was never able to keep, no matter how many times he made it.” 

Sylus pulled you up from your seat by your hands and sat you across his lap. One of his hands grasped your waist tightly as the other laid in your lap, continuing its soothing strokes across your knuckles. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. I’m so sorry he ever laid his hands on you.” His voice cracked, the effort he was putting into not breaking down painfully obvious. 

You gently touched your forehead to his and smiled softly. “It’s nothing you need to be sorry for.  You have no fault in this.”

“Still, I-“ 

“It’s okay,” you reassured him as you pressed a finger into his lips, “it got better as I got older. Not because of anything he did. I was just able to learn what triggers to avoid, to get out of the house more, and he started to care less and less about where I was.”

Sylus shook his head. “I want to kill him.”

This made you laugh, “I’m afraid he beat you to it.” 

Sylus eyes widened and you let go of his hand to cup his cheek. “It wasn’t intentional. At least, the police didn’t think so. His drinking was out of control and by the time I was sixteen he had been heavy into drugs as well. I guess his carelessness caught up with him and what he mixed that day killed him.” 

Silence washed over the two of you again. For a few moments you just sat there together. The longer you stared into his eyes the harder it became to hold back the tears. You had tried to keep it light, to let the bitterness outweigh the hurt. But the way Sylus looked at you was disarming. He saw beyond the dark laughter and the emotionless retelling. He saw the pain that plagued you. 

He pulled you close and gently rocked you in his arms. Once the tears started it was difficult to make them stop. So you didn’t try. You let yourself come undone in the arms of the man you loved. Sylus didn’t ask anymore questions, didn’t urge you to continue speaking. He simply held you and whispered words of love and encouragement into your ear. 

‘It’s okay.’

‘I’ve got you.’

‘You’re safe with me.’

‘You’re so strong.’ 

It was hard to tell how much time had passed like this. Eventually the tears ran out and the air in the room felt less heavy. You pulled your face away from his chest, wiping the tears from your eyes. As you sniffled, you took a good look at Sylus’ face. A laugh began to rumble in your chest and, though you tried, you were unable to keep it from bursting from your mouth. 

Sylus look at you in surprise. “Did I miss something? What’s so funny?” 

“I’m sorry,” you giggled, “it’s just, I was so caught up in telling you my story and crying that I forgot.” You grabbed his face with both of your hands. “Your face is still a mess.” 

A wide grin spread across his face. “That’s right and I have you to blame, kitten. If I remember correctly I was just about to enact my revenge.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Mm, yes,” he hummed, “but before I get back to my plan, I need to clear something up.” Sylus leaned in so his face was inches from yours. 

His voice was barely a whisper as he asked, “You know I would never intentionally hurt you, right? Not emotionally and certainly not physically. I would rather die.” 

You gave him a quick peck on the lips and sighed, “I know that. I didn’t think you were actually going to hurt me. It was just an involuntary reaction.” 

“Good,” he replied, “we’ll work on that. But in the meantime…” 

His voice trailed off and the gentle, loving look in his eyes was replaced by something deeply mischievous. “You should run, kitten.”

As you and Sylus chased each other around his kitchen, cookie batter repurposed as a weapon, you felt a part of your heart begin to heal. It had been painful to relive the past, but you knew it was worth it. You were confident that before long, with time spent in Sylus’ warm and caring presence, you would stop expecting pain and start anticipating love.

[bonus-links]

Ahem, if I may impose.... Directors commentary?? 😁😁

YEAHHH lots to say abt this one

i know rule number one is don't point out the flaws in ur own work but i have to confess. i forgot to add hair highlights to this entire update. i didn't realize until i had already queued up the posts and i could not bear re-exporting and color correcting every page again. so i just let it be. it only kills me a little bit. they rlly add something y'know

i haven't seen a whole lot of comments about this to the point i worry i didn't do a good job of conveying it so: Loft's dream at the beginning is about ganondorf.

Loft has, in fact, chewed his nails to bits.

i'm gonna be so real, part of the delay for this update was bc my brain got so stuck on the logistics of where that damn bookshelf would go

korok bookends :D

i like to think the story of the hero of time is actually mostly an oral tradition on Outset, or at least that's how Gran Gran first told Link and Aryll the stories when they were children.

i worry a little bit about these 'lore recap" updates, bc like. I'm assuming you've played the games, or at least know the gist. but I feel like there's a few stories it's important for us to see Loft's direct reactions to, and the conclusions he draws from them, because it'll be important to his actions later. I try to make up for it by at least making these sections visually interesting HAHA i think this is the last major one though

on that note: I hope this comes across on its own, but Loft finishes Gran Gran's story himself because he's just realized the flood was sent by the gods, and not some external force of evil. he's also realizing that this is not the first time the gods have been willing to wipe the slate clean in the absence of a hero, and that it's actually something of a pattern. it runs up against his idea of how Demise's curse is meant to work. this is one such mystery mouseketool we'll use later.

also on that note: regardless of ganondorf's actions, i find it significant that the gods chose to destroy a man whose people suffered in a droughted desert with,,,,a flood. that thought was the conceit for this update

Loft has seen this play out in his dreams, but obviously doesn't fully know the context. also I'm gonna refer to this version of zelda as Sheik. he uses he/him pronouns thank you :-)

just wanted to show some closeups of the stained glass bc. i worked hard on them HAHA + the grayscale wip

i was really hoping this chapter would be done. last year. it was meant to be a chance to slow down for a second before the plot speeds up 😅 but we're nearing the last few updates!! thank you all for bearing with me <3 life has been kind of insane and extremely discouraging irl, so getting to post these updates and seeing you all enjoy them has been a real bright spot <333 special thank you to my patreon supporters bc. seriously it has helped more than you know.

i think that's all ive got for now! see you next time, hopefully sooner than 4-5 business months

[rose-maidenn]

Pick a card : Your 2025 , predictions based on each month

1-2

Hey guys how are you Happy New Year ＼(^-^)／ , I know I delayed a bit (^.^) for this one but hope you enjoy this , if you resonate like and reblog and gimme feedbacks cause that's what keeps me motivated to post 🫶🦢🩷✨️

If you do like my work and would want an in depth reading please check out my :

Masterlist

Paid readings

Pile 1 :

January

I see you starting the year kind of defeated by the previous year it was really hard and tiring for you and tested your faith a lot , you had to make hard choices, I see that you are stuck in a toxic situation or obsessing over something that doesn't serve you . I see that by middle of January it will get better , I do see turmoil in the start but breakthrough is near and it's for you . You will go out to picnics by the end , water bodies will help you , avoid fast food alrighty and make a vision board baby cause this is your year alright .

February

Like I said circumstances will improve I see a quick change of mood in February, is it your birth month ? Celebrations are around . You will feel protected in February things will feel sweeter . You will make a quick decision that will prove to be extremely beneficial for you this maybe about getting in a relationship or joining therapy as well . You might learn more about emotional regulation and heal your heart chakra . You will be grounded in your body and approach life with meaning .

March

There's stubborn energy in march , you are still Taking things slow and steady , the next chapter of your life is about freedom and not in the sense of travelling places alone but in a sense of freedom from other people's judgements and approval I see that you might have a rip off with someone or hear that someone is leaking information about you this might be a fire sign person who's jealous of you hermit for a while and then make a move , plan in silence and win.

April

Now that you have learned a minor lesson of detachment you have vigor and life again, you will seek new opportunities might get a new hobby as well maybe surfing or racing are you info F1 ? You will also get serious about studies some major exam is on the horizon. Nights in April are significant maybe you will do lot of late night studies or sneak out at night or night rides will make you so happy .

May

For may you are in a mood of enjoyment and happiness but remember to work hard there's tendency of you being too engrossed in enjoying that you forget that your labour is yet to be completed, focus on long term goals and possibilities. You might start visiting the temple more often. The person who was leaking info earlier is gonna miss you a lot in may they might even come back to talk ti you again but you're already done with them , you are in a mode of benevolence but yet you know your value well if they do disturb you too much do a cord cutting .

June

Now is the true time to enjoy your fruits of labour you had done in may , your success rate is high you're spiritually aware and emotionally well regulated, you will truly be happy I see reconciliation of someone you loved when you were young maybe a friend or teenage crush kinda vibe , through instagram or something. You are soaring high , your vibrations are too you're close to the sun and your thoughts will create your destiny so think positively.

July

July is also a positive fine with new opportunities and growth in the money sector of your life, if you have a new business idea or creative idea make sure that you invest in it , you will have more energy and vigor in this month but I see you being kind of lost if it's not well decided where you wanna move next so think before you leap work in the right direction and trust god . Also I see that a feminine figure most probably your aunt will get sick so take care of her if she's important to you.

August

August will focus on healing your old wounds , what have you ignored , if you do your healing well by doing shadow work you will get a breakthrough and live well by circumstance , might get a new house , I hear a moving house as well , you also might be s*xually active a lot during this time , Choose your partners wisely. This person might be an air sign . I see you might try to numb your pain but don't this healing will liberate you so choose this .

September

In September you're not giving a fuck about anyone , you're doing what you like how you like , leaving people and situations and praying a lot , I see some sadness about things left behind this could be stuff that didn't work out in business family or love , if it is the person mentioned in August then you can avoid the pain by being cautious and not attaching yourself by simple discernment I see 1111 , you can choose what you want to happen

October

October is literally like live through the pain moment 💀 I see a hike in finances but your mental health is detoriating you're staying alone , thinking too much and explaining too much , it's necessary that you give yourself a break here okay talk to a friend please please I beg because I see these great times for you which you may fail to recognize because you're too much in your head , it's really important to focus on you in October, mute the noise and focus on you . Eat dates , go to a date and save the date because you're a star.

November

Silent night holy night all is calm all is bright energy , this year Christmas is gonna be lit and you're preparing from November haha I see you getting advent calender ordering gifts for yourself and family . You're gonna be In a supernova mode excessive focus on your goals and you're like you will destroy anyone who will come in your way energy , you're protective and calm it's like you're a mafia boss observing your opponent and waiting for your minions to attack , lol you're gonna have fun in November a lot of funn.

December

December calls for a dark night of the soul heavy reflection on your year and the endings you have had this year , despite being scared you were strong and did what had to be done and you're proud of yourself by the middle of the month . I see you cooking a lot and going to shopping a lot mostly groceries you will be more confident and feel amazing in your body if you had a weight loss goal this year drumroll I see you meeting it . Love Love , you're doing great.

Pile 2 :

January :

Fire in your heart and clear vision is what you're going for in January , I see the circumstances might not be the most favourable but you're hopeful in the midst of a chaos, the happenings have made you instill a sense of balance within oneself and clear sight for what you truly want. You will be presented with a choice in January a choice of new life a new belief a new mindset and it will lead to great outcomes , I sense some modelling offer or working in corporate sector .

February:

The opportunities of January seem to be at full action in February you're more confident than ever , you're at eagle eye view towards the things that you want , your intuition is strong now you're observing the small details and working on them to correct them . Like posture, working on a project you really consider important. The advice is to lay on grass and watch the clouds it will give you comfort. Rest and relax and let universe prepare your auspicious way .

March :

Money is incoming in March, as March is actually the astrological new year I see that you will feel it more than the offers the weight of the time and you will look forward to everything, you're not afraid to work hard and you're really admired for those qualities. I see that you might have recovered from a breakup and now you're set on this path all over again , don't be scared the universe holds your hand , it won't set something in your path that you cannot handle.

April :

You will have ample resources in April to the point that you will become detached with money because you realise that there are much more things to life. You will be more spiritual and find fulfillment in your family and spend quality time with them , a kid maybe Born during this time or you might get pregnant so if you don't want that be safe . As for your love life I sense turbulence cause by old people so don't let the oldies in. Work on healing your sacral chakra in April.

May:

In May your love life seems great tbh , movie dates , colouring together , park dates etc a lot will be happening and it's nice to see . And I see in may you might become too detached with money you may feel drained so you catch up now , multiple investments Will be made by you . One of the sectors good for you will be wine , invest in a wine brewery or gold , both will work well. If you worship Lakshmi this is the month you get serious about her cause she's ready to bless you so so much .

June :

June is full of fun with friends but also a lot of endings due to arguments , make sure you more along with the right people and don't settle because in case you're you're moving with idiots they will exactly show you why they are an idiot , might make remarks on your body and make you feel insecure not recommended. I see your partner being supportive and helping you. Ground this June and wear red lipstick man it suits you so so much it drives your partner crazy .

July :

July is a state of recovery , some of you might have felt disconnected with your high-school friends so you seeked new friends or coworkers but this month you will understand that they love you so much and they're always here for you even if it seems hard at times . You will get flowers a lot , I see a guide being extremely protective about you will be an old spirit guide . If you're a saturnian Saturn will be kind to you and you will have the courage to face anything and everything. Your mindset is good .

August:

August is the month you fall in love with the aesthetic value of the things around you , you might go redecorating your entire room or house , tip you should get a gold vase it will be lucky for you I also see some hummingbird symbolism and bells definitely great for you . Your parents will come around and you will feel connected to them a lot. For some of you around this time you might get engaged . I hear San Paolo so omg excited for you .

September :

The energy is quite similar to August, you're just very very excited in September. Might get new shoes and watch old cartoons even do some repair work in your free time . Will come across a red car and would consider even buying a car. Spiritual advancement is also seen you might have started meditating in early July and September will be the month of effects heightened awareness seeks you now . Don't take any drugs okay I see some peer pressure coming in .

October :

444 on my time zone October will be a protected month or it could mean to up your protection game mann you need a sigil to help I do see a sigil it's circle kind of arrow like , kind of reminds me of the vikings. This pile also gives me Vasalisa vibes ( fairytale) . The fire of your heart burns greater than the fire around you're the tree of life and you're the disaster of it and rebuilding of it . Omg why am I writing this one so whimsically maybe that's how you feel very whimsical very witchy .

November :

You're gonna feel really cute first of all , drenched in kisses and you're gonna party Charli xcx style, your worries are lighter your heart is bigger tbh , attending concerts can be something you do or you might start liking a new artist I hear conan gray , suki Waterhouse tbh . A month of crafts as well , creating new things like bags and cards . You seem to be on a break from work in this month or just your work is comparatively easier so you're in a state of rest .

December :

You're in worship mode in December totally offerings and affirmations are your mantra . Your year was a total up down coaster man (*>∀<*) like it had a balance of everything fun and sadness but what remained consistent is the love , romantically this year will be better for you because you have learnt from your past relationship not to depend too much on your partner and it indeed is helping you keep this one and also your mental health . Take care love love to you.

Thanks for reading 🫶

[bytemee]

chapter seven. | WHERE DO YOU SLEEP? — yu jimin.

𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 — y/n, a rising music producer, has built her dream career while keeping her personal life under wraps. karina, aespa’s leader, is preparing for a huge comeback with a mini album produced and written by the one and only y/n.

karina knows this is the opportunity of a lifetime, and she has to nail it. the only problem is, she may be a bit distracted by her producer.

something about their connection feels different—like maybe it's worth the risk of prying eyes. but how much will they give up to chase after what they want?

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 — just really fluffy, they take a little risk, kissing, let me know if there's more!

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 — 4.1k

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲— they're so cute i love them

taglist (open) — @sunshinez4 @gtfoiydlyj @yuyuy90 @liaponderstings @rinapomu @bimkayd

series masterlist. main masterlist. prev. next.

again, the universe seems to be on jimin's side, as it's currently raining in la, meaning the shoot for the music video is delayed until the late evening. it's a small blessing, one that's welcomed by all, but most especially by the two of you. it means she and the entire group will have the day off, and the two of you can spend it together.

your first thought is to take her out somewhere nice, and you almost suggest the beach or the pier before realizing how stupid that would be. it's raining. instead, the two of you decide to cook breakfast together before deciding that later you're going to spend the rest of the day doing what you love most—binging netflix.

there's a sense of domesticity, cooking together, as if the two of you have been doing this for years. you move around the kitchen with ease, like two well-oiled machines. every so often, her arm brushes against yours, and she offers you a small, apologetic smile, but neither of you is really sorry. you don't mind the physical contact, the casual touches, the way her presence puts you at ease.

she wonders if you've ever thought of moving to korea. if you'd consider it.

it's crossed jimin's mind before. that you moving to korea would mean being closer to her and your grandma. that you could go from being an international artist to a soloist in korea without any dent to your career. she knows that there are a million different factors that go into that decision, but she can't help but hope that you'll at least consider it.

to imagine more moments like this, just the two of you. moments that aren't limited to a few days, weeks, or months. moments that could become routine, part of everyday life. she wants that so badly, more than anything, but it's a pipe dream, a fantasy. she can't ask that of you. she can't expect you to move to korea, especially since your entire career has taken place in the us. she's being selfish, and she knows it.

and maybe it's too early to bring up such a serious topic.

you're chopping some veggies, and she's scrambling eggs when she clears her throat, breaking the comfortable silence. "y/n."

"hmm?"

she doesn't answer right away, and for a moment, you're worried, but then she sighs, a hint of a smile playing at her lips. "can i ask you something?"

you glance up, a curious expression on your face. "mhm."

"do you wanna go out tonight?"

you blink, caught off guard by the question. "go out?"

"yeah," she says, setting the spatula down and leaning against the counter. she takes in the sight of you, a faint blush coloring her cheeks, and bites her lip, considering her next words carefully. "like… dinner. somewhere nice. just us."

for a moment, you're quiet, processing her words. it's not that the idea of going out with her feels odd—it doesn't. the two of you have shared countless meals together at cozy cafes, diners, and restaurants, and those moments have always been a lot of fun. but those outings could easily pass as casual, as something platonic to anyone watching. besides, you've always gone out in disguises, hiding behind caps, masks, and oversized hoodies.

you've worked so hard to keep your personal life yours. after everything—your career, your family, your past relationships—you've learned how important it is to keep certain pieces of yourself guarded.

but then there's jimin, standing across from you, looking at you like she's waiting for the ground to swallow her up because you still haven't said anything.

and suddenly, all those reasons to stay quiet feel like excuses.

"won't that… i don't know, get us caught?" you finally say, the words leaving your mouth slowly, cautiously.

her expression falters for just a second before she shrugs, a small, almost defiant smile tugging at her lips. "maybe. but maybe not. maybe, if we're lucky, no one will even notice. or maybe they will, but who cares?"

"jimin…"

she shakes her head before you can finish, pushing off the counter and moving closer, close enough that she has to tilt her head up slightly to meet your eyes. "i'm serious, y/n. i know we've been careful so far, and it's been great. but… don't you want to stop hiding? just for one night? don't you want to just be able to sit across from me and hold my hand and talk without worrying about anyone catching us? doesn't that sound nice?"

the thought of it—of sitting across from her in a restaurant, a normal, unbothered, romantic restaurant, the two of you dressed up, your eyes only on each other, not caring who sees, not worrying about the consequences—it makes your heart swell. to hold her hand in public, to laugh too loud at a joke she tells over dinner without worrying who might be watching.

you want it. you do. so badly.

but why risk something so perfect and pure for a fleeting moment of freedom? what if it all goes wrong?

"i don't know, jimin. are you sure? we could just go somewhere else, somewhere—"

"somewhere with masks and hats and sweatshirts, yeah," she says, an edge to her tone.

you frown, feeling your own frustration building.

"we always do that. i don't want to. for once, i want it to just be the two of us."

"but—"

"please, y/n. don't you want to see me dressed up?" she asks, a hint of teasing in her voice.

you stare at her, words caught in your throat. of course you do. who wouldn't? but the risk…

"if it makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to. but i think it'll be worth it."

"okay," you murmur, barely audible.

her brows lift, her lips parting slightly. "okay?"

you take a deep breath and try again, this time louder, steadier. "okay. let's do it."

the smile that spreads across her face is so bright it almost makes you forget why you were hesitating in the first place. almost.

her excitement is contagious, though, and when she steps forward to loop her arms around your neck, a giddy feeling blooms in your chest. she leans up on her tiptoes and presses a quick kiss to your lips before pulling back, her hands slipping down to your shoulders.

"okay," she echoes, her eyes glittering.

"i just hope i won't embarrass you," you joke, earning an eye roll from her.

"trust me, there's nothing embarrassing about you." she says, a playful glint in her eyes.

"that's debatable." you grin, kissing her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then her lips.

her giggle is muffled by your lips, but her grip on your shirt tightens, keeping you in place.

your doorbell rings, and you raise an eyebrow, confused. you're not expecting anyone. you let go of her, stepping aside, and cautiously make your way to the door, wondering who could be interrupting this early.

jimin turns her focus back to the stove. it smells amazing.

"you've got to be kidding me!" you yell from the entryway.

her head snaps up, her eyes widening in surprise; for a moment, panic surges—who's at the door? what happened? but before she can move, she hears footsteps and sees you returning to the kitchen, practically dragging a man in a headlock.

"ah! y/n…s..top! i can't breathe!" he exclaims, and it's not until you hear his voice that she recognizes him. it's jamie, your manager, who's currently being held hostage by you. he hits your arm, trying to break free, but you only tighten your grip, an annoyed expression on your face.

"what the hell are you doing here?" you demand, and he groans, struggling against your hold.

"i need you to sign some papers," he says, his words muffled as you tighten your hold on his neck.

"no. now go away."

he manages to break free, and he staggers back, gasping for air, his hands on his knees. "jesus, y/n. can't you give me a break?"

"i'm on vacation, remember?" you remind him.

he sighs, standing up straight and straightening his shirt. "i know, and i'm sorry. it's just—" then he glances around, and the moment his eyes land on jimin, he freezes. "k-karina?"

she waves, giving him a shy smile. he's completely frozen in shock, his mouth hanging open. jamie's gaze darts between the two of you—the sight of your clothes on her body, the breakfast, the casualness of the entire situation.

"hi," she greets him with a small wave, her cheeks tinted pink.

"hi," he repeats, his voice strained.

he presses his lips together, humming a familiar tune under his breath as if trying to block out whatever he's thinking. you and jimin exchange a look, both fighting the urge to laugh. jamie, however, seems determined to play it cool, though his attempts are anything but subtle. he takes a deep breath, pulling out a folder from his bag and holding it out to you.

"here," he says, "these need your signature. i would've emailed, but—"

"you know i don't check emails," you cut him off, and he lets out a long-suffering sigh.

"exactly. and your phone's been going straight to voicemail."

"oh…" you frown, glancing at the stairs. "it's probably dead. be right back."

you dart off, sliding across the wood floor in your socks as you head to your room. jamie watches you disappear, then turns to jimin, who's trying her best to focus on plating the eggs but is clearly dying of embarrassment.

"so," he starts, his voice low but not unfriendly. "how long has this been a thing?"

jimin stiffens, her hands stilling for a moment before she sets the spatula down and turns to him. "um… for a bit," she admits, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

jamie hums, nodding. he takes a few steps closer, leaning against the counter and folding his arms over his chest. jamie hums, nodding. he takes a few steps closer, leaning against the counter and folding his arms over his chest.

"look," he says, his tone softening. "y/n's like a little sister to me. and she's…"

he pauses, choosing his words carefully. "she's an emotional kid. not in a bad way," he adds quickly, seeing jimin's expression shift. "she's just…she can be a lot to handle sometimes. it's just her nature. she feels everything so deeply. and that's great for her music, but in her personal life? it can be a lot."

jimin nods slowly, unsure of where he's going with this.

"she's been through so much," jamie continues. "she never really got to be a kid, y'know? always working, always under pressure. she's finally allowing herself to have some fun. and i'm glad. she deserves it."

jimin swallows thickly, her heart pounding in her chest. "so…what are you saying?" she says quietly. it feels like she's being lectured by a parent. a parent whose daughter is dating a bad influence.

"look, i'm not saying this to scare you off," jamie says, his voice gentle. "i just…i need to know you're serious. because the last thing she needs right now, in the middle of working on her album, is something she can't handle."

"i am serious," she says softly. "i care about her. a lot."

jamie studies her for a moment, then nods, seemingly satisfied. "alright," he says, pushing off the counter. "i'll take your word for it. for now."

before jimin can respond, you come barreling back into the kitchen, your phone in hand. "it was dead," you announce, waving it in the air. "happy now?"

jamie smirks, holding out the folder again. "ecstatic. now, sign these so i can leave you two lovebirds alone."

you groan, snatching the folder from him and shooting him a glare. "you're the worst." you sit at the kitchen island flipping through the papers, skimming over them. most of it is just legal stuff, terms and conditions for upcoming projects. you skim over the pages, signing and dating where needed.

"and yet, you'd be lost without me," he shoots back, a smug grin on his face.

jimin laughs quietly, the tension in her chest easing as she watches the two of you bicker. despite his earlier words, it's clear jamie cares deeply for you, and she can't help but feel grateful for that.

as she watches you argue, her mind wanders, and her smile fades. does everyone think that about you? that you're some fragile little girl who can't handle a relationship?

you glance at her, noticing her pensive expression, and immediately, your irritation dissipates. your brow furrows, and you shoot her a concerned look, which only makes her look away, embarrassed.

"alright," jamie sighs, taking the folder from you and flipping it closed. "i should get going. i'm sure you two have… plans. he wiggles his eyebrows, earning a glare from you.

"get out," you huff, but there's no bite to your words.

"see you soon, y/n," he says, giving you a wave. "it was nice seeing you again, karina."

she gives him a small smile. "you too."

with that, he turns and heads for the front door, his footsteps echoing as he makes his way through the house. once he's gone, the two of you turn to each other, an awkward silence settling between you.

"i'm sorry about him," you say, breaking the silence first. "he can be a bit much."

she shakes her head, laughing softly. "it's okay. i know he's just looking out for you."

"yeah, but still," you mutter, frowning. "i just hate that people feel the need to meddle," you continue, running a hand through your hair, frustrated. "i'm fine. i can handle myself."

jimin watches you carefully, her eyes softening. "i know you can," she says, her voice gentle. "but i also know how much pressure you put on yourself. and i just… i want to make sure you're okay, y/n."

your heart clenches, and you swallow hard, the lump in your throat refusing to budge. the fact that she's worried about you, the fact that she's putting your well-being above everything else, it's… it's more than you could've asked for.

"i am," you finally say, clearing your throat. "really. i'm fine."

she smiles, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she reaches for you. her hand finds yours, her fingers intertwining with yours.

after breakfast, jimin decided it'd be best for her to check on her members before your plans later that evening. you watched her gather her things, her delicate fingers brushing through her hair as she hummed softly. before she left, she leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, a small smile playing at her lips.

"i'll see you tonight."

you waved goodbye to her, and before the door even closed, a warmth spread through you. it was a feeling you had grown accustomed to, a feeling that only grew the more you got to know her. a feeling that was becoming more and more familiar the more time you spent together. a feeling that, in spite of everything, seemed to be getting stronger.

and then, when the time finally came, the two of you made your way down the streets of los angeles, the evening sun setting over the city. it was a short drive from your home to the restaurant, the two of you sitting comfortably in the backseat while your driver navigated the evening traffic. occasionally, your eyes would meet, and the shy smiles that followed betrayed just how nervous yet exhilarated you both were.

the restaurant itself was tucked away, the entrance hidden among a row of shops and restaurants. as your car pulled up, a valet opened the door, and you and jimin exited the vehicle. as you stood there, her hand wrapped around your elbow, the two of you looked at each other, both smiling at how perfect the night was.

you led her inside, her arm still hooked in yours, and you were immediately greeted by a host, who promptly guided you to a secluded table in the back of the restaurant. it was a private space, one that afforded you both the luxury of not having to hide.

"you're ordering for the both of us," you said with a sly grin, not looking up from the menu.

her eyes widened. "me? why me?"

"because," you shrugged, "you're the guest, which means you get the honor of ordering. plus, your english is good. don't act like it's not."

she narrowed her eyes, clutching the menu as if it might shield her from your teasing. "i hate you," she muttered under her breath, her voice barely audible but still eliciting a laugh from you. she raised her fist in a half-hearted threat but quickly put it down when the waiter appeared, a friendly smile on his face.

jimin glanced over the menu, her brows furrowed in concentration as she took her time deciding. she ordered two dishes—one a pasta dish and the other a seafood soup—both of which sounded amazing. she kept glancing at you between sentences, like she was checking if she was doing okay, and every time, you gave her a little smile to let her know she was.

she handled it perfectly—not that you expected anything less—and when the waiter left, you couldn't hide the proud grin on your face.

"you nailed it," you said casually, and she just gave a small shrug, but you could tell she was pleased with herself.

from there, the night flowed so easily it almost felt unreal. the appetizers came out, and before you knew it, you were both sharing stories, laughing over little things, and swapping bites of food like it was the most natural thing in the world. you didn't have to worry about who was listening or what anyone thought—it was just the two of you, and that was all you needed.

"oh my god," she exclaimed, her mouth full of food, her cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk.

you couldn't help but laugh, feeling that flutter in your chest that always seemed to happen when she was around. you had been in the middle of telling a funny story, but as you watched her, the punchline completely slipped your mind.

her laugh filled the quiet space of the restaurant, the sound light and infectious. it made her throw her head back just a little, her eyes crinkling in that adorable way you loved. the smile on her face was so contagious you couldn't stop yourself from grinning too.

and then there was the way she looked at you—like you were the only person in the world, like whatever you were saying was the most important thing she'd ever heard, even if it wasn't.

you tried to keep going, taking a sip of water to clear your head, but your words started to blur together. she was still staring at you, her lips curling into that lopsided grin of hers.

as the night went on and the restaurant quieted down, the two of you found yourselves at the bar, nursing cocktails neither of you had ordered but happily accepted because they looked pretty. it was a cozy little bar, dimly lit with soft music playing in the background. jimin stood beside you, her fingers brushing absentmindedly against the edge of the counter.

neither of you were drunk—just a little tipsy, a warm buzz spreading through you. the atmosphere was calm, relaxed. the bartender kept an eye on you two but didn't interrupt, letting you enjoy your space.

it was nice. soothing, even.

you sat there, watching her with a smile tugging at your lips. you loved seeing her like this, relaxed and being herself, not performing or trying to impress anyone. she wasn't trying to be anything she wasn't. you loved the way her hair fell over her shoulder and how she kept running her fingers through it, the little things that made her, well, her.

she looked like she was about to say something, but instead, she took a step closer to you, wrapping her arms around your shoulders, pulling you in. slowly, almost hesitantly, she leaned down and kissed you softly on the lips. the sweet taste of the cocktail lingered on her tongue, and when her lips parted against yours, it felt like everything around you faded away.

the only thing that mattered was her, the taste of her, and the warmth of her breath on your skin.

she pulled away first, her eyes meeting yours, and she smiled. the way her eyes sparkled made it clear she knew exactly how you felt—because you were thinking the same thing.

the night went on, and the city outside continued to hum, but the two of you stayed wrapped in your own little bubble, where nothing else seemed to matter but the magic of the moment.

eventually, the night came to an end, and the two of you walked back to the car, hand in hand. the soft glow of the streetlights reflected off the wet pavement, the rain now just a drizzle. the streets were nearly empty, the nightlife long gone.

it was a rare quiet moment—just the two of you, no cameras, no crowds, no distractions. the rain had slowed to a light mist, and the clouds had parted enough for the moon to peek out, casting a faint silver light on the sidewalk.

you were lost in your thoughts, replaying the night in your head. your heart felt lighter, the weight of the day gone, replaced with a calmness you hadn't expected.

jimin squeezed your hand, snapping you out of it.

you turned to look at her, the light casting shadows across her face, and she was glowing. her eyes sparkled, and there was this soft, content smile on her lips. she was radiant, and in that moment, you couldn't help but think how lucky you were to be with her.

she was so beautiful, almost ethereal, like you were walking beside a goddess.

"penny for your thoughts?" she asked, her voice soft, almost a whisper.

you smiled, your heart skipping a beat. "just thinking about you."

"is that so?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, amused.

you nodded, not even trying to hide the grin on your face. "mhm."

she waited for you to say more, and though you wanted to stay quiet and savor the simplicity of the night, you couldn't resist.

"i was just thinking about how lucky i am. to be here with you, walking like this."

she blushed, looking away for a second.

"and," you added, taking a deep breath, "how lucky i am that you came into my life. i didn't think i could feel this happy again."

her cheeks turned even redder, and she reached for your hand, lacing her fingers with yours.

"i'm the lucky one," she said quietly, her voice barely audible, the faintest smile pulling at her lips.

"we'll have to agree to disagree," you replied, squeezing her hand, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence.

the car pulled up, and the driver jumped out, opening the door for both of you.

on the ride back to the hotel, you were both laughing, and the whole time, you were acutely aware of how close jimin was to you. her head rested on your shoulder, her arm around yours, her fingers tracing gentle circles on your forearm.

when the car pulled up to the hotel, the two of you didn't move, and the driver cleared his throat, a hint of amusement in his voice. "we're here."

reluctantly, she pulled away from you a pout on her lips, and you chuckled, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. her eyes fluttered closed, and her nose scrunched up as if she were trying not to laugh. you couldn't help but think about how cute she was.

slowly, she opened her eyes, a small, shy smile on her lips.

"thanks," she murmured, her cheeks flushed.

"always," you replied, the word slipping out before you could stop it.

her smile widened, and she pressed a kiss to your lips, her hands resting gently on either side of your face. it was quick, soft, and tender, and it left your lips tingling. and when she pulled away, she pressed her lips to your again, and again, and again.

you giggled, breaking the kiss. "alright, alright. you need to get some sleep."

she sighed, but there was a playfulness in her eyes, the corners of her mouth curling upwards.

"you're right," she said, reaching for the door handle, the door swinging open. you continued watching her as she stepped out of the car, the cool night air making her hair flutter slightly. she turned back, giving you one last smile before she started walking toward the hotel entrance.

your chest tightened a little, not wanting the moment to end just yet. before you could fully process the thought, you rolled down the window on the other side of the car.

"jimin," you called softly.

she stopped immediately and turned around and without hesitation, she jogged back to the car. her hands found your face again, and she leaned in, pressing another kiss to your lips. this one was longer as if she were trying to capture the feeling of the night and keep it forever.

"i'll call you later, okay?"

you nodded, leaning into her touch, a small sigh escaping your lips.

"okay," she said softly, her eyes lingering on yours.

"bye."

you smiled, and her hand fell from your face as she turned to walk back toward the hotel.

"goodnight, y/n," she called over her shoulder.

"night, love."

series masterlist. main masterlist. prev. next.

[feelbokkie]

L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 30

WARNINGS: swearing, mention of childhood trauma and abandoment

PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader

GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff

P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?

TAGLIST: ♡PENED

W♡RD C♡UNT: 7,260 (i am so sorry)

SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 2

A/N: i am so very sorry for the delay. hopefully the wait was worth it

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

"You know it's supposed to be in the 100s today, right?" Changbin sighs as he flops down onto the couch in front of you. "You're actually going to die from overheating if you go out like that."

You set the iced coffee you're drinking back onto the table and resume scanning the test shots you took of him earlier. Chan sits behind the two of you as the hair stylist finishes fixing his hair. Music plays through someone's phone as everyone else around you cleans up their mess.

The room you're in is one of the spare rooms used specifically to hold the group's concert outfits and whatever they're required to wear for individual schedules. In moments like this, the room doubles as a dressing room when someone has a schedule that requires them to be ready before they leave the hotel.

You woke up late, having missed your first two alarms so that you could join Chan and Changbin for breakfast. By the time you finished getting ready, you had to meet them in the room to take test shots and make sure their overall appearance matched the overall theme of the shoot. Not wanting to delay the day any more than you already did, you were planning on grabbing a piece of fruit from the hotel's complimentary breakfast on your way out only to be met with a muffin and iced coffee when you walked into the makeshift dressing room.

"It's cold right now. I'll take my jacket off later when it starts to warm up." You let out a low sigh before setting your camera aside and resuming your breakfast.

According to your weather app, it's supposed to be the hottest day of the week. You're skeptical given how cold and gloomy it is currently. It almost looks like it might rain any second now. Even if it does get hot later, you're hoping it after you've finished working for the day. You may be able to survive the heat but your camera most likely won't.

"Yeah, but you're wearing all black. That's going to attract heat. You're wearing an oven."

The oven in question is a zip-up hoodie two sizes too big draped over a black tee shirt that's closer to your actual size but still a bit looser around your frame. To top off your monochrome outfit, you're wearing baggy cargo pants and the hat Changbin bought for you. It's a stark contrast from his outfit, a slightly oversized tee shirt with a random faded beach designed with the sleeves and sides cut off into a muscle shirt paired with a pair of baggy ripped blue jeans. You almost want to tell him to bring a jacket just in case.

It's overkill, you'll agree with that. But it hides your figure well while you're out in public. It worked well during the airport trip out of Seattle. Not a single photo of you appeared online and there were even whispers of you being fired from the staff when fans couldn't find you. Having the kids call you 'hyung' helped sell the allusion as well.

“You know you don’t have to do all that anymore, right? They moved on,”

Just as suddenly an earthquake can destroy the foundation of someone’s home, your scandal with Hyunjin did its best to wreak yours. The subsequent and frequent aftershocks made it feel like another one was coming to reduce the rubble to dust. And while a “big one” did come the seismic plates shifted elsewhere leaving a more devastating catastrophe. A new scandal, one much more riveting than an alleged relationship between an idol and their staff member, had captured everyone’s attention.

Someone from a junior group who had just barely gotten out of their rookie period had gotten a girl pregnant.

A bigger quake, one with far more casualties, took the interest of the netizens that circled over you like vultures and they flew off to feed on a more appetizing meal. Leaving you lying in the rubble and staring at the sky as you waited for another aftershock.

“Noona,” Changbin calls softly as he waves a hand in front of your face.

You clear your throat and set the muffin back down. “It’s hyung today, remember?”

A smile slowly creeps onto Changbin's face as he glances over you. “You don’t look like a hyung.”

“Oh?” You clap your hands together to get rid of the remaining crumbs before reaching back to hide any pieces of your hair from sticking out. You fully zip up the hoodie and fluff it out. You pull the brim of the bucket hat down to cover most of your face. “How about now?”

Changbin pauses for a moment before reaching his hand out to brush off a bit of muffin your chin. The sudden touch catches you by surprise. Another pause as he thinks for a second, his hand still on your face. Finally, he pulls his hand away and leans back in his seat. “Too pretty,”

“You do realize what industry you work in, right? Men can be and are pretty.” You say almost too quickly. The room suddenly feels hotter than you know it's been the entire morning. You clear your throat and pick up your iced coffee, pausing for a moment as you bring it to your mouth. You take a quick sip and look off to the side at nothing before adding, “Go look in that mirror over there.”

After a moment of silence, you flip up the brim of your hat so you can see again as you continue drinking. You sit there quietly as Changbin stares at you. The tips of his ears are alarmingly red and the blush on his cheeks is a bit darker than you remember seeing earlier. The corners of his mouth twitch as he tries, and fails, to contain the smile that is quickly taking over his face. “W-well, t-t-that’s not…not what I—“

“Do I look okay?” Chan asks as he walks up behind you, oblivious to the conversation the two of you are having.

You shift your attention to Chan and give him a once-over. He fixes a rogue strand of hair, moving it off of his forehead and into the waterfall of curls leading to the end of his small mullet. He's wearing a faded tight-fitting ringer tee with baggy blue jeans hanging off his waist, just the smallest sliver of his midriff poking through the gap between his shirt and pants. But the second he raises his arms, you know his shirt is going to expose more. "Are you comfortable wearing that?"

"Yes," He nods with a sort of derpy smile.

“Then you look good. Let me take some test shots of you before we go. Go by the window, please.”

“Okay,” Chan says eagerly in a small, almost child-like, voice as he walks over to the large window. The room is far enough away from the ground floor to worry about the windows being open and fans peeking through.

You take a few quick pictures, only using the light from the window to mimic the conditions you're about to work in. After a few solo shots of Chan, you call Changbin over to stand next to him so that you can make sure they look good together. After a few more shots, you go to the gallery and check the images, making sure you don't have to send either one of them back to the makeup chair. Both Chan and Changbin walk over to you and try to look too. Chan stands across from you, looking at the pictures of himself upside down. Changbin comes up behind you, looking at the camera from over your shoulder. The room is suddenly hot again.

"We're good," You quickly shut off your camera and head back to the table to pack everything away again. "Let's go,"

***

You should have known better to trust the weather app. You should have listened to Changbin, not that he was correct either. Not entirely anyway.

It's not in the hundreds, but the high nineties might as well be. The breeze that occasionally blows through is more like the air that comes out from the exhaust of a car than the expected cool and refreshing summer breeze.

You sent Chan and Changbin off to go take selfies for inclusions while you sit off in the shade of a tree fanning your camera with your bucket hat at a nearby park. It overheated while you were taking a duo picture of Chan and Changbin at the beach. Annoyingly, it shut off right before you could take a picture of Changbin chasing Chan holding a stick with a bit of seaweed hanging off of it. Or rather, you hit the shutter, and then it shut off. Hopefully, if there was ever a moment for luck or god or whatever to be on your side, the picture got captured before the camera shut off.

"Is it working now, noona?" Changbin plops himself beside you on the grass.

You let out an annoyed sigh at Changbin refusing to help with your cover by calling you 'hyung.' It's one of the main issues of the day with him. At first, when you took pictures of them while you were out in the street or in other parts of the city, it was fine because most people were still in their homes. But as the day drags on, there are more opportunities for them to get spotted, only adding to your stress.

"Did you finish taking those selcas I asked for, Changbin-ssi?" You ignore his question while you try turning your camera on again.

"Yes,"

"Did you send them to me?"

"Yes,"

"Alright," Once the camera turns on, you turn it off again and get up from the grass. "Let's go find Chan and shoot somewhere else."

You grab your jacket from the grass, quickly shaking it off and checking each part of it. While you're busy making sure your jacket is free from grass stains, Changbin wastes no time grabbing your camera and camera bag. "About that...how about we go somewhere indoors for a while. We can cool down and not worry about your camera. There's an arcade near here that's pretty much empty and it looks nice inside."

"Did you go off wandering by yourself when were supposed to be working?" Now clean, you tie your jacket around your waist as you look up at Changbin. Strands of his hair from his curtain bangs are now sticking to his forehead. Before you do anything, you're going to have to let the makeup artist fix him up again. Luckily for you, they promised they would stay nearby just in case.

"I was working," You go to reach to take your things from Changbin just for him to sling them over his shoulder. "I just happened to find the arcade while I was walking. It's pretty cool in there too."

You try to take your things again but Changbin takes a half step back. Frustrated, you scratch the back of your head with one hand and rest the other one on your hip. "We have to get permission to take pictures in there. Did you even ask?"

A blank expression flashes across Changbin's face as he thinks for a moment.

"That's what I thought," You mutter to yourself.

"There you two are!" Chan calls from behind you. Both you and Changbin turn around to find the leader jogging towards you with a small plastic bag hanging from his arm and three cups in his hands.

"Did both of you go on side quests?" You scoff in disbelief, an amused smile creeping on your face.

"I was walking back and I saw a fruit stand...Sorry, the pineapple got me." Chan gives you a shy smile before handing you a pink drink. "It's strawberry lemonade. Fruit is good for you when it's hot like this."

Defeated, you take the strawberry lemonade and walk over to the picnic tables in the corner of the park. Chan and Changbin follow behind you, animatedly talking about something you can't hear. You shove your hat back on your head as you sit down on the bench. You're more exposed now and there's no way someone isn't going to recognize the loud pair.

"What were you two talking about?" Chan asks when he reaches the table. He places the bag and the last cup in his hand on the table. Changbin has the other one, a pale yellow drink.

"Changbin wants to go shoot inside of an empty arcade." You sigh as you finally manage to get your things back from Changbin as he sets them on the table.

Chan's eyes light up with a slight twinkle. You can almost picture a tail wagging behind him excitedly as he stops going through the plastic bag. "Really?"

"Yeah but noona says we can't go."

"Hyung," both you and Chan correct him.

"And I didn't say no. I said that we have to get permission from the owner. They'll probably say no." You add.

"Should we go ask? It'll be cooler at least. And we won't have to worry about other people." Chan pulls out three fruit cups from the bag and leaves two of them in the middle of the table. He wastes no time opening the last one and immediately goes for a piece of pineapple.

"That's what I said!" Changbin shouts excitedly as he grabs Chan's shoulder and shakes it, nearly making the older man drop the grape he was trying to eat.

You shoot Changbin a quick glare before rolling your eyes and fishing your phone out of your bag to check the time. You let out a quiet sigh when you see that you have about an hour and a half left of the allotted time for the pictures. If you didn't have to deal with your camera overheating, you wouldn't have wasted so much valuable time. "It'll probably be easier to go to the arcade. I was hoping we could head up to the Hollywood sign and take some pictures, the view is supposed to be beautiful."

"I like the view from here," Changbin says suddenly. His voice soft and small, almost as if he didn't mean to voice his thoughts.

"Hmm," You glance over at Changbin. His eyes are focused yet soft as he stares at you, a small hint of admiration in them. You put your elbow on the table and rest your chin in the palm of your hand as you look back at where you were earlier. Just across the sidewalk, you can see the ebb and flow of the ocean hitting the sand. You almost avoided going altogether, but something about the way Chan and Changbin screamed 'beach day.' It would have been a waste otherwise. "Yeah, the view is pretty nice."

"The ocean always looks beautiful," Chan speaks behind his hand through a mouth full of fruit. "You two should eat though, I think the sugar is starting to attract bees."

You hum quietly as you continue to watch the water, almost like you're lost in a trace. Something about the beach is calming, even if you're not physically on it. Just staring is enough to slowly pull your worries away. Your free hand wanders to the middle of the table, reaching for the fruit cup.

You yank your hand back quickly as something brushes against you and there's a sudden stinging sensation at the tip of your fingers. You sit straight up and look at your hand, flipping it around while trying to find a sign of injury. Three fine lines appear on your forehead when you don't even find a scrape on your skin. You look back up at the cup, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

Ba-dum

Your face softens with your mouth hanging slightly ajar when you find Changbin also examining his hand in confusion. Despite the California heat cooking you alive, a chill runs down your spine eliciting goose bumps to spread across your arms and legs as Changbin's head snaps up. His sparkling eyes locked on yours with an expression that only mirrors your own.

"What just happening?" Chan asks confused as he looks between the two of you.

"Nothing..." You reply as you shake your head, bringing you back to reality. "I have to call your makeup artist so she can do some touch-ups before we go. Eat your snacks, I'll be back."

You can't get up any faster as you nearly trip getting up from the bench. Your heart does inexplicable somersaults in your chest as you walk away from the table.

What the hell was that?

***

"Chan, I guarantee if you stick your tongue out cheekily and wink with the tip of your straw or top of your slushie showing, Stay will absolutely lose their minds." You call from the floor of the arcade.

"Like this?" Chan asks as he perfectly replicates what you tell him to do.

"Exactly!" You cheer as he snaps the picture on his phone before taking a bite of fruit.

After your call with the makeup artist, you managed to find the arcade Changbin was talking about and talked with the owner. Or rather, the owner's son who didn't care what you did. You could have told him that you were robbing the place and he would willingly give you the key to the register and go back to scrolling on his phone.

You took a few pictures of Chan and Changbin playing various games for the next hour. You did your best in the dimly lit arcade and the flash of your camera. You should be able to edit the pictures later, but it's probably going to take hours to do so.

After you finished working, you sent Chan and Changbin to take a few more selfies while you parked yourself in the corner to eat your fruit cup and check the pictures. Your time is up with them but Changbin is engrossed in a claw machine in the back of the arcade. With no rush for the rest of the day, you decided to just sit in the air-conditioned room while you finally ate your snack. At some point, Chan disappeared and reappeared with slushies for the three of you and played some games while he waited for Changbin.

"Ah, my tongue is blue..." Chan notes as he checks the picture on his phone.

"It'll be fine. Just send it to me." You brush off.

Nobody's set foot in the arcade the entire time you've been there, fortunately. You're not sure if it's because of the obviously outdated games like Dance, Dance Revolution and Donkey Kong or the music that makes you feel like you walked into a different decade. Either way, you're thankful for the break.

"We're going to be here forever..." Chan groans as he sits down next to you.

"He really wants one of those toys, I guess." You shrug. Changbin's eyes immediately locked onto the claw machine the second he saw it earlier. Every time you weren't taking a picture, his attention would drift back to it. Eventually, you took a picture of him playing it and he hasn't left yet.

"Yeah, but it might be cheaper to just buy whatever plush he's trying to get at this point." Chan leans his head against the wall and takes another sip from his slushie.

"Yeah, you're probably right. It'll probably end up being the most expensive thing he buys during this leg of the tour."

Chan hums in agreement looking out in front of him. After a moment in silence, Chan pulls his phone out of his back pocket and responds to a message on his phone. From the corner of your eye, you can see a long text thread.

"Noona, do you want to come to dinner with us tonight?" Chan asks as he sets his phone down in his lap.

"Dinner?" You shift your attention to Chan. It's still too early in the day to think about dinner.

"Seungmin hasn't shut up about kimchi jjigae for about a week and Hyunjin found a place in Koreatown that's supposed to be really good. It's a hole-in-the-wall sort of place too."

"I would love to but I have a lot of things to get done tonight. A few comebacks are happening next week and I haven't done my reviews for them yet." You lie. You're ahead of album and come back reviews that you're done for the entire month of June barring any surprise drops.

"Take it from one of the biggest workaholics in the music industry--maybe even in the whole world--but you don't have to work every minute of every day."

You shove another piece of fruit in your mouth. "I'm not working right now."

"Technically you are." Chan chuckles.

"Eating fruit is my job?" You joke.

"That's a dream job. I wish I knew that was a possibility."

"Maybe in your second life."

"I'm being serious though. Not about the fruit thing. About the working thing. You're going to burn yourself out."

You set your now empty cup down in the space between you. "Didn't I overhear you and Changbin talking about meeting up with Jisung later tonight to work on some music?"

"That's different. We actually take breaks. We just are going to have a quick meeting, we're not going to record or anything like that tonight."

"I take breaks."

"That is the biggest lie I've ever heard come out of anyone's mouth. You're worse than Seungmin." Chan scoffs, his head lazily turning towards you.

You keep your eyes forward, staring at the title screen for Galaga. Even if the restaurant is not popular--even if the attention is no longer on you, you can't go out with the group. If anyone spots you out with them, it'll cause more trouble than it's worth. If you sit even in the same vicinity as Hyunjin and someone spots you, the chaos will start again. Even if you sit as far away from Hyunjin as possible, people will say that you're just doing it for appearances to throw off the media. You can't win either way. Unless you refuse to play altogether.

"Look, it's fine. It's better if we keep a clear...boundary between me you the eight of you. That way there aren't any more misunderstandings and you guys don't have to deal with the added stress."

"Yeah but..." The thought dies in Chan's throat. He knows you're right. The scandal with Hyunjin wasn't just inconvenient for the two of you, it affected the entire group. Fans had been attacking the other members online either getting mad at them for not mentioning the "relationship" earlier or begging them to be single. A huge mess all around.

"Okay, we can leave now." Changbin walks up suddenly. His hands shoved into his front pockets.

"Out of money?" Chan teases when he doesn't see a small stuffed animal anywhere on Changbin's person.

You laugh to yourself while you get up and pick up your bag and trash from the floor. You toss the cup in a nearby trash can and adjust your bag on your strap.

Changbin shakes his head as he pulls his hand out of his pocket. He stretches a fist out in front of him before opening his hand. Palm facing down, something small falls from his hand. It only falls for a second before it's suspended in the air, being held by a small loop still connected to Changbin's hand. The object moves around a bit, swinging back and forth before you notice it's a small stuffed cat drinking a coffee keychain.

"You spent all your time over there and that's what you got?" Chan laughs as he pulls himself off the ground. "You could have gotten that at a dollar store for less than what you paid."

Changbin shrugs nonchalantly as pulls the cat charm back into his fist. He moves his fist more towards you and, with his palm facing up this time, opens his hand again to reveal the cat.

"All that for a keychain?" You ask in disbelief. You've been waiting for him for at least 20 minutes.

"Yeah, but it's not really my style. You can have it." He sticks his hand out more towards you as he tries to offer it to you.

You stare at it for a moment. It's rather cute the way the black cat is holding a cup of iced coffee. "Shouldn't you give it to the resident cat enthusiast?"

"No," Changbin takes your free hand and places the plush in the palm of your hand before making you close your fingers around it. "But it reminded me of you so I think you should have it."

Ba-dum

You press save on your laptop before letting out a large yawn and stretching your arms over your head. After a few seconds, you lower your arms, pulling your shirt back down with one hand and rubbing the back of your neck with the other. You tap your phone screen after fixing your shirt to check the time.

3:09 AM

“Shit…” You mutter under your breath.

You didn’t plan on staying up this late. When you got back to the hotel you immediately got to work importing the pictures you took today. Because of the damage to your laptop, everything takes longer than it should. So, while you waited, you took a small nap, which ended up being longer than you intended. You woke up close to dinner time so you went and grabbed food from a nearby restaurant and ate while you worked.

Editing the pictures also took a little longer than you thought it would. The gentle breeze caused stray hairs to fly around. And you had to do a lot of color correction for the arcade pictures. You also had to reformat the images that Chan and Changbin sent you to save you time later. You were so locked in, you weren't aware how long you were actually working. Luckily, you don't have to be at the venue until the afternoon. So can sleep in a little if your body will allow it.

While your laptop, held together by duct tape and prayers, saves your work you go and take a shower to get ready for bed. You’re busy wrapping your hair in a towel when you walk over to check if it’s done. The huffing and puff of your computer overheating from doing a basic function makes the room hot. You turn the air conditioning on and walk back into the bathroom to do your face routine. Just as you finish, so does your computer.

3:25 AM

You shut your laptop off and double-check that your camera batteries are charging. Once you’re satisfied, you grab a Ziplock bag from the pack on the TV stand and your room key before leaving.

The stillness of the hotel hallway is eerie. It's almost like you stepped into a space where time doesn't exist. It's different from the hallway of an apartment building where you can hear signs of life no matter the time of the day. Hotels, on the other hand, feel almost haunted by everyone who ever stepped foot in them.

You walk to the end of the hall towards the ice machine. As you get closer, the humming of the machine fills the void of quietness. Nearby is the elevator. You don't have to worry about anyone coming up. The entire floor is blocked out for the tour and for added security, the only people who can access the floor are those with the code. Amid the scandal and learning about how there's at least one person working for The Seoul Star: Supernova who is tasked with following the members to catch them in a scandal, your one sense of relief is knowing that they can't come up to the floor.

You fill up your Ziplock bag of ice and make your way back to your room. You hum quietly to yourself as you try to figure out what time you should wake up tomorrow and whether or not you should head over to So-Fi Stadium early to get some footage of fan interactions. You went and got some pictures of the fans camping out back in Seattle but you heard how insane the lines were for the merch presale yesterday. It's expected to be just as insane tomorrow...well, later today.

"Ah,"

You're attention is brought back to the present when you bump into something--no someone--causing you to stumble a bit. You don't fall, your collision wasn't that hard, but their hand rests on your upper arm to prevent you from falling further.

"Sorry, noona. I didn't think anyone was out here." Changbin says quietly. He releases his grip around your arm once he senses that you're stable.

"It's fine, I should have been paying attention." You brush off awkwardly. If you thought you were going to run into anyone, you would have gone out without the towel on top of your head. If it wasn't for the fact that the hallway is cold and your hair is still wet, you'd pull it off right now to save yourself from further embarrassment.

You look back up at Changbin only to be met someone almost unrecognizable. His face is pale and a little clammy. His hair is sticking up in all different directions and looks like it might stay that way. His eyes are darting around looking for...something. His body is so tense that he's shaking. Genuine concern feels your body. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Me? Yeah, no I'm good." He breathes, his voice shaky.

"So good that you're just wandering the hallway at three-thirty in the morning?"

Changbin presses his lips into a fine line as he tries to come up with a half-decent answer. He looks everywhere else but you. "What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?"

You hold up the bag of ice in front of his eyes so he can see it clearly. "I was working too long so I need to ice my wrist before bed."

"You wouldn't need to ice your wrist if you came with me to the gym more often to strengthen your wrist."

"I know you didn't come out here to lecture me about rehabilitating my wrist." You lower the bag again and tap Changbin's arm, forcing him to look at you. "What's really going on?"

More silence sits between the two of you. The only thing filling in the quiet is Changbin's slow, shaky breathing. A dull pain in your chest appears as you continue to watch him.

“I know I don't exactly give off a comforting vibe," You pause for a second, choosing your words carefully. "but you can talk to me if you want. Completely off the record.”

Changbin laughs to himself quietly. "Last week you were going on about how you don't need to be taken care of or people to care about you and yet, here you are."

You ignore his remark, hardly reacting to it at all. He's right, you don't need to be taken care of or burden other people with your issues. But taking care of others is your nature.

Changbin shifts from foot to foot while he studies your face, almost like he's trying to read your brain and find some sort of ulterior motive behind your words. After looking for a moment and unable to find anything, his eyes soften.

"I...I couldn't sleep," He says simply, his voice tight and crackling.

"Oh?" You reply simply, urging him to keep going.

"It-It's nothing," Changbin says quickly. He leans back against the wall next to him and slides down into a crouch. He lowers his head between his knees and runs his hands through his hair. "I'm just being stupid."

Your body is faster than your brain as you move to sit next to him. By the time your brain catches up to your body, you're unsure of what to do next. Too many seconds are passing between the two of you.

"I don't think you're being stupid. Sleep isn't always easy. I can't even imagine the amount of anxiety coursing through your body the night before you perform in one of the largest venues in the world." You bump shoulders with Changbin, trying to cheer him up.

"It's not that," He lifts his head and leans it against the wall. "I...I have these really intense...dreams? Nightmares? I don't get them often but when I do...it’s just not a good feeling."

“What do you do when you get those dreams?”

“I just go to one of the members. But I'm pretty sure everyone is asleep right now. Even Chan hyung."

"And you talk about your dreams with them?"

"No," His eyes are focused in front of him as his hand absentmindedly plays with the plush carpet between the two of you. His hand accidentally brushes against yours for a moment, causing him to freeze for a moment before he continues. "But we would just talk about whatever. Or watch TV...listen to music...play video games."

You bring your knees to your chest and rest your wrist in a way that allows you to place the ice pack on it comfortably while you hum to yourself in response. "When my niece and nephews had trouble sleeping or had a nightmare I would tell them stories until they fell asleep again. Sometimes I would just hum too if I was too tired."

"You're an aunt?" Changbin's head snaps in your direction. You pick a spot on the floor and focus while the gears turn in Changbin's head.

"That's what you heard in that entire sentence?" You scoff in disbelief.

"I heard about the story part but you're so quiet about your personal life, it's shocking to hear you give up information like that willingly. I didn't even know you had an older sister until her live streams came out. You never talk about your home."

"Seoul is my home." You correct almost defensively. You pause for a moment, collecting your composure as an uneasy feeling brews in the pit of your stomach. “I know what you’re trying to say but that…place never felt like home.”

“I’m sorry for bringing it up. You don’t have to explain everything if it’s that uncomfortable. I was just curious about the noona lore.”

“Noona lore?” You laugh, a genuine one that fills your chest with warmth.

“Like I said, you don’t talk a lot outside of work things. It almost seems unfair that you know so much about us and we know hardly anything about you. But I understand if it’s hard to talk about. Your sister is a bit…”

“She’s a bitch. You can say it, I won’t be offended.” You finally look over at Changbin, who stares at you with an amused look on his face. His lips are slightly parted with one corner curved into a smirk and eyes wide as saucers. “She’s 42 and somehow I’m more mature than her.”

“42?”

“Hm,” You hum in response. You ponder for a moment if you should even be telling him this. Weighing your options, you let out a sigh before starting again. “My mom had me late. My sister was turning 13 when she had me. I had an older brother too. He had just turned 18.”

Changbin’s face drops immediately in the middle of your explanation. “Had?”

“He’s not dead or anything!” You say quickly. “It’s slightly more complicated than that.”

You’re not exactly sure why—maybe it’s the ambiance of the hallway or your lack of sleep catching up with you—but you consider telling Changbin everything. How your siblings are actually your half-siblings. How their father was long gone off somewhere far away from the shit storm that is your mother. Eventually, she met your father and fell head over heels in love with him. At some point, he stopped loving her and her solution to get him to stay was to trap him with a baby. A baby he definitely did not want. He did try though, according to your sister. He stayed with her for your sake and all was well. But soon after you were born he was certain that parenthood, and a relationship with your mother, was not the path he didn't want to go down. From then on, your mother shifted the blame onto you. Your brother, freshly 18 decided to not go to university like he was originally planning and stayed to take care of you and your sister as your mother grew more neglectful and out of control. When you were old enough to start going to school and your mother was stable enough to actually care for her children, your brother decided to go back to school and earn a degree so he could get a proper job and help out more. Maybe even adopt you once he was a bit more financially stable. Like a switch had flipped, your mother went insane going on about how he was abandoning like both of your fathers. She kicked him out and threatened to call the police if he came back or if he talked to you or your sister. He tried after that. He’d still take you to and from school. Gave your sister lunch money and made sure you had something to take with you for lunch. And when your mother found out, she kept her word and called the police claiming that there was an abduction attempt. He didn’t get arrested but he knew that she would keep calling until he actually was behind bars. So for his sake, and yours, he stayed away.

But you spare him the sob story. Nothing good comes from reminiscing this late at night. And you’ve already gotten emotional in front of Changbin more times than you’re comfortable with in the last couple of months. Besides, it’ll give him another reason to pity you and that’s the last thing you want. So instead, you face forward and tell him a half-truth.

“We just lost contact over the years.”

Changbin nods, understanding that you're not willing to go further. More silence fills the hallway. A soft thud comes from one of the rooms. You're almost certain one of the other members, probably Jeongin, rolled off their bed.

Sensing the uneasiness radiating off of Changbin, you hold your good arm out, palm facing up, for him to take. He hesitates only for a moment before taking your hand. You're not sure why, if it's the heat of his hand or general exhaustion quickly taking over, but you feel hot. Like someone on the hotel staff just turned up the heater for the whole building. A new sound, a loud rhythmic thumping, rings in your ears as the two of you sit there, holding hands and saying nothing.

"What stories would you tell your niece and nephews?" Changbin asks suddenly.

"I would mostly just repeat the fairytales I would hear in school. My eldest nephew was born when I was 5. The other two were born when I was 9 and 10." You think for a moment trying to recall those fond memories with your niece and nephews. You quietly chuckle to yourself when you remember a botched version of Jack and the Beanstalk that you once told them. "I might have taken some creative liberties though."

"Tell me one?" He asks softly. His voice is small and laced with sleep.

"You want me to tell you a children's bedtime story?" You smirk lazily as you turn your attention back to the younger man.

"You can tell me any story you want to. Or you can just talk about whatever. You can even recap the day if you want." His voice hushed, a whisper of tenderness in the almost intimate moment. "I honestly don't care what you talk about. Your voice is so calming, I can just listen to it all day. It's...it's almost like listening to my favorite song."

Ba-dum

You think for a moment, your brain suddenly devoid of every story you've ever heard. So you make one up. It's more nonsensical jumbled-up words than anything. You're almost certain you blending in some actual children's stories and creating a convoluted story loosely based on Wonseok and Frankie about two members of a trio that hated each other and ended up falling in love. At some point, around the time the two main characters start to fall in love, Changbin's head lands on your shoulder. He was slowly slumping over as you were talking earlier so you weren't as surprised at the sudden contact. You would have thought he fell asleep if it wasn't for the familiar drumming of his fingers along the back of your hand.

As you finish the story, silence hangs over the hallway like a comforting blanket. The thumping noise, now louder, is still present. But so is Changbin's calm, even breaths. Part of you worries about how uncomfortable this position must be for him. Another part of you worries about how you're going to wake him up. If anyone walks out of their room and sees the two of you in the hallway sleeping hand in hand, there'll be rumors spreading through staff and the members like wildfire.

You're slowly nodding off yourself in the tranquil silence. Your eyes are shut and your head is resting on top of Changbin's.

"Noona?" Changbin asks suddenly.

"Hm?" Is all you're able to manage in your sleep-ridden state.

The drumming on your hand stops mid tap and for a second you're convinced he's just talking in his sleep. His breathing is still even and quiet, not showing any sign of stirring.

You push the ice pack off of your bad wrist and decide to let yourself rest for a few more minutes before waking up Changbin and sending him off to his room.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Ba-dum

Your eyes shoot open and the pounding in your ears gets louder and faster. Your mouth is impossibly dry as you try to swallow the lump in your throat. You can't remember how to breathe.

“…What?” You ask after a minute. You look down at Changbin, who hasn't moved an inch from his position, in disbelief as you replay what you just heard in your head.

I think I'm falling in love with you.

Maybe you fell asleep without realizing it? Maybe you're dreaming? Maybe you're losing your mind?

Still, you can't bring yourself to look away from the sleeping man on your shoulder. The man who spent the first few months of you two knowing each other hating you. Who completely shut you out and made working with him difficult. The man who frustrates you to no end for reasons you can't begin to understand. Who has been slower to warm up to you than an oven during dinner prep.

Changbin slowly lifts his head off your shoulder and looks up at you, his eyes conveying a vulnerability that you've never seen in him before. He brushes a stray lock of damp hair from your face and tucks it into the towel on your head, his touch lingering as he drags his finger back down your face. Your breath hitches in your throat the longer he stares at you.

“I’m falling in love with you."

Ba-dum

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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Hot & Cold - Chapter 6

(Dr. Phosphorus x fem!reader)

Synopsis: You make up for accusing Phosphorus of landing you in prison, in more ways than one. It’s becoming clear to you that you like him more than you ever wanted to. He earns two more questions, and you open up about your hard past.

Notes: This is a longer chapter, around 2.6k words. Also it’s back to more smut. Side note, kinda can’t believe I’m on chapter six, when I started this I really didn’t plan on it being so long!

CW: Choking, burning, dom!Phosphorus (kinda). angst (with comfort); discussion of past abuse and past sexual assault (not detailed). Past murder

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How do you say “I’m sorry for accusing you of snitching on me when I had no evidence and treating you badly because of it and also thank you for saving my life twice,” but better?

That’s what you had been trying to figure out since they had taken Phosphorus away. The clock on the wall ticked with each second, counting down to his inevitable return. At this point, you could paint the ceiling from memory, yet you were no closer to figuring out what to say to him.

Five years. Five years you had been in Belle Reve. Five years you had blamed him. Five years without feeling even a fraction of what you felt when you were around him. And you ruined it all in one minute.

You groaned, burying your head in your folded knees. As your chest hit your legs, you felt a reminder of yesterday. Your whole body warmed up as you relived the sensation of him pressing into your behind and groping your breasts.

But it wasn’t just the way he made you weak in the knees that was killing you. It was the way he looked at you, even when you were covered in steel and blood. It was the way he worried about hurting you. It was the way he held you at night, gentle and caring. It was his constant flirting that you thought you hated. It was the way he genuinely wanted to learn about you, without using it against you.

The doors swung open as they wheeled Phosphorus back in. You quickly lifted your head, trying to act like you hadn’t been in agony for the last half hour. His arm wasn’t in a cast, but was bandaged up tightly where the bone had been broken. You couldn’t help but stare at him, hoping he would volunteer what the doctor said, but he still refused to look at you.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The clock seemed even louder now that he was back. You had to say something.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, half-hoping he wouldn’t hear you.

“What was that?” he replied, extra loud so you knew he heard you the first time.

You bit your lip. It wasn’t easy to admit how wrong you were.

“I said I’m sorry for accusing you of turning me in. I had no evidence and made an assumption that I shouldn’t have.”

“And?” He was extremely smug, his arms crossed over his chest and a newfound twinkle in his eye.

“And… thank you for saving my life. Twice.” It stung to admit it, but you had to. He nodded, satisfied.

The A/C whirred to life, sensing the extra heat from his return. The cold air felt like torture, extra punishment for your mistakes.

“You’re cold?” he asked, seeing you shiver.

“Yeah, it’s f-fucking fre-eezing in here,” you tried to laugh, but you teeth chattered as you spoke.

The bed next to you squeeked as he moved. You looked over right as he lifted up your blankets to crawl into bed with you.

“Wh-What are you do-doing?”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. You melted in his arms, sighing with relief at the warmth he provided.

“You’re cold, I’m hot. It’s simple math. Though, I know you’re not good at that,” he teased. You may have been forgiven, but you doubted he was going to let it go anytime soon.

“Mmm, thank you,” you sighed contently, snuggling closer.

“See, now you’re getting it,” he responded, delayed out of surprise by your comfortableness. You lightly swatted at him, smiling to yourself.

“How’s your arm?” you carefully asked after noticing the bandage.

“Ah, it’s fine, it’s already starting to heal. They couldn’t really do much so they just wrapped it up in a fireproof bandage.”

“That’s good,” you murmured, “I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“Don’t be. I’d do it again in a heartbeat,”

The earnest sound of his voice surprised you, making your heartbeat speed up. He absentmindedly ran his fingers up and down your side as you laid together. It suddenly felt like just laying together wasn’t enough. Each brush of his fingers electrified you. You swung your leg over his hips, trying to act like you just wanted to be warmer.

“Mmm, needy, are we?”

“You said it yourself, I’m cold, you’re hot,” you replied, trying to play it off.

“You know, there are other ways I could warm you up,” he pushed himself onto his side, holding you close to him by the small of your back. A mischievous look spread across his face. He ran his other hand down your back, placing it on your ass. It took everything you had not to beg him to squeeze every each of you and fuck you until you were an overstimulated mess.

“Yeah? Like what?”

He pushed you onto your back, positioning himself on top. With one hand he held your chin, making your breath catch in your throat as he grinned at you. His other hand slid up your shirt, cupping your breast. His thumb teased your nipple, eliciting a gasp from you.

“I think you know what I mean.” You nodded fervently, desperate for him. “But you have to beg for it, dollface.” His voice betrayed how much he wanted you too, but you couldn’t draw this out any longer.

“Please, Phosphorus,” you said bucking your hips up towards him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“That’s not begging,” he chided.

“Alex, please,” you whimpered, “fuck me, please, I need you.”

That was what he wanted. He descended on your lips, holding your chin in place as he kissed you. He bit your bottom lip before sliding his tongue into your mouth, swirling it around yours. You moaned into him as he squeezed your breast, feeling his handprint burn into your skin. Still holding back from you, he slid his hand over your thigh, rubbing his thumb over where your hip and thigh met. As his lips traveled down your neck, you begged for more. He chuckled into your ear.

“Patience,” he tsked, “I’ll fuck you when I’m ready.”

You groaned at his reply; hearing him say he wanted to fuck you only tightened the knot in your stomach. Both of his hands slid under you to knead your ass, over your pants, making you desperate to feel him burn you again. Suddenly, he pulled your legs apart and your pants down. You silently thanked God there were no cameras in the med bay as his head lowered. He kissed you over your underwear, the gentleness of his lips making you ache even more. Instead of just pulling them down, he burned through your underwear on both sides of your hips, letting the remains fall off of you. Finally giving into you, he ran his tongue over the length of your pussy, looking up to watch you moan and writhe. Reaching the top, he expertly licked and sucked at your most sensitive bit. You gripped his shoulders, digging your nails into him.

“Alex! Fuck, fuck - ah!” you cried out, the sensation almost too much to take.

He pinned your legs down as you tried to squeeze them together, not stopping or slowing down. You arched your back, crying out as you hit your peak. He lapped up your juices as you came, and not giving you a break, he thrust two fingers into your slick hole, grinning against you as you screamed his name. He pumped his fingers into you, deep and fast, each thrust earning him more moans and broken words. Pushing his fingers into you as far as he could, he quickly pressed into the most sensitive spot of your walls over and over again. Combined with his lips still pleasuring your clit, it took only a minute for you to come again.

“Oh God, fuck, Alex!” you tightened around his fingers, throwing your head back as shockwaves ran through your body. He smiled, satisfied, and rose back up. Squeezing your mouth open with one hand, he placed his fingers in your mouth, letting you taste yourself.

“Now I’m ready.”

In one swift motion, he lowered his pants and plunged himself deep inside you, filling you up to the hilt.

“Ohhh, fuck,” he growled in your ear, his breath sending tingles down your spine.

He moved slowly at first, pounding into you hard and deep. You gasped and moaned with each thrust, the slight burning feeling only adding to your pleasure. He wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing slightly as he sped up.

“Say my name,” he grunted.

“Alex,” you whimpered.

“Say. My. Name,” he demanded, squeezing your neck harder. He slammed into you over and over until you complied.

“Alex! Fuck, Alex, Alex!” you chanted his name like a mantra, unable to think of anything else. He dug his fingers into your neck and hips as his pace picked up, pounding into you relentlessly

“Oh, yes, just like that, Alex, please!” you cried out, holding onto him tighter as your climax grew closer.

“Yeah? Like that?” he kept his pace, but squeezed your neck tighter.

You clawed at his back, your world shattering as you came around his cock. He groaned and fucked you even faster, the sound of him thrusting into your slick hole filling the air. He lifted your legs and pressed them to your chest, allowing him to bury his whole length in you.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good,” he gasped against your neck, his movements becoming sloppier. You felt him pulse inside you as he spilled into you. He released your legs, slowly pulling out and flopping down next to you. The two of you laid there for a moment, trying to catch your breaths. When you did, you curled back up to him, already missing his touch.

“I think I’ve earned two questions this time.”

You laughed. “No, no, the deal was you got one question for four orgasms. That was only three.”

“Yeah, but you accused me of getting you sent to prison, I’m owed extra questions.”

You mock gasped. “I apologized! Will you ever let it go?”

“I’ll let it go… if you let me ask two questions,” his voice was unserious, letting you know you didn’t have to.

“Ugh, fine, what do you want to know?” It was kind of cute that he wanted to know about you.

“I want to know your tragic backstory- I want to know what happened to make you go from an alien in exile to one of the biggest threats in Gotham.”

Less cute. Your fingers gripped his shirt as you debated whether or not to tell him. It wasn’t a story you liked to relive, and you weren’t sure if you could trust him with it. But you were wrong about him before; you owed him the benefit of the doubt.

“I, uh… it was a guy,” you swallowed, “that’s what happened to me.”

He wrapped his arm around you, holding you with both arms. He waited for you to continue, letting your tell the story at your own pace.

“I knew nothing about Earth when I arrived. They put a translator chip in me so I could speak English but that was it. I just wandered the streets for hours, trying to figure out what to do, till this car pulled over. The driver… he asked me if I needed help. I said yes.” Regret and embarrassment flooded your body. “He took me out to eat. Bought me clothes. He asked me what happened and listened when I told him I was an alien, that I had no idea what to do in Earth. He offered up his place, said I could stay there until I figured it out.”

Phosphorus squeezed you, sensing the pain in your voice.

“He was nice. He was really kind. He told me I was beautiful, that I wasn’t a monster. So when he kissed me… I kissed him back. When he told me to get on my knees because that’s how humans showed appreciation, I did. When he… when he undressed me and said that’s how humans showed love, I didn’t doubt it. When he hit me and said it was because,” you voice cracked, tears streaming down your face, “because he loved me, I believed him.”

You felt Phosphorus heat up beneath you. “You didn’t know.”

“Yeah… yeah, but then one day he came home drunk with three of his friends. He said if I loved him, I would do it.” At this point you were sobbing, holding onto Phosphorus like he could save you from the past. “They wouldn’t stop touching me. They’re hands were everywhere, I-I kept saying, I said no, I said no and they didn’t stop, they didn’t slow down, so,” you sniffed, sucking up snot as your tears slowed down, “so I turned myself to steel, and I killed them. I didn’t mean to, I… I just wanted them to stop.”

You swallowed, pausing for a second.

“I, uh, dumped their bodies in the river and on the way back I saw a flyer for a domestic violence center, so I went there. Did the whole group therapy thing. And all I learned was the violence was the only answer.”

You lightened up your grip on Phosphorus, finally getting to the good part of the story.

“This one lady, she had been married for over 15 years. She had kids with the man. And he was super rich so he had a great lawyer that got him custody. And with her gone, he was moving onto the kids. There was nothing she could do, and the therapist just kept giving her empty platitudes. So, I went to his house and solved her problem. I’ll never forget how she cried tears of joy when she heard he was dead…. she made me realize I didn’t have to be a victim. I could do whatever I wanted.”

Phosphorus was silent for a moment. You expected him to move away, to be freaked out, something. But instead, he kissed your forehead.

“It’s a good thing you killed those guys, or I’d break out of here just to do it myself.”

That was the last response you expected. You looked up at him, new tears forming in your eyes. He reached one hand up to your face and gently swiped them away. Your heart felt heavy, but in a good way, a feeling you didn’t fully recognize.

Is this what love feels like?

“You, uh, have one more question,” you said, trying to shift the mood.

“Hmmm… what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?”

You exploded into laughter, another feeling you hadn’t felt in a long time. Only he could make you laugh after reliving your worst memories.

“Mint chocolate chip,” you answered.

“What?! That’s disgusting!”

“It’s delicious!”

“It tastes like toothpaste!”

The two of you light-heartedly bickered over ice cream for several minutes. The normalcy of it felt so good. It felt so easy laying in his arms, arguing over ice cream.

The sound of heels echoing down the hall interrupted your discussion. The two of shared a worried look, and he lept out of your bed to get back in his own. You frantically redressed and smoothed over your blankets, finishing right as Waller walked in.

Shit, are there actually cameras in here?

“You,” she turned to Phosphorus, “How’s the arm?”

A relieved look crossed his face.

“Oh, it’s fine. Broken but it’s healing already. Doctors just said to take it easy.”

“Good. And you?” she asked, turning to you.

“Oh, I’m fine, they’re just keeping me for observation.”

“Good, then both of you can get up. You’re going back to Pokolistan.

[stars-obsession-pit]

Fanfic author Danny’s unhinged author’s notes

(Inspired by a reply on this post)

…

“Sorry no chapter this week. I got killed in an accident in my parents’ lab. Don’t worry, though, I got better!”

“I hope this uploaded alright. Some things have been… weird, around me lately. Here’s hoping my computer won’t be one of them.”

“Sorry for the delay, Technus destroyed my computer and I had to rewrite SO MUCH”

“Fuck the government, but hey, at least I got this uploaded on time! That’s one thing going right at least.”

“Fucking Technus destroyed my computer again. Ugh. Thankfully I’d made backups this time though, so I didn’t have to rewrite as much.”

“Update: not a chapter. Hello, I’m [username]’s sister. He’s fine, don’t worry, but he really needs to be resting right now, so I’ve confiscated his laptop so he hopefully won’t stay up all night again. But I did promise him to let you guys know in advance that the next chapter might be delayed because of this.”

“I’m back! But just FYI, my updates may be slower for a bit. Apparently I may have become king of an alternate dimension, and I have no idea how to deal with that.”

“I apologize if there’s any weirdness with the upload this time. I was having some connectivity issues, so a friend tinkered with my computer. It works now, but I’m not sure if I’ve worked out all the kinks yet.”

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

chapter nine:

<last chapter> <next chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: mentions of toxic family, angst.

➴ word count: 3.8k

💌 from me to you: took my sweet time before publishing this because now my non hockey best friend follows me (i love u lily) here and i feel ashamed lmfao also ive been deep into ballroom hair tutorial videos on tiktok so im sorry for the delay. love u all though! (p.s. be patient with maddie yall)

౨ৎ

2024, MAY.

YOU STARED at the two piece set you chose for Jack’s birthday dinner and sighed, wondering if it was a good option or not.

After that wonderful weekend with Quinn at the cabin he had rented for you both, you decided to give it a shot and call Luke and Jack once, to know how they were doing; turns out Quinn was right, and they missed you just as much— or at least that's what they said when you explained that you were calling because you wanted to know how they were doing and that you missed them.

Luke talked with you for a good thirty minutes, while Jack exceeded himself and made it to the one hour mark. Even with the time difference, he managed to speak with you for a long time, and didn’t end the call until he was absolutely sure that you would come to his birthday dinner in Newark.

“You can come with Quinn, if you want. He’s coming too,” he said, and you wondered if you should tell him that you and Quinn now were some sort of friends with benefits.

Not that you didn’t want people to know. In fact, people probably already knew— or at least they suspected. It wasn’t like you and Quinn had been trying to be subtle, and your Instagram posts didn’t leave room for imagination. It was clear that you were with someone, and the chances of that someone being Quinn Hughes were very high.

All your life you tried to distance yourself from the Hughes brothers as much as you could. When you were younger, people asked if you knew them, and even though you didn’t understand why, you always told them no. After you grew up and made your own name, not mentioning Quinn, Luke or Jack felt like the right choice, so you just kept it that way.

And now, it was May 14th, and you were on your way to Jack’s house, with Quinn by your side. You had rented a hotel room for the weekend, even after Jack (and Luke) complained about how there was no need for that and how you could stay with them, you thought it was better this way. You didn’t want to intrude in their lives and sharing a hotel bedroom with Quinn wasn’t exactly the worst thing that could happen to you. And thankfully, Quinn didn’t complain about it either.

“Are you ready, baby?” Quinn stood by the bathroom door, looking at you through the mirror.

You picked your red lipstick up, opening it. “Just the last thing and then yeah.” You say before applying it, smearing the lipstick on your lips. “What do you think?” You ask, giving him a twirl.

“You’re unreal, Madison,” he eyes your body, up and down, before getting closer and kissing your forehead. “We might not leave this room tonight.”

You roll your eyes playfully.

“Come on, let’s go,” you say, taping him on his shoulder. “Did you grab Jacky’s gift? It was in my bag.”

“I did, yeah,” he says, leaving the bathroom after you. “Wanna tell me why you bought him a pop music album called ‘Make Me Yours’? A bit suggestive, don’t you think?”

You laugh, throwing your head back at Quinn’s furrowed brows.

“I was just listening to this album the other day and I don’t know why, but I thought he might like it.”

“Alright. I thought you wanted to be his.” He smirks, grabbing your purse for you and opening the bedroom door.

“Meh. He’s not the Hughes I’m interested in.” Quinn laughs, nodding with his head.

The drive to Jack’s place wasn’t long, fifteen minutes inside the car Quinn rented was all you needed to get to Jack’s house. You took advantage of the time inside the car to check on the photos the hotel Bella was staying in had sent you during your flight, smiling when you remembered how Quinn also got worried about her well being.

You were looking at Bella, trying your hardest not to let your eyes fill up with tears as she distanced herself from you to play with the other dogs there.

“Are you sure she’ll be okay?” You ask Ryan, the owner of the five star dog hotel you reserved for Bella so you and Quinn could travel together.

“Yes, Mrs. Carter, I can assure you that.” He smiles politely, holding his hands together.

“I need you to send me pictures of her hourly so I can see if she’s fine,” you demand, shaking your head. “If there’s anything wrong, call me. No matter what time it is, you will call me, do you understand?” You squinted, trying to look scary.

It probably worked, because soon you felt Quinn’s hand circling your waist, pulling you closer. You stared at him as he smiled at you. “I think Ryan understood everything perfectly, baby. Bella will be fine.”

“Yes, Mr. Hughes, Bella will be well taken care of.”

“Of course she is. Otherwise we’ll make sure this place is shut down.” Quinn says with the friendliest tone you ever heard coming out of his mouth, making you smile at him.

Ryan’s eyes twitched for a second before he managed to let out a scared laugh, excusing himself and leaving the two of you alone.

“Do you think we scared him enough?” Quinn asks as you both leave the fancy room.

You smirk. “I hope so. Otherwise this will be the only time I use my name for something.”

You and Quinn parked the car after a few minutes looking for a spot— the street was packed with cars, so you could only imagine what Jack’s house was going to look like— and you grabbed his gift before moving back to Quinn’s side and walking to Jack’s door.

Quinn rang the doorbell and a few minutes later, a very excited and happy Jack opened the door, holding a can of beer in his left hand.

“Huggy bear!” He hugged Quinn and pulled him inside the place. “Guys, Huggy Bear is here!”

You could hear the shouts coming from the living room and you smiled, watching as Quinn’s face turned into a cute shade of red and he looked at his brother like he wanted to murder him.

“Hey, Jacky, happy birthday. I love you,” Quinn mumbles, embarrassment coming out of his pores.

“Thank you,” he kisses Quinn on the cheek, clearly a bit tipsy and moves on to you. “You’re actually here.”

You smile. “I am. Happy birthday, Rowdy.”

He hugs you tight, holding your waist with both of his arms, his left hand feeling colder because of his beer. You kiss him on the cheek, making sure there were no lipstick marks left, and hand him his gift.

“This is for you.”

“Can we talk about how the actual gift here is you being here? With Quinn?” He smiles, closing the door behind you and Quinn. Your smile grows, feeling happy to see him this happy. “Thank you.”

“How many people did you invite?” Quinn asks beside you, sounding surprised.

“Just the fellas,” Jack shrugs. “And maybe some girls too.”

“There’s like thirty cars parked outside.” Quinn complains, and you squeeze his shoulder, involuntarily. Jack eyes your hand there for a second before rolling his eyes at Quinn.

“Stop being boring. Come on.”

Jack probably didn’t understand the concept of a small birthday dinner, which was what he said when he invited you to his birthday. You imagined that there would be ten people tops, but the twenty-three NJ Devils players were there, and their respective significant others as well. Not to mention the at least ten women and men who weren’t players nor girlfriends but were there as well.

While Quinn greeted some of the people he knew, you found Luke sitting on the couch, talking to a random girl.

“Mads? Jesus, you actually came.” he sounded as surprised as Jack did, and you raised your eyebrow, giving him a forehead kiss.

“Why are you so surprised? You know I wouldn’t miss the chance of taking pictures of Jack’s drunk face,” you joke, sitting on the couch beside him and smiling at the girl who was talking to Luke before. “Hi, I’m Madison.”

“I’m Jessica, nice to meet you,” she smiles, and you can tell she’s timid.

“Been a while since the last time I saw you. How’s life in Vancouver, M?” Luke asks, sipping on a beer he should not be drinking. You squint your eyes at him. “Don’t even start.”

You lift your hands in surrender. “I like living there.”

“I heard they have amazing lakes there,” the girl from before, Jessica, says, smiling and crossing her legs.

“Oh, yeah, they do.” you agree, smiling.

“You and Quinn visited one last week, didn’t you?” Luke asks, staring at you weirdly. You could tell he wanted to ask you something else, blue eyes full of questions, but he was content with the simple nod you gave him.

“I’m actually in the mood for a drink. Sorry for interrupting you both,” you say before getting up, watching as Luke smirked at you, probably happy because you didn’t cut his chances of getting laid that night, while Jessica shyly smiled at you, waving with her hand.

Finding Jack’s kitchen wasn’t hard, since the majority of the people were staked in the living room. You took the liberty of opening his fridge, smiling when you found your favorite beer brand inside it.

You grabbed a can, closing the door right after it. You opened it, taking a sip after.

“Oh, wow,” you hear a voice behind you, loud enough to be heard over the music playing in the background, making you turn, still with the can around your lips. A blond man stood by the kitchen door with his hands inside his pockets. “It’s not every day we see a lady like you drinking directly from the source.”

You chuckle, putting the can down. “That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The man smiles and shrugs.

“I probably have to work on my pick up lines a little bit more.”

“That was a pick up line?” you scoff. “I’m scared.”

“I’m Jesper Bratt,” he laughs, extending his hand, which you promptly grab. “Never seen you around Jack’s parties before.”

“Madison Carter,” you introduce yourself, letting go of his hand. “I’m an old friend of Jack’s. And I live in Vancouver, I’m just here to celebrate Jacky’s birthday.”

Bratt whistles. “Damn. And I thought that the twenty minute drive here was long. You flew a whole country for him.”

You smile and lift your shoulders, feeling shy suddenly.

“It’s no big deal, I’ve known him for years. Are you one of his teammates?”

“Yes, actually,” he rests his elbow on one of the counters, staring at you with fierce eyes. “So, Madison Carter. Tell me about yourself.”

“Is this a job interview?” you laugh, finishing the rest of your beer in one go.

“It might as well be,” he smirks, moving until he was in front of the fridge, opening so he could get another beer for you. You thanked him, before speaking again.

“And for what position am I applying for?” you ask, only realizing what your sentence implied after Bratt’s laugh.

“I hope it’s for missionary.” he cocks his head to the side, a flirty smile decorating his lips.

You rolled your eyes, sipping on your beer again.

Jesper wasn’t a bad looking man. And usually, you’d feel flattered that a man as handsome as he would be interested in you, but this was when you realized that you were fucked.

Because no matter how much Bratt flirted with you, or how seductive he sounded, it didn’t matter— he isn’t him.

You were sixteen years old when you realized that that infatuation you felt for Quinn in reality meant that you were in love with him. Maybe if you were anyone else, you would’ve realized sooner, since the signs were as clear as Algarve’s beach sea, but coming from someone who knew little to nothing about love, it took you way longer.

You came to the conclusion that it wasn’t normal for you to compare all of the boys your age to Quinn. It wasn’t normal for you to cry after your first kiss because you wanted Quinn to be the one who kissed you first. Same thing with your first time having sex or giving a guy a blowjob.

You were in love with Quinn Hughes, and probably had always been.

But then you grew up, moved to Los Angeles and tried your hardest to be normal and not feed your teenage delusions about marrying Quinn and carrying his children. You forced yourself to believe that what you felt for him wasn’t anything more than a crush. A teenage crush.

And it was easy to believe that, since you hadn’t seen him for years. It was easy to pretend you were happy with Richard, or with any of the guys who flirted with you.

But when you saw Quinn for the first time after all those years, looking as handsome as you knew him to be, you realized that your silly infatuation for him wasn’t just that. No. Twenty-two year old Madison Carter felt the same things sixteen year old Madison did.

And now, standing in the middle of Jack’s kitchen, you realized something worse: it wasn’t just a crush. It was a wardrobe full of feelings, it was a gray sky packed with heavy clouds. You were in love with him.

And people are right when they say that owning something is probably the most hurtful way of loving. Because you loved Quinn, you owned him right now— you know he isn’t seeing anyone else— and yet, he wasn’t yours to keep.

The months were passing by, and soon it’d be September again and you’d have to move back to Los Angeles, and leave him and what you wanted so bad to call yours behind.

“Earth to Madison.”

You smiled at Jesper, feeling bad for zoning out on him like this.

“Sorry, I’m still a little bit jet lagged,” you explain, leaving your still full can on top of the counter and excusing yourself. “I think I need to use the bathroom, sorry.”

“No worries. The night’s still young.” He smiles at you one last time before you leave the kitchen, looking for Jack’s back door, and leaving the house.

Thankfully, no one had had the same idea as you, so Jack’s backyard was empty and with no one around to watch you freak out over your realization.

Or at least that’s what you thought.

“I knew something was up with you, but now I need to know what.” Luke’s voice reached your ears, making you smile and turn your head around, looking at the man who was sitting on one of Jack’s couches,

You walked in his direction, sitting beside him, resting your chin on your knees. “Just tired.” You mumble, closing your eyes.

“Maybe Jack would fall for that but me?” He scoffs. “Hell no. Spill it.”

“Why are you talking like a seventeen year old girl?”

“Don’t try to change the subject, little lady. I’m waiting.”

“I’m still older than you, y’know.”

“And I’m taller, so I don’t care,” he coughs, poking your cheek with his freezing cold finger. “Come on, M. Is it Quinn?”

You lift your head fast, frowning “Why are you talking about him?”

“It’s obvious that something’s going on between the two of you and you just confirmed it,” he chuckles. “What happened?”

“I don’t even know where to start,” you sigh, putting your head against your knees again.

“I think that starting from the beginning is a great choice.”

“You think you’re so funny,” you roll your eyes, playful. “You’re not. And I don’t know if I want to talk about my relationship with your brother with you.”

“Look, it already feels weird because you’re literally a sister to me, so it feels like I’m watching something very unholy and sinful happening but I want to help you, so just get it out of the way.”

You stay quiet for a while, debating with yourself if you should talk with him or not.

“I’m in love with your brother,” you whisper, saying the truth out loud for the first time ever. “And I’ve been in love with him for a long time now.”

Luke doesn’t say anything, so you keep going.

“We’ve recently started to… well, explore each other in other ways.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, I knew it’d be bad but fuck me sideways this is disgusting,” he groans, making you laugh.

“You were the one who asked me to talk to you!” you laugh at his disgusted face.

“Yeah, but I regret it now. Leave all of the romantic parts aside, please.”

You roll your eyes, but do as he says. “And the truth is I don’t know what to do. I’m only staying in Vancouver for four more months and I don’t want to start something with him knowing that I won’t be able to keep it.”

Not to mention that once Quinn got to see you for what you truly are, he’d want to run away from you as soon as possible, just like your family did, making you leave your house as soon as you turned eighteen.

“Why can’t you just tell him this?” Luke stares at you, licking his lips.

“Why are you even asking me this?” You raise your eyebrow. “Why would I tell him about loving him but not being able to be with him?”

Luke stays silent for a while, making you stop staring at him and stare at the sky above you— the moon shining bright and the stars decorating the space around her.

“D’you know what I think?” he finally says, and you hum, waiting for his answer. “I think that you’re scared.”

You frown. “Scared? Why would I be scared?”

“Because you know Quinn, and you know he would do absolutely everything to be with you. He would fly to Vancouver every week if he had to, just to stay in LA with you.”

“I can’t let him do that,” you whisper, feeling terrible just by the thought of it. “I would never ask him to do something like that.”

“I’m not saying you would, I’m just saying that he’s willing to do something like that for you, and it scares you. It scares you to think that he probably loves you enough to do something like that.”

“We don’t know if he actually l–loves me.” You stutter, the word making your mouth feel bitter.

Luke sighs, moving his body around until he is facing you.

“Maddie, look,” he starts, his tone barely recognizable with how serious he sounded. “We’ve never said anything because it wasn’t our place, and maybe it still isn’t, but—” he breathes deep, his eyes never leaving yours. “The way your family treats you isn’t normal.”

“Luke—”

“I know, hell, we know that love isn’t exactly something you have experience with in your life and it’s fine. But you need to learn to accept the love people are willing to give you.”

“I do accept it,” you bite back, defensive.

“When was the last time you said ‘I love you’ to anyone?” Luke asks, and you can feel all of the walls you worked so hard to build starting to crack. And it scared you to death.

You got up fast, startling Luke. “Don’t talk about shit you don’t know.”

He also gets up, reaching out for you, making you step back immediately. He pulls his hands back, frowning. “Madison.”

“No, you— you can’t just say shit like that, Luke.” You could feel your heart racing inside your chest, your head pounding with unwelcome thoughts, but now you’d already started and— “I know what love is.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, M, I’m just saying you don’t know how to accept it!” He yells and raises his arms, pretty face portraying a deep shade of red underneath the moonlight. “Jack, Mom, Dad, me and Quinn have loved you for years and you can’t even acknowledge it!”

You both turn your head around as you hear the back door opening, and Quinn’s worried voice reaching your ears. “Luke, Maddie. Is everything okay here?”

“Madison’s—” Luke starts talking, and you angrily press your index finger against his muscled chest.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Luke,” you whisper, watching as he looks down at you, his sad, blue eyes grabbing a piece of your heart and keeping it.

You knew you were all over the place and you knew Luke had the greatest of all intentions, but he was right. You were scared. You had never been so scared before, not even when you moved to a whole other country by yourself, with no one to rely on.

You knew you were hurting him, just like you knew you were going to hurt Quinn, and maybe even Jack. Because that’s what you did to people, you hurt them.

Luke steps back, then he’s walking towards the door where Quinn stood, getting inside without saying a word.

You took a deep breath, thankful for all of the times you wanted to cry at work but couldn’t because you were surrounded by people. Now you know how to push your tears back whenever you need to.

“Maddie?” You hear Quinn’s soft whisper beside you, only then realizing he had gotten closer, and was now holding you by your waist. “What happened, sweetheart?”

You, you think. You happened, Quinn. You and your brothers and your parents.

You try to smile, knowing it wouldn’t reach your eyes. “Luke and I were just talking, it’s fine.”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost and Lukey looked like he had just lost a game by 10-0,” he stares at you, worried. “Tell me what happened.”

“Nothing happened, I swear,” you lie through your teeth, knowing he would see right through it. “Let’s go back to the party.”

“We’re not going back there with you like this,” he frowns. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”

You shake your head, already letting go of him. “No. We came all the way here to see Jack and that’s what we’re going to do.”

“But—”

You kiss his lips gently, briefly touching them.

“Please? I’m fine, I swear.”

He stares at you for a while, his eyes searching for an answer in yours, but whatever he found made him give up, briefly nodding before kissing your forehead and walking you back to Jack’s party.

And just like that, you had your confirmation.

Even though you’re one hundred percent sure that you were meant to be his, Quinn Hughes wasn’t meant to be yours.

taglist: @hischierswhore @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @he6rtshaker @nope-i-am-done @nngkay 🤎

[unholyhelbig]

I just want to say I'm already hooked on the beast you made me. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Center picture Cred: Jadiakallisti

Title: The Beast You've Made of Me [Part 2/7]

Ship: Female!Reader x Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff

Wordcount: 5151

Summary: When reader wakes up in her own grave, she's suddenly aware of a past that spans lifetimes, but she's not the only one. Two Avengers are tasked with keeping readers past a secret, or at the very least, controlled.

Warnings: Blood, fatal injuries, animal bones, mentions of death, containment, and horrible grammar because I don't proofread

[a/n: Thank you all for the overwelming support on the first chapter! I truly didn't expect that much reception. I'm going to be traveling for the next week so the next chapter might be delayed a bit]

[ Part one | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven ]

Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests

1917, Rural Pennsylvania

A sweeping river cut through the patch of sweetgrass on the south side of the farm. It emitted a gurgling sound that often soothed your nerves. There was a rocky clearing sandwiched between the tree line and the plain of grass that had become a perfect spot for you to settle in and read the hard-covered books you’d gotten from the corner store.

Your father would bring back any book you requested from the city during his travels. You devoured them faster than he could provide them and had read ‘Eight Cousins’ ,Lousia May Alcott’s foray into the adventures thirteen-year-old Rose, enough to nearly tear the pages from the binding.

The book itself held the clean honeyed scent of the earth, of the secluded spot that you called your own. Your muscles would thrum from loading the bales of hay into your fathers ford. Your fingers were calloused, and dirt caked around your ankle in a dark ring. All of that vanished when you cracked open the book about a girl that was so much like yourself.

It was easy to lose yourself in the paragraphs, the hum of the river sometimes lulling you to sleep. Your mother would pack you a sandwich on warm, hand-kneaded bread, usually some salted meat and mayonnaise. She’d pack sweet tea and send you on your way, knowing that you wouldn’t return to the house until you saw a flicker of a firefly.

Today, you’d fallen asleep under the sun. The book was discarded, and your forearm draped across your eyes. It was easy to drift, and easier still to dream about leaving the small dairy farm for something bigger- the very city that your father would return from with new literature and arts, and spices that made your mouth buzz with flavor.

You were in a haze when the ear-piercing scream cut through the air as if it were a natural solid. Your ears pinched at the sound, heels digging into the coarse sandy shore. Maybe it was a dream. It could have been an animal that had sunk its pointed teeth into the artery of another.

So, you waited, panting with your heart in your chest and the corner of the book barely lapped by the muddied water. And there was this sound. It was no fox caught in a trap or bovine tangled up in the barbed wire fence around the property- no, this was familiar. This was your sister.

Helena was quiet, often described as demure and borderline submissive. Despite being younger than yourself she carried a certain poise about her. Mother would often boast about how she would have no trouble finding a husband, how the boys already fawned over the child of hers that was not feral and unkempt.

Her cry was the loudest you had ever heard her and it had you on your feet, scrambling up the bank. Once past your small world of wonder, you were greeted with an endless sea of sweetgrass that was waist high in some areas.

A warm breeze created waves against the landscape, the farmhouse a small speck among the expanse of land. Your head was spinning, it was hard to track exactly where it had come from. It took another cracking screech to set you North.

Your legs pumped until you were consumed in a blind speed. You’d been renowned for your quickness, for your dedication to get from point A to point B. The kids in your town often joked that you were steadier than a steed. Not only were you the fastest in the class, but the fastest in the county according to some. Still- only a child of fifteen, and no man would want to wed someone with speed. It wasn’t a practical skill.

There was a pit deep in your stomach whirled, instinct knowing precisely where Helena was yowling from.

Jorge had gotten there at the same time you did; his brow was leaking with sweat and he panted against the hot air that surrounded you both. Your older brother was tall and lanky, serpent-like with beady black eyes and pitch hair to match your father’s. His shirt hung low against his midsection, his skin pale despite his hours in the sun working the fields.

“Stay back, y/n.” He demanded sharply.

The old well was a mere foot in front of you both but neither made the effort to move forward. The aged wooden plank that covered the stone shaft had been splintered through the middle, worn from age and weather.

Helena’s soft cries echoed up. When your father had first acquired the property, the previous owners explained that it had been boarded up after of the bulls had fallen down and snapped it’s neck. It was too large to pull out and they left it to starve and then rot.

Your father never let any of his children peer down into the well. You wondered if something had pulled Helena here, or if she had simply forgotten of it’s existence. Jorge dropped down to his knees and did a cautious crawl as if his own two feet couldn’t’ hold him anymore.

You saw the exact moment his skin became waxier, almost a gray porcelain paleness that had a green tint. He was swallowing too much, his white shirt coated in the red clay dirt.

“What?” You asked, voice breaking “What is it?”

“Go get Mama.”

It would have been easy to listen to your brother. He was the man of the house when your father wasn’t there but with him pleading for your mother, for an adult, you got a rancid taste in your mouth.

Against your better judgement you edged close enough to the abandoned well. The sun was setting in a fire-filled orange haze with enough color and angle to get a good view of the bottom; a slosh of fallen grass and rainwater, and muck, and yes; the bones of a beast once left to decay and rot in its own silence.

Your sister was wedged within the ribcage of the befallen bull, almost as if she replaced the beating heart that stopped pulsing long ago. Her hands gripped at the sun-bleached bone, knuckles nearly the same color.

It took you a moment to make out the slick, and the red that stemmed from the center of her stomach. The head of the bull had shattered under her weight, all expect the stretching length of it’s curved horn. That was wedged through her abdomen, surrounded in a vibrant rose red that puddled and had already coated her hands.

Prints from her struggle were against the limestone edges of the well. Her eyes pleaded up at you; your kind and caring, and animal-loving sister was trapped inside the remains of one. You fought back the urge to vomit, the rash thought that if the bone ripping through her flesh didn’t kill her, then infection would.

“Y/n get mama!” Jorge hissed again, and this time you didn’t hesitate. You nearly tripped over your own boots with the fever it took to back away from the scene, the metallic scent of blood mixing deliciously with the turn of rotted soil.

You had never run so fast in your life.

Wanda Maximoff had never felt the cold that wormed its way to her bones before. It was the type of cold that almost wasn’t, a stinging, horrible feeling that had her startled from the folded metal chair. It collapsed within itself as the blinked the wine-dark color from her eyes.

She stumbled backward, only to be brought back to the starkness of the room by a soft grip on her elbow. Wanda allowed herself to be held, if not for stability but for comfort. Steve Rodgers had a welcoming hand on the small of her back, the other steadying her.

He was a solid force, and her reaction stirred him.

“Fuck,” the expletive fell from her lips, “Jesus Christ.”

There was quietness to the room in the aftershock of the fallen chair. It was nicer than a standard holding cell. The walls were cream colored, triple enforced to keep people like you inside. There was a bed bolted to the wall, a bunk that was almost like a summer camp endeavor.

A charged glass wall was blocking you from the rest of the world. It was seemingly unbreakable, and in this moment, so were you. Wanda didn’t want to test the glass, nor did she know how to make sense of the memories- your memories- that had flooded every inch of her body.

You were asleep, chest rising and falling at a normal pace, as if none of what Wanda had just seen was flitting around your mind. Soft snores pushed past your lips, one arm hanging over the side of the bed while the other followed the flow of your breathing as it rested on your chest.

Wanda didn’t understand the secrecy and the precaution that surrounded you. The Avengers compound was a constant ebb and flow of different heroes, Inhumans and mutants. What made you so different? What made you an 0-8-4?

It was a term that Natasha had used only once that was usually attached to objects, not a person. It was an object of unknown origin and in that case, it was a power-filled object from space. Space. She’d been through different dimensions, but that, for some reason, struck her as terrifying.

0-8-4’s were never brought here, but then again, they’d never been alive either. Steve had told her that your energy signal was off the charts, and that they wanted her to dig around your head. Something that she denied doing at first. It was an invasion of privacy.

But, there was a certain pleading within Captain America’s eyes that scared Wanda more than the personal rules she set for herself when it came to her power. What she had seen, what she had felt was barely scraping the surface of what your mind contained. She wasn’t keen on pushing past that barrier for the conclusion of that story. Was it even yours?

“What? Wanda, what is it?”

“I… I don’t” She shook her head, eyes hardening as she stared into Steve’s “Where did you find her?”

He hesitated to answer, his eyebrows furrowing before he looked away from the witches’ prying eyes. She’d been part of this team for years now and they were still reluctant with what they were willing to share. Wanda clenched her jaw, then unclenched it before her stare flashed back to your resting form.

There was a small frown that creased your features. You looked so… harmless. You had shifted, folded into yourself as if you were scratching the surface of what flashed before her. Your arm was folded under your head, knees flush to your chest. A small, beautiful whimper escaped you.

“She’s in distress, Steve.”

“Discomfort, more like. It’s better for all of us that she stays in there for right now. The last thing we want to do is harm anyone but if that requires some temporary-“

“Imprisonment?”

“Containment.” He said firmly, eyes hard. Wanda crossed her arms over her chest but stayed silent, letting him continue. She was sure she wouldn’t have been asked if not for her ability to worm her way into minds, to rearrange things. “What did you see?”

“A memory, one that can’t possibly be hers. The timeline doesn’t fit, this is a woman in her mid-twenties and who I saw was barely a teenager on a farmstead. To experience that much tragedy, that much fear and heartache.”

She started to pace, trying to not only work through her own thoughts, but yours as well. It could have been a story, and she was convinced of the fact save for the vividness. There was the feeling of grass tickling her arms and the sharp, undeniable stench of blood.

“Her younger sister died, fell through some rotted wood and fell to her death.” Wanda’s fingers pressed against the edge of her hairline. “She could have lived, but I have my doubts.”

He lifted a perfectly sculpted brow at her. His expression betrayed his compassion towards you, his stance uncomfortable with the topic. While the revelation was heartbreaking it hardly made you extraordinary. They’d all lost people, none had stirred Wanda as you did.

Wanda’s stare found his after darting to you once more, “Steve, I have the sinking feeling that what I saw was only scratching the surface. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of memories that were pressing in on all sides.”

The sensation of being observed is what pulled you from your fitful sleep. Exhaustion had washed over you like a tidal wave, all at once and leaving your mouth dry like a spoonful of salt. There was a stiffness that rivaled that of the grave you’d crawled out of, and you hoped that it was all a dream.

You were in your bed, in your apartment, after having one too many drinks. It was a horrible stretching nightmare that had plunged you into one sea of darkness from another. But even you weren’t that naïve.

Just as you felt a stranger’s eyes on you now, you had felt the dirt under your nails, the cold sodium-filled takeout as you attempted to chew it. More than anything, you remembered the burning feeling of the Black Widow pressed fully against your back, bending you over Jenn’s kitchen counter.  

“I would prefer if you kept the feeling of my wife’s body against yours out of your mind.”

You shot up with a dizzying amount of quickness, heart suddenly in your chest. There was an imbalance to the bed that you were laying on. It was smaller than your own and unfamiliar. The room was stark white. It hurt your eyes and you had to blink the color away. You pressed the heels of your palms close to your eyes.

It felt as if you were locked in a glass shower with an audience and stage lights. The more you looked, the more you realized it was a room, something with no personal effects but a bed and a dimmer switch that you itched to utilize.

A pitcher of water was on an end table. It wasn’t color exactly, but it was more than the rest of your surroundings. Possibly with the worst manners you’d ever exhibited, you drank straight from the pitcher, not remembering the last time you had a drink. Suddenly, you were parched enough to soak your collar.

Despite your audience, you continued until you felt your stomach protest. You used the back of your hand to wipe away the moisture, black dirt was smeared across your skin. It was then, and only then, that you forced yourself to look past the walls of your prison, your enclosure.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” The woman said, walking close to the glass. You could see her clearly now, there was an heir of recognition about her, in the same way that there had been with the Black Widow.

“You were in my head.”

“For a while. It’s my job. But your thoughts are also deafening.”

“Sorry,”

This woman was intoxicating. Alluring and beautiful in her presence. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt hugging her form. You weren’t positive what time it was- what day it was- but it could be late into the night. She looked like she was roused from sleep, and a part of you felt guilty for the fact.

“Don’t apologize, sweetie.” Her voice was much more tender than it had been a few moments ago. “You can’t control being brought back from the dead. A lot of trauma comes with that.”

You stood shakily and walked closer to the glass. They’d taken your shoes and the tile under your feet was frigid. You crossed your arms over your chest and shivered into yourself. You didn’t want to think about the fact that they had undressed you, probably taken your clothes for testing. Instead they left you in a blue set of scrubs.

You averted your stare from your own reflection, not willing or ready to look too hard. You’d much rather look at this stranger, your heart not slowing, your head pounding. Nothing but a simple pane of glass separated you.

“And I was brought back from the dead, wasn’t I? That wasn’t a fucked-up dream where I got hit by a car and then poof God, if there is one, decided that me of all people was worth bringing back.”

She lilted her head, quirked an amusing brow at you. A chill flushed down your spine and seemed to fizzle out at your toes. This woman was gorgeous and terrifying and made you want to squirm. But if this was prison, you had to assert dominance. Right? That’s what Wentworth taught you.

This cell didn’t look or feel like Wentworth, and this Warden had an amused smile tacked to her lips like she had heard your every thought. And she had. At least you assumed that she did. She’d mentioned her wife earlier, and the woman’s body against your own was plaguing you like a runaway freight train.

When she didn’t say anything, you clawed to fill the silence “I want to talk to Bruce.”

“Bruce? Honey, he’s off world.”

“Off… world.” You laughed, softly at first but then almost manically, tears forming in your eyes that you wiped away with your cold fingers. “No, no, that’s really cool. I worked a 9-5 and now I can’t talk to Bruce because he’s in Outer Space.”

“Maybe not outer space, maybe another dimension.”

You leveled her with a humorless glare. She had both of her hands up as if she wanted to comfort you, or the caged animal you had become. You had to give her credit, she seemed just as horrified as you were. She offered up a dim, faltering smile.

There wasn’t a way for you to process this in a gentle manner, there was no one to guide you through it other than Jenn. She’d done this before, lived a whole life that was flipped upside-down and she’d come out on the other side. It was the uncertainty that scared the hell out of you.

“You were in my head earlier,” You stopped suddenly, pressing your fingers against the glass. The woman didn’t flinch. Your frantic breath fogged with each exhalation. “Do you know why I came back?”

She shook her head, “No. Do you remember what you were dreaming about?”

“No.” A weak chuckle, you let your hands drop. “At least we’re on the same page.”

The nurse they allowed to enter through the side of the containment unit took cautious steps towards you that made your chest ache. All your life, people had said how welcoming and kind you were; how they were never afraid to come to you with their worries. It had bothered you before the incident, before your death, but now you missed seeing the stare of those who didn’t harbor any fear.

She was small, a mouse of a thing that had pale blonde hair and startling blue eyes. Her name tag read Julia. Your mind rushed with the paths she’d taken to this place. She must be interning here, much too young to hold a classification herself.

Your finger twitched on your knee, palm sweaty. It’s heat radiated through the thin blue fabric of the pants they’d provided you with. You hated needles, always had. But, you struggled to stay still and the effect that had on poor nurse Julia was making you fidget more.

There was a scent about her. It was under the layers of hairspray, nail polish, and shea butter. It was a sweet metal that made your stomach swirl. Was it her sweat? You’d never smelt anything past walking by the bomb that was the boys locker room, and it certainly had never been this tantalizing before.

Your eyes met hers, crystal blue and uncertain. “You’ll just feel a little pinch”

This is when you pulled your gaze back and instead focused on the cream colored walls. There was no problem with needles, you’d dutifully sit for your flu shots, but something about the sharp edge pushing through a layer of skin and fat before hitting your vein made you nauseous.

“We just need enough to run a few tests.” Julia soothed.

She was a normal nurse in that one, small way. Your mind was itching, blood seeming to congeal. It refused to cooperate and her burning touch was all but dominant against your skin. You both waited for the small tube to fill with black liquid. 

Finally, you felt her press the gauze against the crook of your arm and withdraw the needle. Another small pinch and then a massive relief. Her smell hung around you and filled the room. There was an undeniable urge to sink your teeth into her. To taste her.

You’d stopped the elevator just hours before to assess your penchant for brain consumption, but this wasn’t that. This was an intoxicating pull. This was animalistic, the same rush of emotion that had flooded you without prompting during your earlier conversation.

Julia squeezed your shoulder calmly, not entirely over her own reservations, but on the penance that she was a nurse and this was her job. You kept yourself rooted to the bed, fingers digging into the wood. She left the room and you could hear the compressed lock reseal you inside, breathing a sigh of relief.

That sweet odor lingered, and your reaction to it scared you more than anything. The wood beneath your fingertips splintered, and suddenly that anger, that fear, rolled away to shock. That wasn’t… normal. None of this was normal, but you weren’t exactly picked first in sports either.

You were a middle kid, a I guess I wouldn’t mind having you on my team kid. Suddenly your fingers were cutting through wood like it was butter. You let out an indignant squeak and shifted the blanket until the slashes were covered.

“Is everything alright?”

Wanda, you had learned that her name was Wanda, occupied her usual spot in front of the window. A slick sweat covered your forehead. She was holding a small tray that had a steaming bowl of soup and a delicious hunk of French bread.

“I figured you were hungry,” She lifted her chin towards the panel next to your door. “May I?”

“I’m at your mercy.”

And you were, truly. You hadn’t seen anyone but her since you’d woken up. There were shadows of others, people that made the pit in the center of your stomach grow three sizes. You knew exactly what they were doing, you watched enough true crime with Jennifer to know.

Here was this beautiful and powerful woman offering you food and words of comfort, and you allowed yourself to fall for all of it. Listlessly. Because what did you have to lose? You’d already died, and the thought of putting your family through the heartache of resurrection and then possibly enough committal to the ground was too much.

So, let her Stockholm syndrome you. The food smelled divine.

Wanda didn’t hold the same fear that Julia had. In fact, once the compression of air signified that it was okay for her to enter, she did so without hesitation. She set the food down on the equally dull side table and lowered herself onto the corner of the bed, making herself at home.

She’d changed into a pair of jeans, a simple t-shirt that had the outline of SHIELD on its sleeve. You frowned, for a company that does everything in its power to keep itself hidden, they sure loved that stupid bird so much.

“Go on, sweetie. You can eat.”

Wanda had a command about her that made you fold and listen despite any reservations. You took up a spot on the far end of the bed and shoveled the first spoonful into your mouth. An explosion of heady flavors coated your tongue, coaxing a low moan from your lips.

Blush rushed to your cheeks at the spark in the set of stormy eyes that watched you like a hawk. You rushed to break the tension. “So, what’s the plan here? Run a bunch of tests and keep me locked up?”

“Somewhat.” She paused, carefully thinking of her next words. “Y/n, I have the ability to get inside the psyche. Not only can I read every thought, every action, but I can control them too. It’s not something I like to do, nor something I want to. Not without permission.”

You frowned again. You certainly hadn’t given her permission to enter your mind before, and she tensed at the realization. But, you took another bite of soup and swallowed down the spiced broth. What’s done was done. You didn’t expect her to ask, much less admit to her wrongdoing.

“I prefer to ask. Can you tell me what you do for work?”

“Paralegal, the bar seemed like too much stress. But I’m good at my job. I was good at my job before a car turned me into sidewalk art.”

“Right, and your family, what about them?”

There was no desire to think of them and their perfect lives that you’d shattered with your death. Your mother used to sit in the tepid air on the porch swing, downing a glass of wine before she turned to you with tears in her eyes. She’d urge you to be careful working in the city. She’d plead for you to come home. More than anything, she’d utter the phrase a mother should never outlive her daughter.

“My mother is a seventh grade biology teacher and my father runs a painting business that’s been operating my whole life. They’re not very exciting people. They must be worried sick about me.”

Wanda nodded, “Any siblings?”

“Not anymore.”

She stilled at your words and didn’t pry. You were well aware of the fact that she could push through your deflections and learn the information that she wanted to know. But, you respected that she didn’t. Instead, she stared at you, and you stared right back, suddenly not hungry.

Wanda was someone that you felt the need to open-up to. Unlike the brief encounter you had had with her wife. Not that you let that word stick with you, not in the same way that her touch did. Again, you had to push the thoughts to the back of your mind, even if Wanda wasn’t prying.

Instead, she placed a warm hand on your thigh, sending a wave of shivers through your body. You suppressed a whimper at the sudden contact.

“I had a brother named Pietro. He was fast, unnaturally so. Neither of us ever wanted to be heroes, we didn’t think about the future like that. So, when the Avengers, these so-called saviors of the world, recruited us, we knew about the dangers. But it still shocked me when he died. He was my brother. He wasn’t supposed to be fragile like that.”

You stared at her with an amount of tenderness in your eyes that she wasn’t used to from the others. They cared, sure, but in the way that a co-worker would care enough to purchase cut flowers and a ‘sorry for your loss’ card. You were different.

“They’re our protectors.” You swallowed hard, mouth dry “when something drastic happens, it doesn’t seem real.”

“It still doesn’t.”

There was a lapse of silence that pushed memories in your direction. The burning cold weather on the day your own brother had died. You remember the scream that died in your throat and the way you’d knelt in the cracked snow until you couldn’t’ feel your legs or your fingers. It took an EMT with a heated blanket and a horror story about hypothermia to pull you to your feet.

“Jonathan.” You whispered.

She let out a questioning hum, pulling her feet from the floor and making herself more comfortable on the less-than-comfortable bed. “Your brother?”

“My older brother. I followed him around like a lost puppy, but he never complained. He was a hockey player and a damn good one too. He’d use the lake behind our house in Jersey to practice and one winter the ice broke underneath him. He drowned, and I was too weak to save him.”

Wanda let out a shuddered breath. You couldn’t read her facial expression. It was a mix of confusion, or sadness, but not pity and that was something you appreciated. You’d had enough pity, just as your family had enough grief without you adding to it.

She opened her mouth to reply, but both of you were startled when three quick knocks shattered the silence. The Black Widow, Natasha Romanoff, stood on the other side. She showed no interest in breeching the containment unit. Instead, she leveled her wife with a dark stare and held up a folded piece of paper.

“Excuse me,” Wanda whispered, giving your leg a settling squeeze.

She left the plate and exited the holding cell. Her words were muffled, but those unripe green eyes that Natasha possessed kept flicking to you nervously. She too, didn’t’ show pity. It was interest and if you were being honest, you thought you saw the smallest spark of fear.

Wanda took the paper from her wife, squinted at something you couldn’t’ see. You felt like you were at a parent teacher conference, just out of bounds of hearing but you could see their body language; the way that Natasha itched to move closer to Wanda, the fingers that the taller woman pressed to her lips, thumb creasing the paper.

Finally, Wanda turned back towards the glass. Natasha met your stare without issue, hitting the intercom on the other side of the cell. It was her who spoke, her raspy voice falling from the speaker.

“In the spirit of transparency, we want to be honest with you about your blood results.”

You stood from the bed, moving to one side of the barrier. They were intimidating like that, standing shoulder to shoulder with a natural beauty. It made you want to shrink. If not for the paper in their hands you would have curled into yourself at the sight.

“Don’t tell me I’m dying.”

“No, honey.” Wanda shook her head, “Quite the opposite, you’re getting stronger.”

“I don’t understand.”

Natasha lifted an eyebrow and pressed the paper against the glass so you could read it. None of it made sense, it was lines of DNA that looked like musical notes. You shook your head, giving her a confused look.

Natasha scoffed, peeling the paper from the surface of glass. Wanda bit her thumbnail nervously. “According to these…You’re Asgardian, Kitten.”

[Taglist💕: @dannipotatoo, @non-binary-frogking, @mysticalmoonlight7, @metanoiablxxm, @coxlong, @b3nzzzzz, @simpforlizzie, @delulu-bayolet-era, @dorabledewdroop, @crescentcrush, @roselockwood, @ellieromanov, @leenasayeed, @theowlappears, @pitifulbinx, @pepemyfantasy, @tekanparadiae, @skittlebum, @mariabeloskivismyoc, @natsbiggestfan1, @marvelwomen-simp, @cinffy23, @kyky-maximoff, @natalierushmansstuff, @bstvst, @lezzylover, @404-almostdone, @mishimrno, @maxidentbby, @shayarshucky, @merlinsouls, @neothepotato]

[sycamorelibrary754]

A Silent Understanding

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Platonic Fem!Reader Fem!Reader x Avengers

Summary: Living next door to Natasha Romanoff makes it difficult to overlook when something is off. During a weekend getaway at the Bartons' farm in Iowa, a revelation about Clint shakes the team. Thankfully, you may be able to help.

Word Count: 5k

Genre: Fluff, light angst.

Warnings: Mentions of hearing loss.

A/N: Sorry for the delay in stories! I started a new job and have been busy. I plan to work on the next chapter of Guardian Angel this weekend. 

It was nothing. Probably. 

Honestly, when it came to Natasha Romanoff, you could never be entirely sure. That ambiguity was just part of her charm. Still, you made a conscious effort not to overanalyze the situation. It wasn't your fault after all. Just because your room conveniently shared a wall with Nat’s didn’t mean you were resigned to being a witness to her nightly escapades. You had heard her slip out of her room repeatedly, always so stealthy that it felt more like a shadow flickering at the corner of your vision than a person making a move. You couldn’t help but wonder where she was going, but you were determined to convince yourself it was likely nothing. Probably.

As you settled down at the communal table for breakfast, you desperately tried to push thoughts of your teammate and friend to the back of your mind. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee, mingling with the smell of vanilla, filled the air as Wanda took it upon herself to prepare breakfast for the team. The sight of her expertly flipping pancakes, her red hair cascading over her shoulders as she hummed a soft tune, brought a sense of warmth to the morning.

“Could you pass the butter, Clint?” Tony asked from across the table. 

Clint didn’t respond; he didn’t even look up from his plate of pancakes. 

“Yo, Robin Hood,” Tony called louder, pointing at the butter dish. 

Kate nudged Clint, causing him to look up from his plate. 

“Ooh, sorry,” the archer said as he passed the butter. 

You couldn’t help but notice how Natasha’s gaze lingered on him, a blend of empathy and concern in her eyes.

Clint shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his fingers drumming nervously against the table. He cleared his throat, eager to redirect the conversation. “So,” he began, glancing around the room as he spoke, “Laura and I thought it might be nice to escape the chaos. How would you all feel about joining us for a little getaway in Iowa this weekend? You can bring the kids, too.”

“That sounds nice, Clint. Consider your invitation accepted,” Steve said as he sliced into his pancakes. 

Wanda's face softens, a warm smile spreading across her face. "That’s so kind of you to invite us. The boys would love to spend time with Laura and the kids. And I... I could use a break from everything."

Tony raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement on his face. "Iowa? What's the plan, Barton? Cornfield sightseeing?”

Pepper pinched Tony’s arm as he shrieked. “We would love to, Clint. Thank you for inviting us.”

Tony rubbed his arm. “I'm in, but only if a high-tech farm equipment expo is involved."

Thor grinned enthusiastically as he bit into a slice of crispy bacon. "A getaway, you say? Verily, I am in!“

"Bruce looked up from his plate, a hint of interest on his face, “Iowa, that sounds nice. Peaceful.”

Yelena raises an eyebrow, her expression a mix of curiosity and amusement. "Iowa. Aside from freezing to death in the middle of nowhere, what's there to do?" She smirked, leaning back in her chair with a glass of orange juice. "Still, it could be... entertaining. Count me in, Barton. But don't expect me to go all rustic and start milking cows."

“You’re going to love it, Yelena,” Kate replied as she poured herself another cup of coffee. “The Barton’s farmhouse is like something straight out of a John Steinbeck novel.”

“Steinbeck was one of my favorite authors,” Bucky said, a hint of nostalgia in his voice as he drizzled rich, golden maple syrup over fluffy pancakes, the sweet aroma wafting through the air. “I’ve read Grapes of Wrath three times.”

“I’ve always had a soft spot for East of Eden,” Steve remarked, a wistful spark igniting his eyes as he remembered the book.

“How very James Dean of you,” Bucky kidded, leaving Steve looking momentarily puzzled, his brow furrowing as he processed the reference.

“Who’s James Dean?” Steve asked, leaning in with intrigue painted all over his face.

“Just add it to the list; we’ll watch it while we’re in Iowa,” Sam murmured, almost to himself.

“It’s a movie? I’m lost,” Steve replied, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“Hey, Grandpas focus!” you shouted, shaking your head. Turning your attention to Clint, you added, “It sounds great. I think a little country getaway would just be what we need.”

Clint nodded in agreement before digging into his towering stack of pancakes. The kitchen fell back into silence, broken only by the soft sounds of forks clinking and plates being passed.

Meanwhile, your gaze wandered back to Natasha, uncharacteristically a silent observer. She never resisted the allure of a getaway with the Bartons’. Usually, she’d be the first to jump at an invitation like this.

“You’re coming too, right, Nat?” you inquired, arching an eyebrow in her direction, hoping to coax her into the camaraderie that filled the room.

“What?” she replied, momentarily pulled from her thoughts. A practiced smile crossed her lips but didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Oh yeah, I’ll be there,” she assured, though a flicker of uncertainty lingered in her expression.

*^~^*

The following day, the team boarded the Quinjet with bags in tow. You had heard Natasha stirring in the night again; curiosity tugged at you, but fatigue held you back from snooping on her.

It was nothing. Probably.

The flight to Iowa felt like it zipped by in an instant, but perhaps that was because your thoughts were consumed by trying to decode the enigma of Natasha Romanoff. 

As soon as the jet’s ramp thudded against the ground, Nate dashed forward, excitement radiating from him as he lunged into Clint’s arms. 

“Hey, buddy! How are you?” Clint exclaimed, crouching to embrace his youngest son, his smile broad and warm.

“Great! I missed you! Can we play football?” Nate asked, bouncing on his toes, his eagerness infectious.

Clint glanced at Kate, a playful smirk creeping onto his face as she mimed throwing a football. It was a subtle gesture, but it didn’t escape your notice.

“Absolutely, kiddo. How about we round up some tag-a-longs to join us later?” Clint suggested, chuckling as he looked at the group.

As you stepped into the charming farmhouse, the delightful aroma of freshly baked cookies enveloped you like a warm hug. Laura was pulling another tray from the oven, her face alight with joy as she spotted the group pouring in through the front door.

“Welcome, everyone! We’re thrilled to have you all here for the weekend!” she exclaimed. “With so many of you, a few will need to share the spare rooms, but trust me, it’ll be worth it.”

“I call dibs on the big room!” you proclaimed, charging toward the staircase as if it were a child bolting for the last cookie in the jar.

“Oh, hell no!” Sam bellowed, his footsteps reverberating behind you, a blend of urgency and determination in his voice as Bucky swiftly trailed right behind him.

Before you could ascend another step, Sam's strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind, holding you in place with surprising strength. At the same time, Bucky swooped in, effortlessly tossing you over his shoulder as if you weighed nothing, the world below flipping upside down.

“Put me down, Barnes!” you yelped, laughter and frustration bubbling.

“Not a chance,” Bucky replied, his voice playfully firm. “Not until you agree to let me and Sam have the big room!”

“Never!” you shot back, squirming in Bucky's grasp. A grin breaks through your annoyance.

Ever the opportunist, Tony snagged a couple of freshly baked cookies from the table. He tossed one to Morgan, his laughter mingling with the chaos.

“This is going well,” Yelena said to Kate, her expression perfectly flat, as if she were declaring the weather.

Just then, a luminous swirl of shimmering red magic enveloped you, and in an instant. With a gentle touch, Wanda set you back on your feet.

“Thanks, Wanda,” you said appreciatively, straightening out your rumpled clothes, attempting to regain some semblance of composure.

“I’ll room with Y/N,” Natasha declared suddenly, her voice cutting through the chatter and catching everyone off guard, shifting the energy in the room from spirited chaos to surprised interest.

“Are you sure?” you asked, a mix of surprise and curiosity coloring your tone, given her recent late-night excursions that you definitely weren't still thinking about. 

“Absolutely. We can crash in my room,” she insisted, her demeanor confident as she effortlessly lifted both your bags and her own as if they were made of clouds.

“You have a room here?” you inquired, raising an eyebrow in intrigue.

“I insisted,” she replied with a teasing smirk, her sly glance toward Clint speaking volumes as he rolled his eyes in response.

Leaning closer, Natasha lowered her voice conspiratorially, “Besides, trust me, you don’t want that room anyway. It’s right above the chicken coop; you’ll be jolted awake by the clucking at 5 a.m.”

“Good to know,” you replied with a smile.

*^~^*

In the evening, everyone gathered on the front lawn to make good on Clint’s promise to Nate to play football. It may have been a friendly game, but you all took the competition seriously—probably too seriously—so you kept score, despite Laura and Pepper’s desire to keep it fun and friendly for the kids. 

“Alright,” Tony said, gripping the pigskin tightly. “We’re down by three, so it's time to push for the end zone. Play action. Belova, I need you to slip out to the flat; Thor, you’re stretching your Godly legs with a go route towards that old tire swing. Y/N, swing back with a button hook to midfield, and Clint, you’ll take a sharp post route to the left. On my signal—break!”

You lined up at the line of scrimmage as Natasha squared off opposite you. When Tony shouted, “Hike!” you took a quick stutter-step, trying to juke the redhead, but she was relentless, shadowing every move. Steve had Thor tightly covered in the end zone on the other end of the field while Yelena struggled to shake off Kate in the flat.

Tony worked through his reads, his eyes locked on Clint. Just as Clint broke free, he launched the ball toward the corner of the end zone—a perfect spiral you all held your breath for, expecting it to land flawlessly in the Archer’s hands. But instead, Clint was nowhere near the ball. In a flash, Wanda snatched it out of the air like a hawk. 

Bucky and Sam triumphantly hoisted the witch onto their shoulders, and Billy and Tommy burst into exuberant cheers. Their faces lit up with joy as they raced toward their mom, arms outstretched.

“Barton, what the hell? I said a post to the left!” Tony shouted, frustration bubbling over.

Clint, looking sheepish, rubbed the back of his neck and sank onto the grass. “Sorry, my bad.”

“Are you deaf or just ignoring me?” Stark didn’t relent.

“Let it go, Tony. We’re just here to have fun, remember?” Steve interjected, trying to mediate the brewing tension.

With a dramatic sigh, Tony rolled his eyes and went to the porch, where Pepper and Morgan were sipping cold glasses of homemade lemonade.

You glanced back at Clint, catching the fleeting embarrassment creeping across his face as Natasha rushed over to help him back on his feet. They exchanged a few words, the tension palpable before Clint turned and headed towards the barn, shoulders slightly hunched.

"Hey, is he alright?" you asked Natasha, concern lacing your voice.

"Yeah, he’s just worn out..." she said, her voice fading into silence like a thought left hanging in the air. She absentmindedly played with her arrow necklace, its delicate charm twinkling in the light as if mirroring her unease.

You sensed the fib beneath her casual tone; Natasha Romanoff wasn’t one to lie lightly. The realization shot a jolt of fear through you—she only masked the truth when something was seriously wrong. Just as you opened your mouth to dig deeper, Lila whisked Natasha away, leaving you to wrestle with the growing unease churning in your stomach.

It was nothing. Probably. 

*^~^*

“Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five,” Natasha called out, her voice steady as she easily powered through each pull-up.

You eyed her as you crawled under the covers. “You seriously installed a pull-up bar in the Bartons’ house?”

Natasha dropped down from the bar, her biceps flexing and glistening from the effort. “Got to fit in the workout where I can.”

With a roll of your eyes, you replied, “We’re supposed to be on vacation, remember?”

She smirked a glint of determination in her eyes. “No rest for the weary.”

You couldn’t help but mutter, “More like no rest for you, ever.”

“What was that?” Natasha asked, her expression curious as she climbed into bed beside you.

You shrugged it off, “Nothing, nothing. Let’s get some sleep.”

*^~^*

You knew that a second glass of lemonade was a mistake. As you slowly sat up in bed, a shiver traced down your spine when your bare feet met the cool floor. Carefully, you slipped out of bed, the faint creaking of the floorboards accentuating the quiet of the night. 

After a quick trip to the bathroom, you were confounded but not entirely surprised to find the bed empty. With curiosity stirring in your chest, you tiptoed downstairs, the dim glow of a small lamp guiding your way. There she was—Natasha—seated at the kitchen table, bathed in soft light, papers sprawled around her like a chaotic landscape.

“Nat?” you called softly, trying not to startle her.

She jumped slightly, her eyes widening with surprise—a rare departure from her usual calm demeanor. “Y/N, what are you doing awake?” 

“Just went to the bathroom,” you replied, tilting your head. “What about you?”

“Nothing important, just sorting through some mission reports,” she replied, a hint of urgency in her voice as she hurriedly collected the papers, a few slipping from her grasp and fluttering to the floor.

“Let me help,” you offered instinctively, reaching down for the scattered pages.

“Really, it’s not necessary; we should both get back to bed,” she insisted, but you were already focused on the papers in your hands.

Your brow furrowed as you picked up one of the scattered papers and read the title embossed at the top: “American Sign Language for Beginners.” 

“Natasha, what is all this?” you asked, peering over the edges of several documents strewn across the floor. 

She sighed, the sound echoing defeat as she gave up the pretense. “I’m learning sign language. Or at least, I’m trying my best,” Natasha admitted, her voice tinged with frustration as her fingers brushed over the pages, collecting them awkwardly.

“Why are you learning sign language?” you inquired, curiosity piqued as you watched her shuffle the papers into a neat stack.

“For Clint,” she replied softly, her gaze suddenly fixed on the ground. She sank back into her chair, her posture sulking as she avoided making eye contact with you.

“Clint? Why would Clint need to know…” your voice trailed off, the realization dawning on you like a heavy cloud. You felt a knot tighten in your stomach as the implications sunk in.

Instinctively, you pulled out the chair across from Natasha, the wooden legs scraping against the floor as you sat down, your mind racing with questions.

How long?” you asked softly, your tone coaxing her to open up.

Natasha paused for a moment, clearly burdened by her thoughts. Your heart ached as you noticed her attempt to wipe away a tear subtly.

After a few moments of silence, she finally responded, her voice barely above a whisper, as if she were sharing a secret too heavy to carry. “It's been a few months now,” she admitted, her eyes cast down, tracing an invisible pattern on the floor. “Clint’s hearing has been deteriorating significantly.” she confided.

“Okay, it's something," you murmured, glancing away.

Natasha furrowed her brow. "What are you talking about?

“Nothing.” You exhaled deeply, running your hands over your face in a futile attempt to shake off the dismal reality of what you were hearing. “Does anyone else know about this?” you asked, your voice tinged with concern.

“Just his family and Kate,” she replied, her voice wavering slightly. “He was planning to tell the team tomorrow—that’s why he invited everyone down here,” Natasha continued. “Laura and the kids are learning sign language. I wanted to be supportive, but honestly, it’s harder than I thought.”

“Is that what you’ve been sneaking out for every night?” you pressed genuine curiosity in your voice.

“Yes, I guess I’m not as quiet as I thought,” Natasha admitted as she ran a hand through her tousled red hair.

“Not when we share a wall,” you shot back playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

She rubbed her bleary eyes, a mix of exhaustion and resolve in them. “It’s my only free time, and I didn’t want anyone else to find out before Clint was ready to share. He deserves that much.” 

“He does,” you replied, your tone serious as you exchanged a knowing glance with Natasha. The weight of the conversation hung in the air, creating a moment of solemnity between you. “Now, as far as ASL goes, I might be able to lend a hand.”

Natasha tilted her head slightly, a look of confusion crossing her features. “What do you mean?”

You offered a small smile. “I taught myself sign language during the pandemic,” you explained, a hint of pride in your voice.

Her eyes widened in disbelief. “You what? Seriously?”

You nodded. “I’ve always wanted to learn, and when we finally found ourselves with extra time at home, I came across an incredible teacher on YouTube. It became a sort of passion project for me.”

Natasha leaned in, intrigued but still processing. “You’re kidding? So that’s what you did in your room all those hours?”

You couldn’t help but grin at the thought. You began to demonstrate, your hands moving gracefully, the language flowing from you naturally like a melody.

Her curiosity piqued, and Natasha squinted slightly. “What does that mean?”

“I never kid,” you replied with sincerity. “But I love Clint, and I would be more than happy to teach you ASL.”

Natasha paused, staring at you with a mix of surprise and disbelief. You held your breath, unsure whether she was processing what you had just offered or if it was simply too much to take in. Suddenly, she sprang to her feet, and before you could utter a single word, she enveloped you in a warm embrace, her arms wrapping tightly around you as if she never wanted to let go.

*^~^*

As the sun rose on Sunday morning, its golden rays illuminated the Bartons’ farm, casting a warm glow over the bustling activities that filled the property. Brimming with enthusiasm, Cooper led Wanda, Billy, Tommy, and Morgan to the stables, where their trusty horses awaited. The scent of hay and the soft whinnies of the horses set the stage for a delightful morning of horseback riding as they explored the scenic trails that wound through the lush fields.

Meanwhile, Pepper and Tony ventured into town for a leisurely day of antiquing, though Tony's face hinted at his reluctance. He trudged along, trying to mask his impatience with humorous quips, while Pepper eagerly examined each shop window, her eyes sparkling with excitement at the prospect of uncovering vintage treasures.

At the farm, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Thor donned their work gloves, rolling up their sleeves to help Laura with chores that needed tending to. From mucking out the stables to tending to the garden, their camaraderie shone through as they shared laughter and stories amidst the rhythmic sounds of farm life.

Yelena and Kate whisked Lila off for a fun-filled shopping trip not far away. Their chatter and laughter blended with rustling bags as they browsed through colorful boutiques and quaint shops. 

In a quieter corner of the farm, Bruce found solace in nature. His favorite book was cradled in one hand as he meandered through the vibrant woods, absorbing the peace and serenity surrounding him.

Out in the field, Clint and Nate had turned an ordinary afternoon into an impromptu baseball practice, their shouts of joy ringing out as they tossed the ball back and forth. 

Meanwhile, you and Natasha hid out in her room, the soft afternoon light filtering through the curtains and casting gentle shadows on the floor. You sat close to her on the carpet, surrounded by a carefully arranged stack of papers and your laptop, which glowed invitingly with images and information.

“Alright, Nat,” you said, your voice steady and encouraging. “We’re going to start with the alphabet. Just like any language, it lays the groundwork for everything else.”

Natasha nodded, her striking green eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that spoke volumes about her commitment. “Okay, I’m ready.”

With a sense of purpose, you began to illustrate each letter, your fingers dancing gracefully through the signs, meticulous and fluid. 

“A,” you announced, forming the letter slowly with your fingers, ensuring she could catch every nuance. “B… C…”

Natasha watched intently, her expression serious as she mirrored your movements. You noticed the slight furrow of her brows as she concentrated, her mind absorbing the information like a sponge. The determination in her eyes was palpable as she navigated through the alphabet.

After you had guided her through each letter, you paused, allowing a smile to break across your face. “Great job, Nat. You’re picking this up fast.”

A hint of pride flickered in her smile. “Thanks. What’s next?”

“Now, we’ll move on to some basic phrases,” you said, turning your attention to the screen of your laptop where the phrases waited patiently. “These will help you communicate with Clint more effectively.”

You began with simple greetings, demonstrating each sign with care. “Hello,” you signed, your hand moving in a friendly wave infused with warmth.

Natasha practiced the sign, her hands imitating yours until it felt instinctive. “Hello,” she echoed, her voice soft yet infused with newfound confidence.

“Good morning,” you continued, demonstrating the sign while your thoughts lingered on the connection this would foster between her and Clint.

“Good morning,” Natasha responded, her hands moving with precision, an eagerness blooming in her gestures.

“Well done. Another crucial element to consider is your eyebrows. They also play a significant role in conveying intent,” you elaborated, gesturing with your hands to emphasize your point.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk dancing on her lips as she wiggled her eyebrows exaggeratedly at you. “I’ve always found that to be true,” she replied, amusement glinting in her eyes.

You rolled your eyes in mock exasperation and gave her a gentle nudge, both of you sharing a lighthearted moment. “In American Sign Language, eyebrow positioning serves as a form of facial punctuation,” you continued, your tone shifting to an educational one. “For example, raised eyebrows can indicate yes or no questions, while lowered eyebrows signal 'wh' questions: who, what, where, when, why, and how.”

As the lesson unfolded, you introduced more practical phrases. “How are you?” “Where is the bathroom?” “Do you need help?” Natasha intently absorbed each new sign, her unwavering focus visible in the slight tilt of her head and the determination etched on her face. You could see how deeply she wanted to support Clint, a silent vow manifesting in every movement.

Hours slipped by unnoticed, and as the sun dipped beneath the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, you pushed forward, guiding Natasha through more complex sentences and concepts. By the time the lesson drew close, she exuded a sense of proficiency in the basic signs, her confidence palpable.

“Thank you,” Natasha said, her voice rich with gratitude, her eyes glimmering with sincerity. “This means a lot to me… and I know it will to Clint.”

*^~^*

“Hey, you two. Where have you been hiding all day?” Steve called out as you finally hopped off the last step of the stairs.

“Oh, you know... just watching a Bond movie,” you replied, furrowing your brow as you spoke, unsure if the excuse was convincing.

“Come on, you’re a terrible liar, Y/N,” Tony shot back, a smirk creeping onto his lips.

Suddenly, Sam snapped his fingers with dramatic flair. “They hooked up!” he declared, eyes wide with amusement.

“Ow!” he yelped a moment later as Natasha playfully slapped him on the back of the head. “We did not!” she retorted.

Fortunately, just before you and Natasha faced further questioning, Laura announced that dinner was ready. A comforting dinner inspired by the flavors of Iowa graced the table, showcasing tender port tenderloin sandwiches. Each sandwich featured perfectly seared pork, expertly seasoned and grilled to achieve a crispy golden crust on the outside while remaining succulent and flavorful within. Accompanying this hearty main dish were creamy mashed potatoes, whipped to a velvety smooth texture with a touch of butter and a hint of garlic, providing the perfect comfort food contrast. A vibrant side of steamed vegetables sourced fresh from the local farmer's market rounded out the plate with a pop of color.

After dinner came your favorite part of any meal: dessert. A luscious chocolate-peanut butter pie adorned with a generous dollop of whipped cream and delicate chocolate shavings stole the show. You couldn’t help but fantasize about devouring the whole thing yourself. 

“Kudos, Mrs. Hawkeye! That meal was nothing short of spectacular,” Tony exclaimed, a gleam in his eye. “You could give Pepper a run for her money in the kitchen. Fuck!” He yelped as Pepper pinched his arm once more. “Seriously, could you not do that?” 

“Daddy said a bad word!” Morgan piped up, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “That means he has to put a dollar in the swear jar!” 

“She's got you there, Tony,” Pepper smirked, giving her husband a playful look. 

Clint scanned the room, a deep breath escaping his lips, knowing this was the right time. He turned to the kids. “Hey, Nate, why don’t you take Billy, Tommy, and Morgan to see your action-figure collection?” 

“Ooh, yeah! I’ve got action figures of all our moms and dads!” Nate exclaimed as he led the trio toward his room.

Clint rose to his feet, the weight of his revelation etched across his somber face. His teammates, a family forged through countless battles, fell silent as their eyes locked onto him. "I need to share something important with all of you," he began, his voice steady but tinged with deep emotion. He took a breath, gathering his thoughts. "I’m not quite sure how to approach this, so I’ll just put it out there: I'm losing my hearing.

A palpable hush enveloped the room as each person absorbed his words, the reality settling like a heavy mist.

“It’s been getting worse for a while,” Clint continued, his voice wavering as he fought back tears. “I’ve tried to push through it, but…”

Laura, ever supportive, stood and took his hand, grounding him. 

Steve broke the silence first. "Clint, we’re with you through this, no matter what. You're part of this team, and we’ll find ways to adapt together."

Tony leaned back, a thoughtful frown on his face. "We can develop some tech to help. Hearing aids, custom communication devices—whatever it takes, we’ve got your back."

Bruce added with a comforting smile, "Science has made great strides. We can explore medical options and treatments, too."

Sam nodded earnestly. "You’re not in this alone. We’ll tackle this together."

“Listen,” Bucky chimed in, his usual bluntness shining through. “You’ve faced worse challenges. This won’t hold you back.”

Wanda's empathetic gaze landed on Clint. "Exactly. We’ll discover new ways to communicate. You’re irreplaceable."

“Laura, Kate, and the kids have started learning ASL,” Clint shared a hint of pride in his voice.

“Me too,” Natasha interjected, a smirk creeping onto her lips as all eyes turned toward her. “Y/N has been teaching me.”

“Since when do you know sign language?” Sam asked, clearly impressed.

“Since the pandemic,” you replied matter-of-factly.

“Seriously?” Yelena raised an eyebrow, intrigue brimming in her voice. "That's so cool!"

“Wait, is that what you were doing locked away in your room for hours?” Sam quipped.

“Yeah, what did you think I was doing?” you shot back playfully.

“Pay up!” Bucky suddenly shouted as Sam begrudgingly handed him a fifty-dollar bill.

“Honestly, I don’t even want to know,” you said, waving them off with an eye roll.

“Can you teach all of us ASL, Y/N?” Steve asked, genuine enthusiasm lighting up his eyes.

“Absolutely,” you said enthusiastically. “I can put together some lesson plans when we get home.”

“Y/N is an great teacher,” Natasha remarked, her hands flowing gracefully through the air as she skillfully demonstrated a series of signs you had taught her earlier.

“What does that mean?” Bucky asked, genuinely curious.

“We love you, Clint,” Clint managed to say, clearing his throat as emotion threatened to spill over.

Thor boomed with conviction, "A warrior’s strength isn’t found solely in their senses. Your heart and skills are what truly make you formidable, Clint."

Kate squeezed Clint's hand, her voice unwavering. "We’re here for you. Whatever you need, we’ll face it together."

The room buzzed with a profound sense of unity and determination. Clint's heart flooded with gratitude as he looked around at his teammates, their unwavering support shining brightly. "Thank you, everyone."

As the conversation continued with energy, ideas ignited, and plans began to take shape, the group rallied around Clint, united and determined to tackle this new challenge just as they always had—together.

Amid the lively exchanges, your gaze locked with Natasha’s. She smiled as she silently mouthed, “Thank you.” 

You responded in kind, returning the gesture with a subtle, “You’re welcome.”

[cinnamanz]

# DARLING, I — chapter thirty-seven!

when new york city’s widely-known spider-woman's life becomes unknowingly entwined with a member of the rising global girl group katseye, she learns that juggling superhero duties, university, and a sudden crush may or may not just be the downfall of her. but hey, at least she's helping people, right?

SPIDER-WOMAN

it wasn’t often that manon left the house on her own — either dragging daniela or megan along with her to stroll around the streets of nyc to shop or simply have a breath of fresh air — being strictly forbidden by management in case a fan or a stalker had managed to find them, regulating safety in numbers every time.

however, after the events that occurred the past few weeks, the girls decided that it was better if manon was given time for herself. it was something to get used to, the feeling of loneliness stacked on top of responsibilities within the group. and if it were a few weeks ago, she could just go on twitter and stalk y/n, see what she’d been up to or think of ways to talk to her, perhaps hint for a second date, or try and find spider-woman’s whereabouts to distract herself.

though it’d dawned on her, on a friday night after finishing up a call with her father that maybe she had missed the photographer a bit too much, never being able to quite focus whether it came to learning a new choreography, or paying attention to conversations in general.

it was odd. they hadn’t talked for that long or gone on many dates, a mere few months with barely meetings in person, yet she couldn’t get her out of her head. it was like she’d imprinted herself on every nook and cranny of her brain, pushing any other thoughts she might have that wasn’t about her.

an experience it was, truly, to watch who may be the love of your life slip through your fingers and have nothing to do to prevent it, and she’d never felt so low and weak her entire life. what could’ve been-

“hey!” 

a startling shout pierced through the air, snapping her out of her reverie and flicking her eyes up to the source of noise and oh my god, is that spider-woman? the woman in red spandex swung towards her and landed expertly in front of her, the ghanaian woman blinkling in confusion. though before she could get a question past her lips, spider-woman had carried her bridal style and swung past buildings, arms wound around her waist as the strong gust of breeze felt like a slap to the cheek.

a delayed yelp was lost in the air as the two were flung up mid-air, spider-woman glancing down at her in confusion. “did you not see the news? rhino’s escaped prison, and he was heading your way.”

the hero's voice was strained, something manon had dismissed as effort from both carrying her and swinging at a fast rate, feeling her stomach drop when spider-woman had made a particularly large drop and coming hurtling down before swinging back up, the arms that were around other other’s neck tightening as she buried her face in her neck, eyes screwed shut.

landing beside a cop car, spider-woman gently placed manon down on her feet. standing there for at least a few seconds and staring at manon before reaching a hand up to fix the scarf she’d had wrapped snugly around her neck, adjusting the grey fabric and making sure it was back to how it looked before.

“stay safe.” what the absolute fuck.

masterlist 🕸️🕷✮⋆˙ next

guys this is so ass bear w me im so fucking rusty

taglist : @yeetaberry127 @urmom2314 @lararajjj @artrizzler19 @ninguitar @ohmyhaely @firstclassjaylee @meganskiendielsbtc @sed7ction @modanisgf @vrtualstar @ssamlovr @grahstumhurts @sixflame438 @fearnotfearmore @c-yerim @taikabui @saturn-projector @uchinagai @goofymickeyr @rosiehrs @lunawriteskstuff TAGLIST OPEN!

[wings-of-ink]

Hello everyone!

(A quick note, this is tagged as mature due to the brief touch on spicy content for subscribers, but there's no real "mature" content below, it is just a list of warnings.) The warnings are typed with strikethrough in case you would rather skip this part.

I'm just stopping by to give you some broad updates on what is cooking on my side of the screen.

Chapter 6 is up to 86k words. I have a feeling it may end up the biggest yet. I have about six segments left to finish. The goal is to finish this for release to subscribers in July – take note that this is my personal goal and not a deadline. I am not setting a deadline because it sets me up for failure. There's substantial pressure when working toward a specific date and it will ultimately create more delays for me. If it goes up in July, subscribers will have it 30 days in advance of the public release. Saves will be broken – just expect this. Likely, hard saves will not work either. There will be substantial corrections in the previous chapters and added content in Chapter 5. Some coding will have also changed.

For June subscribers on Patreon and Ko-fi, Zahn is up to bat!

Crow Tier:  Expect a heartwarming story featuring Zahn (gender selectable). Posting date: 6/15

Raven Tier:  Expect a steamy and kinky exchange with Zahn (cis woman). Posting date: 6/15

Warnings/Menu:  Bondage of RO, consensual light rough play, overstimulation, light orgasm denial, squirting, optional content related to reproduction (if specific MC characteristics are chosen).

Note that if female Zahn does not tickle your fancy (as indicated by past polls, most have reported to prefer male), I have implemented a way to read the story that sort of "switches" MC and Zahn. You'd want to be comfortable reading you/your MC as a cis woman though.

Both Tiers:  My goal is to have another teaser project sample posted this month as well. I will post publicly when I know for sure if this will get done. It may be toward the end of the month.

If Chapter 6 is ready in July, there will be no extras posted, and the below* will be moved to the following month.

If Chapter 6 is not ready in July, *there will be a series of side stories posted for both tiers that are much shorter. The Crow Tier will likely get a few cute ones with the ROs and probably some world-building ones as well. The Raven Tier will get a series of spicy "quickies," each featuring a different RO. These will not be interactive or gender-selectable for either MC or the RO, but I will try to have a variety of content to tickle your fancy.

In Lunan News…

I celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary! My spouse and I have been together for over 15 years in total and I still haven't managed to scare him away (not for lack of trying either).

My shoulder is not better. I met with my doctor and after lots of poking and prodding and wiggling my arm around, we worked out a different set of stretches and exercises for me to try. I've also been given a couple medications. They are pretty sure my rotator cuff is slightly torn or very irritated. If I see no improvement with the new regiment in the next few weeks, the next step is a MRI to take a look. This could eventually mean surgery which I am NOT jazzed about in the slightest. I am hopeful, with the meds and the new stretches, I do feel a bit better already and can use my arm with less pain after stretching. The plus side is, this does not currently and should not impede my ability to write. Thank the stars for that because otherwise I would go insane.

Work is still being ridiculous. I may have to do more overtime this month, but hopefully just during one week and then I'm done completely (or I'll at least not have to do as much). Eventually, once things even out, I believe I will be able to fully open my Tumblr inbox and also go through more of the backlog I have there already (approximately mid July). However, they sent out a request for "anonymous" feedback and I happily gave them all the fucking feedback they could handle (professionally, of course). We'll see just how anonymous it is, I guess. Who knows – maybe I'll be job-hunting and writing full time before too long, lol.

Our kitties are doing great! Arlo is obsessed with reflecting light and now chatters at the ceiling in anticipation of sunlight coming through the windows. Miles likes to watch me sleep – a lot.

Since you made it this far, how about some teasers from subscriber extras and Chapter 6!?

Chapter 6 – "Tarot" Card Scene:

The tingle is back in our fingers, very light and almost tickling. Once the first card is down, the tingle returns so you place a second, and then a third. After the fourth card is down, the tingle stops. The reader gestures for you to then flip your first card. The card is upright, depicting a large platform in the middle, held up by the silhouette of a giant person. The platform contains several buildings atop it, like a prospering city. "The Architect," they begin. "A common card for readings on relationships and a good sign at that. You are a foundation, a safe place for a relationship to build and thrive. You support and shelter your loved one even if they do not understand the type of help they need or how much. If you or they have any unresolved feelings, it's important to address them soon or cracks in your foundation can ruin the entire structure."

Zahn spicy extra:

There are many things you love about Zahn, but chief among them is her willingness to play with you. She trusts you implicitly when you want to try new things, she instigates just as much. Even when things don't go very well, she laughs it off with you, always saying, 'At least we tried something new.' She's always there to laugh with you when it's awkward and never puts down your ideas or makes fun of your desires. So, for her birthday, you are going to love her as hard as you can.

I hope you are all safe and well. This year is flying by so fast. I can't believe it is already Pride Month (aka June)! I wish I would have had the time to compile some extras to celebrate, but that will need to wait until next year. Just remember that Pride is eternal. Nothing can take that away. Be safe as you celebrate and find joy in who you are.

Happy Pride, my loves. ^_^

[a-babe-without-a-name]

Sit Next To Me

Chapter 7: 65 Days

You had created two rules for yourself.

Rule One: You could do whatever you wanted. Get the degree you want, party when you want, cancel plans when you want, love who you want. Whatever you really wanted to do, you were going to do, anxiety and guilt free.

Rule Two: You could do whatever you wanted, except for have relationships with classmates. No sex, no dating. If they were on the same course roster as you, they were off limits.

Easy enough, right?

…Right?

Viktor x Female!Reader - 18+

A.N. Sorry for the delay on this chapter!! My laptop broke, so that kinda put writing to a halt for a bit. We're back in business, though!

ALSO!! In incredible and crazy news! @nervousandaggressive made fanart for this fic?!?!?! Which is so cool and I am so incredibly honored that my writing inspired it. I straight up cried when I got the notification, because this is genuinely the coolest thing ever. Links below for the art, and check out their page for their other work :)

Vik in his party outfit from last chapter

And some Vik + Rio sketches!!!

Read on AO3

When you woke in the morning, you told yourself that the memories of last night had just been a dream, the type that turned into a nightmare right before waking up. The ache in your jaw and Lest’s empty bed told you otherwise. Viktor’s heavy coat was still wrapped tightly around you, holding in an unnecessary amount of body heat. You shifted uncomfortably, sitting up on your forearms with a groan. You felt dirty, in the same sweat soaked clothes as last night, makeup smeared around your eyes, and teeth unbrushed. Which, considering the service you had provided last night, was particularly uncomfortable. 

You slid off the bed. You hadn’t felt drunk when walking home last night, but a wave of nausea and the way your legs shook told you that your body was still struggling against the alcohol in your system. You steadied yourself against the bed, waiting out the feeling. When you were sure you’d be able to walk without throwing up Red Bull and vodka, you pulled the blinds shut and began to peel off last night's layers. 

You shrugged out of his coat, inspecting it for any rogue makeup or glitter you may have left on it. Luckily it stayed clean while you slept. During your examination, you did find ‘V. Sýkora’ stitched sweetly into the back of the collar, just above the flannel lining. The red thread was faded and fraying on some of the letters, worn in with the jacket over time. You pressed the collar to your nose, breathing in the scent of him. It was stronger on this than on either of the shirts you had stolen from him, you wished you could live in it forever. He wore this coat nearly every day though, he'd want it back. He probably wanted his t-shirts back, too. Tears pricked your eyes, not at the idea of giving him back his clothes, but at how much of a mess you had let this become.

You sighed, draping the coat over the back of your desk chair and continuing to get undressed. You had fallen asleep fully dressed, only managing to kick your sneakers off before climbing into bed. The tall socks had left itchy red lines around your thighs and the grass stains on the knees reached your skin. You tossed them, along with the rest of your clothes, into your laundry bag before heading to the shower where you were sure to spend most of your time overthinking.

-----

Before your hair even had time to dry, you were hesitating in front of Sky’s door. Every time you were about to step foot onto her cutesy welcome mat, a fresh rush of cowardice would send you reeling back down the hall. You stood there, fine-tuning the apology you had written in the shower for a few more seconds before walking back to the door. You did this what felt like a dozen times. 

You did this until Sky’s door opened on its own as you retreated once again. You gasped and spun around, expecting to see Sky heading out to enjoy her Saturday. Instead you were met with the sight of Viktor in the open door frame. He furrowed his eyebrows, taking you in for a moment before glancing over his shoulder and shutting the door behind him. He took a hesitant step, fist tight around the handle of his cane. His face held the same slight tension as when he was pouring over a new concept in class he didn’t quite understand yet. He opened his mouth, words hanging just behind his teeth, but decided against it. You couldn’t speak to him. Not right now, and to some degree he could tell. He let out a short, shaking breath and walked past you without a word. 

That was enough to force you to Sky’s door, giving a sharp knock before you could back down. Your fists were balled at your sides in an effort to keep you from picking at the skin around your nails. Instead you opted to dig the tips of your nails into the palm of your hands, hard enough to leave marks. When Sky opened the door a tired question of Viktor’s name was halfway out of her mouth, falling short when she saw it was you instead.

“Oh,” She eyed you with a tired hesitation. 

“Hey,” You said, curling your shoulders in on yourself and slouching, hoping to ease any idea that you came here in anger, “Could we…could I talk to you?”

She nodded, still watching you cautiously as she let you into her room. Her bed was unmade and she was still in her PJs. Viktor must have woken her up. Part of you felt bad for interrupting her morning, but this had to happen now or you knew you’d never do it.

“What’s up?” Sky shifted her weight from foot to foot, her arms were crossed over her stomach protectively, fingers yanking at a loose thread on her sweatshirt.

“Sky I…” Your throat closed up, the apology speech you had rehearsed on the walk to her dorm room drying to a crisp on your tongue.

“Listen, It’s fine,” She let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head as she tried to brush you off, “Lest shouldn’t have said anything, it doesn’t need to be a thing.”

“It already is a thing,” You pointed out, nails back to digging in your skin, “Just…give me a second, okay.”

She sighed, looking at you the same way someone would look at a wet stray cat, with pity and disgust.

  “Would you like a cup of tea?” She said, turning to the counter under the window behind her. Two used mugs already sat there, she must have offered Viktor the same thing.

“Yes please,” Having something in your hand would make this easier.

Sky pulled out a fresh mug, dropping a teabag in as she started the kettle up. You followed her lead as she took a seat in her desk chair. The other one already angled towards her, where Viktor had been only minutes ago. The water only took a few seconds to boil, already warm from earlier, and she stayed sitting as she reached over to fill the mugs. You took the one she slid towards you, holding it tightly. Letting the hot water reach through the ceramic to burn your palms. She watched you expectantly, waiting for you to say what you came here to say.

You took a heavy breath, hoping you didn’t look too pitiful when you told her, “I’m so sorry, Sky.”

She nodded, taking a sip of her tea. Letting you go on.

“I’ve been a horrible friend,,” You tried to organize your thoughts from earlier, “and I don’t…I don’t expect to be forgiven. I just need you to know that I know. I know how I’ve been acting. I know I’ve been childish and nasty. I knew you liked him, I knew you were talking to him first, and I still crossed that line. I tried to lie to myself and say it didn’t matter, that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but we both know that’s not true…” 

You let out a shaky breath, realizing your apology was on the verge of becoming a jumbled mess, “And I’m so so sorry. If I could go back and undo it all, I would…but I can’t. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Sky stared into her mug. Chewing on the inside of her cheek as she conjured up a response.

“Viktor turned me down,” She told you, meeting your eyes and giving a sad laugh, “Just now. Part of me knew he would when I asked him out, but when he didn’t give me an answer right away, I just…hoped I guess. I shouldn’t have, I mean, he’s obsessed with you. I don’t think everyone else sees it yet, but for months I’ve been watching him watch you.”

“Sky I-” You shook your head, trying to protest, but she raised a hand to stop you.

“C’mon, I know you know,” She scoffed, rolling her eyes at you, “How couldn’t you? It honestly baffles me that you won’t just date him, like fucking around with him at parties and spending all your time with him isn’t practically the same thing.”

You tried to hide the way her words made you flinch. You wondered if the rest of your friends could see what was going on. If you were really this obvious. 

“I never thought you’d be…mean?” She said the word like it wasn’t quite the right descriptor, “To me. Despite all of it. Despite the fact that I am certainly not a threat to whatever it is you want from him. Then last night you went out of your way to get what you wanted, because you always have to get what you want.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself, she didn’t let you.

“Don’t pretend like it wasn’t on purpose. I saw you.” She said, leaning forward in her seat, “I saw you last night, watching us. The second you decided he was giving me too much attention, you took him back, blew him in the backyard to remind him who he really wanted.”

You couldn’t help the tears that welled in your eyes, blinking them back. Urging them not to fall. It was an odd feeling, to be scolded by the kindest person you knew. It was embarrassing.

Sky gave an exhausted sigh, “But, at some point I think I moved on without realizing it. I expected it to hurt when he told me no. I expected to be a mess, the kind that can only be cleaned up by romcoms and a pint of ice cream. But, when he gave me his answer, I didn’t care. I’m glad he apologized for being a dick,” She laughed softly, “But I’m also glad he didn’t decide that he wanted to be with me all of the sudden, because that's not what I want anymore.”

You stared down at the undrank tea in your hand. Still hot, but going cold as you tried to piece together what she was saying.

“Basically,” She huffed, “I just don’t give a fuck anymore. You and Viktor can do whatever the hell you want. Fuck him, marry him, kill him for all I care,” She snorted a laugh, you could feel the tension ebbing away, “I don’t want him. All I want is for everything to go back to the way it was. I miss hanging out with you without feeling like you want to push me into traffic.”

Her tone was joking, but the idea that she had been able to sense the misplaced animosity you harbored was rough.

“I…okay,” You nodded, setting the tea to the side, “So we’re good?”

“Mostly,” She said, as you both stood up, she let you pull her into a hug, her curly hair tickling your cheek as she decided to reciprocate, holding you close to her. She laughed against your shoulder, “You and him are still dickheads, though, and you’re lucky I’m not vindictive.”

You laughed, “I know. I’m glad you're being…cool about this. But I want you to know I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t forgive me. I do really love you, Sky, I should never have let myself act like that.”

She pulled away, hands on your arms, “Do me a favor and work on that jealousy thing, yeah? You’re too pretty to act like that, really.”

“Okay, mom,” You laughed, “Can I get you lunch today? I know you said we’re good, but I’m still willing to buy your forgiveness.”

“Not today,” She said, squeezing your arm and stepping back, “Me and Lest have plans, but next time we get drinks, it's on you.”

You tried not to flinch at the mention of Lest. She had spent the night here as far as you knew. She must have been heading back to the dorm as you were on your way here. Sky was quick to forgive, even if you didn’t deserve it. Lest, on the other hand, was going to be a wild card. She was most likely still carrying all the rage that Sky refused to cling on to. You wondered if she’d still be in the room when you got back. You weren’t sure if you wanted her to be or not.

On the way out, you grabbed Viktor’s jacket from a coat closet that probably hadn’t been used since the dorm had been built over half a century ago. You had hid it there as you came into the building, knowing that wearing his coat to talk to Sky would’ve been a bad look. You realized you should have told Viktor to grab it on his way out. It’d be fine. You were heading to his house anyways, your truck was still parked in his driveway. If you were lucky you’d be able to drop his coat off and snag your keys without running into him.  

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see him. It was that you had no idea what to say to him. You had created this mess of friends and feelings and bad decisions, and it was going to take more than one conversation with Sky to smooth it all over completely.  You didn’t bother zipping up the coat as you stepped outside. You let the cold air slither in along your body, embracing the bite of it as a kind of punishment for your mistakes.

You flinched as a grey car came to a stop against the curb a few feet in front of you. You bristled, preparing to tell off whatever man felt like bothering you today. When the window rolled down, you found yourself wishing it had in fact been a random man.

Viktor watched you in the side mirror, “Where are you going?”

“Home,” You lied, refusing to move closer to him. 

“Your dorm is in the other direction,” He pointed out, when you didn’t say anything he sighed, “Would you like a ride to pick up your truck?”

“No, it’s fine.” You shook your head, “I can walk.”

He scolded you with your name, “It’s five degrees, you’ll get sick.”

“It was colder last night,” You said stubbornly, feet planted.

“Yeah, well you were drunk and upset last night,” He said, “And you shouldn’t have walked home in the first place.”

“Why do you care so much?” 

“God above,” He groaned, shaking his head. The backlights of the BMW lit up as he shifted into reverse and backed up until his window was where you were standing. “Because you are my friend and I care about your wellbeing. “

You crossed your arms over your chest, fighting off a shiver as a particularly strong gust of wind pushed against you, “I’m fine.”

He rubbed the space between his eyebrows, eyes squeezed shut, “Get. In. The. Car.”

You resisted the urge to stomp your foot on the ground like a toddler. Instead you walked around the front of his car, dropping yourself into his passenger seat. You shut the door with more force than necessary and turned to him with a huff, “Happy?”

“Yes,” He nodded, putting the car into drive, “Put your seatbelt on.”

“Put your seatbelt on, please,” You leaned over, looking at him pointedly.

He rolled his eyes, then plastered a sickeningly sweet expression on his face, “Will you please put on your seatbelt, Darling.”

“Hm, that’s more like it,” You turned up your nose, sitting back in your seat and buckling up. 

“Spratek,” He muttered under his breath as he pulled the car away from the curb.

You wouldn’t admit it to him, but you were glad you accepted the ride. His car was warm and overly clean and smelled like him. It felt like him, too, all clean lines and stoic shapes. Your European car knowledge was certainly lacking, but there was something eerily familiar about the interior of his car. 

“Is this a…Touring,” You asked, running a fingertip over the handle of the door.

“Yes,” He confirmed, “19…89, yeah, 89. Not the nicest car in the world, but it does the job.”

“It’s the same car my first boyfriend had,” You scoffed, thinking about the junker you had spent too much time in, “I hated it. It was ugly and red and a mess all the time… lost my virginity in that piece of shit car.”

“Oh, hm, I’m…sorry,” He said it like a question, a little taken off guard by the admission.

“I like your’s more,” You mused, leaning back and watching campus grow smaller in the side mirror, “It’s nicer, feels better. The car, I mean… well, I guess the sex, too.”

You laughed softly at your  own words, looking over to find a blush gracing his cheeks. 

“Thank you,” He nodded awkwardly, staring straight ahead. The way his demeanor shifted never failed to amuse you. One second he’s demanding you get in his car like he owns you, the next he’s turning red when you mention you liked having sex with him. 

“So…” You led, spinning one of your bracelets around your wrist, “What did you say to Sky? You don’t have to tell me… just curious.”

“I apologized,” He said, shrugging, “and I told her that I am not interested  in her in that manner, and I shouldn’t have led her to believe that I was by not turning her down immediately. I did tell her that anything that is happening between us is none of her concern.”

You hummed to yourself, taking in his words. The way he said ‘us’ left a weight in your chest. Us. Us. Us. 

“What about you?” He asked, glancing over, “What did you say?”

“I apologized for being a jealous bitch,” You scoffed, picking at the edge of your nail, “For being mean to her, breaking ‘girl-code’ and all that.” You rolled your eyes, feeling childish.

“I don’t understand,” He frowned, “What are you jealous about? What’s girl-code?”

“Girl code is basically, like, rules we’re supposed to follow,” You shrugged, realizing you had never had to explain the weird intricacies of being a girl to a man other than your father, “I mean, not like hard and fast rules, but basic stuff. Guys have the same thing, I’m sure. Things like keeping secrets or protecting each other, ya know. The number one rule, though, is to never ever fuck around with a guy your friend is interested in. Like, ever.”

“Hm, that only seems partially reasonable,” He said, “I told you that I was not interested in Sky before we had sex.”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t matter,” You said, “I knew she liked you, and I fucked you anyways. That wasn’t cool.”

“But even if we had not had sex,” He frowned at the road like he was looking at chemistry on a chalkboard, “It wouldn’t change the fact that I am not interested in Sky.”

“Yes, I know, but that's not the point,” You exasperated, “It’s the principle of it.”

“That is dumb,” He said plainly.

“Well, fine, you can think it’s dumb,” You tossed your hands up, “But that doesn’t change the fact that I hurt Sky’s feelings.” 

He was quiet for a moment, “How did she respond?”

“Graciously,” You sighed, “As always.”

“Why do you sound disappointed?” He asked, the car slowing as he pulled into the neighborhood.

“I’m not, It’s just that it felt,” You hesitated, trying to find the right words, “too easy? I guess.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know… I mean, she said that she doesn't care anymore,” You shrugged, “that she wants things to go back to normal and everything to just be cool, but I’m worried she’s still upset. That she’s just forgiving me to make it go away?”

“Well, if she is forgiving you before she’s ready,” He said slowly, “Then, that would be her problem, no? It’s not like you forced her to forgive you.”

“I mean, yeah, I guess?” Damn him for being so practical. You opened your mouth to continue to debate but he cut you off.

“Listen, you are not responsible for how other people feel,” He looked over sternly, “You apologized to Sky and, whether she’s ready to or not, she forgave you. At this point, it sounds more like you don’t forgive yourself, regardless of what she is feeling.”

Read you like a damn book. You huffed, dropping your head into your hands and scoffing a laugh, “I didn’t realize you were so introspective.”

“Jinx called me a fortune cookie last week,” He told you, “I’m not introspective, I’m just observant…and I think you are being too harsh on yourself. What good comes from dwelling on something that you aren’t even sure of?”

“I’m a scientist,” You laughed, leaning back in your seat, “Dwelling on the unknown is kind of our thing, right?”

“Kind of,” He agreed with a soft laugh, “But this is unproductive dwelling, not scientific dwelling.”

He slowed to a stop outside his house, car idling but not in park, both of you hesitating. Raindrops were beginning to darken the sidewalk and slide down the sides of your truck that sat waiting in the driveway. The wind whipped around a tree in the front yard.

Viktor spoke your name cautiously, “Do you have plans today?”

“No.” You said, looking over and meeting his eyes.

“Do you want to go on a drive?”

“Yes,” You spoke before he even finished his words and he was pulling away from the curb as you finished yours. 

Picking up your truck and going back to your dorm room ment you’d either be laying around all day overthinking or you’d be having a conversation with Lest. You wanted to talk to her, you did, just…not right now. Sky had seemingly forgiven you, but that wasn’t a guarantee that Lest was in the same mood. Being on the good side of Lest’s rage, you knew how long it took for her to cool down. Being on this side was new to you, but you knew well enough to leave her alone for as long as you could. You weren't sure of Viktor’s reasoning for not going home, but you were grateful either way. 

He just drove and you let yourself relax into the passenger seat. You watched him drive. Watched the perfect side profile of his face as he focused on the road, only moving as he glanced in the mirrors. He looked relaxed for the most part, but the tiniest motion of his eyes and lips let you know that thoughts were racing through his head. He glanced over you sideways, the corner of his mouth tugging just slightly upwards as he met your eyes.

“What?” You caught the slightest sight of his canine when he smiled.

“Nothing,” You shrugged not looking away from him, “You’re just nice to look at, is all.”

He rolled his eyes, but you caught the blush creeping past the collar of his sweater, “You are a strange girl.”

“Maybe,” You said, leaning forward to pull his jacket off your shoulders, you kept it gathered up on your lap.

“Here,” He grabbed his phone from where it was under the radio, an aux cord already plugged in, smirking as he handed it to you, “Stop staring at me and be useful, yeah?”

You scoffed, teasing him, “You thought I was useful last night…”

Another blush, he looked away from you this time as he sputtered, “Just- Just play the music, okay?”

“Yes sir,” You nodded firmly, taking his phone already opened on his music app, “Any requests?”

“Hm, no you choose.” He told you, hitting the blinker as the highway entrance came closer, “Just no Radiohead.”

“No Radiohead?” You mocked a gasp, “But If I wanted to be insufferable today?”

“I was insufferable enough for the both of us this morning,” He told you, “Pick something else.”

You laughed thinking about him listening to Thom Yorke whining over his radio as he drove to apologize to Sky, “Fine, but if it starts really raining later, we’re listening to In Rainbows, it’s only right.”

He just shook his head at you lightly as you scroll through his music to pick something. You took your time combing through his music. You always thought that music taste was the most telling aspect of a person. Some were what you’d expect from a guy like him - Radiohead, Arctic Monkeys, Fiona Apple, Jeff Buckley - some others you were a little surprised by - Paramore, Boygenius, Maya Hawke, Deftones - all of it what you’d consider good music. You were pleased to see female artists in the mix, older music, newer music, some classical and jazz, a few movie scores. Most of the albums were in English, a handful were in what you were pretty sure was Czech, and you could see one or two that were in Spanish - the same albums Jayce had put you onto. 

You picked one of the ones you thought was in Czech, the green and white cover art interesting enough to get your attention. He made a little noise of surprise when the first song started playing.

“You know this band?” He asked, an eyebrow raised as he glanced at you.

“No,” You told him, the music was definitely pop, teetering on the edge of bedroom pop, “The cover looked cool, what does ‘nedělní Luka’ mean?”

“Sunday Luka,” He told you, “This EP is good, I’m not a huge fan of the stuff they released after this. They're a pretty good band, though.”

“Hm, interesting,” You tapped your thigh to the beat, listening to the words you didn’t understand, “I like this alot actually.”

“Even though you don’t understand the lyrics?” He smirked.

“Eh, I mean I like the Cocteau Twins and I definitely don’t understand the lyrics even though they're mostly in english,” You shrugged, “I’ll google the lyrics to this later, probably. Can I text it to myself?”

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded, “I can send you more czech stuff if you want?”

“Make me a playlist?” You asked, knowing how hopeful you sounded.

He laughed softly, “I can do that, I’ll pick the best stuff. Round out your music taste a little.”

“Hey, I have great music taste,” You scoffed in mock offense as you copied the link to the album and opened up his contacts. 

You found your own number easily, starred at the top of the list along with Jayce and who you figured was his mother. You bit back a smile at the little ‘<3’ he had put at the end of your name. The picture above it wasn’t one you remembered him taking. It was from much earlier in the semester, when the weather was still nice. You were laying in the grass, probably on the quad telling by the abandoned textbook next to your shoulder, wearing that white sundress that only came out when the weather was particularly good. Your hands were behind your head, eyes closed as you basked in the sun. It was a good photo, you wondered if he’d be embarrassed if you asked him to send it to you.

A little embarrassment of your own was lifted off your shoulders. Clearly he stared at you as much as you stared at him.

You closed his phone before the urge to scroll through his camera roll became too strong and put it back where he had it originally. The eastbound highway that stretched out in front of you was fairly empty, rush hour having just ended. He stayed in the middle lane, shifting gears as he passed other cars he deemed to be going too slow.

“Where are we going?” You asked idly, reaching over to his hand that rested on the gear shift and pulling the cuff of his sweater between your fingertips. It was a little rougher than you had expected, You wondered if it was homemade. 

He pulled his hand away from the shifter and caught your hand, fingers lacing into yours. In a friendly way of course, “Unsure, anywhere you’d like to go in particular?”

“Hm, wherever,” You told him, rubbing your thumb over the side of his hand.

“Let’s just see where we end up, I guess,” He shrugged, glancing over at you, “Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect,” You agreed, squeezing his palm.

You learned pretty quickly that Viktor preferred to drive fast. You noticed him glancing over for your reaction each time he really stepped on the gas. It was sweet, though you didn’t mind the speeding. You trusted him not to kill you in a fiery car wreck, maybe a little too much. When the highway had narrowed, he was forced to slow down, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel and clearly doing his best not to tailgate the people in front of him. 

------

You weren't sure how long you had been on the highway. You hadn’t taken notice of the time when getting in Viktor’s car, but it was long enough for the suburban sprawl of Piltover to give way to dense pine forests divided only by farmland and tiny towns. Eventually the highway narrowed down to two lanes, winding through the trees until it hit the coastline where it took a sharp curve north. You watched the sprawl of the Atlantic outside your window, the waves dark and rough due to the weather. It had stopped raining above you, but out over the water you could see torrents falling in dark grey sheets. 

An irritated noise from him pulled your attention away from the oceanscape to your right. He was pouting at the car in front of him, thumb bouncing against the side of the steering wheel. You looked ahead at the car in front. An old sticker covered a Subaru wagon, not going below the speed limit, if anything it was probably going almost ten over. Clearly that was not fast enough for Viktor, and a fairly consistent stream of traffic on the other side of the highway kept him from passing. 

You laughed, leaning forward to examine the stickers on the car in front of you, “You’re in quite the rush to go nowhere, aren't ya,”

“Hey, I’m not rushing,” He insisted waving a hand at you, “I just want to be driving faster.”

“Well chill out speed racer,” You rolled your eyes at him, “You’re probably freaking out this poor lesbian in front of us, she’s gonna start break-checking you.”

“How do you know she is a lesbian,” He scoffed, but eased off the gas to give the subaru more space.

You leaned forward and read the sticker that had caught your attention, “I like my men how I like my coffee. Not at all, I prefer tea.”

Viktor barked a laugh, “Sounds like Cait.”

“Oh my god, literally,” You giggled, wondering if you'd be able to find a similar one online to gift her. You read out another sticker, “Honk if you think the moon landing was fake.”

“I don’t understand those,’ Viktor admitted, “Does that mean the driver thinks the moon landing was fake?”

“No, I think it means, like, ‘if you honk at me for my bad driving, you're actually admitting you think the moon landing is fake’ or something like that,” You explained, remembering when Lest had explained the same thing to you only a couple of years ago. 

“Hm, Interesting.” He nodded.

“What do you think?” You asked, leaning back in your seat.

“About?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“The moon landing,” You said, “Do you think it was fake.”

He side-eyed you, eyebrows furrowed in concern, “Do you think it was fake.”

“Well, not exactly.” You shrugged.

“Not exactly!?” He gaped at you, glancing between you and the road, “Actually, we’re going home.”

“No no, wait listen,” You laughed waving your hands at him in defense, “I don’t think the moon landing was fake! I one hundred percent believe that those guys were up there in ‘69.”

“Sakra, ‘those guys’?” He scoffed, “Really, are you not a scientist.”

“Hey, listen I know their names. But the good one is dead and the other is a psycho republican,” You laughed, “plus I’m not a space gal, you know that. I find the ocean far more fascinating.”

“Okay, okay, anyways,” He steered the conversation back to your original question, “Do you think the moon landing was fake?”

“No, like I said, I’m sure they were on the moon, but,” You held a hand up at Viktor, forcing him to let you finish, “I wouldn’t be that surprised if one day it was admitted that the footage everyone knows is fake.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, fighting back a smile, “I supposed that is an acceptable take, but you’re on thin ice.”

“I can give you some more of my bad takes if you’d like, but you might not want to hang out with me anymore,” You laughed, a growl from your stomach cutting you off.

“It’s past noon,” Viktor pointed out, laughing with you gently, “What was the last thing you ate? Did you have breakfast?”

You thought for a moment about the question. When you realized what had technically been the last thing you put in your stomach, you burst into a fit of laughter, and covered your reddening face.

“What?” He asked, confused as you tried to pull yourself together. 

“Nothing, it’s just, uh,” You bit back a smile and glanced down to his lap pointedly, “nothing.”

“Oh, fucking gross,” He scoffed, pushing your shoulder away from him playfully.

“You didn’t think it was gross last night,” You pointed out, teasing him with a poke in the arm. 

“Stop,” He pleaded, looking away from you, his face turning red as he resisted laughing.

“Oh come on,” You said, leaning closer to him, chin almost resting on his shoulder as you invaded his space and dropped your voice, “You don’t have to be shy about it, you can admit you loved coming in my mouth.”

He swallowed hard, hands tightening on the steering wheel in your peripheral vision, “You are very hard to deal with sometimes.”

You tapped your fingers against the bottom of his chin quickly before retreating back to your own space, “You wouldn’t like me very much If I made it easy on you,”

He didn’t respond to that, just shook his head as he hit his blinker and pulled into the center lane, “Well I’m making you eat something that has calories.”

“I’m sure cum probably has some calories, right?” You said only to get a rise out of him.

It worked perfectly of course, he whined your name, “stop talking. If you mention that one more time, I’m sending this car into the ocean with us in it, I swear to god.”

You raised your hands in defense, silently vowing to keep quiet as he waited to turn into the parking lot of a worn out roadside diner.

“Thank you,” he sighed, rolling his eyes as he pulled into the lot.

Gravel crunched under the tires as the Beamer slid into a parking spot. The diner was incredibly unassuming. Weathered and faded, but fairly busy with a Saturday crowd. You stretched when you stepped out of the car, shoulders popping as you pushed your hands to the sky. Viktor freed his cane from the back seat, waiting for you by the hood. When you reached him, he was twisting his spine awkwardly, a hand on his hip and a grimace on his lips as he tried to pop his stubborn joints. 

“You good?” You asked gently.

“Yeah, I’m used to it,” He groaned, then motioned for you to come closer, “Actually, could you come here.”

You stood in front of him, looking up as you were only a foot away. He took your hand gently, placing it on his hip, “Just, like, resist against me when I turn, yeah?”

You nodded, pressing against his hip. You did as he asked, holding his hip back as he rotated his upper body the other direction. A loud pop came from under your hand, and he hissed sharply before relaxing. He sighed, straightening up and grabbing his cane from where he lent it against the hood of the car.

“Feel better?” You asked him, looping the hand on his hip around his lower back instead of retreating, 

“Very,” He nodded, dropping his arm over your shoulders and pulling you closer, he squeezed the top of your arm, “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” You returned the gesture, squeezing his hip where your hand rested as the two of you walked up to the diner door.  

Inside it was warm, the smell of coffee permanently staining the air. The space was narrow but long, almost ironically classic in the way it was set up. A long counter was against one side and booths were pressed to the windows. The counter was occupied by blue collar men in their work clothes. This close to the coast you were sure they had all just come in from an early morning catch. They reminded you of your dad. 

“Go on ahead and find a seat anywhere, kiddos,” An older woman behind the counter waved at you before pouring another cup of coffee, “Someone will be with you in just a second.”

You nodded and followed Viktor to an open booth, untangling yourself from him to slide into the vinyl seat. He watched you from across the table for a moment before dropping his gaze.

“What did you mean earlier, by the way?” He asked, picking at the edge of a sticky menu.

“What?” You tilted your head, unsure of when exactly earlier was.

“You said that I wouldn’t like you if you made it easy,” He said, mouth quirking to the side as he thought about the moment, “What did you mean by that?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” You shrugged, chewing on your lip, “I guess…just most of the time, guys tend to like the chase more than the actual girl. It’s fun.”

“And you think I am like this?” He asked, meeting your eyes almost sadly.

“I don’t know,” You said honestly, “I mean, you don’t have me. Who's to say you’d still like me as much if you did?”

“I would,” He said firmly, “I know I would.”

Before the conversation could continue, a waitress appeared at the end of the table. An overly sweet smile plastered on her face, curly blonde hair pulled into a messy ponytail on the crown of her head. She looked between you, eyes hesitating on Viktor just a second longer than you would have preferred. 

“Good morning, my name’s Nancy, I’ll be taking care of y’all today, ” She said, her voice was high and smooth, “How are you two doing?”

 “Good Morning Nancy, we are well, and you?” Viktor responded, polite as ever.

“I’m doing just fine, thanks for asking,” She smiled wider, glancing at you briefly, “Can I get ya started with some drinks?”

“Just coffee for me,” Viktor told her, looking to you for your response.

“Me as well,” You nodded, attempting your best polite smile. She was just being friendly, you told yourself. It’s her job to be nice.

“Two coffees,” She repeated as she scribbled down the order, “Room for cream?”

“Yes please,” Viktor answered.

“Mine too,” You copied him. Normally you’d just drink diner coffee black, but that nasty little voice in the back of your head was answering for you.

“Easy-peasy,” She said, “I’ll have that right out for y’all.”

You watched Nancy walk away, curls bouncing as she went to get the coffee. Viktor was paying no mind, already skimming through the menu. You picked up your own. Standard diner food, easy enough to choose from. 

“What’re you getting?” You asked casually, glancing up at him over the menu.

“Hm, unsure,” He hummed, glancing up and catching your gaze, “Choose for me?”

“That’s a lot of trust,” You laughed, leaning back in your seat and raising an eyebrow at him.

He shrugged, “I trust you.”

“Okay, then,” You looked over the menu again, “Breakfast or lunch? And what do you hate?”

“Breakfast,” He nodded, “And nothing, I don’t think…eh, actually, no sourdough bread.” 

“You don’t like sourdough? That’s crazy, it’s like the best bread,” You scoffed, offended on behalf of the baked good.

“No, actually, I really like sourdough bread,” He said, “but, I’m sorry, it’s not very good in America.”

“That's a very European take,” You rolled your eyes, “You guys always think you’re better.”

“Listen, with this I am right, trust me.” He assured, “America does have some better… things.”

“Hm, like what?” You smirked at his tone.

“Most fruit is better here,” He nodded with an air of nonchalance,  “Oranges and pineapple, mango as well.” 

“Oh yeah?” You asked, pretending to be busy with the menu despite having already made a decision,  “Good fruit is a plus, for sure.”

“The women here are different, too.” He nodded, “All smiles and low-cut shirts. Very…eager to please.”

You scoffed, glancing back up at him with a retort on your lips already. It died in your mouth when Nancy, with her low cut shirt and wide smile, returned to the table with a set of mugs and a pot of coffee.

“Sorry about that wait,” She laughed, setting the mugs down and beginning to fill them, “Technical difficulties.”

“No worries at all, Nancy,” Viktor said smoothly, sitting up, “Thank you.”

“Of course, honey,” She drawled, you tensed at the term of endearment, “Are you ready to order or do you want a few more minutes with the menu?”

“We’re ready,” You jumped in, immediately regretting how snappy your voice was.

“Perfect,” She stayed facing Viktor, “When can I get going for ya?”

Viktor turned his face to you, nodding for you to go ahead.

“We’ll have the Florentine benedict,” You told her, placing the menu down in front of you.

“Perfect,” She said, turning halfway to you as she wrote it down, “Fries okay with that?”

“Yep.” You nodded and before she could ask, “and he’ll have the same thing.”

She turned to him anyway with a questioning look that he either didn’t see or chose not to acknowledge, “Okay, well, I’ll have that out for you here soon. Holler if you need anything.”

“Thank you, honey,” You gave a tight smile as she walked away.

“Ah, I see it now,” He nodded, narrowing his eyes at you slightly as he pulled his coffee towards himself.

“See what?” You leaned your chin on your hand, circling the rim of your coffee cup with the other.

“That jealousy you were speaking of earlier,” He smirked, “I hadn’t noticed it before. Maybe you hid it better, maybe there was too much going on.”

You hummed, nodding slowly as a blush creeped up your cheeks, “Maybe you just didn’t notice me.”

“That is funny. If there is anything I notice in a room, it is you,” He told you, then casually as if he hadn’t just said what he said, pushed the bowl of cream and sugar packets towards you, “Sugar?”

You swallowed hard, then pushed your mug towards him, “Make it for me?” 

“Are you sure? I make mine sweet,” He warned.

“I trust you,” You pushed the mug farther until it was next to him, “I’m not jealous, by the way.”

“Oh really?” He raised an eyebrow at you in disbelief, “So you were just glaring daggers at the waitress for fun?”

“I…I wasn’t,” You huffed, poorly defending yourself.

“You know,” He began, tearing open a few packets of sugar and pouring it into your coffee, “I don’t find jealousy attractive, but on you…it’s endearing.”

“Well, that’s sweet, but I’m not jealous.” You said sternly.

“Ah, okay,” He poured the same amount of sugar into his own drink, followed by a couple creamers, “So, you wouldn’t mind if I asked Nancy for her number.”

“Viktor, don’t fuck with me,” You deadpanned, frowning at him.

He laughed, sliding your made up coffee to you. Before his hand retreated, he grabbed you gently by the wrist. He held your hand in his, lifting it off the table and examining your palm, “Jealousy does look good on you, but you should know by now,” He flipped your hand over and leaned closer, “It is wholly unnecessary, milá.”

He pressed a kiss to your knuckles, lingering for a moment as he watched you through his lashes. 

You swallowed hard, cheeks burning as he pulled back from your hand. He held your hand for a moment longer before letting you retreat. You picked up the coffee he made up for you, taking a sip. It was sweet, sweeter than you’d normally make it. You liked it. You fought off the idea of tasting the same coffee on his lips. 

“You like?” He asked, siping his own drink.

“Yeah, it’s good,” You nodded, taking another sip before setting it down, “Thank you.”

“Hey, tell me more about these theories of yours,” He said, setting down his mug.

“Theories?” You tilted your head.

“The moon landing happened, but the footage is fake,” He laughed, “You said this earlier, I’m interested in what other baseless theories you have?”

You barked a laugh, “Okay, sure. My other space theory is that I do believe aliens exist. Like, the universe is theoretically infinite, right? It’s crazy to think that we are the only planet with living things on them, advanced or not. That being said! I do not believe aliens have ever been anywhere close to Earth.”

“Oh, really?” He mused, thinking about it, “Why?”

“Because, what the fuck do aliens want with us?” You shrugged, “Plus, if they’re gonna go through all that trouble to make ships or do whatever it would take to get from there to here for whatever reason, you really think they’d let themselves get caught by the American government? No way.”

“You’ve really thought about this, haven't you? ” Viktor laughed.

“Yeah, well my mom was obsessed with that ‘Ancient Aliens’ show when I was a kid and even at, like, nine years old I knew it was bullshit. Okay, Pretty Boy, your turn. What are your conspiracy theories?”

Viktor hummed, thinking to himself for a moment before speaking, “You know those people who say the Earth is flat?”

“Viktor, no,” You gaped, “There is no way you believe that.”

“No, hush, let me explain,” He laughed, waving you off, “I think people who say they think the Earth is flat are completely lying.”

“What?”

“I mean, I think they know that it is completely untrue,” He explained, hands gesturing in front of him, “but they like the attention they get from saying they believe the Earth is flat.”

You laughed, “Oh my god, like toddlers. Negative attention is better than no attention.”

“Exactly!” He snapped his fingers and pointed at you, “That’s exactly it.”

You covered your mouth, lowering your head and laughing into your palm to stifle the sound. Well aware of the looks thrown your way by the regular inhabitants of the diner. As your giggles died out, Nancy returned with your plates. 

“Here we are, two Florentine benedicts,” She set the food down on the table, “Plates are a lil’ warm, be careful.”

“Thank you,” You said, settling down, Viktor repeating the words as he slid a roll of utensils towards you.

“Of course, is there anything else I can get for you?” She asked, hands on her hips as she oversaw the table.

“I think we are okay,” Viktor told her, looking over to you for confirmation.

“Yeah, we’re all good,” You agreed, “Thank you.”

“Perfect, if you need anything, just let me know,” She told you before heading away from the table. 

Viktor held his fork out to you, “Cheers, darling, to baseless theories.”

You laughed, and clinked the tines of your fork against his, “To baseless theories.”

-----

When Nancy brought the check, she brought two. Setting the little slips of paper down in front of each of you before picking up your empty plates.

“I assumed separate checks were fine,” She said, glancing down at you briefly before sliding her gaze to Viktor, “And, I’m sorry, I just have to ask! Where is your accent from?”

“New Mexico,” Viktor said flatly, a tight smile on his lips, “And the checks will be together, actually.”

He reached over and grabbed yours from in front of you, folding them together and handing them back to her.

“Oh, uh okay,” She nodded, taking the checks back from him, trying and failing to hide her look of disappointment. You rolled your eyes as she walked away.

“I will admit,” Viktor said, “Normally I believe people read too much into others intentions.”

“Of course you do,” You scoffed at him.

“But, I do believe that that girl was being quite forward, no?” Viktor glanced over to where the waitress was making up a new receipt behind the counter.

“Oh, you think?” You laughed sarcastically at him, “Viktor, that girl wanted you so bad, she would have let you fuck her on this table if you wanted to.” 

“Always so graphic,” He grimaced, “Does it bother you?”

“No, I wouldn’t say it if it did,” You snorted a laugh.

“No, not that,” He waved you off, “That she wants me. Does somebody else being interested in me bother you?”

You thought for a moment, about whether this was something you could convincingly about. Decided it wasn’t, you told him, “Yes, I hate it.”

“Why?” He tilted his head, waiting for another honest answer.

“Because, I… you’re very want-able,” You stumbled over your words, letting an awkward laugh slip out, “You could be with whoever you want in a second. The fact that you have so many options just kinda…makes me nervous.”

Before he could respond Nancy swooped by the table, dropping off the combined check and muttering a quick, “Sorry about the confusion.”

You reached for the check and Viktor scoffed, snatching it up before you could. 

“Absolutely not,” He said, keeping the check away from you as he pulled out his wallet.

“Vik, you drove, let me get it,” You told him, trying to pull out your own card.

“No way,” He shook his head, pulling cash out, “I just insisted that we were together, I’m not letting you pay.”

“That’s misogyny,” You pouted.

“Brand me a misogynist then. You aren’t paying.” He laughed, leaving the cash on the table as he slid out of the booth, steadying himself on his cane with one hand and extending the other out to you, “Maybe I’ll let you get it next time…maybe.”

You rolled your eyes, but took his hand as you slid out of the booth anyways. You let him lead you through the diner. You let him hold the door open for you. You even let him open the car door and shut it behind you when you got in. Not because you needed or really wanted him to do these things, but because you could tell he enjoyed it. It was sweet.

“You’re wrong, you know?” He told you as the car hummed to life.

“No, I’m never wrong,” You shook your head, “What am I wrong about?”

“You say I can have whoever I want,” He repeated your statement from earlier, turning in his seat to look at you, “But that’s clearly not true.”

“Hmph, and why do you say that?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Because, the only person that I want is you. And clearly I can’t seem to get you, so…” He shrugged, the slightest pout on his lips.

Like usual, he managed to floor you with his words. Stopping all coherent thoughts in your head as he looked at you with those perfect amber eyes. You let out a shaky breath, reaching up to touch his face. He leaned into your hand, rubbing his cheek against your palm and letting his eyes fall shut for a moment.

“Viktor…” You breathed, thumb brushing across the pout on his lips.

He said your name softly, opening his eyes and holding your gaze, “Please let me have you. You're always just out of reach. Please, I just want you.”

“Vik...,” You muttered, running your hand over the side of his head, fingers combing through his soft hair, “Listen, I just… I can’t yet.”

You could have cried at the look he gave you. A harsh line formed between his eyebrows as they pulled together. His eyes were soft, half closed with blown pupils as he leaned into your touch.

“Today’s the 11th?” You asked, hand on the back of his neck, tugging gently at the short strands there, “and our last class is on December 15th, yeah?”

He nodded as you thought about the numbers.

“That’s 65 days.” You told him, squeezing the back of his neck, “In 65 days, if you still want me, I’m yours.”

“65 days…” He repeated, closing his eyes and dropping his forehead against yours, “65 days and you're mine.”

-----

It wasn’t terribly late when you made it back to town, but the winter sun had long set. Viktor insisted on holding your hand for as long as he could, only giving up the contact when switching gears became more frequent. The animal part of your brain found the way he drove incredibly attractive. He was relaxed and confident, never panicked as he checked his mirrors and smoothly switched lanes. You resisted the urge to reach out to him at stoplights. The red glow sinking into the lines and curves of his face, lighting the front of his hair. You stared shamelessly, memorizing the way he looked, and he pretended not to notice.

“You can totally tell me to fuck off if you don’t want to answer this,” You said as he slowed to a stop at one of these lights, “But why do you drive a manual? Isn’t it difficult with your leg?”

“It’s not easy, but it’s how I learned to drive,” He glanced over at you, and shrugged, “I either had to learn to drive a manual or not at all.”

“Hm, that’s fair,” You nodded, it made sense to have to learn to drive in what was available, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s incredibly hot that you drive a manual, but did you not consider getting an automatic when you moved here?”

He rolled his eyes at the compliment, a tilted smile on his lips, “No. It’s probably childish, but I drive this way out of spite. I’m used to the way it feels, and I just have to be okay with the fact that on bad days I’m not able to drive.”

“You’ve never struck me as someone resistant to accommodations,” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not,” He shook his head, “Only for this, I guess. I understand that I have limitations, but I…I don’t know. I want to drive this way, so I do. It’s as simple as that.”

You hummed and nodded, pulling your knee up to your chest and resting your cheek on it, “I get that, like not personally, but I understand your stubbornness.” You laughed softly.

“I’m glad you do, because most people don’t,” He scoffed, “Jayce practically begged me to get a different car. I had to explain to him that not only am I very capable of driving this way,” He gave you a sideways glance, “But women tend to find it sexy.”

“Ah, so you do know you’re hot,” You teased back, grinning against your knee.

“I think you give me more credit than is due in that department,” He scoffed, “But when you’re staring at me all the time, it tends to go to a man's head.”

“It’s not all the time,” You defended weakly, chewing on your lip. 

“Uh-huh,” He hummed, smirking over at you as the light turned green, “Sure.” 

You swatted at his leg gently. He caught your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and holding the back of your hand to his chest. You could feel his pulse on either side of your hand, steady and just a little fast.

“Do you want to take your truck home tonight?” He asked, squeezing your hand before releasing you, “Or I can bring you back to campus and I can pick you up tomorrow to get it?”

You thought for a moment. If you went to his house to get your truck right now, he’d ask if you’d like to come in and say hello to Rio. You’d say yes. You’d sit in his bed. You’d let him put his head in your lap. You’d talk to him for hours. You’d have to force yourself to leave at some early hour of the morning. You’d drive home with an ache in your chest. 

“I can get my truck tomorrow,” You offered, thinking quickly of a way to see him soon without destroying yourself, “If you wanna drive it over we can finish up the lab notes for Monday? If you feel like it.”

“That works,” He nodded, beginning to take turns towards campus, “Should we tell Ekko and Jinx?”

“I think they have plans tomorrow,” You told him a half-lie, they had plans tomorrow night, but you’d really rather work on the notes with just Viktor, “But we can handle it, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course,” He agreed, then laughed, “We’ll make them do it next weekend.”

“I like the way you think,” You snorted, sitting up in your seat as he pulled into the parking lot of the dorm, “Come over at eleven?”

“Sure,” He nodded, putting the car into park at the curb, “If you end up wanting to get your truck tonight, just let me know, it’s not that late.”

“Thanks.” You opened the door, hesitating and turning towards him, “I’m glad we went out today, it was…nice.”

“Me too,” He gave a soft smile.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you leaned into him and pressed a quick kiss against his cheek, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You hopped out of his car, leaving behind his coat and darting away before you could register his reaction. He didn’t pull away from the curb until you were fully inside the building and waving a goodbye through the glass wall.

You let the warmth of the gesture fill you as you climbed the stairs to your dorm. The promise of 65 days you had given him resonated in your ears. Maybe it was too lofty of a promise. Maybe it was one that would never come to fruition. Maybe whatever you felt for each other would fizzle out and die before that last day of class. You weren't sure what would be a harder end to this.

You were wrapped up in idle thoughts of him, you didn’t take notice of the soft giggles coming from inside the room, or the fact that the little sign on your door had been flipped to ‘do not disturb’. It wasn’t until you pushed the door open that you did finally notice what was happening. A few facts hit you at once. Lest was back. Lest was topless. Lest was straddling someone. Lest was straddling a girl. The girl Lest was straddling was Sky Young.

“Oh fuck,” You yelped, stumbling backwards out of the room and slamming the door closed, “I’m sorry!”

You could hear Lest curse on the other side of the door and the sound of them shuffling around as they pulled clothes back on. Lest is straight. Lest was straight. Sky you had never been sure of, but yesterday she had very much been into Viktor. As you stared in shock at your overly decorated door, puzzle pieces began to fall into place.

They had been spending a lot of time together, you had figured it was because of their shared class. Apparently that wasn’t the only reason. Lest’s anger at you over hurting Sky’s feelings made more sense now. So did Sky’s easily offered forgiveness this morning…after Lest had spent the night with her. 

You began to realize how little attention you had paid to any of your friends this semester. You were paying so much attention to a man that you didn’t even notice your best friend was switching sexualities. You wondered what else you had been missing. Were Mel and Jayce married? Did Jinx finally adopt Isha? Did Vi kill Maddie? As your thoughts began to spiral, the door in front of you was yanked open. Lest, now fully clothed, grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you into the room.

“Sit.” She told you, nudging you towards your desk chair. 

You did as she asked, the fact that the only light in the room was a single desk lamp made you feel like you were being interrogated. Sky, also dressed, was sitting on the edge of Lest’s bed, arms crossed tightly over her chest and cheeks redder than you had ever seen.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t see anything, really,” You said to Sky, hoping to ease whatever embarrassment she was holding

“What happened to knocking?” Lest asked, pulling your attention to her, hands on her hips. You tried not to stare at the mouth shaped bruises on her neck.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t paying attention,” You stumbled over your words, “I didn’t think- I’m sorry.”

Lest sighed, rubbing out a line between her eyebrows, “It’s fine. Just… don’t tell anyone.”

You scoffed a laugh, “Who am I gonna tell? You two?”

“And Mel.” She pointed out, “Who would tell Jayce, who would tell Cait, who would tell Vi, who would-”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” You held your hands up in defense, “I’m not gonna tell anyone, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Well, you’ve been a dick lately, so…” Lest shrugged, and then relaxed when you flinched, “I’m sorry. I just.. We’re not ready to share this yet.”

“Yeah, no, I get it,” You assured her, “Not gonna say anything, I promise.”

“I’m gonna head out,” Sky said, standing up awkwardly and pulling her bag onto her shoulder, she hesitated between the door and Lest.

“I’ll walk you back,” Lest offered, reaching for her own coat.

“No, it’s fine,” Sky insisted, “I’m supposed to meet Stebb at the library in a bit anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Okay,” Lest nodded, squeezing Sky’s hand before she left. When the door shut behind her, Lest collapsed onto her bed with a groan.

“Is this why you were so angry at me last night?” You asked, not moving from your chair.

“No…kinda?” Lest tugged at the ends of her hair, “I don’t know, man, this is new… like new new.”

“Like, last night new?” You wanted to know everything, but you weren't sure how much she was willing to give you right now.

“More like an hour ago,” Lest scoffed, shaking her head as she stared up at the ceiling, “Honestly, I think I’ve liked her for a while now, I just didn’t fully get it. Then last night, I…you made her cry, dude. I love you so much, but I could have killed you last night.”

“I know, I’m sorry…I agree, I’ve been a dick,” You chewed on your cheek, then laughed awkwardly, “I talked to her this morning, it makes sense why she was so forgiving.”

“You’re lucky she is,” Lest told you, finally looking over, “I stayed with her last night, that’s when it clicked. I wanted to kiss her so bad, but she was drunk and sad. I left before she woke up. Part of me hoped she wouldn’t remember it.”

“But she did?” You concluded.

“Yep, every sappy fucking word.” She rolled over, groaning into her bed, “It was so embarrassing.”

“Why?” You laughed softly, nervously testing the waters, “I mean, clearly she likes you, too.”

“Yeah, but when I told her she had just been crying over a guy,” Lest said, voice half muffled, “I should have waited until she wasn’t so upset, that would have been the polite thing to do.”

“Things happen,” You offered, “Trust me, I know.”

“I don’t know how to do this,” Lest said, on the verge of being choked up, “All I wanted to do was talk to you, but I was supposed to be mad at you…”

“Are you still mad at me?” You asked, eyeing her carefully.

“No, I’m never mad at you, not really,” She sighed, rolling back over and pouting at you, “Even when I should be.”

“Good, I’m glad,” You nodded, standing up and edging towards her bed, “I’m sorry I made you want to be mad at me.”

She held her hand out in the offer you had been waiting for. You crossed the last of the space between you and crawled into her bed. She wiggled into your arms, resting her head on your shoulder and holding onto you. She smelled like Sky’s perfume.

She said your name softly, “I’m scared.”

“Why?” You smoothed a hand over her hair.

“Because I don’t know how to do this,” She told you, toying with the hem of your sleeve, “I’ve always been the girlfriend, I don’t know how to be in a relationship with another girl.”

“My love, you’d still be a girlfriend,” You laughed softly, “You don’t need to act any different because you’re with a girl instead.”

“I guess…I just don’t know how to do this.” She pressed her face into your shirt, “My parents are going to have something to say. Everyone is going to have something to say.”

“I’m saying this out of love, but your parents were like 75% fine with you transitioning,” You teased gently, tugging at a strand of her hair, “Shouldn’t you liking girls be alot easier for them to grasp?”

She scoffed, “You’d think.” 

“Well, luckily, your parents are incredibly far away,” You assured her, “You don’t need to call them up right this minute and come out to them. You have all the time in the world, Lest. You don’t have to tell anybody until you’re ready. Other than me, obviously, sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, I wanted to tell you anyway,” Lest craned her neck to look up at you, “The only other gay girls I’m close with are Cait and Vi and they’re obnoxious.”

You laughed, swatting on on the shoulder, “Don’t be mean.”

“I love them, but it’s true,” She insisted with wide eyes.

“I know, I know,” You sighed thinking about Dysfunctional Lesbian 1 and 2.

Lest gasped, stilling in your arms, “You know what this means, right?”

“What?” You raised an eyebrow at her, tilting your chin to look at her face.

“Our friend group is very close to being made up entirely of couples,” She gaped at you, mock horror in her eyes.

“Oh god, you’re right.” You cringed, “We’re really the worst, aren’t we.”

“Entirely insufferable,” She agreed seriously before the both of you dissolved into giggles, closer to each other than you had been in months.

[turtletaubwrites]

TurtleTaub Fanfic Masterlist

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requests are closed but asks are always open! feel free to pick an emoji signature for anon asks, & let me know what you pick! here's my anon's so far: |⭐|💌|🍊|💗|

Hi, you can call me Lynna! I hope you enjoy my lil words! 🥰🥰 Currently writing for One Piece. All of my fics are Fem!Reader and NSFW unless listed otherwise.

THIS IS AN 18+ ONLY BLOG. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

WIP Updates: Current WIPS: Currently on a WRITING SPREE for NUMBERS GAME Upcoming WIPS: Sanji Request, We've All Got Needs 28, Misty Eyes 6, Wrong Side of the Bars 2, a few WAGN extra scenes, and 4 requests that came in while they were closed) Announcements: Requests will remain closed until I complete the next batch of Numbers Game, as well as the requests on my list. I'm sorry for the delay, I keep turning them into multi-chaptered fics! If you've submitted a request, please know that it is on my list, and I've already started outlining! Notes: I have a queue that reblogs super cool shit once a day. I never tagged it because I'm on here everyday. I use the queue for my ADHD, otherwise I wouldn't reblog anything for two weeks, and then I'd spam the shit out of your feed, lol.

Recent Works: Numbers Game ~ Ch. 40 ~ One More Chance ~ Cross Guild Polycule x Shanks x Fem!Reader x ??? Numbers Game ~ Extra Scene ~ Rabbit's Fur ~ Mihawk x Fem!Reader x Crocodile Misty Eyes ~ Part 5 ~ Law x Fem!Reader, Doflamingo x Fem!Reader (Past) (DARK CONTENT) Such a Softie ~ Law x GN!Reader (SFW Drabble) Wrong Side of the Bars ~ Crocodile x Fem!Reader

One Shots & Requests ~ Masterlist ~ Here's all of my fics for various characters that you can read on their own including: Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Law, Katakuri, Shanks, Crocodile, Zosan, Buggy, Luffy, Zoro x Nami, Zoro x Robin, Sanji x Robin, Zeff, and more on the way!

Misty Eyes ~ Masterlist ~ Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader, Doflamingo x Fem!Reader (Past & Flashbacks) ~ DARK CONTENT ~ Ongoing ~ You were the weakest member of the Donquixote Family, so Doflamingo found another way you could serve him. Until your childhood crush found you, freeing you from those chains. What will Law expect in return?

More series masterlists, fic rec masterlists, fic playlists, & my #tags below the cut 💜

Bend Until You Break ~ Masterlist ~ YANDERE!Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader ~ (Completed) ~ DARK CONTENT ~ You have struggled with mystery pains and injuries for most of your life, and had resigned yourself to suffer after every doctor told you there was nothing wrong. But when a world renowned doctor/pirate comes to town to offer aid in exchange for supplies, you decide to give hope one more chance. Maybe you'll finally find a doctor you can trust.

Numbers Game ~ Masterlist ~ Ongoing poly fic series (Paused but returning soon!) ~ Cross Guild x Fem!Reader ~ You left your stable/boring life as an investment banker to have some adventure. Unfortunately, that sweet Warlord of the Sea didn't follow your financial advice, and now you and your clown are at the mercy of his biggest lender and his new business partner.

We've All Got Needs ~ Masterlist ~ Ongoing poly fic series ~ Zoro x Fem!Reader, Sanji x Fem!Reader, Robin x Fem!Reader, Sanji x Robin, Sanji x Fem!Reader x Robin, (and a spinoff with Zoro x Sanji and Zoro x Fem!Reader x Sanji) ~ Enjoy the smutty shenanigans as you agree to be 'crewmates with benefits' with a certain surly swordsman. Things may get a little out of hand.

What You Need ~ Masterlist ~ Sanji x Fem!Reader (Completed) ~ You’ve been a member of the crew for a few weeks, and although you feel welcomed, you’ve been feeling a bit out of place. And your distracting crush on a certain ship’s cook isn’t helping matters. (Reader has a condition that makes intimacy difficult and sometimes painful, but Sanji is ready to prove how much he values your pleasure.)

Take Me With You ~ Masterlist ~ Buggy x Fem!Reader (Completed ~ May return after OPLA season 2) ~ Buggy takes a small town hostage and the reader asks to join him. You take this chance to leave this shithole of a town, one way or another. Buggy gives you the perfect opportunity to take some revenge before you do. What kind of life will you lead if you pass his violent audition and become one of Buggy's freaks? (Starts shortly before, and then follows the OPLA timeline.)

Fic Rec Masterlists: | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | I adore the incredible fic writers on this site! Please enjoy my Fic Rec Masterlists and go show them some love!

Fic Playlists: I just started making playlists for fics, and it's been so much fun 🥰��� Here's what I've got so far! These are YouTube playlists, and you can play them on the regular YouTube app/site or on YouTube music. I have YouTube Red, and I refuse to be judged for my clearly superior music app 😅😅 (I live for shuffle and music videos, okay!)

Numbers Game ~ YouTube Music Playlist | YouTube Playlist Misty Eyes ~ Law x Reader ~ YouTube Music Playlist | YouTube Playlist Bend Until You Break ~ YouTube Music Playlist | YouTube Playlist More to come, and feel free to send me song recs, they make me so happy 🥰🎶

Tags I Use: #turtletaub fics ~ (all of my fics, including headcanons & drabbles) #turtletaub talks ~ (announcements, random thoughts, etc.) #turtletaub fic recs ~ (what I'm reading, and you should too!) #turtletaub reblogs ~ (fanart, other fandoms, etc. filter to only see my stuff) #turtletaub responds ~ (answered asks) #turtletaub screencaps ~ (feel free to use and enjoy the screencaps I take) #turtletaub self reblogs ~ (filter if you don't want reruns) #turtletaub shitposting ~ (me having the sillies) #about lynna ~ (for more personal topics, vent posts, or just about my life) #lynna's health updates ~ (any physical/mental health posts and updates) #✨final edit time✨ ~ (When I started editing the final draft before posting!!) Fic Series Tags (will be editing to make more personal soon) ~ | #numbers game | *Please feel free to filter any of the tags above that you wouldn't like to see.

| rules | about me | ao3 | ko-fi |

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Any updates on the new chapter?

YES-

So expliantion why this chapter is taking a bit beyond the original delay period is- I fucked up continuity. Or more so- as the story developed, some one of comments made towards the earlier chapters now go directly against where i want the story to go now

SO some of y'all may have noticed the new description update, which as of rn im going through and making those small shifts and edits throughout the fic

Dw about having to re read- after chapter 17 is updated I will be adding a temp chapter 18 with a quick bullet list of whats important to know changed

TLDR- 17 is done, BUT its the "next step" to a lot of major lore, and in that since its already been so long there wont be another good time to go back through for the small edits.

P.S the real chapter 18 is in the works, and so is a chunk of 19 im writing in advance- so I PROMISE this is the longest yall will ever have to wait period, after this back to regular schedule

[sweetlittlelamb]

WIP Wedne....uh...Friday!

Thank you for the tag @aoifethephoenixqueen!!

I lost a saved portion of the story I was working on, so the next chapter of Tiefling Troubles is a bit more delayed than I was hoping for! I wanted to have this chapter up today but it's looking like a Sunday thing instead 😅

Anyway, here's a little sneak peak of Chapter 8 of Tiefling Troubles!

You’re half shocked to find Zevlor exactly where you left him, his tail still softly swaying and his gaze still locked onto his nightstand. Sweat beads down his back, catching on the tiny formless wings fused to his shoulder blade before continuing down the ridged path of his spine.

“Zevlor?”

“Hm?” He starts at your return and blinks rapidly, as though pulled from deep thought. 

“You should drink something,” you tell him, tossing the fresh rags onto the rumpled bed and holding the cup toward him. “It’s just plain water, but I can make you some tea if you’d rather have that instead.”

“That’s very kind of you, but water is more than enough,” he assures you, and reaches out a shaking hand to take your offering. His trembling fingers brush against yours in a searing kiss, and a particularly vigorous tremor sends the water sloshing over the rim.

“May I?” You ask him, steadying the cup with both hands and peering up at his face. He sucks in a bracing breath then nods jerkily. 

You lift the cup to his gently parted lips and tilt, his flaming eyes locked onto you and the apple of his throat bobbing obscenely as he takes great gulps. A bead of water drips down from the corner of his mouth, and a terribly feral part of yourself wants to lick it away.

Before you can stop yourself, you lean in and do just that.

His stubble drags against your soft tongue and the salt of his skin fills your mouth welcomingly.

He freezes, and if you were asked you’d honestly say that all of time freezes along with him, and then he springs into motion as suddenly as a cat pouncing on a mouse. Trembling fingers slap away the cup from his lips, the metallic clattering of it falling to the floor lost to the thundering heartbeat pounding inside your ears. His mouth crashes down onto yours, swallowing down your surprised gasp as if you’re the most refreshing drink he’s ever had. 

Dull claws prickle against your bare bottom, and then your feet aren’t touching the ground anymore. He hoists you high into his arms, and you frantically wrap your limbs around his waist and over his shoulders in case his grip on you falters. 

It doesn’t falter in the slightest, not even when he spins and marches away from the bed. You nearly ask where he’s taking you, but to do that you’d need to pull away from the slick glide of his tongue and the achingly sweet press of his lips against your own, and you can’t possibly bring yourself to do that.

😉

No pressure tags: @keepyourstyle @hemoglobinjuicebox @alrendriablaze