#((world. blink blink. and then we send them out into the public like a disease))

[plasticross]

jury and john are just chronically the worlds most unreliable narrators ever. ever. which, hey, if you learn how to exploit that theyd be really helpful in a session. but until then theyre just the worst people ever to have on your side

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Investigations (Part 7): Ran Haitani x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.6k

tw: NSFW is you squint

masterlist

song recommendation:

You try your best to shuffle around the kitchen surreptitiously, clicking the espresso pod into the machine with a soft 'snap'.

The machine begins its duty, whirring to life before the liquid is deposited into the cup below.

Success.

Your fingers wrap around the mug and take it to the counter, where you've already prepared your milk and syrup for a quick and easy cup of coffee.

Lately, you've had to sneak and make coffee (all futile attempts ruined by Kai or Ran), but you consider today full of promise. You'd gotten the formula down so far.

"I thought I said no coffee."

Your hands hover over the cup, the steam caressing your fingers like a warm invitation. Your eyes don't move to look at Ran, but they do watch his fingers snatch the cup away from you - full of warm milk and espresso.

"Y/n, it's not good for the baby."

"Okay, but..." Your feet carry you to the sink, where Ran is pouring the concoction down the drain. "Just a taste?"

"No."

"A sip?"

"No."

"I'll make it and just stick my tongue in it once."

"No."

Ran stands firm on his opinions at all times. Especially now. Arms cross over your chest and you huff, turning away from him.

"So strict." Ran fingers slide down your neck, resting around your full hips.

"It's not just about you," he begins, kissing the space between your neck and shoulder. "I'm looking out for our child, too. You know that."

"I do," you groan.

"Now, we have a baby shower to host. Let's get ready."

_____________________________________________________________

"We thought you were gone forever!" The three women come around you and huddle close, cooing, and crying, spewing lamentations and satisfied praises that you've returned.

Sanzu - out of the kindness of his heart - planned the baby shower, and you're at his house, eating cake with your friends and consuming hors d'oeuvres. But when you find a free moment, you corner Ran in the kitchen.

"Did you tell the others?"

"Tell them what?" Ran tilts his head at you and leans onto the counter, frowning. Your face smoothes out into an expression of disappointment, and you sigh.

Of course, he hadn't.

It's still your job to carry this terrible secret. It's still your job to bury your deepest, darkest knowing, all while the other girls are parading about like their husbands aren't killers and extortionists.

"Hey, y/n! It's time to open the presents!"

_____________________________________________________________

The water surrounding your figure is warm, full of bubbles and Epsom salt, as well as a little bath bomb that Ran bought - well, he bought sixteen, but that's beside the point.

"Feeling okay? Is it too hot?" You look over to the man sitting on the toilet seat, his elbows resting on his knees as he observes you pour water over your belly.

"It's fine," you murmur, blinking slowly. "Feels good."

"Want to turn on the jets or--"

"I want to join Bonten." Ran's face drops, his violet eyes clouding with confusion.

"I'm sorry?"

"You heard me." You stare at him, fully intent on getting your desired response. "I want to be a part of what you do."

"Babe, no." Ran leans his head forward, rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"You haven't even listened to me," you whisper, looking down at the ten toes poking out of the water. "You always do this. You tell me 'no' because that's the way you want things. I can't even drink coffee without your permission."

"Listen, I'll let you do whatever you want, but Bonten is out of the question. You're pregnant --"

"Then I can wait until I have the baby."

"Even after that, I'm going to say no. This is a dangerous business." He emphasizes his words with a shake of his head, pressing his lips together.

"You act like I wasn't an investigative journalist for ten years."

"This shit could get you killed, y/n."

"Yes," you begin. "But you do it every day. I want to be a part of it."

"Why?" Ran finally asks, and your lips curl into a smile.

"I know things you don't know. The media follows you very closely, and you need a good image if you ever run into a problem with... say, law enforcement. What better way to prove that this is a harmless organization than hiring a woman - your wife?" Ran quirks his lips, looking at the door of the bathroom with consideration.

"Is there any particular skill you'll avail to us other than just public relations? I mean, I could get someone to do that who isn't my wife."

"I have connections that will divert attention away from Bonten, if necessary." You think of the little group you and the other wives have created, and send a mental apology their way. "You can use me to get the word out about any other suspicious groups who might be involved. Aid and abet, like a good wife."

Ran stands from the toilet, sighing deeply. "I'll ask Mikey. But don't expect me to attempt to sway him with my loyalty. If anything, I'll ask him to really think about it before he makes a choice."

"That's all I want," you breathe, taking Ran's hand and pressing your lips against the back of it. "You're too good to me."

"Don't thank me yet, sweetheart."

_____________________________________________________________

Convincing Ran to part with his old-fashioned ways is something you're very skilled at. All you need to do is get on your knees... and be as sweet as you can be.

"Babe," you mutter, sucking Ran's thick cock from the side. "You're such a good husband."

"Buttering me up for Mikey, huh?" Fingers cup the back of your head and push you down slightly. "Why am I not surprised?"

And every single time, Ran sees straight through your little act. But he enjoys it nonetheless. He loves seeing you like this - giving him the attention he missed so much while you were gone.

"Because you know me so well. And that's why you married me."

That's why you married me. Ran's eyes close as he re-imagines himself the first time he decided to visit you, hands full of shit he didn't have to buy, and eyes full of stars at the sight of you answering the door in a tank top and shorts with a cast on your leg. That's when he knew that he wanted to marry you. Not because you're good at anything in particular, but because you were so ordinary... So normal. He needed someone like you then, and he needs you now.

"Stop."

"Am I doing something wrong?" you murmur, but Ran shakes his head, strands of his black and white hair flopping back and forth.

"You're perfect," he whispers. "You're always so perfect." He brings you off your knees and face to face with him, holding you by the arms. "Let me make love to you. I'll do the work," Ran promises. "You just enjoy yourself."

"But--"

"I've already told you what I'm going to do. Just let me give you what you deserve." Ran angles forward, leaning into a gentle kiss that makes your knees weak and your head spin.

Ran spoons you from behind on the bed, holding your leg up and sliding in and out of you with care. The other arm is holding you against him - wrapped around your chest - as he whispers sweet nothings into your ear.

"I love the way you moan my name," he breathes. "You always know how to make me feel like the only man in the world."

"You are," you reply honestly. "You're the only man for me."

_____________________________________________________________

"Why do you want to join Bonten?"

The dead eyes of the man across from you are unyielding, and part of you feels nervous that he's staring at you so intensely.

"I want to help you all out. I want to make sure that not only do my children have something to rely on when they grow up, but that my husband is taken care of in all ways."

"Your children and your husband?" You think of Ran, who is just outside of the door, probably pacing with his hands in his pockets. "Your husband just spent three hours arguing with me."

"About?"

"You." The man stands, and Sanzu looks over at him with blank eyes. He wants to chime in, but he can't say anything right now. Not when Mikey was supposed to handle this himself. "Your presence here will be controversial. Especially since you're... in the state you're in."

"Pregnancy isn't a fatal disease."

"No, but being in Bonten could be fatal. And I don't know if both ran and I would be willing to accept the consequences of two deaths on our hand."

"But--" Sanzu raises a finger to his lips, warning you to be quiet.

"However," the man murmurs, rolling his neck around. "Sanzu, Rindou, and Kakucho have vouched for you and your connections." Your shoulders slacken, and you lean back in the chair, somewhat relieved. "I will put it to an anonymous vote in thirty-six hours. Whatever the outcome is, we'll both accept it."

A blind vote.

Thirty-six hours.

"Thank you, sir." You stand and bow slightly, hands clasped together. When you leave the room, Ran is waiting for you in the hallway, eyes wide.

"Well?"

"It'll be put to an anonymous vote in thirty-six hours. Whatever happens, happens."

Ran's face is anything but pleased as you drive home, but you don't worry about that too much. You have one and a half days to wait for the results, and you'd make the best of it either way.

[weeb-writor]

MHA boys react to your Pro Hero father finding out you’re dating them

Heyo! So today I just have something cute and crack-y! I’ve been reading wayyy to much angst as of late! Reader is neutral and I am running out of things to write so send me some requests I do have a few rules but I pretty much write everything! I hope you all enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Amajiki Tamaki x Reader  Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Your Pro Hero dad finds out your dating (All might and Fat Gum)

Words: 1928

~~~~~~~~~~~~

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

So you are not sure how to explain this situation, really. Of course you knew about your fathers no dating rules and you were, are a great kid who follow his rules. However, the first time you laid eyes on him you were taken. Then when you saw him fight and the way he spoke their was no hope for you. You had fallen head over heels in love with him. So when he asked you out the words ‘no’ and ‘I can't’ were no longer in your vocabulary. So here you were on a date with Bakugou. You two were at all mall just walking around, shopping when you wanted but mainly just enjoying your time together.

“Would you stop looking like that! Just tell me what the hell it is!” Bakugou yelled at you, you blinked at him not really realizing you were staring.

“I… the claw game for the big game has a rabbit in it.” You said with your head down. Bakugou only sighed and drug you over to the game.

“Now I’ll get you the bunny on one condition,... come meet my parents next weekend.” He mumbled completely red.

“You’ve got a deal.” You said with a smile.

“AND I wanna meet yours.” He added starting to play the game you stilled visibly at his words.

“Uh i'm sure you don't, it might be another situation like you had at dinner with the Todoroki’s!” You rushed out to him. He didn't respond but moved the claw toward the ugliest stuffed animal you had ever seen.

“OMG you're such a dramatic man, fine fine.” You huffed at him, he chuckled evilly and a moment later you were holding the huge bunny. 

“What would you do without me, huh? I'm perfect for you, y’know. No one else could have done that for you the first try, like I did.” He said as you guys started your walk up again.

“Huh, well personally I think Izuku probably could. You know he has all those limited addition all might figures and plushies, a lot of them come from claw games.” You said nonchalantly knowing it would piss off Bakugou. He stopped talking and grabbed your chin, forcing you to make eye contact with him.

“Your so full of shit, your trying to get a rise out of me but you wont.” He said with an eyebrow raise.

“Is that why you’re twitching?” You asked as you pulled forward some more, your lips almost touching. Before you guys could tease each other any further a voice interrupted you.

“Bakugou?” You both froze as All might’s voice echoed in your ears. You jumped away from Bakugou as he gave you a confused look.

“Yeah?” He said, still glancing at you, not sure what to make of your strange behavior.

“What are you two doing here and what are you doing so close together?” He asked with a smile, you could tell it was fake.

“Oh were on a-” he tried to get out but you cut him off.

“A snack run! Us and the rest of the class are doing a movie night.” You said shakily.

“I didn't know a snack run required such closeness.” He said with an eyebrow raise.

“It doesn't.” Aizawa said. You didn't even notice he was there and now you were screwed. Aizawa had agreed to keep you and Bakugou’s relationship a secret in exchange for coffee every Monday and Wednesday but last Wednesday you forgot. The grin on his face says he is getting even. 

“What? were not doing that! I'm not watching a movie with those extras on our date night.” Bakugou pouted at you, your mouth hung open at him. Now did you tell Bakugou All might was your father and he forbid you to date, no, no you didn't; but he is one of the smartest people you know. He is in the top 5 of your class in smarts for god sakes, he should have known you were trying to keep this on the downlow.

“YOUR WHAT!” your father said in his boisterous voice.

“Uhh, well you see um he is… What are you two doing here, huh?” You said trying to change the subject. Aizawa started to chuckle next to your father.

“Y/N I said no boys, no girls, no theys!!! Bakugou is clearly a boy!!” He said, starting to pace around. “Hold on, Aizawa, did you know about this?” He asked, turning toward the teacher who immediately stopped laughing.

“I learned about it very recently and I told them to tell you or I would. Very childish and unheroic.” He said, trying not to bust out laughing.

“Bakugou we should run..” You whispered to him as your father paced around.

“Why didn't you tell me your dad was All might and that we are a secret!!” He whispered yelled to you.

“We can talk about this later but right now babe, we gotta run before he calls Gran Torino.” You said inching away from the scene in front of you. Bakugou did the same as but your world stopped when your eyes met Aizawa’s. He shook his head but mouthed “Coffee Monday” then shut his eyes. With that you and Bakugou were off, ignoring your father who was calling for you.

“Dumbass you know they are going to the same place we are, right?” He said laughing.

“I know but i would rather be shunned in my room than in the public, gotta keep our image up.” You said giving him a thumbs up. You both laughed all the way to the dorms and were still in high spirits when your father came and found you guys lounging in the commons.

 AMAJIKI TAMAKI

Now you and Tamaki relationship is… strange to most people. You were not like Mirio or Nejire, you were more like Tamaki but just not as anxious. No one even knew how you two got together after years of pining but both being too shy to ask each other out. It did happen nonetheless and it was oddly perfect. You both loved to stay in and eat takeout, you would take turns calling the takeout spot, or sometimes even play rock, paper, scissors to decide. Festivals were also a love you guys shared, of course you went early before fireworks when it wasn't too busy. But this, this was by far your favorite. The beach in the middle of the night, you and Tamaki would sometimes sneak out when you both needed a breather in the dead of the night when there was nothing but the two of you, the waves, and the stars.

“Did you bring it?” You asked Tamaki as you walked along the shore.

“Of course I did, do you wanna do it?” He asked fidgeting a little.

“Mhhmm.” You hummed taking the stick from him. You and him found it on your first beach date, it was a stick that Tamaki sterilized, afraid it would give you some sort of disease. You thought for a second before writing in the sand.

“Laugh in the silence, dance in rain, and sing with the birds. There will come a day when all things will change and you’ll be left with only the memories of yesterday, so enjoy them. Sincerely the silent.” He said reading what you wrote in the sand. 

“I made it far from the tide so someone will actually see it this time.” You said as you drew heart and butterflies around it.

“Where'd you get it from?” He said as he sat laid down on the sand to watch the stars. You laid down placing your head on his chest.

“My dad, he and I are very different and he learned very early on that when he taught me his ‘life lessons’ in loud ways I didn't get it and that I was pretty timid so I wouldn't learn them through experience. My class was going on a 3 week end of the year vacation to the U.S and I decided I didn't wanna go, I'd never been, my dad couldn't come, I listed every reason why I couldn't and at some point I was just making up random excuses when really I did wanna go. So my dad made me climb this mountain and carried me when I complained it was too much. When we finally got to the top I was so angry that there was just a bunch of snow but then he made me look to my left and there were dozens of flowers peeking through the snow. It was amazing. Then he told me that saying and I was never the same. I went on the trip for a week instead of 3 weeks and I loved it. If I can help someone like us step out of their comfort zone just a little so they can see beautiful flowers and enjoy all that they can, I'll be happy.” You said as your eyes fluttered shut a little.

“We can do it together, step out of our comfort zones, I mean.” He mumbled to you. You hummed at him in agreement.

“PUT YOUR HANDS UP OR I’LL SHOOT!” A loud voice called out to you, you and Tamaki immediately stood up and put your hands up.

“Okay now dance! I'm thinking the Macarena..” The guy trailed off. Tamaki mumbled to himself and turned around putting his hands down, you were about to yell at him but he turned and smiled at you then began to speak.

“What are you doing here, Mr. Fat Gum.” Tamaki said with a sigh. You froze at this and thought about disappearing into the water but it was a cold night you would die. Maybe if you didn't turn around he wouldn't know it was you.

“Well when I got a call saying my kid snuck out the first few times I was cool about it, they never do anything wrong so y’know its good to be a little wild BUT WHEN I HEARD THEY WERE WITH A BOY I CAME TO FIND THEM!! But seeing it’s you i'm a little less worried but when I said find some new people to hang with and expand your horizons I definitely didn't mean my kid who I forbade to date, mind you!” You dad said, grabbing Tamaki by the shoulders and shaking him a little. Your boyfriend looked between the two of you and then began to mutter incoherent things.

“Dad stop you gonna give him a heart attack.” You said trying to get your boyfriend back from your overprotective dad.

“Nahh that would be too kind and too quick.” And with that your boyfriend fainted, your dad laughed and threw him over his shoulders. 

“You didn't have to do that.” You said as you both began the walk home.

“What kind of father would I be if I didn't instill fear into the hearts of those who could break your heart beyond repair.” He smiled at you

“You scare him everyday when he works with you!! I’ve heard all the stories from Tamaki, you put him into uncomfortable situations sometimes.” You huffed at him

“Sure but never more than he can handle. ‘Laugh in the silence, dance in rain, and sing with the birds. There will come a day when all things will change and you’ll be left with only the memories of yesterday, so enjoy them.’ He always learns something new or at least gets a kick out of it.” He said as he put his fist out for you to bump. You bump it and smile at him.

“You are still in trouble though.” He said with a laugh, you sighed at his words. Maybe you should have taken your chance in the freezing water.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Masterlist

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Kiro’s Greenhouse Date (Eng Translation)

🍒Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers!🍒

Note: This is a cancelled date which will unlikely come to EN :<

More from this Collection: Gavin // Lucien // Victor

The date begins with MC commenting on how Kiro has been extremely busy lately. He hasn’t been picking up calls, and his messages have been short. MC also notes that although he appears normal on television, his eyes have become slightly dimmer.

MC recalls how Kiro has always been giving her strength whenever she’s feeling low, so she decides to do the same for him. She sends him a message:

MC: Miss Chips’ personalized mystery surprise, only applicable to Mr Kiro. Please claim this prize within the one hour time limit, or else it will expire~

After sending the message, I continue watching the television. However, I am entirely focused on my phone and alerted to every chime it makes.

Almost an hour passes and Kiro has not replied. While I’m hesitating whether or not to call him, my phone finally vibrates.

Kiro: This is the special prize winner Mr Kiro. I wish to ask Miss Chips – what exactly is my prize?

His tone is tinged with tiredness, but he still ends his sentences with a cheery lilt.

MC: It shall remain a secret. All you have to do is give me your time this Sunday!

Kiro is stunned for a moment, then a smile seeps into his voice.

Kiro: [laughs] When did you learn this trick of mine?

MC: Heh heh, I’m not telling you. Once you have accepted the prize, there’s no backing out!

Kiro: Yes, Mr Kiro promises Miss Chips.

MC: That’s great! I was even worried… ah, nothing….

Kiro: Worried about what? Were you anxious that I almost didn’t respond in time? I guessed correctly, didn’t I?

MC: Hmph, that’s because I didn’t want to waste my surprise.

Hearing this, Kiro chuckles from the other end of the line. The tiredness that was in his voice earlier has dissipated quite a bit.

MC: So it’s settled, I’ll come find you on Sunday.

Kiro: Even though it’s your surprise, how could I let you be the one to look for me? Don’t worry, I’ll slip away secretly and pick you up!

Before I hang up, Kiro suddenly mutters apologetically.

Kiro: Actually, my phone wasn’t by my side just now. It was only after I took a call that I saw your message. Were you very anxious while waiting?

MC: It’s all right. I was thinking that if you didn’t reply, I would tell you that the time limit got extended by another hour…

Kiro: [laughs] Do you know that hearing you say that makes me really happy? Even happier than hearing about the mystery surprise!

Kiro’s tone is gentle, and I can almost see a golden retriever from the corner of my eye, wagging its tail and smiling at me.

Kiro: All right, so it’s settled.

Hanging up the phone, I find myself smiling. Kiro has always been bringing me to his secret hide-outs to recharge my batteries. This time, it’s my turn.

MC has already planned how Sunday would go. Judging from Kiro’s busy schedule, he wouldn’t have had the time to go flower viewing. He also wouldn’t be able to go to public flower viewing places, considering his celebrity status.

MC: Or else, one wouldn’t be able to tell whether the crowd is there to see the flowers or Kiro.

Sunday arrives. While waiting for Kiro, MC recalls how she asked her father’s friend, Uncle Gu, for permission to use his personal greenhouse. When she was younger, she would visit the large greenhouse and her worries would melt away when surrounded by the gorgeous flowers. 

Even though she is unsure if Kiro would be interested in flower viewing, she thinks the change of scenery should allow him to relax.

While she is deep in thought, someone covers her eyes from behind.

The coolness of a ring brushes against my cheek, carrying the scent of its owner.

MC: Kiro…

?: Who is Kiro? I’m the special prize winner of your mystery surprise.

Pushing away the hands that are covering my eyes, I turn around to see Kiro wearing a pair of sunglasses.

He has deep eye bags, but his tired-looking expression has an insuppressible grin. I lean towards him.

MC: You look so fatigued. Did you not rest well?

Hearing this, Kiro furrows his eyebrows, his blinking eyes full of grievances.

Kiro: Yeah, I haven’t slept for three nights, and I feel so dizzy…

He says this slowly, and I hurriedly stand on my tiptoes, wanting to test his temperature.

MC: We shouldn’t have come out then… could it be a fever…

I look into Kiro’s clear eyes. He lets out a grin, looking a sly squirrel.

MC: You tricked me!

I purse my lips, my face flushing as I turn to the side.

Kiro hurriedly grabs on to my sleeve, a pitiful expression on his face.

Kiro: Okay okay I was wrong, don’t be angry, all right?

Kiro appears in my line of sight no matter which direction I turn my head. Looking at me with his bright eyes, my temper disappears in an instant.

MC: Fine, I’m no longer angry… Kiro is such a childish ghost.

Without a trace of anger or shock, Kiro continues smiling.

Kiro: Yes, I’m a childish ghost, and Miss Chips is the cutest~

MC: You’re shameless…

Kiro: I’m not. Isn’t it normal for a man to reveal his childish side to the person he likes? I even thought you heard about this saying before…

Kiro seems a little disappointed. He mutters, pulling me into the car.

I turn to look at him and see his side profile bathed in sunlight. The layer of gold makes his entire form look lively, fresh, and beautiful.

Now silent, Kiro’s face has a look of maturity that wasn’t there before. My heart suddenly does a flip, and I try not to think about what he said just now.

They finally reach Uncle Gu’s place, but it has been refurbished with additional features, so they have to walk through an eerie tree-lined pathway. MC gets goosebumps and nervously holds his hand.

Kiro: Eh?

MC: This is to prevent someone from running away suddenly.

Kiro: That wouldn’t happen. I’m not scared at all.

Trying to prove his point, Kiro tightens his grip on my hand, with an expression which says that he is unfazed by any circumstances.

We hold each other’s hands tight and walk forward step-by-step.

Kiro stands in front of me slightly, as though prepared to defend me at any moment.

His actions remind me of our experience at the haunted house, which he specially brought me to to prove his bravery. This time round, he doesn’t seem as afraid, though his palms are still sweating.

As we continue down the long pathway, Kiro seems to become increasingly relaxed. While he walks, he sniffs the air, just like an animal following the scent of food.

MC: What are you smelling?

Kiro: Dummy! I’m smelling the flowers of course.

MC: I don’t think I mentioned the greenhouse as being the mystery surprise. Can you really smell it?

Kiro: Of course! Also, I’ve confirmed that this place has a gigantic patch of Monet. I can already smell it!

MC: Monet? Isn’t he an artist?

Kiro: Heh heh looks like you don’t know! Here, follow me!

Saying this, Kiro pulls me into a run.

We run through the long corridor of vines, pass by a few patches of colorful flowers, and finally stand in front of a small wooden door with “Rosa chinensis” written on it.

Pointing at the sea of pink flowers beyond the wooden door, his eyes are filled with satisfaction.

Kiro: I was right! Like I said, there are Monets here.

MC: You’re saying that the Rosa chinesis is called Monet?

Kiro: Right! These pink flowers with yellow streaks are called… let me think! Yes, Claude Monet! They smell really good!

MC takes a closer look at the flowers and realizes that the flowers have a fruity smell. She can understand how Kiro could recognize them from afar.

MC: Are you very knowledgeable about the Rosa chinesis?

Kiro: Yes! When I was studying in France, I was a volunteer at the Botanic Gardens. Because some things happened, there was a period of time when I couldn’t attend school. I spent my entire day in the Botanic Gardens, and I learnt a lot about the Rosa chinesis. For example, how they differ from roses, the different parts of the Rosa chinesis, and the different types… only then did I realise that the simple-looking Rosa chinesis could also be so beautiful.

MC: It shares the same name as the prolific artist Monet though.

Kiro: Mmhmm, I originally thought that it got its name because it shared the same colours as Monet’s paintings. Later on, I discovered that it was far from that.

MC: Eh? Then what’s the reason?

Kiro: The Monet flower is extremely strong against diseases. It can’t be destroyed no matter what diseases plague it. Instead, it blooms even more beautifully. Monet was also such an artist. I saw his letter in the museum and learnt that he didn’t have a good life. He was sick and poor. Even so, he could bring people warmth. He taught me that sunlight is the most meaningful thing in the world, and that all of us have the ability to make choices.

Kiro keeps his eyes on the flowers, his expression lifting into a smile. It’s a different smile from before – a genuine smile that belongs to him, a smile stemming from his innermost heart.

I suddenly feel like I’ve been transported several years back, and I can see a younger Kiro standing amid the flowers with a brilliant smile.

When I return to my senses, Kiro’s big eyes are less than ten centimeters away from me.

I instinctively shrink backwards, but Kiro reaches out for my shoulder.

Kiro: Why are you dazing off while looking at my face? Be honest, what are you thinking about?

MC: I… I was just thinking about how you’re similar to Monet. You’re always bringing people brightness and warmth.

While saying this, Kiro continues staring at me, his pure eyes looking into my heart.

That person whose entire body exudes light, and is always giving me strength… he should have such pure eyes.

Kiro laughs, his eyes crinkling.

Kiro: Monet spent his life chasing after the light. That’s where we differ. I’m even better than him, because I have already found my light.

He blinks at me, as though he is keeping a major secret, waiting for me to probe further.

I am slightly stunned and am unsure how to respond.

Kiro: Why aren’t you asking me what my light is?

[Note: At this moment, Kiro has that “I’ve been flirting with you for the past year, thanks for noticing” face]

Looking at his expression, I laugh and play along with him.

Kiro responds with a sentence in French, and I don’t understand it.

MC: What did you say?

Kiro: I’ll tell you if you dance with me.

MC: How does that even work... you were the one who prompted me to ask that question…

Acting on his own whims, Kiro lifts up my left hand while hooking onto my right hand, pulling me into a dancing posture.

MC: …eh?

In contrast to my surprise, Kiro’s face is beaming.

His lips curve upwards, like a squirrel hugging a pinecone tightly and showing it off to its friends with pride.

His blue eyes are glimmering, as though they contain the entire galaxy.

In the center of that galaxy are two tiny faces, each of them belonging to me.

The atmosphere seems to have shifted suddenly.

MC: What did you just say?

Kiro: I said, dance with me.

MC: No, I’m referring to that thing you said in French…

Before I even finish, Kiro leans close to my ear and mutters something incredibly quickly.

Kiro: It’s too late.

MC: Huh? What do you mean by that?

Kiro: I just told you the meaning, so it’s too late to reject me now.

What…

My ears start reddening. Even though this is a private greenhouse, I’m slightly embarrassed to dance here.

MC: You-

Kiro: What about me?

MC: There isn’t any music so we can’t dance!

I instantly regret once the words slip out of my mouth.

Kiro: Music?

Kiro blinks.

With a sly grin, he starts humming a tune.

Only after five notes, I have already guessed what tune he is humming.

MC: …the doll and teddy bear dance?

[Note: I went to check and it’s an actual song bless his pure heart] 

Kiro: Yep. Don’t you think it’s similar to our current situation? Miss Chips~

He stretches out the way he says “Miss Chips”, ending with a smile in his voice.

MC: Am I the teddy bear? Or the doll?

Kiro: [laughs] Of course…

Kiro purposefully drags out his answer, leading me into a slightly inaccurate rendition of ballroom dancing. He twirls me around.

Kiro: …you are my Miss Chips!

I am tickled by his words. The embarrassment I felt earlier vanishes without a trace.

MC: Fine… don’t blame me if I step on you.

Kiro: Don’t worry, it wouldn’t happen!

Where does Kiro’s confidence come from?

I understand once I cooperate and start dancing with him.

MC: Stop, stop, I’m not dancing any longer! My head’s going to explode from the twirling. How is this considered dancing?

The reason why Kiro was so sure I wouldn’t step on him is because this isn’t the ballroom dancing I envisioned at all! Most of the time I end up getting twirled around by Kiro.

Kiro: Don’t you know that this is a sort of dance too?

With a smile, he leans close to my ear, saying this clearly. Several blurry Kiros appear in my vision.

Kiro: Don’t you find this blurry feeling amazing? It’s like how people go to bars to get drunk.

MC: So you’re feeling great now?

His words seem to take on a deeper meaning, but I’m unable to grasp them in my dizzy state.

Kiro: Mm, incredibly happy!

Kiro nods his head vigorously.

MC: All right. At least all that twirling didn’t go to waste.

The main purpose of today was to help Kiro relieve stress. So as long as he’s happy, that’s fine.

My pride doesn’t matter, and the dizziness doesn’t matter!

With this thought in mind, I let out a laugh.

Kiro: What are you laughing at?

I see three sets of Kiros reaching out to me with three hands. However, I can only feel one hand on my forehead, tidying my fringe.

MC: Because I get to see you being genuinely happy.

Kiro: You’re happy when you see me happy?

Kiro’s voice is laced with anticipation.

MC: Of course I’m happy. Normally, you’re the one taking me to your secret hide-outs to recharge my batteries and relieve stress. It’s as though you hold all the sunlight in the world. But I’ve never asked whether you ever feel down. This time round, let me be your rubbish bin and get rid of your troubles. I want to peel away all the grey clouds that are blocking the sun.

While I’m saying this, Kiro stands in front of me quietly, watching me with his head slightly lowered. His expression is serious, and his eyes are focused and deep.

He looks like Kiro on the stage, yet not exactly so.

MC: Hmm… even though I don’t know what you’re troubled by, or what pressure you’re under, I can sense that it isn’t because of a creative block. If you don’t want to talk about it, or if you can’t tell me-

Before the words “it’s okay” leave my lips, I am scooped into a pair of incredibly warm arms.

Caught off guard, I fall into Kiro’s embrace.

I hear Kiro’s heartbeats, like a tiny drum, fast and without rhythm.

My heart feels ticklish, as though thousands of ants have crawled into it.

I feel sunlight on the top of my head. It’s so warm.

It’s almost noon and Kiro has to return to work. Why does time pass by so quickly?

Kiro: MC, why are you so adorable! I am really, very very very happy today!

He speaks incredibly slowly. Every “very” seems to carry with it the solemnity of experience and time.

Kiro: MC, thank you.          

MC: A-are you happy today? Did you like my mystery surprise?

Kiro: Mm! I love it! Today is Kiro’s second happiest day.

MC: Which is your first happiest day then?

Kiro: Well… I will keep that a secret for now. I’ll definitely tell you in the future.

He puts a lot of weight on the word “definitely”, making me think that the day in question is somehow related to me.

MC: You still haven’t told me what you said in French…

Kiro hugs me even more tightly, and his voice travels to my ear.

Kiro: MC, you are my light.

🍯

Phone call: here

[aboyandhisstarship]

SICON verse: ask SICON hour/APEX 99

The camera cut in as Kvella said “welcome to today’s ask SICON hour, today’s question is from Feqesh of the planet Tophet who asked, How do humans get into combat zones?”

The camera drone buzzed by as Kvella explained “the humans have 4 major methods of entering a combat zone.”

Footage of her capsule drop was cut in as she explained “the first and most famous is there orbital insertion into hostile territory, special capsulizes are fired from their ships that descend rapidly shedding outer layers in order to confuse enemy defense systems.”

The footage changed back to the alien reporter who said “the next is the calmest method; it is a simple drop ship landing into friendly or friendly controlled territory, in the same vain is the Tac Drop.”

It cut to a Human in his office the title card reading “Lieutenant William Ericson, SICON Federal Forces”

The Human explained “Tac, or tactical insertions are preformed when part of a planet is claimed or if we cannot for whatever reason insert from Orbit, the drop ship will rise to an altitude of about 150-200 meters,” the subtitles informed “about 80 council standard height units.”

Ericson scratched his head “every drop ship is equipped with what we call mole holes, small hatches that can be opened by the pilot, you sure you want to hear about this stuff it is very boring?” the Human asked Kvella.

Kvella answered from behind the camera “you promised to answer the publics questions LT,” Using the human’s nickname.

The human sighed “when we get to the drop point the Mole Holes open and we jump and fall out of the vessel”

Kvella stared as the human finished “our drop jets will kick in allowing us to land safely.”

Kvella nodded keeping her composer “and the 4th method?”

The human sighed “this one is rare but occasionally for one reason or another we need to insert into an environment where special transport is needed, such as an ocean.”

Kvella nodded “go on…”

The Human shifted “so the drop ship is loaded with the right transport, and dropped with personal for about 50 meters at high speeds….”  

Kvella yelled “are you Humans insane!? How did any of you survive long enough to see the…” the camera went black.

It cut back in the Kvella saying “thank you so much, Feqesh from Tophet for your question on this Ask SICON hour.” An alarm blared in the background as the camera went black again.

Dagger squad Quarters:

T’Mai glared as Futuba looked at the piece of paper in front of them with equal intensity, Depoint glanced up from her book asking “what are you two stuck on?”

Futuba glared “I swear 46 down was built to destroy me!” she accused the cross word.

Francis stopped playing with his paddleball a gag gift from the squad as he asked “what is the clue?”

T’Mai read “Rome’s most famous aqueduct….. Five letters”

Ericson entered saying “Gear up we got a job.”  

Francis yelled “officer on deck!”

Everyone snapped up as the human shook his head “as you were, briefing in an hour… also the Tiber River.”

Everyone relaxed and Futuba gasped “it fits!”

Briefing room:

The council official shifted as the squad entered, he let out a sigh of relief upon seeing two non-humans among their ranks.

Ericson saluted Captain Hernandez saying “Dagger squad reporting as ordered, Sir!”

Hernandez nodded “as you were dagger, this is Major Kieta of the council intelligence service.”

Ericson nodded at him “Sir, what can Dagger do for you?”

Kieta answered “we recently lost contact with the planet Nandry 4…18 Terran hours ago they said they were suffering the start of a plague…possibly Bug related, you vessel is the closest ship with the proper personal, you are to evaluate the danger to planet and the council as a whole and decide the proper course of action.”

Ericson frowned “course of action sir?”

Hernandez answered “depending on your we either send for a council medical team…or make the planet glow.”

Kvella asked T’Mai “make the planet glow?”

T’Mai answered “the humans mean bomb the planet.”

Ericson nodded “yes Sir’s…Depoint this is your show, I want a list of everything you need prepped and ready by the time we get into orbit!”

Depoint nodded “on it LT!”

Hernandez said “dismissed!”

  Dropship:

The pilot frowned “lieutenant…”

Ericson got up moving to the cockpit asking “what is it pilot?”

The man said “I’m not picking anything up, no emissions ,no thermals…nothing on motion tracking…”

Ericson said “Intel says this plague started 18 hours ago…is the equipment malfunctioning?”

The pilot answered “no way to know sir…”

Ericson turned on his radio saying “this is Dagger 0-1 we can’t detect any signs of life on the planet, requesting an orbital scan.”

The voice returned “roger that Dagger 0-1 beginning orbital Scan….Dagger 0-1 reading are confirmed there is no detectable signs of life on the planet.”

Ericson turned to the pilot “forget the meet up coordinates find us ground zero and prep a tac drop.”

The pilot nodded “roger sir” pulling up and increasing speed as the ships interior lights changed from blue to red.  

Ericson walked into the cabin calling out “Tac drop, let’s move!”

The team got out of the seats and headed for the mole holes, T’Mai asked “what’s the issue LT?”

Ericson shook his head “unknown but we are getting ready for the worst…helmets on assume airborne!”

The squad chanted “sir yes sir!”

The pilot called “thirty seconds!” the mole holes opened and the squad jumped through them falling into a deserted city.

Kvella deployed her drone midair to get a wide shot of the silent city, the squad landed and Francis pulled out his gun saying “well if they are people around they should have seen that…”

Futuba pulled down her helmets visor saying “power grid is still online…this city seems to be in perfect working order…”

Ericson looked around the empty square “but everyone is gone…it’s like the east wind swept through here.”

Depoint said “sir they were not kidding about some kind of disease…it is everywhere effecting everything.”

Kvella brought the drone in asking “the east wind?”

Francis sighed “drone off in combat zones tourist…but it is an old earth legend a force that would sweep away children that misbehave in their sleep never to be heard from again…it’s unstoppable, undetectable.”

T’Mai looked around asking “and this is a story you tell your children.”

Depoint held up as scanner “a lot of earth legends are like that…perk of growing up on a death world…I think I got something LT.”

Ericson asked “what you got Doc?”

Depoint frowned “undeterminable biomass…”

Francis asked “alive…a survivor?”

Depoint shook her head “no detectable life signs”

Ericson said “but maybe some answers, let’s check it out…Futuba ideas as to why we could not pick it up in the ship?”

Futuba shrugged “our scanners are designed to pick up communities or community sized things if it is small enough and in the right place our systems may not have been sensitive enough to pick it up…”

T’Mai said “and if we couldn’t maybe some else could not either…?”

Ericson nodded “an entire planet population doesn’t just disappear…Depoint lead the way.”

Dagger squad advanced through the deserted town before stopping before a tunnel entrance vaguely similar to a subway entrance. Francis muttered “its defendable LT…”

Futuba cut in “correction was defended…I’m picking up makeshift barricades and other obstacles…”

Ericson squatted looking into the dark tunnel “so something was happening and someone clearly didn’t agree with it…alright combat wedge nice and careful.”  

The team went underground there suits lights turning on with a click. They tore down the barricades and saw a dead local…the creature was small roughly similar to a beaver of earth. It’s eyes had a green foam around them.

Ericson held the squad back saying “Futuba…any booby traps?”

Futuba scanned the room before answering “no explosives, no chemical agents,  no known weapons of any kind.”

Ericson nodded “your show Doc.”

Depoint nodded carefully scanning the body saying “this one was killed by a plague alright…but our scanner is kicking back the hallmarks of a chemical weapon.”

T’Mai blinked “what?”

Francis frowned “bugs don’t use chemical weapons…or anything artificial.”

Depoint nodded “yep and I’m also picking up another oddity…a trademark.”

Ericson frowned “a trademark?! Bugs don’t have businesses”

Kvella pointed out as her drone buzzed by “so it wasn’t the bugs…”

The room went quiet as implication set in; Futuba said “council ships have similar scanning capabilities to our own.”

Depoint sighed “this creature expired close to 64 days ago.”

T’Mai said “why would the council test chemical weapons on its own people and then send a ship to investigate”

Ericson sighed “it’s a cover up….Kvella send your drone out get footage of everything.” Kvella nodded her drone sailing out of the tunnel.

Francis asked “what are you thinking LT?”

Ericson sighed “I’m thinking the council doesn’t have the stomach for this war…so they hired a company to develop a chemical weapon that will wipe out the bugs… the needed a testing ground and chose this city because it was secluded and the locals could contain it easily…then it got out and whipped out the entire planet…so our corp friends got scared, destroyed the bodies from orbit missing our friend here and then contacting the council…they sent us figuring we would write it off as an odd cosmic anomaly and that would be that.”

The squad stayed silent they knew the LT had most likely hit the nail on the head, Depoint cleared her throat “I have identified the Copyright LT…”

Ericson sighed “tag the remains as a bio hazard and get the ship down here.”

 Watson:

As soon as the squad got back aboard they went through quarantine procedures, then Ericson met Hernández and they disappeared into the communication center as the squad returned to their quarters.  

Com Center:

Hernández sighed “Will I’m sorry…”

Ericson asked “I know that tone what is it Hailey?”

Hernández sighed “that council intel guy aboard caught wind of what we found and put in a call to on high… the council stepped in and have classified this entire thing, cancelled the investigation ordered the footage destroyed and the silence of all involved…”

Ericson yelled “they are just covering it up!? What about SICON?”

Hernández sighed “command is as appalled as we are but this didn’t affect any humans and as such the council is blocking all attempts to make these experiments public.”

Ericson sighed “you’re joking…”

Hernández sighed “it gets worse…” and she pulled up a propaganda piece that is now broadcasting throughout council space.

It showed footage of the bugs doing strange things while a voice narrates “these creatures have been attacking innocent civilians for far too long!”

Footage of the Sorak 9 airstrike was shown as the narrator continued “and while the brave forces of the council try to repel these horrible invaders it has been an uphill battle!”

It cut to a laboratory looking building filled with a Varity of council’s species as Narrator kept going “but thanks to new invention’s by Vesta Corp soon the war will come to a safe end! Introducing Apex 99!”

It showed stock footage of old timey humans as they continue “our friends in the strategically integrated collation of Nations developed a weapon a long time ago they Called Anthrax! This powerful chemical was not very useful however until Vesta Corp got involved and using it as a basis managed to develop the bug killing weapon that will save the galaxy! Good work team!” it showed footage of a scientist getting a result on a computer screen and cheering.

Before the footage ended and a card came up saying “want to defend the galaxy?! Join your council member armed forces today!”

 The piece ended and Ericson asked “so they commit war crimes and probable genocide and get a boatload of cash and the love form the public!?”

Hernández nodded “there stock price has already tripled.”

Ericson paused asking “wait…how exactly did this war start?”

Hernández answered “the bug invaded Sorak 9…remember?”

Ericson nodded “yes but why did they invade?”

Hernández blinked “I don’t know…we just went to Defcon 1 and the council told us the bugs declared war…”

Ericson sighed “maybe this whole thing is rubbing me the wrong way…but something is up…I can feel it.”

Hernandez nodded “yea I feel it to.”

  Editing room:

Kvella smiled at the camera trying to forget her boss telling her to delete the footage of that planet and never talk about it again as she said “welcome to this week’s ask SICON hour! This week’s question is from L’Bec of the Kalber….”

Dagger squad quarters:

The squad sat aimlessly trying not to think about the entire planet that was wiped out, Futuba sighed shifting from side to side as she half-heartedly tried to finish the cross word with T’Mai who himself was barely hiding his disgust with the council .

Depoint had a medical book in her hand but had been reading the same page for the last 3 hours her mind wondering back to devastation planet side.

Francis sat on his bunk staring into space as he thought about all those people…after a few minutes Futuba spook up quietly “we are good guys…right?”

The squad stayed quiet not having an answer.

do you think the council is evil!? why do you think the bug started? are our heroes on the right side?  let me know what you think! :D 

[bumi-illustrates]

Reverie: Prologue

This story;plot, characters, ect. belongs to me. I have cross posted on Wattpad with the account Ali_on_Reverie so no trouble there. Have suggestions on how I can make it better? Please let me know! I will happily take all the feedback I can get! Thank you for reading! ~Ali I still remember the day the city was lost to beasts. It was a sunny morning. Not a single cloud disrupted the newly turned cerulean sky. Shades of blues and violets stretched down the ashen street as far as the eye could see. Tents selling trinkets, food and even some trying to coerce young children into their midst for games and prizes. All true signs the festival had finally begun.

The small hand I held squeezed mine, effectively capturing my attention.

“Michael! You weren’t listening to me. Again!”

I couldn’t help the sheepish smile that spread across my lips as I looked at her pastel face which was currently scrunched into a disapproving pout, “Sorry, Lacey. I got caught up in my thoughts again.”

If possible, her lips pulled tighter as she pulled her hand from mine to place both on her hips. She furrowed her snowy eyebrows as her nearly cerise eyes scowled up at me, “The doctors cleared me to come today. Don’t ruin this for me with all your silly worrying.”

“I’m your big brother. Worrying is what I’m supposed to do.” I countered, placing a hand on her shoulder with a light squeeze. I told myself it was to reassure her, but her and I both knew it was I who needed the assurance.

She crossed her arms over her chest as she flattened her expression, but kept her eyes on my own, “No, you’re supposed to be enjoying the festival with me.”

I sighed, squeezing her shoulder a bit tighter, “I-I know. I’m sorry.”

She smiled and unfolded her arms to wrap them around my waist. She looked up at me as she placed her chin flat against my chest. She visibly brightened as she shut her eyes as a large, toothy smile consumed her face, “Loosen up, okay? I’m not dead yet.”

I couldn’t help the sudden rush of paralysis that seemed to forcibly grip my body. Yet. She was right. Her health was on and off. The doctors were unable to diagnose her properly. Research was slow and it was more than likely her body would give out before a cure was found. Afterall, there’s no curing an illness that doesn’t exist. I vaguely registered Lacey’s grip falter on my waist and her eyes began to droop, “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

I barely made sense of her words as my own arms sluggishly moved to encircle her delicate frame. I couldn’t find the strength to look into her eyes, so I decided to keep my gaze set staring straight ahead. My eyes burned painfully as hot tears threatened to spill. My arms were growing steadily tighter around her and I could feel her worried gaze burning a hole underneath my jaw. The fabric of my shirt bunched tightly at my back and I slowly moved my eyes downward to meet my baby sister’s reassuring smile, “Let’s go visit dad. Please?”

I blinked, pushing away the heated saline my eyes were desperately trying to release as I gave a forced smile and tight nod. She returned to our previous position of tightly gripping my hand as we began to walk through the throng of the public. Some rushing to the next vendor to get to as many as they possibly could while others meandered, quietly observing the merriments. I could hear Lacey excitedly talking about the kiosks we passed, particularly the ones selling any kind of jewelry or crystals. She had always loved anything that sparkled. Mother called her ‘Little Crow’. No other nickname had ever fit so perfectly. When she was younger, Lacey would pick up anything and everything that even remotely shone in the light. She would then store it in a box and when it was finally full, she would use what was inside to decorate it.

The Festival of Worship was an excellent place to find jewels and anything that glitters. After all, it was rumored that the Goddess of Dreams adored twinkling trinkets. It was written at the temple that all the offerings given to Her were taken back to Her realm as a trophy and in turn, She would make the offeror’s wildest dream come true. The town’s people obviously didn’t have high expectations, or the municipality wouldn’t be crumbling to ruins beneath a giant gold temple.

“Michael, look! There’s dad!”

I almost lost my footing as Lacey sharply tugged on my arm, making a run towards our father’s booth. As our father’s ocean blue eyes caught sight of us, he began to wave with a large smile on his face.

“Lacey, my girl! The doctors finally let you out of the sick bay!”

“Too bad they let Michael pick me up! I don’t think he heard a single thing I said the whole way here!” She poked light heartedly.

Father’s slightly rounded gut shook as he gave a deep belly laugh, slapping a large hand on my back, consequently sending me stumbling forward a step, “Always the worrier, this one! Just like your mother!”

I grumbled as I gently pushed his hand away from me with my wrist, “I don’t understand how you aren’t worried. You do realize mom died because of the same thing, don’t you?”

He roughly moved his hand from my back to gripping the back of my neck and I found myself unable to stop from cringing slightly. As he began guiding us further into the booth and away from Lacey, he spoke lowly, “Listen, Mike. How is Lacey going to hold out hope for life if the people around her don’t? Do not misunderstand my feelings, boy. I loved your mother with everything I have, and I love you both just so.” I skeptically looked into his eyes, taking a slight notice of the wrinkles beginning to form at the corners. I couldn’t help but wonder where he was going with this, “Your sister will die. That much is certain.” I opened my mouth to scold him, but he held up his hand, silencing me, “You must come to terms with that. Now, if you take anything away from what I tell you here, let it be this, make her final days like her trinkets. Let the girl sparkle with all her might before she parts from this world. Our job is not to like what’s happening, or even to accept that it is happening. Our job is to make sure she knows she’s loved. If you want to be upset about the circumstances this family is in, do it away from her and when she’s in your presence, you pull your act together. You’re the older child, start acting like it, yeah?”

He placed a firm hand on my shoulder as I stubbornly decided to find the ground much more fascinating than him, “Stay back here until you’ve recollected yourself, I’ll tell Lacey I asked you to unpack some of the boxes. Join us up front when you’re sure you can keep a façade up. Ideally, you can find some happiness just being with her, but I understand it’s hard, so a façade will work fine, just make sure it’s believable, huh?”

He gave my shoulder a final pat before he began to walk back to the front of the booth where Lacey was currently fawning over one of his newest dream catchers. I caught the sound of their voices as they spoke. The noise of the streets in front began to fade as my hands clenched tightly into fists. I felt my jaw tighten as it locked firmly, pressing my teeth together uncomfortably. My eyes fixated angrily on the back of his head through the boxes that separated the front of the booth from the back. His once blonde hair was beginning to turn a pale shade of gray. His broad shoulders shook as his head leaned back slightly in laughter. I could barely make out Lacey’s snowy hair as she moved wildly in front of him, probably trying to get patrons passing by to stop and buy one of father’s dream catchers. Our booth started because mother loved to design and weave dream catchers. Every year at the festival, tourists and natives alike came to marvel at her creations. She had a knack for it and became something of a celebrity during the festival. When Lacey was no more than two years old, she would sit at the front of the booth with Lacey in her lap as she worked her materials to her liking. Father and I would be selling the dream catchers, sometimes the knickknacks would sell out faster than she could make them, and we would have to close the booth before the sun had even reached its peak.

Then the first person was diagnosed with a new illness. An illness that came in waves. One day the infected would be fine, the next they would be bedridden and on the brink of death. The symptoms were never the same, but there is one continuity, death. No matter the symptoms, each person infected will eventually die. Because the disease has no common symptoms, doctors and scientists have yet to be able to find a cause or a cure. Or a name.

I gave a forced sigh and loosened my hands. Closing my eyes, I took another deep breath in an effort to calm my rather active thoughts on the matter. There was no way I would lie about how I felt. Mother didn’t raise us to put up facades and hide behind false smiles. And I could never forgive myself if I dishonored her memory like that. Might as well make an honest man of dad. I thought bitterly to myself as I leaned over to pick up one of the partially unpacked boxes. I began pinning the dream catchers to a designated cork board to display them when what sounded like bursts of short hissing reached my ears.

“Pst. Pssssst!”

I lifted my head from my task and took note of the deep violet curtain that separated our booth from the ones next to us. Seeing nothing, I got back to work.

“Pssst! PSSSSSST!”

My eyebrows furrowed and my eye twitched in irritation.

“Michael! Pssst! Michael! Michael!”

Snapping my head sharply to look at the identical violet curtain behind me, I found an unmistakable face staring at me with a mischievous grin. Eyes like amber with threads of midnight hair framing a slightly tanned face poked out from underneath the makeshift wall. Her chin was supported by both hands with her elbows planted on the hard sidewalk beneath her. No doubt behind the curtain she was on her stomach with her ankles crossed and feet in the air. I couldn’t help the rather obnoxious snort that pushed itself through my nose.

“You are such a child. Get off the ground.” I scold, turning back to my pinning as I heard the curtain shuffle slightly.

“Come on, Mr. James! We’ve had this talk! You pooped on your party, but no way, no how I’m going to let you poop on mine!”

“So, what is it you wanted?” I asked, turning to look at her.

“Man, what is up with you? You’ve got a bigger thorn bush shoved up your backside than usual!” she complained, puffing out her cheeks slightly in disapproval.

“I’m just not in the mood right now, okay? We’ve got a lot going on.” I muttered, looking down at the work in front of me.

Jenna’s mom was best friends with my mother, so it stood to reason that Jenna and I grew up together. Normally I told her everything, but Lacey became sick almost a month ago. No one except the doctors, father and myself know. Father has always been a private kind of guy, especially after we lost mother. He wanted us to keep this to ourselves, the same way we hid mother’s for months before it was obvious, she was at her limit. I realized that during my little pity party, it had gone deathly silent save for the bustling of the festival. I quickly snapped my eyes up to find Jenna sitting on some boxes next to me. A flash of dread flooded my veins at the look in her eyes. It was so intense it sent a shiver through my heart, yet, I couldn’t decipher what emotion was dancing through her swirling pools of honey.

“I saw you pick Lacey up from the hospital.”

I felt a thousand needles suddenly pierce my already tingling body. My head began to spin and freeze up all at once. I could here my blood being pumped through my body, keeping me alive. Only, I didn’t feel alive. I felt cold and lifeless.

Before I could register what was going on, my chest felt heavy and soft, silky tresses were pressed against the side of my stiff neck. I could feel my shirt being gripped at my shoulder blades. My chest grew tighter and my eyes could no longer keep the burning, briny tears at bay. Though no sound escaped my mouth, I knew Jenna was aware of my tears because her grip on me tightened, as if she was trying to physically hold me together.

“It’s okay to cry, Michael.” Her voice was breathy, hardly a whisper, yet strained, as if she too, was trying not to cry.

I could feel more hot tears pool in my eyes as I bit my lip, trying desperately not to make a sound. My attempts failed as I let out a choked sob, quickly wrapping my arms securely around Jenna. My head fell to the crook of her neck and I could feel my emotions wracking my body, producing tremors. Jenna tightened her grip once more, placing her chin against my shoulder, her own tears dripping onto my shirt and soaking the skin underneath. But even though we found ourselves both in vulnerable positions, I found some form of comfort knowing I didn’t have to suffer without a friend. The rearing feeling of guilt in the thought of finding even a sliver of relief became a piercing stab planting itself deeply in my gut. Even with the pain of it, I couldn’t quench the small relief I was feeling.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

I felt her nimble fingers at the nape of my neck, gently using her nails to absent mindedly brush the hair there, “Don’t apologize. And I know it’s not what you want to hear, but your dad is right. I know this is hard, especially after losing your mom only two years ago. But besides that, Lacey needs you. For the time being, there is no cure. So, try to just think about the now. Love her and be with her before you have the chance to regret it.”

I pulled back from her, staring at her soft features, “How did you-?”

“I was on the floor longer than you think. I just didn’t want to make things awkward.” Her eyes were red from crying, but her lopsided grin was still bright and full of life.

I couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped past my barely upturned lips. Using the heel of my palms I wiped away the evidence of my tears. Jenna was still smiling at me when I looked fully at her for what seemed like the first time since she made herself known. I took a deep breath before releasing it, calming my body and easing my thoughts.

“I hate to admit it, but the old man and you are right. I need to focus my time and energy on being happy with Lacey.” I casually turned to stand next to Jenna rather than in front of her. With a quick swing of my arm, I wrapped her shoulders in a half hug and locked her to my side, “What say you, we take Lacey around the festival? We can buy her something sparkly, eat good food, play some games? Who knows? Maybe pulls some pranks on unsuspecting pedestrians?”

Jenna laughed and wrapped her own arm behind me to grip my shoulder, “Now that sounds like a good party! Let’s get to it!”

Letting go of each other, we made our way to the front of the tent where we found Lacey finishing up a sale and father standing behind her, beaming with pride. He must have heard us approaching because he turned his head slightly and smiled wider, “Michael! Finally finished that box, huh? And how are you today, Jenna?”

“Doing great, Mr. James! You’ve certainly out done yourself with all these beautiful dream catchers!” She gave him a quick hug before looking pointedly at all the dream catchers hanging from the makeshift rafters, he had rigged them up with some old wire fencing.

“Thank you kindly, kiddo! Remember, you’re always more than welcome to help yourself to your favorite!”

“Maybe later, dad. We were hoping we could take Lacey around to look at some of the vendors before tonight. You know, before the crowds really set in.”

His eyes widened a bit before a soft smile fell upon his face, “I think that’s a great idea.”

I returned his smile and gave a quick nod before approaching Lacey.

“Thank you, ma’am! Please enjoy the festival!”

A small click could be heard as Lacey shut the small money box located under a small table covered with a lavender tablecloth. I stepped forward into her peripheral vision and she turned quickly to look at me with that smile that looked so much like our mother’s.

“Michael! Did you see? I made my first sale!”

“I saw, and by the looks of the wad of cash you stuffed into the box, it was a good one.”

“She bought three of dad’s catchers! Three!”

I beamed at her, but the tightness in my chest was beginning to ebb its way back into me. How many more sales will she get to make? I shut my eyes and took a quick breath to shake the negative feelings away. This isn’t about that. Not now.

“How about Jenna and I take you to look around? You know, to celebrate.”

The expression that seemed to take over her entire body made a warm, gentle feeling spread over me, like a cozy blanket on a cold night. Or the first sip of hot chocolate while watching the snowfall. However, it was gone as quickly as it came. The realization that once Lacey is gone, I’ll never get to witness that adorable face she makes when she’s excited ever again. It will be gone, along with everything else I love about her.

“Michael! Are you ready or what?” Jenna’s voice called me back to reality and I realized they were already standing outside of the tent, staring quizzically at me.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” I tried to keep my voice from shaking, the looks on their faces letting me know that even if the tremor in my voice was there, it went unnoticed by the two girls.

As I moved to leave, father’s voice called me, “Son!” Before I could turn to look at him, I felt strong arms around my shoulders, “Thank you. And be careful out there.”

The look in his eyes caught my attention as we pulled away and forced an uncomfortable wave of confusion into my heart. Be careful? It’s the Festival of Worship. Why does he look sad? Shouldn’t he be happy? Why does this feel like he knows something? No. I took notice of a flash of knowing scatter through his vibrant blue eyes. I found myself skeptically narrowing my own at him. No. He does know something.

“Right. We’ll be back before sunset.” I spoke slowly, trying to gage his reaction.

He just smiled and it was as if the tension had suddenly burst into thin air. As if the moment had never happened, “No need to rush! You know the festival is always so beautiful at night! I’ll be fine running the booth on my own! Go on! Enjoy yourselves!”

My brows furrowed in confusion, but I didn’t want to worry Jenna and Lacey with, well, whatever that was.

“R-Right. Thanks, dad. We’ll be careful.”

I began walking swiftly towards the waiting girls, when his voice reached my ears once more. It sounded like a warning. My step faltered and I turned to ask what he had said, but his back was to me as he headed towards the back. A suffocating sensation gripped my throat. What the heck was that about? Deciding to ask about it later, I continued towards the girls, covering my mouth slightly with a fist as I uneasily cleared my throat. But even so, I couldn’t shake the feeling that was keeping me from nearly gasping for air. Get your answers later, I told myself determinedly, you need to focus on having a good time with Lacey and Jenna. That is your only concern. Don’t let your emotions take over.

As we began walking, a thought clicked into my head that cause me to groan involuntarily. This is what a façade is. Ugh! I’m such a liar. I ended the thought with a defeated sigh and looked up to the girls just in time, as Lacey grabbed Jenna’s hand and made a ninety degree turn towards a booth selling crystal pendants and figurines. I smiled slightly, happy to see her having a good time, happy that they didn’t notice my little self-berating episode.

“Michael! Look! This one looks like Sprinkles!” Lacey squealed, raising a small red cat figurine.

The cut of it had rather large ears and the tail was carved to be straight up with a small curve added to the tip of it. Running down the figurines back was a lighter stripe, almost orange. To top it off, a pair of tiny sapphires glinted slightly in the light, giving the crystal a pair of magnificent blue eyes.

My eyes were fixated on the tiny cobalt stones as I smiled, remembering our old cat that was inappropriately named Sprinkles. Lacey had picked the name. I still remember her explanation, “I love sprinkles! And I love this kitty!” But, even with the sweet name, that cat was the worst. Lacey was constantly covered in scratches and father couldn’t come within a few feet of the little monster without getting his ankles bit. Mother was allergic to him, so she stayed away from him. Surprisingly enough, that cat never really bothered me. He wasn’t exactly what I would have called friendly, but he would curl up next to me on the couch and nap. Never touching me, but always close. We more had an indifferent relationship. He minded his space, I minded mine.

“That cat was the worst!” Jenna laughed, speaking my thoughts.

“Aw, come on! He was just grumpy because he was old! Remember your grandpa? He was grumpy, too!” Lacey defended despite the laugh beginning to slip from her lips.

“Lacey, Lacey, Lacey.” Jenna smiled with a slow shake of her head, “Gramps was grumpy for a totally reason. Trust me. Living with Gram was no easy feat.”

At that, the laugh Lacey was trying to hold back erupted full force and the two of them practically fell into each other as the laughter consumed them. I chuckled slightly at the two before turning to the owner, “She’ll take it.”

After paying for the Sprinkles look-a-like, we continued through the streets. Vendors were lined up for about a mile on either side of main street. Behind the tents and booths, various sizes of brick buildings stood. Some stood tall, having recently been reinforced, while others had large cracks and faded color. Most of the buildings were erected with red bricks of varying shades, most of them housing units for the towns people. Any shop buildings or warehouses were built with concrete. The separation in color helped tourists know which buildings were public and which were private.

We continued to walk down the road. Typical asphalt, like most places. It used to be cobblestone, but times change, and the people decided they wanted to keep up with the times as best we could. Not that our tiny town is exactly modern. More like an old, forgotten city that someone took pity on and decided to try to care for it. The sidewalks in Spero were wider than what is normally found. The people here like to walk to their destination, and with the added width, what I assumed to be about double what most are, the festival is made the much easier. The vendors have plenty of room to stay on the sidewalk to stay off the road which leaves plenty of room for both pedestrians and the occasional vehicle.

The longer we walked and the more places we stopped; I couldn’t help but take in all the decorations. Lavenders, violets and indigos. A lot of blues and teals. But most appealing to me, were the little accents of gold and maroon. Some tents even had yellow curtains or streamers hanging down the sides of their set up. Above the tents were strings of lights. Some had more than others and some had decided against the lights and gone for hanging lines of decorative jewels surrounded by gold. The reflection of the sun on the metals and gems tricked the eye into believing it was glowing, even in the light of day. Come nightfall, they would reflect the lights of the other vendors and the entire town will glow as if fairies and mythical creatures lived here.

I had been so lost in thought I hadn’t realized we were already standing back in front of father’s booth. Lacey and Jenna were talking excitedly about everything we had seen and already planning their trip back through when the sun finally went down. Wait a minute. The sun. I finally got myself up to my thoughts and looked up. I felt my eyes widen and my heart skip a beat. What?

“Michael, what’s wrong?” Lacey asked, cutting off her conversation when she noticed me staring towards the sky.

“The sun.”

She and Jenna shared a worried glance, “What about it?”

My body froze in place as my eyes desperately snapped back and forth, up and down. Looking. Searching. What happened? The longer I stared, the more rigid I became.

“This isn’t possible.”

The words leaving my lips seemed so far off, like some one else had been the one to speak it.

“Michael! What’s wrong?” Jenna spoke forcefully. Not angry, no. She was scared. I was scaring her.

But I couldn’t help it. I was losing my grip on reality. This can’t be happening! This can’t be real! It’s not possible! I have to do something! I have to say something! Why can’t I move? Panic began to set in as my body gave in completely to the terror I was feeling. My limbs felt like anchors and my chest was constricting painfully. It was getting worse. It was becoming unbearably tight. Like someone had placed a vice around my chest and was just waiting for it to get tight enough to pop my body like a grape.

Lacey and Jenna were at my side now. Lacey pulling desperately on my sleeve, begging me to answer her. Jenna was in front of me, snapping her fingers in front of me, shouting at me, even go as far as to slap me across the face. They screamed and sobbed, begging and hollering. The commotion caused father to come rushing from the back of the booth. His expression turned, dark, hard.

“Get away from him!” He bellowed, taking one girl in each arm and pulling them away from me and back into the booth.

“But dad! What’s happening? Why isn’t Michael responding?” Lacey cried.

Before he could answer, a solid force slammed directly into my chest. The might of it must have knocked my body from whatever hold it was previously under, though not for long. I felt a hand grab my right wrist tightly, at the same moment I felt an arm from the same side wrap securely around my waist. I another foreign hand grasped my left hand, intertwining their fingers with mine. A shiver of disgust ran down my spine as a fourth hand gripped my jaw, forcing me to look forward. Whatever was holding me pressed itself against my back and I went stiff once more.

“People of Spero!” It was a she. Definitely a woman. Her voice was sharp, it cut right through me and my body jolted in fear. The arm around my waist tightened at my involuntary movement, but she continued, “Your angel has arrived!”

The ice in my blood quickly shifted to fire. Angel? What angel has four arms and attacks a human? Angel my foot! You’re nothing but a disgusting demon! I was suddenly able to move again, though not for long as I was spun around to face the thing holding me. She used my right arm to pull me closer to her, the arm around my waist moving to grip my neck. Not tight enough to cut off air, but enough to do so in the blink of an eye if she needed. I sucked in a sharp breath nervously.

“You, insolent little boy! Insulting the very being that currently holds your life in her hands is a fool’s move, child!” She hissed, baring sharp, incredibly white teeth.

I swallowed hard. She heard me! How?

A flash of amusement crossed her face before she narrowed her gamboge eyes at me once more, “And for further education, child, an angel, is not a being.” She spoke from further back in her throat now. A sound that reverberated up and down my spine with each word, a low husky drawl that was clearly a thing of nightmares, “Angel means messenger. And I am yours.”

[redditnosleep]

There Was A Series Of Unexplained Deaths In My Town In 1988

by crystakat

In the winter of 1988, bodies began appearing on the border between my town and the surrounding woods. A group of campers had stumbled upon a man in his early thirties, completely nude and almost perfectly preserved by the cold weather. By the end of the day, two more had been found within a quarter-mile radius. All three were naked, found lying on open ground as if there’d been no attempt to hide them. One woman and two men. None bore any visible wounds.

The news exploded. It was a little backwoods town where not much happened, so when three strangers turned up dead hardly a mile off of Revell Street, it became all anyone could talk about. I was just a kid then, a few months into sixth grade, and the rumors that spread around school were ridiculous.

Family breakfast that morning was quieter than usual. Mom was horrified, poring over the newspaper as she wondered aloud if it was safe to send my eight-year-old sister and me to school by ourselves.

“Jesus,” she said, gesturing at the paper. “Look at this, Michael. They put their photos in. That’s just not decent.”

Dad glanced over. “I’ll bet you it’s drugs, and this whole fuss is for nothing.”

“Can I see?” I asked, reaching out to take the paper from mom.

She pursed her lips. “Fine, but don’t show Mandy.” I grabbed it and looked it over: three grainy pictures of nondescript faces. It was kind of disappointing, though I didn’t dare say that out loud. While mom was washing the dishes, I let my sister have a peek.

Mandy stuck her tongue out as she looked them over. “That one looks like William,” she giggled, pointing at the leftmost photo, a man with dark hair and a rasp of stubble. “He’s a boy in my class.” It was so innocently morbid that I couldn’t help but laugh. I got up to help mom with the dishes, though even as I occupied myself with chores, I couldn’t help but linger on the strange deaths.

My dad insisted there was a logical explanation for it all. Three young people, drunk and stumbling lost in the woods on a below-zero night… well, he said, you can imagine what happens next.

In the following week, he was proven wrong. The autopsy was published: no trace of drugs, medicinal or otherwise, in their blood. No alcohol either. The cause of death couldn’t be ascertained; there had been no physical trauma, no blood loss, no pre-existing medical conditions. The article in the newspaper declared it most closely resembled death by shock: a sudden, massive rush of adrenaline essentially stunning the heart into inaction. That only seemed to open up more questions. One person might have been explainable, but three? What’s enough to shock three people like that?

A chunk of the woods had already been put under police patrol when a new body turned up, nude yet unharmed like the others. It’d been snowing pretty heavily that winter, blanketing the woods in a thick white layer, and at night I’d lay awake and think of how awful it was to die like that, freezing and alone with only the shadows of trees stretching over you.

Before the week was over, there was a fifth body, sprawled in almost the exact same spot. Somehow, nobody had seen where it’d come from. One police officer interviewed by the press said he’d been passing through the area just minutes prior, and in the time that he was gone, it was like it'd just “blinked into existence”.

A fresh wave of rumors emerged at school, though now they were less nervously excited, more tinged with fear. Though the evidence was frustratingly nonexistent, the unspoken consensus was that they had to be murders.

When a sixth body popped up, a 10 pm curfew was imposed on adults and children alike. If I remember correctly, that was around the time the FBI caught wind of the case. The whole stretch of forest had already been cordoned off with police tape, the perimeter constantly surveilled by a flock of solemn-looking officers who made sure no one got in or out. I’d used to play in that forest all the time with my friends, and seeing it suddenly made into the site of six bloodless deaths was surreal, to say the least. That was what the media started calling it: the Bloodless Murders. Sometimes the bodies came in pairs, sometimes alone. By the tenth or eleventh, there was a definite pattern: while they varied in ethnicity and sex, they were all relatively young, twenties to forties, and all found nude. Some even looked as if they’d had clothes on minutes before, with the indentation of a watch or waistband still etched into their skin at the time of discovery.

Have you ever been in a room where everyone’s holding their breath? Every person just waiting for the ball to drop, the silence so bad that you could almost drown in it? Now imagine a whole town.

You want to know the strangest part about all this? Weeks dragged on, and none of the bodies were ever identified. Their fingerprints were intact, but there were no known matches. DNA testing came up empty. A public campaign to find the identities of the Bloodless victims turned up nothing. It was like these people had emerged from nowhere. Deprived of their names and backstories, the victims went unmourned, blurred into one murky entity.

Shit really hit the fan about a month into the case. Some up-and-coming journalist—a guy by the name of Walton, I think—claimed to have uncovered the truth behind it all, and wrote a tell-all article divulging the details that hadn’t been released by police or FBI. Apparently, the Bloodless Murders weren’t so bloodless after all. It was true that most were found untouched, but four of the dead practically had had bites taken out of them, whole sections of their bodies just gone. One guy was missing almost half his right side, and one of the women was short an arm. “Bites” might be a little misleading, though. The missing pieces had been removed cleanly—almost too cleanly. In Walton’s words, they looked as if they’d been “scooped” out, or simply magicked away.

Walton claimed he had the records to prove the area was under even more intense surveillance than most would’ve guessed. Besides hundreds of cameras that had been covertly installed in trees and rocks throughout the forest, there were also loads of temperature data loggers and state-of-the-art recording equipment, along with a whole host of other devices that I couldn’t even wrap my head around. Stuff that measured radiation and minute changes in the composition of the air. If he was right, it must’ve cost a ton. Supposedly the data showed “climatological deviations”—basically weird spikes and dips in temperature corresponding to the times that the bodies were found.

If Walton was right, there was a good chance that the FBI was in possession of video and audio recordings showing the origin of the bodies. It sounded like a crazy conspiracy, even though Walton hadn’t been able to come up with a solid theory for the reason behind the cover-ups. That was the part that drove me crazy. I must’ve re-read that article a hundred times.

What happened next was total lockdown. The newspaper was pulled from publication in the blink of an eye. Walton publicly apologized for having made fabricated claims and trying to make a spectacle out of the deaths. Not much was heard from him after that. The case was under the full jurisdiction of the FBI, according to my parents, and local police were all but shut out of it. I don’t know what happened, exactly, but suddenly the media coverage dropped to zero.

At school, the teachers gave a talk about it, how we were all safe and there was to be no further spreading of rumors. I remember thinking about the weirdness of that whole day. While Mr. Russell was going on and on about the importance of following the curfew, there’d been a team of adults who quietly escorted kid after kid out of the room, ushering each one back in about ten minutes later. One of them was my friend, Sophia. After the assembly, I quizzed her about what had happened over a lunch of stale pizza.

“It was really weird,” she said, picking halfheartedly at her food. “They took a sample of my spit, and some of my hair and nails too. You think they’re checking for diseases?”

I didn’t know how to answer her. The whole thing left a sour taste in mouth, and I felt helpless and scared. The parents must’ve been encouraged not to talk about it either, because whenever I brought it up to my mom and dad after the whole Walton fiasco had gone down, they shut me down fast.

In hindsight, I probably never should have attempted the plan. On a Friday night, I snuck out after curfew, armed with only a handful of granola bars and a flashlight. I biked down to the woods. It didn’t take long; it was one of those childhood routes that you know by heart. I wasn’t even sure about what I was hoping to find. Chalk it up to mix of curiosity and senselessness.

There were patrols standing around, but I managed to make my way to a dense copse of trees and snuck in from there, feeling my heart racing a hundred miles an hour as I ducked under the yellow police tape. The sheer stupidity of my idea hadn’t quite settled in yet. If what Walton had written about the surveillance had been true, there wasn’t a chance in hell that I wasn’t going to get spotted, but being a kid and all, I hoped I’d get off with a slap on the wrist. I turned my flashlight on to the dimmest setting and began my trek, praying that I knew the path through the woods as well as I thought.

Time passed differently that night. Maybe I was walking around for thirty minutes; maybe it was three hours. The sky was inky black, and in the darkness, the trees distorted themselves into more and more monstrous forms with each step I took. All I know is, when I stumbled across the body, the world came to a shuddering halt.

Under the cone of artificial light, the body looked fresh, the skin still pink. I remembered thinking if I’d touched him, he might still have been warm. His eyes were wide open, glassy as a river, face set in an expression of determination. There was a tattoo on his bare chest, a sentence written in a shaky scrawl:

IT COMES ON 07.11.2036

[silenceerased]

Hugs (Pt 1)

Prompt: Your hugs heal people but it comes with a great cost. It decreases your own lifespan by 5%. Only the richest of the rich come to see you. You have cured clients with cancer, aids, incurable diseases, and more. However, those poor children dying in the hospital, the urge to help them eats you alive. You are getting depressed as you can’t stand this injustice any longer. You set out to visit a hospital for children with terminal illnesses. You write two words on a piece of cardboard: “Free hugs”. (Changed it from 5% to making it depend on the severity of the problem being healed)

“What am I up to now, Sys?” I asked aloud, exiting the large mansion.

“You’re at 53% life capacity, sir,” the AI responded into my earpiece. “Would you like me to call you a cab to your next appointment?”

I sighed. “Are there any immediate emergencies?”

“No, sir. Two smokers, one of which you’ve treated in the past.”

“Alright then, Sys. Do me a favor and let my manager know I’m taking the rest of the day off. Just add the two to my list tomorrow,” I responded as I walked off the property and onto the sidewalk. I wasn’t in any mood to deal with any more men who decide it’s fine to not give a shit about their health just because I’m around.

“Good plan, sir,” she commented while working on the email. “Would you still like a cab?”

I took a quick look around the neighborhood, revelling in the peaceful morning of a usually busy city. “Nah, Sys. I think I’ll just take a walk around.” I spotted a small bakery across the street. “Maybe get a bite to eat.”

“Alright, sir. I will send the message to Ms. Evans now. Enjoy your morning and be sure not to eat too much sugar.”

“Thanks, Sys,” I laughed. Of course it would be an AI that would care most about my well-being. I crossed the street to enter the bakery and I was immediately greeted by a warm room and delicious aroma. “Mm, that smells good.”

“I’m glad you think so, dear,” an elderly woman replied as she walked into the storefront from the kitchen. “I’ve never seen you around here before.”

“Yeah, I just came here for work. I’m not from around these parts,” I said as I eyed the wonderfully sugary goods in the glass case. “Is there anything you’d recommend?”

She gave me a kind smile and answered, “The cheese danishes are my daughter’s favorite. She used to ask for one for breakfast every day before going to school.”

I let out a small smile of my own at the clear fondness in her voice. “That’s a good enough review for me. I’ll take two to go.”

The woman, who was named Ellie James according to her nametag, put two danishes in a brown paper bag and placed them on the counter. “That’ll be $7, Mr…”

“Peter is fine, Mrs. James.”

She smiled again. “Okay, then. That’ll be $7, Mr. Peter,” she joked, giggling a bit to herself. “And you can just call me Ellie.”

I couldn’t help but laugh with her. I handed her the right amount of money before asking, “So, what’s there to do around here? I’m taking the rest of the day off and I’m looking for a nice place to relax.”

Ellie pondered for a moment before saying, “It’s a pretty quiet neighborhood. Very residential. Just filled with rich folks and nice cars. But there’s a nice little park just a few blocks away. It’s near a children’s hospital.” She grabbed another danish and put it in a bag. “I was actually just on my way there to visit my daughter and granddaughter.”

“If that’s the case, then may I accompany you on your trip on this fine day?” I asked with an exaggerated bow.

She laughed heartily. “Oh, you silly thing. That would be lovely. Just let me tell my assistant that I’m off to visit the hospital.” She went back into the kitchen.

I took out a danish and examined it. It was still warm and flaky and smelled like heaven. I took a bite and groaned. This was damn good. I needed to make an effort to come here whenever I was in the city. “Hey, Sys,” I called out to my trusty personal assistant (if you could call her that).

“Hello, sir. Enjoying your danish?”

“Very much so,” I said in between bites. “Can you search up the children’s hospital Ellie was talking about?”

“Of course, sir. Give me a moment.” I let her do her thing as I finished off my first danish. “Okay, sir. It’s called the Children’s Hope Hospital. It offers care for all children but is known for taking especially difficult cases. Many rich donors from this neighborhood fund the hospital so patients generally pay little to no fee.”

“I bet they only do it for the tax deduction,” I grumbled.

“Don’t forget the good publicity, sir.”

“Ah, yes. That too,” I rolled my eyes. “Would it kill these people to actually do things out of the goodness of their heart?”

“Ironic that you would say that, sir,” Sys chimed in. “Considering your circumstances.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think any of them would actually die if they helped out more.”

“Alright, dear. Are you ready?” Ellie’s voice brought me out of my mood and I gave her a small smile.

“All ready. Shall we go?” I offered her my arm, getting a giggle from the woman.

“How charming,” she said, grabbing onto my elbow, before leading me out of the bakery.

The walk to the hospital was pretty short, but it gave me enough time to talk to Ellie.

“Do you mind me asking about your family?” I asked after a few moments of silence.

She let out a small hum. “Ask away, dear.”

“How old’s your granddaughter?”

“Ella’s just 8 years old,” she answered quietly. “Her mother named her after me, you know.”

“Ella’s a beautiful name,” I said. “Is it serious?”

Ellie looked down. “She’s been in the hospital for 6 months. To this day, the doctors say they’re not 100% certain about what’s wrong with her, but without being hooked up to machines, her lungs wouldn’t be strong enough to work on their own.”

“Oh.”

A tense silence fell upon us. I wasn’t sure if trying to further this subject would be a smart idea, so I kept quiet. After a while, she broke the silence. “She’s being so strong about it, you know. Ella, I mean,” she said fondly. “Despite everything, the first thing she does when she sees me is ask how my leg is doing. I tripped a month before she was hospitalized, sprained it and everything. Of course it’s healed up by now, but she always asks. She’s there, bedridden constantly, but she always asks.”

I felt my eyes water a little but blinked back the tears. “She sounds… very kind. What a great kid.”

“The best.”

Before I knew it, we were at the entrance to the hospital.

“Thanks for walking me all the way, dear.” Ellie smiled up at me. “The world needs more young men like you.”

I laughed uncomfortably. “It was no problem. I was happy to keep you company.”

“Well, I best be off. You come visit the bakery more often, alright?” she asked.

I grinned. “Of course. Where else will I get the best cheese danishes in the world?”

She laughed as she entered the hospital, leaving me alone on the sidewalk. The smile dropped off my face as I stared at the glass door. Young men like me? With all that I can do but don’t?

I’m brought out of my thoughts by a ringtone in my ear. “Hello?”

“Peter.” Great. It’s Evans.

“What is it?” I said, not in the mood to talk to anyone, especially not her.

“What’s this email about moving your appointments? You know you can’t just do that!” she all but screamed into the earpiece.

I winced at the volume. “I just wanted a break. Geez…”

I could almost feel the glare burning through the phone. “You can’t just decide how to change your schedule. Months of planning have gone into this.”

“Fine, Erin,” I conceded. There was no point in arguing the terms of my contract. “I’ll have Sys call a cab for me.”

“Thank you, Peter. I’ll see you there.” She hung up.

I sighed. “Sys, you heard all that, right?”

“Yes, sir. The cab will be there shortly,” she responded.

I looked at the glass doors again. Yeah, young men like me? As if we need anymore of that.

[footmantravelagency]

5 Reasons Why You Need A Travel Agent - More Than Ever

Want to rent a villa in Tuscany and do it on your own? It’s simple. Just type “Villa Rentals Tuscany” into Google, then wade through the four and a half million responses - most of which look the same, whether they are good or bad, legit or bogus. Spend just 10 seconds each vetting sites, and you’ll be done in a year and a half - and still won’t have rented anything.

Good luck with that - or even with much simpler planning, like searches for “straightforward” airfares. The major search sites routinely leave out flights (lots of them) and even entire airlines. A lot of the flights they do show are ones you don’t want, starting with “basic economy” fares that hit you with tons of restrictions and fees, so the price you see isn’t the one you end up paying, along with connections way too short or way too long, ones that no responsible travel agent would let you book.

Travel agents are even more important to luxury travelers, who ironically often think they know a lot about travel and rely on their own misguided sense of expertise. But while a good agent is so vital that it is simply foolish to plan a high-end trip on your own without one, they can also help travelers of all budgets.

The reality is that while it was widely predicted that the internet was going to kill off travel agents when digital tools were placed at every traveler’s disposal, that just hasn’t happened, for several good reasons.

Shannon Compton Game writes on money saving travel tips and budget travel for Outside Magazine, not the publication I’d expect to praise travel agents over DIY. But last year she wrote a column about his subject and opened with, “I’m a big fan of travel agents, even though I could technically book all my trips through websites and apps.” She then listed the specific pros of using an agent: “They can find crazy deals”; “They will be your advocate”; “They’ll take care of the little things”; “They’re true experts” and “They don’t usually cost extra.”

True, true, true, true and true. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

I have been writing on travel and related tips for over a quarter of a century. I’m an expert on the subject, and I get interviewed and publicly speak about it. Do I sometimes use a travel agent? Absolutely. When friends ask for travel advice, and they do, all the time, one of the first suggestions I always make is to get a good travel agent. My tech savviest friends use travel advisors, and so does every major corporation - because it is the smart thing to do.

“Yes, the travel landscape is changing,” said Chad Clark, principal of Chad Clark Travel Ventures in Phoenix, an expert I have known for years. “Information overload, thousands of new hotels on the scene, all sorts of new cruise ships, passport and visa issues, weather, transit strikes, political unrest, natural disasters, travel insurance, travel providers going out of business, it’s never ending. How does one navigate all of this? To avoid the travel landmines that lay in front of you, you need to get a great travel advisor! You’ll be glad you did. After all, do you cut your own hair?” Good question, but his metaphor is a little off because you pay someone to cut your hair, while a good travel advisor can often save you money.

I wrote a feature about this topic here at Forbes eight years ago, and I still get thank you comments from people who took my advice. A lot has changed in those eight years, and a lot has not, so if anything, there are more reasons than ever to use a travel agent (for the record, good travel agents prefer to be called travel advisors, or sometimes travel consultants, and those are both totally accurate, but since most people still think of the industry in terms of travel agents, I’m mixing and matching).

Clark explained it to me this way, “Travel agents are a thing of the past - they primarily booked tickets and beds. Travel advisors have taken on a much more complex role - part psychologist, life coach, executive producer, concierge, fixer, dream maker, and ‘Blink Blink’ genie, with the multitude of services that they provide.”

Whatever you call them, I could go on and on about all the reason to use one, but here are the 5 biggies.

Emergencies: This is the one most applicable to the average occasional travel. Stuff happens, and whether you believe in climate change or not (spoiler alert, it’s real), big weather events have become more commonplace, widespread and unpredictable, and sooner or later Mother Nature is going to bite you when flying. But there are plenty of non-weather events disrupting flights, cruises, trains and destinations, from civil unrest to volcanic eruptions to disease outbreaks to massive wildfires to labor strikes. And just about every year you read about an airline that went bust and shut down suddenly, stranding all its passengers. Just a week ago I traveled with owner of a large New York based travel agency who has been in the business for 40 years, and he told me they recently stopped selling their customers tickets on Norwegian because the airline has had too many cancellations and became, in their view, unreliable. But cheap flights still show up in internet searches, and you probably would not know anything about it without expert advice.

Anything that causes cancelled flights (or cruises, etc.) means hassles, but the people who get through this process the most smoothly and the ones who get rebooked first and get the few available seats out of Dodge are usually the ones who used a travel agent. It’s that simple. First off, you actually have someone to call, versus long lines at banks of airport phones masquerading as “help desks.” But good agencies are constantly monitoring their clients’ flights and they usually know about your problem before you do - and often have a resolution before you even call them. They also have direct access to airline GDS (global distribution system) and don’t have to wait on long phones holds to get ticketing changes made. It’s worth noting that according to the U.S. Department of Transportation, nearly two percent of all domestic flights were canceled in 2019, a significant increase from the previous year and the highest rate since 2014. Midway through the year, MSNBC reported that passengers were being bumped from flights - involuntarily - at a rate three times higher than a year earlier.

I’ve known Anne Scully for years, and as the President of high-powered Virginia-based agency McCabe World Travel, she is perennially ranked one of the world’s best travel agents, sits on advisory boards of major luxury hotel brands and cruise lines, and is an industry legend. She told me that, “Anyone who travels should have the clout of a top travel advisor in their pocket. To start, if the client’s flight is cancelled while they are waiting for take-off they could have us rebook and protect their journey before they depart the plane. No waiting behind 300 other passengers! We can have clients met at the plane door at a large number of airports worldwide and whisked through customs, either on to their tight connecting flight or simply faster to baggage claim - where they are given help with their luggage. Most clients don’t even know that service exists, but they only need to use it once to always request it on their itineraries.”

Expertise: No one knows everything about travel, no matter how deeply they are involved in the industry. I am an expert on ski travel, and I know the ins and outs of every major luxury ski hotel in this country. So, I wouldn’t call a travel agent to help me choose a ski hotel. But I know nothing about the hotel scene in Manilla or Sri Lanka. Some travelers cheat their way around this by sticking to brands like Four Seasons or Ritz-Carlton wherever the go, but in many tourism hotbeds like Fez, Morocco, all the best hotels are ones you have likely never heard of. This is where a travel advisor’s knowledge cannot be beat. And while even the best travel agent can’t know everything either, the good agencies parcel things up, so they have a safari expert, a cruise expert, a honeymoon expert, and so on, and they all work together.

Walter Brownell first escorted 10 guests to Europe in 1887, and 133 years later, Brownell Travel has 150 advisors. Sorry, but there’s no amount of research you can do or number of travel magazines you can read that can match that kind of institutional experience and collective expertise. That’s the knowledge base you want. Let’s go back to the 4.5 million villa hits - any good travel advisor will be able to tell you off the top of their head who you should be renting your villa in Tuscany from - and why. That just saved you eighteen months, and probably got you a better house.

Chad Clark believes travelers should, “Experience the extraordinary, not once in a lifetime, but every time!” and to showcase the knowledge base advisors bring to the table, he created a program he calls “Chad Clark Certified,” personally giving his stamp of approval to special hotels, restaurants, tours and experiences around the world. To date he’s certified nearly 700 different things his clients (or you) can reliably consider doing.

It is important to remember that these advantages are not just for luxury travelers. Good travel advisors do not just know what the best hotel is, they know what the best hotel is for you and your budget and can help you find the right fit. As we will see shortly, they can also save you a lot of money, no matter what style you travel in.

VIP Connections: Whether you are trying to book space at a coveted 8-villa safari lodge in Africa or get a room in a top Paris hotel during Fashion Week, most hoteliers keep emergency inventory and guess who gets it? The travel advisors they have known for years who book a lot of guests and send them a lot of business. It works this way with lots of things in the travel industry, from hard to get dinner reservations to the resort’s best ski instructor to a city’s top art expert as a private museum guide. Anytime there is scarcity, there is no substitute for personal connections, and the best agents have built these over years or decades. Plus we are living in the age of “experiential travel,” and good advisors create one of kind experiences most people would never have imagined in the first place.

“I had a client touring Russia who not only played piano well, but also took lessons from one of the best teachers in New York,” said Anne McCabe. “As a surprise, I arranged for him to visit the apartment of the great Russian composer Nicolai Rimsky Korsakov, and the curator invited him to play the composer’s piano, while his teacher listened over the phone his wife was holding. You cannot create those WOW moments if you do not get to know who your clients are, and what would make their holiday most special.” You also need to know the curator. Try booking that on TripAdvisor.

“This is a key point,” stressed Clark. “Travel advisors provide our clients with access: access to people, places, and experiences that could never be replicated, much less imagined. A great travel advisor has invested time and relationships in creating their ‘black book’ of contacts and relationships, so that when their clients travel, they are treated as a VIPs, not just a credit card number.” In my experience, everyone likes being treated like a VIP.

Seemingly simple things often annoy even the most seasoned travelers, but these irritants can be smoothed out by good advisors. One biggie is having your room ready to check in when arriving in Europe early in the morning after an exhausting overnight flight. I’ve seen lots of travelers, including myself, told to go walk around for hours and come back at two or three in the afternoon, even at the finest hotels. Do you think they tell that to Anne Scully and her peers?

Another one of the most frustrating recurring problems I hear in the industry - even at the top luxury hotels - is a notorious refusal to guarantee connecting rooms in advance for families booking multiple rooms (and paying a lot for them). But when your travel agent books hundreds of room nights with a hotel each year, the GM (or sales manager) will move heaven and earth to give that agent’s client - you - guaranteed connecting rooms. For the same price. Often with a room upgrade. And late check out. And a free food and beverage credit.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Extras: When you get more than you expected for the same price, that’s a great deal, and with travel advisors this happens all the time. The cruise industry is a perfect example of very large inventories that fluctuate in supply and demand each week, with a large audience of repeat customers who cruise again and again for years. The cruise lines do not want to lose the loyalty of those customers - or the agents who steer hundreds of them each year to particular brands. Yet it basically costs the line no more to have you stay in a deluxe suite than a basic room if that suite is available, and with the size of today’s ships, it often is. But who gets these upgrades? Advisors. Professionals who specialize in cruises have enormous volume clout and are legendary for routinely getting clients one or two class stateroom upgrades, free shore excursions, onboard credits and all sorts of things - for the same exact price you pay going direct. I would never book a cruise without using a travel advisor - it’s just foolish.

But it’s not just cruises.  

“In an age of automation, it may come as a surprise that many of our new clients skew on the more tech-savvy side, and come to SmartFlyer for the first time seeking guidance on their honeymoon,” Michael Holtz, founder of extremely successful global travel agency SmartFlyer told me. “The millennial generation specifically may have seen their parents use a travel advisor, but don’t feel like they need one - until they are deep in the spiral of research. By shifting gears to planning with an expert, they feel liberated from the immense pressure of choosing the ‘best’ resort - because we’re cutting through the noise of all the conflicting opinions they’re seeing online. Our team has actually been to the properties first-hand - not to mention has personal relationships with the General Managers. For example, we just had a couple fly to Canouan, a remote island in the Caribbean that they had no idea even existed before we recommended it. When they arrived at the Mandarin Oriental, the GM double upgraded them thanks to SmartFlyer’s close relationship with the property. At the end of the day, it’s all about personal relationships translating into exceptional experiences for our clients.”

One of the biggest shortcuts to freebies and extras is Virtuoso, a network of top tier travel agencies, most in the luxury realm. While agencies belonging to Virtuoso are independent and free to recommend and book anything they want - and often do because they have strong opinions - the network has specific relationships with over 1,800 travel partners (cruise, tours, airlines and 1,400 individual hotels in 100+ countries) with which it negotiates exclusive (and contractually obligated) benefits. Why are travel suppliers so eager to work with agencies and advisors that belong to Virtuoso (advisors can join by invitation-only based on their track records)?  Because last year Virtuoso members booked $26.4 billion in travel for their clients.

So in addition to the extras for personal connections you can get via people like Michael Holtz knowing the GM, anyone who books through a Virtuoso agency gets automatic perks like complimentary daily breakfast, room upgrades, early check-in, late check-out, complimentary airport transfers, spa credits and so on (specifics vary by hotel). According to Virtuoso, just the hotel benefits are valued at an average of over $500 per stay. Complimentary cruise benefits can be even bigger.

But having covered the luxury travel space for years, it seems that virtually every top advisor and agency I come across, the ones my friends, family and colleagues recommend, belongs to Virtuoso, as do all of the agencies mentioned in this piece besides the one in Travel Leaders. I just visited an amazing new luxury hotel in Italy, and they were quick to boast about having been admitted as preferred Virtuoso property - to them it was a mark of quality like earning a Michelin-star.

“The thing I love about Virtuoso is not just the quality of the advisors, but the strength of the entire network and the supplier partners they use around the world,” said travel writer, award-winning broadcaster and author Michael Patrick Shiels. “I decided to do this segment on running with the bulls in Pamplona and I had never been to Spain, so a Virtuoso advisor connected me with Made For Spain and Portugal, a partner ground supplier that does all the behind the scenes magic. They know everyone and totally set up an amazing itinerary and I ran with the bulls. In Italy, Virtuoso has an amazing local company called IC (Italian Connection) Bellagio that is totally wired into all the kinds of local things travelers say they want these days, special experiences, the best restaurants, art tours of private villas. When you ask your Virtuosos agent to plan a trip to Tuscany, it’s not just them, they have all this expert support behind them, down to the micro level. I’ve been all around the world, and before the first time I worked with Virtuoso I didn’t think I needed a travel agent’s help - now I can’t imagine not using one for anything complicated or specialized.”

Air: If you are trying to buy the cheapest round-trip economy ticket from New York to Dallas, even the best advisors probably can’t get it for less than you can buy it online, though you still have to deal with all the pitfalls of the online travel sites and you will lose the safety net advisors provide when things go wrong. But in a couple of other cases, buying your air through an agent can actually save you money, or miles, or both.

One case is when you are buying premium class tickets, Business, First or some of the even higher new classes. I have an extremely tech savvy friend in San Francisco who wanted to fly First class to Hawaii for his honeymoon, and even though he could afford it, he was shocked how much the airlines wanted. I suggested he call McCabe World Travel, and he was mystified how they could purchase the exact same tickets for about two thousand dollars less -each - than the best price he could find online, by calling the airline, or through the American Express Platinum Card travel desk. I don’t care how rich you are, if you can get the same tickets and pocket four thousand dollars that’s a good deal - plus you get all the peace of mind that comes with the advisor’s safety net. Not surprisingly, years later he still uses McCabe for all his travel. Consider this: the agency has three advisors in its air travel department who do nothing else, among its roughly 50 affiliated advisors.

When it comes to using miles, or miles and money, or just paying to fly in pricier premium classes, you might have trouble believing the miracles these specialists can work. As Largay’s Klimak told me, “I was working with a couple last year traveling to Australia and New Zealand for their dream cruise. They wanted to use frequent flyer miles, and I knew that they also had Dubai on their Wanderlist. I was able to change their flights from Business class on Qantas to First Class on Emirates - for half the mileage. We were also able to add a stopover with a wonderful desert and shopping experience in Dubai, checking two destinations off their list for a fraction of the cost.”

I use SmartFlyer for tricky tickets. Despite its name, it is a well-known, full-service luxury travel agency that does everything from safaris to cruises, but where they are better than just about everyone else is creative ticketing. I hear endless complaints from frequent fliers about the difficulty using miles, but I have found that is not the case - if you use a mileage and ticketing expert. I did a story on skiing in Japan, and SmartFlyer was able to get me to Tokyo in Business Class and back in First for $1,500 and 100,000 United miles. This was less than a third of the miles United directly quoted me for the same trip when I called the MileagePlus Elite desk, and I ended up getting more than three times the dollars per mile that most experts value frequent flier miles at.

On another trip recent trip to Bali, SmartFlyer found me flights on Cathay Pacific - one of the world’s best airlines - in Premium Economy to Hong Kong and then the five hour leg to Bali in Business class, for less than Cathy was selling the trip on its site just in Premium Economy the whole way. It just doesn’t seem possible, but it is, real tickets, same airline, better seats, less money. I don’t know how they do it, and frankly I don’t care, but if you know who to call this happens all the time (if you are not a client of SmartFlyer booking your vacation or business trip, they will charge you a fee to do the legwork and find you great deals on premium and mileage tickets, but in almost every case I’ve seen, it still saves you money).

“In terms of value, what we can do is unparalleled to anything clients will find elsewhere,” SmartFlyer’s Holtz told me. “Our negotiated air contracts, along with our in-depth knowledge of the carriers and actual aircraft, means we can advise travelers how to reach their destination at the best possible price and in the most comfortable configuration. Sometimes, this means hundreds of dollars in savings per ticket.” Or more.

Better Trips! At the end of the day this is the bottom line, the big win you get with a good travel advisor. They know more than you do, they are better connected, they have access to benefits you can’t get yourself, and they can match and often beat any prices you find. They plan a better trip and then provide a safety net. Having a top travel agent can make you an instant VIP, certainly will save you time and hassle, and quite possibly money.

Amanda Foshee is an advisor at Brownell Travel, and she summed it up nicely: “What everyone needs these days is more time and less stress, and that’s what we’re here for. Travel advisors take the overwhelming amount of information out there and distill it into the key points that apply to you - the best hotel/destination/tour for your interests, your budget, and your time frame. A client shared that going through all the information online to plan a trip would be a second full-time job for her, and I told her that’s why it’s my full-time job instead!”

[gordonwilliamsweb]

In a Year of Zoom Memorials, Art Exhibit Makes Space for Grief

Tami Roncskevitz has attended two Zoom memorials for her daughter, Sarah, a 32-year-old emergency room social worker who died of covid on May 30. But she longs to gather Sarah’s friends and family together in one place so they can embrace and mourn together.

This story also ran on Los Angeles Times. It can be republished for free.

“It just isn’t the same,” said Roncskevitz. “You feel like your grieving is not complete.”

With more than 520,000 in the nation lost to the coronavirus, the United States has millions of people like Roncskevitz whose grief is compounded because families — which, in her case, includes Sarah’s fiancé and two young children — have been unable to publicly celebrate the lost lives with in-person memorials.

Honolulu artist Taiji Terasaki is stepping into that breach with a project to commemorate fallen health care workers.

Terasaki first projects an image of the deceased onto a screen of mist droplets. He then photographs several dynamic, ephemeral portraits of the mist projections, and then prints these photos onto a long scroll. The effect is a mashup of traditional kakejiku, or Japanese hanging scrolls, and a gigantic filmstrip.

Each scroll is then placed in an inscribed wooden box and can be unfurled for display.

The effect is bittersweet, said 59-year-old Roncskevitz, who lives in Benicia, California, and saw the images online.

“I can see her smiling face, but I can also see it evaporating in that picture,” she said. “For me, I feel like it’s representative of Sarah’s body dissipating, and her spirit moving forward.”

So far, Terasaki has created 15 mist portraits for health care workers, who include radiologists, janitors and nurses. The scrolls can be unfurled up to 20 feet and are currently installed in the Japanese American National Museum in downtown Los Angeles, which is closed due to covid restrictions. But the exhibit, called “Transcendients: Memorial to Healthcare Workers,” will make its world debut virtually on March 13, along with other artwork Terasaki has made to commemorate pandemic heroes. “Transcendient” is Terasaki’s neologism from “transcendent” and “transient”; it’s a concept he has used in past exhibits on immigration, the U.S. migrant border crisis and the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II.

At the beginning of the pandemic, Terasaki passed his lockdown time cutting photographs and weaving them back together to create pixelated, screen-like images of people who had helped others during the pandemic. He posted these works on Instagram every day for 100 days.

As deaths mounted, he decided to create memorials and came across “Lost on the Frontline,” a collaborative reporting project between KHN and The Guardian. The series features short profiles of health care workers who have died of covid, as well as investigative stories about the lack of personal protective equipment many workers endured as they showed up for work during the pandemic.

“Who’s sacrificing the most? It’s these health care workers who are out there risking their lives,” said Terasaki.

Terasaki reached out to KHN to see if he could add to the collaboration with the memorial scrolls, and then set out to contact the families featured in Lost on the Frontline.

Expanding the project to incorporate art is going to widen the project’s reach, said Christina Jewett, KHN’s lead investigative reporter for Lost on the Frontline. To date, the team has identified more than 3,500 health care worker deaths caused by covid and is the most comprehensive database to date, as states have different requirements about recording and reporting these deaths.

Helena Cawley contributed a portrait of her father to Terasaki’s project to keep his memory alive. She recalled receiving the news that her father had unexpectedly died of covid. Cawley let out a primal scream and dropped to the floor, sobbing.

This was March 30, back when covid tests were scarce, hospitals were scrambling to obtain ventilators and masks, and the U.S. had just passed 3,000 deaths from the disease.

Cawley’s father, 74-year-old hospital radiologist David Wolin, was the first person Cawley knew who tested positive for the virus. A month later, Wolin’s wife, Susan, Cawley’s stepmother, also succumbed to the disease.

Related Links

‘It Doesn’t Feel Worth It’: Covid Is Pushing New York’s EMTs to the Brink

When Covid Deaths Aren’t Counted, Families Pay the Price

Health Workers and Hospitals Grapple With Millions of Counterfeit N95 Masks

More ‘Lost on the Frontline’

Because New York City was under stay-at-home orders, no visitors came to comfort Cawley’s grieving family; no one could relieve them from the pressures of child care or chores as a friend might have done before the pandemic. Cawley recalled that about one hour after learning her father had died, she was back in the kitchen, blinking back tears as she prepared lunch for her two young children.

Cawley leaned on her husband for support as she went through the logistics of grief throughout 2020, which included clearing out her father and stepmother’s apartment and lake house. She now wears a ring her father received as a gift, and sometimes visits his grave or sits on a park bench that the Brooklyn Hospital Center named in his memory. And she’s grateful for opportunities to keep his name and image circulating, especially since her family has yet to organize an in-person memorial.

“It’s so great to have people remember him and think of him and want to honor him,” said 41-year-old Cawley. “I love having his name out there and letting people know who he was.”

Terasaki, 62, has explored death, grieving and rituals in past work. The 2017 performance art exhibit “Feeding the Immortals” invited the public to bring food that reminded them of a deceased loved one, and to speak about the person and place the food on an altar.

The work was a reaction to the 2016 death of his father, Paul Terasaki, a pioneering organ-transplant scientist who had been detained as a child with his family in an internment camp in Arizona during World War II.

After his father died, Terasaki struggled to connect with the Christian funeral services organized to remember him and decided to create his own ritual. Even before the pandemic, Terasaki felt that American culture weakly commemorated its dead. Now that the pandemic has put a chill on community death rituals, the lack is even more glaring.

Terasaki is sending a 7-foot scroll to each family participating in the art project, in the hope they might unfurl and display it once a year on the death anniversary. Terasaki also hopes to create small community memorials throughout the U.S.

“What’s really missing in our culture is the ritual and ceremony — to really get quiet and reflect and just experience the silence,” he said. “We need to find a space of reverence for the lost.”

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.

USE OUR CONTENT

This story can be republished for free (details).

In a Year of Zoom Memorials, Art Exhibit Makes Space for Grief published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[stephenmccull]

In a Year of Zoom Memorials, Art Exhibit Makes Space for Grief

Tami Roncskevitz has attended two Zoom memorials for her daughter, Sarah, a 32-year-old emergency room social worker who died of covid on May 30. But she longs to gather Sarah’s friends and family together in one place so they can embrace and mourn together.

This story also ran on Los Angeles Times. It can be republished for free.

“It just isn’t the same,” said Roncskevitz. “You feel like your grieving is not complete.”

With more than 520,000 in the nation lost to the coronavirus, the United States has millions of people like Roncskevitz whose grief is compounded because families — which, in her case, includes Sarah’s fiancé and two young children — have been unable to publicly celebrate the lost lives with in-person memorials.

Honolulu artist Taiji Terasaki is stepping into that breach with a project to commemorate fallen health care workers.

Terasaki first projects an image of the deceased onto a screen of mist droplets. He then photographs several dynamic, ephemeral portraits of the mist projections, and then prints these photos onto a long scroll. The effect is a mashup of traditional kakejiku, or Japanese hanging scrolls, and a gigantic filmstrip.

Each scroll is then placed in an inscribed wooden box and can be unfurled for display.

The effect is bittersweet, said 59-year-old Roncskevitz, who lives in Benicia, California, and saw the images online.

“I can see her smiling face, but I can also see it evaporating in that picture,” she said. “For me, I feel like it’s representative of Sarah’s body dissipating, and her spirit moving forward.”

So far, Terasaki has created 15 mist portraits for health care workers, who include radiologists, janitors and nurses. The scrolls can be unfurled up to 20 feet and are currently installed in the Japanese American National Museum in downtown Los Angeles, which is closed due to covid restrictions. But the exhibit, called “Transcendients: Memorial to Healthcare Workers,” will make its world debut virtually on March 13, along with other artwork Terasaki has made to commemorate pandemic heroes. “Transcendient” is Terasaki’s neologism from “transcendent” and “transient”; it’s a concept he has used in past exhibits on immigration, the U.S. migrant border crisis and the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II.

At the beginning of the pandemic, Terasaki passed his lockdown time cutting photographs and weaving them back together to create pixelated, screen-like images of people who had helped others during the pandemic. He posted these works on Instagram every day for 100 days.

As deaths mounted, he decided to create memorials and came across “Lost on the Frontline,” a collaborative reporting project between KHN and The Guardian. The series features short profiles of health care workers who have died of covid, as well as investigative stories about the lack of personal protective equipment many workers endured as they showed up for work during the pandemic.

“Who’s sacrificing the most? It’s these health care workers who are out there risking their lives,” said Terasaki.

Terasaki reached out to KHN to see if he could add to the collaboration with the memorial scrolls, and then set out to contact the families featured in Lost on the Frontline.

Expanding the project to incorporate art is going to widen the project’s reach, said Christina Jewett, KHN’s lead investigative reporter for Lost on the Frontline. To date, the team has identified more than 3,500 health care worker deaths caused by covid and is the most comprehensive database to date, as states have different requirements about recording and reporting these deaths.

Helena Cawley contributed a portrait of her father to Terasaki’s project to keep his memory alive. She recalled receiving the news that her father had unexpectedly died of covid. Cawley let out a primal scream and dropped to the floor, sobbing.

This was March 30, back when covid tests were scarce, hospitals were scrambling to obtain ventilators and masks, and the U.S. had just passed 3,000 deaths from the disease.

Cawley’s father, 74-year-old hospital radiologist David Wolin, was the first person Cawley knew who tested positive for the virus. A month later, Wolin’s wife, Susan, Cawley’s stepmother, also succumbed to the disease.

Related Links

‘It Doesn’t Feel Worth It’: Covid Is Pushing New York’s EMTs to the Brink

When Covid Deaths Aren’t Counted, Families Pay the Price

Health Workers and Hospitals Grapple With Millions of Counterfeit N95 Masks

More ‘Lost on the Frontline’

Because New York City was under stay-at-home orders, no visitors came to comfort Cawley’s grieving family; no one could relieve them from the pressures of child care or chores as a friend might have done before the pandemic. Cawley recalled that about one hour after learning her father had died, she was back in the kitchen, blinking back tears as she prepared lunch for her two young children.

Cawley leaned on her husband for support as she went through the logistics of grief throughout 2020, which included clearing out her father and stepmother’s apartment and lake house. She now wears a ring her father received as a gift, and sometimes visits his grave or sits on a park bench that the Brooklyn Hospital Center named in his memory. And she’s grateful for opportunities to keep his name and image circulating, especially since her family has yet to organize an in-person memorial.

“It’s so great to have people remember him and think of him and want to honor him,” said 41-year-old Cawley. “I love having his name out there and letting people know who he was.”

Terasaki, 62, has explored death, grieving and rituals in past work. The 2017 performance art exhibit “Feeding the Immortals” invited the public to bring food that reminded them of a deceased loved one, and to speak about the person and place the food on an altar.

The work was a reaction to the 2016 death of his father, Paul Terasaki, a pioneering organ-transplant scientist who had been detained as a child with his family in an internment camp in Arizona during World War II.

After his father died, Terasaki struggled to connect with the Christian funeral services organized to remember him and decided to create his own ritual. Even before the pandemic, Terasaki felt that American culture weakly commemorated its dead. Now that the pandemic has put a chill on community death rituals, the lack is even more glaring.

Terasaki is sending a 7-foot scroll to each family participating in the art project, in the hope they might unfurl and display it once a year on the death anniversary. Terasaki also hopes to create small community memorials throughout the U.S.

“What’s really missing in our culture is the ritual and ceremony — to really get quiet and reflect and just experience the silence,” he said. “We need to find a space of reverence for the lost.”

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.

USE OUR CONTENT

This story can be republished for free (details).

In a Year of Zoom Memorials, Art Exhibit Makes Space for Grief published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/

[nadracardcentre1]

NCC Is Back With More Fascinating And Productive Services

The pandemic had put everything to a halt. Like businesses, education, and other activities were affected, travel and tourism were also prohibited by the governments of all countries in order to slow down the spread of disease.

Now, the first wave of this deadly Covid-19 has come to meet the end we are observing flight operations coming back to routine slowly and gradually across the world. The threat of a pandemic is not yet over so, we have to be very careful and take all the precautions as per directed by WHO.

So, we were talking about the flight operations which have been started resuming their schedule (not completely, keep in mind that some countries have still not permitted to his citizens or foreigners to cross the borders). Nadra UK is also reopening its services for the public to assist people with whatever kind of help they need. So now, you can apply for a passport, NICOP, or other essentials according to your requirements.

 With A LittleCare, We Can Make Great Differences

Nadra Card Centre since the day of establishment is aimed to help people peacefully and satisfactorily. We know 2020 was not a good start for the whole world but itis proved, if we become united we can effectively deal with unforeseen circumstances.

Many of you had not seen your families for a year and now want to visit them. Hence, NCC is back with all its amazing, fast-paced services to help you acquire your passport, visa, and other necessary documents as soon as we can. Renewal of Pakistani Passport or expired NICOP, and other services all have been opened for the public to apply for.

Public dealing is still a risk therefore we are avoiding to let a crowd of people inside the offices at a time. But you can contact us online until and unless it is not crucially important to visit the office.

 Urgent Passport Renewal in the UK

If you have made an instant plan to visit Pakistan to see your family but your passport has been expired a few months back and you couldn’t renew it due to lockdown, you are welcome at NCC. It’s a 24hrs active service where you can ask us to Renew a Pakistani Passport on an urgent basis. Even if you want, we will send your passport to your way after renewing it.

 How To Find My Lost NICOP?

We know how troubling it is if you lost an important document of yours. Therefore, NCC is always on its toes to figure it out and provide you relief in all ways.

So if you have lost your NICOP, you can track its location easily with our NICOP tracking service. Our trackers will help to find your NICOP with a blink of an eye.

Nadra Card Centre is an expert in resolving issues of paperwork within the least possible time. We value your precious time and without wasting it we get back to you with the best of solutions we should adopt. We always give sincere advice to the customers so they can also get comfortable with us and we would have a strong relationship with them

[rafaelthompson]

Welcome to the June + July 2020 Issue of Barista Magazine!

The June + July 2020 issue of Barista Magazine is out, featuring China’s Jeremy Zhang on the cover. Also included: ‘Coffee in the Time of COVID-19,’ ‘Cashbox: Crisis Management for Coffee Businesses,’ ‘The Manager’s Handbook: Leadership During Adversity,’ ‘Open Source Sensory,’ a ‘Master Q+A’ with Food 4 Farmers’ Marcela Pino, and much more!

BY KENNETH R. OLSON BARISTA MAGAZINE

Heading into this issue, we were expecting it to be challenging. We had been, after all, planning to complete the issue while traversing the globe to attend the World Barista Championship in Melbourne, Australia, originally scheduled for early May. It’s always somewhat tricky to finish an issue while not even on the same continent as our office or printer, but Barista Magazine’s Editor-in-Chief Sarah Allen is a pro, and she always hits her deadlines no matter where her work has taken her.

But once again, just like with our last issue, things didn’t work out as planned. We are operating in the same situation as most of our readers—as a small business—trying to take on and solve the problems presented by the COVID-19 pandemic as best we can while information and best practices can change sometimes in the blink of an eye.

As Sarah writes in her editor’s letter, when originally trying to put this issue together while numerous countries around the world went into various stages of lockdown, shutting down retail businesses, restaurants, and cafés, we wondered if we would be left with nothing and no one to write about.

But here’s the thing: Even in the midst of this terrible pandemic, whose death toll here in the U.S. has already climbed past 100,000 lives lost, and with unemployment reaching levels not seen since the Great Depression, people are still at work, and people are still making and drinking coffee. And more people will be working tomorrow and the day after, and cafés will be there to serve them.

Knowing this, we sought then not to dwell on the lockdown and devastation leveled by the disease on people and economies, but how to respond. We are big believers in the adage, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get back up.” So we looked where the disease started, and where the lockdowns were lifted soonest, to see what we could learn about how we can all recover from this pandemic and come out stronger on the other side.

Cover Feature: Jeremy Zhang

Jeremy Zhang, two-time barista champion of China, never stopped working throughout the worst of the pandemic, even though his retail shops in Nanjing were closed. Instead of sitting back, he jumped to action. “From my perspective, we wouldn’t be as good at sending coffee to hospitals straight away, but why not help coffee shops? That’s where our expertise is,” he says. With lockdowns being lifted after a first quarter without sales, the biggest problem coffee shops were facing was cash flow for their reopening. “They don’t have much money to buy coffee, milk, or pay salaries, let alone rent,” he says, so he began offering free coffee to cafés in China, so they could start operating again.

Jeremy’s efforts during and following the lockdown in Nanjing were a roadmap to recovery, but also a reminder that the specialty-coffee community is just that, a community, and that we can help each other through the worst of times. Read more about Jeremy in the June + July 2020 issue of Barista Magazine.

‘Coffee in the Time of COVID-19’

The pandemic is proof of the interconnectedness of the entire world, not just the coffee community. But as each country is facing a different level of threat and response from the novel coronavirus, coffee companies across the globe are as well. Editor-in-Chief Sarah Allen used the isolation-ubiquitous Zoom app to conduct dozens of interviews with coffee pros from different locales to discuss how the pandemic is affecting them and how they are planning to respond in “Coffee in the Time of COVID-19.”

‘Cashbox’

Coffee business consultant Tracy Allen of Brewed Behavior is back in the June + July 2020 issue with another installment of our series “Cashbox.” In this edition, Tracy writes about what steps coffee businesses ought to be taking to continue operations in the year of COVID-19.

‘The Manager’s Handbook’

Also in the June + July 2020 issue, contributor Maggie Davis presents the second part of the series “The Manager’s Handbook.” Continuing in our COVID-19 coverage, the subject in this issue is “Leadership During Adversity.” Everyone is facing difficult and uncertain times, from owners, to managers, to employees, and in such an environment, calm, cool leadership, based on facts, science, and best practices, can help everyone.

‘Open Source Sensory’

Luckily, even in the face of a pandemic, coffee gives us avenues to explore. If public cuppings are on hold, virtual events are taking off because the complex, intriguing, delicious aspects of coffee are still there, waiting to be indulged with each fresh brew. But what if the aspects of quality you’re looking for in the cup don’t match your customers’ preferences? What if what we think of as quality isn’t even the same as what the public thinks? CoffeeMind founder Morten Münchow and scientist Jesper Alstrup write about creating a new way to quantify and discuss what exactly we mean when we talk about “quality” in “Open Source Sensory: Building a Broader Consensus Around Coffee Quality.”

‘Master Q&A’: Marcela Pino

Our Master Q&A in the June + July 2020 issue features Marcela Pino, who is a cofounder of the nonprofit Food 4 Farmers, which seeks to alleviate hunger at coffee origin by providing resources and education to help farming families diversify their incomes. Writer Chris Ryan interviews Marcela about her background, her first experiences with coffee, and how she came to start Food 4 Farmers.

These are just some of the stories you’ll find in the June + July 2020 issue of Barista Magazine. And as always, you have your choice to read it in paper or digital format. You can order a hard copy through our online store here or start a subscription. Of course you can also read it for free online on our website or take it with you with our free app.

One more note: I have to say that I am beyond impressed with this issue of Barista Magazine, and I am humbled to have been a part of the team that produced it. Throughout the uncertainty of the ongoing crisis, our team continued to do some of their best work in creating content that not only informed our readers but hopefully inspired them too. From Sarah Allen’s tremendous writing and leadership, to our online team who also contributed to this issue, Katrina Yentch and Mark Van Streefkerk, to our copy editor and contributor Chris Ryan, and our far-flung correspondents like Tigger Chaturabul in Hong Kong, who came through with a great story on Jeremy in difficult circumstances, and all of the others without whom we could not have made this magazine: You are all amazing. Thank you for your perseverance.

And thank you to our readers, and our community—you are the reason we do this, and why we will continue to create this resource for you.

The post Welcome to the June + July 2020 Issue of Barista Magazine! appeared first on Barista Magazine Online.

Welcome to the June + July 2020 Issue of Barista Magazine! published first on https://espressoexpertsite.tumblr.com/

[underborder-blog]

UNDERBORDER Chapter.1

I remember it all like it was just yesterday. So clear, so...normal. It was an easy morning, the snow was light that day. All around me, the Border began to lighten up, signifying to us, monsters, that it the day had just begun. Around me, the town was quiet and was just beginning to stir awake. The library was empty when I unlocked it, but not opening it just yet to the public. There were books that still needed to be correctly organized before I had the townspeople come in. Back then, I was a young adult, just looking for a job, but with time, I grew into the job I had, slowly learning to love it. I guess I just decided that the quiet life was best for me. Especially with my brother, Papyrus, working with the Royal Guard, and in his position, the income wouldn't be a problem. Now, with my credentials, I was qualified to work along side with Dr. Alphys, but that would've been a very demanding career. The only reason I ever geared myself into something as rigorous as that was to help support Papyrus through his journey towards his dream. It wasn't the kind of job for me. But even though I set myself as the local librarian, Dr. Alphys tended to come ask for me to help assist her for many different things. They were normally minor tasks, like reading over her work, or giving a second opinion, but it would be what she showed to me a couple nights before that signaled the first warning of something drastic. "Sans!" She would yell before barging into the library. It was closing time, and I had just sent the last couple of monsters out. I felt myself turn towards her, surprise beginning to bite at my chest. Her glasses were titled, probably from her frantic rush to get here, and her science coat appeared worn, which was out of character for a monster like herself. She was normally much more organized than how she appeared then. She also had an armful of large notes and diagrams, with smaller papers fluttering off to the wooden floors. "Dr. Alphys!" I blinked and chuckled lightly from her arrival, rearranging my thin glasses as I did so. "I didn't expect to see you anytime soon. Did you send me a-" "Now isn't the time for nice, little greetings and small talk, Sans!" She snapped as she ran up to the front desk, dropping all of her papers and notes. I flinched at her tone. "What's the big deal then, Doc?" I felt a light grin poke itself along my face, trying to lighten the mood. I watched as she began to mumble to herself, swiftly moving papers from place to place, as if trying to organize them to her own style of thinking. Her face grew pale, almost as if she forgot something and before I knew it, she had her hands pressed against her face. "Oh no, not again. Come on, Alphys. Think!" She scolded herself, now lightly knocking herself in the head. "I-if the virus came into my computer just two days ago, a-and I compared the code of it to the evidence at the- AHH!" She flung her papers across the table, causing them to fly and slowly glide to the floor. I, again, flinched at her aggression. It wasn't like her to be so frustrated and hard on herself. Normally, she's very patient with her work. "Doc-" Her stare jerked towards mine, now filled with frustration and anger. "Let me think!" I only nodded, now starting to crouch down and pick up her scattered notes and papers. On them, I saw plenty of numbers, which I quickly recognized as computer codes, but they were foreign to my sight. Shuffling them together in a somewhat neat stack, I placed them on the table, only to see them fall back apart. Alphys had worked to scramble them around yet again, now only quicker than before. "O-okay, Alphys. Think." Sweat began to drip down her face, now making her yellowish-scales glisten under the lights. "If the virus c-could spread through t-the walls of the Bor-" She stopped, now her face curving into a smile of relief. With that, she took in a deep breath and turned to me, her eyes now filled with her usual, stern expression. "Sans. There's something wrong with the Border." It didn't take long until all of the townspeople were aware of it, but with all of the small talk going around, everyone couldnt be sure of whether it was real or not. At least, everyone but Papyrus and myself. Now, of course, Dr. Alphys brought her discovery, or really, it was just a theory, to the King. King Asgore. Now, the King was a very fair king. He ruled accordingly, and played the role he had to play, which was a very stressful and dramatic role. To keep all of the other AUs from falling out of line. Or in other words, stable. See, our "universe" is quite similar to other universes, being that we all are all alternates of Undertale, the original universe. But, what makes us different is that, all of us monsters live and work together to keep our world in tact, as well as keeping the other worlds stable. We, as a population, are all aware that there are multiple universes out there, with different versions of ourselves, but only the Royal Guard and the King and Queen know the exact universes. All together, we make up our world. The Border. Now, why we're called the Border is quite simple. The general population was aware of the existence of Ink, Error, Nightmare, Dream Sans, and all other entities that live outside of the universes. They were like gods to us. But the Border works to keep the natures of their worlds apart, after all, if, for example, the world of Error meshed into Ink's, it would send everyone into utter chaos and destruction, including the AUs. We could not allow that to happen under any circumstance. But there is one acception to that rule and that it the original Undertale Universe. That particular universe is where all AUs, including the Border, have originated from, making that world, truly stable. The King likes to watch that universe as an example for what a stable universe should look like. But, back to the point, Dr. Alphys had showed her work to King Asgore, and the two had many, long discussions behind the threat. Over the course of two days, it became evident that he was becoming more and more paranoid about the safety of the Border. He would put up thicker walls around the population, and place more and more guards around civilizations by the hour. Of course, he didn't have a problem with finding the resources, after all, he had the gift of the Imprint. The Imprint was a small mark, normally given to two individuals, that allowed them to "create" and "destroy" within the Border. This would make them much like gods compared to the rest of us but, they were still mortal. They could still be killed. In order to inherit the Imprint, you would have to be, most importantly, just and fair at heart. The Border, though inanimate, is a very strong presence that can very well think it's own and chose who will protect it. And because of all of the monsters that live within it, the Border had quite the selection. Secondly, you would have to be capable of even handling the Imprint, physically capable. You couldn't have any diseases, or a lack of physical fitness. Finally, it is always most preferred if you were of royal blood. Why? No one really knows, but I personally believe it's because the Border doesn't want a shift in power among the population. That would cause a lot of termoil among our peaceful little world, and possibly lead to the end of us. Possibly. Anyways, Asgore wasn't the only one with the Imprint. Queen Toriel was gifted with the power as well, giving our world a second line of protection from the outside, as well as being a second voice as to what would happen around the Border. I sighed as I finished placing all of the newly checked in books in their proper places on the bookshelf. Upon habit, I stuffed my right hand into my pocket and started to the library door to unlock it. Snatching the keys from the front desk, I stuck the metal into the keyhole, twisting it, and heard that familiar 'click', signalling that it was unlocked and now free to the public. It would be awhile before anyone came into the library...and I guess I should have enjoyed that time... When everything was all, still so normal. -------editor's notes--------- Me and my team want to thank you for tbe support! We really appreciate you guys!

[unixcommerce]

How to Deal With Anxiety at Work

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

We live in more uncertain times and that heightens anxiety in our lives, but especially in our work life.

Based on a survey from the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, while only 9% of individuals are living with a diagnosed anxiety disorder, 40% experience ongoing stress or anxiety in their daily lives, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.

It is important to know the difference between normal feelings of anxiety and an anxiety disorder requiring medical attention which can help a person identify and treat the condition.

The symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) will often include:

restlessness, and a feeling of being “on-edge”

uncontrollable feelings of worry

increased irritability

concentration difficulties

sleep difficulties, such as problems in falling or staying asleep

The American Psychology Association describes a person with anxiety disorder as “having recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns.” Once anxiety reaches the stage of a disorder, it can interfere with daily function. It’s important to know if your anxiety is general or possibly a disorder, which should include a medical evaluation.

Anxiety in the Workplace

Anxiety at work especially in these current times brings challenges that impact all of our current workplace demographics and workforce diversity. The generations in our current workforce represent  Baby Boomers, Gen x, Millennials and GenZ, which spans ages 70 to 20’s. They are more educated, diverse and bring different and important skills to the table. Women are expected to continue to gain share, rising from 46.8 percent of the workforce in 2014 to 47.2 percent by 2024.

We can help each other get through our anxieties by supporting each other and sharing our experiences of how we got through them. Anxiety is a human emotion that gets triggered by so many personal and professional factors. Regardless, we need some concrete and solid ideas, tools and suggestions to help us deal with our anxiety and emotions.

Trying to convince yourself to stop being anxious when you’re feeling anxious is a bit like telling yourself to fall asleep when you have insomnia — it doesn’t work. So what does?

Coping with anxiety when you’re at work and expected to perform at your best can be particularly challenging.

Whether you’re worrying about something specific, like an imminent deadline, or you just have a formless feeling of dread, you might be telling yourself something along these lines: “You’ve got to get back to work, stop worrying, stop obsessing, get your head back in the game and just focus!“

Easier said than done.

How to Deal With Anxiety at Work

Trust Your Feelings

Have you experienced an anxiety attack at work and do you remember how you felt?  Too many of us don’t feel like mental symptoms are as real as physical ones. Thinking that mental health problems are, in some way, not as real as physical ones is not uncommon. This year, millions of Internet users have asked Google if mental illness is real, and the Internet abounds with public awareness campaigns from the government and non-profit organizations answering with a resounding “Yes!”

“Anxiety disorders are real, serious medical conditions — just as real and serious as physical disorders such as heart disease or diabetes,” writes the ADAA.

“Anxiety disorders are the most common and pervasive mental disorders in the United States.”  The National Institutes of Health (NIH) reports that as many as 1 in 5 Americans are affected by anxiety disorders.

Don’t Worry About Getting Fired

A major part of having an anxiety attack in the workplace can be the fear that you’ll get fired. The good news is — you probably won’t. The fear of getting let go is often a hallmark of workplace anxiety. But should your worst “what if” scenario come true, the law is on your side.

The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is designed to protect employees like you from job discrimination; so, if you tell your employer that you have a lasting “physical or mental impairment,” they are required, by law, to not only keep you on, but also provide you with “reasonable accommodation.” As the ADAA explains, your employer cannot fire you, or refuse to hire you, if you’re qualified for the job and your disability stops you from performing tasks that are “not essential” to the job.

Work With Anxiety, Not Against It

Steven Hayes, author of 46 books and over 600 scientific articles, professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Nevada in Reno, a man who is no stranger to panic attacks himself — advocates for a more self-compassionate and self-accepting way of dealing with anxiety. In fact, Prof. Hayes is the founder of one of the newest and most innovative forms of cognitive behavioral therapy, called acceptance commitment therapy (ACT). This form of therapy starts with the acceptance and non-judgemental observation of negative thoughts, and moves toward bringing the client into the present moment and helping them lead a meaningful life.

Make Stress Your Friend

Along similar lines, health psychologist and world-renowned speaker Kelly McGonigal makes the case for a positive rethinking of stress. She explains, it’s not so much the stress itself that is harmful, as the way in which we think about it.

Instead of seeing stress as your enemy, you can make it your friend and work for you. Stress and anxiety are nothing but a sign that you care about something, and this care can be molded into something that wildly improves your performance instead of inhibiting it.

She says these 3 steps help make anxiety work for you:

Acknowledge stress when you experience it and allow yourself to notice the stress, including how it affects your body.

Welcome the stress by recognizing that it’s a response to something you care about., so try to connect to the positive motivation behind the stress. Figure out what is at stake here, and why it matters to you?”

Make use of the energy that stress and the anxiety it brings you, instead of wasting that energy trying to manage it. What actions can you take right now that will move your goals and values forward.

Find Activities That Make You Feel Good and Brings Balance to Your Life

Exercise Daily

Yoga and meditation has been shown to significantly reduce feelings of anxiety and stress.

Stress Management

Have a Support System

Seek Professional Counseling

Get a Mental Health Evaluation

Restrict Caffeine

Commit to a Healthy Diet and Hydrate all Day

Work on a Regular Sleep Pattern

Focus on what you have control over and let go of what you don’t

Spend more time with people that support and uplift you

Support and Uplift others who need it

Be Kinder and Gentler to Yourself

Often, those of us who live with anxiety are also perfectionists, over-achievers, and generally people who (have been taught to) expect a lot from ourselves. When you have anxiety, that makes things even worse, because not being at your best makes you angry at yourself, and treating yourself harshly is the last thing you need when you’re, in fact, at your most vulnerable.

Remember no one is ever perfect, and we all need to take care of and nurture our flawed selves. For most of us, our work days consist of sitting in front of our computers, barely blinking, let alone getting up to move. Take short breaks to get up and move around the building.  Go for a walk around the block during lunch or walk to lunch.

Just getting up and walking around your office can be the physical and mental outlet you need to let some of that stress and anxiety burn off without sending you into a spiral.

Remember It’s a Moment

When we are in the thick of our worst anxiety, it feels like it’s never going to end. Here’s the thing: it will, it’s going to end and it will pass and you aren’t going to feel anxious forever. But get into action and help yourself through it.

Take a Five-Minute Meditation Break

We take bathroom breaks. And lunch breaks. So, why shouldn’t there be five minute meditation break? Take time out to center yourself during a stressful moment or situation. This sends a message to your brain. It tells you it’s time to relax and refocus. Take some deep breaths. Let go of aggravating thoughts. And get your emotions back on track.

We need to believe things are going to be okay and put them into perspective. Then we work through our anxieties best. Keep the faith. Take the actions that can change things. And keep treating yourself with love, kindness and respect.

Don’t allow anxiety to define who you are. It doesn’t own us. We own it.

Image: Depositphotos.com

This article, “How to Deal With Anxiety at Work” was first published on Small Business Trends

https://smallbiztrends.com/

The post How to Deal With Anxiety at Work appeared first on Unix Commerce.

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[businessreviewguidenow]

How to Deal With Anxiety at Work

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

We live in more uncertain times and that heightens anxiety in our lives, but especially in our work life.

Based on a survey from the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, while only 9% of individuals are living with a diagnosed anxiety disorder, 40% experience ongoing stress or anxiety in their daily lives, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.

It is important to know the difference between normal feelings of anxiety and an anxiety disorder requiring medical attention which can help a person identify and treat the condition.

The symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) will often include:

restlessness, and a feeling of being “on-edge”

uncontrollable feelings of worry

increased irritability

concentration difficulties

sleep difficulties, such as problems in falling or staying asleep

The American Psychology Association describes a person with anxiety disorder as “having recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns.” Once anxiety reaches the stage of a disorder, it can interfere with daily function. It’s important to know if your anxiety is general or possibly a disorder, which should include a medical evaluation.

Anxiety in the Workplace

Anxiety at work especially in these current times brings challenges that impact all of our current workplace demographics and workforce diversity. The generations in our current workforce represent  Baby Boomers, Gen x, Millennials and GenZ, which spans ages 70 to 20’s. They are more educated, diverse and bring different and important skills to the table. Women are expected to continue to gain share, rising from 46.8 percent of the workforce in 2014 to 47.2 percent by 2024.

We can help each other get through our anxieties by supporting each other and sharing our experiences of how we got through them. Anxiety is a human emotion that gets triggered by so many personal and professional factors. Regardless, we need some concrete and solid ideas, tools and suggestions to help us deal with our anxiety and emotions.

Trying to convince yourself to stop being anxious when you’re feeling anxious is a bit like telling yourself to fall asleep when you have insomnia — it doesn’t work. So what does?

Coping with anxiety when you’re at work and expected to perform at your best can be particularly challenging.

Whether you’re worrying about something specific, like an imminent deadline, or you just have a formless feeling of dread, you might be telling yourself something along these lines: “You’ve got to get back to work, stop worrying, stop obsessing, get your head back in the game and just focus!“

Easier said than done.

How to Deal With Anxiety at Work

Trust Your Feelings

Have you experienced an anxiety attack at work and do you remember how you felt?  Too many of us don’t feel like mental symptoms are as real as physical ones. Thinking that mental health problems are, in some way, not as real as physical ones is not uncommon. This year, millions of Internet users have asked Google if mental illness is real, and the Internet abounds with public awareness campaigns from the government and non-profit organizations answering with a resounding “Yes!”

“Anxiety disorders are real, serious medical conditions — just as real and serious as physical disorders such as heart disease or diabetes,” writes the ADAA.

“Anxiety disorders are the most common and pervasive mental disorders in the United States.”  The National Institutes of Health (NIH) reports that as many as 1 in 5 Americans are affected by anxiety disorders.

Don’t Worry About Getting Fired

A major part of having an anxiety attack in the workplace can be the fear that you’ll get fired. The good news is — you probably won’t. The fear of getting let go is often a hallmark of workplace anxiety. But should your worst “what if” scenario come true, the law is on your side.

The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is designed to protect employees like you from job discrimination; so, if you tell your employer that you have a lasting “physical or mental impairment,” they are required, by law, to not only keep you on, but also provide you with “reasonable accommodation.” As the ADAA explains, your employer cannot fire you, or refuse to hire you, if you’re qualified for the job and your disability stops you from performing tasks that are “not essential” to the job.

Work With Anxiety, Not Against It

Steven Hayes, author of 46 books and over 600 scientific articles, professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Nevada in Reno, a man who is no stranger to panic attacks himself — advocates for a more self-compassionate and self-accepting way of dealing with anxiety. In fact, Prof. Hayes is the founder of one of the newest and most innovative forms of cognitive behavioral therapy, called acceptance commitment therapy (ACT). This form of therapy starts with the acceptance and non-judgemental observation of negative thoughts, and moves toward bringing the client into the present moment and helping them lead a meaningful life.

Make Stress Your Friend

Along similar lines, health psychologist and world-renowned speaker Kelly McGonigal makes the case for a positive rethinking of stress. She explains, it’s not so much the stress itself that is harmful, as the way in which we think about it.

Instead of seeing stress as your enemy, you can make it your friend and work for you. Stress and anxiety are nothing but a sign that you care about something, and this care can be molded into something that wildly improves your performance instead of inhibiting it.

She says these 3 steps help make anxiety work for you:

Acknowledge stress when you experience it and allow yourself to notice the stress, including how it affects your body.

Welcome the stress by recognizing that it’s a response to something you care about., so try to connect to the positive motivation behind the stress. Figure out what is at stake here, and why it matters to you?”

Make use of the energy that stress and the anxiety it brings you, instead of wasting that energy trying to manage it. What actions can you take right now that will move your goals and values forward.

Find Activities That Make You Feel Good and Brings Balance to Your Life

Exercise Daily

Yoga and meditation has been shown to significantly reduce feelings of anxiety and stress.

Stress Management

Have a Support System

Seek Professional Counseling

Get a Mental Health Evaluation

Restrict Caffeine

Commit to a Healthy Diet and Hydrate all Day

Work on a Regular Sleep Pattern

Focus on what you have control over and let go of what you don’t

Spend more time with people that support and uplift you

Support and Uplift others who need it

Be Kinder and Gentler to Yourself

Often, those of us who live with anxiety are also perfectionists, over-achievers, and generally people who (have been taught to) expect a lot from ourselves. When you have anxiety, that makes things even worse, because not being at your best makes you angry at yourself, and treating yourself harshly is the last thing you need when you’re, in fact, at your most vulnerable.

Remember no one is ever perfect, and we all need to take care of and nurture our flawed selves. For most of us, our work days consist of sitting in front of our computers, barely blinking, let alone getting up to move. Take short breaks to get up and move around the building.  Go for a walk around the block during lunch or walk to lunch.

Just getting up and walking around your office can be the physical and mental outlet you need to let some of that stress and anxiety burn off without sending you into a spiral.

Remember It’s a Moment

When we are in the thick of our worst anxiety, it feels like it’s never going to end. Here’s the thing: it will, it’s going to end and it will pass and you aren’t going to feel anxious forever. But get into action and help yourself through it.

Take a Five-Minute Meditation Break

We take bathroom breaks. And lunch breaks. So, why shouldn’t there be five minute meditation break? Take time out to center yourself during a stressful moment or situation. This sends a message to your brain. It tells you it’s time to relax and refocus. Take some deep breaths. Let go of aggravating thoughts. And get your emotions back on track.

We need to believe things are going to be okay and put them into perspective. Then we work through our anxieties best. Keep the faith. Take the actions that can change things. And keep treating yourself with love, kindness and respect.

Don’t allow anxiety to define who you are. It doesn’t own us. We own it.

Image: Depositphotos.com

This article, “How to Deal With Anxiety at Work” was first published on Small Business Trends

source https://smallbiztrends.com/2020/03/how-to-deal-with-anxiety-at-work.html

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