#(Y’all are welcome to speculate and prod these two more >:3)

[hawaiian-shirts-and-coyote-bones]

Hello! I'd like to ask how the Ford and Stan in your guys' are. Are they any different or are they the same? I'd like you know your guys' relationship. For science, of course. (Not quite. Just curiousity.)

—Auburn Mintz 🧪 ( @auburnmintz )

Hohhh man, now can I tell y’all about that! This’ll get long I fear

Hello again, Dr. Mintz, it’s good to see you again. This will indeed be quite long

I have known Stan for a long time, actually! Back in the 70s, we were something of lovers for a time when he blew through Missouri.

To keep things short: I wasn’t in a good place, wasn’t the kind of woman I am now. He was a lonely, lonely man who in hindsight might have just tried to charm me to steal my wallet. Still, it made me feel seen in a way I…hadn’t been getting and it ended up turning into a whole love affair.

We never became official back then, not worth the mess it would be. Too risky, too much drama. Didn’t want to cut my folks off back then.

Sure, things weren’t perfect but they were…nice. At least, until he up and left. I don’t blame him for that one, we were in over our heads and no, we couldn’t fix each other. Still, meeting him made things different for me, I ended up getting the courage to get out of the shitty situation I was in. He, of course, had no idea about that but it doesn’t bother me none.

I admit we had a strange reunion much later down the line. Things were awkward, more than just “sending your ex lover hatemail” but I guess we couldn’t help ourselves and we started officially dating soon enough.

I think my Stan is like most of them, though mine runs his mouth a little less these days. Heights are a funny difference though, we’re the same height if he bothers to stand up straight. I saw one that I think I put the fear of god into by being a whole head taller than him…didn’t help that I was wearing big ol’ boots that day either….

As fer Ford? I…won’t lie, knowing Stan back then made things strange to say the least? Not to mention that he looked like he had a real thick stick up his ass that he was two minutes away from beating someone with. Turns out that was not true and he just kept glaring at me like that cause he was sure I’d be bad news for his brother.

We’ve had some…talks that have been…productive to say the least. I admit, some of it was Leo’s idea and some of it Stan’s.

It was real awkward at first. Poor fella looked like he wanted to climb the walls just to get out of having to talk but once we actually talked? I think we reached a good understanding. Learned we weren’t so different after all. It really helped out with any lingering tension we might have had.

Our Ford is…skeeved out by snakes but we’ve been working on that! Methany barely counts as being a live snake so she’s been perfect to work with. We’ve actually made some progress on that front! He still doesn’t want anything to do with Cash, but he’s a big snake so I can’t say I blame him.

We have some…other things in common, habits and…some lived experiences. It’s why the boys wanted us to talk so bad. It’s worked out pretty well all things considered! — Jolene🐺

I will say, when Jolene told me that she reconnected with an ex of hers I was…very apprehensive of Stanley. Jolene has, put simply, a questionable taste in men. I was not interested in seeing some rat bastard break her heart again.

Sure, outwardly he appeared to fit the mold for the kind of men that Jo used to bring back home and swear up and down were finally Mr. Right, but as we got to interact more I realized he was…far more than that. I do believe Stan might be the one person who deserves Jolene’s affections.

Between the two of us? It was surprising to find that we had common tastes, that being an enjoyment of period dramas. It wasn’t intentional, being stranded in front of the TV due to our other commonality: chronic pain. Turns out we have both seen “The Duchess Approves” and I had the pleasure of introducing him to our current series: An overdramatic Spanish period drama that is truly one of the most insane and campy things I have ever watched. It’s been a truly beautiful bonding experience and we have only needed the TV fixed twice, which I say is good all things considering.

As for Dr. Pines? Where do I begin?

I believe it was Jo’s plan to introduce me to Ford and Fiddleford, so that I could “Have yerself some proper nerd friends!”

I offered my skills as a biologist and proposed a research project, something I have not been able to do in quite some time. I felt out of my league with such brilliant minds and…physically displaced in their excitement. It took an embarrassing moment for them to realize that the physical limitations of my body needed to be considered. I was worried that I might be met with frustration as I was unable to follow them to the lab as I did not trust myself not to fall down the stairs…but the embarrassment that followed felt genuine and they…instead focused on building what would essentially be a stairlift. I was touched by that, very deeply so.

Our partnership became more than just colleges or peers. Friendship began to encompass it and a romantic relationship…even moreso.

Alas, they were both spoken for and I did not want become between the two of them because of my yearnings. Imagine my surprise when I was approached with reciprocated feels from both parties and a quiet, nervous offer for a polyamorous relationship. I still scarcely believe my luck some days. —Leonel🐱