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saintmelangell · 1 year ago

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(Ssorry 2 reference ur main 🙏) you recommended a few authors at one point that that included mary daly, and you mentioned that her views are outdated. i do plan to read her but until then, could i ask in what way her views are outdated? i keep seeing mentions of her name too in non theological feminist circles and something about dalyites?

(sorry for replying to this late i was in another country and didn't have my laptop lol) most people on this website would call mary daly a terf, although the term did not exist during the days of daly's scholarship. daly was trans-exclusionary and often viciously so. she was unable to modernize her thought to engage with evolving feminisms and thus she was unable to engage critically or helpfully with transgender rights. katherine o'donnell from university college dublin has written a paper on this topic that i highly recommend: daly was so focused on refuting aquinas and the oppressive patriarchal underpinnings of theology that she was unable to imagine a non-polarized approach to masculine/feminine binaries, and furthermore also unable to engage with critical race theory in a way that was helpful or progressive. to that end she was actually "called out" in a letter by audre lorde for her racial ignorance. for instance, daly compared a woman asking for equality in the church to a black person asking for equality in the klu klux klan. i get her point, but its an absolutely horrible analogy. i think daly allowed her frustration with religion to turn inward so much it made her myopic and her work often ineffective, but not without value.

daly eventually stopped doing theology work because she thought it was "hopelessly" patriarchal and shifted to philosophical feminism. prior to this shift she began incorporating wicca into her work, although she did not consider herself wiccan. i am also on the verge of giving up on theology because i agree with it being hopelessly patriarchal, but i do not consider wicca a viable alternative and i think philosophy is similarly, though not as intrinsically, as patriarchal as religion.

although i am not a terf and my work is focused on the rights of marginalized genders and sexualities, not exclusively women, i work with daly in my research. im mentioning this in an effort to combat the mentality that seems to be extremely prevalent these days where we completely reject certain thinkers (mainly women) for their problematic thought. scholarship is not a vacuum. no scholarship is presented as or should be taken as watertight, because we build on past scholarship in what? a hope that we can get closer to a truth. a scholar who presents their view unequivocally as the only correct one is a fascist and should not be paid attention to because by definition they cannot be engaged with effectively. this is not what daly was, although she was very misguided and lacked an effective cultural framework to understand the issue of trans rights and accept the invaluable role which trans people play in feminism and the rights of women and marginalized identities.

i would not call daly an influence on me, but because of my research her ideas- which were not original, are shared by grace jantzen, and come mainly from the work of erich fromm- about the patriarchy as necrophiliac are extremely important to me. i am using this idea to develop a better understanding of how patriarchy, including terfs, oppress the marginalized, especially woc and trans women. i do scholarship in awareness of daly's transphobia, and i take what is useful to modern feminism from her work because christian feminist theology would not be what it is today without daly. but the majority of scholarship i work with comes from queer and woc theologians: marcella althaus-reid, for instance, was a working class latina. audre lorde and bell hooks are much more important influences on me than daly will ever be. but i would not be a good scholar if i couldn't engage with problematic work and be able to derive what is both useful and not useful from it. if i simply ignored daly's scholarship, that would leave a gap in modern scholarship where terfs in theology could exploit that weakness and utilize daly against trans inclusion. by working with daly and, in a sense, using her work against itself (which one must do when working with theology because daly is right: it is hopelessly patriarchal), i am stopping up the gaps where bad scholarship could get through. i am exploiting the faults in daly's thought by drawing what is useful and using it in a new context that it was not intended for, but i am not dismissing daly because i couldn't do the thinking i am doing now without the work she did. she has created a foundation of both anti-patriarchy and anti-transness from which i can build my own anti-patriarchy, trans-inclusionary theology.

we come from contexts oppression. everything does. if we wipe out all of oppressive thought from our contemporary thinking and scholarship, we lose contexts, we lose the ability to combat the impression that is inevitable. how can i combat terfs now if i don't understand where they are getting their ideas from? how can i effectively show that trans exclusion is useless, anti-christian, anti-feminist and ideologically deadly if i haven't worked with the same scholarship terfs use for their ideas? i am more interested in showing how oppressions simply do not make logical sense than i am in keeping my scholarship "clean." i would rather wade into the mire to find the bottom of the pit than pretend the pit doesn't exist. i dont have to like daly, and i don't. i do have to be able make ideologies look stupid. and you. (not you specifically, anon, but anyone reading this who is under the idea that we shouldn't read problematic authors or scholars because their ideas are outdated and bad.) you should too.

#replies #hopefully this doesnt piss anyone off but this is the piss people off website

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tendergore · 6 years ago

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@micooll thaNKS PAL!

#i reply so late sometimes im ssorry #i should tag replies #micooll

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tsipasce · 5 years ago

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Same Difference Ch. 12

A/N: ssorry for the late-ish upload, I got married yesterday! :D

On that note, this chapter is a bit cuter than usual so I hope you enjoy. As always, thank you for all the really sweet comments and kudos <3

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11

AO3

Nanami undressed carefully and ran a bath, wincing as she slid in, the soapy water reminding her of all the nicks and bruises she’d accumulated that night. Exhaling for what felt like the first time in hours, she leaned her head back against the rim of the tub and felt a tear roll down her cheek. Before she could register the action, the emotional dam burst open and tears continued to fall one after the other as she tried to stifle a whimper.

It had all come to a head and the pain she’d been suppressing bubbled upwards and down her flushed face. She had an inkling of what to expect when she got involved with his world. She knew there would be consequences, but the confirmation and reality of said consequences were another story entirely. This is... a lot. Even for me. She thought almost laughing to herself again at the predicament, attempting to steady her breath, But I can—I will handle it. We’re gonna accept this feeling and then let it go. If I let this take over, then what was all this for? I’m gonna keep going. I have to… But for just a little while longer, I’m going to rest.

She sighed, healing her wounds and scrubbing herself gently with her favorite lavender scrub. If she was going to rest, she was going to do it right. I’ll finish up here, light some candles, put on my favorite pj’s, play some music in the living roo—just then she remembered she wasn’t alone and sank down into the tub, suddenly feeling very exposed. As nervous as she was, there was also a strange sense of comfort. If he’s still there, that is.

Accepting she couldn’t hide in her bubble fortress forever, she exited the tub, toweling off and going to her room through the adjoining door in the bathroom. She was still committed to the favorite p.j.’s idea, putting on a matching black and white short sleeve shirt and shorts. Before the thought of “what’s Overhaul gonna think?” could rear its head, she cut it off. It’s my house, I wear what I want. Why would I care what he thinks anyways? She thought, trying to convince herself, rolling her eyes at the notion while also giving herself a once over in the mirror before exiting the room.

Her confidence waning with every step she took down the hallway to her living room, she sheepishly peeked from around the corner to see if he was still there. He was on her couch, focused on whatever was on his phone. He hadn’t moved from the spot where she’d left him.

“If you need something, feel free to come and get it. There’s no need to sneak around your own house.”

“Wha—I was not ‘sneaking around’. Just… checking to see if you were still here is all.” She sputtered, holding her arm, avoiding eye contact as he’d turned to address her.

“Like I said, I’ll be here.” The look he was giving her made her shift nervously.

She simply nodded, briskly making her way to the kitchen to make her nightly cup of tea. Realizing she should probably be a decent host, she decided to offer him some. He’ll probably say no, but what the hell.

“I’m making some tea, you want some?” Yup. Nailed it. Host of the year, here I come.

“No, thank you.” Knew it. Why’d I even ask. She chastised herself inwardly.

Accepting defeat, she filled the kettle with water and placed it on the stove to warm as she gathered the rest of her ingredients. The water now hot, she poured a bit into the bowl, discarding it after she swished it around. She opened the cannister, taking a small scoop of the powder to press through the sieve. An equally small amount of water was carefully poured into the bowl before she began whisking, now calmed by the familiar routine. As she lost herself in the task, a small voice cut through her thoughts.

“… is that Sei-un?”

She paused, turning to look at him, pleasantly surprised. “You can smell that through your mask?”

“Yes… it’s my favorite.”

“Mine too! I mean, I enjoy it. A little.” She said pulling back her excitement. “Would you like some tea now?” she tempted, raising a brow. It was nice to meet a fellow matcha enthusiast, though the circumstances may not have been ideal.

“… Yes. But I need to see you make it, so you do it properly.”

“Oh, so you don’t trust my expertise?” she asked, slightly offended, but used to his fussiness by now.

“I trust your taste, but no I do not trust this alleged ‘expertise’ when it comes to preparation.” He began as he walked into the kitchen to stand next to her at the counter.

“Pssh. Nothing ‘alleged’ about these moves. Watch and learn.” Nanami expertly sifted the powder and whisked until a layer of foam formed at the top, letting her know it was ready to be served. She took a teacup and gracefully poured the mixture, sliding it over to him triumphantly. He picked up the cup, bringing it up to his nose to take in the aroma before Nanami realized he would have to take off his mask to enjoy her concoction. “Oop! Sorry,” She said covering her eyes with one hand as she motioned him to drink with the other.

“You know you don’t have to… Nevermind.” He said before pulling his mask down to take an appraising sip.

She heard a content sigh and rustling as she spread her fingers to peek through, catching a glimpse of his now-serene gaze, “…So?” She asked eager for his response.

“This… is good.” He responded sincerely and Nanami found herself beaming at the confirmation of her expert moves. “But let me show you how it’s really done.”

He went through similar steps, his movements precise and measured as though he’d done it a million times before. There was a peacefulness in him she’d only seen glimpses of in the lab as he carefully prepared the cup for her. She found herself wishing she could see this side of him more often.

After finishing, he confidently, slid the cup over to her waiting to gauge her reaction. She grasped it with both hands, taking in the scent before sipping. She closed her eyes, relaxing for what felt like the first time today. There was nothing like having a hot cup of tea after a long day but having someone else make it for you made it that much better. “I can’t lie, this is great. Nice and smooth.” She replied earnestly. Their eyes met and there was a contentment in his gaze she was happy to see. Realizing they were once again too close, she broke the eye contact, to her dismay finding it was getting harder with each time. She walked over to the couch to sit and enjoy the rest of it, hopeful she could shake off the growing tension before they had another repeat of whatever had happened earlier in the lab.

She heard footsteps from behind her as he returned to sit on the couch, leaving a safe amount of space between them.

“So… have you ever tried using a milk frother?” She began.

He turned to her, an incredulous look in his eyes, “Are you trying to insult me?”

“What? No, I just had a friend recommend it since it’s faster, but it kinda defeats the purpose to me. Making it is half the fun, so why rush?”

He regarded her, pleasantly surprised, “I couldn’t agree more…”

They continued trading tips and tricks for the next hour, Nanami going on a tangent rather passionately, as he listened intently to her speech about the best tea snacks and why they weren’t pickled plums. Overhaul himself becoming rather animated as he rated and critique how adequately (Kurono) or terribly (Rappa) each of the Precepts prepared tea, unsurprisingly rating himself the highest. The caffeine began to wear off and she tried to stifle a yawn. “I think I’m going to try and get some sleep.”

“That would be wise.” He confirmed, politely shooing her off.

Rubbing her eyes, she took her cup to the sink to rinse it off, swearing she’d clean the rest in the morning. Before she made it down the hallway, she had an epiphany and turned back to the living room.

“I’m so sorry, there’s a guest room here you can use. It’s right down the—”

“No need. I won’t be sleeping.” He responded, cutting her off as he glanced out her window.

“Oh. Well, in case you change your mind or doze off,” she said, her voice trailing off as she went into the spare room, coming back with blankets and pillows placing them on the sofa, “these babies are freshly laundered.” She began walking towards her room before turning again, “Thank you for coming by…Goodnight.” It was almost a whisper as she found herself too nervous to raise her voice further.

Before she closed her bedroom door, a voice called back, “You’re welcome, goodnight.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Saturday morning came and Nanami awoke, feeling surprisingly well-rested considering what happened the night before. Stretching, she rolled out of bed, checking her phone for texts while making a b-line to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Walking into the living room, she saw him perched by the window, checking his phone. Hearing footsteps, he glanced towards her, doing a double-take before assessing the visage fully.

Her eyes were heavy-lidded, her chestnut skin smooth and glowing from a good night’s rest. The skylight in her apartment let in a stream of sunlight that made her silver hair shimmer as it cascaded down her shoulders. She stood in the doorway, relaxed, looking every bit an angel with bed head and silly house shoes. Slowly pocketing his phone to give her his full attention, he cleared his throat, now reassured that staying the night had been the right decision.

Judging by his stunned silence, Nanami was sure she must have looked like a hot mess. I knew I should’ve changed first, but no I just had to listen to my stomach and waltz out here. Who even wears bunny slippers anymore? She cringed inwardly knowing he would never forget this sight, though she had thoroughly misjudged why. Quickly brushing her hair into a more socially acceptable state with her fingers, she fidgeted under his gaze, wishing he would say something—anything—and put her out of her misery. She decided to strike first, unable to stand the silence any longer. “G-good morning! I’m gonna put on some coffee,” she spluttered, “I was also going to make some breakfast too—nothing crazy, of course—would you want any?” She sincerely hoped he would throw her a lifeline and respond, but his eyes were glued to her.

After letting her squirm a bit longer, he rose “There’s no need. I have to head back as there’s an interrogation to conduct. Keep your phone on your person this time. I’ll be in touch… Thank you for your hospitality.” He gave a subtle bow, leaving before she could form a response. Nanami watched him go, a part of her wishing he’d stayed a bit longer.

Brushing off his abrupt departure, she began texting Hitomi to coordinate their joint errand run. Remembering she still had a normal life to get back to.

H: You ready?

N: Yeah, just gonna throw on some clothes real quick

H: Cool. Be there in 15 😊

N: Like... actual 15 or “I just rolled outta bed” 15?

H: … Be there in 30

N: Mmhm~

Deciding it would be more fun to pick up breakfast treats with her friend, Nanami went back into her room to change. She picked out one of her favorite old band tees, some loose ripped jeans, and her favorite chunky sneakers, putting her hair into a ponytail with a fluffy scrunchy. It had been about 20 minutes since Overhaul left when she heard her other phone buzz on her nightstand. Pretending she wasn’t eager to answer, she casually walked over to the phone answering on the third ring.

“Answer on the first ring next time.”

“Wow, well hello to you too, sunshine.” A sigh could be heard on the other line and she would bet money he was already massaging his temples, “What’s so urgent?”

“Have you heard the name Dr. M?”

“Hm… no, doesn’t ring a bell. Why do you ask?” in the background she heard distinct cracking and whimpers. “… Overhaul, why are you asking me this and what is going on in the background?”

“If this interrogation goes well, then soon we’ll both know. Until then, keep your phone on you.” The line clicked. Having to set broken bones before, the cracking noises she’d heard in the background weren’t much of a mystery.

Before she could let her mind wander about the “interrogation”, her doorbell rang. Putting both phones in her bag, she went to the door, seeing through the peephole that it was Hitomi. She opened the door, giving her friend a warm embrace.

“Ready to go?”

“Actually, need to use your bathroom first, if you don’t mind. My bladder and I have not been on the same page lately.”

Chuckling, she let her friend through, “No problem, have at it.”

As Hitomi stepped through the door, her face dropped. “Something’s different.”

Thankfully Hitomi had her back turned to her or else she would have seen Nanami’s dodgy glances as she prayed her friend didn’t investigate further. Getting her involved was dead last on a very long list of things she wanted to do. “What are you talking about? Nothing’s changed,” she laughed nervously.

Hitomi began eyeing the place suspiciously before taking in a big whiff. Nanami watched the scene unfold in slow motion as she was powerless to stop it. Her eyes fell on the pillows and blankets on the couch, then the genkan where her shoes had been displaced by another pair, then—the final nail in the coffin—the set of tea cups that had been cleaned and neatly placed on the counter. Before she could appreciate that he’d cleaned up for her, Hitomi spoke, “… Who is he.”

“N-no one! I mean what are you talking about?”

“I smell…” she inhaled and paused for dramatic effect, “a man.”

“That’s me. I ran through the men’s section of a department store earlier. Got bombarded with samples.”

“The stores aren’t even open yet, you have your best linens folded neatly on the couch, and you have not one—but two—cups out that you only drink your special matcha tea in. Spill. The. Beans.”

“You can’t make me as there is nothing to spill.” Nanami deadpanned, as her phone rang. Judging by the ringtone, she knew it was the one she only used for Overhaul. Shit.

“… You gonna answer that?”

She knew she had no choice as she reluctantly retrieved the offending object, answering the call. She looked down, refusing to make eye contact with Hitomi who was already thinking of a million questions to ask. “Hello?”

“Ok. I know you’re intelligent. So why after I ask you to answer on the first ring do you then wait an additional three rings the next time I call?”

“Oh hey, Mrs. Ito! How are you?”

“Wait, what?”

“Oh, I’m so glad to hear that! I’m doing great as well, thank you for asking.”

“Ok, I’m taking back my intelligent comment.”

“Well aren’t you a hoot n’ a half! But can I call you back later? I’m about to go out on a girl’s day with my friend here.”

“… You’re really bad at this.”

“Oh, thank you! You’re too kind!”

“Text me when you can talk freely. Until then, get acting lessons.” She could hear a slight chuckle under his breath.

“Well that sounds great, I’ll talk to you soon! Oh, and I’ll be sure to put a big ol’ mark in my planner for you, ok? Buh-bye!”

“Wait, that didn’t even cou—” he began to protest as she hung up.

As she was already writing her Oscar acceptance speech for the performance in her head, she confidently pocketed her phone. Though when she glanced back up, Hitomi gave her a pitiful look, “He’s right, you are really bad at this.”

“Ok look, I can explain, I—”

“Hey, if you’re going this far to try and hide him, then I’ll take the hint and wait until you’re ready to tell me. I know you’re not very experienced with dating and all so I’ll give you a break for now… though judging by your glow this morning I’d say someone already came to give you a break, or should I say to ‘break you off’.” She said wiggling her brows.

Nanami narrowed her eyes in confusion for a beat, before she caught on, “What do you—OH NO. NONONO. Nu uh. None of that happened—or ever will happen.”

“Calm down, I’m just teasing. But when it does happen, just let me know if you need any tips. No need to make your first time your last, amiright?” Hitomi said much too suggestively for her liking as she tried to get his voice out of her head.

“Let’s… let’s just go.”

“Anything you want sweetcheeks,” she winked as she went to the restroom before they left.

As they got into the car, Hitomi listed off where they needed to go and decided it’d be best if she went to the post office first. While Nanami waited in the car, she texted Overhaul she had a moment. Almost instantly the phone rang.

“Well aren’t yo—”

“We need to talk.”

#same difference #overhaul fanfiction #overhaul x oc #chisaki kai #kai chisaki #shie hassaikai #bnha fanfic #mha oc #mha fanfic #bnha oc #overhaul

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freedom-shamrock · 8 years ago

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A Little Secret - Chapter 6

Also on AO3

Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11

Amazing art created by @soundofez pg 1 pg 2 pg 3

To Call the Cat a Chat

Ladybug scooped dazed supermodel Adrien Agreste over her shoulder and swung out of the danger zone of the emotionally vulnerable victim of the day. She wanted to hyperventilate, or completely freak out, but she was in her super suit right now, and had to shove her civilian concerns aside so she could focus.

She alighted on the rooftop patio of Le Grand Paris, maintaining her momentum as she jogged toward the doors. He was more disoriented than injured, and it was clear he'd be out of it until she cleansed the akuma, which meant he needed to be somewhere safe. If her suspicions were accurate, and at this point she didn't really harbor any doubt, Chat Noir wouldn't be able to help her today. All the more reason to be sure Adrien was out of the cold and in the hands of someone who cared about him.

"Chloe Bourgeois!" she called. "Miss Bourgeois, are you here?"

"What on earth?" the familiar voice with a hint of a whine replied. "Who do you think you are, barging in here…" She came out and saw her hero and the young man she still called her best friend. "Oh, Adrien!" She gasped, looking at Ladybug with naked fear in her eyes. "What happened? Is is he okay?"

Ladybug nodded. "He's going to be confused until I... we take care of the akuma." She gestured toward the windows. "I couldn't leave him out in the cold like this."

Chloe smiled smugly. "You like him."

That was unexpected. "Uh… what?"

"Ha!" She caught Ladybug's free arm and and drew her into a guest bedroom. "You like Adrien, in a more than friendly way." Her tone was statement, without any hint of question. She pulled back the blankets, then moved to untie his shoes. "I don't blame you. He's quite the catch." She shrugged. "Not my type though."

Ladybug eased him onto the bed, gently brushing the hair out of his eyes.

"Awww," Chloe squealed. "You should totally ask him out. I know for a fact that he likes you, too. Probably even more than I do." Her smile was smug. "I would even be willing to shelve my jealous nature."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea…" Ladybug shook her head. "It's not safe to be seen with me too often."

Chloe tilted her head to the side a bit. "You may not realize this, but he's alone a lot. He's the only one home in that stupid trap he calls home, most evenings. It'd be perfectly safe for you to visit him." The level of anger in her voice surpassed anything the blonde had ever used in school. "You could probably justify stopping by tonight, you know. Just to make sure he's okay after this." She gestured to the young man who was gazing up at them dazedly.

"Adrien?" Ladybug asked, leaning forward. "Are you okay?"

"Bug? Chlo?" He rubbed clumsily at his face. "Ssorry. I messssed up," he mumbled.

"It's okay." She caressed his cheek. "You're safe. Chloe is going to take care of you while I go handle the akuma."

"Take me," he suggested. "I can help."

"As if," Chloe said with a laugh. "Adrien, you're a mess. You can't even stand. You're staying here. I'll call down for popcorn and we can watch that trashy figure skating anime you love so much."

"S'not trashy," he objected, frowning.

"I agree with Miss. Bourgeios," Ladybug said. "About the staying, that is. I can't comment on the anime." She winked at him. "I'll have you feeling back to normal as soon as I can." She leaned in and kissed him on the forehead before turning and darting from the room. She needed to take care of this akuma before he said anything he shouldn't, though after her brief exchange with Chloe, she suspected she really didn't need to worry even if he blurted out something incriminating. As if she needed more revelations right now.

Adrien stared down at his homework with a scowl. After this afternoon's akuma had been dealt with, and he'd returned to his usual state of mind, he'd gone through several emotional upheavals in quick succession. It was a good thing his father was out, as usual, given his feelings about emotions. There'd been embarrassment over the whole situation. Chloe had been nice about it, but he had a feeling he'd babbled his head off about all sorts of things that were best kept to himself. Plagg assured him he hadn't blown his cover with his long-time friend, but he wasn't convinced.

Once he'd had the chance to see Alya's footage of the Harry Potter-inspired akuma, the guilt kicked in. His Lady had been on her own dealing with someone who had all the standard wizarding curses down. The sight of green light indicative of a killing curse, shooting at Ladybug during the fight left him queasy and shaking. He'd come far too close to losing the best things in his life. Self-loathing had been quick to follow that realization. He was pretty sure he wouldn't be sleeping tonight, or possibly ever.

He stared at the chemistry homework he was supposed to hand in tomorrow, knowing it was unlikely to get done. He just couldn't focus. His mind kept going back to the footage of the fight, and Ladybug narrowly dodging curses.

A light tapping at his window made him straighten up with a start. Standing on the ledge, which he knew for a fact was slippery, stood Ladybug. She flashed him a bright smile and waved.

Jumping to his feet, he dashed across the room and opened a nearby window. "Ladybug?" He wanted to hug her. To thank her. To prove to himself she was okay. But right now, he was Adrien, and while he had every reason to believe he knew who she was, she didn't want him to know. How was he supposed to talk to her?

"Hey, is it okay… can I come in for a minute?" She seemed unusually flustered, and he was forcibly reminded that Chloe insisted Ladybug was in love with him.

He stepped out of the way, but held out a hand to assist her if needed. "Yes. Please. I'd like to thank you properly for your help today."

Her hand slid into his, feeling so familiar despite his missing leather gloves. "I was really worried about you," she said, stepping into the room, and keeping her hold on him. She reached over to close the window. "Are you okay?" She peered into his face, clearly concerned.

He shrugged. "I'm sorry you had to waste time taking care of me." It was suddenly hard to breathe. He felt like such terrible partner. He wondered, and not for the first time today, if he should give up his ring for someone better suited to it.

Ladybug let go of his hand and pulled him into a tight hug. "Don't be sorry," she said, either failing to hide her irritation, or not even bothering to try. "You are never a waste of my time."

"You had to work so hard today," he said, trying to help her see his point. "That akuma was awful."

"It was," she agreed, still holding herself close to him.

"And you had to face it alone ." He shook his head. "You need a better partner." The last bit came out as a half-voiced after-thought.

Ladybug loosened her hold to lean back and look up at him. "There isn't anyone better. Chat Noir is the perfect partner."

Her words stunned him into silence.

"I would never want someone else as my Chat Noir." Her voice managed to be firm but sweet at the same time, like she was determined to get her point across, but was afraid she'd hurt his feelings.

"Oh." He looked to the side as that familiar heat filled his cheeks. "Uhm. Your Chat Noir?"

She nodded, her shy smile completely familiar, though he'd never seen it on Ladybug's face. "He's my miraculous other half. My perfect partner. Just as I'm his." She shrugged. "I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be able to make it to the fight."

"Oh." It came out as a sigh. There was no reason for her to think such a thing, unless she knew he'd been hit. "D-do you know who he is?" It was a stupid question. She was so smart; of course she knew.

"There are two parts of being a superhero that are really hard," she said. "Lying to my friends and family, is one. The other... the one that I've found is actually much worse, is not being allowed to share identities with my partner." She let go of him, taking both his hands in hers. "He's my best friend, Adrien. And we're not allowed to tell each other who we are under the masks, not yet." She met his eyes for a long moment. "I have… a kind of magical advisor, and she's told me I can't. It's a matter of safety, not trust. And even if I knew who was under that mask, I couldn't tell him. I wouldn't risk him, because he means too much to me. His safety is so important to me."

A strange sense of calm filled him, and he looked down into her amazing blue eyes, searching for a moment. "I understand." She knew who he was. She probably suspected he knew who she was, but her kwami… Tikki had forbidden acknowledging it. At least for now. "I agree."

She beamed at him. "Now, are you okay? I was really worried about you."

"I wasn't… okay, that is," he admitted. "But… I think I'm fine now. You… your words really helped."

She let out a sigh. "I'm glad." She glanced over at his desk. "You should probably finish that up. Uh, if it's for school tomorrow. I have not found science teachers to be very forgiving of my excuses."

He laughed. "Yeah. Me either." He was probably going to be able to concentrate now.

"And if you need a hand, you should maybe check in with a classmate before it gets too late." She smirked, releasing his hands and stepping toward the window. "Someone is sure to still be up."

"Good plan. Thank you." He stepped in quickly and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "For everything."

Chapter title - "To call a cat a cat" is a French idiom for calling something what it is, to say things as they are.

Chapter artwork by @soundofez, posted with permission can be found here.

Huge thanks to my betas: Karnival and @chatbug-jk

#Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Big Bang #fanfic #my writing #soundofez #art #A Little Secret

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novas-original-projects · 7 years ago

Text

Side Story

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP "Ah!" Lumin sits up in his bed, heart racing. He turns off his alarm and checks the time. He woke up to his second alarm. No time for breakfast. He sighs. He's used to this by now.

He gets up, takes a shower, dries his hair and gets dressed. He decides to just walk to work. When he passes by a guard.

"Taking your time? When you're late? M

an, you've got some balls. I wish I had the courage for that." The guard says.

"L-late? I'm not late! I may actually be on time."

"Aren't you supposed to be at work half an hour ago? It's 8:30 now."

"Oh... oh no! I am late!! Oh jeeze!" Lumin runs to the castle, going as fast as he can. But he ends up crashing into a fruit stand. He topples the stand over and lands in a pile of watermelons.

"Are you okay?!" Asks the young man.

Lumin slowly moves to get up. The young man offers a helping hand and Lumin accepts, embarrassed. Lumin apologizes profusely.

"It's okay. Hey! You're the royal messenger, right?"

"Y-yes..."

"Well than you better keep hurrying off to work! Don't worry about this, nothing I can't fix. It isn't the first time either. So I'm no novist! Now hurry! Or you'll be late!"

"I-I'm already late... are you sure I can't help?"

"It's fine! It's fine! Thank you but I got this."

"O-okay. Sorry. B-bye..." Lumin mumbles before running off towards the castle. He bursts inside, slips on the floor, crashes into the hall and begrudgingly walks to the throne room. There sits the king, impatient and hungover. Lumin knows this is going to be a long day.

"Lumin. Great. What's your excuse this time." The king groans.

"I... uh... well..."

"Oh. My. Lord. FFFucking. Stop."

"U-uhm... s-ssorry."

"Uuugghh my gooodnessssss. Lumin. Honey. I am SO tiiirrred of this. Could you just do your damn job on time? I would absolutely behead if you weren't actually really good at your job. If you were good at your job I would fire you. But you're rreeeaallly good at your job. Be. Fucking. Thankful."

"Th-th...thank you..."

"Ugh. Now go deliver stuff and bring me things. Like the good little messenger you are."

"Y-yes..." Lumin leaves. He thinks his job is pretty mundane, what with modern technology. But he does his job anyways. He brings his king some hangover cures, delivers various items across wonderland to and from his king of hearts, and he takes few breaks. He runs at super speed to reach his destinations, he's faster than a running horse. That allows him to make more trips through the day than the average means of transportation.

On one trip back he spots Amsi and Alex hanging out at the city gardens, feeding the fountain koi. He at first goes to wave to them but he instead hides behind a building and watches them smile at each other and laugh. He furrows his brow in jealousy and goes around the area, being later than usual in order to avoid being spotted by the two. He is thinking so much on those two that he doesn't even hear the king's lecture on time.

He heads out on his break and sits at a bakery/café run by the March Hare. The twins both greet him when he comes in.

"Lumin!" Cheers Dee.

"What's up?" Smiles Dum.

"Oh... the usual..." Lumin sighs.

"Work sucks doesn't it?" Dum agrees.

"I like work!" Cheers Dee.

Lumin places his order and Dee goes to make his food and tea.

"Hey, I bet you heard." Dum smirks.

"Heard what?" Lumin questions.

"Heard the news!" Giggles Dee.

"You must've heard."

"Everyone's heard."

"Everyone knows."

"You must know."

The two tease and chatter until Lumin asks the specific question, "What is news are you going to tell me about?"

"Alice is back!" The two shout happily causing Lumin to jump.

"I-I know that already." Lumin replies, adjusting his glasses. "I brought him to the castle. He's..."

"He?" Questions Dee.

"Him?" Questions Dum.

"U-uhm... yeah. He. Alex. His name isn't Alice anymore."

"Not Alice?"

"But she's still Alice, right?"

"Yeah! She is still Alice. So why change her name?"

"Um... I don't know... But Alex still sounds similar to Alice. So, I think he still wants to be Alice."

"Did someone make her change her name?"

"He- um- I- uh...." Lumin gets flustured and blushes, his ears going down. He sips his drink. "I don't know." He mumbles.

"Where is Alice?" Asks Dee.

"After work we should ask her ourselves!" Remarks Dum.

"Yeah!" Agrees Dee.

"U-uh I- ...Alex is hanging out with Cheshire cat right now. I don't know when he'll get back to the castle." Lumin caves in.

"Is that where she's staying?" Dee asks.

"Y-yes..." Lumin admits.

"Well we'll just meet her there tonight." Dum pouts.

"Yeah! Tonight!" Cheers Dee.

Lumin immediately regrets ever saying anything and is blushing out of embarassment and anxiety. He tries desperately to fix it but all he can do is stutter, mumble and cut himself off. He can't seem to choke out any coherent words. Even if he did, what could he say? He doesn't want to be rude. But he also doesn't want to be at fault for the twins pestering Alex. He's sure Alex will have a long tiring day hanging out with that bothersome cat. He doesn't want to cause extra stress. But it's too late, the twins already made up their minds and nothing can stop them.

"Oh what have I done?" Mumbles Lumin under his breath.

"What's that?" Asks Dum.

"N-nothing!" Panics Lumin. Dee and Dum look at each other and shrug.

"Get back to work you pesky twins!" Barks the March Hare as he leaves the kitchen of the Café. He tosses the towel into the sink as he walks away and finishes drying his hands.

"I just put in a new batch of doughnuts and I don't want them to burn! Keep an eye out for them while I make myself a cup of coffee!"

"Y-yes!" The twins both say as they skitter off into the kitchen.

The March Hare sighs as he approaches Lumin. "Those kids..."

"H-hi... M-March..."

"Hello, Rabbit. On break are you? Had a busy day?"

"Oh yes... like usual..." Mopes Lumin.

"Haha well I got those kids to leave you alone so you can enjoy your break! Now you better enjoy it and an extra coffee on the house!" Smiles March.

"Oh no I couldn't accept!"

"Oh come on, Lumin. Don't deny a gift from a friend!"

"...okay... thank you."

"My pleasure. Enjoy your break!"

Before he can even drink his coffee he gets a series of texts. He checks his phone and sees that the king has been texting him asking where he is with the tea. Lumin sighs, rolls his eyes and gets up.

"I guess I'm leaving now..." Lumin tells March Hare.

"Oh? Okay. Stay strong!" March Hare responds from behind the counter.

Two customers come in as Lumin leaves. He goes to the castle with the bag of ingredients from the Kingdom of Spades, brews the tea and brings the cup to the throne room. The king sits on the throne reading a folder. He blindly reaches out and grabs a cup from Lumin's hand. Before Lumin can say anything the king takes a huge drink before spewing it out.

"Lumin! This is coffee!! You know I hate coffee!" Yells Florus.

Lumin holds the tea as he just looks surprised that even happened. "Th-this is your tea..." Lumin mumbles.

"What??" Florus sternly asks.

"Th-this is yours! Your tea!" Lumin frantically states as he offers the tea.

"Why didn't you say so in the first place?!" Shouts Florus.

Lumin just cannot seem to find the courage to speak up. He just quietly stands there while Florus takes out his frustration on him. Evenually Florus takes his tea and sends Lumin on his way, giving the coffee back. Lumin heads to a washroom, locks the door, pours out the coffee in the sink and sits on the recently cleaned floor. He tucks his knees in and sighs. He wipes a tear from his eye and cleans his glasses. He counts to ten.

I will be calm when I count to ten. I will be calm and ready to continue on with my day.

"1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10. I am calm. I am ready to finish the day. 10. I am calm and ready to finish the day. 10. Nothing will stop me. 10. Minor setbacks will only slow me down but I will catch up. 10. I am calm. I am fully capable. 10. I am calm."

He sighs again. He stands up, dusts himself off, sighs, washes his hands and leaves the washroom.

The rest of the day is him running around and doing errands. He gets party supplies and helps to set up the party. Soon, his work comes to a close. He is invited to join the party but his exhaustion just leads him home and into bed. On his way home he finds himself thinking about seeing Alex and Amsi together. The thoughts upset him, he just simply cannot trust that cat. Who knows what trouble Amsi would get Alex into. Or what romantic advances would Amsi make? Oh that terrible cat.

As soon as Lumin gets into bed he falls into a deep sleep. He dreams of Amsi and Alex flirting, laughing and teasing. Suddenly they're holding hands. They're cuddling. Amsi is proposing. They're getting married. Lumin watches this all. His jealousy and fears getting the better of him. But he realizes that those thoughts are foolish and insecure. He realizes that more likely Amsi would accidentally get Alex killed. Now Lumin is presented with graphic and dramatic scenes of Alex dying over and over again. All because of Amsi. Lumin can't take anymore. He wakes up in a jolt then curls into a ball.

He hates nightmares.

#lumin #part 12 #part 13 #side story #extra story #bonus #bonus story #dont call me alice #don't call me alice!#alice in wonderland #alex in wonderland #white rabbit #long reads #long post #long read

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