#(wizards only fools) this is my thoughts. you evolved to be able to tell what’s going on around you.

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

culture shock. pep’s a hugger

wizard guards can smell fear (and … justice?) but i think when youre a kid like blaine you just use it for like. gauging your friends emotional states

[squishymochisoo]

the anatomy of a flower || hwang hyunjin

genre : angst, college au

pairing : hwang hyunjin x reader

words : 2.1 k

warnings: death 

sypnosis : every flower from the bouquet you gave to him was a reminder. a reminder that left a pain in his heart and tears on his cheeks. you two met from a part-time job, who would’ve thought it evolve into love? 

~            ~            ~

you were just like a flower to him.

when you first realize that a flower is starting to wilt, you heart clenches in pain. you always seem to feel guilty for not paying enough attention to it. for not watering it in the morning before you left for work.

just like the first petal of a flower that started to wilt, the pain of losing you did not only contain guilt but also the torment and agony without having you around in his life.

every petal was like a reminder to him

hyunjin stared at the flower in his hand, staring at the park the two of you used to spend most of your time in. his hand hovering over the first petal, pulling it out.

 “hyunjin, i’d like you to meet y/n” your boss introduced the new employee to you. you smiled gently at the tall handsome boy. you were supposed to teach him the ropes to this job but you felt a little underqualified to do so.

“y/n, i’m leaving. and since there’s practically no one here, you’ll cope with teaching hyunjin.” your boss shrugged her shoulder. sometimes it really did seem like she doesn’t know how to run a business.

the two of you stood awkwardly as you felt the door to the café close behind your boss. you looked up and smiled awkwardly while nodding slowly, not knowing why you were doing so.

“so,-er what do i have to know?” hyunjin hesitated. your eyes widened as if you just remembered what you were supposed to be doing. you walked behind the counter showing him how to work the register and how the system of the café works.

“woah this is a lot of information to take in” hyunjin laughed.

“well, if you think this is a lot of information then i don’t think you are ready to face the coffee machine just yet” you raised your eyebrows and jokingly shook your head.

“no no no no no! i wanna give it shot!” hyunjin exclaimed. your lame ass was really tempted to make a coffee joke based on what he said. but you didn’t feel like scaring a stranger off this quickly.

“okay if you say so” you smirked and raised one of your eyebrows.

 ~            ~            ~

 hyunjin grasped the petal he pulled; clenching it in his hands, not being able to control the tears that somehow make its way down his cheeks. he couldn’t help but let out a sob as his thoughts are flooded with you.

hyunjin just wanted you next to him once again.

hyunjin just needed you next to him once again.

~            ~            ~

 you smiled cheekily as you playfully threw hyunjin a rag. hyunjin frowned as narrowed his eyes at you; before running after you. the both of you chased each other around the barely lit closed coffeehouse.

“y/n stop!” hyunjin called after you whilst waving his hands around as if imitating a monster. it had been a month since hyunjin started at the both of you grew surprisingly close. close enough that even your boss knew it was a mistake assigning to you and hyunjin the closing shift.

you felt two arms engulf you in an embrace; “caught you!”

you felt blood rush to your cheeks unknowingly. hyunjin somehow had that effect on you.

 hyunjin pulled another petal off the flower once more; as if every petal was a reminder of you.

 “seungmin, jisung, lix, meet y/n” hyunjin gestured to you. you waved shyly at hyunjin’s friends.

“so you’re y/n? jinnie talks a lot about you” you side-eyed hyunjin and notices his eyes widen. you let out a small laugh.

“good things hope” seungmin nodded and smiled gently at you.

“only the best, don’t you worry y/n” jisung mentioned.

“oh? do you want coffee? it’s on me” you brought up and gestured to the free tables in the café.

 why did you love me so much? even with all my flaws, you understood me like no one did. you held me like no one did. you loved all my friends as much as i do. why were you so perfect? you were always there for me, even when sometimes i wasn’t. why wasn’t i there for you when it was most important?

 “you know, i’m glad we became friends” you gave a toothy smile at hyunjin, as the both of you sat on the pavement in front of the now closed café. sometimes the two of you would just sit there in front of the shop for hours just staring at the dark sky. you felt him take a deep breath, the two of you sitting so close in the cold under the night sky. the light that reflected of fthe moon landing on your face, illuminating your features that hyunjin could not get tired of.

“some nights, i like to think about what if we were much more than this” you whispered, probably not even aware of what you were saying as you stared ahead into the empty street. heat rushed towards hyunjin’s cheeks. hyunjin shifted his body towards you, looking down and stared into your eyes.

“can’t say i don’t do the same.” you smiled cheekily and stuck out your tongue at him.

 ~            ~            ~

 more tears dragged along hyunjin’s cheeks. he grasped the flower in his fist, slamming his fist repeatedly against the wall of his apartment.

“hyunjin stop! please…” jisung’s cries echoed through the apartment, his hands wrapping around hyunjin’s wrist trying to stop his best friend.

“this can’t be happening” hyunjin stared at jisung, as if asking for an answer as to why it happened, as if hoping that jisung was some wizard that knew how to reverse back time and change everything.

“i-i can’t lose them. not like this, we barely had any time together.” hyunjin’s voice muffled against jisung’s shoulder as jisung pulled him into a hug. jisung’s arms wrapped tightly around hyunjin, comforting him.

“let it out hyunjin, i’ll be here don’t worry.”

 ~            ~            ~

 “y/n! you can’t – no- stop it!” hyunjin laughed as he chased after you. you giggled and took another step away from him.

“y/n! stop eating ice-cream, you know you’re lactose intolerant!” you raised the spoonful of ice-cream closer to your mouth and raised an eyebrow towards hyunjin.

“baby please, you know you’re gonna regret that later. then you’ll scold me for not stopping you before eating the ice cream.”

“you’re stopping me now, so i won’t scold you later! i promise!” you pouted.

“you’ll get all sulky because i didn’t try hard enough. i know you y/n, we’ve been dating for what seven months?”

“the best seven months of my life, you mean” your head cocked to the side giving him a little wink.

“stop trying to act cute, i’m still not letting you eat that ice-cream!”

 ~            ~            ~

 ‘every minute spent with you was one of the greatest moments in my life.’ hyunjin thought to himself, as he found himself staring at the dark sky, the moon being the only that the shined.

“hey…” seungmin uttered softly as he sat himself down next to hyunjin. his eyes glancing over every feature of hyunjin’s. the glossy, swollen eyes from crying, the red nose from all the sniffling and the tears stained cheeks.

“here” seungmin passed a bottle of water to hyunjin. seungmin knew hyunjin best, but in that very moment, he couldn’t imagine the pain hyunjin must’ve been going through.

“i-i just don’t understand.” hyunjin sniffled. seungmin could hear from the way he was talking that hyunjin was trying not to cry all over again.

“i miss y/n, i miss that stupid cute idiot, who’d run around the café during closings or who’d secretly send me letters in the mail, making sure i remembered that they love me every day.” hyunjin chuckled softly.

“ i mean why couldn’t they just text me like a normal person. or sometimes they’d send me an email with an invitation so that my phone calendar reminds me when i have a date. or even when they dragged me to the haunted house and told me to hold their hand if i got scared, when that fool was the one screaming bloody murder the most. i just miss y/n”

 ~            ~            ~

 “close your eyes hyunjin! i said close your eyes! it’s a surprise!” y/n playfully slapped his back. hyunjin let out a big laugh.

“okay! okay! i promise i didn’t see anything” you slipped your hands into his, pulling him forward. hyunjin followed stumbling around a little as you forgot to tell about a step down or a small pebble in front of him.

“okay baby, you can open your eyes.” you whispered to him, you saw his eyes opened and stared at the surroundings.

“happy birthday baby!” you smiled as hyunjin stared at all his friends in the park greeting him with a cake and started singing the birthday song. you passed him a bouquet of flowers whilst grabbing his hands.

“w-what?” hyunjin stuttered as he tried to take in everything. his friends were here, you were here. everything was perfect.

hyunjin instantly turned to you still shell shocked.

“i love you” you whispered and pecked him on the lips before joining in on the birthday song.

 ~            ~            ~

 “remember my birthday party? i think it was the most perfect moments in my life. if i could replay that day, it’ll always be on repeat.” hyunjin turned to seungmin. seungmin smiled sadly.

“it was actually y/n’s idea, we were planning on just going on the eat like our normal birthday celebrations. but y/n insisted that it had to be super special for you.”

“they were hell-bent on making sure that the surprise was so perfect, even chan hyung was scared at one point of time, because he got the balloons in a different colour. y/n nagged at him and asked what’s the point of setting a colour theme for the party if they’re not even going to get the correct balloons. we even had a google document proposal, a budget planner and everything.” seungmin chuckled at the memory.

“how could y/n be so … perfect?” hyunjin sighed as he glanced at the flower he still held in his hand.

“you guys were perfect for each other”

 ~            ~            ~

 “okay, hold my hand and tell me everything’s going to be okay” you stated and stretched out your hand towards hyunjin.

“you’ll do great okay, trust me. now go and get that a grade for me” hyunjin’s grip tightened around your hand, comforting you.

“okay! i will! you’re right i can do this!” you exclaimed as you skipped towards the exam venue. hyunjin laughed as he watched you disappear from his line of sight.

 “i felt like everything came in slow motion, from the call to now. everything went by in slow motion and yet i couldn’t comprehend what was going on. i still can’t.” hyunjin squeezed his hand as if the force could shatter the flower petal.

 “y/n? please, baby?” hyunjin called out to you, slightly shaking your arms hoping you groan and wake up, asking him to stop it. but you don’t.

 “they told me, that day, i wouldn’t have to pick them up, from their exam. that they would stop by the bakery and get a cake to celebrate. that cute fool couldn’t even come home safely.”

hyunjin held the last flower from the bouquet you gave him for his birthday, in his clenched fists.

 “it’s been months and every petal reminds me of you. i forgive you for leaving me, y/n. i miss you. i wish i could see your cute stupid face just once more, to tell you that i love you. to tell you that you didn’t have to worry about that exam, to tell you that you aced it. to tell you that i can never go by the bakery without feeling that emptiness in my heart. to tell you that work has never been the same. and birthday parties are never as fun without you here.”

 “the flowers are gone but you’ll always be here, right next to me”

  ~            ~            ~

 a/n! i know it’s short, but it’s been wip since the start of this year! and i really wanted to do something with it! 

let me know your thoughts and anything you wanna tell me!! i’d really appreciate it!  

[shy-magpie]

RQG 146

[Author’s note: Sorry about the long break! I caught a bug and haven’t been able to edit for love or money. I have been writing the live blogs as the episodes come out but I suspect I will have to edit the stuffing out of them to get something that is both coherent and not twice as long as the show. Also I’m going to try to remember to toss a cut at the top of these things so it doesn’t take up so much of the dash etc.]

I love when they go auctioneer because they want to get to the content faster. Ooh reminder that the party have slightly conflicting goals. I almost spaced that Zolf's priority is the info to save the world while Cel is more narrowly focused on taking out the threat to their village. 

Final bets on whether: 1) the timelines are simultaneous 2) its the same room 3) who(or what) is in the chair ~Hamid time~ Another stealth check and I think Alex rolled something secret. I love these nerds, I don't think they even noticed they slipped into the more precise language of math to describe the place, always makes me feel trusted when people don't hide that kind of thing. Bulk head doors are a good sign. Alex might be trying to build up to it but Bryn wants to get a description of the figure in the chair as badly as we do if not more. Full blank-masked male, cables from the chair to the organ. Ben, sweetie, we aren't going to shoot-first-ask-questions-later, or even take that as your serious suggestion moments after you reminded us Zolf is aiming for capture. "Could be another one of the dead bodies" Pardon me while I glitch on the idea that it being another member of the doomed party is the only thing that I can't recall being proposed over the last week. Am I forgetting or did Figgis actually come up as a suggestion but not that? Alex adds a ladder, to save Hamid one of his last spells "Tension, tension, tension" I can't parse how many of them are chanting but who ever that is, know I adore you. I should be vibrating from stress and instead I'm grinning like a fool. Thats my boy! Hamid's spell slots might be running scary low but his mind is sharp as ever, he remembers his potions! Oh dangerous game, but the extra time invisible as he gets closer sounds worth it. Picked up a few things from Sasha. "Think" Alex is actively trolling. The lights are bad? You choose to do that, Alex, put away the "victim of circumstances" tone. Oh the organ! I needed a better description of that. Lydia might be the only one who loves this description more than me. A pipe organ that makes potions instead of music? Bryn has heard of one where each key is an alchemical symbol. I might need to hunt down art for that if its a known pathfinder thing. Hamid recognizes it but is the wrong school to understand this, both by training as a wizard and as sorcerer. The pipes are actually full of various fluids and powders. Yes Cel needs to see this. Thank you Helen! How much money has he spent on this? Where is he getting the money? I need that clipped! (tension chant evolved) Oh hell of a bet Hamid Sasha would be proud. The table is so proud of him. FTR I think that was Ben not Bryn saying "I stroke his cheek", because Bryn wouldn't risk Alex making that joke canon and using it to hurt Hamid. (naturally there was such no risk if Ben made that joke) Cable to the back of the neck, in clerical robes (crap I remember a “Shoin the healer painting”(?) but I thought he was an alchemist? Is this an assistant? Mini boss? Or is he multi classing), a party mask? Back to that theme. Its a prop corpse and its not the same room, I'm going to scream. Hamid don't you dare! Dollars to donuts its going to stand up and be some kind of creepy corpse robot Hamid waves Skraak in Speaker time, Shoin sounds worse maybe off script. ~~party time~~ Oh Cel has to lose most of the beast voice. Never mind! Smaller pencils acquired! I love this description even better the second time around. Oh bless Lydia for giving the fuller description. 55 HP! 14 Con! Comfort beard. Ooh Azu has a potion to make her even further stronger than Zolf. (iirc she had 1 point over him already) Yes he is in fact lawful evil and no he doesn't ever let them rest. Wise Cel/Lydia! I love Azu's auras! Aura of courage sounds especially useful. Yes yes Azu is good, brave, and resolute. Oh poor Zolf can't prep without either sleep or knowing for sure the fight is coming. Cel actually has 59 HP thank goodness! Another hall? Its circling the dome Hamid is in. It better be the same dome! I feel a bit like I'm betraying the party to enjoy the set design when the set is designed to kill them. They go as fast as they can while checking for traps. I refuse to parse that any other way. Oh poor Alex, we appreciate the set design even if the characters don't. Next door has a porthole to look through. Bless Helen/Azu for reminding them to check for traps. Cel can still disable it! It was a hand buzzer? Oh, to waste spells. Missed an in laid wood image of Shoin as a saint. This guy has too much ego and money. Anyone else thinking of that old joke where a guy has to become a monk to be allowed to find out what is behind a ridiculous number of doors and the punchline is you have to become a monk to find out what he saw? Ok it is a good thing its not the right door ~Hamid time~

Alex you troll! I refuse to concede we needed something to bleed to the stress levels. Shoin’s voice officially probably not a pre recording. I love Hamid! Hangs a handkerchief over the corpse's eyes. Poseidon? Couldn't be any god other than Zolf's ex? Ok doesn't seem in good enough shape to be a necrobot, but the organ might change that. Metal chairs sized for the party bolted to floor. I think Hamid is officially having fun not following Shoin's suggestion to sit at the table. Look at the leader in him collecting the paperwork Official connection between blue veins and the simulacrum! Also a spot for the power source Liliana was working on? Red string joke! ~break~ He Acid Blasts a speaker and it pisses Shoin off. Yeah "young man" was exact wrong thing to try. Were you trying to hit his daddy issues? I love one troll and 1 Kobold! Minion this! If Hamid speaks up? Shoin’s sense are fallible, might come up later Hamid is the best! Might die of being the best, but if he has to go its fingers up. Halfling, Dragon and troll, not a damn inch of leverage except what he gets Shoin to give him by refusing to follow orders. Pretending to attempt to comply is so much more frustrating (and better listening) than if he simply went "shan't". The party comes in! A swear! Not really another way to put it. The corpse explodes! Is Shoin the organ itself? A hug! A Cel & Hamid hug! Zolf backs Hamid's play, and  joins in Shoin baiting. Hamid hugs Azu and Zolf! Finally a proper Zolf hug! Cel finally gets to check out the organ. It prioritizes looks over efficiency and isn't just a potion maker. Some of it goes over Cel's head. Cel blocks the outlet. Lydia still thinks slightly sideways like me, and I love it. The cylinders are near boiling. Hamid orders Skraak to safety! Cel tries to hug Skraak, but Skraak doesn't recognize them. Poor brave little guy tried to attack before they can explain. Cel takes chatty!Skraak well and they have another little bonding growl exchange. They get ready to skip Shoin's game and go to the next room. Bad sounds. Fist sized drops of luminous green liquid from the top of the room that don't act right. Zolf attempts open the door to the next room, Hamid sprints towards it. Thank goodness someone wants to live. Natural 1? But its initiative, so that shouldn't hurt too badly right? Right? No effect thank goodness Homing blobs? I am torn exactly between that being cool and not something I want the party to deal with. How many fire balls does Hamid have left? I think Cel is out of bombs, and if we remember nothing else from Kew its that swarms require explosions. Zolf! Its the big brother of the buzzer door and is locked to boot. Azu attacks the goo nearest Zolf. Helen is too wound up to remember how to roll. Bryn and Ben couch her through it in that RQ way. Cleave! More blobs and the existing ones move towards people. Magic missile! 4 pews! 2 at the nearest to him, 2 at the one nearest Cel. I'd say squishy solidarity but Cel is pretty tough for once. Cel shoots the nearest 3? Then flies up 10 feet up and towards Skraak. Zolf blesses the party! Fair Alex! Not everything has to have a mechanical effect. Azu attacks again. It explodes, if Azu hits it it will die.  At least one person should be safe. Skraak! He froze! Worth a shot Ben You'll see? It tries to blob Skraak and isn't big enough to hurt them. Is Skraak safe from collateral damage? Hamid and Cel both protect Skraak. Hamid tells Skraak to use his spear, Skraak runs instead. Thank god he might not die trying to be a hero. Something drains into the pipe organ and the pipe organ attacks! OMG it is a 50ft tall brain soup drinking electric monster! Yes Ben! Perfect! Shoin Mr Ceiling-ed himself theory has player buy in! Bye! Also I will eat my hat if the drop blobs aren't able to merge into something more dangerous.

[masterthespianduchovny]

Reading, Love, and Time

When I first read the Harry Potter series, I was 8. It was 1999 and I was sitting in the third row of my mom’s Blue-is purple van. I remembered my mom giving me the first three books and saying, “Here, Z, read these. They’re going to be really popular.” So, I cracked opened the first book as we sat in the mall parking lot and read “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”

Instantly, I was hooked and eagerly waited for the next books the following years. Whenever they were first made available at the library or, when it was my turn to check out the book, I did and devoured the pages in days. I literally would read for hours.

Since we didn’t have cable and my mom really didn’t have money to treat us often, I can’t recall when I saw the movies and I don’t think I’ve seen them all. But, before I did, guess who my favorite character was?

Snape.

In 8th grade, I remember arguing with a guy I had a huge (one sided) crush on about how Snape was really helping Dumbledore and betraying Voldemort. He said Dumbledore was a fool and Snape was evil. Years later, after I got over my crush, I sat in his car as he drove me around our city since I was locked out of my house and brought up the fact that I was right about Snape. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, but I continued to victoriously grin.

Here’s the thing: Snape was my favorite character before the movies even came out. Did Alan heighten my love of Snape? Sure. But, me, like many others, loved his character based off of what Rowling wrote--we didn’t suddenly love him because of how Alan portrayed, which again, I love despite Book!Snape being different from Movie!Snape.

I can’t speak for others, but you wanna know why I was drawn to Snape?

His complexities. His disdain and annoyance with the Golden Trio, but saving their lives. His bitter and unforgiving childhood, teenaged years, and later life, yet selflessly saving others without yearning for acknowledging. Fucking up BIG TIME, owning that shit, respecting that person’s wishes to stay away, and then trying to save them despite their distance. THEN, spending the rest of his life trying to atone for what he did as well as uphold the memory of said person.

I’m imperfect, okay--I know this. But, after Snape saved Harry’s life at the end of the first book, I kept my eye on him. Not because I was suspicious of him being evil, but rather, I knew he wasn’t just a mean, bitter teacher who was a double agent, but really a DE.

No, it’s because he was a mean, bitter teacher who was a former DE, was a double (or quadruple) agent for Dumbledore who trusted to him without a doubt. The two also seemed to have a close relationship as well. Over the years, my feelings about Dumbledore have evolved, but that understanding of his character based off of saving Harry’s life and his relationship with Dumbledore is why I scoff at the notion of “the redemption arc came out of nowhere.”

IT DID NOT.

He was a former DEATH EATER.

He was a DOUBLE AGENT.

He LOOKED OUT and TRAINED (briefly) Harry.

How can a man who is a double agent for the side of ‘Light’ redemption arc come OUT OF NOWHERE?

HOW???

Did y’all expect him to be evil all along?

Make it make sense.

And I need for y’all to explain what “out of nowhere” means in your dictionary. Because there is a difference between that and say...poor execution.

Snape is the most complex character in the book and worked behind the scenes for many of the things that went on--and, at times, the forefront. How can someone who helped set the prophecy in motion, switched sides to try and save the Potter family, Constantly SAVE Harry, work as a double agent for almost TWO decades, save people he literally didn’t have to save, among countless other shit get a redemption arc out of nowhere?

This is why people ask if y’all’ve read the book.

You may not like it.

You may think it was poorly executed.

You may have wanted thing to go differently.

But, his redemption arc was far from coming out of nowhere.

Him loving Lily, him devoting his existence to keeping Harry alive for her doesn’t mean his redemption arc started then and there. It explained the mystery behind Snape--it explained his motivations.

Rowling wanted Snape to be misunderstood so that we would be shocked by the reveal like Dumbledore, but I don’t think she planned for people to hate Snape that much to either fundamentally misunderstand or mischaracterize his motives.

But, the ‘Always’ moment showed many things” 1. Just because someone dies doesn’t mean your love for them dies as well. 2. His love for her was pure, which was he was able to produce a patronous. 3. Both Dumbledore and Voldemort fundamentally misunderstood Snape’s love for Lily. Voldemort has an excuse since he can’t feel love, but Dumbledore...

TBH, I’m not exactly sure why or how Dumbledore thought Snape was still devoted to the cause because I don’t think he believed Snape was doing it for altruistic reasons after a while. I just don’t know (someone could refresh me on this). But, basically, you have two incredibly powerful wizards caught up in their own shit not understanding what they’re putting their spy through and thinking that this woman he cared about was either just some girl he wanted to fuck OR a teenaged crush.

And Snape set this shit real clear with Dumbledore. Naw, it wasn't enough to say it, he showed it with a motherfuckin doe!

This went on way longer than anticipated, but I’ll share another thing:

I’m now 27 and when I was 6 or 7, I had a best friend named Jimmy. We lost contact because I moved. I can’t tell you when we first became friends, but we were as thick as thieves back then. And he was around the age when boys called girls icky and gross--he’d said it himself. But, I remembered him looking at me and saying, “not you, Z....”

Like, you don’t know how much that meant to me back then, especially as a girl around boys always telling me what I could and couldn’t do. Boys who were mean because I was a girl. But, Jimmy...nah. I was his best friend and, because of that, I wasn’t icky or gross.

And guess what? I still think about him from time to time. Every few years, I search for him on FB and I’m always saddened when I can’t find him.

So, think about how my best friend from when I was 6 or 7 who told me I wasn’t icky still sticks with me to this day to an abused boy who literally had one friend who gave a damn about him. And their fictional friendship was way longer than mine with Jimmy. Snape literally only had her--it’s unfathomable to me to expect whatever love and care Snape had for Lily to die with her. Or even over time.

As the saying goes, “Someone will start a fire in you that cannot die.”