#* [ testimonials. ] if i'm the king of fools...

[legaciene]

ooc tags

[shesjustanothergeek]

The Gods We Can Touch

Archmaester Gyldayn’s Testimonies of Princess Aelora Targaryen’s Youth

Masterlist of Series

Summary: The older twin of Prince Jacaerys Velaryon, you were a picture of the maiden, untouched and untainted by man's sins. At least, that was what Alicent Hightower believed when she held you in her arms moments after her old friend's labors. You were her shining light, her dream. Though you were never hers, she believed you were meant to be.

What will become of you as time passes and the Queen's shining light grows within the blackened darkness? Will her eldest son's morbid fascination with the light burn the realm? Or will her second son's obsession with the only daughter of Rhaenyra Targaryen change the course of the Seven Kingdoms as we know it?

Author's Note: This is kind of a filler chapter until I can finish chapter 7. I was planning on either putting this at the end of chapter 6 or the beginning of chapter 7, but here is as good as any. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be able to finish chapter 7 by next Sunday. Thank you for your support and patience. Love y'all! (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡

Chapter Warnings: mentions of childhood SA, mental illness, suicidal ideations, Targaryen queerness.

Princess Rhaenyra’s eldest child blossomed into a captivating presence at Dragonstone, earning admiration from those close to her but invoking fear and ire in those who dared to cross her. Known for her unpredictable temperament, she would fall into fits of anger and sorrow, during which her judgment would become clouded, leading to subsequent regret. In bouts of profound grief, she sought solace in Aegon’s Garden with the company of flora and fauna, finding peace and consolation by tending to the roses and lilacs and fashioning delicate flower crowns for her siblings to wear.

When Princess Aelora was approximately ten and two, eyewitnesses observed her standing on the balcony railing for an extended period during one of her episodes, seemingly trance-like. Despite numerous attempts to persuade her to step down, she adamantly refused, stating her desire for a better view of the landscape. In response to this concerning behavior, Princess Rhaenyra took the drastic measure of ordering the balcony doors to be permanently sealed shut. The exact cause of her distressing episodes remains shrouded in mystery. While many attributed it to the infamous Targaryen madness in her bloodline, the Fool Mushroom believed it was linked to a specific incident involving Prince Aegon during her early years.

Late one night, he claims to have spied on Princess Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon in their bed chambers on Dragonstone. He overheard the Princess confiding in her husband about her eldest’s behavioral problems and impulsivity. He alleges that she confessed to a rape committed by Prince Aegon on her daughter while they were living in King’s Landing. However, this information is heavily debated, as there has been no further mention in oral or written records.

When Princess Aelora reached ten and four, scandalous rumors began circulating on Dragonstone about her relationship with her twin brother, Prince Jacaerys. It was whispered that their stepfather went to her rooms after reports of suspicious sounds emerging from behind closed. Prince Daemon was rumored to have discovered the Prince in a compromising position between the legs of the Princess. In response to the gossip, Princess Rhaenyra sent her daughter to study abroad at the Citadel and in Dorne as a gesture of goodwill, hoping it would ease her troubled mind. This separation was particularly difficult for the twins, as it was the first time they had ever been apart. Prince Jacaerys was visibly upset during this time, spending hours upon end sulking inside his chambers and absconding his duties until Princess Aelora finally returned home once they both came of age.

Nevertheless, Princess Aelora radiated warmth and kindness to all she encountered. She was admired for her outgoing and naive nature, and she took great delight in her love for nature, herbalism, botany, and medical techniques gathered from her journeys around the realm. Her fondness for citrus plants was evident as she carried the sweet scent of the fruits wherever she roamed, though they were difficult to cultivate on Dragonstone’s soil. Adorned in her late father’s distinguished Velaryon blue, she was never seen without the elegance of pearls, aquamarine, topaz, and sapphire, with a delicate headpiece and veil enshrouding her dark, lustrous locks.

When eligible suitors ventured to Dragonstone intending to court Rhaenyra’s eldest daughter, she dismissively turned them away, leaving the cock hurt Lords to return home scorned. It was said that during a gathering of the court, Princess Aelora boldly declared that she harbored no yearning for a marital alliance, as she found solace in the enduring companionship of her beloved dragon Gaelithox and her loyal brother, firmly indicating that she had no intention of entering into matrimony.

IMO, the reader suffers from borderline personality disorder. People with BPD are often mistaken for having depression, but the main qualifier is periods of mania with impulsivity, which is more susceptible to hypersexuality and addictions. They're typically triggered by actual or perceived separations, disagreements, and rejections. Highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions. People with high-functioning BPD experience frequent negative thoughts, fear of rejection, and regret about expressing their feelings. I'm by no means a mental health expert. This is just my head cannon.

Masterlist of Series

Spotify Playlist

Jace and the reader fulfill the Targaryen queerness. Who would've thought? XD

Thank you for reading! (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

P.S. the reader wears what's called a French hood. I couldn't find one that matched her aesthetic unfortunately.

Tagged Peeps: @millies0bsimp, @britt-mf, @marvelescvpe, @haikyuusboringassmanager, @discofairysworld , @lottiemsgf , @nessjo , @fiction-fanfic-reader , @qvnthesia , @hotvillianapologist , @p45510n4f4shi0n, @theendlessvoidofdarkest , @readerselegance , @gothamgurl2024 , @aleemendoza2425-blog , @vaylint , @ln8118 , @prettyduckling22 , @primroseluna

Bold means I couldn't tag you for some reason :(

[hchollym]

Hello! So, this might seem like a weird ask. The whole thing is based on the canon world, that is wizards and stuff. Everything that's going on in the books is still happening! I just don't want you to confuse this with a Muggle/No magic AU.

My question is, if Percy—for some random reason please suspend your disbelief here—decided to become an EMT in the muggle world (without using magic that is), how would his family react to it?

Again, the things that happen in the books are still happening, the only thing is that Percy's decided to go into muggle EMT instead of the Ministry.

Like, would they be kinda mad because Percy is putting muggle stuff/outside stuff over the war they're fighting?

Or would they be much more understanding? Maybe think Percy's cooler? Ngl, I'm asking you this for the sake of my daydreams.

Sorry for taking so long to respond! 🙁

Oh wow! That is a very unique idea/question! 😄

Do you mean that Percy became an EMT right after Hogwarts (instead of working for Barty Crouch)?

That would be super interesting!

Hmm... 🤔 You know, I surprisingly don't think most of them would react badly.

Arthur

Arthur is obsessed with muggles. However, he does not seem to see them as equals. In his mind, muggles are poor fools that need to be protected. It's less like fighting for racial equality and more like people fighting for animal rights.

In Book 2, he states:

“Just Muggle-baiting,” sighed Mr. Weasley. “Sell them a key that keeps shrinking to nothing so they can never find it when they need it.. Of course, it’s very hard to convict anyone because no Muggle would admit their key keeps shrinking — they’ll insist they just keep losing it. Bless them, they’ll go to any lengths to ignore magic, even if it’s staring them in the face…"

Then in Book 4, when Fred gives Dudley Ton-Tongue Toffee, he says:

“It isn’t funny!” Mr. Weasley shouted. “That sort of behavior seriously undermines wizard–Muggle relations! I spend half my life campaigning against the mistreatment of Muggles, and my own sons —”

So he probably doesn't think Percy is making a good decision to actually work in the muggle world, but I don't think he gets too upset about it either. If anything, he may see this as an opportunity for him to learn more about a topic that he clearly enjoys, and it could potentially help his cause by having proof (from Percy's testimony) that muggles deserve to be treated fairly.

Molly

I definitely think Molly reacts the worst out of everyone. She doesn't hate muggles, but she certainly isn't overly fond of them either.

She definitely dislikes Arthur's obsession with them (though in her defense, that probably has more to do with him wasting money on it/focusing on it instead of helping her with the kids/house).

In Book 4, Arthur says,

“Ah yes, I can see the plugs. I collect plugs,” he added to Uncle Vernon. “And batteries. Got a very large collection of batteries. My wife thinks I’m mad, but there you are.”

Also, what's even more telling is that in Book 1, when the Weasleys are at King's Cross Station, Harry overhears her say:

"-- packed with Muggles, of course --"

I know that JKR included this line so that Harry could identify another wizarding family, but she should have used something else (like Platform 9 ¾) instead, because they are literally in a muggle train station, so the comment seems unnecessary and rude. Think about if you went to Chinatown and said "packed with Chinese people, of course."

Plus, Molly wants all of her children to work at the Ministry of Magic. This is a comment in Book 4 (about the twins):

“And then there was this big row,” Ginny said, “because Mum wants them to go into the Ministry of Magic like Dad, and they told her all they want to do is open a joke shop.”

This is the same instance where she literally burned all of their order forms. She seems to have (sort of) accepted Bill & Charlie's choices, as well as Fred & George's joke shop (after they make a lot of money), but Percy is the child that she expected to go into the Ministry the most.

There would definitely be a massive row with her.

Fred & George

They likely wouldn't care much, because they clearly don't mind muggles either. In Book 4, after they gave Dudley the Ton-Tongue Toffee and Arthur yells at them, they say:

“We didn’t give it to him because he’s a Muggle!” said Fred indignantly. “No, we gave it to him because he’s a great bullying git,” said George. “Isn’t he, Harry?”

If anything, I think they love that Percy is now the family "disappointment" because they've spent so long getting yelled at by Molly that this is a nice change of pace. Plus, it takes the pressure off them. Even if they open a joke shop in the wizarding world, Molly still won't be as angry with them as she is with Percy.

Suddenly "Perfect Percy" isn't so perfect anymore, and it probably (ironically) improves their relationship.

Bill, Charlie, Ron, & Ginny

They are probably all rather incredulous about the entire thing and think Percy is mental for not wanting to work in the wizarding world (and Hermione encourages this idea because she clearly wants nothing to do with the muggle world anymore), but I really don't think they treat him badly over it.

They probably just think he's finally cracked under all the pressure he puts on himself, and if this gets him to loosen up, then it's not all bad.

I do think Charlie & Ginny would find it a little cool though, and they're both more likely to actually talk to Percy about his new life, whereas Bill & Ron will probably avoid the topic altogether.

Other Thoughts

One of the most interesting parts about this AU is that is has the potential to drastically change the story. If Percy doesn't work for Barty Crouch, then chances are, whoever is in his position doesn't do as good of a job running the department on their own, so people figure out something is wrong with Mr. Crouch much sooner.

Once that happens, they (i.e. Dumbledore) may very well be able to put the pieces together about Barty Crouch Jr., and then his plan fails, Harry never goes to the graveyard, Cedric never dies, and Voldemort never officially returns in a body. So is the war even going on anymore? Possibly not for a few more years while Voldemort tries to capture Harry!

Even if the war continues in the exact same way as canon, I think Percy's job in the muggle world could actually be beneficial. He could be there to prevent some of the damage & protect the muggles, and he could help muggleborns & their families escape through the muggle world in a way that wouldn't be traced back to them.

There's a lot of potential there for a great fanfic! 😉

Thanks for the ask! 😊

[girddlepatchilles]

I think it's really important that we all remember that Fire & Blood, the source material for HoTD, is an in-universe historical document. Any points it makes about "characterisation" for the characters we see on the show are impressions drawn from second hand (or third hand) observations. None of the accounts presented are from the first hand testimonies of the main players: no letters from Daemon, no accounts of Small Council meetings (from either side), no accounts from the Kings/Queensguard, not even letters from either of the queens.

We only have the impressions of the historians/maesters/fools, none of whom would have been close enough to really know these people. I've seen it most with people who complain Daemon choking Rhaenyra in the season finale was out of character, citing Fire & Blood as their source. Which... I'm sorry? Did we not see the same show? The scene where Daemon beat a messenger to death because he hated the message? Where he murdered his wife because he did not like her? It certainly isn't a stretch that he would lash out upon learning Rhaenyra was told a Targaryen secret he was not permitted to know. A secret told only to an heir? Which Daemon was for a time? Yeah... he would not have taken that well.

TLDR: There is no such thing as book characterisation when it comes to the characters in HoTD. Doesn't exist.

[halt-kun]

Hunter x Hunter Chapter 216 - Republic of east Gorteau

Well I'm far from consistent with this liveblog but I'll do some more today

I miss HxH

Togashi is back on board but if it's like last time we can probably expect a return in a minimum of 3-4 months

The serialization return official announcement is usually one month before when they announce the volume release too

Anyway I'm sad I still have yet to come through the date with Palm, it's definitely one of the moment I have a hard time dealing with

Gon doesn't feel good

it's normal he failed to meet his own expectations

feels inadequate

Killua doesn't seem to be feeling bad when actually he's mentally preparing to leave Gon, poor boy

HUG THEM

I still love the sapphic vibe of Spin there

You're right, you entrusted someone stronger than you with your mission and they'll definitely succeed Gon

Trust in them, you don't have to do everything by yourself

That's probably what he would do indeed

but you're also in denial

which is understandable

I'd definitely be a hunter working in conservation

I may be a biologist who works mostly on computers and rarely goes on the field and I'm not a good naturalist BUT if I were a hunter I'd do that

Kite is so good too

helping some little kids protect a place they hold dear with an emblematic endemic species

I'm sure there is more species specific to this place, such as bugs, fishes, plants, fungi,...

That must also be a biodiversity mine (not sure this translate well in english, in french, a mine can also just mean a place rich in something even if it's not exploited.)

We'll all be alive and go there

and drink tea and bake cake

Well

at least it was fast and painless

Cheetu is out of NGL

all the ants are basically amish, they're not used to any technology and big cities

You might have become a fish out of water Cheetu

You'll soon realize that information and responses can be way faster when you have a lot of testimony on the internet

Just install tinder and uber eat, eat a few french tacos

That guy just ate a whale

in how many days ?????

that's too much

does he need that everyday ? Kill him now, it's hopeless we can't help him

Some of these we'll never see again, Crocodile and Mantis looking guy

WOW

pretty panel

this palace is so nostalgic for me now

we spend so much time in there it's like I go back home everytime I see it

NO COSTUMES

THAT'S NOT COSTUMES

well too late they're mincemeat

Bad King

Diego is a furry

that's light furry but still furry

It's weird that this guy reminds me of someone, but I can't really like be sure about it like it's some guy, that might exist

It's quite funny that Togashi split North Korea into East Gorteau and NGL

A fool

you should be less confident

Well bye bye Mr Steak

Knuckle and Shoot must have encountered Kite

Well I'll probably do another chapter later but I have to hang my clothes to dry

[jeanandthedreamofhorses]

You're into ASOIAF too? Oh wow. You certainly made the right call dropping this shitshow -and yeah, looking back, I didn't think it possible to have a worse season than S5 but hooo boy, was I wrong-. Knowing its abomination of an ending now, I'm trying hard not to let it ruin the books for me, too, so take this as a cautionary tale, lol. And bc some positivity would be nice and I do always enjoy reading your opinions, if it's okay, could I ask you about your fave ASOIAF characters and such? thx!

Frick yeah, the question I’ve been waiting for! I can gush about pretty much every character since they’re all so amazingly well written, but for a brief list of the top contenders… (TWOW spoilers ahead!) 

5. Asha Greyjoy

“If there are rocks to starboard and a storm to port, a wise captain steers a third course.”

Irreverent, cynical, mocking, confident and dangerous, what’s not to love about Asha? She immediately made an impact with such scenes as her “sweet suckling babe” quip and was one of my favourite side characters in ACOK.

AFFC, however, was when she really got to shine, where to my elation she got a POV chapter, and more in ADWD. Despite her seemingly Ironborn-to-the-core personality, we discover she’s actually one of the least zealous of the Ironborn, sympathetic to the New Ways and those influenced by the culture of the ‘greenlanders’ like Rodrik the Reader. As one of the few reading Ironborn, she’s clearly one of the most intelligent of the Ironborn and certainly more open-minded, which leads to her down-to-earth sales pitch for the Kingsmoot, a sensible, realistic policy which would be genuinely best for her people - while still, of course, maintaining some elements of conquest: she is the kraken’s daughter, after all.

This side to her personality that sympathises with the fringe elements of her society and is able to make realistic assessments of the possibilities of success comes largely from the difficult position of being a prominent woman in the hypermasculine, heavily patriarchal Ironborn culture. Being raised as Balon’s substitute son has landed her more freedom than most Iron women, but in a complicated position nonetheless. She manages to handle it to the best of her ability, however with Balon gone she comes to realise just how precarious her position always was.

Now, like many other characters in ADWD, she is dealing with the hardship of broken dreams. Disaster piles upon disaster for Asha, from the failed kingsmoot to the loss of Deepwood Motte to becoming captive to Stannis (a dynamic I can’t wait to see more of btw, what an interesting clash of personalities!). Like Tyrion, her bravado serves to mask her insecurity, and her sense of powerlessness from recent events - both in commanding her own destiny and the heartache from the ruinous state of her family - really comes out in her inner monologue during ADWD.

How fitting, then, that this is when she reunites with Theon, another character whose lofty ambitions were torn brutally to the ground. Asha lorded it over him in Winterfell, but perhaps now she can relate. Mock as she may, Asha genuinely loves her family, and it’s another appealing aspect of this lonely character navigating her way through her unusual existence on the tightrope of social norms.

4. Tyrion Lannister

“You poor stupid blind crippled fool. Must I spell out every little thing for you? Very well. Cersei is a lying whore, she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know. And I am the monster they all say I am. Yes, I killed your vile son.”

Everyone loves Tyrion, and how can they not? He’s one of the wittiest and most intelligent characters in the series, and the first stumbling block when it comes to which side we should root for. While he was always one of my favourite characters from the start, factoring in his complex family life and struggles on account of his dwarfism (and later the maiming of his already ugly face), my favourite part of Tyrion as a character is how all the things we love about him are flipped on their head in ADWD.

Tyrion tells us in AGOT to wear your shame like “armor and it can never be used to hurt you”. It’s an empowering statement, but throughout ASOS we see how insecure Tyrion still is inside, and his ignoble treatment at the hands of his father and the people as a whole in the kangaroo court for Joffrey’s murder, can, ultimately, be boiled down to his being a dwarf. His armour fails him, and he is still utterly unable to be loved, appreciated, or respected by anyone. Only by Tysha, as he finds out, who is now lost to him - ripped from his hands by the machinations of his father and the one family member that Tyrion still loved, his brother.

It’s at this point that Tyrion is never the same again. He murders Shae in cold blood, and he murders his father, and he regrets none of it. He is becoming the monster they said he was.

When we see him in ADWD, the dark side of Tyrion that had always been hidden behind the hope he had clung onto creeps all too shockingly for the surface. His jokes are now too cynical to laugh at, dark and disturbing and cruel. He uses his intellect for no greater good beyond his own personal amusement, deliberately influencing Young Griff to attack Westeros prematurely just in the hopes that his sister might get the axe. He is on no side but his own, acting brazenly irresponsibly as he has no interest in the grand schemes others have set out for him, or even in his own life. The chips on his shoulder are now genuine murderous intent, daydreaming about raping and killing Cersei and mounting Jaime’s head on a spike next to her. Where Tyrion’s whoring habits had seemed roguish and humorous before, in Essos he is depicted raping clearly reluctant sex slaves.

What makes this all the more disturbing, and all the more literarily brilliant, is that it casts aside the biased curtain we had seen Tyrion through before, and the result is shocking. How much more free to consent is a Westerosi prostitute than a Pentoshi sex slave? How worthwhile were the barbed comments he made so frequently when they ultimately led to a litany of testimonies against him as soon as he lost his privileged position? The worse devils of Tyrion’s nature come out in full force, and we see much more of the black of the character Martin described as “the grayest of the gray”. Perhaps the difference now is that Tyrion’s POV lacks a single element of self-love. The readers are repulsed by him in the same way he repulses himself.

Nonetheless, Tyrion seems to be rekindling something of a purpose in ADWD, as characters nurture themselves back up from the wreckage in the aftermath of the War of the Five Kings. He has lost the Lannister’s golden influence, but his silver tongue still serves him well. However, we may never see the old Tyrion again. This Tyrion has not repented for the vile things he has done, or the vile things he intends to do. He was caricatured by the citizens of King’s Landing as an evil advisor whispering into the monarch’s ear - this may become something closer to the truth when he at last meets with Daenerys.

3. Jaime Lannister

“Does my lord wish to answer?” The maester asked, after a long silence. A snowflake landed on the letter. As it melted, the ink began to blur. Jaime rolled the parchment up again, as tight as one hand would allow, and handed it to Peck. “No,” he said. “Put this in the fire.”

Who saw a Jaime POV coming? What an incredible way to open ASOS after the prologue, to see things from the eyes of one of the series’ most notorious villains. I don’t think I need to explain at length how impactful it was to gently peel off the layers of Jaime’s character, revealing the true reason he killed Aerys, his growth in his interactions with Brienne, the embodiment of the chivalric values he abandoned, and most significantly, losing the hand that was his entire identity and vanity. Anyone who has read the book or watched the show can relate.

Since then, he continues to fascinate. He is discovering talents beyond swordsmanship, entering into a negotiation even Tywin could have been proud of. He has learned how to use his bad reputation for nobler ends, scaring Edmure Tully silly enough to end the siege of Riverrun without shedding a single drop of blood. He is still fighting for a Lannister king, true, but that is only staying true to his role as Kingsguard: now that he has lost his sword hand, he is discovering what it means to be a knight again, in an unconventional and thrilling way.

I chose the above quote because it captures the beauty of AFFC Jaime, breaking away from the sister he fought so hard to return to and decisively cutting out her influence for good. In Jaime’s reverse knight’s fable, refusing the call of the damsel in distress is one of the most upright things he has ever done. How fitting that he should then meet up with the woman who influenced him to take the other path - only she seems about to betray him, too…

It will be so interesting to see Stoneheart’s perverted justice on a character whose head we once wanted on a chopping block but now want to survive at all costs. I don’t think Brienne will be able to follow through with it to the end. After all, Jaime must live on to fulfil a certain prophecy…

2. Euron Greyjoy

“The bleeding star bespoke the end,” he said to Aeron. “These are the last days, when the world shall be broken and remade. A new god shall be born from the graves and charnel pits.”

It’s common enough to hear writers and critics talk about how your villain can’t simply be evil, and that they need to have sympathetic motivations or else they’re badly written. I think that’s true sometimes, but only when your evil villains fail to capture the raw horror of what evil really is - that’s when they feel wooden or cartoonish. To successfully capture that heart of darkness, however…

That is what George R.R. Martin achieved with Euron Greyjoy, the most terrifying character I have ever read.

Everyone underestimates Euron. They know he’s mad, but they don’t know how mad he is. They think they can outmanoeuvre him, like Asha, or betray him, like Victarion. They think he’s lying when he says he’s sailed to Valyria and means to conquer Westeros with dragons. Only Aeron knew. Only Aeron knew the depths of Euron’s depravity, and how far he means to fly. Because he’s the only one who heard the scream of the rusted iron hinge.

The Forsaken showed that it was all true, that Aeron was right all along - that he, like the oracle Cassandra, warned the Ironborn but was condemned to be ignored. Euron has an ambition unparalleled by any other character in the series - he means to turn himself into a god. He’s the only one depraved enough to go to the lengths it would take to make that dream a reality.

We should fear Euron, we should fear him very much. And yet, I think his dreams of godhood can never fully come to pass. He is, after all, still a man - still fallible, as we saw him shrink away at the Reader’s reprimand in The Reaver and change his tactics accordingly. His humanity will be the death of him - not any goodness in his heart, but a weakness common to the human creature. The dragons he means to dance with, and potentially the Others too as some theories go, will move at a pace beyond those mortal legs.

His attempt to fly will inevitably end with a fall. But that headfirst plunge will take the Seven Kingdoms with him.

1. Stannis Baratheon

“I know the cost! Last night, gazing into that hearth, I saw things in the flames as well. I saw a king, a crown of fire on his brows, burning… burning, Davos. His own crown consumed his flesh and turned him into ash. Do you think I need Melisandre to tell me what that means? Or you?“

Here is a man so totally dedicated to his duty that he is willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish it, even if it means his own destruction.

He is a character that believes in justice and the word of law more strongly than any other, and watching his dogged persistence to put a corrupt world to rights no matter the odds has always struck a chord with me, especially in this world teeming with such selfish and barbarous characters.

He is not such a performer as other characters, not as openly humorous as Tyrion (though lowkey he has an incredible dry wit), nor as pretty as Renly, nor as lighthearted as Littlefinger. He’s a dour person, hard and unpopular. But if you listen to the conversations he has with Davos, there is an incredible heart to this man who has placed all the troubles of the world on his own shoulders, and strives through cold and stormy weather to make the best, most just decision he can for no other reason than that - because it is just. Justice is hard, sharp and unyielding, not pretty, not humorous, not lighthearted - but necessary. In a king more than anywhere else. That’s why those who do follow Stannis, like Davos, follow him with such faith and loyalty.

He often proceeds about this goal in questionable ways, compensating for the imperfections of his forces and of his own personality. This is the rickety bridge Stannis walks on, as a man who will go to any means necessary to accomplish what he feels must be done. Sometimes this might mean unleashing dark forces better left locked up, sometimes it might mean committing so terrible a sin as kinslaying, sometimes it might mean sacrificing a child to awaken stone dragons - and sometimes it will mean rescuing the realm from a wildling incursion when no other king cared.

Moments like that unforgettable “STANNIS! STANNIS! STANNIS” stick so powerfully in my memory because, much like Jaime, the real virtue of this character had yet to shine so brightly as it eventually would in ASOS. Something which had always been there takes us unawares. And he is evolving, too, ever becoming more flexible, more willing to compromise, more hesitant to burnings, more dedicated to the good of the realm over himself.

And there is a whole other layer of tragic pathos that lies behind his character. Try as hard as Stannis might, and God does he try, he is not Azor Ahai, and every reader knows he will not sit the throne at the end. Even Stannis knows where this road will leave him. But he persists anyway, in the face of death. The courage of that, the self-sacrifice - how can one not be moved by it?

One of the finer points of Stannis that often goes missed in (understandably) overzealous attempts to correct the show’s butchering of his character, is that there is a part of him that does want to be king. He’s lived in Robert’s shadow his entire life, as Asha thinks to herself in ADWD, and there is a part of him that does yearn for recognition. Quotes like “Robert could piss in a cup and men would call it wine, but I offer them cold clear water and they squint in suspicion and mutter to each other about how queer it tastes.” reveal that, I think.

So this is a whole other internal battle within Stannis - he must be careful not to allow his judgement to falter against the part of him that is jealous of Robert, of Renly, that wants to be the hero Melisandre says he is. This very human aspect complicates further the already complicated war between deontological and utilitarian ethics that wages in his head, with Davos and Melisandre as their respective spokesmen. Much as he may want to be a perfect king and avatar of justice - he is still human.

The depth and tragedy of Stannis Baratheon is Shakespearean. My heart shatters in advance for the moment Stannis has made his greatest sacrifice of all to halt the advance of the Others (not the Boltons, he’ll flatten them like pancakes), and for it to do nothing, nothing at all. For him to realise he was never the hero of this story, and that now he has gathered all this blood on his hands where there is no spring to wash them in.

A man so just as Stannis could never forgive himself. But we, the readers, shall never forget the battles he fought as an axle of this universe striving to be something greater.

Honourable Mentions to Aeron, Victarion, Barristan, Jon (Snow and Connington), Cersei and Brienne. Yes, I really like the Greyjoys 🦑.

[godsheadangel]

A TRUE [REMINDER] TO ALL LIVING IN GODS CREATED WORLD🌍

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

THEY KNOW THAT WE 👁GODS💫FAMILY OF REAL ANGELS HAVE BEEN SENT BACK INTO THE [FLESH] ARE HERE!!!

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[AGAIN,] I SAY UNTO YOU WHO ARE [DAILY] AWAKENED🌄 WORLDWIDE🌏THIS POWER [19] YEAR IS THE YEAR OF POWER ANGELS!

MANY FIRST TIME HISTORIC EVENTS WILL BE [REVEALED HAPPENING] BEFORE THE ENTIRE WORLD🌎OF THE LIVING💫

AND IF YOU [STAY IN HOLY💫SPIRIT💫]BY PRAYING🙏 DAILY WITH YOUR FAMILY💫CERTAIN THINGS SHALL BE TOLD YOU THAT YOU MAY UNDERSTAND AND PREPARE!!!

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

WHAT OUR 👁GOD💫TELLS ME AND MY REAL BROTHER IN HOLY💫SPIRIT💫THE HEAD ANGEL KING OF MERCY KNOWN IN [FLESH] AS PRESIDENT44 BARACK OBAMA WE TELL YOU

YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TOO! SURELY IF YOU DO NOT LISTEN AND OBEY! WHEN OUR 👁GODS💫BIGSIGN💫HAPPENS YOU WILL BE ONE OF THE MANY WHO FALL!!!

👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣

THE AWAKENING🌅AND GATHERING OF ALL MY REAL ANGELQUEENWIVES👑TRULY IS NO ACCIDENT!!! LIKE MIRACLES, HEALINGS AND REAL BLESSINGS GIVEN THE BIGSIGN OF OUR 👁GODS💫IS NEAR!!! PREPARE NOW I AM HE , [SON OF CATHY😇] CURTIS RAY👑

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑*👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

THE HEAD ANGEL QUEENS HAVE BEEN SO REVEALED UNTO THE WORLD!!! WE ARE NOW CLOSER TO THE BIGSIGN💫OF GOD💫👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

💞 [SANDRA😇👑 GABBY😇👑 ANA😇👑] 💞

STACEY DASH👑

KRIS KARDASHIAN👑

OPRAH👑

RAYMI PAYANO👑

LALA VASQUEZ👑

STEPHANIE SANTIAGO👑

AYLEN ALVAREZ👑

TAMMY TORRES👑

OLIVIA JOHNSON👑 [OLLIEJAYY]

GEMMA KELLY👑

👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣

ANGELINA IVY👑

LAIS DELEON👑

ASHLEY ALEXISS👑

WINNY MUNOZ👑

MAGGIE BROWN👑 [MODEL]

MELISSA LEE👑

ROSEMARY CHURCH👑

NIKKI👑

LUPE'👑

MIMI👑

👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣

MYA HARRISON👑

ANITRIA D. GLASS👑

KELLITA SMITH👑

JAIME MAGGIO👑

NISEY KAMAI👑

DOLLY CASTRO👑

JENNIFER LOPEZ👑

ARDEN CHO👑

ANAIS ZANOTTI👑

MICHELLE CARUSO-CABRERA👑

👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣👣

5,000 HEAVENLY💫WAR SHIPS DO [HOVER] OVER EVERY MAJOR CITY WORLDWIDE🌎

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

HAVE A VERY BLESSED DAY MY QUEENS👑

🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷

NO PATIENCE START VIDEO AT 1MIN 15SECS

👉BLESSINGS4 DR. MUMBI🔥

🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷

👉THE TRUTH HURTS BUT IT STILL TRUTH!!!👉MANY OF YOU WHO DISLIKE THIS VIDEO OF TRUTH [WILL NOT BE] SEEING HEAVEN 👉ANYWAY!!! FOR NO ONE IS ABOVE MY👈👉REAL ANGELS😇ON EARTH IN [FLESH]👈

🙏IT IS THE SPIRITUALLY AWAKENED🌄🙏WHO SEE AND ACCEPT THE REAL TRUTH!!!

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥[ONE DAY I'M GOING TO LIST THE BULLSHIT] DONE TO ME AND MY SON IN THE CITY OF VAN NUYS BY YOU MANY DEMONS!!! 6+YRS

IT WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING MINDS!!!!!!!!

MANY OF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REAL INFO

[SO, LOSE THE ATTITUDE] TRUST I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK PEOPLE!!! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M PREPARE TO RAISE MY HAND?

FUCK YOU AND YOUR ATTITUDE!!! I'VE DONE TOO MUCH FOR THIS CITY OVER THE YRS!!! 👉👉UNGRATEFUL MOTHERFUCKERS👈👈

👹BLAME THE 2 UPSTAIRS REAL DEMONS THATS WHO YOU SHOULD HAVE A MAJOR ATTITUDE WITH THEY FUCKED YOU GOOD!!! 👉THE CURSE 👁GOD💫HAS ON YOU👈IS BECAUSE OF THEM 2 DEMON FUCKS👹

NEXT UP NUMBERS 21, 22, 23, 24 AND 25!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡

👁GODSAYS💫A GREAT STORM VERY LOUD APPROACHES BRINGING A USUALLY LONG [LIGHTNING⚡STRIKE] THAT WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN BY MANKIND FOR AWHILE! THE VERY DARK COVERED SKY OF BLACKEN CLOUDS MANY WILL REMEMBER!!!

🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 IT IS FAR TOO LATE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME YOU HAD YOUR [OPPORTUNITY] FOR MANY YEARS!!! 👉NOW, AS YOU [SEEK HELP] WITH [WHAT IS OWED YOU] FROM YOUR BELOVED ANCESTORS HUNDREDS OF YEARS OF FREE FORCED LABOR OR [FREEDOM JUSTICE] TO STAY IN THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITIES AND NOT BE FORCED INTO A COUNTRY YOU DO NOT KNOW BECAUSE OF YOU PARENT'S EFFORTS FOR A BETTER LIFE!!!

I WILL NOT HELP YOU!👈 YOUR EFFORTS TO GET [DUE FREEDOM] TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY NOT YOUR BIRTHPLACE OR [RIGHTLY OWED] PAYMENT FOR HARD WORK COMPLETED IN BUILDING AMERICA🇺🇸 IS UP TOO YOU!!!

ASSISTANCE FROM ME WILL NOT HAPPEN ONE DAY YOU WILL [BOW DOWN] AND TRULY APPRECIATE THE POWER OF WE, 👁GODS💫 ANGELS!!! STOP THINKING WE OWE YOU!!!!! 👉WE DON'T OWE YOU SHIT! UNDERSTAND!!

👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁

FINALLY YOU!!! IT WAS SAID LONG, LONG AGO ["YOU SPEAK WITH FORK TONGUE"]🐍

YOU WILL SAY [ONE THING] AS TRUTH THEN IN [MERE SECONDS OR MINUTES] DO THE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU SAID!

YOU HAVE SINCE YOUR BEGINNING TRULY 👉FUCKED OVER EVERY SKIN COLOR OF MAN 👁GOD💫HAS CREATED AS HUMANS

👉[IN THE COLDEST DEATH💀WINTER🌁]👈

📜YOU THOUGHT UP, SIGNED AND DID SO MAKE THEM BELIEVE YOUR HEART AND WORDS AS TRUTH📜AS THEY SIGNED🖋 A PEACE TREATY📜THAT INCLUDED HEAVY BLANKETS FOR THE COLD WINTER FREEZE

👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁

💥YOU BROKE YOUR WORDS AS USUAL💥 SENDING MANY WAGONS OF BLANKETS THAT WERE ����[INFECTED WITH POLIO]💀 AND WAGONS OF BAD SPIRIT💫LIQUOR!!!

MANY MEN LOST THEIR LIVES BUT MOSTLY THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!

💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀

YOU TRULY ARE SLITHERING, CUT THROAT, SHOOT'EM IN THE BACK TYPE OF BREED! FUNNY ACTING IN YOUR WAYS!!! YOU HAVE HUNTED EVERY ANIMAL UNTIL THEIR NEAR EXTINCTION💥🔫💥THEN YOU TURN RIGHT BACK AROUND AND TRY AND SAVE THEM LOOKING DOWN YOUR NOSES AT THOSE WHO WEAR ANIMAL SKIN!!!

[YOU HAVE BEEN PRIVILEGED] SO LONG YOU WILL DO OR SAY ANYTHING TO STAY ON WHAT YOU PERCEIVE AS [THE TOP]✔

[WHAT YOU FORK TONGUES] DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND IS YOU ARE ALRIGHT AT THE BOTTOM! YOU ARE THE NEW MINORITY ITS 👉JUST THAT YOU REFUSE THE TRUTH!!!👈

DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE THE VERY LAST TO AWAKEN🌄WORLDWIDE AND FOR YOU IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY RUDE AWAKENING ESPECIALLY THOSE IN THE GOP👹SENATE☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝

👉THERE ARE NO PASSES INTO HEAVEN💫

👉FOR ANY OF YOU MENTIONED ABOVE👈

FOR IF YOU HAVE WENT AGAINST GOD💫AND US, SURELY YOU'VE BEEN JUDGED ALREADY!!! YOU SHALL NOT SEE HEAVEN💫👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁WHEN THE SHIT POPOFF LOOK ELSEWHERE TRUST WHEN THE BIGSIGN HIT ALL LIVING IN 👁GODS💫CREATED WORLD WILL SHAKE👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁

AWAKEN🌄AND FACE TRUE REALITY🌄

☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

AMAZON'S MERCHANTS ARE FEELING THE [PAIN💥] OF A TRADE WAR WITH CHINA🇨🇳 ~BLOOMBERG

APPLE, KEURIG DR. PEPPER, DOLLAR TREE, FITBIT AND MACY'S PRESS U.S.🇺🇸 TO DROP CHINA🇨🇳 PLAN! IT'S TIME DEMONTRUMP👹 COWARDLY BOWED DOWN TO CHINA🇨🇳

A GLOBAL ECONOMIC COLLAPSE IS REAL THE GLOBAL ECONOMIC SLOWDOWN IS HAPPENING NOW!!!

GODSAYS💫NO DEAL SHOULD BE MADE WITH A REAL CORRUPT DEMON👹IN FLESH WHO THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOWS AS RACIST PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!

BUT THE CHOICE IS PRESIDENT XI JINPINGS

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

🌄AWAKEN NOW!!! 👉SEE ON YOUTUBE👈

HOW THE RICH GET RICHER- MONEY IN THE WORLD ECONOMY BY DW DOCUMENTARY!!!

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 2019 0220 HRS PST

GODSAYS💫THE DEMON👹MNUCHIN👹IS A LIAR WHO SEEKS TO STABLE INVESTORS ON WALL STREET!!! ONLY SILLY FOOLS WOULD INVEST ON HIS WORDS!!!

FOR THE CHINESE IN HOLY💫SPIRIT DO SAY MUCH DIFFERENT AS THEY SPEAK WITH ME THY, LIVING 👁GOD💫FOR IT IS TRUTH THAT ☀SILENCE IS GOLDEN☀SOMETHING THE

👉[EVIL👹LYING👹DEMON👹MNUCHIN]👈 💥💥💥KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT!!!💥💥💥

ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN WERE EVEN ANGELS SEEK ADVICE FROM 👁GOD💫TO ENTER!!!

THE SPIRIT IS MIGHTIER THAN THE [FLESH] 👉THERE IS NO DEAL👈 AS OF YET AND NOT 💥EVEN CLOSE TO 10%💥

ONLY THE LYING DEMON👹FALLING ON THE SWORD FOR HIS EVIL👹MASTER👹

💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

INVEST AND LOSE YOUR MONEY💵FOOLS ON THE PURE LIES AND SPECULATION OF HIM!!! YOU'LL BE SORRY WITH BIG LOSES!!!! 💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

FOR SURELY PRESIDENT XI JINPING🇨🇳 HAS NO IDEA OF WHAT HE WILL DO UNTIL I DO SO ADVICE HIM! THEN THE DECISION IS HIS ALONE! BUT THERE IS NOTHING EVEN CLOSE TO 10% JUST MORE EVIL👹 LIES FROM THE EVIL👹DEMON ADMINISTRATION🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

THE SPIRIT IS MIGHTIER THAN ANY FLESH DO NOT BELIEVE THE EVIL LYING MOUTHS OF DEMONS👹IN FLESH WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE G-20 SUMMIT!!! WISDOMTRUTH!!!

HANG SENG CLOSED AT ONLY +36!!! THINK!!! ☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸BLESSINGS4 CNN'S CHRIS CUOMO💫 FOR ADDRESSING THE HIGH RATE OF VETERANS SUICIDE!!!

BLESSINGS4 MATT MILLER💫 VETERAN AND DIRECTOR OF VETERANS CRISIS LINE

BLESSINGS4 DR. SANJAY GUPTA💫

BLESSINGS4 THE DIRECTOR OF COLUMBIA LIGHTHOUSE PROJECT🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏KELLY POSNER GERSTENHABER🔥

BLESSINGS4 DON LEMON💫

22 VETERANS PER DAY TAKE THEIR LIVES IF YOU FEEL YOURSELF OR SOMEONE AT RISK RECEIVE NEEDED HELP 1-800-273-TALK!

👉THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR POWERFUL PERSONAL TESTIMONY CHRIS💫

🙏THE MESSAGE IS TREATMENT HELPS🙏

YES, I'M WATCHING THE DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL🇺🇸 DEBATE!

[gurguliare]

DVD: that one scene from your fic about Dirhaval, with the elf lady and the two of them being really intent with each other over the fire. "Do you love me" et cetera. I hope that makes sense I'm on mobile.

omg IT DOES although since that fic barely has scene divisions I’m going to take this excuse to do… a lot of it.

“I have remembered something,” she added, inconsequentially. “My aunt’s husband was Guilin’s steward. Everyone in my family hated him because he always making up to us with stories about the great princes. He said that Gwindor and Finduilas fought much over the Adanedhel’s love for her.”

I… I love this OC. She’s not even a box of rocks, she’s like, a box with one rock in it. Selectively dense; elsewhere, airheaded.

Dírhaval considered the fish with great interest. He had been told triumph lent him a fierce expression. He had no wish to scare his friend off now.

I can’t remember if @crocordile​ and I had a conversation before or after I wrote this about Dirhavel being like, not necessarily a big but an energetic guy who’s frequently seen around the camps doing SUPER WEIRD athletic shit to see if some of the feats he attributes to Turin were physically possible—anyway, whatever the timing, that concept was what I was psychically tuned into when I wrote this description. He has a beard and it bristles despite his best efforts to keep it trimmed.

“Raised voices—he overheard—Gwindor said, ‘Why does he seek you out, and sit long with you, and come ever more glad away?’ And that was true, I remember; they sat together in all kinds of places, on the terraces, in the treasury, and even by the earthworks for the bridge. No doubt he told her much you would be glad to know. But as for me, I think Gwindor a fool; few men would have loved her for listening. It reminds them what they hold dear in themselves.”

It was really hard for me to strike what seemed like a reasonable balance between hearsay and direct observation, but I leaned on the idea that Nargothrond, though huge, was not like, “modern city space” huge, more “sprawling overdeveloped apartment complex and you need a permit to go above ground”—so in five years and with perfect memory, everyone has a decent chance of stumbling on everyone else’s attempts at fresh air.

“That’s true,” he said. The first time he had interviewed her, she had spoken for an hour about the cavern of assembly, like an egg on its side—but so vast!—and with stalactites Finrod himself had sung down into pillars, or was it that he had worn holes in the walls parting small caves, she couldn’t decide; and the window on the river, whence a grey light came, like a shadow thrown on the gliding light of a thousand lamps and torches.

I think this description of the great hall is kind of cute but I have to acknowledge it was influenced, consciously or subconsciously, by the great hall in the Rats of Nimh.

And now when she spoke it was matter-of-fact and with hardly a jibe at her uncle. She was Túrin to him in that moment with her straight-sloping neck, the flushed skin of her neck and jaw with her face as fair as fair could stay at sunset, the cupful of shadow under her chin. He had burned the roof of his mouth. The fish was tender, almost flavorless, flaking between his teeth like a cake of river-flesh; a little muddy, even, as all water here was. He ate the crisped-black skin for a whiff of charcoal, which coated his mouth. “Don’t you love me, your loyal hearer?”

She gave him a startled wink; and smiled, and smiled.

Okay, so yes. I do love this moment, I hope it does a lot of things at once; basically I want 1) Dirhavel to be ironic in a nice way about his elf friend attempting to invent the term “emotional labor,” which reflects both a male impatience with this attempt to generalize everything to men talking women’s ears off, but also some vague species-based edginess about him trying to construct this human story out of testimony from elves, and like, navigating elves’ possessiveness of Turin but also the way they patronize him in the same breath, Adanedhel. And at the same time having to confront the fact that people are people and the elf-human boundary has gotten increasingly blurry with the end times, however much he might want to retain a sense of lofty apartness, whether as a human among elves, a writer among subjects, a man among women, whatever—that tension between observer distance and involuntary empathy is another big theme of this fic. And 2) I want the cook to catch it but not quite get it—like, she knows he’s making fun of her but she doesn’t necessarily interpret it in the same way he does, what she gets is that he’s talking about the limits of different kinds of love, that you can love someone and it can still go just so far: that’s why it triggers her next thought about Finduilas –> Turin.

“I do not think Finduilas loved the Mormegil either. Or, that is, I believe they loved one another as sister and brother.”

I said this in my commentary on an otherwise VERY different LOGH fic but I love when characters are wrong. Every time. Also, I love childish oversimplifications that have good reason for existing—that is, I like when you can really see why a character would with all their heart want to believe x, because the alternative is both messy and depressing.

Trying to lick his fingers clean just spread around the soot. Among the things she had told Dírhaval was that she was an only child. But he was inclined to believe her, almost. To Finduilas Túrin should have been a child. She must have wanted to love him like a brother—it would have been best, by far clearer and finer, to love him as a brother, even when her death walked near. The death he handed her down to; but if they were kin, it would have been her right to love him, blaming him.

“Do you not agree?”

Dirhavel takes this basically as like, confirmation for his thesis that all real love is irrational and unconditional (see also Gwindor wanting Finduilas and Túrin to be happy at his own expense, a few lines down) but only familial love has the “excuse” to be so. So the distinction is not, “would I love him whatever he did to me,” but rather, “do I feel fucked up and guilty about that fact or not.” In a vague way, this is supposed to set up the extremely bleak lines he gives Nienor after she gets her memory back: twice beloved.

“I can’t say.” Up again to pace. She followed him, basket on her arm, and settled onto her haunches when she saw he had no journey in mind. He stood when he performed, which was not hard, but it made him more restless when alone.

See above remarks about Dirhavel’s acrobatics, and also maaybe his ADHD

“I think—by the time—no, Túrin did not love her, and as for Finduilas, well, surely she cared for Gwindor? If they argued. Let’s see. And Túrin pursued her at last and fell in a swoon on her grave, we know that. And he loved Gwindor; how not, when Gwindor was with him at Ivrin? But Gwindor—I suppose—Gwindor must have hated him. No. He must have hoped Túrin loved Finduilas, and that was why he couldn’t be persuaded of the truth. For he would have wanted her to be happy, in the end.”

“Oh, no!”

His mood tipped down at once. “Oh no,” he agreed, and took his sandals off and stepped into the stream.

Again, I just think this interaction is fun. I mean I like the placement of his realization about Gwindor, but I LOVE the cook being like “oh no!! that’s so sad!” I hope other people enjoy “stories about the process of idiotic sadstuck brainstorming” as much as I do.

His mother had said once that both he and his father were happier than other men, but that they had no ballast, to keep steady the craft. If he took on an ounce of grief he’d sink, and yet he felt the flood almost as freedom. It made him more the master than had his dry, feckless race, his high-riding. As long as he struggled he had yet to succumb; that was the rule for a wasted night. He ought to go beg a bowl of sour milk from Linnor, or go and sing a service for the king. He could see as far as a night of stars.

I wanted to communicate a particular kind of mood downturn here where you can still clearly remember being happy, and the rising tide of discontent isn’t overwhelming on its own, it’s just depressing because you know where it leads—but for the same reason it’s also a relief, in that you know where it leads. Whereas joy is weird and easy to get lost in and you never know when the plug will be pulled. But I’m not sure the boat metaphor really works.

But it was day, it was red evening. It was his companion’s grief, filling his mind from above. She crouched and watched the far bank huge-eyed, not a tear in evidence, eyes opened but sealed, as it seemed, against sadness that strove for entry, not escape; she sat with wide mouth cracked, nostrils flared, sucking in great absent sniffs of sea-wind. She was besieged as an afterthought, safe and calm except besieged.

I also wanted to include some telepathy! As always! Dirhaval I imagine to be something of a natural, who probably has had some experience with elf mind-speech at this point—enough to recognize it but not really to manage it. I like this description of the cook in pain, I think it works well with her established personality and also evokes Nargothrond itself, which is of course the thing she’s actually grieving for. I mean, and she identifies it with Gwindor, reasonably enough, and takes unhappy pride in him as a lord of Nargothrond, and in this moment is kind of shot through herself not just with the fact of his defeat but the like, honorable necessity of his defeat, knowing that on some level he accepted it.   

(Gwindor surely wished Finduilas joy. Finduilas, dying, remembered Túrin, and told him where his quest should end. The feathered tops of the reeds glowed on dark stems, like a fire in a field of reeds—there before nightfall he planted for ever the standards of the Noldor and their unsheathed swords, kindling in the dawn.)

I’m so proud of this stupid line lol, it’s just the reverse of Tolkien’s—“The light of the drawing of the swords of the Noldor was like a fire in a field of reeds”—but I LOVE THAT LINE, it’s so perfect for Dirhaval as an author and Sirion as a place of memory/last battlefront/first battlefront for this long war. And its conclusion, still to come.

He washed his hands and greasy beard in the river. “Your fish will be cold,” he advised. He had abandoned hope of dinner until she brought it, but that was no reason to encourage bad habits in her.

Dumb friends. Dumb friends are great because they are attuned to the hazards of stupidity, and can help each other.

Then he had to pick some scales out of his teeth, and couldn’t elaborate, but he heard her uncover the basket, anyway.

He had met her before with a handful of salt, pressing a few grains to her mouth to check their purity. “Dírhaval,” she said wisely, mouth full. “Dírhaval, I have forgotten how to cook.” Meaning she had no spices, witched ovens, and trained assistants—maybe, with her, it really was as though she had forgotten; at least it was something else she had lost.

Yeah… the focus on memory in this is another unexpected link to the LOGH fic uh, an inevitable byproduct of writing about a historian, and it’s also supposed to reflect that loss of separation between elves and men, since so much of what distinguishes elves is… their wealth of resources, psychological and material. And the material resources are essential to and interwoven with the psychological resilience, as noted here, so I really wanted to capture that sense that *not having* all the wonderful things she used to have baffles her as much as a hole in her memory. Because the default is that you keep everything forever, right? Another feeling which is not unique to elves. God I love………………………… “people.”  

[sheepydraws]

SheepyReads March Round-up!

Romance

Hen Fever by Olivia Waite: Historical f/f where two women get embroiled in their town's annual chicken contest and learn about their tragic connection due to the recent war. This one is good enough to cackle about. I love that the heroines are on the older side (both past thirty) and the insanity that is caring for a bunch of show chickens. Funny, angsty, and with that touch of magical realism that can make historical romance really really fun. Recommended.

At His Countess' Pleasure by Olivia Waite: Historical f/m with a marraige of convenince, with. Um. This was originally published as I Pegged an Earl. So. Anyway, this is light-hearted smutty romance, and you should have fun if that appeals to you. Recommended.

Cinderella by S.T. Lynn: Fantasy Cinderella re-telling with a ftm/f romance. Making Cinderella's deadname Coal was very funny. Otherwise this didn't really stick out to me. It was sweet and very low-conflict but not particularly interesting. Not Recommended.

Pumpkin Pounder by Laura Lovely: A Cinderella based novella about a woman and her red-headed Halloween hookup. This is a "glad I got it from the library" book. It wasn't terrible (although I wasn't expecting it to be...uh...A Nightmare Before Christmas fan-fic??? Kinda??? It's a very minor element but her Halloween costume is Sally, and at the end the Hero shows up in a Jack Skellington costume and there's some pumpkin king jokes.) but it also wasn't really what I want from a romance novella since the "Cinderella" aspect meant the couple spent a good chunk of the story apart. Not Recommended.

The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes by Cat Sebastian: f/m historical where a woman winds up teaming up with her blackmailer when her own criminal activities go awry. I probably should have read The Queer Principles of Kit Webb before this, because the two stories are deeply interconnected, but I had a good time regardless. Sebatian did a great job of drawing an intimate romance in the middle of the whirlwind of committing a lot of different crimes. Also, how do I put this delicately? The heroine jacks the hero off in a stable and its incredibly hot. Recommended.

Non-Fiction

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy: A memoir about McCurdy's life as a child actor forced to support her family by her abusive mother. I loved that this book is told chronologically, so by the time you are reading about McCurdy having a breakdown in her twenties you already have context for her actions from the descriptions of her childhood. McCurdy is really good at showing how she felt when certain things were happening, while simultaneously giving you the bigger picture that she couldn't see at the time. Recommended

Been There, Done That by Rachel Feltman: A light-hearted history of sex, discussing contraception, kinks, sexually transmitted diseases and more things people have been dealing with since we evolved sexual reproduction. Not a serious dive into any particular topic, but this is a fun book, and the author has some good things to say about consent and boundaries. Recommended.

Mystery

The Bellamy Trial by Francis Noyes Hart: A mystery novel told mainly through witness testimony at a murder trial. Well-written and maintains its tension throughout, but I felt a bit let down by the ending. Not that it was bad, but I was abruptly reminded, "Oh yeah, this was written in 1925". It was very "bad people are bad and get punished and good people are good and get rewarded", in a way that almost felt condescending. This is very interesting as a historical artifact, though. Recommended

Graphic Novels

Heartstopper Vol. 1 by Alice Oseman: This was a very cute, very sweet high school romance, if a bit cliche. I'm kind of sad that the best thing I can say about it is that I would have been obsessed with it at fourteen. Not Recommended

Fantasy

The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett: A wizard university dropout attempts to show a fool-hardy tourist around an increasingly beautiful and dangerous magical world. Okay, yes, this book is nowhere near as good as Pratchett's later works, like Guards! Guards! (It was so weird to see Death being a bit of an asshole.) However, it is weirdly compelling. It has the bones of what Pratchett will do with later works, and there's something about a person falling off the edge of the world multiple times and slowly seeing the beauty in it I found strangely compelling. I've decided to put the rest of the Rincewind books on my TBR, and not just because this one ended in a cliff hanger.

[osberend]

A couple additional notes:

The "'thou' is subject, 'thee' is object" bit is true in normative English of the 17th century, but is not true of all dialects which kept the use of the second person singular longer than RP or SAE. (It may not have been true of all dialects even I'm the 17th century; I don't know.) In particular, there are still some Quakers who use the second person singular with other Quakers as part of their "testimony of simplicity" (as a rejection of the use of deferential terms for nobility, officials, etc.); I don't know whether there are still any that will insistently do so with outsiders. I'm any event, the longest-surviving form among such groups is use of "thee" as both subject and object, and of third person singular verb forms e.g., "thee is" or "thee knows"). The use of the originally objective form for the subject as well mirrors what happened with the second person plural, with "you" displacing "ye." I'm not sure how the replacement of verb forms with the third person ones occurred.

Speaking of deference: The distinction between the second-person singular, used to address one person as an equal or an inferior, and the second person plural, used to address one person as a superior — and then, gradually, as a respectful use in formal contexts even when the person addressed is not of higher rank, and then in all but the most familiar contexts, until finally its use became so ubiquitous that the second person singular was lost altogether — means that the dialogue between Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine in The Empire Strikes Back, in which Vader addresses the Emperor I'm the singular ("what is thy bidding, my master?") and the Emperor responds in the plural — is ass-backwards. The most likely reason for shit this is that . . .

The Lord's Prayer is addressed to God in the singular in Koine Greek, because the Greek of the time didn't use the second person plural as a sign of respect. (Nor did Latin until several centuries later, and initially only for the emperor.) In order to more closely follow the Greek text, the King James Bible and 1662 Book of Common Prayer both use the singular as well ("Our Father who art in Heaven . . ."), even though 17th century English did used the second person plural to indicate respect. The same is true in numerous other biblical and liturgical passages. Consequently, a lot of contemporary English-speaking Christians are used to using the second person singular to address God and no one else. Combined with the common tendency to reflexively assume that archaic forms are more formal or more respectful (e.g., I've seen "sirrah" misused in modern pseudo-medieval works as a fancy term of respect, when it's actually roughly equivalently to addressing someone as "boy"), this leads to people believing that addressing someone as "thou" is more respectful or reverent than addressing them as "you." It's not.

Also, kinda implied by the quotation marks I'm OP, but to be explicit: the language spoken in 17th-Century England is not Old English; Beowulf is Old English, and starts "Hƿæt! ƿē Gār-Dena in ġeār-dagum, þēod-cyninga, þrym ġefrūnon, hū ðā æþelingas ellen fremedon." The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer is Middle English, and starts "Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote, the droȝte of March hath perced to the roote, and bathed every veyne in swich licour, of which vertu engendred is the flour [. . .]" Shakespeare's plays and the King James Bible are both written in Early Modern English.

While we're talking about Early Modern English, just a quick note about the popular modern "Ye Olde X" construction: the "y" in that "ye" is a now-archaic way of representing the same sound that still starts the word "the," using printer's type that didn't include the letter "ƿ." Pronouncing it like the y in "you" (or, for that matter, "ye" in the sentence "ye are a fool") is incorrect.

please... if you’re going to attempt to speak in “old” english

THOU is the subject (Thou art…) THEE is the object (I look at thee) THY is for words beginning in a consonant (Thy dog) THINE is for words beginning in a vowel (Thine eyes)

this has been a psa