#*Replies

[traincat]

I know there's like 0 possibly of marvel ever letting Peter Parker officially be queer, but what about Johnny? Do you think it's possible that he could be confirmed as bi/pan at some point?

Johnny Storm exists in the weirdest canon sexuality grey area known to mankind. Is he constantly referred to as gay? Yeah. Is there evidence that several high profile Marvel creators think he's queer? Yes. Marjorie Liu confirmed that the intent in her run in Dark Wolverine was that there was a sexual relationship between him and Akihiro. Kurt Busiek retweeted an article I wrote that explicitly discussed the homosexual subtext of Johnny's character. Dan Slott reportedly wanted to write Johnny and Wyatt in a romantic relationship, which is believable if you look at the beginning of his run, but was told no. (Slott's written gay relationships before in Amazing Spider-Man, so I wouldn't find this so surprising.) And John Byrne wrote this:

(FF #251) John Byrne I desperately want to study you in a lab.

But is Johnny canonically anything but 100% straight? No, not officially. Marvel, the conglomerate, officially views Johnny as heterosexual, and if the Dan Slott thing is true even recently blocked an attempt at having Johnny come out. If this is true, it's most likely because of the new movie, because let's be honest, corporate Marvel does not care about Johnny Storm on the same level it cares about Spider-Man or the Punisher or Iron Man.

Because let's be honest. This goes deep. And it's been going on a long time. The above John Byrne panel is not the only example. There is a long-running thread of homophobic comments targeting Johnny running through 616 canon.

(Hulk vs Thing: Hard Knocks #3) "Light in the loafers" is slang for a gay man, for anyone who doesn't know.

(Dark Reign: Zodiac #2. I don't recommend reading this, by the way, not even if you're going deep down the Johnny Sexuality Well, but for the record Johnny, despite not being canonically gay, literally gets gaybashed in this comic.)

(FF #151) Does it get more blatant than a character named "Mahkizmo" referring to Johnny as "an effeminate"? Someone get me Gerry Conway on the phone, I need to know what he was thinking when he wrote this. (I know what Gerry Conway was thinking because Gerry Conway is a very good and very intentional writer.)

Then there's Ben's repeated teasing about Johnny's "crush" on Spider-Man, referring to them as "love boids" and so on. This is friendlier than the above comments, but then, if we assume Johnny is queer, Ben would know about it. He certainly knew what was going on with Johnny and Akihiro.

(Daken: Dark Wolverine #4) "Got what he came for, right?" Real double entendre here, since "what he came for" is both a weapon from Reed and, clearly, sex with Johnny.

The posing here is not subtle, even before you factor in that Marjorie Liu, who co-wrote this series along with Daniel Way, confirmed on social media that the relationship was meant to be read as sexual. (So you can probably add Way to the list of writers who think Johnny is queer, too.)

In fact, I'd say that Liu and Way depict the whole family as knowing about Johnny's sexuality and about the relationship.

(Daken: Dark Wolverine #4)

So if Johnny is in the closet, the way this issue frames it, he's only in the closet to the public. He's not in the closet to his family.

(Deadline #1) "All right, Storm, who were you with last night: Britney? Christina? Eminem?" in reference to Johnny getting caught "with a bottle in one hand and a blonde in another." So he's not doing a great job on that front, either.

Then there's Johnny's tendency, despite the perception of him as a womanizer, to look incredibly uncomfortable when he's kissed by a woman -- even a woman he purportedly has romantic interests in. Take, for example, the following panels:

(FF #562) He certainly is just standing there while Psionics, his one-time bad girl fling, kisses him and invites him to come see her again. Which he doesn't do, by the way. The next time he sees Psionics, she'll kill his close family friend Alyssa Moy right in front of him. Great!

(FF #259) Literally running away from Sharon Selleck. Now, we can say that he just wasn't attracted to her, which is true -- he was very ardently pursuing her roommate, Julie DeAngelo. Except.

(FF #263) That's certainly some kind of posture when she kisses him, and of course as soon as she kisses him, he's "over her."

There's more examples of this, too, where Johnny has a pre-existing connection with a woman only for him to completely freeze up or lean away from her when he's kissed, with no follow through on his part. (This is part of the reason I personally headcanon him as gay and not bi, but that's besides the point.) And it's a totally separate issue from the other longrunning thread of him being kissed as a form of assault. Which also happens. Like a lot. "Johnny Storm" and "consent issues" are basically synonymous at this point, which again is really interesting if we're looking at this from the perspective of Johnny and sexuality, since most of these incidents involve women as the perpetrators.

(Most. Not all. Dark Reign: Zodiac definitely implies some things, and I think it's interesting that Akihiro initiates his connection to the Fantastic Four by shooting Johnny through the thigh with an arrow.)

I've mentioned this before, but again, for a character who has the reputation that Johnny has developed, both in and out of universe, it is deeply bizarre that he does not have sex scenes. He doesn't have them. Peter Parker has sex scenes. Kinky sex scenes! There is zero doubt in my mind that that Peter Parker is attracted to women. I can't even show you Johnny Storm having vanilla missionary honeymoon lovemaking that fades to black. Whenever they want to show you he's had sex, it is always in the aftermath, and he is rarely having a great time about it. What's up with that, Marvel! I know, but do you!

Then there's Unstable Molecules: Fantastic Four, which exists in a metatextual area -- it's a fictionalized account of the "real people" who inspired the Fantastic Four, the story of four people rapidly barreling towards a disastrous dinner party that would be witnessed by two comic book creators. And it's Johnny is definitely queer.

(Unstable Molecules #3) "Johnny, it is the fiery night, and you are a holy flaming flower." The extras for Unstable Molecules even include a love poem written by the beatnik who calls him "a holy flaming flower" that is definitely supposed to be about Johnny.

So that's the grey area. You have all of this content that either implies or occasionally outright states that Johnny is not straight. But according to Marvel, the actual publisher and company, Johnny is straight. Personally, I don't like saying things are canon if they aren't explicitly 100% confirmed canon, but the wealth of evidence here is so substantial that I make an exception. It's just a matter of when Marvel the actual company is going to admit it.

(Fantastic Four: Marvel Snapshots #1)

[nessa007]

What did Tom Felton say? 😬

[source]

[mirtylebuns]

hello ! wcif the crib and the decor on the crib in this post, sorry I know im asking for multiple items ;<

hey dear, thats okay! dont worry, i love do wcif ;P lets go to the list:

crib | 2. bear plushie | 3. bedside bag | 4. pillow | 5. blanket.

hope helped you! enjoy <3

[ruanbaijie]

Hi!! Could I request a tutorial by this layout? 64(.)media(.)tumblr(.)com/296a764fcd7fdfea783c7f6f768f4d76/9f91afb91cffd785-7e/s540x810/66aaacbd69cdf4c087707a38498ddb8bfc4338d7(.)gifv

hello, here you go!

this layout is a pretty straightforward clipping mask layout, but the same principle can be applied for much more complicated layouts and shapes as well, such as:

[x] the tiled rectangles in gifs 1 and 3, the broken glass shards in gif 2, the ripped paper in gif 4, the alternating rectangles in gif 5

[x] the text masked into the ripper paper in gif 1

[x] scenes masked into the text

[x] scenes masked into a more complicated shape

the clipping mask is really versatile, and once you've tried it for the first time it's really up to you how else you wanna play around with it!

[peterfelweek]

Is there a 2024 Peterfel week planned?

Preliminary discussions about Peterfel Week 2024 are underway, mostly debating between sticking to the usual weekly theme format or shake things up this year with a Big Bang style event. Planning is in its early stages so it can still go multiple directions. Any announcements will likely occur in the back half of 2024.

As always, the ask box will remain open for questions and suggestions. Thanks for the ask!

- @splendidnothings

[costumegifs]

If you are taking requests, could you gif Martha May Whovier costumes from how the grinch stole christmas?

Here 😊❤️💚

— Vanessa

[traincat]

Thank you for all you’ve done for the Spideytorch nation o7

Just wanted to ask if you remember a page where Johnny invites Spidey to hang out after saving the world together but Pete says he’d rather do science with Reed and Johnny gets mad at him?? I vaguely recall seeing something but can’t find it and it’s driving me Insane (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

I'm pretty sure you're thinking of this page from Untold Tales of Spider-Man #6!

One day you're asking a boy to come look at your convertible, the next thing you know you're leaving your whole family to him in your will.

[traincat]

spideytorch where they once joke-promised that if neither of them have settled down by the time they turn 35, theyd just marry each other lol

Peter crawls into bed at 6 AM on his 35th birthday and Johnny is already there and once again naked.

[traincat]

a genuine question why do people keep saying johnny is gay instead of bi? like i get it and i agree BUT why not bi?

Honestly I think this is one of those things that is totally up to personal interpretation, considering the weird Queer Grey Area Johnny lives in. I think he's gay, though I've gone back and forth over the years, but if other people want to think he's bi/pan, I don't think that's a wrong interpretation, either. (I do not control how other people label the Human Torch's sexuality, etc.)

I think, for me, what's swung my personal read on the character to gay over the years is just like, the extreme lack of actual demonstrated attraction to women. Johnny says he's attracted to women. Loudly! Frequently! Through the bullhorn! Is there a camera turned his way! Oh God please someone believe him. But when confronted with an attractive woman who wants to be intimate with him, he may go along with it, but sooner or later he's going to start ghosting.

(FF v3 #55) "'Scuze me -- I had this funny idea a guy was supposed to spend time with his girlfriend."

Look at his marriage, for example. Not the Skrull retcon stuff, although I do think that ultimately comes into play -- I'm talking about two things. There's, first off, the extreme sexlessness of the honeymoon.

(FF #301 and #302) I'm not saying like, nobody goes hiking on their honeymoon. I'm sure there's avid hikers enjoying romantic hikes out there. I'm saying that this is Johnny Storm and he's out there backpacking and visiting artist communes. Peter and Mary Jane, by comparison, were making the beast with two backs on a beach in France. (I actually really like #302 as an issue, it has a fun concept, but it does kind of highlight how Unsexy Johnny and Alicia are as a couple. The chemistry of styrofoam.)

Then there's the Crystal Emotional Affair.

(FF #305) "So things did work out in the long run!" Oh yeah you guys are gonna be real normal about each other.

(FF #317)

This never goes anywhere, mostly because of Johnny. I don't doubt Crystal would have upheld the most holiest of marital duties: cheating. (I love Crys, I just think her love 'em and leave 'em tendency is funny.) There's a lot of melodramatic bemoaning here -- she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen! She regrets her decision to leave him! They're angsting about it in the shower. Separate. Separate showers. Because this never goes anywhere even remotely physical, because Johnny Would Never Cheat On His Wife, as he says. Repeatedly.

It's important to look at the issue numbers here: Johnny and Alicia only got together in #275. They got married in #300. By #305, Johnny is basically emotionally clawing at the walls to get out of his marriage, falling back on old romances, which is something of a tendency. When Crys dumped him, after all, he tried to get back with Dorrie Evans. Nothing happened there, either.

And then much later on, when Crystal does come onto him, he's not into it.

(Marvel Knights 4 #30)

Again, there's a pattern here. After Frankie Raye left him (for Galactus), he pursued her roommate Julie Angel hard -- albeit chastely. But when Julie does kiss him, he's suddenly "over her." Johnny talks the talks but he rarely walks the walk.

(FF #236) Out of curiosity, I wanted to see what Peter was doing romantically around this exact time. Peter's a useful yardstick here because whatever else you want to headcanon about him, he's definitely romantically and sexually interested in women, and consistently portrayed that way. At this point in time (roughly late 1981), Peter was embroiling himself in a love triangle with his fellow grad students, Marcy Kane and Deb Whitman, and then also getting back together with Black Cat. He should be classified a menace against women. But while Peter is referencing cunnilingus techniques in scenes with his wife, Johnny's most overt sexual reference from his own marriage is that he's going to "darn Alicia's socks." And that's not even Johnny! That's in an imagined world that never happened! We know they were sleeping together, because Johnny certainly believes it's possible that Lyja could have been pregnant, but there's no passion between Johnny and Alicia during the marriage. And if it was just the marriage, I could write that off as him not being attracted to Alicia specifically. But it's not just the marriage.

Johnny is constantly portrayed as someone who wants to be in love, but once he's in that relationship, there's always a barrier or an obstacle. He's probably his happiest in his initial relationship with Crystal which is, uh, unfortunate, because that started when he was roughly 19 and ended at latest in his very early 20s. (Again, we're dating him by dating Peter, here -- Johnny got married very shortly before Peter did, and Peter got married, by his own statement, five years after he started college, so he was roughly 23. Johnny would also have been 23 or 24 when he got married. This means MJ was 22 when she got married oh my God put her back in that club.) And Johnny and Crystal are very cute!

(FF #64 and #67) They're adorable. But they're kids. Just because Johnny had a Pinterest board for his Plaza wedding at age 19 doesn't mean it was going to work.

Then there's Frankie -- obviously, Frankie and Johnny were not doing anything, because whenever Frankie takes off her clothes she's got a whole gold bodysuit under there. Once the reveal with her powers happens, Johnny is disturbed by Frankie's more violent tendencies. Then she leaves him for Galactus. His next "big" relationship is Alicia/Lyja, and that's. You know, that's a whole thing. After that, things never REALLY get off the ground again. There's relationships! But they don't go anywhere. This is also when the Playboy Johnny persona emerges, as shallow as it is, and while I do think there's enough evidence to headcanon that as Johnny's trauma response to the Skrull marriage, honestly it's probably just because Marvel's cadre of largely male writers in the late '90s and early '00s couldn't imagine a single blond pretty boy wouldn't be a raging skirt chaser. I'm going to address this in more detail in a reply to a different ask, but I personally believe in something called the Johnny Effect where I give every new Fantastic Four writer post-Claremont something like the first few issues to adjust to writing Johnny. There's usually a slide into a more honest look at the character after that point. Which I get -- there's characters where, after you write them for a while, you start thinking about them more in depth, and I think that's what happens with Johnny.

The third thing for me is like -- I've talked about this before but there's the history of violation linked to Johnny and intimacy. In some way, in a lot of his relationships (although not all), Johnny is lied to, has his boundaries violated, or is flat out assaulted. This isn't solely with women, granted. Daken Akihiro, Wolverine's son, engineers their (word of author canon) relationship by shooting him through the thigh with an arrow and pinning it on Bullseye. But I would not call that an isolated incident on the other party's side. It's just that it does happen a lot with women, including women he's had relationships with.

(FF #46 and #49) That's an alternate Frankie Raye, but still. You have the kiss with Psionics at the end of that arc, only for Psionics' next appearance to involve her killing one of Johnny's good friends in front of him while threatening the lives of his niece and nephew. There's a certain level of melodrama expected in romantic relationships with comics, but Johnny's drama often crosses a line in a way Peter's "bad girl" drama with, say, Felicia, doesn't. I think you could trace a lot of this back to the unaddressed aspects of the Lyja plotline, but not all of it.

Other characters just also euphemistically call him gay.

(Hulk vs Thing: Hard Knocks #3) Why does the Hulk think he's gay.

I swung around to thinking he's just not attracted to women at all through a lot of rereads and writing various meta posts and just generally thinking about him, but again, that's not like, I can't make any rules here, I can just make my own case. If other people want to view him as bi, I think you could make a case, too. From my perspective, there's a lack of demonstrated attraction to women (even the weird Sexy Cosplayers scene in Miller's run is a set up so a film crew can walk in on him and he abandons them at the first opportunity) and a lack of emotional intimacy to a lot of his relationships when compared to his Very Heterosexual Male Friendships. For me, I think what's going on with Johnny is that he was put in this role as a teenager of the Celebrity Teen Heartthrob, and he was at least somewhat aware at that point in time that the Fantastic Four's security depended heavily on both him and Sue being desirable to fans. But boyband-types grow up, and Johnny has struggled to match his image to what's "desirable" to his current market group -- but he knows it involves him in a high profile relationship with a woman, and that's where a lot of his post-Alilyja relationships have come from. (Darla, Kourtney, Nita, etc.) I think Dark Wolverine demonstrated that if Johnny's in the closet, it's not to his family. They know what's going. It's the rest of the world Johnny keeps himself closeted over, because he links his high flying heartthrob image to safety.

(Daken: Dark Wolverine #4) "Is peace hard to come by for you?"

But again, sexuality headcanons -- and again, Johnny is not canon-by-corporate queer -- are personal. These are just my thoughts on the subject.

(FF v6 #5) "Be brave, Johnny Storm."

[traincat]

Is Peter sympathetic to his villains?

It depends on the villain and the circumstance. He can be very sympathetic to his villains. He can understand a villain's motivations but lack sympathy for his actions. Or he can just actively not care at all. It's circumstantial.

(Marvel Knights Spider-Man #12)

These don't have to be like, costume villains either. He's famously not cool about violent street crime or anything targeting women or kids.

Peter, please, a man just died. (ASM v2 #42)

There's villains I don't think Peter, if written in character, should ever have sympathy for. Characters like Morlun, for example, or the Jackal, or Carnage.

There are characters I think he understands but should never be sympathetic towards. I think any sympathy he had for Norman Osborn died with Gwen, and then again with Harry. (This is part of the reason the Good Norman plotline bugged me so much. It wasn't really about making Norman Not Evil, it's just that even if Norman could be un-evil and was genuinely remorseful, I don't think it's good characterization to have Peter treat him with anything but scorn.) It's similar with, say, Doc Ock or the Lizard. These are characters Peter has traditionally felt sympathy for, especially the Lizard who, as Doc Connors, WAS his very good friend. But these are also characters who have committed acts so unforgivable that I think any sympathy Peter has for them should have rightfully died. (It hasn't, in the case of Doc Connors, but we all know Spider-Man writing has been beyond lousy the past decade.) In Doc Ock's case, it was bodyjacking Peter. In the Lizard's case, it's that he ate his own son. (Shed, Amazing Spider-Man #630-633. Don't read it. It's bad and it's also genuinely the most depressing Spider-Man story I've ever read.) There are characters like Sin-Eater, where Peter is just not ever going to be sympathetic towards him, and he's right.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #134)

But there are other villains like Sandman or the Rhino where Peter is sympathetic to their circumstances. It doesn't mean he won't punch them in the face, but he gets it, and it keeps him up at night. There's characters who started off villains, like the Prowler, who became card carrying members of his extended polycule his friends. There's characters like Vermin, where, yes, he was eating people in the sewers, but that is NOT his fault, and Peter understands that. (This is a Vermin stan blog. You have to read Kraven's Last Hunt, The Child Within, and The Death of Vermin to understand. CW for childhood sexual abuse.) You have Kaine, his clone, although most of the sympathetic rumination on Kaine's tragic backstory comes from Ben Reilly, his other clone. There's Harry, who has frequently been a villain, who Peter loves beyond reason and is so greatly sympathetic towards.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #183)

(ASM #599)

There's characters like Ezekiel, who, yeah, tried to kill him, but Peter has a relationship with them. A lot of people have tried to kill him. He can't hold it against everyone. And if you want to count J Jonah Jameson as a Spider-Man villain, Peter is sympathetic towards him and does love him, even if he would rather stick his leg in a bear trap than admit it.

In general, Peter doesn't tolerate or show any sympathy towards people who hurt his friends and family. Lay a finger on them and that's the big red line for him. (See above with Sin-Eater, who murdered Jean DeWolff, a detective who was friends with Spider-Man.)

(ASM #665)

(ASM #598) The face of a man who is about to get parts of his face ripped off. Literally.

(ASM #637) And Kraven's wife getting her face ripped off for her part in the death of his clone, Kaine. (He got better. She did not, but that's Kraven's fault.)

(Spider-Man and Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do #6) Heavy content warnings on this one again for childhood abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. It also retcons Felicia's backstory in a way I don't love, but it has really good Peter and Felicia interaction and the Peter voice is consistently strong.

(ASM #540) With the man who shot Aunt May. As a note, the black suit here is NOT the Venom symbiote, it's the cloth version of the costume. A lot of the times when Peter is written harder and he's in the black suit, there's an assumption that it's the symbiote, influencing him, and that's simply not true in 616. 90% of the time you see the black suit, it's going to be the cloth variation.

Which leads into a big case of Peter Is Never Going to Be Sympathetic: the Kingpin.

(ASM #542) Please please please read Back in Black please please please. It's so good it's my favorite it's angry Peter at his absolute best yes it leads directly in One More Day and no I don't care. You can stop after the Nine Felonies if that's a dealbreaker.

So the Kingpin is the big one for me, because he hits all of Peter's buttons. He's rich, he's corrupt, he thinks he's the most powerful man in the room. Those are all going to tick Peter off immediately, and that was before the assassination attempt on Mary Jane where the bullet struck May instead. He's just never going to feel sympathy for the Kingpin, ever, Wilson Fisk's gay mob boss son is disappointing him is not an excuse that's valid to Peter.

Then there are the villains that Peter isn't sympathetic to not because their actions are beyond his threshold for sympathy, but because he thinks they're total fucking losers.

(Marvel Knights Spider-Man #11) This comic is so deeply bro-y but also really fun, if you can take that much Mark Millar. This is Mac Gargan as Venom, by the way, not Eddie Brock, and Peter has always thought Mac is a gigantic loser. He's not wrong.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #145) He hates a little rich boy. Unless it's one of the two little rich boys that are in love with him.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #185) Don't make fun of the gay walrus, Peter, come on.

Then there's this fucking guy.

This is the Black Fox, an old gentleman thief who thwarts Peter at every turn by looking like a kindly old man and going "heyheyhey c'man man I'm just a little guy I'm just a little birthday boy" at Peter until Peter just lets him go and the Black Fox gets away with everything and Peter tells himself it won't happen next time and then it happens next time.

Every single time and Peter is left standing there like an idiot.

[traincat]

hey! how r u! idk if anyone’s asked this before but I wanted to know ur thoughts on johnny canonically having a good singing voice, p sure he’s described as “having the voice of an angel”!

and if you had any spideytorch fics based on this?

Can Johnny Storm Sing is one of the greatest Marvel mysteries of all time for me and I am not even remotely joking. Not even a little bit.

Walk with me here.

Johnny having "the voice of an angel" and being the best singer out of the Fantastic Four comes from Fantastic Four (2018) #1, the first issue of Dan Slott's run:

Unrelated but I'm still unfortunately a "Dan Slott was setting up canon JohnnyWyatt and Marvel said no" truther.

Important for our analysis: Johnny is the best singer in this particular group, not necessarily objectively a good singer. Ben does say he has the voice of angel though. That we cannot deny.

And yes, Johnny had a brief career as a pop singer in Robinson's run.

(Fantastic Four (2014) #1)

"Storm Warning." Okay buddy. The decision to become a pop star was hastily made at a barbecue on the moon after his singer girlfriend dumped him for Ant Man.

(FF #16)

Does it matter. Good question!

Sidenote: this is such a tiny detail that it doesn't matter at all, but Wyatt being both the person to be like "can you sing" and one of the people saying Johnny's the best singer of the group the above issue is one of those little comics contradictions that annoys me. Whatever. I'm actually inclined to side with Slott here solely because I, unfortunately, think he's a stronger Johnny writer than Fraction.

Anyway, "does it matter," not really actually, because Johnny's entire tour is canceled after he loses his powers in Robinson's run.

(FF (2014) #8) "The world already has more blond pretty-boy singers than it needs. They wanted more than that from you." Haha. I'm sure that won't set off any negative spiraling from a character who thinks he's nothing without his powers. We have fun here in Johnny Storm fandom.

If I'm looking at this objectively, I think there's a pattern here that follows Johnny's similarly short-lived acting career, where he repeatedly froze on the set of his gay cowboy movie, The Rawhide Kid.

(Listen. The Rawhide Kid wasn't canonically gay when Johnny was cast to play him in a movie. He WAS declared canonically gay in a miniseries that was released a handful of months later. I just want to talk, Marvel.)

It's not that Johnny is necessarily a bad actor, so much as that he's extremely self-conscious. He would freeze on set, forget his lines, get frustrated, etc. (There was other stuff going on, but I think it's fair to say he wasn't comfortable in the role of a movie star.) But he can play an undercover role fine enough. So the issue isn't acting itself, but the context. I imagine singing might be the same. Johnny might sing fine at karaoke with Jen and Wyatt, or with his family, but in front of a hundred thousand screaming strangers? He's going to rely on his image as the Human Torch first, and any talents separate from a fire show after that. Take away his powers and he probably can't muster the stage presence needed to be a global pop star.

(Marvel Knights 4 #1) "Johnny, you're good-looking, sure, and you can fly -- no one's arguing with that -- but you can't sing, you can't dance, and you can't act."

Johnny's grown now, but he's always going to be the kid who actually wanted a secret identity somewhere deep down.

(Strange Tales #106)

It's going to be a long fifteen years of zero privacy, Johnny.

Subjectively speaking: I truly and honestly believe Johnny has an annoying voice. That doesn't negate him from being a good singer, necessarily -- it could just be his speaking voice. But I believe sincerely that his voice is annoying. Thanks for backing me up on that one, Marvel Rivals. (I'm saying this with nothing but pure and true love.)

But honestly nothing I just said matters. Because of this. The piece de resistance when talking about Johnny Storm and singing.

With infinite weariness. This one's for you, Melinda.

[traincat]

random question, but i was curious if in your panels folder you've ever saved any of the fan letters that get published in comics, like if one made an impression on you or made you laugh or something

Sometimes! I don't always read the letter pages but occasionally stuff sticks out.

Huge mood.

And everyone knows this one I feel like but all the same.

Letra has been waiting since 1994 give her what she wants.

[traincat]

Hello! A bit of a silly question, but are there any iconic or standout Johnny or Peter outfits from the comics? For Johnny, ones that aren’t Fantastic Four uniforms specifically. Hope you’re having a good day/night! I love reading ur comic rambles !

Oh, the outfits. Not sure if these are what you wanted by iconic or standout, but these are the ones I think about a lot.

So, on his own, Peter's not the most interesting dresser, but he's not bad at it, either.

This is a pretty typical look for him -- Turtleneck with this style of jacket, pants, hiking boots. It works for him, but there's a practical aspect here, too, because he can wear the Spider-Man costume under this combination without anyone being aware. (They put him in short sleeves too much today!)

He's had some outfits though. Some looks. Some better than others.

(ASM #311) "Le Derriere jeans." Let's be fair he's not even trying with this one. At least MJ's pink cowboy getup is cute but he's not even attempting to wear that hat. It's wearing him.

(ASM #299) Bless him he's trying. Barely and badly, but trying. Note to myself that I need to do a McFarlane reread at some point. It's not my favorite period of canon, as evidenced by the fact that this wasn't in my refs and I had to go looking for it.

(ASM #330) I love his stupid anti-Batman tank top. It takes a certain kind of man to be petty across publishing houses.

Thou who doth not make mention of three things -- namely, the red briefs, the Bathrobe Collection, and the animal crop top -- hath not done their duty to Spider-Man fandom. Seriously, why does he own so many of bathrobes. (ASM #299 and Web of Spider-Man #18)

(ASM #249) Imagine you just found out your father murdered one of your best friends in the whole world and one of your other best friends in the whole world shows up to your pool party wearing this.

(ASM #506) But yeah I would say, day to day, he wears a lot of button ups with ties and black turtlenecks. Again, stuff he can hide the costume under. He wore a lot of suits and ties when he was teaching.

In terms of costumes, I really like the black cloth Spider-Man suit, but it's not exactly unusual. I'm pretty conservative with Spider-Man suits, but I do like the Last Stand suit. I feel there's good narrative weight to that one.

(ASM #637) Not in its original context, but a good look at it all the same. Interesting that in Madame Web's vision of what would happen if Peter killed Kraven, he switches to the Last Stand suit. Something worth thinking about potentially. I do wish I liked his Future Foundation suit more than I actually do, but I only really like the black version. The plain white is just kind of boring to me.

Okay, Johnny, though -- Johnny Storm has never met a pattern he wouldn't violently clash up against another pattern. Johnny dresses like a whole circus. Johnny goes to Paris Fashion Week, buys everything, and still ends up on the worst dressed list. Johnny Storm's fashion choices are breathtaking.

(FF #164) "And I don't have to stop for red lights." Okay. Let's take it from the top here. The red ascot, the violently patterned shirt and pants, the fringed jacket with his initials on it. The multiple rings. When I say this outfit has it all I mean it has the whole store.

And do not forget his perfectly coiffed hair, a thing that he woke up with and required no styling whatsoever. ("I've got to do SOMETHING about my hair!" - Fantastic Four #138.)

(FF #191) I actually like this one, I think the maroon suit is cute.

(FF #296) I love his little red scarf and Four jacket. Guest appearance by Alicia/Lyja (this was written pre-retcon but we also have to apply the retcon to past appearances, you know how it is) who is definitely speaking like a human and not a space alien who has gone wildly off script.

(FF #309) Obsessed with this entire scene. "Oh, I'm going to fly down with my brand new wife to Fire Island, a famously gay vacation spot, while wearing my little ankle jeans and nautical striped tank top. Maybe we'll hold hands." Unbelievable.

He also tends to wear a lot of Four-branded and flame print stuff, in general, which is cute. The famous flame print swim trunks, etc.

(Fantastic Four v5 #14) You have to love his Depression Howard the Duck shirt. Context: Peter and Wyatt kidnapped him for his own good.

(Uncanny Avengers #8) I think about his wolf howling at the moon shirt and tiny orange shorts combo from this comic roughly five times a week.

For uniforms that are less common, I really like his gold and black suit, his 2n1 suit, and the black short sleeve variant of his suit from Claremont's run.

(Marvel Two-in-One (2018) #4) I loved this jacket. I wish they'd sold a version of it, I would have bought it.

(Moon Girl #25) Don't trauma dump on the child, Johnny.

(FF v3 #27) This one isn't anything particularly special or anything, I just think it's fun, and I like the boots. They desperately need to take things a step further and let him do his own version of one of Sue's opera glove costumes.

Also please look at this dumb little outfit he made himself when he was sixteen and being manipulated into breaking away from the Fantastic Four.

(Strange Tales #106) This is iconic to me anyway.

And then okay. Yeah. There's the Bad! Real Bad! shirt.

(Daredevil #261) Someone help him.

[traincat]

Why do people describe Peter as an “old soul”?

Because he has the personality of a crotchety eighty-year-old man trying to return a single piece of fruit he bought with a coupon.

Okay, seriously, I think there's a couple of reasons for this. The first is that Peter Parker was raised an only child by loving parents who were quite a bit older than the parents of his peers and because for the majority of his adolescence he did not have friends. He doesn't really have friends until college -- he has a girlfriend in high school, and an antagonistic relationship with Flash, and his and Johnny's whole pigtail pulling thing. That's it, that's the majority of his social circle until he gets to college. As someone who had kind of an unconventional upbringing, here's what I can tell you: this leaves you seriously out of touch with current popular culture. You are always behind on music. You are always behind on television. God forbid you know what memes are in. Your touchstones are what your parents know -- my parents were rock DJs with a penchant for the '60s, and that's something you can quiz me on, but when I was in high school I did not know any current music. It would be the same for Peter; he's going to be familiar with the things Ben and May listen to and watch and enjoy. and it does leave you feeling out of step with your generation.

Being even kind of current is something I had to really work to learn how to do, and the thing is, I just don't see Peter putting in the effort. By the time he actually has friends his own age, he's Spider-Man, and he's working at the Bugle, and he's dating Gwen. So he's got a job and a girlfriend he's crazy about and then all of his free time he spends swinging around kicking costumed criminals in the face, which is a choice. He's not investing the time to watch current TV and movies or to listen to current music. He has a senior citizen dressed like a vulture to antagonize.

(Peter Parker #22) "My point exactly! You don't like anything new or cutting edge!"

Peter is always described, as a child, as serious. Letting loose and having fun isn't something he's able to do until he becomes Spider-Man. I think part of it is just that that's his personality -- he is someone who is a bit of an old soul, who gives off that air.

Peter is funny and active and he can be lighthearted from time to time!

(Spider-Man Unlimited #20)

But there's another factor at play, too: Peter has been Spider-Man for a while. There is a part of him that's tired. He's seen a lot, he's lost a lot. There's things he's never quite recovered from -- Gwen's death, Harry's death. There's a weight to Peter's actions and personality in the wake of that. And that weight I think contributes to that perception of Peter as an old soul.

As a sidenote, I've never actually heard him called that in those exact words, but now that you brought it up I do think it fits, which was interesting to think about, so thank you!

[traincat]

I'm so far deep into the 'Johnny is gay' echo chamber that I keep forgetting that's not the mainstream perception of him 😭😭😭

Like there was a comment on Twitter where someone said 'Johnny wouldn't celebrate Pride he's a womaniser he's chased almost every female superhero in Marvel' and I was like huh??? Johnny??? My misunderstood, emotionally complex, loverboy who loved boys??? Who are you talking abt rn???

Even if Johnny was straight (lol) you know his ass would be at Pride. He loves a party and a loud outfit. He's making Ben go with him. He painted a rainbow on his chest at night so now he has to. He's out there on Instagram hashtagging #loveislove with zero self-awareness.

Meanwhile the only reason Peter has ever been to Pride is because someone he knows forced him. He hates it the whole time because he hates fun and he's still grumpy about that time Jonah wrote an editorial accusing Spider-Man of being homophobic, which Jonah refuses to apologize for to this day even though Robbie really thinks he should.