#*kaypost

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale, Walking

I know we talk a lot about Crowley's saunter, but may I present:

The careful way Aziraphale walks?

The way he looks so solid and strong?

So sure?

He seems to like his body (corporation)

And that's so sexy

He appears to be always on a particular, precisely calculated path at any point

Anyway, I love the way he holds himself

And Crowley definitely appreciates that too:

Also

And especially:

And erm

[accumulated-error]

Flying coop in VTOL is amazing, especially in a two seater airplane. Where else can I yell at my beloved best friend to jam the fucking radar spiking us while pulling enough G's to separate the plasma out of our blood in an effort to avoid the telephone pole sized missile that's currently making a beeline for our plane.

[giornosflower]

Neuvillette

Neuvillette is the type of partner where if you were to play with his long precious locks he'd just DIE. (not literally obviously). He loves your touch and if you were to put little bows in his hair like the melusines he wouldn't change it. He would love it if you didd his hair for him every morning. If you wanted to braid it, he'd totally be at your will. Overall just play with this mans hair he loves it, (pls he's secretly begging).

[kissbeginswithkay]

Watching 2012 TMNT (aka peak TV) again and I have so much to say. I'm gonna combat the writer's weird romance stuff with ✨headcanons✨ (spoilers for season 2 in here!)

Leo doesn't have a crush on his (unknown for season 1 and 2, maybe season 3??) stepsister, (s)he wants to be her! Leo thinks Karai is pretty and realizes she might be a girl. April is a good friend, but Karai is cool, she's got a (literally) metal style, with a kickass hairstyle and rocker makeup. Leo wants to be as confident as her, as a girl!

I actually do ship Casey and April together, they have much more chemistry just from Casey's first appearance rather than how long Donnie and April have been friends. I'm lowkey a big fan of jealous Donnie though, it just fits him somehow. Not creep/stalker Donnie though, too creepy :(. Like I can understand that he doesn't know how to express his feelings for her, but I don't like this portrayal of him, he's not like in any other series! (As far as I know, I've only watched this and Rise, but I feel like I would've seen people talk about it if it happened in other TMNT series.) I don't ship Casey and Donnie either, I like the bromance between Casey and Raph much more. Casey and Donnie do Not like each other at first, cause they're both fighting for April (which is so ridiculous)

Also Casey writes in his diary that April is someone close to him! That's so sweet, whether it's romantic or not, (even if the intention is romantic) they have a really good bond.

Not liking how April will make Donnie believe he has a chance when he doesn't with kissing him, but I do believe she genuinely calls out for him because she knows he'll come for her fast, whether she's aware of his feelings for her or not (she probably is :/)

Also I'm watching season 2 episode 8 right now and why are they making Derp!April freaky???

I'm sad that Raph lost Spike, I wish he didn't turn into Slash, I think Spike was a great pet to show Raph's softer side, and a good constant in his day to day when his brothers were pissing him off. He literally starts destroying stuff now that Spike isn't around in season 2 episode 9!

I love how much Raph loves Mikey (AS BROTHERS!!! i feel like I have to clarify cause the amount of brother shippers is too many, and y'all aren't welcome on my page) like any time Mikey gets hurt Raph is the first one to notice and scream "Mikey!" I love their younger sibling dynamic since they act the most like siblings (though Leo, Donnie, and Mikey got their part of teasing their siblings)

Casey is so punk, you know he DIY'ed all the stuff he has, especially with the makeshift electrocuter. And wearing both face paint and a mask? Hell yeah! I wanna read more on punk history and why people wear a mask rather than Casey's reason of "cause it's cool!"

yeah I love this show despite all its problems, I enjoyed it when I was younger and I still love it now

okay let me actually keep watching instead of trying to write this post and watch at the same time LOL, I've gotten through 4+ episodes trying to write this post. This hallucination episode is scary cause imagining it in the perspective of people who experience hallucinations irl,

[deathsdoorproject]

Why i love Investigations:

[brightwaterforarainyday]

The Collection is complete! Beyond This Dark House was the last one I needed and my copy arrived yesterday! (thanks thriftbooks)

Cannot overstate the influence Kay's work has had on me, both creatively and on my way of seeing myself and the world. Having all that collected together like this feels good, like having a piece of my life right there on one shelf.

[dalliancekay]

I don’t understand. Why is it always assumed Aziraphale didn’t get how fucking awful it was of HEAVEN to try and kill him (for wanting to save Earth).

Why does everyone always think he’d need to know what Gabriel said. Or that Crowley didn’t tell him about it.

I’m sorry but just cos he’s trying to make Crowley laugh after the indescribable stress of the horrible shitshow they have just gone through; that doesn’t mean he thought killing another being in front of his eyes, in the matter that he (probably would have had the worst possible nightmares over if he made the habit of sleeping) agonised over, ever since Crowley handed him that note in St James’s Park; that he didn’t think it was the most awful thing he lived through, while panicking about whether he’s going to survive and whether Crowley will too.

HOW can you say that Aziraphale doesn’t see Heaven for what it is? How couldn’t he? After what they have done to him. For so long. Since Before The Beginning when we saw the poor angel all anxious and worried. After what they have done to Crowley.

Heaven has all the power. He rebells as much as he can while protecting his existence on Earth and his very inappropriate relationship with the love of his life. He does all that until that one moment when he can’t. When Metatron, who says he speaks for God tells him he knows all about their little dalliance.

That’s when Aziraphale knows it’s over. He must leave. And leave his home and his beloved behind.

But anyone (esp Metatron) who thinks he will give it up without a fight is sorely mistaken. They have no idea what sort of hornet they have taken up to the bees.

Don’t forget:

AZIRAPHALE HAD THOUSAND YEARS+ OF TRAINING IN TEMPTATION FROM THE ORIGINAL TEMPTER. As well as being a bit of a bastard. And very stubborn. And extremely clever.

He will use his skills. All of them.

This scene hits so different on the rewatch.

How jolly Aziraphale is about the whole thing. I asked for a rubber duck! I made Michael miracle me a towel!

Whereas Crowley is having trauma flashbacks about Gabriel telling his only friend to Shut His Stupid Mouth And Die. The memory seems to hurt too much to say. It's another thing he hasn't told Aziraphale to protect him.

But also that that it confirmed their existing biases of Heaven and Hell. They both know Hell is wicked, that's the point of it. But only Crowley sees Heaven for what it really is, and Aziraphale wasn't there for the event that might have mad him see it.

[dalliancekay]

Happy Pride month!

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Thanks google docs, very cool

[kissbeginswithkay]

Being a total loser (in a good way) means that i can't stop fucking laughing at jawsh videos guys I can't stop laughing at them why is he so funny

he has occasional misses of just laughing at people enjoying themselves but other than that this man has made me cry laugh and wheeze laugh I can't believe it

I've taken some of his lingo too: kino, coal, gem, peak, and it's so over, I made sure to plague one of my friends with it while we played fortnite And talked about jawsh whenever I wanted to

AND I bought his stupid plush first chance I could get and when he comes out with another one I'll get that too

year of the jawsh is so back, I've been watching him for years and I'm glad more people are seeing him :) we're so back.

[dalliancekay]

1500BC

Aziraphale is alone and exhausted, having just travelled from the North back to Egypt for a while. The assignments can be so tiring, especially if he can't always use miracles when travelling to make himself more comfortable.

He hasn't been back here for a century or so, was eager to see more of the pyramid structures these ingenious humans came up with, and even more so, he's keen to learn more about their fascinating way to encode speech and thoughts onto flat surfaces.

However, he has heard some inklings on a new and better way to do this and it's all very exciting. He will have to travel back to (what is now) Lebanon anyway soon and speak to some humans there. He can't wait. An alphabet. Breaking up sounds. Make symbols for them. Fascinating.

There's a rustling behind him as he's sitting in his calm spot on the bank of the River and he turns to see two young men falling through a bush in what seems to be an eager romantic embrace. They spot him and freeze.

After a moment of staring one whispers something to the other who looks Aziraphale up and down and smiles, clearly more at ease and the angel wonders if it is his angelic presence that calmed the boys down (it isn't). Aziraphale knows this society is more open to people having relationships in any way they like, but there are still expectations to have children and some families are more accepting than others. Aziraphale turns away from the youths who moved a little further down and his thoughts stray into the unhappy memories of Sodom and Gomorrah and the cruelty and pure despicability of Sandalphon. He could never stand him, God forgive him, but now... The young men have clearly forgotten about him as the noises coming from the tall grass are becoming much louder and he moves to stand and walk away to leave them in peace in the lovely dusk when suddenly he hears one of them shout "angel!" Aziraphale panics, frozen in place, not knowing what to do. What happened? How did they know? Do they...need him? He's confused but doesn't move as they don't appear or seem to have stopped in their...activities.

The soft kissing and moaning sounds are definitely peppered with quiet and not so quiet calls of one of them calling the other angel. They use their names too, but more often it's my love and angel.

Aziraphale thinks back to the times Crawley called him angel... on the Wall of Eden for the first time...but he didn't mean anything by it. Was mocking him if anything. He has always thought Crawley loved to use his celestial nature to gently mock him. And his white robes and fluffy curls...

When did... when did humans pick it up. And why. Uh, why are they using his nature as a...um, expression of ... love.

Aziraphale shakes his head. Surely it is only because angels are good, well... are supposed to be good, and light and truth. Even if their true forms can be somewhat terrifying to humans (he has since learned to tone down the shining when he's delivering a message). Some angels however... And even if this is not a place angels visit frequently, not like Moses's people who he now has to go and guide, they still might have heard of them. Yes, that must be it. They have changed the meaning of the love angels should be....changed it a little but, it's nothing he can't forgive.

Aziraphale leaves quietly and smiles to himself at the gentle whispering and giggles he hears from the young couple. He's always thought love was the most gorgeous thing that happens to humans.

Why is thinking of Crawley once again.... well no matter. Aziraphale's sure they will cross path soon enough and he will ask him why he calls him angel and what does he mean by that.

He never does though. Ask him.

"Angel!" Crawley shouts across the street when he spots his spotless enemy some 40 years later after the evening just described, in a small village near the Dead Sea. Aziraphale turns to return a greeting when he suddenly has Crawley's lips pressed against his in the brief way some people here tend to greet each other. "Join me for dinner?" Crawley asks, huge grin on his face, "you must tell me what brings you here, can't be bathing as your skin is perfect."

Aziraphale blushes, struggles to find words and never asks about the nickname.

CROWLEY + CALLING AZIRAPHALE ANGEL

[deathsdoorproject]

HE SAID THE THIBG

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale did it for Crowley

And it was terrifying and it might backfire horribly and it hurts and will haunt the angel to the end of ... eternity, but he loves his demon and so he took the HARDER path.

[accumulated-error]

Smoking that shit that made Big Bob or whatever

[dalliancekay]

And it is All. Aziraphale's. Fault.

NO IT FUCKING ISN'T HIS FAULT

First of all: I'm pretty sure every time we see Az and Crowley in the past, Crowley is wearing whatever is the height of fashion while Aziraphale wears things that are well made but several decades out. Meaning he is wearing them for a good while. Swapping his clothes around when they become maybe too worn, maybe too conspicuous.

Walking the clean, gas-lit avenues with Crowley and Elspeth, Aziraphale is oblivious to the privilege he has in this world.

Really? Was he born yesterday? He has no idea how the world works?

the angel spouts trite pontifications created by the rich to justify poverty. He genuinely believes Elspeth has more opportunities for goodness.  After all, look at Wee Morag. 

It wasn't invented by the rich. It was 'invented' or used rather by the church that got used by the rich to keep the poor in place. There is no way you can blame Aziraphale for this. All he wanted is for Elspeth not to end up in Hell. Which Crowley wanted too, after he saw how upset it made Aziraphale. That's not fucking wrong. And you can't tell me either that rich have more opportunities to do good. Or that they do so. Or that more of them go to Heaven.

The inequality in humanity? Well, Adam and Eve had nothing. We have caused all this bullshit to ourselves. Nothing to do with Aziraphale. Or Crowley.

He respects her goodness tremendously.  It proves to him his “rightness.” 

Did you mean to say, he's glad she's not heading for Hell.

And so he sabotages Elspeth’s attempt to sell the body she dug up in her attempt to support Wee Morag.  Dalrymple gets no body, Elspeth gets no money, and Aziraphale believes he’s saving her soul.

He WAS saving her soul. Remember? Heaven and Hell being real places you go to when you die in GO?

Selling stolen bodies puts good in the world.  He’s all for it now, and goes back to encourage Elspeth.  Good heavens, he’s even willing to help this time!

Maybe next time try to be a bit more condescending to someone who just learned something new. And IMMEDIATELY changed his mind about it. Plus, Crowley had no idea digging up bodies could be spun to be a good thing either. He was learning just as much as Aziraphale. But I haven't seen one single FUCKING META about how Crowley was completely disinterested in Elspeth and her life. Only in having his usual argument with Aziraphale. Until he didn't. (And as I pointed out, he wasn't right about - you have start people off equal, people did start off equal, we are just assholes)

But, as we know, it all goes wrong.  Wee Morag is shot by a grave gun, and dies of her injuries.  Elspeth steals laudanum, and plans suicide. 

In other words, everyone makes their own choices, things go badly for Wee Morag. Maybe re-watch the ep and see how Elspeth doesn't blame Aziraphale (or Crowley) for what happened. So why do you?

Crowley drinks the laudanum, saves her in a compassionate Scottish frenzy, and is stolen away by hell because of his kindness.  

Is he? Or is he taken cos he sent two guards directly down to Hell, alerting them?

And it is All. Aziraphale's. Fault.

(I deleted what I wrote here)

He considers all of the money he casually spends on fine clothing and expensive tailoring.  He wonders how many lives could change if that money was better spent on helping to relieve the poverty that surrounds him. 

There's absolutely NOTHING in canon to support this. We can HC whatever we want sure, I for example think that Az wears things, as I said above, that are stylish but always out of fashion because it takes him time to find the right things and then he wears them for decades and decades. Because that's what is suggested by the canon, by the care he puts into his clothes and how well loved they are. The fact that 'male' fashion got less flamboyant down the centuries was not Aziraphale's decision. I for example HC too that Azi, when building his bookshop, and using his own, earned money as you rightly say, was spending miracles on making sure his workers didn't injure themselves, that he spent miracles looking after the street urchins in the very poor neighbourhood he has chosen to settle in (as opposite to say Mayfair). And that when Gabriel told him off for using too many 'frivolous miracles' in 1792 he got mad and decided to go to Paris like the stupid angel he apparently is and get, say, ravished by his enemy who would surely find him helpless and not able to save himself in a prison.

What would Crowley do, if he were free to be kind? And so Aziraphale changes.

Yes, because Aziraphale is an asshole who cares about nobody, and nothing, right?

the angel who took too long justifying a life-saving miracle for Wee Morag

Because he's NOT ALLOWED TO INTERVENE.

who hesitated to give Elspeth his 90 Guineas

Do you think he should have just worked and worked and give all his money to poor people? Is that the answer to all the world's problems? Making Aziraphale poor?

willingly and freely gave Maggie forgiveness for thousands of pounds of debt

Why wouldn't he. It's his property and I am sure he lends it to Maggie for significantly less than anyone else would have. Definitely less than those 'gentlemen' in the book who come and try to persuade the angel from time to time to sell his bookshop.

I'd love to know what else he's done over the last 180+ years!

He's been the kind, big hearted angel he always was. Looking after his shop, his tenants and anyone else who he could. Saving babies in prams and making sure shady men never came back. Looking out for Crowley, trying to keep him out of trouble, worrying about him, keeping an eye out to see if he's not doing something reckless. Finding out the demon wants to rob a church, handing him the one thing that could take him away forever with the heaviest of hearts. While of course, Crowley was doing the same thing. Not giving in to Aziraphale's princess act in the Bastille because he knew it would not ultimately end well for them. Understanding when Aziraphale said no to a date in 1967, not surprised since he remembered well what happened in 1941 when they were seen together.

*** YES if Aziraphale did absolutely nothing on the graveyard, Wee Morag would have probably lived a bit longer. How much longer though... and they would very likely end up in Hell, because they would have had to do much more crime down the road. Maybe even get hanged for graverobbing. Also see: Aziraphale just wanted to help. Did you never make a mistake??? He didn't mean to hurt anyone. If he did nothing, he'd never have learned yet another way the world is complicated and not black and white. Crowley was going to do nothing at all, just have a laugh at someone robbing a grave. No one cares. He's a demon. He stopped Elspeth from killing herself and everyone applauds, yes, it is super kind of him, and dangerous for him too, but it is the right thing to do. He didn't want her to go to Hell either.

The people who think they would have figured everything out before any events happened at all...well, good luck in your life.

And people who think Az should have done nothing - okay then. Let's just all do nothing at all, hoping we avoid all the bad things. Also: Changing the world is not done via charity but via changing the society, creating better welfare systems, housing, medical care, education. Those are things one lone angel (and his husband) can't do. And it's not their place anyway. I have like 5 pounds in my bank account (I hope) and yet I am not blaming someone well-off for that. It's the systems that are failing us. Much like the systems failed Aziraphale and Crowley. Putting two wonderful beings through so much pain because - that's how it is done.

And as I have said a million times before, Aziraphale is not learning some morality lesson in GO (HE IS A WONDERFUL, GOOD, KIND, GENEROUS, BRAVE BEING ALREADY), he doesn't need to get off his high horse, he doesn't need to finally 'see things clearly'. He knows how fucked the system he lives in is. He's just trying to help. Even Crowley says (in the book) that Heaven is the better option over Hell. However fucked it is.

Aziraphale learns from Crowley that he can question things, yes. But not in some, oh he's so blind and stuck and deep in some dogma bullshit. NO. He was always told things will happen a certain way. That Earth gets 6000 years tops. That God Herself made a Plan. It may be Ineffable, but it is a Plan.

I'm sorry, if you think you are far smarter than this and you would have figured out that God is telling porkies, good for you, I'm glad such intellects exists.

Because Crowley also didn't know the Plan could be changed until the end of S1. Yes he asked Az to try stop Armageddon but I don't think he really believed they could. He just wanted to give it a go. Cos - well what did he have to lose?

And they did change it. They held Adam's hands and they told him to be himself and when Gabe and Beez wanted to go ahead anyway Az confused them by asking about which Plan said what. So yes, he learns to question things. And he learned that from Crowley. And Crowley? Who was abandoned by the one Being who was always supposed to love him? Well. Crowley looks into those blue eyes and trusts.

The Night That Changed an Angel (or, why does Aziraphale still wear that shabby vest?)

Mini-Meta Musing (#4)

I've been brooding for a long time about, of all things, Aziraphale's worn velvet vest and the long cream jacket he's kept in "tip top condition for over 180 years now." I love the sweet familiarity, but this is the same angel who popped across the Channel and almost lost his fluffy-topped head in 1793 for dressing like an aristocrat.

"I have standards!"

He's the height of elegance, extravagance even. A dandy. We've seen the same at the Globe Theater 1601, Edinburgh 1827, and even as a Knight of the Round Table in 527 Essex, where he's wearing a glorious pelt across his shoulders! However, sometime after Edinburgh 1827, Aziraphale's stylish extravagance ends. He adopts the dress of distinguished but modest gentility. No seamstresses strain their eyes for days hand stitching ruffles and trims for him any longer. When we next see him in 1862, his clothing is refined, simple, and serviceable. It becomes his uniform, with only minor replacements. Why? What happened to change him?

Edinburgh 1827 happened. And his encounter with tragedy ran over his sensibilities like a locomotive.

Aziraphale had, we were told, saved his earnings over time and had bought land, invested wisely, and became quite well off. He used real money, not miracles, to build the bookshop, paying the builders well and taking care of bills honestly. He built himself up to a more than comfortable lifestyle, from nearly nothing. And his clothes are real, not miracled from nothingness like Crowley's. (source: original showrunner)

Aziraphale's wealth allows him to afford luxurious tailoring and fancy shoes and ruffles and trims. He'll certainly pay the cobblers and tailors and seamstresses well for their labors. It will be a substantial expense for the era. (The linked post gives a wonderful perspective on 1793 lifestyles and costs.)

https://agoodflyting.tumblr.com/post/753227014283083776/why-aziraphales-white-satin-pumps-are-ridiculous

The angel's Edinburgh multilayered and trimmed top coat, soft leather gloves, matching scarf, jacquard vest, silk cravat, etc., look entirely out of place in the back alleys where the poor huddle. Walking the clean, gas-lit avenues with Crowley and Elspeth, Aziraphale is oblivious to the privilege he has in this world.

As he strolls along in philosophical banter with Crowley about the "blessing" of poverty, the angel spouts trite pontifications created by the rich to justify poverty. He genuinely believes Elspeth has more opportunities for goodness.  After all, look at Wee Morag.  He respects her goodness tremendously.  It proves to him his “rightness.”  And so he sabotages Elspeth’s attempt to sell the body she dug up in her attempt to support Wee Morag.  Dalrymple gets no body, Elspeth gets no money, and Aziraphale believes he’s saving her soul.

It’s a poignant moment, though, when Aziraphale cradles the jar containing a tumor from a seven year old child who died because there wasn’t enough medical knowledge to save him.  Turning point number one.  It becomes Real, not a philosophical debate.  Selling stolen bodies puts good in the world.  He’s all for it now, and goes back to encourage Elspeth.  Good heavens, he’s even willing to help this time!

But, as we know, it all goes wrong.  Wee Morag is shot by a grave gun, and dies of her injuries.  Elspeth steals laudanum, and plans suicide.  Crowley drinks the laudanum, saves her in a compassionate Scottish frenzy, and is stolen away by hell because of his kindness.   And it is All. Aziriphale’s. Fault.

Turning point number two.  Another watershed moment where Aziraphale’s world changes again.

One of Crowley’s last earthly acts, before getting plunged into hell, is to have Aziraphale give Elspeth all of his pocket money.  What is pocket money to the angel is a fortune to her, one that can set her up for a better life.  I have no doubt that in the aftermath of the traumas of that night, missing and worrying about Crowley, Aziraphale thinks about all of this.  He considers all of the money he casually spends on fine clothing and expensive tailoring.  He wonders how many lives could change if that money was better spent on helping to relieve the poverty that surrounds him.  He wants to help, and to try to make amends for the harm he caused.  What would Crowley do, if he were free to be kind? And so Aziraphale changes.

I’d love to know the story of how it all played out.  Did he sell his fine clothing and donate the proceeds?  Did he become involved in charitable foundations?  Did he buy the clothing of a simple gentleman and decide to preserve it, however worn it became, as a reminder to himself of his past blindness and vanity?  We see in Season 1 how important it is to him to preserve that coat. (Sure, it's also a fantastic opportunity to flirt and flutter those angelic eyelashes... But, nonetheless!)

By Season 2, the angel who took too long justifying a life-saving miracle for Wee Morag, and who hesitated to give Elspeth his 90 Guineas, willingly and freely gave Maggie forgiveness for thousands of pounds of debt. I'd love to know what else he's done over the last 180+ years!

Whatever happened, it began that night in a graveyard.

[kissbeginswithkay]

rewatched the willoughbys and am currently watching the cup head show and Two things have happened that just My Gender:

Cuphead's character "Mrs. Mr. Mayor". literally me.

and Jane Willoughby with a mustache at the end of the movie, I've always preferred a lighter mustache type of masculine look rather than a full mustache

(AND she has eyelashes?? guys I'm literally a perfect mix of girl and boy this is exactly what I'm talking about) (also I'll have alt text for pics in the description and in the pic, makes it easier for everyone, it's under the cut)

[Image Description for Picture 1/Picture on the left: Screenshot of Jane Willoughby from the movie The Willoughbys. She's a white girl with long straight red hair and black glasses. She has a peach fuzz red mustache. She's wearing a green shirt with round puffed shoulders. There's a flared and cut white neckpiece and short sleeves. She's in the middle of talking. Her mouth is open, her eyes are wide, and she's holding her hands on the side almost like a shrug. There's blue windows and a blue counter in the background with a jar of orange candy on the counter. End description.]

[Image Description for Picture 2/Picture on the right. Screenshot of Jane Willoughby from the movie The Willoughbys. She's a white girl with long straight red hair and black glasses. She has a peach fuzz red mustache. She's wearing a green shirt with round puffed shoulders. There's a flared and cut white neckpiece and short sleeves. She has a smug expression. Her eyes are half lidded, she has a smug smile, and her fists are on her sides. There's blue windows and a blue counter in the background. End description.]