#...lord forgive me for the wall episode 13 has driven me utterly insane

[rinmession]

Now that the mania of having just seen ep 13 has worn off for me (I may have gotten a little excited), I'm more conflicted about the play segment's implications for Sakiko and Hatsune. Oblivionis's judgement of Doloris and her exclusion from knighthood carry harsh implications for Hatsune's place in Mujica, and it's really interesting squaring the circle of that judgement landing at the same time as Sakiko's acceptance of her true self and appeasement of her obsession. A lot of rambling below:

I can't read the play segment in 13 without getting the sense that Sakiko, as author, is shaming Hatsune. How else can we read Oblivionis knighting everyone but Doloris, walking past her and saying that she's no knight of hers due to her insincerity in seeking oblivion, her deeper desire to "See" her god overtaking any desire to forget? It's uncannily close to the vitriol Hatsune spits at herself in her own play, accusing herself of yearning for Sakiko and her pity--and what is Doloris doing if not seeking the pity of the goddess over and over, drawn back to Oblivionis every time she forgets? It's as though Sakiko is answering that she won't have that, that she sees through Hatsune to her impure desires. Doloris must plead to forget even her sorrow, even Oblivionis to be with her (Watch this space.), but even when she goes so far-- she does not acknowledge her as her knight. That's really twisting the knife! If the text itself isn't enough, then Sakiko scowling at Hatsune like she does in Imprisoned XII gives visual weight to this denouncement. It sits curiously beside episode 12, wherein Sakiko definitely offered Hatsune the blessing of forgetfulness without condemnation. Not only did she bear confession to her sins, but she less falls and more dives off the cliff into appeasing Hatsune's obsession-- reaffirming that she'd given her her life and intends to keep it even knowing the truth of her identity, declaring to her grandfather that she's going to live with her, and marching right back up to the attic Hatsune was so giddy to Imprison her in. It makes it harder for me to see this so definitively as Sakiko decrying her as a 'Judas' outside her circle of apostleknights, no matter my drooling. Furthermore, despite what the play implies Hatsune hardly seems chastened, whether in the brief bits we see her before the performance ('it feels like we're doing something bad pleading emoji' DOWN GIRL. DOWN) nor in her singing-- look how happy she is in Musica Caelestis. This isn't the face of a woman shamed, but one exactly where she wants to be in the haze of Ave Mujica's dream.

So what's going on here? My current theory is that the depiction in the play is partly a retelling of her path to Mujica like the rest, and partly a warning for the future. Sakiko has accepted Hatsune, but sees her impure motives and bids Hatsune to forget them in their very fulfillment. Most simply, it's a retelling of 9-12. As AmoMortTim reflect their woes that lead them back to Ave Mujica in 10, Doloris being revealed for her true desires may be reflective of Hatsune's literal unmasking-- her true reason for being in Mujica beneath the lie of Uika, despite already pledging herself to the band / seeking knighthood. Oblivionis's frustration with Doloris echoes her screaming off the ferry about being sick of the 'entanglements' and Hatsune's stubborn clinging to her sins. Here's where it stretches a little further, though it's the same line of 'forgetting' Sakiko speaks of in 12. If Doloris wants to be with Oblivionis, she must truly forget. Doloris swears not only to forget her sorrow, but to forget Oblivionis herself. In forgetting 'Oblivionis', Hatsune must forget the obsession that had brought her to Mujica in the first place-- for that twisted love is inextricably tied to her sorrow, both its fuel and byproduct. Hatsune calls herself unforgivable and hesitates to return with Sakiko in part because of it---and so she must forget it too, if she truly wishes to stay by her side. And in this, it's not just a retelling, but a warning. Sakiko knows Hatsune wants her obsessively and that it's her true motivation to be in Mujica, but that same obsession makes it impossible to forget. If you keep that desperate need in your heart Hatsune, you'll always be weighed down by your sins again some day-- and I won't keep wiping that clean for you forever. So she must start fresh-- stay by her side, but forget the reason why. So cuts the gordian knot, right?

This is where they're at now in their happy reverie. Hatsune is trying to leave everything behind just to stand at Sakiko's side, acting like everything's normal. That is forgetting her sorrow. Though she tells Sakiko she loves her, she leaves her with that and goes no further. I may very well be stretching, but I think this is forgetting 'you'. Her love is not, for now, overwhelming. They're living a new life together, unencumbered by their pasts. This is why Hatsune is so happy despite the premise of her shaming, because she wants this too-- for now, at least, she wants to leave it all behind, and she can happily be by Sakiko's side in the dream. That said, there's a couple things that leave me troubled for the future, especially now that there'll be a season 3:

1. Oblivionis still does not knight Doloris after she pledges to forget everything 5 real this time.

2. Doloris is explicitly said to have forgotten many times, yet has come back to paradise each time due to her desire.

The absence of a knighthood still makes me think Sakiko is chastening Hatsune. Maybe she doesn't quite trust her. It's no coincidence Oblivionis looks at Doloris with such cold eyes. Hatsune is set apart from the rest of Ave Mujica, and Doloris in the play only forgets so that she can be by Oblivionis's side-- her intentions remain impure, even if she's leaving them behind to achieve them. Sakiko's acceptance has terms, and perhaps Hatsune must prove herself. She hasn't yet.

...But is Hatsune truly capable of that? To the second point, Doloris's story seems to me quite ominous for the implications of their future. No matter how many times she forgets, it never sticks, and she comes crawling back to paradise. Though Oblivionis has intervened this time and threatened her exclusion, will this time truly be different? Hatsune's feelings for Sakiko, even forgotten, are the reason she's here. She dreams now, but some day it will end, and those feelings will be waiting for her. The solution of forgetting Sakiko to be with Sakiko is fascinatingly paradoxical. Sakiko living with Hatsune, sleeping behind the same bars of her attic, in the same breath of telling Hatsune to forget her, forget even her sorrow-- feels sort of like telling an alcoholic they can drink as long as they're not addicted, while putting a fully stocked bar in their house. Though they're free of the past, Sakiko is Right There. She Is The Past. She's accessible, and right where she's always wanted her. How can she forget her when she's right there by her side, closer than she's ever been? How can she lose sight of her when she has a tighter grip on her than ever before in her life?

For the moment, I think this is Sakiko's way of setting boundaries and starting fresh. And for what it's worth-- Hatsune is accepting it, smiling radiantly in the dream where she has forgotten Sakiko yet stands by her side. Good luck girls.