#17 year old ben writing abt terrifying anger and being tired of putting evryone first and being alive alive alive after being dead dead dead
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in high school I would write little poems after almost every therapy appointment about what I talked about in them and I have them all in a google doc and reading through them I'm like damn. he doesn't even know that cql is going to kill him
#looking at the things I was struggling with like yeah no wonder that show grasped me by the shoulders and hasn't let go!!!#17 year old ben writing abt terrifying anger and being tired of putting evryone first and being alive alive alive after being dead dead dead#honey you've got a big storm comin#like two months before I watched cql I wrote#'it's almost like I grew up thinking I'd have a terminal illness and so now I am unexpectedly living and doing so as a ghost'#he doesn't even know that cql is going to kill him!!!!!#I really did watch cql at the exact right time#thank you wei wuxian for being there at the closing act of my teenage angst and climax of my recovery from severe trauma#ghost posts#text
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