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levi501ackerman · 7 months ago

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Steel Heart Chapter 27:

Curiosity of the Abyss

Hange x Reader Chapter Index Masterlist AO3

Megan's Note: After Steel Heart I'm only posting long fics on AO3 cuz I like the way it's set up better. It's easier. I'll post one shots and shorter fics on tumblr. But I started Steel Heart on tumblr and wanted to commit to finishing and making it accessible on tumblr. Posted: 12/1/24

Word Count: 5666 lmao

Warning: Sexual themes

The ride to Orvud District was long. Very long. Levi and Hange were convinced that, with a small group, they could reach Orvud District by the end of the day. They hooked two horses to each cart, and everyone went ahead at full speed. Nearly two hundred tents, twelve horses, five knights, four carts, one bunny, and one Princess traveled thirteen hours on the grassy landscape. The sun's rays relentlessly shined on the traveling group, the heat subtly pinching and spreading red tones on exposed skin.

You were grateful Levi forced you to wear your cloak. The extra layer of fabric protected your neck and—with your hood—your scalp. Occasionally, you would glance at the cart holding Rai’s cage, feeling relieved at the sight of her cage. Most of her cage was wrapped in fabric so she wouldn’t have to deal with the wind.

From a few minutes after the crack of dawn to when the orange sunset flushed the west sky, the group rode to Orvud District, with Hange Zoe spearheading the expedition. With the droning rhythm of the horses’ hooves on the grass and the repetitive scenery, you couldn’t help but feel drowsy. Every so often throughout the day, your hold on Levi’s waist tightened as you rested your cheek on his back. Your eyelids drooped heavily as you were about to fall asleep, only for Levi to nudge you awake.

The sun was behind the walls to the west, and energy surged through your veins when Orvud District’s outer gate appeared into view. However, Eren, Connie, and Niccolo’s faces were dull and blank. The long journey was tiring, but the end was in sight.

It was almost dark when you and the knights entered the Orvud District. The glow from the street lamps and the lights inside the pristine homes and buildings lit the path to the headquarters. Few to no citizens were outside; they were inside the comfort of their warm and beautiful homes. Some did peak through their windows because of the sounds of the horses’ hooves beating the clean concrete.

Orvud was very much like Stohess—another inner district home to wealthier citizens and closer to Mitras Castle. The shrubbery along the sidewalks was well-kept and beautiful, and the buildings' architecture was crafted with care. The main street you traveled on was nearly identical on both sides. There wasn’t a piece of trash in sight and the citizens who happened to be outside were dressed in lavish long coats. The coats didn’t appear for cold weather, but they looked attractive, soft, and like they were made to impress others. You couldn’t help but want a nice long coat like them.

The familiar steel gates surrounding the district headquarters screeched open and you felt the eyes of the guards. There were only six of you and the realization caused several baffling stares. A woman with platinum blonde hair and an older man with brown hair, a mustache, and a beard exited the grand oak doors.

Without verbally giving the order, all the knights halted at the front and Hange climbed off their horse. As they approached the officials at the entrance, Levi started climbing off Beauty. Hange was too far to hear what they were saying, but the platinum blonde and the bearded man's reaction was obvious. They were shocked. Their mouths were slightly dropped in horror and you could see the man’s face laced with anger. You couldn't tell if he was mad at Hange or at what they were saying.

“Why do you think they’re upset?” You whispered to Levi as he helped you down from Beauty. You noticed the two looking at you and you couldn’t help but feel self-conscious—feel at fault.

“They sent nearly a hundred and fifty knights, only for us to return with none. That’s why.” Their curious eyes, analyzing and taking in your form, felt more like they were pointing fingers at you. You turned away, not allowing them to look at your face. “Princess . . .” Levi’s tone was calm and comforting, but you couldn’t meet his eyes. “Those knights volunteered and knew the risks of heading to the temple. They wanted you to be liberated and dedicated their hearts to the greater good of humanity. The Founder can not revive the other eight intelligent titans because of their effort in rescuing you.”

“ . . . Does it ever get easier?” You glanced at Rai’s cage on the cart.

“Yes.”

“Do you miss the ones you’ve known for so long?”

“I carry their memories everywhere I go . . .” His words trailed behind you as you walked to the cart. That’s all you can do when you miss someone. Carry their memories. It’s not fair, and there’s nothing you did to deserve to live longer than another person. So what if you were meant to be a Queen because you were born from two particular people. You could have easily been born on the other side . . . chained to the bed and raising the children you were impregnated with. You are not better than someone without status—you never thought you were. Though it wasn’t that long ago and yet buried in the past, a citizen from Shiganshina was who you always will be.

You reached over your head for Rai’s cage on the cart. It was placed on top of some wooden boxes of food and tools. The fabric wrapped around most of the cage was cool to the touch and when you lifted Rai’s cage, Rai shuffled around nervously.

“It’s me . . .” You soothed. “Were you scared during the ride? I’m sorry.”

You held Rai’s cage against your chest and peered down at her. Her ears perked up at the sight of you and she sniffed between the openings of the cage. You felt several pairs of eyes on you as you poked your finger and stroked the top of Rai’s head.

Several guards approached the group, offering to take the horses. Hange was making their way to Levi, and they were more relaxed than when speaking to the two officials. You put a friendly smile on your face, ready for Hange to admire when they look in your direction. Besides staring at the back of Hange’s head while their short hair flew in the wind, you haven’t interacted with Hange much all day.

Jean, Eren, Connie, and Niccolo began taking bags of possessions and other essential items off their horses. A few guards solemnly eyed the two carts filled with their comrades' possessions and tents. Your smile dropped and your chest twinged at the fact that they might have to sort and deliver the terrible news to their comrade’s families.

“Hey . . .” Hange’s voice sparked your attention. The smile returned to your face at the sight of theirs. The low light of the warm glowing lamps around the district headquarters contrasting the dark sky made Hange’s skin glow beautifully. “How does a honey-glazed ham sound after a warm shower?”

“It sounds wonderful,” Hange was glowing so radiantly that it took you a moment to realize Levi was standing beside them.

“Your little furry friend isn’t welcomed in the headquarters,” Levi said, and you rolled your eyes.

“Oh Levi, I can’t just leave Rai with the horses.”

“There are no wild animals allowed inside the headquarters.”

“When are you going to accept this is my child?” Hange burst out laughing and doubled over; your heart swelled at the thought of making Hange laugh again.

“It’s a wild rabbit that you captured.” Levi crossed his arms.

“Actually, Hange captured it and I’m sure if I ask nicely, they’ll let me bring Rai in.” You tugged on Hange’s wrist and marched to the two officials at the front. They obliged in following you with your perky attitude. The man with the beard slightly nudged the woman beside him when he noticed you and Hange approaching the front of the Headquarters. The woman with platinum blonde hair and the bearded man knelt on one knee, placing their right fist over their hearts.

“You’re Highness.” They both said simultaneously, and their words instantly reminded you of your destiny. It startled you for a moment. You’re not just a person having fun with your friends; you’re a Princess. A lady has to have presentable behavior.

“Oh, uh, thank you.” You held Rai’s cage close, ready to ask about her. The two awkwardly glanced at each other with their faces scrunched into confusion.

“Welcome to Orvud District Headquarters!” The two officials got on their feet cautiously. “My name is Rico Brzenska and this is Kitz Woermann.”

“Good Evening Princess Y/N. I hope you sleep well tonight.” The bearded man said. His dark brown eyes trailed to Rai in her cage.

“It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for letting us stay here . . . I just have a question.”

“Yes?” Kitz’s eyebrows slightly rose, and wrinkles appeared on his forehead.

“Well . . . I heard that animals aren’t allowed in the headquarters.” You glanced down at Rai.

“That’s correct.”

“Where are we going to stay now ?” You asked Hange and they couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh. Their shoulders shook slightly from the force of their laughter. It amused them how you concluded going elsewhere because Rai wasn’t allowed inside.

“Princess, I am sure it will be alright for Rai to stay in your room tonight,” Rico said kindly, and round glasses framed her friendly blue eyes.

“Might I add, Princess, I have been keeping your poor mother in my thoughts. I wish her nothing but good health.” Kit said and Rico nodded.

“I’m very sorry to hear about the Queen’s illness. Your mother is a resilient woman. I bet she’s fighting to stay alive to see you once again.” Rico sincerely said. You weren’t sure how to react to someone you didn’t really know. You couldn’t help but feel awful about the Queen being ill for so long. There was a sorrowful feeling in knowing your mother was on her deathbed, longing to see you once more.

All the knights were led up to the 4th floor, where extra rooms were. Since there were many open rooms and each of the knights had a room to themselves. You and Hange took the room at the end of the corridor. Like the Karanese room, a window framed the view toward the inner gate. The light from the streetlamps shined down on the clean, symmetrical street. The stars were bright against the dark sky, and feeling entirely safe again was a humble feeling.

Being inside a building, within a city and walls, the Marleyan Cult would have difficulty getting through all the people who would lay down their lives for their future Queen. Or perhaps it could be like the night at the Karanese District Headquarters. Where dozens of cultists ambushed and were fighting outside the headquarters. The same night where Hange saved your life.

You furrowed your eyebrows at the memory of Hange and Willy Tybur. When Hange pulled Willy Tybur out of his titan form, they spoke to each other. What did they talk about? You were too far away to hear them because they were on top of the wall, but what did they speak about?

There was a knock at the door, and Hange stopped unpacking their belongings to open it. Behind it was a man collecting the laundry. You and Hange gave the kind man the dirty clothes you weren’t wearing and the man pleasantly went on his way.

As you returned to the small bed on your side of the room, Hange pinched your back.

“We should get clean like our clothes,” Hange smirked and waved a hand in front of their nose. You shook your head at their playful nonsense.

“Hey! We’re both smelly.”

“I don’t know, Princess, I think you beat me on this one . . .” Hange said whimsically. You shoved Hange, but with your lack of strength, you barely made them stumble backward. “Woah there. You don’t want to start a fight you won’t win.”

“You’ll let me win, Hange Zoe!” Hange raised both their hands, surrendering to your adorable aggressiveness.

“I suppose I wouldn’t want to hurt the future Queen.” Hange walked to their bed on the other side of the room while shrugging.

“Oh, are you quitting before the fight even started because you know you’ll lose?!” You dashed over to Hange and jumped on them. You both pummeled onto the bed with you on Hange’s back. Hange let out a yelp as their face hit the mattress. They squirmed under you as you tried to pin down their arms. You could hear Hange’s muffled giggling against the mattress.

“MY GLASSES!” Hange muffled into the mattress. You caught your breath while giggling, releasing the force from Hange’s arms. Hange lifted their head and you gently pulled their wired-rimmed glasses from their face. Hange’s face was flushed pink and you couldn’t help but adore them. You carefully placed Hange’s glasses on the tiny wooden nightstand. Then returned to pinning down Hange’s arms.

“Fight back!” Hange laid on the bed, accepting their defeat. “Come on, Hange, it’s no fun if you’re not fighting back.”

“I’m letting you win.”

“Yeah, but at least act like you’re fighting against me a little.”

“Maybe I like being your prisoner . . .” You smiled at their ridiculousness and then grabbed their wrists and put them behind their back.

“Alright then, you’re my prisoner! I don’t know what to do with you since you already caught me a bunny, but—”

“Do anything you want to me.”

“Then you have to twin with me once our clothes are clean!”

“Do anything you want to me.” Hange wiggled their eyebrows with a smirk. Something was alluring in the way Hange’s doe eye looked up at you from being pinned beneath you. Chills scattered across your face, feeling exposed as if Hange could read your thoughts. You hoped they couldn’t read your mind, or else they’d know you were thinking of them without clothes. How would Hange’s chiseled back look if they weren’t wearing their yellow shirt? You hoped they couldn’t read your mind, or else they’d know you were thinking of them flipped over on their back with their breasts exposed to the cold air. Their nipples perked, the swell of their breasts full, and Hange at your mercy.

“W-Well like I said, you’re twinning with me.” The waver in your voice was obvious, and you didn’t want it to be true, but it seemed like Hange knew what you were thinking. They orchestrated it, after all.

Hange planted a seed and thoughts of desire sprouted at their will. You wouldn’t tell a soul, but it was easy to cave into your imagination while showering. Your hands were Hange’s hands and it was easy to imagine their touch as their hands roamed your soapy body. From your chest . . . to your stomach . . . your thighs . . .

Hange was in the shower stall next to yours and curiosity piqued your interest in what Hange could be thinking. They would be pleased to know you thought of them while washing yourself. The pattering of water and large droplets of water striking the floor filled the women’s washroom. Do you infect Hange’s mind like how Hange infects yours? Perhaps the silence was like a shield for privacy.

There was a metallic creak, and Hange’s water stopped falling from the showerhead. It was a sign to finish washing yourself, and your lustful thoughts took up most of the shower time.

It was adorable how Hange wrapped a towel around their hair and it sat on their head. By the time you were done showering, drying off, and dressing yourself, they were on the other side of the washroom where the sinks were. Hange was brushing their teeth. It was a familiar and peaceful feeling to see Hange doing a simple act. Hange brushing their teeth felt warm and domestic.

Though you have thought of Hange living with you in your dream cottage, it didn’t occur to you until now how badly you wanted it. It’s so perfect—your dream. So plausible. If only you could run away from your destiny . . .

There was a knot in your throat, and it was hard to swallow. Prince Marco Bodt is the man you would marry. Could you have it all? Keep Hange and succumb to destiny? You avoided your reflection as you approached Hange and stepped in front of the mirror above the sink. This moment—this simple domestic feeling—might be the only moment you get to feel this way with Hange.

It’s hard to accept destiny when it will take your only choice away from you. There’s no higher entity. Nothing substantial, nothing that could change your fate—only you gambling with terrible odds.

I am going to die if we get caught . . .

You cringed at Hange’s words.

If you’re caught Hange will suffer the consequences of both your actions. Not the Queen . . . only Hange.

You stared at yourself in the mirror with Levi’s warning looming over you. With a new sense of clarity, you questioned how fair it was for Hange. Even if you were both prepared to go through hardships, how much power did you actually have? How much could you actually protect Hange?

During dinner, while you forced yourself to eat the honey-glazed ham, Hange talked Levi’s ear off about a weapon they wanted to design. The ham was tender and juicy. It hit the spot after a long day, but your mind dwelled on the dreading arrival to Mitras Castle. You fed yourself on autopilot while your thoughts tangled and overlapped. The forced marriage with Prince Marco Bodt, meeting your parents, the fate of the Marleyan Cult, and the strain on the bond between you and Hange. The turmoil clattered and knotted itself in your brain. You passed it off as feeling tired when Hange and the knights kept asking if you were okay. It was obvious you were carrying a heavy load, but no one wanted to push you, except for Hange, who stared at you and could tell you were getting overwhelmed with your thoughts. They reframed themselves from asking you to share your worries and you were thankful for that.

The dining hall of the Orvud Headquarters was awfully quiet, especially since many of the knights who would have been dining during this time had died. Rico and Kitz, who greeted you earlier, sat across the room with a few other knights. Several times during dinner, you accidentally met Rico’s gaze and then darted your eyes back to your plate. You hoped she wasn’t thinking negatively of you, but she was obviously staring at you. Rico seemed nice and you didn’t think you did anything to upset her or cause her to think less of you. But you kept catching each other’s eye.

While you listened to Hange describe to Levi the idea that they coined ‘The Harpoon Gun,’ you were conjuring the courage to wave at Rico, hoping it would be a message of how much you noticed she was staring. Your eyes trailed in her direction across the room, and she was staring. Her crystal blue eyes were on yours and you gave a shy smile and waved at her. She returned a large smile and an enthusiastic wave. Then she stood from her table and started heading toward yours. You nudged Hange, who abruptly stopped their train of speech at your touch.

“Huh, what? What is it?” Hange sincerely asked. With your hand on the table, you discreetly pointed at Rico, who was approaching quickly.

“Rico kept staring at me and now she’s coming over here.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it! I’m sure everyone is keeping to themselves how excited they are to have the Princess in Orvud District.” Hange grinned, and you still were apprehensive about why Rico wanted to speak with you. “Hey Rico! The ham is delicious!”

“I’m glad you are enjoying it! It’s one of my favorites.” Eren, Connie and Niccolo gushed positively about the juicy ham.

“It’s really good,” Connie assured.

“Well, help yourself to more if you’d like. I know the kitchen has plenty!” Rico adjusted the wire-rimmed glasses on their nose. “Princess, I talked to the kitchen and they should bring you a small plate of vegetables and leafy greens for your bunny very soon.”

“Really?” You gasped and smiled excitedly at Hange and then turned to Rico. “Thank you, Rico!”

“You’re welcome,” Rico beamed and politely smiled. It was relieving to know Rai was staying inside the headquarters and that an official like Rico was enthusiastic. “Rai is adorable! How long have you had her?!”

“Hange caught her for me!”

“Against my orders.” Levi butted in, but Hange disregarded his comment and feigned a boastful attitude.

“Yeah, it only took . . . like ten times? Of me eating dirt to catch the precious thing.” Rico laughed at Hange’s exaggeration.

“Hange’s my prisoner; their punishment was to catch me a rabbit!” Levi sipped on his warm cup of tea as he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, does that mean Commander Dame Hange earned their freedom?” You looked to Hange, who playfully clasped their hands and gave you a hopeful smile as they acted like they were pleading with you. You rested your chin on your hand, propped up by your elbow, and drummed your fingers against the wooden table.

“Hmmm . . . I think not.” You gave Rico a large, innocent smile as Hange pretended to be filled with distraught.

“Here it is!” A kind man dressed in a double-breasted chef’s uniform came behind you, holding the plate for Rai. He set the plate on the table. It was filled with carrots, lettuce, kale, and a few basil leaves. The basil leaves reminded you of the day Hange caught Rai between the rows of basil on Flegel’s farm.

“Thank you so much, sir.” You politely said to the chef.

“Your Highness, it is an honor to meet you.” He said, kneeling on one knee and placing a fist over his heart.

“Nice to meet you too, sir. Thank you for bringing me this plate of food for my rabbit. I appreciate it.” He slowly got up from his position, unsure if it was the right thing to do.

“I’ve always heard you grew up away from the castle . . . may I ask a question?” The kind chef had crow's feet around his eyes, giving him a friendly appearance.

“Uh, sure.”

“Is it true you grew up in Shiganshina District?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, I am sorry about your home. The Marleyan Cult must have destroyed it along with most of the district.”

“Yeah . . . Thank you . . .”

“What districts have you visited?” You glanced at Hange, wondering how many more questions he would ask. Then you realized this might have been his only moment to ask the future Queen a few questions. You decided it wouldn’t hurt to answer the questions he had.

“I like this one. But I feel like I didn’t stay in the Karanese District long enough to judge, and we just spent a few hours in Stohess. It’s comfortable here, and everyone is nice.”

“That’s right, the Marleyan Cult attacked Karanese as well. I am sorry for the adversity you have endured.”

“Thank you.”

“I would also like to say I hope your mother has good fortunes and health.”

“Thank you, and thank you for my rabbit’s dinner.”

Time was ticking and it was almost nine o’clock when you finished dinner. It was wonderful to have a full stomach and feel squeaky clean. The knights agreed to eat breakfast and ride out of Orvud District at noon. It was peaceful and quiet in the Headquarters and for the first time in a while, you felt like the Marleyan Cult wasn’t chasing after you. There wasn’t a cult lurking in the shadows waiting to capture you.

Even though Hange beheaded Willy Tybur and a bag with his head was on a cart with the horses, there were still followers. There had to be believers still wanting to appoint a new leader. Can the founder exist without a host?

Once Hange shut the door to your room, your heart raced in your chest. You were mustering the courage to ask Hange the question. Only Hange knew Willy Tybur’s last words, but they haven’t willingly shared what they spoke about.

You felt calmer when you saw Rai in her cage on your nightstand. You gently placed the cage on the floor and opened it. Rai sprang out and hopped to your boots. Rai got on her hind legs, sniffing the air as she could smell there was food for her. You furrowed your eyebrows, noticing Rai really has grown quite a bit since seeing her on Flegel’s Farm. When you placed the small plate of leafy greens and carrots on the floor, Rai instantly went for the basil. A fond smile crept on your face and you relaxed, watching your adorable bunny eat.

“I don’t know how she’s still growing. One day, she might not fit into that cage anymore.” Hange joked, moving their belongings off their bed. They placed a few bags onto their nightstand. At Hange’s voice, the reminder of your curious nature returned. Your nails dug into the skin next to the nail bed of your thumb and you slowly approached Hange. They noticed your silence, and as if they could feel a bubble of anxious thoughts floating around you, they turned to you. “You okay?”

“Yeah . . . I just have a question.” Hange sat on the bed, and they reached their hands out for you. You let Hange take your hands and intertwine them with theirs. Their skin was soft and warm. You stepped between their knees and looked into their doe eye behind their glasses. Hange brought your right hand to their lips and placed a pleasant kiss upon the back of your hand. “What is it, my dear?”

Hange’s endearing actions created a secure moment you didn’t want to leave. The question on your mind stayed inside you, pondering whether to disturb the environment. Hange blinked, patiently waiting as the courage was heating and building in your mind. Then, like water hitting a boiling point, steam burst from the pot. Curiosity reached its peak and the question bursted from your lips.

“What did you and Willy Tybur talk about before you killed him?” Hange’s eye trailed slowly to the floor. Then they exhaled loudly and leaned forward, resting their head against your stomach. You weren’t sure if Hange would tell you what he said. Then, Hange wrapped their arms around you and held you. Their touch was delicate and soft, holding their dearest possession. You hugged Hange back, wanting to comfort and put them at ease.

“I wasn’t planning on telling you . . .” Hange pulled away from your hold and met your curious eyes. Hange was hesitant to speak. They didn’t want to add to your anxious nature. “He said, ‘The Founder can never die. There will always be someone hunting her. There is time until her twenty-fifth birthday.’ And that’s when I shut him up.” Could it be true? Though Dame Hange beheaded Cult Leader Willy Tybur, is the Cult still powerful enough to fight their cause? Killing the leader doesn’t kill the cult. There didn’t seem to be any obvious person next in line to lead the cult. The Marleyan Cult was weaker with their leader's unexpected murder, but could there be wards with the passion to obtain you?

Arriving at Mitras Castle seemed like the safest option, but then the strain on your and Hange’s bond will fester. Was there a way to get everything you want? You tried to ignore the thought of living safely in the castle, only to be unexpectedly attacked by the Marleyan Cult. Then, the Marleyan Cult captures you, takes you back to the temple, pricks your finger on a spindle, and forces you to be the host for whoever has the Founder’s Power.

“That’s not going to happen!” You assertively whispered and pulled away from Hange’s warmth. “Because I’m not going to be stupid and run off without you!” You placed your hands on their shoulders, feeling the cotton fabric of their yellow shirt. It was silent for a moment and you listened to the even rhythm of Hange’s breathing.

“I never want to be apart from you, ever again.” Hange affectionately squeezed your waist with their hands.

“We never will, right? We’ll always be together?” You rested your forehead against Hange’s. Two swans.

“Always forever.” Hange tilted their chin up and you felt their soft lips against yours. You kissed back, desperately wanting their touch, wanting them. The force of you wanting them—craving them pushed them backward. You felt Hange smile against your lips. They had you right where they wanted you. All the worries—all the fears melted away . . .

Hange pulled away and scooted backward on the bed, giving you room to join them. Your knee pressed into the mattress as you crawled on the bed, facing Hange, whose back was against the wall. Their glasses reflected the flickering glow of the candle lighting the dark room. It was like the candle illuminated only Hange and everything else faded into the abyss of the background. There’s only Hange. “You’re gorgeous, Y/N.”

Your eyes flickered to their plushy lips. Then you crawled onto Hange’s lap, feeling their body between your legs. You gently cupped Hange’s cheeks, leaned into them, and kissed their lips. Hange guided the motion, and you felt a stirring sensation between your legs. You felt a hand on your thigh and Hange used their other hand to tug the tucked blue shirt from the tan slacks you wore. Your heart panged in your chest as you felt Hange place their hand under your shirt.

They caressed your soft skin and then held you by your waist. You wanted to be seen. You wanted Hange to touch more. Hange kissed your cheek and trailed kisses toward your neck. You could feel the heat rise inside you as Hange kissed your neck. You breathed heavily, accepting Hange’s touch. They were peppering kisses down your neck and pulling the collar of your blue shirt, kissing your collarbones. You ached for more, and you put pressure on your hips, moving them against Hange’s lap. Their thighs, rubbing against your sensitive area, sent a pleasurable sensation between your legs.

Your slacks and underwear aided in adding friction against your most private area. You breathed heavily, enjoying the feeling of Hange’s thighs. Hange switched sides on your neck and you wanted Hange to feel good, too. You tilted your head and placed a kiss on Hange’s cheek. Your affection sparked Hange to rub their hand on your thigh gently, and the added feeling was overwhelming. Their touch, their body, and their affection was exhilarating. You gently pushed Hange’s shoulders, and they leaned back, glancing at your lips and then peering into your eyes. Both of your chests were heaving, trying to catch your breath.

“Can we . . . can we try kissing with our shirts off?” You whispered and there was a twinkle in Hange’s eye. The candle's flame added a warm hue to Hange’s skin and their brown eye was dilated. Hange slowly reached for the buttons of their shirt, not looking away from you. Their hands were slightly shaky as they undid the buttons.

You went for the buttons on your blue shirt nervously. Each button you undid was a moment closer to giving yourself to Hange. Hange’s shirt parted, revealing the skin on their chest as they got down to the last few buttons. They knew they were alluring, they knew you wanted to see their breasts, and they knew they were in control. Their eyes never left yours and they slowly peeled their shirt, exposing their chest. They draped the shirt off their shoulders and arms, tossing it on the floor. When you unbuttoned your shirt, Hange stared at the exposed skin of your chest, waiting for you to unveil the beauty underneath. Gingerly, you peeled the blue shirt off. You saw Hange’s admiration grow in their face. You copied Hange by throwing the blue shirt on the floor.

This moment was different than it ever was all the times by the river. The swell of Hange’s breast and them giving their body to you was intimate, unlike vulnerably cleaning yourself and trying to avoid glancing at each other’s parts. You were able to look at each other fully. Give each other a glance, a touch, yourself.

Hange closed their eye and their lashes framed their eyelid from behind their glasses. You leaned in, closing your eyes, and felt their eyes against yours. One of Hange’s hand returned to your thigh and the other trailed up your abdomen. Your heart was beating in your chest, anticipating the feeling of Hange touching you where you longed for them. When Hange cupped your left breast, you broke the kiss, breathing heavily at the overwhelming atmosphere. Hange placed kisses along your jawline while squeezing your breast. You panted in Hange’s ear as they reveled in the control they had. They gently pressed your breast in circular motions and your most private area ached for more friction.

You desperately pushed your hips against Hange’s thighs and grabbed Hange’s right breast, squeezing it, hoping it pleased Hange. They jerked at your touch.

“Gentle . . .” They whispered while rubbing your thigh back and forth. Your enthusiasm for exploring amused Hange. Despite having one eye, it was gratifying to know they were a desirable person again. Hange kissed you along the soft skin of your neck and moved their hand to your hip, helping you grind against their thigh. They couldn’t help but tear up while kissing your collarbones. Hange didn’t want you to know how much you made them feel vulnerable. They blinked away the tears, not wanting you to worry about their insecurities. With each desperate touch and enthusiastic kiss, you were intertwining your souls. Each kiss sealing the deal.

next chapter Chapter 28: The Lockets

chapter index masterlist

#hange x reader #hanji zoe #hange zoe #hanji x reader #hanji zoë #hange x you

8 notes · View notes

deadringers2023 · 1 year ago

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tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

tagged by treena @rosamndpike, ty <33

list 3 ships you like: i had to think on this for a minute because i tune out shipping sometimes for plot but uhhhh bobby x athena, geto x gojo, kate x may (monarch lom)

first ship ever: ................bamon. i was garbage for damon and bonnie season 6 and beyond. honestly, if damon didn't start out that way, i really think he and bonnie could've been really good for each other

last song you heard: ready or not by the fugees

favorite childhood book: idk if it's a childhood book but i really did love fahrenheit 451 back as a freshman in high school

currently reading: like three books rn LOL but take my hand by dolen perkins-valdez, tender is the flesh by agustina bazterrica, and giovanni's room by james baldwin

currently watching: always catching up on 911 (i'm a new watcher), tuesday night is fbi night, thursday is law and order night, black sails, house of the dragon (rewatch/actually finishing it lol), made in abyss, spy x family (rewatch), slow horses (starting s3),

currently consuming: a lot of iced tea whether sweet, peach, pomegranate, just A LOT of tea (i'm trying to phase a lot of soda out of my life)

currently craving: a riceless sushi roll, a coke (see above rip), and a best friend

tagging @kimdokjas @torturedpoets @katherines @pascow @kizzyedgelll @bladesrunner @connie-rubirosa

#thank you treena!!#icb i missed this smh @ notifications #tagged in

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testudoaubrei-blog · 4 years ago

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Well, it’s not quite a master’s thesis, but this is (the first of) a series of posts on why Catra and Adora are the best love story in the history of kids TV animation and maybe the greatest love story in the history of TV. This may in some ways be faint praise - romance on TV is generally not very good compared with books or movies. Often it’s just some will they/won’t they sexual tension that is defused by getting characters together and re-heightened by breaking them up. TV is full of nearly shark jumping pointless dramas like Sam and Diane (Cheers, holy fuck am I dating myself, though that was technically before my time), Ross and Rachel (Friends, which was no Cheers) etc, but also some less annoying couples like Ben and Leslie (Parks and Rec) or Amy and Jake (Bk99) who are mostly just kind of cute and fun. Other shows, like the X-Files, teased viewers for years with unresolved sexual tension. In kids shows most romances are, appropriate for their target viewers, mild, sweet relationships based more on self-conscious flirting and blushing than on complex and conflicted feelings or deep passions - which is pretty realistic when the characters are young teens or even mid-teens. Some of these relationships are really well done - Finn and Flame Princess, Dipper and Pacifica (yeah I ship them), the early stages of Katara and Aang (before the showrunners imbued this childhood crush with cosmic significance), Steven and Connie, etc. Catra and Adora, though, are different. Their love story is not a side plot or a sub plot, it’s the heart of the show. It isn’t a childhood crush, it’s a very messy and passionate relationship between two young adults. She-Ra is an emotionally complex lesbian romance just as much as it is a thrilling action/adventure show. Everything about their relationship is baked into the show’s plot, its themes, hell even its musical score. The dramatic tension between Catra and Adora is not the result of stretching out a flirtation for ratings, but a coherent dramatic arc that runs through the entire show. As Noelle said, he made Catradora so central that execs couldn’t take it out without ruining the show. And the show is better for it. In this series of posts I’m going to try to show why, as well as showing why She-Ra is such a fantastic love story.

First off, let’s talk about how Catra and Adora’s character arcs are foils for each other, and how they come together and apart through the series. This is actually a post that I’ve been working on for a while but I keep summarizing the show rather than cutting to the chase, so I’m not going to recite many plot points so much as sketch out what’s going on with the dramatic structure at the time. But also, let’s talk about what each character’s arc is saying, and how they are commenting on each other. Spoiler alert: Catra’s arc is a subversion and critique of stories of empowerment through ruthless self-assertion and revenge, while Adora’s arc is a subversion and critique of chosen one narratives and stories of self-denial and self-transcendence.

When the show starts, Adora and Catra are shown as rivals and friends - their first scene starts the recurring motif of them reaching out for each other as one of them dangles above an abyss, as well as establishing their flirtatious banter and easy camaraderie. We quickly learn that these two young women plan to conquer the world together. These scenes and later flashbacks show Catra and Adora as deeply enmeshed in each others lives, to the point where neither of them (but especially Catra) have clear identities outside of one another. There is so much genuine love on both sides before Adora leaves, but also resentment, envy and fear, especially on Catra’s side, as well as a protectiveness on Adora’s side that deprives Catra of her autonomy. They are both being abused by Shadow Weaver - Catra physically and emotionally, Adora emotionally. It wouldn’t be too much to say that Shadow Weaver holds Catra hostage to control Adora (this is why critiques that Adora abandoned Catra to be abused are actually kind of messed up, since they accept Shadow Weaver’s premise that Adora is responsible for what Shadow Weaver does to Catra). In addition, Catra and Adora actually see the world incredibly differently. Adora already sees the world in terms of right, wrong and her destiny to right wrongs - this is why it’s important for her to accept the Horde’s obvious lies - she couldn’t keep living if she didn’t. Catra, on the other hand, sees the world solely in terms of survival and personal loyalty - everything for her is about preserving herself and the person she cares about - Adora.

Then, when Adora finds the sword, she leaves because it’s the right thing to do. Catra doesn’t even have a concept of ‘the right thing to do’ being something she should care about, or perhaps, something she can care about as an irredeemably evil, awful fuck-up. So at Thaymor neither one understands where the other is coming from, and Catra and Adora begin to part. This is the first turning point in their relationship. Adora chooses duty over what she desires, Catra chooses to protect herself (such as she sees it) and nurse her sense of betrayal and abandonment.

Their relationship until Promise is a kind of weird Frenemy thing that is fascinating to watch and sold me on the show. Neither one wants to fully admit to themselves that the other is now their enemy, neither one has given up on changing the other’s mind. Each is furious at the other, and desperate to see her again at the same time. There’s a lot of heartache and just as much sexual tension, especially at Princess Prom. Both of them come alive when they fight each other (more about that in a later post). But they’re already growing apart - Adora embracing her destiny as She-Ra, Catra rising in the ranks for the Horde. Adora now has the purpose she always wanted, plus other friends and a sense of being chosen to do something great, while Catra now has power - the means to protect herself from people like Shadow Weaver as well as the vindication she had always been denied, and even the opportunity to beat Shadow Weaver at her own game.

The next turning point is Promise. Holy fuck, this episode. It’s an episode that is even more heartbreaking after you’ve watched the show because you know just how much worse things are going to get, and yet, it’s a necessary part of both of their character arcs. Even through season 1 Catra and Adora had remained very much enmeshed in each others lives in an increasingly fucked up way as they grew apart but refused to turn away from each other. Even though they aren’t -exactly- a romantic couple (Adora doesn’t recognize and acknowledge her feelings until the last episode of Season 5), Season 1 of She-Ra is one of the worst breakups I have seen on TV. As I said in a couple of previous posts, this is the kind of shit that the Mountain Goats write songs about. Everything that was poisoning their love for each other even before episode 1 bubbles to the surface and combines with them fighting on opposite sides of the war to make a truly fucked up situation. In the end, it’s Catra that makes the choice to turn away from Adora. This isn’t a -good- decision. It’s spiteful, and destructive, and based on an outright deluded understanding of their relationship (inspired by Light Hope’s manipulations and her own issues), but it’s in some ways a necessary decision. Catra has been so wrapped up in Adora for so long that she isn’t going to be able to figure out who -she- is without cutting Adora out of her life. And the same is true of Adora.

But each of them do this in about the worst way possible. Catra embraces destruction, ambition, manipulation and outright cruelty, turning the tactics of her abusers against them and against everyone around her. She first triumphs over Shadow Weaver and manipulates Entrapta into trying to corrupt Etheria itself. Meanwhile Adora ‘lets go’ and commits herself to the self-denying mantle of She-Ra. Over the next several seasons, their respective paths will nearly lead both Catra and Adora to their deaths (in the Season 4 finale).

For the next season (counting season 2 and 3 as one) Catra and Adora are still closely linked, but as enemies. Still, there’s more than enough flirtation between them (that ‘Hey Catra’ in the first episode of Season 2 is something else), and especially on Adora’s side we see her hold back with Catra, and often take responsibility for the harm Catra inflicts, just like she had when they were kids. Yet they still drift apart - after facing off every other episode in Season 1, they spend less and less time on screen together through season 2 and 3. Catra continues her ascent to power and descent into villainy while Adora becomes more of a stressed out mess as she takes the fate of the world and the wellbeing of everyone she cares about on her admittedly broad shoulders. Catra’s one moment of vulnerability is rewarded by Shadow Weaver’s betrayal and her exile, then Catra triumphs in ruthless badass fashion through sheer desperation and aggression. In the Crimson Wastes, we see Catra at her most independent, and she almost seems happy. But once Adora shows up and Catra hears about Shadow Weaver, she’s sucked back into the worst of her resentments, and she makes very clear that being happy is less important to her than making sure Adora is miserable.

This changes everything. Catra completely breaks with reality and tries to kill Adora, herself and the world rather than lose to Adora and Shadow Weaver (I do think it’s important to remember that she does that after Shadow Weaver nearly kills her). Catra betrays everyone around her when she exiles Entrapta, threatens Scopria and lies to Hordak. Then she flips the switch. When Adora tries to fix things, Catra fights to her own death to make sure that the world disintegrates with her. For her part, Adora fights first to understand what is wrong with the world and then to fix it. Finally she tells Catra that destroying the world is her choice and she has to live with it, decks her, and then sees her off with a death glare once the portal is closed. With this, Adora writes Catra off even if, as she says later, she never never hated her. By doing that, Adora casts off the guilt that had dogged her and takes responsibility for her own life rather than someone else’s - this is actually a huge step for her, and one that will become more important in Season 4.

Season 4 is in many ways the nadir of their relationship. They only see each other once during the entire season, in Fluterrina, when Adora tries to blast Catra, much to the latter’s shock. There’s a sense in that scene that Catra is trying to have the same flirtatious enmity she used to have with Adora, and Adora is having none of it. Catra almost seems hurt by this, which is an early hint at how isolated Catra is beginning to feel. Catra spends the rest of the season at her highest and lowest. On the one hand she spends most of 12 episodes winning by every standard she has ever claimed to care about, besting Hordak himself in single combat and making herself co-ruler of the Horde and coming within a day’s march of ending the Rebellion. In many ways it is the ultimate empowerment fantasy - the abused young woman has defeated her abusers, showed up everyone who doubted her and forced everyone to respect her. But I think it’s striking that the show starts with her and Adora dreaming of conquering the world together and in Season 4 Catra nearly succeeds in conquering it alone, almost like she was trying to live out her old shared fantasy while proving she didn’t need her former best friend.

At the same time, Catra is clearly miserable. She’s always been unhappy, but in Season 4 we see her completely isolated and lying to herself and everyone who will listen in a desperate attempt to justify her actions. Turning the tactics of Hordak and Shadow Weaver against them to gain power and then against Scorpia and Entrapta to maintain it haven’t vindicated Catra, they’ve made her more and more alone as Entrapta is exiled and Scorpia drifts away. Meanwhile Catra reaches out to Double Trouble, and her interactions with them reek of a kind of desperate desire to have someone in her life (the feeling of their interaction is of an unhealthy casual relationship where one partner becomes emotionally invested and the other takes advantage of that while denying the other the closeness they desire). As people leave her, one after the other, it becomes clearer and clearer that Catra doesn’t want power at all - she wants connection, friendship, love, and power is a very poor replacement. As I said in my long Catra rant, Season 4 is both her ‘Walter White as a Catgirl’ season and the beginning of her redemption. Everything comes to head when Sparkles destroys everything Catra has tried to achieve, Double Trouble delivers those harsh truths and Horde Prime shows up and makes it all irrelevant, just highlighting how futile all her struggles and sacrifices and crimes have been.

Meanwhile Adora spends Season 4 becoming her own her and her own woman. After telling off Catra, she grows more and more disillusioned with Light Hope and critical of Glimmer (though the latter has more than a shade of her old habit of taking responsibility for others - Adora’s development is not linear). She’s gained the courage and confidence to strike out her own path, not just follow a destiny. At the season’s end she once again breaks with her best friend to do what is right, and discards the destiny that she was being prepared for. But in this case she isn’t chasing one packaged destiny for another, instead she’s making her own choice and literally shattering the thing that she thought gave her life purpose. It’s badass, and heartbreaking, and along with decking Catra and jumping after Catra into the abyss (see below) it’s the perfect Adora moment.

In many ways Season 5 starts with Catra and Adora farther apart than they have ever been. They aren’t even enemies anymore, they’re completely out of each other’s lives. And both Catra and Adora are lost at the beginning of Season 5 - Catra is useless and alone on Prime’s ship, completely defeated despite ostensibly being on the winning side, and she goes through the motions of her normal plotting without any particular conviction and none of her normal flair. Meanwhile Adora is even more miserable and self-destructive than usual, throwing herself at Horde Bots and working herself until she drops of exhaustion. In a very real way they both stay lost until they have a chance to help the other. Catra takes responsibility for what she’s done and what she can do, saves Glimmer (at least partly for Adora’s sake), apologizes to Adora, and sacrifices herself. Adora only seems to come alive when she decides to turn around, face Prime, and save the cat. And when she does, Catra and Adora’s arcs, which had separated so completely in season 4, come crashing back together to end the series.

Adora during Save the Cat is such a contrast with the uncertain, hesitant and self-destructive wreck we’ve seen so far in Season 5. This is possibly her craziest plan in 3 years of mostly cazy plans, but she never wavers or questions herself. Even when Chipped Catra appears and we see Adora’s heart break while we watch, Adora doesn’t back down or relent. She keeps at it even as the tears stream down her face. She fights better trying to save Catra without She-Ra’s powers than she fought at the Battle of Bright Moon with them. Catra’s just about as desperate - we see her cry and plead, and now is probably as good a time to any to point out how amazing a job both VAs did throughout the show, but especially in this episode, and how good a job the board artists did.

Seeing each other for the first time in a year, and only the second time since Catra blew everything up, Catra and Adora are probably the rawest and least restrained we’ve ever seen them. There’s barely any banter, no bravado, and no pretense that they are anything other than two women who desperately need each other (Prime doesn’t help with ‘You broke my heart’.) Then Catra is flung to her death, Adora jumps after her, breaks both her legs in the fall (we see her crawl to Catra, as though she couldn’t walk) and becomes the real She-Ra. It’s such a triumphant and deeply queer moment seeing a woman transformed into a warrior goddess to protect the woman she loves, and it’s the reason that, as dark as it is, Save the Cat is my Comfort Food episode.

Let’s not sleep on Taking Control, though. This episode is like a microcosm of what this show does best, especially the A plot with Catra and Adora. Catra’s reversion to lashing out at everyone and her refusal to be open to Adora shows just how much of a struggle this whole ‘being good and trying to connect to people’ thing is. Catra’s outburst gives Adora a chance to stand up for herself and refuse to be Catra’s punching bag, while also not trying to control her. Adora’s ultimatum gives Catra a chance to reach out to Adora (quite literally), and allow herself to be vulnerable. In this episode, we see just how far Catra and Adora have come since the messed up stew of their relationship in Season 1. Adora lets Catra be responsible for her own actions; Catra lets herself be vulnerable to Adora and takes responsibility for her actions. They’re both better people and better friends and better partners than they were, and the show has shown this in a strikingly nuanced and realistic way.

The important thing to note in the next few episodes of Season 5 isn’t just how much closer Catra and Adora get to each other and how much they flirt (So much. So much, y’all) but just how -happy- they are. We see both of them transformed in the other’s presence. Basically, since they’ve parted, both Catra and Adora have been defined in no small part by how miserable they often are. They have both had their triumphs and their lighter moments, but there’s been a sense of melancholy dogging both Catra and Adora since episode 1. And now that they’re together again, that lifts, somewhat. Catra’s verbal barbs have lost their venom, and she can openly show how much she cares for Adora and even Bow and Glimmer. She’s still herself - snarky, cynical, somewhat devious - but she’s not engaged in a self-destructive zero-sum struggle with everyone around her. Meanwhile Adora has spent 4 seasons being a neurotic and sometimes nearly joyless mess who takes responsibility for everything and often doesn’t let herself enjoy anything other than the odd BFS group hug (exceptions include trying to uh...impress Huntara and reveling with the butterfly ladies of Elberron in Flutterina). Around Catra, though, she’s a cocky, swaggering jock who gives as good as she gets. It’s a side of Adora we’ve only seen hints of before, and one that’s so much more confident and joyful even as the world is ending around her. Apart, Catra had tried to protect and vindicate herself with power and conquest, while Adora had tried to forget herself in duty and sacrifice. Together, they can be themselves again. This dynamic is crucial to the show’s portrayal of Catra and Adora’s romance because it doesn’t just show how much they love each other, but how they’re -good- for each other now that they’ve grown as people, and that they are so much better than they were when they were apart.

Until Shadow Weaver shows up. Their old abuser reintroduces tensions but even then things are different than they were. Now Catra isn’t just resentful of how Shadow Weaver prefers Adora - she’s protective of Adora, which is clearest in Failsafe when she calls Shadow Weaver out for being willing to sacrifice Adora. And while Adora takes the Failsafe, it isn’t to follow her destiny or because she has a death wish - it’s because she loves her friends, and she is the only one who has any hope of doing this and living (though Catra’s suggestion that Shadow Weaver take it is a good one). And finally, when Catra leaves Adora, it isn’t because she hates Adora, nor, despite what she says, is it because she really thinks that Adora chose Shadow Weaver. At least, not exactly. It’s because Catra loves Adora, and can admit that to herself, and can’t stay around and watch the woman she loves sacrifice herself rather than choosing Catra. Before Catra leaves, she asks Adora ‘What do you want?” It’s a question that echoes Shadow Weaver’s speech in Episode 1: ‘isn’t this what you always wanted since you could want anything?’ As much as Adora has grown as a person, and defined herself and stood up for what she thinks is right, she still has never answered that question - it’s never been ‘what do I want’ but ‘what do I have to do?’ and that’s how Adora answers Catra’s question. This is Adora’s last gasp as a self-transcending hero, letting go of what she wants (not that she ever dared articulate what that was) in order to do what must be done. And it nearly kills her and dooms the universe, because Adora can’t be the hero that she needs to be by being anyone less than herself.

But it’s losing Catra that inspires Adora to tell off Shadow Weaver for good (not that she’d ever really warmed to her after season 1). And it’s love for Adora that inspires Catra to stand up to Shadow Weaver and demand that she do the right thing. In both cases, Catra and Adora aren’t just standing up to their abuser, but holding her to account for the harm she’s caused, and it’s the love that they have for each other that inspires them to do this. In Catra’s case in particular her refusal to let Shadow Weaver weasel out of finding Adora is a much greater triumph over Shadow Weaver than beating her up and breaking her mask in Season 1 - it’s proof not so much to Shadow Weaver but to Catra herself that Catra really is better than this and that she deserves better than this. It’s not turning her abuser’s tactics against her, but truly holding her to a moral standard and demanding that she do the right thing.

And then there’s Catra and Adora together at the heart. Catra has already come back for Adora and stayed to the end, choosing to die with her even if she can’t share a life together (not out of some death wish, but because Adora needs her). And Adora, who’s been avoiding answering the question for three fucking years, finally let’s herself want Catra when Catra finally confesses her love (breaking the last of her self-protective shields) and asks Adora to stay -for her-. And by admitting what she wants, Adora can truly be at peace with herself and be the hero she needs to be, lesbianism saves the universe, The End.

So anyway, that’s how Catra and Adora’s stories are woven together and how they compliment and comment on each other. Narrativiely, Adora and Catra start together, come apart, find something of themselves, and truly find themselves and each other when they are reunited. Thematically, they are critiquing seemingly opposing narrative tropes - empowerment narratives and narratives of self sacrifice. But by showing the flaws in both types of story and showing how neither self-seeking empowerment nor self-negating self sacrifice can actually make us happy, She-Ra asks and answers more profound questions than most prestige dramas for adults do. I’ll get into how the show sells the idea that the power of love can bring us happiness (and save the world) in a future post. But next up, I’m going to celebrate just how much Catra and Adora’s relationship revels in ambiguity, complexity and contradiction and so tells a grown up love story in a kid’s show.

#she ra #she ra spoilers #she ra adora #spop #catradora #she ra netflix #she ra and the princesses of power #goat ship #long #meta

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arlert-angel · 4 years ago

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love fast, die young ☪

♡ jean x fem!reader

❥ you know that at any moment your life could be cut short as a scout, and the last thing you want is to die a virgin, so why not ask your best friend that you’re in love with for some help?

❥ wc: 5.8k

❥ cw: near death experience (reader), virgin!reader and virigin!jean, cannonverse but no plot, loss of virginity, slight size kink, cream pie, aftercare, fluff

❥ note: i was invested in the story of this one lol, it's a lot more romantic than i initially intended. they’re aged up, but the cannonverse details don’t make sense for the plot, so let’s pretend it does yay.

Arriving back from expeditions was always an exhausting feat within itself, sometimes more so than the actual expedition.

Commanding officers had to count their losses, healers had to tend to the wounded, and everyone who was good enough to stand had to report their kills and assists. Of course that was the immediate tasks that needed to take place, but then came the grief. Friends looked for one another, many people cried, and names could be heard shouted all around as everyone arrived at headquarters.

You weren't that different, but you were silent as you scanned the crowd looking for your tall best friend. You knew he was with the best of the best in Levi's squad, so you weren't too worried. However, you also knew the previous best had been wiped out before the new group came.

Anything could happen which made you all the more anxious.

You and Jean were not on the same squad. You first were offered a position on the Levi squad with the rest of your friends, but then Hange handed picked you to help them with their experiments, claiming they needed your mind to work with them. Hange is very likeable and now one of your closest friends, and at the time it seemed impossible to say no to them.

Hange's and Levi's squad tended to work together a lot and definitely trained together, so you didn't miss your friends too much. It was only when expeditions approached and new formations were made, when you had to be separated from the rest of your 104th pals.

You never complained about the separation. It wouldn't last forever, maybe a couple days at most, and then you return to laughing and working with the rest of your friends. You had no complaints until this particular expedition.

You had a close call.

In fact, so close, you might as well have kissed Death on the lips while you were so close to the afterlife.

The mission was going according to plan. It was a simple scouting mission in the mountains that were, for the most part, titan free. Your squad was on the left flank of the formation, near the edge of the mountains. The cliff sides surrounding you guys held a beautiful, yet slightly scary view. The drop had to be at least 300 feet.

You should've known something bad was going to happen as soon as Hange called out, "Hey, Y/N, check it out!" But you weren't thinking that hard, for the day had been so peaceful.

The path you all had taken was so close to the cliffs that the squad was riding single file for safety. There was enough room to pass one another, but you had to do so very carefully.

You rode ahead, passing Moblit. You sent him a questioning look as went by, but he only shrugged, not knowing what Hange was raving over. When you slid off your horse and next to Hange you saw what they did.

A very large cave.

"Should we go inside?" Hange looked at you, clearly excited, but it was an awful idea.

"No!" You tried to sound stern, knowing how they needed a firm rejection or they'd always get what they wanted, "Do you see the size of the thing? This looks like a comfy home for a 10 meter titan, maybe even 15 meter class if they hunched over."

"Do you think they'd crawl around in there?!" Their eyes widened and the familiar look that you've seen so many times on their face appeared. It was their usual expression they had when you conducted experiments with them. You swore to yourself how you fed their curiosity on accident.

"What's going on?" Moblit now arrived, wondering what the hold up was about.

"They want to go inside that death trap," You pointed at the ominous cavern in front of you all.

"You cannot be serious!" Moblit exclaimed in surprise, the volume echoing down the stone and dirt walls. Moblit continued his rant, stating the obvious, but you tuned their debate out. You just stared into what looked like an abyss.

There was no movement, no noise, not even the breeze seemed to reach here.

But for some reason you had a gut feeling. A gut feeling that saved all of your lives.

"Move!" You shoved Hange into Moblit which effectively knocked them both to the side of the cave and used your ODM gear to swing yourself to the opposite side.

The large hand reached out as you tried to get out of the way, but because you helped the others you weren't quick enough.

Luckily, the titan's grasp only managed to get tangled in your ODM wire and couldn’t quite reach your actual body.

Unluckily, the titan was managing to drag you like a ragdoll and if you didn't do anything quickly you would be engulfed in the darkness where it was hidden, and then probably engulfed in it’s stomach.

You had to think quick on your feet and so you drew your blades and slashed the wire on your gear all together. You could've attempted to slash at it's hands, but that was no guarantee. The wire was sliced with a clean snip.

Now you were free, you stumbled back at the loss of momentum. You took one two many steps back, and that last step didn't hit the gravely earth that the others had.

Your foot didn't hit anything at all.

You were about to fall off a cliff.

Ironic to escape death one way only to quite literally fall into its clutches another way.

But, you didn't fall.

Your eyes were squeezed shut in absolute terror, and when you opened them at the lack of free fall, you saw Hange.

They had managed to save you by the front of your shirt, yanking you back on solid ground. Moblit had been keeping the titan at bay, and continued to do so as you and everyone else turned their horses carefully around.

Thanks were shared by yourself, Hange, and Moblit at the different lucky saves. They praised your quick thinking and response. None of you actually saw the titan coming. You just knew. You seemed to recognize the familiar feeling of dread from the presence of a titan that wanted to eat you. Even if you couldn’t see it.

Hange continuously apologized on the way back, but it wasn’t really their fault. It’s not like you actually entered the cave like they wanted. And it was probably a good thing you guys stopped when you did. If the group rode past the cave something worse might have happened.

After that close call you wanted nothing more to find your best friend and have his familiar comfort.

"Y/N? Whatcha still doing out here?" You spun around quickly and saw Connie.

“Oh, hey! I’m just looking for Jean, have you seen him?” You didn’t want to panic, but it was weird to see Connie without Jean.

“Yeah! Mikasa killed this titan that had snuck up right above us and it’s blood got all over Jean it was so funny he screamed like a girl. But yeah, he went to the showers immediately,” Connie explained laughing at the memory. You laughed along and wished you could see it yourself.

“That’s funny, I should probably shower too, this mission felt particularly long,” You grumbled more to yourself than Connie, but he picked up on your off tone.

“Did something happen?” He asked genuinely concerned. You might’ve been closest to Jean, but Connie and Sasha were also very close to you. The four you always had the most fun together, and got in the most trouble.

“Kind of, a titan snuck up on us too, but we were near the cliffs so there wasn’t all lot of room to work with. I almost fell, but on the bright side I overcame my fear of heights,” You laughed, but it was more anxious than joyful.

“Oh shit, that’s awful!” Connie’s eyes widened in horror, “I'll tell Jean to come find you when I see him.”

“What why?”

“You were looking for him right? He’d definitely want to know that you’re okay after that. He worries a lot, you know? It’s always: I hope Y/N okay, where’s Hange’s squad again, I wish Y/N was here, Y/N would love this view. Someone has to tell him to shut up at least once every expedition.” Connie actually did an okay Jean impression as he ranted to you, but you didn’t comment on it.

You were too surprised. You didn’t know Jean worried about you. He never once came to you with any fears about expeditions. He always asked you what happened, but that’s just a normal conversation. It wasn’t too strange for someone’s best friend to think about them when apart. What was strange was the happy feeling you got knowing that Jean couldn’t shut up about you. A weird fluttery feeling danced in your stomach and you felt almost giddy.

Connie noticed your lack of response and noticeably paled.

“Fuck, wait, I didn’t tell you that! Jean’s gonna kill me, Y/N please don’t tell him I told you!” He grabbed onto you, begging. He shook you enough that it got you out of your confusing thoughts.

“Um, okay? I don't see what the big deal is. I think about Jean on expeditions too, that’s not weird right?” You smiled reassuringly and Connie’s whole body sagged in relief.

“Not at all! Have a nice shower!” Connie ran away, actually ran, trying to separate himself from that conversation. He thanked the Walls that you couldn’t read between the lines.

After that odd conversation you got a change of clothes and towel, and then headed towards the showers. You passed Sasha and Mikasa on the way in and they both gave you pleasant greetings, all parties glad to see each other alive and well.

You tried not to overthink, but the hot shower gave you all the time to do so.

Your thoughts jumped from almost dying, to Jean, to these overwhelming feelings you seemed to harbor.

You knew you loved Jean. You both even told each other sometimes. Your mind never wandered further than viewing Jean as your best friend only because you didn’t think that’s what he’d want.

When you first met Jean you had a small crush on him, admiring him from afar until Marco introduced the two of you. Once you grew closer and noticed his infatuation with Mikasa your feelings sizzled out in a bitter simmer. Your bitterness didn’t last long though, you were happy you had someone to rely on no matter what. After Marco passed, Jean was your crutch and vise versa. Romance would only make things confusing and besides you didn’t have any experience in the matter.

But now as you think more and more about him you wondered if those feelings ever went away. You thought about his laugh and stupid tone he gets when he tries to act cocky. You thought about his eyes and how pretty they look in the sunlight. You thought about his ability to read your mind without you having to tell him something’s wrong. He was your person.

You came to the conclusion that there definitely was something more than platonic there, but there was no certainty he felt the same. He would’ve said something by now. When he liked Mikasa he was so obvious, openly talking about her to everyone. You would’ve known something by now if it were the case, right? You knew he didn’t like Mikasa now, he told you explicitly for some reason, stating you needed to know. He also didn’t talk about liking anybody new.

Sighing in frustration, you turned off the shower, now squeaky clean. What was supposed to be a relaxing shower just stressed you out because of your stupid brain’s overthinking.

And it didn’t stop. As you dropped your messy uniform in the laundry, it reminded you of the day.

Today proved that any moment could be your last. Being in the scouts has always been dangerous, and you knew you were a disposable soldier. You didn’t mind it much, but now you realized how little you had experienced. You had never been drunk, your only kiss was with Marco in a game of truth or dare, and you were a virgin.

You didn’t want to die a virgin.

You thought of Jean. You wanted to be with him at least once before you died. You didn’t want to die without knowing how it felt to have everything with Jean. Your love for him definitely wasn’t platonic. You didn’t want to die without him knowing.

Your mind made up, you walked the halls with a little more determination than usual. You wandered around for only a couple minutes before running into Eren.

“Horseface is looking for you,” He pointed around the corner. You gave a quick thanks before quickly going in that direction only to collide with the person you were searching for.

“Y/N!” Jean surprised you by pulling you in a tight hug. As he pulled away he took note of the blush that was now on your cheeks, but didn’t comment. He also didn’t let you go completely, leaving his hands on your shoulders. Unable to help himself.

“Hey, I was looking for you,” You smiled genuinely, only slightly nervous now. Even with the giddiness he gave you, he still managed to calm you down.

“Me too, Connie said something happened with your squad, so I asked Hange about it and they told me everything,” His eyebrows were pulled into a worried furrow, “I wish you were in our squad.”

“Me too, but I like being with Hange too,” You stated honestly, “But it’s alright, everything worked out in the end.”

“Yeah, but you almost fell off a cliff! Y/N if I lost you I’d…” He cleared his throat before shaking himself out of his thoughts, “I’m just glad you’re okay. You said you were looking for me, what for?”

“Oh! Um…” You looked around and saw Eren eavesdropping blatantly with a knowing look, causing you to quickly turn back around, “Can I talk to you in my room about something?” You shift your weight from side to side, visibly jittery.

“Sure?” Jean was confused and noted you looked more flustered than before, but he couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong like he usually could.

You walked side by side, passing Eren along the way who gave you both a smug wave. When Jean wasn’t looking you turned around and gave him the finger. The walk was silent and your hands brushed each other softly.

Once you were behind closed doors you felt yourself relax a little more. It was just Jean, you hyped yourself up. Even if he did reject you the worst thing that could happen is him make a stupid joke out of everything, but you doubt he would. You knew he at least respected you.

“So, what’s so serious that you needed to be away from nosy Yeager?” So he did see that ass listening, you thought.

“Well… You know about my close call today… It got me thinking,” You started safely.

“You can think? Like, there’s a brain in there?” Jean acted surprised and grabbed your head teasingly.

“Shut up,” You laughed and slapped his hands away before adding, “It’s serious.”

“Okay,” He took a seat on your bed comfortably, an action that was not unusual, you hung out in each other’s room all the time. He gave you his full attention, no longer joking around.

“I thought about how at any moment we can die, that sounds morbid, but it’s true. And then I thought about all the stuff I haven’t done and all the things I haven’t said,” You explained further, still not getting to the point.

“So, you want to make a bucket list?” Jean tilted his head, trying to follow, “That’d be fun.”

“No,” You rolled your eyes lovingly, “I, more specifically, thought about all the stuff we haven’t done together.”

“Oh, you want to make a bucket list together!” Jean perked up.

“Jean stop trying to guess and let me explain,” You laughed and he complied, pretending to zip his lips shut.

“Jean,” You approached the man, invading his personal space, “I don’t want to die a virgin, do you?”

“No…” Jean blushed at the sudden topic change, wondering why on earth you were bringing that up right now.

“And… I love you, and I know you'd treat me right,” You cupped his cheeks in your hands. You were standing in between his legs now, him leaning back on his hands looking up at you. He was tall, so he didn’t have to tilt his neck that much.

“I love you too, what are you going on about?” His face was drawn in clear confusion, a cute expression, if he wasn’t being so frustrating.

“No, Jean,” You leaned impossibly close, your face right in front of his, “I’m in love with you.”

Then you boldly straddled him before you planted your lips on him.

You were shy, unsure if he would reciprocate the kiss, and it seemed like he wasn’t. You panicked instantly. Your heart was pounding and you pulled away. You were terrified you screwed everything up. You looked at him and he seemed to be frozen.

“Jean?” You worriedly looked at your catatonic friend whose eyes were wide in shock, “I made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry! Please don’t hate me!” You began to try to climb off him, but his hands shot to your hips, holding you in place.

“Y/N, you’re in love with me?” He still seemed to be stunned, or maybe he didn’t believe you, but he held your gaze with serious eyes.

“Yes,” You made sure to keep eye contact despite the heat that rose to your cheeks, to make sure he knew you were dead serious.

“Good,” One of his hands left your hips to your cheek. He guided your mouth back to his.

He was kissing you. He was actually kissing you. It was slow and sweet at first. He stroked your cheek lovingly and your lips slowly moved in sync. It was when you repositioned yourself on his lap, accidently grinding into him, when the kisses started to become more feverish. He groaned into your mouth and the hand left your face and found it’s new home on your ass. He squeezed it harshly, making you gasp. He took the opportunity to introduce his tongue to yours. He surprised you when he sucked on your tongue, making a small whimper escape you.

Jean pulled away, taking in your flustered state with blown pupils of his own. Both of your lips were swollen and you both needed to catch your breath.

“I love you too, you know?” Jean pushed some of your hair out of your face with a soft smile, “I figured you didn’t feel the same and wanted to just be friends, so I didn’t say anything.”

“I thought the same, or that you might still like Mikasa,” You admitted shyly, looking down where your bodies met.

“Hey,” He tilted your chin so you held eye contact again, “That was a stupid crush when I was kid, and I told you that ended a long time ago, didn't I? I’m in love with you.”

“We were so stupid keeping it to ourselves,” You laughed and Jean openly admired you in what looked like awe. His gaze made you feel bashful, almost wanting to hide your face with your hands.

“We were, I could have been kissing you so much sooner,” Jean mumbled, already leaning back to you. This time when your lips met your tongues danced together immediately. You knew Jean also didn't have much experience, but with the way he kissed it seemed like he did.

"Did you mean what you said?" Jean pulled away only for a moment to ask before returning right back to your lips.

You pulled away, trying to decipher what he was referring to. "Wha–" Your breath hitched when you felt Jean kiss your pulse on your neck. He began sucking on a particular spot that made you moan, surprising both of you.

"You're so beautiful," He commented then explained, "Did you mean what you said about that virgin stuff?" He seemed shy all of sudden, his hands were sliding from your hips to your thighs, almost like he was trying to soothe himself.

"I meant every word," You said honestly, "I want to experience all of you."

"God," Jean seemed to like that statement, "I don't know what I'm doing, so just know I'm learning as I go. Just tell me what you like and don't like."

"Of course," You gave him a reassuring smile, "I'm not worried, I trust you."

"Good," He said again before spinning you around and lightly throwing you on your bed. He hovered over you, not putting much, if any weight on you. He resumed the make out session, but this time letting his hands wander.

He first tugged at your shirt, which you helped him quickly pull over your head. You hadn't worn a bra, assuming your plans for this evening were eating then just passing out.

Jean seemed to drink your body in, just staring in lust and awe.

"You can touch me," You tried to sound reassuring, but it sounded more like a beg.

Jean took your breasts in his large hands and just felt you. You almost laughed at how mesmerized he looked, but that was when he latched his mouth on your nipple. That action seemed to send a current of electricity straight to the heat in between your legs. You arched your back and let out a surprised moan which made Jean quickly pull away.

"Did I hurt you?" He looked scared.

"No, it feels good," You murmured as you unconsciously rolled your hips wanting friction.

"Oh, that's good," He shot you a grin before throwing his own shirt to the side. He went back to kissing your chest, this time his hand tweaked the nipple he wasn't sucking on, causing even more pleasure. You bit your lip only letting out whimpers, a little embarrassed of moaning so loudly again.

"J-Jean," You stuttered out, gripping his broad shoulders.

"Hmm?" He hummed, he had been having fun leaving purple marks across your tits.

"I-I need…" You didn't finish.

"What do you need, princess?" He asked genuinely, but his deep tone sent shivers down your spine.

"More, I don't know," You admitted.

"Okay, don't worry," He gave you a peck, "I'll take care of you."

He began taking off your pants, helping you get them off your ankles. He stood to take off his own pants as you admired him. His body was so toned from the life of being a soldier. As you took him all in your eyes landed on the bulge that was very prominent in his briefs and for the first time you felt nerves about having sex with him.

"Jean, how the hell is that supposed to fit in me?" You didn't even see it out of it's cage, you couldn't imagine that monster in action.

"It has to fit right? People have sex all the time," Jean looked down at his own dick before looking at your panties with a frown, "I'll make sure to stretch you out with my fingers to help."

"What do you mean?" You blushed as Jean returned his body on top of you, giving you warmth again. This time putting a little more weight than last time. You could feel his restrained cock against you this time.

"You know, fingering, you've done it to yourself before right?" Jean asked curiously.

"I've tried, but I couldn't reach any particular spots that made me feel good, so I mostly just got off with my clit," You explained, a little embarrassed.

"Well, I have long fingers," Jean began to slip off your last item of clothing. You gulped nervously, you now were exposed completely to him.

"So pretty, and you're wet," He groaned and looked back up to you, "Open your mouth."

You almost asked why, but you didn't want to kill the mood, so you complied. Jean slid two fingers into your mouth and you got the message. You wrapped your lips around his fingers and hollowed your cheeks, sucking on them.

"Fuck," He sighed out and you felt him twitch against you.

He pulled his fingers out and moved them back between your legs. He first slowly thrusted one finger inside you, to get you used to the unfamiliar feeling. The stretch wasn't too painful, and he was definitely right. His fingers were longer.

He moved the one finger in and out of you slowly at first, picking up the pace as he continued. When he felt you relax completely he added a second finger. This time the stretch was a little more, making you tense.

"You're so tight," Jean was watching your pussy in wonder and slid his body down, so his face was near it.

"What are you– Oh my God," Jean's lips sucked on your clit softly, then continuously kitten licked it, all while maintaining his finger thrusts.

"You taste good," Jean said it so casually, you'd think he was talking about the weather. He removed his fingers for a moment to get a better taste. He kissed you directly on your cunt before penetrating you with his tongue. He moaned against you, sending vibrations into you. You tried to unconsciously escape the pleasure, your thighs attempting to close, but Jean's large hands held you down.

He returned his fingers inside you and this time adding a third. It stung more than before, but Jean's mouth on your clit made you forget all about the uncomfortableness. He began curling his fingers inside you reaching a spot that instantly had a knot forming in your stomach. Your hands shot around you, one gripping the sheets and the other in Jean's hair.

He latched onto clit again and you gave up on trying to quiet your moans, embarrassment be damned, it felt too good.

"Jean," You moaned his name, which only made him moan back in return, "I-I'm going to…" You whined a little, not quite there yet, but right on the edge.

"You're going to cum?" Jean asked, not even completely pulled away from your clit to do so, "Go ahead and cum on my fingers, baby." He quickened his strokes and returned to your clit. It was just enough to send you over.

You grinded into his hand and cried out. Jean moaned too as if he was being pleasured just at the sight of you or maybe it was because of the sensation of your tight pussy clamping around his fingers. He couldn't help himself and licked up some of your release, making you jump.

He moved back up to you with a content smile, "Did that feel good?"

"Yeah," You smiled back through half lidded eyes, still buzzing from the pleasure.

He gave you a deep kiss and you could taste yourself on him. Tasting your own saccharine flavor was strangely erotic.

Jean pulled away, "Is it alright if I take my cock out?" He asked beforehand just in case you changed your mind.

"Yeah, of course, I want to see the monster that's going to destroy me," You joked and earned yourself a cocky smirk.

Jean took off the only clothing that was separating the two of you. You glanced down and saw his size more visibly now. You were right to be intimidated before, he was huge. Jean seemed to take note of your apprehensive expression so he returned to giving you some kisses in order to soothe you.

“We’ll take it slow and if it’s too much just tell me,” Jean assured you which helped calm you down.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Your eyes met as he began to rub the head up and down between your folds, collecting its wetness. He rubbed it over your clit and back down, making you feel particularly tingly. When he started pushing the head inside you had to remind yourself to not tense up, but it was hard. He was stretching a lot more than his fingers did. His cock added an unfamiliar pressure inside you that his fingers didn’t.

“God, that’s just the head and you're already squeezing me,” Jean threw his head back trying to regain composure. It was also his first time and he did not want to embarrass himself by finishing quickly. Also the gentlemen inside him wanted to feel you cum around him first.

He slowly continued to push further in as you grabbed his arms to brace yourself. When he finally bottomed out you swore you could see the bulge on your tummy. He kept still and waited for you to give him the go ahead even though he had the incredible urge to just thrust forward.

“You alright?” Jean's voice was more strained than usual.

“Yeah, why the fuck you gotta be so big, Jean,” Which only made Jean smile and give an apology kiss. You took a few more moments getting used to the stretch when the pleasure overtook the pain. You felt the veins on his cock inside you. You felt so full, but so good. You grinded into him trying to feel more and Jean noticed.

“I’m going to start moving now,” Jean warned and began pulling back before snapping his hips forward. You both cried out how he filled you up, your walls fluttering around him.

The pace was unrushed and steady to begin with. He withdrew his cock only to plunge it back into you, hitting you deep, in a repetitive matter. You felt the pleasure everywhere, all the way in your toes.

You started meeting his thrusts, moving your hips in order to do so. Jean hitched your leg higher which only made you feel him deeper, hitting a sweet spot that caused you to gasp.

“You can go faster,” You said breathlessly, “Please, Jean, it feels so good.”

“Fuck,” Jean moaned back, his slow deep thrusts turned into a quick pounding. He continuously hit that new spot every time. Your whimpers turned into uncontrollable moans. Not wanting to make too much noise you buried yourself into the crook of his neck, sucking and biting his skin.

You briefly looked down where your bodies met and saw him pumping out of you, your slick covering his cock and your thighs. The sight made your eyes roll back into your head.

“Please,” You moaned into Jean who brought his hand to your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“Please, what? What do you want, princess?” He grunted a bit after, not once did he lose his pace.

“I want… Ah… Please, I don’t know,” You felt like you could cry, you were right on the edge. You didn’t know what you needed, but you felt too good to try to figure it out. You figured he was close too by the way he was twitching inside your pussy and his thrusts became a little more desperate.

“Open,” Jean brought his fingers back to your mouth, groaning at the sensation. He kept them there for a few more moments than necessary, just enjoying the way you looked with your pretty lips wrapped around him.

Then he brought them between your legs and began rubbing your clit at the same pace he was thrusting into you.

“J-Jean, I’m gonna cum,” You grabbed his wrist, almost overwhelmed by the feeling.

You cried out his name as your pussy milked him, triggering his own release. He groaned your name as he came. You felt the warmth of him spill deep inside you and it made your pussy tremble all the more. He gave a few final thrusts before slumping on top of you.

“Look at me while you cum, princess, come on, cum on my cock,” He encouraged you. You held eye contact for as long as you could, but when that coil in your tummy snapped you had to squeeze your eyes shut in absolute bliss.

“We definitely should’ve done that sooner,” He mumbled into your hair, making you giggle.

“Definitely,” You echoed back.

He slid out of you after that, making both of your bodies shudder at the loss of connection. You pussy still trying to pulse around something.

“I just showered,” You commented with a frown, looking at the mess between your legs.

“I’ll go get a towel?” Jean offered, and you gave him a nod. He redressed quickly, kissed you deeply, then stated he would be back soon.

You threw your shirt back on while you waited. You felt so sleepy after that. Even though you wanted to feel clean, you wished you cuddled with Jean some more, already missing him.

After a couple more minutes the silence was broken.

“I knew it!” You heard Eren’s familiar voice shout from outside your door and you sat up confused.

“Shut the fuck up before I hit you!” You heard Jean’s voice shout back and then a few more quieter exchanges that you couldn’t make out from the two men. Then your door opened fast, Jean slipping quickly inside, locking it behind him. In one hand he had a warm towel and in the other he had a new set of sheets.

“What happened?” You pointed at the door and Jean scowled.

“Apparently those assholes bet on when we’d finally hook up,” Jean explained before cleaning you up. You blushed as he took care of you. Despite what just took place you still felt embarrassed. Jean noticed and just pecked your cheeks.

“That’s kind of funny, we should’ve placed our own bets,” You hummed and stood shakily, grabbing a new pair of underwear as Jean changed your sheets for you.

“I can’t believe Eren won,” Jean frowned, but when your arms wrapped around him from behind he couldn’t help but smile.

“Will you stay with me? I kind of want to nap,” You mumbled into his back.

“Of course,” You both returned to your bed this time with more innocent intentions.

Jean laid on his back and you threw your arm around his chest and your leg over his, snuggling up into his side.

“I don’t want to die,” You murmured sleepily.

“You won’t,” Jean stated firmly.

“How do you know?” You looked up at him.

“Because we both have something to live for,” He met your gaze softly, before kissing your head again.

You told each other you loved another once again before you both fell asleep. It was a sleep where neither of you had the common nightmare about your untimely deaths.

Instead it was a sleep where you both dreamt of the future you now could have with one another.

#this was so much more fluff than i wanted lol #aot smut #aot #aot jean #jean x reader #jean kirschstein #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein smut #attack on titan #mikasa ackerman #hange zoe #aot eren #eren aot #connie springer #arlert angel

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hnychn · 4 years ago

Text

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 [𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍]

summary : it was painful to watch eren become the very person he swore to protect you from

warnings : gender neutral reader, angst (when is it not), season 4 anime spoilers, a bit of jean x reader but nothing is specified,

word count : 2k+

a/n : i kinda don't like this cause idk if the feeling came out as i wanted it to, but i also don't know how to fix it and make it better. i kinda played around with eren's titan abilities and the memories he inherited, but anyways lmk what you thought.

attack on titan masterlist || navigation

Philtatos.

That’s what Achilles was said to have called his love, Patroclus.

Most Beloved.

A word often spoken between the two as the salty ocean breeze filtered through the open windows and Achilles held Patroclus as if he were the moon holding his tide and Patroclus held Achilles as if he were brightening his world like a thousand golden urns. A word spoken between gasps and puffy lips as the moon peeked through the curtains and guided the two lovers. A word so precious and valuable it was the only word Achilles could cry as he held his lover’s body in the aftermath of the Trojan War.

But words too often spoken, are meanings too often lost.

“If it ever came down to you or the world, I’d choose you over and over and over.”

Much like Patroclus, you cherished the words so rarely dripped from his lips like a drop of water spilling over the edge of a cup. You held Eren tighter, pressed more kisses to the curve of his lips, held his face closer to your own when he let those rare words slip from his lips. When he spoke those words, it was as if a million stars had suddenly been dropped into your dark abyss of a universe and guided your way through life; each sparkle capturing a piece of your breath and stealing your heart and soul with no intentions of giving it back.

Eren embodied the golden urns that spilled from the sun that guided Patroclus’ path to Achilles in the afterlife; he was bright, warm, home.

When Eren lit up your word as he did, when he lit up your path and guided you to him, it was easy to call him home. He was your person. Your person who waited for you with open arms and a cup overflowing with love waiting for you to take and cherish and keep. It was easy for you to mold yourself into his arms on harsher days when he pat your head and whispered, “It’s you over the world. Always” into your ears when you wanted to scream and cry and set fire to the world.

He promised you protection; a secure future filled with love and hope and freedom and forever. It was easy to believe him when he put his life on the line for you when he was on trial. Screaming and thrashing and struggling to get to you as members of the military brigade twisted your arms behind your back and threatened to end your life on suspicions of knowing Eren’s secret. It was easy to believe him when he held you close later, with the moon’s light filtering into the room and the cold breeze cradling both of your bodies. It was easy to believe him when he held you close, his hands fisting the back of your shirt as if someone would burst in and steal you from him at any moment, while his words tickled your ear and warmed your heart, “I will protect you. You are my world.”

But words too often spoken, are meanings too often lost.

You could remember the day his words started lacking their once bright luster. Not long after retaking Wall Maria, you felt the salty ocean breeze against the curves of your face and the cool ocean water against the heels of your ankle. You smiled as you watched Connie and Sasha play in the water and looked over to Eren to do the same; but the sparkle in his eyes, or rather the lack thereof, is when the warmth of his words started to burn out like a flame too long exposed to the harsh winter.

"The world is against us. . .and I won’t let them win.”

Your back was turned to him, pressing against his firm chest that once grounded you in reality and assured you of safety; but now it only frightened you and summoned a churn in your stomach you didn’t know was possible in Eren’s presence.

It was as if your mind recognized it sooner than your heart did. As if your brain could recognize the small changes in your lover, the way his eyes slowly dimmed and were no longer the same jade green that reminded you of the soft grass that tickled the pads of your feet outside of your childhood cottage but had turned into a stormy grey that reminded you of the storms that sunk ships and shattered the hearts and trust of many.

But your heart refused to acknowledge it. Eren had placed a veil of red in front of your heart that blurred all sense of rationale you had. You could see the way he seemed to withdraw into himself more, his words became more scarce, his affection became rarer and rarer as the days passed. Your eyes could register the lack of sparkle in his when he looked at you, but your heart was under his control and refused to acknowledge it.

It was painful watching the person you love most slowly fall out of love with you.

Your heart ached when you looked him in the eyes and were faced with the heartbreaking reality that the stars that once lit up your whole universe were now slowly dimming and simmering away.

And then he disappeared.

As if he were whispers of dandelions floating in the wind, he disappeared, leaving nothing but a stem of the flower he once was in his wake.

You cried and screamed and thrashed about when you first found out, and despite his arms wrapped around you in an effort of comfort, Jean wasn't Eren. You pounded against his chest and screamed at him to let you go, to let you leave and find eren. Because it had to be a mistake, Eren wouldn't just leave you behind . . . right?

The blinding veil had been ripped from your heart and left it shattered. You spent several days locked in your room with only a few shirts Eren left behind to comfort you, his natural scent fading away as time passed, just as his love did for you.

Though, just as Patroclus did, you soon found your peace (though it wasn’t as heartwarming as reuniting with your long-lost lover like Patroclus, peace was peace and you would accept it as it came). It took a while, but with the help of your friends and Jean, you were able to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and tape them back together.

But the process of healing is not a simple task.

There were days where you wanted to scream at the stars at the top of your lungs, there were days where you wanted to lock yourself in your room again and cry until there were no more tears for you to give, and there were days where you wanted to shatter Eren’s nose as he did your heart. But you took those days with unwavering confidence and picked up your pieces when they fell again.

You picked them up until there was no more need to pick them up because time had healed you. And while it did hurt to accept it, it was a part of healing.

And so, you accepted that Eren had chosen a life without you.

Eren didn't know whether to be happy or not to see you.

Happy you were alive. Happy he was able to see your face one more time. Happy you had made it out alive from the problems he caused.

His soul ached for him to reach out to you, to hold you close and pepper kisses to your face, and never let you go from the protection of his arms. He ached to take your hand in his and feel the way they fit so perfectly together as if they were made of the same mold. Eren ached to feel the soft pads of your fingers against his cheeks and hear your reassurances that, yes, he was good.

But he stayed put.

And he allowed you to look at him with those beautiful eyes he once loved looking into during the darkest nights that were filled with a love words could not tie-down, but we're now filled with confusion and laced with anger and an array of emotions Eren couldn’t blame you for. Eren allowed you to walk out the door of the airship and into the back where he could hear screams of joy. He let you walk away from him; the echoing sounds of your footsteps getting quieter and quieter as you walked farther away from him.

That was the only time Eren questioned whether what he was doing was right. The more steps you took away from him, the more he had to restrain his body from grabbing you and chaining you to the front of the ship. His body screamed at him to yell, speak, kick, grab you, tackle you, do anything to stop you from leaving.

But he didn't, and he allowed you to walk away.

Eren stared blankly at the metal flooring of the airship as he heard the cheering abruptly stop, and his heart sank. He prayed and prayed to the gods he didn't believe in for someone else to have been hit, that it was someone else bleeding onto the cold floor; because Eren knew he wouldn't be able to go to you. Not with Levi in front of him.

His prayers went unanswered as Jean walked in with two kids, his eyes were red with unshed tears and his hands gripped their clothing as if it were the only thing grounding him to this reality. A reality where you had been shot. A reality that Eren had seen and could have prevented.

Everything seemed to go blank then. It was as if his body shut down, his lands going limp in his lap. The sounds of Mikasa and Armin running out of the room were only white noise, but the sound of your name falling in screams once they saw you were as clear as day.

It was then that Eren realized he was but a pawn in the grand scheme of the memories he held. There was no alternative for him, no way for him to save the people he loved; leaving him to experience loss not once, but twice.

Eren tried to soften the blow of your loss by convincing himself he didn't love you, that your love was nothing but puppy love he clung onto for a small sliver of a normal life, but seeing you again for the first time in years reminded him how much he loved you.

The way you stood with confidence and fought on foreign land made his heart beat with the remembrance of the nights he held you close in his arms and whispered promises of protection and love. Promises of a world of freedom and independence.

"It's you, you, you. Always you,” words once whispered with a love Eren could only dream and long for in the present where you would no longer be there to hear them.

There was no doubt in his mind, in another universe, one where titans didn't roam the earth and the world wasn't against them, Eren would have chosen you in a heartbeat, over and over and over. In a world where his only worries would be what to eat for dinner that night, Eren would hold you close and cherish you just like he wished could in this universe.

But as the memories he inherited played out just as he knew them to and the feeling of losing you weighed heavier on him than it had when he first saw the memory years ago, Eren knew there was nothing else keeping him from becoming the very thing he promised to protect you from.

A monster.

And when Connie walked into the room, his hands stained with your blood and his eyes dripping with the horror of losing someone close, Eren knew what he had done.

Eren chose the world over you.

taglist: @hells-glory-hole @ashveil @stickystrawberrysyrup @420-uwu @kaiwai @the-trash-mammal @dprhvn @noodle-m-c-doodle

#attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #eren x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren jaeger #eren jeager x reader #eren yeager #team eren #angst #attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan headcanon #subtle jean x reader

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lilliganart · 4 years ago

Text

I need someone to tell me what to do thanks, you can just list six characters if you want and I’ll do my best 👌

Tendou, Kirishima, En, Shou (MP100), Hairou, Hisoka

Edit for me: Hide, Kenma, Tobikichi, Hyouta, Denki, Ryuji Suguro

2nd Edit: Katai Makoto, Shadow, Reiner, Alex Louis Armstrong, All Might, Shin

3rd: Madoka, Roromiya (Inu x Boku), Remi (Horimiya), Aina, Nana, Perona

4th: Haida, Legoshi, Shirou (BNA), Ookami (Wolf Children), Inuyasha, Wolfrun (Smile Pretty Cure)

5th: Rui (KNY), Mihai, Alice (Food Wars), Clare (Claymore), Rico (AOT), Neferpitou

6th: Ryou (Food Wars), L, Choso, Tenga Onigawara, Aizawa, Itona Horibe

7th: Akira, Hawks, Kyoutani, Killua, Miruko. Senku

8th: six motherfuckers from TPN

9th: six motherfuckers from OPM

10th: six motherfuckers from Beastars

11th: six motherfuckers from DR Stone

12th: six motherfuckers from Studio Ghibli

13th: six motherfuckers from Dorohedoro

14th: six motherfuckers from Demon Slayer

15th: six motherfuckers from MHA

16th: six motherfuckers from MKDM

17th: six motherfuckers from Saiki K

18th: six motherfuckers from YOI

19th: six motherfuckers from Violet Evergarden

20th: six motherfuckers from Food Wars

21st: six motherfuckers from TSDS

22nd: six motherfuckers from Talentless Nana

23rd: six motherfuckers from Kakegerui

24th: six motherfuckers from Danganronpa

25th: Falco, Senjuro, Daida, Ritsu, Kou Minamoto, Sai (Dr Stone)

27th: Envy, Tsukasa, Kars, Geto, Sesshomaru, Illumi

28th: Ray, Kuroo, Yu Ishigami, Hyakkimaru, Junpei, Fafnir

29th: Mob, Bojji, Gon, Hinata, Koutaro Lives Alone, Kabane Kusaka (Kemono Jihen)

30th: Sanji, Zenitsu, Brock, Tamaki, Christophe Giacometti (YOI), Takumi (maid sama)

31st: Teru, Bakugo, Naruto, Shiki (Kemono Jihen), Genos, Shuu Inuzuka

32nd: Aki, Speed-o-Sound Sonic, Nobunaga (HXH), Ling, Tomioka, Jin

33rd: Asa Mitaka, Hitori Gotoh, Kobeni, Midori Asakusa, Nene Yashiro, Anya Forger

34th: Nami, Hinata, Emma, Asuka, Hiroto Maehara, Ponyo

35th: Kaede Kayano, Tornado of Terror, Ibara (MHA), Aiura (Saiki K), Sakura (TBHK), Sakura (Horimiya)

36th: Ai Hayasaka, Hanada Nikki (Dr Stone), Kanamori Sayaka, Winry Rockbell, Yachi, Sophie (Howl’s Moving Castle)

37th: Yuji, Gilthunder, Mitsuba (TBHK), Coby (One Piece), Kaoru Sakurayashiki, Alice Asmodeus

38th: Taiju, Joseph Joestar, Mondo, Rikido Sato, Basho (HXH), Takeo Gouda

39th: Hanako, Shinji, Denji, Yuta Okkutsu, Edward Elric, Guts

40th: Totoko, Tsubomi, Teruhashi, Aoi, Kiyoko, Osaragi

41st: Inutade, Hakubo, Lum, Arataki Itto, Yamato, ‼️

42nd: Shoto, Akira (Kemono Jihen), Uraume, Sypha, Himuro (The Ice Guy), Kaeya (Genshin), Seiya Kori

43rd: Violet Evergarden, Shoko (ASV), Anna Sasaki, Hana (Wolf Children), Princess Kaguya, Ai Ohto

44th: Riko (Made in Abyss), Sakura Hibiki, Mary Saotome, Hinata Kaho, Kon (Kemono Jihen), Conny (TPN), Rifuta Imu (Saiki)

45th: Akaza, Saiki, Gowther, Leroute (HXH), Miyuki Hoshizora, Jessie

46th: Tenya Iida, Kyoya Ootori, Jin Tachibana, Saki Arima (YLIA), Izumi Miyamura, Leorio

47th: six motherfuckers from Carole & Tuesday

48th: Olivier, Noi, Maki, Kanronji, Sakura (Danganronpa), Bisky (HXH)

49th: Ai Ohto, Nene Yashiro, Canary (HXH),

50th: Hirofumi Yoshida, Kabru, Pariston (HXH), Acca and Ura-Acca, Minamoto Teru, Louis (Beastars)

51st: Carole and Tuesday, Nobara, Marcille, Ryuuji Ayukawa, Kita (BTR), Yachi

52nd: Mob, Laius, Midori, Takahashi Yotasuke, Tome Kurata, Ushijima

53rd: Acca and UraAcca ‼️

54th: Neiru (WEP), Hibana (FF), Nagatoro, Paninya (FMAB), Casca (Berserk), Iris (Violet Evergarden)

55th: Kyoka Jirou, Misato, Rize, Aren (Saiki K), Tooru (Horimiya), Ebisu (Dorohedoro)

56th: Kurapika, Armin, Ryusui, Saiki Kusuke, Yuri (YOI), Mello

57th: Gen, Tsuchigomori, Yushiro, Bokuto, Kita Shinsuke, Death the Kid

58th: Urokodaki, Bang (OPM), Netero, Commander guy from AOT, Watari, Kaseki

59th: Panda, Gouhin, Shao May, Tony Tony Chopper, Principal Nezu, Monokuma

60th: Serizawa, Daichi, Gojo (Dress Up Darling), ‼️

61st: Kabru, Hakubo, Phichit (YOI)

62nd: Shima (skip and loafer), Yatora, Denji ‼️

63rd: Sanji, Reigen, Spike, Jigen, Shoko Ieiri, ‼️

64th: Yoshida, Shimazaki, Greeling, Nagumo (Sakamoto Days), Toji Fushiguro, !!

65th: Sesshomaru, Geto Suguru, Douma !!

#six fanarts #art challenge

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theglitterypages · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! I’m a new follower so i’m not quite sure if you accept requests now but if u do! i have this request that i think would be really nice!

I just read ur one shot called “behind the scenes” and i literally fell in love with it! I was thinking if you could do a sequel or part two where levi and reader talk about what he said in the interview and come to terms with their feelings for each other and then he says that they will take it slow and court reader properly.

After that, they would have like cute moments together like, she goes live on ig or such and he join and then flirts with her through the comment section 😆🥰 they have like small dates. And then when they film again for the next season, the other actors will ask what’s the deal with the both of them and Levi says he’s courting reader ><

Just a thought hehe i hope you have a great day!

Title: Behind The Scenes Part Two

Pairings: Levi x fem! Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3000

A/N: Hello darling, I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond, I've been a little busy in cleaning our house these days and I'm trying to spend less time using gadgets that's why I rarely find time to write. Anyways, I hope you'll like this one. This is not proofread so Expect many errors, I will edit this in no time. Thanks for requesting dearie💗💗💗

Read Part 1 Here

°°°°°

“Let's see each other next season! Good luck on your upcoming projects especially you Miss Marvel!” Zeke walked towards you and hugged you tight.

The whole cast just finished eating dinner, it was a dinner filled of laughter, the whole cast talked about the days on set, the silly things and other stuffs. Throughout the years of filming attack on titan, every one became each other's best friends and every time the filming are finished it's kinda sad because it will take time before you guys start filming together again.

“Goodnight everyone!”

Levi guided you towards the parking lot, his car was parked beside Eren who's now opening the door for Mikasa. “Drive straight my sister home, it's late.” Eren nodded and saluted to Levi before he climbed up the car and drove off.

Levi, on the other hand also opened the door of the car for you before he entered the car himself.

••••

“Thanks for driving me home, Lev. Do you want go inside for some tea?”

“It's fine, I don't wanna keep you up. We barely had enough time to sleep these days because of the promotions and stuffs.” Despite of saying that Levi is still standing in front of you, his eyes are full of hesitation and he kept opening his mouth just to pursed his lips together again as if holding himself back.

You are holding yourself back as well, you wanted to talk about what he said on the interview, you wanted to make things clear but you're too scared to do so.

Levi is a man who's hard to read, you wouldn't know if what he's saying is for the sake of fun or it is because he meant it.

Maybe he said that because you two are good friends, right, that's the only logical reason that popped into your mind.

You smiled fakely, trying to hide your disappointment to the fact that he's not gonna say anything, you get ready to turn your back on him to go inside your house but Levi suddenly held your hand, causing you to look back at him with wide eyes, “W-What is it?” you stammered.

“I mean it.”

“You mean what?”

Your heart is beating so fast, you're suddenly wondering it is because of Levi or it is because you have a heart problem.

Levi sighed and squeezed your hand gently as he looked into your eyes, he prepared himself a lot of times already but why is he getting afraid all the time?

He wanted to say it, say that this is more than just a friendship, that this is more than a job, that what he's doing is not a publicity stunt but he's tongue-tied. His mind went blank the moment he met your gaze, everything that he practiced before all of this has gone into the abyss.

But if he won't take a step forward, he'll always be at the same place and he wouldn't want that.

“I like you—no scratch that, I'm in love with you.”

“We had no liquor earlier so you can't be drunk. I have no times for jokes right now Lev.” you wanted to say that you like him too but what if this is just a joke? Can you afford to lose the friendship you to has?

Levi took a deep breath before he slowly nipped your chin and leaned down, his lips almost touching yours. “I know this is ridiculous but I..fell in love with you. At first I thought it was just because I'm portraying a man who's possibly in love with your character but as time passes by, I realized I'm not portraying Levi's feelings anymore.” he closed his eyes and gulped hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he do so.

“On Erwin's last day on shoot, I've realized that my remaining time with you are short and I realized that I'm not ready to let all of this end just like that.”

Flashback

“Okay so Levi you'll be choosing between Armin and Erwin, you know what to do just show us that you're heartbroken without obviously doing it and then once Samantha and Hanji came in look at Samantha with a face of relief, because in this scene Levi is glad to see her alive.” Levi nodded to the director, the make up artists put more fake bloods all over his face and when he sat nearby Erwin, the latter opened his eyes.

“Come on, man. Loosen up, the camera's not yet rolling.” Erwin smiled, Levi is a passionate actor and he gives his best in his craft, this series for example, Levi doesn't have any stunt doubles, he learned martial arts for the role and he did great portraying Levi Ackerman.

“Lights, Camera, Action!”

The scene went well and everyone cheered since this is the last day of filming for Erwin's character, Armin immediately hugged his older co-actor, Jean and Connie did the same while Mikasa and Sasha are clapping and smiling at the production team.

You and Levi are standing side by side behind Erwin, “This is sad.” you commented while Levi sighed beside you, “Imagine what my old guy feels.” Levi told you referring to his character in the series, you shrugged your shoulders and walked towards Erwin to hug him.

“You're the best, Commander Erwin.” you smiled and did the salute in the series before chuckling, “Shinzou wo Sasageyo!” you told him and the other actors heard you, everyone started doing the salute and shouted, “Shinzou wo Sasageyo!” Erwin looked around and smiled at everyone.

“Oh come on! It's not like I'm real dead, it's just my character.”

That wraps up the filming that day, while everyone was busy taking pictures with Erwin because this is his last day, Levi remained watching the whole cast from afar.

His eyes landed on you as you cry hugging Erwin, telling him that you'll miss working with him.

That was when Levi had come to realize that once this series is finished, he will never be ready to share the last moment on and off screen with you.

He's been working in this industry for a long time, not all friendships formed in work could last after a project is done, that was one of the reason why he's doing his best not to get attached especially in leading ladies but right now, for working so long with these whole cast it is inevitable to be attached to someone so similar to him yet different in other ways.

A small smile made its way across his lips as he see you laugh with the casts as you stood beside his sister.

One thing has come to his mind at that moment, he will never be ready to let you go.

End of Flashback

“I don't want to pressure you or anything. We can take it slow, I'm ready to court you properly, I haven't done any of that before but I'll do everything...let's just give it a try.”

All you could do was stare at him, blinking slowly as you tried processing everything he said, it was surprising to see him tremble like this, you can feel how cold his hands are and how his eyes are glassy because of the tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

“Well...I like you too but we'll take things slow, right? I don't want any of us to be hurt.”

“I understand—wait, what? You like me too?”

“Should I take that back?”

“No!”

You yelped with surprise when he hugged you tightly, his arms wrapped around you as he whisper sweet nothings on your ear.

“Levi it's too tight.” you giggled and he immediately pulled away, his cheeks are red so are his ears, he's cute with that blush but the way he smiled at you makes you feel like you've won the lottery, who knew you could see the Levi Cold Ackerman smile like this?

“I promise, I'll do my best.” he told you before pressing his lips on your forehead.

••••••

“Miss Y/N? Ahm the show asked if you could go live on Instagram to entertain the fans and inform them that you'll be in the Night Show.” you smiled at the staff and took the tablet in her hands since you'll be using the show's account to go live.

You started the live while your hairstylist is still fixing your hair, “As you guys can see my beloved hairstylist is not yet done fixing my hair, I will be at the Night Show! Oh my gosh I don't know what to say next, I'm just gonna read the comments.” your hairstylist laughed at your silliness and took a glance on the screen before turning her attention back to your hair.

“Okay, @ynsupremacy says she's been waiting for me to appear on the show. Oh thank you very much dearie! I've always wanted to be here too thanks for your support.”

“Oh my gosh take it easy babes, I can't read everything in just one go.”

You scrolled through the comments and sees a familiar username, “Someone deadass spammed the comment section you guys, Levi you little bastard stop spamming. Let my babies talk to me.” you narrowed your eyes at the screen before reading Levi's comment.

“I can't believe Angels go live on Instagram, says @captainlev.”

You looked back at your hairstylist after hearing her read Levi's comment, you blushed and she laughed at your reaction before shaking her head. “What? I was just reading. Nice on Captain Lev!” she smirked at the camera before looking back at you.

“I'll be back in a minute.” she said before walking out of the room.

You could still see Levi's comments but you did your best to ignore it so you could talk to your fans. “Hello @erenlegalwife happy birthday! I'm gonna tell Eren that it's his legal wife's birthday.” you chuckled. It's amusing to see their usernames, the comments are also hilarious but there are some bashers in the comments. You didn't mind them and just proceeded in interacting with your fans.

Another comment was shown but before you could even read it someone covered your eyes and you squealed, you removed their hands off your eyes and when you looked back you gasped in surprise.

“You kept on ignoring my comments, meanie.” Levi smirked as he opened his arms, asking for a hug and when you're too slow to hug him he's the one to walk towards you and hug you tight as he laughed loudly. “I scared you big time didn't I?” he teased.

You hit his back and pullled away from the hug. “God, I hate you.” it's been two months since you two confessed to each other, just like what he said, you two are taking it slow.

You guys are going out on dates from time to time yet there's no official relationship status, you didn't need the label actually, you're sure Levi wouldn't break your heart or anything, you just want to enjoy every time that you're with him.

“Okay, Levi will be joining us too but believe me I have no idea that he's a guest as well.” you told the fans as they ask you in the comment section.

“Figured I gotta surprise you, it's much better this way right?”

“You told me you're filming for that movie, big liar.”

Levi laughed and pinched your cheeks gently, “Sorry, I just want to surprise you.” he smiled sweetly and you looked away, blushing. “Pft. Never mind...” you bit your lower lip and scrolled through the comments but Levi already read something out loud.

“Ooh... @levisamlover says ‘you two look good together, just date already’ thank you for that. I also think that we look really good with each other, thanks for supporting my claim.” he smirked.

••••

“Are you sure you're fine with us just having a date at home? Well you probavly don't wanna let the press see us.” Levi asked as he wrapped jis arms around your shoulder, pulling you close to him as you two watch a movie.

“Hmm, nah the press has been seeing us two a lot but I don't care, I just want to stay close with you like this.” you told him, hugging him sideways, Levi chuckled and kissed the top of your head before feeding you some popcorn.

In the middle of the movie, Levi looked down on you just to see you asleep with a pout on your lips. He chuckled to himself and he slowly scoop you up being careful not to wake you up. He carried you towards your bedroom and he lay you down on the bed gently.

He smiled at your sleeping form before kissing your forehead. “I love you, do you know that? The day's ending yet I'm still 'ere falling in love with you again and again, deeper and deeper at every moment that passes by.” he took his phone from his pocket and took a picture of you, it became his new hobby, he's not the type to love taking pictures before but now that he has you, he wants to capture every moment.

He wants every moment to be saved, so he can go back to it every time that he misses you.

••••

“Nice job YN! Another action stunt beautifully done!”

You let out a sigh of relief when you're done filming your part, you guys are filming Eren's fight with the War Hammer Titan, along with the Survey corps fighting scene.

When you've finally done your part you immediately sat on the floor, feeling drained because of the insane stunts you had to do.

Levi was quick to hand you a bottled of water, he also naturally took his handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe your sweats, technically it is your PA's job but Levi was way faster than them.

Zeke and Reiner who just got finished their parts too, laughed at the scene because your PA was standing awkwardly as she watch Levi steal her job. “Man, I can't be the only one feeling that something changed with this two.” Zeke smirked nudging Reiner's sides, the latter hummed to agree before flicking his eyes on you and Levi.

“He's not even using his trailer anymore. He's with her all the time, Levi is acting sus.”

“Not to mention the fact that they kept on stealing glances all the time.” Hanji appeared behind the two holding her phone in her hand as she captures a photo of you and Levi laughing together. “Once we caught 'em in the act they'll spill the beans, believe me.” Armin who just finished filming also appeared holding his bottled water.

“I have a plan.” Hanji smirked deviously.

•••

“What, you're telling me to flirt with YN? Mikasa, I don't want to get killed by your brother.” Eren complained when he found out that the plan that they were thinking was getting Levi jealous so he would spill the tea.

Mikasa glared at Eren and smacked the back of his head. “Just do it, we'll be here to do something once he attempt to kill you.” Eren stared at her unbelievably before looking at his older brother. “Why don't you tell Armin to do it?” Zeke pushed his glasses up his nose before shaking his head. “Nah, Armin is like her son, Levi won't get jealous but you, a fuckboy would appear as a threat.” Zeke explained and everyone agreed.

“Man you're the one who flirts like a Seahorse.” Armin told him.

Eren narrowed his eyes, unable to understand Armin's sentence. “What do you mean by that smart-ass?” he growled.

“Seahorses flirts a lot, you're just like them.”

“I hate you all.”

Zeke got impatient of his brother's drama and he immediately pushed him towards your direction, the poor man almost landes face flat on the floor if you weren't able to grab his arm.

“Eren!” you gasped and helped him up, when Eren got up his face is pale, he smiled awkwardly and looked back at his brother to send a glare on his way before looking back at you. “You look beautiful today, YN.” he complimented.

You were taken aback by the sudden compliment so you just smiled before tapping his back, “Thanks, you look handsome today too, nice stunts by the way.” Eren looked around and he sees no traces of Levi so he loosened up a bit.

“I was just wondering if you'd like to have some coffee, there's this new coffee shop nearby and I've heard they have nice coffee.”

“Oh yes su—”

“She doesn't like coffee.”

Eren wanted to run when he heard Levi spoke behind him but he had no choice but to look at him, “Hey Lev! What's up?” Levi raised his brow to Eren, he didn't respond to him and went to your side as he glares at Eren.

“Play nice.”

“What am I? Your dog?” he whispered and you glared at him. “I'm just saying that you should act nice.” Levi crossed his arms over his chest and let out a deep breath. “I am nice.” you shook your head and massaged the bridge of your nose, there's no point in calming a jealous Levi.

“Ohohoho! I see what's happening here! Seems like sugar plum and captain grumpy is hiding somethin' eh? Spill it. What's with the possesiveness and lovey-dovey moments?”

Levi's eyes widened for a secons before he looked away, his ears and cheeks are red. Zeke's teasing smirk tells him that the man already know something, Hanji, Mikasa and Armin's stares are also meaningful, it seems like they're pressuring him to give an answer.

Levi clicked his tongue and acted cool as he looked at his co-actors and sister.

“I'm courting her, got any problem with that? Flirt with her again and you're done, Yeager.” he held your hand and dragged you away from the group while Zeke and Eren's laughter boomed at the whole set.

“YEAGERS! QUIET!”

137 notes · View notes

waywardimpalawriter · 4 years ago

Note

“Kissing me breaks the promise… remember?" with Javier and can I please have a happy ending, I know it's angst prompts but.... :D Thank you!

Crazy Love

Pairing: Javier Peña x Plus Size Female Reader

Characters: Javier Peña, Steve Murphy, mentions Connie Murphy

Setting: After season one episode 7 ‘You will cry tears of blood’, five months after the events in ‘Heels’,

Rating: M (Mature), E (Explicit), NSFW, 18+ only please

Warnings: mentions of gun violence, almost killing a child, self hatred, smut, unprotected sex, Angry Javier (yes he needs a warning), angst, slight fluff at the end,

Summary: One slip up, reacting too quickly he could’ve ended the life of one way too young to fight the wars of old men. Thoughts filled with darkness, what if’s and self degradation. Wanting to loose himself in the only way he knows. To find because of you he can brave the dawn and the coming war.

Word count: 5,985 (with lyrics)

Notes: Thank you so much for the request sweetie, @autumnleaves1991-blog I hope you enjoy. Prompt in bold. The song used is ‘Crazy Love’ written by Van Morrison and preformed by various artists. This also a sequel to “Heel’s part 1” written some months back.

Tag List:

Forever’s: @chickensarentcheap @jedi-mando

Knuckles white with the grip he’s got on the steer wheel, eyes darting between the thin packed streets and Murphy with the baby in his arms. “What about the kid? Any ideas where to take her?”

Missing the shrug, with his eyes back on the road, “For now I’ll take her with us.” Smirk twitching his dark blond mustache with the look Javier pins him with at a stop light. “Don’t worry Javi she ain’t gonna stay with you. Poor darlin can’t live on whiskey and cigarettes. Though the parade of women might slow with her at your apartment.”

“There’s no parade jackass,” trying to focus on the road ahead and off what almost occurred three hours ago.

Subtle tick to his jaw knowing something’s bothering his partner about what went down. More to the point of how it went to shit and letting two high ranking Sicario slip through their fingers. “Wanna spill what’s eaten at you?”

“No just take care of the kid don’t need you play shrink in my head,” pulling up to the embassy, Javier kills the engine turning fully to look at Steve. “Care to share your explanation to Noonan or will you wing it?”

Shrugging Steve glances down into her sleepy eyes trying to figure out just what he’ll say. More importantly what he’s going to tell Connie. “I’m not,” looking back over at Peña seeing a raised brow. “I’ll take her home to Connie, figure out this shit as we go.”

“I’m sure Y/N would babysit,” mentioning you name cut deeply as the last month he’s put distance between the two of you. Continuing the relationship based solely on your sexual needs instead of the feeling he keeps buried.

“Doubtful, she’s working on transferring out. Packing I’m sure takes her time up right now,” seeing the scowling confusion drawing his brows down. “You knew she asked for a transfer right?”

“When?” Curses fill his mind. Directed fully at himself for letting the situation spiral out of control to the point you’ve become that notch on his bed post. Telling himself he’s going to let you go but never finding the courage to actually cut the strings. “She never mentioned taking a transfer. ”

The nights spent together you never mentioned a transfer. But then words rarely left either of your lips that’s not in passionate pleas wanting more or demands for completion. Conversations the first to go in the crumbling relationship, embraces followed not long after and the final straw added a month and a half ago. No kisses on the mouth anyway a promise you made him invoke to separate the past pleasures from the present stalemate.

Revisiting those thoughts often, Javier understood why you made the decision. One he hated but respected. Wondering most nights why you still let him inside your soft plush body instead of putting up a wall between the two of you. Shoving him out of your life fully. But then the transfer you didn’t speak of talked louder than any uttered words could.

“Two weeks ago, something about returning back to the States. Damn shame Y/N’s a fucking amazing secretary even better person. Why’d you go fuck things up for us both?” Wanting to knock some sense into Javier but a part of Steve understood the other man’s reasons for pushing you away. “Just let her go man this job she’s not fit nor can put up with the stress. I know I pushed at first but whatever you did to shover her away it’s for the best.”

“She’s a lot stronger than you know,” said more to himself than Steve. Other mans words hitting deeper than Javier would say, his fingers tightening around the leather steering wheel. “You don’t know shit Murphy.”

“I know a month ago things changed between the two of you.” Switching the baby to his other arm cradling her close to his chest. “Whatever happened she become withdrawn, stopped smiling as much,” piercing him with a hard stare. “Reverting back to the woman I first met when coming Bogota.” Glancing out the windshield Steve drag a hand over his face exasperated sigh leaving his lips. “ piece of advice either fess up explain what’s eaten at you or let her go.”

Selfishness claws at his mind wanting to keep you from leaving. From getting away not only from Columbia it’s self but from him. The realistic half needing you safe a world removed from the war starting to build back up. This afternoon’s events flash through his mind of how he almost killed a kid. A fucking kid who tried to protect the Sicario scum he chased and cornered. Would’ve had him had the kid not pulled a gun on him. The decision not to pull the trigger an easy one this time. But what about the next? Making him no better than the men he chases if he decided to take the shot so easily. Affirming those thoughts to let you go for your greater good and health.

“Javi?” Snapping fingers to gain his attention. “Deep in thought or just swimming the shallow waters?”

Scowl taking up home over his features, “Don’t worry about it doesn’t concern you.”

“Fuck you say, she’s my friend to Javi.” Shaking his blond head wondering how much pushing it’ll take before Peña would break. “Besides I think Connie has a good chance at kicking your ass if you do anymore damaged. She’s wanted to get her hooks into you for a while now.”

Almost chuckling at those words though it’s mirthless and self deprecating. “She’s next in line,” tossing the words out while starting the Jeep. Silence reigns on the drive over to their apartment, pulling up to the curb and letting Steve out.

Who pauses in the open door, “Heading to Y/N’s? Or back to the Embassy?”

“Paperwork,” impatiently waiting for Steve to shut the door.

Eager for some peace and time to think. He sees you standing in the doorway arms crossed under your generous breasts. For once actually studying your features taking in the fact you look somber, dressed in well loved jeans and baggy T-shirt. No makeup, though Javi told you a thousand times how beautiful you look without all those cosmetics painted on your face. Heart kicking up at the way your staring at him. Barely seen with you so far away but he knows there’s a softness shining in your eyes. Emotions he’s never tried to decipher in other women till you. Thoughts now run into each other, fears chasing after wanting so much but feeling undeserving.

Soft chuckle echos around the Jeep’s cabin making Javi glance at Steve, “Time better served explaining than useless paperwork.” Looking over his shoulder to find you gone, “Before it’s to late and she’s gone.” Door slamming shut, Steve leans in through the open window with a meaningful expression on his handsome face. Patting the inside slight nod of his blond head before turning to go inside leaving Javier with to many thoughts.

Pulling away from the curb happening to glance back towards the apartments catching you standing at the window. Hand pressed to the glass unreadable look on your face one he’s sure shows signs of displeasure and anger. With a blink your silhouette disappears heart clenching at the thought he’s just imagined you standing there. Another curse flies from his lip, palm forcefully slamming down on the steering column doing nothing to temper the anger boiling inside his mind. Instead Javier guns the engine taking off at a high rate of speed receiving numerous honks in irritated warning.

*************************

Letting the curtain fall back in place wild thumping of your heart pulsing out a rhythm that aches with every pound. Partly hating yourself for getting involved with a man incapable of having any kind of relationship other than sexual. Asking yourself why you keep letting him back into your bed, into your heart knowing it’ll just break in the end. Only one answer comes to mind and you push it firmly back into the dark abyss. Focusing on what you needed to done. Having struggled for the last two months with the decision to finally put in for a transfer home, away from Columbia and Javier Peña. Never an easy choice especially when you’ve fallen in love with a man who would never love you back.

Heavy knocking makes you jump in spot leaning against the wall by the window. Hand coming to rest against the quickly beating organ threatening to thump right outta your chest. Taking a breath trying to calm down from the freight you take small steps to eat up the distance towards the door. Another round of pounding has a scowl appearing wondering who would beat your door down at this time of evening.

“Hold your horses I’m comin’ already,” raising you voice loud enough to at least pause the noise.

Grasping the doorknob right when, “Hermosa,” his voice pulls your hand back almost as if the knob burned you with that very endearment. “Open up you can’t hide I know your there.”

“Go away Javier I’m not in the mood,” arms crossed glaring at the door. Pivoting on bare feet to track towards the kitchen going back to sorting through what your keeping and leaving behind. Freezing in place the unmistakeable sound of a key sliding into lock. Cursing the fact you never asked for the spare back and giving him one in the first place. Try as you might to make your feet move instead there rooted in spot when the door opens. “I didn't invite you in Javi turn your ass around and leave.”

Breath escaping quickly, eyes narrowing after searching the apartment he’s spent the last months in. Catching sight of half filled boxes, newspaper scattered over the coffee table, before landing on your furious features. Hands gripping wide hips, soft chin jutted out in annoyance while eyes spit anger burying the true feelings deep. “It’s true?”

“Why do you care?” Countering his words biting the inside of your cheek to keep tears from sliding coldly down your cooling skin. “Leave Javier,” exasperated and tired just wanting to move on, putting the relationship in the past.

Not two steps away his warm gun callused hand incloses around your wrist tugging and turning your plush body around to face him. “Not till you answer me.”

“We don’t talk about feelings remember Peña, your rules,” yanking your wrist free glare firmly in place.

Flinching at the harsh tone eyes scorching him with there intensity, his own somber and filled with regret. Deserving of those very words no matter how much they hurt. He moves forward for you to take one back reaching to grasp both shoulders. Taking another step out of his reach slow two step pattern finds your back pressed against the bar counter. Reminiscent of the first time you made love all those months ago. Except this time you’d stand strong push him away and not fall prey to those warm russet eyes filled with so many indescribable emotions.

“Stupid rule I never should’ve put in our relationship,” three feet of space between the two of you. Both chests heaving breaths eyes locked and searching. His eyes close drawing in your familiar scent letting it wash all the days stress clean for a single moment in time. Ear’s picking up the quick beating of your heart wishing as his eyes open a smile would bloom over those kissably soft lips.

“But you did and there’s no taking it back now,” firm stance starting to crumble under the weight of emotions filtering through his dark eyes.

Half way to reaching out his hands drop back to fist at his sides, “I’m sorry hermosa I didn’t mean…” unsure how to fix what’s broken. Never good at speaking his feelings even when the need presents its self.

I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles

And the heavens open every time she smiles

And when I come to her that's where I belong

Yet I'm running to her like a river's song

“What’d want from me Javier?” Pleading tone arms crossed to close your body off. Putting up a defense against the one man who’s managed to crumble every wall surround your heart. To starve off the bubbling emotions threatening to spill over and consume you.

Closing the small gap, callused hands cup both cheeks, fingers spread from apples to jawlines. Brushing his thumbs under your eyes his own pleading and soft ‘the puppy’ look you nicknamed it two weeks into the relationship. “To kiss you.”

Swallowing harshly, “Kissing me breaks the promise… remember?" Willing your body not to react, not to turn and place kisses to his palm. Nuzzling the warmth drawing peace from his comforting touch. “We made rules you know how I feel about kissing Javi.”

Almost two months ago things started to fall apart. Always asking yourself why you still let him into your bed and body. Part of you knowing the space carved Javier hole in your heart will never close. Not even denying the both of you those intimate kisses could change the fact he’s wormed his way through defenses long held too fall in love with your DEA agent.

“I know mi amor,” sliding one hand down from your face to wrap his arm around your thick waist. Pulling you flush into his embrace and against his body. Turning the both of you so it’s his back pressed into the counter. Savoring the softness wishing you’d hold him. Run your fingers through his hair and chase away the stress currently resurfacing with your tense posture. “I don’t want you to leave.” No truer words spoken ones that cut his very soul with the implications of what could happen if he didn’t take Steve’s advice.

Agony rips a new hole in your heart at his words, at the endearment dripping from those sinful lips. “You don’t mean that.” Eyes close to keep from staring into russet browns. Trying not to give in and foolishly hope he means what he speaks.

“I do hermosa,” eyes popping open at the barest brush of his chapped lips against yours, widen orbs find his shut, brow furrowed. “I don’t want to loose you.”

“Javier,” breathlessly whispering his name. The intensity of Javi’s declaration scares you not wanting to believe for a second his words ring true. Not when so many broken promises lay at your feet. Yet, if there’s one thing you know about Javier Peña he’s honest, never lying to you about what he wanted. Holding back sure, not letting you in those tightly held defenses of his own fuck yes, but lie to you never. Those thoughts make others chase after. Ones that scare you into thinking you’ve made a huge mistake by asking for the transfer. Could you leave his man who holds your heart? Walk away from a relationship that’s possibly just hitting a rough patch? So engrossed in those thoughts you don’t realize he’s tipping your chin up to angle your head in the prefect position to slot his mouth over yours.

Javier’s restraint having snapped with his name slipping from your bitten lips, wanting to meld the two of you together in the only way he knows how. Showing you with his body what his words couldn’t express. Javier captures your mouth in a bruising kiss filled with demands. Teeth biting at your lips, dragging plump bottom in to abuse with nibbles and soothing over with his tongue. Harsh gasp blown from your mouth giving him access to the warm cavern. Drinking from your well, tasting your flavor on his tongue always returning for more. Tangling together as his arm tightens around your soft waist.

Garnering a moan of need from deep within your chest. Attacking his mouth with your own, fingers coming into play by carding through those thick mahogany strands tugging harshly. Receiving a growl in return that vibrates down to your very core clit throbbing in response to his rough actions.

Mouths parting to gather air, “I need you hermosa please,” desperation coloring his tone foreheads resting together. The hand still cupping your cheek slides around to gently cup the back of your head. “I need…” swallowing hard, fighting to keep from taking you hard and fast right there. Burying the fear and pain, the anger and worry into your soft gentle body. Letting you sooth the demons threatening to consume his soul. But he couldn’t, promising to never show that side of himself to you.

Those thoughts in mind Javier moves in to kiss you only to chase your mouth till you place fingers over his searching lips. Seeing a spark of need in he eyes that’s closed away before fully blooming. Leading you to remember a conversation the two of you had at the on set of your relationship. Knowing what he needed and how, you step back watching his features fall with his arms to the side.

Only to have confusion replace the crestfallen expression as you tug the t-shirt up and off your body. Standing in just your panties and jeans, “I told you a long time ago Javier I’m not made of glass this body…” hands gliding up from your waist to soft tummy and generous breasts. “Won’t break if your rough with me.” Heat sparking in eyes that will him to listen, give in and take you. “If I’m staying and we work this out you’ll have to let me in.”

Each word hits him hard square in the heart, “I don’t want to hurt you cariño.”

“You already have Javier,” head dropping you go to tug your shirt back on. Only to have it ripped from your hand and tossed somewhere unseen. That soft gasp making his heart beat triple time. Strong arms wrap around your body to bring you back into his warmth. “Fix what you broke.”

There’s no gentleness to the possessive kiss Javier captures your mouth with. Large warm hands grip your plush ass to press into your tummy the thick ridge of his jeans covered erection. Low growl slipping passed parted gasping lips that angle for the right spot to draw those whimpers and moans he can never get enough of. Separating long enough to have you rip his tan button up open, little plastic disks pinging off the wall and tiled floor. Scoring your short nails over his soft tummy, toying with the button of his jeans.

“Fuck,” hissing through kiss swollen lips that attack your neck with bitting teeth. Wanting to mark each inch of you in reminder to himself of who you derive your pleasure from. “Do that again,” demanding cadence gets a soft smirk to spread over your bitten lips.

Keeping your eyes lock, breath existing quickly because of the passionate kiss. Short nails rake up his chest and leave little red lines behind. Detouring to pinch his pebbled tight nipples receiving another low growl against the skin of your collarbone. Where his mouth sucks a purpling mark laving his tongue over the bruising skin. Enjoying the shutter he feels race down your spine.

Pushing the shirt from his shoulders Javier raises his head to stare into your desire darken eyes. “Fuck me Javier till I can’t walk tomorrow.”

Simple words ignite a passion and deep seated need inside his body to claim and wreak you. Clothing becomes nothing more than obstacles in the way of having naked skin against his own. The two of your fumbling with buttons and zippers. His parting on a sigh of relief as you push the fabric to pool around his ankles. Nimble fingers brushing through course little hairs. Leading your hand to wrap around his shaft. Thick girth barely covered by your hand that you pump along heated velvet skin.

Smirking at the groaning string of Spanish curses falling from his lips. Only replaced by the pout, when he brushes your hand away. Mouth still just inches from yours brushing taking another sip from your lips. Drowning in the taste of your mouth, the feel of your plump lips against his. Devouring the pout and only breaking to whisper, “Later princesa.” Toeing off boots and soak covered feet pressing out of jeans, naked as on his born day for your eyes to devour.

Becoming insnared with his beauty far too long for Javier’s liking. Lips licked slowly watching the bob of his jutting cock. Mouth watering in want of a taste. Quick breaths expanded his soft covered muscular chest your hands itch to dust over. His handsomeness distracting you to the point a squeal issues from the back of your throat when he pulls you by the belt loops towards the couch. Skilled fingers making quick work of getting your jeans undone warm palms sliding the fabric down your body.

Javier drops back into the couch bringing you between his spread knees and placing kisses to your tummy. Nuzzling the underside of your breasts. Looking up to ensnare your vision with his own desire filled gaze. Strong arms holding you in place while eyes close, nose rubbing into your soft scantly skin resting his head on your tummy. Hands coming up to card through his hair gently this time tugging the locks and wrapping his shoulders with your arms. Emotions clogging your throat burning with the need to release the tears of mixed feelings.

Moaning head tossing back when his warm tongue peeking out to teasing the taut nipples his hands tug your panties down. Becoming impatient and ripping the thin cotton from your body. Making you gasp and look down into those desire blacken eyes you choose happily to drown in. “You’ll…” swallowing your words on a moan as those thick skilled fingers draw through your folds. Tapping your clit several times and retreating to slide inside your clinching walls.

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

She's got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down

And when I come to her when the sun goes down

Take away my trouble, take away my grief

Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief

“I’ll buy you more cariño and go with you to help pick out certain ones,” giving you a cheeky wink. Groaning with the feel of slick coating his fingers, smirk in place when your hands brace on his shoulders to keep from tipping over into his arms. Pulling his fingers out to suck them clean making sure your watching his every move. The resounding whimper he draws out brings the same smug grin too tug at his lips. Gripping the back of your thick thighs to spread your stance and slot his own knees between.

Pulling you down against him knees on either side of his thighs. Hiss issued at the contact of your dripping folds coating his shaft trapped between your bodies. Rolling hips to tease your own hands gripping the back of the couch to brace yourself while raising up. Deep moan breaks from your chest when Javier draws the fat cock head through your folds. Circling your clit as your hips match the movements. Waiting till he’s notched himself at your entrance before slamming down against him.

Head tossing back at the stretch and burn of him splitting you open gasps of delight echo and play with the groans from Javier. Who grips your hips, holding you against him for a time face buried in your chest. Hot mouth searching out blindly latching onto your right nipple to bite down just hard enough to make your quivering channel squeeze him tightly.

“Fuck,” single word mumbled against your skin. When you start to move setting a quick pace that’s hard and demanding. Head dropping back between your gripping hands. String of curses and praise leave his lips. “Just like that hermosa, so fucking wet for me,” grunting into your mouth that came to fuss to his. Sharing breaths while you move against his body.

Taking possession of his pleasure with a kiss that’s deep and hungry. Devouring the sounds he makes with each quick roll of your hips. Pressing your generous breasts against the hard plains of his chest, nipples brushing his skin as his own hands grip your thick soft waist. Leaving behind bruises with how tightly he holds you. One hand gliding over sweat slicked skin to cup a full ass cheek giving a squeeze before landing a hard slap.

Movements falter with the stinging pleasure coursing through your veins, “Javi.” Kiss breaking breathlessly to catch his eyes. Seeing the indecision clearly written, you nod leaning to brushing your lips over his ear, “Again please.”

Mouth buries against the spot where shoulder and neck meet, planting his feet firmly to thrust into your welcoming cunt quicker. Letting a moment pass till he lands another smack to the other ass cheek. Soothing the pain with his warm palm, “Like that princesa?” Drawing his nose over the sweaty expanse of his throat tossed back on a gasp. Bearing your neck to his hungry gaze and mouth.

Taking advantage to bite and suck, thick mustache abrading your skin in the most delicious of ways. Sending tingles to dance across your skin making your clit throb with each hard pound of his cock deep inside your quivering walls. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders for leverage as your knees sink into the couch and you bounce on Javier’s cock. Thick thighs shaking as orgasm builds quicker than you thought possible.

“Yes,” whimpering out in answer. Both hands cup your ass helping you move against him. Sweat slicked shoulders make for a tough grip movements becoming choppy and sloppy. Low whine bubbles from the back of your throat needing more but unsure how to say.

Javier picks up on the destress, pulling out making the whine lengthen. “Lay back on the couch for me hermosa,” seeing the confusion in your gaze. Javi tugs you to sit in the corner of the couch, pulling till your almost flat and he crawls between those thick thighs he wants wrapped around his waist.

Sliding back inside of you on a groan, “Still so tight for me princesa I could stay buried in your pretty pussy forever never growing tired of having your surround me.”

“Javi,” heat flares across your body at his words, face buried in your palms. Only to have them pulled and placed on his chest. Shocked yet pleased with his sentiments, the way he growls out the words setting off tingles dancing down your spine.

Gasping when he pulls out resting just the tip before surging back angling to hit that little spot only he’s managed to discover inside you. Right leg draped over his hip left dangling off the couch as your hands scrap and grope at his shoulders. Strong arms press on either side of you holding himself up while rocking his hips into yours. Setting a fast and hard pace that has you gasping, moans of incoherent words tumble from your mouth that hangs open trying to gather breath.

Watching with hooded eyes, drinking in the way you look, the passion morphing your features never wanting to let you go. To always see you in the throws of pleasure he delivers to your body. Praying to whoever will listen that you’ll stay. Those thoughts creating a fire inside his body that moves quicker.

Wanting to show you his feelings by repeatedly burying his cock deep inside your throbbing cunt. Loving your soft thick body with his mouth latching onto a breast. Nipping skin and taunt nipples, curling his tongue before biting down and switching to the twin. Feeling your nails score his back and shoulders only driving on his own pleasure.

Needing you to cum first though, Javier slides one hand between your slick bodies to caress your clit with tight circles of pressure. Smirking into your flesh when you gasp and squirm under him. His name breathlessly spoken to the heavens your back arching off the couch. “That’s my girl cum for me amor soak my cock.”

“Javier,” fingers card through his hair pulling his mouth back to yours. Tender and sweet nothing like the previous kisses as you pour your heart out to the man pounding you into the couch. Foreheads rest together, moans dripping from your lips brushing against his trying to hold back to draw out the pleasure. Afraid of the final moment he finds completion and walks out of your life maybe for good this time. “I love you,” unable to stop those three words from tumbling out. Orgasm slamming through your body with the hard thrusts of Javier’s hips. Crying out his name, arching against him breath stuck along with tears in your throat.

Swearing he heard things, Javier’s pace stuttered but his heart pounds quicker. Hips having a mind of their own as his body rushes to completion. Cumming harder than he’s ever in his life, filling your clinching walls with hot stick seed. Strength evaporated from his arms collapsing into your embrace. Burying his face in your neck, hot moist breath fanning out over your skin. Small after shocks roll through both your bodies garnering whimpers and moans from both of you.

Time, unsure of how much passes while you card fingers through his sweat slicked hair. Enjoying this moment, basking in the after glow of your love making while praying it’s not the end.

“Don’t leave,” words whispered into your skin so low there barely caught. Wondering if you’ve heard things your fingers pause watching on stuttering breath as Javier raises his head to stare into your eyes. Wondering if you meant what you said or just caught up in the pleasurable sex and let it out. It’s on the tip of his tongue to ask when you beat him to the punch.

“I… I…” words lost in the jumble of your mind unsure what to say. Fearful your passionate declaration went unheard or worse ignored.

Cupping your cheek surprised to find tears tracking down your cheek, “Don’t leave me Y/N please.”

Searching his bright russet eyes confused till you see what he’s really saying. Realization blooming across your mind your own hand coming up to embrace his cheek. Thumb swiping over the apple, “I’ll speak to Noonan.” Bringing his mouth down to yours for a soft sweet kiss.

“Do you really love me?” Foreheads resting together breath held, his eyes closed tightly fearing the answer.

Shocked he’s asking. Remembering the times you tried to get him to talk about his feelings becoming shut down pushing the conversation away or distracting you with kisses and sex. With the lengthening silence Javier dares to open his eyes catching the soft expression in yours that cracks his frozen heart.

“I wouldn’t say those words if I didn’t mean them Javi you know that,” continuing to brush your fingers over his stubbled jaw. Up into his soft sweaty hair to gently scratch his scalp knowing how much he enjoys when you do. Rewarded with a low purr from the back of his throat. “What happened today baby?”

Fear keeps him quiet for a moment till, “I almost killed a kid.” Lowering his stare to map your skin with his eyes adding the marks he left behind to his memory. Fear returning now that you’ve heard how much of a monster he’s turning into.

“Did you shoot?” There’s no accusations or incrimination, voice softly seeking a way to help sooth the demons you saw when he first arrived.

Carefully pulling from your warm depths and embrace to sit on the edge of the couch face buried in his hands. Missing the whimper at loosing his touch. You grab for the blanket draped over the back to cover yourself in self consciousness. Moving carefully to sit up and lean against his shoulder. Fingers carding through his hair slowly while placing the other around his waist. Waiting till he’s ready to start speaking not wanting to push.

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

Yes I need her in the daytime

Yes I need her in the night

Yes I want to throw my arms around her

Kiss her hug her kiss her hug her tight

Welcoming warmth enveloping his body that cleaves into you. Baritone rough with emotions, “No I couldn’t pull the tigger, didn’t want to shoot some kid who’s stupidly following the orders of a man who doesn’t care about him.”

“Listen to me Javi you’re not Escobar you’ll never have that narcissistic attitude.” Turning his face to look at you, brushing the stubble with your fingertips. “Yes you’ve done some questionable things for good reasons to take down this asshole who would gladly see all of Columbia burn just to get and keep what he wants.” Leaning in to brush your nose against his, “I couldn’t love a man who killed people for kicks Javier. That’s not what you do. You save people, protect them as best you can.”

Unworthiness filtering through his thoughts never expecting to find someone who loved him faults and all. Intertwining his fingers with the hand previously on his cheek bring the back to his lips to place a kiss. “I don’t deserve you hermosa,” swallowing harshly letting your hand go to stand. Unconcerned with his nakedness Javier stretches popping his back then looking down at you.

Worry etched in those beloved eyes that stare unblinkingly at the spot he just vacated. “Leaving now?” Biting off the words tears clouding your vision mistaking his declaration as rejection pulling the blanket tighter around your plush body.

Forefinger and thumb pinching the end of your soft chin raising your gaze to meet his, “Why would I leave when everything I want and love rests with you.”

“Javier?” Voice wobbling with unshed tears.

Pulling the blanket from your body taking in the curves and dips, the softness he’s itching to get his hands back on. But right now Javier brings the nearest hand to his lips, brushing the knuckles with his mouth mustache tickling your skin. Keeping your eyes locked as he tugs you up into his arms. “I’m serious Y/N I don’t deserve you but without you I’m a shell of a man,” bringing his free hand up to cup your cheek deep russet eyes burning with love staring into yours.

“What are you saying?” Fear coating the words, afraid it’s all a dream and you’ll wake without Javier beside you.

Drawing your mouth closer, strong arm wrapping around your thick waist, “I’m saying I love you Y/N and if you’ll have me I’m yours till you kick me out for driving you crazy.”

“You already do that Javi,” watery giggles escaping your lips that brush his twice. Reaching up to card fingers through the soft strands at the back of his head tugging just a little harder than normal. “Say it again.”

Grunting at the tugs sliding a hand down to cup a generous bare ass cheek to give a squeeze. “Drive you crazy.”

Just barely holding in the squeak, “No,” eyes rolling at his cheek. “You know what I mean Javier Peña.”

“I do,” slotting his mouth against yours stealing the breath from your lungs as he kisses you with a passion never felt before. Barely breaking to mumble those three simple words into your lips, “I love you.” Getting lost in your kiss while silently vowing to never let you go or break your heart.

And when I'm returning from so far away

She gives me some sweet lovin' brighten up my day

Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole

Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul

#Request #Sequel to Heel's #Javier Peña x Plus Size Female Reader #Javier Peña x Plus Size Fem! Reader #Javier Peña x Plus Size F!Reader #Female Reader #Smut

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welcometohomeworld · 2 years ago

Photo

Practising Abyss Connie’s robotic arms using a screen caption from the show”

BONUS, Connie x Steven!!:

#steven universe #steven unvierse au #su fanart #Abyss Au #AbyssConnie #steven universe fanart #SU #SU Au #connie #steven universe connie #horror #cosmic horror

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ithebookhoarder · 4 years ago

Note

Can I get 83 off the angst list with Javier??? It's: Stay there I'm coming to get you

100 ways to say ily Prompt 83: “Stay there. I’m coming to get you” (Javier Peña x F!Reader)

A/N: Ooo, right in the angst. Let’s get to it! I also assume you meant this prompt list rather than the angst one as that’s only up to 20 ;) Don’t worry. I got you tho! I hope you like it x Apologies for my terrible attempts at Spanish, so let me know if I got any of it wrong.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, blood, references to death (let me know if I missed anything)

Masterlist:

-------

“Javi?”

“Y/N?”

The sound of his voice was soft as you held the phone to your ear. You could hear the soft echo of music playing in the background telling you he was definitely at home.

Why wouldn’t he be, given the hour? It was the morning. 3 am to be precise. He should have been asleep. You should have been asleep, but no, you’d had to chase this lead alone. Like an idiot. A strong willed idiot who should have known better.

But no. The idea of being able to catch one of Escobar’s top employees had been too tempting an opportunity to miss despite the fact the ambassador had said otherwise. In fact, he’d said fuck no, telling all of you to wait it out and get another source to confirm it.

Apparently a friend of one of Javi’s ex informants wasn’t what they called reliable... even though she had direct access to the people supposed to be gathering tonight at the club you’d been staking out.

Two hours you’d watched from your car, having snuck out to do so. If Javier and Steve had wanted to behave for once, then that was their call. They could stay and fill out paperwork to their hearts content.

You didn’t need them for what was supposed to be a routine stake out and observation mission.

Or so you’d thought.

The fact you’d been made by one of the gang about thirty minutes after you’d entered the club had put a pretty big dampener on your plan. You hadn’t noticed as they’d arrived, recognising you after you’d almost caught them at a raid only days ago.

The sicario had slipped away, managing to leap across one of the roofs as you’d chased them across. Had Steve not grabbed your arm and told you it was too dangerous a jump to risk, you’d have followed.

But here he was, back and ready for payback... and he’d been quick to point you out to the others surrounding him.

You knew it had been risky to be here and unfortunately, you were proved horrifically right. The fact you’d got away was a minor miracle, even if you were now bleeding. Badly.

Damn bullet had missed but the graze was agonising, causing you to wince as you clutched at your side, trying to stem the bleeding as best you could.

“Javi... I messed up.”

“Y/N, hermosa. What is it? What’s wrong? Where are you?”

His questions were relentless, firing one after the other as he detected the fear in your voice. The pain and regret too.

“I’m ... I’m in an alley... by Fiebre... I’m sorry...”

“No, no. Don’t be sorry. It’s ok,” Javi soothed, panic underlying each word. You could hear him clattering about, most likely grabbing his keys and rushing out of the apartment next to yours. He didn’t need to ask to know what you were doing or why you were there. He knew you too well. He also knew you wouldn’t be calling like this if you weren’t in trouble. Trouble serious enough he had to get to you. Fast. “I’m on my way. Just stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

A tear rolled down your cheek as the air suddenly felt a lot colder. Like Javi had just turned on the stupid faulty AC unit in your apartment, like he always did when it got late and he was staying over to look over material or keeping you company.

God. What you’d have given to have him there to hold you right then. To wrap his familiar leather jacket around you like he always did when you forgot a jacket of your own, still forgetting that the hot days often fell into cooler nights.

You longed for its touch, its scent, its comfort as you stared at the sky and prayed you lived long enough to regret this.

“Fuck.” Your car was just down the street. You were so close but you didn’t know if you had the strength to make it there. “Javi... I’m bleeding... the bullet... it hit my side... it won’t stop.”

“Y/N, baby. Listen to me. We’re coming. Steve and I. It’s gonna be ok. Just keep talking to me, ok? Put pressure on it and don’t fall asleep. You hear me?”

“Javi-“

“I’m fucking serious, hermosa. You hear me? You better keep your damn eyes open long enough so I can look at them when we get there, and you make some stupid wise crack about all this.”

A car door slammed. Voices rang out over the line. You could hear an engine start.

“Javi... I love you... I really do...”

“Y/N? Y/N?”

His voice sounded desperate, terrified even, as you faded away, failing to reply. You simply felt the edges of your vision beginning to dim and the inevitable pull of sleep tugging you toward an abyss you knew there would be no coming back from.

You couldn’t fight it any longer.

A single tear trickled down your cheek and you felt the phone drop from your hand onto the cold concrete beneath you.

“I’m sorry.”

———

“-y tienes suerte de que te quiera mucho. Odio los hospitales. este lugar es jodidamente horrible. No puedo dejarte aquí solo. no cuando te vas a despertar en cualquier momento. ¿Me escuchas? Tú vas a-“

The voices were coming in waves, washing over you and disappearing just as quickly.

It was hard to try and hold on to, even if you wanted to. This voice in particular was soft and tempting, familiar even... Coaxing you in over and over every time you slipped back into the darkness that was so warm and soft.

You’d always been a deep sleeper, slamming your alarm harder than necessary whenever it tried to wake you.

Now was the same... even if you knew it shouldn’t be. Even if you felt odd, like you were supposed to be somewhere and you’d forgotten...

But where?

“She should have woken by now-“

“Javi, calm down. She’s gonna be fine. The doctor said so. She just needs to rest. Have a little faith in her. She’s tough. She’ll pull through this.”

“But if she doesn’t ... Steve, I can’t...”

“Hey. Look at me, Peña. It’s gonna be alright. Now come on. Connie said she’d bring some clothes for you...”

There they were. The voices again.

Somehow, you knew that they were trying to pull you back to wherever you were supposed to be.

To the aching you felt. To the mechanical beeping you could hear. To the painfully bright lights hovering overhead.

To the weight and warmth of someone’s hand holding yours.

To the familiar face pressed against the bed as he slept, holding you hand tightly as if scared to let you go.

“Javi?” you croaked.

Like that, he was awake.

You worried he’d have whiplash, he sat up so fast, eyes wide in disbelief as he realised you were awake. “Y/N? Oh, thank God!”

“Y/N?”

“Steve?” you rasped, noticing your other partner as he leapt out of his chair in the corner of the room. The relief was clear as he smiled and hurried to the door.

“Thank god. I’m gonna grab a nurse.”

“Ok.” You smiled and turned to Javier who was still holding your hand tight, watching you with bloodshot eyes. “What... how long was I-?”

“Three days,” he whispered. “You really scared me there for a second, hermosa. You... you lost so much blood and they weren’t sure you were gonna make it.”

“I’m sorry.”

The sight of tears in his eyes was more painful than the bullet hole that was currently sending white hot agony shooting through your side. You’d never seen Javi so torn up before. Never. The worst was when he’d sit silently and smoke for hours without even moving.

As much as you hated that, you’d take that any day over this. Knowing you were the cause.

“No. Don’t be,” he dismissed swiftly. “I mean yeah, I wanna shoot you myself for running off and pulling a dumb fucking stunt like that but I get it... I really do. I’d have done the same thing. Hell, I have done the same thing. I just wish you’d asked me to come. Or even Murphy. We would have.”

“The ambassador had his eye on you after the raid this week,” you protested weakly, wincing at the pain in your side as you tried to sit up. “I couldn’t risk you or Murphy or your jobs like that.”

“Fuck our jobs.”

“Javi -“

“No, hermosa. Listen. I mean this. You come first, understood? Always,” Javi snarled, kissing the back of your hand. “I love you and I mean that. Life isn’t worth it without you. This job means shit all without you. You come first? Ok. Always. Seeing you lying there with all the blood on you... it made me realise a few things and this is one of them. I don’t want a life or a future without you in it.”

You couldn’t help it as the tears began to flow again, your heart swelling with love for the man in front of you. You couldn’t help but reach out and brush your fingers through his hair as you’d done so many nights before.

“I love you too, Javier Peña.”

“Good. Remember that when Steve gets back and starts ripping into your ass,” Javier teased, lightening up now that your were awake and talking again. “I won’t be able to save you then, carino. Sorry. Sicarios are one thing, but Murphy? He’s almost as terrifying as Connie.”

Oh fuck. You’d forgotten about Connie. Oh she was gonna kill you. Big time.

That woman was the biggest mother hen you’d met in your entire life. She’d also probably have your ass on house arrest for the rest of your life after this stunt.

“Shit,” you whined, dropping back against the pillows. “It was good while it lasted.”

“And good thing we get to do it all again another time,” he hummed. “Just ... not for a while, ok? Not until you’re on your feet.”

“You mean, not until Connie says so?”

Javi didn’t even flinch as he nodded, deadly serious. “Yep. 100 percent.”

------

Translation: “and you are lucky i love you so much. i hate hospitals. this place is fucking horrid. i cant leave you here alone. not when you are going to wake up any minute now. you hear me? you are going to-”

#ithebookhoarder #javier peña x reader #javier peña #javier pena #javier peña x you #javier pena x you #narcos x reader #narcos imagine #narcos fanfic #narcos headcanons #steve murphy #connie murphy #pedro pascal #requests #answered #prompts

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aserethstorm · 4 years ago

Text

Ever After's 🦢

Pieck Finger x Jean Kirstein

Also on Ao3!

__________________

Will there be a future after the war?

Whether it brings them to the peace they've yearned for or to even more battles they need to fight. Two wayward souls decided to navigate it together, into this brand new world born from the rumbling.

——————————

It’s a beautiful afternoon, the sun’s shining not too brightly and the sky is a clear blue.

"A perfect time to tend to the garden?" Jean suggests as he lifts the large shovel over his shoulder. Pieck hums, putting on her gardening gloves, already picturing the stubborn weeds awaiting her.

Pieck’s father; Mister Finger greets them as the two exits the opening of their home. Seated on the rocking chair of their porch with a cup of hot coffee and a crisp newspaper at his disposal. Pieck kisses his cheek and Jean tells him where they're heading. The man nods his features softening.

Ever since Pieck broke off her curse: thanks to the help of a certain bespectacled commander and marrying her comrade in war. The once miserable man began to smile, to weave jokes into his conversations. He finally showed Pieck the other side of him that he thought to have died with his wife all those years ago.

He didn’t even complain! Not once when Pieck told him they were moving to the 'damned island of the devils'. Only asking that his humble abode be right next to his daughter so that he can visit often.

“Your father is in high spirits today” Jean comments holding the gate for her to enter. Pieck chuckles both at her husband's words and the sight in front of her. “He’s always in high spirits nowadays Jean...and I’m so thankful he is” she sighs before pointing to Jean where he needed to begin. She bends down, working the knots on the soil.

Duties were still chasing after them like the shadows that haunted them behind. But somehow the two manage to find light in between. Of course, being needed didn’t help as it dwindles the state of their usually empty home.

It takes them an hour and a half before they're halfway done. Their garden is a little bit better than it once before. Jean stabs his shovel on the ground, leaning on it...he wipes the sweat that gathers in his brow. Jean exhales loudly, pulling out the shovel he calls out to his wife. “Hey, we might be able to grow potatoes here too.”

He just realizes upon uttering the last word in his sentence that the memories come rushing back. Memories of a familiar food maniac and their once shared bond. It doesn’t go unnoticed to Pieck as she watches him carefully, her expression solemn at the sight. “That’s nice, the more the merrier.” Jean shakes his head, continuing the task at hand. Though from the way his movements hardened and his jaw clench. He labored the task, troubled.

Pieck grabs the watering can, dampening the now weed-less soil “I wonder how Gabi and Falco are doing...” she absentmindedly asks as she moves on to the next row. This time large plots with living vegetable plants growing in them. Jean grunts lifting the dirt “they're probably attending a school like what normal children are supposed to do.”

He doesn’t notice the long silence that follows. Too focused on the task at hand that he barely hears her utter the next words carefully. He halts, the shovel falling limply to his side, fingers barely clutching the hilt as he turns to her with surprised eyes.

“W-What did you say?”

Pieck looks up to him, smiling like it was just an afterthought. “I’m pregnant,” she spoke albeit slower this time. Purposely drawing out each syllable in the statement. the former cart titan gasps when she finds Jean running to her, lifting her body off the ground as if she didn’t way a thing. She holds on tightly to his shoulders as Jean twirls her around. They both cheer, Jean cheering for both of them since she was too busy laughing at it all.

“Tell me this is a dream!?” He asks eyes bright but slowly being blurred by tears. He remains still with Pieck raised to the air. Her gaze softens as she rubs his cheek, where a single tear rolls. “You're going to become a father Jean,” Pieck confirms, cupping his face in her tiny hands. She says the words as if it was the surest thing in the world, onyx eyes unwavering as she recites the words into his soul.

Jean grins even wider, pulling her close to his lips and into a long-lasting kiss.

________________

“Jean.”

A voice calls and Jean whips around to meet the petite figure approaching him. Wavy black hair flowing softly as she half runs to stand in front of him.

Staring at him with the loveliest abyssal. She smiles and Jean feels his heart tighten. The feeling is neither welcomed nor unwelcome.

“Thanks for having my back, Kirstein.” She nudges, grazing the side of his arm. Jean smiles, silently admiring their height difference. “It’s fine.” He answers.

Only when his gaze turns to the distance, seeing the kids converse with Annie and Reiner that he decides asks “What’s your plan now?”

Pieck pauses for a moment turning her head to her group of warriors. “We’re heading back to Liberio...recover what’s left.” Her voice is soft but it remains firm.

Strong. In an instinct, Jean squeezes her shoulder. Pieck turns to meet his gaze, surprised. “You have us, we're still the alliance after all.” She nods and Jean lets go. The two silently gaze at one another, both pondering on the little act just committed before Connie yells out Jean's name.

________________

They hold hands as they walked back to their home atop the slope. Pieck’s father quickly standing from the porch to welcome them mid-way. As he arrives at their side Pieck shares with him the big news and once again was enraptured in a loving embrace.

Her father smiles, his face now directed towards Jean. The two clasp hands Mr. Finger extending his congratulations to the younger man and they relish a short hug before laughing. They pull Pieck once again between them in that short embrace.

This is getting too much. Pieck thinks but doesn’t at all hate the words. The feeling of so much love between the two men for her was unconditional and she was eternally grateful to have them by her side.

Dinner passes swiftly with the three discussing future arrangements and the way of an announcement to the rest of their friends. Pieck suggests they don’t rush it already imagining the overbearing pampering she’ll be receiving from the lady soldiers she has grown to be acquainted with. Jean smiles at her placing his larger hand above hers, she melts at the sight.

Before they knew it the dishes were cleaned, the table was arranged and Pieck's father was waving them goodbye leaving the couple to their own devices.

After sweeping Pieck plans on finishing her book. Which she hasn’t been able to do in quite a while. The former cart holder hums at the thought, appreciating the tranquil silence that was too soon interrupted by slow jazz.

The music fills her every waking being and she sighs, chuckling at Jean's ridiculousness.

“So is this how it goes...Jean?”

She tilts her head backward meeting his soft loving gaze. Large hands tantalizingly tracing the length of her arms.

Pieck leaves her broom to the side, allowing Jean to sweep her away to the beat. The music is slow and Jean laughs softly when Pieck turns to him, surprised he lead them both back to their bedroom.

The chorus continues and they sway gently to the track that was playing downstairs on the gramophone. Jean holds her hand in his and the other squeezing around her waist. Pieck smiles, she can't help it these days. Allowing her head to rest against his chest as Jean guides her to the steps.

They resume like that for a couple more minutes before Jean gently cups her chin. Making her look up to him once again, accepting her to see the raw undying infatuation and affection the man held for her.

“I love you, Pieck...”

She examines them more and muses the way the burgundy color of his eyes glints at the candlelight before capturing his lips.

Jean was momentarily caught off guard at the action but who wasn’t when it came to Pieck? Instead, he smirks pulling them both to the bed. their lips leaving for a parting second as Pieck situates herself upon his torso. Hands placed on both sides of his head, She cages him.

For a moment they stare at each other, catching their breaths before their tongues collided once again, Pieck delights herself exploring his clothed body with nimble fingers. Making the man below her breathe heavily. The energy around them is burning and Jean makes himself useful by quickly unbuttoning her blouse.

________________

“That was reckless of you Captain Kirshtein.”

Pieck voices, though the tone is not filled with the reprimand and despise Jean was expecting. It was carefree like a trivial thought she tossed at him...just like the way her hands wrapping limply around his neck. Jean huffs pushing up her body further as he continues walking.

It’s the late afternoon and the sun has now begun to set. The two officers have now just departed a global briefing. A meeting compromising the military officials and their plans to do what’s left of humanity outside the island.

“He saw it coming. He knows to never utter those disrespectful towards you...to any of us.”

As Captain, Jean is always there. Always present as he stands side by side with the last two commanders of Paradis’s military and as the former Cart holder Pieck is needed as well. Her knowledge and insight are what are still keeping Marley together along with Reiner. Their duty never ends and Jean thinks he’ll continue fighting until he dies.

You rest when you have already left this world.

The fleeting words of that strange old man he passed by before entering the barracks this morning return and Jean releases a small sigh. Though the battle is over many things have yet to be discussed. This is the price they have to pay...for everything

She lays her head softly on his watching as the sun descends into the horizon. Jean continues looking forward holding her firmly but also careful and gentle.

“Your lucky you’re loved.”

These moments...these precious moments they have together. It began a few years back. Back when the whole world was still scraping the pieces of what’s left.

Official unions are held often and they meet in it all, growing closer. Conversing into the long hours of the night after meetings or military affairs and their bond grew larger than expected. It evolves from there on out...from reassuring words to warm touches. They don’t give meaning to this or maybe it’s just Jean who doesn’t want to give any meaning to this...

too afraid, too scared, too much of a coward. To finally accept this promise of peace and happiness he was deprived of. Who could blame him though? Being a former soldier in the Survey Corps taught this young man to accept that his happiness is fleeting, warm promises meant nothing in the end and you’ll just have to accept the fact that anyone you grow too attached to will leave your side sooner or later.

His thoughts bring him back all those years ago. On that familiar street of that wanted city. The look of emptiness on what’s left of Marco’s face...

“You know what? Let me just take a breather.” Pieck chuckles before carefully plopping off his back and into the earthy ground below. The grass is warm, a little detail Pieck notes to herself as she trails her fingers over its leaves before using them to straighten her skirt.

The two share a solemn silence as they stare at the setting sun. A giant ball fire descending steadily, painting the sky in a cacophony of bright oranges and purples. The beauty of this cruel world never fails to astound Jean. It never fails to leave him gasping for air, just Iike the way he’s holding his breath now.

Looking at her.

Wavy black hair tied in a low ponytail just like the way she tied it back when she was 12. A habit she once told him. The curve of her elegant nose, the paleness of her flawless skin, Tired black pearls that she calls her eyes, trapping the beautiful scenery inside them.

"The world is cruel but it's also very beautiful...Mikasa was the one who said that to me."

"Yeah..."

He continues to stare at her, not caring that the sun has set a decent amount of time before it. He doesn’t care that the stars have now began to appear in the dark blue heaven above and the way she’s now looking at him directly.

“What’s on your mind, Jean?” She asks bopping his nose.

A frightening warrior she is...disguised in such a lovely and beautiful woman.

“You still have to take me back y’know” Pieck jokes, stretching her arms over her head. “That sunset was delightful but I’m afraid I’m going to be late for my curfew.” Marley soldiers visiting the island for business affairs were situated in a residential building in their stay on Paradis and even warriors still need to be disciplined with its time limitations.

She ushers herself to stand only hesitating when Jeans held her hand. Pieck stares at him, watching his emotions shift from a long hesitation to a quick resolve. His burgundy eyes sparkle with hope and Pieck holds her breath.

“Will you marry me?”

He asks softly, eyes shining brighter than any of the brightest stars in the sky. If he asked this of her years back she would have exploited this to her advantage, used him, laughed at him for offering such a thing.

But she got to know him in those years and more. Learning his land, his family, friends, and him. Understanding every shine and crack that immortalized his past, getting to know him and his flaws and perfections. Without realizing she began to enjoy even more of his presence and her heart made room for him there, etched with care and affection that only grew larger and larger...

She’s sure of her answer as she meets his gaze, lovingly.

“Yeah”.

#attack on titan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #jeanpiku #fic #canon compliant #post canon #pieck finger #jean kirschtein #surprise reveal #FLUFF

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