#Boundaries of Perception
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The Quantum in Us
Close your eyes and dig deep. Sink into your depths. Go back to when the world was just an imagination beyond the walls of your house—a time when you were curious, when your innocence simplified the complexities of life. You are sight hovering over a body. Your fingers wiggle, your arms reach out, your hands grasp, your ears hear, and decipher sound and frequencies, associating them with memory.…
#A Body of Questions#A Flicker of Understanding#Abstract Reality#Beneath the Surface#Beyond the Observable#Boundaries of Perception#Consciousness and Perception#Electric Symphony of the Mind#Erwinism#Existential Wonder#Exploring Identity#Feeling vs Knowing#From Atoms to Art#FYP#Human connection#Human Experience in Chemical Form#Inspiration#Intangible Truths#Learning#Life#Lost in Wonder#Love#Meaning Beyond Matter#Memory and Emotion#Molecular Intention#Molecular Intuition#Motivation#Neuroscience and Emotion#Patterns in the Chaos#Philosophy of Existence
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Wistful winter Loop. They’re thinking about old memories, memories yet to be made, worlds you can never return to, the uncertainty of the future, and how that’s both a curse and an unimaginable blessing. They’re also having a cozy, slightly dissociated moment when you stare at the falling snow and the world almost fades back a little bit, and you’re not sure what’s real, but in a good way.
#I’m experimenting with new styles and concepts and pushing my boundaries#I finally hit that ‘art skill vs art perception’ vallley and now everything i make looks like shit to me#so I’m trying to make different kinds of shit#isat#isat loop#in stars and time#isat fanart#art#my art
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thinking about how cut off tko is from forming even a vaguely normal relationship with people
#insane 50000 page essay in tags warning.#in his first appearence he only reacts violently when rad and enid overstep his boundaries#(in defense of rad and enid and everyone else they did not know what was going on and were doing their best)#tko reacts not ideally. and because he has the ability to he wrecks everything -> gives the impression that this kid is hecking evil#dont give a nuke to a kid with anger issues..#and it leads to him getting totally isolated- which again fair. and completely justified in the pov of other people#but it just results in him getting alienated more with no way to learn how to regulate his emotions#and people only see him when he's mad as hell and wreaking havoc which. Bad impression every time.#like how do you fix this#i think tko wouldve probably been treated better had he not been stupidly op#ALSOOO. I HATE THAT LFTTE JUST. FUNCTIONALLY CEMENTED EVERYONE'S PERCEPTION OF TKO AS 'EVIL MANIAC WHO KILLED EVERYONE'#WITH NO CHANCE FOR HIM TO EVER CHANGE THAT BECAUSE. MKO#like. who is left to apologise?? and who do you forgive ???#of course when mko says anything (doubtful. i bet it was a traumatic experience for him) theyll say “oh its fine that was tko's fault”#how do you. Explain. when all they know about tko is that he's evil. would you even want to explain#i am way too invested in the side character that was functionally not meant to be more than the main character's plot development device#cries and explodes into a pile of very sad confetti#incoherent ramblings#everyone else in the ok ko universe gets the most satisfying and well-written endings ever and then there's my favorite character
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Guys Im not a big account with a lot of experience, don't treat me as such...
#sigh#im not consistent#i dont have many followers#i have a few people that engage with my content and im very happy about that!#im not complaining about it at all#just peoples perception of me seems weird#i dont have a lot of followers#and even if its more than some other more deserving people its probably mostly bots#im saying this because like one or 2 of my stuff got some attantion and thats it#this somehow gives people the ok to go “oh you are the bigger person so this other person gets a pass doing something weird while you#are supposed to shut your mouth and not talk about them because if you do then you are the bad person for putting up a boundary"#it annoys me#i dont even flaunt how many followers i have#what gives the people the idea that im a famous person???#im just venting#might delete later#dont mind me just proccessing shit that happened really late
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thought experiment. you are out in public somewhere (shopping, walking down a street or something) and see dan and phil doing some ordinary but obviously coupley pda like holding hands or kiss on the cheek. you don't get the chance to talk to them.
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ive been a vaguely transmasc version of genderqueer for almost four years now but after employing a few changes to what i can control about the way people refer to me as well as certain stuff in the way i think about myself then living with it for a while, i think i like the idea of agenderism
#it's hard to explain‚ like when if gender ever not#but i think ive completely sapped the idea of gender out of everything for me generally#at my last psychiatrist appointment‚ i referenced the idea that i don't meet a lot of standards of femininity across the board socially#and she said‚ “i would've never guessed that‚” and sort of gestured to what i was wearing (i posted a photo a few days ago) and i came home#and realised that yeah it's an objectively feminine presentation from a binary pov but i didn't think of it as feminine#and i get the same way when i dress more 'masculinely' too. as in‚ i'll get comments about being a lesbian or whatever#(indicative that the person perceiving you is seeing you as crossing the line Too Much) and i'd have never thought of it that way lol#it's like yeah i do purposely attempt to be perceived as more masculine sometimes but mostly i just don't care!#im not a woman‚ im not a man‚ im not nonbinary‚ and i don't think of myself as crossing boundaries specifically!#it's so hard to get across what i'm thinking. but one of my favourite tiktokers is called 'special jenny :D'#and she's autistic. whenever she's asked about how she'd like to be referred to it's usually 'just jenny!' and it's literally exactly that!#i think the way she presents. as like obviously presenting one way but you can tell they're sno intent to be#indicative of Anything at all is exactly what i identity with too#and like this alone is intentionally subversion yes and i like that as a purposeful part of my identity but i mean#that the natural feeling of Being isn't specifically to do so. kind like how sam winchester going to college was a genuine#and earnest want of his but it became an act of rebellion due to its perception and what it awarded him over time#he/they in a bottle...#&
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trained ourself into becoming more compassionate and kind too well and now our default is to immediately to go into the fawn response and let people walk all over us 😔
#as a kid we struggled a lot with empathy and honestly i think we still do? it does not come easy#sometimes we say shit that's totally out of pocket and dont even realize that its not okay#that's a part of why we're considered level 2/msn. not an excuse but an explanation#we spend a lot of time really trying to understand other's perspectives but most of the time it makes us TOO forgiving bc#we tend to doubt our perception and want to see the good in people#it can be really hard bc we cant really read people's facial expressions or body language at all#we're pretty expressive body and facial language wise apparently but when it comes to others?#no yeah its difficult#but we are also very intuitive we have found#a lot of times we can Sense that an interaction is going Badly but we dont automatically recognize why we're uncomfortable / scared#and we go on overdrive when we're uncomfortable and get really hyperactive and intense or just shut down entirely#our mom and brother are the same way - they have a lot of trouble understanding / recognizing boundaries#the issue with our mom is that she doesn't rly put work into doing anything about it#and baby brother also has an intellectual / cognitive disability so that makes things extra hard for him#but yeah anyways rambling!#trying really hard to be more firm and honest about our reality esp irl#we mask pretty heavily#especially when our symptoms are bad or we are out of it#trying to learn that we're not always going to face punishment for existing#honestly the people here have been pretty kind for the most part? very strange to see lol
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Why can't people just be fucking normal about Sleep Token? For critics, they're either the worst band ever or the most groundbreaking band since like Tool. And the fans... Like, there's old ass adult women who are married with children projecting their sexual fantasies on the guys and yelling cringy shit at them in public, there's puritanical weirdos who treat them like asexual children, there's absolute creeps trying to unmask them and contact their friends and families. It's a complete shit show. Just be fucking normal? The music is good, the performances are cool, yes they're attractive and sometimes sexy and acknowledging that is not weird or abusive. Stalking them, unmasking them, yelling gross shit at them or making them read sexually explicit signs at shows... Now, that's fucking abusive and deranged. Just be normal. They're just performers. They're just people.
#sleep token#social media has fucked with people's perception of boundaries#there's fan spaces for a reason#if you wanna write a whole ass paragraph about how you want to fuck vessel ok do it but dont assume thats something he would want to read
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i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.
#THERES SO MANY WEIRD RULES#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SOMEONE WALKS LIKE HUH????? WHY????????????#can someone fucking explain the dude head nod thing to me why do we do that. whats that about. ive never seen anyone do that irl before#is that an american thing or do i just hang around too many afab people#i am learning the intricacies of cis people gender rules and i am. what fucking planet have i been on the last 17 years like what is this#was there some like. rulebook they handed out at somepoint they forgot to give to me or something#“best way to learn is to observe the men around you” OBSERVE WHAT. YOU PEOPLE PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT????#bruh i can barely make eye contact w people...#my ass has never intentionally copied someones mannerisms ever.#i do it subconsciously. but doing it actively feels weird and wrong and like im breaking someones boundaries#“men dont smile at people.” well they should.#ive decided cishet men are the most boring people on the planet#“dont move with your hands” YOURE BREAKING MY POOR THEATER KID HEART#i need to meet more gay men irl to absorb the vibe of cause i only know like two. not counting myself#i want people to look at me and go. ah yes. fruit.#at this point im just going to accept being misgendered for the rest of eternity. id rather die than be boring in the way cishet men are#my flavor of being trans is so influenced by my autism cause my perception of genders is completely off from what everyone else is doing#im like. yeah i want to be a man. and then i look at what the majority of men are actually like and its like. wait no. not like that#shoutout to flamboyant gay men where would i be without them#i think the thing that bothers me the most is that like#in my mind peoples genders are just. the way they express themselves.#its not like. this super big complex deal like how everyone else treats it. if that makes sense? like.#regular people have so many rules for what counts as a man or what counts as a woman or what counts as neither and its like???#you can do what you want???? why do we care????#and ive been doing this since i was little. on account of the autism#i just. dont get why its such a big deal to people.#i cant wrap my head around it at all#not nonbinary not a girl not aegender not a man but a secret fourth thing#(man but i do it my way instead of everyone elses way)#unfortunately doing it my way just. leads to the misgendering dimension. for some reason
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yellowjackets soccer team is just "hey what if we put a bunch of people with sexual hang-ups and/or trauma in one room and their personal issues are just the right ones to make the issues of everyone around them worse"
#lottie terrible boundaries… travnat everything… jackie things… misty terrible boundaries… shauna has a lot going on too...#just people who are not well equipped to sort through their own warped perceptions and end up harming the others around them#even if they also care very deeply about those people#lu rambles
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I love ganqing bc it's just two normal, mature women. Even if Ganyu is more withdrawn, Keqing wouldn't be able to stand the hesitation and inaction for too long, so if she wants to confess she's just gonna do it. No stupid, endless, mind games and bullshit <3
Dense Keqing is also good i think, bc Ganyu wouldn't be that smug annoying asshole who berates the other for "being dense and not asking them out" while putting no effort into it themselves, she'd just find it endearing and try to communicate better until it works. She's patient. And it's also interesting to think abt Ganyu taking a leaf out of Keqing's book, and finding the boldness to just confess herself despite her quiet, withdrawn nature. If clear and straightforward is what Keqing likes best, then Ganyu could perhaps do it like that for her
#ganqing#ganyu#keqing#genshin impact#gq thoughts on the brain bc they're the best and i love them immensely and they're so interesting to me and aaaaughghghh [affectionate]#the ''dense character'' in ships can be such a hit or miss trope. u can prolly tell what i consider a big miss after this post lol#i like when it's abt them both orbiting each other while having feelings and not knowing how to meet in the middle just yet lol#dense character often isn't stupid. they just care abt the other person and their boundaries. and they need clearer communication#which i think would fit keqing rlly well considering her personality#i could talk more abt this and how tired i am of ppl's perception and treatment of such characters but maybe another time lol
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picturing finale heaven like the beldam’s pink palace world in coraline
#just endless white nothingness#and the boundaries of the ‘world’#curated to each individual perception#all illusion#in reality there is nothing#how do you walk away from some place and come right back#walk around the world#<yaaaay
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AND ANOTHER THING [waiting for stuff to load, left alone to think about Characters™️] I don’t think this is a hot take or nothin bc I think I’ve seen other people and posts say this same thing and maybe I’ve also already said it and forgotten lol. Or maybe I just think about it a lot idr. But like [puts my chin in my hands] ships right. I feel like there’s so much overlap w/ friendship and romantic shipping. Or like. To me there is!!!! to the point of like. Knowing when to or to not “tag the ship” is sometimes stressful lol bc sometimes the situation is literally just “characters r hanging out. Characters r standing in frame together” and it’s not inherently romantic shippy so ppl that don’t vibe with the ship could appreciate it just as it is. But then people that do like the ship would probably want to see it. Bc they like seeing The Characters in situations together. That’s how I feel at least. But there aren’t really many ways to tag like “I’m lookin for these guys hanging out but it doesn’t have to be romantic” I mean ao3 has the & tagging thing so that’s cool. But what about the tumblr….
And also!!!!!!!! Sometimes stuff gets decisive when you’re looking at canon scenes. Like a scene with The Characters doing fuckin what ever. And shippers will see it and be like “evidence of my ship” and non ship enjoyers will be like “this is not evidence of ship this can be perfectly platonic” and I do think they can both be right (I mean i guess it depends lol but the vague situations in my brain are multi functional) like. I do fear sometimes ppl forget art can have multiple valid interpretations 🤔 like maybe the situation scene wasn’t inherently romantic but it did demonstrate a bonding moment or moment of care, which is supplemental to the ship. But it also doesn’t have to be bc platonic love and care is real and a beautiful thing as well. Maybe it’s both. Maybe it’s neither. What ever man. Do I sound like a centralist about shipping HAHDBFNFBN
I don’t know man sometimes I just see two characters and I like the vibe they have together and I wanna see more of them and I don’t really care if it’s romantic or not but the easiest way to find Characters Together is ship tag…. I think interpreting relationships in many flavors can be fun….
#I’m not trying to make a point I’m truly just babbling my thoughts as they appear in my head while I wait for this THING#I like to be loose and fluid with moooost ships like I’m into multishipping but also multi interpretations of things and relationships#and also headcanons in general like I don’t really often have hard and strict headcanons#there r two twst characters that I feel like#you could read their behavior as bi. or gay. or aro. depending on how u look at it#or straight * I forgor HAHAHSHFHFN#but still. I think you could make a case for any of them even when looking at the same evidence#and I don’t think having different headcanons or what ever is like. necessarily ignoring or downplaying another yknow??#I mean i guess it can vary in situations but#sometimes I feel like a circumstance is cause or broad enough that it’s like#who give a shit of ppl in the fandom r thinking about xyz slightly differently lol#I talk like I have no boundaries or stronger opinions when#I do have a Few things that make me go Ew I Am Distressed Nad Need To Block About It#but imo those are extreme cases. usually idc.#it’s fun to see people’s different perceptions of characters and how they interact w/others#some ppl disregard shipping as shallow and sure I guess it can be but I feel like it can be and often is more than that#looking at a character and their behaviors and circumstances and how that applies in the presence of another#and seeing how other ppl take that same info and apply it differently is cool. it’s FUN! open ur mind…..#ok what ever this has been cereal’s ramble in ten billion different directions#I’m going to do something else now 🚶#[rambles incoherently with no clear point or structure for several minutes] why doesn’t anyone understand me#HAHSHFBFBGH ok bye lol
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tagged by @waywardted!
shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and post the first ten songs, then tag some friends to do the same!
Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish
Garden of Eden by Lady Gaga
Disease by Lady Gaga
Sanity (Re: Jack Antanoff) by Paramore
Nissan Altima by Doechii
Say Yes by Elliot Smith
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel
To Be Alone With You by Sufjan Stevens
Abracadabra by Lady Gaga
Lump Sum by Bon Iver
I'm not tagging anyone, but if you want to do this, consider this me tagging you!
#apart from the lack of The Mountain Goats#this tracks with my perception of my own listening habits#I like relatively mainstream but preferably queer contemporary pop that pushes boundaries and expresses aggression or distress#I listen to the exact same folk and indie music I liked when I was sixteen#tag meme
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i wonder how most of the things western side of the fandom think as "gay" is mostly a cultural difference thing rather than them actually being correct...
#not like asian people can't be gay lol but like....#how much of it is just people unable to process that different countries have different perception of boundaries#tmi tag
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Maybe I have issues for not trusting people but it's better to be suspicious than be an idiot.
#trust#suspicion#caution#selfawareness#boundaries#wisdom#protection#discretion#selfcare#perception#experience#judgment#introspection#awareness#security#relationships#confidence#discernment#growth#precaution
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