#Build to survive and have some good burst damage for final boss
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Holy shit. I actually did it. I solo cleared Spire of the Watcher.


Took me an hour and a half this time after probably 2-3 hours a couple weeks ago. But I did it. I earned a dungeon title.
#destiny 2#spire of the watcher#IMO not that bad to solo#especially on warlock with song of flame#Build to survive and have some good burst damage for final boss
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finally had a good, fun invasion experience in dark souls 2. and then a bonus, kinda okay one!
i kinda fell off the game a few weeks ago (around when Satisfactory 1.0 hit, strangely enough) and haven't been playing it much. Satisfactory is starting to make me want to pull my hair out, though, so i thought, all the hard shit at the end of DS2 will be a welcome, relaxing reprieve! ho ho ho!
so i'm creeping through the Crown of the Sunken King DLC. Shulva, Sanctum City. it's the bit with all the towers you have to raise and lower. I'm Human, so I've been expecting an invasion sooner or later, and i prepare in advance by bringing my #1 surefure PVP secret weapon: Chameleon. The spell that disguises you as a prop of some kind. (My other spells include Great Heavy Soul Arrow, Soul Spear, and Crystal Homing Soulmass (remember that last one! It's a surprise tool that will help us later))
so anyway, i get the alert that an invasion is happening. (it's from a mod that provides anti-hacker protection, and it's set up so that when someone connects suddenly, i get an alert. in this case, a .wav of a cow mooing.) and i think... fuck it, let's have fun. i'm feeling emboldened and i still have a decent amount of resources. so i pop chameleon and wait! form of... big crumbly clay jar. hmm, okay.
it seems painfully obvious to me that this jar does not blend in, so i just park myself right in the middle of an open area. like. just squarely in the road. and i wait for the invader (his name is "Stinky Pete") to just happen by. soon, he does! running up the stairs into view, just over yonder! and now he's running this way! is he going to emote at me? wave? just start attacking? hee hee hee, I'm so excited to find out~!
and he runs right past me. doesn't slow down for a moment. literally clips his leg through my magic jug disguise and keeps going until he disappears into a nearby tower. oh my god. that worked? i don't think he knows this area very well.
do i pursue? do i follow? eh, playing hide and seek doesn't seem like as much fun as playing this straight. so I look around until i see him observing from above, on a perch above my position. makes sense, he went to highground to scout the road below. the one i'm in. so i spin the jug around and around and just run in circles. "look at me! down here! what fun we've had, but you overlooked your quarry here~!" and shit. He waves. I break disguise and wait for him as he runs down.
so he's back and he approaches, and I do the "welcome!" gesture as he draws close. he "welcome!"s back.
okay! duel time. i'm gonna try to kill this dude but i don't think it'll happen!
we play footsies for a bit, during which he grazes me with a twinblade that deals some kind of poison damage... and that's it. barely a bit of my health bar is damaged and, since i'm in Poison Suck Toxic Town, i'm wearing a poison soaking ring anyway, so even his weapon poison doesn't really bother me much. so, okay. that's not too threatening. maybe he has some other trick up his sleeve?
more footsies ensue. i try to blast him with a Soul Spear and he dodges it without issue. okay, let's mix it up, make some space, and get Homing Crystal Soulmass ready, see how that works. alright, those are up, all five shots ready to go, powered up by my 50-int boss-murdering magic build, aaaaand... let's try fencing for a bit, and... oh boy! there go the Soulmasses!
they hit, and knocked that dude down to like 35% of his health. Just absolutely blew his shit wide open. i was pogging.
and then blood was in the water and i got hungry. he dodged a second burst but i kept up the aggression and didn't give him a chance to turn that shit around for a moment. the third HCS blew him up real good. dude went spiralling off into the distance like Team Rocket. i bowed politely, my clothes immaculate.
i have never survived an invasion in these games, i haven't seen a whole lot of them, admittedly, so this was a good feeling. even if the guy seemed incredibly outgunned! i mean, his weapon wasn't doing much for me, he didn't really outmaneuver me (and thereby get any backstabbing opportunities), he took a lot of damage from my spell-and it's very possible he just got unlucky and invaded well above his level. so i'm not under the impression that i outplayed some absolute predator and, therefore, i am now an even bigger, meaner predator. this felt more like a couple of squirrels having a slapfight in a tree or something.
but not only did i get to win, i got to fool someone with the best spell in the game AND have a nice friendly duel afterwards. what a dude! Stinky Pete's the best, I tell you. the man's an absolute ledge.
i went back to my adventuring through the area. two minutes later i botched a fairly easy jump and fell to my death.
the end, that's the story. the following is bonus content:
so now i'm Hollow and probably won't be invaded. probably. i should have protection from that for a little while anyway. i guess it expired, though, since some 20 minutes of bumbling around later (have i mentioned how i really don't like the moving towers in Sanctuary City Shulva?), i get another alert. Moo! here comes an invader! i'm literally in the same area that i was when Stinky Pete invaded, so i think, let's just try it all again.
this time, Chameleon makes me look like an open treasure chest. okay, that doesn't look like it fits AT ALL. so let's just get silly with it. i'll creep up on the invader like this.
and here he comes now! his name is "Ray" and he has a Greatsword of some kind. oh ho ho, here I come, Ray~! the big scary treasure chest is gonna getcha! whatcha gonna do-
well, he attacks, is what he does. so i scoot away for a bit and give him a second chance to either play along or at least stop and wave. he doesn't, he just attacks again.
alright, fuck this. drop the disguise and try to kill him. i beat him around for a bit and heal whenever i want (no bow? no fair duel rules). he eventually runs off and heals up himself, then comes back, and i kill him.
and that was also very satisfying, but not in the way the first one was. it was a sloppy fight that i didn't play very well. the win didn't feel especially earned. but this was like fending off a mangy coyote instead of playfully tussling with a squirrel so i'm at least a little proud.
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For ease of length, throwing the build I solo cleared ST on here. Cleared a 2nd time as well with a few tweaks.
It's probably not very "good" objectively since I haven't done a lot of work with builds outside of "what sounds fun" so I'm still learning (and don't have tons of gear to draw from for stat distributions and such), but here's what I ended up clearing it with, below the cut for length
Class: Warlock
Subclass: Prismatic
Abilities: Song of Flame, Healing Rift, Burst Glide, Arcane Needle, Coldsnap Grenade
Aspects: Bleak Watcher, Hellion
Fragments: Facet of Protection, Ruin, Awakening, Honor. Facet of Courage for the +10 Discipline, and you can fit one more of your choice (didn't realize I had Generosity on, oops--might consider Justice for the +10 Intellect)
Exotic Armor: Necrotic Grip, but considering trying Osmiomancy Gloves, too. First time I had Wings of Sacred Dawn (helped stay out of melee range while shooting the crystal in the final boss). Exotic gear had the extra stat slot unlocked.
Stat distribution focused most heavily on Intellect, Resilience, and Recovery as I found those most helpful to keep alive.
Stat numbers for reference: Mobility 59, Resilience 91, Recovery 70, Discipline 57, Intellect 80, Strength 58.
Armor mods heavily used stat boosts focused on Resilience and Recovery since I didn't have any armor that had high stats in those areas
Head mods: Solar Siphon, Heavy Ammo Finder, (Resilience mod)
Hand mods: Heavy Handed, Firepower (error on my part--meant to HHx2), Fastball (probably swap for harmonicdexterity or higher stat boost mod) (Recovery mod, Super mod)
Chest mods: Arc Resistance x2, Sniper Resistance (Resilience mod)
Legs mods: Better Already, Harmonic Scavenger, Absolution (Recovery mod)
Class mods: Reaper (more helpful in other areas than the final fight), Healthy Finisher, Proximity Ward (saved me so many times in the first boss fight) (Recovery mod)
Weapons:
Primary: Herod-C (Auto-Loading Holster, Headstone, Gun and Run, Backup Mag). Used Taraxippos (Outlaw, Explosive Payload, Classy Contender, Backup Mag) during first boss segment to deal with Vandal shields
Secondary: Sunshot for the final, Graviton Lance for the 1st boss (swapped to Void Siphon for that one)
Power: Avalanche (Auto-Loading Holster, Incandescent, Suros Synergy, Backup Mag)
Largely used Herod-C because it allowed me to quickly charge the Dark bar for Transcendance and due to ALH I could swap between that and Avalance fairly rapidly for a nearly seamless damage stream rather than needing to reload
I can already see a number of ways I'd tweak this in particular, especially if I farm some armor with stats dedicated to Resilience and/or Recovery. Mostly it was just thrown together from what I had on hand, building off what I used for my first clear which involved actively fiddling with it as I went out of desperation to find a way to survive longer lol
#lightbearer blade#destiny 2#I'm having fun dipping into the build side of the game more seriously now so I'll actually look up good builds in the future to study#But it was fun trying to figure out how something worked on the fly with little to no experience in the area you know?
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Marvel Contest of Champions is a popular mobile fighting game that features a wide range of Marvel superheroes and villains. One of the game's most popular classes is the Mystic class, which includes characters with magical abilities and supernatural powers. In this article, we'll look at the 10 best Mystic champions in Marvel Contest of Champions. 10) Elsa Bloodstone Elsa Bloodstone is considered an essential character to have in Marvel Contest of Champions due to her unique abilities and strengths. She is a Skill Champion, which means she has a class bonus against Science Champions, but is weak to Mutant Champions. According to one forum post, Elsa Bloodstone has the highest base crit rating in the game and is massively underrated. She has the ability to evade unblockable attacks and punish, and her evade shot counts as an intercept, so it works on aegis and aspect of war 9) Guillotine Guillotine has a wide variety of attacks, and each one is useful in different situations. Her sword attacks are her most basic and can be used to chip away at opponents or break shields. Her Limbo attacks have a range of effects, including stunning enemies and dealing damage over time. Finally, her Soul Harvest ability will deal massive amounts of damage if you can get it off successfully--but it's not always easy! She has high damage and crowd control, but also has some of the best defensive abilities in the game. Her passive allows her to easily build up AP, while her other passives give her a lot of survivability and utility. With Guillotine's ability to deal high damage with her basic attacks, she is one of the best champions for clearing waves quickly when playing Arena or Campaign missions where you need to clear out enemies quickly before they get too powerful. Her skills are also very good at dealing burst damage and crowd control which makes her great against bosses like Thanos or Proxima Midnight who have high health pools but low mobility (and no counters). 8) Morningstar Morningstar, is a Mystic Champion with unique abilities that make her a valuable addition to any player's roster. In this article, we'll look at why Morningstar is such a valuable champion in Marvel Contest of Champions. To use Morningstar effectively, players should focus on using her sword attacks and her demon-summoning abilities. Her sword attacks deal massive damage, and her demons can be used to control the battlefield and deal area-of-effect damage. Players should also focus on using her Soul Harvest ability to gain extra power and heal themselves and their allies. 7) Mephisto Mephisto is a character who excels at long-range combat. He has high damage and can knock back enemies with his attacks, making him ideal for fighting from a distance. His abilities also allow him to control the battlefield and keep your opponents at bay. Their main strength is his ability to deal massive damage while staying safe from harm. As such, he should be used as an offensive support character who deals large amounts of AOE (area of effect) damage while keeping enemies at bay with his crowd control skills. 6) Magik Magik is a character that requires you to think about your moves before you make them. Her Soulsword and Darkchylde abilities are her most valuable tools, but they also have their drawbacks. The best way to use Magik effectively is to focus on these two skills and use Limbo liberally when it's available. Soulsword is a powerful melee attack that deals damage to enemies and heals you at the same time. It also has an ability called Soul Charge which allows you to charge up your next attack with a full soul gauge (the meter underneath your health bar). 5) Doctor Voodoo Doctor Voodoo is a powerful Mystic Champion and a valuable addition to any team. He's not easy to use, but once you get the hang of him he can be one of your most effective champions If
possible try pairing Doctor Voodoo up with other Mystical Champions such as Scarlet Witch or Magik so she can give him additional buffs through her abilities while simultaneously benefiting herself by gaining extra power thanks her own passives." a skill called Astral Evade that allows him to dodge incoming attacks by teleporting away from danger and leaving behind an illusion of himself which takes damage for him instead of taking damage himself. This makes it harder for enemies to land hits on Doctor Voodoo and gives them something else besides hitting his actual body that they have to aim at (which is important because he doesn't have much health). This ability also works well with Loa's Favor because if an enemy does manage hit one of those illusions instead of the real thing then they'll still take some damage from both skills combined! 4) Dormammu Dormammu's abilities are fairly straightforward. His passive, Dark Dimension, allows him to teleport when he is attacked. This can be very useful in escaping a bad situation or getting closer to your opponent. Dormammu's Mystic Bolts are his standard attack and can be used to chip away at your opponent's health while they're trying to kill you or just keep them at bay while you heal up. Dark Magic is a powerful ability that deals massive damage over time (DoT) and applies a debuff that reduces the enemy's defense by 20%. This means that if you use this move against an enemy with high health, it will deal even more damage than usual because their defense is reduced by 20%. 3) Ghost Rider Ghost Rider is considered a good Mystic champion in Marvel's Contest of Champions due to his massive utility and sustainability. Despite his damage output not being among the best, players can often finish fights at 100% if they use the judgments properly. Additionally, Ghost Rider is often able to fix mistakes made during fights. Ghost Rider is ranked as one of the best 4-star champions due to his abilities, including Evil's Bane, Judgment, and Retribution. 2) Scarlet Witch Scarlet Witch is a must-have addition to any Marvel Contest of Champions player's roster. She has a lot of benefits that make her an excellent choice Fielding a wide variety of moves that can be used in different situations and has several combos that are capable of taking out enemies quickly. Scarlet Witch has some of the most potent offensive spells in the game. Her attacks are fast, have good range, and can be chained together for devastating combos that can take out even high-level opponents. 1) Doctor Strange Doctor Strange's ability to heal is a huge boon to any team. He can keep your team alive and help them recover from damage, which makes him a great support character in any Contest of Champions player's roster. He also has some crowd control abilities that make him an effective support character in Marvel Contest of Champions. His "Lightning Attack" can stun enemies, while his "Cone of Cold" freezes them in place for a short amount of time. These abilities are useful for keeping enemies away from your allies or slowing down their attacks so that they can't do as much damage to you and your teammates.
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Fate and Phantasms #148: Jaguar Warrior
Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the fast and the furryous Jaguar Warrior, the vessel for an anime girl, and to a lesser extent, a god. Taiga is a Totem Warrior Barbarian for some animal instincts, and a Drunken Master Monk to turn her unorthodox fighting style into a force to be reckoned with.
Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!
Next up: Mr. Break Yo Meta
Race and Background
Taiga’s still mostly Human (er, servant), and we’ll use the variant rules, because feats are fun. This gives you +1 Dexterity, +1 Wisdom, Animal Handling proficiency to watch over Quetz’s pets, and the Mobile feat for ten feet of extra movement speed and the ability to ignore attacks of opportunity from creatures you hit.
You’re technically on the same side as Quetz for this one, so that makes you a Goddess Alliance Legionnaire too, giving you proficiency with Athletics and Intimidation.
Ability Scores
You definitely have some force behind your strikes, but you’re also really mobile, so we’ll start with Dexterity being highest. You’re really mobile, but you also have some force behind your strikes, so Strength is next. Your power partially comes from being a jaguar, so your Wisdom should be next. Your Constitution isn’t bad either- anyone who can survive a direct blow from Quetz is tough. Your Charisma isn’t amazing- you’re quick with a joke, but your main audience isn’t a big fan. Finally, dump Intelligence.
Class Levels
1. Monk 1: Starting as a barbarian would give you a lot more HP, but you only get the first Unarmored Defense you come across, and we like basing our AC off of Dexterity and Wisdom more than constitution. Now you can wear your fancy outfits without worrying too much about dying.
While you’re here though you also get Martial Arts, giving you a baseline of 1d4 damage when using monk weapons. You can also use dexterity instead of strength when using monk weapons, and if you attack with your main action you can make an unarmed attack as a bonus action.
You also gain proficiency with Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as Acrobatics and Stealth.
2. Barbarian 1: Barbarian gives us our real meat an potatoes of combat, with a Rage that you can activate as a bonus action for up to one minute, or until the fighting stops. Currently you can rage twice per long rest, but that will change as you level up.
While raging, you get advantage on strength checks and saves, deal extra damage with strength-based attacks, and have resistance to physical damage.
You also get another Unarmored Defense, but it doesn’t stack with the first, so it’s not that important.
3. Barbarian 2: Your Reckless Attacks make you a terror on the battlefield, giving you advantage on your attacks for a turn in exchange for other creatures having advantage against you for the next round.
You also get a Danger Sense, giving you advantage on dexterity saves against things you can see. You’ll really want to avoid that fireball, burnt fur smells terrible, trust me.
4. Barbarian 3: While you get your power from being a Jaguar Warrior you don’t actually turn into a big cat, so Totem Warrior is probably your best option. When you take the subclass, you become a Spirit Seeker, letting you cast Beast Sense and Speak with Animals as rituals. You also gain a Tiger Totem Spirit, adding 10 feet to your long jump distance and 3 feet to your high jump. Cats got ups.
Finally, you get Primal Knowledge as well, giving you proficiency with Nature checks. You are literally an animal, you know a thing or two about animals.
5. Barbarian 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Dexterity for more accurate attacks and a higher AC.
6. Barbarian 5: Fifth level barbarians get an Extra Attack each attack action, letting you attack twice per action or three times with your bonus action. You also get Fast Movement, increasing your movement speed by 10 feet.
7. Monk 2: Going back to monk gives you Ki points equal to your monk level each short rest. You can spend them to attack twice, dodge, disengage, or dash on your bonus action.
You also get Unarmored Movement, increasing your speed by another 10 feet, and growing as you level up.
8. Monk 3: Drunken Masters have surprisingly little to do with actual alcohol, and much more to do with acting drunk, which you do every day. You get proficiency with the Performance skill, as well as a Drunken Technique when you use your Flurry of Blows. Attacking twice with your bonus action now comes with the benefits of disengaging, and your walking speed increases by yet another 10 feet.
You can also Deflect Missiles as a reaction, blocking damage from an arrow or thrown weapon. If you reduce it to zero, you can also spend a ki point to throw it at another creature.
9. Monk 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Strength for stronger rage attacks. You can also Slow Fall as a reaction, reducing falling damage thanks to landing on your feet.
You can also spend ki as an action for Quickened Healing for a bit of spirit origin correction.
10. Barbarian 6: Going back into barbarian gives you the Aspect of the Beast, though unfortunately Tiger’s kind of useless to us at this point. Grab Wolf instead for fast paced tracking and normal paced stealthing while traveling.
11. Barbarian 7: Seventh level barbarians get a Feral Instinct, giving you advantage on initiative rolls. You also can ignore being surprised if you rage at the start of combat. If you’re going to overreact in a comedic fashion, it’s best not to overstay your welcome.
You also gain an Instinctive Pounce, letting you move up to half your speed when you enter a rage. Your base speed is currently 60 feet, so that’s not a small jump.
12. Barbarian 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Strength so your rage attacks can match your non-rage attacks, and to further increase the power of your ups.
13. Barbarian 9: Ninth level barbs get a Brutal Critical, giving you an extra die of damage when you deal a critical hit to a creature. You’ve got four attacks per turn with advantage, it’ll happen at some point.
14. Monk 5: Fifth level monks get an extra attack you can’t use, but they also get a Stunning Strike by spending a ki point to force a constitution save (dc 8+wis mod +proficiency) on a creature they’ve hit. On a failure, that creature is then stunned for a round, giving you free advantage against them without having to be reckless about it.
You can also spend ki points on your Focused Aim to try and turn a missed attack into a hit, with each ki point spent adding 2 to the attack roll.
15. Monk 6: Our last round of monk gives you Ki-Empowered Strikes, making your unarmed attacks magical for overcoming resistances. Like half the people you fight in Babylonia are some kind of god, that’ll be useful. You also gain a Tipsy Sway, letting you stand up from being knocked prone for only 5′ of movement and spend ki to redirect attacks that miss you, sending them towards another nearby creature instead as a reaction.
16. Barbarian 10: Tenth level totbars are Spirit Walkers, letting you Commune with Nature as a ritual, giving you near info about the area around you through your Nagual.
You also get another round of Primal Knowledge for Survival proficiency.
17. Barbarian 11: Your Relentless Rage lets you make a DC 10 constitution save when you drop to 0 hp to try and stick around at 1 hp again. Each time you succeed, the DC goes up by 5. After a long rest, the DC resets. Do you want guts? Cus this is how you get guts.
18. Barbarian 12: You may have noticed by now that we haven’t even touched your final ascension. Well no longer! Use your final ASI to become a Master of Disguise, bumping up your charisma score by one, giving you proficiency with the disguise kit, and letting you make a disguise after spending an hour watching a creature and eight hours crafting the disguise. The important thing here is that you can don the disguise in 1 action, letting you quickly change into your “you, but a mafia boss” disguise faster than most people can put on their armor.
19. Barbarian 13: Thirteenth level barbarians get another Brutal Critical, giving you yet another extra die of damage on critical hits.
20. Barbarian 14: Your capstone level grants you a Totemic Attunement, and while the tiger and wolf options are both cool, I think the Eagle totem option suits you the best, giving you a flying speed while raging, with the caveat that you can’t end your turn in mid-air. Before this level, you could jump 56 feet horizontally, and 20 feet vertically. Now you can jump 195 feet in any direction if you use your action and bonus action to dash.
Pros
You’ve got a base speed of 65 feet and the ability to fly for five minutes a day. You’re really, really mobile, is what I’m getting at. Heck, you’re technically better than Quetz at piledriving people, if you really wanted to go that route (don’t tell her I said that).
This also means that, similar to our other cat-themed build, you can combine point one with your burst damage for solid hit and run tactics. You can run in, hit an enemy four times with advantage and suped up crits, and run out past most people’s normal movement range with no problem. That makes you very scary for anything that lacks a ranged attack.
You also come jam packed with a lot of Utility, with plenty of skills and random little bits of knowledge to have use outside of combat.
Cons
Your Ki is very limited, stunting the amount of times you can use flurry of blows to boost your speed and power with flurry of blows.
Master of Disguise is a neat little gimmick for playing to character, but it’s not actually that good for the build. I’d either take the Tough or Resilient feats for the extra not-dying they afford.
Our two big stats for this build are Strength and Dexterity, which have a lot of overlap in their use. We easily could have just focused on dexterity and ignored the bit of damage from rage, and we’d have way more HP and AC to show for it. It’s probably not going to be a huge issue when you’re half a mile from combat anyway, but it’s still something to note.
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Song prompt (if you're still doing them). Pacify Her by Melanie Martinez. I feel like it has such wayleska energy.
oh they’re always going :> like recently i haven’t been working very fast [ i had a very scatterbrained few weeks, so my writing has been worse than usual, but since you’re pretty frequent in my notifications i wanted to give you something extra extra good so hopefully this exceeds your expectation :> ] This ended up being longer than the intended 1500 [ word count: 2865 ] so pt the thing under the keep reading thing-y :>
Tired, blue boy walks my way
Holding a girls hand
That basic bitch leaves finally
Now I can take her man
Bruce wasn’t listening. It was clear he was distracted, index finger absently tracing over the lines of the blueprints. Yellow and blue. His finger would follow the blue, until it crossed over the yellow and followed that one, following the way it snaked through the prints. Big brown eyes so full of sorrow that it made Jeremiah’s heart ache. He wanted to know what could put such a frown on his tired blue boy’s face. He wasn’t meant to worry, that crease between his brows didn’t belong. But, the part that irked Jeremiah the most was his inability to read what caused it. Bruce hadn’t said anything, but Jeremiah wanted to know, needed to know, what had upset him.
“Bruce?” Jeremiah prodded gently, setting aside his pencil that had been scratching out equations to make sure the building ability to properly balance the weight were correct. He didn’t respond. Just continuing to follow the line. Jeremiah waited a moment, perhaps Bruce was thinking about his work. Recognizing the expertise and complexity involved. He always loved it when Bruce saw his work. It was like Bruce saw him through it. But when he still didn’t respond Jeremiah stepped away from the smaller prototype of his plans for the rebuilt Gotham, his darling prince’s city, and gently moved the paper Bruce was touching causing his finger to slide off the line he was following and to glance up at Jeremiah. How deep into his own thoughts was he to not hear him? He didn’t need to be there anymore. Jeremiah was right here, speaking to him. He could feel his chest constrict as Bruce ignored him. His fingers tingling, wanting Bruce to pay attention to him. Only him. His words. His Eyes. HIM!
“Oh, yes?” This soft expression and with the way his eyes shone and face was flushed it was clear he was upset, enough to have been on the verge of crying. Jeremiah didn’t want him to be crying, he much preferred when Bruce’s thoughts were focused on him. He wouldn’t cause Bruce to cry like this. No, when Bruce cries because of Jeremiah they will be beautiful, a lovely pink flush and the tears to make his eyes sparkle. This crying was splotchy and messy, the tears flooding the lower lash line, so close to cascading over. Jeremiah wanted to fix this.
“You’re distracted.” Jeremiah wasn’t sure how to approach him. Even after spending so much time together he continuously found himself at a loss for the correct way to approach certain topics, and Bruce’s sadness was one of those topics. He understood that when the anniversary of his parent’s death came upon them. Why Bruce was hesitant to be around others, not wanting to leave the manor so Jeremiah came to him. He understood why he was hesitant to be around others in times of emotional vulnerability, but he and Bruce weren’t just people. They were connected in a way no one else understood. That’s why when he had gone over that day Bruce had hugged him so tight as if he was trying to crawl his nails into his back to grasp at his soul. To bound them so deep that their souls merged.
“My apologies, Miah.” Bruce put on a tense smile, “Selina hadn’t stayed for breakfast a week ago, and at the time I thought it was nothing, but she still hasn’t come back around.” Stayed for breakfast. Did she sleep there? Sleep with him?! He tried to repress the twist feeling of his stomach, ignoring how his bone ached to poke out of his skin like a porcupine defending itself. Based on Bruce’s sardonic smile, he could tell the way that Jeremiah wished to rip out both of their intestines and tie them together. Forever bound by him, nothing impure about their union. Only them. They were their own purity.
It was like once he opened his mouth to confide in Jeremiah about his worries he couldn’t stop. Like he had lost his usual control of his own voice. Every worry he had about Selina pouring out, about her health, and her inability to open up. Everything Jeremiah never wanted to hear he heard.
Someone told me stay away from things that aren't yours
But was he yours, if he wanted me so bad?
“He spoke of her too much. Selina this, Selina that! Can’t he see the work I put into this! Can’t he see?!” Jeremiah growled as he paced around the office. White hands twisting. The blue veins are too prominent with the strange new skin. He’s been so obvious with his affections previously, and now Bruce has the audacity to ignore him in exchange for some, some cat? He’s gone so far out of his way to include Bruce in his life. He spent countless nights planning the rebirth of his beloved city. He was the one putting in the work! He was the one who created a safe space for Bruce to be himself, not stop masquerading as some regular blue blood! Showing him that the outside world means nothing. He’s not the one leaving him behind, or turning his back on him at the first sign of trouble. Bruce needs to finally realize that he doesn’t love her, no matter what he may think. Their hearts are calling out to each other. They are the ones who are meant to be together, not her. That cat is merely a minor interference.
He needed Bruce to see who was actually there for him, maybe the best solution would be to cut that annoying little cat out of his life. Clearly, he needed some assistance. Bruce needn’t ever worry about her, never need to wonder what she is up to. She’ll be rotting.
“Boss.” It was Ecco’s voice that pulled him from the red haze that overran his thoughts. The anger that boiled in his blood. He could practically feel the skin burning from the inside out sizzling and melting off his bones, muscle splitting open. He couldn’t afford to be blinded, however. The cool water that Ecco had brought in was an unwanted reminder of how much he had drunk after wishing Bruce a safe drive home. How the burning of his skin mirrored the burning of his throat. The warmth wasn’t just the anger, it was fueled by alcohol. He hadn’t even realized he drank as much as he had, simply pouring more whenever his glass got empty. From the look of the bottle he may have well have just poured one glass and drank straight from the bottle.
“Go make me that frozen pizza in the freezer, please.” Jeremiah rubbed his eyes glancing around at his office that had been destroyed by his angry burst. Ecco had taken care of a drunken Jeremiah enough times to be aware of how the night would go. She wouldn’t be able to leave until maybe two am, if he slowed down on the drinking, or she would end up needing to stay later because he did continue drinking, and would then drunkenly tell her about Bruce and his plans, and she would need to entice him to leave the office so he wouldn’t mess up any of his plans, which has occurred before. To say hungover Jeremiah was more than anger would be an understatement.
He needed to do something about this Selina situation. She needed to realize that she was of no real importance to Bruce, needed to remind Bruce he needn’t worry himself over the lives of those beneath him.
She's getting on my nerves
You don't love her
Stop lying with those words
Jeremiah walked into the manor. It wasn’t the first time he had been here, but it has been the first time without explicit permission from Bruce. He hated how much he was working himself up; waiting in Bruce’s office for him to get back home, he and Selina had gone to lunch and longer Jeremiah waited the angrier he got. He sat legs crossed, eyes blankly staring at the bookshelves, but he couldn’t count anymore spines. Normally counting had kept his thoughts at bay, he could just numb his mind, but it didn’t work. Couldn’t work with the mental image of the two sharing hushed conversations, with her flirtatiously laying her hand on his arm-
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Selina. A sour taste spread across the back of his tongue at the thought of her name. Bruce’s name was a soothing balm usually, but not with the thoughts of him following Selina, it made his name feel like a too cold shower. His skin not knowing what to do and just panicking and sending his brain every pain signal to make it stop, but how could Jeremiah ever give up Bruce. He had an addiction. Something Jeremiah could never let go. The first one to see him as a separate force of his brother, but still see him as something that can be powerful. He wasn’t the weak twin in Bruce’s eyes. He was Jeremiah Valeska, the engineer, the man who could help Gotham. Jeremiah Valeska, his friend. The first time Bruce had mentioned that he thought of Jeremiah as a friend he was so taken aback his heart screamed in pain for a moment with how overjoyed he was - skipping a beat he realized later.
“Oh, Jeremiah?” Bruce brought him from his thoughts. Turning from the bright red damaged spine that he had absently stared at for who knows how long Jeremiah noticed a small cat standing behind him, a furious look in her face. Jeremiah wouldn’t mind removing it. Tearing the muscle from the bone, presenting his bloody skull and lamenting about the value of life, on if his life truly had any value before Bruce entered. He hadn’t realized how stuck in his own mind he was until Bruce came. Until Bruce reminded him that living wasn’t surviving, but it was seizing the moments, doing things you enjoy because you enjoy them. He brought life back into his projects. His workroom slowly became cluttered with small ideas and mazes simply because he enjoyed making them, not just because he needed to do something with his hands.
“Bruce, I’m sorry for having intruded; Alfred let me in.” He stood, buttoning his jacket. Bruce’s eyes latched onto the movement. The way Jeremiah’s head tilted higher than usual, how his eyes linger just to the left of his face. Something was wrong. Something had blocked the usual freedom in which they spoke, and the only change was Selina’s presence, but she had finally come inside and he thought they would finally be able to talk. While Jeremiah did lean towards a more formal approach when they were at the Manor, he had never avoided Bruce's eyes, he hadn’t put on the false bravado that Bruce had seen him use when on the call with contractors.
“It’s not a problem,” Bruce dismissed before looking back at Selina, “Can you please inform Alfred that we would like some coffee and to include some creamer.” It was a small thing from Bruce to remember and that was exactly why it made Jeremiah’s skin crawl. He never wanted the coffee to not linger on the back of his tongue, but the creamer helped protect his teeth, and the better care of his teeth he took the less likely he would need to go to the dentist. Jerome had wanted to play dentist a few too many times when they were kids; sometimes he could still feel his finger in his mouth, stretching his lips into a strange smile, his lips cracking as the thick irony taste coated his tongue.
“Has something happened?” He was so adorably concerned, but maybe that was concern for her. Maybe he thought Jeremiah would turn into Jerome, kill his precious little cat. Bruce was just concerned about her. HER! Why wouldn’t he acknowledge that she is unimportant? That he doesn’t need anyone besides him? He couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped. Crawled its way out against his will, such a fragile sound revealing how broken his mind was becoming at the continuous thoughts of Selina trying to claw her way in.
“What do you think, Bruce?” He strode closer, entering his space, but not quite able to bring himself to touch him. He wished he could, maybe that would put his mind at ease. It had been an internal war lasting a majority of the night to let Ecco talk him into speaking with Bruce before doing anything too extreme. Framing Selina for a few burglaries wasn’t too extreme by any means. The little cat burglar had gotten herself into worse trouble without his assistance, “Perhaps I’m not especially fond of how you’re worrying yourself over someone as insignificant as Selina Kyle.”
“She’s my friend, Jeremiah” The warning tone in his voice hurt worse than the words. Why couldn’t Bruce understand that she wasn’t worth his energy?
“She treats you like nothing more than a credit card. A nice place to crash for a night.” A half step closer, eyes desperately searching for… something. For some proof the Bruce isn’t that oblivious to her ruthless manipulation. His hand hesitantly rose, fingertips gently running along his cheekbone. His eyes so focus on the slightest flush, unaware of how Bruce’s eyes squeezed close, before blinking open again.
“Jeremiah, I sincerely hope that you’ll open up a little. She’s not using me.” He grabbed his hand, thumb pressing warningly against his palm. A smile curling on Jeremiah's lips as the poorly cloaked threat. The dangerous edge only made Jeremiah want to hold him more. Make him want to force Bruce to see that they are meant for each other, not him and Selina. Jeremiah was here. He was here. Why couldn’t Bruce wrap that pretty little head around that.
It was a poorly thought out decision, Jeremiah will admit that. But he doesn’t regret it, not as Bruce pushed at his chest and tried to pull away, but only for a moment. It was just a moment of fighting, of push back, before he melted. Or maybe Jeremiah melted. Perhaps both had been weakened by the other, and the warmth provided of two hearts perfectly in sync finally having a way to connect. The way Bruce’s hand shifted to interlock their fingers. How his free hand that had been a fist at his side hesitantly rose to briefly curl into his hair, before being pulled out.
Nothing could match the true fury of when the hand that had been on Bruce neck, that had pulled him into a viciously soft kiss, of teeth clashing and bodies melting, had been pulled off by the hand that should’ve been in his hair. All because he felt it absolutely impertinent to address the surprised gasp and clattering of dishware. Even as Bruce turned his head to look at the doorway where Selina stood, no doubt, Jeremiah didn’t step away, staying perfectly within Bruce’s personal bubble. He was entirely comfortable with the invasion. Glad to be able to show her who Bruce really belonged to. Who he was supposed to be with. Just as he would relish the idea of Bruce possessively entering his space to show whoever he deemed necessary to show that he was Bruce’s. HE would always welcome his invasion into his space. Just as he HAD welcomed Bruce’s invasion into his space through the budding relationship.
“Selina!” Bruce’s hand tightened on Jeremiah’s. The thumb had been quick to move as the finger interlaced as they were always meant to be, started to rub anxious circles on his knuckle, “My apologies, we had, um” He sheepishly looked at the floor searching for a word, when Jeremiah helpfully supplied, “Got caught up in the heat of the moment, I’m sure you understand how it is.”
“Oh, yes, of course.” Jeremiah could pick up on the sarcasm, easily dismissing it as her jealousy, rather than the pointed way she said it to Bruce, “But I guess you got this covered Bruce, I’ll leave you to it.” The irritation in Selina’s voice was clear as she walked off. See, Selina had never tried to take Bruce from Jeremiah, just as Bruce hadn’t harbored any romantic feelings for her. The whole reason he had been so worried about Selina is he wasn’t sure how to deal with the crush on the older architect, and she was meant to help him. Obviously, he hadn’t realized just how little assistance he had needed. As Selina stalked off towards the door, to silently make her way into the garage to take a car, a thing she had become quite accustomed to doing, and leaving them at the GCPD, Jeremiah had found a spot right below the corner of Bruce jaw the grew red quite quickly. He didn’t want anyone else making the foolish mistake of thinking they could take Bruce from him. Now that Bruce had given him an inch, he was going to take a mile.
#i’m really really sorry about the delay 😅 i hope it was worth the wait possibly??#but anyways here you go pacify her by melanie martinez for wayleska#kotr#murder they wrote#king’s music box#jeremiah valeska#bruce wayne#fun fact i though this vanished for a few minutes and you know the meme ‘i’m about to end this whole man’s career?’ yeah that was tumblr@me#you know john mulaney gid if that doesn’t want to make you walk into the goddamn ocean#i wanted to walk into the goddamn ocean#i had just finish a movie that had the most emotional commitment in the past three months of apathy from this pandemic and i am ON THE EDGE#*maniacal laughter in the distance*#i may proof read my writing but i never prood read my messages or tags until like four days later smh#i am chaos U L G H
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thinkin’ ‘bout final fantasy
I go by Not The Author for exactly the reason that I ain’t no expert on any given work of fiction, but I do like to make connections what make me seem smart: an illusion, haphazardly crafted by incident accident and supplemented by precocious pretentiousness. All the same, here are some fun thoughts I had that you might also enjoy!
I do have a point, that I do get to. I feel like I should say that ahead of time, all things considered. Like, I can appreciate if you can’t appreciate a shaggy dog story? But there is a point to all this.
...Eventually.
Spoiler Warning:
Final Fantasies 1, 6, 7, 7R, 13 and 15
Content Warning:
Discussion of death
Cussin’
Length warning:
5621 words
13 sections
16 digressions
Let’s dig in.
- - - - -
Final Fantasy 1 was not my first Final Fantasy experience, but I think it was the first I ever played by myself? The remaster for the GBA, came bundled with FF2 on the same cart, which I played briefly but did not complete and do not remember, except that it had Cid.
FF1 doesn’t have a Cid, but I really loved the narrative anyway, straightforward as it was, because it was very specifically about spitting in the face of an uncaring god who would doom the world for a laugh. Take these chains that bind us to darkness and, though we be forgot to history, strangle with them that selfsame darkness to bring an end to its tyranny.
((it is a terrible curse, to love time travel. so many grand expectations, so few ever met. play ghost trick, chrono trigger, radiant historia, majora’s mask, outer wilds. have you any recs yourself, lemme know! I digress.
((I digress a lot, as I may have mentioned. they’ll be noted in parenthetical, like this.))
This is the foundation upon which Final Fantasy is built, and while any student of architecture could tell you of many and varied perfectly valid construction techniques, it resonates. Grappling with an immutable past to course-correct an uncaring future is, too, an apt description of personal growth; a theme as universal as being alive. And I, as an impressionable youth, ate that shit up.
((I assume I was young, at any rate. my love for time travel, be it era-spanning or moment-stretching, is, I suspect, not entirely coincidental to my terrible temporal memory.))
And that was the tale of the studio, too. Final Fantasy was so titled because, the story goes, the developers knew they would shutter if it didn’t make bank. Staring your imminent demise in the face, knowing your fate is doom, and giving it your all, all the same.
And then they made another twelve, plus two-and-a-half MMOs, and god knows how many mobile games and spin-offs, and now the Fantasy is that there could ever be a Final one. so say I: life parodies art.
((the half-an-MMO is FF14 1.0, which no longer exists and is a fascinating tale, a rally against bleak futures all its own. I’ll [link] Noclip’s three-part documentary covering the developer’s side of things, because that’s the one I’ve seen. there’s plenty other material to hunt down, though, if you wanna.))
- - - - -
Final Fantasy VII is a game about fate, too. Particularly Death, that most ultimate of fates. Tragic, to be sure; preventable, or at least delayable, in many cases; necessary, at times, for the growth of something new.
Unrelenting. Unstoppable. Inescapable.
Death, and the fights against it, take many forms. There are the fascist death squads that hunt down your ragtag band and any dissent against their cruel masters, but these will only truly stop by cutting off the hydra’s head and building an entirely new society; eight dudes and their dog, faced with a corporate private military, can survive but never win. There are such disasters as do slay that hydra, be they natural or man-made. There’s the space alien and the apocalypse it ushers. There’s literal illness and injury, physical or otherwise. There are the deaths of loved ones, friends and family, that lead to some subtler deaths within those that survive them. The deaths of relationships, by neglect or abandonment. The ideological deaths we inflict on ourselves, accepting ever-growing lesser evils in the name of some impossible ideal.
Every day, the person we were becomes the person we are, and soon, the person we are will give way to someone new, and this, too, is a sort of death. In this sense, we tally Cloud’s deaths at least five: failure to become a Soldier and rebirth in shame, the massacre of Nibelheim and rebirth in grief, arrival at Midgar and rebirth in delusion, his cratering at the Crater and rebirth in nihilism, and his death and rebirth in the Lifestream of Mideel.
((you could prolly hunt down another two if you wanna be cheeky, but I lack the knowledge, motive and patience. frankly, this whole thing is to create a leading line of logic and probably isn’t, uh. academically ethical? or whatever the term is. I’m not necessarily wrong, but I’m definitely scuttling nuance. oh well!))
Now, I say “rebirth,” because that’s how deaths of identity more-or-less work. There’s usually some new identity waiting in the wings to take over. And rebirth is itself a notable theme, inasmuch as it is one outcome of death. But death is oft more final than that, and what people do in its imminence and wake is key here, too. Wutai’s collapse into an insular tourist trap. Avalanche’s vengeful fervor, in general and post-plate drop. Bugenhagen trying to pass his knowledge on to Red. The whole party’s ongoing post-traumatic depressive episodes.
Ultimately, death is the inescapable fate of all things. It’s what we do, in light of that, that makes us who we are.
- - - - -
Final Fantasies 13 and 15 are the only modern Final Fantasies I’ve beaten, and I bring them up because both deal very prominently with fate and death, and as Square’s most recent mainline FF titles, Remake can’t exist without comparison to them. Here’s what I remember:
Final Fantasy 13 was a game I enjoyed. The stagger system mixed up my casual FF tradition of Get The Big Numbers by putting a prominent UI element onscreen that says You Can’t Get The Big Numbers Unless The Bar Is Full. Suddenly there’s a natural-but-enforced ebb and flow to combat built in, where you gotta juggle chip damage, survival, and crowd control while keeping resources enough to burst down a staggered foe, but maintain situational awareness to swap back into survival mode if you’re not gonna down your enemy, all in something close to real-time. Very obviously a direct precursor to the combat of Remake. I didn’t realize the depth of it, but it was still super fun.
People at the time didn’t like the linearity of the game and, I can see that in retrospect? I think it’s closer to, there weren’t breakpoints, there wasn’t variety. It was cutscenes, combat, and the stretches of land between them; the only real thing for the brain to get a workout on was the combat, and eating only one kinda food is gonna make that food taste bland.
((I didn’t mind, but I like idle games, and, also probably had depression around then. Take that how you will.))
The story, though, I loved. You got your uncaring gods forcing mortals to do their increasingly-impossible bidding, cursing them to agonized unlife if they take too long, and with blissful, beautiful death if they succeed. It sucks! And here you have a ragtag band of incidental idiots trying to rebel against a system that, actually, wants them to? Like that’s the plan? Have mortals kill god and summon the devil to destroy all life, because god, doesn’t.... like life anymore?
((The lore gets more than a little impenetrable, and I remember bouncing off it a couple times. The throughline of God Sucks And Makes Zombies was good though.))
The biblical parallels are obvious, and if they weren’t, the final boss’ design will clue you in, god that’s a good design. hang on I can add pictures and already tossed a spoiler warning, here, look at this:
(per the Final Fantasy Fandom Wiki [X])
That’s literally The Holy Trinity But A Sword The Size Of A Building. It’s perfect.
Anyway, I love this game, because the heroes win, which is what God wants, so in winning, they lose, as was fated to be, right? Fuck All That, say the lesbians from space australia, as they turn into satan and, as satan, stop God’s shitty metal moon from crashing into space australia and destroying all life.
((this awakened something in me, though, as is becoming a theme, I wasn’t aware of it at the time. actually hold up I’m gonna rewatch that sequence.
((yeah okay wow on review that was aggressively cheesy and had a whole bunch of weird emotional whiplash that just leaves a super-bad aftertaste. I don’t really like it as an experience, but big bazonga lesbian satan with arms for hair is still a look-and-a-half.))
The whole thing is not entirely unlike if meteor was also Midgar, and there’s more than a few points where I went, hang on, are they trying to evoke 7 here? “Lightning” is ex-military and bad at emotions, Sazh is a black dad w/ guns and emotional trauma and I love him, quirky pink healer girl who might be an alien is here, the game starts on a train and leads into a robot bug fight; obviously it’s not one-to-one but the connections are there for a brain like mine to make, and only more prominent for the fact that FF7 was the more satisfying game.
((I cannot speak to 13-2 or -3; 13-2 was fun up until the enemies were abruptly 30 levels higher than me, more or less a mandate by the game for me to do all the side content, which I was not on-board with. I skipped 13-3 entirely, especially when I learned the whole game is on a timer. did not and do not need that stress in my life.))
- - - - -
But okay, FF13 was “too linear” and wasn’t doing super great. Enter Final Fantasy Versus 13, by which I mean enter Final Fantasy 15 actually, we don’t need any more of this 13 crap. And once again, I enjoyed it! ...Right up until it was bad.
Final Fantasy 15 was not a finished game, and we know this for certain now, because all its DLC was to make it a finished game. At the time, though, there was uncomfortable and inconsistent story pacing, only one playable character, relatively sparse combat mechanics... but it was open-world, and hey, that’s what you wanted, right? open, non-linear environments? I picked it up because, Teleporting Swordsman With a Motorcycle Sword. I am of simple pleasures, and those are they.
Of the little I remember, one point that’s stuck with me is the sequence following the Leviathan fight. See, we’ve been talking about fate and destiny and how Final Fantasy likes to spite them. Here in 15, our main man Noctis doesn’t want the destiny he’s been burdened with, to Become The King and Save The World from the Coming Darkness, or whatever. He’d really rather be doing, anything else? like hanging out with his buddies or actually getting married or, I dunno, grieving the death of his father. Nope! You don’t get to do that. Go find the ghost armaments of your dead ancestors so you can ~saaave the wooorld!~ I would have been in college around then, so, eminently relatable.
Now, on this journey, you meet a guy called Ardyn. He’s the sort of character that was built as an attack on me personally: sleazy, charming, possessing airs of casual familiarity with people he’s never met, kinda helps you out in tight spots, and also, by the way, vizier to the empire that killed your dad and wants you and your friends dead too. But not in the “secret good guy” way, he just likes fucking with you! he’s perfect.
Right up until the Leviathan fight.
See, Lunafreya, your betrothed--
((I’m so mad about this stupid, stupid garbage. I love Lunafreya on principle, but the game doesn’t bother to give her screentime. you only ever hear about her incidentally, which can be cool if you then meet the character and get to compare/contrast what you’ve heard, but the initial release only has her show up for this one chapter, and your party doesn’t really get to interact with her that much.))
Your betrothed is here and she’s some symbol of the peoples’ hope, right? she’s got light magic or something, and can actually commune with the gods. the gods are on your side, but you can’t actually understand a word they say, but she can, and that’s sick as hell. anyway.
You lose the fight against Leviathan, because you’re a shitty emo teen who doesn’t know how to use your ghost swords, and she got beat up earlier when Levi got all pissy at being summoned. And then Ardyn shows up in his magitek dropship.
Now earlier, Ardyn had Luna as his captive, completely at his mercy, and right now, he who would be king of kings, destined to save the world from darkness, is clutching at rock in a hurricane, beaten, wounded and dying.
Of the two, which do you think he stabs to death?
if you thought, “the protagonist, which will allow him to win, and subvert Final Fantasy’s themes of defying fate by having the villain be the one to do it, forcing everyone else to scramble for some alternate solution and deal with the fallout,” congratulations! You win disappointment, because that idea’s cool as hell and they didn’t. fucking. Do it.
((Ardyn, before this, had given me major Kefka vibes, and thinking on it now, the world descending into darkness in the 15 we never had could have played with even deeper parallels to FF6... but I never played 6, and that FF15 doesn’t exist, so... I’ll leave that analysis to better scholars.))
now, with the benefit of hindsight, that was never going to happen. too long in development hell, game had to ship, had no time or budget for mid-game upheaval. but at the time? made me lose any interest I had in Ardyn, made me mad at the developers for passing up on fulfilling the themes their series had explored in past, made me almost stop playing the game. I’m still mad about it for crying out loud!
((thinking about it gets me tensed up, coiled, with that sort of full-body thrum that’s best conveyed with letters that jitter around. best I can do here is bold italics, but it doesn’t have the right energy. it’s a fleeting feeling, but when it’s here? god. given the men that wrote this scene I would fight all of them and win.
((inhale...
((exhale...
((and move on.))
We, the player, never really meet Luna, so there’s no real... impact, no substance to it. It’s sad, but impersonal. villain kills damsel to inflict manpain on hero. that’s it. we’ve seen this song and dance before.
But kill Noctis? The character the player’s been controlling all this time, who they know intimately? Now it’s personal. Now your party members’ grief is a mirror to your own. And now you get to play as Luna, maybe? give the game time to flesh her out, have her bond with your old companions over their shared grief, and maybe use her connections and public speaking skills to rally the people of the world, in a perhaps-vain attempt to resist the oncoming darkness, while simultaneously using that public-facingness to drive her to hide her own fear and hopelessness...? That’s a complex character ripe for drama and tragedy right there! And then her, at the head of a story about people coming together to solve a global calamity themselves, rather than await their appointed savior?
Even then, but especially now... You can see the appeal, right?
- - - - -
Lemme step back and zoom out for a moment, because there’s one more kind of Fate to discuss before I finalize my thesis. Yes, I promise, there is a point besides being mad at FF15, this is still ultimately about Remake. Bear with me a little longer.
See, Remake’s premise is that it’s not quite FF7, but that itself is predicated on Remake being essentially FF7. Certain things must be in the Remake series, or it will cease to be the Final Fantasy 7 Remake series. The developers have gone on record saying as much, that they’ll still cover the thrust of the original, and that makes a lot of sense from a development standpoint. Building on an existing framework saves loads of time, and lets them focus on details as they have in Remake.
((I think they've already set up an in-universe justification for this, too. The party may have defeated the Whispers at Midgar, but the Whispers are the will of the planet. The only way to truly defeat them would be to defeat the planet itself, which: kind of the goal of the villains!
((a bit ironic, because the villains are the Whispers’ means to keep manipulating events. Remake backends a very large portion of the plot, and I don’t think Rufus seeing the Whispers is a throwaway detail. The party chases Sephiroth by chasing Shinra in the original, so even if the party has shaken free of the direct influence of the Whispers, manipulating Shinra should in turn manipulate the party.
((on top of which, Rufus prizes power, and the power to change or control fate-- something both the party and Sephiroth have seized-- would be as enticing as anything.))
But this begs the question: How much of Final Fantasy 7 is necessary before it stops being Final Fantasy 7? Do you need all nine characters? The Weapons? Rideable chocobo? Breedable chocobo? What about locations? Can you drop the Gold Saucer? or Mount Condor? or Mideel? How many minigames am I holding up? These are necessary questions, but so is this:
“Would a one-to-one recreation of the original game have the same emotional impact as when it released, twenty-three years ago?”
- - - - -
Now, the phrase “emotional impact” is necessarily kind of nebulous and subjective, so lemme dig into that a little bit.
The first significant chunk of the original FF7 takes place entirely in Midgar, which is one huge city. Every screen is densely packed; movement is typically constrained to narrow corridors and industrial crawlspaces. The whole world is deeply claustrophobic and visually hostile, by design.
This is FF7 for the first few hours, before a motorcycle chase deposits you outside city limits, and then... you hit the world map, and everything changes. The world is rendered in three whole dimensions, now! (Then, a technological marvel in its own right.) There’s a sky! There’s a horizon! Grass, mountains, the ocean!
Boundless, terrifying freedom.
From a mechanical standpoint, there’s only one real destination, an A-to-B with random encounters before a small enclosure with an inn and shops, no real change from what you’ve already been doing. But the mood? Everything’s fresh and new, now. Everything’s an unknown.
So, how do we do that again, two-and-a-half decades on?
Let’s say, something like this: Remake 2 starts with Cloud and Sephiroth en route to Nibelheim. For new players, this provides immediate intrigue: why are these mortal enemies hanging out in a truck? how did they get here, where are they going? For veterans, it’s familiar: oh, we’re in the flashback sequence.
For both, it provides mechanical familiarity. We just finished last game hanging out in Midgar, a bunch of town squares with shops and cutscenes connected to hazardous corridors. Well, Nibelheim’s a town with shops and cutscenes, connected to a monster-filled anthill and capped with a reactor. We know this. We’ve done this. We can do this again.
And when the flashback ends, we’re in Kalm. Another town, maybe with sidequests this time; Midgar looming in the distant skybox as a reminder of how far we’ve come.
And then you leave Kalm, and the camera zooms out, and out, and out...
Remake is essentially 7, and you can’t have the impact of 7′s world map reveal if Remake isn’t functionally open-world too. Square has plenty of experience with open environments, however successful their more recent attempts have been; I’m confident that the have the ability, at least, to craft an expansive world that feels appropriate to FF7.
((I’d like to take a moment here to talk about FF14, which mixes both compact twisty dungeons and wide-open overworld zones, and is necessarily wildly successful to still be operating as an MMO... but though I have played it briefly, I don’t claim knowledge sufficient to go in-depth. The point is, Square not only can make a game like that, they have, and are, and apparently possess non-zero competency. I have worries, but I’m not worried, if that makes sense.))
So, can you recreate a given kind of emotional impact? Yeah!
Can scenes from the original Final Fantasy 7 be rendered into a new context, more-or-less as they were? Absolutely!
Would a one-to-one recreation of the original game have the same emotional impact as when it released, twenty-three years ago?
- - - - -
Aerith dies.
If you opened this post and didn’t know that, well. There were spoiler warnings up at the top, the game’s more than two decades old, and the spoiler itself is basically a piece of pop-culture, up there with space dad and wizard killer. There’re probably plenty of people who know next-to-nothing about Final Fantasy 7 except that Aerith dies.
Everyone knows because, at the time, it was so big a thing. This was a title that Square hyped to heaven and back to push JRPGs into mainstream western markets, and it worked. And this was before major death was so common and arbitrary as it is today; even now, Game of Thrones and its ilk are a relative rarity. The death of a protagonist or love interest wasn’t a new thing for games, or any media really, but usually you knew it was coming, or it served some purpose. Aerith’s death was sudden, arbitrary, you’re almost immediately thrown into a boss fight so you don’t even have time to process it right away, and it’s the first stone in an avalanche of other pointless arbitrary tragedy. It’s an obvious narrative setup for the endgame confrontation with Sephiroth; instead, Cloud has a breakdown, Meteor happens, and now there’s an entire Disk 2.
Fandom has always been fandom, even before the continuous immediacy of the modern internet, but... people wrote letters to Square, and got sad on message boards. There’s an entire subset of forum signatures, back when those were a thing, that you could sort as “people fucked up over Aerith dying.” And again, this was the world. Not just Japan, or Asia, but everyone.
((Or, everyone with the finances to have a PS2 and/or an internet connection. Gaming as a pastime remains way expensive, whether played or watched. But you know how it is.))
And that’s the problem with answering that question.
See, FF7 is a lot of things, but for better or worse, it is defined by Aerith’s death. It’s one of many factors, but you can’t... leave it out, right? or it wouldn’t be FF7 anymore.
Aerith dies in FF7, and everyone knows it.
- - - - -
But Remake has promised, repeatedly, that things will be different this time. Everyone is coming together to defy fate, and Cloud in particular is here to keep Aerith from dying. Bodyguard jokes aside, Cloud repeatedly has flashbacks (flashforwards?) to Aerith’s death and the events leading to it. When he meets her in the church, when they cross into Sector 6, twice in the final battle. Hell, the very first time they meet, Sephiroth taunts him about not being able to save her. Even from a metatextual standpoint, since everyone knows Aerith dies, that’s like, The Most Obvious Fate To Change.
If, after all that, Aerith still dies? It’s not just tragedy, at that point. That’s the developers, actively lying to the player about their intent in making this game series. That’s frustrating, and immersion-breaking, and when said death is likely to still have one or more entire sequels to come after? maybe not great for sales! I know I didn’t bother buying the complete edition of FF15; I couldn’t bring myself to care enough about a game that set up this cool possibility, and then just, failed to deliver on every count.
And, Remake is being made for two audiences. I’ve said “everybody knows Aerith dies,” but that’s not really true, is it? It’s been 23 years, after all. Remake could well be someone’s very first Final Fantasy experience. That’s why they’ve been telegraphing Aerith’s death so hard. Not everyone knows, but at least everyone can guess. Is it fair, then, to this new audience, with potentially no knowledge or understanding of the legacy of this flashy new action game, to foreshadow tragedy in the future, have everyone come together to say, We’re Going To Stop This, and then... not? Is that good writing? Is that satisfying? When this is a multi-game and potentially multi-console investment of time and money, is this, as a newcomer, a story you’d want to keep playing?
And then on top of that, it’s 2020.
I don’t mean that in the current-year-fallacy, “we’re better than this now” kind of way. Rather, the way I felt about Final Fantasy 15 is even more relevant now. People, in real life, are realizing that the powers-that-be are failing them, have failed them, have been failing them for far longer than twenty-three years. The people that already knew that are actually showing up for each other, to spite what felt and feels like inescapable fate and finding that, together, they might just be able to ruin God’s day.
Game development is, of course, its own whole beast, and projects in motion tend to stay in motion; deviating from a plan takes time and money that Square may be unwilling to spend. But, under current world circumstances: is making a game where the hero sets out to save one specific person from their fated death, and following that with a game where that one specific person dies anyway, aside from everything else, a good business decision?
- - - - -
So... Aerith, shouldn’t die, right...? But, FF7 requires Meteor, and so requires the Temple of the Ancients and the Black Materia. And, Meteor can only be stopped by Holy, so FF7 requires the Forgotten City.
FF7 is a tragedy. FF7 demands blood.
...Hey, actually, hold that thought. How come Cloud can remember Aerith dying in the first place? He’s not from the future, right? He’s got a connection to Sephiroth, who is from the future... and Sephiroth can manipulate his memories...? but, why would Sephiroth let him, or make him, remember that?
Hey, how come Zack is alive, but like, in the “narrative scope” sense? Wouldn’t his presence circumvent Cloud’s delusions about the Nibelheim incident?
Hey, how come Cloud had multiple big climactic Sephiroth confrontations at what’s essentially the end of the prologue, including one that mirrors the very end of the original FF7? Shouldn’t that still come at, like, you know. the end?
Hey, how come--
- - - - -
Remake has these... Callbacks? Refrains? Like my favorite, when Sephiroth throws a train-- you know, The Fate Metaphor-- at Cloud, who absolutely shreds the thing. Or, for a more direct example:
And it frequently uses these to show that people are changing, that things can change. You know, the whole Running Theme the game has going on.
Sephiroth gets a refrain, too.
At the start of the game (give or take a reactor), in his first real appearance, Sephiroth philosophizes at Cloud, makes sure Cloud hates him, and tells Cloud what he wants.
At the end of the game, in his last appearance, Sephiroth philosophizes at Cloud, tells Cloud what he wants, and makes sure Cloud hates him.
Structurally, these encounters more-or-less bookend the game; thematically, it doesn’t exactly indicate change. Barret may or may not have come around on Cloud, and his admission that Cloud is important to him after all is, itself, important. Cloud, on the other hand, was always going to defy Sephiroth. He stands resolute, now, ready to fight rather than flee, but apathy was never on the table.
Now, Sephiroth’s whole Thing is psychologically manipulating Cloud to get what he wants, and as part of that, what Sephiroth wants is usually not what he says he wants.
All throughout the original FF7, Sephiroth riled up Cloud so that Cloud would pursue and defy him, culminating first in the Black Materia incident, and then again in the Forgotten City. None of the Sephiroth clones could survive the trip through the Northern Crater, so Sephiroth had to lure Cloud, with the Black Materia, to him, and then also convince Cloud to give up the Black Materia of his own accord. Mind control, memory manipulation and illusions were involved, but if Sephiroth could maintain those indefinitely, he probably just. Would have done that instead. Way easier,
The point is, in Remake, in addition to all the intermittent retraumitization sprinkled throughout the game, Sephiroth goes out of his way twice to directly ask Cloud, “hey, you hate me, right?” And, as part of that question, he tells Cloud, “this is what I want.” And Cloud? He hates Sephiroth, and will do his damnedest to keep Sephiroth from getting what he wants.
So. What does Sephiroth... say he wants?
- - - - -
One last aside before we cap off: This post would not exist without the valiant efforts of one Maximilian_dood. His devotion to the series kept myself and many others engaged and excited and, frankly, hopeful, in the leadup to the release of Remake, and his correlations between the rest of the FF7 series and Remake were enlightening and entertaining.
and had he not the gall to identify defying fate as a device to make aerith’s death more tragic, I would never have been angry enough to write this.
((I know, I know. Gaming and streaming and lit analysis are all hard individually, and I don’t begrudge losing one for the other two. And it was a first playthrough! I might have seen these lines sooner than some, but collating all this info was certainly not instantaneous. And Square can be hack writers at times-- see again my rant on FF15-- so even then, I can’t discount the possibility.
((but, still.
((Really?))
So, while I would like to believe that I have, by now, made my thesis on Remake’s narrative direction abundantly clear, here it is spelled out anyway:
- - - - -
At the bottom of the Forgotten City, at the shrine on the pillar in the lake, Cloud will find Aerith, who believes her fate immutable.
Sephiroth will descend, and Cloud will sacrifice himself, that Aerith should live.
This is Sephiroth’s plan.
- - - - -
Hey, thanks for reading this far! With my conversational tone and rambling tendencies, I’d have preferred to make this an audio post or, god forbid, a video essay, but I got a keyboard, and that’ll have to do. Diction is important to me, as the capitalization, italics and use of punctuation may have clued you in on, so... maybe you’ll get a dramatic reading sometime in the future? but, don’t bet on it.
Feel free to riddle me with questions, or point out inconsistencies with this big ol’ thing! I’m not exactly an expert, and I’m sure I glossed over, heavily paraphrased, completely forgot, intentionally ignored and/or aggressively misrepresented some stuff, but I love learning and teaching esoteric bullshit about The Vijigams. On that note, anything that sounds like it should be sourced is sourced from “I heard about it on social media or in a stream or youtube video one time, but if I actually had to hunt it down this whole thing would never see the light of day, and it has already been like three months,” which isn’t to excuse my lack of due diligence, but I do, lack diligence, so, tough.
Oh! but the Remake screens all come from [here]. Don’t care much for that splash screen, but, I Get It, so, whatever.
There were some other things I wanted to touch on but couldn’t really find a spot for. FF7 Remake as a metaphor for its own development, for example. Or, some of The Possibilities, like how Cloud’s death could very literally haunt Aerith, or how Remake sets up a more fleshed-out Midgar revisit that Cloud’s death specifically would make infinitely sadder.
On that note, if it was not yet obvious, I love speculation, and if they do go this direction, it’ll probably be their justification to go completely... off the rails? Remake only has to be FF7 until it doesn’t, after all. If there’s some wilder implications youall see for like... I dunno, a Jenova more fully-regenerated from also having Cloud’s cells back, getting into proper Kaiju-on-Kaiju battles with the Weapons, or anything like that? Feed me your brain juice, etc.
And, once more, for the road: this is interpretation; subjective, opinionated, and very much in denial of any kind of author-ity. Nor is this a claim on how things should be, or an assertion that this would be good or bad. Everything ultimately rests on Square's narrative design team and, we’ve touched on them already.
((but, for your consideration: I’m smart, and right))
Here’s hoping, whatever happens, we get the game we deserve.
thanks for coming to my ted talk, have a great day
#In This Essay I Will but for real this time#but hell if that's stopped me before#ff7 remake#blatant speculation#ff7 remake spoilers#ff7 spoilers#ff13 spoilers#ff15 spoilers#I dip into spoiler territory on more but these ones get a deeper dive#also if any of y'all know how to get images screen-read-able please lemme know#the screenshots are to point out that the game itself does do these things#but I don't wanna content-lock anybody out of my bad garbage#also also if the wordcount didn't clue you in:#long post#posting this right now immediately listening
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The New Guardian
Story Summary: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is an adult in the real world, guarding the Miracle Box in Master Fu's place. She's in love with Chat Noir, but refuses to tell him her feelings. New holders appear to fight the duo and shake up their lives. Marinette makes a tough decision about her future as Ladybug.
Chapter 23: The Cube Part 3
"Everything you went through." Ivory's eyes shot open, looking down at the pavement. "I see your reasoning. I've seen your lives. I've seen your heroic abilities." She sighed and looked at the two. Ladybug and Chat Noir watched her, unsure of their future. The story could go on, but their possible enemy has made up her mind. "I understand what I need to do."
The two heroes began to breathe heavy as they paled. Chat Noir began to cough, Ladybug choking soon after. Both hunched over, trying to stay up as they held their throats.
Ladybug's eyes watered from the lack of air. 'Were they to die? Here in the middle of the road? Had their internal fight been for nothing? How could it end so easily?' Ladybug thought. 'After those weeks at the temple and the long trial, they still couldn't escape the trouble that followed. Maybe Marinette's happy ending wasn't deserved.'
Ivory watched them, her face emotionless. Suddenly, Ladybug felt something as she continued to gag. It slithered against the back of her throat. In a matter of seconds, the small black cube fell into Ladybug's hands. Chat Noir's dropped to the pavement with a 'clack.' Ladybug inhaled deeply, trying to catch her breath. She stared at Ivory with hate. Ivory continued to watch as she opened her mouth, removing her cube from her tongue like a mint. She did it so calmly. It made the heroes' suffering seem unruly.
"Before you ask." Ivory said, picking up the box between them. It began to shake and the mini cubes shot up, reconnecting to the sides in a shimmer. "The cubes had to exit the body."
"It couldn't just shoot out of my hand or something?" Chat breathed, his throat burning.
"The cube has its ways. I'm just used to it." Ivory answered, standing up. She threw the box in the air and let it flash away.
"What are you planning to do?" Ladybug asked, slightly nervous.
Ivory picked up her blade, transforming it back to her bow, the arrow missing. "I plan to fix this." She threw her bow in the air and watched it burst into glitter and white flowers. They scatted like the miraculous ladybugs, fixing any damage. It cleaned up the aloe vera and blew out the fire, freeing the heroes and leaving a fragrant scent behind. Ladybug's yo-yo was fixed and her lucky charm disappeared. Ladybug and Chat Noir stood up.
"Thank you." Ladybug said.
"Don't think you've won." Ivory said, turning to walk to her partners. "This was hardly a battle."
"We won't." Ladybug said. "We're friends, aren't we?"
"Of course." Ivory looked down with a smile before peeking up. "Fern? Lemon?"
Fern nodded with a joyful grin.
"Whatever you say, boss." Lemon shrugged. "You're the leader."
Ivory turned back to Ladybug. "Even after sharing memories . . . I will not apologize for what I was taught. That isn't my responsibility, but for now . . . we are equals. I can see that you are prepared to defend this city and will do so effectively." She announced. "Do not worry about the temple, Marinette. I will keep the peace. New generations will start to move up and from this point, teachings will change. Because of my authority, I will keep our people on track to a better future."
"Paris is in good hands." Ladybug smiled. "And I will visit the temple every now and then, so don't be surprised when I stop to say hi."
"I look forward to it." Ivory spun and waved behind her.
Her partners shook off the situation, following their leader toward the setting sun. Lemon grabbed Fern's hand and interlocked their fingers as they smiled to each other. The trio disappeared as Ladybug turned to Chat Noir.
"It's finally-"
Ladybug jolted forward and covered Chat's mouth. "Don't you dare say it." Chat Noir stared down at her with a grin. Ladybug removed her hand and began to giggle. She grabbed his face, pressing her lips to his as Chat held her waist. Ladybug pulled back, resting her wrists on his shoulders. "You know we have to take the long way home in order to protect our identities."
"But your apartment is right there." He laughed.
"Reminds me of the old superhero days." Ladybug grabbed his hand and held it up. "But our miraculous also resumed after those cubes tried to kill us, so we have about a minute or less." She wrapped her arm around his waist and swung them on top of a set of buildings. Ladybug balanced herself. "Spots off."
Chat smiled. "Claws in."
"Now that the sun's setting and the conflict is over, we can finally enjoy the view in peace." Marinette sat on the edge, allowing her legs to dangle. Adrien sat next to her. "I wonder if Lemon could even fight after dark. Her powers are solely based on light and fire, but both are fueled by the sun. So if it goes down, do her powers at least weaken?"
"I don't know." Adrien said, staring at the outline of the Eiffel Tower. "I still don't comprehend how they keep their transformations going. Their powers are . . . just a mystery. They could easily crush us."
"I know. I was present for today's fight." Marinette chuckled.
"We're a power couple." Adrien shrugged.
Marinette smiled. "Maybe we should have enrolled at the academy for a year or so. There might have been less fighting if we did. Maybe we'd learn something there . . . or at least I would."
"Um, I don't think I would've belonged there." Adrien scrunched his eyebrows. "Besides the fact that everyone I ran into clearly hated me, I barely survived high school as it is. Sure, I won't have the insane popularity that I had here in Paris, but I'll have plenty of other reasons to be an outcast." He laughed. "A crazy, magical, academy, temple in the Tibetan mountains would've been a nightmare to survive."
"Nah, they'd love you eventually." Marinette blushed. "It took me some time."
"Well according to what you mentioned before, you've liked me for an insanely long time, but Chat Noir . . . a deal breaker there for awhile." He looked to her. "The claws just weren't fitting." He shook his head.
"Don't give me that look." Marinette hit his arm. "I vividly remember you constantly telling everyone who asked or even breathed my name that I'm "just a friend."" Adrien tried to speak, but Marinette silenced him. "Don't you even deny it. I will push you off of this roof if you do because I fell down so many flights of stairs for you and memorized your entire schedule for years in hopes that you'd at least take me on a date, but anything close to that was just a "friendly" get together." She glared.
"I know." Adrien admitted.
"I know." Marinette mocked, turning back to the pinkened sky with a grin. She pulled her legs up and rested her chin on her knees. "You really get on my nerves."
"But you love me." Adrien leaned against her shoulder.
"I do."
#miraculous ladybug#MIRACULOUS: TALES OF LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#chat noir#alice pink#alicepink-me#the new guardian#fanfiction#romance#conflict
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Nat x Reader request
Author’s note: this is my first ever attempt at writing a reader insert, but I did my best to keep the character as neutral as possible! Enjoy some fluff at a party with the team <3
Luminous
1622 words
“Ready to go?” You smile at Nat, her blue minidress sparkling in the bathroom lights. She sighs, sets down her lipstick, and flashes you a coy grin.
“What if we stayed here instead?”
“Hmm,” you arch an eyebrow as you take in her final look—the long legs, plunging neckline, and loose curls, “tempting, but you look far too good not to be seen.”
“But it’s just a stupid party,” she pouts, batting her eyes in that ridiculously over the top way you claim to hate, although it usually worked.
“Not this time, Nat. Clint insisted that we at least make an appearance, and I have a feeling my life will be much easier if your best friend doesn’t hate me.”
“Fine,” she groans, “but if anyone even mentions bringing out the karaoke machine, we’re leaving.”
“What, not in the mood to watch Tony attempt some classic rock while absolutely plastered?” you laugh.
“Ugh, I saw enough at his 40th to last a lifetime.” Natasha shudders but fails to hide a slight smirk. It wasn’t the first time you’d seen her pretend she didn’t care for Tony, but this was her worst bluff yet. You wonder if she’d cracked open the vodka without you in preparation for this event; unfortunately, she holds her liquor well and rarely shows definitive signs of intoxication, so there was no way to tell how many drinks she’d had.
In order to protect his safehouse from inevitable damage, Clint had called everyone to the Avengers compound under the guise of team bonding, not that they necessarily needed it. He’d tasked you with luring Nat there, as she isn’t particularly keen on socializing, especially not with people outside her immediate circle of friends.
She grumbles all the way from the car into the compound. Most of it’s in Russian, but you don’t need to ask what’s upsetting her.
“Welcome! You’re only,” Clint glances at his watch, “32 minutes late! That might be a new record, Nat!”
“You’re lucky I’m here at all. But now that we’ve arrived, I can leave at any time and not feel a shred of guilt, so keep it up, I dare you.” Natasha winks at him and heads for the bar, where she ushers the bartender away and starts mixing her own drink.
“How much has she already had?” Clint drops his voice to a whisper as he hugs you.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” you shrug. “But hey, at least she’s here. Wouldn’t want her to miss the celebration.”
You make your way around the room, politely greeting the rest of the guests before settling in on a barstool next to Nat and Maria.
“Now, this may just be a rumor, but I heard he has an issue with toast being cut diagonally,” Maria laughs.
“Think that applies to other types of bread? I’m tired of losing my lunch to all these boys.”
“It may only discourage Nick, but it’s worth a shot, right?”
“Busy conspiring against the boss?” you ask.
“Always!” Nat winks. “Maria, if you’ll excuse us a moment.” She leads you away from the others, down a dim hallway and into a training room. The lights flicker on in rows, revealing an arsenal of weapons. You’re finally close enough to smell the vodka seeping from her pores, to see the faint glaze in her eyes, and you start to panic, knowing she’s gone too far.
“Nat, love, let’s go back to the party, maybe get some water?”
“Shh, it’s fine. I’ve had way more than this and survived, it’s kind of an annual tradition. Besides, if Clint didn’t want me to get drunk tonight, he wouldn’t have stocked the bar with my favorites.” She reaches out to intertwine your fingers, tugging you even closer. With her other hand she smooths the worry lines across your forehead. “I’m fine, I promise.”
She kisses you gently, slowly, and pulls away, leaving you desperate for more. With a teasing wink, she slips through the doors, leaving you in the middle of the nearly empty room. You regain your composure and follow, back to the bright lights and animated chatter of the party.
Thor is in the corner daring Tony to lift Mjolnir, egging him on to see if the suit will help. Curled up on a couch nearby are Pepper and Rhodey, deep in discussion, but each keeping a close eye on their best friend and the Asgardian. Bursts of laughter draw your attention to the bar, where Maria, Sam, Clint, and Bucky are loudly cracking jokes with an increasingly embarrassed Steve. Nick and Bruce appear to be discussing schematics for new tech at a table across the room, which would seem odd if it were anyone else, but in the time that you’d known them, you’d never really seen those two loosen up.
You scan the room again, certain you’d somehow missed her, but discover that Nat’s nowhere to be found.
“She’ll come back, when she’s ready.” Clint sidles up beside you and hands you a glass of champagne. “You know this is a big deal for her, even being here today. Give her space to sober up a bit and calm down.”
“She didn’t seem mad,” you shake your head, “just suspicious that I know.”
“As long as they don’t,” Clint nods toward the other guests, “she’ll be fine.”
You make the rounds again, doing your best to bond with these wonderful people you hope will be in your life forever. Pepper and Rhodey commiserate with you over dealing with a loved one being a stubborn ass at times, although you have to acknowledge that they have it worse; Natasha could be completely unwilling to compromise, but she was much less likely to behave recklessly.
As you rise from the couch, Thor calls you over and tries to goad you into lifting Mjolnir, but, much like your girlfriend, you aren’t sure that’s something you want to know. Instead, you smile at Tony, his repulsors on full blast, the magical hammer refusing to budge whatsoever.
“The physics of it don’t make any sense!” he yells, releasing his grip and finally quieting the hands of his suit.
“That’s because you’re relying on such primitive knowledge!” Thor laughs. “See, what you consider magic is quite simply science so advanced, your realm likely won’t understand it for another thousand years or so, at the rate you’re going. You may be smart on Earth, but the genius of Asgardians—”
Fearing an incredibly technical argument above your pay grade, you slink away to join the group at the bar.
“—and he looked at her, eyes wide, like a fucking deer in the headlights, completely silent, until she gave up and asked someone else to dance!” Bucky claps a hand on Steve’s shoulder and throws his head back, practically cackling.
“Okay, Buck, I think that’s enough about pre-serum me.” Steve smiles weakly, his cheeks tinged red.
“Pre-serum?” Sam chuckles. “Man, he could’ve said that was last week and I would’ve believed him!”
“Making fun of Steve again?” Nat’s voice, low and rough, startles you, but months of her intentionally sneaking up on you has taught you not to jump. She wraps her arms around your waist, her head resting between your shoulder blades.
“Welcome back to the party, Nat.” Clint grins. “Got any stories you’d like to share?”
“Well,” without relinquishing contact, she slips around you to stand at your side, “there was this one time in New York…”
The details of her stories would seem exaggerated if you didn’t know the realities of their abilities and jobs. You spend the next hour or so laughing along with the others, blissfully unaware your time together is quickly drawing to a close.
“Hey, anyone want to break out the kar—” Tony yells, but Natasha is dragging you outside before he can finish his ill-fated question. Clint comes running after you, his tie flipping up over his shoulder as he jogs.
“Wait!”
To your surprise, Natasha actually stops and lets go of your arm, even starts walking back toward the building as if this all was anticipated. They embrace and whisper a few words to each other in a language you can’t hear well enough to identify. Clint smiles at you before heading back inside at a leisurely pace.
Nat’s quiet as you climb into the car, the toll of so much social interaction weighing on both of you, although you know the night’s not over yet. What comes next scares you more than it should, but you will your heart to slow, beg your voice to stay steady.
“Nat? Would you grab something out of the glovebox for me?”
“What could you possibly need—”
“Please?”
She sighs heavily and opens the compartment to discover a flat black box tied with a red satin ribbon. She shoots you a quizzical look as she loosens the bow. Inside sits a dainty silver chain with a single round charm, five small diamonds set at the points of an engraved design.
“It’s the constellation Delphinus,” you start to explain.
“Named after the dolphin Poseidon sent out to find Amphitrite,” she finishes the thought and traces the engraving with the tip of her finger. When she looks up at you, she’s smiling softly, her eyes brimming with tears. “How did you…?”
“Clint told me because he knew you wouldn’t.”
“Of course,” she laughs, wiping at her eyes. “How many other secrets has he shared?”
“Just the one, I promise.” You reach over and give her hand a reassuring squeeze. She gently kisses you, the bracelet slipping from her free hand as she moves to hold the back of your neck.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“Happy birthday, Nat.”
...
Tag list: @romanoff--natasha @clintashaotp @baker151910 @unholyromanoff @unsociable-hobbit @thexploress
#natasha romanoff#fanfic#fanfic request#black widow#reader insert#avengers#marvel#fanfiction#join my tag list!#I'm distraught I couldn't fit Wanda into this#I was struggling enough with the characters I had#and I couldn't figure out where to place her in the groups#so I didn't want to throw her in randomly just to have her silently in the background#like I had to do with some of the others#fluff#tbh there's always a little angst with Nat#but the point of this is the fluff#clint barton#maria hill#tony stark#pepper potts#james rhodes#steve rogers#bucky barnes#sam wilson#bruce banner#nicky fury#you know I had to reference my headcanon#Nat's a tease#I accidentally posted this on the wrong blog first because I'm an idiot
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For the OC Gift Meme (if you’re still accepting them): “For Astrid,” the note atop a crisply wrapped parcel reads in swooping cursive. “By now I’m certain you’re familiar with my aversion to deliberately hunting down elementally-charged flying lizards. However, the Highland Ravager that has settled in Emprise du Lion since we regrettably killed the last two is much closer to the village than my liking would permit. Which leads me to condone any expedition you and Bull may or may not (part 1)
Decide to partake in with efforts to remove the dragon. That said, within you’ll find two amulets I’ve overseen devising and charming into fire resistance myself. (Why have someone else craft what a pyromancer is fully capable of?) Also a bottle of some Dwarven whiskey Orzammar gifted us. I tried a sip from another bottle two nights ago. My liver is hardly forgiving. Happy Hunting—Kaaras.” (Part 2)
Okay, first off, thank you so much for sending this and promptingme to write about my disaster, zero-fucks-given daughter, Astrid Cadash. Buckle in, because this took a turn into a full on ficlet.
Note: I am still taking these! Have your OC send my OC a gift and I will respond!
Astrid set the letter aside and looked at the two amulets.Standard looking, but, knowing the Inquisitor, they would be good quality.
“Hey, what’s the boss got to say.” Bull asked, his hand comingto rest against her bare back.
She turned to face him, sprawled out in his bedroll, his eyeheavy-lidded from their recent fucking. She was still pleasantly sore.
Paragon’s asses, she liked being fucked by him.
His hand was rubbing circles on her back, warm and, though shewould be loath to admit it, comforting.
She smirked, leaning in close. “We have a new assignment, ifwe want.” She said, running her rough hand down his chest.
He raised his eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue.
“Ready to kill another dragon, Bull?” She finally said, herdeep voice teasing him.
Bull laughed. “Do you have to ask?”
“I don’t know, after that last fight…I thought you might bedone fighting dragons and want to retire.” She was teasing him, goading him. Itdidn’t take much for her to push all the right buttons. “You were a little slowin the last fight.”
Before she knew it, she was flipped on her back, Bull holdingher arms over her head. “Slow? Really…” He nipped at her throat, his breath ticklingon her skin. She just smirked up at him.
“Prove me wrong.” She challenged.
“Oh, I will…”
Round 3 of the night was well…fucking amazing.
**
The roar rocked the ancient stones around them, the beating ofgiant wings forcing Astrid to the ground, stabbing a dagger into the ground forsupport, to keep from being blown back.
Bull was closer, his great-axe doing damage to the beast’sforeleg. But right now, he had dug in, pulling Krem down with him against the artificialwinds.
Dalish was at the back with Stitches, providing rangedsupport.
Rocky was somewhere, lobbing bombs at the thing from randomlocations.
Skinner and Grim were on the other side, attacking the backleg.
With another roar, the dragon stopped beating its wings,reaching out to slash at Bull and Krem. Krem blocked most of it with hisshield.
Astrid pulled back on her bow, calm settling over her as sheaimed. It was easy, reflexive. Taking a deep breath, she loosed her arrow, amoment later watching it sink into the edge of the dragon’s eye, just where shewanted it.
It reared back, screeching. Bull risked enough to look back ather and grin before charging forward, Krem right behind him. The dragon sent aburst of flame towards Bull, but luckily the amulet the Inquisitor had sendprevented the worst of the damage.
It seemed like hours, but they finally weakened the dragonenough. With a final swing of Bull’s axe, the dragon fell, sending a tremorthrough the ground.
“Taarsidath-an halsaam!” Bull bellowed in victory. Astrid justsmirked, hopping down from her perch to get closer. The rest of the Chargersjoined, high-fiving and cheering. A couple slapped her back as she walked byand she returned the favor, even she couldn’t keep a smile from her face. WhenBull saw her, he grinned. “Still think I’m slow?”
She punched him. “Reflexes still need work.”
He just gave a belly-laugh, “Oh, I will show you how good myreflexes are…” His grin took on a suggestive edge, his eyes burning her with theirintensity.
“You can fucking try.” She arched her brow in challenge.
In response, he picked her up, kissing her hungrily, she instinctivelywrapping her legs around him, reaching up to grasp his horns.
“Get a room!” Krem shouted, followed by the other Charger’s playfullyribbing on them.
“Every fucking time we kill a dragon!” One of them yelled.
Bull laughed and set Astrid back down. “Chargers! Let’s openthe casks!”
A cheer went up.
A celebration was in order, but the look Bull gave her leftlittle doubt that they would pick up where they left off.
She couldn’t wait.
**
Ale gone, whiskey gone, half the Chargers passed out. It was agood celebration that they mightremember in the morning.
Astrid was pleasantly buzzed, having kept up drink for drinkwith Bull, her cheeks flushed.
She looked around their rag-tag group, a group that she was begrudginglycoming to care about. Krem, Dalish, Skinner, Rocky, Stitches, Grim… She had toshake her head at that thought. The last one she cared about was Malika…fuckdamn, she hadn’t thought about her in ages, must be the whiskey.
And then there was Bull. The Iron Bull. The best fuckingpartner she could ask for…the best fuckingpartner, too.
His eye was trained on his people, protecting them even intheir revelry.
Without her normal inhibitions, she found herself smiling atthe sight. Once she realized, she frowned, clenching her jaw. Her thoughts wereverging into dangerous territory.
Iron Bull. A man who could kill a dragon, but was secretly,not-so-secretly the biggest softy she had ever met. How he ever survived the Qun…
She rubbed her brow, trying to force her thoughts away, butthey kept circling back to him, to Bull. His raw strength with an axe, hismuscles, his technique…
His love of hot chocolate, the way his eye would crinkle upwhen he laughs, his unerring protective nature, the way he looked at her and madeher feel like she mattered…
FUCK!
She gritted her teeth, trying to fight away the feelings thatwere building. Cursed, traitorous feelings.
“Your tent or mine?” Bull’s voice broke through, her eyesmeeting his. There was desire there, oh yes, but there was care, affection…love?
Fuck.
The way he saw though her, giving her just what she needed,but never asking for more than she was willing to give…Paragon’s asses, did she…?
“Mine,” she said, standing up and stretching, not wanting himto see her face, to see her realization.
She loved him. For whatever the fuck that meant, she loved Bull.
“Chargers! Sleep it off!” A sporadic bunch of mumbles answeredhim, Krem actually managing to raise a fist in response.
As she led the way to her tent, the thought kept echoingthrough her mind.
I love him. I love him. I love him.
What the fuck was shesupposed to do now?
#thank you for sending this!!!#Astrid Cadash#my writing#dragon age#au#mutuals!#my OC#the iron bull#dragon age inquisition#kaaras adaar#Bull made her have feelings!#I know this doesn't really respond to Kaaras...but then I send you Astrid's gift and reply#She isn't good with feelings#people caring for her what is that about?#but thank you truly for prompting me to write her#she says fuck a lot#iron bull x inquisitor
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JJBA Vento Aureo Reread Ch. 553-567


Previously, Bruno’s team was headed for Rome to meet with a mysterious ally who claimed he could do some trick with a Stand Arrow to make one of them strong enough to defeat the Boss. But when they got off their boat, they found the whole area was ravaged by a plague of flesh-eating mold.
To the surprise of no one, this is yet another enemy Stand. The Boss is getting desperate, because he’s running out of guys to send after Bruno’s group, and he doesn’t know just what it is they’re looking for in Rome. So he’s brought out two of his absolute worst henchmen ever, Cioccolata and Secco. Cioccolata used to be a doctor who vivisected his patients for funsies, and his Stand, Green Day spreads a deadly mold contagion. It’s not all that different from the death virus of Fugo’s Purple Haze, actually. The main difference is that this mold takes longer to kill you, but it can spread across a much wider range. The rule to it is that if you move below whatever level you started at, the mold begins to multiply and kill you. By the time Bruno’s team figures this out, Narancia and Trish are wounded, and have to sit out the rest of this Stand Battle in the turtle.

Before they drop out of the story completely, Narancia seems to imply that Trish is sweet on Bruno, so I guess this is as good a time as any to discuss Trish ships. To be sure, there’s a significant age gap between Trish an some of these guys, but I’m just dealing in hypotheticals here.
Starting out, Trish seemed to have more chemistry with Fugo than anyone else. She spoke to him first, asking him to take off his shirt, and then later he fell into her cleavage on the way to the Naples train station. Then he pretty much stopped doing anything and left the story entirely.
Abbacchio and Trish barely interacted at all, although he seemed impressed with her willingness to help them take down the Boss, and I think he dug her Stand one she manifested it. She was tore up over his death, but so was everybody.
Bruno... well, Narancia spells it out, although it’s anyone’s guess if he’s actually onto something. I suppose we could read this to mean that he’s kind of jealous, but again, anyone’s guess.
I’m flashing forward a little, but Mista was the last person Trish interacted with before the end of Part 5, and they swapped bodies, so that seems like it might lead to something, but maybe not. By the end of Part 5, Trish and Mista are celebrating together mostly by default. There aren’t a whole lot of other characters left standing.
Giorno seems like an obvious pick since he’s the main character, and they do have a lot of things in common. They’re the same age, they both have supervillain fathers who abandoned their mothers, and they’re both kind of hard to read. I suppose there’s two ways to read their relationship in Part 5. You can either take their eventual romance as a given, which is why it never sees much explict development, or you can assume that Araki is purposely inverting the trope. The hero not only doesn’t get the girl, he doesn’t even appear to be trying to get the girl.
I think that ambiguity is intentional, unless Araki honestly couldn’t decide what he wanted to do with Trish. There’s romantic potential in her interactions with most of the other main characters, but it’s indefinite enough to make you wonder. I should probably revisit this topic when I get to the end.

Cioccolata’s partner is Secco, one of his former patients who apparently became his disciple in madness. Secco’s Stand, Oasis, allows him to move through the ground as if it were liquid, and he can also liquefy the ground to make things sink into it. In other words, he compliments Cioccolata’s mold perfectly, since their opponents can’t attack Secco without sinking to his level and succumbing to the mold. I’m not sure how Secco himself avoids infection, unless Cioccolata’s Stand can grant immunity to certain people.
Fortunately for the team, Bruno proves to be impervious to the mold, so he can beat Secco down long enough for them to get in a car and head for Rome. On the way, Giorno finally confronts Bruno about why he’s been so strange ever since he fought the Boss in Venice. The answer’s pretty simple: Bruno died in Venice, and he’s been dead ever since.

If I understand this right, Giorno used Gold Experience to put Bruno back together after the Boss killed him, but all he did was reanimate Bruno’s body. The story indicates that Bruno’s soul is still inhabiting his corpse, so it’s really Bruno, and not some new life force created by Gold Experience.
What I don’t get is why Bruno’s body still works despite having no pulse. Gold Experience turns inanimate objects into living things, so if Giorno did unwittingly reanimate a corpse, shouldn’t it be a perfect replica of a live person?
The more important point to this moment is that Bruno’s only sticking out the rest of this mission by sheer force of will. He’ll succumb to true death sooner or later, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Now that Giorno knows this, he’s taking one step closer to actually leading the team, and not just the subtle soft leadership he’s been demonstrating until now.
On the flipside, the Boss has essentially rejected any pretense of leadership when he brought Cioccolata and Secco into this matter. By his own admission, he finds them reprehensible, because they kill for sheer pleasure, rather than to achieve any practical goal. But the Boss kept them around anyway just in case he needed their brand of mayhem, and now’s the time. Since he doesn’t know why Giorno and Bruno are going to Rome he’s basically given Cioccolata free reign to destroy the entire city with his mold plague.

This is important, because, as Bruno points out, the Boss has Passione members and business interests in Rome. Setting aside the huge civilian death toll, this course of action will hurt the Boss as well. It might even cripple Passione as an organization for all we know. Think about it: this whole conflict has removed a lot of Stand Users from the gang, either by death or betrayal. The Execution Team is dead, Polpo’s dead, Carne, Squalo, and Tiziano are all dead. Any Passione operatives in Rome are likely to die as well. Presumably, the Boss would have to kill Cioccolata and Secco to end their rampage. All to protect the Boss’s identity. Yeah, he might be able to rebuild from all this, but what’s the point?
Symbolically, this is the moment when Giorno dethrones the Boss, not because he’s beaten the Boss, or because his dream has prevailed, but because he’s the only one alive who can take charge of this chaos and set things right.

But he won’t do it alone...

Cioccolata’s big counterattack involves using a helicopter to spread his mold, but Giorno combines his powers with Mista’s to turn bullets into trees, which grow into a building and catch the chopper. Meanwhile, Bruno takes on Secco by himself, since he’s the only one who can fight him without worrying about the mold. Mista figures he’s got Cioccolata dead to rights, since all he has to do is fire into the helicopter and let Sex Pistols kick the bullets around until they hit him. But when he tries this, the Sex Pistols get ambushed somehow. With Mista taken down, Giorno has to board the helicopter to figure this out for himself.

Turns out Cioccolata can disassemble his own boddy and use his Stand to keep the pieces alive. Also, Green Day can make the pieces move independently of each other and... yeah, this is pretty fucked up right here. The advantage to all of this is that Cioccolata could hide in places a whole human being couldn’t, allowing him to set this trap. Fortunately for Giorno, one of Mista’s Sex Pistols still works, and it kicks a bullet through his hand, which Gold Experience turns into a branch, which he uses to keep from falling from the helicopter, only Cioccolata uses his mold to kill the branch, but aha, that just turns it back into a bullet, which Giorno kicks into the chopper blades, causing it to richochet perfectly into Cioccolata’s head, cancelling his Stand. Or something.

Giorno thinks Cioccolata is just playing possum though, I guess because he survived taking himself apart a few minutes ago. After all, if Cioccolata can just jump out of the chopper, he can turn his Stand back on and start using his mold again.

Sure enough, Cioccolata was laying another trap, except Giorno had already set one of his own, as he turned that bullet he had already turned into a branch into a beetle egg.

Giorno was just talking to him to buy time for the beetle to tear through Cioccolata’s head. How is David Productons going too animate any of this? Will they just cover Cioccolata’s entire body with a black blot, like they did whenever Jotaro was smoking? Anyway, Giorno punches Cioccolata for like seven pages and then tosses him into a nearby garbage truck.

Meanwhile, Bruno’s been fighting Secco, but unfortunately, Cioccolata called Secco right before he died and told him that he overheard one of the Sex Pistols blabbing about the Coliseum. So now Bruno not only has to beat Secco, but he has to stop him from going to the Coliseum and killing his contact.

Perhaps appropriately, this is when we find out that Bruno’s contact is Jean Pierre Polnareff from Part 3, and he’s clearly in no condition to defend himself against someone like Secco, so it really is up to Bruno to save him. So Bruno bursts a tire right in Secco’s face, bursting his eardrums. At first, Secco doesn’t see this as a problem, but when he tries to find Bruno...

“Tee-hee! Did someone call for an ambulence? :3c ”

Oasis is pretty friggin’ unbeatable, but it’s only any good if Secco can navigate while he’s swimming through the ground, and he can only do that by echolocation. With his hearing damaged, he can’t find his way, and that leaves him exposed above ground.

Desperate, Secco grabs a hostage, who ironically turns out to be Doppio, the Boss’s other personality. Bruno defeats Secco easily, though, and I guess he ends up in the same garbage truck as Cioccolata. This leaves Bruno and Doppio alone together.

Only Bruno has no idea who he’s talking to, and he tells Doppio exactly where he’s going. Whoops.
#jojo's bizarre adventure#vento aureo#vento aureo reread#spoilers#giorno giovanna#trish una#bruno buccellati
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Fate and Phantasms #140: Vlad III (Extra)
Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the cooking daddy himself, Vlad III! This build will combine the Brute Fighter and Undead Warlock to create an unstoppable juggernaut who strikes fear into the hearts of his enemies. (Also spears. He strikes spears into the heart of his enemies.)
Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!
Next up: Christmas... 2!
Race and Background
Unlike your other self, you’re still a Human of the variant variety, giving you +1 Charisma and +1 Wisdom. Sometimes will is a wisdom save, sometimes its a charisma save, so you’ll be good with both. You also get proficiency with Intimidation because duh, and you get the Piercer feat. This lets you re-roll a die of piercing damage once per turn, and critical hits get an extra die of damage. It also gives you +1 Strength.
Like a lot of other servants, you’re a Noble. (If you’re sick of this background, yell at history for only focusing on rich people.) This gives you proficiency with History and Persuasion skills.
Ability Scores
“Vlad the Impaler is somewhat terrifying” is a true statement in the sense of “The ocean’s kinda damp.” So make Charisma your highest stat for the highest intimidation bonus. It also takes a surprising amount of force to turn people into shish kebabs, so make sure your Strength is also pretty high. Third on the list of Just Vlad Things is Wisdom for an unbreakable will. It’s sad these couldn’t all be 20s, but we can fix that a little while in. You can’t wage horrific amounts of bloodshed on the populace if you get tired easily, so Constitution comes a bit later. Your Intelligence isn’t great- you’re a noble so it’s not like you’d have a bad education, we just needed other stuff more. Finally, dump Dexterity. Those spikes are cool, but they make it super easy to get caught on stuff.
Class Levels
1. Fighter 1: Unsurprisingly, someone with the name “the Impaler” is pretty good with stabbing people. As a fighter, you get proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as the Athletics and Survival skills.
Your Defense fighting style gives you +1 AC, and your Second Wind lets you heal yourself as a bonus action once per short rest. The secret to vigilance is knowing when to take a break.
2. Fighter 2: Thanks to Action Surge, you can now add an extra action to your turn once per short rest. The second secret of vigilance is knowing when to bug out and stab people.
3. Fighter 3: Not gonna lie, despite your upbringing you’re still kind of a brute. The good news is this lets you use Brute Force to shove your spear even further in, dealing 1d4 extra damage with all weapon attacks. This die will grow as you level up.
4. Fighter 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Heavy Armor Master feat, rounding up your strength and reducing all nonmagical physical damage you take by 3. The third secret of vigilance is not getting hurt. Just don’t do it! It’s that easy.
5. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack each attack action, letting you cut through enemies faster than we’re cutting through these levels!
6. Warlock 1: Despite the update to your looks, you’re still getting some of your power from the legend of Dracula, making you an undead warlock. This gives you a Form of Dread that you can transform into for one minute. While transformed you gain temporary HP, once per turn you can force a wisdom save on a creature, frightening it if it fails, and you are immune to being frightened. You can use this a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus per long rest. Look, you are a pretty scary guy.
Speaking of things that recharge on long rests, there’s nothing else.
But there are your Spells, which you cast with Charisma and have spell slots that recharge on short rests. Eldritch Blast and Sword Burst are decent enough substitutes for weapons, as long as you don’t mind them doing force damage. You can also Cause Fear to freak out people even more, and Protection from Evil and Good will help you if you get in too deep with the bigger fish. Or if your bosses try giving you a hard time.
7. Fighter 6: Use this ASI to bump up your Strength for more hitting things. Hitting things is good.
8. Fighter 7: Seventh level brutes get Brutish Durability, letting you add 1d6 to all your saves. In addition, if adding this to a death save increases it past 20, it counts as a natural 20. It’s not quite vampirism but hey, at least you’re not from Ixalan.
9. Fighter 8: Another ASI, another feat! Grab the Resilient feat to get proficiency with Wisdom saves, and also add 1 to your wisdom score. Mind control’s no joke. Except to you, because you’re really good at ignoring it.
10. Fighter 9: Making things even more unfair for your saves, this level makes you Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once per long rest.
11. Warlock 2: Bouncing back to warlock for a bit more goodies. Eldritch Invocations customize your vampire experience, with Devil’s Sight giving you darkvision for your dumb human eyes and Agonizing Blast making your eldritch spears a bit more of a match for the real ones.
You can also cast Comprehend Languages, because despite being a medieval warlord you can still go to modern Japan and not be horribly confused.
12. Fighter 10: Tenth level brutes get a larger damage increase to their brute force, which now deals 1d6 damage. Your new Superior Technique also lets you make a Menacing Strike once per short rest, using a d6 as your superiority die. Hit somebody, and then they have to make a wisdom save (dc 8+proficiency+strength modifier) or they’re frightened of you for a round.
Have I mentioned you’re scary yet? You’re scary yet.
13. Fighter 11: Eleventh level fighters get another Extra Attack each action. Now you can kill enemies almost as quickly as describing what extra attack does got old.
14. Fighter 12: Last feat, I promise. Use this ASI to grab the Chef feat, rounding out your wisdom and making you a true cooking daddy. This gives you proficiency with cook’s utensils, and as part of a short rest you can cook for the party. This gives 4 plus your proficiency bonus creatures an additional 1d8 hit points when they use their hit dice to heal. Also over the course of an hour or after a long rest, you can cook your proficiency bonus in treats. Creatures can eat a treat as a bonus action to gain some temporary hp.
15. Fighter 13: Another use of Indomitable per long rest? Why, that’s almost as unique as this level description!
16. Fighter 14: Bump up your Constitution for some more HP. Not dying- it’s what’s for dinner.
17. Fighter 15: Fifteenth level brutes learn how to land Devastating Criticals, dealing your fighter level in extra damage when you score a critical hit on a creature.
You may remember that this is the same thing that mercy monk had, and it’s still just as terrifying here.
18. Fighter 16: Use your last ASI to bump your Charisma up a bit, making you even scarier and also more magical.
19. Fighter 17: Another Action Surge per short rest, and another Indomitable per long rest. I don’t think fighter is a simple class, but I absolutely see why people would think that, seeing as they don’t get any new abilities past 9th level.
20. Fighter 18: Your capstone level makes you a Survivor. You’re not gon’ give up, and you’re not gon’ stop. This also means you gain HP each turn as long as you’re bloodied and not at 0 HP. You gain 5 plus your constitution modifier each turn.
Pros:
You’ve got two of the big three saves (wisdom and charisma) down pat, with each save at least 1d20+1d6+9, and indomitable backing you up. God help your enemies if you’ve got a paladin in the same party, because by that point you’re probably just immune to charms.
On top of that, you deal solid damage, dealing an almost critical hit each turn and even more when you do land a nat 20. Adding your level to your damage was scary on Martha, and it’s still scary here.
You have over 150 hp, an AC of 20, and constant healing. Basically, you can deal tons of damage, and are very hard to kill in the interim.
Cons:
Despite excelling at the other two saves of the big three, we dumped dexterity, and even all your save nonsense can’t fix a -1 modifier. Also, good luck going anywhere unnoticed.
Eldritch Blast is nice and all, but most of your damage is non-magical, meaning actually fighting those demons you’ve got your eye on will be an issue if you’ve got a stingy DM.
Not going to lie, the second the undead get involved, your options for joining parties gets a bit slimmer. Of course there’s nothing stopping you from putting Vlad in your game as an NPC, but it’s something to keep in mind as a player. (Of course this only made the list because picking weaknesses was pretty hard, but it still counts dammit.)
#Fate Grand Order#D&D 5e#FGO#Vlad III#Fate and Phantasms#Fighter#Warlock#I love making fighters their levels go by so much faster.
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Oddworld: Conar's Ambition, Chapter 3, Draft 1
“The plan, right,” Conar nodded. “So, first things first… we should… no, I should go back to my place and get some of my stuff. Woulda only slowed your escape down, y’see.”
“Where d’ya wanna meet me, then?”
“Ah, right, you gotta do some hidn’ too…” Conar said, rubbing his chin. “So, I don’t think there’ll be an issue if you hang out in the cab. Don’t think anyone’ll be comin’ out of the apartment at this time of night.”
It was a bit awkward on the ride back to Conar’s home. The cab driver was very pointedly trying not to make eye contact with either passenger as he checked his mirrors. It wasn’t every day he saw a Slig and a Mudokon in the same cab. And he was taking him into the Slig part of town? Couldn’t be anything good, and it would only be worse if he said anything, he was sure.
Finally, after that long silence, they were nearing the apartment complex.
Conar spoke up: “Hey, keep the cab ‘ere. My ‘friend’ and I are gonna be goin’ for a ride after this…”
He added a sinister chuckle, for effect. The driver gulped, slowly nodding.
“Make sure he plays nice. If I hear he left or told ya why he’s with me, well…”
He let the driver’s imagination fill the rest in as he gently picked his blunderbuss up, keeping the muzzle pointed away from him – coincidentally pointed in the direction of either Mudokon.
Before long, he was in his apartment again. He’d still have to be quick; him signing Slim out was on record, and he was sure someone had nothing better to do than to look at those logs every hour on the hour. That guy was surely pathetic, but he was going to be a serious problem. As such, Conar was just going to get the essentials. That filthy old pillowcase would have to do for a bag to fill with ammo, snack foods, canned drinks, liquor, cigarettes, a lighter, and a blanket he had some extra Moolah crammed into.
He got some odd looks on his way out, but no one stopped him. He himself stopped at the exit, though, when he saw a couple of other Sligs knocking on the cab’s door. “Knocking” might have been to soft a word for their violent bashing on the vehicle.
“What’s the holdup?!” one demanded. “Drop the towel boy and get us to the bar already!”
The other, meanwhile, was moving to the other side, knocking right on the driver’s window.
“Your boss’ll hear about this!” he shouted to the ever-shrinking Mudokon.
“W-waitin’ for someone….” The driver managed.
“Oh, not about this,” the Slig said, holding up his T2 Fully Automatic. “Property damage. I know your boss won’t like that, even if you live…”
A gunshot rang out, and he fell backwards. The other Slig turned around to see Conar with a smoking Blunderbuss.
“Hands off,” Conar said, simply. “I got places to be.”
The other Slig saw many a glowing red lens look out from the windows of the building. There was the occasional laugh or cheer as they saw a standoff about to happen. He took their cue, and produced his own pistol, ready for a fight. Oh, this was going to be fun!
The two of them stared, daring the other to make a move. Their guns stayed pointed at the other as they themselves moved to cover.
The other Slig shot first, causing Conar to sprint to a nearby chunk of concrete.
Once covered, he didn’t hesitate to return fire. The cab was covered in bullet-shaped dents quickly. Both Mudokons had long since ducked out of sight of the windows, thankfully.
His foe moved to the front of the car, crouching just enough so he could still aim.
A lucky shot! A bullet landed right in one of the exposed joints of Conar’s Pants. He nearly tipped over from the impact; he had to frantically hop and drag that leg behind cover. Carefully leaning, he returned fire, creating plenty of holes in the front of the cab and shattering one of the windows.
He could hear the jeers above him, but chose to ignore them, instead unloading his gun into his pillowcase.
“Hey!” one of the spectators shouted. “Idiot’s just unloading! Why the hell’d he do that?!”
Conar could hear the whirring and thumping from mechanical legs on the other side of the rubble he was hiding behind. Bastard was taking his time, too. Good.
He was saving a scrab-caliber shattershot for a time just like this, and he was hoping he would have enough time to load it.
“You think you can mess with me? I’ll turn you into soup before you can get to Mama Skillya!”
Finally found it. Just to get it in…
“Y’all want to see some guts? Do ya? Yeah, ya do! Well, watch this!”
The footsteps quickened, and Conar moved to meet him. Damn his bad leg; he couldn’t do much more than pivot. He could only hop awkwardly, which of course everyone watching found hilarious.
“Gotcha!”
BANG!
The smoke wasn’t clearing from Conar’s blunderbuss anytime soon, so he set it aside to see… well, not much. The other Slig’s Pants were little more than scrap metal, and the less said about the parking lot’s new paintjob, the better.
The onlookers were silent for a moment. Then they burst into laughter, cheering at the surprise resolution to the battle.
Conar shook his head, taking a look at his damaged leg. He could just about pull the slug out of that joint, thankfully, but he’d probably need to reboot the thing. Not here, though; once they stopped applauding the performance, there was bound to be someone in the audience who’d call security or take matters into their own hands. In fact, a couple of Sligs were already heading back in, whether to reach a gun or a phone.
He limped over to the cab, opening the door just enough to clamber in. He was greeted by two shaking Mudokons that looked about ready to leap out as he got in.
“Not gonna be long before we get jumped again,” he said, knocking on the back of the driver’s seat, “so you’re gonna step on it, capisce?”
The green Mudokon whimpered, but sat back up, getting the cab back into gear. It sputtered to life, but he noticed a lot of steam coming out of the bullet holes in the front, and the various dials indicating fuel, heat, and power were going haywire.
He had no time to worry about this, though; between the agitated Slig in his backseat and the threat of more on the way, he floored it, nearly crashing into a street light as he did so. He didn’t bother asking where they were going next; he was just focused on getting the hell awayfrom this scene.
They could all hear bangs from behind, as a few Sligs had come out too late, toting pistols and blunderbusses. They fired down the street, and the back windshield was obliterated in seconds. Both passengers ducked reflexively, and Conar took his bag and started reloading his own gun.
Slim wasn’t sure what he could do other than stay out of the way, so he settled for huddling around the corner while Conar started returning fire. It was just as well; they could only be shot at for a few seconds before the driver swerved to the right, knocking another cab aside as he did so. Slig and Mud tumble to the side; Slim had to duck so the hunk of metal that was the Slig Pants didn’t crush his head.
He instinctively grabbed his hat, placing it haphazardly on his head before turning back and seeing nothing attached to the legs. Disturbingly, they seemed to be struggling to stand back up, but it was impossible with the still-twitchy leg.
He looked, and saw Conar’s tail move in well-practiced motions while he watched out the back window. He was using his large forearms to keep himself hanging over the seat, but muscle memory kept his tail moving as if it was trying to control his legs. His blunderbuss was resting uneasily on the rear tray, occasionally sliding one way or the other as the driver made the occasional hard turn.
Finally, the shouting and shooting they had turned away from faded into the more typical shouting and shooting of late night in a Slig-filled district. Conar relaxed, slumping back down to the seat.
“Man,” he sighed. “If they’d’a caught up to us, I wouldn’t’a been been able to keep shootin’, you know?”
“What’re you talkin’ about?” Slim asked. “You still got your arms, right?”
“Yeah, obviously,” Conar said, while shimmying his tail back into his Pants. “That don’t mean nothin’ though. It’s like they said at the Barracks: a Slig without Pants ain’t worth the powder in his gun…”
Slim didn’t understand, but he just shook his head. They’d had quite a night already; he wasn’t about to press a stressed Slig.
“So, where are we going?”
Conar thought about it.
“First off, we gotta find a place we can lay low. I hear it’s pretty easy to hang out at Clunk’s, so we’ll try there first.”
“Might be good to get some parts or a new cab,” the driver muttered. “Gonna take a licking either way…”
Suddenly, there was a loud bang! Not like a gunshot, but like a wild Scrab rammed into the front of the car with a sledgehammer in its mouth. White smoke billowed out of the front, and it wasn’t long before the windshield was completely obscured. Some of it even got into the vents, causing the driver to gag and Slim to cover his mouth.
“Wimps,” Conar said, rolling his eyes.
Still, this would definitely be a problem; if the driver thought he was having a hard time breathing, he was going to have an even harder time seeing where they were going. What was worse, he was starting to swerve a little. It was only a matter of time before they crashed into something unseen, and Conar doubted he could get more help even if they survived.
He wasn’t sure what to do. He was trained for Slog Hut security, not emergency cab repair. Unless the hood needed more bullet holes, he couldn’t think of anything to do. He settled on bashing the window with the butt of his gun. At the very least, he could try to air the place out for the Mudokons in his service. Problem was, it was going to take several hits for one reinforced window to crack enough for him to puncture; apparently they accounted for Slig property damage.
Slim, on the other hand, grabbed the driver, pulling him away from the wheel and the brunt of the smoke. While the driver gasped and filled his lungs with less-polluted air, Slim looked down at the controls. A wheel used for steering, obviously, but also several levers on the driver-side door. He clambered in, holding his breath while trying to find any kind of label or anything. He needed a way to brake, or at least open the doors. Maybe this ripcord would do it…
A loud blare confirmed that, no, it would not.
A loud crash behind him made him turn around; Conar was panting, the butt of his gun hanging outside what remained of the sealed window. As he caught his breath, he half-heartedly knocked the remaining shards out. Somewhat clean air was available, for most of the smog was going over the cab.
“Hey, get the driver out there!” Slim shouted.
He played with the levers some more, but he could still wince while Conar carelessly yanked the gasping and wheezing Mudonkon out of his seat. He could hear the sounds of him crashing around in the backseat before Conar shoved his poor head out of the window. At least the gasps were getting to be less ragged and more just a result of the normal stress of being under a Slig’s thumb.
The driver ordinarily wouldn’t dream of trying to resist when a Slig manhandled him, but it was either that or get decapitated by an incoming Mudokon Pops sign. He leaped back, knocking Conar back with him.
“What the hell was that?!” Conar cried, lifting himself back up, no easy task with a bad leg.
“S-sorry, sir, it was that or losin’ my head…” the driver winced, fully expecting Conar to lay into him. He looked up after a few seconds. Conar… wasn’t going to beat him senseless for that?
Instead, the Slig was looking over at Slim, who was desperately trying to steer right while trying to figure out how to stop. The screeches of the signs scraping against the cab lessened, but they were still going forward.
“All right, you got enough air?” Conar finally asked the driver. Barely waiting for a nod, he pointed towards the driver’s seat. “Then get this thing stopped somewhere!”
The driver saw Slim playing with the controls, desperately trying to find a way to shut it all down. Without a second thought, he dragged the inexperienced Mud back into the backseat, then hopped back into his own chair.
The driver was quick to push two of the levers forward, and then throttle the middle lever back and forth at least five times. The wheels screeched, and all of them could feel the cab skid, slowing down to a halt. They grunted as it violently rocked forward, before it finally settled into a complete stop.
They sat there silently for a moment, and then the driver carefully stepped out. His two passengers followed seconds later. After clearing the smoke from their faces, they found they were on some relatively quiet back street. They could still hear the sounds of Slig residence – those being gunfire, explosions, and heavy implements banging against metal – but it was much calmer here. A lone Slig chuckled at the scene before him, not moving from his recline against the wall as he took another drag from his cheap Lungbuster.
The driver took his cap off, scratching his head. If he couldn’t figure something out soon, he was screwed. He’d already be in hot water for the damages to the car, but failing to get a passenger to his destination? His back was getting bruises just thinking about the consequences in store for him.
There wasn’t much else he could do, so he took the key out of his pouch and popped the hood open. He ducked under the expected burst of smoke, then took a look inside, keeping his cap over his mouth as he did so.
Conar, meanwhile, limped over to the trunk, hoisting himself to sit there. He wriggled and shook, and an outsider would have thought he was having trouble staying inside his Pants while trying to sleep. In reality, though, he was maneuvering his tail to reach the off switch. While he was technically supposed to get out before doing that, he found it’s better to look lazy than to look vulnerable, so he let his legs slump in front of him.
While he waited for his legs to boot back up, Slim sat up next to him. He didn’t know a thing about cab repair, either. What could he do for the poor sap?
“…So, how we gonna get to that Clunk guy?” he asked, looking at Conar.
“Well, uh…”
Conar realized he had no idea how to navigate the world outside, instead relying on cab drivers and other forms of public transportation. Hell, he had no idea how to get to his Slog Hut again if he wanted to.
“We just gotta get our bearings, then we can get this piece o’ crap out of here!”
Slim noticed Conar’s leg twitching a little, and heard the exhaust pipe sputter.
“Wonder if that poor driver guy has a map or something.”
Conar nodded.
“Yeah, but I don’t think they’ll let you into the scrapyard without… good reason…”
He perked up, looking at the smoking pile of metal they were sitting on.
“Actually, that ain’t gonna be a problem, now, is it?”
He waited as his Pants sputtered to life, then hopped off and walked back around to the driver.
“You there!” he hollered, a little more loudly than needed. “You got a name?”
“Mmm… Mark, sir,” the driver sighed, already steeling himself for his “motivation”.
“Well, Mark, I got a new job for ya. Quit messing with that thing; we’re taking it to Clunk’s.”
“Huh?” Mark coughed, before he was dragged out of the smoke.
“Get pushing,” Conar elaborated, shoving Mark onto the back of the car. “Get Slim there to help you. Lemme know when I gotta turn the wheel or whatever.”
Like any Mudokon, Mark wasn’t raised to back talk any Slig, so he simply nodded and got into position. Slim gave Conar an odd look, but slid down and got next to Mark, ready to go forward.
Since the rear window was shot out, Conar had an unimpeded view of his propulsion.
Conar’s Blunderbuss faced them, purely for effect. It needed to be clear to anyone watching that he was in charge, and no one would question a Slig threatening a couple of Mudokons into doing his will.
“Get going! I want us there by morning!”
Both Mudokons grunted, pushing forward with all their might. They heaved, trying again, but nothing happened.
“What gives?!” Conar demanded, expression unreadable past his visor and tentacles. “I told ya to move the cab!”
Mark let go of the trunk, walking over to the driver’s side. He opened the door and casually adjusted the levers. This time, all three were pulled back, with no other adjustment. Conar could hear the hiss of some mechanism relax.
“Right,” he nodded. “Now get back there, get us moving, and tell me where to turn.”
He shut the door, getting back into his enforcing position, and the three of them began the slow trip to the scrapyard.
Being quite used to the laughter of onlooking Sligs, no one paid them any mind. Conar did wish he could come out and get them to shove it, but one altercation was enough for one night. Besides, he could tell the two Muds weren’t happy about having to shove the cab onwards; diverting attention from them, who knows what could happen?
He had to admit, though, his gun arm was getting tired. He obviously wouldn’t say it, but he was grateful when Mark told him to turn one way or the other – it meant he could put his firearm down for a few precious seconds to turn the wheel. The smoke was dissipating a small amount, but it was still hard to see, and the chumps he had in his charge right now were still coughing every so often, even though they were only getting small whiffs of it. He still didn’t understand that; sure, it stank a little bit, but it wasn’t anything awful.
By dawn, the car’s movement had started to slow down, the two Mudokons panting more, leaning against the vehicle more than pushing it forward. Conar’s arm was starting to shake.
By the time Conar’s shift would have started, the car was barely moving, the Mudokons slumped over the trunk, barely kicking it forward. Conar’s arm had long since given up, and was now dangling over the seat, barely holding onto his gun.
Slim barely had enough air in him to ask “How… much… further…?”
“I… don’tevenknow…” Mark replied, gasping for breath. “I... I think it’s…”
“Is that it right there?” Conar asked, trying to peer through the windshield. He saw something large, rusted, and cluttered on the left side, but the glass was still too fogged up to tell. The fact that he was still using his slightly out-of-date visor wasn’t doing him any favors, either.
“It is!” Slim said, perking up.
The old metal signage on top of the old metal wall read “C L N K ‘ Z”. It looked like it was partially eaten by rust, bullets, and desperate Fleeches, but it was still obvious this was the place.
As the two Mudokons pushed towards their destination with increased vigor, Conar opened the door and hopped out, stumbling a little as he did so but keeping a good grip on his Pants. He only had to take a few steps to slam the door shut, then it was just a matter of watching the cab be pushed in front of him, then getting into a well-practiced position behind his charges. It was a position that not only let him keep an eye on both effortlessly, but emphasized the fact that he was the one in power, if being the one with the gun wasn’t enough.
In just a few minutes’ time, they were at the gate. At the guard booth, they could see a Slig, snoozing at the control panel. A cap covered his eyes, and a magazine with some impressive war gear on the cover draped his torso.
The three of them watched this sorry sight for a moment, the Conar fired into the air.
“HEY! Let us in!”
The snoring guard started up slowly, pushing his cap onto his head properly while his magazine slipped down out of sight.
“Eh? Oh, uh, you got a pass or ticket?”
Conar didn’t skip a beat before slapping the car meaningfully.
“Yeah, no, smartass. If ya wanna scrap that thing, you’re gonna need a ticket from Clunk. If we can repair it, it ain’t goin’ in the yard, you got it?”
To make his point, the guard reached under his table, pulling out a hand cannon with a huge muzzle and a laser sight. He didn’t point it at them, but the point was quite clear; a simple Blunderbuss wouldn’t be enough.
“Right, I getcha,” Conar replied, after a moment of awe. “Where do we go for that?”
“Looks like you passed it,” the guard laughed, motioning to a direction behind them. The trio turned around to see a dirty grey garage, with “CLUNKZ” painted on each door in plain black lettering. Conar walked closer to inspect, trusting the other Slig to keep the Mudokons in line. They were going to be closed for a few hours, but there were some vacant parking spots.
He shouted out for the Muds to push the cab back over to a space. It only took ten minutes of keeping his Blunderbuss raised in the air with one hand and waving in the vague direction the cab should go in with the other, but he was able to get his lackeys to push it squarely into one and a half parking spots.
All they could do was wait until the crew arrived. Conar wanted to just sit back and have a smoke, but with a superior Slig looking their way, he wasn’t sure he could get away with such lackluster supervision. He heard all about what happened to nice Sligs.
“Stop that smoke!” he demanded, shoving Mark forward. “It’s already a wreck!”
Slim glared at him, but walked over, trying to help the driver in any way he could. This mostly meant batting his hat against the hood of the car.
As the two of them got to work, Conar spotted an Expresso machine. It was a long night; he needed a pick-me-up. One spent moolah later, and he felt ready to take the morning on.
He watched them work, occasionally barking an order or two, but they were making some good progress. Slim had graduated from haplessly batting at the smoke to handing Mark the appropriate tools, and helping hold engine parts in place. Conar had to admit he was impressed; he wasn’t even expecting Mark to know anything about this. After all, they just had to look busy to try and shake any suspicion.
Speaking of which, was anyone watching them? He looked around; no one other than the guard seemed to be around at this time of day, and he was starting to nod off again.
“Right,” Conar finally said, “that should be enough. Tighten the screws and, erm, cross the wires and close ‘er up!”
Slim and Mark rolled their eyes (not to Conar’s face, obviously) and slammed the hood shut. There was still a fine mist coming out of the holes in the cab, but it was nowhere near as severe as it was. The two looked at Conar, who nodded and invited them over to the shade. They both slumped against the wall, eyes closed and half-asleep.
Conar left them to rest, and walked back to the car. His bag of things was still somehow in one piece, under the backseat. Some of the cans were dented, and most of the snacks were crushed, but that wasn’t an issue. Might be a good idea to get his bag out; if this was going to be all he had, he’d rather have it secure.
As he took inventory, stepping back out of the wreck, he considered the cab. Sure, it was pretty broken, but if two hapless Mudokons could ease the smoke, he doubted it was in a condition that would let them enter the scrapyard. He wondered if they might have someone else tow it in, as well, but it was so close and he did already have Scrubs helping him, so that was probably a moot point. They might see that as him just trying to feel any kind of power, but that was just a bonus.
With that in mind, he was going to get this cab ready for a ticket. He looked towards the guard, who was sleeping, but Conar suspected it was a light sleep. He tried to pop the hood open, but he soon realized he had no idea how. The operations of this vehicle were more complex than “pull lever” or “push button”. There was an array of controls, and no visible way to open the thing.
As such, he instead crawled under, looking at the workings there.
Slim could hear the sound of metal clattering onto concrete. He didn’t even stir; when he had to sleep at the workplace, there were far louder noises than that. Hell, even at the Slugbite Motel, there was enough commotion to wake the dead. This was nothing; in fact, he was relishing the extra leg room.
Not even the scraping Conar was doing was interfering with anyone’s rest; seems everyone here was used to the lovely sound of machinery being destroyed. He grunted, hoping to tear a few holes with the butt of his gun. He knew he should have gotten that bayonet when he had the chance, but alas, he was stuck hoping to apply enough force to puncture a couple of important-looking pipes. No such luck, though he was able to make some nasty dents.
Oh, well. He was still able to take a few parts out. Some kind of oil was dripping out now, which told him that might be good. He slid out and took a look at the controls. The wheel didn’t look like it’d be coming off, but maybe if he pulled hard enough, those levers would snap right off. After a few moments of grunting and straining, two of them did.
Now, how could he hide the parts he liberated? If he kept them around, they might just put them back in, or worse, realize his sabotage. He looked around for a moment, before a far louder clatter from behind the wall caught his attention. The guard, he could see, kept on snoring. Of course!
Slim crept over, carrying an armful of car parts, and stopped at the gate. He began hurling them over the wall, one by one. Each one made noise, but nothing that was unlike the sounds already coming from within. In fact, some of their landings were drowned out by something already in there, whether it was some kind of machinery at work or some kind of junk falling over.
Sure enough, the guard was none the wiser, though the red goggles made it look like he was watching Conar the whole time.
Satisfied with his handiwork, he walked back to watch the Mudokons again. He could use some rest too – Expresso could only do so much – but more immediately, he really needed a cigarette. He stood next to the Vendo, happy to get a half-decent smoke after all this.
He watched the two Mudokons rest, and almost envied them. He still had to keep an eye out for Clunk’s employees, and they’d probably be asking for credentials. He just hoped he could flaunt enough authority that he wasn’t questioned too much; if he was caught sleeping next to a couple of Scrubs, that’d be impossible. It’s not like anyone would question a couple of Mudokons sleeping out here. No, they’d just get screamed at and roughed up a little. There wasn’t any telling what would become of him; he still remembered when Arkin was caught sleeping while on watch, and how he didn’t show up to work after that day. Seeing how he wasn’t even at work, he’d have to do a lot of showboating or sniveling, depending on who showed up.
Ah, well. Maybe he could sleep once they got in. Odd knows he’d need it.
#oddworld fic#oddworld#oddworld conar's ambition#draft 1#chapter 3#oddworld conars ambition full chapter
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Family affairs: Everyone learns they can’t go home again in Killing Eve S3
After being shot and left for dead by Villanelle, Eve (Sandra Oh) is now working in the kitchen of a Korean restaurant.
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She’s trying to patch up her marriage to Niko (Owen McDonnell), who is recovering from PTSD.
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Villanelle (Jodie Comer) on her wedding day, to a wealthy heiress in Spain.
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Villanelle’s former mentor, Dasha (Harriet Walter) shows up unannounced.
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Villanelle and Dasha have some issues to work through.
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Meanwhile, Eve’s former boss Carolyn (Fiona Shaw) isn’t in good favor at MI6.
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Another MI6 supervisor, Paul (Steve Pemberton) is vying for control of the division.
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Carolyn finds an ally in MI6 agent Mo Jafari (Raj Bajaj).
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Carolyn’s son, Kenny (Sean Delaney) has left MI6 and is now an investigative journalist with The Bitter Pill.
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Eve finds her own ally in Kenny’s new boss, Jamie (Danny Sapani)
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Yeah, Konstantin (Kim Bodnia) is still around, with his own agenda.
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Villanelle is less than pleased when Konstantin comes to call.
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Villanelle’s latest kill takes a page from Dasha’s old playbook.
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Villanelle wants to be a Keeper with The Twelve.
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Villanelle tracks down Eve during a London visit.
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A violent fight leads to a passionate kiss.
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Killing Eve burst onto the scene in 2018 to rave reviews, as viewers and critics alike were enthralled by the sexually charged cat-and-mouse game playing out between MI6 agent Eve (Sandra Oh) and expert assassin Villanelle (Jodie Comer). Alas, while S2 had some powerful moments, overall it lacked the same taut, addictive focus. But the series came back strong for its third season, fleshing out the story in some fresh, fascinating ways. Small wonder it’s already been renewed for a fourth season.
(A couple of major spoilers below for first six episodes of S3—we’ll give you a heads-up when we get there—but no major reveals for the final two episodes.)
As S3 opened, we learned that Eve survived being shot by Villanelle in the S2 finale (duh). She is keeping a low profile, working in the kitchen of a dumpling eatery in London, and living on a shocking amount of junk food in her dismal flat. Her long-suffering math teacher husband Niko (Owen McDonnell) also survived his encounter with Villanelle in S2 (although his fellow teacher, Gemma, did not). He is now an in-patient being treated for PTSD, and unreceptive to Eve’s efforts to reconnect.
Meanwhile, Villanelle is marrying a wealthy heiress, but her plans for a life of semi-retired luxury are upended by the appearance of Dasha (Harriet Walter), her former mentor from Russia. She gets sucked back into working for the shadowy organization known as the Twelve in exchange for a promotion to “Keeper” (aka upper management).
Eve’s former supervisor, Carolyn (Fiona Shaw), is out of favor at MI6, with an irritating rival named Paul (Steve Pemberton) challenging her former dominance over her division. Carolyn’s estranged son, Kenny (Sean Delaney), has left MI6 and is working as an investigative journalist for an outlet called The Bitter Pill, while her former Russian paramour, Konstantin (Kim Bodnia), is plotting to flee the country with his now-teenaged daughter, Irina (Yuli Lagodinsky).
In my review of the first S3 episode, I noted that the series faced a major challenge in its third installment, as viewers have come to expect shocking twists, thereby making it harder to achieve that element of surprise. “I trust that the writers and new showrunner Suzanne Heathcote have plenty of exciting twists and suspenseful moments in store for us [in S3],” I concluded. “But at some point, the basic premise—already wearing a bit thin—will run out of steam altogether. And then the real question becomes, where does the series go from there?”
Well, I’m pleased to report that S3 successfully met that challenge, mostly by changing the focus a bit. Keeping Eve and Villanelle (mostly) apart was a good creative strategy, even more so now that we’ve moved well beyond the “who’s the predator, who’s the prey” dynamic of S1. This third season is really about family, as every major character must grapple with the high personal cost of their decisions thus far.
(Warning: major spoilers begin below this gallery!)
Villanelle has that magic touch with children.
Gemma Whelan plays Carolyn’s daughter (and Kenny’s sister) Geraldine, who tries to repair her relationship with her mother.
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You may remember Konstantin’s strong-willed daughter, Irina (Yuli Lagodinsky) from S1.
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Niko moves back to Poland and his roots.
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Villanelle does a favor for Konstantin in exchange for information about her biological family.
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Meanwhile, Dasha has her sights set on Niko.
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Eve witnesses the attack.
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Niko survives, but rejects Eve.
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Eve confronts Dasha about the attack on Niko.
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Villanelle looks over family pictures with her brother Pyotr (Rob Feldman).
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She bonds with half-brother Bor’ka (Temirlan Blaev), who is obsessed with Elton John, at the local Harvest Festival.
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Her mother, Tatiana (Evgenia Dodina), insists she leave: “Do not bring your darkness into this house.”
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Villanelle’s revenge.
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Eve still clings to the futile hope that she can fix her marriage, unable to see just how damaged and shattered Niko has become after all she’s put him through by exposing him to the risks inherent in her job. Those risks are only heightened when Villanelle discovers she’s still alive and her obsession with Eve rekindles anew. But our favorite assassin is also confronting her own past in Dasha—the woman who turned her into the “perfect killing machine” and then betrayed her—and in a sudden desire to seek out the mother who abandoned her to an orphanage as a child.
Carolyn suffers a devastating loss when Kenny (allegedly) commits suicide by jumping off the roof of his office building at the end of the first episode. She’s a woman who has spent a lifetime suppressing any genuine emotion, who must now deal with her estranged touchy-feely daughter, Geraldine (Gemma Whelan), seeking to bond in their shared grief. Konstantin is trying to keep his daughter safe, only to realize she has her own inner darkness, exacerbated by his constant absence, the nature of his work, and Villanelle’s pernicious influence.
As always, all the performances are spectacular. Most of the attention has a focused on Oh and Comer, and rightly so. Villanelle is just as outrageously unpredictable and charming (in a deadly psychopath way) as ever, with even more spectacularly outré outfits. You never want to take your eyes off her; no wonder Eve remains obsessed.
But the supporting cast is every bit as strong, particularly Shaw and Bodnia, who quite possibly has the richest, most expressive laugh on TV these days. Among the new faces for S3, Harriet Walter is a sheer delight as Dasha, a chain-smoking, raspy-voiced former Olympic gymnast turned brutal assassin for the Twelve (and trainer of the the next generation of brutal female assassins). Game of Thrones fans will recognize Whelan from her days playing Yara Greyjoy, and she is given ample opportunity here to display her impressive range as an actress. And I loved seeing Lagodinsky return as Konstantin’s precocious, sarcastic, tough-minded daughter Irina.
The plotting is much tighter than last season—especially the final two episodes, as Eve pursues Villanelle by following the bodies piling up along the way—and while Villanelle’s kills don’t quite measure up to the macabre creativity she employed in the first two seasons, the S3 writers manage to pull off one very good twist. Concerned that Villanelle is once again behaving erratically because of her Eve obsession, the Twelve asks Dasha to intervene. Dasha decides to drive a wedge between the two women by killing Niko and framing Villanelle—making sure that Eve arrives at the Polish farm where he’s been working just in time to see it happen.
Eve tracks down Villanelle.
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Konstantin has plans to flee with Irina.
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Villanelle is a bad influence on Irina.
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Hélène (Camille Cottin) is a member of The Twelve.
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Villanelle does not hug.
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Yet another assignment, this time with fellow assassin Rhian (Alexandra Roach).
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Tensions are rising between Villanelle and Dasha.
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A hit at a golf resort in Aberdeen.
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Eve finds Dasha.
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Konstantin collapses at a train station.
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Paul might have his own plan in place.
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Carolyn faces off with Villanelle.
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Eve finds Villanelle.
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The happy couple, together again.
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It’s genuinely shocking in a way that Kenny’s death, while tragic, is not, thanks to some very clever editing. Unfortunately, the writers then blinked: Niko barely survives, although he (understandably) severs ties completely with Eve when she comes to see him in the hospital. I love the character, but it does undercut the power of the attack. I guess the writers are keeping their S4 options open where Eve and Niko are concerned.
By far the best single episode is “Are You From Pinner,” in which Villanelle visits her hometown in Russia and reconnects with her biological family, especially her brother Pyotr (Rob Feldman) and her coldly distant mother, Tatiana (Evgenia Dodina). Comer’s social awkwardness and discomfort with even small affections contrast sharply with the loud and boisterously enthusiastic family members. She tries to join in on a post-dinner singalong to Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock,” to comic effect, and watching her intensely compete in the dung-flinging competition at the local Harvest Festival—and her euphoria when she wins—is both hilarious and strangely touching.
Villanelle is trying so very hard to belong, even briefly bonding with her young half-brother Bor’ka (Temirlan Blaev), but she is far too damaged. And it is inevitable that the equally damaged Tatiana will reject her, telling her to leave and not bring her “darkness” into their house. Of course, Villanelle takes her revenge.
Killing Eve is based on Luke Jennings’ 2018 thriller Codename Villanelle, a compilation of four e-book novellas he published from 2014-2016. He published a sequel in 2019, Killing Eve: No Tomorrow, but despite Eve’s prominence in that title, Villanelle was clearly conceived as the central figure. So maybe it’s not surprising that we spend far more time on her backstory and family of origin issues than on Eve’s in S3, which makes Eve’s own journey back to Villanelle over the course of the season less impactful in comparison. The first two seasons did a better job balancing the focus between the two.
But that’s a minor quibble with an otherwise excellent season. These two women are clearly damaged in similar ways, with a shared social and emotional awkwardness, and morbid/violent bent. It’s just that Villanelle’s tendencies were encouraged and exploited via extreme physical and mental abuse, while Eve managed to channel her darker tendencies into her government work, and found some semblance of a family with Niko—at least until Villanelle burst into her life. But we still have little idea what Eve’s own early family life was like, or how it shaped her.
Here’s hoping that will be a major angle of exploration for S4, when Laura Neal replaces Heathcote as showrunner. Delving into how Eve and Villanelle have shaped and changed each other over three seasons would be another promising narrative vein to mine. Perhaps these two women can eventually find the families they have lost with each other, in their own uniquely twisted way.
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Review: Card Crusade
Playing Card Crusade made this reviewer crave pizza...because it called to mind a shared truism between the two. You know what they say about pizza, when it’s good, it’s great, when it’s ‘meh’ it’s still pretty good. Well the same goes for roguelikes, a crowded yet beloved genre for pretty much the same reason. Few of them will reach the heights of, say, Dream Quest or Slay the Spire, but that doesn’t mean the also-rans of the genre aren’t any good.
It does mean that their fun and inventiveness are relatively limited. Card Crusade is satisfying to play but also suffers from some mediocrities. It’s quick and light and the development cycle shows future promise, but as-is needs a skosh more variety and challenge to stand on its own merits. Criticism aside, I couldn’t put it down.
The setup: a tale as old as time, an adventurer travels ever-deeper into a ten-level dungeon to face a final boss. The map in Card Crusade is almost entirely cosmetic, with a simple tap sending the player character scurrying to that precise spot. Tap to open doors and treasure and wander too close to draw aggro of the hostile mobs, which will hound you down once provoked. Battles ensue, with a turn-based, energy-limited card system.
It’s standard fare, with block, energy and health resources working just as you’d expect, along with a pretty nice suite of status effects to spice things up. Each piece of equipment you pick up adds a card to your deck, which starts off trim but needs to bulk up quickly in order to power through the scaling difficulties of the lower levels. Early mobs of packs of dogs or swarms of horseflies are child’s play to clear, but later on Witches and Eyeball Monsters (I guess they can’t call them Beholders?) will present a stiff challenge.
Each room with an enemy also contains a chest, which presents one of two possible new cards. While there are unique classes with abilities and a class-specific starting card, the rest of the possible card pool is totally open. Anyone can use poison, magic, a crossbow, a ‘metallicize’ defense. So in terms of deck-building the game is rather generous and free-form, which gives it a relaxed, sandbox quality. I love this, because it means that failed runs happen because of choices along the way rather than loot. The downside is repeat runs feel samey.
Battles have an unusual tempo to them. Of course it’s always best to clear the field as soon as possible, but the game usually proceeds in bursts of activity, with some turns devoted to healing and survival while others see play of an especially strong card to eliminate a key foe. Here Card Crusade breaks with longstanding roguelike tradition and does not offer full healing upon level-up or floor clear, which means damage suffered becomes persistent. This is one of the game’s smartest choices, adding a sense of pressure while simultaneously rewarding clean strategy and play. It unfortunately also weights defensive builds more positively and taxes health-sacrificing ones further.
The enemies have a little more variety to their abilities and effects. Some multiply and fill the field, others passively buff themselves until they hit like a truck. Their move sets are all made available right from the get-go, making planning a must for efficient clears. Aside from battling and choosing loot, the game offers nothing else, so its appeal lives or dies on the merits of these alone. The battles aren’t especially difficult, but the enemy variety is nice and refreshing, and the health margins for making it to the final boss are surprisingly slim. If the game feels relaxing or ‘easy’ this is a side-effect of its deliberately generous, low-variance design.
It also has some nice flourishes to differentiate repeat plays. Yes, the classes all work differently, but there are also Shrines which offer an optional benefit and drawback. (The closest analogue I can think of would be the excellent Desktop Dungeon’s shrine & faith system). They might boost poison, healing, burning or health, but the shrines always take a toll. The exchange is mostly fair, well-balanced and most importantly of all, well-advertised.
That’s probably the most just assessment of the game as a whole, honestly: fair and as-advertised. It might get quickly solved if you’ve already blazed through Dream Quest, Meteorfall, Night of the Full Moon, Slay the Spire, and every other card battler out there, but it’s still got enough meat on its bones to be worth the price of admission. Diverting, a fun time-sink whose future updates will hopefully add more cards and classes, maybe even a hard mode for those of us ready for a bigger challenge. It is undoubtedly good reliable fun, but this rush is half-nostalgia and half-quality. Here’s hoping the game continues to improve and enrich itself.
Review: Card Crusade published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/
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METAL SLUG ATTACK 3.9.0 APk Download
metal slug attack 3.9.0 is a Metal Slug Collection 20th Anniversary Official Title” for Android and iOS, courtesy of SNK Playmore for cell devices. In every stage, you either face different enemies like your self or huge bosses that may make devastating assaults in your base. Join this community and the world of metallic slug protection and Assault. Presently, the best unit remains to be arguably the Jupiter King, a excessive-value, long-vary support unit that offers a huge chunk of injury to all enemies in a wide space in one burst.
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METAL SLUG ATTACK 3.9.0
It is extra of the identical within the old arenas with leveled-up enemies, however some missions can surprise the player with an out-of-place boss reminiscent of Allen. After reaching degree three, payer will get other sport modes. metal slug attack for Android has some sport modes.
Attack's Extra Ops missions are inclined to have their very own mini-plots, though typically (that's most of version 2.0's) it is nothing more than: Here's the boss, here's the pre-acquisition unit, boss is defeated, Mission Full. The unique title screen in Metallic Slug Attack has changed with the character illustrations of Yoshino, Dragunov, a Martian, Marco, Common Morden, Abigail, and the Professor to mark the anniversary of the collection.

As you understand, this sport provides more variations for players to consolidate attack, building, and defending. The Reload Assist in Assault robotically reduces all models' cooldown to zero, allowing them to perform their particular attacks immediately. The Recovery Help refills all models HP and their manufacturing reload robotically goes to zero.
METAL SLUG ATTACK Action Review
In Attack, certain air models will apply a suicide attack as soon as they have been destroyed. Good luck and be sure to have higher items as a result of this man has chunks of HP and his attacks are already lethal as it's. This is good for dealing damage to necessary targets which can be protected by heavier units, or for clearing away hordes of cannon-fodder units.
Metallic Slug Defense is a cellular recreation launched fairly all of a sudden by SNK in 2014. Particular attack helps to destroy more enemy to gain Motion Factors. Some missions require you to make use of their defense on the proper times to win. Knockback : Most models endure from this upon being hit by powerful assaults but surviving.
Within the recreation 'pre acquisition' models are provided each month for a hefty price of some times fifty dollars other times a hundred dollars! At all times Accurate Attack : Tetsuyuki generally fires a laser that hits all the discipline, player base included.
Cheap and with four hundred HP at degree 20. He attacks at shut vary with a knife and might throw grenades. Claw models are deceptively gradual, but at long range they cost into the fray to maul any enemy in its manner. There are Assault, Special Ops, battle, Fight Faculty, and Guild Raid.
Gatling Good : Units resembling Marco, some Slugs and Allen wield this weapon either normally or as their particular attack. Online (unlocked at Level 10) is the equivalent of MSD's Wi-Fi VS and is the only real-time PVP mode obtainable. Rescuing POWs in Assault has been made easier resulting from them always showing in the identical spot in a degree.

The new unit from the Destroy The Tower further ops in Attack is the Amadeus Corporal who offers thousands of harm in addition to having about 10,000 HP. Morden's special in Attack previously can injury enemy's base with the invincible summoned Hi-Do's. In case you can spend the time and browse the wikis to get your head around how all of the meta stuff works, metal slug attack might change into completely engrossing and properly worth moving into.
The many different human, machine and monster units have a basic assault, in addition to distinctive charged strikes which sometimes require good timing for use accurately. You also get models to attack. Team Battle (unlocked at Stage 20) is a aggressive asynchronous multiplayer mode, much like Battle but having to battle three completely different decks and requiring beating 2 out of 3 battles to win.
As it's a free-to-play sport, there are components reminiscent of layers of stage grinding, missions costing credit that recharge over time and a lot of the unlockable characters solely being out there by way of a secondary foreign money more accessible for those prepared to spend cash on it.
Pre-acquisition items can be this, however as an alternative of paying for it with medals, a player should pay $a hundred for a hundred and ten elements for that specific unit (which means a total of $300 to platinum rating of said unit) as well as an exclusive gold bordered android games avatar that come with it. Fortunately, these pre-acquisition items will finally turn into obtainable via medal crank, so if you want a strong pre-acquisition by spending medals as a substitute of cash, you just have to wait.
In particular, additional set 1 gets you the Massive Snail and the Large Caterpillar, two of one of the best defensive models in the sport, whereas beating extra set 2 unlocks the Samurai Tank, an inexpensive, long-range unit with a disproportionately excessive amount of HP.
Glass Cannon : The HP of the player's base is not such an necessary stat to upgrade first as a result of if a decent group of models reaches a base in any respect, it should almost certainly be done for as a result of defending items will not have time to charge their special strikes to do helpful harm and may't even cover their base's hitbox.
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From Steel Slug three first appears in space 10, stage four. The Mars Mecha is also current within the final set of bonus levels. A number of players be a part of into single guild then take the enemy whereas one other is defending. In case your gadget has had no games put in for a long period, please test if QooApp is properly put in and logged in with the identical account.
All the things's Deader with Zombies : The zombie enemies from Steel Slug three are present. A sequel by the name of Metallic Slug Attack has since been launched on Feb. Anti Air : Sure units have attacks that both shoot projectiles in an arc or at a high angle, permitting them to wreck aerial units.
Morden may have an awesome particular attack, however his commonplace assault just isn't as effective as his 950 (1500 in Assault) AP price would lead you to believe and he tends to get knocked again typically, leaving the remainder of your units uncovered as he tries to make his method again to the entrance.
The gatcha techniques aren't why people play freemium video games like this one, although. It is a subreddit for Steel Slug Attack, the sequel to Metallic Slug Protection. A development by the tip of the first year of Attack's launch, items of the Further-Ops are new recolors of either earlier bosses or items.
Battles are all about defending your drop-pod and attacking the enemies' as an alternative. Whereas not a lot of the Amadeus Syndicate is seen in the recreation, an growth later added a bunch of items and some levels from the Ptolemaic Army, and later some models from the Venusians too.
You might have permission to destroy enemy base utilizing any assault or weapons. Allegedly Free Game : The existence of premium foreign money (Medals) and an energy system (Sortie Points) mean that those who are keen to cough up enough money will always have a bonus over free players.
The game got around three million downloads at the first few month because it's release (word: metal slug attack defense has 27 million downloads.) nonetheless when they have determined to indroduce the 'pre acquisition' models many month glided by and it still stayed at three million or so downloads.
You gather them by having units attack the spot where they're hiding. In Steel Slug Assault, this can get somewhat excessive when you 1) Acquire the abilities that permit the principle characters to maintain their weapons after using them and a couple of) Field lots of the predominant characters at once.
When the Parachute Truck was first launched, it dropped a hail of projectiles at a superb range that did penetrating injury so long as they touched an opponent, decimating even the largest items in seconds. Unused animations current in the primary sequence grow to be used in Defense and Assault, resembling Abul Abbas' assaults.
Models can be upgraded in various methods - from flat stat improve to studying special assaults and effects. It spawns highly effective high-value models from out of nowhere when you get close or hit its base. This is sequel model of previous Steel Slug, so participant should know the essential approach to play this recreation.
Screw This, I am Outta Right here : Most "Supply" characters (Sisilia, Fast, the Aikawa sisters) will run away when their HP is depleted as an alternative of dying. "I think this game is dangerous" and transfer on. Go play Steel Slug X. Or, since SNK solely releases good video games, go play Mercenary Kings.
Steel Slug Assault is an excellent tower protection game that takes benefit of the Metallic Slug license, offering a wonderful gameplay and spectacular graphics. The Bikers cost ninety AP but have 1000 HP at level 20 and transfer sooner, whereas otherwise performing just like the riflemen and complementing them properly.
The degrees in Steel Slug Assault are designed to be beaten as fast as possible. Art Shift : Ralf, Clark, and Leona use their sprites from the Metallic Slug games (which are re-edits of Marco, Tarma, and Eri respectively), whereas the remainder of the King of Fighters cast have a redrawn rendition of their preventing sprites.
: The intro to Steel Slug Assault showcases an animated recreation of the promotional artwork, having various characters and units operating on a desert discipline with explosions everywhere till an in depth-up of Morden seems, though he's not the ultimate boss of the principle game.
Promoted To Playable : Almost every thing, from the common mook to these badass bosses although some items like the Huge Shiee will stay as a boss and won't be playable until several updates later. The game mode has more variation with simple graphic.
Announcer Chatter : The announcer does his factor when the principle characters use their particular attack, corresponding to Marco using the HEAVY MACHINE GUN or Fio utilizing the ROCKET LAUNCHER, for instance. More notable in Assault, the Ptolemaic Army and Amadeus Syndicate are given extra attention than what that they had of their residence video games.

At the finish of the day metal slug attack 3.9.0 it does not really matter if you're willing to help or not, I simply thought there'd be some individuals who hate pay to win video games who know the sensation of playing one. His potential to summon Hover Models (and reset that cooldown) appears very superior, until you discover out that stated Hover Units give the opponent a pretty good quantity of AP if destroyed, making the Commander extra of a legal responsibility than an asset.
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