#But Nightmare realising he's left with a bunch of strangers would not be having a good time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kit-walk3r · 2 years ago

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Summer Lovin’ (Jimmy Darling x fem!reader)

It’s 1950, a new freak show in town and you’re about to have the best summer of your life.

Warnings: sex references (nothing explicit)

It was 1950 when you met Jimmy Darling. Fraulein Elsa’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a travelling freak show, had just arrived in town, causing quite the scandal. Everyone was talking about it; some were excited to see what freaks the show had to offer, others disgusted by the thought of those different from themselves inhabiting ‘their’ town for a few months. You liked to think you were more open minded than a lot of the older folk, so saw no problem in welcoming the freaks.

You met Jimmy outside the grocery store. You were just leaving when the bottom of the brown paper bag broke, sending your groceries to the floor. You groaned, bending down to pick up your now discarded food, luckily it was mostly cans so nothing was squashed or crushed. However, they were a nightmare to pick up and you were attempting to pile the tins in your arms when two gloved hands reached out and picked the remaining cans off the ground. You looked up, ready to thank the kind stranger who helped, when you came face to face with a handsome face. Tanned skin from days in the sun, dark brown, almost black, eyes with almost a twinkle in them and curls of brown hair.

“Oh, hi,” you awkwardly greeted the stranger. “Uh, thank you.”

The handsome stranger grinned. “No problem, ma’am,” your eyes cast downward, cheeks blushing slightly. “Do you need help taking them to your car?”

You shyly nodded, motioning to a small, tan car not too far away. “It’s that one.”

The man nodded and the two of you made your way over to your car. You opened the trunk and put the cans you were holding inside before moving so he could do the same.

“Thank you,” you said again, closing the trunk before looking back at him with a grateful smile. “Not many people would have helped.”

“Just doing what any gentleman should,” The stranger shrugged as if it were no big deal, even though it was to you. “Should never leave a pretty lady in trouble.”

You blushed again at ‘pretty lady’.

“As a real ‘thank you’ you could come pay us a visit,” he handed you one of the flyers he had tucked under his arm. You accepted it and took a quick look. Fraulein Elsa’s Cabinet of Curiosities. Ah, so the stranger was a part of the freak show. “Tell them Jimmy sent you.”

Jimmy.

You nodded and tucked the flyer away in your purse. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Jimmy grinned. “Great. Hope to see you there,” he sent you a wink and just like that was on his way.

It was after Jimmy had gone when you realised the fast beating of your heart and intense flush of your cheeks. You internally cringed, hoping Jimmy didn’t notice how flustered he made you.

- - -

“Why exactly are we here?” Your friend Ruth asked as you both made your way towards the freak show the following night.

“I thought it would be fun,” you shrugged innocently. You hadn’t told your friend about your encounter with Jimmy and how he’d invited you along.

“But it’s just a bunch of weirdos,” Ruth argued, grimacing at one of the posters featuring someone called the ‘Illustrated Seal’.

“They’re not that bad,” you defended. “It’s just a couple of hours, what harm can it do?”

You noticed the lack of people as the two of you approached the ticket booth. Sat there was a very tall woman, just sitting down was your own height. “Two tickets, please,” you said politely. You thought for a moment before quietly adding “Jimmy sent me.”

The woman in the booth smirked as she handed over two tickets. “One of Jimmy’s girls, huh?” She chuckled quietly to herself. You blushed lightly and handed over the money. “Enjoy the show.”

You hoped Ruth hadn’t paid attention to your exchange but as soon as you left the booth she turned to you with an intrigued yet amused face. “Jimmy sent you?” She raised an eyebrow. “Who the hell is Jimmy?”

“Just some guy that I met at the grocery store,” you answered truthfully. “He invited me to come see the show. I could hardly say no after he helped me take my things to my car when my bag broke.”

Ruth had definitely noticed how red your cheeks got when you spoke about Jimmy. “And are you hoping to see Jimmy tonight?” She emphasised his name as she teased.

“Why do you keep saying his name like that?” You rolled your eyes. “Anyway, I’m just saying thank you. But honestly? It looks like we’re the ones doing them a favour,” you looked around the quiet fairground. There were the odd few people but it was still quiet considering it was only fifteen minutes until showtime. “It’s so quiet.”

“I’m not surprised,” Ruth shrugged. “A freak show isn’t the most appealing place to spend a Friday night.” Her tone turned bitter at the end.

“Will you stop complaining?” You rolled your eyes. “It’s just a couple of hours!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ruth muttered. “Let’s just go sit down.”

There were a few more people in the tent, but not enough to qualify for a full house when combined with the people waiting outside. It was a shame really, since you knew this probably how they made a living, selling tickets. But Ruth was sort of right, for most people a freak show wouldn’t be the most appealing place to visit and, as welcoming as you were to the freaks, you wondered if you would have actually bothered attending if Jimmy hadn’t invited you.

You and Ruth took a seat in the third row and waited for the show to start. Once it began you found that you were genuinely enthralled by it, and wondered how these people were so hated. They were all entertaining and charismatic, and you especially loved Ma Petite.

Then it was Jimmy’s turn to perform. Even though you knew Jimmy worked for the freak show it never occurred to you that he was a performer, since he looked fairly normal, but as he walked out on that stage and you saw his hands it all made sense. You remembered the black gloves he was wearing when you met, and realised that they were just a disguise to try and cover up his unusual hands. A pang of sadness hit you at the thought of Jimmy having to cover a part of himself up to try and fit into society. He shouldn’t have to do that.

When Jimmy’s name was announced you saw Ruth perk up, obviously intrigued to see the mysterious guy who invited you to the freak show and had you blushing badly. She nudged you playfully when she saw his face in a clear sense of ‘approval’, but as soon as she caught sight of his hands her grin dropped and her eyes kept flickering between them and you. Now that approval was gone, and all you got now was a sense of disgust.

Your mind was on Jimmy for the remainder of the performance, barely even acknowledging the other performers. He was just as handsome as you remembered, making you blush even more. How was it that a guy you’d spoken to once had this much of an affect on you?

Once the show was over you gave the freaks a standing ovation and round of applause before leaving the tent with Ruth. “So that was Jimmy?” She said, unimpressed.

You hummed in response.

“You never said he had freaky hands,” Ruth grimaced. “He might have one hell of a face but I wouldn’t want those hands anywhere near me, they’re horrifying.”

You scowled. “They’re not horrifying,” you defended, unhappy with how Ruth was talking about Jimmy. “And anyway, I didn’t know. He was wearing gloves when I met him.”

“Of course,” Ruth said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “Hid the freak part of himself to flirt with you and sell you a ticket and once he had your money he flaunted it. The guy was clearly leading you on.”

“No he wasn’t, it was nothing like that,” you groaned. “He just helped me with my groceries, that’s all.”

“Face it, Y/N, that guy had no interest in you, you’re just another ticket sale to him,” Ruth said matter of factly. She opened her mouth to continue speaking when she was cut off by a voice.

“Hello, ladies,” You both spun around to see Jimmy standing behind you, an innocent look on his face as if he hadn’t just been eavesdropping on your conversation. “Enjoy the show?”

You smiled whilst Ruth flushed with embarrassment. “Very much,” you nodded. “It was wonderful.”

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Jimmy grinned. His eyes briefly flickered to Ruth, who was completely silent, before returning to you. “I’m so happy you turned up.”

“Really?” Your cheeks turned pink, and Ruth rolled her eyes at Jimmy’s obvious flirting technique.

“Of course,” Jimmy said. “It’s always encouraging when you’ve got a pretty lady watching you.”

“Well, thank you for inviting me,” you smiled shyly. Ruth was still silent, but also still clearly judging the conversation.

“If you’re not doing anything right now would you maybe wanna take a walk?” Jimmy asked and your eyes widened slightly at his forward request. You weren't expecting him to outright ask you out, you weren't expecting anything from him. “If it’s okay with your friend here, of course,”

You looked back at Ruth with a pleading look in your eye, silently begging her to let you go with him. Ruth sighed. “Fine,” she muttered. “Go ahead.”

You grinned and gave her a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said. “Get home safe!” You said your goodbyes and watched as Ruth walked away, alone, before turning back to Jimmy.

“Wanna lead the way?” You asked. Jimmy nodded, extending his arm with a cheeky grin. You smiled back and linked your arm with his and the two of you began to walk away from the freak show and down a soft path leading towards some trees.

“It really was a great show,” you said.

“Thank you,” the gratitude was evident in Jimmy’s voice. “We all try our best.”

“Well your best is great,” you responded. There was quiet for a while before you spoke up again. “How long have you been in the freak show?” You asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I’ve been travelling as long as I can remember,” Jimmy explained. “My mom- the bearded lady- and I moved between a lot of shows when I was little, some good, some bad. We’ve been in this one for a while now, though. It actually feels like a family.”

You smiled at Jimmy’s response, genuinely interested in his life in the freak show. “That’s great, that you’re all a family,” you said softly.

“It is,” Jimmy agreed. “We’ve always got each other’s backs.” The two of you continued walking. “What about you, doll?” He asked, and as usual you blushed at the nickname.

“There’s not much to tell,” you shrugged. “I’m twenty-one, I’m an only child and I still live at home with my parents and I have a part time job as a secretary at some office, nothing interesting. Guess I’m pretty boring.” You felt embarrassed. Jimmy was living a life travelling the country, entertaining people with a group of people he could call his family whereas you cooked for your parents and answered phone calls for a living. You were pretty dull.

“Are you kidding? There’s nothing boring about that,” Jimmy defended you, nudging your shoulder in an attempt at cheering you up. “The mundane life is the best life.”

Jimmy’s support and optimism made you feel warm inside and you smiled softly at his support.

Your walk continued in a comfortable silence, the two of you just enjoying each other’s company as the sun reached its final moments of sunset. You could see the illumination of fireflies start to appear and you marvelled at their beauty.

You looked down at yours and Jimmy’s linked arms before stopping walking and pulling your arm out of his. A flash of confusion crossed Jimmy’s face, accompanied by a brief look of… hurt? As if he thought you were rejecting him. Instead, you did the opposite and grasped his hand with yours. The skin of his hands was rough and obviously it wasn’t the easiest to interlock your fingers but he was warm, and there was something about this that just felt right.

Jimmy’s eyes widened with shock slightly and your actions and he stared at your interlocked hands. He’d been with a number of girls in his twenty two years, but none of them had so freely embraced his hands in a manner that wasn’t for sexual gratification. Your hands were soft and warm and felt so delicate underneath his own. This feeling was new, and it felt nice.

Jimmy looked up from your joined hands to your face and saw your gentle smile and warm eyes. He found that he couldn’t stop himself and he leaned down to kiss you.

It was very brief, practically a peck, and you had no time to respond before Jimmy pulled back, looking almost ashamed. “I’m sorry,” he apologised, letting go of your hand and running it through his hair nervously. He looked awkward, as if he was going to run away at any moment and nothing like the confident, flirtatious guy you met at the grocery store. You found this endearing, however, and to put him out of his misery you used your now free hands to pull Jimmy back in for a much deeper kiss, which he responded to almost immediately.

Jimmy’s lips were soft under yours, a lot softer than you would have thought. His hands that were now around your waist held you gently, as if he was trying not to break you, and you could feel the heat radiating from his touch through the fabric of your dress. This kiss felt heavenly, and you couldn’t stop yourself from deepening it a little more. You didn’t want it to end.

Eventually, Jimmy pulled back, panting as he regained his breath. He grinned, and you couldn’t help mirror it, filled with excitement. “Damn, you sure know how to kiss,” Jimmy chuckled, and your only response was to pull him down for another one.

Your moment continued for a few seconds longer before Jimmy pulled back again. “As much as I’m enjoying this,” he said with a cheeky grin before leaning down so that his mouth was level with your ear, “and, believe me, I am,” you shuddered at the feeling of his hot breath against your skin and pouted when he pulled back. “It’s dark and I don’t know about you, doll, but I’d much rather be able to see you.”

You nodded in agreement. Thanks to the fireflies and lights in the distance you could see some parts of Jimmy, but the rest was concealed by darkness.

“You wanna take this back to my trailer?” Jimmy asked hopefully.

You nodded.

- - -

A couple of hours later and yours and Jimmy’s activities had finally slowed down. After stumbling your way back to the fairground (with the occasional pit stop for some more fooling around since the two of you couldn’t let each other go) you finally made it back to Jimmy’s trailer. There was a slight awkwardness at first but it didn’t take long for the lip-locking to continue, and soon after layers of clothes were coming off and Jimmy was showing you what his hands could really do. It was an intense, overwhelming experience and as the two of you lay side by side, catching your breaths, you were starting to come down from your high.

Besides the sound of your laboured breaths there was a comfortable silence in the trailer, neither of you feeling the need to talk as you recovered. Instead, Jimmy just wrapped an arm around you and you snuggled in closer to him, resting your head on his bare chest as you traced random patterns onto his skin with your finger. The silence continued, and you could have stayed in that moment forever… until you saw the clock and realised what time it was.

“Oh, shit!” You shot up, disturbing Jimmy who you realised was drifting off to sleep. You got up from the makeshift bed and grabbed your clothes that were scattered all over the floor before quickly attempting to redress in a way that made you look presentable.

“Where you going in such a hurry, baby?” Jimmy mumbled as he sat up and watched you put your clothes back on. You barely registered that he called you ‘baby’, too panicked about being late home.

“I need to get home,” you tried to explain as you pulled up your tights, internally groaning when you noticed a large pull in them. You hoped your mother wouldn’t notice. “I’m late and my parents will be worried sick.”

“You’re twenty one,” Jimmy pointed out as he pulled on his own underwear, followed by his wife beater. “Can’t you make your own rules?”

You shook your head. “Not whilst I live with my parents. Their house, their rules,” you attempted to zip up the back of your dress but struggled. “Could you zip me up?”

Jimmy nodded and came over to you. He brushed your hair over your shoulder before gently zipping up the fabric. You shivered as his fingers grazed the skin of your back and a soft sigh escaped you when you felt his lips ghost against the side of your neck, just beneath your ear.

“Are you sure you can’t stay?” He murmured, and it took all of your self-restraint to say no.

“I can’t,” you turned around so you were face to face with Jimmy and you gently rested your hands on his chest. “My parents would call the police or send out a search party. It would be a nightmare.”

“Well, can I at least see you again?” Jimmy asked before kissing you once more. You responded just for a moment before pulling back, knowing that if you continued for just a second longer you would not be leaving this trailer until the morning.

“If you want to,” you shrugged innocently.

Jimmy grinned, his arms wrapping themselves around your waist. “Oh, I want to,” he pulled you closer towards him and slowly pressed a few light kisses to your neck. He was really making it hard for you to leave.

“Jimmy I really have to go,” you insisted and Jimmy groaned as he pulled back.

“Let me drive you back at least?” Jimmy offered and you nodded, remembering the motorcycle parked not too far away.

You watched as Jimmy pulled on the rest of his clothes and wondered how you had gotten so lucky.

- - -

For the rest of the summer the freak show was in town you and Jimmy frequently met up. Early on the two of you agreed that this would be just a summer fling, both aware that Jimmy wouldn’t be around forever as the show was set to move on to another state. You made sure to make the most of the time you had though, so Jimmy often took you out for picnics and such as well as back to his trailer.

You’d informed Ruth about the little arrangement you had with Jimmy and, after asking for the sordid details (especially about his hands), she agreed to cover for you for your parents, allowing you to spend nights with Jimmy instead of having to rush back home for a certain hour. However, this did make for an awkward first meeting with Jimmy’s mother when she didn’t knock before coming into his trailer one morning. It was awful and you were certain Ethel hated you, but she always made sure that there was a plate of breakfast saved for you in the mornings you were over. It turned out she was very welcoming of you, as were all the freaks, and you realised that this really was a family.

Of course it was hard when Jimmy finally had to go, but you’d been preparing for it so was ready for the goodbye. You parted on good terms, there were no tears or sobs. Just a hug, a kiss on the cheek from Jimmy and a reminder from you that if Jimmy were ever in town again to come find you. Then he and the rest of the freaks left, and you moved on with your life.

- - -

Two years later you were leaving work when you noticed a familiar figure standing outside the building. You grinned at Jimmy, who was smiling straight at you, and you hurried towards him. You noticed his now wooden hands but didn’t mention it and instead pulled him into a tight hug.

“What are you doing here?” You asked as you pulled back. You’d not heard anything about the freak show being back in town.

Jimmy simply said: “You said to come find you.”

•———•

I hope this was okay for my first Jimmy fic. I know a lot of you reading this would have preferred it if smut was involved but unfortunately that is something that I am currently not confident enough to write, I hope you understand.

Requests are welcome!

Taglist: @jellyluvr @howtobesasha @dewberryobssesed @luv4evan

Want to join my taglist? Just reply here!

#american horror story #ahs #jimmy darling #evan peters #jimmy darling x reader #jimmy darling x you #Jimmy darling x y/n #American horror story freak show #ahs freak show #tate langdon #kit walker #kyle spencer #james patrick march #rory monahan #kai anderson

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amarienne · 5 years ago

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Long and tired 15x20 rumblings. Beware of spoilers and the F word.

It’s been 10 hours since I watched the episode and I still can’t believe that was real and not a prank episode.

Let’s leave aside the destiel of it all, alright? We all knew getting a huge and proper destiel scene was not gonna happen, no matter how much we clowned the last few days.

But that was a shit show of writing and plot. Fair enough, they felt like a MOTW episode was very fitting to be the last and you know what, I agree. That first 10 minutes of a simple life jogging, making breakfast and petting the dog? I am all for it. Pie Fair? Perfect, who doesn’t like pie? And Dean surely deserved to eat to his heart’s content with no worry in the world.

But at the same time you are trying to tell me that Dean didn’t even blink while Sam mentioned Cas being dead? And that we didn’t even see Sam at least texting with Eileen who just one episode ago vanished in thin air and Sam, had to perform some pretty heavy self control and restraint so he didn’t break because of the loss? How am I, the audience, supposed to believe that??

Still, I was happily going along with it all still keeping hope (lol, what a fool) until they entered the barn. I saw that freaking rod while they were fighting. Don’t believe it if you don’t want to, but I saw the freaking metal rod and I saw Dean being attacked and I was like fuck no he’s gonna end up on it. And surely enough a second later he was. And being the naive person I am I thought ‘huh, interesting. maybe that’s how we see Jack in this episode, or we see Dean in the hospital fighting for his life because he realises he doesn’t want to keep doing this.’

Buuut nooo, ofc not. We get 10 minutes of Dean hanging from a nail making an otherwise lovely speech and Sam standing there listening to it. We get a *w*nc*est* aura with the hand holding and forehead touching? REALLY? I couldn’t fucking believe it. And then Dean dies.

Dean, who just last episode did not take vengeance on Chuck because ‘that’s not who I am’. A fact I am betting my life on comes of course, of course, from Castiel’s confession. So we finally get to see Dean accepting the fact he is not just a killer, but actually he is made of love and for love and he deserves to be happy. Guys, you can see it in his face, he starts to believe it. And he chooses to walk away with his brother and Jack and to simply leave Chuck behind to have the thing he is more scared of- the thing Dean craved more than anything: a normal life.

Enter a sad excuse of a funeral, a pathetic montage of Sam in the bunker and then a call for another hunt. And Sam leaving (forever? who the fuck knows) the bunker. And just as I feared we get to Heaven. And Dean is welcomed by Bobby. That scene was actually fine. At least we get to fucking know Cas is no longer in the Empty- that presumably Jack saved him and they are now together or were together to build Heaven. And the fact they all share a heaven is sweet, okay? Baby is there, Dean goes for a drive, Kansas is playing. Cheesy but lovely.

Montage of Sam living a normal life? A toddler with ‘Dean’ stitched on his clothes? Enter me losing my fucking mind on the turn of events. So Sam named the kid he had with a *faceless* woman Dean in honour of the brother that died like 3 days after saving the world. Huh?? Really? I mean really? What the fuck happenned to Eileen?? She was too precious for this episode and this fucking story.

At this point I am like, I wish I had not pressed play on this mess. But the God awful montage continues. We see Dean Jr (*retching from disgust on the cliche*) telling Sam it’s okay, mirroring the first death. Also what’s with the tatoo? Is he a hunter too? Did Sam continue hunting and pulled his son into it as well? Or was it just a general precaution/tradition. Fuck knows of course. Heart monitor goes beep (the fucking cliches will be the death of me) and we see a bunch of pictures. The faceless wife remains faceless because *who cares* let’s just show the parallells between the two brothers’ deaths.

Oh I forgot all this is to the sound of a pop cover of Carry on my Wayward Son. They didn’t even have the decency to keep the original playing.

And here I am thinking, wishing, being ready to make a crossroads deal that all this is not actually real. It’s a dream, or a nightmare, or an alternate reality or - my biggest hope- Gabriel’s playing a prank somehow.

But as we all now know, dear strangers, that was not it. Nope. Dean stops in a lovely bridge (after apparently a couple hours of driving) and Sam appears. They hug it out. And they watch the sun set over the fucking mountain top.

Oh and then we have the god awful goodbye message. The final blow so we stay on the ground.

Un-fucking-believable. That was like the worst fanfiction, wrapped in a last minute essay you’re writing that is due in six hours, dipped in a diary entry from when you were 9 and dusted with a touch of *who gives a fuck let’s just finish this*. Also let’s blame *COVID*.

All the beautiful scenes and moments of the past 15 seasons. All the character progression we thought we were witnessing. All the symbolism we thought we were seeing. All the secondary characters we got to love to just not see if they actually made it back after 15x18. All the blood, sweat and tears our four boys went through in the last few episodes. All yeeted out the fucking window. It was all for fucking nothing? For an ending my four year old niece could come up with on the spot?

They all die and live happily ever after in Heaven?

Betrayed does not begin to cover how I feel. I was not a hardcore fan of SPN by a long shot. But I know stories. This is not how a good story ends. And SPN was a good story. It deserved better. We deserved better. Our boys deserved better.

I am standing and slow clapping for the actors though. They were truly brilliant, they worked with this shit writing and managed to get to the other side of it. I would sell my left kidney to find out what they actually thought of that ending and to also ask the showrunner what kind of drunk dream made the basis of this finale. Oh, and also ask the folks at CW who green lighted this shitstorm how they’re feeling? The 1 star ratings at IMBD are raining like the fallen angels, bitch.

God. This was long and awful but even if noone read it, it made me feel better.

I can’t even begin to form coherent thoughts regardging the lack of Cas and destiel. Maybe on another post.

#supernatural #spn #spn 15x20 #dean #sam #destiel #supernatural finale #supernatural spoilers #shitshow #supernatural betrayed us #mine

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 4 years ago

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Into The Thick of It (2)

Loki x Female Reader

Chapter 2: The God

Series Summary: Her work as an agriculturist nearly takes the readers life is not for a stranger (and his weird looking dog) who later turns out to be the God of Mischief. Thrown into a completely different realm, you want to figure out a way home while trying to stay out of the way of this literal God. But fate has its own plans for the two of you.

Written for @tarithenurse and her #Taris1Kchallenge

Warnings: sexist remarks

Word Count: My jaw is selectively pounding now that my wisdom tooth is out and the stitches are in place. It feels so weird because its not like you can simply scratch an itch or around the itch in some way.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

"How does this look?" Zaira is holding up a green dress that goes down to your toes in length. You give the deep shade a once over and turn back to your laptop. "Meh." Zaira tsks. "I mean-" you breathe and give your attention to your friend- "it's okay. For you. For me?" You shake your head and shrug before trying to discreetly get back to the screen. "Bullshit. You look amazing in green." You try to find the mouse on the screen. "Are you sure?" The question is bland. "Of course! No one can carry this like you! And for the sake of all things holy, stop looking at your death again and again!" Your brows furrow at the statement, turning back to Zaira, who still stands there with the green dress, except for one thing- the usual workspace of white and grey is now replaced with an eerily familiar dark forest with trees trying to touch the sky. "What?" It is nothing more than a whisper, this word erupting from your lips at the change in scenery. Your mind is at the edge of a realisation waiting to erupt when your hand feels an unwelcoming heat. The immediate reaction is to get your arm away from the laptop, or at least that is what you think you are doing considering the last saved spot of this occurrence in your memory. But there is no laptop. No chairs or tables. Just a bonfire in front of you and your hands covered in blood and tied in ropes tearing through your flesh. And beyond that fire are figures in the dark chanting verses that are alien to your ears. But just as the chanting grows louder, you can feel a cloud of dread begin to loom of your heart; growing bigger by the second. Zaira! You are screaming her name but your voice isn't audible and you cannot see her anywhere either. Zaira!! You call out for her again when the figures seem to be getting closer to you, the anxiety in your chest beginning to hurt even more. ZAIRA!!!

The loudness of her name in your conscience jerks you awake with the dread transported straight out of your hallucination. Still breathless and sweating from the nightmare, your head pounds at the sudden jump to the reality of finding yourself lying under a fur skin as heavy as you inside what seemed like a tent. From where you lay, the roof is a muddy beige colour dense enough to block sun or rain. Turning your head to your right, you can see a side table housing a copper goblet along with a copper jug. I hope to the Gods that water. I don't care if it's laced with poison at this moment. Turning to your left you are taken a little back to see familiar golden eyes staring from the copper jug back at you, so close that that saliva ridden tongue could lick you if it wanted. "Hi," you greet the familiar creature from the night of your nightmare, your heart still trying to dilute, resting by your side. The creature tilts its neck a little before you can see its tail rise up and swing from side to side. Such a doggo. You try to get up- with much effort, thanks to this animal duvet weighing just as much or maybe more than you- and breathe the cold air around you. Even though the anxiety of this recent incident is still looming around you in the corners you don't want to look at, it is a relief to feel the quiet around you. And the weird doggo looking at you seems to make those corners lighter, convincing your heart that it all ended not so bad at some point. Moving the fur duvet off you to get to the water on your side, you suddenly find yourself quickly putting the fur back on at the momentary realisation of something major amiss, bringing back all that anxiety that was watching you from the corners. "Where the fuck are my clothes?" you whisper right at the doggo despite knowing that poor thing can only swing its tail whenever you look at it. "They were tattered beyond repair." The voice immediately brings your duvet up to your chin before your eyes dart towards the entrance in front of you. No fucki-oh. A woman with skin paler than the pale described for Bella from Twilight stands at the entrance of the tent with a bunch of warm clothing. Her eyes carry a hint of grey and muddy green in them. She takes it upon herself to have already gotten permission to walk towards your side and place the clothes she has got in front of you before going back to secure the entrance. "You were fortunate to be alive in those deadly woods of the dark," she mentions while taking a thermos out of her dress and pouring the contents in the bowl kept on the makeshift table; all the while with her back towards you. You, still cautious of the eyes around you, slowly snuck the clothes inside the duvet to put them on. Only when putting them on, you realise the lack of a bra or panties; just a loose cotton camisole in their stead. ...okay. Maybe they didn't know my size. You look back at the woman busying herself around the tent. All you can see is the huge- and seemingly heavy- overcoat made out of an animal. Or maybe they...don't have the resources? Great, Y/N. Go be a judgmental b for the people who saved your life. The gown is a deep blue shade that neatly wraps around your shape and is put in place with the hooks, the last step being securing it all with the one string tied in what only you would call a bow. "So, it was you who saved me last night?" The woman brought you a bowl with steaming hot stew, bursting out in laughter on hearing your question. You stand there watching her immediately suppress the laughter as if she had been caught red-handed for a grave crime. "My apologies for what you just saw. It was not me who saved you." And before you can ask who it was, the woman gathers a wide bowl filled with water, a couple of hand towels and two bowls of what looked like homemade ointments, and walks out of the tent. You are about to go thinking about the materials that woman just took away when the only being you are familiar with, gets up from the bed, jumps down and struts out of the tent. "Wait...don't leave me," you whimper in a low tone, gathering a bit of strength to walk out right behind him. . The clearing in the forest has been turned into a camp with soldiers bustling in any direction you look. Swords, bows and arrows are being used for practice in one corner and the same are being mended in the other. Helmets akin to the ones Vikings wore can be seen on top of many heads. So can the undercut and braids. "Is this a cosplay fair?" you ask the one guy who passes by close to you. He is nearly the same height as you, but with a lush red beard and hazel eyes. He- and his two friends- observes you from head to toe, almost making you realise how out of place you already look. "This is a war camp, missy. One where you have no reason staying." You mock a laugh at the audacity of this person. "I will decide the reason for my stay myself...boy." You start to walk away, trying to find any familiar figure in this quite realistic cosplay village. But last you remembered, there has been no such fair going on in the vicinity of that cursed town. A heated hand captures your arm and forces you to turn around. A wince comes out of you and flashes of that gory incident move before your eyes. Especially the face of that man. The Viking guy takes a step towards you, not letting go of your hand in the first wank. "Sigmund! Who is this wench with a quick mouth?" Sigmund, the taller of the three men, with bulky features and a sharp nose huffed. "Someone who needs to learn her place, Kare." "Aye," the last of the three speaks, "she does not look like help. Not in that silk she wears." Kare smirks through that unruly beard of his. "Why, are you that prince's mistress then, lassy? Is that why you came out from those royal tents, eh?" Kare turns towards his lads to laugh, who had slowly gathered now to watch the show, giving you something new to be anxious about. Agni, on the other hand, makes his way through this crowd to come and stand next to you, observing the situation. "Fucking dogs," you whisper under your breath- which you are trying your best to stop from trembling- and begin to walk away again but Kare is already hopping in your path. "Why in such a hurry, my lady?" He bows and turns towards his lads to let his words be heard by everyone "Give us unworthy lads a chance to find out how well you warm the royal beds, eh?" But the 'lads' seem to be having a sudden seizure. Either that or the joke did not seem to register. A sudden movement behind you and all the eyes staring past you assure you in your heart that it is the former one. "Your lads do not seem to find that funny, Kare." A voice not too deep but certainly somewhere right under the surface with a weight that can be felt in your bones, speaks from right behind you, freezing you where you stand. It takes some time for you to turn around and look at the source of the voice. And once you do, you realise how tall this man stands. His pale skin is radiant and his features sharp. You could draw straight lines just by referencing his cheekbones. His black hair- perhaps the only one with black hair in this cosplay fair- is neatly braided in braids at each side and the rest of the hair left open. What shampoo does he use? "I pity your mother and sister," this man continues, "for meeting your lads in an alley someday and being asked the same question." He does not stir his gaze from Kare, constantly piercing through that man's existence without so much as a smile. "Apologies, your grace." Your grace? You turn to watch Kare and his buddies drop their heads down and then it hits you. Your grace?!!! Your head whips around with the air of surprise as you watch this man in a new light. I mean, yeah, he kinda looks like a...'your grace'. "It is not me you should be apologising to." He doesn't even blink. He is as stoic as a boulder and everyone here revolves around him. "Apologies...my lady." The words bring you out of the trance that this man's face has created for you and you turn to watch Kare bow to you along with his 'lads'. "Ansa!" the man calls out for someone, finally turning to look at you. You have to catch your breath when those green eyes bore into you, the stare not too piercing and neither too soft. Just balanced. But damn the skies for it is making you lose your balance somewhere inside you. "Yes, my lord," the familiar lady comes out of the crowd to stand before him with her head low. "How is the weather today?" He simply puts the question. Within seconds you realise what the question really is about. You try your best to stand still in this chilly weather despite the sun high in the sky but it is as if he can smell the chill off you. "It's cold my l-" she realises it too, running to the nearest tent to grab a fur coat just like her Lord's and put it gently on your shoulders. "My apologies, my lady. Apologies, my lord." "Are the armies ready for the west front, Aren?" "Yes, your grace. Two battalions are ready to march to the mountains. They wait for my signal." Aren, a tall ginger with soft features gives a warm smile when you look in his direction. "Very well. Go for it then." And with that command, Aren walks to the space vacating in front of you, spreads his arms and transforms into an eagle to fly up and away beyond the nearest mountain. You are left with your jaw unhinged as you try to make sense of what just happened, turning towards the man in charge here; all the while pointing at the sky. "H-how?" "Walk with me..." that commanding voice a couple of minutes ago has transformed into a soft tone that captures a completely different personality of this man. "Y/N." "Y/N," he repeats the name as if to memorise it, and lets his arm gesture you towards the direction you are asked to walk. "I am Loki, of Asgard. Pleased to make your acquaintance." "Asgard?" you wonder the name out loud, confusion visibly dripping from your face. "There is no place by the name Asgard on the maps? Is this further north in the Alps? Wait...are we still in Norway or did we change countries?" The guards by the biggest tent make way for Loki and you to enter. Unlike the place you woke up in, this one houses everything fit for a king. From the bed to the cutlery. And everything has a colour theme going on for some reason. A real deep shade of green. Even Loki's fur coat carries blues and greens as if they had been specially plunged from the deepest corners of the oceans on earth. "Y/N-" he gestures you to sit down on the settee by the foot of the bed while he pours you wine in a goblet- "I have to tell you something. Be kind enough to hear me out before jumping to conclusions." You take the glass from his hand and sit down on the settee. Oh! cold hands! Is he okay? It's really chilly out there. "What?" You wait for him to start. Loki stands by the conference table and faces you, his hands working with each other as he looks at them before finally letting his gaze meet yours. "You are no longer on earth. You were transported to Asgard last night during the Pagan ritual, where you were conveniently made a sacrifice, and would have died if not for Agni hearing your prayers and tearing that scum apart." Silence. Loki’s features show no emotions when he narrates the reality to you. In fact, he waits for a reaction from your end, carefully studying those y/e/c eyes as they blink at him in unadulterated innocence, turn away to look at Agni and then come back to him. Ultimately, you take a sip from the goblet, letting the wine go down your throat, the involuntary reflex of tasting something not to your liking naturally coming over your face. Waiting for a few seconds, you bring the goblet back to your lips, this time gulping down the contents within a breath. "Okay." Loki looks at you with a focused glare before tilting his head a little. "Okay?" You nod. "Are you-" Loki pauses to come and sit down in the chair right in front of you but at a respectable distance- "okay with everything that I just told you? All the parts of it that do not make sense to a human?" You breathe in a lungful. "Oh, Gods! No. I am overwhelmed at this point. To even consider the fact that I am not currently on earth and that I was about to be raped by an eighteen-year-old cultist if not for your wonderful doggo and you, I am considering. Because now that I look at you I completely put you in the silhouette I saw last night. And I thought this was some adult dress-up show going on until a legit person just turned into an eagle and fucking flew away right in front of my eyes. I mean...it would take a good amount of CGI to actually make that happen just in the movies, forget real life. And if I am not on earth, the thought of getting out of doing mindless labour because your boss is an asshole is very appealing, mind you. Even though that means I have been thrown straight into a pit of testosterone-filled sexist Vikings who look like they will pounce on me the first chance they get. So...yeah. I am...I...uhh...have decided to shut my brain down till-" you simply shrug before breaking into nervous laughter and bringing the empty goblet back to your lips, raising it as far as it could go before it decided to release a drop into your desperate mouth. Loki blinks at you before breaking into a smirk that he hides from your eyes. It feels like he has watched you slowly crumble a little within the last few moments when all you did was talk. He has noticed those shaking hand movements and those trembling lips that force a smile to show they are doing absolutely fine. He has observed that shift of your fingers to scratch an itch on your exposed neck and that movement of turning that sole ring made out of iron in your index finger; hiding your anxieties in the rotations of that little circle. And now he watches you trying to dissolve the incoming anxious winds in alcohol. He knows this look too well. The look of fear; fear of the unknown. Loki raises his hand to you. "Allow me to refill that. With something better." You watch his hands and make a mental note of those long pale fingers and how good they would seem wrapped around anything. "Something better? I don't think Asgard could provide me with a Long Island Iced Tea or a Jeager Bomb. Or a Zombie." Loki simply chuckles and you find yourself stuck on that toothed smile of his. Is he the same guy who was dragging his soldiers in the mud like anything? Taking the goblet from you, he gets up and walks towards a little cabinet that opens up like a medieval bar. "I sympathise with you being so far away from home. But I can assure you these...Vikings will not touch you or even think about pouncing on you ever." You furrow your brows and let your arms rest on each side while you tilt your head a little in question. "They know it better than to even think about what I claim as mine." You feel little chills go up your spine at his words, your legs going one over the other as you wiggle away certain scenarios from your mind. Damn! He should write dialogues for the entertainment industry. "Excuse me, sir," you press while raising your brow, "I may have fallen on your royal highness' land but that ain't making me anyone's property...considering this is your property." You cannot see it from where you sit, but the God chuckles at your audacity of raising your voice at him. He comes back to you with your drink. You notice that this time it is not the familiar red wine waiting for you in the goblet but something relatively darker and comparatively with a more medicinal odour. "No one will harm you. Agni will make sure of it. Isn't that right, beast?" You turn to watch Agni sitting right next to your feet, immediately wagging his tail at the mention of his name, contently growling as assurance. You notice how familiar this creature look to the Pitbulls back on earth. Give them pits some pointed skeleton for their backbone, a pair of horns and huge canines and these two breeds will be a copy of each other. "And we will find you a safe passage home once we reach back to the city." Home. unfortunately for you, the first thing at the mention of 'home' is the rush of crude flashbacks from last night of that horrid nameless town. No matter how hard you try to breathe in, the scenes keep on coming. Both Loki and Agni seem to sense the uneasiness creeping onto you. Your racing heartbeat and uneasiness of breath can be heard by them as clear as you can. "I hope you were not too attached to your clothes. I had to tear them apart to treat your wounds," Loki announces, gulps his herbal drink and walks towards the entrance of the tent. "Yeah, no problem. They were just clo-wait what? WHAT? You-" you get up and lower your voice for the fear of any third person hearing it- "you tore my clothes?" He nods with the most neutral expression you wanted to punch. "Yes. As you mentioned, they were just clothes. And nothing I haven't seen before. Now come on." You wonder whether to be relieved or angry with this one. Putting that thought on the back burner to simmer for a while, you gulp down the goblet without breaking any eye contact with him. "Where are we going?" "To get you out of your clothes again," he states without skipping a beat and you have to question all the good you have thought about him till now. Son of a bitch! What an ass- "You stink. About time you took a bath."

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disasterinadress97 · 5 years ago

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Dallas Winston Headcannons nobody asked for 🤷🏻‍♀️

Trigger warning ⚠️

A bit of nsfw in there too

Pre Tulsa, life in New York

• His mom was a drug addict and had Bipolar 1 disorder

• He has/had 4 siblings, an older brother (six years older) from his moms previous relationship, older sister (five years older) from his dads past relationship, a twin brother (who was trans ftm) and a little sister (eight years younger than him)

• He was always the one to take care of his mom during her depressive episodes when she wouldn’t leave her bed.

• She often left days-weeks at a time when she was in a manic state

• He practically raises his baby sister, she died when she was four due to cancer

• That was when he decided he hates kids cause they always reminded him of her

• he was always stealing and dealing to get his twin brother anything to help his body dismorphia and feel more comfortable in his body

• His mom often sold his body and his brother’s to her drug dealer when they couldn’t afford drugs (his dad did not know this at the time)

• his dad was actually a good dad till their mom walked out on them when he was 9, that was when he started drinking and abused Dallas because ‘you fuckin look so much like her’

• He was apart of two gangs in New York, one of which was a Drag Queen gang

• The one Queen lived beside him and always heard fighting, she took him under her wing and after his mom left they were practically the ones who raised him and his little sister

• the two older siblings and his twin left a little while after their mom did, that was when he learned you can’t trust anyone

• you bet your ass this boy dressed in drag with his queens, a master with make up, can’t change my mind

• can walk in high heels/‘stripper shoes’ like no other!

• started selling his body to strangers for money after his mom left and his dad started drinking to afford to feed his sister and himself

• His other gang was a bunch of stereotypical big mean, manly gang members

• He started dating a guy from said gang, this guy was hella abusive, controlling and manipulative. Also was twice Dal’s age

• when Dallas left New York he broke up with him and the guy beat the shit out of him and burned him with a poker ‘so you’ll never forget me’

In Tulsa/present?

• has some severe PTSD, also suffers from abandonment issues, anxiety, depression and Bipolar 2 disorder

• Loves him some Rupauls drag race, reminds him of his Queens and how much he misses them

• Acts so tough and mean because In New York he was tough and knew it but was always seen as the ‘little kid’ so going to Tulsa that wasn’t gonna happen again

• first people he came out to about being bi was Mr and Mrs Curtis

• they also found out he was selling his body for rent/food money and that was when they realised how much they care about him

• him and Mrs. Curtis were super close, she was the closest thing he had to a real mom.

• He is actually so soft behind the tough guy act

• cuddles? All the time

• is a total brat sub/bottom don’t @ me

• the gang found out about his Drag Queen past when he accidentally sent pony the wrong photo from his phone ‘you tell them you die!’

• he obviously blabbed

• everyone was shook.

• Johnny was amazed because ‘he’s so tough but so pretty!’

• two bit laughed but lowkey was impressed with Dallys confidence to do that

• Steve was just ‘if it makes him nicer and happier than whateva’

• you already know soda begged him to do his make up let’s ge honest

• Darrel was quiet but was also a good dad and was like ‘as long as it keeps him out of jail we will always love him’

• he was touched but also super embarrassed the gang found out about it, but was thankful they were cool with it

• gang 100% harassed him to wear drag for them Atleast once

• one day dallas brought his make up and shoes over, he did his and soda’s make up and wore his shoes and the gang was shook! ‘How can you walk in those?! So easily??’ ‘He looks prettier than half the girls at school!’

• all the support from the gang!

• Dallas actually reads a lot like pony does but doesn’t talk about it incase he gets made fun of for the books he likes

• is also really smart but plays dumb

• this boy LOVES vampires, they’re his guilty pleasure. We talking the vampire chronicles, the vampire diaries, true blood, he even liked the twilight books but will never tell a soul!

Dating headcanons!

General:

• cuddles all the time

• is very insecure and gets jealous easy

• surprisingly isn’t violent or aggressive when jealous, he’s scared if he is they will leave

• plot twist! Sylvia was actually a beard so Soc’s and other gangs wouldn’t know he’s bi

• they only said she cheated cause she was caught with another dude. The hate and hurt was all an act

• is a brat so will tease his dom in public subtly but so much

• is super clingy

• wants to be together all the time

• always needs reassurance ‘are you sure you’re still happy? Like I didn’t do anything wrong?’ ‘No, babe I love you’. ‘Oh okay, are you sure tho?’ 24/7

Johnny

• always getting Johnny to stay at bucks or his dads when his dad isn’t home so Johnny is safe

• feeding this boy all the time!

• when he hears dal is a bottom Johnny is shook but surpringly into a ‘daddy’ role

• drive in dates whenever they can

• they watch the stars a lot

• when Dallas is super anxious he picks at his nails a lot and Johnny holds his hands to help him feel a bit at ease

• when Dallas is in a manic state Johnny follows him anywhere he goes. Parties, fights, anything. He just wants to make sure he doesn’t get jailed again or hurt

• Johnny highkey loves when Dallas dresses in drag ‘you’re just so confident and hot!’

Steve

• watches while Steve works on his cars, he likes seeing Steve so interested and content

• when either of them fight with their dads they drive around all night and talk. They are both quiet about feelings usually but wanna be there for each other

• hangs around the DX while Steve and soda work

• both don’t say a lot normally but are always touching each other

• when Dallas is in a depressive episode Steve will come to bucks and just lay with him for hours

• They talk about both their moms walking out on them sometimes. They both swear if they ever met these women there would be hell to pay ‘how could she abandon this beautiful person?’

Soda

• all the spooning you could ask for

• Dallas is always complimenting him. ‘You’re so pretty wtf’

• on the anniversary of sodas parents death Dallas buys him flowers and they go to their graves

• when Dallas doesn’t answer his phone Soda highkey panics ‘what if he’s hurt?! What if he’s in jail ahain?’

• Dallas always feels bad about this and tries to make it up to him

• soda is always reminding Dallas he’s not alone and he loves him

• when soda really misses his mom Dallas and him talk about some of their favourite memories with her. Soda is still sad but it makes him a little happier knowing how much she cared about him and the one he loves so much

Two bit

• jokes 24/7

• when the gang isn’t around Dallas only calls him Keith or babe

• two doesn’t usually like his name but when Dallas says it he hates it a little less every time

• two bits mom wasn’t a fan of Dallas at first but after a while and gets to know him she loves him so much ‘mom I’m home’ ‘where is dallas’ ‘idk’ ‘tell him to come over I’m making his favourite dish’

• when two bit gets jealous or feels Dallas is he always puts his arm around his waist or kissing him so the person gets the hint

• twos little sister looks up to their relationship a lot and loves how happy her brother is

• two doesn’t stop drinking but slows down on it when Dallas mentions once it worries him sometimes

• Dallas and twos little sister get close really fast. Dallas is always giving her advice and one day brings her some old make up of his and she loves it!

• two doesn’t understand why dallas seems a little sad after times like these until one day dallas tells him about his little sister and how two should spend more time with her, ‘just in case something happens. I don’t want you to regret anything like I do’

• two makes a point to spend more time together the three of them after that

Pony

• they read together sometimes

• Dallas will go to literally any movie if pony is interested

• picks pony up from school everyday

• if Dallas gets arrested you know pony is lecturing him for Atleast a half hour. Dallas just sits there with heart eyes because ‘damn I missed this pain in my ass’

• dates at the Dingo are their Friday night ritual

• they both have terrible nightmares and are always cuddling and comforting eachother after

• Dallas is always saying little things to pony about his relationship with Darrel ‘I know he’s on your case all the time but it’s cause he means well’. Dallas then tells pony about his brothers and sister and how he wishes he could live with them and see them like pony can with Darrel

• pony and dar still fight sometimes after this but never in front of Dallas

Darrel

• they don’t go out a lot for dates but like to watch their favourite shows together (they kick the gang out for a few hours on these nights)

• Darrel brings out the brat in Dallas 24/7 and he teases him all the time until Darrel gets to a point he just looks at him and with a deep voice ‘bedroom now’ and Dallas practically trips over his own feet running to the room

• they are not quiet either! The gang sees them go in Dar’s room and they all groan and leave ASAP

• the gang found out about them when the gang came over and heard Dallas call out ‘daddy!’ And never let him live it down ‘how’s it going daddy’s boy’ ‘I will literally kill you two bitch’

• Darrel never celebrates his birthday after his parents die and Dallas puts an end to that so fast. He goes all out, flowers, presents, sexy time. Anything he can do

• always sitting on Darrel’s lap, clinging to him, hugging. All of it. He’s just amazed and thankful he has such a strong and beautiful bf who loves him

• dar once let dallas do make up on him and Darrel borderline didn’t like how good he looked in it

• Dallas got him to experiment in drag and Darrel felt hella empowered. Now they dress up together sometimes. But dar says only Dallas is allowed to see him like that

• this makes dal feel extra special and close to dar and he loves it

Tim

• sarcastism never stops

• Tim is quiet but really protective, he can say whatever he wants about Dallas but once someone says one bad thing they best be ready to square up

• patching eachother up after fights al the time

• they be kinky bitches man!

• after a nightmare Dallas told Tim a little bit about his ex and it took dallas an hour to talk him out of going to New York to kill this man

• Dallas does strip teases for Tim in his stripper shoes on special occasions.

• Tim didn’t tease him for his make up or anything, he actually found it real pretty on him

• Tim never lets him stay at his own place or bucks after they get together.

• Tim is Demi sexual

• Dallas heard his ex was released out of prison and has a sever panic attack. Tim was right there reassuring him ‘babe I’m right here. No ones gonna hurt you’.

• dals mom comes to town and Tim got Angela and her friends to give her a ‘Tulsa greeting’. Needless to say she left as soon as she came

This was so long and horrible I’m sorry

Special thanks to @sunlitcigars for helping with some ideas and encouraging me to post these

#dallas winston #outsiders #headcanon #dallyboy #jally #steve/dallas #dalbit #twobit #sodapop #darrel curtis #steve randle #sodapop curtis #johnny cade #mental health #ptsd #new york #tulsa #the outsiders #they trash im sorry

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deer-hearted · 5 years ago

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My Reader OC

SO as I decided to post here my Pyre drawings too, I found out that they mostly feature my own version of the Reader, and. Well. Maybe someone would want an explanation of what exactly she is??

Warning: a fuckton of text. I roleplayed as her a lot, and thus have a whole bunch of thoughts and headcanons.

So here she is, my Reader OC!

She's a young human female (she/her), and her name is Agnia ("pure", "holy", a name close to Agnes). She's born under the sign of Geminian ("Star of the First Empress. Those born under it seek knowledge and new experiences.") and has a wit almost as keen as she herself is stubborn.

She has a very unhealthy pale skin, magenta hair (braided first, then cut to a shoulder-length) and light-green eyes. She’s not very feminine and can’t be considered beautiful by most people, as she has quite special facial traits. And most of the time she has either tired or a judging look. She likes to wear loose comfortable clothing and rarely accesorises.

Biography: crippled scholar. She has a very rare marble bone disease (osteopetrosis) which is inborn and has resulted in anemia and thoracic scoliosis (right shoulder is higher than the left). Due to this fact she was a stranger to other kids in her childhood, as she couldn't play with them, she grew up pretty lonely but also attached to her parents and self-sufficient. She studied the world with the help of the books she inherited from her father and through her own experiments she conducted at home. When she was banished to the Downside, she broke her leg and had some more injuries and wasn't able to walk at first, but has recovered well since. And also I hc that all Readers experience mild headaches from time to time due to their expanding psychic abilities, but in her case they become severe migraines.

The reason for participation in Rites: she just wants to free her friends. Actually, as she didn't have friends or even close pals back in the Commonwealth, the Nightwings became her first and only friends, as well as other people Nightwings are friends with (the Fate, for example). She was kinda aloof at first, but the first trio (Hedwyn, Rukey and Jodi) has shown her kindness and she took faith in them. The only person she doesn't like is Volfred, because she sees him as the intruder in her "family", and as he's stiff with her, she's stiff with him back and doesn't really approve and/or want to participate in his revolution schemes. She also is quite neutral to Archjustice, though she finds him rather annoying and arrogant, and has a stable mutual respectful relationship with Oralech.

What she would want to do if she was free? She'd want to travel the world as much as possible and uncover every single one of its secrets. And she'd also like to attend a college, or maybe just a simple real school (she's self-taught, so she doesn't know what it's like). But she never got any of that. Nightwings lost to True Nightwings in the Liberation Rite, and when she called Oralech on a tet-a-tet talk to ease his relationship with Volfred and Nightwings (and because she liked him) he decided to throw his freedom on her - and she threw it back angrily. So Oralech returned to Commonwealth and she stayed. And when everybody decided to finally part ways, she stayed with Bertruda as an apprentice so she finally would be able to actually learn from her, study the special properties of the Downside and learn how to make talismans. She also tries to study Downside's night sky and create a star chart with predictions of when will the next cycle of Rites begin and how long will it be. Surely, as she stays, her anatomy changes into one of a demon, but it surprisingly eases her pain and her state and actually allows her to become healthier and live longer (but will her life be really happy or miserable? who knows).

Personality: she's a proud one, a smart one, and she also doesn't like it when others offer her a special treatment by any means (even if it's just because they care or like her a lot, she suspects that the cause is her disability). She likes to think that she can do everything by herself and is slowly learning the ways of teamwork. She also has a great deal of patience, but can snap at you pretty hard when she can't bear it anymore. It's pretty hard for her to relax because she's used to thinking that the world's all hard work and no play, and she prefers reading to any merrier activity, and humour is kind of an alien thing for her, but she's getting to it too, though she's still pretty introverted.

She takes the idea of someone being in position high enough to evaluate others and judge them quite painfully due to her own condition and other judging her her whole life (which made her an excile one day, duh). So she doesn't like to think of her as of the Leader of the Nightwings, more of a friendly advisor. So when the Rites are over, she silently blames herself for not being able to liberate everybody - and thus for making wrong choices. She has a horrible panic attack when she discovers she's probably supposed to become the next Archjustice and has repeating nightmares since. This is the one and only time she egoistically truly wants the Volfred's Plan to succeed. And, well, she's glad it did.

Love life: with all that she finds a soulmate in Oralech, a union that is pretty harsh in the beginning (though she never thinks of him badly even after his boldest of moves) but gets better at the end. They didn't talk much during the course of the game, but I believe they have a great mutual respect and are very polite and attentive to each other if they happen to have a short conversation before or after the Rites. When Oralech's gone, she realises that she actually likes him and would be glad to talk to him again sometime (at least). So they establish a connection through mail and send a ton of potentially love letters to each other when Oralech excels his writing skills. He even suggests to descend to the Downside to join her at some point, but she gets angry and tells him to embrace his freedom and that if he ever tries to do this she won't ever want to talk to him or see him again. And she means that.

( I like this pairing with my own life and got my girlfriend to roleplay it with me. Together we did a great job at writing some slowburn AU where both Oralech and the Reader unexpectedly find themselves in another universe after they parted ways. Together they explore the strange half-fantasy, half-scifi world, temporarily become pirates, servants to local gods and whatnot. And started a relationship, obviously. )

Also her favourite flower is magnolia (she saw the trees growing on the embankment and liked them a lot but never got close enough) and her favourite food is jam-stuffed buns (they were too expensive for her or her poor enough family to buy on a regular basis, but she enjoyed them nevertheless). :>

#pyre #the reader #my oc #she's the first female oc i made in years myself being non-binary #the previous one was for reborn oc fanfic i wrote with friends lmao #my art #oralech #nightwings #old art #fawn writes

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bluewhale52 · 5 years ago

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Can You Parallel Park?

Pairings: jhs x reader , with appearance from OT7

Word count: 3.5k

Genre: fluff

Summary: parallel parking is stressful. Especially when you have an audience. Especially when your audience is the fray boys of BTS House.

Warnings: none, a few swear words

A/N: my first ever fic! I’ve been holding back publishing this because I’m shy ☺️ but if I don’t start now then when will I?? Please give it a read and leave comments and feedback. I’d really love to write more, and your feedback will help me improve and find my writing rhythm! (Also, I suck at titles)

————————— 💜 ——————————

Finally a parking spot. But it’s a parallel park. And it’s in front of a frat house. That happens to be BTS- the loudest, craziest, most good looking and most notorious on campus.

Now, you’re a master in parallel parking. But that’s when you drive on the LEFT side of the road. Your brain just can’t function now that you have to do it with the steering wheel on the opposite side of what you’re used to.

You pull up, aligning the car properly and start reversing, turning the wheel at the right time to ensure your car would slide into the spot, easily and quickly. But wait, the side of your car looks so dangerously close to the car in front. One slight move you’re sure to scrape it.

So you pull up again. Repeat the process. And repeat. And repeat.

Your cheeks start to heat as you notice there are 2 guys now sitting at the patio, and- you’re very sure of this- watching your sixth attempt to parallel park in front of their house. Then another guy comes out. And another.

So now you’re nowhere near to parking your car and you have an audience. Great.

All right Y/N, you can do this. You parallel park every day back home on busy 2-lane roads, with lines of cars honking at you. This is peanuts.

Seventh attempt. Eighth. And you finally did it at the ninth. Are those guys laughing at you?!

Embarrassed, you grab your bag, get out of the car, lock it, all the while looking at everywhere but the frat house. You can swear you hear clapping as you cross the road.

—

“Hey Y/N, did you park in front of BTS today?” Jungkook asks at dinner in the dining hall.

You give him a death stare. “How did you know?”

“Saw your car when I went there after practice. And some of the guys were talking about this girl who was having a hard time parking in front of the house.”

“I can’t believe I contributed to women driver stereotype.” You scoop your mac and cheese angrily.

‘Well they describe you as cute” you glare at Jungkook, but he only continues. “There’s a party there tonight. I’m going. You’re coming too, ok.”

—

You’re not sure how Jungkook managed to persuade you to come to the party. You have declared house of BTS as your sworn enemy, yet you wonder which of the guys had described you cute. I’ll show you cute, you mutter under your breath as you follow Jungkook into the house.

The music is loud, you can smell booze in the air, and there is just way too much shouting. The girls are shrieking over someone doing a keg stand, the guys are yelling Chug! chug! as if it’s a mating call, and you remember why you hate frat parties.

“Jungkook!!” A pink haired guy and a blue haired guy swoop down on you and your friend, and you immediately get lost in their eyes. The three of them hug, and Jungkook introduces you to these two ethereal beings. You divert your eyes shyly, their eyes are too much, you feel yourself unravelling when they stare at you like this. Then it’s off to the drinks tables, and you settle for a cola. You learn that Jimin and Taehyung are fellow pledgers, like Jungkook, and you really wonder what it is in the BTS house that just draws in the hottest guys on campus.

Jungkook and his two handsome friends are chatting away while you nurse your cola. You’re too shy in social settings like this, and you find it hard to talk to people. Jungkook is being pulled somewhere, and he pulls you along, knowing your shyness, but soon you lose him among the bumping bodies.

So now you’re alone, standing by the kitchen and starting to blend into the walls. You’re deliberating if you should go home, when a very handsome guy approaches you.

“Hey, you ok?” He asks. You stare at him. His face is so symmetrical. Is it even physically possible? He eyes you with concern, so you quickly nod.

“I’m Jin,” he introduces himself. “If you don’t feel so good, just go to the patio, ok? My boys here are good but there’s just way too many people now.” He’s practically shouting over the music. “Some of the seniors are outside and they’re not drinking so they can help you if anything happens, ok?”

You nod again. He grabs your cup of cola and sniff it. “You sure you’re ok? You’re not drinking but you’re looking a bit weird it’s worrying me.”

You gulp. “I’m ok,” you shout back. “I’m just an introvert trapped in my worst nightmare.”

Jin laughs and you swear your car wipers make the same sound. “Ok. So you’re sober enough to help me find my food. Come.”

You let Jin usher you to the kitchen. Jin asks for your name, your major, the standard senior to sophomore questions. Once you step into the kitchen, however, you’re greeted with a loud crash.

“Goddamnit Namjoon!” Jin bellows. You turn your eyes towards who you think is Namjoon, yet another handsome frat boy- what’s with this house seriously?- standing wide eyed over a cabinet that has crashed down... from the wall?

“It just fell,Hyung! I swear!!” He’s as shocked as Jin and you, your three serious faces stand out among a sea of drunken laughter.

“Well lucky it’s just a bunch of chips and cereals.” Jin mumbles as he moves to grab a black garbage bag. You help Jin hold the bag open as he and Namjoon start collecting the debris.

“I swear Hyung, I was just getting some chips and the whole thing just came down.” Namjoon picks some wooden pieces and throws them into the bag. Noticing you, he says, “Just hold the bag open ok, don’t touch any of these. You could get a splinter.”

You can’t help but feeling a little touched at his concern. “It’s ok. Though I think you’re better off taking all these straight to the bin outside.”

Jin grumbles. “You know, I just want a small dinner party with our friends. How did it get blown out of proportion like this. I even cooked! And I don’t even know where my food is.”

“Do you even want to know where your food is?” You say dryly. “Best scenario someone’s eaten if. Worst scenario someone’s having sex on top of it.”

“Aish. When did our house become such a party house?” Jin complains.

You look at the girls hovering in the kitchen. Cleavage, mini skirt and high heels. Eyes on Jin and Namjoon, begging for a glance. Fake laughs and shrills to get their attention.

“You guys are just too good looking. It’s ridiculous how good looking you and your brothers are.” You observe.

You’re treated to Namjoon’s adorable dimples as he laughs, and Jin’s “Yaaaaah, it’s about time you say something about this face.”

“She’s right,” Namjoon picks up more small pieces of wood. “We need to rebrand, Hyung. We’re supposed to be an academic fraternity, but people only know us as party animals.”

The three of you take evidence of Namjoon’s destruction to bin in the yard. You’re grateful for the fresh air, and the company of the two seniors. Jin asks if you want to get back inside, and you politely decline, mentioning you’re thinking of going home anyway.

Jin and Namjoon protest, and insist you stay. They have have sensed your shyness, and they promise you won’t be left without company. They take you to the patio, which despite the amount of people coming and going, is much quieter than inside.

Jin and Namjoon introduce you to their other two brothers- handsome as hell also, like what do you expect at this stage really. While Hoseok is reminds you of sunshine and rainbow, Yoongi is the total opposite, with his black bucket hat, black tshirt, black jeans and black sneakers.

You feel shy again, in the presence of the four ridiculously good looking strangers you’ve just met. You can tell how close the four are. You can tell in their banter, their teasing, and the way they’re so comfortable physically with each other. You feel a bit jealous, wishing you had a group of friends like this.

Making friends has been difficult for you, and you count your lucky stars you get along so well with Jungkook, whom you’d met at your freshman class just a year ago. You’ve become so close that you start to fear that you’d lose him once he joins the BTS fraternity.

Then you hear something that snaps you out of your thoughts.

“Did you hear about the girl who tried to park in front of our house this afternoon?”

“Some of the juniors were talking about it. Why, what happened?”

“She nearly hit Jin’s pick up.”

“I heard the juniors were laughing at her. They said it took her like 15 minutes to park.”

“Aish, those boys should’ve helped her, not laugh at her.”

“Was it even a tight spot?”

“I think Jungkook knows the girl. He said he recognised the car.”

‘Is it difficult, parallel parking? They make you do it when you take your driver’s license test right?”

“We should apply to get at least this portion of the street to be a no parking zone. It gets so narrow once cars are parked on both sides.”

“I can parallel park with my eyes blindfolded.”

“Don’t ever let Namjoon parallel park. He’d hit the car in front AND behind him.”

You’re frozen in embarrassment. It doesn’t matter that they don’t know you’re THAT girl, to your ears, the casual way they talk about the whole thing sounds like they’re making fun of you.

You put your soda cup down a little to hard, and you say your goodbye a little too rough. The four guys are taken aback by your sudden change of mood. They’ve realised you don’t talk much and they’ve made an effort to include you in their conversation, not taking any offence when you give short and terse answers, or even polite smiles as you hide behind your cup. So the anger they see in your body language puzzles them.

“Did we say something wrong?” Hoseok says as he and his brothers watch you stomp your way out of the patio.

“She’s really upset.” Yoongi adds. “We must have said something that pisses her off.”

“No shit, Sherlock. Is she walking home? Does anyone know where she lives?” Jin asks, concerned for your safety.

“But what did we say? It’s weird she just stormed off like that.” Hoseok wonders as he watches you walking away.

“Did you guys see who she came with?” Namjoon asks Hoseok and Yoongi, who have been lounging in the patio since the swarm of party goers came to the house.

“I didn’t notice her until she came here with you two.” Yoongi replies.

“I saw her with Jungkook I think,” Hoseok tries to recall. “Should we tell him? Wait, is she his girlfriend? Maybe she’s pissed off he’s left her with us.”

“Whenever Jimin, Tae and Jungkook are together they just get into a bubble and forget about everyone else.” Namjoon says.

“One of us should at least walk her home right?” Jin watches you walking further away.

“She’s not his girlfriend. Jungkook doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Yoongi says sure of himself. Then it clicks. “Wait, oh shit.”

“Is she... Jungkook said he recognised...” Namjoon pieces the information together.

“Is she seriously walking home?” Jin is practically shouting. He knows Jungkook has a female flatmate, and now he’s put a face to the name Jungkook has very often mentioned to his frat brothers. And Jin knows your and Jungkook’s apartment is a good half hour walk away, and in a much quieter part of campus. Jin is really worried for your safety.

The four guys quickly get up and run after you.

—

You kick a pebble. You can’t hear the music and the revelry of the party anymore and your anger has dissipated, turned into annoyance and regret. You could’ve made a joke, poked a bit of fun at yourself, rather than throwing a tantrum and walking away like this.

But, so what? They’ve been insensitive making fun of people who can’t parallel park. Doesn’t matter how gorgeous they are, they’re just bratty frat boys from THE frat house on campus. They think they own the world.

But... they’ve been very nice to you too. Jin making sure you’re involved in their conversation. Namjoon recommending classes with good professors. Hoseok checking if you need more cola or if you’re hungry. Yoongi’s deadly stare warding off any drunken guys trying to hit on you. You sigh.

“Y/N!”

You stop in your track, heart in your throat, and turn to find the four guys you’ve just been thinking about running toward you.

“God,” Jin is panting. “Why do you walk so fast?”

“What are you guys doing?” You stare at Jin and his brothers. Did they chase you down all the way here?

Yoongi points at Jin. “He’s worried for your safety.”

“So we’re going to walk you home. In case something happens.” Hoseok adds.

You look at the four faces, confused. “Wouldn’t it look suspicious if four guys walk one girl home?”

The four faces look at you then each other, not quite sure with what you mean.

“Well a guy walks a girl home is normal, right? But four guys and one girl? Isn’t that kinda weird” Where the hell are you going with this, Y/N?

“Um,” Namjoon rubs the back of his neck, “we just want to make sure you’re ok.”

“You stormed off and it surprised us how upset you seem..” Yoongi adds, looking away but there is genuine concern in his voice.

”You’re flatmate with Jungkook, right? Your apartment isn’t exactly just around the corner. What if something happens on your way home?” Jin says.

“She’s right though, four guys walking a girl home does look weird. Let’s just do Rock Paper Scissors, guys.” Hoseok suggests.

You shake your head, watching them bicker some more before starting the hand game. You roll your eyes and start walking again, leaving them behind. You hear Jin calls you to wait, then more bickering, then a set of footsteps getting closer to you.

“Y/N, wait.” You turn and find Hoseok has caught up with you. “I’ll walk you home.” You look back and see the other three guys waving goodbye at you, then turning back towards their house. “I don’t normally win at rock paper scissors, glad I did just now though.” He flashes a wide smile at you.

You catch yourself wanting to smile back, how can you not, when he smiles at you like that. And it’s cute how the guys reacted after you left their party so abruptly. But you remember you’re supposed to be annoyed.

“Congratulations, hope you like walking.” You mutter. You hide a smile as Hoseok tries to keep up with your fast pace.

“Slow down Y/N, you’re going to look like you’re trying to run away from me.” Hoseok grabs your wrist, forcing you to match his slower pace.

Your breath hitches as he holds your wrist a few seconds longer, only letting go once you start to walk at a more leisurely pace.

“Slow down and enjoy the scenery.” He smiles.

You scoff. “Brown brick buildings hardly make beautiful scenery.”

Hoseok tuts. “But the trees do, and the shadows from the street lamps do. See, they look like they’re dancing in the breeze.”

“More like bony hands trying to strangle you.”

“Tsk. So macabre, Y/N. You need more sunshine in your life.” Hoseok teases.

“And I suppose you’re the sunshine?” You tease back.

“With a smile like this, of course I am.” He beams.

You can’t help but chuckle. A few minutes pass by, you and Hoseok stroll in silence.

“Y/N,” Hoseok gently calls your name, “I’m sorry about what we said back there.”

You keep looking ahead, embarrassment creeping up again.

“We didn’t know it was you. I.. well we’re really sorry we said all those stuff.”

You sigh. “Doesn’t matter, Hoseok. Whether or not you knew it was me, you guys still made fun of the whole situation.”

“I know, I know. We’re no better than our juniors who laughed at you.”

“It’s very embarrassing you know.” You pout, you don’t feel as upset anymore, but you might as well milk this for all it’s worth. “It’s horrible to be at the receiving end like that.”

“Ah, Y/N,” Hoesoek throws an arm around your shoulder and gives you a gentle squeeze. You blush immediately. “I’m very sorry. Really. All of us are.”

You clear your throat. Hoseok’s arm is still around you, and it doesn’t feel like he’s going to remove it soon. “I’m sorry too, Hoseok. The way I reacted was a bit... childish.” You say softly.

Another squeeze from Hoseok. “No, Y/N. Your reaction was understandable. We were out of line. Forgive us?” He turns to look at you intently.

Your cheeks are burning. You find it hard to answer him. But he mistakes your silence as playful sulking. “Come on, Y/N, forgive us please,” He wraps you in both his arms now. “We’re so sorry. I’ll make it up to you, ok?”

“And how are you going to make it up to me, Hoseok?” You coarsely ask, nerves so obvious in your voice.

Hoseok makes an exaggerated thinking pose. “I’ll send you the biggest bouquet of flowers. So big all the other girls on this campus would be so jealous of you.”

“Hmm. Don’t like flowers.” You say matter of factly.

“What? Why not?!”

You shrug. “Waste of money. They’re expensive. And they’ll just wither and die.”

“I’ll make you dinner.”

“You cook?”

Hoseok scratches his chin. “Well. Jin Hyung will cook and I’ll pass it as my own cooking?”

“That’s cheating, Hoseok.”

“I’ll walk you home everyday.”

“I drive, remember?”

Hoseok winces. You giggle.

“Chocolates?”

“Don’t like sweet stuff.”

And so you keep going back and forth with Hoseok. Your giggles become laughter as the embarrassment of your parallel parking vanishes. You don’t realise Hoseok still has an arm around your shoulder. That he has pulled you closer to him, your side pressed against his. That you eventually put your arm around his waist. And that you rest your head on the nook of his shoulder when he makes you laugh.

—

Hoseok insists walking you all the way up to your apartment. You fish your key out, and unlock your door.

“Do you want anything to drink? Some water?” You ask shyly as you step into your apartment. Feeling that Hoseok is not by your side anymore, you turn around, surprised finding him lingering by the entrance, looking unsure.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it, really. I just figure you might be thirsty after that long walk.” You stutter.

“No, no, Y/N. I’m sorry, it’s just..” Hoseok steps inside and nervously looks around your apartment, trying to give you an explanation but unable to.

“It’s just...” Hoseok repeats, and you find yourself holding your breath, staring at him. In the harsh light of your kitchen, he still looks so breathtakingly beautiful. Soft dark brown hair, gentle eyes, sharp cheekbones, oh my god that jawline, and those lips. Lips? Get a hold of yourself, Y/N.

“... can I have your number?” Hoseok finally asks. He smiles shyly at you and he thinks you look so cute blinking, surprised at his question. He likes the feeling of your arm around his waist, how your laughter is so free once you’re comfortable with him, how you fit so nicely against him. He wants more.

Hoseok pulls out his cellphone and hands it to you. You gingerly take it and puts in your number. Hoseok takes his phone back and gives you a missed call. “Now you have my number too.”

You take your phone out and saves his number. Then you realise. “hoseok, how are you going back to your house?”

Hoseok shrugs. “I’ll walk.”

“God, I’m so sorry. I made you walk all the way here and back.” You eye your couch. Should you offer him to stay over? Is that too forward?

Hoseok smiles and shakes his head. “I told you I’m happy I won rock paper scissors, didn’t I? I really am happy. I enjoyed the walk with you. Yeah the walk back will be lonely...” he taps his phone, “but you’ll keep me company, right?”

“Of course.” You answer giddily, nodding your head.

Hoseok steps out of your apartment, you hold the door open, reluctant to see him go. You stare at each other for a few seconds, both of you smiling nervously. You gather your courage to offer him your couch for the night, there’s no loss in asking. As you open your mouth however, he leans in and gives your the sweetest kiss on your cheek.

Your hand reaches for the spot on your cheek where his lips have just been. He smiles again and tweaks your nose gently.

“Get inside and lock up, ok? I’ll call you.” He says, as he starts to leave, walking backwards so he can still see you. “Don’t forget to lock your door.” He reminds you.

You smile at him and gives him a wave goodbye. You close your door, lock it then rests your head against it.

And you can’t hide your broad smile as you hear your phone ringing. Sunshine is calling you, as promised.

#bts x reader #bts x you #bts fanfic #bts fan fiction #jhs x reader #jhs oneshot #jhs fluff #bts fluff

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chipper9906 · 5 years ago

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And Then You Were Gone, In A Rush Of Colors

Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 6105

WARNINGS: Major Character Death (Temporarily), Violence, Blood

Status: Oneshot- Complete

Summary: He hadn't noticed, at first. Not until he stumbled back slightly away from Castiels body, eyes fixating on the open wound from the angel blade, and realising with a sickening horror that it was no longer a dark gray.

It was striking, so vibrant that it demanded his attention.

'This is red.'

Set during Episode 3 of Season 9, "I'm No Angel", in an alternate universe where you see colors the first time you touch your soulmate.

* * *

Dean never really liked the concept of having a soulmate. Except, that wasn't entirely true. He ate that shit up as a kid, seeing the happiness that radiated off his parents whenever they were together, his mom ensuring him that "Someday, you'll have that with your soulmate. And you'll be so happy to have found them, that you probably won't even notice the colors."

The colors...

How could he not notice them, if they were to appear? Nearly forty years of living on an Earth that consisted solely of different shades of a muted gray, he was fairly certain he'd take notice of seeing everything in a completely different way, no matter how happy he was feeling.

When he had asked a hunter that had found his soulmate what it was like out of plain curiosity, it was hard not to get frustrated at his attempts at explaining it. It wasn't his fault, of course. How do you describe something that the other person has never seen?

Obviously, it's not all about the colors. No, that was just a side part of what was really happening.

Meeting your soulmate, for the very first time.

Two souls destined to become entwined, finally being joined together. Like the final piece of a puzzle, where everything falls into place.

In his teenage years, the idea didn't appeal to him all that much. Despite being told countless times how his soulmate would be the perfect person for him, the idea that the person he is to spend the rest of his whole life with was already chosen for him seemed completely unfair. It would become such a huge part of his life, shouldn't he get to decide who he loves?

That wasn't the biggest problem, though. The problem was, as much as he hated to admit it, the thought of having a soulmate was terrifying to him. Not when he finds them, but when he loses them.

Because in their line of work, it's inevitable. Getting close to someone is a risky game that almost always ends in death and suffering.

The first time he had seen the effects of losing your soulmate was with his dad. He barely has any memories of his father before Mary was so untimely ripped away from him. He does remember how different his dad felt after. It became a rarity to see him smile, and he became cold and distant, even to his own sons. He no longer had the comforting touch of a loving wife, and now the only respite he found was at the bottom of a bottle.

Dean has already lost people he cared about, was keenly aware of the pain that brought on. But he knew that it wouldn't even begin to compare to the pain he would feel in losing his soulmate, and he just doesn't think he would have the emotional capacity to deal with it. He would fall right into the steps of his father; a bitter, ageing man who no longer had a purpose in his life than that of revenge.

Sometimes, he isn't sure whether seeing what happened to Sam with Jess validated his opinion more, or made him see the other side to having a soulmate. After all, he'd be blind not to see just how happy Jessica made Sam. He could feel it radiating off of his little brother the second he introduced him to Jess, and it had pained Dean slightly to see how happy Sam had been without him.

Once, and only once, when they had both had a bit too much to drink, Dean had asked Sam what it was like to have a soulmate.

"It was kind of like... I don't know, like being with them was as natural as breathing. Like you had already known them your whole life."

Dean had never regretted asking a question as much as when he asked Sam if he had a favorite color, as the smile on his face as he reminisced about his time with Jess dropped from his face.

"Yellow. It was the first color I noticed. It was bright and just... there. Screaming at you to notice. It was..." Sam trailed off slightly, bringing the bottle of beer up to his lips and drinking deeply from it. "It was the last color to go, faded with all the others not long after..."

Dean didn't need to hear the rest.

Seeing other people, strangers, out on the streets with their soulmate, seeing how blissfully happy they were would always ignite a deeply buried part of Dean that yearned for that kind of connection. But it was buried down for a reason, as he had come to accept that the negatives far outweighed the positives, especially for a hunter.

Now, every fleeting touch from a stranger that passed by, every accidental brush of a hand from a witness or an officer, every person he fell into bed with, he hoped that there would be no flash of color, no sudden spark of realization. He hoped that he would live the rest of his life in gray.

Then again, he is Dean Winchester. It seemed that God himself had it out for him, because his worst nightmare came true in the cruelest way that even he couldn't have seen coming.

To say that the past few weeks had been an emotional roller-coaster would be an understatement. First, finding out that the trials of heaven were going to kill Sammy, trying to stop Sam before he finished the last trial, only to realize the damage had already been done. And all at the same time, seeing the angels be cast down from heaven onto earth, feeling the dread in the pit of his stomach that one of them could be Cas.

As it turned out, it would have been easier. It felt like he was being pulled apart by fear. The fear of knowing that without some sort of miracle, that Sam wasn't going to make it. Then there was the other overwhelming fear, the fear that there was a reason that Castiel wasn't responding to his prayers.

Just... Not the reason he was expecting. Human. Castiel was human now. Human, and very alone. He wouldn't be able to zap on over to them in a millisecond as he once did. Metatron had spat him out in the middle of nowhere, and it killed Dean that he couldn't just drop everything to go find him and bring him home. No, he couldn't do that to Sammy. Not when he was hanging onto life by a thread.

If he was being honest with himself, he wasn't sure why he was praying to Castiel in the first place. It had become a sort of reflex to him how, whenever facing something that seemed out of his control.

Castiel was an angel. A soldier of God. He had fought tooth and nail through hell, to drag Dean's soul out of there. He had patched Dean's soul back together, knitted his ripped apart body back together, and placed his soul back where it belonged.

Castiel was pure power. Almost like a 'fix it' button, where having him nearby automatically made him feel safer, knowing that an angel had his back.

Then again, even if Castiel was still an angel, would he have been able to heal Sam? Castiel had said it himself, the trials were damaging Sam in a way that even he couldn't fix. So if that was the case, what was there left to do? What could he possibly do, to save the life of his little brother?

As he had said, only a miracle could save Sam now. Praying to the other angels was a risky move, considering he had managed to single-handedly piss nearly all of them off by putting a stop to the apocalypse. Who knew that putting a wrench in God's plan would anger a bunch of all-mighty beings whose only purpose was to serve God?

But then, the miracle was received, his prayer had been answered. An angel; Ezekiel, had taken pity on him. Knowing how angels actually were (Especially when he thought back to the way Castiel was the first few months he knew him), having an angel willing to help was... Very un-angel like.

Still, he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. If this angel said he would be able to save Sam, he had to take that chance, right? Even if it meant tricking his little brother into letting Ezekiel in, that was just a sacrifice that had to be made. He would take a pissed off Sam over a dead Sam any day.

For the first time in a long time, things were looking up. There was still the stress and worry in the back of his mind that Castiel had yet to find his way to the bunker, especially considering he had no way of contacting Cas. Despite that, Sam was getting better. Sam's coughing fits were now far and few between, and he no longer saw that dark stain on Sam's tissues that he knew to be blood. Once Sam was well enough again, they'd finally be able to go and find Cas, no problem.

Except, it doesn't work that way. Not when Ezekiel is telling him that Castiel is now a wanted man. That now the angels on earth, filled with fury at being kicked from their home, are pinning the blame solely on Castiel. They want their revenge, and Dean would be scared for him even if he was still an angel.

But he's not. Castiel is out God knows where, as mortal as they are, possibly with no idea that there are a group of seriously ruffled angels after him.

So that's how they find themselves where they are now, racing towards the room they had been told where Castiel is, with no clue if they were too late. If the reaper had gotten to him before they could.

There's no time to lose. The two of them come to a skidding halt in front of the door, and Dean brings up a foot to kick harshly at the weak spot beside the handle to the door. The wood splinters and shrieks from the force, flinging open and nearly rebounding into the both of them as they charge through.

Dean was certain he had never had a feeling of relief taken from him as quickly as he had. The few seconds he caught a glimpse of Castiel, admittedly looking a little worse for wear, but alive. Then, his gaze had slipped over to the red-headed reaper crouched over him, angel-blade still firmly grasped in her hand.

"Cas?!"

The relief was yanked away before the blade had even pierced Castiel’s abdomen.

Charging at her doesn't get him far. Well, not towards her, anyway. Her hand is in the air, and then so is he, catching himself on the top of the kitchen counter before slamming into the wall, sliding back down to the floor. Through his disorientation, he sees a flash of movement where Sam tries the exact same thing as him, only to get the same treatment. Sam sails through the air, crashing into the closet on the other side and disappearing into a pile of neatly hung clothes and shattered wood panels.

The reaper kicks away the angel blade he had dropped, and he knows she's saying something, but he isn't listening. He's solely focused on being as quiet as he can, sneaking closer and closer and as she moves towards Sam.

Something shiny glints out of the corner of his eye, and he sees the handle of the angel blade sticking out from Cas. His heart constricts painfully at the sight, but now is not the time.

Now, this bitch has to die.

He yanks the blade out of Cas, holding it tightly in his hand as he approaches. Watching her strike Sam in the face once he struggles to his feet only adds fuel to the fire, making it all too satisfying to see the shock in her face when he pushes that blade right through her stomach, watching the bright flash of light pour from her entire slowly fade away.

He can barely hear anything through the sound of his blood pounding in his ears, staring down at the reaper's body with complete disdain. It's like a painful electric shock when he remembers why they're there, head snapping over to Castiel, hanging onto the foolish hope that he might have survived.

"Cas?" Dean asks, the blade slipping from his fingers and dropping to the floor, racing over to Castiel’s side.

"Cas?" He tries again, this time louder, as if calling his name louder might wake him up. He lifts his arms up, splaying out his hands on Castiel’s shoulders before moving them up to grasp desperately at his face, searching for any sign of life. A twitch of a muscle, the rise and fall of his chest, anything.

"Cas!"

His voice breaks as his throat tightens, the realization he had tried so hard to force away beginning to sink in.

That's when it happens.

He hadn't noticed, at first. Not until he stumbled back slightly away from Castiel’s body, eyes fixating on the open wound from the angel blade, and realizing with a sickening horror that it was no longer a dark gray.

It was striking, so vibrant that it demanded his attention. 'This is red' his mind helpfully supplies as he stared down at Castiel, dumbstruck by what he was seeing.

Castiel’s skin was no longer a light shade of white, now replaced by a tan color that, as he looks down at his own hands in shock, realizes it is nearly the same as his own, if not slightly darker.

In normal circumstances, he would be taking in his surroundings, drinking in all the new pleasing visuals, matching names to colors for the first time in his life.

That's not what he's thinking about right now. Right now, it's the gut-wrenching, heart punching fact that for the past five years, his soulmate was standing right in front of him, unbeknownst to the both of them.

Angels were never assigned a soulmate because, well, they don't have souls. But then Cas became human, and he must have developed his own soul. Or perhaps this was God's plan all along, for Cas to be the exception? The one angel to be given a soul.

After all this time, it was his best friend he was destined to spend the rest of his life with.

And now, Cas was gone.

He had always told himself that he didn't want a soulmate. That it simply wasn't worth the pain. Now, he wished he had known sooner. He wished the world had bloomed into color the second he pushed that blade into Castiel’s heart, the first time they met. Even if it made losing him all the more painful, what hurt more was knowing that all this time, he could have been with his soulmate.

It was too cruel, for him to find out the truth after Castiel had already been taken away from him.

"No..." Dean whispers in disbelief, standing up and taking a few unsteady steps backwards.

Already, the colors were beginning to fade. He hadn't had them for long, and yet, he could still see that his vision had begun to change. They were still there, but not as... Demanding. Not as there, in your face. They were beginning to dull, and Dean knew it wouldn't be long before everything returned to the murky shades of gray, black and white.

Something shuffles around over to the side, and he glances over to see that Sam had managed to get to his feet, staring down at Castiel’s body, laid out on the armchair. Dean's vision is brought back to Castiel, such a painful thing to see, yet he can't find it in himself to look away.

"Sam, he's gone," Dean tells him, and saying it out loud only seems to make it feel all the more real, does nothing but make the heartache in his chest grow stronger.

Sam moves forward, towards Castiel’s body, and drops down to his knees as Dean had, earlier before. Dean briefly wonders if Sam needs the time to mourn as he does, but then looks to Sam in utter confusion when he gently holds a hand over Castiel’s body.

In the commotion of everything, he had somehow almost forgotten that there was an angel taking shelter inside his brother. Watching an angel heal is still such a miraculous sight as it was the first time he saw it, the cuts and open stab wounds seemingly being erased, replaced by smooth, untouched skin.

As the last of the cuts disappear from Castiel’s body, Sam suddenly bolts up to his feet, stumbling backward at the movement and crashing back into the wall, collapsing down to the floor. There's a few seconds where he watches Sam in complete bewilderment before the concern for his brother wins out, taking a few steps towards him with his arms outstretched.

"Dean..."

So many times he had heard that deep, gravelly voice calling his name. He had heard it yelled in fury or in panic, heard it muttered in frustration, and heard it spoken in the most uninterested, monotone angel tone, back when Cas still followed the rules to a tee.

Hearing Cas his soulmate call his name now, had never sounded better.

"Hey... Hey! Yeah..." He spluttered out, rushing back over to Cas side and placing his hand on Cas side once again, letting it slide down to his leg as he takes in Castiel’s confused expression.

Castiel’s eyes go wide as he stares up at Dean, then snapping over to Sam's unconscious form on the floor nearby.

"And Sam." Castiel finishes, looking back to Dean, still with the wide-eyed expression on his face.

It suddenly hits Dean that maybe, Castiel was seeing everything in color for the first time, and he can't even begin to imagine how confused Castiel must be feeling right now, not only having no idea why he's suddenly seeing in color, but also how in the hell he's even alive right now.

Though, judging by the way he's looking at Dean, eyes darting down to the hand resting on his leg, he seems to be starting to figure the former out.

"Cas...? " Sam says in confusion, his expression matching his voice. "You're okay?"

Castiel doesn't seem to know how to answer that, remaining silent as he looks up to Dean, trying to figure out how he was okay after being stabbed through the stomach by April. It happened, he knew it had happened. He felt the agonizing, fiery pain as it pierced through his body, and within seconds, it was gone. Everything was gone.

Castiel couldn't help but feel slightly puzzled when Dean pushes up and away from him, his worried expression changing into a hardened, much more familiar guarded expression he was used to seeing from Dean.

As it turns out, Dean was right. Losing his soulmate had been one of the more incredibly painful moments of his life. And now that he had gone through it, he never, ever wanted to experience it again.

"Never do that again!" He demands, keeping his voice low and scratchy as not to reveal how vulnerable he was feeling right now.

Castiel blinks up at him in bewilderment before answering with a somewhat unsure sounding "Alright."

Not exactly the answer Dean was hoping for, but at this point, he was way too relieved to care all that much. He takes a slight step back, wiping a hand down his face as if he could wipe away the leftover adrenaline with it. There was a lot they were going to have to talk about, especially considering Castiel might not even know that he is his soulmate. It must be quite a shock to Castiel, both coming back to life and suddenly seeing everything in color, especially since no angel had ever had a soulmate before.

Once he drops his hand back down from his face, Dean notices that Castiel is still staring at him, as if he's seeing him for the first time in his life. It was starting to make Dean feel uncomfortable, seeing the way Castiel seemed to be analyzing every inch of him, his eyes frequently darting back to study his face.

"Cas, you... Stupid question, but you alright buddy?"

Castiel keeps staring at him for a few more seconds before he opens his mouth to answer. He doesn't speak right away, instead closing his mouth again and swallowing deeply, not taking his eyes off Dean's face as he finally responds.

"Your eyes..." Castiel murmurs in amazement, the faintest of a smile twitching at the corner of his lips. "They're green..."

A bark of laughter escapes Dean, relief bubbling from him after all that tension, all that terror. He shakes his head slightly, chuckling fondly at the gobsmacked sounding tone of Castiel’s voice.

His laughter slowly begins to die off, though he still has a small smile on his face, matching the one Castiel was giving him in return. At the same time, he racked his brain to figure out a way to bring up, well, this.

He wasn't sure if it had always been there between the two of them, if he had never noticed or perhaps, pretended not to notice it. But now, knowing that Castiel was his soulmate, it felt impossible to ignore. He wondered if Castiel felt it too, struggling to imagine any kind of situation where Castiel had felt it in the past.

But now, seeing the way Castiel was looking at him, he knew something had changed.

"Dean..."

'Screw words' is what briefly flutters through his mind as he drops back down in front of Castiel, grasping the sides of his face in his hands and kissing him for all he's got. He's well aware of the fact that Sam is still in the room, having seen him struggle back to his feet a few moments before.

Castiel’s eyes briefly widen at this as his hands shoot up to grab at Dean's arms that were still holding his face, feeling quite dumbstruck by what was happening. Something that he never thought could happen between him and Dean.

His fingers loosen their death grip in Dean's jacket, knuckles no longer as tight and wound up, relaxing into a softer hold. He can feel the slight tremor of Dean's muscles under his skin, still shaking from everything that had happened.

A somewhat awkward-sounding cough breaks them apart, and they both look over to a red-faced Sam, who is staring down at the floor as if there was nothing more important right now than the state of his shoes.

"Apologies, Sam." Castiel is first to break the silence, seeing that Dean was trying his best not to laugh at the unapologetic sounding apology, even though he was feeling a little bit embarrassed himself.

"Yeah, uh, sorry Sammy." Dean adds onto the apology.

"It's just uh..." Dean looks out to the window, a new color catching his eye. Almost immediately, he realizes which one it is, and turns back to his brother with a grin. "I can see why yellow was your favorite color"

Dean wished he had a camera on him right at that time to record Sam's reaction. First, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion along with his tilted head, and Dean could physically see the gears turning in his head. Better yet was when it all clicked into place, mouth dropping open slightly, eyebrows no longer furrowed but instead raised up near to his hairline, eyes following his own finger which was switching between pointing at Dean, and then Castiel.

"You... Cas... Is he your..."

"You know Sam, it quite interesting how similar, yet also so different your eyes are to Dean’s. The base color is the same, and yet... I can see Dean’s in them, but at the same time, they're very much your own." Castiel notes, always the observant one.

"Huh," is all Sam can say to that, huffing out a laugh, looking up at the ceiling in exasperation. "Guess I owe Charlie twenty bucks now."

Before Dean even has a chance to ask what that even meant, Sam began to sway on the spot, quickly shooting a hand to steady himself on the wall behind. Dean was up from his crouched position in a flash, holding out his own arm for support if Sam needed it. It's only a few seconds before Castiel is by his side, concern on his face as he watches Sam try to blink away his incoming unconsciousness.

"Sammy?" Dean asks worriedly, ready to catch Sam if he was to drop to the floor.

"I'm okay. I'm okay... Just... A little wiped out. Think I hit my head pretty hard when that reaper threw me." Sam reassured them, raising a hand to his throbbing head as he spoke.

"C'mon, shake it off man. Cas got stabbed and he walked it off." Dean attempted to joke, though fails to deliver the line as well as he usually would through his concern.

"Yeah... How did you walk that off?" Sam asked, pushing himself back up and away from the wall, keeping one arm pressed against the wall, just in case. "We both saw it. You looked... You looked pretty dead to me."

"I don't know what happened," Castiel answered honestly, glancing down at his own bare chest and stomach, which was no longer littered with cuts.

"I felt April stab me, and then... Then I was awake."

"Hey, as long as you're alive, and you're you, I'm not going to question it too much," Dean deflected their questions, resting a hand on Castiel’s shoulders and giving it a fond squeeze. "You have no idea how glad I am to have you back."

Sam's pained groan snaps the two of them out of their gaze, gentle smiles replaced with worried frowns as Sam rubs at his painful head.

"I think... I think I need to go lie down for a while. I'm not feeling too hot." Sam mumbles to them, already stumbling past them and towards the door.

"Sammy," Dean calls after him, pulling Baby's keys out of his pocket and tossing them to Sam, who had stopped and turned in the doorway.

"Get yourself settled. Me 'n Cas need to talk for a bit." Dean instructs, gesturing at the dead body of April and the mess they had made in the scuffle.

Sam gives him a thankful, but weak smile in response, tucking the keys away in his pocket before making his way out of the room, heavy footsteps leading away through the hall before becoming too quiet to hear.

Now, it was just the two of them. Castiel has a hand on his own arm as he shuffled somewhat awkwardly on his feet, trying to figure out how best to approach the subject and break the silence they had found themselves in. Dean meanwhile was stuck between looking at Castiel and the dead reaper on the ground, a million questions in his head, no idea which one he should ask first.

"So, uh... We gonna talk about this?" Dean asked, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck.

"We probably should."

"You're gonna have to give me a minute here. It’s... A lot to take in."

"I don't really understand what's happening myself. Angels were never supposed to have soulmates."

"But you're not-"

"Not an angel anymore. But Dean, I'm not the first angel to lose their grace and turn mortal. It’s rare, and usually kept quiet, but it's happened. Never, in any of those times, has the angel been given a soulmate. It just... Doesn't happen."

"So, what does this mean? Do you have a soul now? Can that even happen?"

"I... I suppose I do. After all, it's not possible to have a soulmate without one." Cas summarised, placing a hand on his chest as if he might be able to feel his soul residing inside him.

"Wow. First angel to have a soulmate," Dean said with a small huff of laughter, giving Castiel a teasing shove on his shoulder. "Sorry I was the one chosen for you."

Castiel looked up to Dean with a confused frown, rearing his head back slightly at the insult Dean had just given to himself.

"Why would you be sorry?" Castiel asked

"Eh, well," Dean began awkwardly, shrugging his shoulders. "It's not exactly like you were expecting a soulmate, y'know? Must be kinda disappointing to find out it's me."

"Dean... What are you talking about?" Castiel asked, stepping slightly closer to Dean. "I wish you could see your soul as I once could. To see how bright it shines, how beautiful it is. If you could see it, you would know you’re wrong. You're a good man, Dean. I couldn't have asked for a better soulmate."

Dean looked taken aback by Castiel’s words, head snapping up from the ground to lock eyes with Castiel, looking to see how sincere Castiel was being with his words.

"If anything, I should be the one apologizing." Castiel added.

"What?"

"Dean, we both know you never wanted a soulmate. You were quite vocal about it. I'm not an idiot Dean, I know I don't fit into the category of your usual romantic endeavors, so I'm sure I wasn't what you were expecting. Besides, I..."

Castiel trailed off, an ashamed and infuriated look appearing on his face.

"I'm no use to you now. To either of you. My powers are gone, and now... I can barely take care of myself. I've only been human for a few weeks, and I already managed to get tricked and tortured by a reaper.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is... I understand. If you're not interested in... If you don't want me as your soulmate, I'll understand."

Castiel was expecting Dean to look relieved at this, perhaps even happy to hear he didn't have to be pressured into anything. To his surprise, Dean actually looked pained at his words. He could see his jaw shifting in place, and wondered if he was trying to work up the courage to say something, or if he was perhaps grinding his teeth.

The last thing he was expecting was for Dean to tug at his arms, pulling him forward into his chest. Dean wrapped his arms tight around Castiel’s back, knowing he wouldn't be ready to let go for a while. Castiel was warm against him, and he could feel the faint beat of his heart through his chest. A heart that, not too long ago, had stopped beating. The thought makes him tighten his hold.

It takes Castiel a few shell shocked moments to remember it was customary in these kinds of moments to hug back. He uncertainty lifts his arms up, deciding to match Dean's position and wrap them around Dean's back. He can feel the tightness of Dean's back muscles under his fingers, but they seem to soften a little once Castiel places his hands over them. Cas can't help but smile a little at this, feeling as if he still had a bit of the healing touch he once had as an angel.

"I don't care if you're an angel, or if you're human. I don't care if you can't do all the things you did for us before. That's not what I care about. I care about you, Cas. Not what you can do for us." Dean tells him, letting his hands slide from Castiel’s back to his arms as he pulls away from the hug, keeping a light hold on his hands. "I don't need you because of your power. I need you. I need you in that stupid trench coat and tie. I need you and your crazy obsession with bees. I need you and your compassion for humans. I need you and your rebellious nature. I need my best friend. I need my soulmate."

And before Castiel can get anything out in response, Dean gives him a warm smile, tugging him towards the door of the room.

"C'mon, Cas. Let's go home."

- - -

It wasn't all smooth sailing from there, as it never is. Dean knew the angels were still out there, still angry, searching high and low for Cas. Ezekiel knew it too, and it wasn't all that surprising that he brought it up one morning, demanding that Castiel had to leave for all of their safety.

Dean knew there was a time when he would have caved in. Ezekiel may have been the only thing holding his brother together right now, and there was no way he was going to gamble on his brother's life.

Things were different now, though. Dean had a soulmate now, how could he possibly abandon Cas to face the angels on his own? Ezekiel always sort of seemed like a no-nonsense kind of angel, so Dean had thought the best approach would be to present as much evidence as possible in Cas' defense. Even Ezekiel couldn't deny that it had been impossible for him to locate Castiel with his Enochian warding tattoo, and Dean brought up how impossible it would be to find Castiel, combining that with, not only how difficult it was to find the bunker, but also how damn near impenetrable the thing was.

That wasn't what swayed him, though. He had never really thought to bring up the whole soulmate thing with Ezekiel, and Ezekiel looked just as confused as they did when they found out, citing that it was impossible and that it had never happened before.

But as Dean began to explain further, he could have sworn he could see a flash of hope in Sam’s Ezekiel's eyes, the first sort of emotion he had ever seen from the angel. He wasn't too sure why until Ezekiel began talking about how it must have been a sign of God, how else would an angel have miraculously developed their own soul, then been given a soulmate?

Dean wasn't all that sold on the idea, finding it hard to believe that the big man upstairs had any interest in the two of them, let alone the fact that he was fairly certain God wasn't even home anymore.

Then again, Ezekiel had a point. If God is the only being that can create a soul, as the angels claimed, then how else did Cas get his soul? And if God did, how far back did this go? If he had been destined a soulmate since birth, was he also Castiel’s since creation? Did God pair them together, billions of years before he was even born? Was it part of God's plan all along, for Castiel to lose his grace, and to become human?

He didn't really know what to think. It was almost too much to think, and quite frankly, he didn't want to argue with Ezekiel about it. Not if it meant that Cas got to stay, here, at home, with Dean, where he should be.

One of the reasons why Dean was so unsure about having a soul mate was that he feared everything would change. He thought that the moment he saw his soulmate, he would be desperate to get out of the hunter's life and settle down like all the others, to go and find that white picket fence, apple pie slice of domestic life.

It's not what happened, however. Everything is pretty much as it was. But now, now there's one more addition to the bunker. Now, he has a second person to help fret over Sam with. Now, there's another voice, this one much gravelier, humming along to whatever song is playing on the old, crackly radio in the kitchen as he cooks. Now, there are warm touches and fond smiles whenever they see each other. Life is as it always is, but now, he has his soulmate. Now, he's happier.

One night, after a filling meal of burgers, as they lazed around the bunkers table with beers in their hands and their stomachs, Sam had asked him that now he could see them, what his favorite color was.

There was barely any hesitation for him, barely any time he needed to think. He simply looked over to Castiel, reaching out for his hand under the table, smiling affectionately at the man next to him before answering.

"Blue."

#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel fanfiction #castiel/dean winchester

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writingsilly · 5 years ago

Text

Underwater (ch. VII)

Description: Your bad behaviour led you to stay the whole summer in your town of birth with your grandfather. The very first day, you went for a walk to the beach and had an encounter with a stranger that would change your whole life.

Pairing: Reader x Merman!Taehyung.

Genre: Angst, suspense, sci-fi.

Trigger warnings (!!!): Blood, swearing, angst.

Click here to read in AO3!

VII: Two Nations

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It was all about appearances, you had decided. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, Taehyung had stopped looking like an evil human-like creature. For a second, his gaze was not lurking in the dark, but rather looking for a friend. It was easy to simply think of him as a heartless being, someone who only cared about himself, and you were sure, without a doubt, that he was it. However, when the moonlight hit his face, caressing his sharp features, it led your mind elsewhere. You suddenly wondered if he felt scared to be on the surface. But you could not ask. He liked to keep everything to himself, only opened his mouth when necessary, and even then, it was like cracking a code. Every word he uttered insinuated something else, and as much as you tried, whatever was hiding beneath was just out of reach.

These questions haunted you, even after you got back home. There was a ticking sound constantly there, in your head, and it seemed to grow louder when you were ready to get some shut-eye, and, one way or the other, you ended up spiralling around the same matter: him. Replaying in your head every word he had uttered since you met him, as if you would somehow unveil the hiding meaning, but it only made it more difficult to remember his exact statements. You would doubt yourself. Was that what he had said? Had he used that word? You were not sure anymore.

It was near six in the morning when you got up and headed to the kitchen. After taking out a pan, a bowl and a whisk, you looked across the living room. The curtains were not shut and, outside the window, you noticed the soft outline of an old chair. You did not try to look any farther than that piece of furniture, the anticipation was not exhilarating anymore, thanks to a certain someone.

Fair enough, you had never been a fan of the dark; the younger you was terrified of it, actually. However, somewhere in the middle of that long car ride, when you were moving to the city with your father, when the radio could not be heard anymore, you found yourself staring outside the window. It might have been the lack of sleep, but the lights stopped shining over you. For just a few hours, you forgot where you were going to, and after being stressed by the move and by leaving your grandfather behind, it had been the first time the darkness had offered you a helping hand. Almost as if someone had said: “it will be okay”. The possibilities waiting for you in the city were suddenly in front of you, glowing in the dark, clearly there for you.

That sense of security faded as soon as you woke up the next day in the middle of a house that was not yours, even if your father had paid for it, even if it said so on paper.

A wild thought jumped on you, making you tear your eyes away from the window, the idea of Taehyung hiding in the dark, ready to pounce as soon as you let your guard down. You walked over there, closed the curtains and reminded yourself what you needed to focus on right then: pancakes for an extremely early breakfast. Making sure to make enough for two, and to not burn them in the process, you also made some orange juice so you could swallow down those… Chances were, they were dry.

Your grandfather’s door creaked at five to seven in the morning. His steps, slow but steady, could be heard getting near. You faintly wondered if he had had a debate with himself on whether or not to get out and face you given what had happened yesterday. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he had. Your family was known for its stubbornness, and you were no different, but that was not the issue in hand, was it? An explanation would have been nice, right? And the curiosity was killing you.

Finally, he walked into the room, looking like he had not slept all night. You were used to it, watching your family work until they passed out, or walking around looking like zombies because of sleep-deprivation, but only then it had hit you with such force… When he emerged from his room with eyebags reflecting a long and lonely night, and the little hair he had left on his head all over the place… It broke your heart. It brought back a feeling you had worked so hard to keep buried deep down. You were young when it happened, but it was impossible to ignore, the big, grey cloud over your grandfather’s head. It followed him around like a stray dog he had decided to feed one time, the more you fed him, the more he would be around.

It was rather difficult to come to terms with the fact that your grandfather was getting worse and worse with every passing day. Grief changed everyone, right? You were sad as well, then why did it seem to be more serious when it was about him? Your father did not give you a good explanation, such a characteristic thing of him to do, but he had say something that stuck with you till then:

“I offered him a hand many times. It’s time for him to decide whether to keep swimming or to drown.”

It was as if you were walking on eggshells for months. You had to be careful not to mention her, not to say the name of your own grandmother... Getting rid of most of her stuff certainly helped, even though it had been extremely difficult for your grandfather to let go, but every now and then, you would find a lipstick tube laying around, or maybe a hairclip, you, somehow, had looked past, and it was down the rabbit hole again for him. It took him four lonely, and surely harsh, years, but he had climbed back up from that ditch. He was himself again, just like you remembered him.

Until now.

“Good morning,” you smiled but you received no answer, “I made you breakfast.”

“No, thank you.”

Had he noticed you were gone all night? No, impossible. He would have mentioned it… Right?

But then again, you were not exactly on speaking terms. Silly of you to assume that a bunch of pancakes would set things right… It was worth the try, though.

After taking a quick shower and grabbing your backpack, you walked out of the house, using the back door, of course, because you would not have been able to stand your grandfather’s glare this early in the morning.

There was a slight smell of rain in the air. You looked up and stared at what it looked like a bunch of unforgiving clouds ready to burst any minute now. You thought about Jungkook and Hoseok, about the city, were they already enjoying the rain? You wondered if they had decided to respect your tradition, or if they had chosen to forget about it altogether, you also hoped they had done the latter only because it would make things easier. The thought of them stuck in the playground tunnel in the middle of a storm made your chest feel tight.

Either way, there was nothing you could do about it.

With the hope of having at least twenty minutes more, you rushed your pace. Unlike the other day, as you got near the city centre, you did not notice a lot of people outside. No one judging you, no one glaring at you, but, somehow, you did not feel at ease. With every step, your breathing would halt for just a few seconds, and then more, a second too long. It was not until you reminded yourself to inhale, when you realised you were not breathing at all. The air seemed thicker than usual, you could not breathe enough to fill your lungs, it was even harder to exhale it completely.

The fountain, resting in the middle of town, was some sight, you decided. You definitely remembered it from years ago, although, your perspective of it had changed. Looking at it now, it was not the same sculpture of an angel looking at you from the sky. Although it was not about how much you grew, which was not a significant amount, it was rather more about finding a new source of fear. A decayed angel, attached to a fountain that had stopped working a long time ago was nothing compared to what could chase you until your legs could not take it anymore. Nevertheless, the nightmares were still fresh in your mind. The feeling of rough wings scratching your skin, a high pitched scream coming deep down from that marble figure had proved to be enough to make you avoid that particular area of town for at least a year.

As you got closer, you noticed the dark water surrounding the sculpture. You would not have been surprised if they told you they had never replaced it. You were able to clearly see the bags under your eyes in your reflection. It did not matter how much time you had spent doing your makeup, you could still feel their weight on your face. With every blink, your eyes watered, reminding you of the previous night. Considering yourself sly, you had tried to choose the brightest clothes you could find in your suitcase; a white tank top, a pair of baby blue shorts and your white trainers, but despite your efforts, you could not deny it: you looked like hell.

You scoffed at your reflection, as if that would have made it any better.

“Yeah, contaminated water drives me insane as well.”

The white tee looked big over his body, it was rather obvious that it was not his, and the combination of grey sweats and black trainers was unsettling considering it was not particularly cold outside. It led your mind to places you did not want it to be; where did he get those clothes from? Was someone else involved in this? Did he steal them? Did he hurt anyone? Taehyung, as much as it angered you to admit it, he was capable of doing some damage, otherwise, you would not have been helping him.

It was enough with you. The thought of him terrorising someone else in the same way he was doing it to you, or even worse, was unbearable.

His presence itself was overly daunting, and having Taehyung as close to you as he was now, caused you to step back, even if that meant falling right in the fountain. Taehyung was faster, however, as he grabbed your left wrist and pulled you away from danger to an even worse finale. His grip burned on your skin and carved your bracelet in. The blood did not take long to ooze out, leaving a fire trail behind. You stared at it for what it seemed like hours. It was darker than you remembered, reflecting the grey sky above you. Taehyung was not letting go.

“Let go,” you muttered.

But he squeezed even more, preventing any movement. A cry got stuck in your throat, and his eyes were staring down at you. You were not sure what he wanted from you, but he was not giving you much room to comply.

“Say that again.”

You raised your gaze, came across a smile, the kind of shit-eating grin that made your skin crawl.

For a few seconds, and despite the pain, you allowed yourself to look around you. He was not scared of showing the power he held over you, it did not matter to him if someone saw you in this position. Or maybe, he was taking advantage of the fact that not that many people were around, not with this weather, a promising storm, lurking from the sky.

“L-let me g-go.”

The only way you found it possible to utter those words was by avoiding his eyes. It was not enough, as he applied more pressure over your wrist. You did not dare to look down, but you would not have been surprised to see your bracelet slowly sinking into your skin until there was nothing left.

And then, it was gone. Your arm felt light once again.

A breath of fresh air entered your lungs so fast it made you dizzy for a moment. Your left hand searched for support in the air, and without thinking about it, you clutched Taehyung’s shoulder. The bracelet was still there, hanging from your unscathed wrist. It felt like it was mocking you.

“What?”

“Take your hand off me, human,” he spat before slapping your hand away.

“What just happened?” you asked.

Even after staring at it, it did not seem real. The blood was there just a moment ago! The paralysing pain along your whole arm, not only your wrist… It could not have been only in your head.

“I told you to do your research,” Taehyung hummed. As he turned around, you raised your hand to take a good look at it once again.

It was like a déjà vu.

It was near eleven in the morning when you decided you needed some sugar in your system. Taehyung had told you to walk him around. You trudged around some shops. No one seemed to be eager to see you. Out of the few people who crossed your path, they all reacted in the same way: a cold stare. You acted as if you did not know who they were. The reality was, you did.

Guess you had grown up so much they did not recognise you.

“Let’s sit down here,” you suggested, “I need something to drink.”

Taehyung gave a look at the café, the chairs, the table and then shrugged. A nice-looking girl, around your age, came out a few minutes later with a menú between her hands. You noticed the pretty, red nail polish over her nails and the way her blonde hair glowed even under a cloud-covered sky. You did not even bother to check your reflection in the window next to you.

“Just orange juice for me, please,” you said. She nodded and turned to Taehyung.

What ensued next was one of the most, if not the most, awkward silence you had ever experienced in your whole life. The waitress waited until he turned his eyes away from you and focused on her. She opened her mouth, ready to ask him his order, but her chirpy voice never came out. Her cheeks slowly gained some colour, even beneath her makeup, you noticed her blush making an appearance. However, Taehyung did not seem impressed. In fact, he dared to raise his eyebrows in disdain.

“He’s not having anything, don’t worry,” you stepped in.

The poor waitress mumbled something underneath her breath and then rushed her way out of the situation. Taehyung’s gaze followed her figure, unfaced for what had just occurred. Seeing her practically run inside the café made you feel sorry for her. Taehyung had turned into one of those clients who waiters and waitresses talked about for years and years… Not in a good way. From day one, he had been messing around with your head and there were so many things you could not quite understand, but one thing was obvious; he did not know how to behave around humans. Clearly.

“What just happened?”

“Is that your favourite phrase? You keep repeating it,” he said, now looking at you with a bored expression.

“You were so rude to her! Why-”

“No one gave her permission to talk to me.”

It was rather easy to forget he was not human when you only focused on his looks. Getting lost in his eyes, the way his curly hair bounced with every step he took, his elegant figure and sharp profile. He could fool anyone into thinking he was the perfect man. But then, he said stuff like that, and the spell would break into a million pieces. He was still away from his own reality, away from home where everyone acted in a different way. And, you were more than sure, he was used to receiving a special treatment underwater. He was the kingdom’s heir, after all.

“Okay, in the surface, we don’t need permission to talk to anyone,” you informed. “And even if we did, why do you let me talk to you?”

“You’re my guide here, you’re allowed to talk to me.”

The only thing you could do right then was to sigh. A guide. That was a nice way to put it.

The waitress came back, but just as you tried to apologise, she ran back inside again, leaving the bill on the table along with the orange juice. The sugar grains had not dissolved so you stirred your drink with the bright pink, paper straw until they were almost gone.

“Have you been there already?”

Taehyung pointed across the street, at Namjoon’s grandmother’s bookstore, and your chest tightened.

You had heard many times that the best hiding spot was on plain sight, right under your nose, and because Namjoon did not deserve to be involved in this mess, you wanted to believe this was the best way to do it. How many times did you have to make the same mistake until you actually learned your lesson?

“Um, yeah, a couple times when I was little.”

It was a lie. A dirty lie. But at this point, it did not matter anymore.

He hummed, loud enough for you to hear and long enough to make you hold your breath. His eyes scanned your face, and you wondered if he had already figured out the truth. You thought about the kind of movements you were doing, anything that might make your lying obvious. Either way, it was too late to even try. Your heart was beating like crazy. Under his scrutinising gaze, he could choke you without the need of touching you. It was overwhelming. You had to breathe.

Across the street, the infamous bookshop held itself together, imposing, despite the storm making its way across the sky. Inside, you noticed a dim light, presumably from a few candles that you knew were there thanks to your last visit. The windows did not show a lot of the inside, and you were thankful of that. The thought of Namjoon recognising you through the glass was haunting enough to make you turn your eyes away.

From the other side of the table, Taehyung was having a blast, you could already tell, dissecting every movement of yours to get what he wanted. You tried to brush your mishap off by taking a sip of your orange juice. He followed your actions, dropping his eyes to your throat as you swallowed your drink. It was bitter, and the sugar grains scratched their way down making you cough.

“You think they have something about me?”

A chill crossed past your body. It was the type of feeling that, when people told you about it, you could do nothing but nod, because there was no way you could understand what they were describing, but when it happened to you… The thought of it, the feeling, you were sure it was never going to leave your mind nor your body, like a phantom limb. A couple of words were strong enough to reduce you to a trembling mess. Your brain was in the middle of an angry tide, and your fingers looked for a buoy.

You wanted to reply, you wanted to lie, but every time your mouth opened to make up some story, anything to distract him, as if a great amount of water gushed in, you felt like coughing.

“You have been there, am I right?” he asked, now smiling. You did not answer. “Now, why would you hide that from me, huh? Is there someone you are trying to protect?”

At least a hundred people, that was for sure. Namjoon and his grandmother were only a fraction of those you did not want tangled up in this mess.

“Answer me.”

“I’ve been there, but I didn't find anything useful.”

You weren't even sure about what you had found. It seemed important, but to could it be useful to Taehyung? Doubtful. However, you weren’t ready to tell him anything about it. Not until you could be one hundred percent sure what it was and what it held.

“Then, maybe you didn’t look thoroughly enough,” he thought out loud. “Let’s go.”

He did not wait for you as he stood up and made his way to the bookstore. Out of sheer shock, you stared at his back while he confidently crossed the street. The moment he stopped in front of the building and turned around to offer you a smile, you snapped out of your trance. Desperately, you fished out a bill from your back pocket and put it on the table before running across the street to meet him.

“Listen, I didn’t find anything–”

“You came back…”

It didn't matter how calm his voice was, seeing Namjoon so close to Taehyung, made your heart almost jump out of your chest. You failed. There was no turning back now. Taehyung raised his eyebrows at you, a clear message: I won. From the door frame, Namjoon looked at you and then at Taehyung with what might have been the biggest question mark on his face. You couldn't blame him, though.

“Your brother?” he asked while pointing at him. Taehyung scoffed as a response that did not surprise you at all.

Was it wise to answer? You were pretty much following commands from Taehyung, so you couldn’t push your luck by responding that kind of question, right?

“I am Kim Taehyung.”

When Namjoon’s gaze tried to look for yours, you couldn’t help but tear your eyes away. Taehyung cleared his throat and put his hand on your back, clearly demanding your attention. There was nothing you could do but giving in and look back at him. You met his wicked smile, silently taunting you, and then a chuckle.

“Um, yeah, this is Taehyung,” you murmured, still looking at him.

The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Namjoon noticed, he was not stupid, he could sense something was wrong. He clearly remembered you mentioning Taehyung, if he didn’t he wouldn't be so concerned. You wondered when he was going to ask the question, you were dreading it, actually, because Taehyung had been clear since day one: no one was supposed to know about him. Still, there was something that didn’t make sense; if no one could know about him, why did he introduce himself to Namjoon? The only answer to that question you could think of was that, perhaps, he was planning on tangling him up in this malevolent game of his… But you couldn't let that happen. It was enough with you. “She told me all about this bookstore, I had to check it out,” Taehyung said.

It hurt to hear him talk in such a way, but a peek at Namjoon almost made you smile, because he was not having it. He crossed his arms over his chest and hummed slowly, taking in Taehyung’s words as if they were part of a treaty between nations. You knew Taehyung could not be enjoying Namjoon’s attentive gaze but, somehow, he didn’t even peep before Namjoon moved aside, letting you in.

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aion-rsa · 5 years ago

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