mercurialramblings

[mercurialramblings]

My sin is that

I know exactly where you are coming from

I understand you better than most

I cannot hate you

For doing what I wish I could have done by your side

But that is my resentment

My jealous fears

A twisted and rotten perspective

Deep down

I am afraid to be alone

Deep down

You are all I've ever wanted

Don't forget me, please

[mercurialramblings]

Dearly Beloved

Behind my eyelids your image dances

Your smile encases me in warmth

Crimson is your color

You taste like red velvet, and lychee

Do you still see the stray you brought home in me?

Helpless and bloodied you took me home

Your arms, I learned to wrap myself in

Late night in the bathtub

Laughter and wine

Only when you looked away did I hear my heart break

Only when broken did I realize

How incredibly close I want to hold you

Thank you for choosing me

I will choose you again and again

Do my words make sense? Does poetry excite you?

[mercurialramblings]

I have so many answers for questions I'll never receive.

[mercurialramblings]

I am a very boring autobiography, yet I still sit on your shelf and hope that you will read me one day. I am waiting for you to reach for me.

[mercurialramblings]

I'm sorry that it hurts.

It shouldn't, I should be fine.

There's nothing wrong with it.

You are able to do as you please.

I'm sorry I'm like this.

One day it won't hurt so much.

[mercurialramblings]

"Yeah, but I try not to let it bother me!" - Me, who is so bothered by it I'm about to explode

[mercurialramblings]

It is in your absence that I take the most impact. Being unable to feel your head against my chest leaves a hole, like an arrow through my heart. I crave your warmth, your steady breathing. I wonder if you'll dream of me tonight. If you will feel the emptiness in your bed like I do. I hope you think of me, I hope in your dreams I am holding you in my arms.

[mercurialramblings]

Just know that if you like my writing, it means my soul is bound to yours forever through shared emotion. Sorry.

[mercurialramblings]

Dark is the Night

[mercurialramblings]

We both have Ice hearts

Walk with me as we push our hearts together 

Let us watch as they melt 

Or watch as they become stuck against one

another as we endure this cold world as one.

[mercurialramblings]

No more explanations. No more pandering to the weasels lapping up milk at the bottom of the drawer. I open the drawer and there is a beer bottle. Unopened. Spilling nothing and yet spilling everything. How on Earth could I be the kind of person that stores a beer bottle in my sock drawer? As if, what, exactly? It’s impossible to know what my illicit purposes were, but surely they were illicit.

[mercurialramblings]

June 3, 1938 Virginia Woolf, “A Writer’s Diary” (1918 - 1941) originally published: 1953

[mercurialramblings]

As vast at the sky,

As deep as the ocean,

As hot as the sun,

As cold as the body you left to rot.

[mercurialramblings]

“But I would never kiss anyone who doesn’t burn me like the sun.”

— Jens Lekman, “And I Remember Every Kiss,“ Album: Night Falls Over Kortedala 

[mercurialramblings]

"Place Your Stamp ...", Vahan Teryan (translated by Tathev Simonyan)

[mercurialramblings]

[mercurialramblings]

Intimacy is not just physical. To crave a persons presence and energy rather than just their body is the purest form of intimacy.