#CRASH FREAKING BANDICOOT HIMSELF

[loopsietheshadowsiren]

okay uhm

hear me out cake

napsi and Chucklee belongs to @parmsnik and @monybalony175

also the Naspi art belongs to @marbarmars

[the-ranting-blog-for-izzy]

AIGHT, it's time for another oc rant :]

BackStory: so our story begins with a tween boy by he name of Otis Puzzles. Otis is the older brother of Aurther Puzzles and Lilly Puzzles, now altho Aurther often spent most of his time watching TV in his room that didn't stop Otis from hanging with his little bro! He would often pull Aurther out of his room forcing him to play Crash Bandicoot, Sonic, or Mario Cart (Mr Puzzles didn't realize it at the time but spending time with his big brother was on the healthiest things he has/will EVER done/do in his life) As for Otis's little sister Lilly they would often play outside to get her playing various make believe games with each other. Now the house hold that Otis and his younger siblings will send a very healthy one, there father was abusive towards Otis (verbally) and Aurther (physically), the only one what are the abuse was there sweet little sister Lilly... Altho who in the right mind of hurt such a small child as her? Now the years of constantly having to hear their parents fight mixed with being physically abused by his father (plus another Major League traumatic event of which I'll be explaining in a separate oc rant) eventually led to Aurther cutting off his head and replacing it with a TV~ now nobody had been in the garage for Aurther was doing this (thankfully) but unfortunately for both Aurther and Otis, Otis so happened to walk in only a couple minutes after Aurther cut off his head, no the garage where he was doing this as a really dark so Otis couldn't fully see what it happened you said all he saw slowly rolling toward the light of the door, was this little brother's severed head. This cause Otis to FREAK OUT and run away from home. He ended up running to a dear friends house where he stayed for a month before he worked up enough money from his job at Wendy's to buy his own small house. Now in order to raise that little extra bit of money so he can pay his rent he ended up started creating music, surprisingly enough his music popped off and got incredibly popular slowly leaving after many many years for me coming up popular music star! This leads us to current Otis, the incredibly famous and popular music star who instead of using his riches for himself he uses it on others~

Design details:

One, he's black, this design choices laid on by the fact that child Mr puzzles as we see in the show is a black figure so I was thinking what if I just made them black? So I did :]. 2, this is the add-on to the fact that he is black but I was thinking what if he showed a black light on him would he glow? So I gave him neon clothes so if he ever did have a black light on stage he would physically glow~. 3, now after he ran away from home he ended up becoming resentful toward his father so he changed his last name from being Puzzle to being Star, which is why he has a constant star theme throughout his outfit. 4, the reason there are so many holes in his outfits is it inspired by Michael Jackson and the fact that Michael Jackson got many girls being, how do put this gently..., horny towards the way Michael Jackson moved on stage.... Yea...

Personality: silly, smart, protective, fatherly, calm and collected, crafty (as in art and crafts), inclusive, loving, emotionally capable, capable, and amazing at singing people to sleep.

Relationships:

Smg4: now this is going to be a reoccurring theme but, Otis ended up like basically adopting the entire Smg gang becoming a father figure for almost the entire gang. Now Smg4 and Otis in particular are incredibly close with each other often going out and doing dumb little bother some things like playing baseball or getting ice cream :]

Smg3: now no matter how much love Otis give his he REFUSES to let Otis be his father figure instead often to become incredibly grumpy and moody around Otis (although he refuses to believe it he does generally view Otis as a father figure)

Meggy: same as many others, they both veiw eatch other as father and daughter :]

Boopkins: ⬆️ Dido (fun fact! Otis often like to give Boopkins singing classes to help with his singing skills)

Tari: Tari is that one slightly angsty teen he refuses to go outside, Otis although often forces them outside lafmo

Mario: no the Mario can be quite a handful for Otis, Otis still handles Mario perfectly as a father figure and as a protector towards him, he also keeps Mario out of trouble a lot of the time lafmo

Mr Puzzles: the two are HEAVY RIVALS, Otis hateing Mr Puzzles due to the fact that he kind of imprisoned his "children" and his food like TV worlds and Mr Puzzels haring Otis due to the fact that Otis protects the Smg gang (they're both completely unaware that they are brothers btw)

@strange0-0storm's Smg8: now out of the entire Smg gang Smg8 is the one that Oris views MOST as his child. Otis holds Smg8 VERY dear and close to his heart, he also often ivites Smg8 to make song with him :]

Smg-08: Otis REALLY doesn't like her due to her being a creation of Mr puzzles... But he allows her to stick around to the fact that she seems completely friendly

Extra info:Otis knows and sings in a multitude of languages, he also likes to work with vocaloid such as Hatsnu Miku :]. He is incredibly unselfish and he donates most of his money to the people who work for him or to various other music artists or to various abuse helplines.

Also take this art piece of Smg8 and Otis :3 why dose Smg8 look like a Charlie Brown character tho...

@mrfellsans @strange0-0storm :]

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

POM POM: KILLER OF MASCOT GAMES VOL.2 #1

Pom Pom vs Phoenix Wright

Previous Next

Previous Volume

"Ms. Pom, you are now admitting to the claims against you about taking down 12 different mascots, is that correct?" "Incorrect..." "HOLD IT!-Ms.Pom, didn't you just-" "Make that 13. Not 12." "….! 13?… By my records there's no documentation of similar scenes comparable to your work. This is vital information to the trial so your punishment is justified. Who is #13, Ms.Pom?" "…" "Ms. Pom. Who is #13?!?!?!…" "…" "… M-Ms. Pom! Who… Who is it!?…"

":)"

"… ……. -Who is it?…."

---

Stone's documentation of the case: 6:00, end of session: Ms.Pom entered the court with a seemingly genuine remorseful front. She began alongside her attorney, Mr.Edgeworth, pleading not guilty. The suspect began her case with the same remorseful attitude-reminding most of a scared child. By past personal experiences and multiple attempts to interrogate the suspect, she seems to genuinely believe this. With Mr.Phoenix's questioning, however, the two have seemed to trade confidence levels, as Ms.Pom has seemed to take notice that the questioning attorney was a game protagonist, himself. However, this trade of confidence has caused her to admit the murders of Mario Mario, Conker T. Squirrel, Bubsy Bobcat, Kirby, Taizo Hori, Tyrone Tasmanian Tiger, Olgilvie Maurice Hedgehog, Banjo Bear, Kazooie, Bug-exclamation point... Link-...Link? And Crash Bandicoot... *ahem* Bunch of circus freaks *cough* Ms.Pom has been sentenced to death row for her transactions. Her defendant, Mr.Edgeworth, only seems to be distracted by a missing pen. 7:30, update 2: The building is currently on lockdown. No one is permitted to leave the premise until the whereabouts of Ms.Pom and Mr.Wright are verified.

Character descriptions:

Pom Pom:

Pom Pom is a virus/glitch formed by the scrapped side-scrolling arcade game from the early 90's “Pom-Pom Panic”. Pom Pom (the main character of Pom Pom Panic) for whatever reason gained sentience halfway during the game’s development. The game was cancelled halfway because the publishing company thought it was too bizarre of a concept and mascot character to gain interest. Pom Pom heard of the news and took it way too personally, as she literally cannot fathom why someone would think she’s ‘bizarre’-even to the point of getting ‘axed’. Prompted by the ‘poor judgement’ Pom Pom went rouge-breaking from her game to ‘axe’ any ‘approved’ game mascots/characters she thought could count as ‘bizarre’ like her.

Power Officer Stone:

Stone is the amalgamation of a couple things, exactly what people aren't sure of, but it's safely assumed that he's a mix between scrapped virtual PSA mascots, an antivirus/piracy program, and the anti drug campaigns they used to put in arcade games. Stone is the embodiment of anti piracy screens and uses all of his time to prevent virtual crimes and viruses. He also can duplicate himself and multitask. However, because of his frustrations against the fact that he can't really punish pirates in real life, he often bounces the punishment to the closest playable character. For that, he's infamous amongst most virtual realms.

[n-brio]

What A Crash Bandicoot Character Can Teach Us about Toxic Relationships

This fantastic article by Cole D from plumjuicegaming unfortunately went down with the site it was hosted on. Luckily, the Wayback Machine archived a copy, which I now share with my fellow N. Brio fans on tumblr. ^w^

Note that it was written in Aug. 2019, before the announcement/release of It's About Time. Text in (italics and parentheses) was a caption for an image that is no longer viewable.

Video game platforming villains are repetitive, predictable clowns.

As much as I love them—and I do—these characters do the same thing every single time. They kidnap a princess or steal a MacGuffin or attempt to seize power in some kingdom, and they never. Change. Course.

Of course I'm mainly talking about the ones who appear in more than one game, so I can't be too hard on the Lord Fredriks or the Sorceresses of the world, however one-note they may be. You know who comes to mind when I say "platformer villain"—Bowser, Eggman, Dr. Wily, King K. Rool...all of these jerks try the same thing over and over, and they just never seem to truly give up, even when their skin melts off in a pool of lava.

It's sort of an inevitability of the genre, you could say; most platformers don't have super involved stories, so when you need to crank out an Excuse Plot for the ninth installment of your jump'n'run franchise, you usually don't feel the need to pull out all the stops in the villain department. You stick with what's familiar, with what the fans will recognize. It's why the Mario series never branches out with new bad guys anymore. It's why we're still seeing Dr. Wily after all of these years. It works, people like these characters, so the developers keep on using 'em! No problem, right?

Well, no, not really. I mean, I freaking love Bowser. And when King K. Rool was replaced by a walrus copy of himself, that decision was met with cold disappointment. Usually, there's no problem with using the same villain over and over again—not at all.

But the way the Crash Bandicoot series does this is...interesting. On the surface it fallows the same practice as your Marios and your Mega Men: you've got Neo Cortex as the main villain in nearly every game, with a rotating cast of misfits serving as henchmen for boss fights. But there's one dork who stands out as the one guy who called it quits, seemingly, for good. Of course, I'm talking about Dr. Nitrus Brio.

(He doesn't have one screw loose, but he is a little nuts.)

You may not remember if you haven't played the games in a while, but this guy was once just about as important as Cortex. The two doctors stood side-by-side and worked together to create crazy mad scientist stuff like deranged kangaroos and gun-toting weasels, and Brio even served as the penultimate boss in Crash 1 instead of siccing another mutant on the poor bandicoot. The problem was that Cortex never really seemed to respect the contributions that Brio made to their work—he took credit for the Evolvo-Ray, the device that mutated all of Cortex and Brio's minions as well as Crash Bandicoot himself. Brio never had the self-esteem to step up and claim ownership despite the fact that he invented the thing.

Fast forward to Crash 2: Cortex Strikes Back. We see Brio again, via hologram, and he finally airs his grievances out loud to a very confused Crash. We learn that he invented the Evolvo-Ray, and that he's now developed an intense hatred for Cortex as a direct result. Brio gets his revenge on Cortex by having Crash gather up the gems, and the frenemies use their energy to destroy his spaceship.

And that...was the end of N. Brio's story.

Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped, the most popular game in the franchise, did not feature N. Brio in the slightest. Crash Team Racing doesn't even offer him as a racer. His and Cortex's union was now just a memory, like a middle school friendship that fizzles out before ninth grade. It's strange, too, because CTR even brought back some characters who had been long abandoned, like Papu Papu and Pinstripe. But they didn't think to include the guy who created Crash?

The thing about the Crash Bandicoot series is that villain characters are rarely retired. You'd be hard pressed to find a game after Crash 1 that doesn't feature Tiny Tiger, Dingodile or N. Gin in some way, to say nothing of Cortex himself. So why did this once-prominent figure go gently into the night? Why did Naughty Dog throw him away like a broken beaker?

Well, I believe that Nitrus Brio was less a villain in this scenario, and moreso a victim. A victim of a toxic relationship with Dr. Neo Cortex, who stole his inventions and never showed even a modicum of respect for his colleague. That's why after settling the score in Crash 2, Brio removed himself from the situation—there was no longer anything to be gained by involving himself in the affairs of Cortex or Crash or Nitrous Oxide because he'd had enough. He'd done everything there was to do at this point—playing the villain? Didn't go so well. Siding with Crash? Worked out pretty great, but now that was done. Brio never really had a reason to return to center stage of a Crash game, so like any autonomous human being would do, he decided to end his involvement with all parties.

This might seem silly given that, well, this is a silly series—a series where most of the villains you fight are mutated animals who speak with accents or broken English. A series where you collect fruits to get extra lives like you're some kind of ape with a tie. In other words, it's a cartoony platformer—the developers Naughty Dog probably weren't intending to include subtext of an abusive partnership, were they?

I would argue that this doesn't matter.

Regardless of authorial intent, N. Brio's story is inspiring. Have you ever been friends with someone who never seemed to care about you or your accomplishments? Has anyone ever taken credit for something you've done, whether that be at work or in your personal life? N. Brio was in a situation just like this, and he...just left.. No coming back for round three, not even coming back for the fun kart racer where even the Japanese bootleg character was invited! Why would he want to race go-karts with the man who stole his inventions and wasted years of his life? No, as far as Naughty Dog was concerned, that was where Brio's tale ended. That was the last we were to see of the Simpsons-looking scientist, and that was for the best. Perhaps he went on to become a bartender, or a disc jockey, or even a well-regarded inventor in his own right—as long as he was away from Cortex, I'm sure he was happy.

It's just too bad that the other developers didn't pick up on this.

Now, I know: this is all just fan interpretation to begin with. There's no real evidence that Naughty Dog strictly intended for Crash 2: Cortex Strikes Back to be Brio's final appearance for the rest of time (though I could argue that leaving him out of the all-star kart racer was pretty damning). This is just how I've come to understand the character over the years, but regardless of what I thought or wanted, N. Brio would go on to appear in several games after the Crash Bandicoot series left the hands of Naughty Dog.

And I think that's kind of a shame.

The very first post-ND game was Crash Bash, and wouldn't you know it—Brio's back, aligned with Cortex once again like nothing ever happened. Yeah, it's a party game, but it still has a story justifying its events in-universe, and with only eight playable characters it would have been so easy to throw in Pinstripe or Komodo Joe or the freaking hog from the first game to take his place on the roster. But as if to intentionally poke a hole in my entire theory, Eurocom reintroduced N. Brio and deleted any kind of progression he might have made in his past two appearances. He was Cortex's buddy once again, fighting for the evil side! Woohoo!

Next was Twinsanity, and this game has the decency at the very least not to partner him up with Cortex again. Instead, he works with Dr. N. Tropy to find...treasure, or something, and gets defeated by Spyro (this was a weird game). It's not an awful portrayal, but frankly, unnecessary. Why is Brio involving himself with these rejects again? When has he ever been motivated by wealth? Didn't this game have enough villains already? At the end of the day, I can only be thankful that he and Cortex weren't buddy-buddy again—although partnering up with someone who was still allied with Cortex is...an odd strategic decision.

Brio's final appearance, and likewise the series's final appearance for about eight years was in Mind over Mutant, an even weirder game than Twinsanity that has South Park cutscenes and self-aware humor. For once I believe he was actually done a little bit of justice. He's back with Cortex, but this is actually portrayed as an anomalous development in the dynamic of the characters—it's made clear that Cortex and Brio were not on good terms prior to the events of this game.. He's gone slightly mad like any good scientist should be, constantly taking credit for things he didn't invent in a humorous over-correction of his previous passive nature. It's also pretty funny that drinking from strange beakers, something he did in his original boss fight for practical purposes, is now something that he just does for fun. It could just be his portrayal by the always-fantastic Maurice LaMarche, but I really like this take on Brio. If they couldn't leave him be, at least they gave him a continuation that made sense for his character.

(All of these screenshots are from the same game.)

Personally I tend to ignore Brio's appearances in later games (but I don't ignore the games themselves—how does that work?). I think his story was told best in the span of two games, and also by nature of his absence in the following two. There's no need to bring back every single character who's ever appeared, whether you're in charge of a dumb video game franchise or an HBO original series, just because you want to have fan service and continuity nods in a shallow attempt at recreating the good old days. A healthy balance of old and new is always best, and if something seems to be a relic of the past, maybe that's for a reason.

So what can we learn from Dr. Nitrus Brio? I think it's important to realize that if you find yourself in a toxic or abusive relationship, whether it be personal or professional, it's always best to leave that relationship behind. Of course, this is sometimes hard for those who rely on their abusers for financial support. Some don't even know that they're in an unhealthy situation until it's too late. Whatever the case, it can be a complicated, sticky mess; but at least N. Brio shows that if you're given a clear out, you should just take it. That's advice I live by, and N. Brio deserves all the credit for that.

[lady-maria-the-wolf225]

I had a thought the beginning of a third TMNT bayverse film would've started with the turtles being 19 to 21 years old, and doing their own ASMR videos with their own youtube usernames kinda like this in my opinion 😂😂:

*whispers* Greetings my lovely students, it is I, your Sensei "the great Master Leo." And today, we will be doing a very silent meditation session today. Before we begin, please subscribe to my channel and slice the bell icon for more meditating and ninja training tutorials. Now that we got that out of the way, let us begin our session. Let me just put some relaxing music here, and we shall get started...*does meditation things in silence for the remainder of the video*

*whispers loudly* wassup you beautiful bitches! It's me your tough red headed big boy here! "Mr.Sexy Ripped Raph!" Today, I'm gonna do some quiet weight lifting and whispering dirty things in the microphone afterwards. Subscribe to my channel for more sweet ass content from me, or imma go into your house and fuck you up so good, you wont be able to walk in a full week. Now that shit is out of my system, lets do dis thang. So, prepare to have your ovaries explode!....*he prepares his weights and begins lifting them up, but they fall on top of the camera and it breaks* FFFFFFUUU- *please stand by...* 😅

*whispers in a very soft tone* Hello my darling assistants. This is your favorite brilliant science guy, "Professor-Donnie." Today, I shall be mixing three different liquids with some salt. Before we begin, here's a little word from our sponser, Adam and Eve. Care to experiment on yourself with some gorgeous looking glass butt plugs to ram up your bum with? Or vibrate that beautiful pink clit to make yourself squirt with a rechargeable vibrating bunny dildo like a pulsating sprinkler that you have at your front yard? Than use the code:"ProDonnie" to get a 30% off special offer for your purchase of $100 or more on any items you wish to buy, and you will recieve free gifts with that purchse such as a sex tape, a free toy, and a starter kit. Again, the code is "ProDonnie". Also, subscribe to my channel for more sciencey content. Now that this is all in conclusion, let us begin. *starts mixing the liquid and salt as it bubbles and puts it close to the microphone whispering some more* you here that?.....that is the sound.....of science.....

*whispers excitedly* what is up my Babes and bros! It's me your awesome, handsome, and totally cool pizza loving, sexy skateboarding gamer boy with a dazzling personality, the one, the only, "Happy-go-lucky-Mikey!" And today, we will be playing the new Crash:4 its about time! Woo hoo! Im so excited for this thing! I cannot wait to get started! And while I play, I will also silently eat some pizza while I'm at it. So let us start this awesome journey with our favorite non-verbal orange bandicoot crash himself with his magical talking mask Aku Aku, and also. Dont forget to subscribe, and check out my new merch! I got skateboards, headphones, pins, stickers, T-shirts, hoodies, and even magnets and mugs with my face all over em! Use the code: "funky-Mikey" to get 15% off of your first purchse! And now without further a do, let's get this bad boy started! *5 hours later* oh yeah! This game is so wicked peeps. *takes a bite of pizza* Mmmmm!....So good!.....*chews close to the microphone while still playing*

That's all I can think of. What do you guys think? 😂😅

@teenage-mutant-ninja-freak @tmntspidergirl @selfless1978 @memes-in-a-half-shell @the-second-circle-of-shell

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #755: Spending Time With His Two Favorite Aunts (Sonic x Crash Bandicoot)

1:12 p.m. Outside of Knothole's Burger Joint......

Coco: ('GASPS') (Slams her Palms on the Table in a Very Surprised Manner) NO WAY! Did all of that seriously happened in one day!?

Bunnie: (Smiles Brightly) Yup. With Sal's clever thinking and 'mah high tech prowess, we were able to put Robobnik and his heaps of scrap metal in their place! (Smiles Sheepishly as She Starts Rubbing the Back of Her Head Back & Forth) With a teensy bit of casualties of course.

Sally: ('Sigh') I'm just glad no one in this town got hurt during that time. I've always hate how relentlessly persistent that crazy maniac used to be when it comes to attacking us.....

Coco: (Starts Snicking) He's sounds almost like our Cortex.

Sally: Is he annoying to deal with too?

Coco: Yeah. But that's only when he's in a good mood or whatever. But forget that noise! (Excitedly Turns to Tails Next to Her) Your aunts are freaking amazing, Tails!~

Tails: (Chuckles Lightly) Told you. They are one of the Freedom Fighters for a reason, you know?

Sally: (Giggles Softly While Blushing a Little) Oho Sweetie~ You're being too modest~

Bunnie: (Giggles Softly While Blushing a Little as Well) Yeah, sugah cubes~ We ain't all that amazin'.

Tails: (Smiles Softly at his Two Aunties) You guys are to me. You've inspired me to have more confidence and even better myself everyday, even when we first met each other. I wouldn't be who I am now if it weren't for the two of you.

Coco: Awwwwwwwwww~ You really do love your two aunties~

Sally: (Heart is Already Melting in Pure Happiness) He does~ That's why he has and always will be our sweet, baby boi~

Tails: (Immediately Starts Blushing in Embarrassment) Aunt Sally! Not in front of Coco!!

Bunnie: Oh don't be like that, sugah! It's not our faults you're gosh darn precious.

Coco: (Shrugs at Tails While Having a Sheepish Smile on her Face) You are a precious bean.

Tails: (Glares at Coco While Pointing at Her) S-So are you!

Coco: Yeah. (Playfully Pulls Tails' Cheek) But not as much as you are~

Tails: (Starts Grumbling To Himself While Rolling his Eyes)

Coco: Blantent cuteness aside....(Turns Back to Sally and Bunnie) What makes you guys wanna be Tails' aunties in the first place?

Sally: Well, you see, it all started when we were all younger at the time. Tails was four and I think Bunnie and I were probably twelve or thirteen at the time? (Starts Shaking her Head a Little).But anyways, we were both watching over the little guy while Sonic and the others deals with Robobnik and whatever kind of schemes he was planning during that time. Once we read him a bedtime story and tuck him in, he suddenly starts calling both of us "aunties" a couple of minutes later in his sleep and the rest of was history.

Tails: Ah yeah.....I remembered that night. (Chuckles Lightly) You guys were trying way too hard to sound like actual pirates.

Bunnie: (Pouts at Tails) Oh hush! You were laughin' up a storm when we made those pirate impressions!

Sally: (Simple Nodded) Mmhmm.

Tails: Yeah. But that's when I was a little kid. I'd probably laugh to anything that was funny to me at the time.

Sally: ('Sigh') That is true.....It feels.like it was only yesterday when we first see you for the time. You were small, young, still new to the world....(Already Starts Tearing Up) ('Sniff') And now you're all grown up.....

Bunnie: (Starts Tearing Up as Well) Yeah....('Sniff') Grownin' up too fast if you ask me.....

Tails: (Frowns a Bit Worryingly) Guys, are you okay?

Sally: (Starts Wiping the Tears Away From her Eyes Alongside With Bunnie) Yeah, 'hon. ('Sniff') (Smiles Softly) We're okay.

Bunnie: (Smiles Softly) You're two aunties were gettin' a little emotional about you is all. ('Sniff') No worries.

Tails: ('Sighs a Bit in Relief') If you say so.

Coco: You know, I'm curious..... You guys have any more stories to tell about Tails when he was little?

Tails: (Starts Blushing a Little) I-I don't think that would be necessar-

Sally: (Smiles Excitedly) Oh my gosh! We have TONS of stories we would love to share with you today! (Turns to Bunnie) Right, Bunnie?

Bunnie: (Happily Nodded) Oh absolutely! (Places a Family Photo Book Down on the Table) This here beauty has a lot cute and wonderful memories that I don't even know where to where begin.

Tails: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock) You've been carrying that book with you this entire time!?

Sally: (Happily Nodded) Of course! We've been wanting on showing you and Coco these photos ever since you came here. We were going to wait tell got back to Bunnie's house to show, buuut.... since the book is already out and about.....

Coco: (Excitedly Turns Back to Tails) Ooh! Can we see them together, Tails!?

Sally/Bunnie/Coco: Pleeeeeeeease?~ (Gives Tails Each Sad Puppy Dog Eyes)

Tails: (Stares at His Aunts and Coco For a Brief Second Before Sighing in Utter Defeat) Fiiiine....We can see the family photo book together. (Turns Sally and Bunnie) Just don't show anything too embarrassing, okay? A-And don't even think about telling Amy or Wave about this, alright!?

Sally: (Smiles Brightly) We won't, sweetheart!~ Thank you!~

Bunnie: (Smiles Brightly) You have no idea how happy you've made us, sugah cubes!~

Coco: (Smiles Brightly at her Best Friend While Hugging his Arm) It'll be a lot fun, bud. You'll see.

Tails: (Starts Rolling his Eyes) For you guys maybe.... (Smiles a Little) But I'll try being a little optimistic about it. (No matter how embarrassingly dreadful this might get.....)

Happy Mother's (or Auntie's) Day Everyone!

@keyenuta

@caleb13frede

@26shann

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@sonicsflowers

[murdercide626]

My SSBU Roster DLC Wish List

Decided to update my list of most wanted Smash Bros. fighters. And of course since Min Min was added to the roster, that means spirits officially do not deconfirm possible roster candidates! So this time, NO HOLDS BARRED! Also, I don't care how unlikely one of my selections is, this is my list, I do whuh I wan'! PLAUSIBILITY BE DAMNED!

I'll also be listing these in ascending order, building up to my #1 most wanted fighter!

Here we go!

=====================

#10:

PORKY MINCH

I think we could use another Earthbound/Mother rep, and who better than this lil bastard? He served as a major antagonist in both Earthbound/Mother 2 and Mother 3, and was also a boss in Brawl, so it seems like he'd be a pretty good choice for a future fighter!

=====================

#9:

GENO

Yeah, tons of people want Geno in the game, and I'm definitely among them! SMRPG is a fondly remembered classic, and I think Geno has good potential as a playable fighter! Hopefully we'll get to see this guy in action!

=====================

#8:

SCORPION

HEAR ME OUT! Yeah, Mortal Kombat is DEFINITELY NOT family friendly, but then again neither is Bayonetta. And I don't think it'd be difficult to incorporate Scorpion's familiar moveset without the gore. And come on, you know you want that kickass Mortal Kombat theme in the game! lol

.

=====================

#7:

CAPTAIN SYRUP

Wario Land desperately needs more love, and I think Captain Syrup would be the perfect character to represent that series! And if they utilize callbacks well enough, then she could have a very fun and interesting moveset!

=====================

#6:

SORA

Definitely a long shot considering Kingdom Hearts is a Disney franchise, but I'd personally love to see Sora rubbing elbows with some of gaming's most iconic characters!

=====================

#5:

RAYMAN

I'm pretty damn fond of the Rayman series, and I think this guy has what it takes to be an awesome addition to the roster! Especially if they take full advantage of all the powerups throughout the series!

=====================

#4:

SHANTAE

I'm also a big fan of the Shantae series of games! And considering all of Shantae's magical abilities and many transformations, I know she could be a fun and unique addition to the roster!

=====================

#3:

EARTHWORM JIM

Yeah, this entry is pretty much just my inner child screaming out for one of my earliest video game obsessions. lol

But I really do think Jim would be an excellent addition to the roster with a fun and bizarre moveset and wacky animations! And this wouldn't even be Jim's first appearance as a guest character in a fighting game (having already appeared in Clayfighter 63 1/3 and Battle Arena Toshinden).

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#2:

DR. EGGMAN

The way I see it, if other third party series (such as Street Fighter and Castlevania) can have multiple reps, why not Sonic? And I personally wouldn't have anyone other than the nefarious Doctor himself filling that spot! And they could put him in a small mech to fight in (a la Sonic The Fighters)! Seriously though, I would freak the f*** out from sheer geeky joy if Eggman ever got added to the roster! :D

=====================

AND MY #1 MOST WANTED DLC FIGHTER IS....

.........

.........

.........

.

.

.

.

CRASH BANDICOOT!

Seriously, Crash would be so frikkin PERFECT in Smash Bros.! He's a fun and unique character with great moveset potential, his game franchise is both celebrated and long lived (with a pretty strong resurgence in recent years), and the Crash Bandicoot series has had some good history of collaborating with Nintendo! Not to mention that Crash started out as a rival mascot to both Nintendo and Sega, so seeing him go toe-to-toe with Mario and Sonic would be pretty damn epic! :D

=====================

So yeah, there's my list. lol

I can only hope at least one of these characters will make it onto the roster! *crosses fingers*

[danwhobrowses]

Ghost of Tsushima: Thoughts, Ideas and Hopes for DLC and Sequels

So I recently Platinum’d Ghost of Tsushima, I finished the story last week after 30 entries of livestreams which saw a whopping viewership of at most 2 people including one asshole that decided to spoil the end of Act II before I got there because I was playing stealthy and the way I wanted to play. But then wrapped up the Achievements on my own time. After a bit of stewing I’m ready to talk gush about it, including what I liked, a small bit of stuff I disliked and stuff I would suggest for future DLC and Sequel(s)

Spoilers for the Game, unlike that Commenter on my Stream I will not Spoil you on this, it is truly something you should experience for yourself

Because Good Lord, What A Game. Easily my Game of the Year, which compared to all the big hitter titles released is amazing, I mean Crash Bandicoot could still blow me away and Cyberpunk, Watch Dogs, Godfall, AC Valhalla and Miles Morales in waiting but probably not in this way. It is a magnificent game, one made with fantastic care and beauty, but before I go all out, let’s get the negatives out of the way 出る杭は打たれる。: A Flawed Masterpiece Ghost of Tsushima is brilliant but not without its faults. Most of these faults are admittedly minuscule and fixable, but until they are fixed they remain flaws. The biggest disappointment for me with the game was the lack of Japanese lip syncing. I loved the Japanese track, it also highly appealed to me to hear One Piece’s Roronoa Zoro voice Jin, but you have to kinda avoid looking at the mouths because it doesn’t match up, the models still speak in English and it’s a heavy shame that can kill some immersion. I guess they didn’t have the finances for it, because they could’ve done the lip syncs at the same time as they did the English ones if they had the Japanese track too. Combat for the most part was great, aiming could be wonky at times and Jin’s attacks didn’t carry on to a 1 foot ledge, but my main gripe with combat was the Camera getting in the way. It was adjustable most times, but other times it was not. Doing standoffs in the tall grass was night impossible at the later stages without the knees giving us a tell, one standoff I had was completely obstructed by a tree - I’m not making it up, a tree was literally all I saw for the Standoff. You lose so much health for failing a standoff too, bit harmful in later levels. The remaining issues are probably more personal, I didn’t quite like some of the sword kit designs - the ones with fluffy sleeves and I didn’t really like the armor dye you get for 100%ing the achievements, some weapons seemed to lose their luster in later parts of the game (particularly the half bow and Explosive Arrow, the former was only good for killing the angry doggos and the latter only killed Mongols if near another explosive to stack), that one Masako quest mission where you have to follow and pick off Straw Hats one by one without being seen, but will fail if you pull a triple assassination before the outpost where Masako’s lesbian lover was leading them all to so there’s more Straw Hats to blow my cover! (it wasn’t difficult it just annoyed me that it failed me for killing them all early) and the completionist in me hates that there are empty slots in the arrow and blowgun sections, but they can be worked in what I’ll talk about a bit later down the line, alongside some minor loose threads. Also you killed my horse man!

Your horse will accompany you on your entire journey - Ghost of Tsushima UI Message

Don’t you dare lie to me like that again Sucker Punch! Just because you’re named that doesn’t mean you can live up to it, we already lost one horse at the beach! Had to spend the final act with Not-Sora and Kaze with a hole in my heart never to be filled. But with that dealt with, let’s talk about some things I loved about the game

花は桜木人は武士 :  Living into a Legend With these games it is very easy to fall into the Elder Scrolls prototype of an array fun side quests and exploration and a so-so main story. Ghost of Tsushima though decided to have both the array of side quests and exploration and a great, complex and partly tragic story. There were many times I wanted to get back to the main story but held off because I wanted to be prepared. Long distances didn’t feel too bad to travel when the roads were uncharted either thanks to radiant battles, new settlements, vanity gear and side missions to ease you on the way. Additionally, the characters are for the most part fantastic, I cared for the safety of most of my allies and Jin himself, I wanted the Khan dead in a cerebral villain (albeit one whose final battle fell into cowardice) and I was open to the complexities of Ishikawa and Tomoe. I did feel that Shimura was being a tad ungrateful but I think it was intended for us to be frustrated to the edicts of the Samurai code - my frustration led me so much to deep dive to prove myself justified since the code was subjective and many agreed to aspects of ‘win no matter what’ and ‘do what protects the people the most’. Along with the main quest was paired with the character journeys of our allies as well as the Mythic tales which granted some extra strength and challenges to overcome in order to expand Jin’s arsenal. I particularly liked the observation and killing of leaders to learn new stances, as well as the widely acclaimed Stand-Off and the duels. The Arkhamverse fan in me did appreciate the focused hearing for stealth and that assassination speed could be upgraded. The idea of collecting vanity gear, armour dyes and equipment that are remains of the conflict showed that SP had completely immersed their plot into the world of Tsushima, with a great amount of exploration and nuances nodding to Japanese folklore And Tsushima is certainly stunning, it’s amazing that the PS4 can hold this much when we know how the PS5 is meant to be with ray tracing. The landscapes are beauteous which makes exploration and travel much more fulfilling, as well as the photo mode and the scenic builds to some of the major battles. What’s also wonderful is the calligraphy cutscenes for Mythic Tales and the loading screens, some wonderful artistry. Artistry which is added to by the brilliant uses of Haiku spots, Bamboo Strikes, Lighthouses, Shrines, Altars which you bow to, Fox dens where you can pet the Foxxos and even the Hot Springs for some ‘Man-Butt Action’, each positions that fit to Japanese media in soaking in a moment without killing any pace, especially added to the fact that each one contributes to a purpose. I will admit, I chose wrong at the end, I was thinking more of Shimura (said ungrateful uncle)’s honour rather than what Jin would what, feeling that Shimura would’ve done it himself had Jin not. But seeing the spare ending made me wish I chose that one and it’s something I’ll touch on later. But both endings are fitting and tragic for Jin’s journey from Samurai to the Ghost, being inspired by his allies and his connection to Yuna, there has been conflict throughout regarding the line of protection, honour and vengeance explored through other people’s tales that blend together perfectly with the main plot.  It is pretty political as well with the argument presented by Jin and Shimura’s conflict. Samurai while still romanticised were still shown to be bound to the blind loyalty towards the Shogun and Jito, you did not defy because it inspired others to think freely. Jin became a champion of a people by defending the people rather than listening to the jito - represented by the shogunate - and their stringent ideas that the Samurai who failed on the beach would be able to out-muster the force and brutality of the Mongol invasion regardless of the collateral and yet still call that honour. In the current climate in 2020, that hits a chord a little closer than expected. And the main story certainly has their stellar moments, the ups and downs really hit you - like killing my freaking horse! I had to lose Yuriko, Taka and Sora in a single playthrough. Losing Taka was inevitable, but still heartbreaking because of how much we struggled to save him and how much we want to still be Yuna’s friend, but then the highs just blow you away from the opening act, Ghost Stance, raiding Castle Kaneda and Shimura and the final raid at Port Izumi. Also did I mention that you can pet the Foxxos? Because that’s very important, also NPCs walk at your pace most of the time, which is a fantastic addition. I could probably go deeper but there’s other stuff I want to cover, but understand that the world and the story is wonderful and if you’re a fan of Assassin’s Creed, Arkhamverse and just Japanese culture in general this should tick your boxes. And hopefully there’s more to come.

石の上にも三年 : Strait to DLC The sad thing that happens when a good game is over is the void. Even if its days, having nothing left of the game to play is still a shame, and I know that Legends DLC is announced, but multiplayer involving fighting Oni as mythic legends isn’t my pace, I’m still not done with Jin and I feel like there are things we could still do. There are still 3 conflicts Jin’s story never resolved that could still be resolved now, each as multi-layered quests. The first is this ‘Ghost Army’ mentioned by the wagon guy in Omi, we are not leading this so who is? We may not be able to stop them but we could reduce the amount of people thinking we’re leading them to fight. The second is Daizo, if you don’t know that name it’s because the guy is never seen in the game, you only read about him in the Records of ‘Conversations with the Khan’. This Japanese Monk clearly has a thing for the late Khotun and he feels that the Ghost is being a dishonorable monster, this Khan lover is still at large and a confidant of Khotun, we could link with Norio in a quest to ensure he doesn’t rally or try to spread his appreciation of the Khan to others to try and complete Khotun’s work. The final conflict is one that eats me up: How did the Mongols Know About the Poison? Yuriko died showing me how to make the poisons, made more potent from her own herbal poisons which were crushed down, if she didn’t tell and I didn’t tell, who told? Because the Mongols drank the evidence and we could make a story of an Omi village traitor or even someone from Shimura’s camp leaking the info to the Khan to try and preserve ‘honour’. On top of these loose ends I’d very much like to see our allies again, even if they’re just at their home doing their own thing, as well as some other minor side characters like the Tadayori descendant Kaede, Flame Swordsman Bettomaru (who would’ve both been mighty useful with this Mongol affair beyond their sole missions) and the Yarikawa Archer Daikoku, I also would like to see confirmation on Jin and Yuna - there is clearly something there but that could be just me. What is also just me would be the suggestion of a shrine that can let you redo the Shimura decision, it’s not a too ‘out-there’ thing to do either considering we fought a Tengu. The shrine could be for Omoikane, Kami of wisdom and intelligence or Ame-no-Koyane, the ‘First in Charge of Divine Affairs’ which’d subject the player to a gauntlet of bosses past; Ryuzo, Kotun and Shimura, if the player goes against their initial decision, they will trade their ghost armour dye for the other and get a Charm of Pondering, if they stick to their guns they get both ghost armour dyes and a Charm of Strengthened Stance. In similar vein we could have a master Mythic Tale that stacks the duels of those tales into one for another special attack, weapon or armour. It’s also possible that we could add more duels, some remnants trying to avenge Khotun or even some Samurai sent by the Shogun in promise of becoming Jito. Likewise we can use this to complete the weapons set; for the Half Bow, take the Mongols’ poison arrows (which can be a reward for finding who leaked the poison to them) which can just eat at lesser enemies’ health and take a chunk of stronger enemies’ health before resolving out of it, as well as a sticky arrow that could slow enemies or weaken their armour, or a perfume arrow that can mess with the falcons and angry doggo’s senses. For the Long Bow we could have...okay I’m drawing a blank here but I’m not meant to do all the work XD For the Blowgun at least you could have a Blinding Dart to aid in stealth and a Panic Dart to increase chances of Terrify. We could even have a few more upgrades to our ghost weapons and stance combats, even increase the amount of kills Ghost Stance can yield. In addition to more Fox Dens, Shrines, maybe new resources to bolster upgrades, Sword Kits, Haikus, Banners, Flute Songs, dyes and so on. But I know what you’re thinking, we can’t put that all in Tsushima? We’ve covered the entire island and it’s unlikely that SP would make a fictitious island. And to that I say, I have that covered. In the Tsushima Strait between the island and the mainland there is Iki Island, part of the same prefecture and equally ravaged by the Mongols during the invasion, it’s also the base of pirates which can offer a stop point for a Tomoe reunion or simply travel via Umugi Cove. A small bit of expansion wouldn’t hurt, as long as Iki isn’t planned for something else that is.

能ある鷹は爪を隠す : Hopes for a Sequel Now part of me would be content if this was a one and done, the game shines perfectly on its own. But I would not turn one down. Though many would feel that Jin’s journey is done (I even heard a suggestion of Tomoe, I could see that but not right now, maybe for a third) but not me, there’s still a few glaring issues at hand. For one, the Shogun now wants you dead, new clans are moving in on you and there will probably be a new Jito regardless of the ending choice because of Shimura’s failure, Adachi will also need to look at another clan taking its land. There’s also the vacuum left behind by the clans’ subsidiaries; Nagao particularly but also Adachi’s rival clan Kikuchi, there’s easily possibilities to use canon Sō, Abiru, Shōni and Imagawa, there’s also room for Kikuchi Takefusa, who survived both Mongol invasions  . A sequel could offer some clan territorial tensions in that regard as the people of Tsushima side with the Ghost over the mainland. That conflict is one we have touched on in the end of the first, Jin has fought for his country’s safety so how will he act when his country wants him dead? The first was a story of sacrifice perhaps the next can be a story of maintaining his legend, inspiring the mainland Samurai and even redeeming himself in the eyes of the non-Tsushima natives. It’s also worth remembering that Komoda was the beginning of the invasion, and there was a second invasion 6 years later where Tsushima was attacked once more, the death of non-canon Khotun could spark other higher ups of Kublai’s ranks to avenge or clean up for Khotun, Kublai also had counsel from different nations to understand his enemy so we could have an even more vicious and cerebral enemy be made, or even a group of enemies led by advisors like Liu Kan or Yao Shu, maybe even Marco Polo if we move the time after the first invasion. In terms of gameplay we could also see Jin expand from Tsushima to Iki and maybe some more naval warfare, growing in his equipment (like Caltrops, Kusari-Fundo and Suntetsu) and maybe even his weapon, an Ono, Jitte or a Naginata to rotate with his not-yet-made Katana to combat with Samurai or the army of a Mongol threat, maybe even use the Bo-Hiya for ranged fire archery learned from the Hwacha. And like the Mass Effect games (or Dragon Ball Xenoverse if you wanna pick a franchise that didn’t end in a bitter aftertaste) you could have the option to transfer over some data from the PS4 save to the next one, which’d inevitably be on PS5 at the least - also don’t be surprised if this gets a PS5 remaster too, especially if it does win Game of the Year. What I suggested for DLC could be used here too, if there is a sequel with Jin I really, really hope that SP don’t opt for the route of killing Jin (or Yuna) off for effect, I was nervous about the current game ending with Hara Kiri and I’d rather not have that or a downer of a death for the legendary Ghost (I am a happy endings guy after all). An alternative route to go (other than following Tomoe to the mainland to rip off the Ghost) is to work backwards, call it ‘Ghosts of Tsushima’ working towards a story of a more ancient time, where a thief could become a samurai clan. A clan Sakai or Shimura origin would sell in that way too and avoid the idea that we have to start again from zero but still have the more ‘dishonorable’ stealth tactics.

義は険しい山よりも重く、死は大鳥の羽よりも軽い : Conclusion In the end, this game was worth the wait, worth the delays and worth the price tag. I feel like this will be one of the games I’ll fondly remember when thinking of the PS4, which has truly had a stellar library of awesome games like Spider-Man, God of War, the Crash, Ratchet & Clank and Spyro Remasters, DMCV, Jedi: Fallen Order and more. This truly ticked the boxes for the anime nerd within me and the history buff, even the Haikus spurred the poet in me a little too. If anyone hasn’t played this game, they should, and I hope that Sucker Punch realises that people like me want to see more. If it stands alone so be it, but I’m not ready to leave Jin or Tsushima just yet. いってらっしゃい

[thattimdrakeguy]

I’ve been really on and off majorly depressed lately, mainly cause I have depression, shocks of shocks, but sometimes it’s just nice to remember that things haven’t been all bad.

Tim is Robin again-- (or Red Robin, but Young Justice says Robin, so I’ll go with that. He’s wearing the Robin costume. Unless they’re just saying Red Robin is just Robin just specified, which I’ll also take, thank you very much).

Crash Bandicoot 4 came out (I love Crash Bandicoot, though haven’t been able to actually play the game).

FREAKING TENTH DOCTOR GETS TO BE IN A VIDEO GAME, and he was like MY BOY before I ever read the comics so that’s really freaking exciting.

TIM’S GOING TO BE IN A VIDEO GAME WHERE HE LOOKS MORE LIKE HIMSELF-- besides how they made his jacket look like a tunic which keeps making people think it’s Damian, but ayy, it’s Timmy. I won’t complain too much about weird costume design choices.

And well-- that’s about I can think of. I’ve been very depressed lately, well, for most of my life actually, but oh well. Positives are positives.

[komodo-bros]

((More CB cast thoughts part 2. This time with the bandicoot family, their pets, and aliens.))

((Warning: More walls of text. Only one instance of mild language.))

Bandicoots

Crash

Joe: Very annoying and loud. Joe’s still not over losing that one battle during the second game for personal reasons. He wants a rematch to show this bandicoot who’s the strongest around these islands.

Moe: Needs to stop playing loud rock music so he can sleep in peace. Other than that, he isn’t that bad to be around, if a bit weird.

Coco

Joe: Is jealous of how much she accomplished for her small age. Yeah he may have found treasure, but that took time and help from his brother. Meanwhile, she already knows how to build machines, master martial arts, and hack into Tropy’s extremely complex time machine. He wonders if she’ll be able to find holy grail with how smart she is.

Moe: Easily impressed by her fighting skills. Maybe one day they can have an arm wrestling match.

Crunch

Joe: On a scale of Tiny to Roo, he fits somewhere between Koala Kong and Moe. Not super dumb, but would probably fall for simple pranks.

Moe: Yes! Another tough dude he can fight against!

Tawna

Joe: Isn’t sure what to think considering he’s never seen her around. Heard rumors that she might be Pinstripe’s lover and/or a close friend of Brio’s. If either are true, he’ll know exactly what sort opinion he should form on her.

Moe: Has no clue who she is.

Fake Crash

Joe: Looks like if Crash got hit with frying pan a hundred times and ate a whole grapefruit. He’s only ever seen him dance around in the most hard to reach places. Weird freak.

Moe: Gets excited every time he spots him. It’s like finding Bigfoot in the dense forests of Alaska.

Pets of the Bandicoot Family

Polar

Joe: Who thought it was a good idea to bring this ugly abomination to the islands? That thing is gonna grow up to eat everyone and everything before swimming to the southern Antarctic for some tasty penguin chow. Also, it looks ugly as sin.

Moe: A cute little guy.

Pura

Joe: Great, another meat eating pet. He thinks about planning an emergency food storage in case this disgusting feline eats all of the birds and fish.

Moe: Another cute critter.

Baby T

Joe: Ok, this is ridiculous. One has to wonder where the bandicoots keep getting these baby animals from. They should get an elephant calf for all he cares. Speaking of the dinosaur itself, it’s appearance is awful and should be sent back to the Cretaceous period it came from.

Moe: The best of the three. He wants to give this little dino snuggles and ride upon its back like a horse.

Aliens

(UPDATE: This used to be only Oxide and Trance. Now that its confirmed that all of the nitro kart aliens will be in the CTRNF, the brothers finally have a way to interact with them that was previously unavailable.)

Nitros Oxide (N. Oxide)

Joe: Considers this speed demon both a loser and a rival on the race tracks. After Oxide left earth for good, Joe has been practicing for many days and nights to better his driving skills. If by some chance the alien changed his mind and came back, he wants to be ready this time. He’ll take on Oxide, and show him that he has what it takes to race for the fate of this planet.

Moe: Only heard of him through his brother about how terrible he is. Not much else.

N.Trance

Joe: A repulsive creature that’s more atrocious than the singing voice of Cortex in the shower. He’d steer clear from him as much as possible with the utmost caution. His biggest fear is having Moe be captured by this rotten egg and being brainwashed to oblivion.

Moe: If he can eats raw livestock for breakfast, then he can eat this hard-boiled cyborg in just one gulp.

Emperor Velo XXVII

Joe: Great, another alien racer with a big ego that wants to destroy the planet. This is getting too ridiculous. At this point, he expects another one to just pop up right after this sour raisin loses. 

Moe: Is that their uncle?

Zem

Joe: Doesn’t like the constant burping and how he has to listen to every detail about what this guy ate last Thursday. He might as well be one of Dingodile’s regular customers for how much he likes food.

Moe: Smells like re-fried beans.

Zam

Joe: It’s ugly, it’s gross, and it needs to be thrown into a fire.

Moe: Puppy!

Krunk

Joe: Reminds him of Papu Papu back on the islands. He does appear to be very territorial and hostile to outsiders like him since they’re from earth and such. The aggressiveness dialed back much to Joe’s surprise once he was told of an ancient prophecy involving himself and how it would affect Terra.

Moe: Wants to know why they have a statue of his brother even though he’s never been on this planet.

Nash

Joe: Does this jackass of a fish ever shut his stupid jaws for once? All he hears from his uproars are just a bunch of worthless nonsense that might as well be used as filler for dumb TV commercials. He hopes later on that this idiot dies of dehydration.

Moe: Is waiting for Joe to give him the signal to cut this dude into sushi.

Norm & Big Norm

Joe: Out of all of the aliens he’s had to put up with, these two seem to be the ones that he’d most likely to get along with. The smaller mime seems to know a lot despite not saying anything. The large one does all of the talking, and isn’t as big of an oaf despite the clownish appearance. Maybe they could share info with one another as a friendly exchange.

Moe:  Norm reminds him of how emotionally reserved his brother can be at times while also being smart with all of those books. Big Norm is tough and supportive, getting in some arguments while also wanting the best for his little buddy. He’s even got some cool video games found only on Fenomena!

Geary

Joe: Hates how loud and obnoxious this clean freak can get. It’s like they were made with faulty parts found in a wasteland before being washed in a cement mixer and then dumped into a hot furnace. How else would it explain their erratic behavior of wanting to clean their dirt-covered robes?

Moe: The brush and vacuum tickles him a lot, reminds him of those cleaning roombas that people love so much.

Bonus

Penta Penguin

Joe: He’s seen penguins around the coastline before, but not this one in particular. There’s also this rumor that this little guy survived being toasted by Dingodile by punching the ever daylights out of him. Joe believes it to be false, thinking that the bird must be one hotshot to come up with a bogus story for people to hear.

Moe: Would protect at all costs and give plenty of hugs.

Yaya Panda

Joe: Only had a few races with her in the dense bamboo forests. Another racing rival of his, but he considers her more of a worthy opponent when compared with Pinstripe and Oxide. Other than that, he doesn’t think much else.

Moe: She sounds cool and amazing. Now if only he learned to drive a kart like Joe.

[lancecharleson]

SAGE 2022 is here!!!

In a few minutes, Sonic Amateur Games Expo 2022 be going live to show off this year’s lineup of games and demos!!!

With that being said, there’s a very specific game that I’m gonna take the time to shill for a very good friend of mine!

https://superfreaksdev.itch.io/super-freaks-1-ultimate-edition

@SuperFreaksDev, a very cool and funny guy I've known since 2014, has been hard at work on remaking an old game in an unapologetically wacky, cartoony trilogy he's been chipping away at since 2012! A wombo combo of Sonic, DKC and Crash Bandicoot, this remake of an old game (he admits himself is primitive by his standards) hosts plenty of challenge and fun for all you platformer enthusiasts out there, as well as some amusing cutscenes that tell the silliest story you’ve ever heard! 

Anyway, I think he’d really appreciate it alot if you checked out his game!

He doesn’t frequent this site anymore, but his place is still here for you to check out here, but if you really want to interact with him to voice your thoughts and critiques on this game, you can check him out via his twitter!

And if you want to know more about the Super Freaks, and the goofy ass world they inhabit, you can check out the official website here!

https://superfreaks.neocities.org/

[australet789]

Talk to me about Uncharted. You've seen all of them now. How do you like the series as a whole? What was your favorite scene?

Oh man where to start

First of all i want to say, over and over again, how amazing the games are. I was totally speechless at the end of it. I’m literally in love with it. I was having a bad time these days (that’s why i was inactive for a while) and watching the playthrough…idk i felt really happy and full while watching it. Not only because of the commentary of the guy who was playing it but the whole story…it was just so good. It has been so long since i feel that way. But im digressing

World speaking the game developed really well. Loved all the character development Nathan went through. I totally grew fond of him and his attempts to do the right thing. He was really not a bad man, he loves a lot and cares a lot about the people around him. I totally get him. He wanted so much to be better that what people expected from him. He wanted to be a better thief. A better son. A better husband. A better brother. A better version of himself. 

I wont be tired of Uncharted 3 and how there he improved so much. I totally hated Talbot (sorry to the Talbot fans) when he drugged Nathan and made him runaway from Sully and Elena. You can see there a fragile man. He was so scared that he could hurt them he just fled. That reaction was so…visceral. He was totally terrified. That scene was so well done (tbh i really want to play that part so i can feel the heaviness of it tho). 

I’m not sure if the spanish dub changes the sound of teh english one but there’s a part while he is jumping over the boat where his usual groans when he jumps are not groans. Again he is scared. I totally appreciated that because he had been through a lot of stuff and this man is totally tired.

And then the scene with Elena. That freaking scene. 

I.LOVED. THAT.  The soundtrack there…the piano was so sad there i was…man i just….

I’m not gonna deny that i was confused at first of why Elena was so serious at the end of Nathan’s apologize but then I read in the wiki about the ring and that they were already married but because of Nathan they were separated…she just came back again…knowing that this man was only going to hurt himself again…and he came back to her…and the whole apologize gained a bigger meaning because Nathan was not only apologizing for his mistakes in Yemen and losing Sully and bringing Elena into it but…for everything. He realized how wrong he was, how much he was hurting them. That vulnerabilty in that scene…i dig it. I totally dig it and yes it’s my favorite moment in all the games.

My second favorite scene is the eclipse one. Man, holy mother of everything above. The way that happened…how Sully died…it was so cold…and when it was revealed it was just Nathan’s hallucination…one of his biggest fears being that…and the way you had to get though it. Again you are seeing a man scared of himself, that his bigger fear is hurting the one who loved him the most since he was a little kid. The father he never had.

What i like from Uncharted 3 is how the releationship were portrayed. Specially with Sully. He is one of my favorite characters too.

(i really can still talking about Uncharted 3 but i need to go to the 4 xD)

omg Uncharted 4 was beautiful

Altho i was a little shocked at the beggining cause the 3d models were a little different, specially for Elena. But i got used to it.

The whole prision thing with Sam and Rafe was really good. Altho i felt sorry for Vargas. tbh i disliked Rafe since that moment (sorry Rafe fans). Showing Sam’s “dead” there too was a really good move cause that added another layer to Nathan’s character and how broken he was (this poor man. he didnt deserve allt he shit he went through)

I totally appreciate Nathan and his efforts to doing, again, the things right? Him denying to do the Malasia job because it was illegal? He grew up so much then? 

I laughed my ass off at the Crash Bandicoot thingy lmao

Then Sam’s returning. And Nathan almost having a heart attack lol. Sigh, but i totally knew he was going to lie to Elena about it. I mean i get why he did it. Doesnt mean I agree with it. I totally was in Sully’s side (Sully is such a good father he loves Nathan and Elena so much?)

I liked knowing more about Nadine. She really wasnt a bad woman she just needed the founds. Bad she trusted the wrong man.

And she was totally right about Rafe wanting to do it just because of Nathan. I mean, he could have easily waited to the auction and then liberating Sam to have the information to get to Libertalia. There was no need to liberate Sam before except that he wanted Nathan to know about it.He wanted Nathan to know that Avery’s cross was there and that he could do nothing about it. But he subestimated Nathan and Sam.

And when Elena knew the whole truth. Man, poor Nathan he was a dead man. Even Sam not knowing Elena knew that his brother was going to be a dead man lol.

Nathan later’s conversation with his brother in Libertalia again showed how much he really wanted to do the right thing. He still loved to go treasure hunting but he wanted to do it the right way. But Sam didnt completly understood it. 

Oh man and when Rafe revealed Nathan the truth about Sam. Again, you can see a broken man right there. He really didnt deserve all that shit. Thank God Elena found him (bless that woman) because Nathan would have never got out of it. I liked how they make out about everything. How Elena noticed how much Nathan missed all the history stuff. How Nathan apologized even when he wasnt doing (now) nothing wrong. I again appreaciate the efforts of this man to control himself. And how he later rejected Sam’s attempts to go to Avery’s ship. 

The last confrontation with Rafe was good. omg i wanted to puch him when he slapped Nadine. How dare he. I was totally supporting her when she put a gun on his head. Nadine was also a victim of the circumstances. She just needed the money, she was right in not wanting the whole treasure. She really didnt hate the Drakes (i want to rewatch Lost Legacy now because i have more context so some dialogue will make more sense to me lol)

Elena’s gift to Nathan in the end was really sweet. They both missed that life, it wasnt just Nathan. So she understood him. I like how he hesitated in the beggining but then went all for it xD

Ah i would like to say that Cassie’s appearance surprised me but i got spoiled a day before about it xD (I was doing so damn well!)  But that was a good epilogue. They were so happy now i was…so damn nostalgic at the end of the video…they grew up so fast *sobs*

To resume: I love the games fully with all my soul, the character development was amazing, Nathan Drake deserved so much better and all the characters are going to be forever in my heart (except you, Talbot. Go lose yourself in hell)

[curious-shadow-cat]

Ok, something I’m worried about in Twinsanity remake though,

 ‘breaking the 4th wall jokes’. SO. MANY OF THEM.

To the point I’m getting annoyed by it. It’s only funny if you do it once or twice, NOT THROUGH OUT THE WHOLE GAME.

There are deleted scenes of Cortex constantly mentioning that they’re in a game.

“Oh, so it’s my fault again? I’m only evil because you need me to be!”

Not deleted but still. “I’m an evil scientist what did you expect? this isn’t a game.”

and then he says something about a giant robot and that he doesn’t remember that being part of the game. If I forgot anymore lemme know.

Other than that, everything else seems fine.

Well, actually, I’m worried about Evil Coco.

I’m just worried because of her looks, she’s going to get a ton of hate just like Tawna did years ago. It’s not that I hate it, it’s actually fitting since she’s the opposite Coco. Instead of being a genius and focusing on ways of helping others by inventing machines that can help people, she focuses on her looks, and how she can get away with whatever she does and get what she wants. She’s not as smart as Coco and she mostly cares about herself rather than her brothers. As long as someone looks like they have a lot of money or could be useful, she uses them until they’re no longer useful to her. Evil Crash is actually smarter but he focuses on tearing creatures to bloody pieces rather than using technology when he’s face-to-face with them. If there’s no one around to mess with he will build traps. What? You think Evil Coco built them? Nah. I can’t believe that. Not when she’s suppose to be the opposite of Coco. Evil Crash is brutal and would love to torture creatures as long as he get’s to eat them later.

I also have other ideas of the Aku Uka brothers in the 10th dimension.

Rather them being  exactly like the other, from what I’ve seen in the concept art, they’re VERY different.

Our Uka Uka:

-Impatient

-Can be merciful sometimes

-Will accept a challenge 

-Doesn’t accept defeat easily

-Does not show weakness in front of enemies

-Very loud and so on

So from what I saw in the concept art

10th Dim. Uka Uka:

-Cowardly

-Very shy

-Very quiet

-Backs out from a fight easily

-Very sweet

-Hates seeing people fight

-Hates seeing Cortex get hurt in anyway

-Doesn’t really think he’s helpful in anyway and blames himself for everything bad happening

-Doesn’t like fighting

Because he can be barely of help at all, the islands have pretty much gone to hell. And his evil twin Aku Aku doesn’t help either.

Our Aku Aku:

-Patient

-Wise

-Calm

-Friendly

-Fatherly

-Protective

10th Dim. Aku Aku:

-More impatient than our Uka Uka and he will do things without thinking through it, thus putting not just himself but also evil Crash and Coco in extreme danger. He won’t even care either. 

-Won’t hesitate to start a fight with someone

-Will treat Crash and Coco like they’re his minions which I think that’s why Evil Coco and Crash aren’t anywhere near their home because Evil Aku Aku is always inside doing nothing, so rather caring about each other, the Evil bandicoots and Aku Aku HATE each other. That’s why evil Coco isn’t around Evil Crash and they’re never around Evil Aku Aku because he’s WORSE. And the way things are going around the islands, Aku Aku is-believe-it-or-not- much more evil than our Uka Uka.

-He’s also very manipulative and won’t hesitate to make someone feel bad for any mistakes they make. Which is why Good!Uka Uka is the way he is now.They weren’t so bad when they were younger, he always believed Aku Aku was the best sibling he ever had, but as time passed, Aku Aku grew bitter and started blaming his twin brother for everything and because his twin cared about him so much he believed this to be true and has a hard time believing anyone else ever since Aku Aku betrayed him. He just couldn’t bring himself to kill his twin even though he’s the worst sibling, he still wants him alive. So, like the other Aku Aku, he trapped his sibling in a temple hoping he would not escape. He hoped one day that he would change and they could be brothers again. He has a hard time doing things on his own since he always depended on his twin to do everything and he always panics when he makes even the smallest mistakes to the point he’d freak out or start crying. Which is where Good!Cortex comes in.

I love the ideas of Good!Cortex people are coming up with, he’s just an all sweet guy, just hard to hate. Even sweeter than our Aku Aku.  I’ll explain that later though. 

[temporobinson]

Jesus it feels like I have found my N. Gin soulmate. My idea for an N. Gin redemption is always framed through a video game so please bare with me. I've had this little fanfic take in my brain for a while now and this is a great spot to put it.

The scene is Crash's dwelling, everything is serene. Crash and the gang are outside chillaxing to some nice music and Wumpa juice cocktails when all of a sudden BAM! Cortex and his band of misfit scientists come crashing (heh) onto the party in a sneak attack to try to get the Bandicoots before they can try to stop their next plan.

After a brief boss fight/environmental tutorial later, Coco angrily asks why on earth they are so evil. Cortex, naturally, gloats about it being in his nature and how it's fun to crush everyone beneath his boot. The others laugh, and so does N. Gin until he really starts to reflect based entirely off of his facial expressions. After that, every time you see him in a cutscene he is mulling over why he is evil, however he gets too stressed out and his missile starts smoking.

Eventually towards the end of the game, Cortex yells at him a specific insult that triggers a repressed memory; his father yelling at him, calling him a freak and a pansy, forcing him to wear a metal plate on his face to cover up his uglier half and sent off to Madame Amberly's when he couldn't take his whining anymore. He flunked out for being too gentle and decided to take his mechanical prowess into something a bit "manlier"--defense systems. One stray missile later and...

(Keep in mind that to be tonally consistent while still being dark and twisted that this is portrayed in a comedic light but shouldn't have comedy being taken away from the events presented to the audience. A "I'm going to hell for laughing at this".)

Feeling conflicted and having a bit of a crisis, instead of him being the usual pre-final battle boss fight, he helps Crash, Crunch, and Coco through a different challenge (like a mini boss gauntlet with humourously troubling commentary) before facing Cortex himself. Feeling like shit he flees to earth shortly before the Cortex Vortex explodes for the umpteenth time and goes into hiding to try to find himself.

All of that leads to the pictures above.

the way cortex treats his underlings would leave anyone in need of at least a little therapy, especially his own personal punching bag igor. but when you’re hiding out on some off-the-map island with a bunch of cartoon animals you may just have to settle for vulcan mind-melding with a friendly sapient magic mask instead. i figure aku-aku would probably be capable of doing stuff like this seeing as throughout the third game his also-a-magic-mask brother is possessing cortex by sticking himself over the doctor’s face.

this goes back to my redeemed n. gin concept; the little guy’s in a very rocky place mentally after finally tearing himself away from his master and kinda just feels lost and stranded without the man there to control his whole life at every moment. he’s really conflicted and really fucking scared. he wants to do the right thing, but it wouldn’t take much more than a few deep-cutting words for cortex to pull the guy’s strings and coax him right back over to his side. i think aku aku is the one he ends up finally Talking About His Problems with first, and after a few of these conversations it becomes clear to the old man that a lot of nasty stuff’s been drilled DEEP into this poor guy’s brain and he’s gonna need a lot of help overcoming all of it, and furthermore that there’s a lot of good in him buried underneath it all that’s worth helping him rediscover. once gin feels ready to expose such a vulnerable part of himself to a former enemy, aku starts using his magic to come inside and hold his hand through all the scary shit; they start working through all those conflicting feelings together from the inside out. i think he and aku end up forming a deep friendship that’s just full of nice quiet contemplative moments and a lot of big philosophical conversations together. two thoughtful old guys chillin and thinkin about stuff

(the wispy light in the two black-background ones is aku-aku! i figure he manifests as some kind of formless essence of himself for these surreal bits inside gin’s head.)

[thebluesideofthemoon]

The Wall #41: NORM OF THE NORTH

Happy new year, everyone! I sure hope you all had a really great and safe New Year's party, and I for one welcome our new year with open arms! Things can only go up from here, folks. But I'll save all of the formalities for later because there's movies to review! Ahhh yes, it's January and, for me, that only means one thing: IT'S CATCH-UP MONTH (Not "ketchup", you freak, "CATCH UP")! That is correct, for the entirety of January all I'm going to do is catch up on 2016 movies that I missed and talk about them here. Now, I have talked about a few of these before, but not on The Wall, so just for the sake of making it official I'm going to be covering them here, so you can expect to see me re-review Zootopia, Batman v Superman, The Jungle Book, Ratchet & Clank, and The Witch pretty soon, as well as other movies that I saw but never got a chance to talk about. Also, because it's January, AKA the month of supreme shit, let's talk about one of the shittiest movies of 2016: Norm of the North. Yeah, I've already talked about this movie in detail, so I'll try to keep this one short. This is the first actual 2016 movie that I watched and... man, that is not a movie you want to open up the year with, to put it mildly. So why did Hell freeze over to give us this turd? Let's find out.

This movie is a literal piece of excrement. Norm of the North is simply foul.

In this movie a talking polar bear, voiced by Rob Schnider, goes on a big, wild adventure to the foreign land of New York City in order to stop this corrupt environmentally-unfriendly asshat named Mr. Greene (Geddit?!), voiced by Ken Jeong who wants to build condos on the arctic because… I have no freaking idea WHY he wants to do it! He just wants to do it because “hurr dee durr, dis iz a green movie and zave the envairomen”. He also has to rescue his grandfather whom he thought was dead, but was actually kidnapped by Greene. There’s also this “subplot” about this marketing lady voiced by Heather Graham who is trying to get a recommendation from Greene so that her daughter can go to his own alma mater because all other schools are not intellectually challenging. If this description of the movie sounds like a mess it’s because this movie is a fucking mess.

There is so much wrong with this movie, but the worst thing about it is the plot. As I made clear from this description, this movie has a plot that feels like a bunch of stories that were mashed together in the script just to make the movie meet the standard running time to actually be a movie. I mean, the movie starts talking about Norm and his poor hunting skills and how he’ll become a better hunter, but then it switches to this plot about trying to save the Arctic and keep people from living here, which is also one of the stupidest ways to cram in an environmental message because it makes no sense! Even the movie acknowledges that living in the arctic is a stupid idea! This gets even worse when it turns out that Greene’s plan to make condos in the arctic was doomed to fail anyway just because his popularity was down the tubes, but Norm actually HELPS Greene get more popular in a stunt where Greene attempts to SHOOT NORM IN PUBLIC (and keep in mind that everyone in New York thinks- for whatever reason- that Norm is just a dude in a polar bear costume), WHERE EVERYBODY RECORDS WHAT HE DOES, YET BECAUSE NORM SOMEHOW STOPS HIM GREENE BECOMES MORE POPULAR AND PEOPLE WANT TO BUY HOMES FROM HIM?! Why no, this doesn’t make a lick of goddamn sense, thanks for asking!

To say that the people behind this movie didn’t think the plot through would give them the credit to think that there was a shred of thought put into it in the first place. No, this plot was shat out and stitched together Frankenstein-style just to make this movie meet the standard running length of a movie. This wouldn’t piss me off so much if it wasn’t for the fact that ALL THE PLOTS ARE ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS. The plot involving this mom and her kid? You can cut it out and not miss a thing. Norm’s grandfather? It’s not even brought in until halfway through the movie, and even then it doesn’t feel like it adds anything so you may as well just chuck that out the window. Hell, the plot about Norm trying to save the arctic is only complicated by the fact that Norm actually decided to go to New York to become Greene’s marketing tool to sell the arctic to the population of New York.

In other words, this is a movie whose conflict COULD HAVE BEEN RESOLVED EASILY IF NORM LITERALLY DID NOTHING!

As if that’s the only thing wrong with the movie. Sure the plot sounds insane but it’s held together by the power of incredibly tired clichés. They even have the obligatory subplot of giving Norm a half-assed love interest and they don’t even do this RIGHT- Norm’s love interest is in the movie for less than SEVEN MINUTES, most of which are spent at the very beginning of the movie, and then at the very end where, FOR NO REASON, now she’s the mom to Norm’s children. All this for one character who is a complete buffoon, and someone who we know absolutely nothing about save for her name, and that Norm likes her a lot because he, of course, has to act like a tongue-tied idiot. This movie also holds one of all-time least favorite clichés- the one where the kid wants their parent(s)’ attention by quitting their job simply because they work too hard. That cliché can go dive into a volcano and die of a slow, painful, boiling incineration as it carcass erodes into nothingness for being one of the most godawful clichés to EVER exits, AND THIS MOVIE DOES IT BECAUSE IT WAS MADE BY SATAN HIMSELF!

And this movie also features song and dance numbers because why the hell not? One of the songs featured is “Shut Up and Dance” by the band Walk the Moon. A song about ROMANCE featured in a sequence that has nothing but dancing. So the people who worked on this movie couldn’t even be bothered to have listened to a three minute song to understand its context- who am I kidding? No they couldn’t. It’s only in there so they could have a song to sell on the shitty soundtrack that nobody’s buying.

Oh, and this is just a minor nitpick, but the animation sucks hard. All the characters move like they’re made out of rubber and have no weight to them, almost everyone does the same over-the-top wild gestures that were clearly only done because “kids love crazy shit”, and not because it’s an actual performance by a character or anything. The worst offender of this is Greene himself who is always moving in really annoying ways. The man movies like a noodle, and it’s so not fun to watch. This movie just doesn’t have the budget- and for sure not the talent- to do a wild-energy cartoon because its elements don’t allow them to. Comparing this to something like Storks, that has very fluid animation and knew how to keeps its timing varied up to keep the movie’s energy from becoming stale or irritating. Also, it had a far more appealing art style, unlike in Norm where everyone looks like a cheap chew toy you’d buy for your dog.

This movie is filled with so many problems that I didn’t even get to talk about another infuriating aspect about it- the Lemmings. These guys are by far the most blatant example of ripping off that I’ve seen in quite some time as they are an obvious cash-in on the Minions, except with less personality, the Lemmings only have four different designs total, and they can literally do anything regardless of how little sense it makes. At some point Heather Graham’s character remarks that these Lemmings are both “cute and marketable” without a hint of irony. In some ways I’ve got to give some respect to this movie for having the balls to be this openly blatant about its shittiness and borderline plagiarism, but if the movie wasn’t so infuriating to watch I would be saying this as a reason to see it, but it’s soooo not worth it! It really says a lot that the fact that this movie has a twerking polar bear in it is the LEAST of this movie’s problems.

Sadly, the only positive- and this is a big stretch- that I can say about this movie is that at least the voice actors are trying even though they have absolutely no funny material to work with, and it’s pretty clear that they were given absolutely no direction aside from “Ken Jeong just scream all your lines” or “Schnider just be yourself but with a slightly higher inflection in your voice”. This movie was absolutely miserable to sit through. It’s a big slog, the plot is beyond insulting, the message is completely worthless, the movie is just a big eyesore, and the saddest thing of all is that it’s not even a shocking level of bad to be memorable, aside from the fact that those who (unfortunately) DO see it only discover how awful it truly is.

(1,370 words. Music: Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex- Arctic Antics).

I fucking hate this movie. It's easily the second worst animated movie I've seen this decade, one of the worst movies ever, period, and the fact that it was going to be released as a straight-to-DVD but was pushed to go to the big screen just as a glorified advertisement for the DVD really does make my blood boil. But at least nobody in their right mind would ever defend this abomination. It really says something when not even a little kid can get a shred of joy out of watching this.

If not for things like Yoga Hosers and Foodfight!, then this movie would have been an easy 0, but make no mistake, Norm of the North is one of the most wretched animated movies ever made.

Well, that's one movie down... and I've got a bajillion more to go. Joy. I'll see you all next time.