#Cheap Ass Gamer

[daftpatience]

i think i am decent at beat saber ⚔

[noiivvern]

[madamechrissy]

PS5 remote Sukuna ruins your twitch career!

pairings - PS5 Remote Sukuna x gamer reader (YEP)

contents/warnings- You're a pro streamer, and your remote has broken! You dig up your old favorite remote, but it just SUCKS! - You're so mad you throw it, but that's when a sexy ass demon comes out of it! He's NOT HAPPY with being locked in your junk drawer, so he decides to give you a lesson in the form of backshots!!! Explicit sex/oral (m receiving) sukuna calling you a slut

My contribution to the unholy trifecta @indiewritesxoxo @yenayaps <3

You're trying your best but you keep losing in every match during your APEX stream. It's because your favorite remote is broken and you're stuck using this old crappy one with a joystick that keeps spinning you to the left! This was the first remote you had and shoved in a drawer forever, but you hoped it'd get you through the game.

"I know, I know! I carry you all the time, pick up my banner, shit! Yeah I'm the number one Loba so- and I'm broke!?" You're cursing with your teammates, furious as this stupid red remote keeps fucking yanking every direction.

It's an old, raggedy remote, your cat literally chewed on the toggles so the rubber is falling off. The buttons are sticky - you don't even know what from! You long ago loved this damn thing and called it your lucky remote until you bought a fancy pro one for several hundred dollars.

You even nicknamed it baby girl, and would give it a little kiss as you climbed to the top - the number one player for your main in the country. Usually, streaming made plenty of money, but you had far too many expenses this month (and a really bad Love and Deepspace addiction - oof!) and ol' reliable had to come out.

"Come on baby girl, work with me," you're biting your lip as you sit in your bright pink gamer chair, with your kitten headphones, and people are talking shit in the chat, earning you talking shit right back at them. They're tipping you a fuck ton telling you to buy another, but it's late and you'll have to order online!

You feel the damn remote vibrating against your lap as you wait for them to revive you again, cursing as it shakes your hands, you're not even sure what it's doing now. It keeps vibrating nonstop, flashing different colors over and over, and you're smacking at it, shaking it, but it's like it's possessed!

"Oh fuck this," you pick up the remote and throw it against the wall now, your name isn't crash out queen for no reason! "God, I can't wait to get paid again."

You're turning off the PlayStation now, when a hand -a huge tattooed fucking hand with black nails - grips your wrist. You scream then, looking up to see a huge man with red eyes and pink hair, naked!?!? You can't help but look and see his cock thick and huge even on soft, growing under your gaze.

"What the... who the fuck are you? A stalker?" He chuckles then, towering over you - god this dude must be seven foot tall almost!? His cock is just swinging all heavy, raising up more as his strong hands grip your arms now.

"I'm baby girl or whatever dumb fucking name you call me, insolent brat!" You gasp now, eyeing where your remote was thrown - and it's GONE!

"No way," you're shaking your head, and he smirks at you, before picking you up like you're some doll. "Hey!"

"How about I fucking throw you, huh?" He tosses you across the fucking room and you land on your bed, it bounces as he's unceremoniously tossed you. "Call you a 'cheap peace of shit' what do you think?"

"I'm sorry, fuck are you some... demon!?" He's chuckling then, the sound far too throaty and inviting, when he yanks off your cat headset, throwing them. "Hey!"

"Tired of your attitude, you're always raging - you're not even that fucking good at playing-" You smack him then, hard, and his ruby eyes glare, but the problem is you've made him hard now.

"I'll fucking exorcise you, demon!" You're shoving at him, when you notice his thick, throbbing cock, wrapped with veins and leaking pre. "Are you horny right now! Where are your clothes??"

"You think remotes fucking have clothing?"

"Go back in there then!"

"I think I'll cum inside you instead," he's yanking your panties down, ripping them in the process. "Had me shoved in your junk drawer next to your broken vibrator? Throw shit out."

"Should've thrown you out - ngh!" Sukuna's shoved two long fingers right in your hole, it gets way too wet, you're trembling, thighs shaking on either side of his hand as you cry out. "What are you doing, you can't fuck... you're a remote!"

"Hah, I was trapped in there, but finally you threw me hard enough you freed me - fuck you're wet," he's moaning now, scissoring his fingers in and out, stretching you too much. "Also, think I didn't notice how you'd set my on your lap when I vibrated? Slut."

"Am not even! You're a stupid... oh fuck, there... remote- no, don't stop!" He's yanked his fingers out then, sucking your drippy cunt off them, his cheeks hollowing.

That's when it hits you -

He's hot.

Your attitude shifts a bit as his cock gets even bigger, red tip leaking pearly drops onto your bed, and your tummy clenches. "Oh, dropped the attitude huh? Ya think I'll let you cum?"

He's shoved your thighs up now, putting his tip along your slit and rubbing, groaning as he feels a wet cunt for the first time in years. He's been sealed away for at least six years in this fucking remote, last time he was shoved in a Nintendo Gamecube! He's not going back in again.

He's determined to make sure he fucks you good enough you never send him back, also, Sukuna always missed you, locked away! He'd only see glimpses of you with new remotes, and that made him very sad. He loved you touching all of his toggles and buttons </3

"Beg for it, brat," he's talking shit even though he honestly wants to tell you you're pretty, but you're shaking your head. "Stubborn huh? Beg for it."

"Put it in! No - no not there!?" Sukuna's pressing against your ass hole instead, tip burning as you panic, he throws his head back and laughs at you.

"Can't take it up the ass? Pathetic mortal."

"Oh shut up - fine, please... what's your name? Baby girl?"

"I'm not baby girl!" He shoves his cock deep then, you're screaming out as your cunt barely takes him, drooling down his cock with each stroke as he presses deeper. He watches your tummy bulge and smirks at the sight. "Look, fucking wrecking your insides"

"You're... ah... so baby girl - your hair is so - pink and - hah!" Sukuna's fucking you hard now, for his pleasure, mean fucking strokes as he leans down, glaring and grabbing your chin, pink hair falling over his brow that you kinda wanna run your fingers through.

"My name is Sukuna, I'm the King - don't you laugh brat - of curses, okay!?" You're gasping in pain when he shoves so deep he hits your cervix now, you're so wet you hear it, the squelching wetness of your cunt, over and over. He shoves up your top, smacking your tits then, grinning as he sees them jiggle.

"Ah! Ow, baby girl!"

"I'm not baby girl!??!" He's done with your insolence! He flips you over then, using your crumpled up skirt as leverage as he starts making mean backshots. "Call me my name, now brat."

"S-Sukuna, fuck..." He's moaning then, shoving your head against your pillows, railing you as your game sits in the lobby, your character making weird NPC moves that somehow match the rhythm of Sukuna's cock.

"Beg me to cum, huh? Pathetic brat, look at you," he's talking shit because he's close, your gummy walls are gripping him too fucking good, he can't take it. He groans and leans over, shoving you in his prone position, biting your ear. "Beg me."

"Lemme cum, please... best remote ever..." He's moaning at that, it's just what he needed! He's reaching a hand around, finding your clit and running in circles, you're gripping your sheets and whining out, head falling back for more of his bites.

"Gonna fill you up s'good, won't even game without my cock inside you, huh?" That sounds great to you actually, you're so close now, whining and nodding when your - remote!? - kisses you, and drinks your moans.

His saliva drips in your mouth as he busts his hot white ropes in your cunt you're cumming with him, milking him for more, when he finally pulls back, he's standing and coming over to your drawer then, as you catch your breath. His cum is dripping out of your pussy, so much.

"What is it?" You manage to as, and he's holding up one of your mini skirts and glaring.

"This will never fit me!? You need to buy me a wardrobe."

"No, I need a new remote! I can't afford clothes too!" He's standing now, walking up to you, dick still on hard and dripping from you.

"You will have me naked all the time so you can game more!?"

"I'm a professional streamer!"

"That's it," Sukuna's shoved his cock in your mouth then, pulling at your hair, you get so fucked out you order him clothes when your direct deposit hits </3 Your pussy hurts too much to game right now anyway.

NOT EVEN SORRY anymore <3

perm tags - @cutelittlesugarfairy @kitananami @todorokiskitten @grapesandraisins @kymber96 @vamqyx @sleepykittyenergy @mistytojigetolover @jaeminsmilk @thisisew @innocent-and-angelic @amethystarchild @ohreallyfriend @raendarkfaerie @rjreins @ti-mame @ohio-gyatt-mega-sigma-rizzler @aeeliy @yourlocalcatscammer @angelzrulez21-blog @sabztov @beereadzzz @zetianzz @gamerhere @imsuperawkward @thelightknight21 @poopooindamouf @bhocalatebhipbookies69 @whorekyuu @simp-plague @chlefnikkl @jud3thedude @inotaku-talkz @morganmorine777 @1tsleesee @tolerantxo @hoesoflamentation @lizatonix @allilovessatoru @yamadramallamaqueen @delphiakira @felix4eversun @erendipi @nazzysworld13 @tenaciousavenueavenue @lucilleheart

[mamayan]

Shigaraki Tomura

cw: NSFW • Holiday Filth • Crush Shigaraki • Modern AU • dry humping • language • implied alcohol usage • pathetic virgin Tomura

Thinking about being Shigaraki’s little sister’s best friend.

Being invited over to her house and being so excited unbeknownst to your friend to see her nasty older brother. Tomura holed up in his room, feet up and knees bent as he sits in his fancy leather gamer chair spewing filth into the mic of his headset. Being given the most toe curling glare from him as he looks up from under his messy bangs and sees you peaking at him through a crack in the door. Sneering and telling you to “fuck off” and you do, scampering away to shamelessly rifle through the medicine cabinet in the bathroom for any of his hygiene products. There’s not many. It doesn’t matter though, since he left his dirty clothes from last night in a bundle on the bathroom floor beside the shower and toilet.

Your friend babbling on endlessly about family drama but you can’t pay attention as dinner begins and Tomura is forcibly dragged down the stairs, eye bags heavy from lack of sleep, mumbling out vague answers on how college is going. He notices his little sister’s annoying friend though, you, who always seems to be judging him from the way you constantly have your eyes on him. It pisses him off, and he’s not afraid of outing you in front of everyone.

“Why don’t you find something better to stare at bitch,” and cackling as the home filled with relatives and friends erupts at his rude comment and language. His family is comforting you, telling you he’s just having a rough day, he doesn’t mean it, etc. Your friend is intent on vengeance but you assure her it means nothing to you. She’s used to the behavior and agrees he’s not worth the trouble, being pulled away by relatives intent on being nosy into her personal life.

Tomura did mean it though, and you know it too, and it still doesn’t stop you from sneaking away upstairs while the house slowly boozes up and begins to become rowdy. Tomura slunk away to return to his game he’d been playing with friends, some stolen snacks and a cheap bottle of vodka in his hoodie pocket he takes a straight swig from every now and then as he gets heated into his gaming match.

He’s nearly surprised to see you open his bedroom door and not his mom or sister intent on giving him a headache.

“Back to keep staring whore?” He’s snickering as he flips up the mic, his game paused for a moment while waiting on another friend to join the match.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t expect you to lock the door, a brow cocked up as he reassess you.

You’re much cuter now. The baby fat gone and a young woman blooming, barely an adult now but it didn’t stop his eyes from lowering to your chest that was rising and falling quite quickly. He’s always been so used to seeing you attached to his bratty shit sister that he’s never appreciated you before.

“Wanna do more than stare though.” He’s even more shocked to see you tossing the ugly Christmas cardigan you matched with his sister, the plain dress under easily lifted over your head and dropped too. Right in front of him.

“Ha, oh yeah?” He’s baffled but not upset, dropping his feet and manspreading wide as his cock hardens in his sweats. He’s shameless in palming himself through them, setting his controller aside and licking his dry lips as you come closer, cute little matching bra and pantie set doing little to hide your hard nipples poking through the fabric and pussy lips. “Fuck, look at you, all grown up huh?” His eyes on you as you slide the dainty fabric covering your cunt down and stepping out, removing your bra next slowly, letting him drink you in. You’re nearly vibrating with excitement, eyes wide and bright as you straddle him.

“Little pervert, you wanna ride my cock?” You smile, because he’s acting like he isn’t some loser virgin with trembling hands digging into the fat of your soft ass. You can feel he’s just as strung up now, his palms lightly sweating as they slide up and cup your breasts, eagerly pitching and pulling at your nipples while you roll your hips over his chubby cock. “D-damn, where’d’ya learn to act like this?” He’s nearly about to cum from touching your tits alone, but the feel of you grinding down on him is making him lose it.

“I watched porn.” He groans, finally losing patience and pulling his dick free from his sweats, ready to naively try and enter you without any prep. He’s huffing and breathing heavy as he rubs the tip through your folds and trying and failing to hump into you. He’s just bumping uselessly against your tightly closed entrance while he moans and buries his face in your chest, happy when you begin to run your fingers through his hair.

He’s coming a minute later. No penetration necessary for him to spurt his hot spunky load against your pussy as he nearly passes out from how hard he cums.

“Holy fuck—!” You nearly have to muffle his cry of pleasure as he grips you for dear life.

The banging on his door a minute later making you both fumble for clothing as your friend’s voice comes out in a battle cry for your location.

“You fucking asshole! You hurt her feelings and now I can’t find her!”

You both only look at one another in amusement and embarrassment.

“Try looking up your ass since her face is always buried there!” He shouts back, and you have to bit back the comment you want to yell at him. Little does anyone else know the true reason you love going to the Shigaraki house when Tomura is home.

[evieelyzabethh]

Can I request modern au viktor dating headcanons (perhaps streamer au where viktor is dating streamer reader) 👉👈

streamerau!Viktor whose girlfriend starts out as a relatively small creator. Your streams don't get a lot of reach, but it's never bothered you much anyway. You did it more for the passion of gaming rather than making serious money off it. Your set up had been customized and built prior to the idea of even getting a twitch account, you already had countless hours logged into your Minecraft and Sims 4 worlds, as well as having a pretty lengthy collection of games all on your own

streamerau!Viktor who is the reason you even start. One day, he jokingly teased that with how many hours and how much money you had put into your hobby, you might as well try and make some money off it. He's very aware of what it takes to go viral, a pretty face, and you have the prettiest one he's ever seen. He is also quite confident in your skills to go viral. You have the personality, you have the skills, you have the knowledge. He's not even a gamer himself and he still enjoys watching you play and hearing all the interesting fun facts and history that you know about.

streamerau!Viktor who is such a visual opposite to his girlfriend. Part of the differences are played up for the camera, the comically pink and purple set up, the light-up headphones, even the type of content you create, spending less time in COD lobbies and more on cheap cozy games on Steam. He hardly ever steps into your recording office, fearing his tall, lanky, and dark demeanor may come off as some creepy ghost in the corner of your pastel-led room.

This isn't to say you only play those games, but that is simply what gets the views and is the least hostile space. When you do venture out of the typical cozy game aesthetic, it typically adventure puzzle games, like Tomb Raider or Uncharted, or maybe a story-based horror game like Mouthwashing or Until Dawn. In the very early days of your streaming adventure, you and Viktor would play vintage games from your collection, like Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat on your N64 or Sonic on your Sega Genesis. Once you start getting traction, he asks for them to be deleted. He's doesn't want his face all over the internet nor his reactions.

streamerau!Viktor who is quite aggressive when he plays games. He is the first to get loud, the first to blame the controller, the first to claim his screen was lagging and that's why he lost. He is a bit of a sore loser. He also just isn't a fan of games that don't require some sort of skill or technique. He hates luck-based games, or games that depend heavily on rng. Y'all played the first FNAF game ONCE and he lost it because Chica hung around the door so he couldn't open it to alleviate his battery usage and was incredibly pissed when he lost because of that.

streamerau!Viktor who is more into more card games (my personal headcanon is that he is a great Spades partner) but still tunes into every single one of your streams. He thinks it's funny to leave very obvious 'pro-tips' like "don't mine at night with nothing but a wood sword" or "maybe try killing the creepers" or "next time, you should do a back flip off the ledge". Though he doesn't play with you, he does get alluded to in passing, typically by Grim rather than his actual name. The nickname came from one of your Sims streams where you laughed about how much your boyfriend looked like the Grim Reaper and then everyone started calling him that until it eventually got shortened to just Grim. At some point, someone dug through the archives to try and find him. The old streams were long gone at this point, but Viktor had somehow snuck into the corner of a few videos.

Speaking of which, Shadow Man Viktor definitely became a meme on the internet after he was spotted, specifically to that one Berleezy audio (IT IS HOT AS HELL IN THIS FUNKY ASS, HOT ASS ROOM IM IN...IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER???). He doesn't find out about it until you tell him. Viktor is thoroughly not a social media guy; he often gets confused when you make internet references on the stream and asks about what they mean later. That or he quietly texts you "I'm employed, what does that mean?" He never moved over to shorter form content when Vine and TikTok got really popular, and he definitely brags about having a longer attention span because of it. He would be more annoyed with the whole ordeal if his face wasn't obscured, but you can't tell who he is by the low-quality stills. This being said, your followers anxiously await the heavily teased boyfriend reveal.

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[2:14 pm]

(cw: cursing, reader is a lil teensy weensy bit toxic but it's fun!!!)

"Did you still want to go get food?" you ask from your position on gamer!Haechan's bed. The same spot you'd been in for the last, wow, almost 3 hours.

"Fuck off! Get my 6 motherfucker!" Haechan yells, before answering softly, "yeah, of course, baby."

You rolled your eyes, he wasn't even listening to you. He had been listening to you when you showed up 4 hours ago when he was very calmly showing you all the changes he made on his Animal Crossing Island. Then, and this was smart, he slid his Switch over to you and told you to make any changes you'd like. So you spent about an hour on his Switch, placing decorations and buying clothes to send to your own island before you realized he was keeping you busy so he could play Fortnite.

Just like he'd been playing last night when he insisted you call him to talk. That casual, and some might even call it cute, conversation lasted all of 20 minutes before he was screaming so loud, you heard him across the room even when your phone wasn't on speaker. Since he'd been so adamant about playing last night and played for so long, you thought today he'd be over it. WRONG! Apparently, there had been some update or something and that reignited his Fortnite obsession.

"Well, do you want to go out like we planned or do you want me to order something?" You asked, turning to lay on your side.

"Of course, my love- oh you stupid fuck! Get back here!" Haechan groaned as the keyboard clacking got even louder.

You pulled a blanket over your face to muffle a groan of your own. A groan of annoyance an frustration more than anything. You'd give him 10 more minutes and then you'd take drastic measures.

You checked the time, 2:14, perfect. You figured you could have at least a little fun while you waited.

"I think it would make you totally ugly if you shaved your head, but why not do it anyway? What do you think?" You asked with a smile.

Haechan nods, "Totally agree, babe. Someone come get this stupid ass little 10 year old that tried to steal my loot."

"And you should pay for our food! And dessert!" You added.

"Of course, baby! Oh, oh, dude! Dude! Headshot! That was a headshot! Holy shit! That was gold!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"And I was thinking maybe after dinner we can go sell your whole set up. Maybe to the first guy we see for like a dollar even less!"

"Yeah, definitely. Dude, I'm out. Fuck, I lagged. Let's join a new game, I'm tired of playing with these fucking kids," Haechan groans, running his hands down his face.

Perfect, you stood up and quickly moved to his computer, pulling at some random plugs until the screen shut off. You placed your hand over his mouth with a sickeningly sweet smile, "We're going to go eat now. Then, because you agreed, we're going to shave your head, you're going to pay, and then we're going to sell your little computer and the whole set up."

You could feel his lips moving beneath your hand, "But-"

You tsked with a fake pout, "Baby, you agreed."

"I wasn't listening! I don't remember what you said!"

"You don't listen when I talk?" You ask with an arched brow.

He opened his mouth and quickly closed it to take a second to think. He hummed, "I promise, the next time we have plans I won't get distracted by games." You gave him a look as if to ask, and? he cleared his throat, "and I won't try cheap gimmicks to distract you. And I will pay for dinner and for the rest of the day all my attention will be on you and no one or anything else. But I won't shave my head or sell my set up."

You smiled, "I was joking. I just wanted to see if anything would catch your attention. Now, let's go, I'm hungry."

You were both on your out when Haechan asked, "do you think I'd look good with a shaved head? Is that why you asked."

You couldn't even look at him, choosing instead to focus on the sidewalk beneath your feet, "yeah, baby. Of course..."

[zyart-jpg]

“404: Not Just a Gremlin”

Pairing: Wooin Yoo x Reader

Summary: He thought you were just a dude that supplies him drugs.

Tags: Genderbender, Suggestive, Drugs mentioned, Clubbing, Alcohol usage, Reader is a storefront runner, COMEDY I SWEAR I TRIED

A/N: im unemployed, yall!!!!!!!!! finally have freedom ;D

It wasn’t clean work, never claimed it was.

But it paid well—and you were damn good at it.

You weren’t out pushing pills or mixing chemicals in some underground lab. You were behind the screen. Rerouting transactions, scrubbing trails, keeping the network alive. Fake storefronts, crypto wallets, ghost accounts—you knew the supply, the runners, the paths.

Call it what you want. You called it business.

Tucked behind flickering monitors in your busted old PC bang, you ran a quiet little empire. To outsiders, it was just a gaming café—cheap rates, sticky keyboards, and the constant drone of teens yelling over gunfire and lag.

But to those in the know? It was the pickup point. Dealers came in, grabbed their box, left. No names, no faces. Easy.

You? Just the owner. Quiet, forgettable. Exactly how you liked it.

Well—almost.

“Heya~”

There it was—the downside.

“How’s my favorite manager doing, huh?”

You didn’t even look up. Hoodie low, fingers typing. Just sighed loud enough for the dramatics to hear.

The duo was already leaning over the counter like they paid rent. The shorter one—trademark smug grin, lollipop in mouth—popped it out just to talk more shit.

“Still giving me the cold shoulder? You’re breaking my heart, manager,” Wooin whined like a brat who didn’t get his candy.

You stood, grabbed the box from the back shelf, dropped it on the counter without a word.

Wooin Yoo: Club rat. Dealer. Professional pain in your ass. Somehow turned pestering you into a nightly routine.

He picked up the box with a grin. “Thanks, bro. You’re the real MVP.”

“Shut your ass up and scram,” you muttered, sliding back into your chair.

“Cold as ever.” He clicked his tongue. “Seriously, what do you even do in here all day? Jerk off to code?”

You didn’t look up. “Yeah. And you just ruined the climax. Thanks.”

He laughed, slapping the counter. “You’re such a freak. I like that about you.”

“Overdose already,” you mumbled.

“See? This is why we vibe,” he said, tapping the lollipop against your monitor. “Mysterious, hostile, probably sleep-deprived—you’re just my type, bro.”

You finally glanced up, just enough for your eyes to meet his.

Flat. Bored. Unbothered.

“Flirting’s not gonna get you a discount.”

Wooin grinned. “Didn’t say it was. Just sayin’—if I swung that way...”

You raised a brow. “If?”

He blinked. “Wait, are you flirting back now?”

You leaned in slightly, deadpan. “Do you want me to?”

He blinked again. Laughed nervously. “Okay, kinda scared. Kinda intrigued. Can’t tell if you’d punch me or kiss me.”

“Flip a coin,” you said, already turning back to your screen.

“Goddamn,” he muttered, staring a little too long. “I swear, you’re the hottest gamer goblin I’ve ever met.”

You didn’t correct him.

Let him think what he wants. It's easier that way.

–

Clubs were a balm for his messed-up soul—no doubt about it.

Let the bass rattle his bones, let the lights blur his thoughts. Scope the room for someone pretty, slip a tab or two, maybe end the night tangled with a stranger. That was the rhythm of nightlife—the kind he lived for.

Morality? Please.

He was never gunning for sainthood—where’s the thrill in playing it safe?

If he wanted a quiet life, he wouldn’t be out here pushing pills for fast cash. Hell, he wouldn’t have split his tongue, pierced half his damn face, or carved himself into someone society couldn’t swallow.

So yeah—look him in the eye and see if he gives a damn.

And speaking of things he does give a damn about—

There she was.

Perched at the bar, legs crossed, skin glowing under the wash of neon. Pretty. Effortless. Bored enough to be dangerous. Just the kind of trouble he liked to chase.

Wooin slid in beside you with the ease of someone who’s never been told no in a way that stuck. Elbow on the counter, lollipop tucked between his teeth like punctuation. Confident. Lazy. Dangerous.

“Hey,” he said, voice dipped in syrup and sin. “You look like you need something sweeter than whatever’s in that glass.”

He caught the sideways glance you gave him—sharp, bored, and unimpressed. Your lashes barely lifted, and yet that one look rolled straight through him like you’d already read the script and hated the ending.

He smirked, unbothered.

“Damn, rolling your eyes when I haven’t even misbehaved yet?” he chuckled, teeth flashing as he leaned a little closer. “That’s cold, ma.”

The bartender slid over a glass of whatever he always got—he didn’t look, didn’t need to. His focus was locked. There was something about the curve of your jaw, the way you leaned against the counter like you owned the night. 

Familiar. Too familiar.

His smile twitched, just slightly.

He took a sip, studying you from the rim of his glass.

“Have we met?” he asked, tone still smooth but a shade more cautious now.

You turned to him slowly, all deliberate grace—like you had no reason to rush, like time moved for you. Hair slid off your shoulder as you tucked it behind your ear, revealing a discreet earpiece that gleamed under the bar’s chaotic lights.

Wooin’s gaze dragged over you, and yeah—he’d smash. Obviously. Silk slipping over skin like a whisper? lips painted that deep, cruel red? You looked like trouble in the prettiest packaging, the kind of girl who walked away with a guy’s pride in her purse. 

But something tugged at the edges of his mind.

The way your eyes narrpwed. The tiny sigh that escaped you. That look of exasperation like you’d known him all your life and were already tired of his shit.

His smile faltered. Just a flicker.

He squinted at you, the light shifting overhead. Shadows rolled across your face and for half a second—something clicked.

His stomach dropped.

No way.

It couldn’t—

“Shut your ass up and scram, Wooin,” you muttered, not even sparing him a full glance.

His jaw practically hit the floor.

“Manager?!” he half-shouted, then slapped a hand over his mouth as a couple at the end of the bar turned to look.

He leaned in closer, eyes bugging out, voice dropping to a frantic whisper like it was state secrets he’d just uncovered.

“No fucking way—you’re a chick?!”

You rolled your eyes so hard it was a miracle you didn’t pull something.

“Wow,” you muttered, flat and unimpressed. “Sexist and stupid. What a combo.”

“Holy shit,” he exhaled, practically vibrating as he stared at you like you’d just sprouted a second head—one he was weirdly into. “You’ve been hot this whole time? And you never said anything?!”

You cocked a brow, already exasperated. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I mean, I just—” He gestured vaguely at your face. “I always thought you were, like... some dude...or a gremlin in a hoodie. You always looked like you hated daylight and happiness.”

You sipped your drink. “Still do.”

“Yeah, but now you’re—fuck, you’re, like—dangerously hot.”

You turned fully to him, resting an elbow on the bar as you looked him over with deliberate slowness. “And you’re still wearing that ugly-ass yellow glasses and thinking it’s a personality.”

He clutched his chest. “Oof. Brutal.”

“Accurate.”

He let out a laugh, grinning even wider. 

“I can’t believe this. All this time, I’ve been annoying the hell out of you thinking you were some grumpy little dude with carpal tunnel and a porn addiction—”

“And I let you think that,” you said, tilting your glass toward him in mock cheers, “because you’d never shut up otherwise.”

“I don’t know whether to be offended or turned on,” he muttered.

“Go with turned on,” you said dryly. “You’re easier to handle when you're distracted.”

He snorted into his drink, then leaned in, eyes gleaming now—not with shock, but curiosity. Interest.

“Okay, but, like—real talk. You always this hot under all that fabric? Or did you do this just to mess with me?”

You smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

His gaze dipped—subtle, lingering, not even pretending to hide it now.

“Actually,” he said, his voice dropping a touch lower, warmer, “yeah. I really, really would.”

The air between you thickened—less banter now, more charged. More aware.

You raised your brow again, but your smile was slower this time. 

 “Wooin.”

He blinked. “Yeah?”

“You’re staring.”

“Yeah,” he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world. “I am.”

Silence. Or maybe not silence—just that kind of hum that fills the air when things shift. When tension stops being playful and starts becoming something else.

You looked down at your drink, then back up at him, eyelashes brushing your cheeks as you spoke.

“My shift ends in twenty,” you said. Casual. Measured. But not vague.

Wooin’s smile twitched, then grew into something unholy.

“Cool,” he said, leaning back with a lazy stretch. “I was just about to ask if you wanted to keep talking somewhere less... flourescent.”

“Oh?” You sipped, slow. “And where would that be?”

He shrugged, eyes glittering.

“I dunno. My place has softer lighting. Warmer... atmosphere. Fewer strangers.”

You tilted your head, pretending to think. 

“Sounds sketchy.”

“Only mildly,” he grinned. “But I’ll even throw in a second lollipop and let you bully me the entire night.”

You laughed into your glass, shaking your head—but you didn’t say no.

Didn’t have to.

You just said, “Twenty minutes, then.”

And Wooin, already victorious, tapped his glass to yours.

“Worth the wait.”

MASTERLIST

[awesomelynerdymama]

Y'all are amazing!!! I love that I have people that love this little story. Here's chapter two! I hope y'all like it and I appreciate any and all interactions.

Title: Love is a Funny Thing

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OFC x Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Triggers: Character significant other death, masturbation, voyeurism, some grown up language, general awkwardness that arises when you're around someone you like and you're trying not to be obvious

Disclaimer: I own nothing Top Gun or Top Gun: Maverick related. I just borrow the characters for my own self indulgent purposes.

Chapter Two

The smell of coffee woke you the next morning. Since none of the girls knew how to work your coffee machine, it meant that the boys were back over and since it was ungodly early, you were betting they were trying to make amends. You weren't feeling the greatest, you'd probably had more wine than necessary to unwind after they left, so you decided to make them wait and take a shower before leaving your room. 

You decided on an everything shower, so after that, skincare, doing your hair, and getting dressed at least an hour and a half had passed. They'd probably suffered enough at this point, so you quietly made your way down the hall to find Bradley and Jake tucked into the corners of your sectional with a girl tucked into their side each and Charlotte sprawled out in the middle. They were watching gamers on YouTube and you would have bet money that their brains were slowly melting, but they were at least pretending to pay close attention to what the girls were explaining. 

Okay, it melted your heart a little bit, but you still hadn't forgiven Bradley completely for being an ass the night before, so when you quietly cleared your throat, you smiled at the round of “mama” that came from the girls, but paid no attention to the guys. 

You kissed each girl on the head and then headed into the kitchen to see if there was anything left to eat. It looked like the boys had gone all out, making a stop at your favorite bakery, which was so popular that you had to get there early to get much of anything and they had gotten everything. They'd also restocked your favorite creamer and made eggs Benedict for you, since none of the girls would eat it, but it looked like they had made them French toast too. Damn it, they weren't playing fair. Your kids and food were your two weaknesses. 

They must have been watching and saw your face soften because as soon as you let your guard down, Bradley was at your side. 

“Can we go outside and talk,” he inquired guardedly. 

You nodded, “But first, let me get a cup of coffee.”

He waited silently while you poured coffee into your favorite mug and doctored it to your liking and headed through the pantry to the back door. He held it open and you stepped through and sat on the top step. Bradley carefully sat down beside you, which was unusual since he usually flopped down everywhere like a gangly labradoodle.

“I'm sorry,” he started, pausing to gauge your reaction before continuing, “I don't know what I was thinking. Well, I do. I was thinking that as soon as you find someone new, Jake and I lose our place in your lives and the thought of that is more than I can take. You and the girls are the most important things to us and having to take a backseat while some new asshole steps in to fill Mike's shoes, I can't handle that, so I panicked and acted like my own special kind of asshole.”

Silence fell between the two of you as you sipped your coffee and Bradley waited for you to put him out of his misery. Finally, you laid your head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of your head.

“You made me feel cheap, you know. Like I was easy. Like this is easy. It's not. I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. I've never done this before and, God willing, I'll never have to do it again, so all I can do is muddle my way through and try to figure it out with the support of my friends. So, when I don't have that, it's terrifying and excruciating. I need you in my corner, no matter what. Am I going to start dating soon, I don't know. I don't know how the girls will take it, so that's one thing to consider and I don't know if I'm even ready. Honestly, the easiest option would be to date you or Jake. Too bad y'all are already taken,” you chuckled at the last part. 

Bradley say quietly, probably digesting everything you said. You weren't sure what to do to drive home the point that you weren't actually mad, but hurt, so you leaned over to kids his cheek at exactly the same time he turned to you and your lips ended up catching the corner of his mouth. You both kind of froze for a second before you pulled away and he turned, seemingly chasing your lips.

You pushed up off the step with one hand, your mug still firmly grasped in the other, and said, “Let's go back in, I'm starving and y'all went to all the trouble of getting up at the crack of dawn to woo me with treats. Are we good?”

Bradley looked like he wanted to say something, but chose not to and nodded. He took your outstretched hand and pulled himself up then opened the door and you ducked under his arm to go back through the pantry into the house. 

The girls had all pounced on Jake while you'd been outside, so you took the time to make yourself a plate and sat at the dining room table to eat. Looking at the TV you saw the girls had conned Jake into watching Rise of the Guardians. A solid choice, but one you usually reserved for watching around Easter or Christmas. It was August, so not prime holiday watching time. 

With Harper on one side, Lily on the other, and Charlotte in his lap, Jake seemed enthralled by the movie. It was adorable and a far cry from the cocksure pilot most people got to see. He wasn't that guy, but he damn sure did the best to make people think he was. The funny thing was, he was so damn good looking that most people, especially women seemed to overlook the attitude. You weren't sure what that said for womankind, but probably nothing good. 

Jake must have felt you looking at him because he suddenly looked over, caught your eye, and winked before returning his attention to the movie. Your eyes almost rolled out of your head. Bradley had taken over his post in the other corner of the sofa again, with Harper gravitating back to his side, so you took the time to enjoy your breakfast, finishing up just as the movie was coming to an end. 

“Take that, Pitch Black,” Charlotte shouted, launching herself out of Jake's lap as the villain was returned to the darkness under the bed with his freaky shadow horses. She obviously was not afraid. 

All three adults laughed loudly at her antics and you came around the kitchen counter just as she turned to climb back into Jake's lap. You weren't sure what came over you, but before she could get there, you clambered over the back of the couch and stole her spot.

“My uncle Jake,” you stated in a snotty tone, sticking your tongue out at her. You felt Jake's hands come up to hold your back and the backs of your thighs as Charlotte launched herself at you to defend her turf. Turning so you were sorting facing the TV with your legs between Jake's, the man could man spread with the best of them, you caught her mid leap and started tickling. The shrieks of laughter said you were doing a good job and the squeals of “I'm gonna pee” made you stop. 

You set Charlotte back on her feet and ordered all the girls back upstairs to get dressed, so y'all could get the pork into the crock pot, since they all loved to help you cook. All three trudged upstairs with minimal complaint and it was once they were gone that you realized that you were still sitting in Jake's lap with his hands on your hips and that he was incredibly hard underneath you.

You tried to just stand up, but your legs were tangled in a blanket and all the extra movement had Jake subtly groaning while he gripped your hips tighter and subconsciously, at least you thought, rutting up against you. You bit your lip to keep from making any noises of your own, bent forward, untangled your legs, and stood up, throwing the blanket behind you to give Jake something to cover up with. 

“I'm, umm, going to go make sure the girls are actually getting dresses,” you stammered out then immediately hurrying up the stairs. Silence reigned after you left. Bradley opened his mouth to say something, but Jake cut him off. 

“Don't. Just don't. That's nothing you can say that's going to make what just happened any better and I need a second to get things under control,” Jake explained from the couch where he was sitting with his head back and his eyes closed. 

“Babe, I know you've been on my back about acting weird around Hannah lately, but at least I didn't dry hump her on the couch,” Bradley teased, ending in a full on belly laugh.

“Ugh, I know, but she just feels so right and I can't help the way my body reacts when she's wriggling around in my lap,” Jake responded, hopelessly. 

He was saved from more humiliation, by the backdoor opening and closing, followed by the cacophony of dog greetings. The guys looked to the kitchen and saw Elizabeth loving on the dogs as they tried to knock her over. 

Bradley spoke up first, “Hey, kid, how's your day going?”

Elizabeth pulled a face at being called a kid, but didn't engage, “Good. I just need Mom's help with something. Where is she?”

“Upstairs with your sisters,” Jake answered. 

Both men jumped about a foot in the air when she stood at the bottom of the stairs and yelled at the top of her lungs, “Mooooooooom!!!!!”

A few seconds later an equally voluminous response of, “Whaaaaaaaattttt!!?!??!?”

Thankfully they were spared more auditory abuse by you appearing on the landing. 

“Can I borrow an outfit for my date tonight,” Beth asked as she started rooting around in the fridge.

Jake could tell you were annoyed at the way she asked just by looking at your body language, “Hold on, just because you live in the apartment over the garage doesn't mean you can barge in here whenever you want asking for stuff and stealing my food.”

There was a silent pause and then both you and Beth started laughing hysterically. You couldn't even pretend to be mad anymore. 

“Who the hell am I kidding? That's exactly what it means,” you acquiesced.

You tried to keep the interest out of your voice when you added, “What kind of date are we talking about? Anywhere or anyone I would know?”

The look that Beth threw you around the fridge door told you that you wouldn't be getting any more information out of her right now. You weren't sure if that was because of the additional company in the room or just because she didn't want to tell you. It was then that you noticed you were wearing the same outfit. An oversized T-shirt, tank top, and short shorts with a high ponytail made you look almost like twins. The only difference was that she was about five inches taller and you were twenty years older. 

“Looks like you already raided my wardrobe for that,” you observed before adding, “remind me to go through your closet soon to get half my clothes back.”

“The fact that you haven't noticed until now that you had clothes missing means you have too many, anyway,” Beth explained sagely, then gave you a kiss on the cheek and bounded down the hall.

“Oh, to have the energy of a 23 year old,” you lamented, mainly to yourself, having forgot that Jake and Bradley were there, so you jumped a little when they both chuckled. 

“All right, if y'all are going to be here all day, you get to help get ready. Go get whatever y'all are bringing, we'll put it in my fridge and then I'll put you to work,” you ordered lightly while donning your apron and pulling the pork out of the fridge. 

Both men stood, rounded that couch, dropped a kiss on your cheek, and quickly hurried out the back door to get their stuff and get back. 

———————

It was about an hour later when you and the girls were just finishing pouring your homemade barbecue sauce over the meat and covering it when the boys came back in with that “we just fucked, but are trying to look like we didn't” look. You just shook your head and rolled your eyes. 

It's not that you were mad at them or anything, they were allowed to have their love life, after all, everyone was, but seeing signs of it in others just always underlined what you missed with your husband and put you in a funk. So when both approached you with provisions in hand you just pointed them in the right directions, explained everything else was done, let the girls know they could go play with their friends outside for a while, and ducked down the hall to your bedroom to compose yourself. At least, that was what you were intending to do.

You made it to your room and pushed the door closed behind you, but you were so stuck in your own head that you failed to notice the lack of an audible click indicating that the door had latched. You pulled your T-shirt and tank over your head and let your shorts pool around your feet before flopping down on your pillow still completely mortified by what had happened with Jake in the living room and, even though you would never openly admit it to anyone, you were more than a little turned on by it as well. Between that and the disheveled look both the guys were sporting when they got back from their house, your mind began to wander.

Sinking further into your bedding, your hands began drawing patterns across your skin starting at your shoulder, across your collarbone, and down onto your chest. The rose gold lace of your bra did little to hide the pebbled peaks that your nipples had become and you couldn't help the soft sigh that fell from your lips as you wantonly rolled one between your fingers. As flimsy as it was, the lace barrier was still in your way, causing you to impatiently pull down both cups of your bra exposing your heated flesh to the room. Then, as one hand remained, teasing your nipples, the other snaked its way into the front of your panties, which much to your embarrassment, were already soaked from the events of the morning and anticipation of what was to come. 

Images of Bradley and Jake flitted through your imagination. Scenes of them together intermingled with scenes of one or the other or both with you. Your fingers drew languid circles around your thrumming bundle of nerves before dipping lower to slide in and out of the wet heat that was building between your legs. You were in your own world of fantasy and completely unaware of anything going on around you. 

Had you been aware of what was going on in the rest of the house, you would have heard Jake and Bradley start arguing as soon as you were out of sight. Bradley was adamant that Jake needed to apologize for making you uncomfortable and Jake was equally sure that the best way to handle the situation was to just smooth it over and pretend it never happened. They continued to bicker for a few more minutes before Jake realized that Bradley wasn't going to let it go, so he pushed himself up from plush sofa in your living room and slowly made his way toward your room, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to say to you that wouldn't make things worse. 

He was so deep in thought that he almost missed the muffled sounds coming from your cracked bedroom door, but what he saw just as his hand came up to push against the door made him stop in his tracks. You were there, in front of him, sprawled on your bed, one hand teasing your nipple and the other moving rhythmically in your barely there shimmery, pink, lace panties. He knew he should leave or make you aware of his presence, but he couldn't have moved if his life depended on it. He was completely transfixed by what he was watching. You were absolutely breathtaking. He knew you were beautiful. Anyone with eyes could see that, but there was something about the flush of your skin and the way the light filtered through the blinds onto your skin that made you seem otherworldly. 

The breathy sighs and moans that were falling from your slightly parted lips had his length standing at full attention and he barely registered someone coming down the hall toward him until Bradley's hand gently came down on his shoulder. Jake quickly turned with a finger to his lips and pointed to the door. This was wrong. They both registered that at the same time, but neither had the willpower to leave the spot they were standing.

Jake could feel Bradley harden against his hip as they both watched you climb closer and closer toward your peak. The hand at your chest moved up to your mouth as you bit down on your knuckles to muffle your noise, but it did little to help and that same hand soon wrapped around the wrought iron of your headboard as the other hand picked up speed. 

Then, just as they were getting really uncomfortable with watching the scene before them, it happened. You peaked with your back arched, your skin glowing and two words on your lips. Two names, actually. Their names and any doubt they had about waiting for you was thrown out the window. You wanted them. Both of them. Just as much as they wanted you and all they needed to do was give you time to realize that you could have that outside your fantasy. 

As you came down from your high, the guys slipped back down the hall to the living room, not wanting to risk any awkward interactions, but both reeling over the entire experience they just had.

You came bouncing down the hall a few minutes later with color in your cheeks and a cheeriness in your voice that both would have written off normally. Knowing where that exuberance came from made both of them blush slightly as you wrapped both of them in a hug over the back of the couch and kissed their cheeks. They avoided eye contact both with you and each other.

“What's wrong with y'all,” you questioned happily as you settled between them on the couch in your outfit for the cookout.

Neither answered, but you just shrugged and reached for the remote as you slid your feet into Bradley's lap and leaned back on Jake getting comfortable and making them decidedly more uncomfortable. Neither could get the images of you from earlier out of their heads and to basically have you in their laps, but with no way to act on it, was basically torture.

A soft giggle brought attention back to having a conversation with you and Jake moved his arm, so you could lie back in his lap before speaking. 

“What so funny, darlin,” he inquired quietly as Bradley started rubbing your feet.

“It just comes to my attention, occasionally, that my two best friends are two of the hottest pilots on the Navy and ironically, neither have any interest in me whatsoever, which is actually a good thing because even if that weren't true, I'm so mentally and emotionally damaged that I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for another relationship,” you explained with another little laugh.

“You're not damaged,” Bradley soothed as his hand worked magic on your feet. 

“The man you loved more than anything, that you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with died. Anyone would be reeling after that,” Jake added, his thumb rubbing soothing circles through your shirt, just under your breast.

“Even after six months,” you challenged. 

“Six months is nothing,” they responded in unison. 

“I guess I'm just getting lonely,” you confessed, eyes closed to avoid the pity or judgement you were afraid you'd see in their eyes. 

All hands on you froze and the next thing you felt was Jake gently brushing your hair back from your face, urging you to open your eyes. You did and all you saw reflected back at you was love. 

“Darlin, as long as we're around, you're never alone,” the weight of his words reflected in his eyes. 

You tried not to squirm or move from your spot. You know they'd let you, but something told you they didn't want you to. 

“That's not what I meant, but you know that,” you replied in a dreamy voice, your eyes never leaving Jake's.

“I know,” he instantly confirmed, his hand sliding up just slightly to allow his thumb to graze the underside of your breast, “But we mean that too.”

Now your brain was screaming for you to run, but you couldn't break away from Jake's gaze. He has the prettiest green eyes with gorgeous blonde lashes. Your brain was trying to find anything to focus on besides what Jake had just confirmed. Bradley had stopped rubbing your feet and was now slowly trailing his fingers up and down your calf. They were waiting for a response. 

Your brain couldn't comprehend what Jake had just said, “You're serious?”

He just nodded with a slight smile on his lips. You lifted your head to look at Bradley who nodded as well, giving your leg a little squeeze. 

You needed space and to not have their hands on you. You pushed off the couch and paced in front of them in your living room.

“You can't be serious. Y'all already have each other. That's how couples work, two people. I should know because I was in kind of a serious one for twelve years and another serious one before that for ten years,” you explained rapidly as you paced.

Neither man seemed bothered by the explanation or the pacing. They both just watched you with bemused expressions, like they were expecting this reaction. You finally stopped, hands on your hips, “There's no way it would work. Y'all have each other already. You'd eventually get bored or things would get too complicated and then you'll still be together and I'll be alone again only without my best friends this time. Not to mention I just said yesterday that I'm not ready to date yet and I meant with one guy, not two.”

Your arms dropped to your sides as you finished and Jake had just opened his mouth to reply when all of you heard a scream from outside. Your stomach dropped when you heard it because your mom instinct knew that scream was someone hurt, not someone happy or someone mad, but someone legitimately hurt. 

You completely forgot the absurd conversation you were having and ran for the door. Flinging it open, you saw all the kids huddled around near the curb and heard soft crying. Rushing over you saw Heather's niece, Millie, curled into a ball and holding her arm. It was already swelling.

“What happened,” you asked, sounding more calm than you felt. 

All the kids started talking at once, a quick “enough” from you and they silenced again. 

“Harper, baby, what happened,” you started again, singling out your daughter that usually had the straightest head on her shoulders.

Harper drew herself up to get full diminutive height and said, “Millie was trying to ride the curb on her skateboard when she fell off and it made this gross crunching sound and then she started screaming.”

You gathered the poor little girl in your arms, careful not to bump her elbow and turned to the guys, who you realized you knew instinctively would follow you, and started explaining what needed to happen, “Okay, I'm going to take her to the ER and call Heather on my way there. She's at work, so if she can't leave, I'll stay with Millie until they release her. I need y'all to finish getting everything ready for everyone coming over tonight. I have a list on the fridge of what everyone is supposed to be bringing. There are paper products in the pantry. Beth knows how to make the barbecue sauce for the pork and that should be done in about two hours. The girls need to change their clothes before everyone gets here at four. If you need me, text me.”

Bradley cupped your face in his hands, “We've got everything here. Go and keep us posted on how she's doing.”

You leaned forward and kissed his cheek out of gratitude only to have your mind brought back to your previous conversation making you blush and look away only to catch Jake's eye. He winked and you rolled your eyes. They were impossible already, but you had a feeling that was going to go to a whole different level, especially since you never finished your conversation. 

Now was not the time to worry about that, though. You quickly carried Millie to your car, bucked her into one of the booster seats, and headed for the ER. Heather was going to kill you. You knew Dean was back out on the road and Heather had to run to work for a little bit, so you said you'd keep an eye on Millie in the front yard with your girls. They did it all the time and no one got hurt. 

You were in the middle of mentally beating yourself up when your phone rang. It was Heather. 

“Hello?”

“One of your insanely hot boyfriends called and said Millie got hurt. Is she okay? Do you need me to come meet you,” Heather responded without a greeting.

“No, I'm taking her to the ER just to be on the safe side, but I've got it under control. We'll call it payback for the weekend Mike and I went out of town and all three girls landed in the ER with a stomach virus while you were watching them,” you said with a slight chuckle, relieved that she didn't seem at all mad. 

“You will never be able to fully pay me back for that. I still have PTSD from it and y'all were home before they were even out of the worst of it,” Heather retorted with obvious horror in her tone.

“Well, keep me posted, and I'll come relieve you as soon as I'm done here. I know you have everyone coming over to the house today,” she continued. 

“No rush. The guys are handling getting everything finished at the house,” you spoke before thinking and then mentally facepalmed.

Heather chuckled knowingly, “They're at your house, taking care of your children, and getting your house ready for company and you're going to sit there and still try to tell me they're not in love with you?”

“We're not having this conversation again. I'll keep you posted on Millie. I love you. Bye,” you ended the call quickly, not trusting yourself to not blurt out what y'all had been talking about right before Millie's accident. That wasn't a phone conversation. That was a bottle of wine conversation. 

You pulled into the miraculously almost empty ER parking lot a few moments later and quickly carried Millie into the front desk. The registration staff were helpful, gave you the paperwork, and had you take a seat. Thankfully, you knew most of Millie's information from the close friendship between your families and you had it filled out by the time they called her back. 

Things were going smoothly until it came time to x-ray Millie's arm. You weren't her guardian, so you technically couldn't give permission for any tests or procedures. You called Heather, explained the situation, and she was there within minutes. She tried to shoo you out the door, but you refused to leave. Millie had gotten hurt while in your care. You weren't just going to cut and run, so that found you both sitting in the little room with curtain walls playing on your phones while the tech took Millie to x-ray.

You decided to text the guys to see how they were doing. 

Hannah: Hey, how are things going? 

Bradley: Your smoke detector makes the most annoying noise ever. Did you know that? 

Jake: Don't listen to him. Everything's fine. Food is all ready, Beth oversaw all final preparations, and is just as much of a hard ass in the kitchen as her mother. 

Hannah: Me? A hard ass? You must have me fucked up with someone else. 

Bradley: You made Mickey cry last time he tried to help. 

Jake: And gave Reuben PTSD flashbacks.

Hannah: If I'm such a hard ass then why do you two always offer to help?

Jake: Because we love you. 

Bradley: And the bossy thing is kind of hot. 

Hannah: Ugh, I don't know what I'm going to do with y'all. 

Bradley: I have an idea. 

Jake: SHUT UP, ROOSTER!!!!

Hannah: No, I walked right into that one. He's twelve and couldn't resist it. 

Bradley: Hey! 

Hannah: Anyway, let me go and get finished up here. They should be bringing Millie back soon. We really need to finish our conversation from earlier, though. 

Jake: We will, but we're in no rush, so it can wait. We're not going anywhere. 

Bradley: Nothing's really changed for us. You're just aware now. 

Hannah: Maybe not for y'all, but my world just got turned on its head for the second time this year. Although for a decidedly better reason, I'm not sure I have the ability to handle all that right now.

Jake: Take all the time you need, darlin. We're here when you need us. Whatever that looks like. 

Hannah: Thanks. I'll be home soon. Love y'all. 

Bradley: Love you too.

Jake: Love you too.

“So what are your dynamic duo up to,” Heather guessed as soon as you looked up from your phone. 

You felt yourself blushing, “Okay, so I need to tell you something, but if you say ‘I told you so’, I will never tell you anytime ever again.”

“Oh my God, they made a move,” she shouted. You quieted her with a loud ‘shhhhh’ and rapid arm flapping. 

“Well, kind of. They told me they're interested in a relationship with me. Whatever that would mean when there are three people involved,” you explained quietly, playing with the spot where your wedding ring had been. Mike had made you promise not to wear it longer than six months after he died and you had held up your end of the bargain and took it off a couple weeks ago on the six month anniversary. There was still a faint tan line on that finger.

That was the hurdle that you had to get over. The three people thing you could figure out. It would be complicated, but doable. Getting over the feeling that you were cheating on Mike, though, that had to change if you were ever going to be with anyone else. It had only been six months. It seemed like a second and a lifetime all at the same time. You cried less often and thoughts of him were less painful, but when the pain did hit, it still took your breath away. How were you supposed to move on from the love of your life? 

Heather brought you out of your reverie by saying, “It's not like it's just anyone. It's Bradley and Jake. You're practically in a relationship with them already, just without the sex.”

There it was. The one defining aspect of a relationship that you weren't ready for, weren't sure you'd ever be ready for again. Sure, you had fantasies and a girl's little best friend to help you reach the goal that usually comes with sex, but actually sleeping with another person or persons? That was totally different.

The guys deserved someone that could be all in when it comes to a relationship​with them and you weren't sure you could do that. It wouldn't be fair to them. You had to tell them no and hope that it didn't ruin your friendship. 

The tech brought Millie back a moment later and the doctor came in a few minutes later. The bad news was that Millie had broken her elbow. The good news was that it was a stable fracture, so they could splint it and put her in a sling. It definitely could have been worse. 

About thirty minutes later, you were all on your way back home. Heather and Millie stopped at their house a few down from you and after making Heather promise to call you if she needed anything, you continued into your own driveway. It looked like everyone was already here. 

The inside of the house was quiet, so you made yourself a drink and headed to the backyard. Everyone was circled around the fire pit talking, drinking, eating, and listening to Javy play his guitar. You paused in the doorway, looking over the little family you had found. 

Natasha was in deep discussion with Penny on one of the benches. Their significant others, Javy and Pete, on either side of them. As you watched, Reuben bet Mickey he could beat him at Cornhole and they got up to make their way to the boards you kept at the back of the yard. Beth was lying sideways in the hammock with all three of her little sisters lying around her while Bob slowly pushed them as Beth and he talked. He must have made a joke because she threw her head back and laughed. The look she gave him as her eyes came back to him made you pause. Was there something going on there? How would you feel about that? He was closer in age to you than her, but large age differences were common in your family and Bob was a great guy, so you would just stand back and see what happened. 

Your gaze finally landed on the two men you had been looking for since you stepped into the doorway. Both of them already had their eyes on you and you felt yourself blush at the attention. You felt awkward and weren't sure what to do until the rest of the crew noticed you too and called you down into the backyard. You were making your way to an open Adirondack chair when a hand shot out and gently grabbed your wrist. You looked down to see Jake smiling up at you. You quickly glanced around to see if anyone else noticed, but no one seemed to be paying attention, so you let him lead you down into the bench between him and Bradley. 

Jake left an inch or so between you, so that you could feel the heat coming off his body, but you only touched if one of you moved in the other's direction. Bradley on the other hand scooted over as soon as you sat down so you were pressed together from your shoulders to your feet. 

You glanced up at him with a roll of your eyes, “Really?”

He just smirked and shrugged before turning to start a conversation with Maverick. 

“How's Millie doing,” Jake questioned from your other side. You turned to face him and almost bumped into him as he'd leaned in to talk to you. Your eyes went automatically to his lips and they quirked into a knowing smile as he steadied you with a hand on your shoulder. 

“Shut up, Seresin,” you shot at him, blushing once again. 

“Wasn't planning on saying a word, darlin,” he answered soothingly. Letting his hand slide up from your shoulder to cradle the side of your face. 

Your eyes started shooting around to the rest of the group, but everyone was too involved in their own interests to notice the two of you.

“Relax. This isn't any different than how things were before this afternoon. No one's going to say anything because this is how we've always been together,” Jake reasoned running his thumb over your cheek. You leaned into the contact, enjoying the feeling of his large hand on your skin. He leaned in and for a second you thought he was going to kiss you before he turned slightly and kissed your temple. 

Suddenly your stomach made the most embarrassingly loud noise and you realized in the chaos of the afternoon you hadn't eaten lunch. Jake stood, offered you his hand, and pulled you to your feet. 

“Go get food. There's tons. I'm going to go check on Bob. He is entirely too interested in Beth for my liking,” Jake ended his statement with a slight growl. 

You chuckled and patted his chest, “Be nice. He's a great guy.”

Jake looked down at you questioningly, but you just winked at him and started toward the house. Jake was right. There was more food than y'all would ever be able to eat tonight and almost twice as much to drink. You made yourself a plate and were just finishing up making yourself another drink when the back door quietly closed. You felt the heat of Bradley's body when he stopped just behind you. 

You took a deep breath before speaking, but didn't turn around, “Do you need help with something?”

“Yes,” his throaty response had you taking another deep breath as heat pooled low in your belly. 

You finally turned with maximum body contact thanks to Bradley not moving. The hard planes of his body did nothing to calm the beating of your heart as you looked at him through your lashes. It would be so easy to kiss him. All you would have to do is rise up on your toes a little and you were sure he'd meet you halfway, but you couldn't. The risk was just too great and the odds of something going wrong were too high, but God his lips looked tempting. 

“Bradley, we can't. I can't,” you spoke in a breathy tone that normally would have been embarrassing, but right now you couldn't find a reason to care. You ran your hands up from his chest where they had landed to wrap around his neck to pull him in for a hug because you just couldn't force yourself to break away from him completely. 

Bradley pulled you flush against his body and ran his hands up and down your back slowly from your shoulders to the very lowest part of your back before placing a slow kiss at the pulse point on your neck and pulling away. He had been hard and hot against the lower part of your stomach and his hooded eyes mirrored the desire that would bet money showed in yours. 

“I can't leave y'all alone for a minute. Can I?”

Jake was leaning on the doorframe to the pantry having made it in the door unnoticed. You blinked at him a few times before coming out of the tension filled haze you'd been in. 

“Umm, I'm just going to get back outside. I'm being an absolutely awful hostess,” you stammered, grabbing your food and all but running for the door. Jake, thankfully, moved well out of your way. You weren't sure what you would have done if either of them had touched you again just then. 

This time you made it to the chair you'd been shooting for earlier, giving you some distance and a fire between you and the guys. The night air cleared your head and soon you were laughing about some of the newest Tiktoks that you, Natasha, and Penny had sent each other.

The boys were still inside. Staring each other down. Neither willing to give an inch. 

“You're going to drive her away,” Jake accused. 

Bradley scoffed, “She's not a fragile flower. She's a strong woman that deserves to know what her late husband blessed for her.”

“She's not ready,” Jake shot back.

Bradley bowed up, “How do you know? You weren't just standing here with her in your arms. She was ready and would have been willing of you hadn't interrupted.”

“You are as pretty as you are stupid,” Jake spat as he pushed off the doorway to stand just in front of Bradley, “She's ready for sex, yeah. That's nothing, but a relationship, especially with two guys? She's nowhere near ready for that. Your dick, as impressive as it is, is making your decisions right now and it's about to fuck you out of the best thing you've had since me. Also, on that note, hands off in front of Hannah for right now. I think it makes her feel conflicted and she's getting that enough for right now.”

Bradley shook his head, “I don't get it. How do you control yourself? I get around her and all sense goes out the window. I love her and it completely throws me off. I just want to be with her in every way.”

“I love her too and that's exactly why I didn't give in to my baser instincts. I'm so scared to lose her that I can't give in,” Jake spelled out, hoping Bradley would understand. 

Jake stepped right in front of Bradley and pulled him in for a slow, heated kiss. They were both rock hard and ready, but they pulled back and kept their hands to themselves. Hands off meant not going at it in the aforementioned woman's kitchen. 

“We need to give her the letter,” Bradley murmured.

Jake shook his head firmly, “She's still not ready. It'll just make her feel more guilty now. She's close, but still not quite there.”

Bradley growled in frustration and swiped his hand over his face, “All right. Fine. I'll try to control myself because the only other option is not being around her and I don't think I could handle that.”

“You can do this. I know you can,” Jake said supportively with one last quick kiss before pushing Bradley toward the door, grabbing beers for both of them on the way out.

You caught Bradley's eye as soon as they came out the door, but thankfully, they went back to their seats on the opposite side of the fire pit. You didn't trust yourself to make good decisions after a couple of drinks and more than six months alone. You were mentally debating the merits of a one night stand when Beth calling your name brought you back to reality. You looked over and saw that all three of her little sisters had fallen asleep around her on the hammock. 

Pushing yourself to your feet, you saw the guys making their way over too. Wordlessly, Jake scooped up Lily and Bradley gently raised Harper into his arms, leaving Charlotte for you. You paused just watching them and noticing how no one else even seemed to notice what they were doing. It was just normal in your group for the boys to help with your daughters like they were their own. It made you tear up a little and then even a little more because as much as the girls loved Jake and Bradley, you knew they'd give anything for it to be their daddy carrying them again. 

Finally pulling yourself out of your thoughts, you leaned down and scooped up Charlotte, “Hey sweetheart, why don't y'all take a drive down to the beach. It's always been your favorite at night.”

Beth gave you a breathtaking smile, wrapped her arms around your neck, and whispered ‘thank you, mom’ in your ear. Straightening up, you looked over at Bob and favored him with a raised eyebrow. That's all you needed to say. He gave you a nod and then a hug. Beth stood and Bob's hand immediately went to her lower back to guide her to his car at the front of the house. You saw every male pair of eyes left in the group follow them. You loudly cleared your throat to shift focus to you. A slow shake of your head and eye contact with each man got your point across. Leave it alone. All of you. 

You were just thankful that you were able to get them out the door while the other two were in the house. Quickly, you made your way back across the yard to the door and were just about to juggle Charlotte in one hand to open it when it came open from the other side. 

“We weren't sure what to do about pajamas,” Bradley whispered. 

You squeezed by him and made your way up the stairs with Charlotte. Silently you laid her in bed, got some pajamas from her dresser, changed her, and tucked her in with a kiss. You repeated the same process with both Harper and Lily. Coming out of Lily's room you found Bradley and Jake waiting on the hall.

“Y'all know where their clothes are. You've put away our laundry before, so I know you know where their pajamas are. What's going on,” you questioned suspiciously. 

“Well, the girls were sleeping and we didn't want them waking up and freaking out because we were changing their clothes without their permission,” Bradley explained. 

Your heart swelled at their care for your daughters’ body autonomy and comfort. They were just so damn considerate of your whole family and it made you love them even more. How were you supposed to not fall in love with them? Other than some minor quirks and some quick tempers, they were pretty freaking perfect. 

Turning, you headed back downstairs and outside where everyone was packing up to leave. Some get togethers went later, but everyone was old enough to realize that getting to bed at a reasonable hour was actually pretty amazing. You hugged everyone and everyone promised to do it again next month. Making your way back inside, you noted that everyone had help clean up while you'd been upstairs and, as they always did, they had left all the food in your fridge. You shook your head. It was an absurd amount of food for four or five people, but then you remembered you usually had two extra mouths to feed at dinner and figured you could knock it out in a few days. 

“Hey, where'd Beth go,” Bradley suddenly asked. 

You sighed. You had been hoping they wouldn't notice that she was gone. They obviously hasn't noticed who else was missing, but you knew you had to tell them the truth. Lying wouldn't do anybody any good. 

“She went to the beach,” you answered honestly, waiting for the next protest.

Jake straightened up, “At night? By herself?”

“Yes, at night, and no, not by herself,” you responded, giving them as little information as you could. 

“Did she have some friends pick her up? Her car is still outside,” Bradley wondered as he looked out into the driveways between your house and theirs. 

Here goes nothing, “No, not with friends. With Bob.”

“Bob who?”

“Floyd?!?!?!”

“Wait, OUR Bob?!?!?!”

Both men were incensed. You rolled your eyes. 

“Guys, she's twenty three, not thirteen and if you really want to know, it was my idea,” you dropped that bomb knowing they would have opinions. 

“Your idea???”

“He's like a thousand years older than her. What were you thinking???”

Now you were getting annoyed, “I was thinking he's a nice guy that will treat her gently and like a queen and won't paw at her every time I turn around, which is more than can be said of some present company. I might add.”

That shut them up, especially Bradley. 

“I am aware that there is a significant age gap and maybe that will end up being a problem, but maybe it won't. That's for them to decide. I dated older guys when I was younger. It can be fun,” you added the last part as an afterthought, but you should have known it's what they would latch onto. 

“How much older?”

“What do you mean, it can be fun?”

This throwing questions at you simultaneously was getting irritating, so you chose to answer Jake, “I went on one date with a 25 year old family friend when I was 16, freaked out halfway through and made him take me home, so I could hide in the bathroom until he left. And I dated a 40 year old when I was 29. He was kind, funny, took me to nice restaurants, brought me flowers, and was great in bed. We just wanted different things at the time. Now judge me all you want, but I don't think either of you have room in your dating history to be too judgemental, especially given what you want me to do. Now, I'm going to go watch a movie. Y'all are welcome to stay, but this discussion is over.”

You moved between them, out of the kitchen, and plopped down in the middle of the u-shaped sectional to find a movie to watch. You settled on Tombstone, a classic.

You thought for a few moments that they were just going to leave, but soon they sat down on either side of you with little to no room left for personal space. Thankfully, they kept their hands to themselves as you had your third drink and drifted off a little over halfway through the movie. 

You weren't sure what time it was, but you felt someone lift you and carry you to your room. You felt yourself melt into your bed and knew you needed to get your clothes off before you really fell asleep, so you popped up and started working your jeans down your legs.

“Hey, now” you heard Jake stutter.

Next you pulled your shirt over your head and pulled your bra off through your shirt and pulled it out of one of your arm holes. You made eye contact with Jake as you finished.  His pupils were blown wide as his gaze ran up and down your body. His hands were clenched at his sides and his whole body was vibrating. He was the picture of barely controlled restraint and you realized you probably should have waited to undress until he left the room, but sleep and alcohol had you thinking a little slower than normal. 

You slipped back under your covers and looked back at Jake, “Thank you for carrying me to bed, Jake.”

He let a deep breath out through his nose and visibly relaxed a little, “You're welcome, darlin. Get some sleep and we'll see you in the morning. Love you.”

“Love you too,” you managed to get out through a yawn. It had been a long day. You drifted off before you even heard the back door lock into a deep sleep filled with dreams of two certain men.

[hcgossips]

The Truth Fans Refuse To Accept

Cavill is a single man. He can hook up with a different chic every now and then. And, as a single celeb, it is expected he dates h**ker’s. Unless he’s an eunuch or gay. But, being a conservative and having Cavill staging a conservative persona, his fandon would obviously be shocked with and wouldn’t accept the idea he could like h**ker’s and be a Mayhem client.

Especially, because most of his fans are delusional thinking one day they could be the one, because he always said he’s looking for someone to marry and start a family. That’s bullshit, by the way!  What’s happening, among other things, is that most of his fandom (the ones expecting to be chosen), is suffering with this feeling of being lied to, betrayed, rejected and replaced by a cheap tramp.

Viscuso, who he falsely made the mother of his fake child, to worsen, has been  promoted as a bad ass bitch and a redneck bully. Of course, it was a PR attempt to face the negative publicity, protecting her from it. But, fans bought it. And that increased the feeling of surprise and unconformity. What Cavill (his team) did to those fans was malicious, vicious and disrespectful. He knew how to be pleased  when he needed a fandom to make him who he is today. I feel sorry for his fandom, who believed he was the avatar created to sell his image.

But, it turns out, he isn’t. Yes, he’s a gent, polite, a prince in manners. But, that’s only a facet of his personality. Henry is not really this prince he portrays nor the marrying type expecting to get married soon. He’s not actually looking for a steady relationship at the moment. He doesn’t want one, now. He’s is leaving that for later, maybe when he’s 60 or more. See George Clooney’s history.

Today, if needy, he can call Mayhem when he feels like getting laid, if not an eunuch or gay. He’s still young to get trapped and his temper doesn’t cope with steady relationships. Gamers, who spend hours in front of a computer on their free time, prefer that, to sex or to spending some time with a human. He is still addicted to games and suggested it in recent interviews, making clear that, on his free time, he’s gaming, not spending with a supposed daughter, with whom he shows no connection with.

That type of guy, has gaming as his priorities, not a companionship. He’s not available to a partner and he doesn’t really miss them, unless when he has the urge. A woman in a life of a gamer, suffers too much, because, even physically present, the guy is never there. He probably has his social moments, but most women probably get him bored and have to play the mothering type most of the time.

To attract a man like that, the person has to be very intelligent and always surprise him, making him live in a loop. Because, he gets esily dull. But, the contrary also happens. Geeks are usually boring and childish to women. And, as a geek putting gaming as a priority, sex with them can be a brief experience and tiresome. Cavill doesn’t seem to have much of experiences on relationships.

He doesn’t seem to know how to please a woman. His idea of a perfect date (according to him on an interview) is a nice dinner in an expensive restaurant followed by a good bottle of wine. That seems more a description of a meeting with his manager. He really thinks a woman would be enthusiastic with that? Well, maybe in a prior century, if poor and hungry.

This idea of men taking women for a nice meal and wine as a differential in a relationship is so old-fashioned and sexist. It reduces women to submissive creatures who depend on a man to offer her dinner in an expensive place as a big deal. And more, it reduces women to creatures who expectations in a relationship are shallow and superficial. Yes, I know. Better having dinner in a nice place with a nice company. And, I know Cavill had a traditional Education.

I’m not saying a polite gent, who pays the bills doesn’t make a difference. It does. It shows he knows his part. It’s so rare to see a man being a man these days. What I’m saying is Cavill seems to have a very sexist point of view about the role men and women have in a relationship, where women are passive, submissive and a coadjuvant, who doesn’t have a life of her own, nor great expectations.

Apparently, he sees woman as this dependent being to whom he, as a celeb, can offer the world and who is pleased with shallow and material stuff. He gives me the impression that he thinks material things, nice Hollywood parties (based on another interview he gave) are what he has in mind to please a woman and what a woman would expect from a relationship with him. Well, maybe the PR wannabes, but not a real girlfriend. He imagines his girlfriend as one of his fans or, most likely, his PR stunts, somebody from an ordinary world, who would be pleased and thrilled with a dinner with the Great Cavill, who would also take her to this awsome Hollywood party.

The impression is he fantasizes about a relationship based on his professional shallow experiences, like meeting with his manager or going on PR dates, but nothing based on real relationships. He apparently, imagines this girlfriend coming from a very  simple, ordinary world, different from Hollywood’s glamour. It is as if he believed their highest expectations are eating in a fancy, expensive restaurant and expecting to go to a Hollywood party with him. Brief, shallow and superficial relationships. That’s definitely, not what women want from him. But, maybe it’s all he has had from them and all he manages to give.

And, his ideal of woman is definitely, not what a real woman would expect from him. That’s a wannabe who is happy and pleased to be in a PR stunt with him. These are not real girlfriends, they are women expecting and pleased with the minimum. But he is definitely, not right when thinking this is the perfect boyfriend. Women expect so much more from a relationship. But, how would he know? His dates are, actually, fake with wannabes selected for a plot and managed by contract, who are pleased with that glamour life he can offer.

That’s not real relationship. But, the interesting is this gives him a fake sense of manly power. This is what makes him feel like a man. This guy has been “dating” too many PRs. It’s more than time he starts dating a real woman in a real relationship, for a change and to know what a real woman expects and wants from a man.

But, maybe that’s the point: He has difficulty commiting and his idea of a relationship is very superficial, shallow, empty, limited and deathless, based on work experiences, not real life. In short: a PR stunt. Cavill still doesn’t know what a real relationship with a woman is.

[animation-is-my-jam]

“I come from a British-Irish heritage and my mother cheers for the New England Patriots. Of course, I'm that white.”

This scene just makes me think of that one scene from Teen Titans Go when Robin refuses to season his boiled potatoes 😭💀

I find it so silly for Tobey to wary of spicy food while being married to a Latina 😭😭🙏

JAJSJSJSNSBSBSJSHGGABSHSJJSJSJSJSNSNSNSNS, yall are killing me with the Tobey slander EVEN THOUGH IM THE ONE WHO WROTE THAT �� (also I know what clip your talking about I'm dead).

A BRI'TISH character dying over seasoning is one of my favorite memes, I'm sorry, but look at Tobey. Do you think he's gonna survive eating like an enchilada?...not even the spicy ass ones on god.

Also, AHHH, a fic reader, omggg hi!! Hehe, see my fellow gamers, I'm funny!!

(Also Idk if you're referring to Tobey in the 20 dollar cheap fic or future au Tobey, since they are not married in the fic's continuity they're just pretending to be engaged currently in the story rn) (but-- NVM NVM NVM)

(and in future AU while Tobey at first would go into a coma if he had to be around some chile de árbol boiling in a pot, he would be more used to it by the time he and Becky get married. Tim has him go through Botsford family cooking boot camp after all. Since Tobey is the one who cooks.)

[thepaperqueendom]

Ghoul HCs - Rain edition.

(I've been having so much Rain on the brain, it's not even funny any more.)

Rain is the only ghoul who truly loves rain (duh) and tends to be in a pissy mood when it's dry and sunny for long stretches of time. Luckily, with the ministry set in Sweden, the weather is usually quite changeable. When Dew and Swiss spend their smoke break under the wide arch of the north entrance to shelter from the downpour, Rain joins them - not because he smokes, but because he'll happily stand a few feet away in the rain and get absolutely soaked (he then leaves puddles on the stone floor and gets in trouble).

Not only is he obsessed with bodies of water, he also brings an insane amount of water bottles everywhere and lets them pile up in weird places. It's an issue on tour that Rain is constantly stressed about dying of thirst (and highly dramatic about it). Sometimes he sees a stranger chugging from a huge-ass water bottle out in public and could cry out of jealousy. [he's me]

Speaking of crying, he's completely helpless around other people's tears (even though they're water). Almost as soon as someone's eyes get wet, Rain will start crying too and needs to be comforted himself.

He constantly cracks his joints. All of them, all the time - and whenever he moves, he cracks involuntarily. The other ghouls don't mind, but Papa gets the ick every time. He's thought about tying Rain up (not in a sexy way, just to make the sounds stop), but Rain can't play bass completely immobilized, can he? Also, the first time Swiss witnessed Rain pulling his own tail to crack his tail vertebrae and sighing in relief, the multi ghoul almost choked laughing.

He absolutely loves vintage clothing, it's one of his favorite human things ever. All ghouls have their distinctive styles and preferences when out of uniform, but Rain usually dresses like a mix between Peaky Blinders and 70s fashion with a few ruffly Victorian shirts thrown in. Think Ryan Ross but cool. Contrary to many people who hc Rain with blueish skin, I imagine him very pale with greyish undertones and grey eyes, so he can pull off wearing any colour, too.

I almost forgot the most important one: Rain is an avid reader. I know gamer Rain is a thing in the fandom, but reader Rain is close to my heart, and actually... why not both? His taste in books is, um, very broad. He prefers fantasy and thrillers, but doesn't mind if they're bad, you know? He's even known to enjoy the occasional cheap paperback with a scantily-clad human woman embracing a highlander type on the cover.

In general, Rain is more of a quiet type around those he doesn't know well and has a very wry kind of humour, but he can be a loud AF drama queen around his pack.

[electronicironic]

quid pro quo my friend you must explain one of your oc groups to me

shriek. you daare squid pro quo ME. you don't even know that I HAVE oc groups actually who am I kidding. beans you over the head with these funny bastards. afterwards its your turn though

HUMAN RESOURCES DISPATCH AGENTS TEAM: Scrap Havoc (not sure if that's the team name or the story name) has a population of five (who only have code names because I haven't gotten around to real names. Team leader is Corleone and she orders around a squadron composed of Redbelly, Crispie, Cinnabar(&Mercury) and Shinjii.

Redbelly, joined the team as a pal of Corleone's and a solid worker is named after piranhas because that's her job. She has holdover magic powers from a system migration that gives her dope ass blood magic that's mostly used to heal real fast but you can also make pointy constructs out of blood and also she has a Special Unique blood dude ability, Devour, that she shares with her favorite shotgun. Devour is basically a blast shaped beam attack that annihilates matter and directly translates destroyed organic matter into more fuel for the Infinite Blood Healing.

Shinjii is Redbelly's fucked up and weird little nephew. He's in Redbelly's house and also business because he's the survivor of a Concerningly Redacted Sci Fi event that saw any family members with more respectable employment Deleted. He's also short enough to mention and kinda babyfaced which makes it odd for him to be doing Sci-Fi Adventure Bullshit, but Shinjii is also a fucked up little savant at the job. He's clever, small and fast and hard to keep track of, deadpan rude in a way that's GREAT for bantz, and best of all almost everyone else in the team can throw him if they need him through a high up window. He also may or may not be an inspecifically prescient were-dragon depending on the previously mentioned magic system migration. Either way it's a bit of an Image to put him (short, subtly and tastefully schemeful and unsettling) next to his auntie (tall, covered in blood, and very gregarious and boisterous.)

Cinnabar is an old friend from when she are Corleone were kids. She was SUPPOSED to be a cool and suave sharply dressed Corporate Agent you know the type of shit you see as bad guys in cheap cyberpunk-the-game stuff. She's great at things like infiltration, espionage, not being as horrifically crass as some of her teammates, and managing the paperwork that Sci Fi Adventure Bullshit probably causes. Her corporate base did get super duper blown up in the middle of corporate war. Cinnabar got not-exploded by breaking the glass on some Super Secret Corporate Bullshit and hitting the road with it and by it I mean Mercury. Mercury is a nanomachine grey goo with all the abilities a secret corporate grey goo project would probably have. It spends most of its time on Cinnabar's shoulder like a really fancy scarf and has all the brainpower of a really stupid smart dog. As a refined, dignified corporate agent she can appreciate fine art, such as Redbelly after a thirty minute street brawl.

Crispie is the team's funny operator robots guy and also the most honest character design here in that he's a guy who Maximizes his Gamer Skills by doing as much computer bullshit as humanely possible simultaneously. As the penultimate manifestation of such l33t g4m3r ski11z, Crispie can split his attention between his actual body and ludicrous amounts of drones and bots and hacker bullshit at any moment, to the point that he considers the entire network as part of his body more than his meat body alone. Despite such freakish computing power, Crispie has to put significant effort into preventing Shinjii and Cinnabar from sniping the shit outta him in most games. This universe is one energy-drink heart attack from the first true strong AI being made by accident by a dweeb who likes FOV drone racing.

You may think to yourself, what secret sauce does Corleone have to be the wise, respected, and even occasionally listened-to leader of this conference of freaks. Well for starters Corleone is a 6 foot something butch lesbian with a CDL and a set of sci-fi turbocarabiners. She also builds and mechanics dope-ass power rigs, the kind of shit that looks like wearing forklifts (and also she works on trucks because truck is still a concept even in the beautiful far future.) Leo also has a natural sense of wisdom, down-to-earth-ness, and capability for rough-housing that really contributes to the chill and love-and-friendshipful environment of this gang of Commits Tremendous Violence For Money And Advancement Opportunities Out Of The Back Of Corleone's Shop.

These guys kind of kick it inspecifically in a sci-fantastika setting that I gnaw on sometimes. Occasionally I lob these guys at funny hypothetical situations, or perhaps interactions with other characters in the setting like "1/4 of Satan" and "Capital A Alchemist who specializes in party drugs."

[pyropsychiccollector]

Natsumi: You think you're sooo great. ≖‿≖***

Chiaki: Not… really? (✿◠‿◠) If anything, I think YOU'RE great, Natsumi-chan~

Natsumi: You're damn right I'm awesome. ≖‿≖* But I don't need an otaku buttering me up. Specially not one who's so damn good at covering her shady side. ≖‿≖*

Chiaki: Mm? But I'm not shady? tilts head cutely

Natsumi: EVERYONE has a dark side. (❋•‿•❋)* You're too perfect, so I'm onto you. You might have everyone else fooled, but I'm always watching. I know what you must be feeling deep down with everyone eating out of your hand. I know my own kind. (❋•‿•❋)*

Chiaki: I'm not really sure what Natsumi-chan is taking about… I don't think I'm perfect at all. But if I'm even half as cool as Natsumi-chan, I consider that a win~ (✿◠‿◠)

Natsumi: ……… (╬≖‿≖) Flattery won't save you. You're going to tell me how the hell you do it.

Chiaki: … Do what now?

Natsumi: I don't have to spell it out. You KNOW. (╬≖‿≖)

Chiaki: I really don't. :O

Natsumi: at the gamer's stubbornness Hajime. (╬ಠ益ಠ)

Chiaki: Is something wrong with Hajime? Σ('◉⌓◉’)

Natsumi: (╬ಠ益ಠ) I'm gonna shove this foot up your ass till you need Pepto to take a shit. Tell me how the hell you wrap him around your finger. (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)

Chiaki: Um… I'm not sure what you mean… Hajime's not wrapped around anything??

Natsumi: impatient growl (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ) Let's go with a little simulation exercise. How the hell do you go about asking him out on a Saturday night?

Chiaki: … A-Asking him out? O… Oh… ಠಿ_ಠ

~*~

Chiaki: Hey, Hajime~ game title just got an expansion pass, did you want to play it together with me? (✿◠‿◠)

Hajime: H-Huh? Oh, um… Yeah, sure. I won't be any good, though. You've seen how badly I play those games.

Chiaki: That's okay~ Playing together with you is plenty fun all on its own! You're like a platinum trophy achievement. (✿◠‿◠)

Hajime: … Okay…? (✿◠‿◠);;; So, uh, the usual bench?

Chiaki: Mmhm! (✿◠‿◠)

~*~

Natsumi: … That's it? (╬ಠ益ಠ) That's not a date, you're just hanging out!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)

Chiaki: @//////////@* W-Well, a formal date at a restaurant seems a little above my skill level. I…suck at dating sims. If we're feeling fancy we go to the arcade.

Natsumi: … (╬ಠ益ಠ)

Chiaki: … Wh-What about you, Natsumi-chan? You asked because you struggle with hanging out with Hajime, right? :O

Natsumi: That's none of your fucking b-

~*~

Natsumi: Yo, dumbass! Got any plans Saturday night?

Hajime: Well-

Natsumi: You, me, restaurant name. 7. You stand me up, you're gonna be swimming in the Pacific with an anchor tied around your neck. No excuses. Don't be late.

Hajime: Wha…?

Natsumi: And try and dress fancy. These school uniforms are cheap as fuck.

Hajime: ……… the HPA uniform is probably the best suit he has right now, and he doesn't exactly have the cash for new threads

~*~

Chiaki: (人◕_◕)

Natsumi: How was I supposed to know he was broke?! (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)

[liffy-feelin-jiffy]

S5 Headcanons Part 2!

Also SkullAmiGorai mention hehehoohoo

Mask

Real name is Jacklyn, but they typically go by Jack

Got the ‘tism, and most definitely has ADHD

Half sharkling. Bro doesn’t have a tail, but he’s got some fins peaking out behind his back and some razor sharp teeth. Munch munch munch. Their eyes are also a little weird looking too

Shady is his cousin btw. They keep in touch sometimes but they’re not that close

Omnigender, uses he/they/bro pronouns. They started using “bro” as a neopronoun for shits and giggles at one point until it kinda just became an actual neopronoun for him because they like it

Also Omnisexual and panromantic. Why is everyone so attractive??? Despite that, he’s still somewhere on the ace spectrum. Bro has more of a “look but don’t touch” philosophy—until their first time hits and they become a little more casual about it

Tall. Scrawny as hell. Eat a sandwich, bloke

Makes the most lewd jokes out of the group. Bro even grosses Aloha out sometimes-

Mask: “I need her to bend me over the stove and spank me with a spatula-“

Aloha: “WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO????”

Very congested voice. That’s hay fever. He gets it from his father, who got it from his father, and so on

“Nice argument, unfortunately I am at your front door with a blunt object” — debating online about which character should be invited into smash bros

I know his bitch ass kins that motherfucker Sal from Sally Face

He also had to have kinned Soul from Soul Eater once

Favorite video game would have to be portal 2. He’d like the plot, the story, and bro would love Glad0s to pieces 10/10 villain, she’s a mood. They also like RPGs, plenty of which he’s download off of an itch.io knockoff

This fool STANKS. Like, bro smells like cheap cologne and 50 day old stale pizza. Take a bath

The rest of the S5 and Mask’s family have definitely tried to give him a bath before. They failed 😞 /j

Just kidding, Mask showers once for two whole days. Sometimes they’ll go for three days

Has multiple socials. Bro doesn’t post much other than some random funny videos they catch of the boys doing stupid shit and cackling at them when they get hurt in the most ridiculous ways

Is actually depressed. Bro was acting like an edgy teen back when they were 14, but as they got older they did actually start developing depression. Bro isn’t suicidal or anything, or at least they don’t actively seek to harm themselves, but bro has this kind of… Depressive symptom where they would just have a lack of care for if they like got killed all of a sudden, even almost hoping it would happen. Instead of being all mopey and sad and crying themselves to sleep at night, Mask is really just in a numb state. They just don’t care about anything. They still pull through because of all their family and friends, and bro knows that leaving those people in his life wouldn’t do any good.

Bro gained his depression from his mom suddenly passing away when he was 18. She died in a horrible car crash. They were even the first to find out because he accidentally stumbled across the scene. It wasn’t too far from where they lived. Thankfully, Mask is seeing a therapist, but he’s having trouble opening up still.

Acts like a cat. Loves to cuddle, really lazy with their movements and mannerisms, and love bites. Nibbles on your hand like a creature

Plays the chello. At first he started playing because he thought that the low pitch of the chords were edgy, lmao, but then the sound of it felt soothing and it ended up growing on him. Bro plays it whenever he’s stressed out over something or if he just needs a moment to clear his mind. It helps them think better, too. He’ll play for you if he feels like it or if you ask nicely, but he’s usually shy about it.

Crusty gamer, but they have a quite an attractive face hiding underneath. Aloha dramatically passed out when he saw Mask’s true face, like, got damn didn’t know you were so pretty

Mask doesn’t really like to take his mask off in general. At first it was so bro could look scary and intimidating when bro was younger (and because of hay fever of course), but now it’s because they value their privacy—and hay fever still. Plus, they find comfort in their anonymity. They typically keep it off when they’re at home or at a trusted friends house

Aloha’s octoling roommate, Lilith, creeped the shit of him when they first met, even though they were kinda similar in how they acted. Bro was just really off put by her gigantic size and build, and the fact that she was missing an eye and had previously been part of the Octarian army—as an army captain no less—oooh bro had the heebie jeebies! They actually ended up becoming friends after they just trauma dumped to each other one night during one of Aloha’s parties. There were tears and ugly sobs involved. Now? Don’t tell anyone, but Mask thinks she’s fine as hell (they like their women buff).

Seriously though, now Mask is practically head over heels for that woman. It’s odd because he was never the romantic type despite having some sort of interest in a lot of people, yet never really having an interest to chase for a relationship until she came along and they got used to each other… Further more so, she was someone who calmed him out of a panic attack. It’s why he never wants to admit it, because not only does he get all defensive when people bring it up due to being afraid of her finding out and potentially beating his ass over it—exaggeratingly, or just having to face the reality that she simply may not be interested in them, but bro also half believes that what he’s feeling is just a simple little crush. Besides, that “hochi mama” is a little too out of his league… or so he thinks.

Hangs out with Bobble, even though her smile used to erk him to the end of the world. He also likes hanging out with Goggles, too. The both of them treat Mask nicely and bought him a game that he really wanted for their birthday, so now Mask feels like he’s indebted to them (that’s what he says, but bro just likes hanging out with them)

They were real chill when Army came out as an inktoling—bro also came out as a sharkling at the time, too, kinda to ease the tension and be like “ain’t nothing special bro look at me.” He was also the first to find out about Army having a crush on Goggles and he tried to hook ‘em up on a few dates just for shits and giggles, and sort of to see what would happen. Bro did feel happy when they got together, feeling proud of themselves, but then they got flabbergasted when the two of them also got with Rider and Skull— “Wait, did I miss a few chapters? What the hell”

Skull

His real name is Sloan

Walking embodiment of autism. Adhd is hiding in him somewhere, too

Also gay. Unlike Rider, he’s more open about it—or chill at least

He’s a kraken squid, one of the strongest and biggest species in the inkling and octoling genuses. Being a kraken squid not only gives him more animalistic traits in the way he acts, like being territorial and prone to snapping his teeth and growling, but he also has bones. Krakens are one of the only ones, besides leviathans and some sharklings, to have bones in the cephalopod class

That being said, he’s broken an arm at one point. He mentions it every so often like it was a fever dream and people look at him alarmingly because the way he broke his arm sounds absolutely agonizing

Besides the E-liter, he also likes using the krak on splat roller every so often. They see me rolliiiiin

Likes to wear goth punk style, either that or more casual punk rock. He’s not the kind of person to overdue himself: just give him a band tea, some torn pants and some skull pant chains and he’s good to go

Gives the most bombastic side eye

He says he tone deaf when he sings, but he can actually sing pretty good. It’s really soothing, though it can also be rough depending on which style he’s in the mood for. He’s just really shy about his singing and uses it as an excuse not to sing. You gotta bully him into doing it (don’t do that tho, not nice) He can also rap pretty good, too. And he’s really good with the bass guitar and regular guitar

Has really beautiful tanned skin, because he stands out in the sun all day holding his e-liter in matches and he’s Scalican and knows Coralish (Splatoon pun of Mexican and Spanish) he’s got a bunch of tan lines, too

But what if he had a southern accent? 👀 (I WANNA BE A COWBOY BABYYYY)

He’s been wearing his skull bandana for the longest to hide his sharp ass teeth to try to avoid people from getting spooked of him. Well, the skull on his bandana didn’t really help all that much, but he actually kinda liked the style because he felt intimidating for another reason other his real teeth.

He’s naturally strong as hell and tall as a skyscraper because he’s a kraken squid, and he’s been like that since he turned 14. It’s because of that lots of people are always intimidated by him, even when he tries to prove he’s docile (Kind of a discrimination thing he’s gotta deal with everyday 😞). But deep down he’s a gentle giant. Really trustworthy man, too. He also has sharp claws; they’re very pretty

Got into a few fist fights, some double sided and… one sided, between him and some drink tampering shmucks Aloha would catch at his parties or at his parents’ bar. He’s never started a fight, but he has sure as hell finished them all

He’s kinda insecure about handling kids and hatchlings. He loves them to death, but because of his giant, intimidating feature, he knows he’d be prone to accidentally freaking younglings out. It also has to do with the fact that his hatchling cousin started crying really hard the millisecond Skull tried to hold them in his arms one time back when he was like 12; He still hasn’t gotten over it. It’s kinda ironic though, because despite his intimidating form, lots of younglings and hatchlings actually really like him right off the bat. It’s probably because he’s actually really patient and good with kids in general. He’d play with them, keep them out of trouble, and just knows what they’d need on a whim. He’s your go-to babysitter kind of guy

His favorite pastries are cannolis and paninis, his favorite cakes are cheesecakes, and his favorite candy would be all three flavors of chocolate. He had a crisis when he had to choose one team during the chocolate splatfest

Really territorial about his food. He growls if you get near him while he’s eating food, especially sweets. Not only that, but he’s even worse when he’s with a significant other. He’ll straight up snarl at you if he feels like you’re bothering them. He’d even snap his teeth like a dog at you. Leave him alone to cuddle with his boyfriens >:(

He does also growl and snarl when he senses danger, if he’s pissed off, or if he just wants to be left alone in general. He’s got a low, deep growl that can pierce your soul. It’s some freaky shit. It makes for a good warning to not cross him, cuz he will fuck you up bad.

He also purrs a lot, and LOUDLY. He loves to purr, it’s his own way of showing affection. He also likes to nibble, whether it be on your hands, neck, ear, anywhere. He’ll also play bite and it‘s so ticklish. He’s like a doggy 💜💜💜

He had a crush on Mask once, back when they played in Inkopolis Plaza, but it was mostly because bro was so affectionate with him. Mask was actually his gay awakening before he decided that he liked imagining Mask as more of a friend. Mask also made for a great wingman, anyways.

Skull fell for Goggles the same reason he fell for Mask, because he was so nice and affectionate with him—even though he flashed him to the public in the square (you had to be there). He was also intrigued by him because he admired how Goggles faced him so determinedly, even after Goggles lost against him. He was the first person who wasn’t afraid of Skull right off the bat, and that really did confuse him for a really long time

There’s also Rider; He got the feels for Rider after he faced up against Emperor, admiring Rider for his fierce determination as well as his rather noble leadership to his team, which put Skull and the rest of the S4’s abilities to shame after their embarrassing defeat… It was when he realized that did he finally begin to realize he had a type—and that he was poly. You could also say their pep talk they had before Rider faced Emperor’s team had played a part in it. They also got closer during the ranked battle championship arc.

As for Army, well, he and Army bonded when he found out Army was an inktoling. Skull kinda related to him, as he was also seen as different from other inklings in society because of his large and intimidating structure—though Army didn’t really have to face that, but he was shamed for who he was by his grandad so that was something he and Skull had somewhat in common. He was also there to comfort Army when he was going through it with his grandad getting arrested and everything. He even offered him a place to stay if he needed, even when Army assured that Goggles’ parents were happy to have him around. He’s also really grateful for the fact that Army always makes sure to be his reminder for a bunch of things and also keeps him from getting lost, and his curry is YUM YUM YUM (proof that good food makes even the bad bitches fold)

He and Aloha’s friend, Lilith started out a bit rocky, but then they grew to have a mutual trust in each other. They also ended up becoming friends after Lilith heard him singing and started singing along (they’re both shy about singing)

Weekly ink rifle meet up with Headphones and Half Rim. Eventually they started inviting N-Pacer! It’s just when they spend the day doing friend stuff, cuz theyre friends now :)

Rider

Real name is Roe

Is BRI’ISH. Heavy British accent boi; “oi my names Rida’ ”

Dude is so tone deaf. But he can keep a beat pretty well. He’s tried to play the drums at one point, but he hasn’t played in a while. He has to have his drum set hiding in his house somewhere

Socially detached. He was taken advantage by other kids a lot when he was younger, and those memories never left him. He’s also had a few issues growing up, too, especially without his dad.

His father left him and his mom before he and his siblings were even born. He doesn’t even have a good idea as to what he looks like since his mom took down every photo in the house that he was in since he left them. His mom refuses to ever mention him, and if Rider ever does she’s quick to change the subject. All he knows is that he inherited his father’s voice, and he and Platinum inherited his nose and lips. Rider never knew why he left. But truth be told, he doesn’t care no more, he’s got so many more people to worry about nowadays

Coming back to edit this part: He has a twin sister and a twin brother btw. He’s one of three triplets. His sister’s real name’s Rinet (it’s Renet but it’s just spelled differently) and his twin brother’s name is Ryan. Rinet’s nickname is Platinum while Ryan is Rockin’. Platinum wears the white inky rider and she mains the golden aerospray, while Cooler wears the Rockin’ leather jacket and mains the Golden Enperry Dualies. Rinet’s kinda an asshole but she’s a pretty fun friend to have around. Ryan is more laid back and a “go with the flow” kinda guy, but literally he doesn’t care about a lot of stuff. Rider and them all used to be on the same team until he got sick of Rinet’s shit because he thought she was such a snooty player and decided to go his own way while Rinet left with Ryan. Eventually, Rider found his own team that he has now. Every so often, if one of his teammates get sick or unavailable, Platinum will automatically fills in for them, and if not her, then it’ll be Rockin’ .

Platinum doesn’t play turf war or ranked battles that much. She’s mostly seen doing Grizzco shifts to try to help her and Rider’s mom pay the bills and get their mom closer to retirement; it’s also to save up money for college. Rockin’ and Rider wish she would quit someday, as they don’t trust Grizzco industries and their “policies” and work environment. Rider doesn’t admit it, but he worries about her a whole lot. Rockin’ does his best to keep an eye on her, mostly by tagging along with her in salmon runs as joint workers.

He’s pretty skilled with the E-Liter. He likes to stick with the no-scope; inspired by Headphones, in purpose of keeping an eye on his team.

He and Wireglasses weren’t related. They did grow up in the same neighborhood as kids, before Wireglasses moved to Splatsville with his parents. It made Rider kinda sad because they were actually good friends, one of the only real friends he ever really had before blue team. When they met again after he went to Splatsville, they gave each other a big ol hug.

His ass does NOT like Emperor. Emperor doesn’t like him either, except it’s more that he just doesn’t vibe with him, meanwhile Rider just LOATHES him to pieces. Certified hater. If they’re both in the same room, Rider will go out of his way to stand in the opposite side of the room just to be as far away from “that fancy ass whiteboy” as possible. It’s so ridiculously funny and more so when you remember that all of team blue are good friends with Emperor so it really ruffles Rider’s feathers. Emperor honestly doesn’t know why he’s like this, but only Rider remembers him from their elementary days…

He has nothing against Prince, tho. If the S4 say he’s cool, then he’s cool.

He actually somewhat cares for Prince just a little bit after hearing how Emperor used to tease him a lot as a kid so he just uses that as another reason not to like the pompous bastard.

His mom is… She’s not perfect, to say the least. Who is, though? I mean, Sheena really did struggle to cope when he boyfriend abandoned her when she fell pregnant, with triplets no less. She absolutely refuses to drown her sorrows in alcohol and drugs, I implore her for that, but she was still incredibly depressed even when her kids came into the world. She was slightly neglectful during their first few years, and her parents didn’t bother to help her with them because she left them to be with her boyfriend, but they didn’t bother regaining contact even when she was struggling. Sheena got better eventually, especially after she started gaining more friends in the neighborhood who helped co-parent. Eventually she was able to get back on her feet and become the kind of parent she wanted to be for her three kids. Since then, she became a lot more energetic and bombastic, she had that cool aunt personality while juggling around two kids at the same time. She loves her babies to death, and she thinks it’s funny to kind of embarrass them in public all the time by giving them kisses all over their faces and head and giving them right hugs. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but Platinum, Rockin’ and Rider know that life would be a lot more duller without their mother around. 💚🤍🖤 (not me indulging in motorcycle mama 😭)

His mom’s part of a biker gang, and she has the nickname Rose because she wears a pink leather jacket that she got custom made. She’s got a sweet, red Road-King in the garage. She keeps saying that she’s gonna get Rider a black Road King someday when he’s old enough. Rider honestly doubts it, but don’t underestimate his mother’s determination to keep her word.

He’s honestly in no rush, really. In fact he’s afraid of getting back on the motorcycles again. He used to ride around on the back of his mom’s motorcycle and be part of “the gang,” but he take on a hiatus after a car accident that had him fist bumping death’s hand before he ended up in the hospital for almost a week with a scar that’s never gonna leave. He hasn’t road with her since, but even he admits that he wants to get back on it someday.

He’s pretty smart with cars and with motorcycles, too. He learned it all from his mom. Why go to the car repair center when you can take it over to his house to get it checked on? Charges a fair price, too. Rockin’ and Platinum like to help out too, but they’re much more experienced in motorcycles since they both own one and take of their own.

His right eye is partially blind from where he got sanitized. He would’ve felt more insecure about it if it weren’t for his boyfriends assuring him that he’s such a handsome boy every single day since they each of them got together.

Yes, he is built like a brick house. He swings a large mass of metal around like a wiffle bat everyday out in the battlefield. What else did you expect?

He’s so easy to scare, it’s hilarious. You can come up from behind him and go “BOO!” And he’ll jump a little and just glare at you. But if he gets really scared, like if he’s in one of those haunted house attractions, hell literally shoot six feet in the air or he’ll start screaming and slowly start falling to the ground in slow motion. It’s even funnier because he’ll grab the nearest person he’s with and they’re both gonna eat shit together by falling or he’s gonna throw them over his shoulder and bull a skiddadle. No man left behind 🫡. Either that, or he’s just gonna run away so fast without saying anything; there was also this time he was playing basketball by himself in the evening and the lights suddenly went off and he SPED AWAY so fast you could hear the fear in his shoes when they squeaked. (That last part is based off a funny video I saw of a man running away when the streetlights went of). His ass does not like horror games, either

He has multiple pair of boots, and leather jackets.

He would absolutely wear the dreadlock hairstyle in Splatoon 3, he HAS too

He was very shocked to find out Army was an inktoling, but he had his full support. But NOTHING could prepare him for when he finally met Goggles’ parents and learned that theyre octolings too. He likes them a whole lot, they’re very nice to him and they became friends with his mom when they all met each other at one of Goggle and Rider’s meet-your-parents dinner date

Hey so uh sorry for those who come back every so often and find out the headcanons have changed. I should probably just make part 3’s and 4’s but I don’t feel like it.

And don’t look at me like that for also jumping on the oc x canon ship bandwagon with Mask. I just thought that they and Lilith would be silly sapphics together.

< Here’s the first part with Aloha and Army

[zig-the-drummer]

STUFF FOR A CHARACTER NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT : SOME HEAD-CANONS FOR MY GOOBER.

ziggy can’t sleep without a nightlight on. he probably has one that’s dinosaur shaped or some shit … one of the cheap types that runs off double A’s for at least twenty minutes before fucking exploding. maybe its shaped like a little drum or whatever.

he has a thing for sci-fi horror movies. the guy will sit and binge shit like cloverfield or the alien franchise for hours upon hours without moving an inch. his bandmates would have to pry him off the couch in order to get his ass moving. too far gone in the autism blunt rotation.

definitely owns a glittery diary with a gel pen to write with. do i need to explain this? he’s a faggot. he starts off with ‘dear dairy’ and starts freestyling.

he doesn’t know how to use an oven. that man lives off of canned tuna and cinnamon crackers. the occasional chicken bone would suffice. he fucking gnaws on that shit. the times where he does use an oven, he most likely gives his friends salmonella by putting meat in for fifteen or so seconds. he doesn’t know how to change it from seconds to minutes.

either has a great fashion sense or an absolutely horrendous one. ziggy would have the zestiest stage outfits, then change into an eyestrain ‘how to spot a gamer’ shirt that’d give an orphan from the victorian era an aneurysm. on that note, maybe he’d have a comically large ps4 controller as a nightlight instead.

he uses the most outrageous shampoos. three-in-one dorito scented conditioner, spongebob shampoo, minecraft creeper body wash, ect. you name it, he’s got it. he gets really defensive over them and writes his name on all the bottles, oblivious to the fact that it’ll get washed away each time he takes a shower.

(and yeah, that’s it. this blog usually gets a couple likes or so per post, but i like to screw around. so you know. have this thing.)

[angelicguy]

You know the guy who runs cheap ass gamer has a whole fukkin mansion.