#Countronica
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lavender-annd-lilac · 3 years ago
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Aha this kind of got away from me so it’s kind of long oops (like, long even for me 😬 yikes) good thing I learned how to put in cuts !!✂️
Let’s just shove this all under the rug haha
“Nothing smells quite like your food.”
This is the kind of strategic non-compliment compliment I would use when forced to give feedback* on something I didn’t enjoy tbh.
Along with stuff like
“u guys had such amazing energy during that performance”
“the colours really pop! It’s a bold look for a confident person”
Rating: 2 snakes in the grass 🐍🐍
*(ONLY when forced to make a comment tho, bc I may be a disingenuous snake, but I’m not a petty one… usually)
Game recognizes game😒. This snake has eyes on u Cole 👀🐍
“Quit buttering me up.  I’m not a biscuit.
Me, forgetting that biscuits are like scones in the South: whoa, ok Paula Deen… I don’t usually butter my Oreos but u do u 🤷‍♀️
he jogs over to the stairs, taking two at a time
Ok I take back what I said before about not being petty bc this shit annoys me lol. Like unless someone is actually booking it, this is so unnecessary 😒 what are u going to do with that extra 5–10 seconds of ur life? Watch an ad on YouTube instead of skipping it? PLS
(I might also hate exercise and am envious of ppl that just voluntarily, of their own free will, choose to exert themselves lol)
Forgoing knocking as he enters
Wow this guy would be a great parent he’s already got the barging in part down pat!!
“This dress is pretty.  Easy access.”
Chris Hansen: why don’t you have a seat
Is To Catch a Predator still a thing?
It’s just odd that you would wear this out, without letting me…you know no matter how I phrase this is gonna make me sound like the bad guy, so I’m stopping.  You look beautiful
How to say what u want w/o actually saying it. and therefore not coming across as the “bad guy” while still being the “bad guy”
Rating: 4 snakes in the grass 🐍🐍🐍🐍
additional analysis: I’d say this is a medium risk, medium reward tactic. Can be hard to pull off if the target tends to over analyze.
I can get a bit jealous that people will be looking at what’s mine, right?”
So like, u cover up your car with a tarp when parked in public? And u put a big ass tent over your home too? Wouldn’t want ppl to look at ur “property” right and make u jealous right? 🙄
“And when I start running for sheriff, you won’t be able to go to Woody’s.”
I don’t understand what this means lmao. Woody’s is a bar/club that she’s going to? And she can’t go when he runs for sheriff bc…. his campaign platform is based on…. prohibition?
Alexa play,
to watch you desperately search for some relief
Girl, just take a couple
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*this post is not sponsored by Big Pharma
his fingers roam through your folds
My brain for no reason: haha like that song
Me: ?????
My brain: the buffalo song
Me: ¿¿¿¿??!!
My brain: Alexa, play
literally 35 minutes later, after creating a harmonica/country themed playlist on Spotify (ft. Tom Petty, Bob Dylan and Neil Young)…
Me: this is why we never get shit done 😑
Your body rocking over him
Me: adds wagon wheel to the harmonica/country playlist
He had been doing you a favor.  He took out his frustrations on other women, so he got to worship you
This insane PR spinning rn… goddamnit he’s going to be elected as sheriff isn’t he lol
Rating: 5 snakes in the grass 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
 A blissful state of pleasure.
Me: adds Taylor Swift “State of Grace” to the playlist
“No.  No, stop!” He makes it only an inch before you were scrambling off of him.  
I’ve been watching like 4+ hours of soccer every day bc it’s WC season baybeeee and this just reminds me of when the flags go up, u hear the TWEEEET TWEEEEET and the commentators are immediately like OFFSIDE!!! OFFSIDE!! And then they freeze frame and draw a line on the screen showing like the toe of someone’s boot juuust a fraction over lmao 🤣
“My body was aroused.  It doesn’t think.  I do!
Me, about to launch into a 5k word essay about the mind/body dilemma and dualism/monism before remembering why only a handful of ppl choose to major in philosophy and how it’s not competitive at all to get into grad school: ….🤐
Refusing to let any tears fall
Me: adds teardrops on my guitar by tswift to playlist
“What’s just sex to you, is more than that to me.  And even if it wasn’t, I said no sex before marriage.  You were trying…you took…”
Ok well this seems like as good a time as any to insert my uncalled for opinion on this topic. 😅
Just upfront tho, my stance is like, don’t fucking agree to the respect the other persons boundary if
u don’t think u can follow through
U have no intention of following through and u think u will be able to convince them to change their minds
It’s like the thing where ppl say u should be in the same page about kids before u marry or w/e (RIP John Cena and Nikki Bella 😭). Don’t just agree so y’all can get hitched and then try to convince ur partner otherwise lol, bc that’s like a 10 snakes in the grass rating 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍.
So in this situation obvi Cole is in the wrong.
But this is my opinion on sex/no sex before marriage in general,
Honestly I get kind of personal so ⚠️skip this whole thing if u want it’s like not even related to the fic lol. I’ll put 3 apple emojis when it’s safe to read again.
First of all, I don’t even know why I’m giving my opinion bc
1.) I’m not into “marriage” as like, a legal status…go ahead and have a commitment ceremony and make whatever promises u want to each other and have a nice celebration, but I don’t think the “legality” of a marriage adds anything to the relationship.
On some level I understand it comes w certain tax benefits and whatever but yeah… if u think about the most important relationships in ur life, I feel like most of them don’t need to be legalized?
Like maybe the person who raised u isn’t ur bio parent or ur adopted parent but u still view them as such. And ur BFF? The Sam to ur Frodo? That that shit doesn’t need to be registered at city hall either
2.) most forms of physical touch repulse me so I’m not into sex either (in that I would not like to engage in that activity, but I think it’s super interesting to read about. Like how u can be a pacifist irl but super enjoy violent movies)
So I’m giving my opinion on 2 things I actively dislike and will never participate in lmao but hey, it’s the internet and I’m allowed to scream into the void 😤😤😤
I’m firmly in the “sex is whatever” camp in terms of attaching any kind of spiritual or emotional meaning to it. Obvi it can be a spiritual/emotional experience, but I don’t think those feelings are built into the act itself… it’s like meaning ppl attach on to it.
Like how lighting candles isn’t intrinsically ritualistic, but it can be if someone imbues the act with a certain intention.
So, tbh I don’t really understand the “no sex before marriage” thing, especially when it comes from an underlying religious belief Mormonism. (Not saying it’s invalid, just that I don’t understand it and also think it’s a lil weird bc if u are indoctrinated raised to be a certain religion from birth, ur never really offered an alternative belief system??)
But ya, ppl have their own way of doing things and I dig that. I just want to say tho, if it’s not based in religion, and just something ppl choose for themselves for whatever reason. It seems… unwise?
I get it if u just don’t want to have sex AT ALL. If u don’t like it, it’s ur right to set that boundary. But if u do plan on regularly having sex after marriage, it becomes kind of a mystery to me why u would wait…???
idk….from what I’ve seen happen w/ other ppl, sexual compatibility seems like a big part of overall relationship compatibility? Like y’all could have the same values, political views, film preferences etc. but if one partner has a high sex drive and the other person is closer to the asexual end of the spectrum… it ain’t gonna work unless u develop some kind of compromise.
Same with living together pre-marriage. Again, u could be intellectually and emotionally compatible, but if one person is like Marie Kondo and the other is like Smaug with his gold…. 😬
So I feel like if u really wanted to do a compatibility check u should try all that stuff? Unless y’all are both ok with like a big build up, a big blow up, and a big divorce?
The only thing I can kind of get is like if u wanted to test the other person’s self control for whatever reason - like u wanted them to prove their loyalty to u by abstaining.
I kind of understand bc I guess it comforting to know that ur partner values ur relationship for more than sex, but I feel like there are other ways to test loyalty/self control without impacting what is a big part of the relationship for many ppl?
Idk like, make them go without beer or coffee or college football for x amount of time. It might seem arbitrary, like “babe, why does my hobby of speed running super Mario levels have to do with our relationship?” But maybe u each choose a thing that the other abstains from to prove to that u are each other’s #1?
I’m bamboozled but what else is new hahah 😂😂
🍏🍎🍏
 I got carried away, and I’m sorry.  You just looked so pretty, and you were enjoying yourself, and I wasn’t thinking.  All the blood had run to my dick because I just love you so much,
It’s the hypocrisy for me fam 👌
Bc at first he’s all “oh but ur body wanted it!!”
And she’s like, my body’s reactions are not necessarily indicative of my mental state! Correlation does not equal causation, bitch!
And he’s like pfffffft whatever
But then when HE gets put on the hot spot, he trots out the same goddamn argument like “ya my brain totally respects ur boundaries, my dick just got over excited! It wasn’t me, it was just my body’s reaction bc ily😇 “
Tbh… It’s actually kind of sad when characters with such good villain potential insist on playing the good guy role. (Not me acting like they control their own narrative lol)
Like sir, u could be the most scheming Machiavellian sheriff since idk, the evil sherif character in Robin Hood (who was honestly more of a henchman than anything), but instead u waste ur time trying to be some kind of Hallmark movie love interest. 😒Pls, just stay in ur lane and embrace the darkness.
Cole stands transfixed towards your wall, before he punches it quickly.
This is what I mean, instead of punching this inanimate wall, u could be laughing maniacally, punching some innocent restaurant owner that refuses to pay his monthly extortion “protection fee”.
That would be so much more interesting for everyone. Except the restaurant owner, but don’t worry, he’s recruited by the FBI and ends up wearing a wire to get some incriminating audio. Heck he’ll probably become the next mayor idk. People will vote for the guy that stomped out police corruption in the small town of [this town’s name]
you would have never left your bed looking like someone had sat on it
Meanwhile, my bed looks like a garage sale table piled with clothes, books, pillows, and various other objects 😬😬😬(my weighted blanket is not heavy enough so I need to stack this shit up to feel the calming pressure around me when I sleep. And yeah I could have probably got several weight led blankets but u know what? Hindsight is 20/20 or whatever they say)
His hand rubs over the indented wall, and he looks at his wife shaking his head
Gramps, Cole didn’t mean to do that. His body was the one that wanted to punch the wall, not his brain!! 🙄🙄🙄
Just do the texting,
Ok, even tho he said “the texting”, I guess these are some tech savvy seniors wow.
before you become the future sheriff’s housewife
Is no one else running??? Or is the other guy like, some Ted Cruz black hole of charisma??
Poppy throws herself into the booth, panting as she takes a drink of her cocktail
Ok so this is the “Woody’s” established which will be off limits when if she marries Cole? I still don’t get it 😫😫😫Do they check your marriage lisence before u go in to ensure it’s singles only inside or what
The married sheriff getting his dick wet out by the pitiful local club
Hey, I mean…. She doesn’t know what we know so that could be his wife in there. Maybe they are into exhibitionism or something lol 😂
and waits for the little whore to get out of the car.
Wait, I thought Cole was pretty tall ??
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Also, idk if this is an unpopular/problematic opinion but I always feel like the person in the relationship is more in the wrong.
Actual piece of trash Coleslaw over here is the one who is supposed to be faithful - he’s the one that is breaking a promise.
This girl owes no loyalty to reader tbh (I mean, we can talk about sisterhood/basic human decency and stuff, but like in reality, I see her as a free agent)
So yeah, trash move to go after a guy that’s already in a relationship, but it takes two to tango right?
Idk… if I had a partner that cheated on me I wouldn’t be mad at the third party lol bc like, my former partner is the one that betrayed my trust, not some rando🤷‍♀️
Also why is he here? Does he not know this is the club his fiancée went to? The heck kind of shitty future sheriff is he? Like, I can excuse fictional police corruption, but I cannot excuse fictional police incompetence. (irl I can excuse neither and I’m actually allergic to pork so stay the heck away from me cops🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️) If u are a villain, u gotta being ur A game buddy.
“I don’t pick up prostitutes.”
So is prostitution legal here? Like, if that’s what he thinks she is… is he not going to be like hey ur arrested for soliciting or whatever?
(In Canada it’s actually like this… prostitution itself is not illegal, but purchasing services from a sex worker is lol. It’s this dumb “compromise” they made so the government can say “we are progressive! we aren’t making sex work illegal!” And at the same time it might as well be illegal if Johns can’t legally hire anyone😓)
“Where are you going?”
Ok ya. This dude would not be able to solve a crime if it happened right in front of his face tbh.
 You fucking more than that whore, who knows your fucking engaged?  What a twat, but you are the one in the damn relationship.
Ok wait so maybe my opinion is not unpopular??? Poppy laying down the truth here. PREACH🙌
I shouldn’t have done it.  It was wrong, but I don’t cheat on her.  I just…I was weak, and…”
Dude… say it, say the thing…. IT WAS JUST MY BODY THAT CHEATED!!! MY MIND DIDN’T 😂😂😂
“I would think that Poppy was getting a ticket
A ticket for what tho??? Unless u can get tickets for non-traffic related violations?
Not to humblebrag, but I have actually been arrested twice for petty stuff - not petty like, unimportant issues (greenpeace let’s goooo) but petty like, in terms of the classification of the “crime” haha. Anyway both times I didn’t get a ticket I got a warrant to appear in court.
Hope that you wouldn’t let his manipulation not get to you.
omg double negatives always trip me up I need help😓 like, do they cancel each other out like fractions or???
Ok “not get to you ” = u remain unaffected ?
this means she hopes that reader… doesn’t let his… lmao the struggle rn 😖😖😖
She hopes reader does not remain unaffected by his manipulation?? So… she hopes reader is affected… as in it affects reader enough to make her break off the engagement? 🥺
If you chose to stay with him, she couldn’t support the marriage.  You deserved so much more than this idiot was offering you.
Yo, I’m actually conflicted here 😕 like, how do u differentiate brown “supporting the marriage” and “supporting the person”???
I guess…u say u disagree with their decision but u will be there for them to talk or whatever???
But hypothetically, let’s say reader decides to try and make it work, like they get married and go to therapy - the works.
If Poppy doesn’t support the marriage would she be in favour of the therapy or…?
Bc on one hand, if u don’t want to support the marriage u would be like, “honey this isn’t going to work no amount of couch time will fix it but u do u I guess”
But if she wanted to support reader shouldn’t she be like, “good on u for trying??? I’m cheering for y’all to make it work??”
(Lol @ me not knowing what “being supportive” entails. 😭)
The only difference was it was the woman that was cheating, and on a good man
Oooooooh is she getting a little Ashlee Simpson autobiographical here? Did something happen in her family? 😯
Poppy could find ten men that were worth more than Cole in this one horse town,
Dang, the man to horse ratio in this town is abysmal. Probably one of the lowest in the state tbh. Whoever is running for sheriff should like, address this issue for sure.
And if it was up to her, she would see Cole’s relationship with you go up in flames.  Would love to get you out of here, and free from this town.  There was more out there, and better people.  All she could do was hope.
Low key hoping this is like a less toxic version of the Peach/Beck dynamic in “You” season one where they are best gal pals but Peach actually has heart eyes for Beck and that’s why she hates all the dudes Beck dates.
15 min later while I’m editing this comment… shit they are cousins nvm 😅
Oh ya here is the playlist I ended up making.
The best part is that I think I created a new genre of music: Countronica 😎
And yes I started writing this comment at 1:04 and it is currently 7pm but I took breaks and watched soccer in between ok.
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A Little at a Time, Part 2
Summary:  Cole goes to far, and someone catches him…
Pairings:  Cole Turner X Reader
Rating:  explicit
Warnings:  language, fingering, groping, non con, manipulation, coercion, gaslighting, cheating, 18+ ONLY
Word Count:  3.2K
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*dividers created by @firefly-graphics​
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wumblr · 4 years ago
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crossover electronica country genre... countronica
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