#Crown is in as of yesterday afternoon and it feels normal already

[rin-eko]

Chapter Twenty-One - Twisted

masterpost

There had been many times in your life where you didn’t know how to react to something. Where you knew the answers- what the proper reactions were- but all you could do in those moments was stand in shock. Even if you should have been angry, or distraught or grieving, all you could feel inside of you was a numb confusion.

The day your grandmother died. The evening you returned home from a trip to find Saeya locked in a small, dark closet.

The morning your mother told you about your marriage to the crown prince.

You knew what pregnancy meant, of course. But as you knelt before Aika the meaning of the word wasn’t coming to you. As if your mind had blocked it out for your own protection.

You tilted your head, murmuring, “You’re… pregnant?”

She smiled at you softly, nodding. “Indeed. I just spoke to Lady Tali about it this afternoon and a doctor confirmed it yesterday. You see, I haven’t bled in a long time so I had my suspicions. Isn’t this cause for celebration? The crown prince’s first child! How wonderful!” she clapped her hands together.

“Ha…” a disbelieving smile touched your lips as you stared at the floor.

“I had intentions to speak with the two of you about when we can expect a child from Miss y/n, but this woman came forward first. I was surprised because she is not one of your concubines, Haruchiyo,” Tali slanted her grandson a look. “I’ve looked into her family. She is a common woman and despite what you’ve been taught you have allowed a child to develop and taint the bloodline of the throne that has been pure for generations. All we can do is wait and hope this baby will be a girl. In the meantime, you and your bride must try for a son. It has been too long, soon questions about Princess Y/n’s fertility will arise.”

Your face burned from embarrassment as she continued to speak, expertly taking control of the situation. You vaguely registered her addressing Haruchiyo, but her voice sounded faraway. You finally realised that it was because you had stopped breathing, and just as you realised this your lungs seized terribly. Haruchiyo met your wide, shaking eyes and in his you saw a panic that finally made your grasp the reality of the situation. The reality you should have understood every time he held you close and murmured so tenderly that he was yours.

Your entire body jerked forward, desperately sucking in the air that had been stolen from shock.

“Oh Gods,” you mumbled, gripping your clothes right over your heart. You wanted to claw at it, scratch the source of pain from your chest. It already had cracks in it, but you could feel it then, just moments away from shattering.  

You winced when your eyes clouded over, the floor before you a hazy blur. More than anything you didn’t want to cry. Not over this. Not over something so normal.

You searched out Aika’s blurry figure, gaze dropping to her flat stomach. She was barely pregnant. How long ago…

Bile rose in your throat and you scrambled to cover your mouth, feeling sick with the mengtal images assaulting you.

You had been so careless with your heart. In an effort to mend Haruchiyo’s you had foregone protecting your own.

You gripped into your hair tightly, nails scraping down your scalp. Breathing was becoming harder, the heat overlapping your body causing black spots to dance in your vision. You pushed the hair back from your face as you sat straight, immediately swaying in place.

“Y/n.” You vaguely heard his voice calling your name. You had completely forgotten there were other people in the room until two long arms wrapped around you and pulled you into a familiar slender chest.

“I don’t understand, I don’t understand,” you chanted. What would happen now? You’d have to watch him raise another woman’s child? There was no way out of it. You couldn’t run away. No matter what he did running away wasn’t a possibility in your position. If you weren’t executed for abandoning the throne, you would be shunned. There was no place in society for an impure, single woman who had run away from her husband. You hadn’t fully considered that wanting a true, loving marriage with the prince left you so vulnerable to his actions. No matter what he did, you would never be able to leave him.

Soft lips ducked into your neck, a strong hand holding the back of your neck.

“Y/n, breathe. I need you to listen to me.”

Your head lifted, finally registering his body pressed to yours, arms gripping you as if afraid you’d disappear at any moment. His eyes were pleading with you to… what? Listen to this? Listen to him try to explain…

You keeled forward again thinking about their bodies twined together. Him touching her the same way he had you. Her bringing him all the pleasure in the world.

You shoved him away with one hand, the other still covering your mouth as you gasped for air.

“Child.” Tali’s hand touched the top of your head gently and you looked up with shaky eyes to meet her strict gaze.

“I understand your difficult position but know your place. We will give you and the prince a few moments alone, but this needs to be addressed. If the baby is a boy, Haruchiyo will marry Miss Aika as a concubine.”

Your lips trembled, tears continuing to pour down your cheeks as everyone but him exited the room. He immediately reached for you again, staring in horror when you flinched and crawled back away from him.

He looked lost, kneeling to the floor staring at you and trying to find the words to take the pain away.

And he looked beautiful, too. Long robes surrounding him, his light eyes glimmering in the reflection of the moon.

“When…” you whispered. “When was the last time you…”

You couldn’t even finish that sentence. Just looking at him made your heart lurch another painful beat, a vine of thorns slowly wrapping around it.

“Don’t,” he whispered painfully. Achingly. In a way that made you realise he didn’t want to tell the answer because it was that bad. His jaw tightened as his face turned away, eyes closing in what you could only label as shame.

“Tell me,” you sobbed. “I need to know. When was the last time you did that with her?”

“You don’t want to know…”

“Tell me!” you screamed, voice cracking awfully. You wanted to hit him until he looked as bruised as you felt. Until he could even feel an ounce of the pain he continued to put you through.

His hands were trembling when they reached for you, dropping at the look of dare on your face.

His head lowered. “…The weeks after I fought with Rindou. I… spent time with her,” he said as delicately as possible. “But it didn’t mean anything, Y/n. You need to listen to me, please. Doing that doesn’t mean anything with anyone except you. I would take it back if I could. It was just because-”

“I don’t want to listen to you.” You stood. “D-Do you think those words make up for it? I can’t even look at you. It’s possible then. It’s really possible. She’s having your child. She’s…”

Your legs gave out again, and you promptly collapsed, your knees hitting the floor hard.

“It hurts. Why did you… it hurts. It hurts.”

He couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t just watch you like that. He groaned in distress, pulling you into his arms again and feeling your tears drip onto him, his heart squeezing painfully with each one.

Every one of your sniffles, every tremble of your body, had his heart moaning in anguish, because though you may never have believed a single word from him again, his heart was connected to yours.  

“I know. I know. Shhh.” He was licking away your tears but more spilled down your face.

“My heart isn’t strong enough for this. I can’t do it. I can’t do this anymore, Haruchiyo.”

“I’m sorry,” he pleaded. Through tears you saw he was crying too, and you wanted to yell at him if you weren’t choking on shortened breaths. Why was he crying? Who gave him the right to be sad, to look so devastated. “Please. I’m sorry. Just don’t… don’t leave me.”

You had never seen him cry, even when he spoke about his brother- but how could you possibly care for him in that moment when you had yourself to take care of. You had to stitch yourself back together again. How many times had it been since you first married? One day you would never heal.

You pushed him away, too fragile to let him hold you. Even his lightest touch felt burning.

“Why are you sorry?” You swayed to your feet, staring blankly in front of you. “You haven’t done anything wrong. It doesn’t matter, anyways. This marriage was never real. It was doomed from the start.” Never had you wished more for you to have fought against this marriage when you first found out about it.

He stood, too, reaching for you again and quickly retracting his arms when you held your hand up.

“Don’t say that. You can’t say that,” he begged. “This was real. It is real. Everything with Aika was a mistake. You need to listen to me. Fuck, stop crying. Please stop crying. I can’t see you cry and not hold you…”

“If you touch me, I will hit you. And I don’t need to listen to you. I don’t need to do anything for you. I don’t even want to see your face ever again. This…” you raised your hands helplessly. “This relationship has always been so twisted. From the very start there was something wrong with it. I don’t know what I was expecting…”

He flinched from that voice, too. From how empty you sounded. From how he could see you visibly pulling away. “Stop acting like that. Stop acting like this marriage is nothing,” he pleaded quietly.

It was one of his worst fears when he thought about you finding out how far his relationship went with Aika. That you would go back to the way you used to be. He loved the way you had grown to look at him. He never wanted it to go back to the way it used to be when you didn’t care for him. he wouldn’t be able to stand it.

But he could see it happening right then. Fading from your eyes so tangibly he wanted to grab onto the remaining feelings you had for him and never let them go, never let you take them back no matter how much he messed up.

He was so selfish. It didn’t stop him from thinking about himself once more.

“I was angry then,” he started desperately. “I didn’t know you. I didn’t know what I could be hurting. I was so angry. At Sara and the emperor, and even you because my feelings for you were so confusing, and I-”

“Decided the best way to handle your feelings was to take them out on Aika? What did I do to you?” you cried out. “I didn’t do anything to you! From the beginning of this marriage you’ve hurt me even while I didn’t do anything to you!” Your whole body shook when you met his gaze. “Even though I’ve been yours since the moment we wed, you’ve never been mine. Your words of faith are as fake as this marriage. You never had to court me. You never had to earn me. It’s no wonder you never respected me.”

“That’s not true,” he murmured, tears rolling down his pale cheeks. “I’m yours. There isn’t a single part of me that doesn’t belong to you. How can I make you see that? Tell me, I’ll do anything. Please…”

This was so much more terrible than he thought it would be. Your emotionless gaze winded him.

You lifted a hand. “I’ve heard enough of this. I’m calling for empress dowager. I think she wants to speak to you and Aika about how this will happen. I’ll… I still have duties to attend to this evening.”

As soon as Aika and Tali entered the room, Haruchiyo’s piercing gaze fell to the mother-to-be.

“You’re lying!” he yelled at her. “You’re lying. You fucking bitch! Tell her the truth. Tell her you’re lying.” His voice broke and he looked back to you. “Y/n, please stay. Listen to me explain. You have to. You can’t leave. You can’t leave me.”

“Why are you trying so hard?” you questioned at the door, one hand holding the frame as you looked over your shoulder. “Your true love is having your baby. It’s like she said. This is cause for celebration. Your first heir. Congratulations, my prince.”

“I don’t love her. I thought I did, but that’s not love. What you and I have- that’s-”

“No, it’s not,” you interrupted. “What we had was cheap and untrue.”

Aika sighed. “I don’t understand how you can even say that, Haru. You didn’t even sleep in the same bed as her for months after the wedding.”

Tali snapped to attention, staring at her grandson. “Is this true?”

He clicked his tongue, looking away.

“It is,” Aika spoke up. “I know because we shared a bed often.”

You flinched, edging out of the room. Haruchiyo’s gaze snapped to you, silently pleading.

“Excuse me, then.” You bowed, biting into your lip so hard you tasted blood.

“Y/n,” he implored quietly, voice so filled with acute hurt your eyes naturally sought him out to comfort him even considering what he had done. You made out his lips shaping the word please, beautiful blues so sad, before you exited, barely making it to your marriage room before sliding to a heap on the floor and curling into yourself.

…

“Miss? Miss? You cannot sleep on the floor, please allow me to take you to bed.”

You looked up blearily, Kia’s small face swimming in front of you.

“Kia? What time is it?” You winced, pushing off the hard floor, your whole body aching.

“It’s just past midnight. I’ll draw a bath and ready your bed.”

“No.” You allowed her to help you to your feet. Your eyes were sore and swollen, no doubt from crying. You recognised the pain consistently making your heart clench. It was much more severe, but similar to the uncomfortable tightness that had settled in your chest as you grew to love the prince. A feeling that made you want to run and hide so he never had power over you.

“I still need to do the accounts. I’m going to the sweet plum room.”

She shook her head. “You mustn’t. It is late and you need to rest.”

You sighed, sending her a tired look. “Kia, please understand. I need a distraction. I cannot think about-” you sighed, “I cannot think about him.”

Sympathy shone in her gentle eyes before she looked down and nodded, pressing her lips together for a moment.

“I… I know this won’t make you feel better, princess consort, but if I could I would hit the prince with all the power in my fists,” she stated fervently, holding up said fists. “I think he deserves it. But I don’t want my family to be punished for my actions.”

You sent her a warm smile, finding her silly words strangely comforting. No one else in the palace would think the prince had done a thing wrong. Most likely the handmaids were already gossiping about how selfish and unreasonable you were for throwing a fit at the news. But Kia was on your side without question, providing a gentle, healing kindness.

Perhaps you were being selfish and unreasonable. Had there ever been an emperor who didn’t take other women to bed and marry several wives? You were so greedy, wanting all of him.

“Thank you for those words, Kia.” You paused, the question of Haruchiyo’s whereabouts on the tip of your tongue. You mentally shook it off. He was probably still with Aika. They had a lot to discuss.

You distracted yourself, facing Aika. “Is my sister in bed?”

“Yes, she fell asleep early.”

“Good.” If she caught sight of you now, she would immediately know that something had upset you and go on the defensive.

“Kia, what do you think I should do?” you asked quietly as you left your room.

“About the prince?”

“Yes.” You trusted her opinion more than anyone else’s.

She bit her lip. “I won’t be of much use to you, miss. The thing is, I have never been in love so I do not know the pain you are feeling now. Perhaps if I had I would be able to give you advice.”

“Are you betrothed?”

She shook her head. “My parents married for love so they understand that their children may want to as well. They have not arranged a marriage for any of us.”

You let out a breath. “That’s good. You are lucky.”

“Very. I love them so much.”

“Are you going to visit them soon?”

“Yes. In a few weeks.”

“Can you imagine yourself in my shoes, just for a moment? Would forgiveness be a possibility?” Did you have any right to forgive? Had he done anything so wrong?

The pain in your chest was only yours. Perhaps you had no right to even be speaking of whether to forgive him or not when you had been the delusional one to begin with.

She thought about it carefully, tilting her head in thought. “I have seen how the crown prince acts around you. If that is not love, I am not sure what is. But, if I were married to a man who had assured me of his faithfulness and treated me well and then gone against his word, I do not know I could forgive him. My heart hurts even thinking of such a situation. I know it’s abnormal and maybe unrealistic,” she looked down with a soft smile, “but I really couldn’t stand to share him with anyone else. I suppose I’m very romantic.”

“No,” you smiled sadly. “I understand you. Even though the prince had made no promises to me at the time they made this child, it still hurts. I suppose my feelings are illogical. I wish I knew of a way to make it stop. My grandmother used to say that only time can ease heartache, but it’s so painful I’m not sure I can wait for time to pass.”

You both turned onto the balcony that connected two sides of the palace, feeling the fresh night air brush your faces.

“My older sister told me once that love is different for men and women. A man can love a woman but still need more. His body may require many different women even while his heart is occupied by just one. Women are different, however. Their bodies and hearts are connected. I always thought it was unfair that the gods created humans that way.”

“I own neither his heart nor his body,” you murmured. “He no longer resents me for this union, but he certainly doesn’t love me. And if this is his love, I do not want it.”

Silence fell between you as you walked the length of the balcony, absorbed in the sight of the city, still alive with lights and lanterns. On very quiet nights, when the wind lay low and the clouds cleared, you could faintly here the voices of the capital folk laughing and chatting.

“Let go. I told you I don’t want to speak to you.” Your head turned at the sound of a hushed female voice coming from the darkness at the other end of the walkway. Shadows moved just before a woman around your age came stomping onto the balcony, clearly agitated.

You paused in step, staring at the unfamiliar face. Your eyes widened when you recognised the man behind her.

He took her arm, spinning her to face him again.

“What has gotten into you? Why are you acting this way?” Rindou hissed, frowning in deep discontentment.

“What way? I don’t know what you are talking about. Will you leave me alone, I have things to do,” she snapped.

“I won’t,” he gritted. “You are acting strange. You’ve been acting strange ever since you got back. We should talk about this.”

She continued walking, glancing behind her. “I don’t know what to tell you. I am acting normal but you clearly-” she paused on sight of you, immediately bowing her head. “Crown princess consort, good evening.”

“Good evening.” You looked to Rindou who was gnashing his teeth, clearly frustrated.

He begrudgingly introduced her as his childhood friend, Lady Cerya, though his eyes didn’t leave her once during the introduction. He was glaring at her, but at the same time you recognised the hurt in his eyes. The woman clearly meant a great deal to him.

“I will leave you to converse. Excuse me,” she bowed again and quickly manoeuvred around you, hurrying away.

You turned back to Rindou, who looked even more annoyed than before.

“Fuck!” he suddenly yelled, punching the railing.

You took a startled step back. “Are you okay, Master Rindou?”

He rested his hands on the railing, head hanging between his arms.

“I must ask you to refrain from using such language in the princess’s presence,” Kia informed.

His head turned to face you, hair falling over his eyes. He straightened as if he had only just realised your presence. “Princess. My apologies, I forgot myself.”

“It’s fine,” you shook your head dismissively. “But are you okay? Your hand is bleeding.”

He looked down, seeing the crimson liquid dripping from his knuckles.

“Oh.” He bit his lip, staring at the injury. “Hmm.”

“Rindou?” You touched his arm lightly when it was clear his thoughts had veered off to a different direction again.

“I’m sorry,” he smiled sadly. “I’m just a bit distracted.”

“Are you okay? You seemed upset with that woman.”

“Upset?” he stared at the view. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Can I help with anything?”

He chuckled, low. Shook his head, “I don’t think anything can help with this. Though, it would be nice to have a woman’s opinion so I can try and figure out just what is going on in her stubborn head.”

“You see, she was kidnapped almost a year ago. She was gone for a few months,” Rindou started. His fists had balled on the railing. “A group of men grabbed her and threw her in a carriage.”

You gasped. “That’s terrible. How did she escape?”

“She was found lying unconscious on the capital streets two weeks ago. They let her go. I don’t know why and she is refusing to speak about it. When she was first taken I thought maybe the kidnappers would request a ransom because she’s the daughter of a lord, but it appears that wasn’t their intent as they never made contact. I don’t know what happened to her and she refuses to speak to me,” he murmured. You had never seen him look so depressed, so tired and forlorn. “Every time I get close to her she runs away. I know she’s probably traumatised from what she experienced but I want to help her, she just won’t let me.”

“That’s so awful. I’m sorry. You guys must have been close if you grew up together.”

“Mm,” he nodded, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “She would visit Toku often and when we grew older we started sharing a bed. I was going to ask her to marry me before this happened.”

You swooned on the spot. His eyes were so full of love as he recalled their memories, your inner romantic couldn’t help but emerge.

“So?” He tilted his head at you. “I know I’m meant to be an advisor, but I could use a woman’s advice right now.”

“I wish I knew what to say. I can’t even imagine what she went through and what she must be feeling. She’s probably trying to re-acquaint herself with her normal life. It must be overwhelming. If she underwent any form of mental or physical abuse she’s probably feeling a lot of emotions. Maybe she doesn’t want you to see her like that. Or maybe she just needs time.”

He smiled mirthlessly. “I just hate how it seems she’s completely written me off. Like she doesn’t feel anything for me anymore, or I’m just another person to her.”

You both fell to silence once more before he spoke up again.

“But you don’t give up on the people you love. Even when she doesn’t want me there I’ll be there.”

How beautiful, to have a love like that. You had yearned for it since you were young, when your grandmother used to tell you how important it was to marry a man you loved fully and who loved you the same way. If she had been alive, you wondered if she would have permitted your marriage to Haruchiyo.

You sighed, exhausted from the emotional day and on the verge of tears once more. Utterly miserable, you looked out at the city and didn’t notice Rindou’s eyes on you.

“You look like something is weighing heavily on your mind, too,” he murmured.

You smiled a little, at your own expense. “I guess. I don’t know if you’ve heard but Aika is having Haruchiyo’s baby.”

He continued smiling softly for a moment, staring at you until your words sank in. He straightened. “What?” he asked quietly.

You nodded. “Yes, we found out this afternoon.”

“Are you playing a joke?” he stared at you, wide-eyed.

“I wish I was. He’s probably with empress dowager and Aika now.”

Rindou blinked, frowning a little. “I find it hard to believe.”

“I don’t,” you chuckled. “Not at all.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “I recall Haruchiyo mentioning in the past that Aika took a contraceptive tonic when Ran asked if he was worried about making her pregnant. She was strongly against having children because of what it could do to her body, which is believable because women like her care about little other than their appearances.”

“Apparently a doctor confirmed it. And Haruchiyo told me it was possible. It hasn’t been too long since they last… I’m sure you know,” you looked down.

He sighed. “I’m sorry. I knew they were still seeing each other even after you married. I should have said something. We did become friends, after all. I suppose I was hoping you wouldn’t ever have feelings for him, because I knew something he did would end up hurting you.”

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t be so upset. I know that. I’m trying to think about what to do.”

“No. You have every right to be upset. Love is not logical.”

You supposed so. Your feelings certainly weren’t. But…

You hugged yourself. “I don’t think we love each other.”

He stared at you, incredulous. “Are you serious?”

You frowned. “About what? I know Haruchiyo doesn’t love me.”

Rindou sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “He’s really made a mess of things,” he muttered. Looking back at you, “Princess, I have known Haruchiyo for most of my life. Never have I seen him like this before. Not with Aika or any other woman. He can’t take his eyes off you when you’re in the same room. After meetings he rushes off to be with you. He finds stupid excuses to be around you. I’ve seen the change you invoke in him. If that’s not love, perhaps I really don’t know what is.”  

Your bottom lip wobbled. How you had wished for a love like the one he was describing when you were young. A love that made you believe you had been put on this earth to love a someone. You had always used to think that was such a wonderful reason to live, but it was not so. Those fantasies had been suppressed when you became a teenager and started your lessons and training, and you learnt to let go of those expectations.

And yet, here you were, heartbroken because maybe for a moment you had believed that Haruchiyo was that person.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“I can hit him for you again.”

That sparked a smile from you. “I might take you up on that offer.”

“Anytime you wish.”

Taglist: @soushswag @crown5 @angelmitsuri @c4tboyxiao @azusachna @luka-ali @denkis-slut @rinrinfoxy @multistan-247 @7inaa @emilymikado @user82014069991 @blvkeverest @magentaviolette @kooromin @night-shadowblood-writes2​

[wildlittlefoxsworld]

Marry me and you never have to be alone

That is my first Harry Potter fanfiction on my blog. Of course, the fanfiction has a reader-insert.

Pairing: Harry Potter x female!reader

Words: 1.8k

Harry Potter Masterlist

***

The sun was slowly rising over the Burrow, but it was still dawn and grey light shined through the curtains. You turned your head towards the window and opened it to let the fresh morning air in your room. A light breeze puffed the long white dress up you wore. You liked the dress; it had a little lace on the neckline and thin straps over your shoulders. You hoped that Harry would like it. You knew it wasn’t a fancy dress, but you for you it was perfect. You didn’t have much time to plan anything, because you decided last night that you want to commit yourself to Harry.

You were more worried about your hair, you didn’t really know what do with it, so Hermione suggested to wear a flower crown. She swung her wand and little white roses bloomed in your hair with green leaves.

“You are truly beautiful. Harry will be speechless,” Hermione complimented you.

“You look like a fairy,” Luna added and showed you her typical dreamy smile.

“Alright, I will look if Ron and Harry are ready. And you… take deep breaths and we meet in ten minutes in the garden under the big tree.”

Hermione left you alone and Luna followed quietly. You looked at yourself in the mirror again and you ran hands over the cotton material of the dress. You smiled at yourself calmly, but on the inside you felt excited and nervous. You were only seventeen years old, two months older than Harry. Some would say that you were both too young, that it was too rushed. You knew this, you knew that many reasons spoke to stop it all right now and just live and enjoy your life, but you didn’t know how much time you had left.

 “I like the summer. It’s my favorite season, you know,” you said smiling and closed your eyes to enjoy the last ray of sunlight.

“I know, you tell me every year since we know each other,” Harry responded and caressed the back of your hand with his thumb.

“It’s so peaceful. I wish it could be always like this. It feels like that I don’t need to worry. I wish we could have a normal summer until the school begins. It would be our last year. Can you imagine it? Next year at this time we will have graduated and you will start to become an auror.”

“I love the way that you’re always to optimistic, but I have a bad feeling of the future. Voldemort won’t rest, you experienced last night and it will only get worse. We have to fight him, Y/N,” Harry averred. He was determined to succeed in defeating the Dark Lord.

“I know that we have to fight and I will be at your side, but I hope that we will have someday a normal life, Harry. I dream of you and me. Old, with wrinkly faces and grey hair, sitting on our veranda and watching our grand children play in the garden.”

Harry looked astonished at you. You inclined your head and quirked an eyebrow questioningly.

“You’re serious about it?” he asked still surprised.

“Of course, I’m serious. I might be seventeen, but I know what I want. I love you, Harry, more than anything and I want a future with you.”

“I love you too. It’s just… I thought that I was lucky that I have you now. Well, you aren’t bound to me and I don’t know what the future will hold. There weren’t many people in my life who loved me.”

You turned to face Harry directly and embraced him in your arms.

“I’m not going anywhere, Harry. You stuck with me now,” you chuckled, but your voice had still a serious tone. Harry hugged you back tightly and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

You were lost in your thoughts for a few moments and slowly an idea formed in your head how you could prove Harry that you were serious about your love.

“Marry me,” you whispered in his ear and Harry’s body tensed for a moment. He loosened your hug and looked at you very confused.

“You want to marry me?”

“Yes,” you answered and sounded very convincing.

“But… why? When? I don’t understand… that’s so sudden,” Harry stuttered and shrugged helplessly his shoulders.

“I know, I know. Maybe it’s stupid, but I want just to be with you. We don’t what tomorrow will bring, but I know that there is a war coming. We will fight and no one knows if we lose or win. How many from our families and friends will survive. I don’t know if we’ll survive. And if die, I will die as your wife. I don’t want to spend another day apart from you.”

You felt a tear running down your cheek and Harry brushed it away with his fingers.

“Don’t cry. Please, I can’t stand seeing your cry. I understand now and if this is your deepest wish, then I will make it come true.”

“You’re sure? I don’t want to force you, I know it completely rushed and dumb, but I love you and I don’t care what other people will think or say as long as we are happy. Do want you to marry me?”

Harry took your face in both of his hands and gave you a chaste kiss on your lips.

“Yes, honey. But shouldn’t I ask you this question?”

You just laughed and kissed him again.

 The first day of August would be your wedding date. Sadly the same date as Bill and Fleur, because their wedding would be at the afternoon. But you didn’t tell anyone, beside your best friends Hermione, Ginny, Ron and your maternal cousin Luna. You knew that Fleur would have been offended and Molly Weasley would have been crossed about your decision to marry on the same day as Bill and Fleur. You really didn’t want to ruin their day, so you would marry in a little ceremony at this morning.

Everyone in the house was already awake, but the guests didn’t come yet and Molly and the other women were busy to prepare Fleur for her wedding and the men were helping the groom’s father building the tent behind the house.

You tiptoed down the wooden stairs and made sure that no one saw you leaving the house through the back door. Hermione, Ginny and Luna waited for you a few meters away and Hermione waved with her hand to signal you that must made haste before the men in the garden would notice you.

You exhaled slowly when you were out of their sight and Luna took giggling your hand, because Hermione was ushering you to walk further along the outskirts of the nearby forest.

You saw Harry already standing under the big tree where you always used to sit when you both spend your time in the Burrow. There you decided last night to make this big step in your relationship.

Harry was wearing a simple white button down, it didn’t fit him so well, and grey trousers, but he looked as handsome as always.

You hold tight to Luna’s hand when you approached Harry. He stared at you with his mouth light ajar and you chuckled slightly at this view.

“Hey,” you whispered when you stopped a few feet away from him.

Ron poked Harry into the rips with his elbow to wake him out of his trance.

“Hi, Y/N, you look good… no, you look stunning, gorgeous, divine,” he stumbled out the compliments and saw him blushing, because he felt silly that he began to stutter.

“You look awesome yourself,” you replied with a bright smile.

 A man cleared his throat who stood with you under the big tree. The man would wed Fleur and Bill later and Hermione could convince him to wed the both of you in the morning. She didn’t want to reveal how she convinced him and you didn’t care, but you were truly grateful to have a friend like her.

“Who give the bride to the groom?” The man spoke with a low baritone and you looked helplessly at Hermione and Luna. You didn’t think about all the part of a wedding to be honest, but like always Hermione had a plan and whispered something in Luna’s ear, and your cousin nodded at her words.

“As Y/N’s cousin, I will give her to the groom,” Luna announced in her clear voice and guided you over to Harry to lay your hand in his. She smiled encouraging and you formed a thank you with your lips.

You gave your fully attention to Harry and he took both of your hands. You squeezed his shortly and Harry gave you a lovingly smile. His green eyes sparkled with joy and happiness and you thought your heart might explode with love for him.

“Today we come together to celebrate the union between Harry and Y/N. You may say your vows now,” the man summoned you and Harry took a moment to grab a piece of paper that Ron handed him.

“This morning, I woke up excited because today is the day I marry my best friend. Yesterday I didn’t know that this would happen, but I am grateful that my life became more spontaneous with you. I promise to continue our relationship joyfully with laughter, compassion, humor, and love throughout our life together.”

His words were meant honest and the little smile at his lips never faded. At the end you both had tears in your eyes and you heard Ron blowing his nose.

“Okay, I think it’s my turn. Harry, I knew shortly after we met that we would partner not just for a time, but for life. You take my breath away every time I see you, and I still get butterflies in your presence. I promise to love you in this life and beyond as we walk side-by-side as life partners. My heart will be always yours. I love you now and forever.”

You both laughed, because you couldn’t stop the happy tears and Harry leaned forward to press his lips to yours for a few seconds.

The man continued the ceremony and after you both clearly declared the words ‘I do’, you were presented as Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter to your friends. Hermione, Luna, Ginny and Ron cheered and applauded as Harry and you walked a few steps away from them.

“We did it,” you said with a giggle and Harry turned towards you.

“Yeah, we did it. I still can’t believe it. You must know that Hermione helped me with the vows,” Harry confessed and you laughed at his words.

“She did a perfect job. But you’re right, it feels unreal, but it’s true. We are a married couple now.”

“Do we tell the others?”

“Not today,” you answered shaking your head.

“But maybe next week?” Harry suggested.

“My dad will definitely kill us.”

“I can handle your dad. Can you handle Mrs. Weasley?”

“Yeah, I think Mrs. Weasley is more terrifying.”

You both laughed again and Harry pulled you tightly to his chest.

“I can handle everything that will come as long as I have you by my side.”

[rosesgonerogue]

I didn’t so much fall in love - It kicked me in the face Chapter Two

Marinette had never made a habit of it, but that night she let Leo sleep in her bed for both of their sakes. She needed him right next to her so she knew he was safe, alive. 

She was awake before him, which was rare, but expected after the events from yesterday - it was a lot for a six-year-old to handle. Without thinking, she reached out, slowly stroking his hair. 

At the sensation, Leo’s eyes cracked open, blue that matched her own. “Maman? Is everything okay?” 

She pressed a kiss to his silky black hair. “Everything is wonderful because you’re with me. Are you ready to get up?” 

He yawned, slowly nodding. “What do we need to do today?” 

“Well, we have an important meeting this afternoon, but until then, what would you like to do?” 

Leo, ever the serious child, though deeply, his eyebrows furrowing. “What is safe and fun in this city?” 

Tapping her chin, Marinette pretended to think just as deeply. “I don’t know, I’ve never been to Gotham before. But you know who has?” 

“Who, Maman?” 

“Uncle Jagged has!” 

Like the sun breaking through storm clouds, Leo’s face cleared, a smile spreading across his lips. “Can we please call him, Maman? He could tell us what we should do!” 

“Ah, how did I get such a brilliant boy?” Marinette asked, poking him in the ribs. “That’s an excellent idea, let’s call him right now.” 

She couldn’t help but smile as she watched Leo talk animatedly on the phone with Jagged. He was an interesting child, with his uncommon seriousness. But in moments like this, Marinette could see the same excitement and vivacity that every child held - it was just contained in his eyes, in the way that his voice was pitched a little higher than usual. She had worried about it for a while, but it wasn’t an issue, it was what made Leo, Leo. When it came down to it, she wouldn’t have him any different than he was. 

Whether his seriousness was a result of her connection to the Miraculous like some of his other quirks, Marinette could never know. But she resolved every day to fill his life with fun and teach him the things that he needed to know. 

Thinking of yesterday, she couldn’t contain her relief that he was okay. Before she knew what she was doing, Marinette had reached out, wrapping her arms around her son and squeezing tightly. 

Somber blue eyes met hers. “Maman, what are you doing?” 

“I just love you so much, I couldn’t stop myself,” she said, pressing a kiss into his hair. 

“Well you can love me after I’m finished talking to Uncle Jagged. It’s rude to interrupt.” 

“Ah, you’re right. Tell Uncle Jagged hello for me, and tell him I’m sorry.” 

***************

Tim paced around Bruce’s office, feeling a bit twitchy. He’d tried to limit his caffeine intake today, but it might have backfired on him. What if he embarrassed himself in front of MDC? He was fairly sure he would just die on the spot.

“So are you guys interested in a bet?” Jason asked with a wicked smile. “Ten bucks says that MDC is actually some old man.” 

“Nah, I refuse to believe that,” Dick said, lightly shoving his brother. “MDC has to be a woman. Look at their attention to detail!” 

“Isn’t that sexist or some crap?” Jason asked. “What say you, Timmy? Have you dug up anything about who MDC is and failed to share with your brothers?” 

“I haven’t found anything,” Tim said, which was true, but not for lack of trying. 

“I didn’t think anyone was beyond Tim’s reach,” Dick said, raising his eyebrows. “But you still know more about MDC than the rest of us. What do you think?” 

“You’re making it sound like I stalk them or something. I just admire their work,” Tim said dismissively. He did know a bit too much about MDC, after all. There were some suspicions, like the fact that they were most likely French, and he’d spent more than a few hours arguing on forum posts about the designer. 

“I will admit, this MDC’s clothes are marginally impressive, but they’re still just clothes. It’s hardly anything worth this level of excitement, Drake,” Damian said, no doubt disgusted by Tim’s display of emotion.

“Are you crazy, Demon Spawn?!” Jason demanded. “MDC is an unparalleled genius! Their work even got me and the replacement to agree on something.” 

“And you will treat them with respect,” Alfred said sternly. “It’s the least you can do after they have travelled all this way for your collective benefit.” 

Damian sulked, but Tim couldn’t be bothered by his normal unpleasantness. He’d been following MDC’s career almost from the very beginning, and now he was going to be part of her clientele. He was meeting her as the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, which was both a blessing and a curse. It meant that he would be playing a part, and therefore infinitely more likely to keep some form of his dignity in tact. However, it also meant that he couldn’t get an autograph without jeopardizing said dignity. 

Dick and Jason were daily spitballing ideals of what they might ask MDC for while Bruce supervised Damian, making sure that any and all weapons in the room were out of sight. Tim knew he was acting a bit… juvenile, but there was something inexplicably exciting and unexplainably important about this meeting. 

That didn’t mean that Tim’s heart didn’t nearly stop beating when the doorbell rang. 

He could hear the door open and close, along with Alfred greeting the guest, directing them to the parlor. It was a woman’s voice, confirming Tim’s long-standing suspicions, and she had a French accent, which made his mind revert back to the previous night. But it was a coincidence, it had to-

Her eyes were a shade of blue he didn’t know existed. It was her, the mystery woman - her son even trailed after her, wide eyes the same as his mother’s. 

She smiled warmly. “It’s a pleasure to meet each of you. I am Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

Taglist: 

@ii-fox-demon @queen-in-a-flower-crown @novaloptr @saphiraazure2708 @iamabrownfox @smolplantmum @redhoodedtoad @loysydark @slytheringinger300 @finallyaniguana @brokenwordsarehard2 @abrx2002 @mystery-5-5 @zalladane @moonlightstar64

Note: 

I wouldn’t expect something every day, but I have quite a bit already written for this story and I’m excited to see your reactions! Let me know what you think, and tune in next time to see what happens when those two actually get to speak to each other! 

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game - CH121

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

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Chapter 121: The Dream of the Holy Nun (XI)

{cw: brief transmisogyny}

On this night, Qi Leren still dreamed, but it was a rare dream that wasn’t a nightmare. No, in a sense, it was a nightmare. The dream was like a movie that was played automatically. It began where he and Dr. Lu had entered the Novice Village, and then Su He appeared. They finished their mission and came to the Village of Dusk, then there was the Witchcraft Sacrifice, and then it jumped to the Castle. In his dream, he experienced the battle where he had defeated the crazy lady in the basement. When he tried to open the drawer with the laptop computer again, his dream came to an abrupt end.

Qi Leren, who had woken up in the middle of the night, was still in a daze. He turned over and went back to sleep. Then he dreamed of Ning Zhou in the Witchcraft Sacrifice. At that time, he still had a woman's appearance. They had intimate contact in the deserted underground cave and explored each other's bodies unscrupulously until…

In his dream, he felt something that shouldn't appear on a woman.

Qi Leren rolled up and sat on the bed in cold sweat. It was already bright out, and his biological clock rarely went on strike. Just as he groped for the watch on the pillow, he saw Ning Zhou sitting on the sofa by the window polishing his double knives.

Qi Leren got a kick and immediately woke up: "Morning... Morning."

Ning Zhou's line of sight paused for a second on his open T-shirt collar, then paused for a second on his sleepy face, nodded lightly, and moved away.

Qi Leren had encountered a little trouble. A normal male would encounter morning trouble beginning in puberty. Now he had two choices: just sit on the bed and wait until it goes away, or go to the bathroom to solve it by himself.

Considering that less than five meters away, there was his (incorrectly gendered) sex dream object, and the other party was wiping the blade with a cold face while his talking eagle stood on the back of the sofa watching him, his brain felt like it was overheating. Qi Leren felt that no matter which one he chose, he was a little ashamed. Now he could only pray that he hadn't made any wrong sounds when he’d been dreaming just now.

Because he was too nervous, he even thought about it. How would Ning Zhou solve this kind of trouble? He vaguely remembered that some religious doctrines not only prohibited premarital sex but even prohibited self-comfort, which was inhumane in multiple ways.

Just as his thoughts were spinning out of control, Ning Zhou suddenly put away his double knives and inserted them back into the sheaths on the outside of his thighs: "I'll get breakfast."

"Oh, good, good." Qi Leren breathed a sigh of relief and watched Ning Zhou leave the room with his black bird.

The trouble was solved. After breakfast, the four people got together again, studied the map of the Holy City Qi Leren had bought from Chen Baiqi, and discussed their actions for the next few days. Finally, they decided to take a general walk around the city now, and then go to investigate the old site of the Holy See.

The Holy City was still the Holy City. It still looked lively after being closed for more than 20 years. However, in some corners signs of the city’s decline could already be seen. Many houses had been abandoned except for those along main roads. It was said that after the demon invasion and the disaster of the new moon, the existing population of the Holy City was less than 10,000.

The streets were full of middle-aged men and women and some white-haired old people, but young men and women were rarely seen, especially children. The four people wandered around to inquire about the Holy City, and then set off to the former site of the Vatican.

"What did the Lord say yesterday? The vicinity of the Vatican was closed by a mysterious force and cannot be entered?" Dr. Lu asked, recalling the information he’d found in the castle yesterday.

Qi Leren responded, "That's what the passer-by said just now. They wanted to seek asylum from the Holy See, but they couldn't get in at all. The Lord's wife is a very devout believer and often prays near the Vatican, but she can't walk into it."

"Let’s go there and see," Su He said.

The former site of Holy City's Vatican was located on a hill on the north side of the city. The white stone buildings built around the mountain were still holy, but felt as if they were in a pool of stagnant water.

"This is a bit like a saint’s sanctuary," Dr. Lu sighed when he stood at the foot of the mountain and looked up.

By what he said, Qi Leren also felt a little similar.

Looking up, the verdant mountain forest was covered with a long ladder composed of white stone steps, extending upwards along the winding mountain road. There were many religious buildings along the way. Green and white constituted the most basic colours of this sanctuary, which shone under the blue sky and white clouds. The church at the top of the mountain seemed to have experienced a war. Half of the buildings had collapsed, but even if only the broken wall remained, it still looked holy and magnificent and fascinating.

In the past, was this the holy land in the eyes of believers?

"Sure enough, it’s closed." Su He stood on the steps and held out his hand, and his palm seemed to touch some strange barrier, ripples spreading from the position of his palm, filled with ominous black.

"The power of the Devil," Ning Zhou said with certainty as he also stepped forward.

"It is the power of the Devil. It seems that they closed the Vatican..." Su He thought for a moment and continued, "The Devil who led the demons to invade the human world for the first time in historical legends should be sealed here."

Dr. Lu's expression was distorted and he asked painfully, "We won't let it out by accident, will we?"

Su He smiled: "It shouldn’t be, because it’s said that the Devils’ inheritance is different from that of human beings. If the old Devil does not die, the new Devil will not be crowned and recognized by the Devils. By now the new Devil has been born. I’m afraid that the old Devil is really dead."

"You mean the three Devils of Power, Slaughter, and Fraud?" Qi Leren remembered that Su He once gave them a basic rundown. "But can three Devil Kings be produced at the same time?"

"This... I don't know." Su He smiled helplessly.

Unable to enter the Vatican, the four people searched near the foot of the mountain and found a cemetery surrounded by flowers and green trees beside a stone stairway.

"The Garden of the Holy Tomb," Qi Leren stood at the entrance of the cemetery and read the inscription.

It was said to be a cemetery, but the Garden of the Holy Tomb was full of flowers, and these beautiful flowers bloomed luxuriantly even now when no one cared for them. If it wasn’t for the few scattered tombstones interspersed among the flowers, people who come here would hardly feel that it was a cemetery.

"I'm starving. Let’s take a rest and investigate the clues in the afternoon." Dr. Lu's stomach had been growling.

"Yes, I'm hungry, too." Qi Leren hadn’t eaten much for breakfast and now he was hungry after running around all morning. Although this was a cemetery, the scenery was good, and four people decided to have a rest here.

Lunch had been prepared by the maid in the Lord's castle. The maid in her forties carefully packed bread and wine in a big basket with jam and bacon, which tasted much better than their own dry food. Spreading out the tablecloth like a basket, the four people sat on the lawn and enjoyed lunch in the sunshine.

After coming to the Nightmare World, Qi Leren hadn't been so relaxed in a long time. He’d left the depressing mechanical city of the Village of Dusk with its sun that never fell. The sunshine and air here and now made him relaxed and happy. Ning Zhou's eagle also liked this environment very much. It got out of its pet bag, grabbed a large piece of bacon, and flew off on its wings. Even its shadow had left.

After being satiated with food and drink, Qi Leren circled the Garden of the Holy Tomb. In the corner of the garden there was a huge tree stump, which should be the remains of a huge tree that had been struck down in a thunderstorm after its interior had decayed. The trunk laying more than a meter away on the ground had fallen down and become a piece of lifeless deadwood on the grass. Even so, the broken trunk with a diameter of two meters was higher than Qi Leren standing in front of it.

The stump left by it had been hollowed out, but it was interesting that green grass had grown out of the hollowed-out wooden stump, making the space in the stump look like a natural open bed.

In this season, the flowers were in full bloom and the surrounding treetops were full of flowers, mostly blue and white. When a gust of wind blew the petals fell down in a swirl, and fell into the hollow stump, covering the grass inside the stump, which looked soft and comfortable.

Qi Leren, who was a little sleepy after eating and drinking, simply stepped on the roots above the ground and climbed into the stump. He was covered with fresh grass and fallen flowers that distributed their fragrance, and sighed contentedly.

The stump of this huge wooden tree that had been broken off became a small bed for his nap, with just enough room for a person to sleep. Lying in it, Qi Leren closed his eyes and let the sun fall on him, making him blush, and his whole body was filled with sunshine and warmth.

In the quiet Garden of the Holy Tomb, Qi Leren could still vaguely hear the voices of Dr. Lu and Su He, but their voices were pushed farther and farther by sleepiness, and he fell asleep.

"Why are there roses carved on this tombstone?" Dr. Lu asked, pointing to a tombstone.

After carefully studying the tombstone, Su He said: "The key should not be roses, but the number. There are just seven roses, which means 'I love you' here. This should be a tombstone for someone’s lover."

Dr. Lu hit his right hand with his left hand: "Yes, I remember you told me and Leren in the Castle task."

The conversation between the two attracted Ning Zhou's attention. He also saw the tombstone with the name and life of a Holy See believer. Her name was Susan, a devout believer who had disappeared on the night of the new moon. Her husband held a funeral for her, praying that her soul could be saved by God. The lifelike rose relief on the tombstone was painted white. 

"White roses are pure love," Ning Zhou said. Maria had loved white roses, so he remembered.

He still remembered that Maria told him about the Garden of the Holy Tomb outside the Holy City’s Vatican. When she was a girl, she had planted many roses here which were colorful, but she loved white best. There was a towering tree in the corner of the Garden of the Holy Tomb where she had hung a swing and played alone in the evening wind. It was an innocent and carefree time.

More than 20 years had passed and the roses planted by Maria had survived tenaciously, growing in the corners of the Garden of the Holy Tomb, and the tree that she had hung from the swing on…

"Hey, where’s Qi Leren?" Dr. Lu asked curiously.

"He seems to have wandered over there." Su He pointed to the corner of the garden.

Ning Zhou strode past and he found Qi Leren in the corner of the garden. He was lying in the hollow stump, sleeping amongst grass and petals, and taking a nap in the warm afternoon sun. A naughty petal rolled down his hair along the wind and ran to his face, getting stuck in his eyelashes. He seemed to feel itchy, and his wrinkled nose scrunched. The breeze saved the petal from his eyelashes. It bounced and landed between his lips. The blue and white petal looked more bright outlined by his red lips. Ning Zhou stared at it for a long time…

"Qi Leren - where did you go?"

Dr. Lu's cry came from a distance and Qi Leren, who was sleeping soundly, woke up with a start, suddenly opened his eyes, and it seemed that something was blocking the sunshine... He lied in the petals and looked up and his eyes fell on a piece of blue, which was bluer than the sky. It was clear and pure, hitting his heart. For a moment he didn't realize it wasn’t the sky, but Ning Zhou standing by the tree. He looked at him quietly, still so cold, as if the gentle blue he saw just now was the illusion that he had not yet woken up from.

"I fell asleep?" Qi Leren opened his mouth, and the petal falling between his lips was eaten by him. He quickly sat up and looked in all directions to find the source of the sound just now.

Dr. Lu trotted to him and exclaimed in amazement: "This bed looks so comfortable, it’s still all natural and pure, you really know where to find a place."

Qi Leren jumped out of the stump and patted the petals and grass clippings on his clothes. "Do you want to lie down for a while?"

Dr. Lu looked at the stump for a while and gave up: "Forget it, let's eat small cakes. I brought them from the Village of Dusk. They’re delicious."

Qi Leren took a reluctant look at the comfortable tree bed and finally followed Dr. Lu to the picnic place. Su He sat on the grass casually,  smiled, and raised the goblet filled with wine to greet them. As they walked along, Qi Leren looked back. Ning Zhou stood by the stump and looked at him silently.

He hadn’t thought he'd look back. A little surprise appeared in his blue eyes, and there was some hidden emotion that was too late to be restrained. He restrained it implicitly, almost to self-abuse, quiet and always too easy to miss. There were too many details in a single moment, so people who couldn’t understand ignore them completely. In the warm sunshine in the afternoon, Qi Leren smiled,raised his hand, and waved to Ning Zhou: "Come with us!"

So he hesitated for just a moment, then walked straight and firmly towards him.

-----

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[daisylincs]

Tag 9 people you’d like to catch up with/know better.

I got tagged by @infinitestarsintheskye, @besidemethewholedamntime, @here-for-huntingbird, @sad-tunes and @tomatobookworm - ahhh, thanks so much, guys, I feel so loved!! 🥰🥰🥰

LAST SONG: Oh, ummm... it was Someone Like You, I think?? My boyfriend, unlike me, does not have this week off, and apparently Adele songs are how he deals with the disappointment 🤣🤣🤣

LAST MOVIE: Emma (2020) - one of my friends came over yesterday afternoon and we geeked out about how much we love historical romances, so we unanimously decided to rewatch this one 

CURRENTLY WATCHING: catching up on The Crown!! It’s SO GOOD ahhh, and, guys, Helena Bonham Carter is in Seasons 3 and 4

CURRENTLY READING: Normal People by Sally Rooney, because I’ve been meaning to watch the TV series for a while now and I believe you should always read the book first, and also because @infinitestarsintheskye has an amazing FS AU for it and I was hooked

CURRENTLY CRAVING: mmmm... Terry’s Chocolate Orange. I was telling @que-mint-tea about British sweets the other day and now apparently that’s all my brain can think about 🤣🤦‍♀️

So I tag... oh, gosh, I’m so late in catching up to all these tag games that I think everyone’s already been tagged. But... @ohwriteiforgot, @everythingirl44, @eowima, @anxiouslynumbme, @loved-the-stars-too-fondly, @acerobbiereyes, @angrylittleintrovert and @a-biochemist-not-a-bird, if any of you guys want to do this! 🤗

[lesbian-percy-weasley]

Chapter 2: A Crown of Real Flowers

Ship: Perciver

Content warning: none

Description: It had been a month since Percival met the strange boy in the woods. He didn’t think he would meet him again. Especially not on the last day of summer. But what he found even more surprising is the gift this boy brought him

AN: So the first chapter of this fic doesn’t show up in the tags for some reason. If you want to read it go to my page or my Ao3 (Gay-Natasha-Saves-The-World) and of course, enjoy!

🌿~🌿~🌿~🌿~🌿~🌿~🌿~🌿~🌿~🌿~🌿~🌿

It had been nearly a month since Percival had met that boy in the woods. Every so often he would cross his mind. When he went back into the clearing in the woods, when he was in the village and spotted a bit of light green fabric, and sometimes even randomly.

He had decided that day that he shall hate the boy but now he was asking himself if he really did. Perhaps the boy just had odd mannerisms. Like Mr. Ficklesworth, the bard from the village near their house. He had some strange customs that seemed to come from nowhere. If he weren’t a faun like Percival he would assume it was cultural differences.

But enough about Mr. FIcklesworth! This isn’t his story. Percival was still going foraging alone every week for his mother. He had made sure he never got distracted as he had before. The last thing he wanted was for his family to think he couldn’t do the simple task of foraging. He always went on a Thursday. He liked the routine of it. Every other day of the week he could be helping his brothers in the field, going into the village, watching his younger siblings but he knew exactly what he was to do on Thursdays.

He’d grab the same things he always did and started his journey in the same forest. He enjoyed the sameness of all of it. It made him feel safe. And today was such a beautiful day out. Charles had told him it would be the last day like this until spring came again so he was going to enjoy every second of it.

The forest was calmer than normal but it didn’t feel unusual. It felt serene and peaceful like all the animals and plants knew it was the last days of summer. Percival wanted nothing more to explore it but he knew he had to stick to the trails and the foraging spots. He didn’t want anyone worrying about him. But this time his mother only wanted him to get berries. Perhaps he would have time to explore just a bit.

Once again, he found himself in the clearing. He knew that blackberries grew wild just on the edge of the clearing. Should be easy enough to get. He took off his cloak and his satchel and went to work picking.

He didn’t particularly enjoy picking blackberries. They were a pain to get for you had to reach into the bush to pick the best ones. That meant getting pricked by the thorns about one hundred times. His hands were already scarred from how much he had done it over the years. But he didn’t whine. I was just a blackberry thorn there are much worse things to be annoyed by.

He had filled up about half of his bucket before he heard a distinct rustling in the trees. He huffed at this. For once he had hoped the wind spirits would leave the forest alone. But here they were causing problems and disturbing the calmness of the day. Percival thought he had ought to be used to them by now, but they filled him with so much rage a simple rustling of leaves could ruin his day.

But he couldn’t let them know they got to him so he continued to pick berries until the basket was full. Surprisingly, there hadn’t been another disturbance in the forest. He smiled peacefully. He looked at the sun and saw it was only about 10 in the afternoon. This was absolutely perfect. Almost too perfect.

He went down to the stream where he met the boy a month ago and sat down. He placed the basket against a tree, making sure the wind couldn’t knock it down. He let the water run across his feet and finally relaxed. But to his dismay, it was soon to be interrupted.

A few minutes after he had started relaxing by the creek, he felt a strange weight on his head. He opened one eye to see an ivy leaf hanging over it. He reached to grab whatever was put on his head. He had assumed it was just something from a tree that blew over onto his head put to his surprise it was a flower crown.

Now he was even more confused. He picked it up from his head to look at it. The flowers alternated between green carnations, green gerbera daisies, purple dahlias, and purple foxglove which were woven onto a bed of ivy. He had seen flower crowns before. The girls in the village had them often to give to boys they liked but they always used wildflowers from the forest. They didn’t look anything like this one.

Whilst he was pondering where this crown could’ve come from, he felt a sudden presence next to him. He cautiously turned his head to see the boy from the month before sitting next to him. Percival was frightened of course. He let out a yelp and tried to get away from him. This attempt only naturally resulted in him falling straight into the creek.

The boy was of course embarrassed by this. He didn’t mean to scare him. He rushed over to help him at once. Percival grabbed the boy's hand and lifted himself out of the creek.

“You should be more careful when greeting people.” Percival took off his now drenched cloak and set it on a log. “I am incredibly sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” “It’s alright but please don’t make a habit out of scaring people.” He sat down in his previous spot.

“I find it quite amusing how I seem to always find you in a quarrel with the creek.” the boy sat down right beside him. “I and the creek get along quite well when you’re not around.” Percival scoffed as he moved wet curls out of his face. “I suppose you’re the one that made the flower crown.” The boy beamed with pride.

“Yes. In fact, I spent all of yesterday in the garden trying to find the perfect flowers for it.” Percival picked it back up again examining it. “So I assume you think these are real flowers as compared to the lowly cornflower.” The boy shrugged at this. “You said you didn’t have money for flowers so I thought I’d give you some.”

He set the crown back down next to his other things. “Well, thank you for the crown.” He smiled at the boy. His attire had changed from the previous encounter. His pants were now a marvelous shade of dark blue instead of the previous light green and he donned a cloak made out of a green tartan. They sat in still and peaceful silence for a while. Percival could feel the sun dry his hair, his skin, and his shirt. It pained him to admit that he enjoyed relaxing with someone compared to relaxing alone.

An hour must've passed before the boy spoke again. “I don’t believe you’ve ever told me your name.” “As if I would be dumb enough to give a random stranger my name.” Percival scoffed. His parents and brothers had told him many times to not give away his name to people. You never know whose intentions are pure and who's trying to manipulate you.

“I did not ask you to give me your name I only asked for you to tell me it so I have something to call you.” The boy said, crossing his arms. “How do I know I can trust you?” “It can be a nickname if you like.” Percival thought about this for a while. It was extremely foolish to tell anyone you barely know your name. If his family knew he was even considering telling it to a boy he met twice in the woods they would most certainly reprimand him.

“If I tell you mine will you tell me yours?” Percival asked, crossing his arms as well. “Deal.” The boy had a huge grin on his face. He let out a huge sigh and said “I can tell you my name is Percy.” He said, extending his hand. “And I can tell you my name is Ollie.” He reached out and shook Percival’s hand.

“Well, I must be getting back home before it gets too late,” Percival said while getting up to gather his things. Luckily his cloak was now dry from the sun. He put it back on and grabbed his satchel and the basket full of berries. He waved goodbye and started walking away. He didn’t get very far before he was stopped.

“Wait!” Oliver yelled causing Percival to turn around. “You forgot your flower crown, Percy.” He said holding it. Percival bent down a little, allowing him to put it on his head. It sat askew but Percival didn’t mind. “There. Pretty flowers for a pretty boy.” He looked up at him with a slight blush. No one had ever called him pretty before.

They stood there for a while just staring at each other before Percival said something. “If you wish to meet with me again, my mum usually sends me foraging on Thursdays. I suspect you can find your way home without me.” The boy nodded in response. “I expect to find you here on Thursday, Percy.” “And I’ll be waiting for you, Ollie.”

They both parted ways. Heading to their respective homes. Percival couldn’t seem to get Oliver’s words out of his mind. ‘Pretty flowers for a pretty boy’. He had to admit that the flowers were a great deal pretty but did Oliver really think he was pretty? But there was no time to dwell on it.

He knew he had to hide the crown before he got home. The last thing he wanted was his family interrogating and lecturing him. He wasn’t very fond of the idea of them finding out about his new friend. He put the crown in his empty satchel and headed the rest of the way home.

Once he got home, he greeted his family, gave the basket of berries to his mother, and hurried off to his room. He opened the satchel and took out the crown. He couldn’t help but admire the beauty of it. It wasn’t just the flowers but the fact that someone made it just for him. Never had he gotten anything that was just for him. He put it into a box under his bed to make sure no one besides him would ever find it. He had decided it was his and his alone.

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 93

[Date: 18/03, 05:45 PM GMT - 18/03, 06:29 PM GMT]

[Prior to the below conversation, Maxwell and the people from the server were discussing how the liquid from the cut-off bud from the previous day appears to be red to Maxwell, yet it had appeared as white in color to Marcus and the others after the bud was cut. The bud was also fairly large, about half the size of Maxwell’s thumb, and may have been one of the calendula marigolds, not the freesias. The flower petals can be around like a normal petal, but they’re still metal. The bud hadn’t wilted]

Maxwell: “so....

whats this about”

|[Little-K1ng: “I wish I hadn’t snapped at fetch like that… maybe when he comes back I can give him a proper apology”

Maxwell: “hm perhaps that would be good

family should get along”]|

Marcus: “.....

..we didn't want to worry you”

Jack the Observer: “that was the spoilered image from yesterday afternoon. Mona decided it would be beneficial not to let you know.

you know. seeing as it was rather uncharacteristic.”

donti (e): “... yea”

Marcus: “...seeing as you had already spoken ender”

Maxwell: “i...i dont remember saying that”

Jack the Observer: “i doubt it was actually you who said it.

much more likely it was some partial incarnation of Page.”

Marcus: “....it didn't sound like you”

Maxwell: “the fuck do you mean it didnt sound like me

I....”

Marcus: “i mean it didn't sound like you, Max”

Maxwell: “why didnt you tell me!”

Marcus: “we didn't want to worry you!”

Maxwell: “want me to worry?! about what! that Im gonna end up back with crown even if I dont wanna be! I already know that!”

donti (e): “heey hey they.. didnt want to worry you

everything else was already stressful..”

Marcus: “...”

Jack the Observer: “donti.

your goody goody nice-talk is not helpful here.”

Marcus: “max”

donti (e): “... alright.”

Marcus: “im sorry”

Maxwell: “.....

look i just

i hate being treated like a child

i mean

Its like the whole circlet argument all over again!”

Marcus: “....the

max?”

Maxwell: “what”

Marcus: “how do you

how do you know about that argument”

Maxwell: “I DONT KNOW OKAY”

Marcus: “max what else do you remember”

Maxwell: “IVE-- ive been remembering random things while forgetting others i cant tell anymore”

Marcus: “......

why didn't you... tell us?

how long”

Maxwell: “I just thought they were dreams or nightmares

i dont know....ever since the trial maybe?”

Marcus: “..

max”

Maxwell: “what...”

Marcus: “i'm sorry”

Maxwell: “FOR WHAT WHY CANT YOU JUST TELL ME”

Marcus: “everything

for everything okay!

i'm sorry we didn't tell you about the voice thing last night

i'm sorry fetch tried to lie about the buds in your hair!

i'm sorry that you and i got into that stupid argument and that we had to leave our family because i wouldnt tell you something!”

Maxwell: “I hate this....why does everyhting think they have to keep things from me”

Marcus: “I'm sorry”

Maxwell: “I aint a god damn kid....i havent been for a while....”

Marcus: “I know that Max

I know”

Maxwell: “.....you....”

Marcus: “....”

Maxwell: “marcus

stand in the light for a sec”

Marcus: “im sorry

what?”

Maxwell: “please please just stand in the sunlight for a moment”

Marcus: “max..?”

Maxwell: “.....I think I know why you've been so tired....”

Marcus: “stress?”

Maxwell: “no...

i...im sorry me getting made probably brought it on im so fucking sorry--”

Marcus: “..max?”

Maxwell: “the leaves”

Marcus: “the what”

Jack the Observer: “huh.

marcus is also growing a wreath.”

Maxwell: “the leaves have sprouted”

disks and the color red |Stars: “thats unfortunate”

Maxwell: “im sorry im sorry im so fucking sorry”

Jack the Observer: “interesting”

LLyr: “max, this isnt your fault”

Marcus: “i...”

donti (e): “heeeyy thats kinda rude guysss”

Marcus: “max why would this be your fault”

LLyr: “there’s no way you could have prevented or made this happen”

Jack the Observer: “[i whisper to dave] i wonder how much it will effect him, considering the circlet did little to nothing”

Maxwell: “but it happened after we started arguing after I upset you im so fucking sorry oh my god”

[donti (e): “heeeyy thats kinda rude guysss”]

LLyr: “thats just how they are :3″

emuhlee: “this isn't very pleasant :(”

donti (e): “yea.”

Marcus: “max it isn't your fault”

Maxwell: “but arent you in pain?!”

Marcus: “um

not..really?”

Jack the Observer: “well. it makes sense that the "happiness wreaths" grow off of negative emotions.”

Maxwell: “......what...”

Marcus: “i didn't even notice it happened”

Maxwell: “you...how--

syd screamed in pain I had headaches for days and even fetch is hurting...”

Marcus: “i dont... i don't know max

i don't have answers”

Jack the Observer: “oh, you're only partially immune”

Marcus: “immune???”

Jack the Observer: “should've guessed – you still lost your memories after all.”

Raeva: “It could be because you've spent much more time with Crown than the rest of them”

Jack the Observer: “the circlet only worked partially. of course this wreath only works partially as well.”

[Jack the Observer: “[i whisper to dave] i wonder how much it will effect him, considering the circlet did little to nothing”]

disks and the color red |Stars: “dunno. i still think he wont go with the rest of them though [he whispers back]”

Marcus: “.........”

Jack the Observer: “if that were the case, the circlets should have less effect on Prince and Baron as well

not to mention Countess.”

Marcus: “....oh that's your assumption...”

donti (e): “... they didnt need the laurels though”

Maxwell: “hm...”

Jack the Observer: “based on historical evidence, i would guess that Crown effects you less, in particular”

Marcus: “max...

max what are you humming?”

donti (e): “uh

Jack the Observer : “if you're taken again, remember morse code :)”

Maxwell: “....what...”

donti (e): “... didnt crown figure out the morse code?”

Marcus: “..hm..hm...”

donti (e): “he used it in an ask of his own?”

Raeva: “Now you're both humming?”

Marcus: “max how do you know that tune?”

Marcus: “you've never...

max?”

Maxwell: “......know that I'm with you the only way that I can.....”

Marcus: “....Until you're in my arms again....”

disks and the color red |Stars: “...interesting”

Maxwell: “.....remember me.....”

Marcus: “.....max”

Maxwell: “.....i dont know....

i cant tell whats my memories and whats....his”

Marcus: “....sometimes I can't either”

Maxwell: “I hate it....it hurts...”

Marcus: “...I'm sorry”

Maxwell: “its not you...I'm....Im happy I met you guys...”

Marcus: “i'm glad i met you too..”

Baroness: “Hello Page and Viscount. :)”

Marcus: “the real you”

Maxwell: “ugh god, fuck off baroness...”

Marcus: “what the fuck are you doing in here”

Maxwell: “we aint in the mood”

Maxwell: “okay wait how the fuck did you get into the god damn house”

Baroness: “I just thought I'd come by and see how things were growing. It looks like we're becoming a family again. :)”

[Maxwell: “okay wait how the fuck did you get into the god damn house”]

Baroness: “Hmm, i think the door was unlocked. Funny that. :)”

Maxwell: “what”

Maxwell: “oh....mona left it unlocked in case fetch came back...”

Marcus: “......”

emuhlee: “.... :(”

Baroness: “So, it looks like you're starting to bloom Viscount. Are you excited? :)”

Marcus: “.......”

Maxwell: “leave him alone you piece of shit

or else ill be the one biting at you”

Marcus: “..max”

Maxwell: “STOP CALLING HIM THAT”

Baroness: “Calling him what? his name? tell me, do you feel more like a Page or a Maxwell right now?”

Maxwell: “maxwell you dumb bitch”

Marcus: “.......”

Baroness: “Alright. I'm sure that will change soon. :)”

Marcus: “Pa- max don't antagonize her, please”

Maxwell: “you piece of shit you do anything to my family [deleted shortly afterwards] friends AND ILL KILL YOU”

donti (e): “heeey maxx chill

we should.. not do anything.. we will regret

haha

hi baroness”

Marcus: “...”

Baroness: “I'm not doing anything.

The bloom will happen and spring will come.

You can't stop the changing of the seasons. :)

donti (e): “very poetic.. thank you”

Baroness: “I'm just here to tend to the flowers. :)”

LLyr: “i mean with that logic winter will come eventually, won’t it?”

Maxwell: “no BUT I CAN SHOVE MY FIST DOWN YOUR THROAT”

Marcus: “Page- Max please stop yelling”

Maxwell: “.....”

donti (e): “hEYyyyYYYYyyyyyyyy heeeyyy everyone caaaallllmmmmm dooownnnn no need to yell”

[Maxwell: “no BUT I CAN SHOVE MY FIST DOWN YOUR THROAT”]

Baroness: “Page, Page, Page. Is that any way to speak to your family?”

Maxwell: “YOU AINT MY FAMILY YOU PIECE OF SHIT”

Void: “for someone so concerned with a happy family baroness is awfully good at sowing discord and unhappiness”

donti (e): “heyy heyy no need for sniping comments”

Marcus: “..not the time for puns, donti”

[Void: “for someone so concerned with a happy family baroness is awfully good at sowing discord and unhappiness”’

Baroness: “Sometimes you have to snip a few weeds for beautiful flowers to grow. :)”

Void: “hm. don't like that.”

[Maxwell: “YOU AINT MY FAMILY YOU PIECE OF SHIT]

Baroness: “:)”

Marcus: “.....”

[purplesurveys]

1175

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it?  My dinner had broccoli and bell peppers in it.

What was your last Facebook notification for?  It was Aliyah replying to our comment thread on one of my posts. There wasn’t anything in her comment that was worth replying to anymore, so I just reverted with a Haha react.

What bands have you seen live? Paramore, Coldplay (not super legally), and One Direction.

Tell me an interesting fact about your mother:  She almost became a flight attendant, but she failed the final screening because of her height. I think the idea of her nearly having a completely different career is very interesting.

What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13?  In my case, probably getting my period. I got my first one when I was barely 10.

What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore?  Chicken curry. I also hateeeeeeeed Dora the Explorer with a passion, but now I find the show hilarious haha.

What are your plans later today? My work sched this week had been so fucking PACKED, that I want to do nothing but catch up on sleep all weekend. But seeing as I’m a proponent of revenge bedtime procrastination, I also highly doubt I’d let myself fall into a nap (Exhibit A: Me currently taking this survey at 2 AM...) If anything, I’ll probably just continue watching BTS In The Soop and finally start on Season 2 of Bon Voyage.

Are you doing anything exciting this weekend?  Well, it’s the weekend already, so...that ^ I will also have to take Cooper to the vet this Sunday.

Who do you talk to the most? Other than my team at work, Angela. I’ve been extra talkative these days because of our now-mutual excessive love for BTS, that I sometimes feel bad that I keep bombarding her with messages.

What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old?  Talk to my friends who are still in college, especially when they update me about the current happenings in UP that I have absolutely no clue about anymore.

Who is your best guy friend(s)?  I don’t have any best guy friends.

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?  Neither; I’m fine with my tannish skin tone.

If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it?  Keep it; I already do.

Have you had an x-ray in the past year? Nah. My last one had been nearly 5 years ago, when I needed to get my back checked for scoliosis.

Do you think your first love still loves you?  No. And that’s okay. :)

What is something that is “going right” in your life?  EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGG I am so so happy with my life right now weeeee. I have the job of my dreams – I’m even working with THE ACTUAL K-POP GROUP SLASH PHENOMENON SLASH ICONS BTS for one of the clients I handle FHKDHGKHGFDKGHDKGH, I have the best and most supportive friends in the world, and I am now starting to grow my collection of BTS merch with my hard-earned money. Everything is going abso-fucking-lutely perfectly, and to think I didn’t think I would make it past 2020.

When did you feel ready to start dating?  Middle of high school.

When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s?  I was play fighting with Cooper earlier tonight, and he got a little bit excited and ended up biting my upper lip quite harder than usual. It stung for a while, but it’s okay now.

Where were you the last time you made out?  I think it was my bedroom.

When was the last time you cried tears of joy? Yesterday.

How do you type your sad smileys?  Just this :(

Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house?  Nope.

What was the last soda you drank?  Probably the Coke I drank at an org event last year, pre-pandemic, out of sheer thirst. There wasn’t any water being served so I just gulped down the soda and tried to ignore the annoying fizziness. I don’t drink soda.

What was the last thing someone made fun of you for?  I was having a video call session with my workmates this afternoon as a way to end the week on a good note, and I recounted my experience of being locked out of the office while I was in the middle of a presentation for a client, and how I managed to get myself back in.

Have you ever had any type of surgery?  Nope.

Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent?  No.

Who was the last person to hit on you?  No one has in a while.

What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to?  A deliverable a client asked me to do. It can wait til Monday.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone?  Maybe straight up admitting to my mom that she can be hurtful sometimes. It’s hard because she never actually processes things like that and they do nothing but vanish into thin air, even though it takes everything in me to be that honest.

What do you put on hot dogs?  Mayonnaise.

Ever fallen in the shower?  Like once, when I was 10 or 11.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about?  Continued from last night. It was probably ‘bitch.’ Based on what I’ve learned from my mom, I put extra effort in particuarly watching what comes out of my mouth, because I know how words stick.

Do you think that things will get better?  I did, and now it has.

Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life?  I think I may have. The story is a little triggering though, so I wouldn’t share it.

What’s your favourite book genre?  Doesn’t really count as a genre but I like auto/biographies.

Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre?  I’ve felt like it, but I’ve never done it.

Do dogs like you?  Yes, at least for 99.5% of my experiences.

Would you say that you project an air of authority?  In certain circles. But there are some groups where I trust others to lead rather than me.

Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool?  Nah, because I’ve never seen one. But even if I did, I think I would be too scared to do it hahaha.

Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body)  One. I use it to wash my entire body already.

Have you ever been to one of the great lakes?  No.

Who do you know that had a baby recently?  The son of one of my old college instructors. I believe she had been born in March because that prof recently posted family photos on Facebook that celebrated the baby’s first monthsary.

Do you like Usher’s songs?  Not in particular.

When was the last time you went to a waterpark?  Not a big fan of these as I find them unhygienic haha. The last time must have been...like anywhere between 12-15 years ago.

Have you ever ridden a train? Just once, and I had to go with Jum because I didn’t want to go alone.

What do you eat your French fries with?  Mayonnaise. If there isn’t any available, I’d want the fries to at least be generously sprinkled with salt; otherwise I’d find it too bland.

Do you have family problems?  Nothing blatant, but I know we are more dysfunctional than how we make it out to be.

What’s the last food you ate that was stale?  Pizza. I got two extra large boxes for my birthday last Wednesday and until now we still have some of it around :((( I ate some slices at around 3 AM earlier and they were tough as fuck to chew, hahaha. Still good, though.

How do you like your grilled cheese?  I don’t have grilled cheese sandwiches often. Surprise me.

What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked?  I don’t cook.

What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid?  I liked watching my cousin play video games; playing outside; and answering my friends’ autograph books (aka my pre-survey days, lol).

Have you ever been close to drowning? Yup but just once. I was swimming and was just about to come up for air when one of my cousins, coming from the bottom of the pool, suddenly started to playfully pull me down. I was nearly out of breath by then and he had a much stronger grip on me, so I struggled for a while and ended up panicking and thrashing around a bit before I was able to wriggle myself free.

Have you ever had a panic attack?  It’s rare that it happens, but when it does it’s really bad and there’s no telling when it would subside.

Do you like doing housework?  Some, and only if I’m in the mood to. If I feel like I have to do it, then I get lazy.

Would you ever get implants?  I considered it before as a teen, back when small-chested girls were still bullied or made fun of on an everyday basis. How fucked up is that? I’m so relieved at how much social media has progressed.

Do you own a robe?  No.

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? I have a younger sister but she’s barely a baby; she’s literally turning 21 this year. Nina.

Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off?  I like crust as long as it’s normal crust or stuffed crust. I can’t stand thin crust.

What was the last song you listened to?  Euphoria - credited to BTS, but it’s a Jungkook solo.

Have any of your family members been to jail?  Not blood relatives, but I know of super extended unrelated family members who’ve been to prison. Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with?  I don’t think so. Sometimes no closure is closure.

Can you remember when you first learned how to read?  I can’t, actually. All I remember is that I suddenly wanted to read everything by the time I was 5 and asked for nothing but storybooks every Christmas.

What event in your life has transformed your personality the most?  College. Gabie also had a very big influence on me during our relationship.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled?  Yes, but it was because it was already decayed.

Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school?  No, but I do elements of it in my work so that works out well for me. I wanted to be an author when I was in grade school, and today I regularly write various materials in my job.

What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into?  I just wanna get reconnected with The Crown again. I was already into it but I had to stop watching for a LONG time, because the show had some personal connections to my ex and so it seemed hard to get into the new season without breaking down lol. Now that I’m doing fine, I feel like it’s a good time to revisit the show.

How would you feel if you were drafted for the military?  Won’t happen here, but it’s the kind of situation where I wouldn’t really have a choice and would have to follow.

What is your favorite Queen song?  I don’t have any.

Do you know how to use any foreign currency? What do you mean, use...? Don’t you just use money to pay?? Hahaha or if you mean convert, then yeah I know how to do that with several currencies – US dollar, Korean won, Euro, Japanese yen, and whatever official name the pound has.

Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you?  Nope.

Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test?  I have not.

When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do?  I usually don’t have plans laid out on weekends these days anymore, so lately it’s all been a matter of winging it and just wanting to make sure that by the end of the day I get to say I made the most out of my free time.

What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl?  The time we did museum hopping + Italian dinner, or the one where we had French dinner + jazz bar.

What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once?  I never do rewatches for movies still in cinemas.

What is the reason you’re still alive?  I was stubborn and wanted to see if life would get better; I didn’t want to leave my dogs behind; I didn’t want to miss out on how potentially great and exciting my life could end up being; I didn’t want to cause and leave an even bigger emotional rift on my family.

I’m so happy I stayed.

Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom?  Yeah. Not the best decision, and I wouldn’t do it again lol.

Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed?  Sometimes, so that it doesn’t look like a bird’s nest when I wake up the next day.

Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.)  I don’t think so. I have definitely imagined it in...other ways, though.

Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it?  Both in the superficial and loaded senses, yeah. 

How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about?  I felt kind of like shit, just because I slept for only 1.5 hours – my body automatically wakes me up by a certain time, no matter what time I fell asleep. And also because my back and shoulder muscles were killing me with how sore they felt.

Do you still tell your parents that you love them?  I show it, but I don’t say it. I’m pretty stingy when it comes to that phrase.

Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with?  Yes? It shouldn’t be limited to people you’re dating? I express it to Anj and Andi all the time.

Have you ever been threatened before?  Sure.

Would you date someone with a physical disability?  Yes.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you?  Purely guessing, it’s likely. I’m not updated about her life anymore, though; life has been going on as if she never existed.

The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it?  I’ve never had it dyed.

Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid?  I went out by myself, so I paid.

Do you save at least 15 percent of your income?  Yeah. I had a very good saving streak in which I was able to save anywhere around 50-60% every month...and thennnn I became a fan of BTS early this month LOOOOOL so now I’m back to like square three when it comes to my savings haha. Like I still know my limits and when to fucking stop taking out money from my bank account, but I’ve been spending dramatically more than I have been in the last few months.

Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits?  I used to go much more regularly, to the point where it was a part of my daily routine. Now I go at least once a month. I usually check out the Ask Reddit (for anecdotes), Today I Learned (for trivia), and GMM subreddits. Sometimes I’ll get on the Squared Circle subreddit as well to be updated on wrestling.

Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little?  Many times as a flower girl, yeah.

Are your parents in good health?  Fortunately, yes.

Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative?  Nope.

Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason?  Not that I know of.

Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like?  I don’t have pajama sets since I find them too warm.

Do you have any interesting pillow cases?  Eh, I don’t think so.

If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be?  Shoulder muscles or my lower back.

Are you more afraid of spiders or bees?  Bees.

Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like?  No.

Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you?  Native American.

[imaginesandideas]

Sorry?

okay it’s so random, but this is a very short (1.8k worth of words) idea that came to me all of sudden, so - I guess it’s my first Diego fic aye? 🎉

WARNINGS: swearing, bits of ANGST and SMUT (underage please scroll down past this)

~~~~~

Living in the centre has its moments. Like shops and bus stops nearby, or great apartments. But there any days when you’d rather kill every single one of your nosy neighbours, noisy people on the street and everyone else who comes in your way.

Why? Cause you’ve had a long, tiring day and nothing went as planned, and all you wanted to do was to have a nice long shower, maybe eat some leftovers and go straight to bed to get some well deserved rest.

But no.

Apparently the universe and someone banging at your door at 3am were having other plans.

So you drag your already warmed up, limb body from the bed, and down the hall slowly opening your reddened eyes and cursing under your breath.

“Good fucking riddance! What kind of a blabbering asshole wakes up people in the middle of the goddamn night for no bloody reason!”

The door swings open and you’re met with the most pitiful countenance one could ever expect.

No, not a box of cute puppies but a whole 6 feet of shameless discourtesy. And missed calls.

“Well, well-“

“I’ll explain!”

“- Diego fucking Hargreeves kneeling at my doorstep at dawn. Unexpected, uninvited-“

“_____ please, quiet love. You’re alarm the neighbours.”

“ - AND, dares to give me instructions on what I am supposed to do.”

Your face is the epitome of resignation and anger, a perfectly sour mix of those two. Normally you’d just let him in, check if he’s injured and go back to bed with his arms wrapped safely around your curled up form. But it’s not one of those days.

“What the fuck do you want...” You speak up quieter now, but with just as much of exhaustion in your voice. Your arms crossed over your chest.

“You?”

“Cut the bullshit Hargreeves.”

“I’m sorry okay? If only you’d know you’d understand.” He’s also visibly tired but you can’t let this one slip out.

“Then tell me!”

“Here?” His eyebrows rise in the darkness of the hall as he gestures around himself.

“Yeah, could be here.”

“Can I at least come in?”

You take a deep breath before nodding and stepping back inside to let him pass. As the door closes you can feel his warm hands roaming up your sides but you shimmy out of his grasp scrunching up your nose.

“You smell.”

“Well yeah, I’ve been locked up for 3 days. That’s why I didn’t come earlier.” Your face twists in shock at his words. He’s visibly broken but he still tries to cover the whole story with guilt so you don’t ask further questions. And you just give up.

It’s way too late to continue any of this and you really just wanted to get those extra hours of sleep before your afternoon shift.

You bring your hands to your face to rub circles around your sleep deprived eyes and sigh loudly.

“Never mind. Clean yourself up, I’m going back to sleep.” You exclaim before heading back in direction of your bedroom. He doesn’t move though and you’re too sleepy to notice.

“Love you.” He calls after you, but you wave him off.

Once your body hits the mattress you’re gone. Your limbs mindlessly tangle themselves in the cold sheets, providing a much needed coverage.

When Diego finally turns the water off you’re long asleep. After grabbing a towel he comes to you, but stops mid-step at the door. Your chest is heaving peacefully, lips are slightly parted.

Somehow, in all of this madness, he found that fragile piece of happiness he wasn’t sure he was deserving of. It was you all along, and it took him so much time to realise that. So much that he was ashamed of himself.

Afraid that maybe his presence is making your life even more difficult. But maybe he’ll be able to repay you one day. One day.

But for now it’s still the night, even if the sun is already brightening up the sky, making it appear both orange and grey.

Throwing on a tshirt he climbs up to your side, curling around your sleeping form protectively. He watches your brows as they knit together in a dreamy haze. How your lashes flutter lightly, how the veins on your neck reappear with every intake of air, how your hair frames your face. Soon street lamps turn off and the sun is about to rise. But both of you breathe steadily together, snuggled, safe.

~~~~~

Some noise almost wakes you up around 10am but your brain has more sleeping on its mind. You can’t really protest, you’ve been up all yesterday and that idiot boyfriend of yours had you woken up in the middle of your blissful, undisturbed rest.

Your head and eyes are still heavy with sleep. Still half awake you keep your eyes closed, only covering your face with your arms for another half an hour. Chest raises, lungs are filling with fresh morning air, only you don’t remember leaving your window open.

Warmth spreads from your fingertips to your feet. Until it’s too much and you squirm, tossing and turning on your back before you abruptly come back to your senses.

“Di-Diego?” You stir sitting up on your elbows before your voice turns into a moan. From beneath your lashes you notice the growing smirk forming on his clearly occupied lips. He’s so pleased with himself he doesn’t even bother to answer. His mouth gently sucks on your clit, tongue swipes across your folds in a sweet yet torturously slow manner.

Classic Diego. But no, you can’t even think about it right now, he’s too good at it. Way too good for your liking. He nips, licks, gently bites on your thighs in the meantime leaving blooming, dark marks. You exhale another loud moan which only fuels his movements. It’s slow and sensual yet intense, enough to strike a match within you. And it burns, spreads from your core to your head and wakes all of your senses. You sit up completely and he pulls your legs up, over his shoulders, devouring deeper. Feasting on you.

“Uhh, Di, what’s gotten into you?” He pulls back with exaggerated pop, grinning.

“You.”

You roll your eyes playfully and in a blink of an eye he’s back at it again, sucking on your sensitive nub with newfound vigour. Your head falls back on your shoulders, eyes follow rolling back into your skull. His hair is soft underneath your fingertips when you reach out to tug at the roots encouragingly and he hums sending vibrations through your body. You’re trembling, losing your breath. Soon enough he notices that and adds fingers to stimulate your folds even more as his lips feverishly continue attack on your clit.

And like a bolt of lightning you unravel in front of his eyes, your shoulders tense just for a moment before relaxing as shocks of pleasure take over you. It feels like you’re about to sink into sheets, pillows and everything else. And it’s too much, your arms almost give out threatening to make you collapse.

Your fingers dig into the hair on his scalp and you gently pull him away, your eyes finally locking for longer than few seconds. Talking seems unnecessary so you shift to bring his lips close to your own. He takes the matter into his own hands yet again and climbs up over you to kiss you deeply. How could possibly not love that perfect mouth of his. You can smell yourself on him just as intensely as the soap on his soft skin. It feels so good it might as well be a dream, but it’s not and you pull away breathless.

“You need to shower.”

“Again?!” He whines in a raised voice and you laugh at how petty he looks like this. Like a disappointed puppy.

“Di, you smell like my cum baby. Don’t want you running on the streets smelling like my pussy.”

Your words cause his pout to turn into a toothy grin.

“Maybe I don’t mind smelling like my favourite pussy.” He whispers with that cheeky smirk of his before leaning down to plant a kiss to your sternum.

Smooth fucker.

“Still doesn’t explain this kind of ‘good morning’.” You lower your voice. “... after how harsh I’ve been last night. I didn’t mean that.”

“I know. But I’ve been a dick several times too, so I guess we’re even. Besides, I wanted to make it up to you. And that prison cell was cold and lonely y’know...” Your laughter fills the room and he smiles even wider, only semi-offended. “I mean it! I missed you.”

“You missed my ass, that’s what it is.”

“I missed those too.” He says squeezing your breasts before biting on your nipple through your shirt making you squeal. “And I love to pleasure my lady.” He adds and you playfully roll your eyes, though you know he’s being genuine.

Since you two got together he made his mission to prove you how incredible you are. In a way, he crowned you his queen. And even if that queen sometimes had to patch him up late at night, he still made sure to pay her back later with everything he could. In words and actions.

You reach up to kiss his cheek as your fingers stroke the skin on his cheek and temple.

“I love you Di. Even if you sneak up on me in the middle of the night like a fucking creep.”

“Love you too babygirl.”

You caress his cheek lovingly and he can’t help but get lost in your eyes over and over again. As if the world did not exist. Only you. Together.

“I also love that perfect mouth of yours.” You tease and he immediately catches it. Two could play that game of constant innuendos.

“Is that so? Well, I love your pretty lips too.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-hm. Couldn’t stop thinking about them in that cell. And your pretty cu-”

“Oookay, that’s enough for now! First - breakfast.” You forcefully roll him off you before quickly jumping on your feet in direction of the kitchen, fixing your underwear in the process and leaving a chuckling mess of a human behind you. You could get used to having that laugh everyday in your bedroom. And such enjoyable mornings. And-

“I’m not hungry though.” He yells after once he catches his breath. You peek out the open door and he’s seated in the middle of the mattress, hands behind his head leaning on the headboard, all spread out and comfy.

“Is that so?”

“I mean, I’ve already eaten, so I’d much rather burn some more calories if you’re into exercising before breakfast.” He says wiggling his eyebrows at you. Oh he’s really good at teasing. But you’re in no way complaining. And mornings with Diego could just become your favourite morning routine...

[fulltimeviking]

Almost (Sweet Music)

Summary ~ Hiccup and Astrid have their first proper date at Berk’s Ostara celebrations and have their first dance together. Takes place at Spring time a year after the first movie, and they’re both recently turned 16. This is inspired by a Hozier song, i.e. THE young pining hiccstrid anthem. i said what i said

Ao3 Link

I’m not joking when I say I’ve had this fic idea since last year. I just KNEW the second I listened to this song I was like ‘oh yes... young hiccstrid, the pining, the yearning, aw yiss’ and started writing it.... and never finished it. THEN I decided I’d pick it up again this year and post it as a cute little fluffy Easter themed fic, but only just remembered yesterday afternoon and now,,,, here we are lmao. 

I’ve not really got anything else to say it was tooth rotting fluff that I was going for, so you’ve been warned aha - but also if things read a little ~off~ then it’s because I’ve not written fic in a year and I’m rusty af 🤷🏻‍♀️I hope you enjoy it anyway! 

Hiccup & Toothless sat off to the side of the Ostara celebrations. Toothless laid with his head on a log, feasting happily on a basket of cod, and Hiccup sat next to him with a small seasonal dish of rabbit on his lap, so far untouched, and a half tankard of mead, much more touched. The pair watched the Vikings drink, sing, and dance; the bonfire in the middle of the celebrations burning bright and dramatically so much so that Hiccup could almost feel the heat on his face from where he sat. Though he wasn’t so much as watching as thinking, maybe too much.

Since the cold season had started to slowly disappear (as much as it could on Berk anyway) Astrid and him had made a habit of flying together on the odd day. Nothing crazy, just dumb races and training together. He’d been impressed with how much she’d already learnt when he’d been out for the two weeks following his fight with the red death last year; in no time she and Stormfly were zipping across the village and keeping pace with the only Night Fury on the island that most would agree was a boast worthy feat. 

“We’ll have you beat getting around this island in no time” she’d teased at the time as they sat in the great hall, smiling up at her dragon, her braid fell over her shoulder when she reached up to scratch the nadder’s neck. Hiccup blinked and reminded himself to speak.

“Well I think we’ve got more where that came from” he teased back and Toothless nuzzled into his side, gaining him a pat on his head

At that she smirked at the dragon and cocked an eyebrow “oh really?”

“Yeah… I could show you, actually” he’d said, eagerness barely hiding itself “you and stormfly fly up to the sea stacks in the morning, and we’ll meet you there?” 

Astrid looked from him to her dragon in consideration “sure” she spoke nonchalantly and stroked her dragons nose “don’t be surprised if you’ve got a thing or too to learn from us either” Hiccup just smiled “I’m looking forward to it”

From that point on it turned to routine. Hiccup would always start with circuits around the sea stacks when he and Toothless flew and Astrid knew where to find him. On the morning of Ostara they’d showed up before him, and they zipped between the stacks just short off the coast of Berk for what felt like forever. Hiccup wouldn’t have minded if it had been, and wondered if Astrid wouldn’t have either. He watched as they settled on top of the stacks eventually, and Astrid dismounted off Stormfly, scratching her lovingly on her crown. 

“Nice one girl” she cooed “getting faster huh?” and got a squawk in response. Hiccup got off of Toothless and wiped his hands discreetly on the side of his tunic. His palms were sweating and it wasn’t from holding onto the saddle as they flew. 

“When do you want to go back?” Astrid asked “your dad will want you today for the party won’t he?” 

“He’ll want me out of the way” he said and Astrid pulled a face “training dragons doesn’t make you good at setting up parties” he held his hands up. Stoick had asked him for help, originally, but when he told his dad he had other plans he (rather embarrassingly) encouraged him to go off and do those. 

“But… I wouldn’t mind going back, now or later” he said “...with you maybe?”

They had gotten closer since that time last year, with that Snoggletog past even more so, to a point where he felt secure that his affections were being returned - in the form of sudden kisses, shoulder punches and friendly teasing. That being said, they’d yet to go on a real date. The year before, his first invite to the sea stacks was supposed to be a date, but he chickened out of calling it that. She’d left the hall and he immediately cursed at himself “Dumbass” he’d muttered, and earned a humoured warble from the night fury. Whenever they met up for any other reason it wasn’t a date either, more just... keeping company - it was always nice to be in her company. After so many years of pining from afar, he could stand and be present with her, he could speak to her, and she would speak back, not as the grand Hofferson warrior he had thought her to be either. Just as Astrid. Not so long ago that would have been all he could’ve asked for, but with every shoulder graze, brushing of hands and dumb dragon race, he found he wanted more. Nothing much, just to dance with her and have it feel normal, on a holiday like Ostara it made sense too. He hadn’t any reason not to ask her. 

Hiccup eyed her a little warily when she didn’t answer him straight away, unusually quiet. She kept her eyes on her dragon, as a smile rose on her lips “you’re asking me out?” 

“...yes” 

“Hm” she sounded amused “I figured we were already going”

“Yeah- me too, kind of” he reasoned poorly “I knew we’d probably... go together, but I don’t know… I figured I’d ask you this time”

Astrid turned from Stormfly to Hiccup and regarded him, her expression was teasing but somewhat touched.

“I’ll see you there” 

***

Astrid was dressed as normal minus her pauldrons. Her hair was still worn in a braid, but not as usual. It was looser, with more blonde strands hanging loose and wavy around her face. What was most eye catching though was the dozens of tiny white flowers threaded through her flaxen hair from around her fringe to its ends. It wasn’t unusual for the girls and women to wear flowers for Ostara. It hadn’t been the first time Astrid had either, Hiccup knew that for a fact - she’d caught his eye on Ostara more so than any other day for as many years as he could remember. Looking at her now made him hold his breath. 

He stood up from his seat with the intention of walking over but found himself stuck and admiring from afar. He’d ditched the fur waistcoat earlier, the bonfire had been enough to keep warm, but looking over at her he suddenly felt vulnerable and he wrapped an arm over himself. It was hard to remember that he wasn’t invisible in these crowds anymore, Astrid peered over and around the countless vikings till her eyes locked on the scrawny boy off to the side of the commotion, looking pink in the face and bewildered like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. Toothless warbled and smacked his rider on the back with his tail. Hiccup looked back at him and said something Astrid couldn’t hear, but the look on the two of their faces made her snort a little anyway. 

Considering the holiday, Astrid had had mead too. The taste still lingered in her mouth, and made her body feel warm. She felt her stomach do a tiny flip when the chief's son waved low as she walked over. Normally a feeling she’d ignore out of embarrassment was embraced instead, and she walked up to him confidently with a flush of pink spreading across her own cheeks.

“Hi”

“You look beautiful” he said first, and blinked as he shook his head slightly “and hi”

Astrid she squinted and leant up close in his face, so close he subconsciously thanked Odin he hadn’t actually eaten that rabbit from earlier. She smirked at the growing flush on his own face that she knew had to be more than just nerves. 

“You’re squiffy” she laughed. He absolutely was, “barely” he hiccuped. “Sure” her words were somewhat slurred, not so she sounded drunk, but enough that it was noticeable to him. Tipsy. Hiccup looked from where they stood to the centre of the plaza. The fire in the middle had significantly dimmed compared to when the celebrations began, but the music had grown louder. 

“Dance with me” he spoke without thinking, maybe the mead making him a little more bold. He looked at her face and locked eyes with her for a moment, her blue eyes were glassy from the mead, but regarded him in a way he couldn’t explain with words. He held out a hand. “Will you dance with me?” he asked again, properly. The small sigh of relief that escaped him when she accepted his hand felt like a dead weight lifted “We need to have a talk” she started “about asking me such stupid questions” a smirk spread across her lips as dragged him into the centre to join the others, a big stupid grin grew on his own face.

“Yes m’lady” 

***

He hadn’t had much experience with dancing, not to mention the music playing was extra loud to his drunken ears and he didn’t know where to start. Astrid took a hold of both his hands and dragged him along, pulling him this way and that, him following her and trying to keep up. This was a worry of his before, but her laugh and joyful looking face made him care less. He admired the girl in front of him, head empty of previous anxieties and most thoughts, and caught up with her in the fast strides of their dance. Hiccup and Astrid spun and stumbled around the floor together, laughing and clinging onto each other's arms so as not to slip from their awkward embrace. They were supposed to be swapping partners, but neither would allow the other to move too far away so anyone else could get the chance. 

They continued to do their own thing, close to the crowd but half the world away at the same time, moving with each other to the ruckus. They spun around for the hundredth time, and Hiccup kept a tight hold of her hand as he took a berth backwards and turned her under a few times too many. She stumbled on a turn and doubled over to laugh into her hand, barely having enough time to compose herself before he pulled her back to him, where they bumped together and carried on moving. The time that passed felt like forever in a few minutes, and before they knew it the purple and blue hues of twilight above them had turned pitch black. Hiccup didn’t mind, and Astrid didn’t either.

They carried on their capering till the bonfire in the centre started to die down, vikings started to dissipate from the centre and move to swig mead at the sides. The songs calmed, and the  young vikings slowed to sway to sweet music playing in the dark of the celebrations. It didn’t feel like the most natural or normal thing at all, he realised as she stepped closer and stood nose to nose, their faces barely inches apart. He realised: it felt like a bit of a dream. 

The two of them turned gently, still drunkenly giggling and laughing like children at nothing in particular, their faces away from the light of the dwindling fire. Astrid turned her head and kissed him, so gently it was almost more surprising than when she grabbed his tunic and dragged him for one. He didn’t let that throw him off, and kissed her back as they moved quietly. Astrid pulled away, and sighed as she laid her head on his shoulder. He tensed a bit, hoping her closeness wouldn’t give away just how fast his heart was beating, and wondered if it was just him, or the drum of hers he felt too. “Alright?” she asked as he straightened himself up, barely a whisper. 

He didn’t know where to start, he was more than alright. He was sure he was in love. “yeah” He said instead, breathlessly, and they swayed till the last note was played. 

[dansnaturepictures]

3/1/21-Thrushes, finches, deers and more on a walk in the Blackwater area of the New Forest: 10 different photos to those tweeted tonight 

We walked here this afternoon and managed a very pleasant nine more bird year ticks and two additions to my mammal year list on a very beautiful looking woodland walk with some sun coming out and heading down nicely as the day went on I liked noticing lots of nice and fairly green still especially bits of vegetation around today, and one more year tick as we saw an impressive sized group of Rooks on the way back by Whitefield Moor in the New Forest where we often see them on the vast grass with this bird’s frequent partner the Jackdaws. The ticks at Blackwater were a nice mixture of species I am used to seeing here and other woodland ones I may was not. It did feel like quite a lot of year ticks for this location usually a good one for a few specific species (but brilliant ones) in fairness to it so this top notch day today was a great surprise. I think a reason for that is it was our first solely woodland walk of the year so it was a nice change of habitats to the last few days and allowed me to see so many different species. So other than ones seen on my Lakeside walk, other time out and at home over this weekend the species were ones I had not yet had the chance to see this year so maybe we noticed more in a way which was very nice. Numbers wise it took my year list to 77, over three quarters of the way to 100 birds seen I will take that and be pleased with in any year especially this one! But nicely there is a lot of species to aim for still too. This is still level with how many birds I had seen at this stage last year it was level yesterday and I got 10 year ticks a year ago today too which was a nice parallel on a fairly similar New Forest walk this day in 2020. 

I took the first three pictures in this photoset of nice views on this walk today. The first year tick we got today as we walked into a field area with nice tall trees the area shown in the fourth picture in this photoset was a massive Raven at the top of a bare tree, always a special New Forest bird to see I find and one that excites me always but is especially great to see early in the New Year in my experience and something I have done so much this year. It caused a temporary upset as it often does in opening days of a year beating the commoner Rook onto my year list until I saw those later in the day. I have seen every crow I can/normally see locally this year already with six species which I am pleased with. Soon after we enjoyed the unique sight at this location of a group of Meadow Pipits on the ground our first of the year. 

Then the walk came alive in this wood edged field area and overlooking another vast field which I took the fourth and fifth pictures in this photoset of. First we were thrilled to spot a group of Red Deer stags scuttling away into the trees. A magnificent sight. I love seeing Red Deers they are such beautiful animals and one of my favourite mammals. It was a really good view of them. It was the earliest I had ever seen one in a year by a very long way, we very often see them in the autumn. We had seen them in this general area in October its a good one for them so being able to see them here today really gave me a feeling that I am seeing them regularly in local areas for us now which is something so precious. A brilliant wildlife moment today and an early favourite one in my wildlife year alongside the incredible bird moments I have already had. And as we were looking over the extensive field we were happy to see the more usual in the New Forest group of Fallow Deers making their way across. Always an important mammal sighting in years and one I look forward to in the as I was absolutely reminded today how wild and precious the New Forest is, it was a view of beautiful Fallow Deers to take my year list of mammals to three after Rabbit on Friday with two of my favourite mammals seen already which is great. 

In the extensive field before the fallows we had an epic thrush fest. Joining the Blackbirds we saw so many of today and this year already, and Song Thrush we saw on New Year’s Day and on the way here today we saw our first Mistle Thrushes, Fieldfares and Redwings of the year. A really smashing set of beautiful birds to see. All very important ones to see in my year and key targets for sure. I had never had anything like this as the year tick floodgates opened a bit today to see three thrush species in a row like that, it felt amazing showing what great variety there is in the New Forest for birds. Fieldfare like Great Northern Diver at Hill Head yesterday is a bird we first ever saw in the Blackwater area in the New Forest but we did not see them again there since so this made a really interesting theme to my opening days of 2021. Mistle Thrush a regular New Forest year tick was a tick on our first Blackwater visit on 9th January two years ago. 

As we walked on, I managed to take the sixth, seventh and eighth pictures in this photoset of views and we got the scrumptious sightings of three Bullfinches including two lovely males, and a tenth of my favourite birds seen this year already which I am thrilled with after three days in the form of a lovely Great Spotted Woodpecker we got nice and close to on a tree. 

We made it to the famous arboretum after a beautiful forest walk, I felt very much embraced by the space and wilderness of being out walking today which I truly made the most of and there we were delighted to see its star and what we first discovered this place for in 2008, as an exquisite Hawfinch sat proudly at the top of a tree. I got the record shot as well as one other I tweeted in the ninth picture in this photoset of this bird. I was so excited to see this bird, always one of the best to see every year and this place always comes up trumps in terms of seeing them. It still always feels a relief to see a bird so rare really for another year though and as I got so used to saying in 2020 with what happened in the world and I must keep saying for now in 2021 especially this year. An amazing few minutes spent with an iconic bird species and one of the jewels in the wild and biodiverse New Forest’s crown. This was my earliest ever Hawfinch sighting in a year it is always fantastic in a New Year when you can see a real top bird like this within the first few days so I did feel very lucky. It was a first for me seeing them and the similarly sounding Bullfinch on the same day I think Blackwater is so food for the latter too now I have started amazingly for finches this year with Chaffinch, Goldfinch, Greenfinch and Siskin strong memories from the early days of the year too. 

As well as another Mistle Thrush high in a tree and another Robin to get very close to this year so far after Lakeside Country Park on Friday in the arboretum as we lost the light which I took the tenth and final picture in this photoset of, we were thrilled to spot our first Nuthatch of 2021 another great one to see. It was the first time since 2015 I did not tick this species at Denny Wood in the New Forest. Great Spotted Woodpecker and Redwing I have similar records for, the last time I got them as a year tick at somewhere other than either our very local country park Lakeside or Denny Wood was six years ago. So this was a really interesting point for my records. 

A brilliant ending to another smashing day for me. I know its a tough world to live in right now as I head into what I am sure will be a week off work approaching my birthday towards the end of it like no other, I wish you all well. Stay safe, and try to enjoy the solace of nature where you can. Its good that there is a lot of brilliant natural history television on currently with David Attenborough’s ‘A Perfect Planet’ that I enjoyed very much on BBC One tonight and BBC Two bringing us Gordon Buchanan’s ‘Cheetah Family & Me’ this week after some great bits of inspiring natural history TV over Christmas also, with further restrictions to increase time inside likely. 

Wildlife Sightings Summary: My first of one of my favourite birds the Great Spotted Woodpecker this year, my first Raven, Meadow Pipit, Mistle Thrush, Fieldfare, Redwing, Bullfinch, Hawfinch, Nuthatch and Rook of the year, my first of two of my favourite mammals the Red Deer and Fallow Deer this year, another two of my favourite birds the Jay and Buzzard, Carrion Crow, Jackdaw, Woodpigeon, Song Thrush, Blackbird and Robin.

[ilguna]

Whist - Chapter Three

summary: you can’t protect her forever.

Word Count; 6.2k

Warnings; swearing

NOTES: not a finnick odair x reader. it’s a ‘what if’ series

–

“Today is your first day with the other tributes.” you fix Alyssum’s hair, and readjust Rigg’s clothing, “Make an impression.”

“The two of you may show off one important skill each.” Finnick says, “One thing that’ll stand you out to the gamemakers and make the other tributes want to be allies.”

“We’ll talk about how we’ll wow the gamemakers during the private session, later. I promise that if you use your good skill today, it won’t be a loss. The private session is typically for anything you want to keep a surprise from the other tributes.” you back up.

“Try out stations you don’t know anything about. This is your time to learn anything that you don’t have a clue about, or you’re shaky on. It’s a fantastic opportunity.”

The two of them nod, and after a few more pointers that Rigg probably won’t use, he’s the first to leave the apartment. Alyssum is a different story, she waits for you to tell her to go.

“Don’t psych yourself out today, okay? What you did yesterday is exactly what we’re looking for. Confident, smart. If you sound older and show them that you can fight, they’re going to want you.” you cup her face, “But do not stay with them the entire time. Go around and meet the other tributes too. Don’t stick with Rigg, let him do his own thing.”

“Right.” she nods, you let go of her face, standing up again.

“I love you.”

“Love you too, (Y/n).” she smiles, “I can go now?”

“Yeah. Make your skill count.”

“I will.” she goes down the steps, and Elysia trails after her loosely to show her the floor. She’ll only take the elevator down, and then she’ll go see the stylists.

Now it’s just you and Finnick.

“What’re you thinking?” Finnick asks, you look at him.

“I think we need to pay Haymitch a visit.”

The two of you spend the afternoon getting ready to leave. You take a bet that Haymitch is probably somewhere in the betting room, along with the other mentors. But just in case, you’ll take an elevator to the apartment and hope that he’s there first.

When Finnick’s gathered his bearings, both of you get to the apartment. Finnick knocks on the door, and you flip through the notepad, staring at the plans for today.

Talk to Haymitch, go see the betting room, then down to the stylists to help them on a few things. To tweak and make them to the tributes likings. After that, the entire day is up to you and Finnick to figure out a way to get Alyssum and Rigg’s scores to stand out.

“Could teach Alyssum a trick.”

“Alright, then what would we do for Rigg?” you ask, knocking on the door again.

“Have him make a hook or something. He said he was pretty good at that.”

You squint at Finnick, “We want them to stand out.”

“(Y/n), he doesn’t have the same training that Alyssum does. The kid barely knows how to hold a plastic sword correctly. He’s--”

Before Finnick can say the word ‘hopeless’ the door swings open to reveal Haymitch. He’s dressed fairly nice, a little hunched over. When he sees that it’s you two, he straightens up considerably.

“Odairs.”

You roll your eyes, “Abernathy.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asks.

You’re a little surprised to see that he doesn’t have his flask in hand. Normally it’s always right there, even the cap is unscrewed. You bet that it’s on the inside of his blazer, always within an arm's reach.

“Just curious about your tributes.” you give him a nice smile, slipping your foot inside of the apartment. Just in case he does try to shut the door, it won’t be that easy, “Quite the show yesterday.”

“The stylists' idea. Wanted something eye-catching, different.” Haymitch notices your foot, and after a long look at it, he looks back at you, “Here to steal my sponsors?”

“No, I’d like to negotiate something, though.” 

Haymitch squints.

Finnick picks it up now, “We’re allowing Alyssum to make allies on her own, but if she does settle on Katniss, are you willing to work with us?”

“Doesn’t look like I have a choice.”

You slide your foot out of the way, crossing your ankles, “Just wanted you to hear our pitch, is all.”

“Katniss is a hard one to work with. Aly would have a better chance if she talked to Peeta.” 

“We’re not after Peeta.” Finnick says, “We want Katniss for a reason.”

“Her sister, right? You think she’ll show the same emotion for your sister?” Haymitch makes a face, “Fine, whatever. I can’t guarantee anything.”

“We just wanted something to fall back on, is all.” you stand up straighter, “See you later, Haymitch.”

You and Finnick go down to the betting area next. It’s a simple task, talking to the sponsors that are loyal every year. And since it’s only a couple of people, the whole task is over before you know it. Then, you’re heading to see the stylists, prep teams and Elysia.

There, you spend the rest of the evening messing with everyone. Laurel has decided that she’s going to play off of the princess idea, and give Alyssum a dress that stands out, very puffy. It might just consume her when she sits down for her interview.

Rigg will be given a simple blue suit that vaguely resembles the one he wore for the tribute parade. There’s not really much that the stylists can do for the male tributes. A suit is expected, and so that’s what’s given. Plus, what else would you give?

Right when you’re done with helping Beth with this crown, you have to go and get the kids. You thank them all for their company, and just like that you’ve left with Finnick. On the way to the room, Finnick holds your hand tightly. 

“While you were in the shower, Reed called.” Finnick says.

You look at him, “Why?”

“Mox can’t bring himself to get out of bed. The peacekeepers have visited the house two times already, wanting him to watch with everyone else. Reed keeps telling them that Mox is sick but neither of them can provide proof.” Finnick shakes his head.

Poor Mox. And Poor Reed, too. Mox wasn’t nearly this hopeless when you left, but then again, you were fifteen. You had eight years rather than just a measly five years beneath your belt. You also didn’t have a couple of mean-looking career tributes to worry about. 

They really don’t make the tributes like they used to. Back when you and Finnick won, they were fairly manipulable. They were easy to shape and form, and they weren’t nearly as solidified as they are now. Hell, Finnick was able to get you in, and then you were able to get Thyme in.

It was definitely more people than they had wanted, and yet they didn’t care at the time. As long as it made themselves look better, stronger, more desirable.

Now, they just want the glory of the win. And to get to that point, they have to be ruthless. They have to show the Capitol citizens a show they’ll never forget.

So, every year it’s just a continuation of it. All of them are trying to beat each other. One up each other, and when they do it, the next round is screwed. 

It makes it hard to mentor.

Anyway, Mox has lost hope. And you feel bad for Reed because he has to put up with it. He has to act strong for Mox, but you know he’s tired of it. Although, you can imagine that the both of them are pretty guilty, especially since you’re the one that’s getting her ready to send her off.

“Better keep that to ourselves.” you give Finnick a smile, “Not tell Alyssum, so we can keep her mind on track.”

He nods, he understands.

You and Finnick make it to the door right on time to see Alyssum skipping out of the training center, a huge smile on her face. Rigg is nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Rigg?”

“Left early, said he didn’t feel good.” she says, tucking some hair behind her ear, “Just me the entire time, wasn’t too bad.”

You hold the elevator for Alyssum, making sure Finnick doesn’t head inside. For a second, Alyssum is confused, until Glimmer and Marvel are sliding past to get inside. You give Alyssum a wink, because this was your plan all along.

Cato and Clove come around too, you give the five of them a smile, “I’ll see you later, Alyssum. I’ve got to talk to your sponsors.”

You let go of the door, watching as the steel doors closed. And as soon as they do, you brush off your hands, turning to look at Finnick. He’s got a grin on his face, shaking his head at you, “Dirty, dirty.”

“Gotta cheat to get ahead. Wanna take the stairs?”

“Do we have much of a choice?” he asks, and the two of you slip into the fire escape staircase.

When you finally do get back to the apartment, Alyssum has a giant smile on her face, “They offered an alliance!” she heads towards you, arms out for a hug. You pick her up, spinning her around, “I told them I’d think about it and tell them in a couple of days!”

You press a kiss to Alyssum’s forehead, squeezing her tighter.

The next two days followed as the first training day did. You got up, gave your tributes a few pointers on how they should do things, and then they were off. You didn’t visit Haymitch again, but instead saw him in the betting area. You broke the news that he wouldn’t have to worry about an alliance, and he didn’t really seem to care.

After the betting area, came the time with the stylists. The dress has really come along, and today will be the finishing touches. Adding the accessories that they think would go with it, tweaking the size and whether or not it’ll fit.

You stopped picking the kids up from the training center after the first day, especially since Alyssum said yes to the alliance. She needs to get to know the careers on her own. But you’ve given her a few pointers on how she might back a cozy place in their mind, so they might even feel bad if they kill her.

She’s getting along well with Glimmer and Marvel so far, and from what you heard yesterday, Clove is beginning to come around faster than Cato is. It’s a little worrying, especially since it seems that history is repeating itself. But Alyssum said what you told yourself when you first saw the District Two tributes; they’re a lot meaner than they’ve been the previous years. 

It’s only natural.

Now, today is the private session. And you just spent the last hour trying to teach Alyssum a trick that would catch the gamemaker’s attention. Unfortunately, she’s still shaky at it, and not entirely sure if she’s going to use it. But Rigg on the other hand--has decided that he’s going to try out something with a sword.

You run your fingers through your hair, motioning to the space in front of you, “Show Finnick.”

Alyssum gives you a reluctant look, “(Y/n)--”

“Come on.” Finnick urges.

Rigg isn’t even here, he hasn’t been spending much time inside of the apartment. It seems like he likes to run off, and you’re hoping that’s going to come in handy inside of the arena. If he’s not going to make allies, he’s going to need to be able to run.

That and he doesn’t seem to trust you and Finnick very much. Finnick’s gotten as close as Rigg will allow, but it’s not that much. He won’t tell you what he thinks about the other tributes, who he wants to make allies with, what his special skill is or what he’s going to do for the private training session. It’s all radio silence on his side of things.

And you understand that he’s afraid that you’ll pass all of that information off to Alyssum or something, but it’s really not like that. All he’s going is putting himself in a position where you see him as unpredictable, and therefore unreliable when it comes to certain things inside of the arena.

If you can’t confirm or deny his plans to sponsors, and you have to admit that you have no clue what his motive is--besides making it out alive--then he’s not worthy of sponsorship. And since he’s literally twelve like Alyssum, it puts him at an even bigger disadvantage.

Alyssum picks up some knives, twirling it between her fingers. She nails this, it doesn’t cut her skin at all. Then, she draws her arm back wickedly, throwing the first knife from her finger. Quickly, she passes off a second to her right hand, to throw again. It takes her only half a second to get a new knife to throw.

By the time that she’s done, there’s three new holes in the wall, and she’s nailed two out of three of the tricks. You go down the two steps, onto her level of the floor, continuing all the way up to where the knives are. You pluck them out, weighing them in your hands.

“Are these too heavy?”

“No, they weigh just fine.” she says, looking at you.

You stare at the human diagram on the wall. It’s the exact shape of Elysia. She wasn’t too thrilled to have her body shape be the example of a target, but it was what you two need.

Stopping right where Alyssum had been throwing, you take your shot at it. The first knife she always throws is for the thighs, left or right, it doesn’t matter. You aim for the right one. The next she throws aims for the heart, and hers all varies around the same area. This would be a good, direct kill. You get that one without a problem.

The one that Alyssum can’t get right is the forehead. You give Alyssum a look, and she shrugs her shoulders. All the holes reside around the head, not even one has come close to hitting the bullseye. You throw the final knife, getting the head without a single problem.

“Take your time inside of the session. I get that we want it to be quick, but it’s okay to be slow.” you fix some of her hair, “Go at your own pace. The gamemakers won’t be bored by the time you go in.”

“Make sure to be confident when you walk in. Wait until they say you can start, and they’ll also dismiss you.”

“Be nice to not get on their bad side, but show a little bit of arrogance.” you say, “And if you’re sure that you can’t get the forehead in there, aim for the throat.”

Finnick nods.

“Alright.” she nods, standing up straighter, “I guess I should go.”

You kiss her forehead, brushing her hair back, “Good luck.”

“Thank you.” she hugs you, and then Finnick on her way out. As soon as the door shuts, you’re leaving the area and heading for the cellphone. 

Finnick cleans up the wall as best as he can. But there’s a ton of holes in the wall, and the berry juice has left a faint stain on the white walls. Either way, Finnick dumps the materials, thanks the avox, and heads to the bathroom to wash his hands.

You tap your feet slightly, leaning your head against the wall. It’s a long moment of ringing before the phone is finally picked up.

“(Y/n)?” a voice asks.

You raise your head, “Yes, who is this?”

“Caspian’s brother--Lucas.”

Lucas. Shaggy blonde hair, blue eyes and tan skin. He mostly roams around his house without a shirt, which always drives his mom nuts, but he never changes. Sweet kid, he’s turning fifteen this fall.

“What happened to Mox?”

“At the hospital, so is Reed, Caspian, my mom and Mags. He’s unwell, and last night he wasn’t too hot. Reed went to see my mom because he didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to worry you or Aly.” Lucas pauses for a moment, “My mom said that they should bring him to the clinic, and that’s what they’ve done. He’s… strapped down. Don’t want him to harm himself or anything.”

You close your eyes, trying to fight back the tears that are gathering. You pull the phone away from your face for a moment as you take a deep breath in, and then you place it right back up against your ear.

“You’re not supposed to be telling me this.” you say.

“Yeah, but Annie said it would be a good idea anyway. Want to talk to her?” 

“Please.” you look at Finnick when he comes out of the hallway.

He has his eyebrows raised, and you’re shaking your head, trying to tell him that it’s not alright back home. In fact, it’s what you feared. It’s in shambles.

“(Y/n), how’s everything in the Capitol?” Annie asks, “Is Alyssum doing okay?”

“Got herself an alliance with the careers, looks promising. If she does well on tonight’s score, then she’s got an official spot.”

“Good.” she says, and then moves on, “Reed doesn’t want to tell you anything, so calling back later won’t do anything. He won’t admit it, even if you tell him everything you know. I’m keeping an eye on the both of them. I didn’t know much about what happened until two days ago.

“Mom’s been keeping me inside a lot, afraid that I’d get everyone around me sick. Only a stomach bug, I’m better now.” she pauses for a long moment, “Sounds like Caspian is back with Mags. I’d give them the phone, but they’ll assume the worst. Instead I’ll just say you called to check up on Mox.”

“Yeah, it’s not the best idea.” you hold your finger up to Finnick, “Which means that you shouldn’t tell them about the career alliance either.”

“I won’t, promise. Call again after the interviews, we’ll all be here. Good luck, (Y/n). Give my best wishes to Alyssum, please.”

“I will,” you say, “Thank you, Annie.”

“No problem.” and then there’s a click.

You place the phone on the hook, taking in a deep breath as you look at Finnick, “Mox is in the clinic because they’re afraid he’s going to hurt himself. Reed and a couple of others are there to visit him.”

“Oh, (Y/n).” Finnick says, face drooping as he reaches out. You let him take you in a hug, squeezing him tightly as you cry into your shoulder.

--

“Sit, please.” Elysia begs, pushing Laurel and the prep team to the big couch that’s entirely dedicated to them. Pleurisy and the others are already sitting on that same couch, ready to go.

You’ve got Finnick to your right, and Alyssum in your arms on the left. Elysia gets her own private arm chair, and so does Rigg, all the way on the right side of the living room. He’s got his legs pulled up to his knees, and he refuses to talk.

“I’m nervous.” Alyssum mutters.

“It’s okay, Aly.” you rub her shoulder, “As long either of you got anything over an eight, we’ll be fine.”

Caesar then shows up on screen, and suddenly everyone is readjusting in their seats to sit up taller, lean forward or get comfortable. You don’t move. Just tighten your arm around Alyssum’s shoulders.

Starting with District One’s Marvel, he kicks it off with a nine. And this is when you know you can relax. If a boy like him is getting something so low, then it’s easy. Alyssum will be just fine. And since Glimmer gets the same score, you can let out a breath of air.

With Clove and Cato, they get ten’s, which was expected. For District Three, get averagely low scores, and for your tributes, you sit up a little more.

“District Four, Rigg Estridge with a score of six.”

You resist the urge to physically wince. Instead, you turn to Rigg with a warm smile, “That’s good, Rigg.”

He gives a timid smile, and your attention is turned right back to Caesar.

He has a smile on his face, looking up to the camera for a moment, “District Four, Alyssum Gallows with a score of--” he pauses on purpose, and the smile only widens, “--eight.”

You shake Alyssum’s shoulder excitedly, patting her upper arm a bit. She looks as happy as you do about all of this. The praise comes from everyone, directed to both Rigg and Alyssum. 

The next few tributes aren’t all that important, they all get around the same score, which only means that they hadn’t done anything outstanding inside of the training center when they had the chances. Not even their private sessions were good, it seems.

Then, it hits Haymitch’s tributes. First is Peeta, who gets an eight. It’s not that bad, it’s actually pretty good. Considering that the careers are always the ones to have a score between eight and ten, he basically qualifies. As for Katniss--she gets an eleven.

You hum, eyes a little wide. You can’t remember the last time Haymitch has got a pair of good tributes. You can only imagine that if his tributes win, it’s going to dig him out of his twenty-four year long streak of only losers.

“Regretting anything yet?” Finnick whispers, you turn to look at him.

“She’s only one person--two if Peeta sticks with her. Alyssum will be surrounded by four people, and she fits right in. I’m not worried about Katniss.”

You look back at the screen, only to see that Caesar is analyzing the scores briefly, until he hits Alyssum again. Then, he picks apart everything that he thinks might have happened, “Do any of you folks remember what had happened during the Gallows’ family interview?”

He then pulls up a clip from the interview. Alyssum was only three then, so little. But that’s not his focus. No, he plays a particular clip where they’re discussing your score;

“That’s a reasonable thought,” Caesar says, a few people in the audience agree, but it’s basically none, “What about her training score? A ten is a very big score, especially for someone who’s fifteen! I would never have guessed it.”

“Me neither.” Reed admits, “I thought she’d get something a little lower, but she always has a trick up her sleeve. She likely thought up some trick last minute that she knew would blow the gamemaker’s minds. And it worked just like she had hoped.”

“I bet she did that trick with the two knives.” Mox says, “Do you remember her doing that?”

Reed shakes his head, “Not really.”

“It’s a difficult trick to pull off, it takes a lot of practice. But if she did the one I’m thinking about, it’s likely the reason why she got one so high. It would be impressive to see her kill two tributes at once.”

After the clip, Caesar’s back, “It makes me wonder if Alyssum had pulled off that same trick that we were never able to see--or something similar! I hope we get to see it inside of the arena.” he winks.

It moves on after that, and Elysia shuts the tv off, turning to all of you, “How do you feel about a celebratory dessert?”

--

This week has been one huge blur. You still can’t believe that the interviews are tonight, and your sister goes into the arena tomorrow. The fact that she’s a tribute in the hunger games doesn’t seem real to you at all.

This has to be one big nightmare that you can’t escape. Your little sister, Alyssum Gallows, who is twelve years old and has only five years of experience and her name was only in the freaking glass bowl once is going inside of the arena. Nine years ago she was three, and you were in the arena, yourself.

It seems like there’s some unfortunate pattern when it comes to the women in the Gallow’s family. First it was your great-grandmother, caught and killed for her participation in the rebellion. Then it was your grandmother for not obeying the laws and standing up for herself when a peacekeeper was out of line.

Then it was your mother, not surviving childbirth. You came close to death a number of times, thanks to the arena. And right when you had thought your family has gotten off lucky--that you had finally managed to break the streak--it falls onto Alyssum. If the universe couldn’t have you, then it would definitely have her.

You know that after this, when you get home, you’re going to see the remnants of Reed and Mox. Mox will probably have to be medicated for the rest of his life, like Annie. Only time will make the wounds better, but they will never fully heal. Alyssum is the final product of your mother, and sometimes, is her.

Reed will throw himself into work. Maybe something dangerous, something that will get him away from you all for a good amount of time. Take week-long fishing trips, and only come home for a day, before leaving again. You can’t imagine he’ll be able to take the pity that everyone will be giving you, well.

And you can assume that the nightmares will resume. They haven’t just yet, but they will when you get back home. You’ll have to avoid the television for months in order not to see the recaps. As for the victory tour--you don’t think you’ll be able to hand it. To have to stand on a platform with your two brothers, barely sane and being held together with tape and glue.

Finnick will finally be able to see what it’s like to be a part of the family. Misfortune follows you all like the grim reaper. It was only a matter of time before the next big thing would happen. 

“Please get that look off your face.” Finnick’s voice is gentle, he reaches up to bring your chin a little higher, wanting you to look at him, “You’ve done a very good job this week. She’s got sponsors, she’s got an alliance, and a high score. You and your brothers prepared her well, just like you said you would.”

“I don’t want her to go inside.” you tell him, throat feeling thick. You look back to the door where she’s supposed to come out in a few moments, “I want her to stay.”

“I know.” Finnick says, pulling you into him. He wraps his arms around you, and you lean your head against his chest, reaching up to grab one of his arms.

You two of you stand like this, staring at the door. The second she comes out, you’re going to have to force a smile and give her more pointers about what she should do on the stage. For now, you get a long moment with your thoughts.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to go home.” the words leave your mouth without a second thought to them, “Not because I can’t face my brothers, but I don’t think I want to see what they’ll become.”

“I’m here with you.” Finnick says, “You don’t have to go through it alone.”

“I know, I get that. But I can’t see them so broken and torn apart. Mox hadn’t even been like this for mom or dad. And Reed literally raised Alyssum and I…” you trail off, eyebrows drawing in, “I can face all the looks from everyone, and the funeral, and the apologies. But my brothers are a whole new thing.”

Finnick doesn’t say anything, but his arms do tighten around you a little at the thought of all that. He probably forgot entirely about the funeral. But it’s really not only that. As soon as they retrieve her body, they’re going to do their best to restore what she looked like before she died, and you and Finnick are going to have to approve it.

Then you get to travel back home with her in a casket that the Capitol provides. Since she was a tribute, and she ‘served’ them, she’ll be in a white one, with a Capitol seal as well as a district one.

You frown now, “No, I don’t think I’ll go home.”

Finnick opens his mouth, but the door opens, and it reveals Alyssum in the biggest blue dress you’ve ever seen her in. She gives a bright smile, and you give one back. She twirls a little for you, holding onto her necklace to keep it in its perfect place. Then, she does a curtsy.

“I love it!” she laughs, coming out of the doorway to allow Elysia and Laurel to slip out of the room, “I’m like royalty.”

“Because you are.” you want to give her a hug, but it’ll have to wait until after the interview.

She looks like she did when she was a child. Playing pretend with the fairy wands and the pretend paper and plastic crowns. You never understood her obsession, but now seeing it in front of you, it’s because she was able to have a childhood. Thanks to you winning the hunger games, you brought your family out of poverty, and it was right in time for Alyssum to start playing with toys.

You almost feel guilty for taking it away from her so soon. She really only got four years before you all were on her back simultaneously. Then again, your early training is what’s going to save her. Even if it’s just for a little while.

“Alright, make sure that one of the first things out of your mouth is a compliment to the Ca[pitol. Like their people, outfits, the apartments that they provide, whatever.” you tell her, “I want you to act like yourself today, okay? Make them melt.”

“Right.” she smiles, “I guess I don’t have to lay it on too thick, then. Especially with this dress.”

You laugh, “You’re already halfway there.”

“Answer the questions honestly, but if you think that it’ll get you in trouble, don’t. It’s okay to lie, they’re not going to know the difference. Not if we’re all going to lie with you.” Finnick says, “If you don’t like a question, answer shortly, and then move on before he can ask you a second question about it. He won’t go back.”

“Three minutes on stage.” you hold up your fingers, “He’ll likely split it into three things. Family, the Capitol, and then either a message you can say, or something about yourself. If you ever get nervous, we’re in the crowd. Find us if you need someone to look at for comfort. But I’d really like it if you looked around the room.”

“I can do this.” she says, “I think I’m ready.”

“Follow Caesar’s lead, he’s going to make you comfortable.” Finnick says lastly, “He’s got you.”

You all go to the line in the hallway to see the other tributes. You wish Alyssum good luck, before heading off towards to retrieve Rigg next. He’s not excited, more nervous and scared. You tell him that he’ll do just fine, and drop him off next to Alyssum.

You and Finnick find your places in the crowd, taking a very special spot next to Haymitch. He doesn’t care that you’ve sat next to him, and he even offers his flask without a word. 

You take it from him, take a nice gulp, and then pass it off to Finnick while your throat burns. This has to be the Capitol stuff, the districts don’t even nearly have something this strong. Finnick sputters out a cough, and the three of you share a laugh because of it.

“Thanks.” you say.

“You probably need it more than me.”

Caesar introduces the show like he always does, for the audience back home. He starts off with Glimmer, who comes on stage in a short pink dress, her blonde hair curled and a wide smile on her face, waving to the audience. Next is Marvel, who easily tours over Caesar because of his height. 

Clove comes in with a red dress, looking mean and smart. She spends her time being sarcastic, but clearly winning the hearts of the people around you. In this time, Haymitch passes the flask over for another drink, and you take it without complaint. You’d rather be drunk than sober when Rigg finally rolls around.

Cato is dressed in a blue suit, and talks about himself the entire time. When the interview is finally over, you’re all relieved and happy to be watching someone who isn’t as full of themselves. Before you know it, the District Four tributes are up.

Alyssum comes up the stage, holding the bottom of her dress just barely up enough so that she doesn’t trip on it. She stops next to Caesar, and the crowd is absolutely in love. You can hear a few people behind you muttering about the dress, and then the crown.

“Wow!” Caesar gasps, “That is--” he backs up, trying to get a whole view of it. Alyssum poses for him, and even turns side to side to allow him to see all of it, “Amazing! Let me guess, you’re supposed to be a princess?”

“Yes!” Alyssum gives a big smile to the crowd, catching you and Finnick instantly. And just as you instructed, she looks out to other people, “Being here in the Capitol makes me feel so…” she stops for a moment, thinking of the word.

“Famous?” Caesar encourages.

“Famous! That’s the word.” she laughs--or more, giggles--at herself, “It makes me feel like I have some fans.”

Caesar gasps, “How could we not? I know I have been a big fan, ever since I saw you for the first time! And you were just a little toddler.”

Behind her, a screen changes to her on Reed’s lap during the family interview.

Alyssum covers her mouth with one hand, “Oh, that’s embarrassing.”

The crowd loves this, and soon, Caesar is encouraging her to sit down too. Following in the footsteps of the six people before her. When she sits, the dress almost consumes her entirely, but she’s able to readjust enough so that it’s fixed.

“Now tell me, Alyssum, what was going through your mind at the reaping?”

Alyssum presses her lips together, a clear sign that she doesn’t like the question. She fakes thinking for a moment, and then gives a shy smile, “I was upset that it was my first year of the reaping and I’d have to go inside of the arena. I thought I’d have a few more years until I would have to start to worry. But, it’s not like that anymore.”

Caesar raises his eyebrows, “Why’s that?”

“I have my older sister here with me.” she places her laced fingers on one of her knees, “Even if this is my last few days, I get to spend it with the person I look up to the most. Or, should I say people. Finnick is pretty cool too.”

She looks right at you and Finnick, giving a cheeky smile.

“Speaking of which, what is it like being in the shadow of her? Being constantly compared to her?” Caesar asks, this question is especially ironic because he’s the one doing it.

“Hard, knowing that I won’t ever compare. But kinda fun too, knowing that people were already familiar with me.” She says, “It’s like going somewhere, thinking it’ll be full of strangers, but instead it’s just family friends.”

“What a thoughtful way to put it.” Caesar says, and then smiles, looking out to the crowd, “what do you think folks? Are you a family friend?”

You wince at how loud the auditorium gets, but give Alyssum a reassuring smile. This is a good sign, a whole audience full of ‘family friends’. This seems to boost Aly’s confidence a little too, and she sits a little taller in her chair.

“You scored very high on your training.” Caesar says, and Alyssum nods.

“I did.”

He smiles at this, “Is there any hidden skills we should know of?”

Alyssum laughs, “If I told you--it wouldn’t be hidden!”

“Fine, do you think you’ll surprise us inside of the arena?”

Alyssum tilts her head with a sweet smile, “I think I might, but you’ll just have to wait and see for yourself.”

The crowd is cheering now, and the buzzer is going off. It’s perfect timing, in your mind. Caesar and Alyssum stand together, he takes her hand in his, and encourages her to step forward. She gives a curtsy, one that’s much more graceful than the one she gave you and Finnick in the hallway.

The crowd is standing now, clapping louder. She gives one final wave, thanking them for their time, and then she’s leaving to go back to the hallway.

As everyone takes their seats again, you and Finnick are slipping out of the crowd, not too focused on Rigg. He’s made his intentions clear, you won’t bother trying to salvage something that doesn’t want to be salvaged.

In the back, Alyssum is twirling around in her dress, and the second her eyes land on you, she’s running over. You hug her tightly, with only praise rolling off Finnick’s tongue.

Now you only have to worry about tomorrow.

[backchatdiscourse]

Christmas Without You

I’m so pleased to tell @innueendo that I am your Secret Santa for @dtfrogertaylor‘s tgic!!! Merry Christmas! I hope you like it!

Title: Christmas Without You

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader

Word Count: 2.4K

Summary: Roger has promised to fly out to you for Christmas during a break from tour. But when there’s radio silence from him in the days leading up Christmas, you may have to make do spending your holiday alone.

A/N: Flashbacks are italicized.

December 24. 2 a.m. He said he’d call when he got to the airport. He’d let you know his flight plans. Maybe he didn’t want to disturb you. There was the time change, after all. Maybe he wasn’t flying tonight. He could board early on Christmas Eve morning and still get here. Besides, just because it was late here doesn’t mean it it’s late there. There’s plenty of time for him to board yet today. Yesterday, technically.

Six hour difference. Eight hour flight. So only two hours, really. Plenty of time.

You could call him. Two in the morning here. It’s only eight in New York. Still the 23rd. He might be on his way to the airport. You could miss him. Or worse, you could try to call him exactly when he tries to call you, and you’d miss his call altogether!

That’s probably stupid. Unless it wasn’t?

No. Stupid. You picked up the phone and dialed the number. Roger had left you a list of the numbers for all the hotels he’d be staying at during Queen’s American tour, as well as which dates he’d be at each. He’d phoned you two days ago when he’d checked in to give you his room number, and you’d penciled it in beside the phone number.

Your handwriting looked so different from his. His was almost a chicken scratch. It might not be legible had you not had years of practice deciphering it. Even his horrid writing was endearing to you. You missed him so much you could barely breathe at times. Now was one of those times.

Holding the receiver to your ear, you counted the rings until a cheery sounding woman with an American accent greeted you.

“Yes,” you replied. “I’m looking for Roger Taylor in room 1322.”

“I see.” The change in her tone was instant and sharp. You imagined you weren’t the first woman phoning the luxury establishment looking for one of the four boys. You bitterly wondered how many had also given the correct room number. “And what is your name?”

“Y/N.”

The woman paused, presumably checking a list. “Alright Ms. Y/N, I’ll patch you through.”

“Thank you,” you said, but she was already gone. The phone was ringing once more.

And ringing...

And ringing...

And ringing...

For minutes.

You slammed the receiver down.

An overreaction, you thought before picking it up once more. Likely he had already left the hotel and was on his way to the airport. On his way to you.

You dialed the hotel again, and once again were greeted by the same cheery woman turned harsh when she heard that it was again you, this time looking for John. You’d met John, whom Roger affectionately called Deaky, only once, but the two of you had hit it off. Roger had jokingly asked if you’d wanted to be set up. You hadn’t much cared for that joke.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Y/N, but you are not authorized by Mr. Deacon to contact him.”

“Wait!” you didn’t want her to hang up before you were sure Roger had left yet. “Can you please ask him if he’d be willing to take a call?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

“Please! I just need to know if Roger is on his way to the airport yet. May I please speak to John? For just a moment?”

“Mr. Taylor left the hotel over an hour ago with a young woman. I don’t know where he went. Good evening, Ms. Y/N.” And with that, the brusque woman hung up on you.

You hung your receiver back on the wall, blinking back hot tears. Instead of coming to visit you for Christmas as promised, Roger was out and about in New York City with some American floozy. Fine. That was fine. Roger could see whoever he wanted. You weren’t his keeper. You weren’t his girlfriend. And if he didn’t even have the decency to call and tell you wasn’t coming then you didn’t want to see him anyway.

He wasn’t worth your time, and you didn’t want to see him.

You didn’t want him to come. You didn’t want to see him.

Maybe if you kept telling yourself that, you’d start to believe it.

~~~

You woke up the next morning, feeling delightfully well-rested on Christmas Eve to a knock at your door. You looked over to your nightstand and found it was already afternoon. That would explain feeling well-rested. Another knock.

You sat bolt upright. Could it be? Maybe it was. He’d made it after all!

You sprinted through your apartment and threw open the door to find-

your neighbor.

Oh.

“You left your keys in the door,” he told you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, pulling them out of the lock and feeling suddenly tired once more.

You migrated to the sofa and stared at the Christmas tree. Alone. On Christmas Eve.

You’d put up the tree in early December, also alone, hanging your favorite ornament front and center on the tree, a golden sparkling pair of crossed drumsticks you’d bought on impulse this year. You were going to surprise Roger with them this year if ever made it back.

He’d called you that first night and asked you to describe the tree to him in detail. The lights, the tinsel, the ornaments and their placement.  “Is that creepy looking baby angel right up front?” he’d asked, as if you’d dare place his favorite ornament anywhere else. It hung just to the right of the new drumstick ornament, the only aspect of the tree you didn’t tell him all about. You were sure he’d appreciate the surprise.

If he came.

Decorating the tree with Roger had become a tradition in years past. Early in December, you’d put up the tree, hanging ornaments in turn, stringing the lights and the tinsel, and generally having an absurdly good time together. You have a photo somewhere of Roger making a stupid face with an ornament hanging over either ear and a pile of tinsel on his head in a sloppy crown.

The tradition had become important to you both, but held a special place in your heart specifically. Two years ago, when decorating the tree, you’d fallen asleep on the armchair and woken up, tied to the chair by a strand of lights.

You looked up to see Roger standing above you, with that troublemaker’s smile of his. Assessing the situation, you remarked, “You didn’t do a very thorough job. Lights only? What about the tinsel and the ornaments? What about the topper? What kind of crummy looking tree only has lights? This is slapshod work, Taylor.”

“I thought about it,” he said, “but you look gorgeous enough as it is. I don’t think my heart could take it if you got anymore beautiful.”

As quickly as the moment occurred, it was over. He was untying you, and you were decorating the tree together, just like always, and he was once again his normal self, sans flirting. It was fine, really. Roger was flirty, you knew, with everyone. But in that moment you found yourself seeing Roger in a new light. Not just your good friend Roger, but perhaps something more? You tried to calm the butterflies and ignore the notion, but it persisted. You had feelings for Roger. Your Roger. Your friend, who had never let you down.

Never until today. When you sat alone in front of a tree, while he traipsed around New York with some other girl.

~~~

Christmas Eve came and went, with no word from Roger.

On Christmas morning, you padded into the kitchen to fix yourself breakfast, feeling none of the excitement you usually felt on Christmas. You fixed yourself a full English breakfast, despite it not being one you enjoyed. You’d bought all the fixings before Roger blew you off. You wanted to surprise him with a meal from his English home after spending so many weeks in America and then spending Christmas away from home with you. You could hardly run out to the store today, though, so you suffered through the mess of beans, toast, eggs, and sausage alone.

After your meal, you resolved yourself to trying to call Roger again, despite the early hour there. Maybe you wanted to give him a piece of your mind, or maybe you were just a masochist, you weren’t sure which. You dialed the hotel, not realizing you were holding your breath until the front desk clerk answered. It was a different employee this time, for which you were grateful.

“Hello, this is Y/N, can I please reach Roger Taylor in room 1322?”

“Of course; one moment.”

And the line was ringing...

And ringing...

And ringing...

And ringing...

You were about to hang up when a groggy voice answered. “Hello?” It was a woman’s voice.

You slammed the receiver down.

A tear rolled down your cheek this time.

How could he do this to you? How could he pick some strange woman over his best friend for Christmas. And worse still, how could he not tell you? It was bad enough not to come after he promised. After years of holiday traditions. But to do so without a word of acknowledgement?

Roger meant everything to you. You’d give up everything you had just to be with him today. But you clearly weren’t worth the time or the money or even a simple call. How could you have been so foolish as to believe you were actually important to him?

Well that was all well and good.

You stormed to the tree and ripped the drumsticks ornament from it, throwing it across the room in a blind fury of grief and embarrassment.

You refused to let that inconsiderate ass of a man ruin your holiday, so you found a Christmas movie on television and fixed yourself a hot chocolate.

“I’m out of mini marshmallows, sorry,” you told him.

“Unacceptable! How am I supposed to enjoy a hot chocolate without mini marshmallows?” Roger teased.

You rolled your eyes. “You’ll have to manage with the full sized ones.”

His jaw dropped in fake shock. “Full size? You’re mad, woman!”

You ignored him. “One or two marshmallows? I’m using two.”

“One and three-sevenths,” he answered immediately and seemingly in all seriousness.

You refused to look at him. If you looked at the earnest facade you knew he was fronting, you’d be certain to laugh. And the last thing you wanted to do was encourage him. You didn’t want him to see how he was affecting you, how his playful banter was making your heart beat faster.

“Roger Meddows Taylor, that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Pick a normal number of marshmallows or do without.”

He made an indignant noise. “Don’t middle name me! And I will not! One and three-sevenths! That’s the amount of large marshmallows that equals the amount of miniature ones I’d prefer.”

“You are making that up and you know it,” you scolded, unable to keep the smile out of your voice. “I am not going to make a huge sticky mess trying to cut up a marshmallow into three-sevenths.”

“Well I don’t know what we’re going to do then, Y/N.”

You looked over and couldn’t hide your smile. As he beamed at you, you couldn’t imagine how he didn’t see the adoration in your eyes.

Willing yourself to ignore the intruding memory, you settled into your sofa to watch your Christmas film.

After it ended there was a second, followed by a third, and on and on. It was almost enough to keep your mind occupied. To allow you to forget how you were home alone on Christmas, abandoned by the one you wanted most to share the day with. Sometimes you could forget for a half hour or so, but then the clock would chime, reminding you that it was later and later, and he wasn’t coming. Or a scene would come up on screen, with a man and woman holding each other, or sharing a kiss under the mistletoe, and you felt hollow inside.

As the last movie ended, you checked the clock. 11:30 pm. You’d nearly done it. You’d almost gotten through the day. You’d live to tell the tale of the sad and lonely Christmas of Y/N. You internally chastised yourself for being so melodramatic. Plenty of people were worse off than just being ditched. Still, it hardly helped.

A knock at the door.

An all too familiar voice. “Y/N?”

Your breath caught. Momentarily forgetting your anger and depression, you ran to the door and threw it open.

“Roger!” you yelled, throwing yourself into his arms with such force that you almost toppled the both of you.

He laughed and held you in his arms. “God, Y/N, am I glad to see you. I’m so sorry I’m late.”

And with his admission, you pulled away, freshly reminded of your indignation. “Did your flight just come in?”

“Yes, I-“

“How could you do this to me?” you interrupted. “You put off spending Christmas with me, like you promised, in order to sleaze around with some sloppy groupie! You didn’t even bother to call! I spent the past two days angry and upset and you didn’t care! You ruined my Christmas, Roger Taylor, and now you show up at the last second like everything’s all right? Maybe you should just go.”

“Go? Y/N, what are you talking about? I flew all this way just to be with you!”

“At the last second! You never called me! And when I tried to reach you THIS MORNING some woman answered your phone!”

He paused. “Y/N, I’ve been traveling for two days. I don’t know who you spoke to on the phone, but I wasn’t there. I gave Brian my room when I left because it was nicer than his.”

Two days? Now that he mentioned it, he looked like hell. He had bags under his eyes, and his hair was greasy. His clothes were wrinkled and he looked as though he could barely stand.

You took his suitcase and led him to the sofa. “How did it take you two days to get here? Why didn’t you call?” You tried to make the second question sound as non-accusatory as you could, though you didn’t think you’d succeeded.

“New York was a nightmare. The worst blizzard they’d seen in decades, apparently. Almost every flight was cancelled. Everything else was delayed. I was in the airport overnight. I had to take a plane in the wrong direction just to get out. I flew west to Chicago and had to find a new flight out to Edinburgh and make a connection from there to here. I did everything I could to get here on time. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do it.” He was looking at you so earnestly that it was too much to handle. You had to break eye contact.

“You never called.” Your heard how small your voice had become.

“I know. I’m sorry. The phones at the airport were out of order. Most of the city’s phone lines were affected, I heard. Something to do with the storms. I couldn’t call from Chicago or Scotland. I didn’t have time. By the time I finally got my flights in order they were back to back. I almost missed one of my connections.”

“Oh.” You supposed that made sense. “But the hotel clerk said she saw you leave with some woman.” This came out far less as an accusation, and more genuinely perplexed.

Roger seemed confused for a minute before seemingly coming to a realization. “Oh! Well I don’t suppose it was any of her business, but I left the hotel with one of John’s girlfriends. Like I said, the city was a mess, so we shared a cab to the airport. Doubtful that we would’ve been able to get two.”

“Oh.” You felt like a fool, throwing around accusations and doubting that Roger wouldn’t be there for you if he was able. Your previous anger and sadness seemed to mingle with your newfound guilt and you once again felt your face grow warm and red from unshed tears.

“Oh, Y/N, no, don’t be upset!” Before you realized what was happening, he pulled you to him and planted a deep kiss on your lips.

You eventually pulled away, shocked.

His blue eyes stared deep into yours and you felt exposed, almost, as if the look alone was too intimate.

“Y/N, I would never, ever let you down like this if there was any human way to avoid it. I wanted to be with you today more than anything in the world. You’re the most important person in my life.”

“I am?”

“Of course you are.”

You sat quietly for a moment, unsure where to go from here. It’s what you’ve wanted for years, but you you never actually thought you’d get it.

“What’s this?” Roger held up the drumsticks ornament you’d thrown to the floor. It must have landed beside the sofa.

“It was a surprise for you, in honor of your America tour. I threw it off the tree when I’d thought you’d blown me off.”

He studied it with a small smile on his face. “It’s perfect. Thank you, love.”

Love. He’d called you that before, but it felt different now. Less casual, more sincere.

“Roger,” you said very seriously, “I love you so much that I’d cut a marshmallow into a stupid fraction for you if you asked me to.”

You both felt and heard his laughter as he pulled you into his chest.

“And I love you so much, Y/N, that I won’t ask you to.”

[jinxthequeergirl]

Not the villain (pt.4)

Crowley x reader

Summary: you are visited by a witch, your father dies the final week before your coronation, Haster takes action, and Crowley ends up missing

Warning: death/implied smut/otherwise nothing to dramatic

~~~~~

You had gotten up earlier than normal to return Bentley to Crowley. The forest was quiet and dim.

Only a few rays of the rising Sun shone through the trees lighting up the tops of the them. It was scilent except for the breeze in the trees and Bentley slowly trotting down the dirt road.

You took it all in breathing in deeply inviting the morning air in. Then bentley stopped momentarily. "Bentley? What's wrong?" you leaned forward to look at him but stopped when you heard an unusual snapping of twigs coming from the side of the path.

You tightened your grip on the rains.

"Your majesty!?" a girl ran out onto the track Bentley reared back knocking you to the ground and ran off. "Bentley!"

"Oh God I'm so sorry princess I didn't mean to scare you or your steed."

The woman made her way to you helping you up and dusting off your dress. "It's alright I'm not hurt what are you doing run into the middle of the path like that?"

The girl straightened herself out fixing her round glasses and bowed.

"Your majesty I am Anathema and it's very important that I deilever a message to you."

"Well Anathema you may rise. what is this message?" Anathman stood and faced you.

"You are in danger."

"Really?" you started walking down the path and she followed. "Yes the prophacy stated that....that the people you trust may be more than meets the eye.the one she's born from may pass and disaster will strike!"

"Well I'll keep that in mind but tell me Anathema how do you know this?"

"Well in all honesty...I..I'm a witch...and that prophecy from my grandmother who was also a witch and she had that directed to you!"

"Well thank you for the warning Anathema."

"You are very welcome your majesty."

You smiled and looked at her. "What else can you do?" anathema arched her eyebrow. "How do you mean?"

"I mean as a witch? Any special ability's? Things like that?"

She smiled and began to explain to you a few thing here and there as you both continued to walk down the path. The Sun rising now filling the entire forest with the earily morning glow.

As the two of you approached crowley castle Anathema slowed down. "What is this place?"

"My friend Crowley lives just up the hill in the castle...that was his horse who rode of."

"Well he's probably got the horse back by now...I don't like the feeling of this place..."

You both stoped. "Its probably just the castle...a lot of bad things have happened here before it was left like it is now." you did your best to eaise her thoughts. Before you could continue further Crowley appeared not to far ahead of you.

"Y/n!" he ran towards you scooping you up in his arms. "Your alright!?"

"Yes yes I'm fine!"

"Bentely came back frightened with out you on him so I thought something was wrong-"

You laughed at him and he stoped to look at you still holding you in his arms. "What."

"Nothing I've just never seen you like this." he smiled softly. "Its all the same as yesterday you've changed me...but you are sure you are alright?.."

You cupped his face in one of your hands and smiled. "I'm fine."

Crowley in that moment wanted to lean down catch your lips in his and show how releved he was but he stopped when he saw Anathema appear into view.

She looked him up and down in distaste.

"Y/n?.."

You turned and followed his gaze. "Oh! Crowley this is anathema...she...she walked me here after Bentley ran off. Anathema this is Crowley." you freeded yourself from his hold and excitedly introduced the two. "Pleaser...y/n Why don't we to in and have some tea?"

You smiled and took his hand. "Oh sounds great why doesnt Ana-"

"Sorry princess I have some where to be.thank you though." she sneered at Crowley one last time before turning and heading back.

You and Crowley spent the rest of the morning and afternoon enjoying breakfast and gardening.

You sat in the garden teaching Crowley how to make a flower crown when there was comotion at the front gate. "Your majesty!" you both stood up looking at one of the gauird from you castle.

"It's the king...Aziraphale sent us to get you." You looked at them worriedly and turned to Crowley. "Go I'll see you tonight.." you smiled lightly and placed the flower crown on his head. Before turning to the gauaird who helped you onto a horse.

"I'm sure everything is alright y/n..." you smiled and nodded and quickly rode off in haste.

By the time you had gotten to the court yard you where sprinting into the castle and up to the room where your father was.

"Dad!?" you ran to the bed side where Aziraphale already stood. "Daddy what's the matter?" you took his hand and held it. "Y/n My darling..." he coughed and you looked up at Aziraphale. "Aziraphale?"

"Y/n I can't hold on any longer..."

"Daddy no! please..." years where already down your face and Aziraphale watched with sadness. "I know you'll do good...I love you my princess..."

"I love you too daddy..please don't go!" he stopped moving and Aziraphale grabbed you pulling you away. "He's gone. He's gone..." you held onto him and sobbed into his shoulder. "I should...should have...should have spent more time with...with him!"

"No no he wanted you to be out you couldn't do anything..."

You continued to cry and he lead you out of the room to yours. "Come on lets get you cleaned up it's late and you should rest and take time to process everything..." he sat you on the bed. "I'll have a maide come in and clean you up for bed." you nodded running tears from your face.

You lied in bed in a new night gown curled up on the bed staring blankly at the moon light flooding the room. All you could think about was anathemas message and how you should have listened.

The door opened and Crowley stepped inside and sat on the end of your bed. "I'm sorry..."

Your eyes moved to look at him. "I know I don't know what it's like to lose some one like that...but I can only imagine...." you only looked at him as he attempted to make you feel better.

He sighed rubbed the back of his neck. "But I just wanted to check on you...make sure you where alright...but you should sleep." he got up and headed to the door.

Before he could even grab the handle you jumped up, grabbed his wrist, pulled him close to you and kissed him deeply. You felt the shock in him melt away for him to kiss back with just as much fource.

"Wait! wait..." he pulled away looking at you. "What are-"

"I think I'm in love with you! I know this is a weird time to tell you but I just..I just don't want to..to think about-"

Crowley kissed you again cutting you off. Your hands traveld to his face And you pulled away again slowly. Your hands reached for his glasses and you began to pull them off. He didn't want you to see.

Not yet. Not now. Not this way. He shut his eye's as you pulled them of and opened them slowly. Instead of his normal yellow snake eyes all you saw where beautiful brown eyes.

You smiled softly rubing your thumb just under his eye. He placed a hand over yours and whispered softly just for your ears only. "I'm in love with you too."

You smiled and leaned in again kissing him. His hands traveld down your back to the lace that held your night gown up. He pulled the string lightly letting it come undone. You peeled of layers of his outfit off letting your dress fall and pool around your ankles.

You both went over to the bed finishing what you where starting.

While in hell Haster and ligur prepared to finish the job Crowley was sent to do.

They approached the front gate the castle towering menacingly over them. "You sure he's here?"

"Yes the love of his life just lost her father he'll want to be there for her." he said in a mockingly sweet tone. Haster turned to his companion. "Ready?"

Ligur nodded and rolled his neck as he began to change from his normal ghastly appearance to you. "Ready."

Crowley had his arm drapped over your wasit as you slept. Or so he thought he did for when he was woken up you wheren't there.

Someone called his name from out front softly. "Crowley." he got up gathering a few layers of his clothes and made his way to the window.

You. Or an illiustion of you stood outside waiting for him. "Crowley."

He quickly pushed him self from the window and made his way down to her. All the while you did lay fast asleep in bed not noticing the absents of warmth from Crowley anymore.

He made his was down to the gate calling out to you carefully. "Y/n? What are you doing out here? Come back to bed." he inched closer to her and she turned around. "Sorry love... But your job here is done." and just like that Haster appeared behind him and bat him over the head knocking him out.

Ligur returned to his natural form. "Get em' back to hell I've got more work up here I'll summon you when it's time."

Ligur followed his order and grabbed Crowley before vanishing back to hell. Haster glanced at the castle one last time before stroling out to the forest whistiling a pleasent tune to him self. The Sun would be rising in a few hours now and the plan could finally set into motion.

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Tagging:

@writer-of-camelot

@phoenixuprisingsstuff

@ibjessjess

@lemoncitrusgurl

@a--1--1--3

@dadzawas-eyebags

@sophiematskiv

[lovemesomesurveys]

One: the last song you listened to

1. What song is it? You Should See Me in a Crown

2. Who was the artist? Billie Eilish. 

3. Was it upbeat or slower? It’s starts off kinda slow and then the chorus hits. 

4. Was the singer a male or female? Female.

5. Has this artist ever made an instrumental? Possibly. I’m not sure.

6. Do you like the album art that this song is off of? The spiders freak me out.

7. Do you have a favourite lyrics from this song? The chorus is my favorite: “You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by, one.”

8. Is this an artist you typically listen to? I like a few of her songs. I haven’t gotten around to listening to all her music, yet. 

9. Do you have any posters of this artist in your room? Nope.

10. How many albums have they released? She’s released 1 album, a couple EPs, and a ton of singles. 

Two: the shirt you are currently wearing

1. What is/are the dominant colour(s) on your shirt? Black.

2. Is it printed/patterned or mostly solid? It’s a mostly all black shirt with a center photo of baby Yoda.

3. How long have you owned this shirt? I just got it for Christmas.

4. Do you know how much it cost? No.

5. Did you buy it or did someone else buy it for you? It was a gift.

6. Besides now, when was the last time you wore it? Last week. 

7. Have you ever gotten complimented on it? I haven’t gone out anywhere with it on, yet.

8. How long have you been wearing this shirt now (all day, a few hours)? It’s 2:51AM and I’ve worn it since yesterday afternoon.

9. Is the shirt music-related, such as a band t-shirt? No.

10. The store that this shirt came from, is it a store you typically shop at? Yeah. I know it’s from Hot Topic, which is where I get a lot of my graphic tees from.

Three: the last place you went, outside of your home

1. Where was it? Barnes and Noble.

2. Was it a store? Yeah, it’s a bookstore. 

3. Is this a place you normally go? It used to be. I hadn’t been there in over a year prior to this time.

4. Did you see anyone you know there? No.

5. How long were you there for? Like 15-20 minutes.

6. Were you outdoors or indoors at this place? Indoors.

7. Besides the most recent time you went there, when was the last time you went there? Oh, I already answered that.

8. Did you enjoy yourself or was it not a place really intended for fun/enjoyment? Yeah. I got a coffee and looked around for a bit. I was waiting for my pizza to be ready from the place next door.

9. Was there music playing where you went? Yeah, typical like coffeeshop type music.

10. Do you know when you’ll go there next? Nope. I don’t go often anymore like I used to.

Four: the last time you cried

1. Was it a person or a situation that made you cry? Situation.

2. Did you cry hard or just shed a few years? Ha, imagine if you cried and shed a few years. I would have gone back to not even being born if that were the case a long time ago. Anyway, I didn’t have a full on crying session. I was just frustrated about some things and just in a mood. 

3. Was it tears or joy or tears of sadness? It was tears of frustration and irritability. 

4. How many people, if any, saw you cry? Zero.

5. Was it the first time you’d cried in a while? No. 

6. How long did you cry for, approximately? It wasn’t very long. Like I said, it wasn’t a full on crying session that time. 

7. Was there a specific reason you stopped crying (someone made you feel better, for example)? I just...did.

8. Did you have a headache after crying? Not that time. It happens when I have a full on crying session. 

9. The reason you cried, is it something that you’ve cried over before, or something similar to it? Yeah. I cry out of frustration and irritability quite often.

10. Was anyone comforting you when you were crying? No, I was alone.

Six: the last time you were under the influence of drugs or alcohol (skip if it doesn’t apply to you)

1. Were you under the influence of drugs, or alcohol? It’s been almost 7 years now since I last drank or smoked.

2. How long did it last for? We drank during the night.

3. What was it that intoxicated you, specifically? Alcohol.

4. Were you alone or with someone/people? I was with friends.

5. If you were with someone/people, who all was there? A group of friends. I don’t want to list them.

6. If you were alone, why were you under the influence? -

7. What was the best part of it? It was fun until I got really sick. 

8. What was the worst part of it? Getting really sick. Apart from feeling like absolute shit, I was super embarrassed. I got sick in front of everyone and my friend had to help me clean up. It was just awful.

9. Did you feel hungover/burnt out/etc. afterwards? Extremely. That was the worst time for me. It was also the last time.

10. Did you pass out at all? No, but I was very drunk. There’s parts of that night I don’t remember and then I was sick during the night. I didn’t sleep much at all.

[ldelreyna]

CHAPTER V

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"All this champagne drunken home

Against the current oh, oh

Everybody see I love him

Cause it's a feeling that you get

When the afternoon is set

On the bridge into the city...”

- Over The Love, Florence And The Machine

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Half of Sansa got up from her bed happy, satisfied, and with her soul lighter, it seemed. But her other half pondered the consequences of their actions last night and she was afraid of the reaction Jon had.

And questions lingered in her head even more.

She went out the door of her chambers and followed the routine path to break her fast Had Jon given up on everything and gone back to the Wall?

"Sansa, I will ride to the borders with the Six Kingdoms. They had trouble closing some parts and some people tried to overtake and went North."

She opened her mouth a few times ... was that all he would tell me?

"When you get back we need to talk." She raised her nose and looked at him haughtily and finished her walk down the stairs listening to him following her.

"Sansa ..."

"You'll have enough time to think while you make this trip you just invented."

He took her hand in his, Sansa stopped and turned to him at once with that touch.

"Please do not say you're sorry," she begged.

"I would never say that, Sansa."

"But you thought." She snapped back.

Jon was trying, at all costs, to not engage in a fight, but it seems that Sansa was pushing him hard.

"Oh, that's good now. Read minds, too?"

"Do not try to hide your mistakes with sarcasm, Jon." He hated the tone of her voice, with some sort of anger and hate.

"I'm not trying to hide anything! And look, now, you are the one who is saying that yesterday was a mistake. Not me."

Sansa shook her head. She would not make this one of those terrible fights they always had. "You know the mistake I mean." She said last before turning her back and finally leaving him in the middle of the stairs even more confused than he already was.

He thought Sansa would reject him at all costs, that for her the night that passed it happened because of the heat of the moment and it could never be repeated. He just wanted to protect her, protect her integrity. What would the servants think if they saw Jon leaving so late and after such a long time the Queen's chambers? A massive and bad gossip could start and that was no good for Sansa. Not even a little.

The rest of the day passed like the wind, sometimes fast, sometimes calm and slow. Much had to do regarding the North, the Glover’s once more causing trouble with their neighbors. Sansa had no choice and took away Lord Glover's lands after the Long Night as punishment for not having fought with his own and broken his promise to King Jon. She called him a coward in front of the whole council and caused extreme public shame to the man. It was the only way to secure her authority in front of her own.

…

The castle was decorated but completely empty. Jon heard the noise of the music, the drums, the people dancing and talking, but not a living soul in there. Except for Bran, who was - as always – in his creepiest form, very thoughtful in front of the fireplace, analyzing the flames but with his mind miles away.

"Did you find Arya?" Jon questioned his brother and for a second he questioned himself: is he my brother?

"She's in a land of strange people. Warm weather, very hot. People walk almost without clothes. "

Jon closed his eyes, controlling himself, he could not do something to protect her, but he had not slept well since the night Arya announced that she would brave unfamiliar lands, even though he knew she was better at killing than he was, that she could protect herself.

"You can’t do anything, Jon. Arya is on her own. "

"For the first time you say something I already know." He teased, tried to bring some smile to Bran's lips, but, as always, nothing.

"The festivities are being held in the  God's Woods. Sansa is waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. Have you made your decision?"

Jon knew that  Bran knew, just about everything, but he did not have the courage to say anything, or maybe justify himself. "The prince of Dorne came to me." Bran turned to Jon, wanted to intimidate his brother. "He’ll go to you too, Jon. To Ask for your permission. "

"For what?"

"To court, Sansa" Bran replied evasively, he knew Jon's question was silly and coming from tantrums generated by the recent confused feelings that were raising within the eldest.

"Sansa does not need a prince of Dorne."

With that being said, Jon left the middle hall and strode down the stairs, enjoying the essence of Sansa's scent already scattered there. Her hair was loose and unruly in curls that ran to her waist, the gold-trimmed dress covered her legs and arms, but the generous cleavage on her bust took away all the innocence that the rest of her clothing was trying to give. She had a golden crown that looked more like gold twigs united to anoint a queen. The region of the eyes was made in pastel and blue tones stronger, elongated lashes and mouth more pink than normal.

She was a forest nymph.

Jon smiled sideways without her even realizing his presence and was surprised by the fact she was waiting for him.

"Hi." He said getting closer.

Sansa raised her nose and looked him up and down. She was still upset.

"You look beautiful."

"I didn’t want to arrive alone at the festivities." She cut him off and walked ahead hoping he would come after her.

The drums were getting louder and louder along with the noise of the people dancing around the huge and numerous fires they had been able to put there.

"Sansa, there's a huge elephant between us. Let's not pretend it isn’t because it does. "

"It was you who ran away, Jon, not me."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just-"

"You just wanted to run. I know. But I am a Queen, Jon, and I have no time for a man who can't face his feelings as brave as he faces his enemies.”

She was clearly saying he was a coward and she wasn't wrong, Jon was being a coward. He recognized that too.

The conversation was cut off as the guests were already around them, greeting Sansa and Jon. They offered drinks, invited them to dance. The people there all characterized with mystical creatures of their pagan culture. The old gods, of course, were what Sansa decided to continue as the faith of her people. She wanted nothing that connected them to the South and Northerners were satisfied with that. But some still followed the culture of the new gods and though the young queen hated it, she pretended not to object. But most of her people were quite happy with her choice, they were rejecting any connection with the south and that means most of them there were not actually enjoying the presence of some lords there but everything was about politics after all.

Tormund was invited as well as some of the wildlings which meant happiness and joy was ensured there. And the big man was quite drunk and teasing everybody while he was dancing around one of the bonfires.

"Little Jon" He greeted the last King with a loud exclamation. "I heard you're betrothing the young Queen! Let's celebrate this!"

Jon was overcome by an instant fear, Sansa was right, he was always afraid of facing his feelings. God damn it!

"What do you mean?" He asked more serious than ever when the ginger man held him by his shoulders with a big smile of drunkenness at his big face.

"They are saying your smart Queen is marrying the Dorne boy."

"All lies. Sansa is marrying no Dorne man” Jon was fast with his words and much as he was harsh with his tone of voice and the anger implied there.

"So it is true? People also say she may marry you. I got say man, I always wanted to see you both together."

"When you met her, she was still my sister." Jon pointed like Tormund was saying giant shits.

"Well, you odd people who have those silly things. Love is love, Jon!"

"YEAH!"

One of the drunk ones screamed with the words of Tormund allowing Jon to realize lots of people were listening to their conversation.

The yelling raised between those around them and soon Tormund was laughing hard engaged in another stupid conversation.

Jon wishes he had all that happiness inside of him like his friend.

Sansa was far but watching Jon, unable to take her eyes from his strong shape and rough face features, trying to smile and seems lighter than he was, Sansa knew both were quite tense about everything.

"Are you listening, my Queen?" The Dorne prince, who Sansa couldn’t remember the name, asked after a long time almost talking to himself.

"I am sorry... you were saying...?"

"That I shall ask your brother's permission to court you."

Sansa blinked for a moment, assimilating what it was said, from a strange man, with odd eyes and untrustworthy smile.

Like her nightmares.

"Who said I intend to marry, my Lord?"

The man was shocked by the way Sansa was annoyed by his suggestion, he thought she would be flattered, he was a handsome man after all.

"Every  woman aspire to marry, my Lady."

"I am not any woman and I am certainly not your lady. I am a Queen. I shall be the one who will say when and with whom I intend to  marry, and when this comes to be, I shall propose to  the man myself."

She smiled with the monstrosity her words seemed to him, like an enormous sin.

"No woman propose to a man."

"Your words just made sure you're not a man to me."

He could not believe. What an arrogant and silly young woman.

"I will pretend your words were mistaken and I advised you to listen to my proposal tomorrow. If you're a Queen as you said, you'll see the political meaning of this union."

The man left quite disturbed by the little conversation he had with the queen and she was not worried about him but concerned with what he could propose that would benefit the North.

"I don't like him." Jon said appearing at her side out of nowhere.

"Me neither. But he might offer good things for us."

"You're not actually considering, are you?"

"You know.” Sansa concluded herself. “He talked to you? What an idiot, thinking a Queen needs any man's permission." After that she was sure she hated him. Very much indeed.

“Bran talked to me.” Jon clarified. "But it's your day. Let's not waste with disturbing shits."

Sansa joined her hands in front of her body and turned herself to Jon, analyzing every expression it was forming at his face while she was facing him. 

"You confuse me." She said firmly.

"I confuse myself."

Sansa blinked. What was he trying to say? What exactly did he want from her?

"You can make a wish, it's your day." Jon was referring her name day.

"I can make many wishes, Jon."

"I mean to me." He explained.

People were passing, laughing loud and talking very close to them while both were inside this sort of bubble where the air was rare, and their minds were haunted by images of their little moment last night.

"Anything?" She asked.

"Anything." He cleared.

"I wish you would be honest with me. About everything."

After a long time thinking, both of them unable to take their eyes from each other, trying at all costs to stay in the present, but with the taste of each other's lips springing up with impure desires and pleasant memories, Jon took a deep breath and offered his hand to her looking deeply at her eyes.

"Take my hand and I will promise you, I'll let you lead me to the most honest place we could ever be."

  NOTES:

1. The chapter has been revised by the most incredible D. And I love it! And the gif belongs to my bf littlegirlinvisible.

2. I am very happy with all the reach me and littlegirlinvisible are having. It may not be much for some but for me it’s a lot.

3. Reblog, like and comment if you’re enjoying.

4. You’re all free to give me prompts and ideas. I am also open to request for another works.

My fanfictions have a lot of smuts, really a lot. If you are not comfortable with this, you are warned.

Follow the tag # swan song jonsa fanfic to see the posts and the gifsets whenever you want.

p.s. did everyone liked the smut? should I do more or nah?

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I sincerely hope that everyone is enjoying it.

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CHAPTER INDEX:

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

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