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disaster-writer · 1 year ago
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Teenage Dirtbag (Part 2/3)
Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x Reader
Summary: You and Rodrick Heffley grew up right next door to each other. You’re best friends and nothing could ever change that
 at least that’s what you’ve always thought.
Word Count: 4.1k
A/N: I broke part 2 up into two so there will now be three parts to this fic
Part 1
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“This is so weird,” Greg whispered to David and Rowley, both currently sitting on either side of him, all three of them crowded around the TV as Greg played Twisted Wizard “Are they still doing it?”
Rowley glanced behind him, “Yeah
” he answered uneasily, “Did something happen?”
"Not that I know of," David shrugged.
"Me neither."
All three of them turned around again, the sight sending a chill down their spines.
It should have been just like any other Saturday. Rodrick grounded as usual. You coming over to hang out with Rodrick despite his punishment. Greg and his friends playing video games. And both parents out with Manny.
Only it wasn't like any other Saturday. Because instead of choosing to hang out in Rodrick's room or torturing the kids (which tended to be your only hobbies you could think of when one of you was grounded), both you and Rodrick were sitting on either side of the couch, an entire cushion apart and stiff as a board. You guys weren't talking-- in fact Greg could have sworn you guys haven't even looked at each other since you showed up. All you two were doing was watching the video game as well. It was so out of character for you both that the boys were completely creeped out... they were starting to wish you two were all over each other like usual just to have that sense of normalcy... even if that meant hunting them down and beating on them or making fun of them.
It was your fault really. You thought you could just show up to the Heffley's and hang out with Rodrick, pretending that nothing happened last night.
Turns out a teenage boy can't just pretend that they didn't witness their best friend dancing around completely naked. And turns out you can't just pretend your best friend didn't see you in all your glory.
You played with the rings on your fingers, fidgeting to try and distract yourself from the elephant in the room. Should you bring it up and try to laugh it off? Try and carry on as if he saw nothing? Maybe a subtle joke about making sure your blinds were closed before getting changed?
Fuck-- nothing this mortifying has ever happened to you before. 
You and your friends were practically known for being too stupid to be embarrassed about anything. There was nothing that you guys ever did that kept you from showing your faces around school. Not the time that Rodrick made a complete fool of himself at Heather's Sweet 16 and still having the audacity to ask her out right after, not the time you and the rest of Löded Diper were hanging out backstage during an assembly and you told the guys you thought Mr. Andrews was hot without knowing that the overhead mic's were on and the entire assembly heard you, and not even the time you and the guys delivered a presentation high out of your fucking minds.
But for some reason, even though Rodrick was the only other person involved, you felt liked you'd never be able to live this down.
"Cool!" David exclaimed, "My mom just texted me that she can take all of us out for ice cream right now!"
"Really!?" Rowley shouted excitedly.
"Awesome! Let's go!" Greg said, pausing the game and throwing the controller on the ground as the boys then ran for the door and got their shoes on before running outside to meet your mom.
And now... that makes two.
You both continued to sit awkwardly, twiddling your thumbs and shifting in your seats.
You don't know how much time passed before Rodrick was the one to break the silence.
"So..." you pursed your lips, waiting for the bomb, "You never told me you had a tattoo on your hip."
At that you folded in on yourself, burying your face in your hands, "Let's not do this," you groaned out, words muffled by your hands. "It's too embarrassing."
"It wasn't that bad," Rodrick tried to offer.
"Yes it was. That was completely humiliating last night."
“It could’ve been worse.”
”Yeah? How?” You grumbled into your hands.
”I mean
” he trailed off, picking at a pink thread from his jeans, “You could
 have the body of a sixty year old
”
You paused, “How would I— y’know what? Nevermind,” you stood up, “I’m gonna go. It’s too weird, maybe when we’ve both had some space—“
”No!” Rodrick grasped your wrist, stopping you short, “You don’t need to leave— I’m telling you it wasn’t that bad!”
You set your jaw, looking down at him. The sudden nervousness that radiated from him was palpable as he broke eye contact, glanced down at where his hand wrapped around your wrist and quickly let go.
”See! Right there!”
”Right there what!?” He yelled back, staring at his lap with a growing blush.
”This is weird and I’m going—“ 
Just as you took another step Rodrick shot up from his seat, “No it’s not! We just need to do something normal—once we hang out like normal we’ll forget all about it!”
”Like what?” You crossed your arms, looking at him skeptically.
”Like- like,” you watched as Rodrick frantically searched his brain for an idea, “We can go to the arcade!”
”You’re grounded dumbass,” you rolled your eyes.
”Susan’s not gonna be home for at least another three hours. We can go for two and be back and she’ll never know!”
You shifted on your feet, weighing your options. You could both get in trouble yes, but it did beat being bored at home or spending the next three hours in uncomfortable silence.
And you suppose he had a point. The event was still fresh and was just weighing heavily on your minds. Time would heal the awkward air and getting back into the swing of things would hopefully ease the awkwardness.
Pretty soon you’d both forget the entire thing even happened.
——
”What are you doing?”
Rodrick had pulled away so quickly from his blinds you would have thought they had burned him.
”Nothing you little shit— what are you doing in my room!” He had spat at Greg who stood awkwardly by his steps.
”Mom says dinner is ready— are you spying on (Y/N) or something?”
”No,” his voice cracked to which he quickly cleared, “Get out!” He scrambled to yank his shoe off which he had then chucked at his younger brother.
”Okay!” Greg yelled before stumbling down the stairs.
Rodrick Heffley was convinced that he was losing his mind. 
It had been five nights since he had witnessed you dancing around naked in your bedroom. 
In other words, it had been five nights checking to see if he could catch you dancing around naked again.
He couldn’t help it. He was a teenage boy that had never seen a girl naked that wasn’t in a magazine or online.
And until recently he didn’t even believe you had all those same
 parts as the girls he stared at.
But you did. And he saw them. And he came to the fast realization that he wanted to see them again.
And gingerly, for the umpteenth time that night, he had stuck his fingers into his blinds and pulled it down to peak through them.
You were still sitting in bed in your Löded Diper t-shirt, trying to catch up on what he assumed to be late homework.
He had truly fooled himself into thinking things could go back to normal. You had always been one of the guys— an honorable member of Löded Diper, you were practically the manager at this point. You had both grown up together and probably spent more time with each other than with your own respective siblings. 
It’s been five days, he should be past this by now.
But he wasn’t.
Instead he started to notice all the things that made you a girl— an actual breathing girl that wanted to talk to him.
He had never noticed just how girlish your laugh was, it typically ended with a snort to which he would always scrunch his nose at but as it turned out the melodic laughter that preceded those snorts was actually quite
 cute— in a way.
Even the simple gesture of you brushing your hair back behind your ear had made— what was the saying? Well, whatever it was it made him feel like moths were chewing at his stomach lining.
Or even—
“Rodrick!”
His blinds snapped shut upon removing his fingers, “I’m coming!” He called back in annoyance before stomping downstairs.
Making his way into the dining room, he found his family had already started eating without him— not that he really gave a shit. He wordlessly plopped down in his seat and picked up his fork.
He stabbed the meat on his plate and took a bite out of it, not bothering to cut it, instead opting to let the rest hang off the fork.
His mom had served chicken francese tonight.
Chicken francese was your favorite.
Rodrick grimaced— even chicken was making him think of you.
”What? You don’t like it?” Susan asked with a huff at Rodrick’s reaction.
”What? No—“
”No I don’t want to hear it. If you don’t like it that much then you might as well take it to (Y/N). At least she appreciates my cooking.”
“I can go over to (Y/N)’s? Even though I’m grounded?” He suddenly asked with a mouth full of food and an eagerness that was making Frank raise his eyebrow. He looked about ready to jump out of his seat and run out the front door.
“No!” Susan snapped, affronted, “Eat your dinner. And don’t talk with your mouth full.”
Rodrick seemed to deflate, picking up the fork he had dropped onto his plate and taking another bite.
A silence fell over the family, the sounds of metal scratching against ceramic and chewing filling the space.
That was until Frank cleared his throat, “So, uh, speaking of (Y/N)
” Rodrick’s head snapped up towards his father in terror, and he shifted nervously
 there was no way he actually knew what had happened right? “You two seem closer
” he trailed off awkwardly.
Rodrick glanced at Greg who started snickering— did he know something? Did he tell their dad he had seen you naked? Or maybe that he caught him peeping on you through his blinds before?
He kicked him hard under the table, making the plates and cutlery rattle atop the table.
“Ow!” Greg cried.
”Rodrick!” Susan reprimanded.
”We’ve always been close,” Rodrick answered, ignoring his mom, “Everyone knows that,” he said with an awkward laugh.
”Yeah, but l mean recently—“
”Recently what? Nothing’s changed recently, everything’s the same,” he rambled, scratching the back of his ear with a blush he prayed no one saw.
”Okay, look,” Frank lowered his voice, leaning towards his son, “I wanted to have this conversation in private but your mother—“
”(Y/N) is like family so I think this should be discussed as a family.”
Rodrick’s eyes widened as he realized what was happening, he glanced at Greg who looked like it was Christmas morning.
”Are you and (Y/N) dating?” Susan asked.
Greg immediately started laughing.
”What? No—“ he looked back and forth between his parents, “It’s (Y/N)— that would be gross, y’know, ew—“ he spluttered, though not as convincingly as he would have a week ago.
”Are you sure?” Frank asked— he clearly wasn’t buying it. “Because your mother brought up a good point the other day. Did something happen between you two over the summer when you went on vacation with your friends?”
Okay, now he was confused.
”Huh?” 
“Because it’s okay if it did,” Susan interjected, “We all love (Y/N), right Greg?”
”Yeah, I guess,” he grumbled with a shrug, stabbing his own chicken.
”Nothing happened on vacation,” Rodrick answered honestly— why would they even think that?
”You’re sure?” Frank asked, “Because you two seem to be a lot closer since that trip.”
Rodrick had to disagree. Nothing happened on that trip. It was mainly spent at Ben’s family’s lake house where you all spent every night getting drunk and every morning hungover. And sure maybe he learned a lot about you and his other friends during that trip as everyone had loose lips due to the alcohol— and okay maybe there was that one really drunken night you and Rodrick ended up getting stuck in the bathroom because the door got jammed but neither of you could remember that night anyway, it was mostly the morning when you both woke up cuddling in the bathtub that—
Rodrick’s face flushed with the memory. 
And that had never happened before, but now the thought of you cuddled up to him with nothing more than a few layers of clothing separating the two of you
— and now he was thinking about you naked again.
Frank looked to Susan at his reaction. It seemed he was getting somewhere.
”Rodrick?” He questioned, trying to get his son to look at him.
His eyes snapped to his father’s as his mouth gaped like a fish, he suddenly shot out of his chair.
”God— what’s with the third degree! We’re just friends” He exclaimed, shrilly, grabbing his dinner and fork, “I plead the fifth!” He was then running back upstairs to his room, leaving his family in stunned silence.
Susan nodded, sure of herself now, “Frank, I think it’s time you had the talk with him—“
”Uh, can I go?” Greg asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
”No, finish your dinner.”
”But Rodrick left—“
”He’s going through a lot of emotions right now, you’ll understand when you’re his age,” she turned back to her husband.
”I’m pretty sure the school gives those talks now, honey,” Frank said uncomfortably.
”Yes, but it’s different when it’s coming from the parents. It might actually be best if we talked to her parents as well and sat the two of them down all together.”
Frank stared at his wife in utter shock
 the ideas this woman comes up with

* * * *
Rodrick ran upstairs, slamming his door shut before landing on his bed and shoveling the food on his plate into his mouth with a sneer as his parents words chirped endlessly in his head.
You and him have always been close, there was zero change in that after that trip. They were just delusional.
Just like there was zero change in your relationship after he saw you naked. Like yeah, maybe he did want to see you naked again but that wasn’t any indication that your relationship changed—
There was a tap at his window.
He dropped his plate on top of his bed, getting green beans and sauce all over his blankets, before practically stumbling over his own two feet to get the blinds up.
There you were, sitting on your roof with a handful of thumbs tacks that you used to throw at his window.
You jumped at his abruptness, hand already poised to throw another thumb tack.
He opened his window, “What?”
You ignored his odd behavior, he was always a weirdo anyways. 
“Bill invited us to go hang in his basement.”
”But I’m grounded.”
”So?” You scoffed.
”Right now? My family’s still up.”
”We can sneak out in like an hour then,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m going whether or not you’re coming.”
”Alright fine,” he hissed, “We can go in an hour.”
”Nice.”
After an hour of waiting and listening to his family get ready for bed from downstairs, Rodrick threw on a hoodie and slipped his sneakers on, and found himself climbing out of his window and onto the roof.
You hadn’t been far behind, not bothering to change out of your pajama shorts and Löded Diper t-shirt, instead adding your own sneakers and a zip up.
Rodrick climbed down the tree between your windows before you did, grabbing onto your waist and helping you down the rest of the way like he has many times before.
But his hands had never burned at the touch before.
”Okay, let’s go,” you said, grabbing onto his wrist and tugging him towards your car.
He stared at your hand wrapped around his wrist.
Have you two always touched this much?
His cheeks felt like they were on fire from all the blood rushing to his head.
Rushing into the car you slammed your doors shut and turned it on, before peeling out of the spot you were parked in in front of your house and down the street.
On the way to Bill’s you almost crashed twice, which was less than usual so you considered it a pretty decent drive.
Parking in front of Bill’s you went to the side door that led straight into the basement he lived in.
His parents must have been out because they always hated when he invited you guys over— something about Bill hanging out with high schoolers not being appropriate.
You skipped down the steps with Rodrick in tow.
”Hello losers!” You greeted, making the others say their own hello’s.
Ben lit up, “Hello, legs,” he said in awe, seeing your bare legs descend the steps before seeing the rest of you.
”Ew,” you rolled your eyes, jumping on Bill’s couch, kicking your feet up on the coffee table, reaching over for the open bag of chips by your feet.
Bill had been laying in his bed while Ben and Chris sat on the floor playing some card game.
Rodrick sat beside you, reaching a hand into the chip bag you offered him.
”So what are we doing?” Rodrick asked.
Bill shrugged, “Dunno. I was bored and my family’s out.”
”So you invited us to be bored with you?” You asked, raising a brow.
”Nooo,” he dragged out, “I invited you to entertain me.”
You rolled your eyes, standing back up and making your way to his mini fridge, “Got any beers?” You asked, pulling the door open. Your eyes lit up as they landed on his stash.
Turns out he only had beer. 
You took one out and cracked it open, you grabbed another and tossed it to Rodrick to which he fumbled with a couple times before catching it.
”You didn’t tell us you had beer,” Ben said excitedly, scrambling from his spot on the ground and grabbing the two beers for him and Chris you handed him.
”You saw me drinking for the last hour,” Bill furrowed his eyebrows.
”So how’s the grounding going?” Chris called over his shoulder, taking his drink from Ben as he sat back down.
You took a swig of your own, plopping back down besides Rodrick.
”Well I’m here right now so I’d say it’s going pretty great,” he muttered.
”Susan’s been micromanaging him all week,” you also answered, “So we probably only have about an hour before she goes to check on him.”
”That blows,” Bill said, “Hey,” he suddenly said, getting an idea, “Maybe you should try getting grounded less.”
”Yeah, I’ll work right on that.” 
The next fifteen minutes were filled with idle chit chat about the band and a couple parties that were coming up.
“Again?” Ben scoffed, throwing his cards down. “This is rigged,” He got up from his game.
”Or maybe you just suck,” Chris laughed, grinning as he won yet again, sprawling out on the floor as it seemed they were done for the night, but not before taking a drink of his beer.
Ben made his way over to you, squeezing himself in the tight space between you and the arm rest of the couch, throwing an arm around your shoulders.
You rolled your eyes, scooching over towards Rodrick a bit.
”Soooo,” Ben said, dragging the word out.
”Yesss,” you mimicked.
”I saw you talking to Heather Hills today, what was that about?”
”Oh that?” You scoffed, “I have to work with her on some stupid project. She was telling me I have to pull my own weight on it because she’s not risking a bad grade because ‘I don’t take shit seriously’ or whatever she said— but I don’t exactly see that Princess studying and working hard either so I don’t think she has any right talking to me like that. Glass stones, y’know.”
”Uh-huh,” Ben said, clearly ignoring your rant, “So you’ll be seeing and talking to her regularly?”
”I guess so, we’re working on it in class.”
”Any chance my name can come up in these talks?”
Oh right, that’s where this was going, cause every fucking male in this goddamn school had a hard on for the brat. 
“Slim to none,” you answered, “Besides, I promised Rodrick here,” you slapped his knee, making him jump at the touch to which you ignored, “That I’d wingman for him if the opportunity ever came up.”
”He doesn’t mind! Right Rodrick!” He leaned over you to look at his best friend. He didn’t respond, “Rodrick?” He followed Rodrick’s gaze right to your legs, “Hey! Are you staring at my girl!?”
You scoffed, pushing his head back, and moving away from him and towards Rodrick, “How are you already drunk? Knock it off with that ‘my girl’ crap.”
”He was staring at you! Why am I getting yelled at!?”
”I wasn’t staring!” Rodrick yelped, voice cracking a red blush covering his face.
You looked back and forth between the two boys before standing up, your mood souring, “I’m gonna go pee, both of you cool it with the testosterone or I’m leaving.” You grumbled, marching out of the basement and to the bathroom upstairs. The one in Bill’s room was disgusting.
“What’s up with you,” Ben asked, looking at Rodrick peculiarly, “Why the fuck are you so red?”
”God— it’s nothing,” he grunted, “It’s a sunburn.”
”Bullshit,” Chris called out, “You’re blushing!”
“Oh I see,” Bill said with a laugh, “He’s finally coming around to (Y/N). Don’t see her as one of the boys anymore, do ya?”
”Will all of you just shut up,” Rodrick snapped, “I don’t like her like that.”
”No one said anything about liking anybody.” 
“But now we’re all thinking you do,” Ben said, raising a brow before an idea popped in his head, shooting up from his seat and pointing an accusing finger at him, “Something happened between you two!” A wide grin stretched across his face.
Bill and Chris were sitting up now.
”I knew it!” Bill laughed, “You two follow each other around like dogs.”
”What happened?” Chris pressed.
Fuck, fuck, fuck— he knows he shouldn’t say anything—
“I saw her naked,” he blurted, his own mouth out of his control.
Well fuck—
Chris and Bill shot to their feet as well, with exclamations on all three of his friends lips.
“How!?”
”When!?”
”Did you have sex!?”
”She forgot to close her blinds a few nights ago.”
Why won’t he shut up.
He guessed it was only a matter of time he’d eventually explode with this information as it was getting harder and harder each day to put it behind him.
”Is she hot!?” Chris exclaimed.
All Rodrick could do was nod guiltily as he continued to divulge more and more information.
All of them cheered again, Ben and Chris practically tackling him as they clapped his back and ruffled his hair in praise.
”What was she doing? Getting changed?” 
“She came out of the shower and was dancing to whatever music she was listening to while looking for her pajamas.” Starting to grin slightly at the praise he was receiving.
Ben fell to his knees at that, “So you saw,” he swallowed, “Her,” he gestured to his chest area, “Jiggling?”
”Yeah,” he said breathlessly at the memory.
”Does she know?” Bill asked.
”We made direct eye contact.” 
”What’d she do?” Chris now asked.
”As soon as our eyes met we both kinda screamed and I ran out of my room. But we talked it over the next day and everything’s all good.”
”Everything was all good.”
All four guys snapped their sights towards the staircase where you stood with your arms crossed.
”Really Rodrick?” You scoffed, clearly hurt. “What the fuck?”
”(Y/N)!” He stood up now. “I— uh,” he struggled to find the words.
You looked to each of your ‘friends’. “You’re all fucking assholes. Especially you Rodrick, have fun walking home.” 
With that all four watched you climb the rest of the stairs before slamming the door shut behind you.
Rodrick groaned.
”Shit.”
————————————————————————
Part 3 Coming Soon

————
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