#Do happy...very fulfilled...

[ysaefinn]

DOLLNON ART???? Where do you wanna have the venue?? I got rings picked out and everything name a time and place!!!

ALSO! Your design is so so so close to my actual design like thats my sona that's me dollnon 0_0 valentine are you in my walls or has suguru love synced our brains i wanna print this art out and eat it!!!!!

-🦇

I WAS CLOSE??????

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO‼️‼️‼️‼️🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

If u look at the fingers and elbow that was me trying to incorporate some "doll" elements (ik its not the meaning in this context WHICH IS WHY!!!!!!!! I gave u a lot of frills and jewelry) i was really hesitant to add in mire crosses cuz you never know...you never know

ANON I WILL MARRY YOU ONOY IF I GET TO WEAR A GOWN (i will back down if u ask me to lmfaoo)

I think we are tho i think we're spiritually connected THROUGH SUGURU and he brought us together some how...

[dykedvonte]

Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.

We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.

Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.

He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?

I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?

[smile-files]

mommy let you use her ipad, you were barely two

and it did all the things we designed it to do

now look at you, look at you!

(objectober 2024 day 10: internet)

[sivsii]

self portrait before work

[canisalbus]

Is that canon!?! Was Machete just really naive/didn't really understand the implications of his relationship to Vasco? Did his mentor ever find out about them or discuss such things with him? I assume bc he didn't have parents, he kinda didn't get educated on sex or anything. Was it a big shock to realize he was "sinning"?

.

[teacup-captor]

Hm. Quick someone call me David please and thank you?

[arom-antix]

Viktuuri week day 3: Home

[saintjasperira]

just me and my 15 wikipedia tabs

[itsmyregularcat]

Look at how cool these are!

They are (likely one-off) prints of two of @jelliclehell's Cats 2019 art pieces made just for me, plus a bonus cute-as-all-hell caked up Victoria sketch.

It is special to me to have to 2019 Jellylorum and Tantomile art as a print, because it was a special request I made from jelliclehell a few years. Plus, those two are my faves from the movie, so I am very happy to have some great art of them. Keena (the artist) made them both look so damn good, and I love how they captured both queens.

The Mungo, Rumple, and Victoria art is really cool too, as it perfectly captures the scene from the movie in a unique art style. The colours and posing are wonderful.

You are very welcome Keena for the support. Thanks for letting me purchase these, and thanks being a friendly contact in and out of the Cats fandom for years at this point.

As always, 2019 trash (now and) forever.

[lunarharp]

figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..

[ysaefinn]

Val I need to overshare a bit with u cuz I kinda think u should know, I'm agoraphobic and am scared to death with interacting with anyone ever even online especially someone in my age range (I'm assuming you're older by a few years but still in my age range) cuz of bullying and you're literally the only one I EVER interact with cuz you don't make me scared to death and I think I need to share with u how important that is to me and I need to thank you for existing cuz when I'm better you're definitely gonna be one of the reasons for it

SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EXISTING AND BEING NICE AND LIKE CREATING A SAFE PLACE FOR ME TO EXIST AND INTERACT WITH U I LOVE U SO MUCH

(Also your mommy sugu definitely helped too ngl)

SHAKING AND CRYING AND SHITTING AND PISSING AND THROWING UP!!!!!!!!!! HELLOLOOO?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!!? I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS FOR AS LONG AS A FUCKING LIUIVEE EEUUUEGEHEGEHEGEHGEHEEUEGEUEGEUEH TATATATATATATATATATATATAT SWEET SWEET SWEET WEEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU FOR BEING ABLE TO GO FORWARD WITH THIS YOU SWEET PRECIOUS ANGEL I WILL SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU JUST YOU WAIT!!!!

THIS WILL FOREVER BE A SPACE FOR YOU I PROMISE YOU THIS I PUT IT ON MY MAMA!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU MORE AND I ALWAYS WILL YOU HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART WE ARE SPIRITUALLY INTERTWINED!!!!!

[habibisagi]

blue lock men get a little too excited and creative and also serious if you ask them the silly question "would you still love me if i was a worm?" btw

[yaoiadderall]

ok i’m gonna be real here. i don’t get people who vehemently hate the mcelroy brothers and everything they’re associated with. it’s one thing to just not enjoy their content/humor/media presence but ive seen so many people go full on “these guys suck so bad and anyone who enjoys their stuff is an idiot and they’re cringe losers.” a lot of times its former fans. and it just makes me think about how deeply sad and insecure that person must be, to be so desperate to feel superior to random people who find joy in something ultimately harmless.

[eggsistential-basket]

thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way

[thegreatyin]

How would the Scoundrel react to Miss Emilia Stone, do you think? To give you an idea of who she is, the Threadbare Outrider is one of the alternate identities of Barnabus Moss, and possibly the closest to who he actually is - he's only still an egg because he's too busy with his job to give too much of a shit about being trans right now.

She is functionally the Hyde identity; open revolutionary, Parabolan wanderer, purveyor of extreme and generally unnecessary violence. I also considered naming her the Extremely Unlicensed Silverer - she has never actually fulfilled the requirements to become a proper silverer (she thinks the sunglasses look kind of dumb) but she offers equivalent services for cut-rate prices to people who can't afford a "real professional."

In terms of her actual personality, she is... frighteningly happy. To steal a phrase, she wields her joy like a hammer; judiciously and with great violence. Moss is basically drunk on life whenever he's her, and it very much shows. She is a release valve on all of his life's worries - whenever he gets too pissed off at his life as Moss or Haversham or the spy, he can just duck into Parabola and gut a few chessmen with a meathook to unwind.

Correspondingly, he gets really irritated under the hood when she has to act consistent with the persona rather than how he actually feels - for example, Emilia is the kind of person who doesn't really dislike anyone, so when someone pisses him off she can't really show it without breaking the cheer, and it is thoroughly upsetting to him.

I think original flavour Moss would probably be fascinated by the Scoundrel, from a professional standpoint - he has a degree in the Correspondence and the whole bat thing is very interesting - whilst simultaneously being deeply, deeply exhausted by the man's life choices. Meanwhile I think Emilia would enjoy doing this to him.

Thoughts?

first of all, love the OC dissertation, chewing ur little guy like a gummy bear as we speak

second of all, the scoundrel would probably react the same as they always do- with overwhelmingly smug manners and more than a little bit of "i'm better than you and i'm being generous and indulging you by existing in your presence"... at least at first.

depending on how their interactions go from there, the scoundrel would either be delightfully open to infodumping about the bat thing to the point of tedium, or needlessly spiteful for Literally No Reason aside from a vague sense of pettiness and jealousy. how dare she get to be so damnably happy all the time, how dare she act so damnably carefree about it, etcetera etcetera. whether or not they'd like to admit it, i could see them holding a grudge against emilia purely on the principle of (supposedly) having everything they've ever wanted.

which is to say, they absolutely get scrunched like a cat, and they are biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + biting her + b

[not-poignant]

Are Sebastian and Alex going to learn about bdsm and safe practices/negotiation? Or do they keep fumbling around and doing what they're doing?

Hi anon,

People who learn about BDSM don't necessarily practice safe practices or negotiation.

And there are elements of negotiation in this story! It's not a black and white 'they're not doing this in a paint-by-numbers sort of way and therefore it doesn't count' situation, y'know?

They are two characters in their mid-20s who live in a tiny town, one of those characters is dyslexic to the point that he can barely read, and the other's method of doing things has worked for him all his life (or so he thinks), they don't have any reason/s to learn about BDSM, and it's not likely that either of them ever will.

That also doesn't mean that they can't enjoy their kinky sex life.

There has been a lot of discussion already, and there will be more and more going forwards. It might not be at the level most people want, but Sebastian has certainly obtained consent (more than once), offered and then insisted on debriefs and post-sex discussion, explained to Alex how to communicate if he hates something, and made it clear that what he likes is unusual and sadistic in nature. It's also clear that Alex likes being pushed, i.e. - not being forced to give consent in every circumstance when someone can take control and give him what he wants anyway. That's actually pretty common in some people with a child abuse background who become people pleasers.

If you want negotiation + safe practices at a certain level, you'd have to completely remake Alex's character into someone who can magically be a functional, communicative, healthy human being, and he's not that. Alex is getting better at communicating (that's how we go this far in the story in the first place), but if you expect this story to end on Alex being a perfect human who can do Instagram-level kink negotiation, then no, this isn't the story you want, anon.

If you look deeper and don't expect cookie cutter kinds of dialogue, there has been ongoing negotiation in the story since the early chapters. When Alex makes it clear through physical response and then verbal that he doesn't like yelling, Sebastian stops yelling. When Sebastian makes it clear that he has complicated feelings about hiring his ex-school bully as a cleaner, Alex makes it clear that he doesn't share those complicated feelings, especially in light of the pay rate. Sebastian consenting to Alex being his cleaner makes it clear that those terms are acceptable to him.

When Alex tries to undervalue himself, Sebastian makes it clear that he's not comfortable paying someone less simply because they value themselves less. When Alex then takes that pay, it's a form of consent to Sebastian's attitudes. Their relationship has been an ongoing negotiation since the beginning, and that's how they've grown closer. If you're used to only looking for very obvious signs of negotiation, it might be easy to miss the non-verbal and subtle forms of negotiation that are happening.

For example, it might not seem like it, but Sebastian - many chapters ago now - talking about how he likes control in the bedroom and that turning Alex on long before they'd ever shared anything sexual together, is a form of communication. Alex learns he likes the idea of it without it ever been forced on him, and Sebastian wouldn't have that conversation with someone he didn't trust (for example, Alex in the beginning of the story). They had to have trust to have that conversation, Alex had to have trust to ask Sebastian questions about it in the oblique way he did, and they had to share a common comfortability have a conversation in that direction in the first place.

In A Stain that Won't Dissolve, these things don't look like a psychologist's version of: 'Okay, what do you want, and this is what I want, and here's where we meet in the middle' - a lot of life doesn't look like this (but if you want that, I've written that in Falling Falling Stars - it still has dubious consent though, lol). Both Alex and Sebastian have poor communication on their side, and it's a growth story for the two of them.

But no, I have no intention of Sebastian ever learning terms like 'subspace' or 'RACK' or anything like that. A lot of people in the world, especially prior to easy access to the internet, figured this stuff out on their own and many of them made it work even without the rigid or codified structures of the world of BDSM (and some of those people went on to invent the world of BDSM that we take for granted today).

It's the kinks that make you kinky, not the knowledge of an acronym or the world it engenders.

There's also no reason to think that Sebastian has access to a healthy education about BDSM there, it's not like Elliott was practicing much healthy BDSM in my other Stardew fic, The Wind that Cuts the Night, :D Elliott knew all about safe practices, negotiation, and BDSM, and chose to ignore a lot of the safe stuff over messing around more dangerously.

The fumbling around is the point, basically. Growing up is messy, and dubious consent is hot (for some of us), and there are many ways we communicate with the people around us, especially when it's two guys in a town the valourises machismo and stoicism over emotional openness, and one of those guys was beaten by his father over not being macho and strong enough which makes him exceptionally resistant to communicating clearly even about basic subjects and needs.

That's the part I actually really love about this story.