#FORDS RLY EXCITED FACE!!!

[curufiin]

u have been gracing my dash w curufin/eol today and i must admit i have never rly thought about them.... but i am interested.... do u have any thoughts and or content to share

HELLO SORRY FOR ANSWERING LATE I got a bit carried away + had to drive for a few hours but. Yes i do >:)

woe! Bullet points be upon ye!

So first off I actually think it’s super interesting that Curufin knows Eöl by name. Curufin has absolutely no reason to know any of the Sindar save some of the royals, and clearly Eöl was living in Nan Elmoth for quite a while before the Noldor showed up in East Beleriand, which means further that Curufin literally would have no way of knowing him realistically.

Except this curious coincidence: Curufin’s knife was gifted to him by Telchar, a dwarf of Nogrod (in other sources it was a dwarf of Belegost, but the point is Curufin is clearly buddy buddy with the dwarves). Curufin also speaks fluent Khuzdul: “…but Curufin was most interested in the alien language of the Dwarves, being the only one of the Noldor to win their friendship. It was from him that the loremasters obtained such knowledge as they could of the Khuzdul.” (Peoples of Middle Earth) (i’m so fucking obsessed with this too just saying. oh curufin…)

Eöl was also, notably, a dwarf friend: “Now the traffic of the Dwarves down from the Blue Mountains followed two roads across East Beleriand, and the northern way, going towards the Fords of Aros, passed nigh to Nan Elmoth; and there Eöl would meet the Naugrim and hold converse with them. And as their friendship grew he would at times go and dwell as guest in the deep mansions of Nogrod or Belegost.” (Of Maeglin)

We can also assume that Curufin was likely a guest in dwarven halls as well, since the Dwarves were notoriously secretive about their language. If they let some elf learn it to the point where he is the de facto Dwarf Language Guy for literally everything we know about Khuzdul, it’s more than likely Curufin’s stayed in their cities too.

But wait… zoom in. See that? Eöl dwelled in Nogrod. Which dwarven city did Telchar come from? Nogrod. Hmmmmmmm……

And so begins their fated meeting…

I think Curufin was actually pretty amicable with Eöl at first. He knew literally no one else who shared his interest in Khuzdul, and I don’t think Maedhros was really all that notable of a dwarf friend, at least not in the sense of whatever dwarf autism Curufin has. So he was pretty excited to meet a guy who also thinks these people are amazing and cool.

Maybe Eöl shared the same sentiments! Maybe he’ll finally meet someone who’s like him. And then he learns this is The Kinslayer Of The Noldor. The Boat Burner (if you HC that only Curufin participated in the ship burnings because of that one line from shibboleth of feanor).

From that day forward, they hated eachother forever.

Okay onto actual shippy thoughts LOL. Tbh I like my ships to be funny and lighthearted because it’s just more fun that way. Curufin can’t stand Eöl but also he has to admit that Eöl is, factually speaking, a talented smith. His real obsession with Eöl began when he found out Eöl invented a metal.

What???!?!?!?!? INVENTED A METAL?????? He can’t get out-smithed by some fucking Sinda loser who lives in a forest and kidnaps wives for fun!!!! So he spends a LOT of time in Nogrod trying to snoop around and find out how Eöl made his metal and how he could possibly recreate it but maybe better.

Also the dwarves absolutely know these two have some kind of fucked up homoerotic tension and they constantly bet on who’s going to say something weirdly gay or if they’ll get together or not etc etc. They think it’s the funniest shit ever. Neither ot them are aware of this

The worst part for Curufin is that Eöl is absolutely his type. Tall elf?? High kin of the Teleri???? Noble but grim of face?????? Piercing eyes that can see deep into shadow and dark places?!?!?!!?! God just fuck him already

I also hc curufin as being in denial about the fact he is gay LMAO so there’s another thing. he’s so into eol but he can’t even admit it because that would mean… nay… he shall not think about it…

Unfortunately for Curvo he’s stared at Eöl weirdly far too many times and maybe caught Eöl in a more casual smithing outfit with his sleeves rolled up and his chiseled arms out and ohh my god……….

Celegorm hates EVERYTHING about this btw. The SECOND he found out Curufin was into this guy he was ready to dropkick his brother into the sun

I have an AU with some friends where Aredhel books it from Nan Elmoth by herself and Curufin ends up there somehow and basically becomes Eöl’s new divorced spouse and they argue every single day. But that’s also how they flirt

Also I think Curufin is the exact right type of obnoxious for Eöl because Curufin is actually not that tall or menacing nor does he have Fëanor’s presence. He’s just some lanky short guy who thinks he’s tough shit and it’s both fascinating to watch and infuriating to be around. And worst of all Curufin is 1. Feminine 2. Good looking 3. Vaguely Looks Like Aredhel If You Pretend He Isn’t A Guy

And omg he has these beautiful curls and eyes that shine like stars and an intensity about him and Wow He Wants To Smash Curvo With Hammers

Yeah this is my ideal eol/curufin dynamic LMAO they’re in love. they can’t stand eachother. eol is curufin’s beloathed and curufin is eol’s boyfiend. They are not gay.

Also in said AU Eol is nicer to Celebrimbor than he is to Maeglin which… yeah…….

@maironsbigboobs wrote this fic about these two and augrhhhhh it’s so!!! It’s so good!!! And this one!!!!! Actually you should just go read heather’s eol hcs bc it turned me from an eol hater to an eol lover

AGHHHHHHH

I think these lines describe them best: “It filled Eöl with the overwhelming desire to possess him, to hoard him away like the treasure of a great king.” // “But... he found himself reluctant to flee. It was not that he was fond of Eöl, no, but he would miss the company of a fellow craftsman. None in Himlad could have the same long conversations on metal properties and shaping methods. He had friends among the Dwarves who could, but they were Eöl’s friends too, and he would hate for murder to come between him and Telchar’s kin. Yes. He stayed for politics, nothing else.”

They’re just so… fucking delusional…….

Also @littlewhitemouseagain wrote this incredible fic that i also indulged in and oh my GOD it’s so fucking good. Like. this is THE fic i would send you if you said show me one and only one fic to convince me curufin/eol is great actually. i mean shit i rarely read fic that isn’t written by friends but this is genuinely amazing so. Please read it!!! It fits my vision of eol and curufin exactly!! I can’t stand them!!! I’m gonna lose my mind HAHAHA

Okay post over pack it up boys i wish i had art to show but man even drawing angbang took my soul and then some LOL maybe i’ll have real ship art one day… but you can always snoop at my curvo and eol threads with heather i welcome all snooping

EDIT: OKAY WAIT ONE MORE BULLET but for more Serious Ship Lovers: basically their whole thing is that they’re Really similar to eachother and Curufin Loves people who are like him (and so does Eöl given. Everything about him). And they’re drawn in by both fascination with the other and also mutual hatred except i think both of them are Very possessive. When Curufin loves someone he needs to Have Them Forever. he can’t stand the idea of not being someone’s absolute favorite and biggest priority in life. Eöl also happens to be crazy possessive to the point of murder. But they’re also toxic and awful to eachother and mean and hate admitting their faults. Except they’re also just so obviously messed up that yeah… There’s a lot to work with if you like fucked up angbang style ships >:)

[fictionalhoedown]

Stanford Pines x Self-Insert

Summary ;; Ford Pines discovers a strange glowing red flower, obviously he brings it back to the shack to bring it underground and study it. But Stanley has other plans, seeing it as a business opportunity, but of course he messes it up

~~~~ (I'm sorry I forgot to use they/them pronouns so this is a Stan x female self insert)~~~~

EdIt;: Im rly sorry if its bad, its been a long while since I wrote fanfic but I love this man to death I need this ;( y'all would tell me if this is shit or not right? pls hlp

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Stanley's POV

Ford comes barreling in with something glowing red in his hands "the hell is that?" his brother didn't reply, instead he neatly stacked his books and gently places on the diner table a black pot with a large glowing flower.

Similar to a Lily, three long tubes with large pollen balls on each end gently emited small visible spores. I get irritated that he's ignoring me, again, and turn the tv off to lessen the noise "hey dick face!".

He looks at me with the highest form of disrespect, "Can you please tell me what the hell that thing is doing in my living room?" Ford huffed and straightened his glasses.

"techniqly this is my house Stanley. secondly! I don't know! I found it today. But I do know that I need to drive to my lab and retrieve some nessecary equipment items that I think would be beneficial of concealing this thing until I can learn more~"

The nerdy Pine brother looked 'too' excited about this research, "riiiiight, because playing with a flower is scientific?" my brother groans again "god why are you so childish! Just let me be happy about this discovery" I held my hands up in defense.

As he packed somethings up, he takes a step and looks at me very seriously, "listen Stan, I'm gonna be gone a while. Please, do not sell the damn flower in your freak shop. And more importantly. Do. Not. Touch. It."

I look back at the flower, everything about it calling to me to not sell it but cause general mischief for my brother and his nerdy hobbies. "yeah yeah, I promise! Jeez, you really think so low of your own blood?" he rolls his eyes and exits the living room with a sarcastic "yes.".

_______________

Self-Insert's POV

My cold wet hair dripped down my hot skin, I wrapped the towel around my chest, securing it well, then clipping the bottom, for no unnecessary 'drafts' of wind.

I combed my hair back out of my face and misted some perfume on before leaving the bathroom with the intention of going to my room and getting dressed. Until, !CRASH!

Rushing down the stairs with zero regards for slipping on my ass, I make it to the bottom to find Stanley Pines, my dear close friend, face covered in what looked like red spray paint and a broken flower pot with soil on the ground.

"Stan! What the- " I run to his side, holding his face with my hands to inspect the damage. I sprint to the kitchen and get some wet paper towels, trying to gently remove the mystery color from his face.

"Yeah yeah I know, Ford told me not to touch it already. But I didn't techniqly!" As I am dabbing his nose with the wet towel I give him a 'bruh' look. He protests "I'm serious! That damn flower basically farted this stuff in my face!" I laugh at his explanation.

As I finish cleaning the last of the flower spores from his eyes and nose, I notice an unfamiliar heat radiating from him like he was a mobile fireplace. Looking at his face, I see without the spores he is very flushed and red faces, a gentle sweat beginning at his bushy silver brows.

I put my lips to his forehead to feel his temperture, only to be met with an iron skillet burning my face, "Ow! Good Lord, how are you still alive! Your burning like grits with no butter!" I push the hair from his dripping face, to better see, he seems shy and sheepish? Stanley Pines? Shy?

Stanley's POV

I can't handle it, god this was such a mistake, I should have listened to Ford! Her glowing skin was the only thing I could pay attention to, as she spoke it was like how adults speak in cartoons.

When she was cleaning my eyes with the paper towel, I felt her breath, it sent chills through my whole body, like I was a teenager again! Her neck looked so... exposed... My body was turning up the heat like it was thanksgiving day.

I unconsciously trailed my eyes downward, (Self-Insert) continued her health assessment check with me, all my senses got more and more sensative. The TV volume was on low but it sounded like it was wracking inside my skull.

The living room light looked so bright and yellow for my eyes, I thought they were gonna dry away to dust. (Self-Insert)'s smell, fueling me into my lungs and straight to my member, so sweet, like honey and vanilla.

Her touch, as she nervously holds onto my arm for foundation, I can't think about anything else but the electrical storm going on with her beautiful body being pressed up against my old ass having a stroke on the floor in my fucking boxers. Real charming Stanley.

I unknowingly found myself gripping her wrist to bring her closer, hooking my arm around her waist and cupping each hip perversely. "T-Toots-... I can't... think... I don't think I... can even breath right now... but-" looking up deep into her eyes, the tent on me rises high to the sky.

Self-Insert's POV

The elder man aggressively shoved me, falling to my back but not hitting my head, thanks to his hand engulfing the back of my skull. Stanley's arms were firmly planted next to my head, his girtle not present but his very, very large lower half pushing past my legs, nothing but the thin blue and white striped cloth gently laying against my womanhood like a dog sitting on top of the bun.

"I can't explain how much I want- no..." Stanley falls forward, dipping his head to my throat like he's gonna rip it all out, "Need you~" I watch carefully, scared but, weirdly excited? His giant hands engulfing my wrists, the heart violently beating against his palm, "Stan." I say, to try and get his attention.

Suddenly rocking his hips to an imaginary song, he shifted his hands from my wrists to my biceps, pushing his weight on me as both our pre-cum juices covered and soaked his boxers. I couldn't run, the man was 5x larger than me, and I mean, It's not like it doesn't feel good~

Stanley grunted exhastedly, looking like a horny boy humping his pillow. The stubble on his face scratched all over me as he open mouth licked me like a loli-pop and drunkenly sucked hickies from my throat to my collarbones, he kept saying stuff like "I swear. you taste so good.", "I wish I could eat you like cake~", "say my name again, and I think I'll bust".

Gently removing himself from licking my neck, Stan suddenly rips my towel open, my no longer steaming body, hitting the freezing cold ac air of the mystery shack. Not saying a word, a small dripple of saliva dripping from his lip as sweat poured from his face.

His calloused fingers found their way to my chest with no hesitation, picking each bud with his pointer and thumb and rolling them around, my breath hitched as he pulled and let them fall back watching the buds grow stuffer and pinker "pretty, pink, buds" he murmurs.

While he gawked and played with my titties, I open my legs a bit more, adding to the closeness, his shaft firmly pressed to my soaking entrance. Reaching for the elastic of his boxers, I stick my thumbs in, circling around his waist and intending to push them down, feeling his swelled tip bed for attention.

!!EHEM!!-

Stanley's POV

(Self-Insert) sat in my lap as we watched my favorite romantic drama movie, my brother sat at the table next to us, toying with his glowing flower, that surprisingly lived.

Ford gagged once more, like he did for the 100th time, "I fucking hate you Stanley.".

I groan and drop my arm from the air dramatically, "Jesus fucking Christ Ford I already said I was in the wrong and I was sorry. How was I supposed to know it was gonna spit some sexy love juice in my face!" (Self-Insert) chuckled nervously as her face turned beat read again.

"Lets all of us just forget it okay. Please? Ugh~"

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I"M SO SORRY THAT WAS BAD- It was rushed and I'm finishing this at one thirty In the morning- AND I ALSO WORK- the lengths I go for horniness...

pls like...

<3

[optimisticvirtuoso]

Ah! AAAAAHH!!!

finally got around to finishing this. Definitely wanna keep drawing the boys out and about exploring

(click for better quality)