#Fic: Undefined Desires

[timeskip]

I'm a little nervous to edit the end of An Undefined Truth, because that means *the end.* I started writing it around 10 months ago (though it's almost exactly 6 months from publishing chapter 1 to now), so that's significant. I've spent a lot of time on it. It becomes a question of whether all that effort was worth it for the end product, and I of course believe it was. Conclusions are difficult though fjkdsjklgkjldsg

[leonifa]

The new chapter of Gravity Undefined is out! I'm really proud of this one (it’s got angst, humor, and… well, you can probably guess from the art, hehe). Ao3 I’d be so happy if you gave it a read! Love you all! 💖 I absolutely LOVE getting comments on my fic, so if you have the time and desire—please do! You’ll make me so, so happy! 💖

[lyvhie]

★ ˙ ̟ ─── . “i like it”.

donghyuck x reader

| summary | who would have thought that being evasive about something important would lead to Donghyuck losing you? | cw | fluff, slight jaemin x reader, jealousy, maybe angst if u squint, pet names. | a/n | changing this again 😇 someday i'll stop 😔 ALSO, my sweet wife @peterm4rker will be writing an awesome fic for jaemin following the events of this one, so stay tuned 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Contrary to what everyone believed, you and Haechan weren’t officially lovers but existed in a complicated, undefined space. Friends who occasionally kissed, shared intimate nights, and blurred the lines between friendship and something more. Hyuck was content with this arrangement, or at least, that’s what he told himself.

Things with you have been this way since the last year of high school, when you were each other's first kiss. Back then, you were both a bit clueless and hadn’t had much experience with other people, so you suggested it might be nice, and less awkward, to practice with each other since you were friends.

After that, this dynamic continued over the years. If you were bored or just in the mood, you’d make out until your mouths were sore. But that was it—nothing exclusive, nothing complicated, no feelings were involved. These were the unspoken rules between you two. Perhaps rules isn’t the right word, but it was a silent agreement you adhered to.

Both you and Hyuck had your fair share of flings, yet, amusingly enough, you always ended up coming back to each other. And he liked that. There was something undeniably comforting about it, the way it felt so effortless, so familiar, like slipping into your favorite sweater on a cold day. It was simple, warm, and safe. It wasn’t complicated, it was home.

Over time, being with you felt so right that he no longer desired anyone else. Everything about your dynamic was easy and, most importantly, simple. It provided a safe haven for his fears, a sanctuary from the expectations he dreaded. Commitment was a word that stirred anxiety in him, a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep. The thought of fully opening up, of risking his heart, scared him.

So, he clung to the simplicity of what you had, where no questions were asked, and no demands were made. It was his way of staying close while keeping his fears at bay, holding on to you without the risk of losing himself.

Haechan believed that as satisfied as he was with you, you felt the same about him. In his mind, you both fit perfectly into the arrangement you had. After all, why change something that worked so well? To him, everything was simple, easy, and just the way it should be.

However, things weren't as black and white for you as they were for Haechan. Over the years, you had hoped that what you shared would evolve into something deeper, something more defined. You craved a sense of permanence, a relationship that was established, tangible, and secure. What started as a casual connection had grown into something much more significant for you, and the lack of clarity began to weigh.

While Donghyuck found comfort in the ambiguity, you found yourself longing for certainty. The undefined boundaries that once felt liberating now felt confining.

It was no secret how fond you were of him. After all, you had been together for a long time, sharing each other's highs and lows, witnessing the best and worst moments side by side. The bond you had was undeniable, and with time, you felt it was only natural to express your feelings. You thought it would be okay to bring up the idea of something more, to gently nudge the relationship in a new direction.

So, you began to hint at your desires in subtle ways, slipping them into conversations, testing the waters at every suitable opportunity. You teased him, dropping little clues, hoping he'd pick up on your intentions and reveal his own. Each time, you watched closely, searching for any sign that he might feel the same way.

You'd casually ask questions about where he thought you both would be in the future, framing it as mere "curiosity." If he ever saw you both settling down, or if he thought things might change someday. Each question was laced with hope, a subtle push toward something more concrete.

But Donghyuck deflected. He'd laugh it off, turn the conversation back to something lighthearted, or give vague answers that neither confirmed nor denied anything.

And yes, he wasn't oblivious, far from it. He noticed your hints, understood the implications, but chose to play along as if he didn't. He pretended not to see the deeper meaning behind your words, it was easier for him to feign ignorance than to confront the truth, to face the possibility that things might change in ways he wasn't ready to handle.

Plus, he couldn't quite understand why you suddenly wanted to change everything. Why complicate something that, in his eyes, was already working perfectly? There were no conflicts, no major issues between you. Why bother putting a label on your relationship when things were smooth as they were?

Donghyuck thought that if he just waited it out, the dust would settle, and you'd drop the topic. He figured things would naturally return to how they were—cuddle sessions, late-night calls, movie nights, making out and, most importantly, no difficult questions about the future. It was a cycle he found comfort in, and he was sure you'd come back to it too.

For a while, he was right. You did stop bringing up the subject, and he felt a wave of relief. Everything seemed to return to normal, the familiar rhythm of your relationship restored. He thought he had successfully navigated the storm, and things were back on track.

But the peace didn’t last long.

At first, he assumed you were just caught up with life—work, family, college—the usual exhausting demands of adulthood. It made sense that you'd take longer to respond to his texts, miss his calls, or cancel your usual meetups at each other's places. He reasoned that it was temporary, just a busy spell you were going through.

However, as time went on, the excuses didn't quite add up. The distance between you grew before he could even fully realize it. Sure, you still talked, but only through messages, as you had stopped answering his calls. Even those conversations felt different-strange, tense, lacking the warmth they once had.

It was as if you were slowly becoming strangers, the easy familiarity between you fading away. An unspoken abyss seemed to be widening, pulling you further apart with each passing day.

He couldn't understand. Was it something he did? Did he say something wrong? Did he forget an important date? No, that couldn't be it-you wouldn't be acting this way if it were something so simple. Was it about the way he avoided your questions? But he was sure he had handled that well, giving you answers that, in his mind, should have put your concerns to rest.

Donghyuck replayed every conversation in his head, searching for a clue, a moment where things might have gone wrong. He thought he had done everything right, keeping things easy and light, steering clear of anything that might cause friction. Yet, despite his efforts, the growing distance between you suggested otherwise, leaving him confused and increasingly anxious about what might have caused the shift.

Once again, he decided to leave things as they were. You might just need some time for yourself, he thought. He just needed to be patient. That was all.

So, he tried to stay calm, holding onto the hope that this was just a phase, a temporary distance that would eventually close. He reassured himself that you weren't slipping away, that he wasn't... losing you. But deep down, a quiet fear lingered, growing harder to ignore with each passing day.

At some point, it became too much for him to bear. He missed you-terribly. The ache of your absence was overwhelming, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to make things right, whatever it took. He decided he would go to your place and apologize, even if he wasn't entirely sure what he had done wrong. He just knew he had to fix it.

In his mind, he planned everything meticulously. He would bring your favorite food, a small peace offering to show he cared. He would listen, really listen, to what you had to say, without deflecting or brushing things off. And then, he would apologize, sincerely, for anything he had done to hurt or upset you. He was ready to do whatever it took to mend the rift between you, to bring things back to the way they were.

And that's when things, already bad, started to get worse. As planned, he went to your favorite restaurant to pick up the peace offering. But that's when he saw you. His heart did that familiar happy dance it always did whenever you were around, but it soon came to an abrupt stop. Was he thrilled to see you after what felt like an eternity? Absolutely. What didn't sit well with him was what he was seeing.

Who was the guy you were with? Was this the reason behind the headaches, the exhaustion, the countless canceled plans? The realization hit him like a punch to the gut. Not only had you lied to him, but you were with someone he didn't even know. And worse—it was clearly a date. The way you were dressed, more put-together than usual, was a dead giveaway. This wasn't just a casual meetup; it was something more.

He noticed the way you smiled, the soft giggles that escaped your lips, the way you played with the end of your hair, something you did when you were feeling shy or nervous. He saw the subtle scrunch of your nose, a telltale sign of your genuine amusement, something he had always adored. It was everything you used to do with him, now directed toward someone else.

The sight of you laughing, seemingly carefree, with another person shattered the hope he had been clinging to, leaving him standing there, stunned and, dare he say, heartbroken. A wave of emotions crashed over him. Confusion, betrayal, an ache he couldn't ignore. But above all, there was jealousy.

It gnawed at him, a bitter, burning sensation that he couldn't shake as he watched you with someone else, sharing moments that once belonged to him and only him*.*

He knew what he had said about not being exclusive, that it was just for the sake of avoiding the labels and formalities of the situation. But this—this wasn't supposed to happen. Not when you had once casually told him that you didn't need to date anyone else when he was by your side.

He remembered the words he'd spoken about not wanting to change things, about not needing to turn what you had into a conventional romantic relationship. But even so, this—this moment—was never supposed to come.

You had felt a pair of eyes burning into the soul for a while now. You couldn't help but glance around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. But there was nothing, just a person leaving the restaurant in quick steps.

You blinked a couple of times. Was it just you, or did the back of that person look strangely familiar?

"Hey, everything okay?" Jaemin's concerned voice pulled you back, and you turned your attention to him.

Had you been missing Haechan so much that you were imagining things?

"Yeah, sorry," you said quickly, giving him a small, awkward smile. "I thought I saw someone I knew, don't worry," you waved it off, hoping he wouldn't ask more.

Jaemin smiled softly, his concern still lingering in his eyes, but he didn't push further. "Okay, if you say so," he replied gently, his voice calm and understanding, but he could tell something was off.

Here was the person who had been easing your worries these past few days. You and Jaemin had been friends for a few months now, ever since you first met at a museum. He had offered to guide you through the exhibits, sharing fascinating stories behind the artworks. At first, you assumed he worked there, only to find out later that he was just another visitor like you.

You still remembered how you had worried about taking up his time, only for him to laugh and wave off your concerns, saying it had been a fun walk. That shared experience led to more conversations, and by the end of the visit, you had exchanged numbers. What started as a casual acquaintance quickly blossomed into a comfortable friendship, one that had become a welcome refuge during the tumultuous times with Haechan.

Things with Donghyuck were... a mess, to say the least. It hadn't been as bad when you were still unaware of your true feelings for him. But once you recognized the depth of your emotions, everything became harder to bear. The weight of unspoken words and unmet desires grew heavier each day.

It only worsened when he confirmed, in his subtle yet unmistakable way, that you and he would remain in the same undefined space for the foreseeable future. The realization that nothing would change, that your relationship would stay stagnant, left you feeling trapped in a cycle of longing and frustration.

You sure liked Donghyuck, more than you ever thought you could like someone. But you couldn't keep burying yourself deeper into this hole of uncertainties. That's why, when Jaemin asked you out for the first time, you didn't refuse.

You had noticed his interest in you, and you thought, why not give it a chance? It felt like a welcome change from the storm of emotions that had been weighing you down.

And you were right. Jaemin was caring, attentive, and you shared so much in common. With him, you didn't feel the constant need to second-guess everything or wonder where you stood. He was always direct and sincere, there was no hidden meaning or unanswered questions, offering a sense of clarity that you had been craving, a simplicity that felt refreshing. It was… less intense, less complicated than it was with Haechan.

Jaemin tilted his head slightly, watching you with that warm, curious gaze he always had. “You sure you’re okay? You seem a little distracted tonight,” he asked softly, his concern evident in his tone.

You smiled, feeling a little guilty for letting your thoughts wander. “I’m fine, really. I guess I’m just a bit tired,” you said, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “But I’m having a great time with you.”

His lips curved into a gentle smile. “I’m glad to hear that. I was worried I was boring you,” he teased, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Not at all. You could probably talk about the most random thing, and I’d still be entertained,” you said, chuckling.

He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Oh, so you’re saying I have that kind of charm, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Don’t let it get to your head, Jaemin,” he laughed too, and for a moment, the tension you'd been feeling earlier seemed to fade away.

“Well, we've spent the whole day together, and it's already," he checked his wristwatch, "real late. I think it's time to take you home, princess," Jaemin said with a teasing smile, his tone light yet affectionate.

"As much as I want to say the opposite, I think you're right," you replied, letting out a small laugh. "I'd hate to turn into a pumpkin or something."

He chuckled, standing up and offering you his hand. "Don't worry, I'd make sure to bring you back to the ball before that happens."

You rolled your eyes at his playful tone but took his hand anyway, letting him guide you out of the restaurant. The evening air was cool and refreshing, and Jaemin stayed close to your side, his presence steady and comforting.

When you reached his car, he opened the door for you with a small bow, earning a laugh from you. "A true gentleman," you teased, sliding into the passenger seat. "Only the best for you," he quipped, winking before closing the door and walking around to the driver's side.

The drive home was filled with easy conversation, the kind that made time seem to slip away. Every now and then, you'd catch him glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, a soft smile tugging at his lips as if he were just happy to have you there.

“There you are,” Jaemin said as he parked in front of your house. “Safe and sound,” he added, turning to you with a warm smile.

“Aw, it’s over already?” you said dramatically, a teasing pout on your lips.

“Don’t worry,” he replied, leaning slightly closer to you, his voice dropping into that playful tone that always made you smile. “I have an idea for what we can do next week. If you’re interested, of course.”

“Oh, another date plan so soon?” you leaned closer as well, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“Mhm,” he hummed, his eyes sparkling mischievously. “But it’s a surprise, so don’t even think about asking.”

“Then you shouldn’t have told me,” you said, rolling your eyes playfully. “Now I’m curious.”

Jaemin chuckled softly, his hand reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lingered for a moment, just barely grazing your cheek. “I’ll make the wait worth it,” he said softly, his gaze flickering down to your lips.

The air between you shifted slightly, growing more intimate as he leaned closer and closer, his breath almost mingling with yours, his lips just a whisper away from yours and—

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“How long are you planning to stay there?”

You turned your head abruptly, your heart skipping a beat at the familiar voice. There stood Haechan, arms crossed, an annoyed expression on his face as he stared into the car.

Your chest tightened at the sight of him, but you forced yourself to play it cool, letting out a small, frustrated sigh.

Jaemin pulled back, his brow slightly raised as he glanced at Haechan, then back at you. The sudden interruption had shattered the moment.

“Friend of yours?” Jaemin asked, his voice calm but curious, as his eyes searched yours for an answer.

“Yeah, something like that," you replied, laughing awkwardly. "Remember Haechan?"

"Oh, Mr. Gray Area," Jaemin said with a knowing smirk.

“Yep, that’s him,” you said, trying to play it off with a soft chuckle before letting out a small sigh. Quickly, you unbuckled your seatbelt and reached for the door handle. “By the way, don’t leave yet. You forgot something at my house last time, I’ll take it for you real quick.”

“Alright, pretty, take your time.”

Jaemin smiled, leaning back in his seat as his gaze followed you. Meanwhile, Haechan’s eyes were also fixed on you, his arms crossed as he stood waiting. When you stopped in front of him, his brows rose expectantly.

“What are you doing here?” you whispered, trying to keep your tone neutral, though a hint of frustration slipped through.

Haechan shrugged, his expression unreadable. “You were having so many headaches, I wanted to check if you were okay,” he said, the lie rolling off his tongue smoothly.

His gaze flickered to Jaemin, still sitting in the car, who offered him a brief, polite wave. Haechan forced a tight-lipped smile, biting back the urge to roll his eyes. “And apparently, you are,” he added, his voice dropping slightly, laced with sarcasm. “Didn't know you had a thing for bulked-up gym rats. Should I start hitting the gym too, or is he the exception?"

You rolled your eyes, biting back a retort as Jaemin's curious gaze lingered from the car. "Haechan, please—"

"What?" he interrupted, leaning in slightly with a mock-innocent expression. "I just wanna make sure I'm keeping up with your new preferences.”

You lifted a hand to stop him from talking before he could say anything more, and he pressed his lips together in silence right away, though the grumpy expression on his face was impossible to miss.

"Just wait and behave," you said firmly, giving him a pointed look before turning to head inside your house.

Haechan huffed at your words but didn't argue. The moment you disappeared through the door, though, he turned back to Jaemin's car, his gaze narrowing slightly. After a brief pause, he walked closer, his shoes scuffing against the pavement, and knocked on the car window, waiting for Jaemin to lower it.

He leaned in slightly, resting his arms on the edge of the window so he could get a proper look at Jaemin.

Damn. He's hot. That, Haechan couldn't deny. What a handsome man.

Fuck.

He hoped Jaemin had a terrible personality because, honestly, it was unfair for someone to look that good and be a decent person too.

“Yes? Can I help you?” Jaemin asked, a polite smile adorning his face as his brow lifted slightly at the sudden interaction.

Haechan tilted his head, his gaze traveling up and down Jaemin’s figure, taking in every detail as if analyzing him.

“Jaemin, right?” Haechan said back, his lips curving into something between a smirk and a challenge. “Just wanted to see who’s been stealing my girl’s attention from me these days.”

Jaemin let out a small chuckle, tilting his head slightly. “Your girl? Funny, it didn’t seem that way since we started going out.”

Haechan scoffed, but he masked it with a shrug. “Well, she just likes making new friends,” he said casually, though the tightness in his jaw betrayed him.

So this was it, huh? Your sudden distance, the unanswered calls, the excuses—it was all because you’d been going on little dates with this guy. Haechan felt something unpleasant settle in his chest, but he pushed it down, keeping his expression cool.

Jaemin hummed, unfazed by Haechan’s words. His fingers tapped lazily against the steering wheel as he looked at him with mild amusement. “Is that what you tell yourself?”

Haechan let out a dry chuckle, tilting his head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jaemin shrugged, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Just saying… You seem a little too interested in her new friends for someone who didn’t want to put a label on things.”

Haechan’s smirk faltered for just a second, but he quickly recovered. “I just like knowing who she spends time with,” he said, his tone light, but there was an edge to it.

Jaemin chuckled, shaking his head. “Right. Well, now you know.” He leaned back in his seat, drumming his fingers against the car door. “Anything else, or can I go back to waiting for her without the interrogation?”

Haechan clicked his tongue, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He wanted to say something, anything, to wipe that amused expression off Jaemin’s face. But before he could come up with a comeback, the front door opened, and you stepped out, holding a jacket in your hands.

As soon as you saw them still talking, you narrowed your eyes. “Is everything okay?” you asked, eyeing Haechan suspiciously.

Jaemin grinned. “Depends on your definition of okay.”

Haechan just huffed, looking away. “Just having a chat,” he muttered.

You sighed, already exhausted. “I don’t even want to know,” you mumbled, handing Jaemin the jacket. “Here, you left this last time.”

Jaemin took it with a grateful smile. “Thanks, pretty.” He shot you a wink, completely ignoring Haechan’s glare.

Haechan clicked his tongue again, stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets. “Great. Now that he got what he came for, he can go,” he said, voice dripping with fake sweetness.

Jaemin raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue. “I was leaving anyway,” he said, flashing you one last smile before rolling up his window. “I’ll text you later.”

You smiled and waved as you watched Jaemin’s car disappear down the street. But the moment he was out of sight, your expression shifted, and you turned to Haechan with a sigh.

“I think you can go too,” you said, your voice even, though you weren’t exactly pleased to see him there. Even if—against your better judgment—your heart twisted in something dangerously close to happiness after so long without seeing him.

“What? Are you mad because I interrupted your little ‘date’?” Haechan scoffed, using his fingers to make exaggerated air quotes.

You rolled your eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh as you moved to walk past him, unwilling to entertain whatever mood he was in. But before you could get too far, he was quick to step in front of you, his hands gently grabbing your shoulders to stop you.

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said quickly, his voice softer this time, though the usual playful edge was still there. “I just wanna talk. Please?”

His puppy eyes had you folding faster than you’d like to admit. With a sigh, you cleared your throat and gently pushed his hands away, walking past him to your front door. You held it open without a word, and he didn’t waste a second following you inside.

It had only been a few weeks, but as Haechan stepped in, it felt like years since he’d last been here. Everything was the same—the familiar scent of your home, the way your shoes were neatly placed by the door, the dim lighting that made the space feel warm.

He watched as you leaned back against the couch, arms crossed, silently waiting for him to speak. The weight of your gaze made him hesitate, unsure of how to start the conversation, or if he even knew what he wanted to say in the first place.

His throat felt dry as he swallowed hard, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets while his eyes wandered around the room. “You redecorated?” he asked, his voice casual, or at least, trying to sound like it.

You raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“Ah,” he let out a small, awkward chuckle, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Guess it just feels different then.”

“Come on, Haechan,” you sighed, your voice steady but tired. “Just tell me what you’re doing here.”

He frowned slightly, the awkwardness that had filled the room earlier quickly fading as he stepped closer to you. The usual ease in his movements returned as he moved toward the couch.

“What do you mean, ‘what am I doing here’? I missed you,” he said, his voice sincere, genuine as he placed his hands on either side of the couch, leaning in just enough to be close, but still keeping a safe distance, his gaze never leaving yours.

You looked at him, his words hitting you more than you wanted to admit, but you forced yourself to act unimpressed. “Yeah? You came all the way here just to say that? You could’ve just texted me.”

“I did,” he shot back, his voice a little sharper now. “But you left me on read

“Then you should’ve taken the hint that I didn’t miss you.”

He let out a short laugh, though it was laced with bitterness. “Well, I noticed. You’ve been busy, huh? Going out on dates with that guy and all.” His eyes narrowed slightly, the jealousy evident in his voice. “How long have you two been meeting?”

“Why would that be any of your business?”

“I mean, it would be good to know if you started things with him while you were with me,” he said, his voice laced with something you couldn't quite decipher—hurt? Resentment? “Or if it was after you started acting like I don’t exist.”

“With you?” You let out a small, dry laugh. “Donghyuck, we were never together. You made that very clear.”

Haechan’s jaw clenched at your words. He opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out. Because you were right. He had been the one who insisted on keeping things the way they were. No labels. No commitments. No messy emotions.

But now that he was faced with the reality of what that actually meant—you moving on, finding someone else—he hated it.

“That’s not—” He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “That’s not fair.”

You scoffed, crossing your arms. “Oh, now it’s not fair?” You shook your head. “It was fair when I was waiting around for you to maybe want something more? When I kept dropping hints, hoping you’d stop pretending you didn’t see them?”

He pressed his lips together, his gaze dropping for a moment. He had seen them. Every single one. And he had ignored them. Every single one.

“Jaemin actually wants to be with me,” you continued, voice softer now but no less firm. “He doesn’t make me feel like I have to prove I’m worth it.”

Haechan’s chest tightened at that. “And I did?”

You didn’t answer right away. You just looked at him, and somehow, that was worse.

He hadn't realized that was how you felt. Sure, he knew he had been difficult, he never denied that, but he never thought he made you feel like you weren’t enough. He thought that by keeping things the way they were, he was protecting what you had, not slowly pushing you away.

“Listen, I…” He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I know I’m an idiot. I know I messed up, and I know I wasn’t being fair to you. I knew what you wanted, and instead of being honest, I chose to pretend I didn’t see it, because I was too scared to do anything about it.”

Your eyebrows lifted slightly in surprise. It wasn’t often that Haechan was this honest. He had always been open with you, yes, but when it came to his own emotions, his fears, his insecurities, he usually buried them under jokes, teasing, and playful distractions. But now, he was just laying it out there, no filter, no deflection.

You swallowed, arms still crossed, but your stance had softened. “…And what exactly were you so scared of?”

He swallowed hard, guilt creeping into his expression. “I didn’t want to lose you,” he admitted, voice quieter now. “I thought if we just kept things the way they were, you’d stay. That I wouldn’t have to face all the scary, complicated parts of actually being with someone.”

“So what?” still, you couldn’t let yourself be swayed so easily. Not when it had taken so much for you to finally step away. “You were scared, so that justifies everything? That makes it okay?”

“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “It doesn’t. And I’m not saying it does.” He ran a frustrated hand over his face before meeting your eyes again. “I just—I need you to know that it wasn’t because you weren’t enough. It was never that. It was me being a coward.”

By now, you were already softening toward him, and he could tell. His hands found your face, cupping it gently.

“I’m really sorry,” he murmured. “I swear I never meant to make you feel that way or push you away. Being without you these past days... it made me think about everything. And I already knew this, but you have no idea how much you mean to me. I realized all those doubts didn’t matter, because, God, it’s you. It’s always been you. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.”

His eyes stayed locked on yours, his thumbs tracing soft circles on your cheeks. The way he was looking at you… if not love, then something dangerously close to it.

“Please, give me a chance,” he pleaded. “I know I let you down, and I know words aren’t enough to make up for everything I put you through. But I swear, I won’t mess this up again. I’ll show you—show you just how much I want you, how much you mean to me, how much…"

He took a shaky breath, his grip on your face tightening just slightly, as if afraid you’d slip away.

"How much I need you," he finally whispered. "Not just for now, not just because I miss you, but because I don’t know how to be without you anymore. Because every moment without you felt wrong, and I never want to feel that again. Just… let me prove it to you. Please."

You were speechless at his sudden confession. His eyes held the same desperate sincerity as his voice, and you could feel how genuine he was, more than you’d ever seen before. You were sure that, if you wanted, he’d drop to his knees and beg for your forgiveness. Your heart was pounding so violently, you almost felt like it might burst from your chest, just to show him how deeply he affected you without even trying.

You wanted to speak, but you couldn’t as he kept going, probably babbling at this point. “I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you. You want a real relationship? Let’s do it. You want commitment? I’ll give it to you. Hell, you want me to write it in the sky? Tattoo it on my forehead? I’ll—”

You interrupted him by crashing your lips against his.

His eyes widened in surprise, his breath hitching, but it took only a second for him to snap back to reality. He kissed you back just as desperately, as if he had been waiting for this moment forever. One hand slid to the small of your back, pulling you flush against him, while the other cradled the back of your neck, fingers tangling into your hair as he poured every ounce of emotion into the kiss.

You could feel the way he melted against you, how his desperation seeped into the kiss, as if he was trying to pour all the words he couldn't say into it. His grip on you tightened, like he was scared you'd slip away if he didn’t hold on tight enough.

When you finally pulled away, breathless, his lips chased yours, unwilling to let the moment end. “Does that mean…?” he whispered, eyes searching yours, still uncertain.

You exhaled, resting your forehead against his. “It means… you have a lot to make up for.”

A small, breathy chuckle left his lips, but there was no cockiness, no playfulness—just sheer relief. “I will,” he promised, his hands cradling your face as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

His lips met yours once again, this time more gently, more lovingly. He honestly felt like the luckiest person in the world right now.

He pulled away just slightly, his breath still mingling with yours. “Tell me… you and that Jaeman guy—”

“It’s Jaemin,” you corrected.

“Whatever,” he mumbled, brushing it off. “You and Minjae… how far did you go?” His brows lifted slightly, his thumb grazing your lower lip.

You exhaled a soft laugh. “Is it really important?”

“Very much,” he murmured, tilting his head as his fingers trailed down your jaw. “I need to erase every trace of him off you.”

You rolled your eyes, trying, and failing, to hide the small smile creeping up on your lips. “We didn’t do much more than a few pecks…” you admitted.

Haechan groaned dramatically, as if your words physically pained him. “A few pecks?” he repeated, shaking his head. “Disgusting. Unacceptable.”

Before you could roll your eyes again, he was on you, pressing kiss after kiss against your lips, barely giving you a chance to breathe. Each one was soft yet desperate, as if he were really trying to erase every trace of Jaemin’s touch, replacing every memory with his own.

You let out a breathless laugh, trying to push him away, but he was relentless. He peppered kisses along your cheeks, your chin, your nose, your forehead—everywhere he could reach.

“Okay, stop!” you giggled, placing your hand over his mouth to halt his attack. “I get it already.”

His eyes sparkled with mischief as he kissed your palm, his lips lingering against your skin.

“I'm making sure there's no room left for Jaeman.”

Jaemin glanced at his phone screen, checking the time for what felt like the hundredth time. His foot tapped against the floor, his eyes flickering to the entrance every time the bell chimed, expecting—no, hoping—to finally see the person he had been so anxiously waiting for: you.

Don’t get him wrong, he was always excited to see you. But today, that excitement was laced with unease. That feeling had settled in his chest the moment you called him, asking to meet. Usually, just the thought of seeing you would have him grinning like an idiot, but something in your tone during that call had put him on edge. There was a distance in your voice, something careful, something that made his nerves spike.

It didn’t help that it had been days since the last time you properly talked or spent time together. That alone was enough to make him feel uneasy. And now, as he sat there waiting, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this meeting wouldn’t be the kind he was hoping for.

He shook his head slightly, trying to push away the nagging thoughts. Maybe he was just overthinking. Maybe you just wanted to see him because you missed him, just like he missed you. And honestly? That was reason enough for him.

The bell rang again, and this time, when he looked up, there you were. His heart did that little flip it always did whenever he saw you, no matter how much he tried to play it cool. He knew you hadn’t known each other for that long, your time together still fresh and new, but there was something about you that made it feel different.

He called your name and waved to catch your attention, his smile appearing almost instantly as soon as he saw yours. You hurried toward the table, slipping into the seat across from him.

"I'm sorry, did I make you wait too long?" you asked, slightly out of breath. "Something came up, and I couldn't help but be late."

That something had a name and a surname—Lee Donghyuck.

The very person who insisted on accompanying you and personally driving you to the café as soon as you mentioned needing to see Jaemin. Not only did he take the longest route possible, driving at a frustratingly slow pace, but he also kept you trapped in the car, stealing kisses and whining about why you had to see Jaemin at all.

You almost had to beg him not to follow you inside the café, and it took a mix of stern scolding and a few more stolen kisses before you were finally free from his relentless affection.

Jaemin chuckled softly, shaking his head and dismissing your apology with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I didn’t wait that long,” he said, his words making you exhale in relief. “Is everything okay? We haven’t really talked much these past few days.”

You smiled sheepishly. “Oh, yes, sorry. It’s just… a lot’s happened, and I didn’t really have the time to catch up with anyone,” you explained with a light chuckle.

Jaemin’s expression softened, and a hint of relief washed over him. “I’m glad it’s just that,” he said, his tone light. “I thought maybe I did something wrong, messed things up between us.”

You couldn’t help but feel a small pang in your chest at his words. He really did care, of course.

“No, nothing like that. It’s just… things have been a bit complicated lately,” you hesitated for a moment, then decided to be honest. “And I just needed some space to think about… us.”

Jaemin's smile faltered just slightly as he noticed the way you fidgeted with the napkin, your lips pressing into a thin line. The way you avoided his gaze for a moment, only to return to meet his eyes, told him everything he needed to know. He was right—this was going to be an unpleasant conversation.

He remained silent, his gaze steady and attentive, nodding slowly as he listened carefully to every word you said. He could tell that you had thought this through, giving you the space you needed to speak without feeling rushed.

“Look, I really enjoyed our time together, it was honestly so much fun, and you’re such a sweet person, but…” You paused for a brief moment, your mind drifting to the little gremlin waiting for you in the car outside the cafe. “I have someone I care deeply about, despite everything that happened. I want to give it a real shot, because… that’s what I’ve been waiting for. And I really thought I was ready to make things work with you, but I can’t do that when my heart belongs to another person.”

“… I see.” His words were simple, but they carried a certain weight. There was no anger, no resentment, just quiet understanding and a hint of sadness. “I guess I can’t really argue with that, can I?”

You watched as he leaned back in his seat, exhaling a slow breath. His expression was composed, but the way his fingers tapped idly against the table gave him away. He looked… upset. Maybe even hurt. You knew you were doing the right thing, but it didn’t make it any easier.

“It’s not that I don’t like you,” you blurted out, feeling the need to clarify. “You are amazing, Jaemin, and you deserve someone just as good as you are. And I’m not—”

“It’s fine,” he interrupted gently, offering you a small chuckle—one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He had noticed the way you were starting to fidget, your nervousness creeping in. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re doing something wrong. I appreciate your honesty. I can’t say I’m happy about it, but… I kind of saw this coming.”

You frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”

Jaemin tilted his head, studying you for a moment before giving you a knowing smile. “It’s Haechan, isn’t it? The person you were just talking about.”

You nodded sheepishly. Was it really that obvious?

He let out another small chuckle, shaking his head. “Yeah… I had a feeling. Especially after our last encounter,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck before meeting your gaze again. “Honestly? I wish things were different. I really do. But I get it,” his voice softened. “When someone already has your heart, there’s not much room left for anyone else, is there?”

You had prepared yourself for anger, maybe even disappointment, but this quiet acceptance made it so much harder.

“I really am sorry,” you whispered.

He offered you a small, bittersweet smile. “Don’t be. Just… be happy, alright?” He reached across the table and gave your hand a small squeeze before pulling away. “And if he ever messes up, I’ll be right here to say ‘I told you so,’” he smirked.

You let out a soft chuckle, shaking your head. “Noted.” Then, hesitating for a moment, you asked, “Would it be stupid of me to ask if we can still be friends?”

Jaemin blinked, then huffed a small laugh. “No, of course not,” he said, his voice softer now. “I’d love that.”

You felt a weight lift off your shoulders at his words, though the guilt still lingered. You had expected this conversation to go much worse—maybe some resentment, maybe some bitterness—but Jaemin was handling it with the same grace and kindness he had always shown you.

“Thank you,” you said sincerely. “For understanding. For everything, really.”

Jaemin leaned back, a fond but slightly teasing smile playing on his lips. “Well, I can’t say I’m thrilled about the outcome, but I meant what I said. I want you to be happy.” He tilted his head, eyes twinkling just a little. “Even if it’s with him.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “You’re making it sound like I chose the worst possible person.”

Jaemin shrugged. “I don’t hate the guy. But let’s just say he’s not exactly my first pick for you.”

“Fair enough,” you admitted, biting back another chuckle.

A comfortable silence settled between you two, and you felt grateful that, despite everything, Jaemin was still Jaemin—kind, understanding, and someone you truly wanted to keep in your life.

Donghyuck jolted in his seat when he glanced at the rearview mirror and saw you saying goodbye to his number one enemy. He clicked his tongue, muttering something under his breath, before quickly looking away as you slid into the car. He tried to act nonchalant, though the urge to have his hands all over you was undeniable.

“So?” He raised his brows, his voice thick with curiosity as he glanced at your smiling face. His mind cursed Jaemin a thousand times over, though he tried to hide it behind a playful demeanor.

“Well, he was very lovely the whole time,” you said, pulling your seatbelt across your body. “And we agreed to stay friends.”

The words hit him like a breath of fresh air, and he let out a relieved sigh, not bothering to hide it this time. For a moment there, he thought you might change your mind, and he’d be left in misery forever.

"Good," he muttered, his grip on the wheel loosening, his gaze softening as he glanced over at you. “So, I behaved as you said and I patiently waited for you here, do I deserve my reward now?”

You shot him a teasing smile, leaning back in your seat. “Oh? You think you deserve a reward just for waiting?”

He pouted, though it only made him look more endearing. “Come on, you can’t leave me hanging like this. I’ve been a perfect gentleman,” he said, his voice playful yet sincere.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, but the smile that tugged at your lips betrayed you. “Alright, alright. You did alright, I guess.”

By now, he was already leaning closer, his breath brushing against your lips. Without missing a beat, you cupped his face in your hands and pulled him in for a deep, searing kiss. Haechan couldn't help but smile into it, feeling his heart race.

He must admit, he really like it this way.

↝ taglist: @yizhrt, @sinisxtea, @peterm4rker.

[astrakim]

THE SPACE BETWEEN US [Preview]

Full fic out now!

> enemies to lovers | slow burn | bed-sharing | fluff, angst, emotional smut

>genre: childhood rivals to lovers, friends-forced-to-share-a-bed, emotional tension, slow burn

>word count: 17.9k

>summary: They started as neighbors. Then came a stupid night — and suddenly, Heeseung and Y/N were enemies. Years of rivalry, endless tension, and a thousand unspoken feelings between them.

When a group trip forces them to share a bed, everything changes. Jealousy flares. Secrets unravel. And the line between hate and desire blurs in ways neither of them expected.

What if the enemy was never really the enemy?

>warnings: suggestive tension, mutual pining, soft vulnerability, swearing, kissing, a lot of staring, protected sex (wrap it yall), oral (f.rec), fingering, heeseung is a flirt, misunderstanding, Sunoo lowkey OR highkey being a menace matchmaker, thats all ig let me know if I should add anything.

>status: sneak peek below! full fic soon ♡

>note: This is my first fic ever guyss, its not that good yet as I'm just starting out but its worth reading.

Reblogs and likes are really appreciated

Comment to get added to taglist of this fic

Enjoy your read!

“Why Do You Hate Heeseung So Much?”

People ask me that all the time.

Usually when we’re out — surrounded by too many snacks and too few brain cells — someone always turns to me with a grin and says,

“Come on, Y/N. Be honest. Why do you hate Heeseung so much?”

And I always have a list ready.

“He’s insufferable.”

“He thinks being tall makes him superior.”

“He flirts with waitresses then tips like a grandpa.”

It’s become a bit. A running joke.

But the truth?

The truth is I don’t actually hate Heeseung.

I just never forgave him.

Not really.

Because back when we were fifteen, there was this one night — the kind you don’t really forget.

The kind you carry with you even when you’re trying hard not to.

It was warm out. Sticky, quiet. One of those summer nights where everything feels a little more honest.

We ended up in the treehouse behind my backyard — the one we used to play in when we were kids. It wasn’t planned. Just one of those things where I looked out the window and saw him pacing his driveway, and he looked up like he was waiting for me to.

So I went.

And we talked.

About things we didn’t talk about with anyone else.

His parents. My insecurities. Feeling stuck. Feeling… seen.

For a second — maybe longer — it felt like something changed.

Like maybe we weren’t just neighbors. Or childhood friends. Or that weird undefined space in between.

There was a pause.

A moment.

I swore he was going to kiss me.

He didn’t.

And that was fine, a little disappointing because I always wanted him to be my first kiss… but it was fine.

But the next day?

He ghosted.

No texts. No calls. No “you up?” late-night window knocks like usual. Just… nothing.

Avoided me at school. Like I had made everything up in my head.

So when my friend asked about it, I said it was nothing. Just a “weird night.”

I laughed it off. Pretended I didn’t care but I did.

Pretended it didn't hurt but it did.

I waited. I gave it a day. Then another. Then another.

And eventually, I got tired of waiting.

I kept thinking: Was I wrong? Did I imagine it?

Maybe it hadn’t meant anything to him. Maybe I’d read it all wrong.

So I got angry. At him. At myself. At all of it.

Until one day….

Part 1 of full fic

🛏️ dm or comment to be tagged in the full fic!

[somehowukook]

(On going) Jungkook fics that totally worth the wait. PT. 2. *:･ﾟ✧

I decided to share some ongoing FFs that I’m completely obsessed with. This is the second part.

Minors under no circumstances can interact with my posts.

Hey guys, 💞

Now I’m back with fic recommendations that are absolutely worth following in real-time.

Also, I’m planning to release a teaser of my own fanfic next week, and this is a way for us to get to know each other better until then!

Without further ado…

Let’s go!

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Dextrocardia by @jeonstudios

cop!jk x f detective!reader, undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au, [a] [f] [s]

“She’s been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you’ll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this.”

“What?!” It’s Jeongguk’s upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.

One of the best plots, one of the best themes, and one of the best reading experiences I’ve ever had. Smart, essential, and full of layers—that’s the tone of this story. There was one chapter where I just couldn’t stop pacing back and forth around the house while reading. Dextrocardia is nearing its end, and I’m going to miss it so much! @jeonstudios is one of my favorite authors and has already written stories that rank in my all-time top favorites. It’s worth reading EVERYTHING! Her Patreon is worth every cent!

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Bad Decisions by @alphabetboyluver

Smut, fluff, a lil angst, bartender!jk, student!jk, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers (?), fwb, deal arrangement, undefined relationship (they’re just friends! just besties!!), miscommunication, idiots in love, emotional slow burn, bucket list (a.k.a. the birds)

It’s simple: write your deepest, darkest fears on origami birds and string them up on Jungkook’s ceiling. When they fall—which they inevitably will, thanks to his cheap Daiso washi tape—you have to face the fear. Set it free.

The issue? You have a fear of intimacy.

Jungkook, a fear of rejection.

And you both have the capacity to make some incredibly bad decisions.

I LOVE BD. I LOVE HOW THIS JK THINKS HE’LL DIE IF HIS CARNAL DESIRES AREN’T MET. He is the personification of my perfect man—everything he does is incredible, and I swear, I can’t even explain how BD is worth it. I LOVE HOW THE OC IS SO HEADSTRONG AND HOW I LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT SELF-LOVE FROM HER. Look, I discovered Holly’s writing through Throttle (complete and incredible), and I was instantly enchanted by her work. Honestly, if I had money, I’d open a publishing house just to sponsor and publish her books. If you haven’t read it yet, you’re missing out!

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死 KKANGPAE by @jungkoode

enemies to lovers, slow burn, gang au, angst with smut, fuck buddies, forbidden love, secret relationship

When you join Kkangpae’s Seduction Division, you know the rules: no attachments, no relationships, no exceptions. The consequences are fatal—you’ve seen them firsthand. But rules become complicated when the Chief of Tactical Assassinations keeps looking at you like you’re his next target, and not the kind he takes out with a sniper rifle.

Alright, I’ve already made it clear in my first fic recommendation list that Kiki is brilliant, and you probably know it by now… Besides writing and creating incredible universes and deeply layered characters with impeccable psycho-behavioral construction, she’s also an amazing and kind person—and her fanarts, help!But enough about her, or I’ll never finish… Now let’s talk about this MASTERPIECE that is KKangpae! I am completely WEAK for Jeon, and this OC? Oh God, this woman can break me, and I’d still say thank you! This slow burn (Kiki’s specialty) is so sensual, so good, and so nerve-wracking that it makes you roll on the floor in a fetal position after every episode. Just read it.

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Stuck with you by @focusonkayjay

Computer sci major/shy/nerdy!Jungkook, econ major/popular/influencer!reader, college au, roommates au, roommates to lovers, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, angst, smut, fluff

Jungkook’s a hopeless romantic—emphasis on hopeless more than romantic. From the moment he first laid eyes on you, he swore he heard bells chiming, like the angels from above were giving him a cosmic nudge. But he’s always been the awkward, nerdy guy—the one who blends into the background—while you? You felt like a dream way out of his league. Fate, however, had other plans and now, you’re his roommate and living with you—in all your effortless glory—is equal parts chaos and heaven. The only challenge? Keeping his ever-growing feelings in check. That is—until a cocky fuckboy with not-so-pure intentions sets his sights on you, and suddenly, just loving you from the sidelines might not be enough.

I found Chers page through one of my favorite fics, Between the Ride and the Roses(which I think you should read). Since then, I’ve been following her work, and this latest release—seriously, I was so happy I read the first episode before making this recommendation list because it’s TOTALLY worth it! This socially awkward JK, with the purest heart in the world (and some self-esteem issues), will win you over in the very first description, and I just hope this precious soul doesn’t get hurt because, honestly, I’d destroy the whole world if anything bad happens to him. Seriously, he is so precious. MY SHAYLA

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Server Room by @mister0ctopus

Smut (X), Office au, Mini Series

Your new IT guy is quiet and shy. But when you accidentally caught him doing something in the server room while moaning your name, you just had to pretend you didn’t see that, right?

How do I say this without sounding crude? Well, I hope you don’t think I’m crazy, but the server room scene is 🔥🔥🔥🔥, and it left me wondering for wayyy too long —what if it were me???? Well, I probably wouldn’t survive this JK doing THAT while moaning my name.

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Not Ideal by @koojks

Grumpy jk, slight angst and eventual smut. SMAU + Written

Jeon Jungkook has made one thing clear: he has no interest in working with you. He barely tolerates you in the friend group as it is. But with a project on the line, avoiding each other is no longer an option.

Through a Tumblr interest recommendation, I discovered Via and got completely hooked on Not Ideal. I’m OBSESSED—I need to know why this JK is so closed off, why he keeps picking on our OC, what he does when he goes out, what he eats, why he acts so nonchalant about everything??? Baby, I need to know!!!!!

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Hope you like it! And please, let’s keep in touch—I LOVE chatting with you!

[buckets-and-trees]

Chris Evans Characters

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

Unless specifically noted, all of my stories feature a female reader insert character.

dividers by my lovely og wife @vesearartistry

feat. Andy Barber, Ari Levinson, Curtis Everett, Lloyd Hansen, Ransom Drysdale

Andy Barber

I’M YOUR MAN soft!dark mafia AU dubious consent, forced marriage, explicit smut

↠ I'm Your Man [3k] ↠ Morning Radiance [750] ↠ Prepare for Takeoff [1.5k] ↠ Don't Look Too Far [6.4k] ↠ Burned Off the Haze [4.5k] ↠ Cracking Locks [5k] ↠ Dangerous Desires [6.3k] ↠ ask: a moment on your honeymoon [350] ↠ Make Her Glow [1k]

EXTRAS: ↠ will Andy let the reader work? ↠ what if Andy were forced into marriage with the reader?

Legal Temptations [6.4k] takes place a year or two after Defending Jacob

Ari Levinson

OBSIDIAN STAIN & SIN Ari x reader x Curtis Everett tattoo artist modern AU soft!dark, initial mildly dubious consent, explicit smut, many kinks

+ Obsidian Stain and Sin [8.1k] + Taking You Home [6.2k] + Worship in the Bedroom [3.2k] + Get Closer to Me [5.8k] + Sleeplessly Embracing You [2.4k] CURTIS POV / NO ARI + Sensible Sorting [1.5k]

Slope - Concept Pitch [2.5k] modern AU - some college, then mid-30s second chance half imagine, half storytelling

Lakehouse Ari ask/thot [160] Quite the Morning [1.6k] mfm with Nick Fowler modern AU - brother's best friend, first part of The Lake House soft dark, smut

Waiting On One Look [300] apocalyptic omegaverse AU soft dark world, but not a soft dark Ari

Crimson Mornings [500] Ari x reader x Bucky Barnes explicit smut

Curtis Everett

OBSIDIAN STAIN & SIN Curtis x reader x Ari Levinson tattoo artist modern AU soft!dark, initial mildly dubious consent, explicit smut, many kinks

+ Obsidian Stain and Sin [8.1k] + Taking You Home [6.2k] + Worship in the Bedroom [3.2k] + Get Closer to Me [5.8k] + Sleeplessly Embracing You [2.4k] + Sensible Sorting [1.5k]

an ask about a water creature C!Evans character [1.2k] + Never Going Back Again [3.7k] Bolotnik!Curtis x reader undefined time period AU explicit smut, first piece: non/dubious consent, second piece: full consent, terato/monster fucking

THE LAKE HOUSE a collection of encounters in a modern AU setting soft!dark, explicit smut, no strings attached, brother's best friend(s), reverse harem

↠ Curtis shows up [1.4k]

Lloyd Hansen

HUFFILY EVER AFTER: A CINDERELLOYD STORY - COMPLETE modern AU, Cinderella adaptation, unknown identities + enemies/rivals to lovers, eventual smut

↠ chapter 1: The Masquerade [5k] ↠ chapter 2: Conference Day One [6.4k] ↠ chapter 3: The Panel [4k] ↠ chapter 4: The Awards Gala [6.5k] ↠ chapter 5: Fallout and the Final Morning of the Conference [6.6k] ↠ chapter 6: An Afternoon Adrift [6.5k] ↠ chapter 7: Conversations on the Final Night [6.9k] ↠ chapter 8: Departure Day [6.7k]

WELCOME HOME, PUMPKIN  set of three stories utilizing the same opening and sharing lines of dialogue and narrative but with soft, soft dark, and dark results

↠ soft: Sugar Pumpkin ask: before you got together | fic: Room to Grow | ask: holiday Lloyd - Christmas while you're pregnant ↠ soft!dark: Spiced Pumpkin ↠ dark: Smashed Pumpkin (non-con) Smashed to Pieces (non-con)

Unholy Errand [4k] Lloyd x reader, God the Bounty Hunter x reader, Ransom Drysdale dark, non-consent, dubious consent, explicit smut

Lloyd punishment ask [500] explicit smut, bondage, dom vibes

Lloyd hearteyes ask [330] light smut

Ransom Drysdale

Between the Lines [4.4k] post-Knives Out, fake engagement, slow burn, forced proximity, "enemies" to lovers, off-page smut

Steve Rogers Collecton

Main Masterlist

[thought--bubble]

Aemond Fic Recs

This one will be kind of long but all of these stories are really good!

Back to my Masterlist

Aemond fic recs

Page 1,

☣ @arcielee☣

We Gave our Time to Something Undefined

Zȳha lyks

☣ @marthawrites☣

Knees

Greed

Darkened Corridors

A Ladies Thrill

Teaching a Dragon New Tricks

Red Lions and Hidden Dragons

A Surprise in the Library

☣ @sepherinaspoppies☣

Whatever May Come Series (Dark Aemond)

Only if for a Night (AU Aemond)

☣ @barbieaemond☣

Iron on Silk

Lykiri

☣ @vsnyarbll☣

I Never Want This to End

The Wound on his Hand

☣ @namelesslosers☣

How long can we be a sad song

A Moment Everybody Knows

A Worthy Exchange (Aemond / Hunger Games AU)

☣ @targaryen-dynasty☣

A Caution for Young Girls

Depravities

Sinful Revenge (Aemond/Aegon)

Lechery

A Dragon to Share (Aemond/Aegon/Daemon)

The Curse of Curiosity

To Stoke a Flame

Dragon Dreams

Rewrite the stars

Forbidden Temptation

Serenity & Can you stay up all night?

☣ @troublesomesnitch☣

Uneasy Lies the Head (Aemond/Aegon)

☣ @the-dendrophile-bookdragon☣

Knife Play

Braids

☣ @aemonds-fire☣

Lady, Wife, Whore, Woman

The Sapphire Spell Series (Ghost Aemond)

Your exquisite suffering calls to me

☣ @happilyhertale☣

Emerald Eyes

Battlefield of Women

Morning Delight

☣ @sylasthegrim☣

To Love and Cherish

Solace in the Silence (Aemond/Otto)

The present is an interlude

The Romance of certain old clothes

☣ @tumblin-theworldaway☣

Heir

Prey

☣ @st-eve-barnes☣

By Your Side

☣ @adragonprinceswhore☣

Warm Me Up

☣ @flowerandblood☣

Stay and Love, Leave and Die

Flowers & Thorns & Hopes and prayers(sequel)

☣ @zaldritzosrose☣

Sanguine Obsession

☣ @almondmilktargaryen☣

A son for a son (a debt paid)

☣ @ewanmitchellcrumbs☣

NSFW Alphabet (Headcannons)

Cockwarming Drabble

Asshekhqoyi Vezhvena

Fall Into Me

Relaxing Drabble

Choiceless in Grief

☣ @anjelicawrites☣

Nipple Piercing drabble (Osferth/Aemond)

☣ @exitpursuedbyavulcan☣

Studious

☣ @sapphire-writes☣

Flowers

☣ @venmondiese☣

Playing with fire & Burning Fire

☣ @ladythornofrivia☣

My Scavenger (Star wars Crossover)

☣ @wackyharpy☣

A Small Appetence

☣ @fairysluna☣

Truly Yours

☣ @madame-fear☣

Chasing the flame of my desire

☣ @superprincesspea☣

Ghost

☣ @kckt88☣

Demon in my dreams

☣ @cluz1babe☣

NSFW Alphabet

☣ @youraverageaemondsimp☣

Incomprehensible Horror

☣ @kate-mccannon☣

The Art of Intimacy

Last Updated 2/15/25

[actualori]

my fic submission for @mcyt-aro-week !!

day 6: coming out (yes it’s a few days late shhhh)

cws: none really, just some slight angst at one point

word count: 2,590

tldr: ori aro-beams sausage for 2.5k words

There’s one thing in life that Sausage has always wanted. And that was someone to love. Not as a friend, he already has plenty of those. Somebody to love. Somebody to hug and kiss and cuddle. Somebody to shower in care and affection and whisper sweet nothings to. Somebody who he would die for.

However, there’s a problem. No matter how hard he’s tried to find somebody to fill those requirements, he can’t.

He’s dated before, lots of people. At first, he thought maybe he was just dating jerks, but after raising the bar, he didn’t get his desired results. He didn’t get any in fact, he’d raised the bar too high. So he lowered it, maybe too much, which resulted in him dating Xornoth. And after dating them and royally screwing up his life, the bar now floats in some undefined limbo.

Now Sausage doesn’t know where to stand on love. He was very discouraged from his past experiences, but he refused to give up on falling in love.

“I just don’t get it,” Sausage complains, flopping onto fWhip’s bed.

“Don’t get what?” fWhip asks, glancing at him.

“Why can't I fall in love?”

“Maybe because you keep dating jerks? And get off my bed I’m trying to make it.”

Ignoring the request, Sausage sighs dramatically, “But still, it can’t be that hard!”

fWhip scoffs and tosses a blanket over Sausage. “It is, in fact, that hard. Besides, aren’t you already in love with Jimmy?”

“I’m not ‘in love’ with him, we aren’t even dating,” Sausage corrects, pulling the blanket off his face. “Besides, he’s already dating Scott. So unless they break up, which I doubt they will, I don’t have the chance to try and fall in love with him.”

“Thank goodness. I would never forgive you if you tried to date him.”

Sausage takes one of the pillows and throws it at fWhip, making him break out into giggles. “Meanie!” He shouts.

fWhip throws the pillow right back, which starts a short pillow fight between the brothers. Once they stop and catch their breath between their giggles, fWhip lays down next to Sausage.

“Seriously, what do you see in him?” fWhip asks.

Sausage thinks for a moment before answering. “Well, he’s nice, he’s funny, he’s pretty, and he makes an adorable face when he’s mad.”

“To each their own I guess.”

“I like him more than I liked Xornoth.”

“I don’t.”

Sausage stared at fWhip in shock. “Really? You like my horrible ex more than your petty rivalry? You like the demon that ruined my life and corrupted my mind and body and abused me and still gives me those horrifying nightmares?”

fWhip looked away. “I don’t. I’m sorry. I hate Xornoth more.”

“Thank you.” Sausage huffed and glared at his brother. He just smiled in response to try and lighten the mood. Sausage had come here for advice and comfort, not to listen to his crush get slandered.

They lay in silence for a few minutes. Does Sausage love Jimmy? Does he want to be his boyfriend? If so, would they ever fall in love? Would it end up like the rest of Sausage's relationships? Would they get married?

Does he even know what it means to be in love with someone?

“fWhip? Have you ever been in love?” Sausage asks quietly.

“Depends on what you mean by ‘in love’.”

Sausage hummed. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t know what it really means. What do you think?”

fWhip lets out a long sigh and sits up. “Sausage, I actually have to finish making my bed and get back to work. Why don’t you try asking Gem? She’s a lot smarter than me with stuff like this.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Sausage says, and he stands up. He puts back on his cloak and follows fWhip out the door. “Thanks for your help.”

“No problem. Good luck,” fWhip says as he escorts Sausage out of his house and closes the door behind him.

Now, Sausage is alone. He decides to walk to the Crystal Cliffs so he has some time to think. He already has a pretty good idea of what loving someone would be like, but what does it mean to be in love with someone? It is the thought of wanting to stay with someone forever, right? To want to love them and marry them and never leave their side. To want them to feel the same way about you.

Yeah, that sounds right. That’s probably it.

Thinking back to his experience with Xornoth, he definitely wasn’t in love with them. He thought he was at the time, but he’s since learned better. All relationships before that weren’t nearly as serious, so he was even less in love then. Jimmy and Scott are probably in love, maybe he can ask them what it’s supposed to be like.

He reaches the Crystal Cliffs after twenty minutes or so of walking. Gem is outside, tending to a small bed of flowers.

“I didn’t expect to see you here again so soon,” Gem said when she noticed Sausage approaching. He'd been here the night before, horribly shaken from a nightmare and seeking comfort from his sister.

“I need help,” Sausage explains, nervously wringing his hands together.

Gem stands up and brushes the small bit of dirt off of her. “What did you do this time?”

“Nothing! I just have a question!”

“Ask away.”

“What does it mean to be in love with someone?”

Gem pauses. She turns to look at Sausage with a surprised look on her face. She sighs, adjusts her ginormous hat, and asks. “Sausage, what’s going on?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking-“

“Wow really? I didn’t know you could.”

“-Shut up! I was thinking about love and the future and realized I didn’t really know what it meant to be in love with someone!”

Gem sighs again. “We’re going to have to sit down for this, aren’t we?” Not waiting for an answer, she takes Sausage by the arm and leads him inside her house. They walk upstairs and upon opening the bedroom door, Sausage immediately runs and flops onto her bed.

“I just made that!” She shouts exasperatedly over Sausage’s giggles. “At least take your shoes off!”

He does, along with his cloak. To her utter dismay, he bundles up in Gem’s perfectly made soft blankets and pillows and blinks innocently up to her.

“You are such a nuisance,” She grumbles with no real malice and sits down next to him on the bed. “Now tell me again, what do you want my help with?”

Sausage sighs. “I was thinking about my life and my future and started wondering if I’d ever fall in love.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Because I’ve always wanted to fall in love with somebody.”

“Yeah.”

“But then I realized that I don’t even know what it means to fall in love.”

“Mhm.”

“So I went to fWhip to ask him and he was no help-“

“Unsurprising.”

“-and he told me to ask you instead. Because you’re smart. And now I’m here.”

Gem nods and thinks for a minute. “Well, you were right to come to me and ask. What do you think it means to be in love?”

“Umm… I think it means wanting to stay with a person and love them and want to kiss them forever.”

“Okay,” Gem says as she grabs a small notepad and starts taking notes. What is this, therapy? Sausage already has a therapist! Maybe he should’ve asked them for help instead. “You said you’ve always wanted to fall in love with somebody, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Why? Sausage pauses. Why does he want to fall in love so badly?

“I don’t know,” He confesses. That’s just what he’s always wanted. Falling in love has always seemed so delightful, and he's always been under the impression that you need to fall in love. That you need to date and get married and stay married to somebody forever. “I guess…” Sausage says, “Because I have to?”

“Do you though?”

Does he?

He stays silent for a few minutes, deep in thought. That’s what he’s always been told, by his parents, the books he’s read, his advisors, everyone. You have to fall in love and get married and have children. His kingdom needs an heir. But if he never falls in love he’ll never have a baby. No, that’s not true. He could always have a child with someone he doesn’t love, his parents did, but his childhood was terrible because of it, and he would never choose to bring that on someone else.

“Why do you think you have to?” Gem asks softly when Sausage doesn’t respond.

“So I’ll be happy,” He responds without thinking.

“Do you need to fall in love to be happy? Aren’t you already happy with us? Your friends? Your family? Your citizens?”

She’s right. He is happy. His life is great without a partner. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“So you don't need it to be happy.”

“But I need it to have an heir. And I really really don’t want to have a kid with someone I don’t love. Look how that turned out for me!”

She hums in response and writes some more on her notepad. “That is true. Your heir needs to be biological, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So adoption is off the table. But do you really need to love your spouse to love your child? My parents didn’t love each other but they sure loved me and fWhip.”

Good point. Sausage could probably pull that off just fine. But if he’s already happy and having a child won’t be a problem, then why does he need to fall in love?

“Isn’t that… bad? To never fall in love?” He asks.

“No, it’s not. There’s nothing wrong with never falling in love in your life.”

Sausage blinks. “Oh.”

Gem puts her notepad down and faces her brother. She takes his hands in hers. “Sausage, do you actually want to fall in love, or do you just think you need to?”

“Of course I want to! Everyone does!”

“I don’t,” Gem corrects.

Sausage pauses and stares at her. That doesn’t make any sense. Why wouldn’t a person want to fall in love? Is she allowed to do that? Is he allowed to do that?

“You can do that?” He asks, flabbergasted.

Gem bursts out laughing. “Yes, Sausage. Of course, you can. Nobody’s forcing you to fall in love if you don’t want to. I don’t really care whether or not I get married, that’s not my priority in life.”

Sausage sits up and stares at Gem. This contradicts everything he’s ever believed. A wave of relief floods through him and is quickly replaced with confusion and aggravation in a way. Why did he spend his whole life believing a lie? That’s not fair.

Gem softens and says, “I’ll ask again. Do you actually want to fall in love?”

“No,” He hears himself say. “No, I don’t.”

Saying that lifts a weight off his shoulders. All of the pressure that he never noticed he was being crushed to death under dissipates. He doesn’t want to fall in love. He doesn’t want to get married. Why did he think he did? Because he was told he needs to? He doesn’t.

“In fact, now that I think about it, I’ve never… actually been in love with anybody,” He continues. “Not even the people I’ve dated. I don’t-“ A sob tears through his body, interrupting his words.

Gem wraps her arms around him in a warm hug. He accepts it, melting into the embrace and sobbing into her shoulder. Gem runs her fingers through his hair and rocks them back and forth. This is familiar. No matter how confusing Sausage’s life gets, this always stays the same. Gem will always be there for him. Once his cries quiet, he pulls away and looks at her.

“Feel better now?” She asks softly, letting go of the hug and taking Sausage’s hands in her own again. He nods and sniffles. Gem smiles and gently squeezes his hands. “I have something for you.”

– –

It’s been two days since Gem gave Sausage a thick book on sexuality. He’d been confused at first when she placed the book in his hands—he already knows that he’s gay, why would he need to learn more? But she just chuckled, gestured to the bookmark left between the pages, and reassured him that he does in fact need it.

He hasn’t read it yet. To be honest, he’s scared about what he might find. His life and perception of himself was already warped, he didn’t need another mind-blowing experience so soon. But he can’t avoid it forever.

Carefully, he picks up the book from his desk, sits down in the chair, and opens it to the bookmarked page. It’s the beginning of a chapter titled “Asexuality”. That’s a term he’s never heard before. He leans back in his chair and starts reading the chapter.

As he reads he starts to understand why Gem gave the book to him. Almost every doubt and question he’d ever had gets answered. Including the most important one. He’s never fallen in love because he doesn’t want to. His brain just isn’t programmed to. And knowing that’s perfectly normal is comforting.

He finishes the chapter in what feels like minutes despite the hour that has passed. Relaxing in his chair, he sighs. Everything is starting to make sense. It’s a lot, he’ll definitely have to reread the chapter several times again, but he understands himself. And that’s all he wanted.

– –

Gem was shelving books in the library when something slams into her from the side, knocking her to the ground. She cries out, the books in her arms flying everywhere. She turns to see who her now-giggling attacker is and to nobody’s surprise, it’s Sausage.

“Can I help you?” She asks as she pushes her brother off her.

“You already did!” He beams.

“I did? What did I do?”

Sausage picks up the book on sexuality from the pile on the floor and shoves it into Gem’s chest. “This!”

It takes her a moment to recognize the book but her face lights up and she gasps when she does. “Was I right?” Sausage nods and Gem pulls him into a hug. They both laugh in delight and hold each other on the floor of the library.

“I’ve learned that I am aromantic and asexual!” He says proudly once they calm down. “That means-“

“I know what that means,” Gem says with no malice. “How do you feel about knowing that?”

“Like my entire life was a lie.”

“But are you happy? Sad?”

“Oh I’m devastated,” He admits. “I’ve always wanted to fall in love and now I know I can’t. But I’ll be okay. It’s not easy discovering your sexuality, you know!”

Gem laughs again and pulls herself onto her feet. “You will be helping me clean all these books up.” She says as she helps Sausage up. He groans but obliges, picking the books off the floor and helping Gem shelve them.

There’s still more to do, like telling Pearl and fWhip, talking about it in therapy, asking Jimmy about his experience being in love and comparing it to his, learning more about his newly discovered sexuality, and replanning his life. But that all sounds incredibly tedious and stressful so he’s not going to worry about that yet. Right now all he needs to think about is where these books go.

[girl-next-door-writes]

You Matter To Me

Characters: Steve Harington x reader

Summary: A shared moment before heading into the Upside Down where you and Steve both reflect on what is important.

Word Count: 1000 words

Prompt: You Matter To Me

A/N: I have been going through some ‘real world’ stuff recently and this song showed up on my radar again and despite the million fics I have to write I felt this needed to be written. It isn’t perfect, I couldn’t find all the words, but if you are reading this then I want you to know that you matter.

Nobody should have this much pressure placed on them, and yet he had taken it almost willingly. The role of leader, of protector, it weighed heavy on his shoulders, and although he hid it well, there were flashes of the truth hidden in those beautiful, soulful eyes; eyes you could happily get lost in, even on the worst days, perhaps especially on the worst days. Their warm richness comforting, even though the slivers of profound sadness swam in their depths. Each horror he had witnessed haunted him, words left unsaid and yet screaming as the two of you looked at each other. Insecurity, doubt, the fragility of his carefully crafted self-confident persona swam in those sad eyes, shattering your heart into a million pieces.

There were no words. The painful realization that nothing said could make things any better, caused a deep ache in your soul. Taking a seat beside him, you simply shuffled closer, tucking yourself into his side and slipping your hand into his. Interlacing your fingers, you looked down at your hands, silently vowing to stay right there by his side for as long as he would let you.

This beautiful boy had gotten under your skin, and although your emotions for him were largely undefined, he mattered to you. He was important. He was…irrevocably connected to you. How do you even begin to tell someone that? It isn’t as simple as those three overused words, and it was deeper than a romantic desire. You saw him, just as he truly was, and knew that he was enough, that your life was infinitely improved by his existence. Did he know that? Was he aware of how he touched everyone’s life? You felt an almost overwhelming desire to grip him by the shoulders and shake him until he understood that he was so much more than he believed; that he truly did matter. But instead, the two of you sat in silence, holding hands and watching the others preparing.

Steve stole a glance at you, allowing himself a moment to just be a nineteen-year-old boy, sitting holding hands with someone he cared about. It was a little addictive spending time with you. There was just something about the way you listened to him, like you heard all the parts he didn’t say out loud, and you didn’t think he was stupid or broken.

He had a close friendship with Robin, he adored his best friend, and then there were the ‘kids’, and Nancy; well, the Nancy thing was complicated. Now he also had Eddie… All these people depending on him, needing him to step up and take the lead. There was a part of him that wanted to run, to just get in his car and drive away from this hellhole and start over. If he’d gone to college then he wouldn’t be here for this shit, this would be someone else’s problem. The guilt of that thought gnawed at him and he subconsciously squeezed your hand. He was scared, but he knew he couldn’t turn his back, he would never forgive himself.

There was something different about this fight, a shadow in the back of his mind that said they might not all make it. Looking around at his friends, he felt his heart clench. They all mattered. Dustin would probably go on to cure some deadly disease or figure out a way for everyone to live on the moon or some shit. Lucas, he had a shot at becoming a pro athlete, if he focused. Nancy had a bright future as a journalist maybe, blowing the lid off government corruption and saving people… Each and every one of them had such potential to make a real difference in the world. The only person he could even consider disposable in the grand scheme of things, was himself. This might be the one thing, the moment where he might be of some importance, making sure the rest of them got through.

He was brought out of his thoughts by your head resting on his shoulder. It was such a small gesture but it grounded him, and he found himself leaning down, his cheek pressing against your hair as he closed his eyes.

“Steve?” Your voice was so quiet that he could easily have imagined that you had spoken.

“Yeah?”

“You matter to me. More than all this. More than most people.” Your words hung in the air between the two of you and he felt a tear roll down his cheek.

“Thanks.”

“I mean it. Don’t go doing anything ‘heroic’, because if something happens to you then I’m just gonna have to make a deal with the devil, or bring you back as a zombie or something, and then you’ll be screwed. You will feel my wrath.”

“Your wrath?” he chuckled, an eyebrow raising in amusement as he opened his eyes again.

“Yes, my wrath. I will be incredibly pissed at you for doing something so stupid, and for leaving me, and then making me learn voodoo so I can bring you back to yell at you.”

“Yeah, that does seem like it might be a bit of a hassle.”

“A major one. So, just promise me you will try your best to see me on the other side of all this because, for some fucked up reason Harrington, you really matter to me.”

“Okay.” He said softly, his fingers playing with yours as he took your words to heart. Turning his head slightly, he placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head and let out a deep sigh. “And, for the record, you matter to me too.”

You didn’t reply, you didn’t have to. It was obvious that the feelings between the two of you were simultaneously infinitely complex and so simple. Hopefully there would be time to explore each and every nuance of what it meant to matter to each other, but for now, Steve was content to just sit beside you and feel.

[ao3sbatfamily]

Hi!

Some - preferably long - fics about Damian adapting to life in the Batfamily after the League stuff? Misunderstandings and angst with happy ending?

Good Dad Bruce and Good Sibling Dick, please!

Here's a short one and a long one.

(Restricted) 'Obsolete Tools and Tangible Miseries' by Corybantic

“Well, about that …” Damian’s blood runs cold, tongue too big in his mouth and entire body tingling. “You’re kind of benched.”

“Why?” Damian tries to make the words come out steady and even but he’s pretty sure it doesn’t work. All of a sudden Drake’s behavior makes sense. Drake was watching him because he wanted to be able to rub it in Damian’s face when he woke up.

“Reckless endangerment.” Damian’s brow furrows, wishing now more than ever that he remembered what had happened.

“Who got hurt?” Thinking about it chokes him up a bit, it feeds the conflict that culminates in his mind. The idea that collateral damage was imminent and all it took was one bad day for him to get caught in the crosshairs. The idea that he’s supposed to cleanse all evil, no matter how small, clashes with his desire to do better.

The look on Tim’s face was undefinable, just outside the understanding of emotion that Damian had been carefully curating. Seemingly conflicted, or confused, or sad, Damian wasn’t sure.

“You. You got hurt.” Damian blinks, half relieved and half confused.

'Thera-Pet' by Jlynn105

“While Damian’s away I think we should send Titus to a service dog training facility,” Tim revealed and Jason gave him a raised eyebrow in response. 

“The brat’s already trained his dog.” The objection was true enough. Titus was seated exactly where Damian put him before walking out the door. However, Tim had planned for this argument and already prepared his closing thoughts. 

“Maybe, but if you would turn your attention to the main TV” Once he had pointed it out, it didn’t take long for Bruce and Dick to smile and sit by the couches. They had seen Tim’s grand presentations before and Jason didn’t need too many hints once the PowerPoint title slide came on.

“As we all know, Damian exhibits many signs of PTSD including social anxiety, separation anxiety, normal anxiety, depression, fidgeting with knives, panic attacks, insomnia, and the list could continue.”

[mccnstruck]

hold me like you understand.

characters: kazuha x gn!reader

tags: TW!!: implied depression and $u!cida! thoughts, mention of sh, vent fic, op is going through it, not proofread, hurt/comfort, kissing, the ending sucks

a/n: sorry guys 😭

the people down in the shops wandered around, yelling prices and selling different products. kids ran outside with the ball, yelling and laughing underneath the joyous warmth of the sun. friends gathered to drink tea, warriors trained amidst the green fields.

the wooden floor began to slide underneath your bed, yet you didn't seem to care; your eyes unfocused and stoic. your bed piled with clothes of the past day, your blanket had a eerie smell of sickness, yet you didn’t seem to care; you hands were too weak to pull the blanket over you fully. your throat felt like sandpaper and your stomach yearned for at least a small meal, yet you didn’t seem to care, your lips broken and bleeding.

nothing really mattered anymore, did it? it felt like weeks have turned into days, and your sense of time slipped away from the grasp of your fingers. you were too tired to grasp it back; letting reality slip away. nothing really mattered, did it? the red scars testing the fragility of your skin, the cold air making the hairs on your skin stand. your desk remained clattered of the endless amount of work given to you 2 days prior. your eyes consisted of red, either because of the 2 hours of sleep or the tears that fell onto your bed.

when was the last time someone had visited you? now that you think about it, when was the last time you talked to someone out of your own desire..?

it didn’t matter anyways. they wouldn’t want to talk to someone who doesn’t even know how to take care of themselves.

so, you laid there for a undefined amount of time. the soft promises of warmth and comfort from your bed soon turned into a confined suffocation; forced to face the thoughts in your head.

your chest hurt. you were tired. you wished you could see light, literally and figuratively. would you feel some relief? or would that light overwhelm you; the burdens of life forcing you back into the darkness of your room?

there’s nothing for you here. all of your loved ones were better off if they weren’t forced with the burden of acknowledging you anyways.

and yet, the knock on your door says otherwise.

a soft voice echoes through the walls of your home. “[name]?”

kazuha? what was he doing here?

your voice cracks, yet somehow you find the power to reply.

“sorry, give me a minute…!”

with the task of not disappointing kazuha, you rushed to get up and change into the clothes on your bed. your legs almost crumble after curling up into a ball for so long, yet you will yourself to walk to the main door.

you squint your eyes when you peek outside to see kazuha with something in his hands. the light of another day shined into your home from the crack of the door. kazuha softly laughed when he saw two eyes peek back at him.

“hello, you. i just wanted to pop in, if you don’t mind? it’s been a while, and i would like to spend some time with you.”

“um, its really messy inside…”

“i don’t mind. well, unless you want me to go? i don’t mind either way. whatever you wish.”

you don’t want kazuha to see the calamity of your home. but having him over would be nice.

“…promise you won’t judge?”

“of course, dear.”

you opened the door some more for him to enter. as he walked in, his eyes widened. your home looked dim and felt stiff. he looked at you in your entirety to see dark eye bags, unkempt clothes and tear stains marking your face.

he placed down the bag in his hands and moved closer to you, his crimson eyes dilated in fear of losing you to your thoughts. “my love…what happened?”

your voice cracked. your hands began to shake at his question. “it’s…. it’s been a rough few weeks. i’m sorry.”

he held your hands with caution, and let his lips linger on your skin. “don’t be sorry for not feeling alright. you should’ve told me of the thoughts that lingered in your head.”

he tugged on your hands, and you followed him to your kitchen. he sat you down on the chair and walked behind the counter.

"do you wish for a specifc food?"

"kazuha..."

"shh. let us make something, ok?"

he began to work with what you had, humming to a tune you weren't familiar with. he paced around the kitchen, while asking you where things were. you pointed to each cabinet, naming what was in there and what needed to be restocked. kazuha smiled and made his way to you to kiss your cheek. his lips lingered onto your skin and whispered, "thank you for helping me, dove."

soon, the spoons clicked at the bottom of the bowl, and your stomach was content with finally consuming something. saying your thanks and helping him with washing the plates, you finally move into your bedroom.

you were scared. the eerie smell never left your room and if kazuha were to even flinch at the condition of your room, you wouldn't know what to do with yourself.

and yet, kazuha walked in as if he didn't notice. he lit the small candle in your room and walked back to you, dazed and bewildered.

kazuha pulled your arm and let his own wrap around you. his face fit into the crook of your neck, and he gave a gentle squeeze. you swore you almost cried when he held you with such care, a reassurance that he was with you.

"kazuha...?"

his own voice was shaky, yet he whispered.

"i'm so sorry, dove. i'm so sorry for letting your mind consume you. i should've noticed sooner. "

"kazu, you didn’t have to-"

"i want to. it's not easy to face all these burdens, and you are the strongest person i know. you've done so much for me and so many other people. let me take some of those burdens, let me take care of you."

you hiccup, and a fresh set of tears stained his clothes.

"kazuha, why do you do so much for me?"

your cries echoed the room, and kazuha's heart broke. here in his arms, stood a person, who he thought deserved every bit of joy of the world, crying to him because they couldn't even find a reason for his kindness. his willingness to help was for the satisfaction of his heart, not of a ulterior motive. but to think that you, his love, would need a reason of kindness, because you thought you didn't deserve his love, you didn't deserve him.

kazuha answers, "because you are you. before you are my love, you are you. you are human. that in itself, should be all the answers to that question. but, i know your mind won't settle for only that."

he leans back, and you mourn the loss of warmth. his hand cradle your cheek, and he guides your face to look at him. "i want to help because you mean so much to me. it doesn't seem like it, but you mean so much to others too. captain beidou was asking about you the other day. she wanted your input on something, now that i think about it. and before, when i went off to liyue, the kids over there still remember you as the person who played catch with them. even your mama sent over something. i left it on the counter, but auntie told me she had made your favorite sweets."

kazuha examined your eyes, ignoring the shock written on your face.

"i don't see the stars in your eyes; it pains me to see it so dimmed. no matter how far i am willing to follow, i cannot reach you when you are so deep in your mind's cage. please, let the people care for you. you deserve this much."

he leaned in, and in the time it took you nod, he had leaned into a kiss. his other hand remained firm on your waist, and he muffled the sighs from you. your face felt unclean and dirty, you wanted to say. he telepathically answered by peppering kisses on your face, the sensation ticklish. you feel the laugh burst from your chest, and you also feel kazuha's smile on your skin.

voice muffled from peppering kisses onto you, he mumbles. "h'vent heard you laugh in so long. you sh'ld laugh and smile more."

he was right, you thought. this is the first time you genuinely laughed in... how long? you didn't care to count the time passed.

when he leaned back, he saw you smiling at him with a glint of light in your eyes. kazuha gives you a smile of his own. "mission complete."

he leaves one last kiss on your lips, before pulling you in another hug.

"thank you, kazu."

"don't mention it."

"do you want to help me gift something for mama this afternoon?"

you feel his smile on your neck as he whispers a yes.

the candle burned brightly on your desk. you hoped it forever stayed that way in your heart.

[yuechihua]

fic: remember me as i am

I actually had a lot of difficulty with starting this fic, if only because I was juggling several different ideas and wasn't sure how I wanted to merge them, or which one I wanted to write first! I was also unsure how I wanted to start this one, until I decided to just take a stab at it, and 4.5k words later, here we are…

This is the third fic of my unofficial Harumasa series, and I think it's the first one where I had like no idea of where I wanted it to go. I didn't have a clear end goal in mind, and had to outline some scene ideas as a loose guide, but I did like the end result! It's meant to be a bit more casual and low stakes, while still carrying the same tone of wistful, transient happiness the other pieces have.

I wanted to tap a little into the idea of having an undefinable relationship, or being unable to access traditional ideas of relationships! This has a lot to do with reader and Harumasa's circumstances (their jobs, Harumasa's illness, Harumasa's emotional issues... and how both of them keep a certain distance from each other yet can't help but draw close, especially in response to the other). As such, they're only able to access a traditional relationship when they're "pretending" to do so, or there's some other factor at play that makes this necessary (ie lying to the doctor). I wouldn't say they both necessarily secretly want a traditional mode of relationship, but there is a longing for each other that's hard for either of them to define, hyper awareness of certain boundaries that can't be crossed, and a desire to be closer in ways their circumstances don't allow.

This is also heavily inspired by Harumasa's various trust events, and also his "for display only" video on the official ZZZ account! I thought it would be cute to play into the idea of "pretending to be Harumasa's family" as "pretending to be Harumasa's spouse," and then I wanted to expand it some more by touching upon his habit of photographing important events in his life as often as he can.

There's a lot of physical touch in this piece. That's both because I adore physical touch as a form of affection, but also to contrast reader's and Harumasa's words and actions. They claim to joke around, that this is merely a deception, yet they can't stop physically relying on each other, or clinging to the other. It's a fun little contradiction for both of them!

[the-chipped-cup-awards]

2024 Chipped Cup Awards - Masterlist

Here, once again, are the winners of the 2024 Chipped Cup Awards

FLUFF:

Family: Tea and Roses by @thatravenclawbitch

Comfort: Struck By a Golden Arrow by @avatoh

Fix-it: Ritual by @peacehopeandrats

Reunion: A Dream is a Wish by @rowofstars

SMUT:

Kink/BDSM: On The House by @kelyon

Romance: Brandy, Apples, and Spice by @rufeepeach

Comedy: Accidents by @peacehopeandrats

Threesome: Fulfilling a Fantasy by @thescholarlystrumpet

First Time: Queen Takes Knight by @emospritelet

PWP: In the Dark and Wicked Hours by @rowofstars

ANGST:

Death: Strong for Belle by @desperatemurph

Hurts So Good: To Have and To Hold by @thatravenclawbitch

Misunderstanding: Unexpected But Not Unwelcome by @tickletorso

ROMANCE:

Date (overall) Lost and Found by @peacehopeandrats

Courtship: The Sweetest Dream by @threepwoodmarley

First Meeting: Portrait of the Heart by @chippedcupwrites

GENERAL:

One Shot: Pages of Reverie by @chippedcupwrites

Series: Lover’s Leap by @eirian-houpe

Novel Length: Mountains, Streams, and Magical Things by @peacehopeandrats

Short Fic: Babysitting by @timelordthirteen

Holiday Centric: Brandy, Apples, and Spice by @rufeepeach

Remix: Our Masks by @lotus0kid

Crossover: A Blade for Belfrey by @eirian-houpe

Dark Castle: Marble by @peacehopeandrats

Storybrooke: Leaving Storybrooke by @peacehopeandrats

"Missing Years": The Tent of Infinite Adventure by @peacehopeandrats

Wish!Verse: Deception by @eirian-houpe

SPECIAL CATEGORIES:

Golden Lace: The Storybrooke Whisky Appreciation Society by @threepwoodmarley

Woven Beauty: Undefined Desires by @worryinglyinnocent

Background Swanfire: To Have and to Hold by @thatravenclawbitch

Afterlife: Granted by @peacehopeandrats

Drama: Love Me Before the Last Petal Falls by @deliriumsdelight7

Supernatural/Sci-fi/Horror: The Cunning by @mareyshelley

Comedy: Lacey and the Tramp by @chippedcupwrites

AU-Original: Wretched Beginnings by @poorobscureplainandlittle

AU- OUAT: Tales of Gold by @JurisLadyAnna

AU-Other Media: The Black Swan by @deliriumsdelight7

Creature: The Finfolk’s Bride by @chippedcupwrites

Unexpected Twist: Contract by @kelyon

Bobby Squared: A Blade for Belfrey by @eirian-houpe

Trope: Love Me Before the Last Petal Falls by @deliriumsdelight7

English Language: To Nurse by @charon53

EVENTS

RSS: If You Will Be My Queen by @eirian-houpe

Fluffapalooza (Fic): The Tea Shop by @peacehopeandrats

Fluffapalooza (Art): Kiss Me Again, It’s Working by @milaeryn

Monthly Rumbelling: The Landlord and the Princess by @Rumplerose (AO3)

CHARACTER AWARDS

Belle: The Not So Dark One by @charlotteashmore13

Dark One!Belle: Rags to Riches by @alphashley14

Lacey: Sore Hearted Souls by @nerdrumple

Spinner!Rumple: Witch and Spinner by @Strummer_Pinks

Dark One!Rumple: Gilded by @eirian-houpe

Wish!Rumple: Once There Was a Wish by @peacehopeandrats

Mr. Gold: The Caretaker by @thestraggletag

Detective Weaver: Forgery by @peacehopeandrats

Baelfire/Neal: A House Built With Love by @of-princes-and-savages

Gideon: Finding You by @clarahue

OC Rumbelle Child: The Zoo by @peacehopeandrats

Villain: Cora in On the House by @kelyon

BFF/Wingman: Mountains, Streams, and Magical Things by @peacehopeandrats

ART

Fan Art: Kiss Me Again, It’s Working by @milaeryn

Graphic Art: And Love is When Someone Who Even KNows Your Scars Stays To Kiss You by @chippedcupwrites

AU In Art: Belle Isn’t Fascinated by the Idea of Marrying Gaston by @notonlymice

Fluff Art: Belle French and the Dork One by @chippedcupwrites

Angsty Art: In My Memory It Doesn’t End by @ace-cf-cups

Comic/Graphic Novel: Wearing Each Other’s Clothes by @angelqueen13art

Use of Color: Kiss Me Again, It’s Working by @milaeryn

Video: Your Beauty Never Ever Scared Me by @chippedcupwrites

SUPERLATIVES:

Best Artist: @chippedcupwrites

Best Author: @kelyon

Best New Author: @ace-cf-cups

Best Rumbelle Fic: The Language of Flowers by @deliriumsdelight7

Best Anyelle Fic: Let’s Spend the Night Together by @ifishouldvanish

Best Anyem Fic: Tyger Tyger by @shakespeareanhoneybadgers

Rumbelle Lifetime Achievement: @jackabelle73

[astrakim]

The Space Between Us

[Part 1] [Part 2]

> enemies to lovers | slow burn | bed-sharing | fluff, angst, emotional smut

>genre: childhood rivals to lovers,

friends-forced-to-share-a-bed, emotional tension,

slow burn

>word count: 17.9k [combined]

>summary: They started as neighbors. Then came a stupid night - and suddenly, Heeseung and Y/N were enemies. Years of rivalry, endless tension, and a thousand unspoken feelings between them.

When a group trip forces them to share a bed, everything changes. Jealousy flares. Secrets unravel. And the line between hate and desire blurs in ways neither of them expected.

What if the enemy was never really the enemy?

>series warnings: suggestive tension, mutual pining, soft vulnerability, swearing, kissing, a lot of staring, protected sex (wrap it yall), oral (f.rec), fingering, heeseung is a flirt, misunderstanding, Sunoo lowkey OR highkey being a menace matchmaker, thats all ig let me know if I should add anything

>date: [3/6/25]

note: This is my first fic ever guyss, its not that good yet as I'm just starting out but its worth reading.

Reblogs and likes are really appreciated.

Enjoy your read!.

Heeseung was annoyingly pretty.

Not the kind of pretty that made you weak in the knees, but the kind that made you want to punch a wall out of pure spite. He had a face that could’ve been sculpted by artists who hated modesty — sharp jaw, smooth skin, eyes that looked like they always knew more than you did. And he walked like the world owed him something, like confidence was stitched into his spine.

I hated that he was tall. I hated that he smelled good even after gym.

I hated that no matter how much I tried, he always got under my skin.

I hated how his smile always made my heart flip.

And the worst part?

He grew up next door.

---

We weren’t always like this.

There was a time when Heeseung was the kid who’d sneak bugs into my backpack just to make me scream — and I’d chase him down the street with a plastic baseball bat. Summer evenings meant chalk drawings on the sidewalk, dripping ice cream cones, and lazy dares on the swingset.

How we were always joined by hip, going anywhere and everywhere together.

Until...until the day we weren't.

“Why Do You Hate Heeseung So Much?”

People ask me that all the time.

Usually when we’re out — surrounded by too many snacks and too few brain cells — someone always turns to me with a grin and says,

“Come on, Y/N. Be honest. Why do you hate Heeseung so much?”

And I always have a list ready.

“He’s insufferable.”

“He thinks being tall makes him superior.”

“He flirts with waitresses then tips like a grandpa.”

It’s become a bit. A running joke.

But the truth?

The truth is I don’t actually hate Heeseung.

I just never forgave him.

Not really.

Because back when we were fifteen, there was this one night — the kind you don’t really forget.

The kind you carry with you even when you’re trying hard not to.

It was warm out. Sticky, quiet. One of those summer nights where everything feels a little more honest.

We ended up in the treehouse behind my backyard — the one we used to play in when we were kids. It wasn’t planned. Just one of those things where I looked out the window and saw him pacing his driveway, and he looked up like he was waiting for me to.

So I went.

And we talked.

About things we didn’t talk about with anyone else.

His parents. My insecurities. Feeling stuck. Feeling… seen.

For a second — maybe longer — it felt like something changed.

Like maybe we weren’t just neighbors. Or childhood friends. Or that weird undefined space in between.

There was a pause.

A moment.

I swore he was going to kiss me.

He didn’t.

And that was fine, a little disappointing because I always wanted him to be my first kiss… but it was fine.

But the next day?

He ghosted.

No texts. No calls. No “you up?” late-night window knocks like usual. Just… nothing.

Avoided me at school. Like I had made everything up in my head.

So when my friend asked about it, I said it was nothing. Just a “weird night.”

I laughed it off. Pretended I didn’t care but I did.

Pretended it didn't hurt but it did.

I waited. I gave it a day. Then another. Then another.

And eventually, I got tired of waiting.

I kept thinking: Was I wrong? Did I imagine it?

Maybe it hadn’t meant anything to him. Maybe I’d read it all wrong.

So I got angry. At him. At myself. At all of it.

Until one day….

“…Y/N, what do you think?

I blink out of my thoughts, realizing Professor Kim is looking directly at me — marker in hand, pausing mid-diagram.

Crap.

I glance at the board. Cellular respiration. ATP. Glycolysis. Okay, not too bad.

“It produces a net gain of two ATP molecules,” I answer, trying to sound confident.

Professor Kim smiles. “Exactly.”

And then from across the room — like clockwork — a voice I’ve been trying to ignore for the past three months speaks up, slow and smug:

“That’s… technically wrong.”

My head snaps to the right.

Heeseung.

Of course.

I clench my jaw. “No, it’s not.”

He leans back in his seat, arms folded, looking so pleased with himself.

“Pretty sure it’s four ATP, not two. You might want to actually read the textbook instead of skimming the summary.”

The class collectively exhales — that quiet, anticipatory hush that means oh, they’re fighting again.

I don’t even hesitate. “It produces four, but the net gain is two. Because you invest two in the energy investment phase.” I say it slowly, like I’m talking to a toddler. “Try to keep up.”

Someone near us snorts.

Heeseung’s smile twitches — the fake one he does when he’s losing. “Wow, look at you. One correct answer and suddenly you’re Bill Nye.”

“And yet, still doing better than you.”

“Is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night?”

“No, I use the thought of beating you in literally everything.”

“Dream big, Y/N.”

“Oh, I do. And you losing is a recurring theme.”

Professor Kim clears her throat sharply.

“That’s… enough. This is a biology class, not a debate club.”

The room awkwardly shuffles back to silence. But the damage is done. The tension — electric and unmissable — simmers between us.

That was the day we stopped just not talking.

And somehow, we turned into rivals.

Every answer. Every grade. Every seat in the library.

We competed. We snarked. We fought over who got the front seat and who picked the movie.

And it stuck.

It wasn’t just silence anymore.

It was a war.

Now we’re that pair. The two people in the group chat who always have beef.

So when people ask, “Why do you hate Heeseung so much?”

I shrug and give them a new fake reason.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

By high school, we were fluent in mutual loathing.

Group projects? Nightmare.

Game nights? Constant sabotage.

Truth or Dare? Always dare — always dangerous.

Still, somehow, we had the same group of friends.

Which is how we both ended up in a shared cabin during a seven-day mountain trip planned entirely and suspiciously by Sunoo.

Day One:

It’s already golden hour by the time we pull up to the cabin.

The car ride was long, filled with stupid games, backseat arguments, and the occasional off-key group karaoke moment — but stepping out into the pine-scented air makes it all worth it. The place is beautiful: tucked into a clearing with string lights stretched across the porch, wooden stairs leading to a wraparound deck, and big windows reflecting the soft amber sky.

The cabin was charming, in a murder-in-the-woods kind of way.

“This is so cute,” Sunoo says, hopping out with his phone already out to record. “Everyone say ‘cabin core’!”

“Cabin core,” the group repeats in half-hearted unison, dragging their bags toward the porch.

I grab my duffel and start toward the stairs, only to hear the trunk slam behind me — and him right on my heels.

Heeseung brushes past like I’m not there, earphones still in, hoodie hood up despite the warm breeze. I resist the urge to trip him. Barely.

“Wow, look at the view,” Jake says from the porch, gazing out at the lake shimmering through the trees.

“I can’t wait to not move from this place for the entire week,” says Jay, stretching like he just completed a marathon.

The inside of the cabin is even prettier. Wood paneling, cozy furniture, a fireplace that Jake immediately tries to light (and is immediately banned from touching again), and the smell of cinnamon-scented something already in the air thanks to Sunoo’s overprepared weekend grocery bag.

Heeseung and I don’t say a word to each other.

We never really do anymore — not unless it’s sarcastic, competitive, or accidentally laced with heat we both pretend isn’t there.

It’s been like that for years.

Still, when I catch him looking at the bookshelf in the corner — the same exact way he used to look at my bookshelf when we were ten — I look away before I feel something stupid.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

The fire crackles.

Sunoo’s managed to light a proper bonfire outside, and we’ve all dragged blankets and folding chairs around it like a cliché summer movie. Someone’s speaker plays soft lo-fi beats, and the marshmallows are already melting unevenly on sticks over the flame.

It’s peaceful. Easy.

Well, mostly.

Heeseung’s sitting two spots away from me — too close to ignore, too far to fight with. He’s wearing that gray zip-up I hate because it makes his stupid collarbones more noticeable. The firelight dances across his face, and he’s chewing on a marshmallow like he owns the place.

I pretend to scroll through my phone. But I hear it — his laugh, low and lazy — when Jake says something dumb. The kind of laugh that used to be directed at me.

Now it just pisses me off.

“Alright!” Sunoo suddenly claps his hands together distracting me from my thoughts. He was oddly too excited for someone assigning sleeping arrangements.I know that look on Sunoo’s face. That scheming glint behind his sparkly eyes “So, for the rooms…”

“I already claimed the bed near the big window,” says Jay.

“Sunghoon and I are bunking,” Jake adds, poking his marshmallow. “I sleepwalk. He’s scared of ghosts. It balances out.”

“Then…” Sunoo smirks like this is the highlight of his night. “Room two… Heeseung and Y/N.”

And just like that—

“No.”

“Absolutely not.”

We speak at the exact same time.

Heeseung throws a hand out toward Sunoo, like he can reverse time. “I’m not rooming with her.”

“Yeah, same,” I say, arms crossed. “Put me with literally anyone else. Anyone who doesn’t roll their eyes every time I breathe.”

Heeseung scoffs. “You’re one to talk. You hum like a microwave at 2AM.”

Room with him for an entire week??

God~ I won't survive.

Sunghoon, lounging on a log nearby, sips his hot chocolate and shrugs. “Too bad. All the other rooms are full. Unless you want to sleep outside with the bugs.”

I narrow my eyes. “What about the couch?”

“The couch is LAYLA’s bed,” Jake says sweetly, referring to their golden retriever who’s currently curled up like royalty on a throw blanket inside. “Sorry.”

Heeseung turns to me with a blank look. “This is your fault.”

I blink. “My fault?”

“You pissed off the universe somehow. And now I have to suffer.”

“Oh my god,” I mutter, grabbing my bag and stomping toward the house.

“Don’t snore,” he calls behind me.

“Don’t exist,” I shout back.

≻─── ⋆✩⋆ ───≺

The room is nice. Cozy. Wooden cabin aesthetic, warm lighting, one queen-sized bed in the center.

We both stop at the door and stare at it.

“Nope,” I say first. “You’re taking the floor.”

Heeseung tosses his bag onto the dresser and raises a brow. “Excuse me? You’re the one who talks in your sleep. I’m not risking my life.”

“I do not talk in my sleep.”

“Sunghoon has videos.”

I glare at him. “Well then good. The floor will hide you from the sound of my ‘threatening’ sleep murmurs.”

He drops his bag to the floor with an unnecessarily dramatic thud.

“Fine. I’ll take the bed.”

“No, I’m taking the bed.”

He turns. “You just said I should take the floor.”

“Yeah, but I remembered you’re insufferable, and I’ve suffered enough.”

He walks over to the bed and sits on the edge slowly, locking eyes with me like it’s a silent dare. “Call dibs.”

I scoff. “Seriously?”

“Dibs.”

I fold my arms. “I will smother you with that pillow.”

“I bet you dream about doing that every night.”

The stare-off lasts too long. His knees are still touching the edge of the bed. I’m still gripping my hoodie like it’s a weapon. The silence stretches thin — until we both huff at the same time and speak in unison:

“We’re not sharing.”

Another beat passes.

“Fine!”

“You’re not touching me,” I say flatly.

“Like I’d want to.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

We both exhale.

Then, reluctantly — like it physically pains us — we mutter, almost at the same time:

“We’ll build a pillow wall.”

The cabin is silent except for the soft whisper of wind outside.

I’m barely asleep, the pillow wall between Heeseung and me standing like a fragile fortress.

Then—thud.

The pillows tumble.

I freeze, heart racing.

A soft curse escapes from the other side of the bed.

Heeseung’s voice, low and barely a whisper, breaks the quiet.

“Dammit.”

I swallow, eyes adjusting to the dim moonlight filtering through the window.

He shifts closer than expected.

I hold my breath.

“I’m not moving,” he says, voice rough but quiet. “You can move.”

I don’t say anything. Instead, I inch closer too — just enough so our shoulders brush.

It’s accidental. It’s terrifying. It’s... comforting.

The warmth of his skin seeps through the thin blanket.

For the first time in years, the space between us feels less like a battlefield and more like home.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Day 2:

Sunlight seeps through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the cabin. The group stirs awake, groaning and stretching, dragging themselves toward the kitchen for breakfast. I’m still half-asleep, but the looming day ahead is impossible to ignore.

Sunoo’s voice cuts through the sleepy haze. “Alright, everyone! Zipline park today! Get ready to fly!”

Heeseung shoots me a look as if daring me to back out. I glare right back. “Chicken,” I say before anyone else can.

His smirk is all the answer I need. “You’re going down.”

The car ride is loud with music and chatter, but between Heeseung and me? Nothing but cold shoulders and barely concealed glares. I catch him stealing quick looks at me, and I pretend not to notice. The air between us is taut, like a wire stretched to snapping.

Arriving at the zipline park, the thrill buzzes through the group. Harnesses click on, helmets are tightened, and the guide’s instructions fill the air. I stand beside Heeseung on the platform, my heart pounding.

“Ready?” he asks, voice low, almost a challenge.

“Yeah. You?”

He jumps first, smooth and confident, and I grit my teeth before leaping after him. The wind roars past, and I land clumsily, trying not to look like a mess.

“Not terrible,” Heeseung says, barely hiding the teasing edge in his voice.

“Thanks for the compliment” I snap, brushing past him.

–

Later, in line for the next zipline, Jake and Sunghoon joke nearby, and I laugh at one of Jake’s dumb jokes. I don’t notice Heeseung’s gaze tightening on me.

“What’s so funny?” he says, voice casual but sharp.

“Jake told a joke. It’s funny.”

He snorts, but there’s something almost possessive in the way he looks at me — maybe jealousy? — before he masks it with a shrug. I roll my eyes, but it stings more than I want to admit.

---

The hike back is tense. Heeseung falls in step beside me, but there’s an uncomfortable silence between us.

“You’re annoying,” I mutter, bumping his shoulder.

He scoffs. “Right back at you.”

We bicker over who’s walking too slow, who’s taking the wrong path, and who’s responsible for ruining the snacks. The others laugh and tease us relentlessly.

Jay winks and calls out, “You two should just kiss already and save us the drama!”

The group bursts out laughing, and my face heats up instantly. Heeseung’s jaw tightens, and he looks like he’s trying not to laugh — or maybe not trying hard enough.

“Shut up, Jay,” I say, but my voice is shaky.

Heeseung smirks, shaking his head. “Yeah, shut up.”

The teasing continues, and every time someone drops a “Maybe you’re secretly in love” comment, we both look away, cheeks burning, pretending not to hear.

By the time we reach the cabin, the tension hasn’t eased, but something under the surface has shifted — a quiet, uneasy awareness neither of us wants to admit out loud.

≻─── ⋆✩⋆ ───≺

The sun dips low as the group settles outside by a crackling bonfire. The air smells of smoke and pine, the sky painted with streaks of orange and purple. Everyone’s chatting, roasting marshmallows (which Sunoo managed to convince everyone should be a night thing of this trip), and joking around—but between Heeseung and me, the silence is almost deafening.

Sunoo nudges Jake, nodding toward us. “Hey, you two look like you’re about to start a fight or make out. What’s it gonna be?”

Jake laughs, “Honestly, just kiss already. We’re tired of this back-and-forth.”

I glare at both of them, cheeks heating up, while Heeseung shoots a warning glance my way.

“Shut up, you idiots,” Heeseung mutters, but the slight smile tugging at his lips betrays his embarrassment.

Later, as the group heads inside, the reality hits: We are still sharing that bed.

Sighing, I get ready to sleep.

The cabin is quiet except for the occasional crackle from the fireplace. The pillow wall between us still stands—though now a little worse for wear, more lopsided than before. We’re both lying on our sides, backs turned, eyes fixed on opposite corners of the room.

For the first time since we started sharing this bed, Heeseung’s foot nudges mine—a brief, accidental touch.

I don’t pull away.

Minutes stretch on.

His voice, low and hesitant, breaks the silence.

“Your jacket… it’s cold.”

Without looking, I shrug it off and toss it toward him.

He doesn’t move it back, just lets it lie there—on his side of the pillow wall.

Later, as I reach for my water bottle, my hand brushes against his. We freeze.

Neither of us says anything, but the awkwardness is different this time—less like a challenge, more like a question.

The pillow wall shifts again, wobbling precariously, and I laugh softly.

“Guess this thing isn’t very strong.”

Heeseung snorts, the sound almost like a smile.

“Yeah, neither are we.”

My heart skipped a beat. What does he mean by this? Did I hear it right?

We don’t say more, but the tension feels... lighter. The fights still come, but somehow, sharing this small space makes the distance between us just a little less unbearable.

As sleep pulls us in, the quiet between us feels less like a wall and more like a fragile bridge.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Day 3:

By morning, something is different. Not drastically, not in a way anyone could really name — but it’s there.

Heeseung doesn’t rush to the bathroom before me like it’s a competition. He even holds the door open. And when I come out, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, tying his shoes with a calm I don’t quite recognize.

“You snore,” he says flatly.

I scoff. “I do not.”

“You do. Tiny snores. Like a cartoon chipmunk.”

My pillow hits his back. He throws it right back at me, and for a second, we’re laughing — real, genuine laughter. It's strange. Light. I almost forget I’m supposed to hate him.

---

The group decides on the amusement park today. I should’ve known it’d be chaos — Sunoo bouncing with excitement, Jake challenging everyone to ride the tallest coaster, and the teasing? Nonstop.

“Oh, you two again,” Jay drawls as we climb out of the car. “Still alive after sharing a bed?”

“Barely,” I mutter.

“She kicked me in her sleep,” Heeseung says with mock betrayal.

“You deserved it.”

But it’s... gentler now. Even our bickering feels like a game we’re both playing, testing the boundaries of how far we’ve come since that first bitter night.

---

At the entrance, we split into smaller groups. I end up next to Heeseung in line for the haunted house. Typical.

He smirks. “Scared?”

“Of some fake zombies and fog machines? Please.”

“Should I hold your hand?”

His voice is casual, too casual — like he’s joking, but the heat crawling up my neck says otherwise.

“I’d rather hold a chainsaw,” I shoot back.

But he doesn’t stop smiling. Not the usual cocky kind, either. It’s softer. Like he’s not laughing at me — just enjoying watching me squirm.

Inside the haunted house, something grabs my ankle — one of those dumb animatronics. I shriek.

Heeseung’s arm wraps around my shoulder instinctively. It’s solid, warm, a little too comforting. I stiffen. So does he.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, pulling away like I burned him.

“No... it’s fine,” I say, almost whispering. I think we’re both too aware of how easy it felt. How natural.

---

By afternoon, we’re drifting in a carousel of games, rides, and too much cotton candy. I notice the way Heeseung lingers when I walk ahead, subtly slowing to match my pace. When I can’t finish my soda, he grabs it and without hesitation drink it from the every straw I drank from.

Is it a indirect kiss?

I slap myself out of that thought

Control y/n he’s your enemy. But he’s so handsome.

“Y/n…” Heeseung’s voice pulls me back to reality

“What?” I snap unintentionally

“You were staring” he teases

Before I could say anything my heart skips a beat again.

When he wordlessly pulls a strand away from my eyes when my hair gets tangled in the wind.

None of it feels forced.

But the moment that really hits me?

It’s a small thing. A game booth. One of those dumb ring toss games. I try three times — and miss every single one.

Jake jeers. “Y/N, do you have depth perception issues?”

“Watch and learn,” Heeseung says as he steps up.

He nails it on his second try.

The prize? A silly plush fox.

He turns and hands it to me without a word. Doesn’t even look at me.

I take it, trying not to blush. “I didn’t ask for this.”

He shrugs. “Didn’t say you did.”

But I don’t let go of it all day.

—

Later, the group settles in a food court, swapping stories and photos. Sunghoon and Sunoo scroll through pictures on Jake’s phone — most of them candid. I see one of Heeseung and me standing near the carousel. We're not touching. Not even close. But we’re looking at each other in a way I don’t remember doing.

“God,” Sunoo says with a dramatic sigh. “You guys are ridiculous. Just kiss already.”

“Not this again,” I groan.

Heeseung leans back in his seat, all casual confidence. “Maybe she should just ask.”

I blink. “Ask what?”

He shrugs. “Whatever’s been sitting on the tip of her tongue since that cabin night.”

My heart stutters. I hate how smug he sounds. I hate even more that he might not be wrong.

Jake raises a brow. “Wait, is this... flirting? Is Heeseung Lee actually being obvious for once?”

I nearly choke on my drink.

“I am not—he is not—ugh,” I stammer.

Heeseung just grins, eyes meeting mine across the table. There’s something in his expression — not teasing, not taunting. Just... open.

It shuts me up faster than anything else.

—

We leave the park in the golden hour, when everything glows a little too soft and a little too slow. I trail behind the group, lagging with Heeseung without meaning to.

“I forgot how fun this could be,” I say after a long pause.

He doesn’t answer right away, then quietly: “Yeah. Same.”

I glance up at him. The light hits his profile, and for a second, I see the boy I used to be best friends with. The one who used to sneak me his last grape candy because I liked it more. The one who used to race me home from school.

“Do you ever think maybe we...” I hesitate. “Misunderstood each other?”

His hand brushes mine. Just once. Barely.

“Sometimes,” he says. “But you were still insufferable.”

I scoff. “And you were still a smug little—”

“You liked it,” he cuts in, grinning.

Maybe I did.

Maybe I still do.

---

Back at the cabin that night, the pillow wall is still there. But smaller. Just two cushions now.

I lie in bed facing him, our shoulders almost touching.

“Heeseung?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. For today.”

He doesn't speak. Just shifts a little closer. I feel the edge of the bed dip beneath him.

Then his voice, soft and almost sleepy:

“I’d win you another one. The fox.”

I blink.

Maybe we’re not enemies anymore.

Maybe we never really were.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

[Part 2]

Comment to get added to the tag list🦋

taglist:

@chadiyuu @kittympirty @elairah @m3wkledreamy

[xxmoonch1ldxx]

I got tagged by my wonderful @lilac-hecox to post the first and last line of my last 10 fics and here they are!

1. Hypothetically Yes (Theoritically Forever)

“Mornin’,” Ian rasped with his eyes fluttering."

There truly was no better way to wake up in the morning.

2. (If You Want Me To Stay For The Rest Of My Life) You Got Me

Ian bit his lip as he watched Anthony tremble and squirm under him.

“Deal.”

3. You've Been Bitten By Something Hungrier Than you

Of all things in life, Ian didn't expect to cross paths with a hybrid creature with tentacles.

Anthony shot him one last smile before he started rolling his hips hard enough to make Ian see stars, all over again.

4. (There's Two Of Us, We're Certain With Desire ) The Pleasure's Pain And Fire, Burn Me Tonight

Anthony loved to be in control.

The only thing that Anthony knew was that the marks and stabbing pain in his back and chest were entirely worth it.

5. (You Take A Glance At Me) An Everlasting Dream

“Hey, Ian,” Anthony called from where he was sitting on the counter, munching on a carrot.

Luckily for him, Ian didn't need one, either.

6. (From The Day Of The Universe's Creation And Beyond) We're Eternally Together

"You know, dude, I think you're my soulmate."

Anthony could definitely work with that.

7. I'll Have You Up Seven Moons With Me (I'll Turn You To A Sleepwalker)

“H–Harder, fuck, Anthony,” Ian groaned as he dug his nails into Anthony's strong back.

There was nowhere else he'd rather be.

8. Whisper To Me (We Got The World Right At Our Feet)

“Nah, I could absolutely win a fight against a horse.”

Anthony kissed him again, the two kittens still purring happily in their arms.

9. (In Tune Undefined, In Sync Intertwined) In Love

It was more than a kiss.

It was really more than a kiss; it was everything both of them had ever dreamed of.

10. Baby, I'm Preying On You Tonight (Hunt You Down, Eat You Alive)

“Nhggg, hmmph, hmm!”

“You better remember who owns you, next time.”

[letteredlettered]

@yellowwallsbluesky asked about new Untamed end!

ahhhhh here is 27,745 words of wangxian that will never see the light of day. Thank you for asking!

I mentioned in my post about lwjwwx2 that I had a really hard time writing CQL fic partly because I just could not imagine WWX having any sex or even being particularly romantic. In CQL, he strikes me as very in love, but not in a romantic or sexual way. The problem was a little bigger than that, though, because I also could not imagine LWJ having sex. To be clear, I thought of LWJ as extremely romantic and sexual. But while LWJ's desire comes across as extremely intense, he's so hellbent on doing whatever WWX wants and whatever would make WWX comfortable, never pushing a single thing on WWX at all. In the second half of the show LWJ strikes me as extremely passive unless WWX needs him; he lets WWX get away with everything and expresses himself so little and so poorly that I just didn't see how these kids could get it together! That was 2020 - summer 2023. Then I was on the couch and thinking about them and could suddenly imagine it happening! So I started writing.

If this was a real fic I assume it would make some people extremely impatient. It takes place directly after CQL, and neither of them have any idea what they want from each other or what they can be to each other. I've seen plenty of people say it's unrealistic for them not to understand each other by then. But for me personally it makes sense that you could love someone with your whole heart and never once consider sex or romance, so to me CQL does not come across as romance but rather the prequel to one that is not necessary consummated (even with kisses) in the next scene after the end.

The premise is that after the end of CQL they go back to Cloud Recesses. LWJ knows that WWX arouses him and that he wants to be as close as humanly possible, but this doesn't really correlate in his mind to wanting to have sex and get married. He doesn't even think about sex. He just wants, all the time, a undefined longing that feels desperate and unstable to him. Meanwhile he's determined to do anything in his power to make WWX feel safe and comfortable and welcome.

It's not really a characterization of LWJ that makes sense to me now. I think I just needed to get it down to deal with idk, the way the censorship makes CQL so weird. I think the way I would read CQL!LWJ now is that he knows he wants WWX romantically and sexually but has difficulty communicating it with words and also does not want to impose, because people have asked so much of WWX and WWX is so willing to sacrifice himself for people he loves, and LWJ does not want WWX sacrificed. The reason this WIP is labelled "new" is that I went back and started changing the LWJ characterization so he was someone who knew what he was doing.

Meanwhile, the WWX is actually more knowing than I see him now. He comes back to Cloud Recesses with LWJ and feels restless and confused about his place there. He doesn't feel like he has a real role and even if LWJ really likes him, he doesn't understand what he could be here. But then LWJ just keeps giving and giving and giving, and WWX becomes very aware of what it looks like, from the outside. WWX has never been concerned about reputation for himself, but he is aware that reputation is a thing, and he cares about it for LWJ, so he notices. And when he notices that other people think they're a couple, he also realizes that it's what LWJ wants too. And WWX's reasoning is basically "well, why not? I'd give him anything; if he wants it, he can take it."

So he pushes and pushes on the boundary of friendship. It's obvious he's not doing it because he wants it because he thinks LWJ does. But it's also obvious he's not against it and that he doesn't know what he wants and that he would rather be something for LWJ than nothing at all. The idea was going to be that after they finally have sex, WWX grows addicted to the cuddling and intimacy that occurs afterwards and wants it all the time--because he doesn't really want it otherwise. He struggles to accept that kind of intimacy unless there's an act of service involved, because he doesn't really feel worth of it.

I actually think that this was the breakthrough for me. Once I realized that WWX would very much like to be held but doesn't really know how to let it happen unless there's a good reason for it, I finally felt like I could write him and write the whole wangxian dynamic. Of course, my WWX changed too; I am definitely more likely to write him now as not having a clue about what LWJ wants from him. That said, I read this fic, and I still buy that WWX could see that LWJ wants this from him and that his response is "sure, I'll do anything," even if he doesn't necessarily feel strong sexual attraction. That WWX gets off on service, which is still something I can buy.

Anyway I only got 25% of the way through shifting the LWJ characterization when I started writing Say More, and I realized I never really had a goal or end for this fic. It was just something I needed to write to get to know the characters--though I will say, I reread it to write this post, and I still really enjoy it!