#GOD i cant wait to live in a state that doesnt feel like 90+ for half a year
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If my body could stop throwing a fit after *checks notes* going on one (1) mild errand, playing a couple hours of Stardew Valley, knitting sweater sleeves, cleaning my room in short (& slow) bursts, drawing for two (2) hours, and lighting a few candles, all over the span of two days, that would be great thanks
#i have a migraine and ✨ life is a nightmare ✨#its a decently bad one too#if i still have it when i wake up ill have to reschedule my doctor's appointment#the new meds arent helping. apparently vyvanse can cause headaches but *those* feel different than my migraines#(and are in a different spot)#i was going to take it tomorrow so i could report to my pcp about my symptoms but i am Not going to risk triggering another migraine#i have shit to do tomorrow#i was?? sedentary?? most of the time the past couple days??? i get that knitting takes up brain energy but like. i was doing s l e e v e s#those arent exactly rocket science#urgh#ooh ouch yeah this is a rough one#wish me luck 🫡🙃🫠#reading the list of shit i did this weekend i'm like 'wow it was a lot' but. like. i think that's a chill weekend for most people#lmk if im wrong about that i dont have a good gauge b/c of the. you know *gestures vaguely*#jay rambles#none of the candles i lit tend to cause migraines either#im also short on sleep so that isnt helping things#also! the 'errand' was going to the craft store with a friend. not exactly High Pressure shit#i suspect we're nearing Cluster Season so this may also just be my life for the next several months#usually its at its worst over the summer but istg i got heat exhaustion walking back from therapy last saturday so.#its heading towards prime Ouch weather#GOD i cant wait to live in a state that doesnt feel like 90+ for half a year
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#i wonder how my fellow 2nd year japanese students can take on this semester AND have a life?#im told 24/7 i should be doing some sports and go out and have fun and meet up with family members or friends but im.#im at uni all day on tuesday and thursday and very tired on every other day#im feeling so drained by friday night and i cant even relax on the weekends how am i living#well mostly because of the cosplay skit were working on but i decided to do that so ill just do it now#its fun too#i exist in a constant state of stress and mental exhaustion and end up unable to do anything for half a day on sunday#feeling really bad about not doing anything then finally getting around to do something at like 6#and by then i have so much work left i dont even know how i would have time and energy for any of it lmfao#i feel bad about every minute i dont spend studying or working on a project and i hate it#god i cant wait for june when i can finally have a month or two off actually relaxing and not feeling shitty about it#and still i barely manage to pass my tests while i see people having nights out twice a week#idk it feels like theyre having them i dont really talk to anyone at uni#and theyre pulling off 90-100% tests and exams#107 HOW DO I LIVE A LIFE THAT DOESNT FEEL LIKE SHIT 10 MONTHS OUT OF 12
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ok hot take but also i feel like the "ao3 needs as much money as possible bc theyre the last stand for fanfic rights and at any moment everything can be lost just like it was a decade ago" feels so... similar to the fear propagated by the state to defend anti terrorism initiatives or over policing. which i am not saying that these are the same things (fandom is just fandom in the end lol) but the way that this side of fandom is majority white women and kinda falling for the same line of thought is just...?
bc it is similar to the "we are the last stand against freedom and at any moment your lives can be taken away" based off of past threats where this "last stand" doesnt even fucking do anything.
but the inability to question anything with ao3 is just soooo weird where its viewed as questioning the right for fandom to exist. people see ao3 as the only thing protecting fandoms ability to exist and that they are the single thing keeping creators at bay from purging all fandom when forreal and actually? that hasnt been a threat for the last decade. the culture around fanfiction has changed since then where creators are more eager to see fans engage with it and encourage it. the handful of ones who dont are treated as a minority and kinda actively shamed. you really cant do an anne rice nowadays and not get a shit ton of backlash, not just from fans, but other creators too. like dude... if youre pitching books to agents they actually encourage you to mention if youve written fic because it shows how you engage with an audience 😭
that doesnt mean fic is safe with no threat against it, but the lack of action taken against fic isnt because of ao3... its just bc the climate has changed and ppl who were fans in the 90s are creators today
but again its a culture of "you cant question ao3 about ANYTHING or youre jeopardizing fanfiction" which is definitely bc of the weird polarization of proship/anti stuff that impacts shit thats not even relevant dndjdkdjdn like? wanting the site to update its tagging system, add the ability to save filters, block users, have a better response to harassment, actively state that it does not condone racism and bigotry, get rid of the invite system, etc etc isnt anything that really has to do with ship shit but its taken as Anti Stances which is fucking wilddddd
god or the whole... real minors having nsfw rpf of them thing (🤢) it was kinda wild to see proshippers reactions to it because from what i could see by going thru the qrts and blocking freaks...... most of them also thought it was fucking weird and shouldnt be a thing. which makes sense that the line between anime porn vs "wait but thats a kid???" is clear to even terminally online folks, but then ao3 refused to change it so instead of pushing back they just let it go. so it becomes another thing you cant question or else its threatening ao3 and youre one of the enemies.
iont know man but remember when that girlie on twitter "published" an article about how antis are a cult in ao3s shitty lil "peer reviewed" journal and it was so so sooo bad and had zero sources? its just kinda funny how the inability to question authority, the us vs them, and the financial exploitation is like uhh a thing w proshippers lol????
anyways this is why i think white women are forming a whole fucking fandom qanon bc the amount of absolute batshit insane things ppl say claiming that there are discords full of children being groomed by antis, that proshippers are dying in mass, and that their creative freedom will be taken away if you say "its bad to be racist" so they donate hundreds and thousands of dollars to an organization that straight up doesnt need it? LIKE................ someone call susans loved ones and help her out of this 😭
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personal
hate how im losing speech daily, hate how my brain is constantly short circuiting once im home from work to the extent that i cant even talk to my partner at all, hate how ive been in an extended mental breakdown for months now, hate that my living situation excaberates all of my worst symptoms of all my neurodivergencies, hate hate hate that instead of getting better everything just gets worse
i go weeks on end without any form of stress relief while everything gets exponentially worse, my brain is so fried i cant even watch tv anymore because the level of under stimulation physically hurts, and i no longer have the mental strength to maintain my focus on anything. if theres a show on or a sudden sound or sudden movement, my brain blue screens and im unable to do anything else
im solely responsible financially for three cats i didnt ask for (even if i love them to pieces) and because of that none of them have been to the vet or gotten fixed, which means the two females have to be seperated from our male, which means they sleep in mine and my partners room. and one of them wakes me up every two hours on the dot trying to tip over my partners 50 inch flatscreen he got as a gift from a now disowned relative that we cant afford to replace. i havent slept longer than 3 hours at a time for months plural
my body is breaking down on me at a pace i cant recover from with constant shooting leg pains and constant arm and shoulder pain that makes it difficult for me to move. on top of that 3 weeks ago i went for an emergency dentist visit for tooth pain and i have to somehow schedule and pay for two removals, two subsequent bone grafts and implants, and four crowns. and im trying to schedule more xrays but the office never calls me back even when they say they will so i end up waiting weeks to have enough free time to actually call them because of my work schedule
im constantly hysterical, im constantly exhausted, im constantly in pain, im constantly sleep deprived, and my workload increases exponentially. my partners mother expects the two of us to end a summer infestation without using bug spray or calling in exterminators. she expects us to tear the whole house apart cleaning with broken worn down bodies and then keep going to work for 8 hour shifts in jobs without air conditioning in 90 degree weather surrounded by asphalt, where we are constantly on our feet, where her job is mostly deskwork in an air conditioned office with occasional bouts of admittedly back breaking cleaning.
im no longer capable of relieving my own stress by any coping method i have available. it feels like my brain is rotting in my skull. i cant focus on anything. the amount of effort its taking to write this post is insane. everything is tv static and misery and im so suicidal im genuinely alarmed. im so miserable and so relief deprived that i cant bring myself to find any reason to continue existing in this torture. i cant even get any relief from my partner anymore.
any attempt at stress relief that i dont have to manage or be responsible for is sabotaged by my hysteria and anxiety, further denying me any chance to recover emotionally and worsening my emotional state.
im breaking down daily. im losing my ability to formulate sentences and coherent thoughts daily. im losing my ability to leave the bed daily. im only able to eat one meal a day. i havent been able to shower for months because my body is so run down that i cant go through the sensory load of standing in my narrow cramped tub while scratchy clingy shower curtains stick to me, just to force myself to scrub my body and wash my hair, only for the experience of washing my hair to be so nightmarishly bad it causes another breakdown and i go into overload. ive had to rely on wet washcloths, wet wipes, dry shampoo and deodorant for so long im scared itll make me sick, but im physically incapable of standing in a shower and going through that, even if someone else does it for me. the sensations inherent to showering are so god awful that i cant power through it. im scared its gonna make me sick and my only saving grace is that its difficult for my body to sweat in high heat, and while it makes me more prone to heat stroke, it keeps me from getting too dirty and gross
my parthers mother agreed to foster sugar gliders, who are very sensitive to cold temperatures, and so the whole apartment is forbidden from using the ac. in aforementioned asphalt surrounded 90 degree weather. our window doesnt have a screen, so because we keep the two cats in our room we cant open the window. we cant keep our door open because the cats have to be seperated. our room is consistently the hottest room in the house, with differences in temp being 10+ degrees between our room and the living room directly outside it
i cant talk to anyone. i dont have the energy to form sentences or maintain a conversation. im a ghost in every group chat im in. i cant string words together enough to even indulge my special interests or hyperfixations. i cant focus on them enough to enjoy them. i cant focus on my games or my own thoughts. i cant string my thoughts together enough to participate in any of my creative outlets. all my energy is devoted towards work and then to cleaning, and i am a hollow scraped out shell of a person for it. the one thing in this world that has deep comforting spiritual and philisophical importance to me, food and the making and sharing of it, has been reduced to barely registering to my body. it tastes like ash and dust to me now and i dont even want to eat it anymore.
ive lost everything that keeps me going while my living situation tries its damnedest to wring every last drop of energy out of me
my life is a living hell and i just want it to stop
#tw for a lot of mental illness stuff#lots of potentially triggering stuff in here#im so brain fried rn i cant figure out how to tag things properly#im sorry
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200 Things About Me
200: My crush’s name is: John. (Fischer) @fxscher
199: I was born in: 1999
198: I am really: fucking fun
197: My cellphone company is: Verizon
196: My eye color is: Brown
195: My shoe size is: depends on brand. Nike: 15 Adidas: 14
194: My ring size is: idfk lol
193: My height is: 6’ 2’’
192: I am allergic to: poison ivy
191: My 1st car was: 2001 toyota camery
190: My 1st job was: Dishwasher at a Buffett Restaurant
189: Last book you read: The Soloist
188: My bed is: comfortable
187: My pet: my dog, Harlee
186: My best friend: @fxscher also my boyfriend
185: My favorite shampoo is: well my mom does hair so idk
184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox all the way
183: Piggy banks are: overrated
182: In my pockets: are black holes
181: On my calendar: blank months
180: Marriage is: a huge goal of mine and im so excited for it
179: Spongebob can: run me over in his boat and i would thank him
178: My mom: is the best in the world even tho we have many disagreements. Love her
177: The last three songs I bought were? None bitch tf i have spotify premium
176: Last YouTube video watched: uhm for sure the music video for camp rock “we cant back down”
175: How many cousins do you have? Bitch i don’t know, a lot
174: Do you have any siblings? Twin brother. Little brother. Little sister.
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope
172: Are you taller than your mom? For sure
171: Do you play an instrument? Do i look like a band/orchestra kid lmaoo
170: What did you do yesterday? I don’t even remember what I did 20 min ago stop
[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: of course
168: Luck: yes
167: Fate: yes
166: Yourself: uh yes bitch
165: Aliens: universe is too small to not believe
164: Heaven: YES
163: Hell: Eh
162: God: OF COURSE
161: Horoscopes: yes
160: Soul mates: yes
159: Ghosts: yes
158: Gay Marriage: im gay so yes hoe
157: War: uh yeah
156: Orbs: yes
155: Magic: yes duh
[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: both bitch
153: Drunk or High: why not BOTH
152: Phone or Online: online
151: Red heads or Black haired: neither lmao
150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes but im gay so
149: Hot or cold: bitch. Hot for sure but christmas isnt christmas without cold weather
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: here in ohio we call it “fall”
146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
145: Night or Day: both
144: Oranges or Apples: apples
143: Curly or Straight hair: dont care
142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdicks bitch
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: is that racist😉 jk but forsure white chocolate
140: Mac or PC: MAC
139: Flip flops or high heals: neither lmao
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: how and RICH AND SWEET fuck the sterotype
137: Coke or Pepsi: COKE-aine
136: Hillary or Obama: obama lol
135: Burried or cremated: uhm idk idrc i lowkey wanna be cremated and thrown in the ground with some tree seeds
134: Singing or Dancing: both
133: Coach or Chanel: chanel
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they
131: Small town or Big city: big city
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither
128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk
127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast for sure
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: dont care enough
125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers i dont need to be happy AND fat
124: Disney or Six Flags: havent been to either
123: Yankees or Red Sox: this is tumblr we dont care about sports on here
[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: i dont care #MakeAmericaGreatAgain
121: George Bush: fuck u
120: Gay Marriage: yes bitch we do what we want
119: The presidential election: i love donald trump
118: Abortion: under certain circumstances should it be okay. If you’re doing it bc you fucked up, that child doesnt deserve to not have a life because of your poor choices sorry
117: MySpace: dumb
116: Reality TV: love it
115: Parents: love them but back tf off
114: Back stabbers: i’ll fucking ruin your life
113: Ebay: what
112: Facebook: hi
111: Work: love my job so much
110: My Neighbors: ok this bitch who lives next to us is psycho and wants to literally BE my mom i feel like im in an LMN movie sometimes
109: Gas Prices: fucking really dude like go back to the way they were before the hurricanes
108: Designer Clothes: LOVE LOVE LOVE
107: College: I love it so much can’g wait to graduate
106: Sports: dumb
105: My family: love them
104: The future: ony God knows, he has a plan for me
[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: idfk
102: Last time you ate: like 2 hrs ago
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today
100: Cried in front of someone: months
99: Went to a movie theater: months
98: Took a vacation: June
97: Swam in a pool: August
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: never
94: Went to a wedding: years ago
93: Broke a bone: never
92: Got a peircing: never
91: Broke the law: idk today i guess when i went 60 in a 35
90: Texted: hour ago
[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: my dog bruh and my boyfriend and sometimes cece😉
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog and my mom
87: The last movie I saw: Norma Rae
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: a future with my boyfriend
85: The thing im not looking forward to: being poor when im out of college
84: People call me: gay
83: The most difficult thing to do is: ignore the negativity
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: taurus
80: The first person i talked to today was: john
79: First time you had a crush: bitch i used to be heartless
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: john or gabby
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: lost brain cells thinking about this
76: Right now I am talking to: no one
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: own my own coffee franchise or ya know get rocognized for something dumb and get famous
74: I have/will get a job: yes i work at subway
73: Tomorrow: i work
72: Today: i worked
71: Next Summer: im gonna work
70: Next Weekend: im gonna work
69: I have these pets: dog
68: The worst sound in the world: dfc
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: not one person has made me cry in 5 years
66: People that make you happy: my boy
65: Last time I cried: like 5 min ago bc tears of happiness thru music
64: My friends are: the best i’ll ever have
63: My computer is: if only i had one
62: My School: Mount St. Joseph University
61: My Car: needs a little work
60: I lose all respect for people who: are rude af
59: The movie I cried at was: too many
58: Your hair color is: brown
57: TV shows you watch: usually pretty little liars
56: Favorite web site: 😉
55: Your dream vacation: sicily, italy
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i wanted to kill myself for like 5 years
53: How do you like your steak cooked: idk
52: My room is: simple, classy n cozy
51: My favorite celebrity is: like really idk
50: Where would you like to be: sleeping
49: Do you want children: maybe
48: Ever been in love: yes
47: Who’s your best friend: my bf and gabby and cece
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: eating healthy and drinking coffee
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my boy
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: ya
41: Have you pre-named your children: ya
40: Last person I got mad at: the person who accused my bf of sexual assault
39: I would like to move to: a beach
38: I wish I was a professional: in BUSINESS
[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: ew
36: Vehicle: blacked out range rover
35: President: Donald Trump
34: State visited: Florida
33: Cellphone provider: verizon
32: Athlete:dc
31: Actor: dc
30: Actress: dc
29: Singer: Cardi B, Post Malone, Halsey, Migos god damn so many
28: Band: dc
27: Clothing store: anything name brand
26: Grocery store: kroger hoe
25: TV show: pretty little liars
24: Movie: the hunger games movies
23: Website: hmm
22: Animal: idk
21: Theme park: kings island
20: Holiday: halloween/xmas
19: Sport to watch: nope
18: Sport to play: volleyball
17: Magazine: idk
16: Book: Looking for Alaska
15: Day of the week: saturday
14: Beach: yes yes yes yes, santa rosa
13: Concert attended: lana del ey
12: Thing to cook: anything
11: Food: i love all food fwm
10: Restaurant: skyline
9: Radio station: idk
8: Yankee candle scent: anything seasonal
7: Perfume: idk
6: Flower: idk
5: Color: blue
4: Talk show host: i dont know do i look 50
3: Comedian: idk
2: Dog breed: german shepard
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes bitch
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old myspace surveyyy
1. Last beverage: Iced tea
2. Last phone call: My mom i believe
3. Last song you listened to: Closer- the chainsmokers ft halsey
4. Last time you cried: today
5. Have you dated someone twice: kind of. my current boyfriend and i dated before but it was only like 2 weeks and then we didnt date again til 5 months later, and now were still together which has been 15 months. i dont really consider he first time an actual relationship lmao
6. Have you ever been cheated on: Not that I am aware of.
7. Kissed someone & regretted it: eh, my first kiss was awful
8. Have you lost someone special: yeah my dad died.
9. What are your three favorite colors: lilac, cyan, pink
10. Met someone who changed you in the past month: not in the past month
11. Kissed anyone on your friends list: yeah
12. How many kids do you want: none.
13. Do you want any pets: i have two cats
14. Do you want to change your name: yeah i do
15. What did you do for your last birthday: Had dinner with my boyfriends parents, then had a small party with a few friends and my boyfriend, but that was it. Wasnt so lit.
16. What time did you wake up today: i woke up at 10 am i think
17. Name something you CANNOT wait for: to finally move out
18. Last time you saw your mother: um. like 10 minutes ago lol
19. Most visited webpage: youtube
20. Nicknames: Jen, Babygirl, i dont really have nicknames that much
21. Relationship status: Taken
22. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius
23. Male or female: female
24. Height: 5′1
25. Do you have a crush on someone: my boyfriend
26. Piercings: I got my ears pierced when i was 18 but i took it out apparently too soon and they shut. I am going to get them redone but im just lazy
27. Tattoos: none as of now
28. Strong or Weak: physically or emotionally..haha..
FIRSTS
29. First surgery: wisdom teeth
30. First best friend: Eric or Reis
31. First sport you joined: softball when i was 7/8
32. First vacation: British columbia when i was 4/5
33. First school: Joseph welsh
34. First pair of trainers: If trainers you mean shoes but in a british lingo..uhh i dont know. DC shoes? those ugly fat skater shoes.
WHICH IS BETTER
35. Lips or eyes: eyes
36. Hugs or kisses: honestly both, but idk it depends. sometimes i love hugs because i like feeling him hold me and against me , but kisses are so sweet
37. Shorter or taller: taller
38. Older or younger: older
39. Romantic or spontaneous: both
40. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.
41. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.
42. Shy or outgoing: a bit of both. im really outgoing so in a relationship it doesnt matter for me. but i dont really like people who cant make conversations at all..
HAVE YOU EVER
43. Kissed a stranger: I dont think so.
44. Gotten a speeding ticket: No
45. Lost glasses/contacts: i dont wear glasses or contacts
46. Sex on first date: nope. but oral sex yeah.
47. Broken someone’s heart: i have but whatever.
48. Been arrested: No
49. Have you turned someone down: yeah but thats cause this dude wouldnt stop trying to date me and the funny part is he didnt even live in the same fucking city as me so idk why he kept trying so hard. I also had a dude back in highschool who i still chat with try to date me but ive turned him down couple of times but he knows now.
50. Fallen for a friend: not really.
51. Moved out of town: no
BELIEVE IN
52. Miracles: ehhh
53. Love at first sight: no. but i mean i know when i first met my boyfriend i was like oh hell yeah. but its not love.
54. Heaven: yeah
55. Santa Claus: no and never have.
56. Kiss on the first date: sure. ive done it. idk how you cant believe in a kiss?? lmao
57. Angels: yeah
58. Yourself: no
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no.
60. Been in love with someone you couldn’t be with?: yeah but not “in love”.
61. Ever cheated on somebody: No i am not a cunt.
62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: i would love to relive my first date with Connor, i dont know why. i wouldnt change anything but that day was really awesome.
63. Are you afraid of falling in love: No.
64. Was your last relationship a mistake? well i guess, since i am in a different one right? it wasnt a mistake per-say but he was a waste of time.
65. Do you miss your last relationship? god no.
66. Who did you last say “i love you” to?
connor, the other day <3
67. Have you ever been depressed? yeah i have depression.
68. Are you insecure? yeah but im getting better.
69. How do you want to die? in my bed, while asleep.
70. Do you bite your nails? lol i am currently.
71. When was your last physical fight? Ive never really had one.
72. Do you have an attitude? yeah. i can have one.
73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti? twirl if i ever eat it. i hate spaghetti. Connor loves it though..
74. Do you tan a lot? eh no
75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving? yeah usually while on a trip
76. Ever made out in a bathroom? yeah.
77. Would you take any of your exes back? Not at all! Barf.
78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? depends on the time.
79. What are your plans for this weekend? it is the weekend currently, nothing is planned.
80. Do you type fast? yeah
81. Can you spell well? i think i do.
82: What are you craving right now? nothing actually.
83. Have you ever been on a horse? yeah a few times.
84. Would you live with someone without marrying them? yeah my boyfriend lmao
85. What’s irritating you right now? my dry skin atm.
86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? yeah.
87. Does somebody love you? yeah my man does. lmao
88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car? a few times
89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate? milk. white chocolate is nasty
90. Do you have trust issues? i kind of do.
91. Longest relationship? my one i am in currently which so far is a one year and 3 months
92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? i am sure he thinks about me every so often, i mean i sometimes think about them for no reason and not the “i miss you” thinking just like something reminds me of them or whatver. Im sure they think of me sometime. i dont really care lol
93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs? yah lol
94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? no
95. Did you have dream last night? yeah i dont remember it anymore
96. Have you ever been out of state? yeah
97. Do you play the Wii? eh not anymore. i dont like the wii or the wii u, i tried to like the nintendo products but i am more into Playstation ;)
98. Do you like Chinese food? i do
99. Are you afraid of the dark? sometimes
100. Is cheating ever okay? No.
101. What year has been your best? 2015 so far and 2016 wasnt really so bad.
102. Do you believe in true love? yeah i guess
103. Favorite weather? fall weather. where its warm but kind of cloudy, where you can wear whatever you want and you wont be too cold or too warm.
104. Do you like the snow? NO
105. Do you like the outside? yeah i do.
106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? yeah i like when connor does
107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? yes
108. What makes you happy? cats
109. Ever been to Alaska? no
110. Ever been to Hawaii? no
111. Do you watch the news? usually like to keep an eye on whats happening with the world. like now.
112. Do you love MTV? no
113. Do you like subway? yeah but its not my fav anymore. but i do crave it randomly
114 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? no lol were dating.
115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? well my best friend of the opposite sex is my boyfriend..so...
116. Why did you decide to do this quiz? im bored
117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them? yeah actually one time my mom and i were shopping and we saw this crazy lady that we know. and so we kept avoiding here while we were grocery shopping and we actually got away lol thank god. she is so annoying. When my dad died she told my mom she had to get rid of his pictures. like mcfuck off.
118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yeah a few
119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? connor
120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Jennifer
121. Ever bought condoms? no. we dont use condoms
122. Ever gotten pregnant? No. thank god
123. Have you ever slipped on ice? im sure
124 Have you ever missed the bus? yeah
125. Have you left the house without money? i have once. i was working too and on my break i was heading to get food and then i realized i forgot my wallet. -___-
126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? no. just weed.
127. Have you ever smoked a cigar? no
128. Did you ever drink alcohol? yeah of course.
129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”? yes. one of my favs
130. Have you ever been overweight? last year i went on medication that made me gain 20 pounds, but i lost all that weight now thank god. I wasnt over weight but i was kind of chubby. Im back to my skinny-self thank god!
131. Ever been to a wedding? yeah
132. Ever been in a wedding? yeah my cousin got married in 2013 and asked my sister and i to be apart of it. worst idea ever. We werent really apart of it. she had her friends in it and my sister and i were just kind of the side bridemaids..yah weird.
133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight? yeah back when i didnt have an ipad or iphone.
134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight? i sometimes binge netflix when im with my boyfriend
135. Ever kissed in the rain? no
136. Did you ever shower with someone else? yeah i have with my boyfriend. it was really intimate lol
137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test? i have only ever failed the written exam where they ask you all that stupid shit and you have to remember speed and signs. but my actualy drivig test, i passed first try!
138. Ever been outside your home country? yeah to canada
139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours? yeah we used to drive to vancouver or south BC which would take 13 hours.
140. Ever been to a professional sports game? NO
141. Have you ever broken a bone? no surprisingly i havent. even though i got hit by a car..
142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life? no :(
143. Ever get engaged? no
144. Have you ever been on a diet? kind of.
145. Have you ever been on TV? kind of. not really.
146. Ever ridden in a taxi? yeah. with my boyfriend, its really awkward and weird...
147. Ever been to prom? we dont have prom here in canada but we do get dressed up in nice dresses and have dinner and a dance, but not prom. But yeah i did go.
148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more? yeah i think 2 days
149 Have you ever been to a concert? yeah. my first was...Jonas brothers...BARFFF. thanks 12 year old me -.-
150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work? i did have a little crush on the security guard. but not a big crush.
151. Have you ever been in a car accident? i got hit by a car
152. Ever had braces? yeah from 12-14. (gr.6-8)
153. Did you ever learn another language? i tried french. but i cant speak it. i gave up. I wish i could learn something different.
154. Do you wear make-up? yeah.
155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out? yeah when i was 18 i got put completely out and had surgery to get them out.
156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself? yeah.
157. Ever dyed your hair? yeah ive dyed it reddish, darker brown, fire ombre (look it up it was awesome), blonde, ash blonde, blonde with purple tips and then now i just dyed it back to brown which is its natural colour. i like it blonde but im starting to like it back at its natural state.
158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes? yeah ive worn my sisters clothes
159. Ever ridden in an ambulance? no
160. Ever ridden in a helicopter? no
161. Ever caught the stove on fire? no
162. Ever meet someone famous? no
163. Ever been on an airplane? yeah i was only on a plane from here (canada) to california and back. but thats it. my first time it was really nerve-racking, but on the way back it was chill. i dont like being that high up lol
164. Ever been on a boat? yeah a few times. its kay
165. Ever broken something expensive? no
166. Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14? no. my first actual kiss wasnt til i was 18..lol
167. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground? yeah my fucking life.
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Every Single Rupauls Drag Race Queen Ranked from 1 to 100 by David Mason You will notice as thece list goes it runs from HARSH to KIND being that we go from people who are wasting our time and perhaps not living an honest fantasy but trying to be something they FEEL they're SUPPOSED to be and talented artists who capture us as they reveal beautifully honest selves which bloom from their unconscious. The Top 25 are ICONIC GOLD and are identities who hold their own amongst all the queens. They are APEX PREDATORS and each could arguably be made number one depending on each persons values. This is MY list and therefore it reflects my values and needs. 100. Phi Phi O’Hara Shes actually the worst for being a horrible person who cant figure out why shes terrible and thats the worst part. I actually BOOED her in public when I saw her. Is it wrong to not like someone just because they were born??? I think it probably is BUT I dont like Phi-Phi because when they showed her mom her mom was like 26 and I just thought YUCK, unplanned pregnancy is just TACKY and I wouldnt have to deal with you if your mom just had the balls to own her own body and be responsible and kind to the Earth and abort you but apparently the apple doesnt fall far from the (say this in Goldie Hawn from Overboard voice) “short, fat, slut" and you come from a long line of short selfish inconsiderate people. Phi-phi is the best case as to why Planned Parenthood should be next to every McDonalds. 99. Kenya Michaels : Oh god Im disturbed by her. She was like that little doll from Trilogy of terror. I found her strong sexual identity so uncomfortable as it was just too obviously a defense mechanism from being a tiny rapeable person from a third world territory. Thats AWFUL to say but Im sorry its just what I saw. I didnt find it funny or sexy. I found it awful and cringy. Its NOT a reason to not like a person but it is a reason as to why I dont want to see her on my tv bending over and WAGGING HER TWAT at me. I dont want to celebrate her complex attempt at molestation management, Im sorry. Lets hope this is me just projecting. I know this is too much for the SECOND entry but Im just saying what I felt. I wish shed read a book instead of just GOING WITH THE SEX THING. 98. Kandy Ho: What gross name, what a skank not even a good skank like Samantha Fox, just a shitty skank. 97. Phoenix: Who? I really have to speed through this list I have to go to the gym. 96. Madame LaQueer: Id put her at 99 but I feel bad for her. Im a nice person. 95. Alisa Summers: i have no idea who this person is 94. Penny Tration: Oh fuck you for that stupid name. Get the fuck outta here. 93.Vivienne Pinay: Why did she think she was pretty or passable or fishy or WHAT? All I saw was “Hi, Can I get the lunch special? I’ll have tai Iced tea with Rad Prik Chicken and coconut soup. Thank you.” 92. Venus D-Lite: Venus is who I think of when I think of queens that dont matter. I didnt even say that to be mean. She just is. 91. Jaidynn Diore Fierce: ??? oh she was the one I think should be named PEANUT. 90. Naysha Lopez: What plane of consciousness thought this person needed to be seen? 89. Sasha Belle: Awkward entry! Rip off Mugler Chimera dress. HERES A TIP PEOPLE, dont try and copy the most amazing well made dress in the world that cost 300k to make and 900 years of 900 year old Parisian couturiers to make. I PROMISE YOUR VERSION WONT BE AS GOOD. If youre going to copy something also make sure said reference has a TEENSY bit of wiggly room for either styling OR improvement. The Mugler Chimeira dress does NOT. Stop looking at it, you cant have it. 88. Akashia: Maybe the first person to fall on the runway??? I dont know? I dont remember her exactly 87. Rebecca Glasscock: I went shopping with Ru once at Saks and a sales girl came up and said “Rebecca works here now!” Ru went from Cafe au lait to FISHBELLY faster than she could mutter... “Rebecca is here?…....now?” thank god the girl was like “Not today”… Cocoa pallor regenerated, shopping recommenced. Rebecca must have been INSANE. 86. Honey Mahogany: Who and Why and whatever…. 85. Derrick Barry: Nope. 84. Robbie Turner: I wish you were Tina Turner 83.Cynthia Lee Fontaine:The cowboy look was like a THANKSGIVING revelation that GRANPA IS A CROSS DRESSER?!?! 82. Darienne Lake: Dip into the cool water of Darienne Lake was the best thing about her and that was Rus doing so.. BYE and shes from like Rochester or some shit. YUCK mid/western New York is SKANK. 81. Ginger Minj: Just everything I don't appreciate. 80. BeBe Zahara Benet: She won season one and I think the prize was 10k and it shoulda gone to Nina. 79. Bob the Drag Queen: After the extraordinarily beautiful Violet won. The audience of sheep were put off by their inability to relate to her because they just arent as good as her so the next season they wrote the season about having a “peoples princess” win and that why we have SHITTY BOB the person who shouldnt have ever been invited. Whats WORSE and MORE ANNOYING is the LATENT worship of Violet after they realized JUST HOW GOOD SHE WAS ONCE THEY SAW BOB and Im sitting here with my fists clenched screaming YOU IDIOTS THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT?!?!?! Bobs season was the worst. 78. Delta Work: Shes the drag queens drag queen. Shes too bitter for tv though. Same reason as to why Jackie Beat isnt on tv, too sour for tv, but thats ok. There is certainly somethig to have the cache of being the type of queen you have to go out to see. When she botched the comedy challenge I felt for her. I could really relate. She has the comic ability and you could just hear the inner dialogue of self sabotage running in her mind. It sucked. Thats one of my challenges too. 77. Thorgy Thor: Funny smart queen that I like. Tv isnt a format that suits her. 76. Sahara Davenport : A sweet soul. 75. Yara Sofia: Ick… The best example of LEARN TO EDIT. Her styling is THE GOOP SHOW. You know how some people just have BAD VIBES? I just dont want her around me. I dont see her vibes swirling in a direction I wanna head towards. I kinda hate dreads, Id lie and not say it to sound cool but there just unsavory to me. Patchouli.. thats what I smell when I see them in my minds eye.They just make me ask.. Why do you deliberately choose to be kinda not so clean? Its some romantic notion I don't prescribe too. Im not earthy in that way. Im Earthy in a watermelons are fierce kinda way. 74. Kelly Mantle: This person is not Christine Baranski! Why are you telling me youre related to a baseball player like Im supposed to care? 73. Magnolia Crawford: ahahahahahahahahahah... that poor homosexual. He MIGHT be more disliked than phi-phi. THAT NOSE gets points.. it HAD to be a critique on nose contour right?! Does anyone ACTUALLY know her?! I feel like this might be some weird dare that a straight guy did and made it on the show. It was all so WEIRD?! 72. Jade. I really dont remember a damn thing but kinda thought she was a nice person maybe??? errr ummmm I just shrugged my shoulders to myself. 71. Lanaysha Sparks: She was quite lovely and even surprisingly talented on the craft contest but not knowing who Diana Ross is and your a drag queen is SATANISM. Poor bitch is from Puerto Rico, do you now Puerto Rico is twice as poor as the poorest state? That sucks. 70.Laila McQueen: Is this an OSBORNE CHILD?? Had she been on previous seasons she would have faired better. Seemed like a kid Id hire as an intern and could trust. 69. Serena ChaCha Oh my god Serena snook right by me?!?! AHAHAHAHAH Serena! Worst look of ALL TIME. how was SHE an art school student?! I cringed when she said that as Im an art school kiid and was like NO NO NOPE TAKE IT BACK CLOSE YOUR MOUTH! Serena was the victim of QUEEN ON QUEEN GANG BULLYING and what was worse is AMERICA BACKED THE GANG RAPE. It was like that scene in The Dark Crystal when the Skeksi looses the sword challenge and they all tear the clothes of him and banish him! Alyssa WENT IN on her….Coco even got a piece of Serena that day! Serena is lucky to be alive. 68. Jasmine Masters: Im disturbed by my own ability to impersonate Jasmine Masters. Its not THAT GOOD but its better than a 225lb Pollock should be able to do. Her Slinky worm routine makes me GIGGLE. She is ANGRY…...BLACK RAGE which I kinda appreciate in a way. I get it. I have gay rage so why cant she have BLACK RAGE?! 67. Tempest DuJour awww tempest.. We all like Tempest. Kinda funny shes a costume design teacher though no? She gave my husband a shirt and my husband wore it for her all day in Provincetown because my husband is like the sweetest person ever. I mean people were like “TEMPEST DU JOUR?!” they practically SPIT on him and he still wore it and he tagged her in the photo and she didnt even regram lolololol My poor husband, I love him so much. 66. The Princess: I made a comment about the Princess' look being shitty on Instagram once and all her fans went APESHIT. It was the two nastiest messages I ever deleted. 65. Monica Beverly Hillz I shoulda put her farther back. She was not so great. 64. Vivacious: Awwww the old battle axe of drag. I support her endaevor but her looks were so dated. I do however respect her respect for the art so… 63. Lashauwn Beyond: That name is so real. You can say she sucks but you can also say shes the spirit of drag taking you “up" so let her be. 62. Mrs. Kasha Davis: WOAH boy did she sneak by me?! She must have got here EARLY and just WAITED. She sucked so hard you kinda loved her for being honest. Kasha was like your olde gay neighbor whos taste level sucks but you respect her because she went through the AIDS crisis and is still smiling. Not even kidding. 61. BenDeLaCreme: I just did not like her. 60. Pandora Boxx: Oh god Pandora. Did you see that Unicorn video she made… bless this bitch. 59. Shangela Laquifa Wadley: Shangela was just cheap. Shangela is like the same taste level as like Paula Abdul, Mad Tv, Khols, a Sketchers Sneaker… I just never like what she does. I dont need it. Its poor person humor. Just because you say something LOUDLY doesnt make it more funny. ( as I type in CAPS) 58. Roxxxy Andrews: This poor bitch dug a damn hole… You know shes not likeable because she was shadey but she was more talented then anticipated in the creative challeges, and I thought she had nice skin. My husband HATES HER. 57. Kim Chi: One note. Refrigerator being pushed down a runway. I actually dont like her for not having the courage to be out to her parents. Its insulting to the rest of us. Buck up bitch, your mom already knows, shes known since you were 2. The fact you think she doesnt know is INSANE. Your non outness renders any talent moot. 56. Adore Delano: Thanks but Ive been to Hot Topic, NEXT. 55: Acid Betty: I don't remember much about the 00S BUT I STILL REMEMBER THOSE WIGS. 54. Courtney Act: Ok sure, but wheres the interesting part???? Her finale dress that was like rainbow hologram acetate was cool and nobody even mentioned it. 53. Trixie Mattel: I tried so hard to be nice to her in Provincetown and she was a cunt. Why are you a cunt to someone being NICE to you? 52. Coco Montrese : I could say mean shit but I wont. shes worked long and hard and deserves a clap. Shes not even a cunt. shes out of touch but shes from another world. Respect your elders. 51. Dida Ritz: Talk about out of touch. Her weird self loathing “Im a white girl” routine turned me into Jasmine Masters?! Like EWWW NO, learn to love yourself BITCH. We all know she did one of the best lip synchs ever. 50. Stacy Layne Matthews: Wait shes NOT black?!??? She was from BACK SWAMP, that gets TREMENDOUS "SWAMP CRED" She was so fat her hormones were just like "WHATEVER.. theres simply "NOT ENOUGH of us to go around?! WE DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO.. What do you wanna be today??? When was the last time youve seen your genitals because are you SURE youre still a male?? We dont know and could use some DIRECTION?!” and I appreciate that. I like people who are just like IM WHATEVER. Not everyone has to be a male or a female you know. 49. Jade Jolie: Jade is surprisingly the fishiest queen in my opinion. I saw her at the premiere party before her season started and we honestly thought she might be BIOLOGICAL. This holds some cache in an art of trying to be a woman at least SOMEWHAT. She made the unfortunate mistake of becoming Alyssas ENEMY which at the time was ACTUALLY kinda necessary because if you remember when Alyssa first started she was not the Alyssa we know and love and was kinda of a cunt who needed to get CLOCKED. BACK ROLLS has now been mutters a million times by ME ALONE and lets be honest WERE ALL now VERY CONSCIOUS of our back rolls now. I even got COOL SCULPTING and yes it worked. It works if youre like semi normal with a slight love handle or backroll but not if you have a spare tire because then its just like removing a brick from a wall, and no it didnt hurt, but get it done in Florida because procedures are cheaper there. Florida is basically LAWLESS, they also gave me a VITAMIN DRIP as I did it. That is not legal in NYC. Jade had horrible style and made what looked like NAZI MATRIX PORN but dont imagine that in a good sorta Night Porter chic Nazi way. Imagine it as a black vinyl raincoat that that greasy haired kid in high school who wasnt allowed to be a faggot because you already had that role and did it better so he sorta segued into FETISH GOTH would have and now imagine him filming himself masturbating with a NON APPLE iPhone to a Marilyn Mason poster… That was her porn. 48. Sonique: Sonique is responsible for one of the wisest self realizations to ever surface on RPDR to me. After getting the chop she said something along the lines of “Well I guess theres more to life than being better than everyone.” YUP. Stop competing, life isnt a competition. You do you and thats your challenge, forget about everyone elses storyline. 47. Mystique Summers Madison: DANGEROUS PERSON but such good TV. To me it seems Mystique has the kind of tongue that can only tell lies, which is sad because that means she thinks whatever the truth is is so terrible she has to come up with an alternative. Thats unfortunate. That said I dont want her in my home. If she lies to herself and others this means she feels she doesnt have to play by the rules and probably steals. Did I just imagine her a thief? Yes, I did. I imagined her at a party at my house slipping one of my Versace candy dishes in her pocket WITH THE SOUR PATCH KIDS STILL IN IT. 46. Gia Gunn: Gia to me really is the sorta line between the queens you care about and the queens you take the opportunity to go get a drink while they come on stage. I took my two assistants on that Drag Cruise as a present and I cant remember what exactly happened but somebodies sneakers were TEMPORARILY ABDUCTED and Gia was UNNFUCKED and SURLY ABOUT IT. Gia on the show was half gross and half awesome. I feel shed LIKE to be nice but has so much DEFENSIVE ANGER she can't. Its a mistake as shed be much more successful if she got over that. She really feels herself despite having a wonky eye, really short legs, and likening herself to Talapia and aligning herself to TIM GUNN??? Your fashion references are from TV????!… OH GURL… NO!.… I like her though. Shes a talented performer. I feel like Gia is that friend you have thats sorta like a bad dog on leash. You have to be careful with them when around kind people but theyre also helpful because theyre more than eager to be the bad guy if someone is bugging you. We all have that friend and theyre kinda fierce. 45. Mariah. Mariah walked into the room first episode and I thought DAMN shes FIERCE... and then she never looked that good again. If I was just going by tv, which Im 98% going by shed be placed lower BUT I saw her on that drag cruise and her performance was PERFECT. It was CLASSIC DRAG but executed flawlessly and she was nice when we got stuck in the elevator with her. I feel like she thinks she has to be mean or fierce or whatever when shed actually be more well received if she was the person I saw on the cruise who was down to Earth and chill. 44. Milan: Milan is one of the few New York Queens that Ive ACTUALLY SEEN OUT. These other queens im always like NEW YORK? NEW YORK WHERE?!? Im a third generation new Yorker who has lived here 18 years on my own and Ive never seen most of these queens who claim to be from NYC. Milan is nice and a talented performer. I was never into her drag because shes real STAGE oriented and real JULIARD STYLE ( I dunno if she actually went there) and thats just not my interest but she at least TRIED. 43. Dax ExclamationPoint: I feel Dax sorta made a mistake pigeon holing herself as “Queen of the nerds”, as soon as someone claims identity of something on camera queens for some reason HATE IT. I imagine its some kind of projected self loathing as gays are trained to hate themselves. Like how dare YOU assert yourself as something, you CANT do that youre a faggot. I seriously think this is the unconscious voice in 98 percent of gay guys heads and its why so many are self sabotaging or drug addicts and why there is no such thing as a gay gay icon and even kinda why DRAG EXISTS AT ALL. We cant like ourselves because straight society taught us to hate ourselves so we put it all onto a fantastic woman. Dax seems like a nice person who doesnt have that insane person need to “win” and therefore really shouldnt have been on the show as she just got used as sacrifice for hungrier queens. 42. Kennedy Davenport: Wait did I already do Kennedy Davenport because I really didnt like her??? huh I guess I didnt. Well maybe my unconscious mind liked her more than my reptile ego did and she got placed higher than anticipated. How can you hate on a hard working talent who has a retarded sister she has to support?! Jesus christ give the bitch a tip and never do less than a FIVE when tipping queens people A DOLLAR IS THE SAME THING AS A QUARTER! 41. India Ferrah: Oh god I worry saying mean things about India because I dont want to hurt her feelings as worry that she TEETERS ON SANITY but she to me is what drag is WHEN I DONT LIKE DRAG. Her “combat contour” is brutalist to the point of being vulgar. To me her styling concept is PUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON NOW BECAUSE MAYBE WE NEED TO RUN OUT THE DOOR AFTERWARD. I mean its the 8 foot braid with a giant bow, and the top hat, and the body stocking, and the thigh high boot, and the breast plate, now a giant necklace to cover the edge of the fake boobs, now put a spider SUCKLING THE TIT of the breastplate, oh wait I have TWO BOOBS and I NEED ANOTHER SPIDER, now add a couple jewels to the eyes of the spider OH WAIT spiders have six eyes so add four more… now what about belts, I only have TWELVE…. 40. Mimi Imfurst: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! She fucking CAPTURED India ferrah like some kind of MOUNTAIN TROLL?!?!? That was one of the most amazingly insane moments on TV ever! Then when Raven WENT IN on her in All Stars …omg I have that segment saved on my phone and just watch it when I need to feel “myself” again. Mimi on the cruise actually did the best read on the Michelle Visage roast. Shes smart but lets her inner voices get the best of her. We all have inner voices but I feel chubby people are chubby because the voices are louder. Im not even saying it to be a dick but it seems like with people who suffer from body issues LIKE ME the inner voices are so LOUD you can see them reacting to them on their face. Hang around me long enough and you'll totally see this. This is called being a function insane person! 39. Morgan McMichaels: Ahhh the Morgan McMonkey! Did you know shes actually Scottish, like from Scotland? That didnt come off on the show. Ok Morgan to me is interesting because as a person Morgan is just not my kinda person, she even has a SUPERMAN TATTOO and you know how much I hate Superman as to me he is the OPPOSITE OF CREATIVITY and a HERO TO SHEEP but that does NOT discount her talents. Ive seen her perform live and shes VERY good. Do I want to hang with her NO, is she a solid talent YES. I met her once and she tried to tell me she doesnt eat pork because PIGS DONT HAVE KIDNEYS. She said this while chain smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily… hmmmm. I dont even know how to organize the judgements I have. All this said I feel if Morgan was your friend you could trust her and shed definitely not be afraid of taking a hit to defend you. 38. April Carrion: She is the best example of being chopped too soon. Shes very talented and pretty and makes her own looks and I respect her abilities. She had more to offer as Ive seen other looks of hers and they were good. Too much of a shrinking violet to survive a comepetition. Shes quite lovely Im surprised she hasnt got some rich old benefactor. 37. Nicole Paige Brooks Oh my fuckin god Nicole Paige Brooks?!?!? Nicole is so important as she is SO MANY THINGS. Nicole is the ESSENCE OF REGIONAL TALENT. She is THE small town coke head faggot drag queen WE ALL KNOW. My mom would have had her on PROBATION. The spirit that has possessed Nicoles body is an ancient spirit which haunts every rural gay bar! Remember how she had the hots for Raven and also had FRECH TIP TOENAILS?!…That BODY built EXCLUSIVELY by COCAINE. Ugh.. Ive never even seen Nicole but I know her sooo well. Nicole has that IVE BEEN TO PRISON and ALSO HAVE CHILDREN and ALSO HAVE A CLOSETED BLACK BOYFRIEND vibe that is SO PURE. Nicole is the queen who marches in the regional gay pride parade wearing flat sandals and a bikini and ACCEPTS TIPS while she does it! Nicole might also work at BEST BUY when “O.D” (out of drag). and when in drag theres also the worry that she might ACTUALLY O.D. Nicole is important. 36. Carmen Carrera: Ok Carmen is from Jersey where its NOT EASY to be a gay soul. Carmen once tried to tell me its ok that straight guys call you a faggot there because its not an isult its just what you are… EEEESSSSHKKK That is some HARDCORE Stockholm Syndrome. I could say more but its none of my damn business. Im not crazy about Carmen because I think shes made some choices based on where shes from but thats none of my damn business so I’ll shut the fuck up. To me Carmen is an example of an unfortunate situation. Ive had to deal with those hardened Jersey boys as a kid and as a tender gay boy its NOT A NICE THING and it would have been easier for me if I was just a girl too. Yes shes pretty, I wish her happiness. If I was raised where she was maybe I would have killed myself. In a way she sorta did I guess but also rebirthed herself.. maybe I need to give her more credit. Im going to add this. Most of us have to deal with being a "faggot" in a straight world and deal with it however we choose. I for example fetishisize it as for me its a safe place thats at least exciting as its FIERCE to have your hot husband call you a faggot as he bangs your puss hole out. At least that way youre dealing with the anxiety in a safe place and its HOT its also a lot easier than getting a sex change, pretending it never happened, and siding with your abusers in an effort to make the best of a bad situation. Maybe Ive made the wrong choice, see instead of siding with them and changing my sex I went punk and just write horrible things about them on St Patricks day and work out a lot so I can intimidate them on the street. SIDENOTE I have NEVER had someone make an anti gay comment to me when they're by themselves, have you ever noticed that? The comments are only made when youre out numbered... fuckin pussies. 35. Jiggly Caliente: Jiggly is real. 34. Victoria "Porkchop” Parker: Porkchop must be worshipped as she was sacrificed for all our sins. 32. Ivy Winters: Nobody ever put it together that Ivy Winters looks almost identical to Grace Jones AND Jean Kasem. That is POWERFUL MAGIC. Too bad she didnt know it either because if she channeled that spirit she could have won this thing so damn easy. 31. Pearl: 31. Tatiana: The day Tati steps away from low brow nineties references and learns to kick is the day Tati advances much farther. She NEVER uses her legs and her legs are AMAZING?! I wish she woulda had the self confidence to get tougher on Raven when Raven attacked her on her season because it was so clear that Raven was operating out of total jealousy being both have great beauty but for Tati it was effortless and for Raven its four hours of incredibly skilled painting. Tati was too green to have that wisdom. If she had it…ooooohhhhh it woulda been FUHEEEEIRCE! 30. Laganja Estranja: Oh god… I dont have the mental capacity at this point to go into the psyche of Laganja…Laganja is so important. Laganja is the litmus for bad faggotry because shes ACTUALLY TALENTED, shes got an amazing body, but OH GOD shes a nightmare. You can tell her parents felt guilty and coddled and spoiled their baby gay into a place where the only way she now knows how to operate is to be a needy indulged victim. Her comedy routine with the old people was a SURREALIST MASTER PIECE. Get off drugs laganja, they dont make you cool and needing the crutch of a vice does not a personality make. 29: Jinkx Monsoon: Does anyone else remember how bad she was at the beginning of her season??? She got the ONLY edit and they spun her into a storyline where theres was no way she could loose. Ive seen this storyline somewhere and it was called PRETTY IN PINK. They basically realized she both Molly Ringwalds character AND the Ducky character at the same time and spun a storyline for her to win because they hadnt a queen like her yet. She is talented, not my kinda talent but whatevs, to me shes the MACARONI ART of drag. She woulda been my friend first year of art school but then you have to change schools because you find out she has a crush thats a touch much on you and its weird because you thought you were just good friends. 28. Tyra Sanchez: In person I think Tyra might be the most beautiful of all the queens actually. You won't believe this but its true, she's a stunner. Too bad she just wants to be the best Beyonce, and not the best Tyra. Tyra, you be TYRA because Trinity K already does a waaaaaaaaay better Beyonce to be honest and youre actually so good on your own if you just owned YOURSELF youd be extraordinary. Its a shame she doesnt have the insight or desire to be HERSELF. Isnt that INSANE??? Its why nobody likes her, because SHE doesnt like her?! 27. Alexis Mateo: When you read her name do you also read it with a lisp? I do! Alexis is a sweet person whom I really appreciate and is also a victim of the pageant system. Pageant girls suffer from not fully grasping why the pageant system is bad. Ladies, we dont think YOU are bad, we think youre victims of a horrible oppressive system that wishes to put women into a structure of something like a DOG show. THIS IS DEGRADING NOT ONLY TO YOU BUT TO ALL FEMALES. It attempts to organize the female sex into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL based on the values of MEN and thats FUCKED UP. To organize females into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL is HORRIBLE and ROTTEN. It DEVALUES any ability that men might see as something THEY have to deal with and DENIES ABILITIES and STRENGTH to women creating an oppressive structure for females to operate in. Its GROSS, dont buy into it, its not cool! 26. Shannel: I know you dont agree but Shannel is important. Shannel wears VON DUTCH HATS. Shannels best friend is the WHISPERING FACE in the mirror that tells her to believe insane things. Shannel has THE BEST EYES of all contestants. Shannel belongs to a mentally ill race of people known as SHOW FOLK. Shannel thought JUGGLING while walking down the runway would be IMPRESSIVE. Shannel paid FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for that garment and Shannel paid TOO MUCH. Shannel WAS NOT ELIMINATED... SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE!….. Shannel is important. OK the TOP TWENTY FIVE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. These are the APEX PREDATORS!!! Have you noticed as the list has gone on the comments have gone from VENOMOUS and PUNISHING to RESPECTFUL ACCOLADE and thats because as the list goes the talent increases and Im grateful that these people are inspiring, not wasting my time, and are championing values that need to be championed! When I typed this I just got so excited I moved my ENTIRE BODY on top of my little clear desk chair and Im sitting here typing like a GARGOYLE! Every single one of these queens are a WINNER and I mean that. Im not just saying this shit, each one of these queens is a SOLID ARCHETYPE and depending on your own values you could place most of them in the top five and have a SOLID ARGUMENT. This list however is MY opinion and MY VALUES so this is much more about ME than THEM of course. Honestly every single queen on this entire list is a talent and deserves respect for making the effort!... yes even Phi-phi. To be in the top twenty five however means you can STAND YOUR GROUND AND OWN YOUR OWN CROWN. Remember this is MY list. Youll understand reading this list I value creativity and HEIGHT more than anything. Being fishy doesnt count for much to me and if youre dumb and dishonest it aint gonna work out…. Here are THE MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS OF RUPAULS DRAG RACE!!! 25. Jessica Wild: AHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAH How the FUCK did Jessica Wild make the top list?! FUCK YES MISS JESSICA you MADE IT!! Ahahah this is WONDERFUl. I secretly admit I LOVE Jessica. Ill go so far to say shes almost like a KINDER EN ESPAñOL version of Alyssa! Jessica live is FUN and shes VERY KIND. I met her and she was a doll. Jessica is GOOD VIBES. I can totally hang with Jessy. Is she creative? NOPE. Is she Edgy? NOPE. Is she fierce… actually she kinda is???!. Shes a good person who you can tell HONESTLY LOVES DRAG and has fun doing it and THAT is why she made top 25! Shes a pure soul who enjoys what she does and that its the SPIRIT and HONESTY rarely found on EARTH! 24. Max: Max CLEARLY is really into Kristen Mcnemany. Max served us upper middle class white privilege. She was NOT bound by the oppressive low class moral standards of gender and sexuality! Max allowed herself to be flat chested and have GREY hair and this says IM WEALTHY AND EDUCATED ENOUGH NOT TO HAVE TO PLAY BY A MANS RULES AND BE A BIMBO YOU POOR PEOPLE?! Max was well read and Max is probably the most well travelled person in the semi mid west sorta shitty small to medium sized city in which I imagine she is from NEXT TO HER SISTER that was in THE PEACE CORPS (I imagine). I bet Max went to a college that was previously ONLY FOR GIRLS. Off the show Max really gave some fantastic editorial moments. I appreciated Max, she was refreshing. 23. Naomi Smalls: The Praying Mantis of drag! Naomis skeleton is the best of all the girls and thats why shes here. TALL and THIN is SO IMPORTANT. She actually was a nice person and very creative too. I don't like how people discounted her, she was far more creative than most of these people. 22. Milk: Milk is kinda like Max but not as annoying as a person and more “boy aware". Like I imagine sitting on train with Max might be tedious as her affectations are what got her chopped, and Milk though shes a touch WASPY for my tastes is actually cool and smart and you could share and laugh with her. Milk was MY club name in the 90s so thats interesting as were both tall white people I guess that name just gets handed to you. Milk is sorta the Sandra Bernhardt of RPDR to me but maybe its just the STRONG NOSE. I liked Milks Pinnochio A LOT but if I remember correctly she used the same wig or a pair of shoes a few times and that DOES get a deduction. She was REAL "I have a mom who went to college and shes tall and for my birthday she bought me an AFGHAN (the dog)." . SMART WHITE PEOPLE LIFE… basically everyone I went to college with. 21. Joslyn Fox: Jossy Fox is not trying to be anything she isnt and that is her refreshing appeal. Jossy shops at Tj Maxx and has lunch at Panera because she used to work there and still gets a discount because her fag hag never left despite making a lot of lateral moves that took her nowhere. If I had kids Id hire Jossy to babysit them. Jossy asked to have my husband visit her at her dining table on the drag cruise, BUT NOT ME. 20. Willam: I really should have put Willam at a higher ranking place simply because shes a class act and one of the only queens whos never asked for a discount and buys my clothes. She is the one queen who decided to play by her own rules which sorta bit her in the ass ALMOST, but shes also one of the only queens who has her own career outside of RPDR. I like Willam, shes distant and calculating, but so am I. 19. Ongina: Ongina is important because shes the first one to show that to be successful on the show its not about your elaborately constructed artifice that you might THINK is what makes people like you, but about the REAL YOU you fear to show others that is what makes people like you and this TEENY BEING had the balls to do it. Ongina is all about the live performance as shes a total charmer. She can dance in the palm of your hand and sleeps in a walnut shell at night. Her charm is her human connection that you dont get from most performers and you can't really get from TV. 18. Manila Luzon: Manilla gives the best costumes in drag styling. Her puppet faces are great, but ONE TIME USE, so shes a little for the kiddies and straight people who only see her once and dont follow drag so thats why she isnt higher for me. Remember if youre top 25 youre iconic! Im just organizing MY VALUES here so its not about these queens abilities but more about MY PERSONAL AGENDA and how I would ORGANIZE WORLD VALUES should I be given the chance…. (echoing Skeletor laugh) 17. Latrice Royale: Latrice is the spirit of America. If you dont like Latrice YOU ARE ISIS. Watch her performance at the season finale where Violet wins, its sooo darn good. Id love to put her farther up but I cant because she only wears THE SAME PAIR OF SHOES with every look. Lady… lay out some coins stop “living poor”. The moment you spend the dough to move yourself forward YOU ACTUALLY MOVE FORWARD. Stop living in a world where you cant afford shoes, break out of that mindset where youre worried to spend a little cash because you might not have it. LIVE RICHLY…YOU CAN AFFORD SHOES. That said remember CREDIT IS NOT CASH BITCH, do NOT use a credit card pretend you have the fantasy of the security of wealth, but I KNOW you at least have 49.99 for a plus size pair of PLEASERS! 16. Katya. The first time I saw Katya I thought TOTAL FORMER COKE HEAD... and I was right. Thats not a read its just the vibes. I think shes very smart and funny and her finale “read ya” was the best of al of them BUT she got a TOTAL SWEETHEART EDIT BECAUSE ALASKA WAS SLAUGHTERING EVERYONE so they needed to make it seem at least a LITTLE like a competition (though detox was like on another level) but I REALLY dont like that FORCED self deprecation and FAKE NICE LAUGH she gives people ESPECIALLY Trixie.. Stop GIFTING her that reaction, we all see right through it! It comes off like less of a laugh and more of an APOLOGY for existing and you dont need to do it youre fierce, just stop. Before you get too big a head though I have to be a good person and let you know your finale look on All Stars was the THIRD worst look ever to go down the runway behind Serena and Cynthia. Don't believe me???.. check out the hemline. 15 Jujubee: Out of all the queens I think if I had to spend an extended period of time with them Id choose Juju. Shes smart and funny and hopefully that would give me the opportunity to teach her about STYLING because she needs some help. Damn your looks are CHEAP woman. They sell Vogue at the GROCERY STORE!? Im not even asking for the far superior Italian Vogue, Im just saying SHITTY COMMERCIAL GROCERY STORE FASHION MAGAZINE VOGUE. Pick it up and then look at your clothes and figure out the difference. I actually think Juju might be the funniest queen even over Bianca. Shes certainly one of the smartest, and dont forget her library reading was really good. 14. Trinity K. Bonet: I imagine youre suprised at Trinity ranking so high up. Trinity is something I respect.. QUIET CONFIDENCE. Trinity was too damn well mannered to get as far as she should have in the competition and the reason why is Trinity K is the personality type I really respect who is someone who is QUIET and TALENTED. She lets her talents do the talking and unfortunately for good tv you cant just sit there and wait to slay on the runway, you have to have provide soundbytes and dramtic facial gestures for gifs etc. Trinity respectfully minded her own damn business and let her abilities do the talking and I REALLY like that. I went on that nightmarish drag cruise and hands down the best performance was Trinity it was about a ten minute Beyonce number and it was BETTER than Beyonce. It was FANTASTIC and im not even a Beyonce fan. I also think shes very beautiful and has a total Angela Basset quality to her which Im charmed by. Trinity was well mannered and polite and I kinda wanted to be her friend because someone like that benefits from someone like me who isnt afraid to maybe NOT be so polite should the rare occasion call for it. I guess Bianca kinda saw that too. I kinda think for some weird reason Im sweet on her because Tina Turner was my first concert at 8 years old, which I won the tickets to answering Tina Turner Triva on the radio, and that remeinds me of my mom who I went to the concert with and so therefor I want to protect this “good woman”. 13. Nina Flowers: Speaking of good women the next is Nina Flowers. I have NEVER heard ONE person say ONE bad thing about Nina and the multiple times Ive met her she is KIND AND LOVELY. Nina endured that entire CONFLAMA of SEASON 1 and DIDNT EVEN GET THE PALTRY 10k she deserved?! THEN Nina got CURSED with being paired with RAVING MAD WOMAN TAMMIE BROWN and ROLLED WITH IT without complaint. In fact if you watch All Stars 1 instead of complaining Nina handles her like a loving mother who has a RETARDED CHILD who YELLS A LOT. Speaking of YELLING RETARDED PEOPLE one time my husband and I were in Miami and we bought BAD PILLS (is there any other kind in Miami) and were TWACKED OUT ASSHOLES and ran into her and we COULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP and she was SO TOLERANT, AND SO NICE, AND SO UNBOTHERED that we almost wondered if we PASSED FOR SANE. Looking back WE DID NOT, Nina was just really nice. Nina is also a great Dj who really gets that CUNT FACTOR and makes for a great night out. 12 Miss Fame: Drag being an art form that relies so heavily on the magic of transformation being the best make up artist of all the queens certainly gets you TOP THREE placement. Too bad Miss Fame is the SECOND BEST MAKE UP ARTIST of Rupauls drag race. If this was a BIOLOGICAL female make-up challenge Fame would be the best, but DRAG MAKE UP is a VERY different art form. Fame had fantastic looks and a greatly appreciate her. I just wish the brains matched the visuals because theyre SO sharp. She really is the Linda of RPDR. Linda was my SECOND choice of the Supermodels, my first was Nadja so you can see where Im coming from. To me alien proportions and snowgress fantasies trump “classic fashion perfection”. 11. Chi Chi DeVayne : Chi Chi Devayne is THE SPIRIT OF DRAG. Chi chi is POOR AS FUCK and still managed to teach herself how to do BACKFLIPS IN HEELS. THERE IS NO REASON FOR ALL OF US NOT TO BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME BUT WE CANNOT! She is THE DRAG ASSASSIN. I respect her SO much. Imagine if she was given the same opportunities any of us in the North East of the United States were given?! When I was a little kid I wasnt rich either but I feel in North Eastern America you can receive a great education and you dont have to be wealthy at all. A good education is just kind of built into the psyche just like our PURITANICAL JUDGEMENT. I mean as a kid I grew up in a tiny single parent home next to a pond and it certainly wasnt GLAMOROUS but if I felt like it my 8 year old self could wander over to the neighbors house which was basically THE ADDAMS FAMILY MANSION to me which belonged to the professor who established the local community college and Id just sit there in his living room while he and his wife watched JULIA CHILD Id point at the random objects hed collected from around the world and ask “Whats that?!” and hed reply “That is a TURKISH BULLWHIP!” FIERCE?! ..with that information alone not only did I learn of exotic locations I never heard of I knew I TOO wanted to go there AND had the ability too. Something tells me being from Louisianna Chi Chi didnt have the opportunity to learn how to cook LONDON BROIL (I still remember Julia saying “Ooh this roast is SPITTING at me) while sitting in the dark at a baby grand piano while a Grandfather clock gonged in the background like these people did. It would be VERY EASY to be an angry bitter person coming from her situation and instead Chi Chi took it upon herself to excel to the best of her abilities and BOY HAS SHE. I feel Chi Chi was THE BEST when it came to Lipsynch for your life. All she needs is 12 months, a handful of those McDonalds gift certificates you got at Halloween, a stack of VHS tapes of STYLE with ELSA KLENSCH, 6 National Geographic magazines, and everyone dies. Chi Chi is FIERCE. 10 Chad Michaels: Being the number one Cher impersonator in the world gets you top ten placement forever. Its not debatable its DRAG LAW. 9.Tammie Brown: Tammie Brown is an UNCONTROLLABLE FORCE OF NATURE. Tammy is the SWIRLING POWER OF CHAOS. GRAVITY DECIDES TO LEAVE WHEN TAMMIE IS AROUND! Tammies superpower is that she holds no power unto her own but EVERYONE ELSES POWERS ARE RENDERED USELESS WHEN SHE WALKS IN THE ROOM. NO QUEEN has any power over Tammie and for THAT ALONE she gets top ten placement. Have you ever seen those crazy cat videos of cats reacting to people who throw a cucumber on the ground? If you havent, check them out, but in a nut shell cats are for some reason TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by a cucumber sitting on the ground. They go from acting relatively sane to COMPLETELY BIZARRE at the toss of a cucumber... well TAMMY IS THAT CUCUMBER. 8. Bianca Del Rio: Bianca is a hard working professional and a talent and Im glad we have her on “our” side as I cant think of any straight comedian who could beat her in a "read off". She doesnt particularly check any of my boxes as what she is Im not super into but you cant deny her abilities. Shes the sharpest tack. My friend Bradford hired her for a dinner and it was fine and fun and all and as she was walking out the door my NUMB NUT husband brings up “but what about the movie youre making?” this of course lead her to go on about how shes raising money etc so then BRADFORD THE ASSHOLE makes everyone say how much theyre going to donate to her film putting me on the spot to donate 500 dollars to the fucking crappy movie?! It was well shot but UGH LADY wheres the funny? I paid FIVE HUNDRED GOD DAMN DOLLARS FOR THAT MOVIE?!?! FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS….. FUCK.... thats TWO tickets to see CHER?!?!?!? 7.Sharon Needles: When Sharon first came out I BOUGHT IT, literally, I bought the t shirt which was secrelty packed as a GLITTER BOMB.. FUCKING CUNT…She really gave us hope and spoke to so many and was a creative and funny star. Shes a great talent who has done some amazing looks. Unfortunately shes become super sour and nasty and nobody wants to work with her and former fans are made uncomfortable to be around her. Sharon Needles is THE BEST DRAG QUEEN nobody wants to be around. 6. Violet Chachki: Im pretty sure Violet was trained by a SITH LORD or something. Shes CURIOUSLY YOUNG to be so professional and SO on point and just soooo good. God I hated the idiot RPDR fan base who talked shit about her simply because they couldnt relate to her because she was confident in her abilities. A wolf does NOT consult the sheep as to what to have for dinner!?! Im sorry but thats NOT something to make apologies for and its CERTAINLY not something you need to change. Nobody should have to dumb themselves down for the masses and Violet has not. She consistently DOMINATES THEM with her BITCH GODDESS self and Im SOOOO THANKFUL FOR THAT. This icy goddess holds the title for the number one AND number two AND number three best gowns on RPDR history. Dont go against Violet you WILL loose. 5. Alaska: Alaska broke all the rules by being HER OWN CREATURE. You cant pin down Alaska as one specific thing. Shes is an entity unto her own and that is so important to recognize. Shes also maybe the smartest queen of all of them. Her drag is a critique of drag itself which makes her a more evolved creature compared to “lesser” queens. Like all these top five shes really carved out PERSONALITY in her drag persona. Shes maybe made me laugh more than any other queen.The only “negative” I can think of is I dont like her interest in nails, seems like something India Ferra would be into. Its sorta weird that she named herself Alaska when the biggest gay icon in Spain and many other Spanish speaking nations is Alaska but shes from Pittsburg, not Madrid. 4. Alyssa Edwards: Oh fuck is Alyssa Edwards important! The DON KNOTSS of Drag Alyssa is sorta just like Texas from which she hails… BIG AND WEIRD THINKING AND despite being the essence of AMERICA its also ITS OWN ENTITY and by its own design is flawless and also VERY FLAWED! Remember when ALyssa first started and she was mean and people did not like her?! This is important to recognize because Alyssa HOOKED US with a very special chemistry of herself as a real person and this SWIRLY KOOKOO TOWN that her psyche exists in where shes the MAYOR, THE RICHEST LADY, THE NOSEY NEIGHBOR, AND THE BEAUTY QUEEN! Shes all those things and we get to see them all exist in every gesture. The gif of her negotiating a sip on an extra long straw was just as responsible for us falling in love with her as was her UNSELFAWARNESS (is that a word?) upon the HARD REVEAL of her BACKROLLS. Those lips and eyes are insanely MAGNETIC but all of it would be only half as magnetic if we didnt know what a LOOSEY GOOSEY she is?! You KNOW that Alyssa PERFORMS FOR NOBODY when shes by herself…. OFTEN. Alyssa I think is the only queen Ive ever hired and she got out of a cab by herself in FULL DRAG wearing like a TEDDY and a SHEER DRESSING GOWN and walked down the street in broad daylight asking my assistant if the MEXICAN RESTAURANT ON THE CORNER was where she was PERFORMING?!?! Alyssas personal styling is: “Dress, not particularly expensive shoe, AND PIECE OF THING ON HER HEAD- but NOT a complete thing on her head just a PART of something on her head! Its the VAGUE ALLUSION that this is part of MAYBE SOMETHING GREATER, or maybe shes been to SPAIN, or maybe she shoplifts at CLAIRES BOUTIQUE?! Alyssa is an America treasure! 3. Raven: Raven is JEALOUS BEAUTY. RAVEN IS EVERY FIERCE VILLAINESS THAT EVER EXISTED. Raven VERY EASILY could be my number one BUT IM LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF and Im not going to SIT HERE and WAIT to be loved by someone I adore as they DENY MY EXISTENCE simply because THEY THEMSELVES are incapable of being loved. I already DID THAT SHOW its called ME AND MY DAD and thanks but over a lifetime as a child I sat there on the couch waiting for him to show up, which he often DID NOT, as I hoped that MAGICALLY ONE DAY this person you adore is suddenly going to take interest in you. GUESS WHAT… IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!! I might love Raven but RAVEN CANT LOVE BACK and instead of being MAD (like I was for a lifetime with my own dad) Im going to recognize that I dont hate this person at all, in fact this VILLAIN is a HERO to me and though I wish theyd be capable of liking me back theyre NOT and THATS OK. Im not the bad guy for that, and neither is Raven, and neither is my dad. Its something they cant do and MAYBE someday they will and if so THATS GREAT but until then Im gonna love myself and put interest in people who reciprocate my feelings.This all may sound like I had some kind of ACTUAL relationsship with Raven WHICH I HAVE NOT but Ravens entire DRAG CONCEPT HER VERY DRAG BEING is that story line to me. The even more twisted part is we love Raven BECAUSE shes cruel?!?! I think shes TREMENDOUS! Raven is THE EVIL QUEEN from Snow White, shes Alexis from Dynasty, shes Katra from She-ra. Raven IS jealous beauty. Raven is a cruel and powerful goddess and I LIVE for her. We have tried SO MANY times to hire her and it falls on dead ears. Shes cannot be bothered. She needs to GET BOTHERED because the reason why shes not an All Star is because she cant be. I mean I think its really because shes had a couple DUIs and theres no way a liquor company was gonna give 100k to a person who has 2 DUIS but you know what I mean.... Raven is also THE BEST DRAG MAKEUP ARTIST. All these future queens stand on Ravens trompe l’oeil bone structure. Ravens one word comments on fashion photo Ruview make me HOWL. Ravens astute observations are as sharp as her nose contour. Raven has the teeniest room for evolution spiritually I think JUST A TEENY BIT, like DONT CHANGE, but MAYBE get a LITTLE kind and Raven will be my number one and OH GOD I want her to be number one SO BAD. 2. Raja. Ok, now Im back to sitting on my tiny clear desk chair like a Gargoyle because its THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS?!!?!? VERY SIMPLY without Raja Rupauls Drag Race would be MEXICAN TELEVISION! The show would be an FAR less elevated and be a GOOPEY SUNDAE of WIGS AND BOOBS AND WELL WORN DRESSES THAT SMELL LIKE B.O and ANGEL! Raja brings in references that lift the entire competition UP. Alyssa is Cosmopolitan but Raja is ITALIAN VOGUE AND NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. Shes still the best runway walker of all the queens which is like MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING. In her single season she gave us gold robot, amazon tribes person, Marie Antoinette, and when she walked in first episode it was the most obvious time someone was CLEARLY the winner from MINUTE ONE. Raja is the PUBLIC TELEVISION OF DRAG RACE! A FUNDAMENTAL NECESSITY to the CLASS LEVEL of Rupauls Drag Race and without her the floor would drop out. LETS IMAGINE AN AFRICAN WATERING HOLE with baboons squeeling, zebras making their weirdo sounds that you would never expect to come from a horse, hippos eating, hyenas laughing and all of a sudden the GIRAFFE enters the scene and everyone SHUTS UP AND STARES… Well RAJA IS THAT GIRAFFE... and yes Shangela and Yarra Sofia are the babbons. We need LESS BABOONS and MORE GIRAFFES. If I HAD to make a negative critque Id say Id just like to see LESS POT and WINE references on her facebook page because when I read that I think she might be mildly depressed and I dont want that from this creative talent whom I adore! 1. Detox. DETOX IS CHARISMA. Detox IS the MUGLER woman. Thierry Mugler is what saved me in college. Mugler is clearly what has saved Detox as well. The first time I saw Thierry Muglers work was at a newsstand in VALENCIA CALIFORNIA at CalArts and his robot suit was on the cover of STERN magazine and I grabbed it, and some suburban TWAT MOM shot me side eye because the robot suit shows nipple and of course she disapproved that because she was JUDGEY UNTRAVELED TRASH. I looked inside at his work and I thought I WANT TO BE WHERE THESE PEOPLE EXIST?!?!? I actually brought the magazine to my mentor and said "I NEED TO BE HERE." Well Detox takes me to that place! I can relate to Detox. Were really similar in many ways, both of us have tried to manefest that Mugler construct as best as possible and through ANY means necessary. If Raven is the Evil Queen from Disneys Snow White, Detox is Maleficent! Both are SO MAJOR how do you pick?! Well I will tell you how! Remember how in my Raven rant I was saying I was going to learn to love myself well putting Detox first is learning to love myself! Why?! Because Detox is the EVIL QUEEN who MAKES GOOD. When Alvaro offered to pay both Detox and Raven to send me a little happy 40th birthday message Raven didnt respond, and DETOX DID and REFUSED TO TAKE MONEY. You know when Skeletor feels the spirit of Christmas in the Heman Christmas special?? Well SKELETOR DETOX. Shes the VILLAIN we all love with A HEART thats open to be loved. Detox is the DAD WHO SHOWS UP. Detox takes great measures to embody the values that mean so much to me. Its actually HARD to be this GOOD. She is SOFT AS NAILS but you still wanna FUCK HER?! She had TREMENDOUS sex appeal without being soft, amazing style without being trend driven, and shes a bitch goddess without being bitter. Detox is number one, Detox is the good mommy.
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answering one of those lists of questions we use to do back in 2010
if you could pierce somewhere other than your ears, where would it be? - I would like to have my nose pierced again
what are your feelings on bangs? - i love bangs and thye really suit me, though they do make me look about 8 years younger and i hate growing them out
what is your favorite blanket material? - cashmere
if you had to be sent up into space or into the depths of the ocean, where would you choose? - hm deep ocean because it really terrifies me are you afraid of death? why or why not? - no. I’m afraid of pain and terrible accidents, but the idea of actually being dead doesnt bother me what astrological sign do you think you should be? - taurus or gemini who is the worst person you have ever dated? - every one is a complex set of flaws and traits and their personality is built upon their experiences and everything that has ever happened to them, and remembering that reminds you that the way people act isnt about you personally and no-one is “bad” if you could remake one movie the way you think it should’ve been made, which movie would you choose? - The Hobbit what is a custom/activity/experience/etc from another culture that you wish would be in your culture? - last year I attended the final 2 weeks of a Yolngu (Aboriginal group from far north Australia) funeral, and the openness of grieving was really full on. it has really changed my relationship with grieving if you could choose where you were born, where would you want it to be? hm it wouldnt matter to me *where* i was born, but i wish i’d grown up somewhere where being bi.multi-lingual is the norm if someone told you they could tell you the truth about god/religion/higher powers/the universe/the meaning of life/what happens after death, would you want to know? I dont think there is a meaning to life, i dont think anything happens after death, I dont know if these are questions I have? but i guess yeah im too nosy to ever turn down the hot goss what is your favorite part of your nighttime routine? sleep doesn’t count. I use to drink this lovely lavender herbal tea every night and im just starting to drink it again what is your favorite form of exercise? I use to love running. i would run 10+ Kms on the treadmill every evening, but both my knees are fucked and i can barely jog anymore. so i guess just hiking / walking in nature
what is one current trend that you hate? cancel culture? idk. so many things annoy me...so i just dont surround myself with them. if theyre bringing other people joy who cares. what is a trend that died that you would bring back? perms what era of fashion do you wish to bring back? 90s “tomboy” style for young girls! i love flares and 70s flowy fashion too im big on period-drama costumes what is one movie or tv show that everyone loves that you hate? i dont like “gross” animation did you have a teacher growing up that helped you through a difficult time? who were they? A handful. My literature teacher Mrs. Campbell stand out think of a paper you have written sometime in your education. what was the topic? It’s all i do haha mostly about rethinking Aboriginal Studies and approaches to Indigenous education do you believe in universal healthcare? discuss. is that liek australia’s health care? like yes? when americans talk about how much a trip to the drs or a medical procedure cost that you would just die without????? what is one song that makes you feel like love is real? landslide - fleetwood mac what is one song that makes you feel like you’re dancing in a meadow with the sun shining on your skin? california - joni mitchell what is one song that makes you believe that things will get better? california - joni mitchell haha have you met any celebrities? if so, who? lots but whatever you’re being forced to move out of your country. you must choose another one to move to, and you may never leave it, even for vacation. what country do you choose? bonus points if you answer the city. most of my overseas trips have been fairly short holidays so i have no idea about the practicalities of lving in them / cost of living / laws etc. so this is hard but probably America, in either oregon or montana do you believe in the death penalty? discuss. no. what do you think happens after you die? your body returns to the worms. name someone you love. Geordie. name someone you like, but don’t necessarily love. Oliver. how many soulmates do you think a person has? more than 1 is love always worth it? discuss. love is good but we dont need romantic relationships to be fullfilled. love is everywhere pick up your phone. look at the text you sent closest to an hour ago. what was it? ”seems like a scam” do you believe in magical beings? discuss. no what time of the day do you feel most at peace with yourself? outdoors at 2pm what is an impulsive decision you have made that you don’t regret? to drive to Alice Springs when i was inbetween houses in 2018 if you were given the opportunity to completely start your life over from the beginning with everything prior and up until your birth remaining the same, would you? yeah. not because i regret things, it would jsut be fascinating to see the tiny miniscule things that would change things. i think about the tiny spur of the moment thigns i did when i was 12 that impacted friendships i would make and schools i would go to and how my life is still interconnected with people i met one time 15 years ago how do you feel about greek life in colleges? seems weird, culty and toxic. people say there are positives, but they dont seem to outweigh the bad in my eyes. but i dont think we really have that her in australia what is an aspect or event in history that you were obsessed with as a child? ancient egypt lol describe your ideal town to live in. I would love to move to Alice Springs. A commune is the dream what age are you scared to be? alternatively, what age were you most scared to be in the past? im truely so psyched to turn 30. do you have a secret you want to share? be as vague or specific as you want. get it out. if you want. I only have one big secret that no-body knows. do billionaires work harder than other people? discuss. fetch the guillitine what is your favorite hairstyle for yourself? i think my mid length hairstyle of 2017 was v nice. thats when my hair naturally curls the most what is your favorite memory from being 13 years old? dear god what is a movie that shaped who you were as a person at a young age? Into the wild lol which us state would you erase if you could? not from the US so this doesnt mean anthing to me lol what is a skill you theoretically want to learn but probably never will? to be a mechanic what is an obscure language you want to speak? it’s not “obscure” but i guess only a relative small number of people speak Yolngu Matha and i would like to be fluent what is a place you choose not to go to anymore? why? lmao i avoid the northland coles (supermarket) because a dude i dated shops there and i ran into him once after id decided i didnt want to see him anymore and it was cooked do you think you’re living a fake life/putting on a facade/lying to people about who you really are? why or why not? i perpetually feel like im waiting to live the lfie i want to what is the color that defines your life? burnt orange you have the opportunity to go to an exclusive celebrity event. which one is it? (award shows, premieres, parties, etc) i cant think of one? you can bring back one person from the dead, but you must choose someone to die in their place. who are the two people you are choosing? I would bring back Andrea Dworkin i dont know who i would kill off instead. what is your favorite fun fact that people don’t really know? idk if people dont know this but i guess it might be australia specifc But dingoes have special jointed wrists that are way different to dogs, and they can hold things, climb and open doors. pick up the nearest reading material to you (book/magazine/paper/etc). what is the first line of that reading material? lmao HOMER / The Odyssey is on my bedside table but im nto moving if you had to choose a sport to play professionally, which one would you choose? soccer? what do you do to unwind/cool down when you’re upset? a hot hot hot bath by candle light listening to neil young what is the color scheme of your favorite sunrise or sunset? pink purple what is a beauty product you swear by? i dont wear make up but i guess eyebrow gel is cool how do you feel about plastic surgery? discuss. i hate our culture of uncritical support for it. i think the prominence of it is relly cooked. i hate that people treat it like minor / low risk when its very serious. if you could get plastic surgery, would you? what would you change? a breast reduction cotton balls or cotton rounds? ??? what is your favorite animal product? i dont know what this means lol if you had to attend school in another country, which country would you choose? France? what will be/was the color scheme of your wedding? marriage is bad but i guess native australian flora is there something you have a really strong opinion about for basically no reason? what is it? i have basically no opinion on everything who is a person you would fight to the death for under any circumstances? no-one what would you do if you were in the hunger games? be honest. terrible? what time do you think everyone should wake up? getting into your circadian rhythm is so goooooood what is your favorite type of nut? if you’re allergic to nuts, sorry. hmm im obsessed with peanut butter but i dont really care for peanuts. i love brazel nuts what is your favorite part of your hometown? . . . uh the meth or the class gap or the conservative rural values / politics or ??? you must get rid of one of your electronic items. you have no choice. which one do you sacrifice? phone what is the first memory you have of oppression/discrimination? it doesn’t have to be about yourself. being like pre-school aged and being aware of my black cousins being spereated from their parents name 3 books you were forced to read in school. DH Lawrence novellas, which i loved No Sugar, everyone should read this The crucible, urhg so good how do you keep track of events/deadlines? calendar? agenda? your brain? having like 20 planners what is the first book that made you cry that comes to mind? i dont remember crying in a book if you had to give a seminar about something, what would it be about? abortion laws and access in rural australia how do you feel about your mother? she is good and complicated and intelligent and funny is makeup an art form? discuss. no what kind of videos do you primarily watch on youtube? ill just list my most viewed channels Daisy Lola Sarah Therese Unnatural Vegan what is the scent of your deodorant? i dont wear deoderant at what age do you hope you die? whenever
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Myspace has come full circle
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My husband
2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy until you get to know me
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? my family this weekend
4. Are you easy to get along with? Normally
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yes he has done in it before
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Funny people with a dry sense of humor
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Well I hope so
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? One of my friends from college
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? No its natural
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My therapist
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? This is what I was dealing with (with a picture of my puppy climbing over my shoulder)
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Soak up the sun, what if I never get over you, wild hearts, had a bad day, 100 years
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes as long as they dont get it tangled
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? No
15. What good thing happened this summer? We bought a house
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yep I'm married to him
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes, there's to many viable planets for it not to
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No thank god
19. Do you like bubble baths? No I hate baths
20. Do you like your neighbors? I dont know him but he seems nice enough
21. What are you bad habits? Picking at my lips
22. Where would you like to travel? Europe again
23. Do you have trust issues? Yes I do
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Getting in my pajamas
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My teeth
26. What do you do when you wake up? Take care of my dogs
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? It cant get much lighter but I wouldnt want it darker
28. Who are you most comfortable around? My best friends
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yes they have
30. Do you ever want to get married? Already done it and dont regret it
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes it is and has been since I was a teenager
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I wouldnt want to have a threesome
33. Spell your name with your chin. Mattrns
34. Do you play sports? What sports? No I havent played sports in a long time
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Without TV
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes I have
37. What do you say during awkward silences? I dont say anything. Silence doesnt bother me and I'm stubborn enough to wait out awkward silences
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? He is funny and sarcastic, caring and intelligent, philosophical and passionate
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Antique stores
40. What do you want to do after high school? Jm doing it as a teacher
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes I do
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? It normally means I'm very angry
43. Do you smile at strangers? Yes it might brighten someone's day
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Outer space
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My dogs whining to go out and get breakfast
46. What are you paranoid about? That I'll turn into my mother
47. Have you ever been high? Yes
48. Have you ever been drunk? Oh yes
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Light grey
51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? That I didnt lost control of myself so easily
53. Favourite makeup brand? I don't wear makeup
54. Favourite store? Barnes and Noble
55. Favourite blog? Gamer channels on youtube (dont know if they count)
56. Favourite colour? Purple
57. Favourite food? Anything chocolate
58. Last thing you ate? Cream cheese frosting
59. First thing you ate this morning? Greek yogurt and blueberries
60. Ever won a competition? For what? No
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? I was suspended from middle school for slapping a girl
62. Been arrested? For what? No
63. Ever been in love? Many times
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I kissed my neighbor when I was in second grade
65. Are you hungry right now? No I just had dinner
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? My friends are my tumblr friends
67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook
68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now? No
70. Names of your bestfriends? Harold, ashleigh, brad
71. Craving something? What? I'm craving the carrot cupcakes I just made
72. What colour are your towels? Green
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No just my dogs
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? None
75. Favourite animal? Tigers
76. What colour is your underwear? Black
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Fudge brownie anythint
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? A grey shirt
80. What colour pants? Black plaid pajama pants
81. Favourite tv show? Doctor who
82. Favourite movie? Lord of the rings
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Neither
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Neither
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? I don't like the movie
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? The shark with daddy issues
87. First person you talked to today? My husband
88. Last person you talked to today? My husband
89. Name a person you hate? A bitch in my sorority
90. Name a person you love? My friends
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? The bitch from my sorority haha
92. In a fight with someone? No
93. How many sweatpants do you have? One pair (and then a lot of pajama panta)
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Two
95. Last movie you watched? A horror movie but I cant remember the name
96. Favourite actress? Carrie fischer
97. Favourite actor? Daniel Radcliffe
98. Do you tan a lot? No I just burn
99. Have any pets? Two dogs and two cats
100. How are you feeling? Tired
101. Do you type fast? Yes and I can type without looking
102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes I do
103. Can you spell well? Yes I am a good writer
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Very much so
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes they're great
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I think so
107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes a few times
108. What should you be doing? Nothing for once
109. Is something irritating you right now? How many students have missing work
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes I have and it hurt worse that I couldnt be with them
111. Do you have trust issues? Yes
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Probably my husband
113. What was your childhood nickname? Goat
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes my job is in another state
115. Do you play the Wii? I used to but I dont have a Wii anymoew
116. Are you listening to music right now? No
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yea
118. Do you like Chinese food? Love it
119. Favourite book? The throne of glass series
120. Are you afraid of the dark? Not unless my dogs start randomly barking at something
121. Are you mean? I know I can be when I'm angry
122. Is cheating ever okay? No and I regret doing it
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Never
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes I dk
125. Do you believe in true love? Yes I do
126. Are you currently bored? Very
127. What makes you happy? Funny videos
128. Would you change your name? No I wouldnt
129. What your zodiac sign? Aries
130. Do you like subway? Yeah
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Remind him hes gay
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? My husband
133. Favourite lyrics right now? Wild hearts cant be broken
134. Can you count to one million? Probably could if I hated myself enough
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Told my students that I would get alerts if they cheated on an online test
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Normally open
137. How tall are you? 5'9"
138. Curly or Straight hair? Wavy hair
139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette
140. Summer or Winter? Summer
141. Night or Day? Night
142. Favourite month? August
143. Are you a vegetarian? No
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark chocolate
145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee
146. Was today a good day? It was pretty good
147. Mars or Snickers? Mars
148. What’s your favourite quote? You do not yield
149. Do you believe in ghosts? I'm not sure
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? "what will you say, asterin mused, "when we find the crochans?"
(via itsgracesdrunkmametown)
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Okay so I finally finished Ready Player One. Got a little eh in the middle with the romance and sometimes a little too openly expositiony with some things but I otherwise loved it. I can definitely see why it's been considered the nerd bible. Between the references, the action packed and imaginative scenes, the subtle pushes at the darker sides of nerd culture (enough to make you feel a little uncomfortable but not open enough to feel like you -a nerd- were being lectured), and the inclusiveness that didnt feel forced... It definitely made for a good read. It's an old book by now but spoiler if you want to read it still. I cant use the read more on my phone so here's just a warning. You had an abysmally poor fat kid as the protagonist (even when he gets fit he still becomes bald and eyebrowless), a curvy "rubenesque" gal with a large birth mark on her face who word vomits when anxious, an african american lesbian who also rocks her curves using a caucasian male avatar, and two japanese otakus who have never met irl but are considered brothers in the OASIS. Like... I know I'm one of the biggest skeptics when it comes to so-called diversity in media, but this book does it right. It slips it in there and doesnt make a huge deal about anything. It doesnt hold up this huge sign that shouts "HEY! Look at our african american character and our female love interest who needs no man!" it just lets the story happen and the characters do their thing so you can judge them on their own merit and personality. Besides Wade, you dont even know the identities of the other four of the High Five till near the end. It perfectly uses the anonymity of the internet to it's greatest advantage. And on a last note of diversity, the two god like beings of the book Ogden and Halliday are examples of how introversion and extroversion are required to make great things... And Halliday, creator of this entire virtual world, is even believed to be on the autism spectrum. And as I said before, at no point do you feel like you are being lectured to go outside and play or that someone is telling you that your interests are wrong. Instead it speaks as a voice of experience, showing you an outsider perspective on the lives of unhealthy nerd culture in ways like Wade eventually only ever wearing two haptic suits that he wears in rotation and shaving off all of his body hair... Or the "missing million" where the hikikomori epidemic in Japan is driven to the extreme. It gives the main character the wealth and power to do whatever they want just for the very uber nerd Wade idolized to give a gentle reminder in his last message that reality matters more than escapism in something that isnt real. Then there are the references. 80's and even some late 70's, there was so much crammed into every page that I, as a 90's child, could not hope to understand every one even with my love for older media. But that's okay. At no point did I feel lost. Instead I felt... A lot of Wade did I think. There is a reverence for the 80's. For Wade it was because the 80's came to represent his entire life, everything that his hopes, dreams, and fantasies were built on because Halliday was an 80's kid who built the OASIS and filled it with an easter egg hunt dripping in nostalgia. For me, it's similar. The 80's was the basis for everything I loved in the 90's. From the music to the fashion to gaming, and most of our greatest nerdy pop culture icons wouldnt have existed without the groundwork being laid in the late 70's and 80's. 90's kids are marked as some of the first with widespread access to computers and the internet at childhood, but what would that be without the creation of games like pacman or programming prodigies like Wozniak. It wasnt something I considered much before, but it definitely made me feel something to read a book all about the 80's. Not exactly nostalgia but kind of parallel to it. I feel like the 80's is often overshadowed by the 90's. So yeah... This book is awesome. I really enjoy the Steve Jobs/Wozniak duo of Ogden and Halliday. I think it showed off the positives of their very different characters very well. I loved to hate the Sixxers. I loved all of the High Five (I do wish we got more of the Daisho guys though. The part where Daito was actually murdered had me going "Oh shit" outloud) especially Aech whose name I really like. I did want a little bit of payback to Ir0k and I wanted to know more of what happened afterwards, but overall I'd say that by the end I was pretty happy. I did make the mistake of purchasing the movie and watching that though... It made me a mixture of sad, upset, and disappointed. You would think with Spielberg behind the wheel it would nail all of the right buttons but it... It just doesnt. Like... What was up with the bug eyed, elfish avatars? Except for Aech, most of the high five are just more idealized versions of themselves. Totally human with some of their less personally desired traits. But then like Aech... Wth... You took an average white dude with a cheshire smile and turned him into a hulking grey beast. Totally lessens the impact when discovering that he is a black woman by already having her avatar be to unrealistic. And why is Art3mis's avatar given a more athletic gymnast build? One of the body types that Wade states in the book is commonly used by most people, which is why her more curvy figure is unique and interesting. Her entire avatar is supposed to be more realistic to herself, something that captures his attention from the beginning. He can imagine it's what she looks like because she doesnt hide those features like most everyone does. The only thing she really changes is her birthmark. And do we really need to give her one of the best moments Wade has in the book just to make it seem like she has more power in the narrative? Art3mis is great because at no point does she really need Wade's help or rescue until the very end when the gate requires 3 people. She figures out the first key by herself first and is just unlucky enough to not be skilled at one particular game in a million. Even without Wade's suggestion at switching to play the other side, she would have won eventually. She was clever enough to realize that she could have two plays by waiting till midnight and was practicing in every spare moment. And even after she and Wade start seeing one another, it is Wade who is infatuated beyond reason and her who tries to keep her head in the game and feet grounded in reality. She finds and obtains the second key without any help at all. It was Art3mis who knows everything about Tempest, one of the final hurdles Wade needs to overcome, including the bug that gives you 40 extra lives when Wade starts with only one (and he eats through the extras fast). She doesnt need help to be an awesome female character. Wade has skills, I wont take that from him, but he gets by mostly on a lack of self preservation, paranoia, and luck ex machina. If it werent for him getting the second clue wrong and going to the entirely wrong planet, then wandering a different direction out and stumbling upon an arcade machine that nobody has ever found before (despite claiming that the world was picked over by every Gunter ever) and then utilizing his skills in pacman to win a mysterious quarter that just so happens to grant him an extra life after everyone else is vaporized in the final battle just outside the third gate... He never would have won. In that entire scenario his skill is utilized once. Arguably his skills only really come into play during the actual challenges for the keys and the gates. Every other moment actually focused on is mostly him stumbling around either as a paranoid mess or obsessive and depressed. Even with the first key, it's only by chance that during his Latin class he selectively hears the right words to set his brain into motion that takes him from Schoolhouse Rock to D&D to omg the key is hidden on the same planet that has every school! Granted he put in the time to compile all the experience and knowledge needed to connect those dots, but it was still luck that laid the dots out to be connected. I think I've ranted enough though. Originally this was going to most be, "Man, I loved this book!" and "Boy, I hated the movie..." but it got away from me as it usually does.
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