#Get the help in windows 10

[softquietsteadylove]

Hello love, how are you?

I know you have done a couple of this already, but may i ask for one where Thena is suffering because of her period and Gil is being a good boyfriend and taking care of her, pretty please.

Also thank you for all your works they are amazing 🩷🤍.

"Thena?"

He didn't get any response as he cracked the door open even further. Which, he wouldn't under any normal circumstance. But not only was this bathroom at an end of the school that no one ever used, he had gotten an inside tip.

"Babe, I know you're in here," he broached carefully. She wasn't in here for no reason.

"Get out."

There she was. But it didn't have her usual sharpness. Plenty of acerbic distaste, certainly, but it had a kind of morose undertone to it.

Gil pressed the door closed behind him, "come on, sweetheart. Sersi sent me."

There was a stall door between them, but he could hear the look of betrayal on her face. "That little-"

"Hey," he assuaged, pressing his palm to the painted steel. "She's at the mall with Dane--who I know damn well you wouldn't want knowing about this, too."

"Whom," she corrected him, although even that lacked her usual gusto. "And that doesn't mean you were the acceptable alternative."

"Thena," he attempted in a sweeter voice. He looked down at the feet under the stall's gap. He had some sympathy; he didn't think of it as nearly so big a deal, but there were probably few things more personal to a girl than this. "Is it bad?"

She took her sweet time answering him, and even when she did, it came out as a miserable little warble. "I can see it a little."

A little would be enough. Especially if she was wearing white jeans.

"Do you know when it started?" he asked, in he thought was a pretty calm and cool way--logical, as his girlfriend would most appreciate.

She sighed (heavily). "After, or maybe even during practice. I managed to slip away from the team."

Gil frowned. Wasn't it, like, girl code not to leave one of their own in this state of distress? "You didn't wanna ask one of them-"

"I wouldn't say I'm that close with any of them," Thena spat. He didn't think she had any real dislike for them, either. But then again, his girlfriend didn't excel at vulnerability, and maybe this was too much for her to even turn to her fellow woman.

She had texted Sersi in blind hopes that her sister was close at hand.

"Okay, here," Gil sighed, pulling up the bag he had with him. He looked up, and then down, "do these doors have hooks on the inside?"

"You think our school has the luxury of something like that?"

Okay, yeah, she had a point. He huffed, "well, I dunno, so you don't have to put your bag or purse or whatever on the floor?"

"I'm not saying it's not a good idea, Gil, but no, they don't have that."

She really was feeling like absolute shit.

"Okay," he gave in easily. He set the bag on the ground and used his foot to slide it in to her. She did snatch it away from his gaze eagerly. "Sersi didn't say which one you liked, so I got a little pack of both, and-"

"Thank you--out."

He sighed again, but there wasn't much more he could do for her at this point. "Okay, okay, but I'm gonna be right outside the door."

"You don't have to, Gil."

He made a face at the stall door again, not that she could appreciate it. "I'm not gonna leave you like this."

"You could, though."

He didn't even really have anything he could compare it to--what she must be feeling at the moment. And for someone who struggled to talk about her own discomfort like she did... "I'm sorry, Thena."

It was so, so quiet. But he caught it--the little sniffle. The telltale sign that her misery was not just mere anger or frustration.

"There's no need, Gil," she tried to dissuade him again, more genuinely and less angrily this time.

"Babe, you know I've eaten you out, right," he commented rather dryly, "it's not like I can get freaked out by your period."

"That's-!" For however strong it started, it gave way to her misery not a second later, finishing in a whimper, "different."

She was right, it was different. But he was trying! He just wanted to make her feel better.

"I'll be outside," he reaffirmed to her door, pressing himself to it as if she would know he was trying to comfort her like that. "And I'm not leaving without you, so don't even try it."

"Fine."

Gil pulled himself away from the door slowly. He lingered, in case she was going to change her mind and tell him to stay. But she made not even a sound, which wasn't even that easy to do with the crinkly plastic pharmacy bag he'd brought in.

He had even had the wherewithal to ask them to double bag it, for privacy reasons! He thought that was a pretty smart move, on his part. He had gotten both tampons and pads, which maybe was a little overkill. But he didn't want her to get stuck with one if she was more comfortable with the other. And he'd thrown in some pain meds and some chocolate, just for good measure.

Gil leaned against the wall outside the bathroom door. They were at the very end of the hall, by the door that led straight to the fields. Now that all the practices were over, no one would be down here until teachers left or cleaning staff came to do their thing.

His heart ached for his poor Thena, imagining her discovering the blood and too uncomfortable around her teammates to ask for help with it. He wasn't entirely sure where her ire with them started, or if it was for Thena reasons or something else. But the fact that she had slipped away from them to endure the misery for herself spoke to how solitary a creature she really was.

He stood up straight as the door opened and Thena emerged with the bag in the crook of her elbow. She was staring straight down at the ground. "How do you feel?"

"Humiliated."

Gil smiled down at the top of her head as she headbutted him right in the chest. He didn't mind. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her hair.

His first instinct was to say something to lighten her mood, maybe a joke or something. But he felt the faint but real little spots of warmth in the cotton of his t-shirt. He rubbed her back, "it's okay."

Thena had never, ever, cried in front of him. Not even when she told him about Ikaris laughing at her for being a virgin. He was still determined to kick that guy's ass one day.

She pulled away, rubbing her eyes to erase the last of her woes for herself. "Thank you."

"Of course," he frowned. Like he was doing some great thing by helping her out with this? It was pretty basic boyfriend stuff, he was pretty sure. "You know I mean that, right?"

"I know," she grumbled, and there was some of his Thena starting to emerge. She stepped away from him, her arms wrapped around herself.

"You want me to, uh," he tilted his head, "check if you're good?"

"I would rather die."

He chuckled; now that was his Thena.

"Just," she mumbled out, embarrassment written all over her. "Give me your sweater.

He did so in an instant, pulling his black hoodie off his shoulders and wrapping it around her. She extended her arms on her own, threading them through the sleeves smoothly. He made sure it sat on her shoulders and then gave the bottom a tug to verify that it did indeed cover well beyond her (cute) butt.

She looked at him as she started pushing the sleeves up.

"Lookin' good," he grinned at her with a wink.

She rolled her eyes at him, but the way she let him take her hand told him she was still feeling a little shitty about everything. "Take me home?"

"You got it," he assured as gently as he could. As much as he wanted to offer to take her out and do something fun, it wasn't about what he wanted. And if she wanted to wallow in her misery for the night he would ask and beg and plead to join her in that misery. "You know-"

Thena didn't even turn her head, just gave him one hell of a side eye.

But he smiled, braving on for the love of his young life. "As I keep reminding you, I am in this for real, babe. Like, real deal, long haul-"

"Yes, yes, you have said," she sighed, although he could see her starting to smile again.

He gave her hand a squeeze. "It's not like I was never gonna be around for...something like this."

It showed on Thena's face just how much she appreciated his delicacy with it, even after the fact.

"It's not a big deal--not to me, at least," he shrugged, hoping he was saying the right thing. All he could hope was that she was really hearing him and getting how much he meant it. "And if you ever needed help like this again--just call me, okay? Text me, email me if you have to."

She laughed at the suggestion, but all he needed to see was that cute smile, showing off her teeth. She had a cute laugh, too.

"I'll be there, Thena," he finished, pouring his heart into it. "In a heartbeat."

"I know, Gil." Well, that was the end of that. It wasn't up for discussion anymore, and he would be pushing his luck to try and continue it.

But he happily let her release his hand, only so she could wrap her arms around his one and press her face into his t-shirt sleeve. "You gonna let me carry that bag for you?"

"No."

"Okay, fine," he chuckled. Whatever she wanted--needed. Anything at all. He looked down at her as they continued down the hall, taking their good, sweet time. "Thena, I-"

"I hope," she prefaced, giving his arm an extra squeeze, "you're not about to say something I wouldn't want to hear on arguably the worst day of my life."

Okay, so not the time for an I-Love-You. Their first, he had to keep reminding himself, no matter how many times he had already imagined saying it to her.

"Yeah, no, totally," he mumbled, resigning himself to keeping it in again.

"Just-" Thena pressed herself even closer to him. "Just wait a little longer."

He looked down at the top of her head again (since she wasn't up to looking at him yet, apparently). But she didn't have to ask; he was going to wait for her until the day he died, he had already decided.

It wasn't even really up to him. Somewhere along the way, he had fallen beyond the point of no return, and he would do anything - literally anything! - for her.

Thena let him kiss her forehead as they continued shuffling along, the hum of the fluorescents and the crinkling of the bag offering a soundtrack to their quiet moment.

"Y'know, I heard baths are good for cramps. We could-"

"Not a chance, Gil."

[elenadoeslife]

🔥/🚿?

[krissiefox]

How to get rid of online search recommendations under Windows 10 taskbar search

Finally learned from a helpful comment on a tumblr post how to get rid of that stupid internet search shit that pops up when you click the magnifying glass on your taskbar in Windows 10!

Before you do this I recommend making a restore point in case you mess anything up.

Then go into regedit, find HKEY_CURRENT_USER\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Search and make a new DWORD (32bit) called BingSearchEnabled, and make sure value=0

Thanks to dreaxmers for this info!

[echomortis]

I was thinking ohhh maybe I can go through my art and archive the shit I don’t have saved (so like anything prior to 2019) but no my laptop decided to be like “oops we couldn’t sign into your account” and nothing I’ve been trying is fixing it (dragging hands down my face) (you can’t tell but I’m screaming internally right now)

[grossillygirl]

ive told like 5 men that i love alone BECAUSE I DONT THINK THINGS THROUGH IN MY HEAD AND NOW IM PARANOID IM GOING TO LIKE DIE

[misanthropicgardener]

whenever i think about chara’s early days after falling with the dreemurrs i feel like i am going to throw myself off a cliff forever and ever

[wonderxshows]

mornign pollux fans

[chelseasdagger]

i just saw the most beautiful act of love. gonna be sappy in the tags real quick :’)

[bestnoncannonship]

With JoAnne Fabrics going out of business I feel it is my duty as a cosplayer, historical costumer, and general sewing gremlin to help teach y'all how not to be reliant on evil overpriced mediocre big box stores for fabric and cosplay supply, cause if I catch y'all going into Homophobia Lobby to get cosplay fabrics imma have to start throwing hands. And frankly you guys all deserve better.

- Find a neighborhood full of brown people. Probably a slightly poorer neighborhod. I know, I know, but they will have small independent fabric stores. Selection in each may vary. Hispanic and Caribbean areas will give you prints that EAT. Muslim areas will give you fabrics with amazing drapery. Indian and Southeast Asian areas will give you beading that would make the House of Worth wet with envy. (Try to avoid oldwhitelady quilting stores unless you are a knitter or are specifically trying to cosplay Kirsten Larson.) (Also ask while you're there for lunch/dinner spot recommendations. Your fabric store guy usually has a buddy with a joint nextdoor with the best *insert relevant ethnic food here* you'll ever put in your mouth.)

- DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OWNER OF SAID STORE. This I cannot stress enough. Abdul, my fabric guy, can and will get me whatever I want cause he knows me, knows I bring in other young people, and knows I will be back every month for more. Indie fabric stores tend to have older clients. They are anxious to see faces under 60. Just chat with whoever is in there about the kind of stuff you want and need and they will help you. This also frequently leads to discounts. I have not paid listed price for fabric in years and just walked out of Abdul's with 7~ yards of gorgeous teal satin for 10 bucks. Not a yard. Total.

- Do not be afraid of mess. The best shit comes from stores that look like a hurricane went through them. Don't try to understand the organization. (One day, 4 years into your relationship with the store, suddenly the fabric gods will reveal the knowledge to you.) Again, talk to whoever is in there about your project. They'll help.

- Give up on one stop shopping. Get your crafting supplies elsewhere. Like a small independent hardware store. There's usually an old guy in there that reminds you of an uncle who will also help you.

-Worbla and whatever other Cosplay Specific Material you're using is a fatphobic material straight from Satan's hot taint, you do not need it, and any old hardware/tractor supply dad will help you find better, more durable armor/weapon/detailing material. Don't snub your nose at paper mache and plaster of paris. Venetian Mask makers have been using it for years. Balsa wood is also your friend. Hardware store Uncles will teach you to work with both.

- Elderly people are your bffs. If you see an old person TALK TO THEM. They know how to do all kinds of shit. I know there's a hesitation around old people because of the political climate and a fear that they may be homo/trans/whatever-phobic, but hey....minds are changed by making friends. My elderly Muslim fabric supplier is an Our Flag Means Death fan because of me gushing about the teal I needed for Stede Bonnet. He wishes me happy pride now. He put bolt of rainbow in the window in June and kept it up all summer. And he'd never had a thought about queers before me.

- Don't feel limited to Craft and Fabric stores. Hardware stores are cool. They stock outdoor fabrics and umbrella and furniture covers that are very durable....my first cosplay was made out of patio furniture covers. Also upholstery stores and upholsterers have velvets and damasks and faux leather and real leather and all sorts of rich textures. Most of them will part with a few yards pretty cheap. Second hand sheets and bedspreads and curtains also make some really cool garments. A significant amount of my ren fair garb started as household goods.

- If you are forced to order fabric online, please for the love of all that is holy DO NOT BUY FROM MOOD or any other famous store. You're paying for their branding and their place on certain reality shows I will not mention. Indie is always cheaper for the quality and usually not abusing their workers.

- If the fabric/hobby/hardware/upholstery/etc store you develop a relationship with is inconveniently far from you, see if said owner is willing to take your order via phone and send it to you. You'd be surprised how accommodating people in the crafting and sewing world can be.

It all really comes down to having to form a community. I know finding multiple small stores is a lot less convenient than Joannes. But forming a relationship with a local supplier will, in the long run, yield you much better results AND put money and good back into a community near you.

(And if you're in the NYC area DM me and I'll put you in contact with Abdul. He's the absolute best and I'd do anything to help him and his business grow!!!)

[pastelaspirations]

EEEEEEEY, YOU FIGURED IT OUT. THANK YA, TUMBLR PERSON FOR SOLVING THE ISSUE

YOU. have YOU been having weird audio issues with windows 11? where if youre on a call itll cut out and distort any audio not in the current application?? i have. i have and ifigured out why. it is one setting. ONE setting. go to your sound settings. go to your output device. click on your output device. you will see advanced settings.

see this setting?

turn it off.

it is turned on by default. turn it off. immediately the issue is Gone.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

"I'm not hypomanic," I say at midnight after spending a day downing a huge coffee, energy drink, and soda, on the first day in months I got to experience sunshine

[sl33py-g4m3r]

I feel like the hugest idiot~~

I feel like the stupidest person alive simply cause I can't make up my mind on things...

and somehow in my toying around with my computer, my main hard drive that I have the OS installed on, and my data drive somehow switched ??

the OS hard drive was dev/sda1 and the data drive was dev/sdb1... but in my current fore of "lets install windows again to play games, then immediately the next day say screw it and go back to linux" they swapped places somehow??

now I have the OS on dev/sdb1 and boot to it from there.... so what happened? I don't touch the other drive at all when I'm wiping and messing with stuff so my data is intact.... so ??? how???

also for some reason linux mint debian edition 6 doesn't boot or install with secure boot on. not at all..... why? idk.....

yet straight up debian (tho I'm using debian 12 now instead of 11 and idk if that would have anything to do with LMDE but idk which version of debian it was based on....) cause i forgot if debian 11 also had that problem or not....

and don't want to poke around anymore and find out....

stuck in a cycle of "I want to game so reinstall windows and all games I have, then immediately get bored and reinstall linux again after a day. cause that was literally this time. so I think I should just stay with linux and accept that I'm not ever going to play any of my steam games.

but ye why did my hard drives swap on me? why does debian 12 install perfectly fine with secure boot enabled? cause I didn't change anything in the BIOS and still had fast boot and secure boot turned on....

I always also just default to xfce and idk why.... i tried messing around with KDE and don't like it. cinnamon was nice but boring, hadn't tried GNOME yet again after a decade, lxqt idk if I like or not. it would save ram and space tho but again I'm on a gaming pc so that's not a problem....

and once again my function keys sort of don't work under windows but DO under linux~~~~ and as always idk why.....

WE BACK TO LINUX BABY~~~~~~ AND I HOPE I'M SMART ENOUGH TO STAY HERE~~~~~

also for some reason everything in my data hard drive has a little lock next to it but you have to input a password to even access it so maybe it's that?

I FEEL LIKE I'M RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES LIKE AN IDIOT~~~

STAY WITH LINUX YOU FOOL~~~~~

but ye long story short saw a game about digging a hole and bought it, tried it for like a minute, it wanted to do something w windows that I didn't trust so I uninstalled it, and got a refund cause "it doesn't work on my pc" and then tonight just nuked windows after just nuking linux just to play a game about digging a hole......

lol

but ye to make the questions easier to find;

why did my hard drives switch like that? tho nothing broke and everything still works so that's good.

which desktop environment is better? course that's probably subjective and I gravitate towards xfce

the running around in circles is me not being able to make up my mind about stuff but I should just stick w linux cause windows 10 is reaching end of life and windows 11 is spyware..... imo anyway...

one more question that hopefully I can figure out~~~ how do I install updates on Debian? linux mint has an update installer... or maybe that's a cinnamon desktop environment thing? is it "apt-get update"

right now I know next to nothing about the terminal aside from ls which lists which directory you're in.... and "whoami" which tells you whos logged in.....

got a feeling I'll get "read the manual" tho... hopefully people aren't that hostile and mean......

all of this for wanting to play the silly hole game and then not playing the silly hole game.....

T_T;;;

[c0nnverse]

i just finished building a PC and i will let you all know that the windows 11 installation process is fucking horrible

[blackpearlblast]

you can give seven days of internet connection to someone in gaza for just 6 USD

gazaesims.com is a website dedicated to helping people donate esims for people in gaza. (for the ultimate guide to donating an esim, see http://tinyurl.com/gaza-esims) there are multiple options for where to purchase an esim to donate, for the price i listed you want to use nomad esims. you can get a $3 discount by using someone's referral code from the notes of this post. it also will give the referrer credit to buy more esims! (you can only use a referral code on your first purchase) @/fairuzfan also a tag for esim referral codes here, some of which are nomad. BACKPACKNOMAD is another code to get $3 off your first purchase, it's been working for some people but not others so try out a referral code instead if you can't get it to work. also it took over an hour for the email with my information to come through so don't panic if it doesn't show up right away. (logging back into your nomad account seems to have helped some people get their emails to send!) NOMADCNG is a code for 5% off any middle east region nomad esims from connecting gaza. it can be used on any purchase, not just your first but is generally going to give less off than the first-purchase only codes, so use those first. it can be used in combination with nomad points. AWESOME NEW CODE: nomad esim discount code for 75% off any plan, NOMADCS25 do not know how long it lasts but this is an amazing deal esp. since they are really low on esims right now! (nomad promo codes do not work on plans that are already on sale, unlimited plans, and plans under $5)

weekly tuesdays only code on nomad web, PST timezone! it gives 10% off plans 10gb and above. NOMADTUE

for the month of may, first time referrals give 25% off for a person's first purchase and 25% off the referrer's next purchase! it's a great time to use someone's referral code from the notes if you are a first time buyer.

troubleshooting hint 1: if you are trying to pay through paypal, make sure you have pop-ups enabled! otherwise the payment window won't be able to appear.

troubleshooting hint 2: if you are trying to purchase an esim using the provider's app, it may block you from purchasing if your phone does not fit the requirements to install and use their esims. use their website in your browser instead and this problem should go away.

edit as of 5/21/24: holafly (israel and egypt), nomad (regional middle east), simly (palestine and middle east), mogo (israel), and airalo (discover) are currently in the highest in demand. here is a purchase guide i made that covers all of the esim platforms, including these three platforms. if it has been more than 3 weeks since you initially sent your esim and your esim has not been activated, you can reforward your original email with the expiration date in the subject line. you can see gothhabiba’s guide for how to tell if your esims have been activated. if your esim has expired without use, you can contact customer service to renew or replace it.

[hballegro]

I had a dream where there was a murder mystery and some of the suspects were Obama, the couple from Ruthless People, Scott Bakula [like, present day, not QL era], three people from my middle school, and like half my immediate family, and upon getting an ending I didn't like [Scott was the killer] I woke up, remembered 90% of the dream including a final chase sequence, decided that ending SUCKED and I didn't wanna be awake yet, fell RIGHT back asleep, and returned right back to my fuckin dream and got a different ending that I now cannot remember [it wasn't any of the people I listed, but I also can't really remember who it was? It was a guy, and he was affluent, but I dont remember rip]

You WISH you were me

[tinyorangepotato]

As much as I hate to say it, I wish I didn't have to take care of my aunt. I'm too much of a pussy to stop and I've been going over to her house for something like 7 years now. She used to pick me up every Thursday (maybe more I can't remember), I would go and clean her house or car or whatever, and then we go out to eat and I go home. Then she got COPD and 2020 hit and she gave me her car since she wasn't driving anymore.

And now I can't just stop going over. Every Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday I drive 30 minutes from work or an hour from home to go and clean up her mess and take care of her. After working 7-3 Tuesday and Friday, I go and do stuff there till usually 6 or 7 and don't get home till 8 most times. Sunday is an hour drive both ways and from 11am to usually 5 or 6pm I'm there. Not including the drive back.

And it's just evolved from what I'm doing. She needs help changing herself , and wiping after using the bathroom and can't shower, and alnost always has peed through he "underwear" ( adult diapers but that's what she calls them) along with the 3 lays of pads she puts in the. And her pants. Her house reeks of urine and I dont know how to change it.

She went to the hospital in October from not being able to even get up to use the bathroom and finally called the ambulance even though she had been getting worse for the previous months. Turns out she had a blood clot in her legs. Got admitted to a physical rehab and was out of the house for a month and a half.

Her sister that lives above her freaked about how her house was and went through and threw a bunch of stuff away and cleaned but also complained to her so it got shoved onto me. I was slacking but its hard to scrub walls when every 5 minutes she yells for me to come do something stupid. On top of only getting 20 dollars each day I go over. Yes a free car that I only pay for gas and half of what repairs are is a great deal, but not after 4 years.

Now I'm cleaning more on a schedule and she's doing better after being home but ugh. I'm so tired I can't do anything after I get home, even in days I don't go over. It turns my 8 hour days into 12+ along with just dealing with her being somewhat demanding, and difficult, and "just telling the truth" about how she feels about people. Shes back in the rehab after falling and Ita so much better but not. She just gets more crotchety when it's not just me her and her sister she sees. And I still have to take her to the bathroom and stuff when I visit her. Like there's not workers for that. (There is but also the place is horrible about staffing so she'll ring for help and an hour will pass without one person even checking in her. But she's also a selfish person and thinks the world revolves around her soemtimes. Legit told me she rung the button, guy came and said "why your ringing my button?(Probably light hearted but idk) And she responds with "first of all, it's the patients button " and somewhere in the convo gets in "just wanted to make sure you're doing your job")

And when she is home, I clean and just spend around 2 hours sitting there next to her until she tells me I'm free to go home. If I don't wait she'll make a 'joke' like "wow just want to leave huh?!🤨" Or whatever. Even when I seem a little too eager toget up and go after she says I can she makes those remarks. I usually make a little conversation and that turns into something else so I leave around 10 to 20 minutes after she said I can.

It's so exhausting, not even the cleaning or dealing with her, but also the drive. Her sisters have now seen how she is (sorta) and what I do every other day since she's been in rehab and theyve all said they're greatful for me and will help if I just ask. Which is great to know now but I know when she first got diagnosed her sisters said to her "we will not help you out like we did with mom" (which is what I'm doing with her now)

She has upped my pay to 100 a week (which yippe a 13 dollar increase for 5 hours of work) and has brought it up like it's a crazy amount and she's doing me a favor by paying me so much. On expecially harsh days or weeks she does give me more. If I have to change her after she diarrheas all over, I get another 20. Or have to give her a sponge bath even though she now has someone come every Monday to do it.

But God it's so much time and energy and I'm so tired from it. But, I keep saying this but it doesn't really seem true, she's a dying old lady with maybe a few years left so I can't just quit it because I'm the only one who will do what I'm doing. My bf gets so much time after work to go home and play games or build a table to even hang out at a park, but I go there and get home ready to eat and then sleep. And on days I don't go, I don't have motivation to do anything most days so I don't start projects or anything really. I get one day off a week and what am I supposed to do with that. Yeah yeah I get 2 days off my job, but on Sundays I go to her place and thats 11-6 I'm out the house and again, just burnt out when I return.

I just don't know. Everyone says "oh you're so nice doing that for your aunt (they don't know the half of what I do)". And my bf and his mom, and now sister that works in hospitality, say I'm doing too much and she's walking over me. Which she is. I know. But I don't know how to change it. She shit herself in my off day and wants me to come down to change her? Of course, I would feel horrible to let her sit there for another 24 hours minimum in shit. Like I feel too bad to say no because I mean I can and it's not that bad and if I don't, who will. Her sister that lives above her speaks her mind about anything and everything and will help if necessary, but will also get into screaming matches and just has her suffer/do things a harder way rather than make things easier. My aunt will also just not ask her for help unless an emergency because of this. I had to drive there on my off day because she couldn't find her pills or her glasses. I was annoyed, called her when I got off work to see if she needed me still, texted, and then drove down. Turns out her bathing nurse was there earlier and found those items. And her occupational therapist was there when I got there. So no, I did not need to drive down to find it because they already were found. I didn't have to waste nearly an hour of extra driving, gas, and milage on my leased car (which I can only put 30k in 3 years and I drive 40 miles not matter what Monday through Friday for work).

I dotn know what this is. I just wanted to get this typed up and my thoughts out and complain. Because God knows I do a lot of there recently and my bf doesn't know what to say and he's heard all this before and I dotn have anyone else to complain to really. And I know I should just say I'm done but I can't in good conscious. Literally when she was in the hospital the first time (last month) and I said I was getting myself a new car (so I didn't have to rely on her car that's months away from breaking down probably) she said "our deal still stands even then. Your still gonna come and help me right?"

And ugh. I guess. I can't just abandon you but you're making it seems temping. Again, just the first time she was in rehab (last month) and her sister freaking out and making me feel extra bad about not keeping up with keeping her home spotless, it was a super low point and I had breakdowns everyday either before or after or during going there and cleaning and then going to the rehab and visiting her. I started rushing to get myself a car independent of hers. I also never transfered her car into my name and so I got a clean title and stuck it in the glove box. I was so ready that once I got my car and she pushed me a little too far, of just leaving her the car key and having my bf pick me up and I never come back to her. Then she went home before I got the car and was back to her normal sometimes bearable self and the cleaning was done mainly and not as stressful and it's better. Mainly.

Again I don't know. Just wanted to type and make a rant. I'm so tired of doing things and it's not even stuff that makes me happy or even makes me more money. 100 a week is better than 0 but for the toll it takes and time, it doesn't do anything. I could be making shit to sell and make more (probably) or get a part time second job without having to worry about "I can't do Tuesday Friday or Sunday. And I have to be able to rush out if she calls and needs me" (also I would not have the energy for another job on top of these, technically, 2 jobs I already have)

Anyways. 12:30 and I got work in the morning. So good night. I'll stop my stream of consciousness.