#HOLY FUCKING GUACAMOLE

[drspleenmeister]

I’m sorry (not sorry in the slightest) but the tack room?! Sweaty faces?! Alex YANKING down Henry’s Trous?!

[yushiroll]

Armin headcanons (nsfw)

Armin x fem!reader

cw: short mentions of 'slut' and 'cum dump'

An: Okay this is really all over the place LOL, lowkey wrote this with one hand and a single braincell. Nerdmin has been occupying my mind EVER SINCE HIS FIRST APPEARANCE, so glad he's getting the love he deserves. Also, please note that armin is in college in this post and in every future post I make of him.

- This boy is a certified professional pussy eater.

- As much as he loves getting his dick sucked by you, he loves giving you pleasure more than receiving it.

- Hearing you moan for him, feeling you quiver under his touch, his tongue–He gets so much pleasure from it.

- One time while eating you out, he got so worked up that he came in his pants while lapping up your pussy.

- Now when I tell you he watched videos and read quora posts on how to properly eat someone out for the first time... my boy put his high gpa and research skills into good use.

- Will. Get. Pussy drunk.

- Starts with kissing your thighs first, leaving so much hickeys on them that you aren't able to wear shorts for the next few days.

- Then he goes to your inner thighs, giving them a few kisses before finally going right up on your already wet cunt.

- Armin isn't the type to tease, but in bed? Oh, you're in for a treat.

- "Gosh, so wet for me already huh?"

- He takes his finger and traces along your lubricated slit, playing with your juices and licking it off while looking at you.

- "You're just so delicious."

- He then proceeds to go to town on you, making you cum at LEAST 2 times within 15 minutes.

- Absolutely loves when his glasses fog up while eating you out. Leaks so much precum when it happens

- "Mm..h...you close? Come on...cum for me angel. Cum on my tongue...."

- He is a guy with breeder balls. When I tell you he shoots ribbons of cum, literally painting your insides white when he creampies you

- He gets so riled up seeing you take him so good, considering that he has a monster of a dick. Talk about sleeper build, amirite?

- Favorite position to do with you is missionary–He loves seeing his cock go in and out of your swollen pussy, especially taking in the view of your face while he's plowing you.

- Kisses your tears away as he's going deeper inside you, all the while fondling with your tits.

- Nibbles your ears while he fucks you. He finds you squirming and moaning more when he does that.

- Despite how dominant he often is in bed, he moans like such a bitch.

- "M..o-oh...mmmah... f-fuck..yeah.. takin'...it...s' goo..good... for me baby..."

- "Take it take it take it...fuck... 'm gonna cum baby... s-..so close.."

- Armin having long fingers means having eye-rolling sessions of him just fingering you.

- He knows your anatomy so well–curls his fingers to penetrate that sweet, sensitive spot of yours. When he hears you moan louder, thats his cue to go faster and lick your throbbing clit.

- He has fantasies of eating you out during your online meetings, jerking off to the thought of it even.

- It had only been a thought in armin's mind until now.

- You decided to joke around, telling him that he should totally try eating you out during an online meeting. He wasn't joking around. You're lucky you aren't fired yet.

- Loves getting your dirty panties and using them to jerk off.

- Absolutely loves cockwarming. Like, he ADORES it. Your warm pussy taking him entirely and trying to be steady on his cock while you do work or play games.

- Grinds his dick every once in a while to get a reaction from you, grins and says "C'mon, we both know you like it."

- Has you begging like a bitch during these cockwarming sessions, loves it when you beg for him to thrust every once in a while.

- He's such a fucking freak that you never actually expected him to be into demeaning nicknames in bed.

- "I'll only call you those names when you tell me to."

- Then he proceeds to call you his 'fucking slut' the entire night, whispering all the degrading shit that gets you off in your ear.

- "M...mmh yeah? C'mon slut let me hear you..."

- "Like it like that huh? C-course you do...my little cum dump."

- He is so, so good at aftercare. Literally pampers you after every session, he cleans you up and makes you food.

- Best cuddles ever! He sprinkles little kisses all over your body,

- "You really are perfection incarnate, angel."

[obsessedoverwater]

Sometimes the doomed old man toxic yoai gets so bad you just have to start writing about fucking revenge guac to get over the pain.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 333

I once more believe Battinson Batman needs to be given a child. Or multiple. Multiple children. I am also once more rotating Ghosts Have Wings Au. 

So Batman, still early in his whole vigilante career ends up busting a shipment, nothing too surprising there. Pretty usual honestly. Except for what was in one of the crates already open. Because it looks like some sort of gemstones but… perfectly spherical. Strange. Suspicious. 

But it’s also late, er, early in the morning, and the GCPD is notoriously corrupt, so like, he’s not going to just leave the weird gemstones, each about the size of a plum or so. (Dear Gotham he’s apparently hungry, and might inwardly vow to never let anyone realize what his tired mind decided to use as measurement) 

So he, unknowingly spurred on by more than just a slight bit of ecto contamination, takes the strange spheres back home. Just puts them in his pockets and heads back to the manor that they moved back into after the whole Riddler mess. (He even found a cool cave! With a bunch of terrifying bats, but they made a glass separator! For safety!) 

But in Bruce’s defense of forgetting about them, he’s more than a little tired and hungry and just wants to sleep for a bit, y’know? So maybe he forgets about the gems as he falls asleep in the chair in the cave (Alfred was not pleased!) until he starts digging around for them. Erm. Did they fall out somewhere?? There’s no holes in his belt pockets… 

And maybe these sort of things shouldn’t slip his mind, the spheres had felt Weird with a capital W, but he gets forced to a circus and there’s an… accident. So maybe he pushed it away as not important because there’s now an angry grieving eight-year old living with him and he’s panickedly reading any and all sort of parenting books he can get a hold of because he has no clue what he’s doing. 

Yeah, maybe his back is itching like crazy no matter what he tries, and maybe he threw up the other day, but it’s fine. This is fine. 

….

Oh dear Gotham those are feathers, this is not fine- ALFREEED!

[m3rlinst3in]

tried greyscale coloring for the 50 millionth time and it uh… it did something… i cannot inform you whether it’s something good or bad…

any hoots, an aphmau video spawned on my youtube page and i just had to draw her in it cuz guys, the video was low key fire.

AND I SWEAR MY HANDWRITING ISNT THAT BAD OK

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman and Robin: Year One

Gotta love how soft Batman looks and sounds. He cares about Harvey, it really shows, he doesn't want to hurt him. But also, the "I'm worried about you. Only one file? Is everything alright?" is sooooo funny.

[bblueberrorr-exe]

happy let papyrus say fuck day!!

he ate yoyleberries that's why his ass is metal

[webism]

this idea of ino with a knife has been rattling around in my brain….

like him trailing the dull edge of the point down the front of your stomach and stopping to go “stab stab stab” gently poking you with it but not hard enough to break the skin but like… in a malicious way like “I could do it but I won’t and I like how scared it makes you”

SORRY

oh. oh yeah this is going in.

[dinosaurwithablog]

Back to back to back homers!! First time in Yankees history that players have hit lead off home runs with the first pitch!!

Bellinger... home run

Goldschmit... home run

Judge... not to be outdone, hits a home run into the cheap seats!! Look at the big goofy grin 😁 I have the same look in my face!!

Needless to say, Nestor Cortés does not look happy

Poor Nestor...

LET'S GO YANKEES!!!!!

[royalthedemigod]

what that Tennessee self shipper doesn't know is that in my selfship fanfic of me and Ernest, Tennessee asks for weed. Literally the only headcannon I have for that mf.

[jopzer]

just noticed jamie flinches before the wembley hug what if i exploded into a million billion pieces.

[brokentvs]

I mute my mic when I go to brush my teeth and I always ask my girlfriend to talk right? Tell me why this girl starts talking bout “holy moly guacamole the sun is gonna explode is 6 billion years.” This woman is clearly my soulmate.

[079enjoyer]

Holy shit

[tireddovahkiin]

*choking sounds and coughing*

HANAMI???? HANAMI LOOK AT- LOOK AT- HUFF HANAMI LOOK AT HANAMI--

GAGFSAEHRGSFGFRGWGAGGRAGAEGEGEGAEGGEGRHEGWFGHFHGFSDHFGHDFGFSRFATRDSTRDAGADJGGUSDF

IMMA SAY THIS. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING HANAMI HUMAN DESIGN NEVER DISSAPOINTS. FUCKING NEVER. EVERY SINGLE ONE IS SO--

IM GONNA- IM- OKAY GUYS BRB MY BRAIN IS SHORT-CIRCUITING- *DIES* (Hanami save me) /POS

(I took five minute break. Im not kidding. I went to my bed, and layed and tried to cool down my face and heart💀)

Yes, let's play Fortnite Roleplay Pokemon toilet together with Mahito Hanami it seems fun-

Humanizations of these guys or something hello

The art is kinda iffy in the first one but that's bc it was 1am🥶

[bblueberrorr-exe]

yuo guys are so done im gonna start PREACHING after today 😇😇😇🥰🥰🥰😎😎😎😎

[morganbritton132]

I bet Bruce was fighting for his life the first time Dick swears. The man is so used to ‘leaping lizards’ and ‘holy guacamole, Batman’ and then one day, Batman is crouched down next to a dead body covered in some strange slime. He beacons Robin over like, “Robin, come here. What do you think of this?”

Robin comes over, squats down next to him. He tilts his head, puts his hand on his chin in thought, and then says in his plain nine year old voice, “Batman, what the fuck is this?”