#I LOVE GOING TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP

[subsequentibis]

i got a new phone that has a stylus and this is my personality now. im out here businessmanlarping. tapping away on my pda. notesmaxxing. living my best life

[stephofromcabin12]

🤫

Ahem:

Dionysus hid in his own home during that time between HOO and TOA 5 like the dad in arrested development until Zeus spotted him out and about and sent him back.

Hera has a swear jar on Olympus. It’s most frequently brought out during game nights.

Hermes has the loudest, most obnoxious ring tones. Several because he has multiple phones.

Ares is directly responsible for reddit’s existence. He’s not aware of this. He’s also banned from 9897996 subreddits. He’s started double that amount.

Apollo’s main strategy of getting out of conversations with people is to pretend to text and go “uuuhhhhmm” *taptaptaptaptaptap* “weeeellll, hmmm, uuhhhhhhhh” *taptaptaptaptap* until they get angry and give up trying to talk to him.

You’re most likely to run into Hermes, Apollo and Artemis at a gym (Artemis is just there looking for potential hunters)

You might assume Ares would be there but he’s not. He’s casually dropping into arenas and hotels that athletes stay at while playing for tournaments. And sports bars. So many sports bars.

He used to go to the olympic village but he got too distracted by the games to even bother picking up potential mortal partners.

Apollo had a plant phase (“nymphs dig plants, right?”) didn’t last long.

Artemis attracts cats and does not understand why, considering she’s hanging out with wolves all the time.

Hecate likes to send her unclaimed kids those tarot “this was meant to find you” readings everywhere with specific hints that she’s connected to them, to see if they figure it out. She also will only communicate through scrying and magic rather than IM’s, and gets very offended when her children don’t pick up on it at all. Her version of “cause you’re always on that damn phone��� is “You never use your intuition!!”

Hypnos has shown up in his kids’ dreams multiple times, in various forms. Hey, gotta take advantage of unseen ways of checking in on ‘em right. He’ll visit other’s children if he’s asked nicely and you catch him in the right mood. More gods have asked him to do this than they’d care to admit.

Dionysus can identify the year and grape of a wine just by hearing it poured.

Aphrodite is unapologetically on all dating apps, and is unafraid to message any of her kids she sees, as well as demigods in general, just to say hi. She’ll sometimes say something ominous as if she’s seen their interests and is making ~plans~ for their future in love. She knows they’re mortified, that’s why she does it.

I see trash canon Ares and raise you: Coach dad Ares. Your classic coach dad. He’s arguing with their actual football coaches, he’s grilling after a victory, he’s putting kids in headlocks and ruffling their hair. His leather jacket may or not crinkle due to the Werther’s originals he carries around. He does the reach around snack hand on the solstices during the presentations.

At those solstice meetings every year, the gods have a nymph secretary to whisper their kids’ names in their ear in case they forget.

Ares has had the same dog for 4000 years. Its unclear if its really the same dog he’s kept around or if he simply gets the same kind of dog every-time the last one dies and names it the same name. It’s called Thyella or “Ty” for short.

This is just like— headcanon but I like the idea of the gods not only being distant and emotionally unavailable bc they’re bad parents but also bc they’re just: extremely confused by humans. Especially modern humans. They can’t keep up. They’re perplexed at the speed at which their demigod kids pick up, and leave behind, things, phrases and trends. And they hate not knowing things, and even worse, not being considered cool by their kids (where’s the honor in that?). So they feign disinterest but the easiest way to piss them off is to make something up and go “oh you don’t know about that? Mom/Dad that’s ancient news!” When they ask what you’re talking about.

Similarly my favorite headcanon for them is that they’re deities, as in, they’re not human. They’re unquantifiable. They’re at times almost creature like? Like, they’re confusing and everchanging and Other. There’s something distinctly Not Human about them, even when they’re trying to come across as one. A mortal might find it alluring, a demigod will probably find it slightly disturbing, especially when they occasionally catch a glimpse of it in themselves.

Demigods, because of this, also come across as almost not human to others at times. There’s something off about them. Its not the ADHD, it’s not the way they never use technology. Its the way they nod sagely in class when discussing ancient myths, like they’ve met the gods themselves or quietly add “psh, yeah they wish” under their breath while watching a documentary.

Its in the way their eyes look purple if the sun hits them just right, before you blink and they go back to their usual blue.

Their reflexes that, despite being so clumsy, are freakishly good under pressure. The sheer strength they have when you know they’ve never set foot in a gym.

Its the way you remember that one time in the second grade when your buddy took a baseball to the face and still to this day you could’ve sworn there was the tiniest swirling of something shimmery reflecting in the blood dripping down over their fingers; microscopic golden specks reflecting in the fluorescent lights on the way to the nurse’s office. You never mentioned it at the time, much too caught up in the drama and excuse to leave P.E early. But you still look at them now, years later, stretching out in the sun like a plant; trying to absorb as much light as possible, scars that they never mention and never acknowledge crossing their abdomen and arms, and you wonder what that’s all about.

In the case of adults, mortals don’t necessarily know that they’re speaking to a god, but there’s something about them that just— feels off. Not bad, not always. Just something in the way they know things that doesn’t make sense. How they seem to appear out of nowhere, appearance always perfect without them even trying. They don’t sweat. They don’t blush. They never run out of things to say. They never lose their way. People seem to just bend around them, like the time the restaurant they took you to was closed early and after a short conversation, the chef reappeared to open the kitchen just for you. Or the time they scored tickets to that sold out concert, or wrestling match. It’s so odd looking back on that fling all those years ago and realising that you dont think they ever showered. Or shaved. Not that it showed on them but that’s still odd right? Or the time they chatted with someone on the phone in a language you didn’t recognize.

“What was that language?” An innocent question, this was before you thought to be suspicious of these things.

“Greek.” They answer, not meeting your eyes.

“I didn’t know your family is from Greece,” you reply, trying to think if they ever mentioned it.

“Oh, we go way back,” they say, changing the subject before you think to ask more questions.

[dbphantom]

tell me about 'dude im in way too deep' and 'alkali' ouo

i would love to!

'alkali' is my lore planning document for ffxv h2o au, so it's about 5 pages of me rambling about the ancient history of the ffxv universe but with h2o au stuff added in. just what happens hundreds of years before the main story begins with the gods and the set-up for the lore within the fic, but also including stuff that happens during episode ardyn so i could get a better feel for it.

and 'dude im in way too deep' is my document for Masked (a genrex fic) so here's a section from chapter 9 which i kind of cringe at re-reading bc it's been 2 years but shhhhh

Mia snagged her coffee and took shelter under the pitiful plastic table. From there, she had a clear view of the windows and beyond them, of the road and buildings at the front of the school. At first, all she had to go off of was the sound of smashing glass, crunching metal, and clattering rubble- and the quakes shifting the tile beneath her feet. Then something landed right in front of the windows leading outside. It obscured her view of the outside, illuminated only by the flickering fluorescent lights above her. Students began screaming all around her, shouts worming through the bricks and echoing down the halls.  It was skin. She realized this suddenly, belatedly, as it began to undulate and warp and tear. A handful of eyes appeared, staring straight down at her, unblinking. Teeth began to rip and tear their way out of the visible mound of flesh soon after- the taut, sweaty surface giving way to dozens of moving mouths. Some were gnashing their newfound fangs, mere inches away from biting through the glass, the others were mouthing incomprehensible sentences at her, and the eyes watched her every movement.  She gripped her coffee mug so tight she wondered how it hadn't shattered to pieces in her hands yet.  Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.  Taptaptaptaptaptap.  Two horrible, snake-like mockeries of fingers were tapping at each window pane, conjoined at the base and connected to a larger, fleshy tendril tethering them to the EVO. One finger of each pair tapped, while the other scrabbled against each pane of glass, trying to get a grip. And it was then she realized that the mouths were not whispering gibberish to the windows. To her. They were repeating a single sentence, over and over again. One that made her freeze and forced a curl of ice cold dread to bloom in her stomach. "Let me in," it said, unblinking eyes trained on hers. "Let me in. Let me in. Let me in." Mia squeezed her eyes shut, quelled the shaking of her hands, and forced out a rather polite, if not quaky, 'no, thank you'.  There was still a person under there. There was still a person under all that. There was a human being somewhere inside that wall of flesh and she was not going to treat it poorly, dammit. That was not who Mia Moore was. Mia Moore was a role model and a teacher. She was someone others looked to for inspiration. She was not going to let fear get in the way of her treatment of someone else- even if that someone else was a fifty-foot tall EVO desperately trying to get into the room she had locked it out of.

thank you so much for your ask!

[nycis]

Hugs: IV

Part I, Part II, Part III

Taptaptaptaptaptap. Jason ground his teeth together. Taptaptaptaptaptap. It was really starting to get on his nerves now. Taptaptaptaptaptap.

“Okay, fine! Just stop with your goddamn foot, Dick.”

Quiet at last. But only for a moment, Dick put on a nervous smile from the seat next to his in the cave. “I’m just saying we should go out and look for him, Bruce should be back by now.”

Jason sighed, “He’s probably just spending extra time brooding, or dramatically looking over Gotham from some random high rooftop. Or Selina found him and-”

“Ew, dude, come on.” Dick raised a hand to stop Jason talking. “He was only planning two busts tonight, low level stuff, didn’t even take Damian with him. He should’ve been back hours ago and we both no B doesn’t ask for help even if he needs it.”

Jason shook his head and reached for his hemet, he knew he wasn’t going to win this argument, “Alright, just pull up the case files and get the locations for the busts. Let’s just get this over with so you can quit whining already.”

Dick shot him a smile, “Thanks Jay. I���ll take the Marconi warehouse on the docks, you can check out Scarecrow’s old basement lab in the narrows. Do you know where it is?”

Jason nodded and got on his bike. 10 minutes later he was speeding through the near empty streets of Gotham under dim fluorescent streetlights, rays of early dawning light were beginning to peek through the muggy smog that seemed to constantly hover above the city. Bruce really was late. A small amount of worry settled in his gut, he may have a rocky relationship with the man but that didn’t mean he wanted Bruce dead, again.

“Red Hood?” He was pulled from his thoughts as the familiar voice of Oracle crackled from his helmet’s comm, “You’re coming up on the target now.”

“Nightwing, dragged you into this too, huh? Now why was B here, I thought we cleared this place out ages ago.”

“Yeah, Scarecrow abandoned shop in a hurry when Robin tried to storm it by himself a month ago. We think a street gang set up their own operation here with some of Crane’s old gear.”

Rubber wheel squealed in protest as Jason brought the bike to an abrupt stop in a neighbouring alley, “Okay, I’m here. I’ll see you back at the cave O.” He tapped the side of his helmet once to deactivate the comm before drawing both of his pistols from their holsters. With a swift kick and a satisfying crash, the old dull grey service door flew off its hinges.

The interior of the building was dark, the only hints of light coming from the entrance Jason and a broken skylight on the far side of the room. The lenses of his helmet automatically tried to compensate for the sudden darkness, Jason could just about make out scattered tables and broken lab equipment. Amongst them he could count five bloodied and bruised bodies, all their breathing shallow and laboured, a couple of firearms and knives strewn around the carnage.

That wasn’t what caught Jason’s attention though. A lone figure sat crouched in the corner.

“Bats?” Jason called out, surprised by the nervousness in his own synthesised voice. “That you, B?” The figure made no move to get up, only stayed crouching, a tentative black gloved hand reaching out to a pile of bloodied broken glass in front of them.

“They just scattered all over the alley,” Bruce murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, “I couldn’t stop them… I couldn’t stop any of it.”

Jason began edging over slowly, pistols raised cautiously. He quickly glanced around the room, no one else was conscious, no cameras as far as he could see and- Crap. There in the corner of the room was some kind of small metallic container, a bullet hole in it’s centre, must of happened it Bruce’s fight. Now his eyes and helmet had adjusted for the dark, he could see a faint trail of gas leaking from it. Shit, he was really glad he kept his helmet on.

“Hey Bruce.” Jason tried to keep his voice steady and his words calm, “Bruce, it’s me, it’s Jason.”

“She loved those pearls…” He whimpered out, “Afterwards… after, I tried to pick them all up. But they were all so bloody and wet and slipping and I couldn’t find them all...”

Jason holstered a gun, still keeping his head on swivel, looking out for anyone else. He swallowed the lump in his throat, “Bruce we’ve got to get you out of here.” Reaching and placing a hand on the older man’s shoulder.

Instantly Bruce swiveled around, slamming Jason against the wall of the room, the usual look of recognition absent from his eyes. He glanced down at the gun in Jason’s hand. “You took them from me, you did this!”

The hand pushing against Jason’s torso increased in pressure into an ironclad grip. “Bruce,” Jason choked out, “Bruce, please. Stop.”

The anger in Bruce’s eyes only doubled, “You killed them from me, plunged all of Gotham into this chaos! Made me do this to myself!”

“It’s me, Bruce. It’s Jason.” Jason dropped the gun and slammed his free hand across Bruce but it had no effect. “It’s your son.”

The hand instantly withdrew, a withering look of horror and disbelief crossing Bruce’s face as he collapsed against Jason. Quickly hot tears flooded cowl’s grim visage. “Jay.”

Jason gasped in relief, and instinctively put an arm around the figure huddled against him.

“Jay, I’m so sorry.” Bruce’s tears turned into sobs, wrenching a part of Jason’s gut he didn’t realise he still had. “I couldn’t save you, I tried and I tried but I couldn’t get there in time. I tried.”

Jason fully encased the him with both arms wrapped, a tear slipping from his own eyes. “I know you did Bruce.”

[hyperspacial]

Actually this is stuck in my head so here's a list of iconic tik toks that people quote:

Stop this madness. Please. What do you want with me. eH. WHaT DO YoU WANT-PLEASE~~~

I'll be bastion/ NERF BASTION

That is very much adequate

The birds work for the bourgeoise

SoMeBOdie cOMe gET 'er, she's dancin' like a stripper

It smells like a PUbliC Restroom!!! No............. well~~

Welcome to my hooker palace, please dont leave, I have no friends.

You've been SUmmoned to the hOuse of VIBES for your Vibe Check (TM).

OEEAUUUOUUU You May Sayyyy I'm a Dreamerrr

Two plus two is four, minus one that's quick math

Three, is a magic number.

Here's the plan- you, me, autism -AuTiSm-

Well Alice, it seems we both have autism havent we ((plz see tags))

Can I ~~pet~~ thAt Dawg?!??

I Am Not Gay-------- I Am GAy

Hit oR miss, I guess they never miss, HUH?

THATS MY PURSE, I DONT KNOW yoU

lET's tALk about hYgiene~~~

What is... what is the dog doin??!!

........mOThMAn

Ew yucky, that is gunk

whEn wOrlds collide, you can run, BUT YOU CANT HIDE

brO lOOk at all my tRAsh

She walked, so that PEPPA COULD RUNNNNN

Nobody knows I'm a LesBiAn

I'm Ethan, and I'm 14.

aND THen there's chunky, He's Dead.... 🎶🎶he's dead. Chunky's dead.🎶🎶

.......oh, it was sexism.

EEt Is what eET isssss.

I know everything I need to know about you. You do? Ah, you do.

Oooooooh, what a time to be alive.

see this what we not finna do. See this what we not finna do. See This What We Not Finna Do-

He do be lookin kinda ______ doe.

But I'm so ugly and I'm so broken

Ugh, this bitch *taptaptaptaptaptap-*

Aoughhehs, what do you think of him? Well, I dont like a man with too many muscles. ~~I Didn't mAke HiM for YOuuu~~~

..... I should call her/him

I LIKE THE WAAY THEY RUN THEN FALL THEN DIE

But imagine how tired we are. Imagine how tired we are.

What's wrong Jimmy-con?

I'll see you after the function

whaaaAaaat Kind Of Fuckery Is This?

Oh what a Schill to have oh what a schill to have scho many schills-

..................................... ...... yuh

I dont know if this is racist, but it dont feel right.

Wow. This is so amazing. I love all cultures. I am so progressive.

wHEre's tHE FLaVor???? I dont taste anything???

Am I a lady? Or am I a rat?

Alive? Ahaha, fuck

If this is how the boys roll, then imma stick with the girls

Running I'm running I'm running~~

I don't want your money, I got this just for YoUUUUU

IIiIIiIiiiiiii'm bitch

I WANNA KNOW WHAT IT FELT LIKE

I can do this shit with no effort- I actually cannot do it at all and it is very difficult

I'm just a kid and life is a ~~nightmare~~

That's the ticket, give me The Ticket

THis is a Skeleton, this is bOnes

She looks like every other bitch. Like.

AM I WRONG? YOURE GOING TO LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME IM WRONG?

AlRight we'Re here, sitting in the car

If you dont stop that man is gonna take you.

You take the moon and you take the moon and you take the moon-

You gotta live laugh love, live laugh love x4

Excuse me, my name is Margo

Yeah someone said Wells Fargo

Stop drinking milk anthony!!

Ugh. That's nasty. I'm gonna go throw up.

Blow that piece of junk out of the sky!!!!!

ThEn pAy with your blood

Oh my god. I am never going to financially recover from this

Ha ha, laugh funny. To me it's funny, do you have a sense of humor?

Cause your boyfriends a bitch, he ain't shit.

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

These are all ones I've heard quoted irl. So no, I think tik tok is just as pervasive as vine was. Sure the gentrified tik tok dancers aren't creating these audios, but LeLe Pons and Jake Paul didn't create iconique vines either.

A lot of these are song snippets because of the audio format of tik tok (treating audios like tags), most of the ones I listed are originals, but tik tok still had a huge hand in making these media snippets widespread heuristics. The only reason there aren't as many 'iconic tik tok compilations' is because tik tok audios are used as meme formats rather than stand alone videos.

Please add others if you think of them!!

like, i’m pretty sure tiktok has existed for longer than vine did at this point but i’m yet to actually see an “iconic” tiktok. like people always caption like “this tiktok is ICONIC” but i’ve never seen one stay in the public consciousness for any longer than the 2 minutes it appears on my timeline. i never see people quote tiktoks or like, act them out with their friends or anything, not a single tiktok i’ve seen has had any actual staying power

meanwhile i can just say like “ROAD work ahead?” and i would bet a good chunk of you have just read that in the guy’s voice. i still see people tag things like “i wish i was jared, 19″. one night at the bar where i work we started an impromptu dance party purely by saying “hi, i’m renata bliss, and i’ll be your freestyle dance teacher”

i guess brevity really is the soul of wit