#I WASN'T WORRIED ABOUT IT BEING CANCELLED

[karnakas]

damn i didn't even need to do one of the tasks because my PT already had me scheduled. love those guys.

[thecherrygod]

/

[hyprfixate]

a genetic disposition (to loving you) :: [BC x Reader]

read on AO3

summary: seeing chan at the genetic clinic when he told you he was too busy to hang out was one thing. noticing he was now significantly taller than he was a couple weeks ago was another.

learning he's been diagnosed with the werewolf disorder is something different entirely.

pairing: bang chan x reader

tropes: childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, idiots in love, modern werewolf au, no transformations tho, chronically ill reader, reader has EDS (ehlers danlos syndrome), some angst, slight miscommunication trope

smut warning: masturbation (m), handjobs, blink-and-you-miss-it subby chan, voyeurism, pussy eating (x2), no actual ABO dynamics but that's not stopping Chan from calling himself Alpha, dirty talk, lots of begging, standing/wall sex, cumming inside AND cumming outside.

content warning: talks about being in pain, self deprecating talk, anxiety spirals, very brief internalized ableism, panic attack

word count: 21.6k

author's note: if you saw the three different attempts to post this, no you didn't. enjoy! <3

Chan was acting weird.

To be fair, he always acts weird. Weird might actually be his default. But this was a different type of weird– a weird that involved canceling plans last minute and making up flimsy excuses about why. 

Today, he was supposed to accompany you to your doctor's appointment. A simple, low stakes kind of hangout. You looked at your phone with a sigh.

Channie: sorry, can we do a raincheck for our hangout? not to sound like a fuckboy but something came up

Channie: i really am sorry babygirl. i'll make it up to you i promise. please tell me how it goes okay?

You let out a small huff of air. You would love to be annoyed, mad even, but at the end of the day, this is Chan, your best friend since elementary school. The guy who held you through heartbreaks and stressful semesters. The guy who memorized your ridiculously complicated Dunkin order. The guy who dropped everything to stay with you at the hospital a few months ago when things got really bad.

The guy you're secretly in love with.

Okay, maybe that was a minor and insignificant detail in the grand scheme of things. Either way, you can't be mad at Chan. 

You: don't worry channie. i'll be okay. I hope your stuff goes well ok? 

Channie: love u, good luck with your appointment, it's gonna be ok

Right. Your appointment.

You'd been having some increasingly bothersome and worrying symptoms for the better part of 2 years now. It started with a noticeable dull ache in your knees that wouldn't go away, reaching a peak now where there's not a single day you wake up pain free. The doctors were just as stumped as you were, and as sort of a last ditch effort, they sent you to a geneticist in the expensive part of the city. Thank goodness for adequate health insurance.

You were a bit nervous, which is why you asked Chan to come with you, but it wasn't that big of a deal. You've been to specialists before. 

Still, disappointment rises in your chest as you finish pulling your hair away from your face and securing it with a scrunchie before grabbing your essentials and heading out the door. You're more disappointed about the fact that he's not coming instead of what he's not coming to. You're getting a little weary and tired of the excuses and him bailing on plans. 

But then you think about the way his voice sounds when he calls you babygirl, and everything seems right again.

The trip to the geneticist office is long, and by the time you arrive, you feel the exhaustion in every joint. For such a high caliber place, it's decorated just as sterile and modern as you were expecting, with white walls and white furniture. When you go to check in, the receptionist hands you a tablet with various forms pulled up and points you to the waiting room.

You settle into one of the white waiting room chairs, balancing the iPad on your lap as you begin working through the forms. The questions start simple enough - name, date of birth, insurance information. Then they get more involved, diving into your medical history.

Have you experienced any of the following symptoms in the last six months?

The list that follows is daunting - joint pain (obviously), muscle weakness (sometimes), unexplained fatigue (who doesn't have that?), difficulty concentrating (depends on the day). You find yourself checking more boxes than you'd like.

Your mind drifts to Chan again. You wonder what was so important that he had to cancel. Usually, he at least gives you a concrete excuse, even if it's something silly like having to wash his hair or visit his parents. Today's vague "something came up" feels different. Worrying.

Before you can stop yourself, you pull out your phone.

You: this intake paperwork feels like the ending of a medication commercial

You: i’m surprised they haven't asked me if i or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma

The message stays on delivered for a while, longer than you expect. You give up on staring at your phone and turn your attention back to the paperwork.

After a ridiculous amount of questions and an even more ridiculous amount of signatures, you finish the preliminary stuff, heading back to the receptionist desk to hand her the iPad. She gives you a polite nod and smile and lets you know the nurse will be out in a second, so you can wait in the small chair by the double doors.

You're lost in thought, mindlessly scrolling through your phone when you hear the gentle sound of your name called. The sound makes you look up, tucking your phone away and grabbing your bag. A nurse stands by the double doors, clipboard in hand, wearing deep purple scrubs and a smile that somehow makes the sterile environment feel a little more human.

You push yourself up from the chair, joints starting their songs of protest after sitting still for so long. The nurse offers pleasantries that you respond to with your usual politeness. As you're walking towards the open door, you hear a beep and the whirr of an electronic lock unlocking. The closed side of the door swings open and–

There's Chan.

You both freeze mid-step, eyes wide and locked on each other like this is the first time you're seeing each other in years. It feels like it, but you did just see him last weekend at a mutual friend's birthday party. It was a fun night, but he was acting strange and dodgy then, too.

something came up.

You squint at him, not sure whether confusion or anger is winning the war in you right now. He opens his mouth once, twice– words are failing. The most he can do is let out a shaky, “Babygirl…”

You take that moment to really look at him. His hair is in its natural curly state, but significantly more messy than usual, wisps falling over and around themselves. His eyes are red and bagged heavily, and his shoulders seem like they're scrunching in on themselves. He hasn't looked like this since that night in the hospital with you.

Something is definitely wrong. 

The nurse clears her throat, and you remember you're being waited on. You motion wordlessly towards the nurse and he gives you a shaky nod.  

“I'll, um. I'll text you,” he mumbles weakly, holding the door open for you as you walk past. When you do, you can't help but look up at him, like way, way up. More than you usually do. You almost pause again– are your bone problems making you shrink, or is he somehow taller? Why does he look like that?

It's you who nods shakily this time, forcing yourself to tear your eyes away so you don't bump into a wall. It takes concentrated effort not to look back at him while you walk down the hallway, but somehow you manage.

The nurse brings you to an exam room and tells you to sit tight while she gets the vitals cart. You obey, still dazed and confused and maybe even a little hurt if you allow yourself to really feel it. Your phone buzzes less than a minute later, and you don't even have to guess who it is.

Channie: i'm so sorry.

Channie: i can explain. i promise.

Channie: i just.. i need some time before i can

Channie: im such a fucking idiot. i'm so sorry babygirl. please. 

There are a million and one responses in your head, each with varying levels of confusion or annoyance. But, among the haze, the image of his exhaustion floats back to you, and you find yourself folding.

As usual.

You: breathe, Chan. it's ok. 

You: whatever it is, we'll figure it out, yeah?

You: i do wish you told me but. it's okay. I can wait for an explanation.

Channie: you're so amazing. i don't deserve you. 

Channie: i'll call you when you get out ok? i love u

The nurse comes back with the vitals cart and begins prepping materials before you can respond properly, so you send back a heart and slip your phone into your pocket. When the blood pressure cuff tightens around your arm, you wonder if the nurse will notice how fast your heart is beating – though you're not sure if it's from anxiety or the way Chan's voice cracked when he called you babygirl.

Maybe both.

To his credit, Chan truly does make it up to you, in the form of an extended weekend away at his parents’ cabin upstate. The invitation, or request rather, comes a couple days after the geneticist incident while you're in bed feeling anxious over your test results.

Channie: picking u up thursday night, we're going to my parents’ cabin till monday

Channie: had plans?

If anyone else were to text you like that, you'd balk at their audacity. But because it's Chan, there's a growing heat in your face when you simply reply:

You: no plans. promise you won't bail?

He sends you a picture of his already packed duffel bag and backpack sitting by his door, then another picture of him and his laptop that's clearly pulled up to Google Maps. His eyebrow is raised, sinfully plump lips pulled into a smirk as he points at the screen.

Channie: give me some creditt

Channie: im already packed and the route is already planned

You giggle, feeling the perpetual knot of nerves in your chest loosen. A weekend away with Chan sounds like the perfect thing. It'll be a way to get your mind off the maybes and anxieties from your appointment, and a way to spend time with your best friend. 

A win-win.

You spend the next few days packing and gathering supplies for a weekend at the cabin, which isn't as simple a task as it sounds. Chan is adamant that you worry about nothing except getting your stuff together, so he won't tell you what he has planned or what to pack. After losing many back and forth arguments, you toss a little bit of everything in your small suitcase, leaving your backpack for entertainment and snack purposes.

Thursday creeps up slowly, then all at once. Unfortunately, you wake up to deep pain in almost all of your joints– even your fingers seem to be screaming with every movement. Getting ready takes longer than you want, but you push through, and it isn't long before you're sitting on your living room couch, waiting for Chan to let you know to come out. It was a wonder what large amounts of Ibuprofen could do.

You hear the familiar puttering of his engine before his text even comes through, the soft ding of your phone cutting through your apartment.

Channie: i'm here babygirl

Channie: coming up to help w ur bags 

A warm flutter runs through your chest at his thoughtfulness. You're not sure you'll ever really get used to it. 

You push yourself up from the couch, breath hitching when the movement causes a dull ache to radiate down the length of your legs. You pause, gripping the arm of the couch and squeezing your eyes shut for a moment.

It's fine, you reason with yourself. It's not that bad. You're fine.

You're thankful that you had the foresight to pack a suitcase instead of a duffle, at least this way you'll have something to bear your weight on while you walk.

Your jacket is slipped over one shoulder when you hear the buzz from your doorbell. Chan's smiling face greets you when you open the door, looking both insanely handsome and–

“Am I shrinking, or are you growing?”

He's leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his massive chest, which is somewhat concealed by the oversized sweater he's wearing. You want to scold him for such a light outer layer in the bitter late autumn, but your words get stuck in your throat as you find yourself tilting your head up further than usual to look at him.

And then you give yourself the pleasure of really looking at him.

His hair is its usual wispy, beautiful mess. He cards his fingers through it as he looks at you, smiling as though about to say something, when suddenly his smile drops, his eyebrows furrowed as he stands up straight.

“You're in pain.”

It’s not a question.  He's providing the information to you as fact. You blink in surprise.

“Yes, I am, but how did you–”

"I can–” He cuts himself off, looking uncertain for a moment before shaking his head. "I just know you, babygirl. You're not putting much weight on your left leg, anyway."

Hm. He caught you there.

“How bad is it?”

You finish shrugging on your jacket. “Um, maybe six out of ten. But I took medicine, I should be– Are you sweating?”

It's a stupid question, because he is, and you don't need a verbal response to confirm it. Sweat is beating at his temples and dampening his hair. Something flickers across his face, but then his expression is back to normal again. 

You watch him flip through a million different responses in his mind, but before he settles on one, he spots your bags next to the door and goes to grab them, slinging your backpack over his shoulder with profound ease. He's moving so fast and he's so jittery that you barely get a second to process everything.

“Chan,” you finally say when he whizzes past you again to put your remote back in the organizer. He pauses, back stiffening like he's a little kid again about to be scolded. He turns to you slowly. “Are you okay?”

You watch him take a deep, shuddering breath, his entire body seeming to expand and contract. The unnatural stiffness in his body seems like he's forcing himself to stay still, and you see his finger drumming patterns on his thigh.

You repeat his name, softer this time. “What's wrong?”

He shakes his head a bit too fast. “No, nothing, I–” He runs his fingers through his hair, pausing to grip the roots to ground himself to this moment. It works for a second. “I'm… okay. I can explain everything later babygirl, I just… I really just want to focus on spending time with you.”

There's a raw edge to his voice that makes your chest tighten. You study his face, taking in the exhaustion, the sheen from sweat, the way his eyes won't meet yours. Every instinct screams that something is wrong, but…

“Okay,” you relent with a sigh. It should be embarrassing how easily you fold for him. It should maybe even be studied. “But you promise that you'll explain?”

He deflates, eyes brightening with relief. “I promise. Chris-Cross my heart.” He punctuates his sentence by putting his hand over his chest.

You can't help the smile that takes over your face at that– the reference to the silly rhyme you'd made up when you were kids based on his English name. A bit of the anxiety in your chest loosens. “Now let's go before the traffic gets unbearable.”

You grab your keys and headphones, giving your apartment one last glance over before following Chan out of the door. By the time you finish locking up, he's already halfway to the elevator, his abnormally long legs quickening his pace. As you try to catch up with him, you can't help but notice his stature– how his shoulders seem broad under his sweater, how he just seems… more.

The elevator ride to the parking garage under your apartment building is quiet, but not uncomfortably. Chan is humming something under his breath, his increasingly restless fingers tapping out the rhythm on his leg. Despite all of it, you feel relaxed. No matter what's going on, this is still your Chan, your person. 

He tosses your bags into his trunk with an ease that perks your entire body to attention. When you go to pull open the passenger door, he beats you to it, adding a dramatic flourish as he holds it open for you.

Your heart almost jumps out of your chest.

In the passenger's seat is a small pink box with a label from your favorite bakery, alongside a nice variety of drinks in the cupholder. He's got a pair of fluffy slippers on the mat by your feet, too, and you can see on the dashboard he's turned the seat warmers on.

“Chan,” you breathe. Your heart is doing strange things in your chest, and you're either feeling extremely touched or about to pass out. “You didn't have to–”

“I wanted to.” You turn to look at him, and he's looking away, scratching the hair at the base of his neck. “Felt like an ass, you know, being so distant and weird. Needed to make it up to you.”

It's entirely unfair that he can just… say those things to you. He's your best friend, so of course he's affectionate– that's just how he's been since you met in third grade. What started with bringing extra GoGurts and tying your shoes when you broke your wrist has just now turned into spoiling you with cabin vacations and things you mention offhandedly that you like. 

No biggie.

He nudges you in the car playfully, making some lighthearted joke about him getting too soft on you. You can barely hear him over the thrumming of your heartbeat in your ears, choosing instead to follow his movements in the rear view mirror. You watch as he pauses by the trunk, carding a hand through his hair and taking a big breath, before eventually making his way over to the driver's seat. He tosses his phone to you, effectively putting you on music duty, and then you're on the road in a matter of minutes.

Time with Chan is always easy. You talk about any and everything for the first hour of the drive, including his job, your lack thereof, and your appointment, and he listens to every detail carefully. 

“So, they think it's a collagen issue?”

You nod, wiggling your feet in your new slippers as you shift your position. “They aren't entirely sure, but they're looking at collagen based connective tissue disorders, like Ehlers Danlos and Lupus. They think that could explain the other issues too.”

He looks contemplative as he peers around you to the mirror by your door, trying to merge into the next lane. “Are you scared?”

You shrug, body moving with the car. “Its.. complicated. On the one hand, it would be scary to receive a life changing diagnosis. On the other hand–”

“You're just happy to have answers.”

You nod again, taking a sip of the caramel latte he bought for you and wincing as you shift again. Long drives are always hard, but paired with the changes in the pressure as the two of you drive further into the mountains, your joints feel like they might disintegrate.

“Scale of one to ten?”

You blink. Chan hadn't taken his eyes off the road, so how could he have seen you shifting? You open your mouth, prepared to lie, but he glances at you with a single eyebrow raised. You sigh.

“Maybe a six,” you breathe.

“So the Ibuprofen didn't help?”

“It did, it's just wearing off.”

You put the latte back in the cup holder, using your hands to bear your weight as you try to find a comfy position to sit in. 

“What do you need, babygirl?”

You fight the shiver his voice sends down your spine. “Nothing. Well– I don't know. Maybe a nap? Is that okay?”

“‘Course it is. Here.”

With sinfully dexterous fingers, he reaches across your lap to recline your seat for you. You let him, body going still as his strong forearm helps ease you back with the chair. When you're comfortable, he reaches behind him to the floor of the backseat, fishing around until he produces–

“Is that your couch blanket?”

His answering grin is soft. “The one you've been threatening to steal? Yeah. Maybe.”

He drapes it over you skillfully, with you having to do very minimal adjusting. The familiar, homey smell of his apartment– warmth and something else very distinctly Chan – floods your senses and wraps you in the warmest hug. It feels like coming home.

You adjust yourself again, sleep wanting to come now that you're cozy, but the dull ache in your legs doesn't want to let go. Without warning, Chan's free hand slips under the blanket and finds the knee of the leg that hurts with amazing accuracy. His hand feels blazing hot through the fabric of your sweats as he rubs his thumb in soothing circles. 

“This okay, yeah?” he asks, his low voice a soothing sound to your ears. Words are caught in your throat, so you can only nod, but you don't miss how the pain starts to dissolve by his touch. You also try very hard not to think about how big his hand is on your knee.

“Get some rest, babygirl. I got you.”

The combination of his gentle touch, the music, and the smell of his blanket is making your eyelids heavy. As you finally drift off, a contented smile pulls at your mouth because no matter what, this is where you're meant to be. 

This is home.

Chan wakes you up about half an hour before you're expected to arrive. However, paired with delays, the pitch blackness of the mountains, and the general unrestrainedness of Murphy's Law, you were only now getting to the cabin at just past 1am. 

The cabin is beautiful, as always. It's nestled amidst a thick grove of evergreen trees, and its tall, warm wood exterior seems inviting even at the ungodly hour you two arrive. As he swings the car onto the gravel driveway, the headlights illuminate it, like it’s a secret just for the two of you.

“Cabin sweet cabin,” he murmurs as he kills the engine. He picks his phone up from the cup holder and gives it a few flicks, then suddenly the porch lights come on. You give a little stretch in your seat, your joints feeling pleasantly loose and mostly pain free– the nap worked wonders. 

The two of you pile out of the car, the fresh mountain air filling your nostrils. It smells like pine needles and freshwater, with an undercurrent of something wild and electric, like the air before a storm.

“Is it supposed to rain?”

Chan barely hears you, his antsyness now back full force. He's got both of your backpacks and his duffle bag slung over his shoulders, and he goes to grab your suitcase, but you appear by his side and pull it away from him. He blinks down at you, seeming surprised to see you there.

You tilt your head to the side. He still looks sweaty, and from where you're standing, it still seems like he's radiating an insane amount of heat. His breaths are labored, and you find yourself reaching over to rub your thumb over his hand. However, once your hands connect, he jumps and pulls away like you've shocked him.

At your hurt face, he tries to backtrack. “Static,” he supplies weakly. You say nothing, and the tips of his ears turn bright red. “Come on, let's get you out of the cold.”

You try not to jump to conclusions. At the end of the day, if something is really bothering him, if something is really wrong, Chan will tell you. He has always been the brooding type, but there is but so long he can keep things from you.

Still, no matter how much you try to take things at his pace, you keep seeing his face at the clinic: the deep bags under his eyes, the messy hair. The last time you looked into those eyes and saw that same pain, you were in a hospital bed hooked up to more monitors than you could count.

Chan had been brooding then too, refusing to leave your side, asking the doctors all the right questions, keeping your parents up to date when they had to go back home. You remember one night in particular, when you were chalk full of pain meds and falling asleep under the whirr of an oxygen mask, he'd stood at your bedside and rubbed his thumb over your forehead to soothe you. You couldn't speak, too exhausted and in pain to move in any capacity, but you didn't need to. He spoke to you the entire time about everything and nothing, switching his  murmuring to quiet comforts when you started to cry. Just before sleep took you under, you met his eyes– his exhausted, red rimmed eyes– and he gave you the softest, most tender look.

“We'll get through it, babygirl,” he had murmured. “You're gonna be okay. You'll come home.”

You did come home, of course, but that's when things became different. Chan was distant, constantly canceling plans, avoiding you.

You shake the memory from your head as you watch him fiddle with his keys in the lock. This weekend was meant to be about the two of you having fun. You could worry about everything else later.

Chan flicks on the overhead light in the living room area and the room floods with warmth. Everything looks just as familiar and homey as you recall.

Before you can take a good breath, he's got your bags and suitcase and is bounding up the stairs with them like they weigh nothing. You choose to busy yourself with getting comfortable, peeling off your coat and hanging it on the nearby hook.

You're tugging your hair back into a ponytail when he comes back down, and when you look up and spot him the scrunchie flies across the room.

He's taken off his hoodie, leaving him in a fitted white tee that does nothing to hide just how different his body looks. It's no secret that Chan works out, but he fills out this shirt like it was painted on him. You quickly pull your spare scrunchie from the other wrist to tie up your hair, trying not to dwell.

"Do you want me to put these in the kitchen?" you call out, holding up the bag of road trip leftovers.

"Yeah, just–" his voice cracks, and he clears his throat. "Just throw them on the counter. I'll organize everything later."

You pad into the kitchen, bare feet silent on the wooden floors. Everything is exactly as you remember it – the mismatched mugs in the cabinet, the worn wooden spoons in the ceramic holder, the string lights Chan installed last summer that give everything a soft glow. If you close your eyes, you could almost pretend nothing has changed.

Almost.

You find, unsurprisingly, that the cabinets and fridge are stocked full. Chan's parents likely came out to pack up some groceries when he told them you'd be coming. You find yourself leaning against an open cabinet, staring into space, your mind a million miles away.

"You okay, babygirl?”

You jump slightly – you hadn't heard him come up behind you. He's standing in the doorway of the kitchen, running his hands through his hair again, that restless energy still evident in every movement.

"Yeah, just..." you gesture vaguely around you. "Memories, you know?"

His expression softens, and for a moment he looks exactly like your Chan again. "Yeah, I know."

The moment stretches between you, comfortable and familiar, until your stomach decides to break it with an embarrassingly loud growl. Chan's laugh is startled but genuine.

"I don't remember that.” He jokes. “Hungry?"

You feel your cheeks heat. "Yeah, I think so.”

He starts rolling his sleeves up. “I could probably make some eggs and toast, if–.”

“It's one in the morning,” you scold him gently. “Nobody is cooking.”

He gives you a pout, which is comical considering his current stature, but you still feel a tug in your chest. “But–”

You shake your head, turning away from him so you don't relent. “No buts. We have tons of snacks. Help me find something.”

At your request, the two of you rummage through the drawers and cupboards. Everything either requires too much effort or won't agree with your stomach at this ridiculous hour. You're ready to call it quits and sleep for dinner when a lightbulb goes off in your head.

“Oh, can I have one of your protein bars? You always buy the good kind.”

His smile is soft, dimples catching the light in a way that makes his entire face seem like a dream. “Of course. They're in my backpack, next to the couch.”

You slide your way to his bag with an excited pep in your step. Chan, being who he is, always buys the amazingly expensive protein bars that manage not to taste like chalky disappointment. They're surprisingly filling, and you know they'll settle your stomach without causing a stomach ache.

You find his bag quickly in the low light of the room, squatting down to rifle through it. With your hand in the front pocket, you dig around until your fingers find something that feels like the protein bar box. In your hungry haze, you yank it out without thinking.

It is not the protein bar box.

Instead, it's a thick packet of paper. You go to put it back when the letter head of the genetic clinic you visited catches your eye, along with the words “After-Visit Summary”.

Maybe if your heart wasn't thrumming in your ears, you would've heard his panicked footsteps coming after you. But the only thing in your ears is the erratic beating of your heart, one that only gets worse when you turn the packet over and read the small words on the margin:

You were seen today for: Hormonal Changes. The following issues were addressed: Genetic Lycanthrope Syndrome (Werewolf Gene).

You hear your name through the roaring in your ears. It's a soft, tentative sound that cracks around the edges. You turn, slowly, to see Chan almost right behind you, his face drained of all color and his eyes blown wide.

“Chan,” you breathe. You turn a bit more towards him, the packet still gripped in your hand. “What–”

"I can explain," he says quickly, desperately. His hands are shaking. "I was going to tell you, I swear, I just– I needed time to–”

He trails off, looking around the room as though looking for someone to help him.

Genetic Lycanthrope Syndrome.

You came across this condition when you were researching the clinic, as they mentioned that they were the only place in the area that had the facilities to test for it. It was, as the paper put it, the werewolf gene. People with the condition experienced heightened senses of smell, increased strength, sensory sensitivities– they were werewolves, just without the whole full moon transformation thing.

To say the condition was rare was an understatement. Both parents had to be carriers for the trait, and even then it only occurred in 25% of those births.

And Chan happened to be one of them.

Everything clicks into place now. The sudden growth spurt, the feverishly hot skin, how he knows when you're in pain without you saying a word.

“This is why you were at the clinic,” you say softly. It's not a question.

He nods jerkily, still looking like he might bolt at any second. You stand up to take a step toward him and he actually backs away.

“Don't,” he breathes. “I'm… I don't want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” You almost laugh. “Chan, you're not going to hurt me. How could you think that?”

“No, you don't understand,” he cards his hands through his hair, pausing to tug on the roots. “I can't… I don't know how to control myself yet. I'm different now, I'm–”

“Still Chan.”

The sound he makes is painful. “You can't say that,” he breathes. His hands drop to his sides again. “You don't know what it's like.”

“So tell me," you urge. You move as though you're about to take another step towards him, and your heart drops at how his entire body flinches. “Chan. Chris. Christopher. Look at me please.”

The use of his full name does something to him, and you watch as he settles, eyes drifting over to you slowly. His gaze is intense, and in the dim light of the living room, you feel akin to a deer staring down a wolf, no pun intended. 

It does not frighten you the way it should.

“Talk to me, please,” you beg. “You're my best friend. I'm here for you, always.”

“I can smell when you're in pain,” he grits out. It's not what you're expecting to hear. He clenches a hand into a fist, then lets it go. “You usually smell sweet, like caramel and linen. But then your scent gets an undercurrent of something harsh, like burnt sugar and metal, and I… I feel like–”

He lets out a shuddering breath, closing his eyes as he cuts himself off. “I can't control my strength. I've broken so much shit around the apartment. Don't wanna touch you. Don't wanna break you.”

“You won't hurt me.” You take the opportunity to get closer, but he must smell the closing distance because his eyes fly open. You're in front of him before he can move. “Do you know why?”

Chan's breaths are ragged and labored. “Why?”

“Because you're still my Chan. Still the guy who's been taking care of me since elementary school. Still the person I trust most in the world."

His breath hitches. "How can you say that? How can you just... accept this?"

You can't help the small laugh that escapes. "Chan, I'm literally at the same genetic clinic getting tested for a collagen disorder. Did you think I wouldn't understand what it's like to have your body change in ways you can't control?"

That seems to catch him off guard. He turns away, a frown tugging at his lips. "That's... that's different.”

“Is it though?” You pretend to be thoughtful. “Last I checked, it's like both of our bodies are changing in ways we don't understand. Like we both have to navigate a new normal.”

"That's exactly why I–" he cuts himself off, running both hands through his hair. "I can't risk hurting you. Not when you're already..."

"Already what?" You challenge, taking one final step. You're close enough now that you have to tilt your head back to look at him properly. "Already broken?”

His face twists up like you've punched him in the stomach. “No! God, no. When you're already going through so much.”

“A lot of what I'm going through is a waiting game, Chan– waiting for test results, waiting for appointments at specialists. You don't have to keep things from me because of that.”

You poke him in his side, trying to lighten the mood. “Besides, this? Finding out you're a werewolf–”

“The correct term is Lycanthropy Syndrome–”

“-- This is the kind of stuff that keeps me grounded. Having other things to think about. Having you around.”

You watch the tension slowly bleed from his shoulders, almost as though he's deflating. There's obviously more he isn't telling you– you can see it in the way his eyes still can't seem to meet yours– but you don't push it. He's already said so much.

“So,” you start. You rock back and forth on your feet. “Can I make werewolf puns now?”

He rolls his eyes. “Absolutely not.”

“Are you pawsitive?”

He groans at that, a smile pulling at his lips despite himself. “You're the worst. I'm gonna leave you here and go home.”

But he's laughing anyway, his usual giggle that makes everything seem like it'll be alright. You beam at him. and your body lights aflame when he smiles back down at you softly. The two of you hold eye contact for a second, and you watch something untraceable flash in his eyes. Before you can even process it, he's looking away again and clearing his throat.

Another silence falls between you, but this one is different. Chan is fidgeting again, his fingers drumming against his thigh in that restless way you've noticed all evening. He's looking everywhere but at you, and you can practically see the wheels turning in his head.

"What is it?" you ask softly.

He opens his mouth once. Twice. Three times– words seem to be failing him again. You raise an eyebrow and he sighs, a sheepish smile on his big stupidly handsome face.

"Can we..." he starts, then stops. Starts again. "Would it be okay if we... like we used to..."

You wait patiently as he struggles with the words. His ears are turning red again.

"Can we share my bed?" he finally gets out in a rush. "Like– like when we were kids? Just for tonight. I just... I haven't been sleeping well since everything started and I… um…”

Your brain short circuits as the request processes.

Share… a bed. With Chan. Taller, wider, more muscular Chan. Chan whose body heat seeps through every layer of clothing. Chan whose one hand can cover your knee easily. 

From the way your body reacts, your knee jerk reaction is to say no. He's already going through enough, and Lord knows what types of degenerate scent you'd be giving off if you spent an entire night with him.

But when you open your mouth to decline, you notice how he's standing, with his shoulders curved inward, trying to make himself smaller. His big brown eyes are pleading, almost desperate, and you think about how scared he was earlier, how convinced he was that you'd reject him once you knew the truth.

Fuck it.

“Of course, Channie.”

The smile on his face is nervous, like he expects you to change your mind any second. “Yeah?”

You nod, ignoring the way your brain tries to supply you with images of everything you want to have happen. "Yeah. Just... let me get changed first?"

He nods quickly, that restless energy back but different now – excited rather than anxious. "Yeah! Yes. Your stuff is in your room, yeah? I'll be in mine when you're ready."

He's bounding up the stairs before you can say anything. You take the moment alone to take a deep breath. You can do this. It's just Chan. Just your best friend.

When you reach your room, you duck into the attached bathroom to change quickly, opting for the full top and bottom PJ set rather than the oversized hoodie you were originally going to wear. You stare at your reflection, willing yourself to calm down and look normal.

Sharing a bed with Chan is not a new concept. When you'd first gotten close in grade school, the two of you tended to hop from house to house, sleeping wherever without a care in the world. The habit continued as you grew up– in college during study sessions, during movie marathons on school breaks, that one time a few months ago when you'd gotten terribly drunk at your friend Jeongin's birthday party. It had never been anything more than two friends seeking each other's comfort.

You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror again, face flushed and breathing ragged. You force yourself to calm down– if Chan could smell when you were in pain, he could probably smell the indecency coming off of you in waves. 

Everything is fine.

When you reach the doorway of the master bedroom, Chan is already in bed scrolling on his phone. You watch his nostrils flare for a second, eyes fluttering shut as he puts his phone on the night stand.

The king sized bed looks both too big and too small.

When he opens his eyes, he looks surprised to see you. and you watch red start to tint his neck. “Um. Hey,” he breathes.

You hover in the doorway, suddenly hyperaware of every inch of space between you. "Hey."

Chan shifts, pulling back the covers on what has always been 'your' side of the bed “Um. Do you want... I mean, we usually..." He trails off, looking everywhere but directly at you.

You take the initiative and move towards the bed, sliding down under the covers until they reach just under your chin. Chan shuffles next to you, scooting this way and that, flipping like a hot dog on a stick. You both settle on your back eventually, staring up at the ceiling.

“This is weird,” he says after a few minutes of strained silence.

“Not weird,” you supply. “Just… different.”

“Different…,” he murmurs. “Different because I'm different?”

You almost laugh. “Chan, what? No–”

He's sliding out from under the covers before you can finish. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have– this was dumb to ask.” You ignore the way your heart drops. “I'll go sleep in the other room. Or on the couch. Or–”

You grab at his wrist before he can go anywhere. He doesn't jerk away this time, but his entire body goes rigid. You rub your thumb along the pulse point on his wrist.

“You don't have to leave,” you say slowly. “It’s not weird because you're different. It's weird because we're both over thinking it.”

He lets out a little breath. “We are, aren't we?”

"Yeah." You squeeze his wrist once before letting go. He settles back down into the bed, still looking a bit uncomfortable, but not ready to run anymore. 

You smile at him before holding open the cocoon you made in the blanket. "Come here, you big baby."

"I resent that," he grumbles, but there's a smile tugging at his lips.

It takes some maneuvering to find a comfortable position. Chan is hesitant at first, careful not to crowd you, but eventually you manage to guide him until his head is tucked under your chin, his arm draped carefully over your middle. His body curls around yours despite the size difference, like he's trying to make himself smaller again. When he finally settles, it feels like every part of him is contoured to fit you perfectly.

You ignore the heat in your stomach.

The silence that settles around you is comfortable now, broken only by your breathing beginning to sync up. His body weight is grounding, and the heat he's radiating feels like the world's best heating pad. 

You're just beginning to doze off when Chan makes a low, displeased grunt in the back of his throat. You can feel his eyebrows scrunch together where he's pressed against your collarbone.

“Your hip,” he murmurs.

“Hm?”

He shifts in your hold, maneuvering you until his other hand can slide under your body to wrap around you. “Your hip hurts. Or it's about to start.”

Sleepiness has made you a pliant, barely conscious little thing. You're about to ask how he can tell when his big, warm hand presses against your hip, heat radiating through the fabric until it settles deep into your bones. You can't help but let out a little whimper from the immediate relief it gives you.

Chan makes another sound in his throat, grip increasing on you almost infinitesimally. 

“This good, babygirl?”

“Mmf.”

The warmth and relaxation is muddling your brain. “S'good, Channie.”

He makes a more pleased sound and nuzzles closer. Sleep takes you quickly after that, and all you can think about as you finally succumb is how lucky you are to have him here with you. You'd love to say as much, but you're too tired to open your mouth, so you give him the tiniest of squeezes, hoping he understands.

From the way his arm tightens around you, you think he does.

Things seem less charged in the morning.

You wake up to sunlight glittering through the curtains and the other side of the bed empty. The sheets are still warm, but given what you've come to learn about Chan and his temperature, he could've left the bed anywhere from three seconds to four hours ago.

You stretch a little bit as you try to wake up fully, heading to the other bedroom to freshen up for the day. It seems like an okay day pain-wise. You're at a steady three out of ten everywhere except your hands, but you brush it off. With the way you sleep, your hands take longer to catch up to the lower pain levels in the rest of your body. It's just a matter of time. 

Still, you run them under warm water in the bathroom, hoping to loosen them up.

When you finally emerge, you follow the mouthwatering scent of cooking down the stairs and into the kitchen. After a nonexistent dinner, you're starved, and you could really go for some food right now.

You pause in the archway of the kitchen.

Food is… an understatement.

Chan stands at the stove, spatula in hand and preparing to flip what looks like an omelette. All around him on the counters are various other breakfast foods: scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, hashbrowns, fruit–

“When did you have time to make a sourdough starter?”

He startles slightly, turning to face you with a sheepish smile. “Ah… good morning, babygirl. I may have.. gone a bit overboard.”

“A bit?” You slide into a seat at the edge of the kitchen island in the one spot where there's no food. “If you were planning to invite the woodland creatures you could've given me a heads up, I'd be decent.”

The responding huff makes you smile. “I cannot communicate with animals. Weirdo.” Chan grins. He folds the omelette in half and flips it over. “I just… I got hungry.”

You sneak a piece of bacon off of a nearby plate and snort. “‘Hungry’ seems like a gross understatement. Is this a side effect?”

Chan's ears turn pink as he plates the omelette. "Yeah, actually. My metabolism is... different now. Food tastes different too– more intense." He starts moving dishes to the kitchen island, careful not to overcrowd your space. "Everything is more intense, really."

"Like what?"

He hums thoughtfully as he settles into the chair next to you, close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off of him. "Smells are the biggest thing. Like, I can smell everything. The coffee brewing, the bacon grease in the air, the rain that's coming later–"

"It's going to rain?"

"Yeah, probably this afternoon." He passes you a fork and a plate you never noticed him constructing. "I can smell it in the air. What’s the word? Petrichor, but... before the rain actually falls? If that makes sense.”

You hum around a fork full of eggs, cracking the fingers on your free hand. “That sounds like it can get miserable. Is everything just… enhanced all the time?”

He takes a bite out of a chunk of toast, making a so-so motion with his hand. “It's enhanced all the time, but the way it is right now, the intensity, that’s only sometimes. Only during–”

He cuts himself off, swallowing his bite of toast with more power than necessary. 

“During the full moon?” You supply.

He nods quickly. “Yeah.”

There's a lull in the conversation that you try not to read into. It doesn't take much effort anyway, because you notice that eating is taking more effort than it was a few minutes ago. Your grip on the fork is weird, and you can't seem to close your fingers all the way around it.

That's fine, you think to yourself. You switch hands. Everything is fine.

You try not to let the revelation sour your mood. Chan mentioned it was going to rain, and while your doctors didn't know why you were in pain, they knew what kinds of things made it worse, and the air pressure changes from rain was one of them. This was just something you had to learn to deal with now.

Resentment for your condition rises in your chest with the little bit you've eaten, and you take a sip of apple juice to swallow it down. It's not fair. People your age were doing things like mountain climbing, running marathons, just living. And here you were, struggling to feed yourself and hold a fork.

It's fine.

A hand on your shoulder pierces through the dense clouds shrouding your mind, and you feel yourself startle a little. Chan is facing you, leaning his impossibly tall torso down to look you right in your eyes. His gaze is intense, gold flecks in his eyes swimming around as he stares.

“What hurts,” he breathes. The sound of his voice is light as a feather, floating through the air before coming to rest gently on your lips. 

“My hands.”

“Scale of one to ten?”

You think about saying your number, but upon remembering how nice and easy conversation was this morning, you decide to lie. “Four.”

The look in Chan’s eyes grows more intense, and you swallow around nothing. He levels you with a very unimpressed look, eyebrows creasing and his plushy, pink lips frowning. He only says two words, but they send a ripple through your body anyway:

“Try again.”

Fuck. You're giving yourself whiplash. Jumping from frustration to stark arousal was an Olympics level move your brain wasn't prepared for. There's a different kind of haze clouding your mind now.

“It's a seven,” you breathe. 

He's up on his feet before you can fully compose yourself, long legs taking him up the stairs and bringing him back down in a matter of seconds. When he sits down again, he's holding your decorative medication pouch and a mini water bottle from your backpack.

You gulp at the way the veins in his arm bulge.

“Which bottle is it?”

You come back to yourself, licking your incredibly dry lips before you respond. It takes a blink or two before you can orient yourself in the present. “Um, red bottle. The tall one.”

He places the bottle and water in front of you in a gentle way that contrasts the energy in the room. You fumble with the child proofing for a second before he plucks the bottle from you, undoing the lid with one hand.

Wow. Fuck.

"Thanks," you mumble, accepting the pills he tips into your palm. His hand moves from your shoulder to the back of your neck as you swallow them, and you try not to shiver at the contact.

“Do you need a nap while the pills work?”

You pout, finally coming back to your good senses. “We're supposed to have a movie marathon today.”

“I didn't realize the TV had a flight to catch?”

You glare at him, albeit thankful for the teasing sarcasm to loosen the tension. “You're not funny.”

Chan's lips pull into a smirk and he gives a little shrug. “I think I am.”

You roll your eyes at him as he stands, coming over to you and easing you out of your seat. He gives a little ‘tsk’ at your faux attitude, but his hands are back on your shoulders, guiding you towards the couch. When you finally do lay down, he's already throwing his signature couch blanket over you, tucking it around you securely.

“Comfy?”

You are, but you've also realized he's tricked you into a nap, so you do the adult thing and mock him before sticking your tongue out at him.

“Wow,” he murmurs. He slides down the couch and onto the floor. “I haven't seen that routine since 4th grade.”

You watch as he adjusts his legs a few times, his head resting against the armrest right by your fingers. It’s unspoken, but you know that he'll stay until he's sure you're asleep. 

"You don't have to sit on the floor," you murmur. "There's plenty of room up here."

He shakes his head. "Nah. I'm good here.”

You watch his side profile for a minute, basking in all of his Chan-ness. He settles in a bit more and lets his eyes flutter closed. When he does, he leans his head back a little more, and you watch the delicate bob of his Adam's apple as he swallows. 

“Chan?” Your mouth is moving before you know it. 

“Hm?”

“Were you scared? When you… got the diagnosis?”

His eyes open at that, and he turns his head so he can look at you. The intensity from earlier is gone, replaced by that familiar warmth that only he has.

There's a beat of silence where all Chan does is stare, almost as if seeing you for the first time. It passes, though, and then he goes back to his previous position, eyes closed again as he speaks. “No,” he says finally. “I wasn't scared. The only thing I thought about was you.”

“Me?”

He nods against the couch. “They kept talking about what it meant and all of that, and all I could think about was how on earth I was going to tell you.”

You reach a hand over and start rubbing at his scalp in the familiar way you've always done. “And yet,” you tease gently. “I had to accidentally find the papers.”

He makes a soft sound in the back of his throat, leaning into your hand. “That wasn't the plan,” he murmurs. “Was supposed to tell you properly.”

You stay quiet, continuing to play with his hair. The quiet domesticity is comforting, and you find your eyes fluttering closed too. 

You move your fingers through his hair in nonsensical patterns and shapes, occasionally letting your nails graze his scalp. His breathing evens out eventually--he's not sleeping, no, just content and peaceful. You're a different story, though, and medication induced drowsiness starts flowing its way through your body.

Your movements grow slower and uncoordinated, hand drifting lower, and lower, until eventually your fingers trail to the nape of his neck. When you drag your nails across the sensitive skin there, Chan makes a sound that shoots straight through you and straight to your core– something between a pleased hum and a growl that vibrates through his entire body.

Both of you freeze. Your heart starts doing gymnastics in your chest while the sound echoes in your ears, making your body grow hot. Beneath you, Chan is rigid, like every muscle has been pulled taut.

The room is entirely still for a second. Then, he clears his throat a little, shifting himself so you have better access. “Sorry,” he murmurs. “Keep going. Feels nice.”

You force your fingers to move again, continuing their exploration and tracing the curls on Chan's head. 

You repeat your mantra in your mind:

Everything is fine.

The moment passes like a summer storm– intense and fleeting– and soon Chan is relaxed again, practically melting under your touch. You're actively fighting sleep now but you're realizing it's a losing battle. Your movements become slower, less deliberate, until your hand is simply resting in his hair.

"Sleep, babygirl," he murmurs, voice thick and honeyed. "I got you.”

So you do.

When you wake up a bit later, you find yourself, sadly, alone.

In place of Chan's thick curls is the cold rectangular slab that is your cell phone. You squint at it sleepily, not remembering bringing it down with you for breakfast or having it on the couch. You flick through the unlock process, and when your phone opens, it's on the notes app.

Hi babygirl. If you're reading this, I went to the store. We don't have any vegetables. I'll try to be quick. - Channie

You wipe sleep from your eyes as you sit up, trying to orient yourself in your surroundings. You hear the steady whooshing of the rain outside and carefully flex all of your joints. You're content to find that you're at a steady three out of ten everywhere.

You settle back into the couch cushions, pulling the blanket around you tighter. It's not scary to be by yourself, especially not in the cabin,  but Chan's presence is definitely missed. You decide to fill the silence with television, something low stakes and stupid that you can listen to while you scroll on your phone.

However, the microscopic roku remote has decided to go missing, and after digging through the couch cushions twice, you sit back with a huff. You suppose your phone will do for now.

You open YouTube with the intent to watch one of your favorite Let's Play videos, but as you scroll through your homepage, something catches your eye. The title makes you pause:

Q&A: Genetic Lycanthropy Syndrome (aka The Werewolf Gene)

The algorithm strikes again, you suppose.

The video was posted a little over a month ago and has a substantial amount of views and comments. The creator themselves has well over 100k subscribers. It looks perfectly legit. Before you can overcomplicate it and talk yourself out of it, you press play.

“Hi everyone!” The guy on the video has a soft, smiling face, accented by round, thin-rimmed glasses. “Welcome or welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Seungmin, and I have GLS, which stands for Genetic Lycanthropy Syndrome. Or, to put it simply, I have the werewolf gene.”

You are immediately invested.

“I set up a question box on Instagram a couple days ago, and you guys really went to town.” Seungmin chuckles. “So I'll answer a few of those in this video.”

The first few questions are simple enough– what made him suspect he had it, the diagnostic process, how his family reacted. He answers every question thoughtfully and thoroughly in a way that makes you learn more than you thought you needed to.

You're writing down the fact that people with GLS tend to need more red meat than dark meat in their diet when he starts reading out the next question. 

“@jutdae asks, ‘how does the enhanced sense thing not drive you crazy?’” Seungmin lets out a little laugh. “So, the sense thing is kind of tricky for non-GLS people to understand. On a regular day, it might be enhanced, but maybe only 50% better than most people. The real issue is when rut or heat cycles start.”

You drop your phone, cursing when it slips right into the couch cushions.

“During a rut–” Seungmin's muffled voice continues as you fish around for your phone. “-- it's probably around 150% better. And our body temperature will skyrocket, like a constant fever type. The extra sensory input can cause a lot of restless energy too, so we're always feeling like we want to crawl out of our skin. Thankfully ruts, or heats for AFAB people, only happen once every three months, for about a week.”

You finally find your phone, heart pounding as you fumble to hold it still. The boy on your screen adjusts his glasses before continuing, entirely unaware how he's just flipped your life on its head.

“Well, that's for people who've presented for a while. When you first present with symptoms, you can get your rut every month. And that's… an entirely different type of intense. I surely don't miss that.”

Your brain might be oozing out of your ears.

You don't need to Google what a rut cycle is. You already know. It's the one aspect of GLS everyone is familiar with.

You scan through the events of the last 36 hours with unfathomable speed. It's all there. Every single symptom mentioned in this video. 

Extremely heightened senses. Restless energy. Fever-hot skin. 

Chan.

Chan hasn't been able to sit still. Chan's skin is hot to the touch. Chan keeps telling you when your pain is about to start because he can smell it. Chan brought you to an isolated cabin in the mountains.

Chan is in rut. Chan's diagnosis was only finalized less than a week ago. Ergo, this is his first rut.

The sound of a car door slamming makes you jump so hard that your phone flies away from the couch and skitters onto the floor.

Shit.

You scramble to grab it, swiping out of the video before Seungmin finishes answering what you're certain are other life changing questions. You can't hear anything he's saying, laser focused on the sound of Chan's impending footsteps and the sound of rustling grocery bags.

“Babygirl,” Chan's voice vibrates from the entryway. “I'm back. You awake?”

“Yeah,” you call, forcing yourself to sound steady. You clear your throat. “Yes, I'm up.”

You hear him put the bags down and toe off his sneakers, socked feet padding into the room where you are, undoubtedly, staring like a ghost came through the door and robbed you of your possessions. You fight to fix your expression into something normal, but all of that goes out the window when he steps into the threshold.

He's soaked. The rain has soaked through his shirt, making it cling to his chest and highlight every cut of his muscle. His curls are wild, some of them plastered to his forehead while others seem to be competing for the best pose. There's water dripping down his neck an–

You find a spot on the wall to look at instead. 

“Sorry I took so long.” He brushes his hair off of his face. “The store closest was closed, had to run way into town.”

“It's fine,” you squeak. He looks at you, eyebrows furred. “I was fine, just watched some YouTube. I wasn't up for long.”

He tilts his head, studying you with his nearly impossibly dark eyes. His lips push up, almost like he's pouting, but you watch as confusion takes over his gaze. He squints, and you burrow yourself further into the couch. If his smell is heightened, then he probably–

“You okay?”

You nod too enthusiastically. “Yes, of course. Why?”

He opens his mouth to say something, moves his body as though he'll take a step towards you, but he stops. You hold eye contact for a second, feeling small and exposed among his gaze. But then he nods almost imperceptibly, turning to grab his wet sweater from the entrance. 

“I'm gonna get changed and make us some lunch. Sandwiches?”

You nod.

“Good. Find us something to watch, yeah?”

As soon as he's gone up the stairs, you collapse back onto the couch, pressing your hands against your burning cheeks.

Okay. Okay.

You're probably– definitely – making this weird. Maybe you've read too many werewolf romance novels. Chan is going through something a lot more tangible than turning into a wolf and scampering off into the moonlight, and here you are, being a degenerate as usual. He brought you here because you're his best friend. Because he needs support.

The rut thing… is just a coincidence. Or maybe not even a big deal, or something he wants you to worry about. Yes. That's it. 

Distantly, you hear the shower turn on, and everything from your neck to the crown of your head lights aflame.

The remote chooses that moment to reappear, launching itself from the couch blanket and onto the floor. You snatch it up quickly, flicking on the TV and navigating to Netflix. You need something light. Something stupid. Something to fizzle out the charged energy in the atmosphere.

He'll handle himself… however that may be. You repeat this to yourself as you scroll through the comedy section, eyes blurring at the words in front of you. It's none of your business, anyway. You have one job right now, and that's finding something to watch.

You settle on a cooking show when you hear him coming down the stairs again. You focus on the TV, your mantra echoing around your skull as though you have no brain.

Everything is fine. You're fine. He's fine. 

“Worst Cooks in America?”

You nearly jump out of your skin. He's standing behind the couch, now wearing dry clothes– a zip up sweatshirt and loose sweats. You notice, entirely by accident, that there's no shirt under the sweater. Just plain, exposed skin.

Great. 

You hum out a noncommittal answer, just as he turns and heads to the kitchen, mentioning as he goes that he's using roast beef.  You listen to the sound of the fridge opening and the hum of the toaster as he plugs it in, no doubt solely to put your bread to toast, the same way you've eaten a sandwich since you were eight years old.

You can do this. You can act normal. You're an adult, and you have been for a few years. Things don’t have to be weird just because you now know that your best friend is a delicate, walking bundle of hormones. Chan clearly trusts you enough to have you here, and you're not going to mess that up by being a disaster about it.

You hear him humming in the kitchen, puttering about through the cabinets, the clink of plates on the counter. It's so normal, so Chan, that it almost makes you forget about everything else.

You shake your head, hoping to physically dislodge the memories of the noise he made when you were scratching his neck– the deep, rumbling groan that ran through your sleep-riddled body until stopping to wake you up where you're most sensitive. It was just a noise, you make noises all the time.

When he appears in the doorway with the two plates, all smiles and soft around the edges, you take a deep breath before returning the smile. 

You can do this. You can sit down next to Chan and watch the show and be normal. Everything is fine.

Probably.

… Maybe.

Everything is not fine.

The realization comes later in the night when the darkness from the storm bleeds into the darkness of late evening. It's nearing 10pm, and you and Chan are still seated on the couch together, now on opposing sides, still watching the same cooking show.

Or pretending to.

Chan seemed to be getting worse as the evening progressed. When he first came in from outside, he seemed calmer, less tense, but now he was sitting rigid, wound up like a toy no one would release. He was sweating an almost ridiculous amount, and the zip from his hoodie was pulled down to the middle of his stomach, exposing all the skin underneath.

His breaths were coming in short pants now. He had a steady grip on the fabric of his sweats, and you were almost certain that he'd tear a hole in them with the way he was grabbing them.

You weren't sure what to do.

You had tried nudging him with your foot gently a while ago, but when your skin made contact, he made another low sound in his throat that shot right up your leg and into your core. You pulled your foot away quickly, apologizing, making sure to press your knees together so the scent of arousal wouldn't reach him. 

And that was before he had started panting like… well, a dog. Now you weren't sure you'd be able to reach him through the fog of his own mind even if you screamed right in his face.

You're about to try saying something, anything as the episode that was playing ends, but he shoots up off the couch before you can think of words to say. He's pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes, visibly shaking with the effort of breathing normally.

“Chan,” you start.

He holds up a hand. “I'm– I'm okay,” he breathes. 

He's not. 

“The rain, I think,” he grits out. “Too loud. Too much. You're okay, though?”

Of course Chan would find the time to check on you while going through his own crisis. You sit up a little on the couch, staring at him even though he has his eyes covered. The words are coming out of your mouth before you can even think about what you're saying: “Do I smell okay?”

He grunts. You suddenly understand why cavepeople had so many kids. 

“Smell fine,” he breathes. He slides his hands down his face, fixing his gaze away from you. “You do, I mean. You smell good.”

It dawns on you then that maybe the newly awakened wolf-like part of his consciousness is reacting to your smell because you're a girl, and he's in a rut. Maybe you should leave the room, give him some space?

You're trying to find a way to ask if that's what he needs without giving away what you know, but he fiddles with the zipper of his hoodie again, wanting to tug it down some more. He stops, takes a deep breath, and then drops his hand.

“I think I need a second,” he says. His hands are twitching at his side. “Need my room. Need the quiet, yeah?”

You nod. That's fine. It's for the best anyway, right?  “That's okay. You can come back when you're ready.”

He nods, still not looking at you. There's a moment where he seems to hesitate, but whatever internal war he's having ends quickly, and he basically runs up the stairs. Just before you hear his door close, you hear the sound of his hoodie zipping down all the way.

Heat floods your face as you turn back to the show.

After a while of still failing to really pay attention, you pull your phone out from under the blanket. Despite the pure, unfiltered desire thrumming through your veins, you still want to help Chan. It's bothering you how bothered he is, how helpless he seems. There has to be something you can do for him.

You type, How to help a werewolf in a rut into your search bar, and after realizing very quickly that that's actually the title of an erotica series, you change your search to something more medical sounding.

It takes trial and error, but GLS and Rut Cycles Help seems to give you the best results.

You find a forum on a website dedicated to rare genetic disorders. It’s the one link that seems to have real information, ironically nestled between a fanfiction website and Twitter. 

You stop on a thread that catches your attention:

Non-GLS Roommate Here: Any way I can help with heats?

Not in that way, they write. But my roommate just presented with this disorder and she's absolutely miserable, and I feel so bad. I'm not trying to fuck her, but is there anything I can do to help?? Meds? Chocolate?? Leaving her alone??

There are only a handful of responses, mostly people lol-ing about how non-lycanthropes always think a heat cycle is like a period. One answer sticks out to you:

if it's her first heat, she's probably running a pretty high temp. make her some cold drinks to bring the temperature down and the hormones may follow. that used to work for me. ideally, try to convince her to take a cold shower, but her instincts might be telling her not to. it's a delicate game lol. don't press the shower thing if you don't want her to bite. like, literally. AFAB lycanthropes have a thing for biting idk

It makes sense now why Chan looked better when he came in from the rain. It was, essentially, the cold shower that he needed. You wonder briefly if you could convince him to go back out, but you decide against it. It's dark now, and you don't need him getting hurt.

So, instead, you peel yourself away from the couch and head into the kitchen. There's tons of juice cartons already in the fridge, but you bypass them, instead grabbing the bag of lemons and the carton of blueberries. 

The first time you made lemonade for Chan, the two of you were in fifth grade. You wanted to save money for the new and extremely expensive ride-on jeep that you saw in the store, and the only thing you could think to do was sell lemonade. You forced Chan (who had no interest in the car but wanted to help anyway) to sit down and taste batch after batch of your lemonade.

After he threatened to tell your parents you were trying to poison him, you made one last batch of the lemonade, and on a whim, dumped some blueberry syrup into it. He grumbled as he took the cup, but he couldn't hide his satisfied smile.

“That's the one,” he grinned. 

You never did save the money for the car, but you kept the lemonade recipe anyway. There was nothing your blueberry lemonade couldn't fix.

And you were prepared to add rut fevers to that list.

You dump a ton of ice in Chan's reusable water bottle before pouring the lemonade over it, putting the top on and swirling it around. You take a sip first, nodding in contentment when it nearly freezes the back of your throat.

With your phone in your back pocket and the lemonade in hand, you make your way up the stairs, pausing in front of Chan's bedroom door. A feeling of nervousness washes over you, but you beat it down with a stick. You're just delivering some lemonade. You'll be fine.

“Channie,” your voice is tentative as you knock. “You okay? I brought you a surprise.”

You listen carefully. You can't hear anything on the other side of the door. You don't wanna bang or yell, knowing his ears are probably sensitive already. You knock gently again, really straining your ears to hear.

He must be asleep, you think. You'll just leave the cup on the nightstand for him to find when he wakes up. You turn the doorknob and push open the door and–

Subsequently drop the cup on the floor.

Chan is not asleep.

Chan is very much awake.

He can't see you, no, because his eyes are closed and his head is tipped back against the headboard of his bed. His face and ears are red, and his lips are extra plump. You wonder why until he bites down on his bottom lip, hard.

You let your eyes trail down. He's touching himself.

Oh.

One of his hands is wrapped around his cock, pumping furiously like it's just not enough. The other hand is white knuckling the pillow you slept on last night, bringing it up to his face so he can no doubt inhale whatever leftover scent is on it. 

He has no idea that you're in the room. The pillow is already carrying your scent, so there's no intrusion to his senses. You should look away. You should go, you should…

You can't look away.

His hips are thrusting upwards to meet his hand now, his entire body writhing on the bed like he's trying to find the perfect spot. With his sweater open, you can see the contraction of his ab muscles as he moves, all the hard contours of his body chasing his pleasure. You watch as he twists his wrist, thumb sliding across the slit of his cock and smearing precum down the shaft. 

You hear him make a sound, almost like he's grunting, and then he's mumbling something under his breath. It's low, too low for you to really hear it, but when he speaks again, you definitely understand.

"Babygirl," he groans. He squeezes his cock at the base before stroking it again. "F-fuck, babygirl."

It's then that you squeak, slamming a hand over your mouth almost immediately. His eyes fly open and he shoots up, face panicked, but he doesn't stop moving his hand.

"I'm-- I'm sorry," you manage. "I came to-- I just-- Oh my God."

Chan's eyes are wild as he looks at you. His chest is heaving and his curls are sticking up all over the place. He looks pained and conflicted, likely warring within himself about whether he should stop or not. From the way his ears turn a deep shade of red, you can tell he thinks that he should.

He doesn't, though. He's still jacking himself off, faster and faster, even as he gives you a devastatingly desperate look.

"Fuck," he grunts. "I'm sorry. I can't-- you just smell so fucking good and I–” He pants, looking at you with eyes that can barely stay open. “I can't stop. Babygirl, make me stop."

Your brain is malfunctioning, but the part of it that can still process information has taken notice of what he's saying. You were right earlier. It's your smell. Your smell is driving him crazy because you're a fertile, childbearing aged female. It's not poorly contained last or a bad decision on his part.

It's biology. It's what that primal part of his brain needs.

Your body goes hot as you think of your next words.

"You..." you swallow around nothing. You're wearing socks, but the cold from the floor seems to seep into your feet. "You don't– um. Do you… need help?”

His pupils blow.

"I don't… I don't want to hurt you," he whines, chest heaving as his fist pumps faster. "You shouldn't."

"But I want to help," you breathe. You take a step closer to the bed, legs shaking from the sheer intensity of how fast your arousal hits. "What if I want to help?"

He stops then, staring at you with the same intensity he had last night. You feel stripped, exposed, but you don't feel unsafe.

You take another step closer.

"Chan," you whisper. You're at the foot of the bed now. "What if I want to?"

He makes a desperate noise in the back of his throat.

"I won't… touch you if you don't want me to." You take another step to the side of the bed, feeling somewhat bold under his gaze. "But I'll... I'll let you touch me, if you need. Whatever you want. Just... just tell me what to do."

You're only a couple steps away now. Chan is practically shaking with the effort it takes not to move, to wait for your permission. It's then that you realize he's waiting for you to make the first move, and all of the power shifts to you.

You're standing right next to him now, the two of you locked in an intensely heated gaze. He reaches for you silently with the hand not fisted around his cock, moving slowly like you'll dissolve if he's too eager. When you nod, his hand slides down the length of your arm, fingers interlacing.

Then–

"Please," he whispers. His voice cracks on the lone syllable. "Please, babygirl. I need you.”

He brings the hand he's holding over to his already throbbing cock, dragging your fingertips over the sensitive skin on his tip. His head rolls back again and his hips buck up. You try not to shiver.

"I just... I just need this," he breathes. "Please. I won't touch you, I'll be good."

Maybe it's the desperation in his voice. Maybe it's the way his eyes look so innocent, absolutely contrasting what he's begging you to do. Whatever it is, you let your tongue dart out to wet your lips, throat feeling incredibly dry as you stare down at him.

You wrap your fingers around his cock tentatively, not missing the way his body seems to come alive at your touch, and start moving up and down. He's already so hard, his entire shaft coated in his precum so you can slide up and down with ease. The sounds he's making are going straight to your core, and you can feel the way your underwear is sticking to you.

"Tight," he grunts. "Tighter, please."

You tighten your grip, speeding up a little bit. You feel him thrusting upwards to meet your hand, his hand squeezing yours like he needs the support to ground himself. You let your thumb brush over his tip, using his precum as lube to give him even more friction.

He cries out, back arching. "Yes," he chokes out. "Fuck, babygirl, do that again.”

You do, swiping your thumb across the slit and spreading more precum over him. It makes everything slicker and wetter, and the way you're able to move faster now has him moaning nonsensical little things.

His hips are bucking up harder now, and you watch as his abs tense and release, the hand not holding yours going up to tug on his hair. Your body feels like a loaded stick of dynamite, and you're so careful to keep your hips still, knowing how badly you want friction.

"M’close," he breathes. "Fuck, babygirl. You feel so good."

You pump faster, giving him the extra tightness and friction that he needs. You watch as the hand in his hair drops to his stomach, nails digging into his abs.

You wonder how long he was in here like this, pained and desperate. You try not to think about him moaning your name in the empty room, fucking up into his fist as he thinks about you, chasing your scent on his pillow.

Just because of the rut, your brain supplies. Because it would be absurd to think otherwise.

You glance up at his face. His eyes are screwed shut, lips parted as he pants and grunts and makes other sounds in the air. The look on his face is enough to make you clench around nothing. You've only been hot and bothered for the last 5 minutes and you already feel desperate to cum, so you can't imagine what he's going through.

You let your other hand reach up to cup his face.

"Chan," you murmur. "Look at me.”

He opens his eyes slowly, pupils completely blown as he meets your gaze. You see sweat sliding down the side of his face, and you wonder if it's from his fever or his pleasure.

"You're okay, babyboy," you whisper. His cock jumps in your hand at that. "You can cum, you know. You don't have to hold back."

"Wanna--wanna be good," he grunts. You feel him start to thrust faster. "Don't wanna hurt you."

"You're doing so good, Channie. You're not hurting me."

The two of you stare at each other for a moment before you drop your hand from his cheek and slide it down the column of his throat, letting your nails scratch across his skin. His reaction is immediate, body spasming as he groans.

"Shit," he cries. "Yes, right– right there, Oh my God."

"Yeah?" You scrape your nails across the base of his throat again, making sure to be a bit rougher this time.

He nods quickly, the grip on your hand tightening. You take your other hand off of him, drinking up the sound of his whine before you slide it underneath his hoodie, feeling his chest up. You scrape your nails over his pecs, making him jolt a little.

"C'mon, Channie," you coo. "You're okay. I want you to cum for me."

He lets out a strangled sound, hips bucking up into your fist even faster now. His head falls back again and you see the muscles in his neck strain.

"Please," he chokes out. "I need-- I need--"

You slide your hand from his chest back up to his neck, finding the spot from earlier that made him make that deliciously memorable noise. When you drag your nails across it, his hips stutter in their rhythm, and that's the only warning you have before his entire body is convulsing with pleasure.

"Oh, fuck," he grunts. "Babygirl, fuck–”

His cock pulses in your hand as he cums, releasing all over himself and your fingers. You stroke him through it, gently moving your hand up and down until he's spent.

Then, there's silence.

You're not sure what you expect. Maybe for him to turn over and go to sleep, or for him to act bashful and apologetic, letting you know it won't happen again.

You certainly aren't expecting for him to grip your hips and lift you up onto the bed. Or for him to gently push you down on your back. Or for the desperation in his face to be replaced with something harder, something more in control and dominating as he says, “Please let me eat your pussy, babygirl.”

You almost choke.

You feel like you should protest. Tell him he doesn't have to, that this is already more than you thought you would ever get. But then he's sliding his hands up under your shirt, and the only thing your mouth can form is a moan.

He's never seen you naked, always a respectable gentleman, but there's no hesitation or uncertainty in the way his hands move around your body. He's not tentative and gentle like you expected; he's touching and pinching and running his nails along your skin like he's done this before, like he knows all your spots. He reaches your chest, where you have no bra, and rubs his thumb across your already hardened nipple. Your back arches and your legs fall open for him with a groan, letting him slot himself in the now empty spot.

He pulls his hand away, moving up to your face and cupping your jaw so you can look at him. He's looking down at you with dark eyes.

"Please?”

He's asking, you know, but there's nothing gentle in the way he's looking at you. You nod as best as you can, and he brings his hand down from your jaw to your chin, fingers sliding over your lips. You feel him nudge his thumb against your bottom lip, and you take the hint.

You open your mouth for him, letting him slide his thumb inside and rub it across your tongue. He's looking down at you intensely as you swirl your tongue around his finger, and when you suck on it a little, he lets out a grunt.

"Fuck," he breathes. He pulls his thumb away, watching as a string of saliva connects it to your lips. "You're gonna let me make you feel good, yeah?”

You nod again, but he gives a little humorless chuckle, head tilting at you.

"Use your words babygirl."

"Yes." Your voice is quiet. "Yes, I want you to.”

He stares at you for another moment. You watch his eyes dart across your face, your body, before settling on your lips again. He leans down then, hovering just above you as he licks his own lips.

"Gonna kiss you now," he murmurs. "That okay?"

You fear you look stupid, the way you're just staring up at him, jaw slacked and eyes going in and out of focus. You nod anyway, trying to act normal.

Or as normal as you can, under the circumstances.

He doesn't waste any more time after that. He leans down the rest of the way, pressing his lips against yours. It's slow at first, a sweet little thing that makes you feel warm and safe. You sigh into it, eyes fluttering closed.

But then he licks a stripe across your bottom lip, and you let out a pathetic little whimper, lips falling open just enough for him to slot his tongue in your mouth. He kisses you like he needs it to breathe. It's desperate, burning, hot and filthy. He's licking into your mouth, his teeth nipping at your lips. You try to press your thighs together again, but his strong, muscular slab of body is between them, forcing them open.

His hands slide down your sides and settle on your hips. Your shorts do nothing as a barrier, and you feel every modicum of heat in his hands. He slips those warm hands into the waistband of both your shorts and panties, sliding them down your body antagonizingly slowly.

He sits back on his knees then, pulling them both all the way off before tossing them to the side. Then he leans forward again, pressing wet kisses to the skin right below your belly button.

"Chan," you breathe.

"S'okay baby," he mumbles against your skin. You feel a new wave of wetness flow through you. How could your usual nickname be even hotter with half of it missing?

Then he's moving his mouth down, down, down, and you feel him pressing his nose to your slit.

"Oh god," you whine.

"I know," he murmurs. You feel his tongue press against your clit, and your entire body spasms. He chuckles, wrapping his arms around your legs and squeezing your thighs to hold them open. "I know babygirl.”

He licks you again, making you groan out loud. You can't help but bring one hand up to his curls, weaving your fingers through them and tugging on them like you've always wanted to. He responds by moaning, the vibrations shooting straight to your core.

You feel his tongue dip lower, spreading your wetness around. He dips it into your entrance, tongue fucking you at such a languid pace you feel like you'll fall apart. You hear him groan against your cunt again, and his hands tighten on your thighs.

"So wet, baby," he murmurs. "Taste so good.”

He presses his tongue to your clit again, and you pull on his hair harder. He grunts, and you feel him rutting up against the bed, his cock hard again, chasing some form of relief. 

"Please baby," he mumbles against you. "Want you to cum for me. Please."

You know yourself, know what gets you going and what really makes you cum, so you want to tell him that it's going to take more than this, that you're not there yet, but you don't get a chance to before he's sliding a finger inside of you, curling it up and finding your spot with such accuracy your vision goes white.

You feel him suck on your clit then, swirling his tongue around it as he slides another finger inside of you. You tug on his hair again, not even realizing that you're grinding up against his face.

You feel yourself getting closer, chasing the release you've been desperate for since he pulled you onto the bed. His fingers curl inside of you again, pressing that spot and making you scream out his name.

"Yeah?" Chan groans against you, voice hoarse and desperate. "Like that? S'okay baby, let go."

"Chan," you choke. You're so, so close. "Chris. Chris.”

He moans at that, speeding up his fingers and moving his tongue even faster.  He's rocking himself up against the mattress with more urgency now, panting and moaning with his mouth pressed to your cunt.

"C'mon babygirl," he mumbles. "Need you to cum. C'mon, please. Need it."

He presses his fingers into that spot again, and you're gone. You arch up off of the bed as you cum, his name ripping itself from your throat as he fucks you through it. You feel your cunt pulsing around his fingers as you ride out your orgasm. He keeps licking, his moans sending vibrations straight up your spine until you're over sensitive, tugging on his hair for him to back away. He does, but not before pressing wet kisses to the inside of your thigh.

He sits up then, his hair sticking up all over the place from where you've been pulling on it. He's sweaty and breathing hard, his lips swollen and red from where you were kissing him. You feel his eyes roam over your body, and you know that if you look down, you'll see how your skin is flushed from your ears down to your chest.

He's still sporting a semi, but his focus isn't on that anymore. He gathers you up in his hands, pulling you with him to the top of the bed and settling you with him on the pillows. He presses a kiss to your forehead, pulling you to rest your head on his chest.

"Sleep," he says into your hair. You notice how his body temperature has dropped-- he doesn't feel like an inferno anymore.

You're too tired to do anything but whine gently at the way he's holding you, too relaxed and spent to say anything. You feel sleep pulling at your eyes as he fixes your shirt over you carefully.

"Ah, shit," he murmurs. "Gotta clean you up. Then I'll come right back, yeah?”

You nod, trying to fight off sleep just a little longer. He presses a kiss to your hair before sliding out of the bed, going to the bathroom and coming back with a warm washcloth. You feel him wipe you down gently, and you mumble out something that might've been a thank you.

He takes the washcloth back to the bathroom, coming back to join you in bed. He pulls you back on top of him, settling the blankets over the two of you.

You're asleep before he can even kiss your forehead again.

When you wake up in the morning, you do your usual pause to see what does and doesn't hurt. You're mostly pain free, you realize sleepily, except for a dull ache in your hips and knees and a pleasant soreness in your–

Oh shit.

Everything slams back into you at once. The lemonade, Chan, him begging for you in more ways than one. It feels like you've been doused in cold water and tossed off of a bridge.

You go to sit up, but when you make an attempt to move, you feel an impossibly heavy weight around your midsection. Said weight snores a bit, and you realize that it's Chan's arm draped across you.

He's sleeping soundly next to you, hair still ruffled and unruly from where you were pulling it, lips still slightly swollen and red. The blankets are pulled up to his chin, hiding his body from view.

Your face burns as you try to really remember everything that happened last night, either to orient yourself through the brain fog or torture yourself. You're not entirely sure. Chan was... he was in rut, you knew that much. And you offered to help. Then he ate you out and gave you what was probably the most intense orgasm of your life, and then you fell asleep.

Typical stuff. Of course.

The memories are still there, but the reality of the situation has you panicking. His eyes are still closed, so you don't have to deal with the embarrassment of him catching you staring, but you're frozen anyway.

You're immediately hit with the overwhelming realization that you just made a mistake. There's no way you can possibly continue to keep your feelings for Chan a secret after this, no way that you can pretend you don't know what his amazingly deft fingers feel like inside of you. How would you ever be able to look him in the face again?

A vibrating sound pulls you from your spiral. For a second, you wonder if it's coming from Chan, but you recognize that, no matter what genetic issue he has, a person cannot vibrate. 

The sound is actually coming from just off the side of the bed, where your shorts and panties lay discarded. You reach over and pluck your phone from the back pocket, turning it over to see an unfamiliar number flashing across the screen.

You're about to send it to voicemail when your heart sinks like lead along with recognition in your chest. It's the genetic clinic.

You're untangling yourself from Chan's arms in record speed, shirking your shorts on and stepping into the hallway. He doesn't stir, thankfully, but you still close the door gently behind you anyway.

"Hello?" You breathe.

The nurse on the other side of the line greets you enthusiastically, and after confirming you are the intended recipient of the phone call, she asks you to hold while she transfers you to the doctor. You wait anxiously for a minute or two, pacing your way to the kitchen island and picking at the skin around your fingers while you listen to the generic hold music.

"Good morning," the doctor says as she comes on the line. She, too, sounds far too chipper. "I apologize for the wait, I was in the middle of rounds when your nurse flagged me down."

"That's okay," you say. Pleasantries feel superficial right now.

"Right, so. We did get some of your preliminary genetic results back," she says. You can hear pages being turned on the other side of the line. "I wanted to let you know that, unfortunately--"

The floor falls from under your feet.

"-- You did test positive for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Classical type."

You can't really hear anything else she's saying. Something about coming back in, maybe. About starting physical therapy. Taking care of yourself. You feel sick, like you might pass out. Or throw up. 

You manage to push through the rest of the conversation, your voice sounding far away even to your own ears. She lets you know that she's sending follow-up information to your email, says that it's important to have support at such a time like this, and you make a very non committal grunt of acknowledgement before ending the phone call. Your phone chatters on the island, the sound echoing in the empty space.

You can't even form a concept of a thought before your chest feels tight, like there's a rubber band stretching across your ribs and pulling taut. You skin suddenly feels like there are a million and one tiny sets of feet thrumming underneath it. It's too hot. Your shirt is choking you. It's all suddenly too much at once: last night with Chan, the diagnosis, the way you're feeling an ache building in your back.

You need to move. You need to get out.

You're up the stairs before you can really process it, standing in front of your suitcase and rifling through it with speed. You find a pair of sweats and what you’re almost certain is Chan's old hoodie, but you toss them on quickly anyway.

The air is crisp when it hits your face a few moments later. It's exactly what you need. The path around the cabin is familiar– you've walked it countless times during family trips and weekend getaways. You know exactly where to step to avoid the mud, which trees mark the loop back to the house.

You walk until your legs burn, until the tears on your face dry in the cold air. Your mind races with everything and nothing at once.

Classical EDS. Your PCP was right about it being a connective tissue disorder. EDS explains the tummy aches, the racing heart, the migraines, and most obviously, the joint pain. There's no cure. Just management. Just a lifetime of being careful, of physical therapy, of putting in insane amounts of effort to make sure your joints don't fucking disintegrate.

You find this to be the most manageable of all the issues at the moment. 

But Chan…

God, Chan. What were you thinking? He was in rut, vulnerable and needing comfort, and you just... what? Offered yourself up like some kind of heathen? Let him touch you in ways you've only dreamed about, knowing full well it would change everything?

This feels like the biggest issue to you, you realize when you pause on a tree stump. Because if you lose Chan, from something you initiated, you will lose everything else. He is the center of your universe, and everything revolves around him. You can't lose him, especially not over your own stupidity.

You think about going back. Talking to him. Maybe trying to convince him that you're fine, that he doesn't have to worry about you. That you don't like him like that, and you were just being a good friend and helping.

But then you remember his face when he came, eyes rolling into the back of his head as he moaned out your name. The way his fingers felt inside of you. How good he smelled.

You'll never be able to forget any of it now, you realize. And it will tear you apart if you lose him because of it.

You realize you've been walking much longer than intended when you catch a glimpse of the position of the sun. The morning chill has given way to a warmer temperature, though your face still feels numb from the wind. Your joints are definitely making themselves known now.

You suppose you may as well head back, even if you don't have any idea what you’re going to do when you have to face Chan. You can't stay out and freeze.

As you round the final bend that leads back to the cabin, you see him.

Chan is standing on the front porch, shirtless despite the cold, his hands visibly shaking at his sides. He's looking in the opposite direction, but you see when your scent hits him, because he whips around and his eyes lock onto you immediately. There's a look on his face that makes your chest ache– he looks terrified, like he's been coming apart at the seams.

You both freeze in your spots, an echo of that moment at the clinic. The silence stretches between you, heavy with everything unsaid. You notice then that his eyes are red, not the same red tint you now recognize from his rut, no. This is the red tint from that day he had to drive you to the hospital.

He's been crying.

“Where–” his voice is labored. “Babygirl. Where have you been?”

"I just..." you gesture vaguely at the path behind you. "I needed some air."

He takes a step forward, then seems to think better of it, stopping himself in his tracks. "You weren't... you were gone when I woke up. Your phone was on the counter, I couldn't... I didn't know where…”

He makes a pained noise in his chest, and then you see his entire face crumble. He pulls one of his arms up to his face, covering his eyes as you hear him start to cry.

Your heart breaks in two.

You rush to him as quickly as your protesting legs will allow, taking the stairs two at a time until you're in front of him. You reach up to gently pull his arm down, but he jerks away, a wounded noise escaping from his mouth.

"No," he cries. "You shouldn't–  don't touch me. I'm sorry.”

“Chris,” you breathe, hoping to cut through his emotional fog. “Chris, please, look at me.”

“Tell me what I did.”

You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion. “What?”

“What did I do wrong?” His voice cracks around the words. “Last night, I couldn't… control myself. And you were so good to me and then– you were gone.”

"Chan, no." You reach for him again, and this time he lets you pull his arm down. His face is streaked with tears, those big brown eyes red and swollen. "You didn't do anything wrong."

He shakes his head violently, words tumbling out around hiccups. "Then why did you leave? Why didn't you wake me up? I woke up and you were gone and I couldn't– your scent was gone and I couldn't–"

A sob cuts him off. You grab his hand and tug him towards the door. "Let's go inside. Please? It's freezing out here.”

He lets you tug him inside, at least just until you can close the door. You try to bring him over to the couch, but he's stubborn, keeping his feet planted where they are. He won't look at you, keeping his gaze downcast no matter how much you tug on his arm. You let go after a tense moment, sighing and wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Chan. The clinic called,” you say softly. “Thats why I left. My results came back.”

His head snaps up at that, understanding settling over his face. “You… did you test positive for–”

“Classical Ehlers Danlos,” you supply.

He looks like he'll cry all over again, reaching his hand out to you before pulling it back to his side. He squeezes his hands in and out of fists a few times before he shakes his head, tilting his head back until he's staring up at the ceiling.

“I'm so sorry,” he breathes. “Last night… I shouldn't have–”

“Stop, please,” you cut him off, voice hoarse in the quiet. You've run out of energy. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

“No, I did everything wrong. I thought I could handle it, thought it wouldn't be too much. Everyone told me it was a bad idea but I didn't want to listen, thought I could control myself.”

You feel bile rising in your throat. “What?”

He shakes his head again. “I shouldn't have said yes.”

He murmurs it, but the cabin is dead silent, so there's no way you don't hear it. There's no way you can misinterpret what he means either. Last night. He shouldn't have said yes when you asked if he needed help.

You take a step back, and you watch his face crumble a bit more. “Right.” Your voice sounds hollow. “It's fine. It was a mistake anyway."

"A mistake?" Now he looks confused through his tears. "No, that's not–"

"It's okay, Chan." You force a smile that feels like it might crack your face in half. You need to end this conversation now so you can go cry in your bed. "We can just forget it happened. You were in rut, I was... available. It's fine."

"Available." He deadpans. His gaze loses some of the previous softness. "Is that what you think? That I just... used you because you were there?”

You find yourself backing away towards the stairs, already mentally checked out. “Isn't it? You said it yourself last night, it was just my scent.”

His face flashes through so many emotions, you're not sure how you would begin parsing through them. He settles on something that looks like a mix of thinly veiled disgust and anger. He fixes his posture until he's back up to his full height now, brown eyes ablaze.

You decide to turn away from him fully at that moment. Whatever this is, this half argument you're having, it can wait until you've taken a good nap. You prepare to climb the stairs, keeping one hand on the railing and one foot on a stair.

That's about as far as you make it before you feel the unmistakable heat of Chan behind you. You stifle back the gasp that threatens to spill when he presses himself right up against your back, head dipped down so he's right by your ear.

“Ask me why,” he breathes. 

You shiver at the feeling of his breath on your ear, and your entire body lights up in record time. You've forgotten how to speak, maybe.

So, you eloquently stutter out a simple, "What?"

He slides a hand around you, reaching from the base of your back all the way to your stomach, pulling you closer to him. “Babygirl. I said, ask me why.”

You swallow thickly. His voice is still hoarse and low from the crying, and it sends a shiver up your spine that rocks your body so hard, you think you would fall if not for the strong arm around you.

"Why," you breathe. The word has no conviction in it. You're getting dizzy.

He leans even closer to you, lips brushing the shell of your outer ear. "Because," he murmurs. "Yes, your scent smells so fucking good. So sweet and warm. But I don't want you because you smell good, baby. I want you because you smell like you're mine.”

You whimper involuntarily at that, and you feel him inhale sharply. His other hand reaches up to hold your chin, tilting your head up towards him. You're looking at each other now, his eyes blown wide and his pupils blown so black, there's barely any brown left.

"Do you understand me, babygirl?" He's breathing hard against you. "Even under the harsh scent of your pain, or the saccharine scent of when you're happy, something in you always smells like you belong to me. Do you know why?"

Your knees feel weak. Not from pain, but because of whatever is happening right now. You let out a pathetic mewl in Chan's hold and watch his nostrils flare. 

"Because you are mine. My mate. You hear me, baby? Mine.”

Then he's tilting your head to the side and kissing down the column of your throat, nipping just hard enough to send electricity through your body. You whine, unable to stop the way your body arches into his touch. 

He makes a low, rumbling sound in his chest, pulling away just long enough to look you in your eyes again. "Wasn't using you," he huffs, saying the word use like it leaves a nasty flavor in his mouth. "I needed you, needed your scent around me to make it better. I couldn't control myself, baby."

He spins you around so that you're facing him now, hands still wrapped around your waist. You think he's about to kiss you, but you see a wave of clarity and seriousness push everything else to the side.

“They asked me at the clinic,” he starts, shuffling with you in his arms until you're back in the living room with him. “If something happened to a family member, or if I had a girlfriend who was hurt.”

You're hanging on to every word, unable to look away from his eyes.

“I told them no to both, but I told them about the hospital, about how you called me crying cause you were in so much pain, and you just kept passing out on me. I told them about how scared I was that if I left the hospital, I would come back and you wouldn't be there. You'd be gone. It was ripping me apart.”

You reach up to touch his face without thinking, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. He leans into the touch like he can't help himself.

“I presented because I wanted to protect you down to my very DNA. I was going so crazy about you that my body needed a way to protect me– protect you.”

“Chan,” you breathe.

“They said my inner wolf, that primal part of me, recognized it as my mate being in pain, and I was powerless to stop it. It's you, babygirl. It's always been you.”

The hopeless romantic in your heart is giddy. 

You think about how you'd tried to touch him during the drive up, how he'd pulled his hands away like he was in pain. You supposed maybe he was. Going through his first rut, stuck in an enclosed space with his mate, unable to do anything about it.

You can't imagine the amount of restraint it probably took him to remain normal. The sheer thought of it alone has you blinking back up at him, looking right in his eyes.

With the eye contact, you feel his body swell microscopically, like he's flaxing every muscle so he can look bigger, more threatening, but he is neither of those things to you.

To you he is just Chan.

You're rising up on your toes before you even know what's happening, hand sliding up Chan's neck to pull him down towards you and catching his lips in a hot, burning kiss. 

The hand around your waist tighten's its grip, slotting you even further against his body.

It feels like home. It feels like safety.

You feel his growing bulge press against you, and you hum into the kiss. 

It feels like perfection.

"M'Sorry," he slurs against your mouth. He makes no effort to pull away. "Still in rut. Sensitive."

You say nothing, sliding your free hand down his chest, over his stomach until you reach what you're looking for. You rest your hand over it softly, not grabbing or pressing, but he responds like you do, grunting and rutting up against your hand as he starts panting.

"Babygirl," he groans. "Baby, please."

You start moving your hand in earnest now, cupping his bulge through his sweats as he grinds up against you. His eyes flutter closed and he pulls away from the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours.

"God, I wanna fuck you so bad," he grunts. "Wanna be inside. Wanna cum inside you so deep you'll never forget who you belong to. Make myself your alpha."

It's insane how your body reacts to that. You feel your clit jump in your underwear. The Alpha/Omega thing wasn't real-- or at least wasn't based on any science with the condition, but the way Chan speaks, the way his grunts sound so close to your ear, you believe it could be.

"You're gonna let me, right?" He whines. "Please? I'll make you feel so good. Been so good for me already baby. Just wanna make you cum on my cock."

Your moan gets caught in your throat when he slides a hand down your body to grip the swell of your ass. Between that and feeling him, rock solid against you, your entire body comes back to life with desperate, almost delirious need.

"Yes," you breathe. "Yes, Channie, please. Want you. Please."

His chest vibrates with a growl and he wastes no time pushing you back until you're laying against the couch. He kneels over you, large hand reaching down and palming himself through his sweats.

He notices what you're wearing at that moment. He reaches his free hand down, gripping the material of your– his – hoodie. It's entirely too big for you, even when you're standing, but laying back like this, the material absolutely dwarfs you. 

He must like the sight of it, because you watch him grip himself tight.

"Fuck, babygirl. You don't know what you do to me. Wearing my clothes? Are you even wearing anything under that?"

Feeling bold, you reach down and pull the hem of the sweater up, just enough so that he can see the expanse of skin right under it. When he looks back at your face, you give him an innocent expression, eyes wide and blinking.

He doesn't even bother taking anything off, just pulls his cock out of his sweats and starts stroking himself again. You feel your mouth go dry just from the sight of it– hard and flushed red, precum dripping from the tip. You grip the material of his sweater tighter.

“Gonna be good, baby?" he breathes. "Wanna get off like this."

You nod, unable to form a coherent sentence. He looks fucking delicious above you, cock in hand as he strokes himself faster now, moaning at the way you look underneath him.

"Gonna make myself cum on your stomach," he grunts. "Mark you. Then I'll fuck you until you're screaming, so everyone knows who you belong to.”

You feel your cunt throbbing in your underwear. You cant help the way you whine out his name, the way you squeeze your thighs together to try to get some relief. He looks like he's going to explode just from hearing you say his name like that.

He leans over you, bracing one hand on the back of the couch by your head, effectively caging you in. You can feel how his muscles flex under your hands as you touch him, sliding your palms up and down his chest. You find your eyes locked onto his hand, watching the way he moves up and down.

"Couldn't stop thinking about you," he breathes. "Fucked my fist so many times wishing it was you.”

You wrap your arms around him, one hand going up to that special spot at the base of his neck. As you graze your nails against it, he turns his face, pressing his nose into the pulse point on your wrist, inhaling you and your smell.

He starts moaning louder, breath fanning across your arm as he gets closer and closer to the edge. You're so turned on from it, you feel like you might actually cum without a hand to your body.

"Babygirl," he grunts. "Baby, fuck. I'm close."

You pull him down to you, pressing his face right into your neck. You can feel how his eyelids flutter as his eyes roll back, the arm by your head straining with how tightly he's gripping the couch.

"Gonna let your alpha cum on your stomach, baby? Mark you?”

You nod quickly. You feel him lean in even more, brushing his lips against the soft part of your throat where he no doubt can feel your erratic pulse. You right into his ear, and then he's groaning out your name and nipping at your throat hard, all teeth and tongue and need as he spills all over you.

He makes sure to press his body flush against you while he rides out his orgasm, so that his cum splatters all over your stomach. He grinds up against you with his hips, making sure his cock slides along the fabric of his sweater. You watch him get lost in it, eyes screwed shut as he mouths at your throat, panting and moaning through his high.

Then he stills, just a bit. He pulls away from your neck, his pupils still completely blown as he looks down at you.

You're not sure what he sees when he does. You know sweat is starting to stick to your skin, plastering little bits of your hair to your face. Despite not being touched yet, you feel absolutely cock drunk if only on the sight of Chan alone.

You can't tell if that's what he sees, but whatever it is, it makes his still-hard cock jump against where it rests on your stomach. He's pushing himself up to sit on his knees before you even remember your own name.

He slides down the couch until his face is level with your hips. He pulls the waistband of your sweats down just enough for your cunt to be exposed, and then he's leaning forward, dragging his tongue along your slit.

"Fuck," you cry, body jolting. "Chan."

He doesn't respond verbally, just hums and pulls back enough to stare at your dripping cunt. You find your hips bucking up when he lets his mouth water just enough to drool right on you.

He dives back down to your cunt and pushes his tongue inside of you. You feel him moan against you as he licks you, slow and deliberate. You can hear how wet you are, and you feel yourself throb around his tongue when you hear it.

"I kept noticing your scent change," he says against your clit. He gives it a few kitten licks before diving down and flattening his tongue on you, licking and slurping you from end to end. "Sometimes, I would look at you, or touch you, and you smelled like citrus. Couldn't figure out why."

He takes those absurdly plump lips and suctions them around your clit, one strong arm coming to hold you down when you arch up off the bed.  "Thats just your scent when you're aroused," he continues, nudging his nose against your clit. "Smells so fucking good."

You're certain you might be delirious at this point. The way Chan eats you out feels so much better than anything else you've ever felt, and his tongue has you hurdling to the crest of your orgasm faster than you can believe.

"Oh. Ohh," you whimper. "Channie, m'so close."

"That's my good girl," he murmurs. His lips are still right against your clit. "You're so perfect baby. Let me make you feel good. Want you to cum for me."

He slides his tongue back inside of you, and you feel a hand come up to play with your clit. You're so dangling off the edge, so ready to jump with the right push. You just need a little more, but then you feel a finger slide inside of you and crook up.

You're gone. You cum with a shout of Chan's name, arching up off of the couch as your body shakes from the intensity of it all. He licks you through it, pulling away only when you start to whine and wiggle around from the sensitivity.

He sits back on his knees again, watching you pant on the couch as you try to collect yourself. You look over at him when you catch your breath, and you see him licking his fingers clean.

He leans over you again, and you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down. You don't bother asking first, just slot his lips to yours in a desperate kiss. It's absolutely wet and filthy, the flavor of yourself bursting over your tongue when he swipes into your mouth. You suck on his tongue, hard, and he groans into your mouth, hands sliding up under the sweater to touch your bare skin.

"Gonna fuck you good now," he grunts against your lips. You whine and press your body into his. "Okay, baby? Do you think you're ready for me?"

"Yes, Chris," you sigh. He pulls away from the kiss gently to stare at you. Despite the haze of his rut, you can see a hesitancy in his eyes, like there's something he wants but he's not saying. It takes all of two seconds for you to connect the dots.

"Please, Alpha?" you whine.

That seems to be the magic word, because he's lifting you up into his arms and standing up from the couch immediately. In a split second, you're pressed up against the wall next to the TV. You're very thankful for the layer between your bare skin and the freezing cold wall.

He wraps your legs around his waist, and suddenly you can feel the heat of his erection right on you. He presses his cock between your folds, holding you tight while he ruts up into you. 

You're so wet that the head catches against your entrance every so often, making both of you moan into each others mouths.

"Thank you, baby," he murmurs, uncharacteristically soft at a moment like this. "'m so grateful. So--" He lets out a pant, eyes rolling back as he lets his head drop back too. "Fuck."

You know Chan well enough to know what he's trying to say. He's thanking you for accepting him, for coming back to him, for letting him be vulnerable.

How could you not? He was so distressed by your wellbeing that a distant part of his DNA woke up to protect you. He ignored his doctor's orders to take you on this trip because he knew you needed it. He was content to suffer through his first rut in silence if it meant just taking care of you.

How could you not love all that he is?

You learn forward and nip him right as his pulse point, and his whole body jerks. You know werewolf lore, know that a bite there means a forever. You don't have the same genetic syndrome, but God do you want to be in his arms forever. You don't even feel like you need to question it.

His eyes, heavily lidded, find their way to your face. "You know what that bite means, right baby?" His voice is hoarse, and even when he clears his throat at your responding nod, it doesn't get better. "You wanna mark me there, babygirl? Make me yours?”

You nod, sliding your mouth up his throat until your lips are pressed right against his ear. You slide your tongue over his lobe and tug on it. "Please alpha. Wanna show everyone who you belong to."

He snakes a hand up your back until he finds your hair, fingers tangling in the roots as he grips, pulling your head back. "I mark you first," he grits out. "Let alpha take care of you."

You can't help the way you go pliant, letting your head fall to one side just enough to expose your neck to him. You watch his eyes and make your expression as wanting as possible.

He groans at that, finally pulling you away from the wall just enough so that he can line himself up. He pushes his tip right into you, and you press your forehead against his, the mixed sounds of your breathing being the only thing filling the atmosphere.

"I love you," he sighs. Your heart squeezes in your chest. "Gonna take such good care of you always, yeah?"

"I love you more, Chan," is your breathy reply.

"I'll give you everything," he sighs. "Everything you want. I just need you to come on my cock first, yeah? The alpha's got you. I got you."

Then he's pushing in slowly, and you both sigh as he bottoms out. You cling to him, pressing your face into his neck as he fucks you slowly into the wall.

He keeps it slow, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your forehead and hair, telling you how good you feel, how perfect you are for him, how you were made just for him. You're already feeling the pressure building up in your stomach again, barely paying attention to what he's saying. 

"Gonna breed this tight little pussy," he murmurs at some point. You do hear that, and you clench hard around him, making him groan.

"Oh fuck," he gasps. "You want my seed, huh? Want me to fuck my seed in you, angel?"

Your walls around him again, swallowing him up. You know you can't get pregnant-- birth control and all of that-- but the idea of him filling you up has your body begging for more. You dig your nails into the skin of his back and you feel him throb inside of you. He makes a sound between a grunt and a moan, slamming his hips into yours, cock sliding into you deeper than before.

"Fuck," he breathes. "Fuck, m'so close already. Think you can you cum with me angel? Hm?"

You nod, clinging to his shoulders as you bounce up and down on his cock. It feels so good, too good, and you're already so close yourself.

"Chris," you whine. "I'm– fuck, I'm close."

"I know, babygirl," He sounds so wrecked. "I'm right behind you. You can cum for me baby. Cum for your alpha. Want you to cum on me, please."

He presses a kiss to your neck, right over your pulse point, and that's all it takes to send you tumbling over the edge. You cry out his name, letting him fuck you through it while your cunt pulsates around him. You feel him twitch in you, a deep guttural moan leaving his lips as he slams into you one last time, spilling all his cum inside of you.

He bites you then.

Its not painful, not really, because he doesn't break skin. His teeth aren't sharp enough for that. The bite is more performative than anything, but it sends a shockwave through your body.

 It's a strange feeling, almost like your blood is simmering under your skin, but you're so lost in the bliss of your orgasm that you don't even care. It feels right, anyhow. Like the final missing piece to a puzzle you've been spending a lifetime constructing.

He stays there for a second, sucking a bruise into your neck. His hands are shaking, but he's holding you tight enough that you don't even worry about falling.

Then, he licks the spot on your neck where he bit, soothing whatever pain he might've caused. He pulls away from you just enough to press a kiss to your lips, still holding you up with his cock in you.

"I love you," he whispers. "My mate. Mine."

You reach a hand up to touch his neck, and he tilts his head to the side, giving away to the instincts thrumming under his skin. You take your fingers and trace them along the column of his throat, stopping just under his Adam's apple. 

You don't say anything at first, just lean forward and press your lips against the same spot. Your bite is more restrained, more gentle. He hisses out a strangled sound, and you would assume it was pain if you didn't feel his cock pulse in you.

When you pull away, you look at him, a small smile on both of your incredibly fucked out faces. You lean forward and press a little kiss to his lips.

"I love you too," is your quiet reply. "My mate."

As promised, he's so gentle with you afterwards, cleaning you up and giving you your medication when he scents your hips are about to ache. The entire ordeal is so familiar, so cozy, you wonder how you could've ever let yourself believe that Chan didn't love you too.

Hours later, when you're cuddled together on the couch, dozing off in his lap, you hear him whispering something against your hair. Your mind is so muddled with sleep you can barely make out the words he's saying.

You string together something about mates, something about how he'll protect you, how you're his everything, how he loves you so much.

It doesn't really matter though. You know already, because he's yours, and you're his.

His everything.

[ladysharmaa]

Heir

Anthony Bridgerton x reader

summary: telling Anthony she's with child after facing difficulties getting pregnant

It's been three years since the wedding between Anthony Bridgerton and Y/n. The love between the two was one of the strongest anyone could have ever seen, it was obvious that they were made for each other.

They met in a very unusual way. While Anthony was courting Edwina Sharma, Y/n was seen very close to Benedict, the two of them discreetly courting each other. However, they both quickly realized that the connection between them was better as a friendship than a romantic relationship, where things seemed quite forced and uncomfortable. At the same time, Viscount Bridgerton had also broken up with Edwina after she had doubts on their wedding day.

Y/n remembered that day perfectly. She was sitting next to Benedict and the Bridgerton family on the chairs waiting for Edwina to appear and the wedding to begin. She waved a fan, trying to alleviate the horrible heat in that room. The delay seemed to make everyone nervous, especially Anthony who had drops of sweat falling from his forehead and was speaking hurriedly to his mother.

Finally, the doors opened, but, to everyone's surprise, it wasn't Edwina walking down the aisle, it was Kate Sharma, her sister. She didn't look happy, walking with an air of confidence and a serious expression, her eyes never leaving Anthony. The two exchanged quick words, until Anthony dropped his head and closed his eyes in frustration, but he still nodded and Kate left.

After a few tense seconds, Anthony finally had the courage to look at the people watching the scene and said that the wedding had been cancelled, before leaving the room too, leaving the murmur that formed.

"What a scandal." a lady gossiped with another, the two starting a conversation about what could have happened, some theories being completely ridiculous and that could ruin the family's reputation.

Y/n couldn't help herself and turned to them with a polite but sarcastic smile. "My apologies for interrupting, but the only scandal here is the fact that your son, who decided to be a priest, got so many prostitutes pregnant that only they could fill an entire line of these."

The woman gasped in horror while Benedict, who was listening to the conversation, had difficulty containing his laughter. "You foolish girl, how dare—"

"Excuse me, but I have better things to do than sit here and imagine what could have happened." Y/n got up from her chair, looking at the women one last time before going to try and find Anthony.

Despite being acquaintances, since Y/n was so close to Benedict, the two had never spoken much. However, the woman was still worried about Viscount. When she found him, sitting on the porch floor with his head in his hands, Y/n kept him company, also sitting in silence. From then on, a relationship was formed between the two that quickly became inseparable.

"My love, daydreaming again?" Anthony hummed, breaking Y/n out of his thoughts. The man wrapped his shoulders around her waist and pulled her closer, gently kissing her head. "What are you thinking about?"

"How lucky I am."

"Well, I'm the lucky one. I have a beautiful wife who I love very much. I couldn't live without you." he confessed, causing a blush to appear on her cheeks as it always did when he pronounced his love for her. "I have to go finish some paperwork, but then I'll come see you so we can go visit Daphne's son."

Y/n nodded, giving him a quick kiss and sighing as she watched him go to his office. Daphne had just had her second child, a beautiful baby boy. The couple was going to visit the family so that Y/n could help with whatever her sister-in-law needed while Anthony and Simon were going to entertain the baby's brother, a toodler who demanded a lot of attention.

Even though Y/n loved their children with all her heart, it only reminded her of what she couldn't give Anthony. The couple had been trying to get pregnant since they got married, but without success. Anthony's wife had already cried on his shoulder many times because she couldn't carry the child, her heart breaking every time she started her period.

Even though the Bridgerton man assured her several times that all he needed to be happy was her, Y/n still wanted to give him a heir. She wanted the house to be full of their children's laughter and for them to be able to create a mini version of them, a product of their love.

However, he tried not to occupy his days thinking solely about that. It was enough of all the doctors she had seen who told her that it was her fault, that her womb was not capable of developing a baby. Of course, Anthony, as soon as he heard those accusations and the look of complete heartbreak from his wife, demanded that they leave his house.

Y/n she couldn't take the blame anymore, going into a state of shock and for three days she refused to get out of bed. However, her husband would not accept that. He just wanted her to be happy, even if they never had children.

"We don't need children to be happy, I only need you. We have so many nieces and nephews who can take on my role, and we can take care of them from time to time, I'm sure my siblings wouldn't mind." Y/n remembered Anthony telling her this firmly, his hands grabbing her cheeks as they both had tears in their eyes.

And since then, they've never brought it up again.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"Lady Bridgerton, are you feeling alright?" one of the maids asked worriedly when she saw Y/n enter the dining room for breakfast, immediately turning paler when she smelled the eggs. "Should I fetch for Viscount Bridgerton?"

She had time to shake her head before running to the nearest bathroom, dropping herself onto the cold floor and emptying the contents of her stomach. She could feel tears forming in her eyes, gagging at the sour taste that remained in her mouth. With unsteady legs, she got up and went to wash her mouth, the maids who entered the bathroom right after her helped her to hold herself upright.

However, she quickly realized that she wasn't finished yet when a new wave of nausea consumed her and she knelt again in front of the toilet. She felt strong hands, which she recognized as Anthony's, caress her face before grabbing her hair.

"Oh, Anthony…" she moaned in discomfort. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Hey, none of that. Come here, love." he comforted, helping turn her around and supporting her against the wall when she was finished. He took a towel and started wiping her mouth.

When Y/n had the strength to open her eyes, she saw her husband's face analyzing her closely, looking for anything that could be wrong. The concern that swam in his eyes made her raise a hand and rest it on his cheek, and he turned slightly to be able to give her a lingering kiss on her palm.

"How are you feeling? I'm going to call the doctor. Are you okay with staying with one of the maids until I get back?"

Y/n held his arm, preventing him from getting up. "No, please don't go. I'm alright now. If this continues, I promise you can call the doctor, this is probably an one time thing. Let's not worry about it."

Anthony sighed, locked in a staring contest with the most important woman in his life. Accepting defeat, but with a serious look that screamed that if that happened again she would see a doctor, the Viscount picked up Y/n, carrying her to their bed.

Laying her down gently and helping Y/n take off her dress, the man pulled the covers up, making sure she was comfortable. Afterwards, he took off his shirt and pants, lying down next to her.

"What are you doing? We can't be in bed already, especially you. It's only morning, we still have many obligations to fulfill."

"No. My wife is not feeling well, and I'm going to take care of her. The paperwork can wait, as well as all my meetings. I just want you to be healthy." Anthony brought her closer to him, Y/n resting her head on his chest so she could hear his heartbeat. "Now, sleep. You need it."

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It happened again. More specifically, two more times Y/n threw up her meals. The first time, she was alone and not wanting to worry anyone, she preferred to remain silent. After all, she could still be recovering from some kind of illness. The second time, it was in the presence of her most trusted maid, who she considered a friend, Joanne. And so she begged her not to tell the Bridgerton man about it, claiming she would see someone.

Alone, because in addition to feeling sick, she also realized that her period, which was always regular, should have already arrived. Her first thought was that she was pregnant. But upon thinking better, she questioned this possibility. After so many years of trying and failing, why would she be pregnant now? There must be another explanation.

However, she did not share these possibilities with Anthony because the last thing she wanted was to give him hope only to end up disappointed with her inability to give him a heir. Fortunately, Joanne accompanied her, helping Y/n explain to the doctor why the Viscount wasn't there with her.

And when she left that office, she could feel her legs losing strength. She placed a hand on her chest, starting to find it difficult to breathe in completely, still shocked by what the doctor had said to her.

Pregnant.

She was carrying Anthony's child in her womb, something they thought to be impossible. She was going to be a mother. Even though Anthony always assured her that he was completely happy with just her, Y/n knew that he would love being a father. At the beginning of their marriage, he had revealed to her that he dreamed of their family, their chhildren running through the garden while he chased after them and Y/n watched while sitting under the shade, her hand on her swollen belly.

And, by a miracle, this dream could become reality.

"Lady Bridgerton, are you ready to return to the mansion?" Joanne questioned after Y/n sat down in the carriage, her hands shaking together in her lap. Her gaze was understanding, in case she needed a few more moments alone to process this, but her lips held a small smile.

"I'm going to be a mother." she whispered.

"A wonderful, beautiful mother, I'm sure. Congratulations, Lady Bridgerton." she smiled, feeling enormous happiness for Y/n. She knew how much the couple had suffered. "Shall we return?"

Y/n nodded, no longer trusting her voice to speak. The woman took advantage of the short trip to process everything that was happening and before she knew it she was already in front of Anthony's office door.

With barely controlled excitement, she knocked on the door, waiting for permission to enter. When she heard Anthony's voice, she timidly opened the door, seeing that her husband was gathered with his brothers.

"Oh, my apologies. I didn't know your brothers were here. I can come back later."

"Nonsense, love. They can just leave." Anthony said, leaning back in his chair and opening his arms, an invitation for Y/n to come to him. The man, after already having Y/n in his arms, looked at Benedict and Collin, who were looking at him with a smirk. "Did you not hear? I told you to leave."

"Anthony, be nice!"

"It's not a problem, Y/n, we know when we are not wanted. Come on, Benedict, let's leave the lovebirds alone." Collin teased, getting up with his brother and leaving the room, but first, he took Y/n's hand and brought it to his lips. Benedict, for instance, kissed her cheek in a brotherly way. Despite their farewell with Y/n, Anthony was completely ignored by his brothers.

"Did you need something?" the man asked, putting all of his attention on Y/n, who began to fidget with her fingers nervously.

"Actually, I have to tell you something. I went to the doctor today…"

"What? Y/n, why didn't you tell me? Did you feel bad again? Nauseous? What did the doctor say? Are you okay?"

"Calm down, my love. I'm better than fine. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about being sick again, but I didn't want to worry you." she admitted, feeling guilty that Anthony was feeling precisely what she didn't want. "Well, I received some very interesting news."

"Please, just tell me what's wrong. I can't bear not knowing if something is wrong with you." he muttered with a pained look, as if he felt physical pain when thinking about the possibility of Y/n being hurt or unwell.

"Anthony…" she said his name with so much love that he shuddered. "I'm pregnant."

A silence formed in the room. Anthony took so long to react, just looking at her intensely as if he didn't know what was true or not, that Y/n began to feel worry invade her system. Was he not happy? Did he not want a child with her anymore?

"W-What?" Anthony finally managed to whisper, his heart having stopped as soon as he heard those words. "You're pregnant? With my child?"

"Well, obviously." Y/n rolled her eyes. "Are you happy?"

"Happy? My love, I'm more than happy. I love you so much. And I love our child too." the man kissed her fiercely, needing to convey all his love and adoration for her in that kiss.

He was addicted to his wife's lips, and now that he knew she was carrying his child, something animalistic was released inside him. Without giving any warning, he grabbed Y/n and twirled her around, without ever taking his lips off hers. Even so, Y/n giggled against them, circling her hands around his neck and holding on tight.

When her feet touched the floor, the Viscount knelt in front of her, his hands resting hesitantly on her stomach. He looked at Y/n in permission, who just nodded in encouragement and placed her hand on his brown hair, stroking his scalp.

Very gently, Anthony kissed his wife's still flat stomach. "Hello, you. I'm your father and I love you and your mother very much. You two are my entire life."

And the two stayed like that for the rest of the day, moving to the bedroom where Anthony continued to talk to Y/n's belly while exchanging passionate kisses with her. A beautiful new stage had begun in their lives, and they couldn't wait to meet their heir.

[ellewritesx]

breach of contract

(part six of the sugar, baby series)

Summary: You give him silence. He gives you the truth.

Warnings: sugardaddy arrangement, mentions of past sex, lots of feels, that's it really

A/N: hi lovelies! a lot of you had a lot of different opinions on how this part should go. i wrote it in a way that feels natural to harry and y/n, and to me as the author. i hope you guys love it as much as i do!!! a song that really helped me while writing is ''back to december (taylor's version)'' by taylor swift which captures this part perfectly imo, definitely recommend listening to it as you read this x

Word Count: 3,531

...

The gallery is bathed in a soft light, the kind that glazes over skin and oil paint alike, smearing everything in gold. The room is warm with conversation, the low chatter of art lovers sipping cheap wine and throwing around words like ''contrast'' and ''intent''.

You stand somewhere near the center, smiling softly for the camera, one arm thrown around your friend's shoulder as she beams proudly in front of the exhibit wall.

You're in one of the photos. Well, you are the photo. Printed large, mounted on white canvas, your silhouette lit with honeyed shadows and smoke. You helped out with the shoot weeks ago, before everything fell apart. Before Harry stopped asking you to come over. Before you stopped waiting for him to ask.

Your friend had begged to take your photo when one of her models canceled last-minute. Something about an accident on the highway causing ''an impossible traffic jam, Y/N''. Despite your initial reluctance, you agreed. It was mortifying, being in front of the camera. You had felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment when you recalled the events to Harry later that same night.

He'd said he would come. Said it so casually, in passing, fingers brushing your hip absentmindedly in bed. You didn't really believe him then, and you definitely don't now.

You wear something new tonight. Bought with your own money. A slip dress in a color that makes your skin glow and your eyes sharper than usual. You didn't put on much makeup, didn't fuss with your hair, prioritizing your own comfort. It'll be a long night, after all.

You don't see him at first.

But he sees you.

Harry walks in through the side entrance, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his dark wool coat. His hair is pushed back haphazardly, his jaw unshaven, like he hasn't really slept in a few days. He hasn't. Not properly, not since you walked out. The air in the gallery is cooler than he expected, but the moment he sees you there, speaking animately to a cluster of strangers, lit softly by gallery lights like the portrait of you on the wall, his skin heats from the inside.

He had worried he would never see your face again. He was sure you wouldn't hear him out if he asked, and he wouldn't know what to say to you even if you did. But then he remembered you mentioning it, offhandedly, weeks ago. Laying in his bed, bare-legged and sleepy, lips sticky from wine and your marshmellow lip balm. You had laughed bashfully, said something like, "She's showing her exhibition next month. I think she's using one of the shots I'm in. Can you believe it, Harry? Me? Hanging in an art gallery?"

He'd told you he would come. He wasn't sure if he would. Hadn't cared at the time. Or pretended not to.

But now he's here.

And there you are. Fucking radiant.

You're laughing, head tipped back, a glass of wine dangling from your fingers. There's a group of people around you, friends of your friend, probably. One of the guys leans in a bit too close when he talks, not quite flirting, but not just being friendly either.

Harry doesn't blink. Just watches.

Jealousy washes over his body like a current, but he doesn't move. Doesn't stomp over and drag you by the wrist like that night at the bar. He stays near the back, one hand clenched around a drink that's too weak for he's liking. He's not even sure how he got here. It's like he's been sleepwalking for weeks, just going through the motions, only snapping out of it when he saw you just now.

He doesn't belong here. Not in this state, wrinkled blouse, hair curled messily over his ears, a tiredness under his eyes that's deeper than just insomnia. It's regret. Resignation. But he's not leaving either.

And then you feel it.

That prickle at the base of your neck. The weight of his gaze.

You don't turn immediately, don't give in to the urge to search the room for that presence, looming in a dark corner like a storm cloud. But something in you stills. Anchors. When you finally glance over your shoulder, when your eyes land on the tall figure standing at the far edge of the gallery, spine straight against a wall, you know.

He came.

His eyes meet yours across the room. He doesn't look away.

Your stomach drops.

He looks out of place, like he didn't mean to be here but couldn't stay away. Dark trousers, open collar, silver rings glinting as he tugs his hand through his hair. He looks like he hasn't slept in days. Like he's been unraveling by the hour.

His jaw is set. You know that look. That rigid line of his jaw, clenched so tightly it could shatter teeth. You've seen it in bars and on planes, in arguments that left you breathless and silent treatments that lasted days. It's his tell, his dead giveaway. That he's spiraling. That he's seconds from doing something he'll regret.

And yet tonight, he stays rooted. One hand loose at his side, the other clutching his drink. Breathing through it. Usually he would have stalked over immediately, pulled you by the wrist, caused a scene. But he's not approaching, and that's the strangest part.

Harry Styles doesn't do restraint. Or at least, he didn't. Especially not when it came to you, when it came to his belongings. Every emotion he felt was something he let devour him, let spill onto you like a heavy rainfall: jealousy, fury, lust.

But now, standing across the gallery floor, you see the restraint in every inch of his body. The way he doesn't interrupt. Doesn't insert himself. Doesn't act like he owns you. And that quiet refusal to unravel says more than any apology ever could.

You're not sure why it matters so much, this one, subtle thing. The way he just stands there and watches. The way he lets you laugh and drink and exist without immediately laying claim. But it does matter. It matters because for once, you don't feel like a possession being policed. You feel like a person. Like someone he sees as separate from him. And God, that shouldn't feel revolutionary… but it does.

Your heart kicks up, but you don't let it show. Instead, you lift your chin and hold your ground as you approach him, deliberately, taking your time. And you're surprised he lets you. Doesn't try to assert dominance by beating you to it. Doesn't move to meet you halfway. For once, he just... watches you come to him on your own terms.

''Didn't think you'd come,'' you say, voice light.

His eyes flick toward the man not far behind you, the one who's already engaged in another conversation but keeps shooting you discreet glances, checking you out. He doesn't comment on it.

''You look good,'' he says instead, eyeing you up and down. His face is indifferent, but his voice is soft, vulnerable. You wouldn't have been able to tell if you didn't know him as well as you do.

You nod once. ''Thanks. I bought the dress myself.''

The words land like a knife. A silence stretches between you, taut and sparkling with tension. You don't offer him comfort. He doesn't reach for you. It's the first time you feel like you're equals.

''Well, it looks beautiful on you. You're beautiful,'' he tells you sincerely, offering you a small nod.

You quirk a brow in suspicion and meet his gaze, steady and unflinching. "Why are you really here, Harry?"

He swallows, hesitating. You don't say ''You weren't supposed to come''. Because he knows that. You don't say ''I didn't want to see you''. Because it would be a lie.

He says nothing for a moment. Then, quietly, "I said I'd come."

You stare at him. ''That was before.''

He nods. ''Still meant it.''

You don't know what to say to that. You blink.

Your mouth opens, then closes. He watches you carefully, as if memorizing your reaction. You can tell he wants to say more, it's clear in the way his lips part, the way his hands fidget subtly at his sides, but he stops himself. You notice it.

You glance back at your friends, who are entertaining a group of visitors that has just arrived while sending you looks that scream ''help!''. You're the one who's supposed to be showing people around the gallery, a task you didn't sign up for, but surprisingly haven't minded doing as much as you thought you would.

''They're waiting for me,'' you say quietly.

''I can wait too.''

That makes you pause.

Harry Styles. Waiting. He's been doing a lot of that today. Waiting for you to come to him, for you to speak. Let's see how long he's willing to wait before he loses his patience.

You nod slowly. ''Okay. Then wait.''

You walk away.

...

Harry doesn't know what he expected, showing up like this. All he knows is that when he opened that last box and saw the necklace, the one he'd put so much thought into, just imagining about how it would rest beneath your collarbone, something cracked. And the silence since then has been loud in a way money can't fix.

You had sent everything back. And yet, he still smells you in his apartment. Still hears your soft laughter in the way the air feels at night. Still wakes up reaching for something that isn't there.

He hadn't planned on coming. Not really. But his car pulled up to the gallery anyway, and he was already halfway through the doors before he realized what he was doing. Something about that damn necklace. The cold finality of it. The way it curled around itself in the box like it understood the weight of the gesture.

And now he's here. And he can't stop looking at you.

You're alive in a way he hasn't seen in days. Weeks, maybe. Your lips shine under the gallery lights, and your dress fits you like a glove, accentuating all your features.

Every second you don't look at him slices clean through the center of his chest.

He tells himself this is fine. You're allowed to live your own life. To have your own space. That's what he's supposed to do, right? Give you space? That's what a better man would do. And after that night, after the way he had let himself take out his anger on you, then discarded you like he couldn't even stand to be around you, he knows he doesn't get to decide anything anymore.

Still, his hands curl into fists every time someone leans in too close to whisper something in your ear.

Especially the guy in the grey blazer, who's had his hand on your waist for a beat too long. Harry swears the floor tilts beneath him.

He wants you to know he's here. Wants you to feel his presence, even if you won't touch him.

He wouldn't blame you if this was what you wanted. If that dress, that laugh, that softness you're wrapping the room in isn't meant for him anymore. Because maybe he really did ruin it. Maybe all the years of being wanted for what he could give, not who he was, have made it impossible for him to understand when someone chooses to stay. Maybe he wouldn't believe you ever would.

But he can't stop thinking about the way you curled into his side after he fucked you. The way your fingertips would brush his wrist when you were trying to say something you weren't sure he was ready to hear. The way you always bite the inside of your cheek when you try to stifle a giggle at one of his dumb jokes.

He can't stop thinking about that night in Paris. Not about the sex. Not about the view. Just the way you both stayed up talking long after the room went quiet, wine glasses half-full on the nightstand, your eyes sparkling in the dim light when you told him he wasn't as unreadable as he liked to think. That you saw through him. And that maybe that didn't have to be such a bad thing.

That was the moment he started to lose.

No, started to fall.

He doesn't want to admit it, not even now. He's not sure he's ready. But he's never been able to forget it.

And that necklace? He doesn't want it in a box. He wants it where it belongs, around your neck, where everybody can see it. Not to claim you. But to remind himself that not everything has to be bought to be cherished. That you chose him.

You glance in his direction, your eyes meeting across the room. You've been waiting. Not out of cruelty or revenge. Well, revenge is definitely a bonus. But mainly because you want to know what he'll do if you don't come running to him for once.

The look in your eyes does something to him. Because when you finally look at him, it's not cold. It's not kind, either. It's something in between. Something that tells him you're still deciding.

He straightens.

Because if you're still deciding… he still has a chance.

He takes a step forward. Your facial expression doesn't change. You don't stop him, but you don't turn toward him either.

So he waits. Just one more second. One more breath. If you want him to come to you, you'll make it clear. And if not… he'll stay here. He'll wait all night.

But if you give him the signal, any signal, he'll cross the fucking floor like he's reaching for salvation. He's not sure when it happened, but somewhere between the first payment and the last goodbye, he stopped wanting to own you.

And started wanting to deserve you.

You nod.

A small, almost imperceptible movement, but he catches it like a bullet to the chest. That tiny gesture is all the permission he's been holding out for. His limbs uncoil, and he moves, slow, cautious, like you're a flame he's afraid to smother. Or be burned by.

You excuse yourself from your group, ignoring the teasing grin your friend throws over her shoulder. Your heels click softly against the gallery's marble floors, the sound steady despite the unstable pounding in your chest. You don't wait to see if he follows.

You already know he will.

The elevator ride is silent. You press the button for the rooftop, never turning to look at him. You can feel his presence like a pull on your skin, taut and tense, straining between want and hesitance. The metal doors close and it's just you two now, caught in that strange in-between where anything could happen and nothing might.

When the doors slide open, you're the first to step out into the cool air. The rooftop is empty, just like you hoped. Everyone else is still inside, drinking, mingling, discussing art. The afterparty isn't for a few hours, so it's quiet here, the hum of the bustling city below you like a soft lullaby. String lights cast a faint golden glow overhead, softening the edges of everything.

But not him.

He's all sharp lines and shadows when he steps up beside you. Hands tucked into his coat pockets, jaw clenched, curls ruffled from the wind and repeatedly running his hand through them.

You stand with your arms crossed over your chest, pretending to admire the skyline while your pulse thunders under your skin. He lingers a few feet behind, just close enough for you to feel him. The heat of his body. The heaviness of his stare.

You can tell he's working something out in his head, because he's quiet, but you don't speak right away. Let the silence stretch, let it test him. Because the last time he opened his mouth, you walked out of his apartment with shaking hands and mascara-stained cheeks.

He breaks first.

''I didn't know if I'd ever see you again.''

You inhale slowly. ''And yet you came.''

His eyes flicker to yours. ''Said I would.''

''You said a lot of things, Harry.''

You hear the shift in his breath, a sharp inhale like he's bracing himself. ''You're angry.''

''No,'' you say. ''I'm tired.''

The words hit heavier than they should. He takes a tentative step closer, like he's afraid of startling you over the edge. ''Look, I didn't come here to fight—''

''Then why are you here?” You face him fully now, arms still folded as if to shield yourself from the upcoming conflict. ''Because if you're looking for a reason to punish me again, I'm fresh out.''

He flinches. ''I'm not. I'm not... Fuck. That night, I wasn't trying to—''

''You were angry,'' you cut in. ''And I was convenient. That's the whole point of the arrangement, isn't it?''

''No. It's not.'' His voice sharpens. ''It wasn't supposed to go like this.''

''But it did.''

He looks at you then, and you know he sees it, the shift in you. How this version of you doesn't cry, doesn't beg. You're not trying to change his mind or shrink yourself down just to fit into whatever space he was willing to make for you.

He runs a hand through his hair. ''You think I don't know I fucked up? That night... I wasn't angry at you. I was angry at myself. For letting it get that far. For wanting more. I lashed out. Because that's what I do, isn't it? I ruin things before they can ruin me.''

You look at him then, really look at him. And what you see isn't the controlled, calculated man who drew up contracts and handed you credit cards like they were shackles physically bounding you to him.

What you see is a man who's unraveling in front of you, who's scared, who's hurting, who doesn't know how to ask to be loved without bleeding out.

''You didn't just ruin things,'' you say softly. ''You ruined me, Harry.''

He looks like he might fall apart.

Your voice is steadier than you feel when you continue. ''I spent weeks wondering what I did wrong. What I could've said, or done, to make you want to keep me around. When I didn't hear from you after that night, I told myself that was it. That I needed to be strong. That if this was going to end, I'd end it with dignity.''

That shuts him up.

For a moment, all you can hear is the faint thump of music through the floor, the whistle of the wind around the rooftop. You glance over and find him staring at you like he's never seen you before. Or maybe like he's finally seeing you clearly.

''I got the boxes,'' he says suddenly.

Your stomach tightens. You look away, suddenly fascinated by a crack in the concrete beneath your feet. ''Good.''

Something cracks in his chest then. You see it, the way his jaw clenches, how he presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek like he's trying not to say something stupid.

''You returned everything,'' he says softly. ''Your dresses. Your perfume. That fucking necklace.''

Your fingers instinctively curl around the necklace you're wearing now. It doesn't mean nearly as much to you as that fucking daisy does. You miss it. The comfort of it, the reminder of Harry.

''You returned everything but the memories.''

You blink. ''What?''

''I've been going insane, Y/N,'' he chokes out, tugging on his hair in frustration. No, desperation. ''I've been moving through my apartment like a fucking zombie. I can't walk into my kitchen without seeing your coffee mug. I can't open my closet without thinking of you in my hoodie. You're not there, but it's like you never left.''

You watch him struggle. Watch him grip the railing before him like it's the only thing holding him upright, before continuing.

''Everything still smells like you. Your shampoo's in the shower. I find your hair ties everywhere. I can't throw out that fucking flower. And those boxes... Those boxes gutted me. Because you didn't just return my money. You returned everything that connected us. Every single thing I used to not lose the privilege of calling you mine.''

You swallow thickly, caught between wanting to scream and wanting to kiss him. ''It was in the contract,'' you say evenly.

''To hell with the contract,'' he spits, voice cracking. ''I'm fucking in love with you.''

The rooftop goes still.

Your heart slams into your ribs like it's trying to claw out of your chest. His eyes widen, terrified of what he just admitted, but there's a strange sense of relief in his expression too, like he just came up for a deep breath after nearly drowning.

You stare at him, lips parted, frozen in place. You don't move. Don't blink. The words hang between you like a match, suspended and burning. Harry stares at you, chest rising and falling heavily, like confessing the truth is the hardest thing he's ever done.

And maybe it is.

...

thank you so much for reading! i appreciate any and all support so remember to like, comment and reblog. requests are open! 💕

sugar, baby series tag list

@indierockgirrl @prettygurl-2009 @cherryflavoredbyme @dipmeinhoneyh @haliastyless @drewrry @maddiesalvatore1839 @robinsue87 @zoraaasyd @sincerely-yours-marsbar @m0mmyfromtarget @maudie-duan @hoolabalooba @hisparentsgallerryy @txmhxllqnd @harringtonhundreds @freddyselmstreet @caynonmoondreams @matildasatellite @ilovezaynmalik08 @looney-goose @call1800coochie @nostalgiainmybones @billweasleyswife @hailiex @lichi-dunkera @tchlamqtsgf @kiszkas-canvas

general tag list

@2601-london @mads3502 @angeldavis777 @run-for-the-hills @postsexfistbump @hobireasns @madilee7802 @spinninc @practistyles @qrapejuices

...

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Maternal Advice

Fandom: The Pitt

Pairing: Dr. Robby x F!Reader

Summary: You're joining Robby and his colleagues for dinner and provide some love advice to the group.

Mom of the ER | The Pitt Masterlist

You sat beside Robby at the restaurant. It was a local place, similar to an Applebee's or Chili's, but more mom and pop.

You and Robby liked to frequent the place, even knowing the owners by name. It was a chill, neutral place, that closed late, which was perfect for a dinner with the day shift PTMC team.

After their shift, everyone had gone home to change and met at the restaurant. Robby still donned a hoodie, but with joggers and a t-shirt this time. You were dressed in some leggings, a t-shirt, and cardigan for the cool breeze.

Everyone sat around the large tables, eating and chatting away. You're resting your head on Robby's shoulder, listening to him chat with Heather. You knew they had dated years ago, but both have made it very clear that ship has sailed. Especially since you and Robby are married, and you were never the jealous type anyway. Heather is a great woman and friend to you and Robby.

"I just don't have time for dating. I don't know how the hell you two manage it," she says nodding to you two.

You smile at her, "It was hard in the beginning. I can admit that I was super clingy, so I had trouble adjusting at first. But I got used to it. Michael still made efforts to see me after grueling hours at work, so I knew he still wanted to be with me."

"She dealt with a lot too, cancelled dates, only being able to talk on the phone a few times over a course of a few days. I didn't make things easy, but she still stuck around," he looks fondly at you and you look at him with a matching expression.

Trinity groans, "Dating fucking sucks nowadays. Don't get me started on the apps."

Mateo chimes in, "Finding people in-person isn't any better."

"So we're all just doomed to loneliness?" Trinity scowls and takes a swig from her beer.

You hum, "Is it too cliche to say that you'll find someone someday?"

"Yes," the group replies in unison.

Frank scoffs, "I met my wife in person. Things are great. We got a kid and a dog-"

"Which you got without discussing with her first," Heather chimes in.

You grimace, "How pissed was she?"

"...very. But she caved when she saw how happy it made the kid. So...still a win?"

You and Heather give each other a look and Robby shakes his head, "You still have much to learn, Langdon," he says and then sips from his beer.

Everyone goes off into their own conversations again. Frank and Robby talk about sports and you just sit there watching everyone around the table.

Towards the end, you see Victoria, the youngest of the residents, talking with Mateo. You see she's a little frazzled, stuttering over her words as she speaks with him. You can't help but giggle, which catches the attention of Robby.

"What's funny?"

You lean in and whisper in his ear, "Victoria's got a crush on Mateo."

Robby cocks a brow at you and looks in the direction of the aforementioned. He furrows his brows and you explain, "She keeps tucking her hair behind her ears, she's hanging onto his every word. She's agreeing with everything he's saying. Crush behavior."

"You never did that stuff with me," he mumbles.

"Michael, I wasn't a young twenty year old woman when we started dating. I was a seasoned veteran in the dating game by then."

Your husband chuckles, "Seasoned, huh?"

You roll your eyes, "Shut up. This isn't about me. This is about Victoria."

"Let her be. Javadi doesn't need to be coddled."

Mateo seems to say something funny because Victoria laughs, but then she makes a snort and she freezes. She quickly excuses herself and rushes to the bathroom.

"I'm gonna check on her."

"ER mom to the rescue," Robby says and you swat at his shoulder as you pass him.

When you enter the bathroom, Victoria is lightly banging her head against a bathroom stall.

"You okay, sweetheart?"

She looks at you with worry in her eyes, "Did you see that? God, that was so embarrassing!"

You chuckle, "It was cute."

She shakes her head and starts to pace, "I don't want to be considered cute. I want to be seen as serious and mature and worth dating." You can tell she's frustrated and you approach her, moving some strands of hair out of her face.

"Don't try to be someone else just so someone will like you, honey. That never goes the way that you want. It gets exhausting and you end up losing yourself in the process. If you like someone, just be yourself. And if they like you, then they like you as you are. Don't go changing yourself just because you think it's what they want."

Victoria's shoulders deflate in defeat and you sigh, "If things don't work out with Mateo, it'll be okay. It's not the end of the world. You have an entire lifetime to find someone. I mean, look at me and Robby. We found each other later in life and so unexpectedly. You'll be okay."

The young woman lets out a deep breath and nods, "Okay. Thank you, Y/N."

"Anytime."

You turn to exit, but she stops, "Wait."

"Yeah?" you answer, facing her.

"Is it..okay if I hug you?"

You softly smile at her, "Of course." She rushes forward and wraps her arms around you and you do the same to her. You squeeze her tight, "You know if you're ever having boy trouble or just wanna chat, you can text or call me."

"Really? I don't want to bother-"

"You won't. I promise. Where's your phone?" she pulls it out of her back pocket and you type in your number with your name. You hand it back to her, "There."

"Thanks," she murmurs, "You really are such a mom."

You laugh, "So I've been told. Come on," you lead her out of the bathroom and you two head back to the table.

When you settle beside Robby once more, he asks, "Everything okay?"

You nod, "Just girl talk."

"And another kid adopted into the Robby Family," Heather states with a smirk and you roll your eyes at her.

[momotonescreaming]

Tommy 🔥🚁💙 What are your thoughts on takeout tonight instead? x

Evan ❤️ Not that I'm opposed, but what bought this on?

Buck sat down on the station couch and frowned down at his phone, waiting for the typing bubbles to appear.

He and Tommy were trying again, taking it slow and working through everything properly this time. Tonight was supposed to be a part of that — a semi-casual date night at a local Malaysian restaurant Buck had wanted to try — where they could carve out time for the both of them to enjoy the others company and talk over good food. If the reviews were anything to be believed, that is.

But evidentially, plans have changed. Buck's not mad about it, no way, they can always go eat another time. Buck's just glad Tommy still wants to spend the evening with him.

He'd been really looking forward to it — his date night with Tommy. It had been the driving force carrying him through his shift. Knowing that at the end, he'd be able to go see Tommy.

Knowing that he'd be able to see his man dressed up nice, with a button up shirt that hugged his chest just right. That Tommy would look at him fondly while he spent entirely too long going over everything in the menu. That they could hold hands over the table while they waited for their order, and could press their ankles together under the table while they ate so they still had a point of contact. That Tommy would insist they get dessert, and Buck would agree because he loves Tommy's sweet tooth.

But above all else, he just wanted to go see Tommy. Buck always felt lighter when he was around. He hopes it's the same with Tommy.

His phone vibrates.

Tommy 🔥🚁💙 Didn't realise something was pissing me off as much as it did until I got home

Buck's fingers hover over his phone's keyboard as the typing bubbles quickly appear, before stopping, and the appearing only to disappear again. His fingers itch, and he quickly types out a message before Tommy can start his message over

Evan ❤️ And you need an evening at home?

Tommy 🔥🚁💙 Yeah. If we could?

That was something Buck had been learning about Tommy this time around, now that they were talking about more things that were scary, and more things that were real — he wasn't a fan of being angry. He grew up with an angry father, he said, was more scared of becoming him than he liked to admit. Letting the cycle repeat. He didn't want to risk it. He was a big guy, intimidating by sheer stature, and he didn't like to be angry on top of it.

The fact that he was worried, meant he'd never become his father. He'd never be like him in any way. Buck knew this, and Tommy was trying to let himself believe it.

But he needed to process through it.

Tommy would take the time before dinner to work through his anger as best he could, they both knew this, but Tommy felt more comfortable recovering at home after something really riled him up. He'd go to the gym, go for a run around the block, exhaust himself before retreating home to shower and rest.

Evan ❤️ We can reschedule, if you need?

As much as he was looking forward to seeing Tommy, he'd reschedule in a heartbeat if Tommy needed it. Tommy loves to look after him, to care for him, to love him — and Buck wants to do the same. As much as Tommy will let him.

The reply comes through instantly.

Tommy 🔥🚁💙 No need. Come over. Please? x

And how, or why would Buck say no to that? He said he admired Tommy for being brave, and that hasn't changed at all now that he admires him for being brave and letting him in. He knows that Tommy admires him for taking more time for himself, for letting himself be a little more selfish.

They're good for each other. They always were, just even more so now.

Evan ❤️ Absolutely ❤️ I'll bring burgers from that place you like?

Tommy 🔥🚁💙 I could kiss you x

Evan ❤️ I accept payment in kisses, yes

Later, in the quiet of his Jeep when there's no one else around to listen in, Buck will call and cancel their reservation. He'll make a pick up order from that burger place Tommy loves, driving it over so they can eat it fresh and hot. Tommy will open the door in a worn LAFD shirt and sweatpants; looking clean, and soft, and relaxed.

Buck will listen as his boyfriend bitches and rants through their dinner, in a way Tommy wouldn't let himself in the confines of the restaurant. He'll hum that he's listening and make all the right comments because he gets it. They get each other in a way they're finally, really starting to understand.

He'll steal a spare pair of sweatpants from Tommy and clean up the wrappers while Tommy looks through his shelves for a romcom for them to watch. They'll curl up on the couch under a fuzzy blanket that has no business being that comfortable, Tommy tucked under Buck's arm, and he won't regret cancelling their reservation for a second.

Tommy 🔥🚁💙 I'm holding you to that. See you tonight xo Thank you xo

[im-so-normal-iswear]

Your writing is amazing 🤩

Can I request headcanons where The Big Three hedgehogs (separately) would react with a reader who doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with them; not because of them specifically, but because reader doesn’t want to be in life-threatening trouble all the time. They want to live peacefully, and they can’t have that if they’re dating hedgehogs who are known for attracting danger.

Sonic villains are scary and op. I wouldn’t want to deal with them, even if it meant rejecting the coolest characters in fiction.

Yandere triple s x Reader

Sonic:

Sonic is the embodiment of freedom and excitement, living life on the edge is all he knows. When you tell him you don't want to be in a relationship with him because of the chaos he attracts, he's initially confused.

"What do you mean you don't want excitement in your life?" he asks, his grin faltering. "You're seriously saying you'd rather stay boring and safe than, y'know, live it up with me?"

You explain that it's not about being boring, it's about being genuinely weary snd concerned. Eggman, Metal Sonic, literal GODS, waiting to pop out of the woodwork aren't exactly conducive to a peaceful lifestyle. You want to enjoy life without worrying about explosions, kidnappings, or world ending disasters.

At first, Sonic brushes it off with his usual charm. "C'mon, don't be like that. I'd never let anything happen to you, you know that!" But when you stand firm, his sunny charm starts to crack.

"Are you serious?" His voice lowers, losing its playful edge. "You're really turning me down because of a little danger? You think you're safer without me?"

His words filled with disbelief and growing frustration. How could you not see that he's the guy for you? He protects you better than anyone else could. Sure, Eggman"s schemes are dangerous, but they'd be even more dangerous if he wasn't around to stop them.

As days pass, Sonic'a obsession starts to surface in ways you didn't expect. He's always watching, always. You'll look out the window and catch a fleeting blur of blue, or feel the wind shift as he speeds past. You can't shake the feeling that he's nearby, even when you're alone.

When he finally confronts you again, his tone is far less casual than before. "You don't get it, do you? If you're not with me, you're vulnerable. I can't just leave you out here, waiting for something to happen. It's too dangerous without me."

His logic twists. In his mind, your rejection only proves that you need him more. You dont want to be around him because you dont want to get hurt? He'll give you that wish. Sonic begins isolating you from anything that could "endanger" you. Friends mysteriously cancel plans. Locations you frequent suddenly close down. If you dont want to be happy with him, thats fine, he'll make sure you cant be with anyone. After all, they might "endanger you" too

Shadow:

Shadow doesn't take rejection lightly. When you tell him that you don't want a relationship because of the danger associated with him, his first reaction is silent disbelief. He stares at you, his eyes narrowing as he tries to process what he just heard.

"You think being with me is dangerous?" His voice is cold, almost offended. "I've kept you alive all this time, haven't I? Do you really think anyone else could protect you better than me?"

You try to explain that it's not about him failing to protect you. You just don't want to wake up every day wondering which new villain will target you because of your association with him. Shadow's life is crazy, and just way too "eventful", and you're not cut out for that kind of stress.

For a moment, Shadow seems to consider your words. He's calculating, always analyzing the situation for the most logical solution. But then his own head gets the better of him, and the idea of you rejecting him, for any reason, sends him into a quiet fury.

"So, you think you can live a peaceful life without me?" His tone deceptively calm. "You think you can just walk away and no one will come after you?"

It’s a veiled threat, but there's truth in his words. Shadow's enemies are ruthless, and you even being friends would have already alerted them enough of your presence by now. In his mind, letting you go isn't just reckless, it's cruel. You need him, whether you realize it or not.

Shadow begins to follow you. He's always nearby, watching from the shadows, ensuring you're safe. But his presence isn't comforting. Every time you think you've escaped his grasp, he's there, reminding you that your "peaceful" life is a fantasy.

"You just dont understand, do you? If anything, im the only thing keeping you safe."

And if you still insist on resisting? Shadow's methods become less "gentle". He's not above using force to keep you by his side. In his mind, it's all justified. After all, he's doing this for your own good.

Silver:

Silver is the most emotionally vulnerable of the three. When you tell him you don't want to be in a relationship because of the danger he attracts, his first reaction is heartbreak.

"Wait... what?" His voice cracks, and his wide, teary eyes search your face for any sign that you're joking. "You… you don’t want to be with me? Why...?"

You explain that it's not about him as a person, it's about the constant danger. You're not strong like him. You don't have speed, psychic powers, or any training. You're just a regular mobian trying to survive, and being with him feels like painting a target on your back.

Silver's lip trembles as he tries to process your words. "But... I can protect you. I'd never let anything happen to you, I swear!" His desperation is just saddening. He doesn’t understand why you'd reject him when he's offering to keep you safe.

As the days go on, Silver becomes increasingly obsessive. He can't stop thinking about you, about how wrong it is for you to push him away. He convinces himself that you're just scared and that he needs to prove he can give you the peaceful life you want.

Silver starts "fixing" your life in ways that quickly spiral out of control. He uses his powers to move you away from anything he perceives as a threat. If someone looks at you the wrong way, they trip and fall. If a place feels "unsafe," he blocks your access to it entirely.

When he confronts you again, his tone is a mix of desperation and determination. "I've done everything I can to make things better for you! Don't you see? We can be together. You just have to trust me!"

If you still resist, Silver becomes more unhinged. He's not naturally violent, but his obsession with keeping you safe drives him to extremes. He starts to believe that the only way to protect you is to keep you with him, always.

"I know you're scared" he whispers, holding you close despite your protests. "But I’ll make everything okay. You'll see. You don't have to worry about anything anymore... because I’m here."

[dustpages]

PornMum

I opened the front door of my flat with a loud bang. I was pissed, the shooting was called off last minute and I had travelled for two hours to reach the location.

" Hi, Mum." my little boy greeted me from his bedroom. 

It was the middle of the summer and the only thing he had been doing so far was reading and playing video games, I was aware he didn't like to socialize with his peers. I was his only parent, his father left us when he was just born.

" Honey I'll be to you in a second.” I yelled across the house walking to the kitchen to get myself something to drink. I was thirsty and sweaty, even though I had dyed my hair blonde and I was wearing just a top and skirt the heat was unbearable. 

I took some cold water from the fridge and drank it at once.  

I put the glass back in its place and headed to my son’s room, knocking softly before entering. He looked up from the screen and smiled. "How have you been?" I asked him sitting beside him.

He shrugged. "Alright, just read some manga."

"You need to go out more." I opined, trying not to sound too harsh but concerned about him being stuck at home all day long without seeing anyone else. 

He swiftly dodged my gaze and sighed deeply. " Whatever. Why are you home so early today?" he questioned. 

I sat on his bed. " My last schedule was cancelled last minute." I explained without giving him too much information.

He was just 12 years old and being told I was one of the most successful, requested and appreciated JAV actresses in Japan wasn't something I would share with him. He knew me as Mina, the kind and loving mother who always cooked delicious dinner for him. Not the one that was an adult film actress. 

"Oh, what happened then?" he asked innocently. 

I tried to explain my situation without making any reference to the industry I worked for. " The director told me they wanted to postpone it. So I came home." 

He nodded. " I see."

I glanced at him, looking him in the eyes. " Hey, do you want to eat something? I'm hungry, let’s prepare something together." I suggested with a smile. He agreed.

We went to the kitchen hand in hand, he was still short and thin for his age. But his blue eyes made up for it. We both loved cooking and baking, especially him since he enjoyed eating sweets, I did my best to make sure he had a balanced diet.

While we were cooking some of the tomato sauce for the spaghetti landed on my clothes, staining both top and skirt. 

" Dammit." he cussed. He has stirred the sauce with too much energy causing the little mess on my outfit.

" Do not worry, honey." I reassured him and got off my skirt and top right there in the kitchen. His eyes widened in surprise.

"What are you doing, mum?!" he said, sounding embarrassed.

I giggled and caressed his cheek. " Don’t be silly, this is nothing. You’ve seen my butt many times before." I teased him, bending over to clean the stains from the floor. 

My ass was on full display for him and I could feel him staring at my cheeks, so plump and round, my pussy lips covered with just my small panties. It was nothing new for him to see me almost completely nude since I rarely wore anything around the house but his reaction was strange, he looked flushed and nervous. 

“ Mum... Are you going to take your underwear off as well?" he stuttered. 

I turned around to look at him. " What?! No! Of course not." I laughed nervously. " Unless you asked for it."

He became red as the tomato sauce. " I don't know what you are talking about." he ran out of the kitchen and into the living room.

I sighed and turned off the stove. Slowly I made my way to him, who was sat the sofa fidgeting with his hands on in lap.

" What's wrong baby?" I asked him sitting next to him.

He didn't say anything for a good minute, busy in deep thought. " I do have a problem in my underwear," he affirmed not sparing a glance to me.

"  How come?" I inquired.

" They're wet." he whispered so low I barely heard it. " And it doesn't stop leaking." he continued. 

His words sent shivers down my spine, I couldn't believe it. 

" Let me see." I gently pulled him to stand and unbuttoned his trousers. His briefs were soaked through with precum. 

" This is normal honey. All boys your age leak precum now and then. Especially when they see a hot girl." I told him trying to reassure him. He blushed again.

"It never occurred before." he panicked.

"Well, maybe you liked what you saw earlier." I mused.

 " Maybe you liked your mum’s body." I added teasingly. 

" That’s ok honey, it’s normal to think your mother is sexy." I encouraged him.

He seemed to relax a bit. " But it’s not appropriate." he complained.

I stood up and cupped his face. " Nothing is wrong, honey. You’re my son, but also a boy." I comforted him, feeling somehow attracted to him.

" Now, if you excuse me I'm going to change. You can stay here or join me." I winked at him. His eyes fixed on mine for a few seconds before nodding in agreement. 

As soon as we were inside my bedroom I closed the door and locked it. Then I stripped from my bra and panties. My son looked at me wide-eyed, taking in my naked form.

" Come here." I said walking to him. I felt him tremble as our bodies touched. My hands caressed his back, slowly descending to squeeze his bum. 

"Do you like it?" I asked him. He nodded shyly.

I kissed his neck softly, moving my hands to grab his cock through his trousers. He gasped as I stroked him over his pants. " Take it out for me." I commanded him. 

He obeyed me pulling out his dick. It was bigger than expected for a boy of his age, yet far from the ones I had to deal with at work. I gave him a few strokes while kissing his neck and biting his earlobes. He moaned in pleasure. 

" Mum, my member doesn't get soft." he affirmed worriedly in between moans. 

"  It’s ok honey. I'll make it soft." I assured him. I knelt in front of him, licking the tip of his penis. His legs wobbled.

" Mum..." he moaned my name. I took him fully in my mouth sucking and bobbing my head, tasting him for the first time.

I worked shipped his dick for less than 2 minutes and he shuddered in front of me. "I- I'm feeling a warm sensation spreading all over my body." he stated worried. " What is happening?"

I chucked releasing his dick from my mount and enveloping it into my hand. " You are cumming." I explained stroking faster.

" Am I supposed to feel something like this!?" he shouted losing control over himself.

I kept stroking until he exploded all over my breasts, covering them with his load. He fell on the bed exhausted, breathing heavily. 

I wiped my chest clean using some tissues and lay next to him. " See, it’s ok baby. There is nothing to be ashamed of." I told him smiling. He nodded still catching his breath.

" Mum can you explain to me what just happened?" he questioned me shyly.

" You see,  honey, you reached orgasm. Your member released semen and it felt good." I explained to him.

His eyes widen in shock. " Does it happen to women as well?" 

I laughed at his ingenuity. " It does, you made me  so horny that I want to have sex right now." I confessed.

He blushed but said nothing. Instead, he stared at my breasts. I could tell he wanted me to. 

" You want to fuck me, don't you?" I asked bluntly, biting my lower lip.

He looked at me puzzled. " What does it even mean?" 

I chuckled. " Let me show you instead."

I climbed on top of him and started grinding against his thighs. He hardened instantly. 

I knew I should have gone easy on him. It was his first time and me being used to dealing with men more experienced and older than him was a risk for him, if I did go to ride him the same way I usually did with other cocks he would break in half. But I couldn’t help it, I craved him so much. 

I was horny to stop and he looked so cute under me, so innocent. I needed to fuck him, I needed him to fill me and stretch my insides.

I rubbed my slit against his hardness, feeling the head of his dick poking me. 

" What are you doing?" he whimpered.

" I'm riding your dick baby." I moaned. I aligned myself perfectly with his member and impaled myself on it. He let out a sharp intake of air as he felt himself inside of me. 

The feeling was satisfying, he wasn't big enough to give me any issue stretching my pussy. I started to move my hips up and down, feeling his cock hitting my cervix each time I lowered myself onto him. I was moaning loudly and panting hard.

He was enjoying it as well, he held my waist firmly with his hand. I leaned forward and kissed him, feeling his tongue dancing with mine. Our teeth clicked together as I bounced on him harder and harder.

As I was expecting his member throbbed inside of me after a few minutes. I had to play smart not to make him feel bad about his performance, even though I was enjoying it thoroughly. 

" Baby, I can't take it anymore." I lied. " Please cum."  

His eyes lit up. " Really?"

I nodded and kept bouncing on him, not letting him stop thrusting into me. " Yes, cum inside of me." I begged.

He gasped at my words and buried his face into my neck as he unloaded himself deep into my womb. His arms wrapped tightly around my back, holding me close to him.

When he finished pumping his seed into me we collapsed on the mattress, panting and sweating profusely. " Did I do a good job?" he asked me shyly. I kissed his forehead. " Perfect."

I couldn't afford to tell him I wanted to keep going all night long." You can sleep here, tonight." I informed him. 

He hugged me tightly. " Thank you mum."

I wrapped my arms around him as well, feeling how his heart was still beating fast and strong.

The next few days flew like always, I had been called for a few shootings and my baby kept staying in his room days in and days out. 

It was a tiring Friday night, I plopped on the sofa wearing a white top and a matching pair of shorts. I had worked all the afternoon filming different scenes.

" Baby, I'm back." I called my son.

He came into the living room carrying his laptop, he was dead serious. " We need to talk." his blue eyes made me shiver more than the air conditioner. 

" Wha.." I tried to speak, but he cut me off. " Hear me out first."

It was unusual for him to be this cold with me. " I was doing some of my homework today and one of the requests was to look on Google for some information about our relatives and guess what happened as soon as I entered your name?" he was slightly losing his temperament. 

"  I don't understand." I said confused.

" All the results were about you and your career as AV Idol!!" he exclaimed. " All those fucking films you've done! And how people call you 'JAV Queen' because you are the most requested actress!" 

I stared at him shocked. " Well.."

" Well, what?" he interrupted me again. " You told me while we were fucking that you couldn't take anymore, and yet your last video that hit the charts was you begging a man with an 11 inches dick to keep fucking you and filling your tight pussy!"

My jaw dropped. " Um... I didn't want to lie to you." I stammered. I wanted to hide under the rug.

He shook his head. " Of course, you didn't!" he yelled. His little body was shaking in anger.

" Baby let me explain." I talked in a lower tone.

" Alright." he affirmed. " Explain to me the reason why you lied to me during our first time."

I sighed, hoping for the best. " Because I wanted to make you feel good about yourself." 

He glared at me. " If you cared about me you would have told me the truth." he huffed.

" Baby!" I pleaded. " You have seen in my videos how wild I am, I didn't want to break you or to scare you. And I wanted you to have a special time with your mother, no matter the circumstances."

He crossed his arms and pouted. " Is it true you love other men more than me?"

I shook my head. " Absolutely not! I love you more than anything in the world, but I enjoy sex with them."

" I'm well aware of that now, no need to remark it." he spat.

I sighed and walked in front of him. " What do you want me to do to make it up to you?"

I raised his chin defiantly. " Tell me."

He avoided my gaze. " Have you saved enough money?" he questioned. 

" More than you and I can spend in a lifetime." I replied honestly. " Why?"

He stared at me dead in the eyes. " I want you to retire, to leave that disgusting industry behind you and be just my mother, the one who is just special to me. Just my mother."

I looked at him, feeling conflicted. " Baby, money aside, how are we gonna deal with the lack of affection I crave for?" I asked him softly.

His eyes flamed. " I crave for you. I'm young and you could mould me as you please to fulfil all you need." his voice was firm.

I smirked widely. "  You do, huh?". " Yes." he nodded.

" Show me then." I challenged him. 

And he did, he proved to be more eager and greedy than any other man I had ever met. He ate me out like he was starving, making me scream and squirt in his mouth.

" Bed." I moaned, my legs were trembling from my climax. He took my hand and walked to my bedroom. 

" Baby, we are not done yet. You know, right.?" I asked him kneeling in the middle of the mattress. 

He nodded and crawled towards me. I reached down and grabbed his dick into my hand.

" I'm gonna make you ready." I stroked his length slowly and licked his head, taking him into my mouth and sucking hungrily. " You taste so sweet, baby." I praised him, feeling his precum leaking on my tongue. 

He moaned in delight and grabbed my head with his hands, pushing me down on his cock. I gagged a bit as he fucked my mouth.

After a few minutes, I pushed him away from me and lay down. " Fuck me now, baby." I urged him.

He positioned himself in between my thighs, lining up his member to my pussy and pressing it into me. He filled me, his thickness stretched my inner walls and I screamed in pain and pleasure.

" Harder, baby." I egged him on. His thrusts were slow at the beginning but became rougher as he gained confidence.

He slammed into me furiously and I let out screams of joy. He grabbed my ankles and placed them on his shoulders, pounding me relentlessly.

I felt him pulsing inside of me and squeezed my muscles around him.

" Cum, baby." I demanded.

He let out a strangled cry and released himself into my hole. I felt his hot seed coating my insides and it was glorious, so much so it triggered my orgasm and I climaxed around him. He collapsed on top of me, spent.

" That was great baby." I purred satisfied, stroking his head.

" Can we do it again?" he asked curiously.

" We will. Soon." I promised him. " You’re gonna be the king of this house from now on." 

He laughed. " Funny. Are you gonna retire for real?" he questioned. 

" I will, but there is one last shot I need to do the day after tomorrow that I cannot cancel so out of the blue." I replied. " But I want you to be on set with me, to see how everything goes." I proposed.

" Ok." he agreed. I cuddled with him and drifted away, thinking of all the dirty things I wanted to do with him. 

The day of the shoot arrived and I was nervous but excited at the same time, not only because it would be my last scene but also because my son would be present to watch it. 

We drove to the location which was a luxurious mansion, I had shot here a few times already and I knew exactly where I would find my colleagues and the crew. 

We reached the dressing room and my son followed me in, watching as I undressed and put on the costume chosen for the occasion. It was a black dress and a pair of high heels.

" It's not bad." he commented as I spun around to check how my dress fit me from behind. 

I looked at him amused. " Just not bad?" 

He looked on the floor. " You are extremely sexy." he mumbled.

I laughed. " You're such a good boy." I praised him. I leaned down and pecked his forehead, noticing as he blushed. 

I cupped his chin. " Remember, this is all for fun, and you need to remember that."

He nodded solemnly. " I promise to behave." 

" Good boy." I kissed him again.

The producer of the film came into the room to fetch me. " Hey Mina, we are all ready for you outside. This will be your last scene, do your best.

I grinned. " Of course." I waved at my son and left the dressing room. 

I stepped on set and found my partner for the shoot, the famous 11-inch dick named Jax.  He was a tall guy with broad shoulders, dark brown hair and hazel eyes. His cock was so thick that the guys on set used to compare it to a cucumber. 

" Hello, Mina." he greeted me with a smile.

I returned it. " Nice to meet you again."

" So, we will be playing as lovers cheating on their spouses and we end up having passionate sex." the producer explained.

" Sounds perfect." I approved, already knowing the script. 

" Action!" the director shouted. 

The scene began with us dancing and drinking alcohol at the party hosted in the house. It went smoothly until we reached the part where we were meant to kiss passionately and start fooling around. 

Everything changed when he slipped his hand into my dress and grabbed my breast. My eyes darted to my son standing behind the camera, he looked surprised by the sudden touch but not upset. He had an odd expression on his face, a mixture of confusion and lust. 

The scene proceeds with us groping each other. Jax pinched my nipples and slid his hand up my thigh and to my mound, caressing it through the fabric of my panties. I gasped in pleasure.

I glanced at my son again, he had a hard time hiding his boner and I felt sorry for him. " Sorry honey." I mouthed to him, hoping he could read my lips. 

He didn't seem bothered and gestured for me to continue.

We moved to the sofa and the director ordered us to remove our clothes. I obliged stripping out of my dress, leaving me bare apart from my bra and panties. Jax followed my example.

"  Let's try some foreplay, Jax can you eat her out." the director said, addressing my partner.

Jax didn't need to be told twice, he pushed me onto the sofa and settled himself in between my legs. 

His tongue was very skilled and had me writhing in pleasure within seconds, he licked my labia and my clit, sucking on my nub greedily. I moaned loudly as I felt myself nearing my release. 

My hand pushed him deeper into my folds, urging him to go on. He lapped at me eagerly, sending sparks through my body.

I looked at my son again and found him touching himself through his trousers, his face was red in embarrassment. I felt sorry for putting him in that position, but at the same time, it was arousing to see him so affected by the sight of me getting eaten out. 

Jax stopped suddenly and my gaze snapped back on him as he kneeled in front of me, holding his throbbing member. " She tastes wonderful." he complimented. 

I spread my legs further inviting him to enter me. He plunged into me, stretching me like a rag doll. I arched my back at the sudden invasion and moaned. 

" Mina, you have a tight pussy." he grunted. " I'm not even halfway in."

He began thrusting, slowly at first, allowing me to adjust to his size. Once he was fully seated in my channel he picked up his pace, pounding me fiercely.

I moaned at his ministration, my hands clawed at the cushion of the sofa.

" Oh god!" I shouted in pleasure. " Yes! Fuck me like that." I cried out as he hit my spot, rubbing it repeatedly.

My body trembled as he kept ramming me, I was at his complete mercy. My orgasm came overbearingly, causing me to convulse wildly. 

He fucked me through my climax, not stopping in the slightest. 

He was proving himself to be one of the best actors in the business. " Change position." the director ordered. 

We ended up in a reverse cowgirl. My legs were still trembling from the aftershock of my climax but I managed to sit on him, impaling myself on his cock.

I started to bounce on him, rubbing myself against his pelvis. His hands grabbed my tits from behind and kneaded them roughly. 

I was getting close again he rubbed my clit with his big fingers, making me clench around his shaft. " Yes!" I screamed, reaching another orgasm.

I collapsed on him, feeling exhausted from the intensity of my climaxes. He lifted me from his member, causing me to whine from the loss of him.

He pushed me face down on the sofa and entered me doggy style. 

His thrusts were savage and violent, he pounded me relentlessly. I loved it, the feeling of being owned by him. My body shook as he slammed into me, my tits jiggling.

His hands gripped my waist, keeping me still and preventing me from escaping his onslaught. 

" Fuck yes! Give it all to me." I screamed as he drilled into me.

"You adore my fat dick, don't you slut?" he groaned in my ear. I nodded eagerly.

Suddenly he slowed his thrusts and his member started to twitch inside of me. " Ahhh! Cum inside of me!" I shouted, squeezing him tightly.

He moaned and spurted his load into me, coating my insides with his seed. His movements were becoming slower and slower until he stopped entirely. He pulled out of me leaving me empty.

" Cut!" the director announced. 

I felt dizzy from the number of climaxes I had reached and tired from the scene. Jax helped me stand up and I thanked him. My gaze wandered searching for my son, finding him sitting far behind the camera and staring at me with an unreadable expression. 

He approached me with hesitant steps, avoiding eye contact. " So, you liked it, huh?" I teased him. 

" At first yes, while you were still making eye contact with me." he asserted. " But not at all while you two got lost fucking like animals." 

I chuckled and patted his head. " Baby, you gotta understand  that sex is not all about romance, sometimes you just wanna get lost in the act."

He avoided responding to me and walked back to the car. I pitied him, he must have been hurt by the way I acted during the shoot. 

I got cleaned and bid my farewell to all the cast, I found my baby boy playing with his phone while leaning on the car. He barely acknowledged my presence when I sat next to him. I drove back home, not daring to ask him how he felt.

" I'll order some dinner and we can watch a movie together, how does it sound?" I proposed as soon as we were in the safety of our house. 

He shrugged and kept on his phone. I decided to give him space and not bother him for the rest of the evening. 

I woke up to the sound of a knock on the door. " May I come in?" his voice was low and tender.  

I sat up and opened the door. " Of course baby, what are you doing here so late?"

He walked into my room and closed the door behind him. I could smell his cologne, a scent so fresh and enticing. " Can I sleep here tonight?" he asked shyly. 

" Of course." I welcomed him.

He hesitated not moving a centimetre. " Baby, if you want to be my partner you gotta be more confident within yourself." I began. 

" I quit as you requested, now let me show you how good I am." I added signaling him to lie with me on the bed.

He complied and snuggled next to me. I cupped his face. " Don't you want me, baby?" I whispered seductively. 

"I do." he confirmed. I kissed his lips, tasting his sweetness.

" Good. Now, let’s take off these pesky clothes." I cooed.

He stripped quickly, showing me his lean body and his hard dick. It was still impressive considering he hadn't hit puberty yet.

I removed my shirt and panties and straddled him. " Show me what you can do." I dared him.

He held my hips and guided me onto his dick, impaling me easily, I squeaked in shock. He moved his hips under me and I bounced on him, my tits swaying wildly as he pumped into me from below. 

I leaned forward and kissed his forehead, feeling the sweat droplets forming on his skin. I pressed my chest to his and kissed him passionately as he fucked me.

He reached up and played with my tits, fondling them gently. I moaned at the pleasure of it all. His finger traced circles around my nipple causing me to shudder.

He picked up speed and his thrusts became more intense, slamming into me repeatedly. I cried out in bliss from his ministrations. 

" You are gonna came me cum." I told him staring into his eyes.  

His eyes darkened. " I know, you are." he affirmed.

" Yes, baby." I moaned. I rubbed myself against him feeling his thickness fill me.

He grasped my waist and rolled us over, putting himself in control. He pinned me beneath him and fucked me savagely, his thrusts powerful and deep.

" Ahhh!" I cried out, my body shivering in ecstasy. " Make me yours." I begged.

He grunted, his expression twisted in pleasure. " Mine." he muttered. " Only mine."

His body tensed and his cock pulsed inside of me. He growled and spilt himself into me, filling my hole with his load. 

I orgasmed around him, squeezing his dick and milking him for more. 

We stayed connected for a few moments, breathing heavily, sweat dripping on our bodies.

I rolled my hips around his sensitive length. " You did good, baby." I made him moan. " But mommy demands more." 

He sighed happily but concern. " I'll do my best." he promised.

" Oh baby, I won't let you do anything less than your best and more." I rolled us once more. " You stay still and let me take care of you." 

He nodded. " Whatever you want."

I began to move my hips slowly, rotating and grinding around his semi-erect cock. His breath hitched in response. 

"You want my mouth again?" I teased. He nodded vigorously. 

I crawled down his body and took him into my mouth, sucking and licking his head and shaft.

His member grew bigger in my mouth as I pleasured it with my tongue. His hips bucked up as I sucked him, eager for more of me. 

He gasped and claimed me on him, I aligned him at my entrance and sank onto him, taking his length in one go. 

He cursed at the feeling of my inner walls gripping his hardness. His eyes roamed my body, drinking in the view of me on top of him. 

I rocked my hips, taking him deep into my core. His hands kneaded my ass as I bounced on his dick. 

I leaned down and kissed him, moaning at the feeling of his tongue in my mouth. He sucked my bottom lip and nibbled on my neck.

I moved my hips faster, increasing the pace of our coupling. His hand reached down and rubbed my clit, causing me to moan louder. 

" Yes!" I shouted as he rubbed my bud with his fingers. " You know how to make me  feel good."

His hand felt magical on my body, playing my clit. I rode him harder and harder, feeling my orgasm approaching rapidly. 

" Baby, try to hold back." I warned him, my body gave in and gushed out a torrent of liquid all over his stomach and cock.

I kept grinding on him through my climax, my muscles clenched around him.

He grunted in pain and pleasure. " Mommy!" he cried out. 

I held him still inside of me during my climax. 

I leaned in, kissing his lips eagerly. " Bravo, you didn't come yet." I praised him. " Now do all you desire to  me." 

His eyes darkened in desire. " Turn around." he demanded. I complied, crawling on my hands and knees in front of him.

" Spread your legs." he ordered. I did as told.

" What a beautiful ass you have." he complimented, slapping my cheeks lightly. 

I moaned at the sting. " Harder, baby. Spank it."

He obliged smacking me harder, reddening my skin. 

" Now, fuck it." I demanded. He didn't hesitate to plunge into me from behind, driving his cock deep inside of me.

His thrusts were brutal and relentless, he slapped my ass every time he bottomed out into me. My pussy clenched around him in pleasure.

" Ohhh!" I screamed.

His grip on my hip tightened as he fucked me wildly, his balls slapping against my thighs. His grunts were becoming more desperate and loud.

I leaned forward, bracing myself on the headboard. He bent over me and grabbed my tits, fondling and twisting them. His hot breath brushed against my ear.

" You like this?" he panted. " Being fucked by your son?"

"Yes." I breathed out. " More." I pleaded.

His fingers found my clit and rubbed it vigorously. I was close to reaching my climax again. 

" Cum with me." I ordered.

He didn't argue. " I'm going to cum!" he shouted and slammed into me one last time before he emptied himself inside of me.

I squeezed his cock as he released his seed, milking him for all his worth. He collapsed on top of me, spent. 

We remained there for a few minutes, his weight pressing down on me and his breath on my skin. His member still inside of me. 

" That was great baby." I praised him.

He rolled off me and we cuddled in bed. " Thanks." he replied.

" You deserve it." I caressed his cheek. " I love you." I admitted. 

"And I love you too, mum." he answered me. His eyes were heavy with exhaustion, his eyelids drooping shut. I watched him fall asleep, lulled by the rhythm of my heartbeat. I wrapped my arms around him and fell asleep too. 

I woke up by the tip of his fingers tracing different paths on my body, his eyes looked at me with utter devotion.  " Hi." he greeted me.

We cuddled for a bit, he got more clingy and affectionate than ever. " Baby, you gotta think to find a girlfriend sooner or later." I stated.

He frowned and squeezed my flesh in his hand. " Do not say blasphemous things." he hissed. " I won't leave you alone NEVER."

I smirked. " That's my boy." 

Flesh pressed on flesh, as we explored each other’s bodies with carnal abandon. Together we steadily built to a crescendo of ecstasy. Our faces contorted with bliss,  our breaths quickened, and our bodies tensed. We were one being, united in our mutual pleasure.

We crested the wave of rapture together. I cried out, overcome with euphoria, as he filled me with his essence. His cries mingled with mine, creating a symphony of passion.

As our bodies calmed, he collapsed on me. We shared a tender kiss, savouring the remnants of our climax. We basked in the glow of our union, our souls entwined in love.  Our embrace was eternal, a testament to the depth of our bond. We knew that nothing could ever sever the ties that bound us together.

In the silence that followed, we shared a moment of pure understanding. Our connection transcended the boundaries of familial relations, and we were one in spirit and flesh. Our love was pure, untainted by the judgement of others. We had discovered our brand of heaven, right here on earth.

Together, we embarked on a journey of endless exploration, driven by the burning fire of our desires. Every day brought new experiences, fresh adventures that fueled our passion. Our love thrived in the secrecy of our sanctuary, free from the world's prying eyes.

In our hidden paradise, we indulged in a life of hedonistic pleasures, surrendering ourselves to the whims of our hearts. We revelled in the ecstasy of our love, secure in the knowledge that we were truly, madly, deeply in love.

[sheabuttahwrites]

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire

Modern!AU Smoke x Annie

- Shea Buttah Bakery Masterlist story masterlist - sounds // Stardust - Lester Young - warnings - Explicit Language - -

Annie admired the blue lacquer on her almond-shaped nails, recalling the sweet yet straightforward request she’d gotten to polish them that color. The text had popped up the day before. So last minute—their date was tonight. But, for him, she didn’t mind so much. She’d make something shake somehow. Lucky for the both of them, her nail tech was able to squeeze her in the same day. The striking cobalt complimented her warm brown skin beautifully. Surely it would look just as good against whatever parts of him he wanted her to touch. 

He couldn't wait to see her; that was the other part of the text. She couldn't wait to see him either. It had been an entire week since they’d been able to let loose with each other. She took a bite of her sandwich, courtesy of her special someone. It was a slow Friday, though they’d just had a companywide meeting that wasn't the easiest to sit through. Sales were on a bit of a downward trend. And, though it wasn't necessarily anything abnormal, their boss, the owner, was always paranoid about any decline. 

“Hiiii—ugh, what’s that?” Her coworker Pearline’s big smile turned sour once she’d entered her office. “I was coming to see if you had some jollof or something.”

Annie couldn't help but laugh. “Nah, not today.”

“Awww.”

“You didn't bring anything? I got extra. It’s not jollof, but it’s still pretty good.” She bit into the chicken club, pointing down to the other half still wrapped in front of her.

“Yeah, I ate already. I’m just being greedy.” They shared a laugh as Pearline sat. It always tickled Annie how much Pearline could eat in contrast to how tiny she was. “Thank you, though.”

“No worries. So, you ok? I know you don't usually fare too well when the meetings get a little strict.”

“No!” She’d leaned over onto Annie’s desk with the most intense whisper, wide-eyed and dead serious. Annie laughed again. “I was just about to ask if I could chill in here until I get my feet back together.”

“Yes, you can stay.”

Pearline may have succumbed to her emotions every single time things got tense, but her work never suffered. Annie was especially grateful since they worked on the same team. 

“As a matter of fact, do you have dinner plans for tonight?”

“None that I know of. Why?”

“One second.” Annie picked up her phone and dialed her mom’s number. “Hey, Ma, what you doing?

“Hi, Annie. Are you calling to cancel?”

“Ma. No, I’m not calling to cancel. I was actually calling to ask if I could bring a colleague to dinner tonight.”

“Oh, yes, sure. That’s no problem.”

“Ok, good. This greedy girl at my job loves your food,” Annie joked, looking directly at Pearline. Drop-jawed, Pearline glared back while Annie’s mom giggled in her ear at the compliment. 

“How sweet. Yes, bring her. There will be plenty to share.”

“Alright, Ma, Thank you. I gotta get back to work. I do have to leave dinner early tonight, but I will be there.”

“Aniola!”

“I know, I know. I’ll make it up to you and dad, I promise.” 

“You're becoming like a stranger. I’m concer—”

Annie took the phone from her ear, not liking the direction their conversation was heading in. Especially not during what was left of her lunch break. “Ok, love you, Ma. See you in a little bit.” She ended the call with a sigh, knowing she would have to hear more of it later. “Now, you can have all the jollof your lil heart desires.”

Pearline lit up. “For real? I’m coming to dinner?”

“Yes. My mom loves feeding folks. And, whatever you do, please don’t turn down any food.”

“What? That will not be a problem.” 

In the midst of Annie’s laughter and Pearline’s celebration, their boss passed by and stuck his head into the room. 

“Am I interrupting?”

Pearline froze. His presence was like that. Quiet, but big. Heavy. Felt down to the bones. He was also quite stoic, but something about him felt warm. To Annie anyway.

“Uh, no,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve just invited Pearline to dinner with my family tonight. Is everything ok?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to drop off your five year plaque.” He walked in and held it out to her. “Congratulations.”

“Oh. Yeah. Thanks.” Her anniversary hadn't even crossed her mind. She took the plaque from his hand, reading the short message thanking her for her many contributions over the years. 

“Your bonus will be reflected in your next paycheck.” Ears pricked, Annie looked up from her award. “We appreciate you around here. The machine wouldn’t run half as smoothly without you.”

“Awww. Thank you, Elijah.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll leave you to it.”

He was almost out of the room when Annie stopped him. “Hey, um… do you like Nigerian food?”

“…I’ve only had it once, but I did enjoy it.”

“Then you should come tonight, too. My parents are lovely hosts.”

Pearline, whose usually boisterous self had remained as quiet as a church mouse, almost reacted, but she caught herself. 

Elijah was a little skeptical. In a couple seconds, he’d already thought up a few reasons why he should decline. For one, he already had plans for the night. He’d also never accepted any invite to anything from any of his employees. But he knew he couldn't pass this up. “Ok… I will. Thank you.”

“No worries. Hopefully you can handle spice.”

“I handle it just fine.”

“Alright.”

Annie would bet her bonus that she’d caught the faintest grin on his face on his way out. She smiled to herself. As soon as he was out of earshot, Pearline turned to her with a very apparent frown.

“Why did you invite him? He’s the reason I need to decompress in the first place. Did you forget he just yelled at us because his sales are slightly lower?”

Annie laughed. “He did not yell.”

“He might as well have.” She looked back to make sure the coast was still clear. “He’s mean as a rattlesnake.”

“He’s stern, but he’s not mean. To be fair, this is a pretty substantial business he’s running here. That must come with some stress.” 

“Mhm.” Annie laughed again as Pearline’s eyes rolled. “Have you ever seen him smile? You were just smiling at him and he didn't even give you one back. Not even after your invitation.”

“Fair, but he was still doing a kind gesture. He’s always helpful if someone’s having trouble. Our pay is amazing. And it’s pretty lax here, too. No one hangs over your shoulder, micromanaging you to death.”

Pearline had to agree, but she hated every second of it, hanging her head with an exaggerated sigh.

“Trust me, girl, I've had some awful bosses. He’s a man of few words and, no, he never smiles,” a little giggle slipped through, “but I think he cares.”

“Ugh… I guess you’re right. You always talk me off the ledge.”

“At this point, I’m about to board up the damn window.���

“Oop!”

A laugh buzzed past Pearline’s lips, and she threw her hand over her mouth way too late. It was so quiet in the building, which only made it funnier. In a pitiful attempt to hold it together, Annie put her head down on her desk as they silently died in tandem. She looked up just in time to see a tear fall onto Pearline’s cheek and she lost it. She sprang up and spun her chair around, slapping her hand against her knee. It was getting harder and harder for her to stay halfway civil. Pearline had to go. 

“Get out.”

“My break is over anyway. Bye.”

“And close my door.”

She disappeared and Annie was wiping her eyes when she caught a notification on her phone just as her screen was going dark. She got the rest of her giggles out and went to check it, but decided to finish the last few bites of her lunch first, thinking it would be her mom. 

It was her beau. 

Wear your hair up darling. And I wanna see that ass in a skirt. Show off all that pretty shit for me

She smiled down at her phone. Before she could stop herself, she was biting her lip. 

i can do that

You know what ima do?

i got an idea but tell me anyway

She sat with bated breath, knowing he was about to mess her up. She could feel her body warming already.

Ima fuck you so good mama. I gotta let you feel how much I miss you

Just like that, her heart was about to jump out of her chest.

i miss you too baby

I want that pussy so bad I can already feel you gripping me. I can hear those sweet sounds you make when I’m sucking on your clit

Yearning dropped into the pit of her stomach and she squeezed her thighs together, trying her best to quell it. Of course that wasn’t enough. She looked up to make sure no one could see her falling apart. Damn those walls for being made of glass.

Smoke you know i’m at work. got me throbbing under this desk ife mi (my love)

Don't worry ima see bout that tonight

She put her head back on her chair and closed her eyes, sighing frustratedly. He had her so wet. And she still had half a shift left to work. She was also due back on the clock soon. 

fuck my break is almost over, but wait until i get my hands on you 

I’m ready

good. i got a little request for you too

Yeah? 

leave your suit on. i wanna undress you myself. then i’m swallowing. every. inch!

Mmmm I look forward to it

@blackerthings @judymfmoody @lyrarodriguez @fendionmyfeet @fadingbelieverexpert @chaneajoyyy @astoldbychae @hotgrlcece @daddiespamm @lovethecheri @xo-goldengirl @miyuhpapayuh @buttrflybby @jiminie-08 @queengodiva619 @soufcakmistress @shiania @motheroffae @savagemickey03 @infinity2 @uhhh-nunyabidniz-heaux @deepinmydaydream -taglist-

[myntrose]

10:52 pm - domestic moments (indoor date night) w/caleb

Your ever busy schedule can only be matched with Caleb's even busier workload. Both of you knew that your relationship would involve a lot less physical time with each other. You're lucky to even see him in the morning before him or you head to work.

That's why date nights are especially rare. Again, it wasn't like you both didn't want to have a nice night out every now and then. However, the amount of times a date night had to be postponed, rescheduled, or downright canceled due to work has caused a major headache in your lives.

Caleb hadn't realized how much this affected you. It wasn't until he once came home, at the dead of night, to see you silently sobbing into your shared bed that he realized that he hasn't truly seen much of you in a long time.

And oh, he hates seeing you cry. He hated being the reason why tears feel upon your face. Approaching you in bed, he cupped your face while holding your body close. Caleb promises you a night, where it would just be you and him together. Separate from the world. Away from life and its responsibilities that tugged away from you. While it was only for a night, it was a start.

That's how tonight happens. You had some work duties during the morning, but Caleb told you not to worry and just make it home in one piece. A surprise, he has said. You could barely focus at work, buzzing at each tick of the clock until work hours ended. What had Caleb planned? A fancy reservation at a new restaurant? Maybe a picnic in some hidden spot? Hell, even if it was just hanging out at home and playing board games you were down. All you wanted was to finally spend some time with your boyfriend.

You could have rivaled the speed of light with how fast you sprinted out the building. After a few long, excruciating hours of sitting around work and basically doing nothing, you could finally go home and spend time with Caleb.

As you walk home, you realize that it had started to rain. So, that probably ruled out the plan of an outdoor date. A shame, but you're sure you'll still have fun. You enter your (and Caleb's) shared home, only to be hit with the smell of your favorite dish wafting through the air.

Behind the stove was none other than the man who looked at you like he was looking at his own salvation. Caleb seems focused on the task in front of him. Of course he knew your favorite food. Sometimes it scares you, the fact that he knows more about you than you do about yourself.

Making your way to him, you greet him by wrapping your arms around his body. He doesn't act surprise, almost as if he knew you had been there the whole time (he did, he always knew when you entered a room).

He puts down his utensils, setting the heat to low, before turning to you. Before you can process it, Caleb picks you up, and sets you down on the counter next to him. He decides to settle between your legs, caging you with his large body. His face buries itself into the nook of your neck.

You can feel his breath turning more and more steady. With this proximity, you can feel his heartbeat. It mimics your own, quick but controlled, sporadic but at peace. Despite having been together for a while now, neither of you can help this feeling of deep devotion towards each other.

Much against his wishes to stay like this forever, Caleb moves away first, greeting you with that same smile that you fell in love with years ago.

"missed you, pipsqueak"

Three words. one being that nickname you've grown to love. it doesn't take much to cause your heart to beat a bit faster.

"Go ahead a wash up. I already made your bath. We're having a movie night, and we can eat on the couch"

Nodding at his words, you hop off the counter, leaving Caleb to finish cooking your meal. He wasn't kidding about preparing your bath. You enter the bathroom to see the bath ready, bubbles and bath salts, your favorite products lined up. God, Caleb knew you so well.

Although staying in the bath was a tempting option, you wanted nothing more but to be within Caleb's proximity. So, you push yourself out of the comfort of the bath, and throw on your favorite pajamas- that being a pair of your shorts and Caleb's t-shirt.

Meanwhile in the living room, Caleb had prepared everything. He had picked out your favorite movies, set up dinner on the coffee table, and arranged your favorite snacks as well. He was just about done setting up when he seeing you emerge from your shared room.

God, you're beautiful, he thinks. Yes, your hair is still damp, you're wearing the baggiest clothes, wearing no makeup or anything. Yes, he still thinks you the most beautiful thing in this world.

You see the spread that Caleb has prepared, and it makes you want to tear up a bit. He did all this, taken a day of work, to prepare a night where it was just you two in your own world.

Caleb pulls you from your spot, dragging you into the couch. He sets you both to where your legs are on top of his. He throws over a blanket over you two, and presses play on the first movie.

It never has to be fancy or intricate with Caleb. He knows you, and knows exactly what to do during these rare times when you both care indulge each other's company.

While you know that you both have to return to the real world tommorow, you settle into the comfortable space you've both created for each other.

I need lover boy!caleb now pls and thank you

[inkskinned]

she's three years younger than i am, and i put on cascada as a throwback, cackling - before your time! i've been borrowing my brother's car, and it's older than dirt, so the trunk is like, maybe permanently locked. when the sun comes through the window to frame her cheekbones, i feel like i'm 16 again. i shake when i'm kissing her, worried i won't get it right.

in 2003, my state made gay marriage legal. where she grew up, it wasn't legal until 11 years later - 10 years ago. if legal protections for gay marriage were a person, that person would be entering 5th grade. online, a white gay man calls the fight for legal marriage boring, which isn't kind of him but it is a common enough opinion.

it has only been 9 years since gay marriage was nationally official. it is already boring to have gay people in your tv. it is already boring to mention being gay - "why make it your entire personality?" i know siblings that have a larger age gap than the amount of time it's been legally protected. i recently saw a grown man record himself crying about how evil gay people are. he was begging us, red in the face - just do better.

i am absolutely ruined any time my girlfriend talks about being 27 (i know!! a child!), but we actually attended undergrad at the same time since i had taken off time to work between high school and college. while walking through the city, we drop our hands, try not to look too often at each other. the other day i went to an open mic in a basement. the headlining comedian said being lesbian isn't interesting, but i am a lesbian, if you care. as a joke, she had any lesbian raise their hand if present. i raised mine, weirdly embarrassed at being the single hand in a sea of other faces. she had everyone give me a round of applause. i felt something between pride and also throwing up.

sometimes one thing is also another thing. i keep thinking about my uncle. he died in the hospital without his husband of 35 years - they were not legally wed, so his husband could not enter. this sounds like it should be from 1950. it happened in 2007. harassment and abuse and financial hardship still follow any person who is trying to get married while disabled. marriage equality isn't really equal yet.

and i don't know that i can ever put a name to what i'm experiencing. sometimes it just feels... so odd to watch the balance. people are fundamentally uninterested in your identity, but also - like, there's a whole fucking bastion of rabid men and women who want to kill you. your friends roll their eyes you're gay we get it and that is funny but like. when you asked your father do you still love me? he just said go to your room. you haven't told your grandmother. disney is on their 390th "first" gay representation, but also cancelled owl house and censored the fuck out of gravity falls. you actively got bullied for being gay, but your advisor told you to find a different gimmick for your college essay - everyone says they're gay these days.

once while you were having a hard day you cried about the fact that the reason our story is so fucking boring to so many people is that it is so similar. that it is rare for one of us to just, like, have a good experience across the board. that our stories often have very parallel bends - the dehumanization, the trauma, the trouble with trusting again. these become rote instead of disgusting. how bad could it be if it is happening to so many people?

i kiss my girlfriend when nobody is looking. i like her jawline and how her hands splay when she's making a joke. there is nothing new about this story, sappho. i love her like opening up the sun. like folding peace between the layers of my life, a buttercream of euphoria, freckles and laughter and wonder.

my dad knows about her. i've been out to him since i was 18 - roughly four years before the supreme court would protect us. the other day he flipped down the sun visor while driving me to the eye doctor. "you need to accept that your body was made for a husband. you want to be a mother because you were made for men, not women." he wants me to date my old high school boyfriend. i gagged about it, and he shook his head. he said - "don't be so dramatic. you can get used to anything."

the other day a straight friend of mine snorted down her nose about it, accidentally echoing him - she said there are bigger problems in this world than planning a wedding.

[mjldx7]

Jiuyuan Idea!

(Fair warning, new ideas are being added to this on and off, so there might be new bits added to it, the plot doesn't change tho so don't worry!)

-MJ. 05/27/2025

...

The Warm Red Pavilion always smelled of a strong incense, the smell was overwhelming. Shen Jiu hated it. But he would deal with it, it helped when everything else in his head was overwhelming him. One big overwhelming thing to cancel out all of the small things adding up...

It didn't help he hasn't gotten the chance to sleep in over a month. Being a cultivator he could still live with it but his whole body ached, he was tired. Qi-ge Yue Qingyuan kept bothering him. Apologies are worth nothing, not from him,

'Xiao-Jiu. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'M sorry, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY XIAO-JIU!'

'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SORRY FOR!? LEAVING ME IN HELL, NOT COMING BACK FOR ME, LETTING ME DIE AT HIS HANDS!?! Why Qi-ge... just why?-'

How he wished he could say that to Yue Qingyuan, he wished he could bash that traitor's brains in for leaving him 'there' to die. For apologizing without a reason behind it. He just wanted an answer-

"I'm so sorry A-Jiu but... all of the girls have been booked out for the night."

Why, the one time he was able to come? Why did this have to happen!?

He sighed, he knew it wasn't thier faults if all these disgusting men- ew. "Are you sure Madam Yu? What about Su-Jiejie, or Xin-Jiejie. Are either of them booked tonight?" They couldn't be, they were high ranking, anyone who wanted to spend a night with them would surely go broke till thier next reincarnation cycle. They wouldn't be-

"I'm afraid they've been bought out for the night as well A-Jiu, a few rich merchants stopped by the Pavilion tonight and booked out most of the girls including them. We still have a few male courtesan but..."

"Absolutely not"

"A-Jiu, I know you don't feel comfortable--" Hah... if only that was the whole story. "But they would never do anything to you. Please, at least try, Mingshan was so concerned after last time. This could be good for you."

Last time he had decided to go to the Warm Red Pavilion, some drunk had tried touching him while he was having tea with Lan Yuqin in the main room. He felt filthy after, his guard was down because he thought he was safe when he was surrounded by people he trusted, but no, of course not. He felt sick after all of it and Mingshan, one of the newer courtesans who he'd recently become close with, had seen him getting sick in his room with Lan Yuqin and Su Jinmao there.

"What about A-Yuan, he's-"

"Madam Yu I would but I can't go all the way to the Lotus Pavilion to see A-Yuan this time."

A-Yuan was a mystery, Shen Jiu hated him... but he was safe. Unlike every other men Shen Jiu had ever met, A-Yuan felt safe. He would talk on and on about the dumbest of things, but Shen Jiu could never get mad at him for it. He was too kind, too innocent and naive. He looked at Shen Jiu as if he meant something, even knowing who he was.

Madam Yu and the girls knew about A-Yuan of course, he had told them about him after his first time at the Lotus Pavilion. He had... fallen asleep with A-Yuan in the small room he had been given at the Lotus Pavilion. It scared him, but he was warm upon waking up. Something he didn't think was possible anymore near a man.

Shen Yuan was a mystery, and Shen Jiu almost didn't want to find out just what he was hiding anytime he was in the Lotus Pavilion. If not just for one more chance to feel safe around one man who seemed to truly care for him if nothing else.

"-that was changed, A-Jiu. He was bought off-"

Right, he had tuned Madam Yu out... 'He was bought off', what? Is she talking about A-Yuan, where was he then? Did his contract get paid for by some rich man or-

"--A-Yuan is supposed to be done playing a game of go with a client in the main room soon if-"

"He's here!?"

Oops, bit too loud...

A couple drunk heads turned towards the front desk where Shen Jiu and Madam Yu was standing, along with a few of the newer courtesans who were playing games with clients.

"Were you not listening to anything I was saying boy!?" Madam Yu exclaimed before sighing. "We had a courtesan exchange between a couple of the nearby brothels, one of those including the Lotus Pavilion. Shen Yuan was one of the courtesan that transferred here for the exchange."

Well that was... shocking. A-Yuan was pretty high ranking even at the Lotus Pavilion, what, who did they have to trade here for him to be moved here?

"I see, then if I may after he is done with his client?" At least he could still sleep tonight...

"Yeah, yeah, silly boy. Just go find him in the main room and after he is done you can head to your normal room" Madam Yu sighed again before waving Shen Jiu off, not even seeming to remember to charge him for the night. Oh well, he will drop off the money in the morning, after he is able to sleep.

...

"Oh hell no! You absolutely cheated-"

"Hey pretty lady~ surely you-"

"Good game-"

"Hey! Where is the alcohol!?-"

The main room was too loud, to crowded. Shen Jiu hated when it was this busy. He's too tired now, he just wants to find A-Yuan and sleep.

"-You did amazing in that game! I'm impressed-"

A-Yuan, that was his voice. Where-

Shen Jiu saw Shen Yuan near the stage. Cleaning up a go board while a drunk, greasy looking client sat across from him. The Lotus Pavilion always had thier courtesans wear purple or pink, such as the name. The Warm Red Pavilion had no such rules.

Maybe the reason Shen Jiu always felt so comfortable around A-Yuan was because his voice was a lot softer, more like a woman's. Or how the pink robes he nornally had on made him more feminine. He had always used that excuse as to why A-Yuan felt safe.

A-Yuan looked better now. He had on a light green robe, it matched nicely with his eyes. When Shen Jiu had looked at A-Yuan's eyes closely for the first time, he noticed the small pink specks among light green... The robe was far to low cut and a bit see through to be truly comfortable for anyone not used to wearing such garments, but it still suited A-Yuan nicely. He had his hair fully down this time, trailing down to the middle of his back. The light pink rouge that stained his lips and cheeks made him look softer, matching the expression on his face.

He looked like a god, no, better. He shouldn't be socializing with some nobody. He shouldn't be treating some nobody like he cares when he clearly doesn't. Maybe the man is just to drunk to realize that little crease between A-Yuan' eyes, the way his smile twitched down a little whenever the man tried to touch his hands.

It annoyed Shen Jiu to no end seeing that man touch A-Yuan like that. Shouldn't he be able to tell how uncomfortable it makes him!? Shen Jiu must have been glaring because a couple of customers nearby backed away slightly apon seeing him, not that he cared really, just-.

"A-Yuan."

A warmth seemed to show up in his stomach upon seeing A-Yuan turn to him smiling. Not a fake smile he'd give clients, a real one. He looked at Shen Jiu as if he was world. Shen Jiu hated to say that he almost liked the feeling.

"A-Jiu! When did you get here? OMG, (such a weird phrase, Shen Jiu always wondered about some of the things Shen Yuan said) please tell me your spending the night! I have so much gossip to tell you since the last time you visited the Lotus Pavilion! You would not believe what Lan-Jiejie did to one of the customers. Oh and I have that bestiary that you let me borrow from last time! I had completely forgot to return it back to you. Oh, Oh! How have things been on Qing Jing Peak, have-"

A-Yuan had stood up from his seat beaming, running over to Shen Jiu and grabbing his hand. Only looking at the brothel madam; who gave a fake annoyed look, waving him off quickly to say yes, before dragging Shen Jiu to the stairs up to his room. Completely seeming to forget about the drunk man he was originally playing with.

"A-Yuan, calm down." A-Yuan's hands were always so warm compared to his own. But, he let himself be held by the other man for some reason he still had yet to figure out. "You didn't say that you were moving to the Warm Red Pavilion?"

"Oh yeah! That was pretty recent so I never got the chance to send a letter up to you. It took way to long to get rooms set up and everything!" A-Yuan said with a sigh, though the excitement not really leaving his face as he let go of Shen Jiu's hand to grab a small jade tablet and held it up to the Shen Jiu's room door. The door quickly swinging open as Shen Jiu was dragged yet again, this time into his room by A-Yuan. The warmth of A-Yuan's hand not fading though he as the courtesan let go of his hand to help remove his outer robes. Chattering happily as he did so.

"Oh and all this happened and- oh right I forgot! A-Jiu, you will not believe what happened last week! Lan-Jiejie actually slapped a client because-"

Shen Jiu just let Shen Yuan gossip, as A-Yuan sat down on the bed bringing him down onto it as well, now in just his inner robes, pants, socks, and guan. The last being carefully removed by A-Yuan and set down on the nearby table.

Shen Jiu let himself lay his head on A-Yuan lap while A-Yuan continued to say something about some beast he had supposedly 'read about', even if they both knew that wasn't true. A-Yuan running his fingers through Shen Jiu's hair softly as he did so. Untangling the small knots that his fingers caught on.

It was peaceful. Sitting down with Shen Yuan here. Just talking and letting Shen Jiu rest as he knew he so desperately needed.

"Oh yeah! How have your kids been A-Jiu? Did Yingning finally get any better at her calligraphy? I know that Ning-Jiejie had no talent in writing when she was still young so-"

"No." Shen Jiu lighty pinched Shen Yuan's thigh, chuckling internationally at A-Yuan's surprised squeak. "I am not going to gossip about my disciples A-Yuan, they are a headache enough without you exclaiming how cute they sound in whatever stories."

"A-Jiuuuuuuuuu!"

"No"

Shen Jiu could tell Shen Yuan was pouting now. A-Yuan always looked cute when he was pouting. Not like that mattered of course!

"...A-Jiu~" Shen Yuan's tone was softer now though. It was teasing, but not in a bad way.

"Brat, what do you want now."

"How rude A-Jiu! I am not a brat!" A-Yuan exclaimed dramatically, his tone teasing though at Shen Jiu's name calling. Speaking again a decent bit calmer only a few seconds later. "I just wanted to ask a question."

Shen Jiu was going to look up, but A-Yuan's lap was comfy and exhaustion was really starting to take over his body.

"Hmm?"

"...A-Jiu, what would you say if I had a client who might be willing to buy out my contract soon?"

All the exhaustion in Shen Jiu's body suddenly seemed to fade away at Shen Yuan's question. A cold feeling spreading throughout his body. Who was buying out A-Yuan's contract? Was it some creep? Shen Jiu still hasn't figured out why A-Yuan felt safe. Shen Jiu quickly sat up from Shen Yuan's lap. Glaring at A-Yuan even if he didn't mean too.

"No."

"A-Jiu. What do you mean no? ...This could be my chance to get away from all of 'this'."

"Well whose planning on buying you out!? Do you trust them not to still treat you like a courtesan? Do you really think any filthy man who bought you out would treat you human still?"

Shen Jiu hated how angry his voice sounded, he hated how his words made A-Yuan's smile fade. He hated this. He hated whatever faceless stranger that wanted to take A-Yuan away so that he couldn't see him anymore. He hated whoever dared try and take A-Yuan-

"A-Jiu-"

"I'll buy out your contract and take you back to Qing Jing Peak."

...Shen Yuan looked shocked, opening his mouth as if to say something and then quickly shutting it. To be honest, Shen Jiu was just as shocked at his own offer. Sure, it wasn't the first time Shen Jiu had thought about buying Shen Yuan's contract. But, the Lotus Pavilion didn't give courtesans a choice if they had an offer on thier contract. Shen Jiu would never force Shen Yuan to go with him, nor would he ever want Shen Yuan to feel pressured into something he didn't want. The fact that he had said it now...

"You'll have free reign of all of Qing Jing Peak, you could choose if you wanted to help teach classes like you've always seemed to have an intrest in doing. You could come with me on night hunts if you wanted and be able to visit the Jiejies here or at the Lotus Pavilion whenever you would want."

Just don't accept that faceless man taking you away from me. You seem to care, you don't fake a smile around me, you've become a safe space for me. Please don't let me lose you too...

Of course Shen Jiu would never say that last bit out loud, that last thought of desperation was his and his alone.

"A-Jiu, that's... I don't- why?"

Even with the confusion in A-Yuan's voice it sounded like he was actually considering it. But, Shen Jiu didn't think he could give an answer as to why. Not one that could explain how A-Yuan made him feel, so, he just laid his head back down on A-Yuan's lap. Closing his eyes and allowing himself to fall asleep rather then face some truth he couldn't bring himself to say out loud.

...

It didn't take A-Yuan long to pack up all his things into Shen Jiu's qiankun bag the next morning, he didn't have much after all other then gifts from clients and robes. Shen Jiu had taken the time while A-Yuan was packing to send a qi message to his disciples to set up the side room of the bamboo house, along with paying the madam for the previous night and A-Yuan's contract. Madam Yu was a bit shocked at seeing Shen Jiu actually buy out a courtesan, much more a male one at that but was supportive none the less.

The girls all surrounded the two of them on thier way out. Telling Shen Jiu to visit soon while congratulating Shen Yuan, hugging and kissing him goodbye. The latter stirring up an odd feeling in Shen Jiu's gut he didn't like in the slightest. He would have called it jealousy, but, like that would ever be the case.

A-Yuan still seemed shocked at the whole ordeal, almost as shocked as Shen Jiu himself but now with excitement clear behind his eyes as well. The moment he saw Shen Jiu pull out Xiu Ya, he looked like a child seeing fireworks for the first time. He wasn't scared of the idea of flying on a sword, when Shen Jiu had wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him steady in front of him, he seemed to relax. Shen Jiu hated to admit that he smiled slightly when A-Yuan was focused on watching the town houses slowly become smaller as they ascended.

"A-Jiu this is so cool! I don't see why cultivators would ever want to ride boring carriages over this. This is awesome!" A-Yuan exclaimed within the first 2 minutes up in the air. Eyes shining, looking ahead at two-headed ferret fly that had just fluttered bye.

"It's simpler and uses less qi A-Yuan, but yes... it is sort of cool I suppose." Shen Jiu had never thought of it as cool before. But, seeing A-Yuan love it some much, maybe he could start to see the appeal a bit more...

It took only a few incense time to reach Cang Qiong Mountian after speeding up. A-Yuan did NOT squeal like a happy child when Shen Jiu did NOT do a few tricks while they were both still a bit far away from the peaks. Nope, not at all! Not at all...

...

Shen Jiu eventually landed down onto the rainbow bridge. Helping Shen Yuan down from Xiu Ya as the former courtesan took in the sights. Shen Jiu had never really cared for how "beautiful" the rainbow bridge was, but seeing Shen Yuan look at it with some much excitement, he started to like it a bit more, he saw why some people might find it a bit cool.

"A-Jiu, this is so cool! But how does this even work? Is the bridge like actually a rainbow? How is it made, is it like qi made? Oh, oh! How is it held up, is it-"

"S-Shizun!"

Shen Jiu was about to cut Shen Yuan off honestly so they could get to the bamboo house. But his disciple doing it was a far different story. Gods, he was going to wip someone...

The disciple landed a couple feet away from the Peak Lord and his new guest, looking anxious while bowing. They clearly had something to say, Shen Jiu had a bad feeling that he wouldn't like it.

"...Shizun" Shen Jiu is going to wip someone now. And he has a feeling he knows who. "S-Shizun, when s...some disciples were cleaning out the side r-room of the bamboo house... Z-Zhangman-Shibo had went to Qing Jing Peak looking for y-you." Shen Jiu is going to wip Yue Qingyuan, no one is going to fucking stop him.

"A-Jiu, why would the Sect Leader go to your Peak again, haven't you told your disciples that he shouldn't be around there unless there is a meeting scheduled?"

Shen Jiu is not in fact going to wip someone.

'(Shen Jiu is going to simp publicly and make it everyones problem.) - MJ'

Ignoring his disciple in favor of answering Shen Yuan's question, Shen Jiu was suddenly stopped by seeing an unfortunately familiar figure flying straight towards him.

Shen Jiu is going to wip Qi Qingqi.

"Shen Qingqiu! Do you have no shame!? Buying a courtesan! Do you not care at all for your Peak and the rest of Cang Qiong's reputation!?" The lady devil-spotted porcupine herself yelled landing on the bridge, shoving Shen Jiu's disciple away in favor of grabbing onto the front of Shen Jiu's robes roughly.

Shen Jiu was about to speak up, but, "Apologies Peak Lord Qi, but this one's was under the impression that your Peak bought out courtesans and slaves frequently?" A-Yuan spoke up, a far to polite tone being used. Already taking a few steps forward and resting a hand onto Qi Qingqi's. A silent request for her to let go of Shen Jiu.

Shen Jiu is not going to wip Qi Qingqi, he is in fact though, going to let A-Yuan have his fun.

"You- Are you the whore this bastard bought? You have no reason to stand up him if he is clearly forcing you!"

Shen Jiu is going to kill Qi Qingqi. He is going to kill Qi Qingqi for calling A-Yuan a whore. He is going to kill Qi Qingqi for daring to be rude to what, who is now HIS. He is going to tear off her limbs one by one, he is going to gouge out her eye first then tear out her tongue. He is going to-

"Peak Lord Qi, I advise you not to listen to common hearsay. A-Jiu has never been anything but a gentleman to everyone at both the Lotus and Warm Red Pavilion. He is far kinder then anyone I have ever met and would never do something cruel to myself, he is no bastard. And much more then that, A-Jiu is my close friend and I went with him willingly. Courtesans can decline purchases at the Warm Red Pavilion if they feel unsafe at the hands of thier buyer and A-Jiu has never once made me feel unsafe."

How... can A-Yuan say this with so much confidence? How can he make Shen Jiu sound like a saint, Shen Jiu is no saint. He knows this, but hearing A-Yuan say all this, maybe he wouldn't mind being one if it was only for A-Yuan...

Qi Qingqi was sputtering by the time A-Yuan had finished speaking. If anything she seemed more stunned that anyone would actually speak against her then speak up for her martial sibling. Shen Jiu smiled behind his fan.

"Qi-Shimei, if you are done causing useless fights then this shixiong and his 'friend' will be heading to Qing Jing Peak." Shen Jiu finally spoke up closing his fan and putting it in his sleeve before grabbing Shen Yuan's hand. Xiao-Jiu had always held onto people's hands tightly for fear of them running off. Shen Jiu held people's hands or wrists to pin them down in a fight. Shen Qingqiu didn't touch anyone willingly.

A-Jiu, held onto A-Yuan's hand gently, he wasn't scared Xiao-Jiu, he wasn't Shen Jiu surviving by fighting, he wasn't Shen Qingqiu who hated touch. Even with others around, he was just A-Jiu around A-Yuan, and to be honest, he didn't really mind. He liked it almost.

Glaring at his disciple off to the side who quickly got the message and got on thier sword, flying away. Qi Qingqi looked at Shen Jius and Shen Yuans hands together, a strange look of disgust, confusion, shock, and a few other emotions even Shen Jiu couldn't tell on her face. She snapped out of it though when both Shens had started to walk past her.

"Oh hell no! You can't just running off, Zhangman-Shixiong called a Peak Lord Meeting because of what you did and all of the other Peak Lords have been waiting for you to get back. You and that whore are going to Qiong Ding Peak!"

Qi Qingqi tried to grabbing onto Shen Jiu wrist while speak but A-Yuan had grabbed onto her wrist first surprisingly. Likely because Qi Qingqi didn't actually expect him to actually do anything,

"Peak Lord Qi, don't touch people without thier permission. That is one the first rules you learn as a courtesan, maybe you would do well to learn some of those rules." A-Yuan said with a clearly fake smile before adding. "Though, before learning some of the standard courtesan rules, it might actually be a bit better that you found some face powder and rouge, it might help for any courtesan kind enough to teach you if you first looked as if you could actually pull a client."

Shen Jiu might not murder Qi Qingqi just yet, Shen Jiu is much more intrigued letting A-Yuan have his fun.

...

While Qi Qingqi was still in shock at the insults to her appearance, Shen Yuan had already let go of her wrist and followed Shen Jiu stepping up onto Xiu Ya. Shen Jiu wrapping an arm back around A-Yuan's waist and flying off to Qing Jing Peak before anyone else could stop them. Shen Jiu will deal with his martial siblings idiocy later. They aren't ever going to be his main focus, they never have been and he doesn't plan to put them any higher on his priorities now that he has a new one in the top spot.

"A-Jiu... Why didn't you stand up for yourself? You have never once hurt any of the courtesans or servants at the brothel. But, that your martial sibling seemed so convinced." It only took a minute for A-Yuan to speak up, his tone seemed sad, more disappointed then anything. He had put his hand over the one Shen Jiu had tightened around his waist. But, he didn't turn to look back at Shen Jiu, not even a glance.

It hurt more when A-Yuan wouldn't even face him. It hurt horribly when A-Yuan sounded so sad for Shen Jiu. It hurt when Shen Jiu realized that Shen Yuan would figure out just what his martial siblings thought of him in person. It hurt when he realized that A-Yuan would be treated no different by so many of the Peak Lords because of who Shen Jiu was.

...

It only took a couple minutes to arrive at Qing Jing Peak from the rainbow bridge. A-Yuan allowed Shen Jiu to help him down from Xiu Ya but stayed silent. Shen Jiu could tell A-Yuan was looking around at the bamboo forests, the nearby meditation building, the pathways. A-Yuan looked at all of Qing Jing Peak in awe, his eyes shone even when his expression was so dim.

Shen Jiu lead A-Yuan up the paths of Qing Jing Peak. He didn't care enough to make the few disciples bold enough to follow go away. He was too focused on the wonder in A-Yuan's eyes even as the former courtesan avoided his gaze. Shen Jiu never let go of A-Yuan's hand leading him up to the bamboo house all the way near the top of Qing Jing Peak, Shen Yuan didn't make him.

A-Yuan was still mad for Shen Jiu's sake, but he was even more mad at the fact Shen Jiu wouldn't even stand up for himself. Shen Jiu had a bad feeling that A-Yuan would be doing his best to stand up for him, knowing his past. What happened to him, why he visited brothels, why he refused help, why he is scared. (scared, sorry if it is hard to read lol)

One of Shen Jiu's disciples were waiting outside the bamboo house already by the time him and A-Yuan got closer. He handed Shen Jiu a scroll and looked hesitant but handed Shen Yuan a similar one before bowing deeply to Shen Jiu. The disciple didn't even bow to Shen Yuan though. He just ran off instead.

Shen Jiu is going to wip that disciple, now that, is going to happen no matter what. Shen Jiu has taught his disciples better. The disrespect-

Shen Jiu heard A-Yuan make a small sound just then. He saw how his nails had been digging into A-Yuan's hand without him realizing. He had hurt him. He had hurt A-Yuan. He is no better then some normal man, he-

Shen Jiu hurt Shen Yuan. Shen Jiu was mad at himself, Shen Jiu was mad at his martial siblings, Shen Jiu was mad that he hurt- Shen Jiu hurt HIS A-Yuan. Shen Jiu deserves to die, he deserves to be tortured, he deserves- HE HURT A-YUAN!

"...-A-Jiu, calm down. Focus on my voice, it isn't worth it. You're going into a qi deviation."

Shen Jiu could feel A-Yuan's hands lightly holding onto the sides of his face. He could see Shen Yuan's concerned expression. Shen Jiu knew that A-Yuan had seen him go into a qi deviation before while at the Lotus Pavilion. He knew he should calm down for fear of hurting A-Yuan again, but why-

"Shen Qingqiu!"

Perfect timing...

Shen Jiu was about to respond but he was lightly pushed behind someone, the person's hands pushing him were warm. Oh, A-Yuan. Shen Jiu realized A-Yuan was opening up the door to the bamboo house, helping him inside and closing the door behind the two of them. Not caring much for a certian brute who had just called out for Shen "Qingqiu".

Shen Jiu could vaguely tell that A-Yuan was helping him over to his room, asking him something that he couldn't make out. Shen Jiu could tell that a bit of blood had started to fall from his lips and ears, and his vision was slowly becoming red. He couldn't really tell whenever it was that A-Yuan had sat him down on his bed. Nor could he really tell what A-Yuan was doing when A-Yuan seemed to be looking throughout Shen Jiu's room for something. It seemed like A-Yuan had found whatever he was looking for when Shen Jiu heard him, just faintly. He was asking something, he was telling Shen Jiu to do something, Shen Jiu couldn't tell what.

Shen Jiu could tell though when A-Yuan had gently opened his mouth with his fingers, and he could feel when A-Yuan had pushed a small pill into his mouth. He wanted it to spit it out, it tasted horrible. But, he swallowed it, maybe it was because he trusted A-Yuan...

...

Shen Jiu could tell when a familiar medicine had started to flow from his meridians, torn and jagged. The ladies at the brothels Shen Jiu frequented; The Lotus Pavilion, The Warm Red Pavilion, always had a couple bottles of medicine like this for when Shen Jiu had visited.

Shen Jiu could feel the qi in his meridians start to stabilize, he could feel someone running a damp cloth across his face where he could see blood starting to dry. His eyes were still stained red with blood, he felt tired. Shen Jiu didn't want to open his eyes right now. He felt warm, safe for once...

Shen Jiu fell asleep, safe, for the first time on Cang Qiong Mountian.

...

When Shen Jiu woke up he was cold again. He hated the feeling with a burning passion, hah, how ironic... He could hear people arguing outside of the bamboo house, he recognized the voices of course, that didn't mean he wanted to have to deal with them.

"-Oh please! As if that horrible man could do anything but manipulate you-"

"-Shen Qingqiu, stop hiding behind you're whore and come out right now!-"

"G-Guys... may- maybe we s-s-should just --EEK! C-come back later!"

"-I understand, but I have to talk to Xiao-Jiu and-"

A-Yuan.

They are talking to A-Yuan. Shen Jiu is going to wip all ot his martial siblings, well other then maybe the rat. Shang Qinghua will probably die from a wipping, plus, he is at least not saying shit to A-Yuan, yet.

Stepping outside of his room Shen Jiu could see the main room in disarray, the front door was of course broken, again. Shen Jiu knew who to blame for that of course but that didn't make it any better. He could see the figures of some of his martial siblings from the doorway, along with A-Yuan blocking thier way inside. Clearly Shen Jiu's martial siblings haven't been here long, or else Liu-Shidi would have just pushed A-Yuan out the way.

Mind that if he did do that, he would be lacking certian genitals as punishment, thanks to Shen Jiu-

"Oh look who finally decided to show thier face! Got tired of hiding behind your whore?" Shen Jiu was never a bit fan of the Zui Xian Peak Lord, he is becoming less of a fan by the second.

"A-Jiu! Sorry for letting them wake you up. Some of your Martial Siblings really are as much of brutes as you described them as..."

A-Yuan, who Shen Jiu could now see had Xiu Ya at his side leaning against the shattered door frame, gave him an apologetic smile. Turning it face him rather then the other idiotic Peak Lords...

A-Yuan had a red mark on his cheek. Someone had hurt him, it was clearly a slap mark, so who? Who the fuck hurt him.

"Xiao-Jiu, why-?"

"Someone, tell me why my guest is injured."

If murderous intent could be seen, the whole of Cang Qiong Mountian would have been covered in deep red smoke. Shen Jiu's voice was too calm, too quiet. There was no doubt all of the Peak Lords heard it, but none of them answered. Cowards.

Before Shen Jiu could repeat the question, Shen Yuan spoke up instead, he only said two words though. Just two.

"Shen Jiu."

He didn't need to say anything else, Shen Jiu allowed himself to step back and let A-Yuan talk. He simply watched as A-Yuan took Xiu Ya out of it's sheath besides him. His own sword which recognized Shen Yuan with ease and allowed itself to be wielded by him. After all, his sword was based off his soul, why would his soul refuse to submit to Shen Yuan's every will?

Of course, Shen Jiu's martial siblings gapped at seeing Xiu Ya calm in A-Yuan's hand. For someone else to hold a cultivators sword showed that the owner of the sword completely trusted the other person. The fact that a former courtesan was able to hold Xiu Ya so calmly... And A-Yuan trusted Xiu Ya not to hurt him.

Oh, someone actually trusted Shen Jiu, that hurt.

...

Shen Jiu watched his martial siblings shocked looks at seeing Xiu Ya so calmly in someone other then it's master's hands. He watched as Shang Qinghua muttered something about plot lines being messed up. (Not noticing how A-Yuan had tensed at those words.) He watched as Liu Qingge glared with both shock and anger in-between Xiu Ya, Shen Yuan, and Shen Jiu himself. He watched as he saw guilt and betrayal in Qi-ge- Yue Qingyuan's eyes.

Shen Jiu hated to say he loved the feeling.

He loved how his martial siblings seemed to shocked that someone had trusted him, and he trusted them in return. Oh, how good it felt to see his martial siblings realize that they weren't his priorities in life, as they claimed he should have.

"You-" Liu Qingge attempted to speak up, but,

"As you can all see, this lowly one means no harm to the Qing Jing Peak Lord, as I am sure that is what you were all truly worried about." A-Yuan said with a sarcastic smile, cutting off Liu Qingge who turned red. Whether it was in anger or embarrassments, who knows? Oh and who cares.

"I heard Peak Lord Qi say to my friend, Peak Lord Shen, about how his purchase of this one's contract would ruining the reputation of Cang Qiong. But, of course, Cang Qiong is rather infamous throughout the major Sects for taking in slaves, courtesans, and beggers. A couple Hua Huan officals who have visited the brothel I work-"

A small cough came from besides A-Yuan from Shen Jiu.

"Apologies A-Jiu, the brothel I 'had' worked at had a few choice words about such actions. Better A-Jiu?" The teasing light too A-Yuan's tone was not ignored as Shen Jiu lighty hit his head with his fan. Much to the shock of his Martial Siblings who he could tell were staring with greater shock then before.

...

(TO BE UPDATED SOON CAUSE, also, why the heck can't I write fluff to save my life. I can't tell how this is going so like, anyone please give like tips or something cause what the heck is even going on anymore?)

...

"SHEN-SHIXIONG BOUGHT A MALE COURTESAN!?! AND HE'S NOT AN ASSHOLE ANYMORE????????? WTF!?!"

-Shang Qinghua later on wondering where his plot went and why the scum villian is now happy with a man in his house.

[peepshow321]

TaskRaccoon Premium: Chapter 9

Big Himbo on Campus

First chapter

Previous chapter

Jace blinked as the white light cleared. Breathing deeply, he saw that he was... in the same room. The same messy, frat room. He looked down and caught a familiar view - the same hairy pec shelf, the same thick hands, the same noticeable bulge in his singlet. He breathed a sigh of relief. He had no idea what the "penalty" was going to be, but he had kept his hunky bod, and he was still the wrestling jock he had grown accustomed to. And now he didn't have to worry about that stupid tutoring thing. He checked himself quickly in the mirror and grinned as he caught his reflection - he was still the same handsome, built, hairy jock. Still ready to head to practice and put his body to work.

Jace turned as he grabbed the last of his gear and saw a flash of yellow out of the corner of his eye. He turned back to the mirror and saw... the yellow was on him. On his head. He blinked as he did a double-take. His hair - still thick and curled and for the most part dark - now had blonde streaks in it. He grabbed at the locks of blonde hair and, sure enough, they were real. That was an... odd change.

Looking closer at the mirror, Jace saw that although he was still the same stocky jock there were... other changes. His beard was a bit more trimmed, a bit neater. His skin was a tad less blemished. The chest hair popping out of his singlet was still prominent, but a bit more tamed. For the most part, he looked exactly the same. Just now he had the air of someone who looked after their appearance, not some lackadaisical frat boy. Jace stepped back to take in his full body and thought that it all looked the same. He was still clad in the college singlet which, maybe it was just Jace's imagination, seemed to be cut in a slightly different shape? A bit more of a scoop showing off more of his chest, riding a bit higher up his hairy thighs, and maybe - just maybe - a bit tighter in his crotch?

Jace peeled himself away from his mirror. So the app had made a few, minor changes to his appearance to penalise him for cancelling that tutoring task - for the most part he was the same right? And that meant, he was still late for training. Coach was gonna kick his ass, Jace thought as he grabbed his bag and ran out the door, and down the stairs.

Jace jumped down to the landing, bumping right into Marcus. "Whoa, easy there. Hey bro, you're in a rush", Marcus chuckled Jace was glad to see Marcus, a reminder that most things hadn't changed. But maybe Marcus could explain the weird hair...

"Hey bro. Do I look... any different to you? Like, my hair's got these blonde bits in them." Marcus looked confused. "Erm, dude, you got those blonde highlights last month or something. You said the ladies loved them." Marcus paused as he eyed up Jace's whole body. "You look the same as ever Ace. I like the wrestler look man, it fits you well."

Jace was confused. "Wrestler look? Bro, I'm off to practice like you said." Jace made his way to the door, but Marcus replied "practice? As in wrestling practice? Ace, you aren't on the team any more. Not since you dropped out."

Jace turned and saw that Marcus was being serious. The app, it hadn't just made some changes to his appearance, he wasn't even a student any more? Had anything else changed?

Marcus continued "Ace, are you going out dressed like that? You aren't technically allowed to live on campus with us anymore, you need to be keeping a low profile. I know that doesn't exactly fit with..."

Jace interrupted him. "You keep calling me Ace..." Marcus stared at him, "eh, yeh man. That's what you asked us to call you when you dropped out. Are you okay man?" Jace nodded absent-mindedly. Another change. What was going on? "Anyway, I'm guessing you've got another appointment, hence the singlet? Just cover up and be safe, yeh?"

Marcus left Jace by himself. Appointment? What was Marcus on about? Jace needed some air, he needed to think though the changes that were happening.

Taking Marcus' advice, he grabbed a hoodie from the rack and some sweatpants that were hanging over the back of the sofa - they clearly weren't his, as they barely fit over his chunky thighs and ass, and he had to pull them up his legs so they didn't drape along the bottom. He looked quickly in the mirror, was relieved when he didn't see any more changes, and then made his way outside.

Jace breathed deeply in the fresh air, and pulled out his phone - what would the app show now? All it showed was directions to somewhere across campus, with no indication of what or who was at the other end. Jace figured that he needed answers, some clue as to what had triggered the few changes. Something that had for some reason changed up his hair and stubble, something that had seemingly changed his name, something that meant he was a college dropout...

Jace followed the directions, and quickly became aware of the looks and gazes from passing students. Jace had long become used to some staring and winking - he was a stud after all - but it seemed to him that this went further somehow. It got the sense that people were speaking about him in hushed whispers, or pointing him out to friends. This wasn't just students admiring the Big Man on Campus, this was something different.

Jace pulled up his phone to distract himself from the looks and saw that he had been bombarded with notifications. Tentatively hiding the TaskRaccoon app - making sure not to cancel the current task - he saw his phone was riddled with texts, WhatsApp messages, voicemails, Instagram notifications, the lot. He had never been the most social guy as Josh, so it was almost overwhelming to be on the receiving end of so much attention.

He pulled up his profile on Instagram on stopped in his tracks. The profile - using the moniker AceCosta - was just a series of pics of him. And not what Jace would consider normal pics, but each pic was a clearly thought-out thirst trap. He was shirtless in most of the pics, or otherwise wearing tight clothing that revealed his chest and hairy pecs. There were a lot of shots of him in tight shorts, speedos and even - Jace gluped - just in his jock strap. He scrolled through as he saw his hair move from the blonde highlights, to the thick hair he had gotten used to, to a buzzcut look. He looked stunning in each of them, showing off his muscles, his hair, his face, but where were the photos of his friends, of trips, of normal college days and nights. Was he some kind of giant narcissist now? Even his Instagram bio was just his phone number and a short message: Call me.

Jace was so caught up looking through his pics on the app - was he naked in some of these, just his hands covering his dick? - when he realised he had arrived at his destination. It looked to be a fairly standard block of student accommodation. Unsure why he was here, he followed the app's directions up a few flights of stairs and along the corridor before finding himself outside an apartment door. Where was the app taking him now? And why?

He tentatively knocked and heard a voice on the other side shout "coming!" Was the voice familiar? Before Jace could work out if he knew the voice, the door opened and...

"Simon?" Jace was surprised to see the guy who had tutored him earlier that day on the other side of the door. The same fair-haired, preppy guy who had tried - and failed - to teach Jace some basic Ancient Greek. Why had the app brought him here? "Am I here for another tutorial?", Jace asked.

Simon laughed, as he ushered Jace inside. "No, no more tutoring for you any more I don't think. I like the new hair, and I see you've trimmed your beard a bit. I'm flattered." It took Jace a few moments to realise. "Wait, Simon, you can see that I'm different?"

Simon sat down, grabbing himself a beer. "Well, yeh, I can. The changes are for my benefit after all. I always did like blondes." Jace stared at him, and grabbed a lock of his blonde hair. "So this was you? How? And why change my name to Ace and make me drop out of school bro?" Simon looked slightly taken aback by this, but kept his composure. "I didn't make those specific changes, I guess they must be ripple effects. You're calling yourself 'Ace' though? Seems a bit try hard to me." Jace was confused, was Simon behind this?

Simon laughed as he saw Jace's perplexed face. "God, you really are that stupid jock stereotype, arent you? I wonder if that's who you've always been, or if the app turned you into that."

Jace stayed silent, and Simon continued. "After our tutor session, I didn't think anything of it when I got a notification from that task app saying you'd cancelled. I figured you had come to your senses that you were too dense to learn any Ancient Greek. But the app gave me a freebie. Because you had cancelled mid-task, I got one you give you free task. Any task of my choosing. I plugged in something random, something I thought I wanted, I didn't think it could force you to do anything. But hey, here you are Ace, new look and everything."

Jace was beginning to get a bit hot under his hoodie and sweatpants. What had Simon made him do? Could he back out of it?

Simon must of noticed his discomfort. "Ace, relax man. You must be hot in those clothes. Take them off." Simon's last sentence hit Jace not as a suggestion, but a command. A command Jace felt weirdly obliged to follow, starting by taking off his hoodie. He had barely started when Simon commanded. "Take them off, but slowly." Jace felt himself slow down, taking his time as he unfurled the hoodie off his body, revealing his thick chest and arms barely concealed by his skin tight singlet.

The sweatpants followed slowly, and Simon grinned as Jace's outfit of choice revealed itself. "A singlet? Very nice. Playing into that dumb jock stereotype I see. Even if you aren't a student anymore." Jace's eyes bugged as he saw that Simon wasn't just watching passively, but was eyeing him up and... rubbing his crotch. It became apparent to Jace that Simon had a full boner on the go. "Yeh, you're a thick as fuck jock, aren't you? Couldn't even keep up with sports science. Had to get a side hustle", Simon continued.

Simon was rubbing himself more vigorously now and Jace, to his surprise, found that he was also getting turned on by this. Jace's slow brain caught up. "Simon, dude, what task did you set me to do." Simon grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Look man, I was horny as fuck when I got the notification and I didn't think anything would happen, so I set up a task for you to suck my cock. And looking at that lump in your singlet, I think you want to." Jace shook his head, but he knew, deep down, that the main thing on his right now was whatever was in Simon's trousers. He couldn't keep his eyes off it.

Simon ordered him again: "strip, slowly" and Jace mindlessly complied, sensually removing the top straps of his singlet, and easing it off his body. He was stood in front of Simon in nothing but a tight jock strap, he dick visibly throbbing.

Jace felt both trapped, and exactly where he needed to be. Exactly where he wanted to be. Simon's hungry admiration of his body, it felt amazing. He craved it. Needed it. Jace reflected that the other changes - dropping out of school, changing his name, having an Instagram account exclusively of thirst traps - were all the fallout from Simon's seemingly casual request for Jace to suck his dick. Once again, TaskRaccoon had gone further. It had turned him into the campus himbo whore.

"God", Simon moaned. "I love how horny you're getting. And I love the bleach blonde haircut." A further wave of lust swam over Jace and he reached down to feel his now fully erect cock. He moaned as he touched the sensitive tip, but stopped as he caught a glimmer of reflection in a small mirror behind Simon. His hair had gone beyond just blonde highlights, but was fully blonde now. He had the same loose curls, but they now dramatically offset his dark bushy eyebrows and stubble. Jace began to panic - Simon was still in control.

Simon eyed up Jace with sheer lust and power as he spotted his new hair. "Fuck ye, that hair looks great. I think it'd look better though if you lost the beard." Jace watched in the mirror as his beard shimmered off his face, revealing with strong jaw. His clean shaved face with the blonde haircut was giving him full himbo vibes.

Simon was rubbing himself though his trousers even more vigorously now, and Jace could tell he was beginning to get caught up in the power. Jace knew he should stop, should leave, should intervene, but he felt oddly powerless to do anything, stifled by horniness. He felt fully under the thrall of Simon's fantasy.

"You know," Simon moaned, "you've got such a great bod. I couldn't help but admire it during our session. There's room for improvement though." Jace gulped, but Simon barreled on. "That rug on your chest and down your back, it's gotta go. You can keep the hairy ass though, although I'd love for it to be even more of a fat juicy jock butt." Jace was immediately overtaken by dual sensations - an itch across his chest, torso and back, and a ballooning sensation in his rear. The overriding feeling Jace was experiencing, however, was an endless lust and his throbbing dick felt harder than ever. The bodily sensations soon ended and Jace gawked as his new reflection. His top half was now completely smooth, with no hint of body hair. He couldn't help but flex - his smooth, olive skin made his muscles pop and he had full view of his meaty pecs. He caught a glimpse of his new juicy, bouncy ass cheeks. Any movement he made, they jiggled uncontrollably. What was Simon turning him into?

Simon stood up and downed his beer. "That's much better. Although I hope the lack of body hair doesn't mean you won't be a sweaty boy, I loved your smell when we last met." Jace immediately heated up and as he glanced down he saw his new smooth chest covered in a wet layer of sweat, a musky smell now permeating the dorm room.

Simon took another step closer. "And I love your high cheekbones and thick, dick sucking lips." A numbing sensation flooded Jace's face and he felt his lips inflate. When would Simon stop changing him?

Simon started to unzip his jeans. "But most of all, I love how desperate you are to suck this cock and how sensitive your ass is. You're already dripping cum." Jace closed his eyes and he felt overcome with lust. He needed release, he needed to do something to satiate this endless craving. He felt Simon's hard firmly grab his ass and he moaned, his whole body reverberating. Jace could barely think straight, could barely recall that this wasn't right, that he wasn't some horned up himbo. "Pleaase" he moaned. "Let me suck your cock. Please."

Simon obliged, swiftly pulling his jeans and underwear down and letting his hard cock bounce out. Jace almost immediately feel to his knees and - waiting for a cue from Simon - sat hungrily staring at his prize. "Be my guest" Simon said, triumphantly and Jace immediately went to work.

Josh had never sucked a dick before, he would struggle to count the number of other dicks he had seen. Ace, however, was a world champion cock sucker and Simon felt weak at the knees. He was overcome with lust and almost came immediately, but Ace knew how to give him the best, long-lasting blow. Simon grabbed onto Jace's head and moaned "oh yeh, I love feeling up your buzzcut". Jace was too distracted on the task at hand to feel the sensation across his scalp. Ace started to pull down his jock strap, letting his beast of a dick loose, and was about to start rubbing one out when Simon interjected "No, no, you don't need to do that. You're so horny you're gonna cum when I say, without having even touched yourself." Ace immediately complied, a lightning bolt of lust through his body.

He was completely fucking turned on, and completely fucking Simon's. "Yeh, that's right, you himbo slut. You're always gagging for this dick, in your mouth, in your ass." Ace knew it was true, he felt empty without a dick inside of him. "You want me to fuck you. You love fucking guys and girls all over campus, and getting fucked even more. Fucked by other jocks, by nerds, preps, girls with strap-ons, even teachers. You dropped out cause you're too fucking stupid and cause you love it." The more Simon taunted him, the hornier he became. Simon was right - he was never smart enough for college, even on a scholarship. He was built for one thing only - getting himself and other people off.

Ace began to suck Simon's dick with more vigor. The horny cycle continued until Simon shouted out "ooh fuck, I'm gonna cum". Ace was ready and as Simon came, Ace hungrily swallowed the full load and instantly came at the same time. In that moment, Ace felt complete ecstasy and clarity. His role, his purpose, suddenly seemed so clear.

Ace pushed himself to his feet, and gawked at his changed reflection once again. He was a study in contrasts. The smooth body, buzzed blonde hair, thick pink lips and fat bubble butt all stood against his thick frame, dark eyebrows, hairy ass, and large dick buried within wirey dark pubes. He was both soft and firm, strong but boyish, dominant and submissive. He was the perfect plaything for someone who to get fucked or to fuck. With his vacant eyes and open mouth, the prevailing impression was one of stupidity. He was well and truly a campus himbo now.

He couldn't help but feel himself up, his ass and dick in particular, and wasn't surprised when he started getting hard again. He had only cum just a minute ago and he was ready for another round? Simon must have noticed. "Easy there tiger, I'm not as quick back into action as you are." He playfully slapped Ace on the butt, causing Ace to whiver. "You head along now, consider the task over. And if you fancy another round, swing by tomorrow." Ace nodded enthusiastically, and pulled Simon in for a wet kiss.

Ace felt great - he was hot, admired and now would be dynamite in the sack. He started to get dressed, loving the feeling of the tight jock on his ass and how the singlet did nothing to hide his semi-hard cock.

He went to grab his hoodie when Simon stopped him. "How about you go out dressed like in your sweaty singlet, show everyone the himbo you are? And don't bother showering either - I want you to reek of sweat and sex. Got it?" Ace, despite no longer being under Simon's whim under the app, still felt an urge to comply. That need, to take orders, follow suggestions, be submissive, was built into him now. It was part of the reason he was so popular throughout campus - he was always willing, always game to help others indulge whatever fantasies they wanted. He just loved someone else taking charge.

It was with that mindset that Ace descended the stairs and emerged back on the campus quad. The sun was beginning to set, and while he felt a bit chilly wearing nothing but his singlet, he didn't care - he knew he looked good and was looking forward to the admiring stares. He pulled out his phone and grinned at the new followers, new messages. He had to get a photo in his singlet and show off his new clean-cut look - there would be some people out there willing to pay extra to live their dumb wrestler jock fantasy.

Ace's fantasy was however quickly cut short. Walking across campus, thinking about his next hook up, he managed to miss the fact he was being tailed by campus security. It was too late when he heard them approach. "Ace Costa? You are trespassing on school property with the intention of soliciting... eh, services. You need to come with us."

Ace began to back away slowly. This wasn't right, this wasn't supposed to happen to him. Without warning, one of the security guards reached to grab him. The instincts of a former college wrestler kicked in, as Ace grabbed the security guard's arm and threw him down to the ground. After a moment of silence, everyone shocked by what had happened, Ace bolted.

Ace sprinted as fast as his legs would take him, cursing the fact he still had a half erection, his large package flopping around in his singlet. What the fuck was going on? What was going to happen if he got caught? He tried to remind himself of his reality, who he really was. He wasn't some stupid, college slut. He wasn't a thick-built wrestler, he didn't suck cock, and he shouldn't be running away from campus security! He was Josh, a mild-mannered, quiet, clever graduate. This was all wrong, so wrong. He grabbed his phone, aware that there was only one way out of this - he needed a new task, any task that would take him out of this reality. He opened up the app and was about to select any random task when...

Ace was tackled hard in the side by another guard and both of them went hurtling to the floor, Ace hitting his head against it. Ace began to drift out of consciousness just as he saw his phone fly into the air and come down to the ground with a heavy thud.

*****

Josh was woken by a steady beeping noise. His entire body ached and his head was throbbing. He felt sluggish as his eyes slowly adjusted to his surroundings.

Blinking slowly, he realised he was in a hospital or a clinic of some sort. He vaguely remembered being tackled, hitting his head. How had he ended up here? And was he Josh again?

Before he could think any further, he heard a familiar voice. "Hey you. Welcome back to the land of the living."

Next chapter

[chara-cat5]

lads college au

when you get jealous

this is a college au in a normal modern universe (ours). theres no evols. gender neural mc/reader

before y'all are dating or even really romantically interested. just buds. for now 👀

masterlist link

caleb-

you hummed softly as you padded out the bathroom, freshly washed hands pushing back your hair as you looked for caleb's tall form. you were here to watch a movie, just a little friendly hang out of course. when you spotted the back of his head, you smiled, already walking closer when you spotted a girl talking to him. your smile slightly fell, steps a little slower as she giggled at something, cheeks flushed bright.

was she... was she flirting with him?

it shouldn't surprise you really. caleb was funny and good looking and, from what you could tell, quite popular. but a sinking feeling in your stomach didn't seem to listen to reason. before you knew what you were doing, you rushed up behind caleb, jumping on his shoulders like you did when you two were little. he stumbled minutely, blinking in surprise as his hands instinctually found the back of your thighs. he let out a confused laugh, tilting his face to look back at you.

"hey, pipsqueak. whats up?"

you hummed, smiling back at him, shifting your arms to have a better hold.

"well, i'd say i'm up right now. that and our movie?"

while the two of you spoke, miss flirty's face had paled, her eyes going between the two of you. she took a step back, pulling a smile to her lips that didn't reach her eyes.

"oh, well i'll get going then. you two enjoy your movie."

she quickly made her exit, leaving you two behind. caleb huffed, shifting your weight before walking toward the theater. you kicked your legs, yelping at the movement.

"caleb! i can walk you know!"

"i know, pips. but since you wanted to hop on my back, i think you can stay up there."

he smirked, pinching at your leg.

"think of it as punishment for being all jelly earlier."

"i was not being jealous! i didn't even know you were talking to someone!"

you hit his shoulder, the tips of your ears burning red. he only laughed, shaking his head.

"sure, pips. whatever you say."

while you argued in your defense, you knew you were lying. but it really wasn't because you were jealous... right?

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zayne-

you were running a little late to your study session with zayne. after you finished your project with him (aced it of course) you agreed to keep meeting to study in the library, your meet ups already a part of your schedule. but you were running late because someone had spilled coffee on you. you grumbled softly as you fidgeted with your shirt front, still stained with the brown liquid but you couldn't be bothered to go all the way back to your dorm for a new one. when you stepped into the library and you eyes landed on your table, you felt your eyebrows pinch together. someone was in your seat. not only that, but they were smiling in a shy way you knew meant they were crushing. something about it set you off. you were already annoyed and then this? someone trying to take your spot next to zayne? nah. nah buddy. your steps were measured as you walked over stopping in front of the table. the stranger looked over, seeming startled while zayne's lips tugged into a small smile.

"ah, there you are. i was worried you wouldn't make it."

you nodded, putting your stuff down.

"yeah, sorry. someone spilled coffee on me. are we still studying today?"

you glanced to the stranger, a dark look in your eyes as you made eye contact with them. they shifted awkwardly, looking between you and zayne. they seemed to catch the look in your eye, standing up.

"oh- i'll get going then if you two are- um... busy. sorry, nice chatting with you!"

as they left you sat in their seat with a huff, pulling out your laptop. zayne looked at you, tilting his head before he pulled off his sweater, handing it to you. (he's wearing a button up under!)

"if you wanted to cancel, i wouldn't have minded."

your expression soured as you took the sweater maybe a little too aggressively.

"if you wanted to chat with that person longer, i wouldn't have minded either."

he watched you put on his sweater, his expression unreadable. once you had wiggled out of your stained shirt from under his sweater, you sighed, looking over to him again.

"lets just get studying. i have a test in english coming up."

"as you wish."

he hummed softly, brushing off the exchange. it's only after you get home and see yourself in his sweater do you realize...

"gods- i was acting like a jealous lover!"

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sylus-

you were sitting together on bench on campus, drinking soda together after your last class. you'd head home after a moment, but he still had a class before he could go. as you sipped your drink, a shy looking girl came over, her hands fidgeting with her skirt. she stepped right up to sylus, not even sparing you a glance.

"u-um, hello. you don't know me, but i actually h-have a really big crush on you and i was wondering if you would maybe like to go out with me?"

your eyebrows pinched together at her words. what the hell? why were you watching a confession right now? before you realized what you were doing, you threw your arm over his shoulder, still holding that 'what the hell' expression. the girl finally looked at you, her face paling.

"oh my god- i'm sorry! i assumed- i thought- oh- i'll j-just go then! bye!"

without either you or sylus speaking a word, she rushed away, letting that contracting feeling in your chest fade. you huffed as you slipped your arm from his shoulder, sitting back like nothing happened. sylus eyed you, a smirk on his lips.

"my my. i guess my kitten is rather territorial, huh?"

you sputtered, looking over at him with freshly heated cheeks.

"wha- no! no i just-... the twins told me you found those confessions..."

it was true, but that is not what you were thinking about when you had acted. in fact, you hadn't thought at all...

"hmmmm, if you say so sweetie. but i can't say i'm convinced."

he flicked your forehead before standing up.

"walk the twins home for me? you know they'll only get into mischief otherwise."

you nodded, watching him leave. with his exit, you're left with your thoughts on the way to the twin's high school. were you being possessive? there's no way right? you were just helping him out...

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xavier-

something you didn't know about xavier was that several students considered him a princely type. you could see why, his beauty often on display as he sleeps in class. you were meeting him at the front of the school building, another hot pot day, spotting him with a someone with that freshman look talking to him. as you walked closer, you could tell he was expressing some type of admiration... his cheeks were flushed, nope, this was defiantly a confession. your face soured, steps a little more stiff. you stopped at xaiver's elbow, looking at the freshman with maybe a bit too much contempt, his shoulders going stiff.

"a-anyway, i-i just wanted to tell you that s-so i'll go now."

he rushed away, leaving xavier to tilt his head, clearly confused. you cleared your throat, meeting his blue eyes.

"oh, hi."

"hi xavier. you busy?"

he shook his head, glancing where the freshman ran off.

"no... i'm not really sure what that was about. i was pretty lost during that conversation. lets go eat."

you nodded, grabbing his hand as you tugged him along. the contact, while unusual, eased that dark feeling you had gotten. a dark feeling that you did not want to acknowledge as jealousy.

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rafayel-

it wasn't a secret that rafayel had a lot of fan girls. your art class was full of girls just trying to get closer to him. but he had always ignored them, brushing off their gushing with a disinterested look. but when you spotted him talking to a girl, a smile on his lips, you felt like you had been dunked in cold water. it was disorienting, the way you saw him even ruffle her hair. as you walked closer, your eyebrows furrowed as you looked between them, rafayel spotted you, his expression brightening even more.

"cutie! this is great, i have someone important for you to meet!"

while his smile made you want to return it, his words didn't help the ugly feeling settling in your gut.

"someone important, huh?"

it was a little more passive aggressive then you intended, but rafayel didn't seem bothered, just gesturing to the girl. she was pretty with dark, curly hair and cherry colored lips. she smiled at you, holding out her hand to shake yours.

"you must be this 'friend' rafayel is always talking about."

"wha- i do not always talk about them!"

you had bit the inside of your cheek as you shook her hand, not a fan of the way this stranger said 'friend'. an apparently 'important' stanger. rafayel's red tipped ears gave him away as he rolled his eyes.

"this is thalia. she's my younger sister."

oh.

you felt silly at that word, a beat passing as you blinked at the two of them. thalia snorted before laughing fully, her blue-pink eyes crinkling.

"oh- they thought i was your girlfriend!"

"what!?"

both you and rafayel shouted at the same time, heat hitting both your faces.

"i-i did not! i was just- i was surprised! not- not-"

"jealous?"

she snickered, glancing at her brother before stepping closer, whispering to you.

"if it makes you feel better, he got jealous of a cat the other day..."

"thalia! shush! shush shush!"

rafayel pulled her away, shooing her toward the art room.

"you said you wanted to look at my art so go!"

she giggled as she walked away, waving at you. rafayel turned his gaze to you, a shaky smirk on his lips.

"so... you were jealous?"

"so you were jealous over a cat?"

he whined, tossing his arm around your arm, shaking it.

"don't tease me! i-... i won't ask if you won't. deal?"

"deal."

you hummed, rolling your eyes as he led the way after his sister.

"course, this does give me the perfect opportunity to learn all your embarrassing childhood stories..."

"jokes on you, i'm thalia's hero."

your conversation fell back into casual banter, forgetting about the feelings from before. the feelings that were definitely not jealousy...

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sorry xaiver got cut compared to the others :/ i was pretty much out of ideas and i wanted to post before work today. next post might be a while. i want longer fics for the getting together part and i think that's what's next on the bracket. anyway, thank you for reading!

-chara <3

[rafeandonlyrafe]

safe

words: 1.1k

warnings: home break in (not really described though), drug dealer!rafe and reader, pregnant!reader, husband!rafe

“r-rafe.” your voice is timid and shaky, so unlike what rafe is normally used to hearing. he instantly knows something is off, wrong.

“baby, what is it?” rafe asks into the phone, wishing he could see your face right now, could read the emotion in your expression.

“something uh-something happened. the police are here.”

“shit, are you alright?” rafe is suddenly moving away from the party, needing the noise of music from the live band and people talking and laughing to stop drowning out your words. “is the baby alright? did barry get caught?”

“yeah, we are both fine.” you press your hand against your stomach, the spot your baby always kicks, glad when you feel her stomp against your skin, reminding you she's okay, even if you don't currently feel like you are. “its not the business. there were some um… robbers.”

“what?” rafe shouts, knowing he probably just made you jump over the phone, but he can't help the loud reaction, needing more information, and needing it now.

“yeah they came into the house. i hid in the closet, but they found me. they didn't do anything, just shoved me a bit. they did take a lot of the jewelry you got me, i don't know what else, you'll have to talk to the police and give them a full invento-”

“shit, y/n!” rafe interrupts you. “i don't care about our stuff! i only care about you and the baby. im coming home right now.”

“okay.” you whisper over the phone. “im sitting on the front porch.”

“and police are watching you?” rafe asks, hurrying to his car, not bothering to explain to anyone his sudden leaving as he tears out of the parking lot.

“yeah, they're here. don't worry, im safe. i don't think they even had weapons, at least none that i saw.” rafe can hear you take a shuddering breath, his heart breaking that he wasn't there with you, foot pressing down even harder on the pedal to get him there faster. “the police think they broke in and expected no one to be home because of midsummers.”

you look down, rubbing your hand over your belly. “guess they didn't expect me to be home because none of my heels fit anymore and even the maternity dresses make me look like a whale.” you mean it as a joke, but it has tears flowing down your eyes, wishing you would have just sucked up your insecurities and gone with rafe. you still would have got robbed, but without the trauma of being there during the break in.

“im two minutes, baby. two minutes and you'll be safe in my arms.” rafe tries to keep his voice calm for you, but it's a struggle.

“i… i just wanna be safe.” you mutter the last words of the call, voice breaking as you begin to sob. rafe hears an officer try to calm you, but he knows it won't work, knows the only thing you need is him.

he parks haphazardly behind the police cars, fully blocking the street without a care in the world, not even taking the car keys out as he runs across the yard, sprinting until he reaches you.

“im here.” his arms are finally around your shoulders. “im here.”

you continue to sob, only lessened by pressing your face into rafes chest as he cradles you, even managing to pull you onto his lap despite your protruding baby bump.

“ive got you, princess.” rafe kisses the top of your head, continuing his reassuring words, the police officers giving you some space, but not retreating any farther than the steps leading onto the porch.

“oh my god, i was so scared.” you whine out, managing to blink back your tears enough to look at rafe.

“im so sorry baby.” rafe sighs. “i should have been here.”

“no.” you shake your head. “you had to go to midsummers. it's okay.”

“as soon as you said you weren't coming, i should have canceled it. should have never left my pregnant wife at home alone. im the worst fucking husband.” rafe knows his words aren't comforting, but he needs to make sure you know that he is the one to blame for what happened.

“what?” you press your fingers against rafes cheeks. “you couldn't have known, baby.”

“i still should have been here.” rafe leans in, taking your mouth in a strong kiss. “i love you, baby.”

“oh my god, you're not gonna leave my side for the next year, are you?” you let out a tiny laugh, the noise relieving rafe, loosening some of the tension in his chest.

“definitely not, my love.” rafe pulls you closer.

“thank you for coming so quickly.” you whisper, letting your head rest against rafes chest. “i really am okay. just freaked out.”

“don't worry, baby.” rafes voice suddenly changes tone. “the second they try to sell any of your jewelry, ill find them. they won't make it far at all. ill make sure they can never hurt you or anyone else ever again.”

you know you should tell rafe to let the police handle it, to not get personally involved in clearly dangerous men, but any man who lays their hands on a pregnant woman doesn't deserve to breathe, let alone only be punished to a few months in jail like what would no doubtabley happen if you went the legal way.

“im surprised you haven't called barry already.” you laugh softly, knowing he will be just as pissed as rafe. you came into their life and helped expand the business, turning them from lowly dealers to something bigger, better. still dealing, of course, but offering protection and other services as well.

“figure id let the police leave first.” rafe rubs your back, glad that you're slowly getting back to your jokey and sharp witted self. “before he insisted on being your personal armed guard until those guys are put in the ground.”

“yeah, once baby girl pops, im going to have to ask him to teach me to shoot. just in case anything like this happens again.” you feel bad that you relied so heavily on rafes protection, that you let yourself slack to the point where an emergency arose and you hid in the closet instead of grabbing a glock.

“hey, what about me?” rafe whines, knowing he'd never let another man teach you how to shoot, not even your joint business partner barry.

“fine.” you joke, sighing and sliding off rafes lap. “you better go talk to the police about what else might be missing. i wouldn't let them snoop around.”

you don't keep anything illicit in your house, but just in case you weren't about to give the law open access to your home.

“in a minute.” rafe keeps his arms around you, not willing to let you move too far from his hold. “need to just keep my wife in my arms for a few minutes longer.”

you look out onto the sky, the stars glimmering in the darkness of light, allowing yourself to take a full, deep breath, at peace held in your husband's arms.

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