#I also just really wanted to use a loop-de-loop as a framing device

[dual-cetacean]

This is the full Amy Rose render I made for the cover of my new fic, No place like home. Instead of just making what I needed for the background, I made a full render of the characters in case I needed to change composition or positions. It worked out well, but naturally, the renders took more time to complete. But the outcome is lovely, so I don't mind. (It also made me check if the poses I used were accurate or not.)

Amy was the first character render I made for the background, which is why she is on the rougher end. If there was one thing I would redo, I would give her a more energetic pose. But I've learned to be satisfied with my art, so eh. Her pose is inspired by the Parasol Lady class trainer from the Pokemon Gen 5 games.

Thought just posting the render might be boring, so I painted the background to relax today. I only spent 2 to 3 hours on it, but I'm satisfied. (I was thinking of cake while I was painting the close-up of the dirt ♪(´▽｀))

[invisibleicewands]

His beard bloomed and his hair sprang forth, like a riot of corkscrews, during lockdown. Now Michael Sheen sweeps on to the National Theatre’s Olivier stage in the manner of an Old Testament prophet descending from Mount Snowdon – or must we call it Yr Wyddfa?

Sheen is best known as a great mimic who played Chris Tarrant in last year’s TV series about the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire coughing scandal, Quiz, and Tony Blair in the 2006 film The Queen opposite Helen Mirren – plus David Frost in Peter Morgan’s play and film Frost/Nixon and Brian Clough in the The Damned United movie.

Here though he takes on the role of the narrator in Lyndsey Turner’s bittersweet revival of Dylan Thomas’s verse drama written for radio in 1954 – re-imagined here in a care home. [...]

Looking pallid and paunchy in his creased shirt and saggy trousers, Sheen takes the role of the story’s narrator, made famous by Richard Burton. Only here, Sheen relates the tale not to the audience but to his father, whose memories have been robbed by Alzheimer’s.Inebriated by the whisky he keeps hidden in his jacket, Sheen stumbles eagerly through the verse as if making it up as he goes along – painting pictures of people (and their dreams) in the Carmarthenshire port that lies ‘fast, and slow, asleep’. [...] The care home setting does feel cheerless at first, but it’s a clever way of focusing the rambling yarn. And furniture on casters – including a shop counter, steaming stove and kitchen table, set with multiple cloths to denote different homes – add a sense of magic and playfulness.Nor could you wish for a more loquacious, richer narrator than hirsute, woody-voiced Sheen, who looks like he’s been training outside an off-licence. I just wish it had been bookended with silence rather than someone else’s words. DailyMail

[...] On the circular stage of the reconfigured, socially distanced Olivier auditorium, Brown’s character patiently sets about starting up the day’s routine with the residents drifting in to sit and talk and stare into space. But the temperature climbs with the unexpected arrival of Mr. Jenkins’ son Owain (Michael Sheen), whose short-fuse exasperation turns swiftly to anger when his father cannot or will not communicate with him. Calmed by the staff, he and his father begin looking at an old family photograph album and Thomas’s original text takes over, now presented as a portrait of the village of Mr. Jenkins’ not-quite-forgotten past. [...] Whenever it is staged — it was last seen at the National 25 years ago — the chief problem is the lack of momentum. Characters’ (in)actions lack consequences, which makes it hard to engage with them except on a momentary basis. Owen and Turner’s new frame seeks to address that directly by making Sheen’s character not an inert, impartial observer but a man desperate to tell the story to and with his father in order to connect, to awaken his father’s distracted mind. Previously neutral descriptions are thus charged up, which intermittently animates proceedings. [...] The ultimate moment of connection between father and son is affecting but the production’s dangerous proximity to unearned sentimentality is also visible. And in the foregoing hour and three-quarter running time (with no interval), the sustained inertia grows wearing. There’s welcome tenderness aplenty but, when it comes to storytelling, there’s too much telling and, alas, too little story. Variety

                                                                                                                             Michael Sheen is terrific in Dylan Thomas’s linguistic tour de force, which remains undimmed by the years [...] The whole home thing is a nice enough idea that ambles on agreeably… but it’s a thrill when the play proper starts: it feels like the air suddenly fizzes and crackles when Sheen’s narrator introduces us to Llareggub on one ‘starless and Bible-black’ night. Ultimately, the care home business feels minor and diversionary, a framework to (kind of) explain why the poem is being performed. But it doesn’t really have a payoff or purpose beyond the performance of the poem itself. I'm not sure anyone really needs my opinion on I ‘Under Milk Wood’ as Thomas wrote it. But for what it’s worth I think it’s brilliant – time hasn’t dimmed it, his language remains bracingly wild, elemental and weird. And this is a very good, detailed performance of it – Sheen is impassioned and urgent, like he’s electrified by the surging flanguage; the cast of mostly older actors tend to get more playful roles, and seem to be having terrific fun. [...] You bought your tickets to see Michael Sheen doing ‘Under Milk Wood’ and you’ve got Michael Sheen doing ‘Under Milk Wood’ – nobody’s going to feel disappointed. Time Out

[...] Sheen – shaggy, bearded and full of humanity – leads as the narrator but this is really an ensemble show, animated with amusing turns by Siân Phillips, Cleo Sylvestre and Ifan Huw Dafydd among others. It comes with an inventive framing device (additional material is written by Siân Owen) in which Sheen plays the son of Richard Jenkins (Karl Johnson), who is losing his bearings when he is visited by Jenkins Junior in his nursing home. [...] While this is a charming production that bewitches, it begs the question of why a drama that is so consciously retreating into the past is revived now, and how it speaks to our pandemic landscape. Thomas draws a picture of a place steeped in stasis and saturated in nostalgia. Time has stood still here, as Thomas makes clear in the symbolism of the village clock’s frozen hands, and it arguably represents his yearning for a bygone world after the second world war. This production seems entirely conscious of its retreat into the past and it resembles a lost world that is both comforting and jarring after the horrors of the pandemic. The Guardian

To hear Michael Sheen deliver Under Milk Wood feels akin to witnessing Gielgud's Hamlet or Rylance's Rooster Byron. It is nothing short of theatrically seminal.As hoped, the poetry is magnificent. He orchestrates Dylan Thomas's posthumously performed masterpiece as a maestro conductor, all waving hands and syncopated rhythm. There are times when his words seem to literally hang in the air, leaving the socially distanced Olivier audience hypnotised. I could listen to him say "Now behind the eyes and secrets of the dreamers in the streets rocked to sleep by the sea…" on loop forever. [...] The concept doesn't always feel completely cohesive - it seems strange that everyone so willingly joins the performance when Sheen's character is so cold and skittish with them initially - but Lyndsey Turner's beautifully choreographed in-the-round production is convincing enough to override such niggles.The metanarrative also has the noticeable effect of causing Sheen to speak as if he is conjuring Dylan's words on the spot. This lends both an immediacy to the language and also a purpose to its rich imagery - after all, here is a man desperately trying to paint pictures in his father's addled imagination. Under Milk Wood is in some sense a victim of its own familiarity, and Turner's staging lends a much-needed freshness over reverence. [...] Whatsonstage

A charismatic Michael Sheen is part showman, part shaman in this staging of Dylan Thomas’s 1954 radio play, conjuring a Welsh town into lyrical, beguiling life with mostly older actors on a bare stage. Lyndsey Turner’s production marks a triumphant reopening for the National’s Olivier Theatre, where the audience now sits on all sides, a configuration that lends itself to simple production values and a deeper communion between actors and onlookers.It begins oddly, though, in the middle-distant past with Sheen as an angry, wild-bearded writer visiting his demented father (Karl Johnson, heartbreaking) in a care home. Thomas’s poetry is the only way to reach the old man, and his fellow residents are duly summoned to incarnate the townsfolk of the author’s fictional Llareggub (“bugger all” backwards). It’s an awkward framing device with a serious point: to stress the importance of community and memory, and salute the talents and rich lives of elder generations. But what a lovely, bittersweet spell this show casts. Sheen, like Richard Burton and Anthony Hopkins, grew up in Port Talbot, an hour from Laugharne where Thomas lived and partially wrote the play. He has the contours of the language and the landscape in his head, and an orator’s relish for Thomas’s evocative phrasing. We first see Llareggub asleep, “starless and bible black” and meet its inhabitants in their dreams. [...] Eveningstandard

[hopelikethemoon]

New Tricks (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: New Tricks Rating: PG-13 Length: 4000 Warnings: Discussions of sex, sex toys, etc. annnnd family fluff.  Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set in late October 1997. A few things to point out: pegging was not coined until 2001, so the use of it in this fic is a bit anachronistic, but alas. That whole portion of the upcoming plot will slowly come out over the next week or so. Also, the location she mentions living near is a famous shop in Philly. This is derived from my personal background for reader (here). Shoutout to @propertyofpoeandbucky​ for the idea for the second half of this fic.  Summary: Javier and Reader work towards trying something new. 

Taglist:  @grapemama  @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @just-add-butter @snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04​ @mrsparknuts​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @exrebelshocktrooper​ @awesomefandomsunited​ @ah-callie​ @swhiskeys​ @lady-tano​ @beskar-droids​ @space-floozy @cable-kenobi​ @longitud-de-onda​ @cool-ultra-nerd​ @himbopoes​ @findhimfives​ @pedrosdoll​ @seeking-a-great--perhaps​ @frietiemeloen​ @arrowswithwifi​ @random066​ (more tags in the replies)

“If any of my students catch me in here…” Javier told you lowly, pushing his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose, before he shoved his hands into his leather jacket. 

“Well you’re drawing attention to yourself.” You told him, giving him a pointed look as he shifted his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet, rocking back and forth as you perused the aisle. “Chill. It’s a sex shop, Javi. It’s not like we’re buying blow.” 

“I’d rather be doing that.” He retorted, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he met your gaze. “Do you really think this is what Nancy meant when she told us to be adventurous?” He questioned, glancing towards the shelves. 

You rolled your eyes, “She gave me the address.” 

“Shit.” He huffed, crossing his arms across his chest now. “How adventurous are we talking, baby?” Javier questioned, following behind you as you stopped in front of a display of vibrantly colored dildos. 

You pursed your lips as you tilted your head to look at him. “I don’t know. How adventurous do you want to be?” You questioned, turning then and resting your hand on his shoulders. “I want us both to be comfortable.” 

“I dunno,” Javier dragged his teeth over his bottom lip as he glanced at the display, brows furrowing. “Let’s stick to things that aren’t going to bruise my ego.” You followed his line of sight to a dildo that was significantly larger than he was. 

You tried not to laugh, but failed. “You’re more than enough for me, babe.” You promised him, leaning up on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. 

Javier huffed, tilting his head to look down at you. “I get the impression you know a lot about this shit.” He gestured vaguely around the shop. 

“A bit.” You shrugged a shoulder. “I can’t say I’ve tried a lot, but I’m aware of it.” You brushed your fingers over the hair that fell against his forehead, before tracing your fingertip over the worry line between his brows. “We don’t have to do anything, Javi. We came, we’ve seen, we can tell Nancy nothing struck our fancy.” 

“Can I help you guys find anything?” Asked the shop employee, who had already introduced himself to you as Rocky when first you came in. 

Javier clenched his teeth and shook his head, “We’re good. Still looking.” 

“Well, if you need any help I’m here.” He offered, looking between the two of you. “The first time in a shop like this can be a little overwhelming.” 

“I actually used to live near The Pleasure Chest,” You told him as you took Javier’s hand into yours, interlacing your fingers. You knew he was uncomfortable. 

“Lucky girl,” Rocky grinned at you. “I’ve ventured north twice to hit that spot. Worth it.” He looked towards Javier then. “Your first time?”

Javier made a vaguely disgruntled face as his other hand went to his hip. “Our therapist suggested the place.” 

“Trouble?” He questioned with a frown. 

“No, actually.” You were quick to interject. “But she suggested that we might want to try something new together…” 

Javier truly looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. “I mean, what are we supposed to try?” He questioned, shaking his head slowly. “We’ve got two kids. It’s not like we can install that⁠—” He pointed towards a sex swing that was set up at the far end of the aisle. 

Rocky laughed, “Sounds like quite the dilemma. There’s always costumes. Most people enjoy a little roleplay in the bedroom.” He suggested, but you shook your head. 

“We are terrible at that.” 

“Because you break character.” Javier pointed.

You shot him a look. “Oh, so you do like that, Professor?”

Javier glared at you. 

“I seem to remember someone didn’t enjoy pretending to be strangers.” You reminded him.

Rocky looked between the two of you, “Have you ever considered pegging?”

“Excuse me?” Javier questioned, his head jerking as he stared back at Rocky. 

You just gaped. Holy shit. 

“I’ll take that as a no.” Rocky laughed nervously. “Well, I absolutely understand that it’s not something every man is into, I personally think it’s worth a try. You might surprise yourself. A lot of men say they have their best orgasms from the experience. Not to mention, their partners enjoy being in control.”

“I don’t think so.” You offered with a shake of your head. Your face felt like it was on fire and suddenly your throat was very dry. It certainly put an interesting picture in your mind. But Javier would never. Though, he never had any argument against letting you take the lead in the bedroom. 

No. He would never. 

“Alright, well... I’ll leave the two of you to look around.” Rocky said, before excusing himself. 

Javier looked dumbfounded, hands shoved back into his pockets as he turned to stare at the wall of dildos again. 

“We can leave.” You told him, looping your arm around his as you leaned into his side. “I know you’re uncomfortable.”

He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, as he exhaled heavily. “This is all just outside of my frame of reference.” He admitted. “I think you and I were raised in very different locales.”

You nodded in agreement. “I can’t imagine Texas being very…” You gestured towards the dildos. “And I’ve been to Laredo.” It was a one horse town that had more churches than people. 

Javier cleared his throat, shuffling somewhat awkwardly as he nodded his head towards the display. “Is that what he was talking about?” He questioned, glancing sideways at you.

You chewed on the inside of your bottom lip as you nodded. “Yeah, that’s the uh… the harness.” You wrapped your arms around your waist nervously, looking between the device and Javier curiously. “Did that actually pique your interest?”

“No.” He answered a little too quickly, scratching at his jaw. “I don’t know.” 

Your brows shot upwards. “Really? Huh.” 

“Huh?”

You cocked your head to the side, “It’s just… You’re very in control.” You gestured to him, tightening your fist to symbolize just how very much in control he was when it came to life. “I can’t really picture you letting me fuc⁠—”

“I get it.” 

You stepped around him and picked up the box containing just the harness, flipping it over to look at the instructions on the back. Your cheeks were burning with a flush that you could feel spreading down your neck and across your chest. Even your ears felt like they were on fire. “Really?” You said again, turning to look at Javier. “I’m definitely not judging, I’m just surprised.” 

“I mean…” He rubbed at the back of his neck, “We couldn’t be accused of not being adventurous if we give this a try.” 

You snorted, “Because that’s definitely the only reason for me to peg you.” You sat the box back on the shelf, turning to face him. “I think it’s something you’re supposed to build up to.” You explained, “We can just get a toy to start.” 

“Smart.” Javier’s brows drew together as his teeth dug into his bottom lip. He looked back towards the display apprehensively. “I could hate it.” 

“You could.” You agreed, leaning towards him and resting your cheek against his arm. “Or you could really enjoy it.” 

He curled his arm around your waist, hooking his finger in your belt loop. “Yeah.” 

Your eyes flickered over the offerings on the shelf, before you spotted a slim neon blue toy with a flared base. It wasn’t particularly large and the box advertised that it was For Beginners. “What about…” You pointed at it and you felt him stiffen.

Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “We take this to the grave.” 

“Oh, babe… I wouldn’t dare.” You snaked your arms around him. “I don’t even know if I want to tell Nancy.” 

He pursed his lips and shook his head. “And we never speak of it again if I hate it.” 

“Agreed.” 

Javier pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Fuck.” He chuckled, rubbing his hand over the small of your back. 

You pulled away from him as you leaned down to pick up the box, “Do you want to wait outside while I buy it?”

“Yeah.” He scraped his nails against his jaw as he shifted on his feet.

Apparently there were still things left to be learned about Javier. You had assumed that he’d rather die than be into anything of the more taboo nature in the shop, but apparently you were wrong. You couldn’t deny the picture you had in your mind’s eye was a very appealing one. 

“You’re sure about this?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I think it’s worth an attempt.” 

“I’m not going to lie to you, Javi.” You told him, tapping the box against the center of his chest. “The idea of you letting me use this on you is… very appealing.” 

Javier cocked a brow upwards, “Really?”

You nodded, grinning up at him. “What can I say? I love it when you’re at my mercy.”

He hooked his fingers in your belt loops and pulled you towards him. “I’m always at my mercy, baby.” Javier told you, leaning down to kiss you gently. “But we tell no one.” 

You crossed your finger across your chest. “To the grave.” 

 ⁠—⁠—⁠—⁠—

 You knelt down on your knees in front of Josie, “Please be careful, sweetheart. You have a mouth full of pretty teeth that the tooth fairy isn’t ready to come collect.” You warned her as you tied the laces of her roller skates. 

“I’ll be careful, mommy.” She promised, grinning broadly at you and pointing at her teeth. “I have big girl teeth.”

“Not quite.” You chuckled, shaking your head. Though she did have one loose tooth. You weren’t sure you were ready for your four-year-old to have grown-up teeth. She was still your little baby. 

You stood back up, holding out your hands for her as she slid off the chair and tried to balance on her feet. “Ooo! I can roll!” She squeezed your hands excitedly, slowly sliding her feet back and forth like she was walking. 

Javier returned with two boxes of roller skates, sitting them down on the chair beside Josie’s. “Look at you!” He clapped for her, before he scooped her up into his arms, much to her delight. “Are you going to be safe out there?”

“Yeah!” Josie promised him, throwing her arms around his neck. 

You sat down in the chair and kicked off your shoes, opening the box Javier had brought over to grab your own pair of skates. “I’m going to warn you, it’s been since before Colombia since I’ve skated.” 

Javier gave you a look, “You think I’ve gone skating since we got to Miami?”

“Who knows what you and Steve get up to.” 

“Not this.” He nodded his head towards the rink, where Olivia and the rest of her birthday guests were already darting around on rollerskates. 

“I’m just saying, he’s got rollerblades. He knows what he’s doing.” You shrugged as you started lacing your shoes up. “Are you actually going to get out there?” You questioned, glancing up at him as he tossed Josie into the air, making her giggle and squeal. 

“You’re going to get kicked in the face with skates.” You warned him.

“Yeah.” He laughed, sitting Josie back down on her feet. “And yeah, I guess I’ll give a try.” 

“I’ll give you the same warning I gave her. Don’t break anything.” You looked up at him from under your lashes. “Old man.” 

Javier feigned offense, “Did you hear that, JoJo? Your mom thinks I’m old.” 

She scrunched up her nose and looked up at him. “But you are old daddy!” 

You snorted. “This is what you get for telling her you had a pet dinosaur when you were a kid.” 

Javier rolled his eyes. “I’m surrounded.” 

“Surrounded by what?” Monica questioned as she joined the three of you, already laced into her boots. 

“People who think Javi’s old.” You informed her with a grin. 

Monica laughed, “I’d comment, but I want a good grade in class.” She gestured beside her, “You guys remember Nadia.” 

“Nice to see you again,” Javier gave her a nod as he sank down into the seat beside you, opening up the box of rollerskates. 

“Are you really going to skate?” Monica arched a brow.

Javier pursed his lips, looking between the two of you. “Do you both know something I don’t know? Did my doctor call?” 

You leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You already complain about your back, Javi.” 

“I can skate.” He assured you, reaching over to give your knee a squeeze. “And someone’s gotta make sure Josie doesn’t wipe out.” 

Josie put her hands on her hips, “I don’t need help!” She announced, turning to Monica. “I have Monica!” 

“I think Monica and Nadia might want to skate alone, sweetheart.” You told her as you gave her a warning look. You had tried to teach Josie that there were times when Monica wanted to be alone, mostly when she was studying… but sometimes Josie missed the cues. 

“It’s really okay,” Monica assured you, holding her hand out for Josie. 

“Are you sure?” You looked between her and Nadia. 

Nadia shrugged. “I’m the one who agreed to a date at a child’s birthday party.” 

“Have fun, please.” You told Monica, “And send her back if she’s too much.” 

“Will do.” She and Nadia both gave you mock salutes, before they skated off with Josie in between them. 

“At least she’ll have fun.” You remarked as you finished tying your laces, giving Javier a sideways look. “All this teasing and I’m sure I’m going to be the one to bust my ass.” 

“Karma.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth and shot you a look as he laced up his shoes. “You’re going to give me a complex, baby.” 

“And what kind of complex is that, hmm?” You arched a brow. “Because I noticed two of those mothers sizing you up like a piece of cake.” 

 Javier huffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, like the fathers weren’t ogling you.” 

“They just can’t handle how hot we are.” You remarked as you stood up, testing your balance on the skates. “Okay, it is like riding a bike.” You said as you rolled backwards, shifting your weight as you slowly turned in a circle. “And for the record,” You told him, rolling towards him and planting your hands on his shoulders as you leaned forward, lips close to his ear. “You’re my favorite slice of cake.” 

He took your hands as you stood back up, letting you pull him to his feet. He was not quite as steady on his feet as you were, but after a couple minutes of slowly gliding over the carpeted floor outside the rink, he was ready to join the madhouse of children and parents rolling around the skating rink. 

Javier interlaced his fingers with yours as you skated side-by-side around the outside of the rink, maneuvering around slow moving children who were using PVC roller walkers to make their way around the rink. 

Once you both caught up with Monica and Nadia, you traded off with them, letting Josie skate in between you and Javier so they could go off and have a proper date. You were thrilled that she had found someone to spend time with. As much as you loved having her around the house to help (and pay penance for the drama she caused) you mostly just wanted her to be happy. She was a good kid, and you wanted the world for her. Just like you wanted the world for your own flesh and blood. 

“Mommy, I’m thirsty!” Josie complained. 

“We should probably check on Sofia anyways.” You pointed out, guiding the three of you towards the exit point. 

“I’m waiting for Connie to tell us they’re going to try to adopt another kid,” Javier quipped, “I’m afraid Sofia’s given her baby fever all over again.” 

You laughed, “Does Steve want another one?”

“No.” 

“Two is already a lot to handle.” 

“Yeah, I know.” He gave a pointed look down at Josie who was clinging to his hand. 

“Ditto.” You played with Josie’s curls, “Why don’t you go with daddy to get some punch, sweetheart.” 

“Okay.” She nodded, holding both of her arms up in the air, so Javier had to carry her. You were actually impressed that he was able to carry a squirming four-year-old and skate his way around the rink towards where the refreshments were set up. 

You skated over towards Connie who was settled into a booth with Sofia and Emily, who was not interested in skating with her sister. “Having fun?” You questioned as you slid into the booth across from them. 

“Yeah!” Connie nodded. “I’m so glad so many people decided to come out for this. With how close it’s getting to Halloween, I didn’t know how many people wanted to be out with their kids two Fridays in a row.” 

“Josie’s having a blast.” You grinned. “I think everyone’s having fun.” You looked towards Emily. “Except for someone.” 

“She’s at the stage where she doesn’t want to do anything her sister wants to.” 

“I’m dreading that.” You admitted, peering across the table at the drawing Emily was working. “What’s that?” You asked her. 

“Hunchback.” 

“Oooh, a coloring book.” You said with feigned enthusiasm. “We just got Josie a Beauty and the Beast one the other day.” 

“I like Belle.” Emily beamed. 

“Josie does too.” You looked towards Connie then. “Have you seen Hunchback? It’s intense for a kid.”

Connie made a face and nodded. “I told Steve to watch it first, but he didn’t listen. Liv was terrified. Emily, not so much.” 

You chuckled, “Wildly different kids, huh?”

She nodded, looking towards Emily with a fond smile. “I think this one’s going to end up a politician. I’ve never seen a three-year-old debate the way she does.” 

You shook your head as you laughed, “Tell her to be a lawyer instead. Still corrupt, better pay.” 

“So… how are things?” Connie questioned, folding her arms atop the table as she regarded you with an arched brow. 

You rubbed at the back of your neck, “I mean therapy is definitely helping. Nancy’s really got us working on aspects of our relationship that we didn’t really realize had issues.” 

“Issues?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “I mean none of it is really serious, but we’re both… I don’t know, bad at communicating.” 

“Really?”

“I know. Surprise.” You shook your head. “We’ve both shielded each other from a lot of misunderstandings and weird emotions.” You glanced towards the rink, brows furrowed as you sought out Javier amongst the crowd. He had Josie on his shoulders while he chatted with Steve. “I still have bad days,” You admitted to Connie as you looked back at her. “Sofia is so different from Josie. She was such a good baby, but with Sofia it’s just… I don’t know how much of it is actually an issue and how much of it is just my brain telling me its an issue.” 

“Is the medicine helping?” 

You nodded. “Yeah. First week or so it made me super exhausted. But that’s better now.”

“Any other problems?”

“None.” You smirked. “I’m fortunate that those side effects didn’t crop up. I would’ve died.”

“I know I didn’t really know Javi that well before you came to Colombia, but…” Connie shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just very impressed with him.” She gestured towards the skating rink, where Steve and Javier were helping their daughters skate backwards. “I never pictured him as the type of man who would go to therapy for his partner.” 

You smiled as you watched him scoop up Josie as she started to fall backwards in her attempt to skate. He bounced her in his arms, before setting her back on her feet and encouraging her to try again. “He’s a better man than he’s willing to accept.” 

“Honestly, I feel like an idiot.” 

“Why?”

Connie gave you a look, “All those times I tried to set him up with someone.” 

You shrugged, “You were just trying to be a good friend.” 

“But you were right there.” 

You nodded your head slowly. “I was, but… things worked out for the best.” 

“If we’re being honest,” Connie lowered her voice. “I used to think Javier would be a terrible influence on Steve. I mean, I never doubted Steve, but when you spend all that time with someone willing to… you know.” 

“I know you judged me too.” 

Connie made a face, “Just a little bit of judging.” 

You laughed, shaking your head. “No shame in that.” 

“But I’m glad things have worked out for the two of you.” She told you honestly. “I always wanted the best for both of you, I just didn’t realize the best was together.” 

You shrugged, “I mean, neither did we. If you and Steve hadn’t decided to leave, who knows where we’d be right now.” You made a face. “I don’t like any of the alternatives that don’t lead me here.” 

Sofia started fussing in her baby seat and you gestured for Connie to pass the carrier across the table. “Is it too noisy in here for you?” You questioned, as you unstrapped her and picked her up. 

She tried to fit her fist into her mouth, cooing as you sat her on the edge of the table, cradling the back of her head. “She’s started rolling over.” 

“Big milestone.” 

You couldn’t help but smile as Sofia gurgled and waved her slobbery fist at you. “What? You want kisses?” You questioned, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead and then each cheek. “I just can’t believe how fast four months have come and gone.” 

“Almost five.” She pointed out. 

“I can't even believe that Josie is as big as she is. Time’s… moving quickly.” You shook your head slowly. “You’re getting so big.” You scrunched up your nose, leaning in to nuzzle it against her cheek. 

“You’re not bad on those.” Connie quipped and you glanced to your right as Javier rolled towards the table. You scooted over, giving him space to sit down. 

“Worn out?”

“That child can go and go.” He swept his hand over his forehead. “Monica’s got her.” 

“Good.” You leaned towards him and pressed your cheek against his shoulder with a sigh. “We were talking about how big the girls are getting.”

“It’s fuc— freaking crazy.” He corrected himself, glancing towards Emily who was working on deciphering some puzzle on one of the coloring pages. “Though someone seems to think I’m getting crotchety.” 

You snorted, “Well, if you keep using old man words.” 

He squeezed your leg under the table, “Not too old that I’m not willing to learn a few new tricks.” 

Your cheeks burned, but you occupied yourself with your daughter, rather than acknowledging what he’d said. “Just you wait until your father gets you walking early like he did with your sister.” You gave her foot a squeeze as she started kicking them towards you. 

“Gimmie.” Javier held his hands out and you let him take Sofia. “She’s got a strong kick.” He remarked, grimacing a little as her foot knocked into his sternum. “I’m telling you, both of our daughters are going to be soccer players.” 

“How’s Josie enjoying gymnastics?” Connie questioned. 

“Better than ballet.” You rolled your eyes. “The moms aren’t nearly as…”

Javier snorted, “The moms don’t have a pact at gymnastics.” 

“I still don’t get it.” You teased, nudging him in the ribs. 

He turned and pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. “You must see something.” 

You lifted your hand and brushed your fingers over his forehead, fluffing his hair as you grinned at him. “Yeah, I guess I see a whole lot of something I like.” You pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “I love you.” 

“Love you too, baby.” 

“You’re both disgusting,” Connie remarked with a grin. 

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “Trust me, I know.” You rested your cheek against his shoulder again, watching Javi as he entertained Sofia. 

[mystech-master]

Annon-Guy: What are you personal thoughts on Nu-13 and Lambda-11 In terms of gameplay and personality? You can talk about their character designs too id you want too.

Okay, I need to first summarize what I know of Nu and Lambda at the moment before I give my personal thoughts. A lot of shorthanding and maybe some errors may be involved so plz forgive me.

long post bellow, beware.

Nu-13 and Lambda-11 are both Prime Field Devices, artificial humans made for the purpose of exploring the boundary. Specifically, they are Murakumo Units: PFD’s outfitted with the Nox Nyctores Lux Sanctus: Murakumo as full-on weapons.

When Ragna’s siblings were captured, because of Saya’s innate gift with seithr, she was used as the basis for creating all of these Units. There are usually referred to as “clones” which means everyone treats them as either the same as Saya or also sisters, leading to a lot of incest jokes and rants in the fandom. More on this later but I feel like it has to be brought up.

we first meet Nu-13 as the final boss of the first game Calamity Trigger, where we learn that this is technically the 3rd time she and Ragna have met, since before this Ragna was blowing up NOL branches and cauldrons to stop more Murakumo Units from being made, as they are all just fake copies of his sister who was tortured for their creation.

Nu-13 has a full-on yandere crush on Ragna due to 2 factors I believe, 1. she is constantly viewing him through the lens of the fragment of Saya’s soul saying “Ragna is the big brother who loves me”, and 2. Ragna killing her again and again. This causes her to see Ragna killing her as loving her. Not helping is her being made in the Boundary which completely fucks up your mental state when near it.

At the end of almost every ending in CT, Nu defeats Ragna, skewering them both on her sword, they fall into the Cauldron and travel back in time 100 years to become the Black Beast that ravaged the world in the Dark War, creating a time loop. As when a Murakumo does an imperfect fusion with an Azure Grimoire (or at least a piece of the Azure) it becomes a Black Beast, with a perfect fusion resulting in a Kusanagi: the God Slayer (which is what Noel becomes and what the villains were trying to do to take down Amaterasu (the god of Blazblue world). Fitting as a Murakumo, with the Kusanagi being a super version of it, has a Nox capable of resisting Phenomenon Intervention, which is the Mater Unit’s main Power. So when they say God Slayer they do not mean gods in general they mean a SPECIFIC god. Just need to say that).

Anyways, Nu kills Ragna every now and again for like 725 loops before Noel steps in during the true ending and manages to grab Ragna before he and Nu fall into the Cauldron.

In Continuum Shift, the second game taking place right/ a week after the first game, Nu’s body is recovered from the bottom of the Cauldron (yes those things apparently have a bottom they aren’t just portals) by Sector Seven and Kokonoe proceeds to ake Nu’s soul and put it in the body of another Murakumo Unit, Lambda-11 to use as a puppet and fight for her. Her weapons are made of titanium alloy instead of Hihi'irokane (the mythical Japanese metal which is also in the Susano’o Unit and is also the name of a Soul cutting sword in Blazblue), and she is outfitted with an IDEA Engine, an improved version of the Artificial Causality Phenomenon Weapons: a scientific counterpart to the Nox Nyctores using Atomic Power rather than souls.

Lambda’s memories are still in there and she recalls the torture she had to endure by all the scientists creating her, which I assume all Murakumos underwent including Nu, so Kokonoe has to erase her memories to make her an effective tool, even if she regrets it.

They don't really explain where the soul starts and the mind/memories begin and vice versa though, this is another thing I will tackle later.

She sends out Lambda in the second game to do things, she like Tager for the most part just acts as Kokonoe’s proxy, until the climax of the true ending where Ragna is fighting Terumi at the top of the NOL branch. Just as Terumi is about to kill Ragna, Lambda takes a lethal blow for Ragna, and in her final moments, Nu’s soul comes to the surface and is glad she got to see Ragna again, him having recently gone through the character development of not seeing Murakumos as things but as people after interacting with Noel. As she dies and fades into sparkles, weird for a science thing, she grants Ragna her Idea Engine, giving him the power boost he needs to defeat Terumi and later save Noel who was smelted into the Kusanagi.

Now in the third game, because Ragna and Nu have a Life Link, which means one cannot die permanently without the other being killed in a short time frame, Nu is now able to come back as she couldn’t before with Kokonoe shoving her soul into Lambda. She mostly just acts as the villains' combat android until she copies Noel’s power to summon the Master Unit (as both are Saya fragments and also fragments of The Origin, the first PFD who made contact with the Master Unit and sort of.....became it?). Then in the climax, the villains summon Take-Mikazuchi, a giant titan satellite laser thing, and make Nu the core of it. Once the body is destroyed Ragna goes inside to deal with Nu. She proceeds with her usual shtick of telling Ragna they will “become one” and to kill her and all that, saying the backstory of pretty much every Murakumo about how she was made to be a weapon and how she was tortured and shit, this is also her saying Noel’s backstory since Noel ‘Observed” Nu as her which is SORT of true since they are both Saya but not really, it’s confusing as hell. But, basically, she is saying the shared Murakumo Backstory and Ragna sees this as her cries to be saved, while Nu, who only sees her and Ragna’s relationship as a mutually sadomasochistic one, goes bonkers and tries to kill Ragna, not out of yandere lust, but actual anger and hatred. Ragna wins and brings her out of Take-Mikazuchi, where Izanami takes control of her and makes her stab Ragna and he goes berserk and loses control of the Azure Grimoire.

the fourth game Central Fiction is a mess so I know the least here but from what I recall:

Nu is now growing to be her own person, she is less robotic but that means Yandere Ragna mode is on all the time. She is going around absorbing Nox Nyctores to get power so she can kill Ragna and do the merge. Near the climax, she is fighting Jubei and when she almost kills Tsubaki, Hakumen steps in and wrecks her shit. (In a previous time loop Tsubaki was killed by Nu b/c Noel didn’t exist and wasn’t Jin’s secretary instead of Tsubaki, so she went after Jin in the first game who was going after Ragna, she got caught in the crossfire, with Nu’s yandere mind hating any female in the same room as Ragna, and dies. Jin then falls into the cauldron after Ragna and Nu to become Hakumen during the Dark War. More time loop BS).

Meanwhile due to the Embryo, BS plot device, Lambda just.....comes back to life. Even though her soul was technically never a part of the story as it was NU’S soul in the body during CS. Anyways she is basically “good Nu” she is fighting the villains through sheer Power of Love and just wants to see Rgana again, she is pretty unimportant in the overall scheme of things.

After the world is remade Noel and Lambda move into the rebuilt church where Ragna and the siblings grew up and became nuns, looking after the comatose Nu who is kind of a vegetable with her sole reason for existing, Ragna, now no longer existing and all memory of him being erased.

Okay so after that lengthy summary, here are my thoughts.

1. the sister thing.

In spite of them being “clones” of Ragna’s little sister Saya, that hasn't stopped a shit load of ship teasing with the Murakumos by both the writers and the fandom.

Part of me thinks it’s because they go too far in the “They are their own unique people, they aren’t just fake copies of Saya” to which the fans mostly agree, but that just means while they aren’t Saya they are still related/connected to her. It isn't like Ragna can only have ONE sister.

Also, the reveal of Izanami being Saya at the end of CS also factors into this.

My only way to do mental gymnastics around this is saying that by “clone” they just mean copy/looks like her and has the same abilities, but genetically they are different.

I mean, we have no idea how Murakumos....work. They can't have any mechanical bits because we see them get zapped in-game and they have no metal, Noel CERTAINLY would've known she wasn't human if she didn't grow like a normal human or eat, sleep, produce waste, etc.

To me, Murakumos seem to be like software/computer programs given physical form via seithr. More like the Valentines in Guilty Gear, “robots” made up of information.

Plus, the story only ever points out the sibling connection with Ragna and Noel, and that’s in the LAST game and until then she’s just a stranger to him, with Lambda and Nu NEVER being treated the same.

And before anyone goes “BUT THE SCIENTIFIC DEFINITION OF CONE MEANS ‘HUR DE DUR, SAME DNA’ AND THEY USE THE WORD CLONE TO DESCRIBE THEM IN CANON! MEH!”, that could just be an over-simplification as to what they are, and I feel like a lot of series just rely on an oversimplification of terms. Like how Black Holes mostly work in fiction is NOT how they work IRL.

Now, does this mean I would’ve wanted Ragna to get with Noel or Lambda or Nu? Fuck no. I can appreciate cute little one-shots that have nothing to do with canon, but in terms of looking this train wreck of a story and trying to fix it they have other issues that make me not want to ship them.

I might go into why I wouldn't want Ragna x Noel in another post later, but I’ll stay on topic with Nu and Lambda.

Both are kind of boring

Lambda is basically Nu with less personality and is just a plot device for the most part.

As for Nu, even if you redeem her and keep her loving Ragna qualities without the yandere murder, it is still boring. because all her interests are Ragna she has nothing else going for her. Outside of the most generic romance shit what can you see Nu doing with him? it’s a bit upsetting because Nu seems like the type of person who’d have Ragna’s back and punch Jin in the dick if he insults or threatens Ragna, which is something I would LOVE in an S.O. for Ragna.  But without her own interests and character, she is just......boring. And yeah you could theorize that she gains an interest outside of Ragna post-redemption but that is too broad of a statement that I can’t really do anything with it.

So frankly, even IF we ignore the sister thing or do weird mental gymnastics about it, Ragna/Nu and Lambda would just be BORING as they are in canon outside of the most generic BS.

2. The connection between Nu and Lambda

Really Lambda was just made to keep Nu’s gameplay in while killing her in canon, that is a dumb excuse.

Some people like to see Lambda s Nu but redeemed temporarily but then come to CP and it’s like none of the Lambda stuff mattered. You’d think that at least Ragna would use Lambda’s death as an ace for his argument on using the Azure Grimoire as when he wasn't able to use it he got his shit kicked in and someone had to DIE for him because of that. But NOPE.

Then she is revived for bullshit fanservice reasons in CP Extend and is barely a thing in Story Mode

A while ago I made a post showing 3 ways they could've gotten rid of Nu that would’ve made good character moments. I will be focusing on number 3 here: Have Nu and Lambda be the same person.

Instead of Lambda being brought back via Embryo Bullshit, have Nu and Lambda be a split personality deal. Like Nu is the CS Mu to Lambda’s Noel. Say during Ragna’s Arcade mode or Nu’s Arcade mode Nu slightly hesitates when about to kill Ragna, reality flickers a bit revealing Lambda’s color scheme on Nu, showing that Lambda is within her. Nu’s soul spending time in Lambda has given her an alternate identity.

This doesn't just have to affect just Ragna, maybe Lambda remembers that Kokonoe mind-wiped her and tried to make her into a puppet thus making her no better than the villains.

During the climax, instead of Nu’s yandere rage, we have that mixed in with Lambda’s hysterical cries begging for death due to the torture of Nu’s memories. Both side tr and kill Ragna out of rage or trying to force him to kill them in self-defense. Ragna, of course, doesn’t and saves them, thus allowing Nu-Lambda to be brought back to Kokonoe and redeemed.

Maybe her hair is a mix of Nu and Lambda’s making it a Platinum Blonde (making it a mixture of Nu’s white hair and Lambda’s blonde hair), and the tanner skin complexion and red eyes further separate her from Noel.

3. Story roles

The first two games are fine for the most part but I have some ideas for the last two.

For the 3rd game, an idea I had was instead of Nu being the one to summon the Master Unit via stealing Noel’s power, have Amane do something important in this game instead of having him chase Carl.

he is said the be the “Uzume” like the god who stripped and made Amaterasu come out of the cave after her sibling fallout with Susano’o. Simply have Amane be the “herald of Amaterasu”, possibly being a being similar to Terumi, a spirit of a god unit. maybe not AS powerful as the Sankishin, but just under. This means that Nine’s Hino Kagutsuchi would fall under this category as well. Or maybe he simply has a story connection with Noel in accepting the part of her connection to the Origin and the Azure or something.

To go off of the shipping thing above, maybe to at least use the Saya soul thing, she is struggling with her feelings towards Ragna because how much of these feelings are her own, and how many are born from an isolated sibling’s misplaced love? This is probably something a villain taunts her about

I kind of theorize that Saya’s fear of other people instilled in her during the siblings’ days as lab rats and Ragna protecting her made her develop an unhealthy sister crush on him, this, of course, isn't helped by the Origin (who she is based on) wanting Ragan to be her knight in shining armor.

Again, more on this later possibly.

Anyways, so Lambda can get her own feelings in order and prove that she isn’t just a copy of Saya or Noel, she tries to make her own identity. maybe cutting off that large Murakumo ponytail in the process, b.c that’s an Asian culture thing about cutting hair to symbolize the beginning of a new stage in her life. Maybe after forgiving Kokonoe, she joins Sector Seven not as a field agent like Tager, but as Kokonoe’s new assistant and friend, showing that she isn't going to be used as a tool or a weapon.

I still need to get on with drawing Lambda in a lab coat styled after her Murakumo cloak.

As for at least Nu’s connection with Ragna. It is weird because I generally either hate or have enormous contempt for almost everyone Ragna has interacted with for the pettiest reasons. For Nu, while she is crazy towards Ragna and tries to kill him, it's due to her own psychosis and insanity, which is partially Ragna’s fault. Everyone else who gives Ragna shit is either a villain (in which case it’s fine because it is a VILLAIN, which Nu sort of counts as), or an arrogant asshole who KNOWS what they are doing for the lols. So I SORT OF give Nu a semi-pass. But like I stated above I can’t see what she would be if she were redeemed, so I do feel like if she wasn't going to be used as a way to bring Lambda back, she should've been killed.

 The point is, the Murakumos have a lot of potential for smaller things but they are incredibly mishandled in a lot of ways too, including showing up where they really shouldn't a lot of times. Shipping is okay so long as you are capable of doing mental gymnastics to ignore the sister shit, and don’t look at a whole lot of other issues.

These are just my thoughts and maybe I didn’t explain things enough, or I did it weirdly, or I have some different opinions, IDK. This series gives me a lot of feelings

[myfriendpokey]

GARBAGE DAY!

a bunch of scrappy shorter pieces to clean out my drafts folder for the new year!

***

A videogame will tend towards exhausting every possible variation of a design space whether anyone wants it to or not.

Videogames and duration - if something is good it should continue being good however long you extend it. You don't really encounter the idea that something can be good for a little while and then be evil.

***

Works of art are "in conversation" with their audience, with materials, with history, with each other. The aim of an artwork is to start, or add to, "the conversation". "Conversation" sort of edges out the older tic whereby art "examines" or "explores" something, which always made me think of a big magnifying glass being propped up for the benefit of some eerily calm 1950s scientist. But now that sounds too chilly, and perhaps sort of sketchy in the power dynamics it implies. "Conversation" is much warmer, informal and more fluid - "conversation" is the assurance that any given power dynamic can be dissolved away in the warm glow of basic, mutual humanity. Let's talk it through! My door is always open! Whenever there's a complaint over labour conditions or harassment it's nearly de rigueur to also quote the wounded-sounding HR lackey, upset that people didn't talk to them about it before going public. Why would anybody deny the friendly, outstretched hand of the respected opponent and their entirely in-good-faith quibbling about word meanings, personality and tone? Why don't we have an honest conversation about the "honest conversation", that numbing discourse cloud sprayed out like formic acid to neutralize a threat, to melt any unsettling edges or contraries back into the familiar gloop of the private and the personal.

***

One of the pleasures of videogames is that of an infinitely repeatable, always identical procedure. Pressing the button makes something happen, and by pressing it again it will happen again in the same way. So there's a kind of abundance or excess built into the system - like partaking of a fruit which will never be depleted, and in the process taking on in your own actions something of that same infinity. You can temporarily identify with the self-identical, eternally reproducing action that you are performing. I think one of the difficulties of videogames is that as you get (slightly!) older, that immortal quality becomes more visibly alien, harder to align to your sense of self. That these mechanics act like black holes, able to absorb any amount of your life without ever being satiated, becomes a terrible curse rather than an unexpected gift. That endlessness now seems eerie and artificial, a horrible parody of life rather than the highest version of it. 

The dadification of vgames has gone much remarked. But as well as a demographic shift I think this reflects a certain anxiety about the centrality of these immortal entities, these endless loops, within the culture. As reward for your fealty to the Mario brand you get even more Mario games, which by now you may not have time or energy to actually play. The VG dad (or even the buff, single pseudo-dads of the superhero movies) is eternally exhausted with the genre that he’s trapped in. We hear him groan and complain as he painfully slogs through the motions. The gratuitous loop is redeemed by the finite human suffering of the dad, as he manfully does what it takes to keep these things going forwards to the next generation, so that the next set of children may be able to actually take pleasure in them again. But the attempt to symbolically re-integrate these things into human life by casting them as a family drama never quite works: their ultimate indifference to that life shines through. A blind, eerie deathlessness is both their charm and their authority.

***

That saying that when all you have is a hammer everything else looks like a nail - similarly, when all you have is willpower, everything looks like an obstacle to be pounded into submission by that same willpower. 

Laziness is a good thing in that it means stepping back from this idiot insatiability of the will. If you're lazy you have to pay more attention, because you're more aware of both your own limits and the limits of your material. 

I think there can be value in suspending a formal problem rather than building an exhaustive system to solve it forever. That way it's still something you have to think about, something that still throws off and reroutes the normal workings of your awful private fantasy machine. Dropping text strings into the game as elements to spatially encounter is not ideal technically but does force you to be more responsive and exploratory with how you use that text. Robust systems can be cool, but can also really homogenize everything - now "text" is just the miscellaneous stuff within the all-purpose "textbox" at the bottom of the screen, cementing its role as filler content.

The funny thing about really systemic, open-world type games is that their very robustness tends to suffocate exprience before it happens. We know nothing will happen which will significantly impact this camera POV, this dialogue system.. anything can happen except for anything which would require a fundamental change to the underlying inventory system. But maybe the whole pleasure of the open world game is just being able to hold those experiences in suspense.

***

Mostly the characters voicing my own opinions in my videogames are explicitly malign and sinister - which is a corny device for me to vent without worrying as much about browbeating people with my opinions. But it's also a way of having those opinions without allowing them to overdetermine the rest of the game, or be fully in control over the more ambivalent and drifting work of "putting together different pieces on a screen to make interesting spaces". So in that sense my own ideas really are the enemies, and any plot role they serve in the game is a dramatisation of the effort to create a space where they lack controlling power.

***

RPG Maker is a collage machine, you get a set of pictures and start placing them around until they start to form some kind of charged and interesting space.

I think the collage aspect is a lot of what I enjoy about making these things, which is why games with more polished or consistent art styles frequently leave me cold. For me the greater the discrepancy between different objects on screen means a greater effect when they're combined. 

How does gameplay etc tie in? For me gameplay can divert the interest but never truly capture it. For decades games have had the problem of effectively being able to train you to do something, but having no idea what that thing should be or why it would matter. They effectively move your attention around without being able to settle it because their inner logic is basically always the same ahistorical, mechanistic void. But this can be a good thing - the permanently restless and unsettled nature of videogame attention can't illuminate itself, but can do so to other things in passing. 

Distraction becomes a way to examine surfaces, rather than being sucked into depths or settled to one fixed meaning. And the drift of unsettled consciousness is ultimately what animates game collages, the spaces that shift and react as attention plays across them, revealing or withholding. And so from this perspective, the answer to why I make videogames is: because I don't trust myself to look after an aquarium.

***

Design is managerial aesthetics - a mode of expertise framed as meta-expertise specifically because it scales up so well to systems of mass organisation and production. It's a universal discipline insofar as the task of removing any obstacles to the frictionless flow of attention and of capital is now also a universal chore. In this context a designer is like the MBA who can be dropped into any business to improve it, without ever having to know just what product they make – because the ultimate goal is always the same, the same tools can always be used. 

The cutesy books about the design of everyday life and so forth exist in the same vein as the ones that tell us there's nothing wrong with marketing because ultimately isn't all human discourse and activity some form of marketing? Isn't everything "design"? The strange top-heaviness with which these things outgrow their host categories parallels the unstoppable expansion of executive salaries within the businesses themselves. The task of managing other people's labour becomes ever more grandoise, ineffable, cosmic and well-paid as that labour in turn is framed as a kind of undifferentiated slop which exists for the sake of being shaped by creatives.

***

tragedy / comedy:

Generalizing hugely I feel like tragedy is about an event or experience so powerful it changes everything - for the characters involved, for the people in that world, for the audience watching - while conversely comedy is the idea that no event or experience can change anything. Oedipus dies and there's a big announcement and everyone has to sit through the awkward two-minute silence before getting back to work, while trying not to fart or itch too noticeably, and the next day somebody's selling Oedipus commemorative pens which run out of ink five minutes after opening, and the pen cap gets lost and the cat starts playing with it. 

In comedy the tragic can still happen, it’s just never strong enough to escape the constraints of the inert material universe which we find ourselves in – all that which remains so stubbornly intractable towards the higher instincts. I can talk about the dignity of man but there's still a risk that my pants will fall down or that someone will hit me with a ladder, causing my head to get stuck inside a bucket of paint, etc. Or my voice might be ridiculous or I might have a stutter (old comedy standbys!), or someone might hear part of my words out of context and assign them a different and unintended meaning. Comedy is consciousness imprisoned within a cumbersome matter which it can't completely do anything with, but also can't exist without. 

Taken as a worldview, this sort of risks congealing into the kneejerk reactionary things-can-never-change, whatever-moment-of-human-history-i-was-reared-in-is-eternal-and-inviolate radio DJ / South Park mindset. And of course somebody's view of what constitutes a tragic, life-changing event depends greatly on whether it's happening to them or someone else. But as exaggeration, in its neurotic overemphasis of the inescapable material, i think this approach still has interest and use. Many of my favourite writers have a kind of comic understanding of consciousness: consciousness becomes a churning material process with its own independent momentum which has to be examined and accounted for as part of any real reckoning with the world. In this light comedy becomes a way to think about opacity and limitation, both in physical matter and in our own selves.

I think many people have made the point that vgames are generally comic, intentionally or unintentionally. The rhetoric around them still tends towards the tragic: make the choice which changes everything! Deal with the consequences, accept your fate! But in practice those moments feel less visible than the clumsy material layer of GUIs, inputs, mechanics and representations that contain and constrain them. The opacity of the black box is one inhibition: was that meant to happen? Was it scripted or a glitch? Maybe I should reload my save and try again. Another is the inertia of the various game systems and loops themselves - [x] character may have died but you still need to collect those chocobo racing feathers if you want the Gold Sword. The numbers in a videogame "want" to keep going up, whatever happens: there's an affordance there which exists independently to any merely human wants and needs, and so tends to act as a gravity well for distracted consciousness as it wanders around. When people talk about tragedy in videogames it's usually with the implicit rider that it's within a game, or set of game conventions, which have become naturalised enough to become invisible. Which also tends to mean the naturalisation of a form, of inputs, of technology, of distribution mechanisms and assumptions, which however arty we can get are still inherently tied to the tech industry. Every art game is to some extent an invitation to spend more time internalising the vocab of your windows computer.

I've mentioned that the materialism of comedy can tend towards unthinking reaction. But the insistence on certain limits inherent to the human body – requirements like clean water and clean air, food and shelter, actual bathroom breaks and not piss jugs and also not having to live six feet beneath a rising sea level - can be helpful at a point when all these things are regarded as negotiable impediments to the pursuit of future profit. Maybe it’s a good thing that some materials can still be so insistent about refusing to be absorbed into the will.

***

I think what I most enjoy about art is the sense of a game with moveable stakes: where you never quite know the value of what you're playing for, which now appears absolutely trivial, and now appears to stand in judgement of the whole world, etc. I think this is also the Adorno idea of the aesthetic as really the extra-aesthetic, that which can step outside or threaten to step outside the limits of the merely aesthetic. It's why "just make a good game / pop song / comic / etc" never quite works, in rhetoric or in practice: the really good pop song is never that which just gives the enjoyable three minutes of listening we might consciously assign to be its remit, it's what overflows or undercuts that category, that which however briefly seems at risk of stepping outside it and into the realm of everyday life.

I grew up on pop culture so I don't have to feel positively towards it. Who am I meant to be defending it from? The handful of surviving WASPs reared on Brahms who get the ostentatiously-fussy-culture-review posts at print newspapers looking to pick up a slightly higher quality of margarine advertisement? The best thing pop culture ever gave me was its own critique: that of containing artists and moments which couldn't be squared with what the rest of it was saying, which seemed  to call the whole enterprise into question and in doing so broadened the sense of what was possible. Pop culture was never quite identified with itself, the value it has is in containing elements which make that self-identification impossible. So it always throws me off to see people celebrating "pop culture", like it's a self-produced totality, when that totality was only ever good for kicking.

Pop culture survives through a negativity it can never properly acknowledge.

[images: Tower of Druaga, Detana!! TwinBee, True Golf Classics: Wicked 18, Microsurgeon, Dark Edge]

[thisdaynews]

Wolverhampton Wanderers 0-0 Manchester United, FA Cup third round

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Wolverhampton Wanderers 0-0 Manchester United, FA Cup third round

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Highlights: Wolverhampton Wanderers 0-0 Manchester United

Manchester United failed to have a shot on target in a domestic game for the first time since January 2015 as they played out a goalless FA Cup draw at Molineux.

With United having a two-legged EFL Cup semi-final against Manchester City this month, the Old Trafford replay will take up their only spare January midweek without a game.

For Wolves, it adds to a marathon season that has already reached 36 games.

In a largely disappointing rematch of last year’s quarter-final, Marcus Rashford and Raul Jimenez both struck the woodwork in the second half.

Rashford came close a minute after his introduction as a second-half substitute, when his shot looped off Wolves skipper Conor Coady.

Jimenez’s was all his own work as he raced down the byeline and then, completely lacking in support, surprised United keeper Sergio Romero by shooting from a virtually impossible angle, sending the ball skidding off the woodwork.

Wolves’ long season stretching resources

Wolves, whose season started in July, gave a debut to 21-year-old striker Benny Ashley-Seal. He became the 26th player to start for Wolves during this campaign.

In truth, the young Londoner did not sparkle and appeared to complain of feeling ill before he was replaced by Jimenez at the break.

Wolves did create the best chance of the opening period, when a Pedro Neto corner was flicked on to Matt Doherty at the far post, only for Romero to make a fine reaction save.

Romero repelled Neto with his feet when the Portuguese teenager collected Adama Traore’s pass and created a space for a shot on the edge of the area after half-time, by which point the visitors were still to have a shot on target.

They did have a penalty claim for a foul on Brandon Williams by Leander Dendocker, although the video assistant referee confirmed on-field official Paul Tierney’s decision not to award it

Juan Mata drifted a free-kick just wide and Rashford hit the bar when the ball looped up after Coady slid in to block 19 minutes from time, but Wolves keeper John Ruddy had still not made a save of note even then.

Matt Doherty’s header was ruled out by VAR after the ball struck the defender’s arm on its way in

United labour badly in attack

No-one could accuse the visitors of having an easy time of it in the FA Cup recently.

Their past four games have all been away. Their opponents? Arsenal, Chelsea, Wolves and Wolves again. Molineux proved to be the end of their journey last season and for watching former manager Sir Alex Ferguson it must have felt a long time ago that United came to this venue and won 3-0 in a fourth-round tie in 2006.

Ferguson’s team that day included Wayne Rooney and Ruud van Nistelrooy, two of the greatest forwards in the club’s history.

Current boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer simply does not have the same class in his squad and on a day when Rashford started on the bench and Anthony Martial was missing through illness, United laboured badly in attack.

Typical of a first half in which the visitors failed to have a single shot on target was the moment when Harry Maguire won the ball with a thunderous tackle on Traore, only for Andreas Pereira to pick up possession on the halfway line then, rather than drive into space, plod forward a few strides, turn square with a slow pass and lose any momentum.

Fixture congestion compounded

The replay will be at Old Trafford between the next two rounds of Premier League fixtures and comes after both clubs – as with every other English professional club – had four matches to play over the festive period.

For United, who like Wolves have reached the last 32 of the Europa League, it means that by the time these side play again in the league on 1 February, they will have played a minimum 18 games in 63 days – and even more if they do eventually reach the fourth round.

Man of the match – Raul Jimenez (Wolves)

Produced the one moment of class in the game when his shot from a tight angle struck the frame of the goal

Wolves stretch unbeaten run against United – the stats

Manchester United failed to have a single shot on target in this match, the second time they’ve done so in all competitions this season (also vs AZ in the Europa League).

Wolves are unbeaten in their past five matches against Manchester United in all competitions (W2 D3), their longest such streak against the Red Devils since a run of six between 1959-1962.

United failed to score for the first time in 14 meetings with Wolves in all competitions, since losing 1-0 in a Premier League match in January 2004.

Manchester United have been taken to an FA Cup third-round replay for the first time since 2012-13, when they eliminated West Ham at Old Trafford.

Wolves’ Roman Saiss picked up his 11th card in all competitions this season (10 yellow, 1 red), more than any other Premier League player.

‘Moments of really good football’ – what the managers said

Wolves manager Nuno Espirito Santo, speaking to Match of the Day:“At times today we were at our best, especially in the second half. The first half was not so good. We were much better in the second half, created chances and had good combinations. There were moments of really good football.”

On his team’s hectic schedule:“We must compete. We are always happy to face Manchester United. Whether you face them home or away, you always have to challenge yourself. This is what you want to become better – challenging yourself against the best teams.

“It’s about having a team that can compete against any opponent.”

Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, speaking to Match of the Day:“I’m happier to be in the replay than going out – it’s a tough place to come.

“They had chances – Sergio Romero made some great saves and we got off the hook with the header. Sergio has never let us down, he’s kept so many clean sheets. He is a fantastic human being and a top professional.

“He’s putting pressure on David de Gea and that’s what we want. We want the best players in the world here.

“It’s a competition I love. It’s a fair result that we are both still in the cup.”

What next?

Wolves are next in action in the Premier League at home to Newcastle on Saturday, 11 January (15:00 GMT kick-off). Manchester United entertain Manchester City in the EFL Cup semi-final first leg on Tuesday, 7 January (20:00 GMT) before playing Norwich in the Premier League at Old Trafford next Saturday (15:00 GMT).

Watch all the latest FA Cup goals, highlights and reaction here

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