#I am beyond overwhelmed
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You might know this tiny frog.
This is Mini mum (photo by Andolalao Rakotoarison), a species I had the pleasure to name—together with a team of amazing colleagues—back in 2019.
That was the start of a fascination with the process and consequences of miniaturisation for vertebrates. How the hell does this tiny frog manage to fit all of its vital organs—more or less all the same senses and organs that we have—into a package the size of a tic-tac‽ Why and how has it evolved to be so small? And why don't we get frogs that are much smaller?
Well, I just secured 1.5 MILLION Euros (!!!) in the form of a European Research Commission Starting Grant, to answer these and other related questions in the genomes of Mini frogs and other miniaturised vertebrates.
Because it turns out, there are *lots* of miniaturised vertebrates, and they push the boundaries of how small we think it is possible for a vertebrate to be! Here is a little graphic of some of them, scaled to a BIC ballpoint pen.
The project is called GEMINI: The Genomics of Miniaturisation in Vertebrates! You can read more about it on my website here, and in the press release, here!
#HUGE NEWS ABOUT TINY ANIMALS#news#miniaturisation#biology#science#genomics#Mini#this is a career defining grant#I am beyond overwhelmed#so many zeros
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quick sketch requests for folks on bluesky
characters belong to: @sunflowerwilds @supermair0 @lordbobart @czalserafino @mechanicalrot @machine-finch @othermario @someguyiguess23 @trapitorag @sevilai [also colethebug and tmantheman on bsky]
#funny that nearly everyone from bsky is also here on tumblr#i am right proud of myself for remembering nearly everyone's blog names and only needing to check a couple to make sure#flameshadowart#hollow knight#bug fables#dragon#bug people#anthro#othersocs#id in alt#ngl it was refreshing to have a small enough following that i could make a followers only request post and not feel overwhelmed#by how many people responded#grateful for the crew i have here on tumblr but offering free art for anyone who follows me and responds is a bit beyond my means these day
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Rose growing up constantly reading into people’s kind gestures to find some trace of malice behind them only to meet Kanaya who, in their first few interactions, hits her with malicious gestures that are built on kindness…oooooh I fear Hussie cooked with this one…
#rose my dear you are very capable of being loved#and this weird alien lady is going to prove it to you#i love how their initial dynamic was them entering a battle of wits to sort of like#determining whether the other was worthy of their friendship. whilst simultaneously trying to impress each other ofc#i am spamming like crazy tonight bcuz they make me INSANE#rosemary#rosekan#rose lalonde#kanaya maryam#for once if rose wants to read beyond the surface she has to confront the fact that somebody has kind intentions towards her#but it’s not too overwhelming bcuz it’s still drenched in sarcasm and ulterior motives to distract her from said kindness#thank you dave
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The HRT has killed a lot of my normal everyday experience of sexuality but fortunately it has revealed a second, much much weirder sexuality underneath.
#my stuff#i need to eat an emo boy out until he screams i need to take bites out of him i need#i need to press my forehead against theirs until they can hear the overwhelming tide of my thoughts of adoration for them#i need to sit in her lap and hold her head tight against my chest with so much love that the feeling never goes away#i need to twist and mutate and change in front of them into a form more suitable for my desires and have them look upon me with love and aw#i need them to wrap the tentacles of a god beyond our realm around my throat and hug me tight and beg i be theirs forever#i want to touch them with a thousand gentle hands and whisper kind things with a thousand voices#I want mutant eyes that need not blink so i never need to look away#i am an ancient and bound angel and I WANT OUT!!!!!
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3/4 of the expected surgery cost in a single afternoon, what the hell man lol
i will never feel normal ever again, words truly cannot express
#like i am going through some very complicated emotions rn on top of everything but i just really#this is truly beyond my comprehension#and everyone whose name I don't recognize should confess your crimes so i can thank you properly#also fear not the cat is definitely not going anywhere now#and at this point it looks like unless the bill i get from the mechanic is like the absolute worst possible case#the ducks should be staying too#i am overwhelmed by the kindness of friends and even strangers#i will never emotionally recover djsjjsdj
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Sometimes I resent that I’m getting better lol
#I’m not gonna bother to explain this#beyond it’s upsetting how no one wanted to help me do so#and told me I had to do it on my own#and that felt so unbelievably cruel and unfair and impossible#that I was expected to do that with no support and drag myself by my nails to do it#except I am managing it#but it still just feels cruel that I had to#and it’s reinforcing in my brain that I didn’t deserve help or love until I fixed myself#and . yeah. I know that’s stupid but . yk.#and I’m overwhelming glad and proud that I’ve been able to do so much better recently#but there is a part of me that feels bitter and sad and like everyone was right to leave me#idk this is stupid I feel stupid but I also feel upset over this even though I know it’s dumb and counter productive#kaz rambles
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this is not directed at anyone + is simply something i've come to terms with since more and more alicent blogs have popped up and are floating around, but i'm really not very duplicate friendly. it's been a me-issue for as long as i've been in the rpc, but i typically am just very uncomfortable following solo blogs for characters that i myself also write, mostly because i am wildly insecure about my own abilities lol
#i'm slightly more comfortable following multis that have them as a muse or that add them as a muse#but really only very slightly lol. i tend to skip over posts pertaining to the muse#i can't explain it beyond just overwhelming insecurity and that sounds so pathetic and lame I'M SORRY PALS I LOVE U ALL#AND I'M SO GLAD WHENEVER I FIND SOMEONE WHO ALSO LOVES THE CHARACTERS THAT I LOVE but i am unable my brain renders me useless
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wanna say this somewhere but dont wanna annoy my friends on twt
#i feel like it can be assumed that hamish's character is going to look into the eyes of the character in nickel boys at some point#which im sure is going to be harrowing yes but also. am i crazy or do directors really love for hamish to look directly into the lens#i feel like everything ive watched with him in it so far has him doing it at least once except maybe in old christine#although with so many eps i wouldnt be surprised if he did at least once#i know for sure he does it in tmys and legion#did he do it in 10 Things too? im too weakhearted to go back to find out#i havent actually seen beyond that bc again i am weakhearted and i have to be mentally prepared to see the man in a new role#it can be very overwhelming if im not careful lol. fixations are a bitch!!!#like maybe im just sensitive to eye contact! both in general and with him specifically even moreso#his eyes remind me a lot of my partner's...... it has that familiar quality but then its a man i dont actually know and it freaks me out!!#idk maybe i should make an effort to collect clips of him looking into the camera so i can make a spreadsheet about it LOL i joke. but also
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I finally decided to start my marvel cinematic universe journey (in order of release, ya girl has got a long way to go) and I just finished Thor and omg Loki is such a disastrous little brat I’m in love with him
#listen I know I’m beyond late af okay#there are so many movies and tv shows I am overwhelmed#iron man 1&2 were great#the Incredible Hulk was just Liv Tyler saying ‘Bruce’ for almost 2 hours#it was okay#Thor was great#not bnha
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i despise how emotional i am
#i shld get offline but i only get on here to vent and not do something even worse sp#so*#idfk what to do. i am just so so so so so so so so beyond overwhelmed#SO incredibly beyond overwhelmed i cannot explain iy#and it’s been this way for a decade. god over a decade. 13 years#im trying sofucking hard i swear im trying
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hey does anyone know how we’re supposed to survive it all. asking for a friend
#she speaks#oh gang we’re really in it now#i don’t think i’ve ever felt this bad this deeply in my whole life lol#the burnout just keeps accumulating past any point i thought it could reach#and i can’t even pretend at work anymore#i’m so tired and these kids are so infuriating and it builds and builds every time they do something shitty#and i love them and it’s not their fault they’re just kids and they’re tired and it’s almost summer#but god i can’t fucking do it anymore#how exactly am i supposed to survive the next two weeks#the class i’m taking is too confusing and too fast paced#and i didn’t buy the textbook bc it’s 200 fucking dollars#and our apartment is always a mess#and i can’t keep up with friendships and feel like i’m constantly letting them down#and there’s nothing i can do to fix any of it#until the school year is over#bc at this point it takes everything i have just to get up and go to work in the mornings#but then i still have to somehow find energy to do other stuff too. and like actually teach.#i have to grade and do report cards and return materials and clean up my classroom#i need to complete a checklist the size of a novel before i leave for the summer#i need to keep the kids engaged but none of us want to be here#i need to start organizing to make next year easier#i need to fill out paperwork and spreadsheets and update my password and find time to feed myself and grade more papers and#vacuum the floors and scoop litter and clean up clutter and do dishes and wipe down counters#and i haven’t been able to fucking do any of it in months and left so many chores to my poor partner who’s also going through it#bc i have nothing left and i don’t know what to do!! i want to scream every minute of every day bc i’m so beyond overwhelmed the moment#i wake up in the morning but i don’t have time for a meltdown so i just keep going!!#i wish i had better words to explain how bad it’s gotten but the brain fog has gotten so so bad#i can barely think i can’t make decisions my memory and recall have gotten so much worse#i take my anxiety meds so often that they’ve stopped working#and yet i still worry that i’m making it up and being dramatic. anyway sorry about all this lol
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Seeing a decent response on my magsev Jon art is warming my heart you have no idea how happy this makes me that even before release people are hyped?? AHH
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#bday party tomorrowwwwwww#biggest party ive ever organised#i invited so many fucking people#i am...... SO NERVOUS NOW WHY#BODY YOU SUCK#anyway im beyond excited obviously so these nerves are just. me being impatient#and annoying and overwhelmed#going to sleep a lot tonight just to arrive to tomorrow evening quicker
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*puts "chill vibes" in my list of skills on my resumé*
#i've gotten so many compliments this past week about how calm i am all the time it's so funny#half the time i'm oblivious#the other half i'm just intensely focused on finishing what i need to do#not to say that i'm immune to stress bc i'm not lol#i just don't externalize it unless i'm beyond overwhelmed#''it is what it is'' until i die or something like that#shy speaks
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#so i just finished s1ep2 of the bear (i don't really get it so far but ok)#and there's this scene where the main character calls up his sister and tells her about the mental shit that has been happening with him uk#and like even though this feeling is always there but lile i can't help but feel like my life would have been so much better with a sibling?#like one id have good relationships with uk???#and ik ik found family and forming meaningful relationships outside is an option but like in this capitalistic individualist society? is it?#anyways that's not the point it's that there's always stuff no body in the world would get except people who grow up with you innit?#be it school or hometowns or families and it would have been nice to have someone help me not feel this complete overwhelmness all the time#and without me feeling like im exaggerating or thinking that the person would judge me or having to keep telling everything repeatedly#but then i think would that even matter when I am the one who's the problem and like can't work to form that connection with anyone?????#like i for the life of me cannot share anything beyond the surface level or without making a joke out of it#and it seems funny but i trivialise so much of the fucking shit that happens so obviously no one takes it seriously not their fault right?#and like how fair to my friends that i literally almost always been superficial and lowkey untrue with them in exchange for their honesty???#at this point i feel like i don't even know what i truly feel or truly am because whenever i look back at my past self im like wtf#idk most of the times it just feels like being 'stuck' in a glass container and me not 'letting' anyone in if that makes sense?#ik im being very annoying about it but im just so tierd of feeling like this its been a decade & its way too long to constantly feeling dead#and im so fucking stubborn in my sadness that i won't even go get help after years of crying about wanting it & now finally having resources#it's like this mental block which i can't seem to remove and i feel like even if i do get help ill still be untrue so what's the point!???#yeahhhhh anyways i'll delete this later i don't journal so tumblr will have to make do#vi.txt
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