#I don’t even play it I just love watching streamers play it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

izzyy-stuff · 3 months ago

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𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 - 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍

IN WHICH after looking for an apartment for months you finally find a nice place, but it's too big and expensive for you to live alone in it so you ask her two best friends, hoping they could help you out.

pairing– childhood bsf!Choi Soobin x fem!reader

featuring– original characters, members of txt

genre– Fluff, Smut

contains– foreigner!reader, jealous!soobin, childhood friends to lovers, best friends to lovers, roommates au, streamer!soobin, streamer!beomgyu, uni romance, sunshine!reader, she has a lively personality, Soobin is in love, like really desperately so, Soobin has a license and a car, one sided pining, Soogyu shipped as a joke, jujutsu kaisen mentioned

smut warnings– inexperienced!Soobin, dry humping, mutual masturbation, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex + creampie, breast play, missionary, oral (f. receiving)

word count– 20k

playlist

↪ izzy speaks... I'm finally getting to my old ideas!! I was so excited to write this (even though I struggled a bit as I actually don't play many games myself) and I'm really happy with how it turned out! I hope you'll enjoy it just as much <3

only lightly proofread!

The first memory of Soobin you have is from when you were ten, freshly moved into town, with no idea how to say anything but a short and simple introduction. You were in Korea for a month, still trying to figure out the alphabet and all the school paperwork in your hands written in what seemed like hieroglyphics as you walked through the school hallway, trying to find your way around.

“I give up,” you groan, your hands falling back to your sides as you look around, hoping for any clue on where the principal’s office might be. You debate calling your dad, asking him to pick you up and begging him in the car to turn down his promotion after all and take you back home because it’s hell here, but you stop yourself.

Instead, you take a few eager steps forward, determined to reach the office no matter what. But to your luck, you find yourself on the other side of the school, blinking quickly as you try to make sense of the situation unfolding in front of you. Three guys hovering over another boy who keeps his eyes on the textbook in front of him, trying to make it look like he isn’t intimidated by them. But you notice the slight flinch of his arm when one of them raises his voice.

You frown, trying to find the right words. Whatever you could say, you weren’t sure if they would understand you. You knew there wasn’t a high chance of them speaking English, and you definitely didn’t know how to tell them to get lost in their language.

You’re not sure how much time passes when you just stand there, trying to figure something out but eventually, they notice you. You watch them exchange some words that sound like curses, completely ignoring your presence as they press him further, demanding something from the poor boy in the chair.

“Leave him–” Before you can finish your sentence, a strong voice interrupts you, the Korean echoing through the empty classroom. It makes them all back up without hesitation and you turn around as well to see what was so scary behind you. Your eyes meet with an older man who you can only assume is one of the teachers. He asks you something but you just shake your head, trying to explain that you don’t understand him. It’s useless because before you can even open your mouth, his attention redirects to the boys behind you, talking to them instead.

After a short moment, his eyes travel back to you, tilting his head slightly as he observes you. “You’re the new foreign student?” Your eyes widen at his English, immediately nodding. You introduce yourself, asking him about the principal’s office. “Yeah, you’re all going to the principal’s office,” he mumbles, yelling at the boys again. You blink a few times, watching them pass by and grumble something under their breath as they follow the teacher outside.

The boy from the chair walks last, his head down and his bag swinging on his shoulder. He looks around your age, even though his height suggests otherwise. You quickly catch up to him, asking if he’s okay. He glances at you, scanning your features before nodding. You smile, offering him your hand with a memorized introduction. “Soobin,” he hesitates before grabbing your hand, frowning a bit as you shake it. He doesn’t say anything else and you don’t either, just quietly walking towards the principal’s office, preparing to get questioned about what had happened.

You quickly learnt the names of the three guys in your first week, everyone telling you to stay away from them when they heard about the incident you walked in on. Apparently, ‘Hyunwoo and his dogs’ as the kids liked to call them, were quite famous for their behaviour. From drawing on all the possible tables in school to more violent rumors, one you might have saved Soobin from that day.

You haven’t seen him since, but you found other friends. A girl that you were seated beside (Thank you, seating chart, you say to this day) and her older sister Jisoo, who you later found out was in the same class as Soobin. She helped you understand a lot of materials and kindly explained everything she could within her English skills, while Jisoo took you under her wing in the social sense, telling you everything about everyone and making sure you knew who to avoid interacting with. You were grateful to both of them, you still are to this day.

The second time you met Soobin was almost six months later in the hallway when you were rushing to your next class and accidentally bumped into an upperclassman. You mumbled an apology and tried to push past but it was already too late.

“Watch where you’re going,” Taeyang, one of Hyunwoo’s ‘dogs’ pushes you, and before you can stop the fight from happening, a group of kids creates a circle around you, some of them cheering and some whispering about what is happening. You sigh, running your hand through your hair.

“Foreigner is fighting with Taeyang in the hall right now!”

Soobin immediately looks up from his textbook, eyes widened as he watches everyone in the class stand up and rush outside to see the situation for themselves. “Oh god,” Jisoo mumbles from behind him, quickly pushing through others to get there first. He stays seated for a while, waiting for everyone to leave before standing up and making his way out.

The argument is already at its peak when he arrives, trying to make his way through the crowd of people.

“Let’s go,” Jisoo tries to tug at the hem of your shirt. “Stay out of it, Yoon,” Taeyang warns her immediately, taking a step forward. You swallow a lump in your throat as you look up at him, ready to take whatever is coming. “This little bitch thinks she can push me and then tell me to watch where I’m going.”

“That’s enough.” You jerk your head to the side when you hear the voice, your brows furrowing in confusion as you watch Soobin place his hand on Taeyang’s shoulder and push him back. “You’re crossing the line. Leave.” It’s obvious from the look in his eyes that he wants to argue, fight maybe even, but with the way Soobin towers over him and stares him down, it leaves him no other choice but to back up.

“You think you can scare me?”

“I don’t care if you’re scared. What I care about is that you’re going too far. Especially since you’re in the wrong,” he states calmly, casually moving to stand between him and you, covering both you and Jisoo from Taeyang’s sight completely. You blink a few times, confusedly glancing between your friend and the giant in front of you.

“Soobin doesn’t do fights,” Jisoo leans in to whisper into your ear. “No matter if Yeonjun or Beomgyu are involved, he avoids these situations no matter what.”

“Whatever,” Taeyang mumbles after a moment of hesitation, pushing past the crowd to get away. You watch him confusedly, trying to figure out how. How could he start a whole fight with you just to run away the second another boy shows up?

“Are you okay?” Soobin’s soft voice takes you out of your thoughts, making you look at him again. “Yeah,” you nod. “Thank you, Soobin.”

After that day, it became somehow easier for you to find your way into his life. Joining him at lunch, going to his class during break to spend time with Jisoo but eventually just striking up a conversation with him instead. You just wanted to befriend him.

And you did.

Everything turned into a routine shortly after, from eating together and spending time with each other during breaks, to studying together and hanging out outside of school as well. You often accompanied him to pc cafe’s and laughed as he argued with his best friend over who was better, and in return, he always paid for your drink. It was comfortable with Soobin, and you soon started calling him your best friend.

For Soobin, it was the same. It was comfortable hanging out with you. He could be himself without having to worry about what you thought of him. He watched you get along with his friends, immediately blending in, he admired you as you told him about your day when he walked you home—also a routine you started after a few months when you realized you live in the same direction—and he was there for you every time. No matter how bizarre your problem was, he was there, and he made sure you understood that he wasn’t going anywhere.

But over time, his affection towards you started turning into something more. He started noticing the little things you did, like scratching your nose when you tried to focus on something really hard, or how you always doodled in the corner of your notebook when you were zoning out. He tried not to pay attention to those things at first and ignore the weird feeling in his stomach every time he talked to you, but he eventually realized that wasn’t an option.

So, he let his feelings get the best of him. He’s never done anything about them, but they were there and he knew about them.

Jisoo caught onto them as well, he believes. She never said anything to him about it or you as far as he knew but it was obvious from the way she looked at him whenever he was around you. Still, he acted as if he couldn’t see it, deciding it would be for the best to just ignore whatever he was feeling so he wouldn’t ruin your friendship.

“Soobin!” The fifteen year old turned around immediately at the familiar voice, his eyes wide with question as you ran into his class, the biggest grin on your face. “Yes?”

You hold up a piece of paper in front of him, beaming like the ray of sunshine he knows you as. “Look!”

“I told you you’d do great,” he smiles back, scanning the A- on top of the page written in red ink with his eyes. “It’s only thanks to you! God, I could kiss you right now!” You exclaim, almost tearing the paper in half from excitement.

Please do. His eyes soften but he doesn’t say anything, biting back the words that hang on the tip of his tongue. He can’t. No matter how much his heart wants to, he knows better than to be reckless and admit his feelings in the middle of the classroom just because you said something you don’t even mean.

His hand moves up on its own, coming to cup your face. But when he realizes what he’s doing, he quickly pats your head instead. That was the first and last time he was close to confessing or taking a step forward he could never take back again. He couldn’t. The more he watched your smile, the more he knew he had to hold back his feelings no matter what.

“Let’s go, you should get to your next class,” he mumbles instead, averting his eyes from you. Get a grip.

You blink at him through your lashes but nod. He’s right. You do need to get to your next class. You just wanted to show him your accomplishment first. After all, he was the one who sat with you and explained all the material to you for hours. “I’ll see you later then,” you smile, hiding the test result back into your bag. “Our place?”

“Yeah,” he nods, something you can’t quite name flickering in his eyes.

The soft ringtone echoes through the room, the flash making Soobin glance to the side. “Fuck,” he mumbles, focusing on his monitor again. “I need to take this, you got it for a second?”

“Yeah, go ahead,” his best friend, Beomgyu, answers, and Soobin immediately mutes himself, giving an apologetic look into the camera for his watchers. He notices a few comments asking who is calling him and what kind of call he is receiving but he doesn’t answer any of them, picking up his phone and turning off his webcam.

“Soobie!” You exclaim and his lips immediately curve into a smile. “Yeah?” He asks, relaxing in his gaming chair. “I found the perfect apartment!” You explain and his eyes immediately widen in excitement as well. You’ve been looking for weeks now but everything was always either too pricey or far from university. “Yeah?” He’s pretty sure you can hear the smile in his voice but he doesn’t care. “Is it close?”

“Super close! I could even skate to school if I wanted to.”

“You? Skate?” He snorts. “Like on a skateboard?” Just the idea of seeing you trying to balance a skateboard was hilarious to him. He knew that if you put your mind to it you could do it, but until then, he was free to imagine you falling over and over again.

“I could learn from Ryan,” you roll your eyes. Right. There he was again. Soobin’s smile falters for just a second, his mind drifting to the “absolute love of your life” as you like to call him. You knew him for just a little over a year and somehow, he managed to become one of your best friends. Which, if he was honest, was pissing him off.

It felt as if you were incapable of leaving him out of conversations and even though he knew he had no right to feel this way, he was jealous.

“Sure you could. Call me when you do so I can come along and see you fall over and over again.” And so I could make sure he doesn’t try anything.

“As much as I love you, you’re such a brat sometimes,” you shake your head at him, a quiet laugh escaping your lips. “You got that from Beomgyu.”

“Take that back,” he fake gasps, making you laugh. There is a smile on his face again right away, his eyes softening when he listens to your laugh. “Anyway, that’s not why I called. I was thinking…maybe, we could come look at the apartment together again tomorrow. It has three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It’s definitely too big for me to live there alone.”

“Are you suggesting I move in with you?” Soobin blinks a few times, trying to figure out if this is a joke or one of his many dreams coming true. There was no way, right? “And finally get to escape Beomgyu’s nasty room? Please.” You laugh on the other side of the phone, again.

“He probably wouldn’t like hearing that.”

“Good thing he is in his room with headphones and I’m muted then.”

“Wait, shit, am I interrupting your stream?” Your eyes widen immediately, apologies slipping from your lips. “It’s fine,” he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. But…you’re serious, right? This isn’t one of your jokes?”

“I swear on my family that I seriously want to move in with you,” you assure him. Soobin could feel his smile growing even wider, looking at his computer screen to make sure he was still muted and his webcam was off. He wasn’t sure how he would explain his smile if he weren’t. He must have looked stupid smiling like a ray of sunshine just because his best friend was calling.

“Isn’t it still too big though? Don’t you want to look for something smaller?”

“I’m actually planning on calling Ryan right after we hang up. He’s been looking for a place as well so we could kill two birds with one stone. I wanted to ask you first, though.”

“Ryan?” Seriously? What was with his luck lately? “None of your girlfriends?”

“I do not want to be the reason you start hooking up with Jisoo or any other of my friends for that matter. So no, none of my girlfriends,” you roll your eyes, chuckling. You think it’s a joke, it was meant to sound like that, but before you can add to it, he interrupts you. “I don’t want to hook up with any of your friends,” he grumbles, taking it more seriously than he should. You frown, “Okay? Sorry, I didn’t think you would actually hook up with my friends.”

Soobin sighs, shaking his head. He wasn’t sure what’s gotten into him all of a sudden. “No, I’m sorry. So, tomorrow you said? What time?”

“Two pm! I remember your schedule correctly, right? You don’t have a lesson then, do you?”

“Nope, two pm is great,” he nods slightly, looking at the chat under his stream. They were currently laughing at something Beomgyu did but he wasn’t sure what it was. “I should get back, looks like Beomgyu did something stupid.”

“Yeah, of course. Have fun, I’ll join in a bit,” you smile, saying your goodbyes before hanging up. Soobin rests his head against his chair as he places his phone down again, groaning quietly as he hides his face in his hands. He wasn’t sure if this little arrangement you had in mind would work but he wasn’t going to miss out on his chance just because of some one-sided beef he has with Ryan. That would just be stupid.

So the next day, he finds himself standing in front of the address you provided him at 1:50, nervously looking around and trying to find you with his eyes. Instead, his eyes fall on a boy, his fluffy hair falling in front of his eyes. “Hey,” he calls at Soobin, making him force a smile as he waves at him awkwardly. “You got here earlierly.”

“Yeah,” Soobin shrugs, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Didn’t want to make a bad impression before even moving in.” Ryan chuckles, nodding, “Didn’t expect any less from you.” Soobin frowns, trying to figure out what that even means. He doesn’t say anything else though, simply joining him by his side.

Ryan is around Soobin’s height, slightly taller actually. His hair is black, catching small waves at the ends, and his eyes are a lighter shade of brown than Soobin’s. He’s in all black, like every time he’s met him, comfortable in his loose shirt and jeans. Every time they stand beside each other, Soobin wonders if that’s what you’re into. He looks down on his outfit, a white button-up with light blue jeans, a completely different aesthetic from Ryan’s.

Soobin shakes his head, snapping out of his thoughts. He wasn’t even sure what he was worried about. Sure, Ryan might play the guitar, make music, skate, possess English skills that he could only dream about and be a foreigner (which was also the reason you started talking to him in the first place), but that didn’t mean he was going to steal you from him, did it?

It doesn’t take much longer for you to arrive as well, greeting both boys with a hug. Soobin’s hands wrap around your waist, carefully inhaling the soft scent of your hair as he lingers in the hug for a little longer than he should. You giggle as you step back, smiling at them warmly. “Should we then?”

You follow the owner around the empty house, pointing at certain areas and chatting about how you could decorate it and where to put what furniture. Both guys just keep nodding to you, figuring it was for the best to just have your moment. You don’t mind.

“Okay, I’ll let you look around on your own. Just shut the door when you leave and send me a text,” she squeezes your arm lightly with a warm smile and you nod immediately. She’s sweet and has been treating you with nothing but respect and kindness since she laid her eyes on you so it was easy to return the favor to her.

“I will. Have fun on your date,” you smile, prompting the guys to say their goodbyes as you watch her leave. “You two have gotten close,” Ryan comments with a snort, making you roll your eyes. “Yeah well, I want to live here so it’s normal to have a good relationship with the owner, don’t you think?” He shakes his head at you but doesn’t say anything else.

“Well then, what do you think?” You look between the two boys, hopeful. Soobin smiles at you immediately, unable to hold back when he sees the spark in your eyes. “It’s really pretty,” he mumbles, his eyes soft. You beam right away and it makes him even less sure if he was talking about the apartment or you. “Yeah, you weren’t lying when you said it was, and I quote: ‘the only and greatest apartment to ever exist.’” Ryan laughs. You resist the urge to kick him in the leg and decide to turn to Soobin instead.

“I’ve heard the connection is great and the internet doesn’t crash or anything, so you could stream and play games without any problem. And! We could set your console in the living room and play together on the couch, that’d be fun, right?”

Soobin nods, “Yeah, that sounds great.”

“So you guys are happy? We can talk about the arrangement and settle everything? Please say yes, I’m going insane over here.” Both boys chuckle and nod, making you jump up immediately. “Okay, in that case what do you think about…”

The three of you walk around the apartment once again, deciding where to have the kitchen corner, which bathroom will be yours and which the boys, and then also assigning the bedrooms. Ryan immediately took dips on the smallest one, saying something about it being cozy and just spacious enough for him and his music, which left you and Soobin.

“It’s yours,” he says calmly as you stop in the largest room. You glance up at him, shaking your head. “No, no, you should have it. You need space for your computer and all, you should take the room. I’m fine with the other one,” you assure him but he doesn’t budge, trying to use the gentleman card and saying you should have the first pick as the female. Jokes on him, you immediately played around with his words and said you want to pick the slightly smaller one. He wanted to convince you to have it but before he could open his mouth again, you ran off.

“What is it?” Soobin blinks as he sees Ryan leaning on the wall beside him, watching them with a smirk on his face. He shakes his head, glancing towards where you ran off before looking back at Soobin. “Nothing,” he answers, walking off with a knowing smile. Soobin frowns, sighing before following you.

And just like that, after a little paperwork and preparation, you slowly start moving in, until the apartment is full of boxes, furniture, books, and laughter from all three of you. It doesn’t take long for you to ease into a comfortable rhythm, dividing chores and setting some ground rules to avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings or fights.

It all feels easy, honestly. You spend every morning in the kitchen together before leaving for school and then relax together again over dinner. It often ends up with all of you disappearing into your own rooms and studying or simply doing your own thing, but every once in a while, you stay longer, playing games on the TV with Soobin or watching a movie with Ryan. You always laugh loudly with them, and it makes you appreciate them a tiny bit more.

“This is the last time I let you pick a game,” Soobin mumbles, staring at his computer screen, headphones on and his stream on his other monitor. It’s been a good two hours and half of him and Beomgyu playing roblox games and every time it was Gyu’s turn to pick what they were going to play, he came with some terrible, cringe one, full of thirteen year olds telling them both they were fucking their moms. It was interesting, for sure, to see what was going through the heads of kids these days.

“Not my fault you don’t know how to have fun.” Soobin rolls his eyes, looking over at the chat. Half of them were sending a laughing emote, while the other half encouraged Soobin to play more, having fun while watching him suffer. “Let’s play something normal, please.”

“Chat, this is him just saying he wants to play doors. Again,” Beomgyu scoffed. “Fine, we can play but if you die at the beginning again I swear I will drive to your apartment and choke you to death.”

“Warning received,” Soobin snorts. “Let’s finally get through level 100, it’s embarrassing at this point.” Beomgyu couldn’t argue with that. It wasn’t the first roblox stream they did together and somehow, they always ended up playing at least a few rounds of the game but never made it past level 80. Either Soobin died too soon by the stupidest death possible, or he lost the run at level fifty. Either way, Beomgyu always ended up alive alone, with little to no chances.

The game started and like always, it took them more than way too many tries to have them both alive by the time they reached level seventy, both hiding in their own closets as Soobin swore he saw the light flicker. Beomgyu was skeptical about believing him at first but as the closet shakes and a dark shadow runs in front of him, he sighs in relief.

“Okay, let’s just stay alive for a bit longer,” Gyu comments, running to a door with number seventy one. It’s just a few doors later that Beomgyu dies on accident, leaving Soobin alone. There’s a loud curse that leaves his lips and it causes you to peek into his room. Soobin notices you in the corner of the stream recording and pushes his headphones off while keeping his eyes on the game as he gets through another door. “Sorry, am I being too loud?”

“No, it’s fine,” you shake your head, smiling awkwardly as you come closer. It’s not the first time you’ve appeared in one of his videos but it still feels embarrassing. You wouldn’t say you’re exactly fit for the camera. “What are you playing?” You ask, answering yourself when your eyes land on the screen. “Hey, Beom,” you lean even closer so you reach Soobin’s microphone, giggling slightly.

Soobin watches you, really hoping no one is about to kill him because he can’t focus on anything other than your figure beside him. He is in so much trouble.

Your name leaves Beomgyu’s lips like a prayer, almost begging you to take over and push through the levels which has the chat laughing on the side. You look at your best friend to see if Gyu is exaggerating or if he really needs help. He only gives you a shy smile, his eyes soft as he watches you. “Alright, get up. You’re getting benched,” you laugh as he stands up from his chair and you sit down instead, greeting the chat warmly before focusing solely on the game.

Soobin brings another chair to sit on, leaving it in the background as he watches, a part of him absolutely in love as you interact with his chat and push past the levels, the other part feeling angsty. You’re right here, making him feel like the luckiest boy on the planet but at the same time, you’re as far as you can be.

His cheeks grow hotter as he notices a few of the watchers commenting how cute you two look together and some of the new fans asking if you’re his girlfriend. He doesn’t answer any of them but they sit in the back of his mind, thinking about them, about you. You don’t seem to pay them any attention but he wonders what you think of them, of the thought of you and him together.

Somehow, in the blink of an eye, you manage to pass level one hundred and Soobin snaps out of his thoughts as your loud cheer echoes through the room. You turn to face him immediately, excitement written all over your face and he gives you one of his proud smiles, wishing to do nothing else but wrap his arms around you and never let go.

“Okay you can die now, I want to play something else,” Beomgyu says, making you turn again which causes Soobin’s face to fall for a brief second. “I should go. I can’t steal Soobin’s job entirely,” you laugh, the sound sending a wave through Soobin’s body. Yeah, he was fucked.

You really do leave shortly after and Soobin ignores all the comments asking about you, playing for another hour before he ends the stream, sighing loudly as he leans back in his chair.

“You should work on your expressions,” Beomgyu comments, the sound of a drawer opening and then closing again heard in the background of their call. “What are you talking about?” Soobin asks confusedly, frowning. “My chat has been asking me about you and her. Apparently it’s ‘super obvious’ with the way you look at her.”

“I don’t look at her anyhow,” he argues and a scoff leaves Gyu’s lips. “Say that to the fans and editors because I’ve seen you, it is super obvious. I want to tell you you have nothing to worry about, I really do, but who knows what she’s going to think when people start shipping you together and pointing out you are head over heels for your best friend.”

“They already ship you and me together. They do think I’m head over heels for my best friend,” Soobin rolls his eyes, trying to make a joke out of the situation. Because Beomgyu was right, and he wasn’t sure how he would explain it to you if you believed them.

“Babe, I thought we were keeping it a secret,” Beomgyu gasps dramatically, making him laugh. “And also, we divorced the moment you decided to move out and live with your side chick and arch nemesis.”

“Okay, stop calling them that.”

“Why? Am I speaking lies? You literally told me and Yeonjun that you were going to die living with your biggest enemy and jerking off material in the same house.”

“I didn’t! Stop calling her those weird names, god,” he groans, closing his eyes from embarrassment. Beomgyu laughs on the other side of the phone. “Then do something so I can finally call her your girlfriend because this isn’t even funny anymore.”

“I’m hanging up,” Soobin proclaims, completely ignoring his best friend and the incredibly stupid topic of conversation. “Have a good night.”

“Coward!” Beomgyu accuses him with a laugh before saying his goodbye and hanging up. Soobin sighs, staying seated in his place for a while longer before finally deciding to stand up and leave his room to get something to eat.

He comes into the kitchen right when you’re in the middle of plating a pizza on three plates, making him raise his eyebrow as he comes closer. “I didn’t know you brought pizza.” You look up at him and smile as you hand him his portion. “Not me. Ryan did. His date bought it apparently,” you wiggle your eyebrow teasingly. Soobin blinks quickly to hide the surprise on his face, holding onto the plate with his two pieces. “I didn’t know he was seeing someone.”

“It’s a secret, act like you don’t know or else he’s going to kill me. He said it’s top secret information but who would I be to keep anything from my favorite best friend?” You lean closer to him, whispering with a soft giggle. You pull back and smirk, “don’t say that to anyone either, though. I can’t have them know you are my number one.”

Soobin feels like he stops working for a second. Your perfume reaches his nose, already making him weak in the knees. And as if that wasn’t enough you keep saying things that mess with his head. Things that definitely aren’t good for his mental health. He isn’t a psychiatrist but he is sure that if he attended therapy the first thing they’d tell him would be to stop thinking about you like you’re his soulmate and distance himself.

“Also, Ryan said he’s going to be out tomorrow night so we’ll have dinner without him.” Soobin hesitates, taking a bite of his food as he watches you. “Do you want to go out then?” He asks, a little more hopeful than he should be. “We can get something to eat and do something fun.”

“That sounds great,” you beam immediately, grinning widely as you pick up the two plates from the counter. “Late night drive around with some maccies is what I’ve been craving.”

“Okay, then we have a plan,” he smiles and you walk off to Ryan’s room, letting him know you’re going to watch a movie together and that if he needs anything, he can just text you.

He doesn’t. Because all he can think about for the rest of the night is that Ryan is seeing someone who isn’t you. The day couldn’t get better.

“Come here,” you shake your head, making your best friend look up. Soobin blinks a few times but listens, closing the distance between you. You undo his tie, causing his eyes to widen. You don’t say anything, simply redoing it to make it look better. It’s been his thing, wearing button-ups with a tie every day and making it look casual but somehow, he still managed to mess up. It was kind of cute, honestly. “There,” you smile, taking a step back to take a proper look.

Soobin’s surprised face makes you chuckle. “Let’s take a picture, you look nice today,” you encourage, pushing him towards a body sized mirror in the hallway. He has to blink a few times before he takes out his phone but still doesn’t say anything, trying to calm himself down. This isn’t a date, he has to remind himself every time you look up at him with those sparkly eyes and make his heart race just a bit faster.

He wraps his arm around your waist and you lean closer to him, smiling into the mirror as he takes a picture of the two of you. You ask him to send it to you immediately after it’s done and he just nods, mumbling a quiet “will do,” before grabbing his car keys and stepping into his shoes.

You grab a jacket from the hanger, following Soobin out of the door as you rant about being hungry and how it took him forever to end his stream and dress up. He doesn’t argue with you because he knows you’re right. It’s already way past 10pm. He knows he is lucky he offered to buy otherwise you might actually choke him.

You sit in the passenger seat, scrolling through your playlist as you try to find something fitting the vibe while Soobin drives off, taking you to the closest McDonalds like you asked the day before. “Oh. My. God. This is it!” You exclaim and Soobin glances at you, raising an eyebrow curiously. When Home by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros starts playing on his car’s speaker and you show him the playlist you’ve made with him when you were in high school, his eyes soften.

“That was definitely one of my most played songs a few years back,” he mumbles, taking a turn to the right. “And it was your fault because you loved borrowing my phone for music.” You giggle, placing the phone down and looking out the window. The sun has long gotten down, now replaced with a night sky full of stars. It was quiet, the only sound interrupting your thoughts the song you put on and occasional cars in the other line.

Soobin only stops the car once he gets to the drive through, lowering the music so it’s barely audible. You don’t even get a chance to speak up before he is already ordering, making sure to get everything you could possibly want. You just watch him, admiring him from your place. It’s easy with him, comfortable, and every time you see him act so boyfriendable, you wonder why he doesn’t have a girl already. You know this is exactly what girls search for in guys, you aren’t an exception. After Jisoo pointed it out one time, you realized you always looked for a piece of your best friend in the guys you dated.

“Anything else?” He turns to you, the softest smile on his face and you just shake your head, your lips curling into the same stupid grin. “Okay, that’ll be all then,” he says happily, slowly driving the car forward to pick up the drinks. He puts a coke in the middle of the two of you before handing you a milkshake, placing his own beside the coke.

The happiness is obvious on your face as you get your hands on the food and Soobin drives off, trying to think of a spot to park the car so he could eat as well. “God, this is exactly what I meant when I said I want to have late night car dates with you back when we were little with no idea how cars work,” you take a bite, leaning into your seat. “This is so good.” That’s when an idea flickers in his head, turning the car around as soon as he can. “Remember when we used to hang out at the playground and you’d dream about staying there forever?”

“Oh my god! And then you’d tell me that’s not possible because I’d catch a cold and die alone because you wouldn’t stay there forever with me! I was so mad at you and cried to Jisoo about not wanting to die alone!” You laugh at the memory.

“I just wanted to make you go home where you’d be safe,” he proclaims, his eyes focused on the road. “But if it wouldn’t work and you’d want to stay there, I would have stayed with you forever,” he says casually, so simply that you don’t think anything of it because in reality, it’s just a few words. But he is anything but calm as he secretly glances at you in the rearview mirror, hoping to catch something in your expression. You giggle again, sharing the briefest smile with him before taking a sip of the coke.

He should feel disappointed or sad that his words do nothing to you. He should. If it was him, and you told him you would stay with him forever, he might as well drop to one knee and propose to you immediately. But you aren’t him. And even though he knows you don’t feel the same attraction to him like he does, he can’t seem to feel the sadness or anger. All he feels is happiness. Happiness that despite all that, he can still have you like this, beside him, laughing as you talk about childhood memories, looking equally as pleased as he is.

Your eyes widen when you notice him parking near the playground you were so obsessed with when you were younger. “It still stands,” you whisper, the sound so quiet you think he doesn’t even catch it. “They’ve made some changes throughout the years but yeah, still stands.” You turn to face him, your expression a mixture of happiness, gratefulness, but also vulnerability because of all the memories the playground holds. His eyes soften, if that was even possible anymore. “Let’s go?”

You settle on the top of the slide, your legs tangled together as you try to fit into the small space for kids. All the food is placed between you, and the only sounds filling Soobin’s ears are your giggles as you play with your food and tease him endlessly. He takes out his phone and you grin, posing with your milkshake. He laughs as well, putting the phone down beside him as he takes a handful of fries.

A comfortable silence settles over you, the street lamp casting a soft light over his face. He leans back, watching the sky as if he wanted to count every star possible.

“Do you ever wonder how we work out?” His eyes flicker back to you, his expression slightly confused. “What do you mean?”

“Just that…I know people used to think we were a weird duo. Remember when Yeonjun saw us hanging out for the first time and asked you if I didn’t black mail you into dealing with me?” You laugh quietly at the memory, taking another sip of your milkshake. “But then again, I guess you do keep similar types of people around you.”

“Did you just accidentally compare yourself to Beomgyu?”

You gasp, trying to sound offended. It doesn’t last long because you end up laughing again. It’s always easy to laugh with him. “I mean, I guess. I don’t know what I’m talking about, honestly. It’s probably the fact we’ve been friends for so long and I already know all your deepest darkest secrets so I can’t ask about that.”

“You mean like the fact you practically asked Taehyun to marry you the first time I introduced you?” He teases and your eyes widen as you slap his hand. “Come on! Don’t go revealing my secrets like it’s nothing! Plus, we were eleven and unlike your other friends, he was the only one treating me like a lady instead of your little punching bag!” You complain.

“Definitely not my fault Yeonjun and Beomgyu were immature little shits,” he laughs. “Yeah, well, they still are,” you huff even though you know it’s far from that. Yeonjun has turned into a gentleman who helps old people carry things when he sees them struggling without a second of hesitation, and Beomgyu has been nothing but respectful to every woman he’s met since you slapped him for making an inappropriate joke back when you were fourteen.

Soobin shrugs, unable to hide the smile on his face, “It’s good you’re always there to put them back in their place then.” You roll your eyes playfully, your eyes narrowing in mischief that doesn’t pass by unnoticed by your best friend. But before he can ask what you’re thinking about, you quickly untangle your legs and sit at the top of the slide, glancing at him over your shoulder. “First one on the swing wins.”

The night is filled with laughter and stupid jokes as you move around the playground. You get to the swing first, partly because you gave yourself an advantage, but mostly because he has no desire to win. He does get down as well though, and ends up lazily swinging you back and forth while you talk about how school is going and he tells you about today’s stream. It’s intimate, and anyone walking near would think you’re on a date, but the thought doesn’t even cross your mind for a brief second.

Soobin can’t say the same thing. Because with every brush of his hand on yours, every joke you crack, every memory, and every smile he gets from you, the more he has to remind himself that this is just a casually friendly hangout and he has no right to think of you in the way he does. If he allows himself to believe anything else it won’t go nicely for him. Because no matter how much he wishes to have you more than he already does, he knows it’s not possible.

“I think we work out because you’ve always just been you around me without being worried about what I’d think and I’ve always admired you, knowing I’d do anything for you just to keep you in my life.”

The words come out before Soobin can think them through. It’s raw, so vulnerable that he can’t bear looking you in the eyes afterwards, turning around and walking back to the slide to grab all the trash you left there. You blink a few times, smiling like a little kid as you watch him comfortably reach for everything when the memory of little Soobin flashes into your mind and you remember how much he struggled to reach it before. You’ve both surely grown a lot.

“We should get back, it’s late,” he mumbles, still avoiding looking you in the eyes. You don’t point it out even though you’re confused on why that is and follow him to his car, quickly dozing off as he drives off and Everyone Adores You (at least I do) by Matt Maltese from your high school playlist plays in the car.

You’re not sure how you got to bed last night but you don’t exactly care either. All you care about is that your makeup is wiped off and you can get ready without cursing at yourself for sleeping without doing your night routine.

You join Ryan in the kitchen with a warm greeting and he gives you an awkward smile, immediately making you narrow your eyes as you question what happened. Sure, he wasn’t exactly a morning person but that never stopped him from smiling for real when he saw you. He sighs, a sound so heavy and tired you know whatever he’s about to tell you isn’t going to be good.

You sit on the couch and talk about his date from last night, the English echoing through the apartment. It was always easier for the two of you to talk in English as you could express yourself better and get the emotions out right, especially if it was just the two of you and you didn’t need to worry about leaving anyone out of the conversation by them not being able to understand you. Normally, if you were having a conversation in English and Soobin joined you, you’d try to switch to Korean as quickly as possible, but this time it just didn’t feel right. So you let Ryan talk without pointing out the fact Soobin stood on the side, frowning as he tried to make sense of what he was saying.

“Who has a boyfriend?” He asks confusedly and when the Korean reaches Ryan’s ears, he switches as well. “It’s just–” he sighs again. “My date from last night. I found out good twenty minutes into the date because guess what, he was the fucking cook in the restaurant and I was just there to make him jealous.”

You feel sorry for him. This was the first time since he moved to the country that he was brave enough to go on a date with someone and this is how it turned out. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him into a tight hug, rubbing soft circles on the back of his neck instinctively. You don’t even realize you’re doing so but Soobin does, and as soon as he sees you like this with Ryan, something in him boils. No matter how many times he reminds himself he has no right to feel jealous, the emotion creeps up his spine before he can stop it.

“You can’t blame yourself for how things turned out. You couldn’t have known. Next time will be better. I can help you find–”

“I’m done with dating. Never was for me anyway,” he interrupts you, pulling back so you let him go and he can stand up. “If it was, I wouldn’t be this way.” His last words hit the hardest but before you can call after him and tell him he’s wrong, he locks himself in his room, leaving you frozen on the couch, feeling as bad for him as you can.

“I thought girls love musicians. He has a lot of fans, doesn’t he? Surely there is someone who would love him in a way he deserves,” Soobin comments as he prepares his breakfast, scanning your face for any signs that you might be looking to love him in that way. “It’s complicated,” you mumble as you join him, glancing at Ryan’s bedroom door. “I just wish he wouldn’t think so badly of himself.”

Ryan leaves the apartment as soon as he steps out of his room again to get to his morning lessons on time while you and Soobin watch him from the kitchen. You wish him good luck before he can leave and he smiles slightly but doesn’t say anything else, wanting to be left alone as soon as possible. You don’t blame him, honestly.

“Should we go as well?” Soobin asks, breaking the silence that’s taken over the apartment. “Yeah, I’m just going to run to the bathroom real quick,” you nod, doing as you said before leaving with Soobin by your side.

You notice a few girls chatting and giggling while watching you as soon as you step on campus but you don’t pay it much attention, convincing yourself you’re imagining it. It’s not until your third lesson that you share with Jisoo that you find out the looks weren’t just in your head.

“How could you not tell me?” She questions, offended, as she plops her bag onto the chair beside you. You blink confusedly, turning your head to face her. “Tell you what exactly?” You ask confusedly, watching her sit down. “That you’re dating?” She scans your face for an answer before her eyes widen. “Oh my god, you’re not dating!” She gasps, quickly searching for something on her phone. “I thought that you finally got together! God, I got totally fooled!”

She hands you her phone and your eyes land on Soobin’s new post. He posted last night, shortly after you made it back home. The first picture is of you and him in the hallway, the picture you made him take before going out. You swipe to look at more, your eyes scanning the photo of the food you had, all laid out on the top of the slide, your figure on the side. The next one is the one with a milkshake. It makes you smile. The last one is of the night sky, all pictures put together under one description: Healing night.

You bite back your smile, your ears catching red as you open the comments. There are girls calling you pretty, some people asking if this is a hard launch, a few asking where the pictures are from, but a heavy amount of the comments are just people saying how good you look together.

Your eyes widen and you give Jisoo her phone back, trying to figure out what the right words are. “You’re blushing,” she comments before you get the chance to tell her you’re not dating your best friend. “I’m not,” you argue and she eyes you up and down. “Hm,” she hums as if she just understood your whole. “Have you ever thought about Soobin in a romantic sense?”

“What? No. He’s my best friend,” you shake your head to refuse but for some reason, the thought flickers in your head. Being with him, going on dates similar to last night, having a partner that knows you like no one else, someone you trust with your life. It’d be nice to have someone who’s already so close to you become something even more. But it’s Soobin you’re thinking about, the same boy who watched you on every step of your childhood since you moved, the same boy who saw all your embarrassing moments and showed you that opposite gender friendships were possible.

It’s Soobin, the same boy who could never think what you’re thinking about right now, so why does your heart race a bit faster at the image of it?

“So? That’s not a disease, love,” she reminds you and a part of you questions if she just wants to hear you say you’re in love with your best friends. Unfortunately for her, the answer will be no. You’re not in love with him, even though you’re now stuck with the image of dating him in your head. “I never said it was. I simply never thought about him in that sense.”

“And are you now?”

“What?”

“Are you now thinking about him in that sense?”

You blink, opening your mouth to protest. No sound comes out and you end up closing it again, which leaves her with a knowing smirk. You scoff, opening your laptop instead as you try to focus on anything else.

Jisoo doesn’t bring it up anymore, obviously pleased with your answer, or the lack thereof, but that doesn’t mean it just disappears like you wish it would. Throughout the rest of the day, there are a few more girls who come up to you just to ask if you’re dating Soobin and each time, you tell them the same thing. “He’s just my friend, we went out because we live together and no one wanted to cook.”

Every time you say so, they give you a smirk or giggle in exchange before running off again and you know they don’t believe you. For all know there might be a rumor going around the school already that Soobin, the streamer half of this University watches in their free time, is dating you.

“No, I’m not dating Choi Soobin, the pictures you’ve seen weren’t from our date,” you sigh automatically when you hear someone clear their throat behind you to get your attention. Your eyes widen when you see Ryan, relief brushing over you. “God, you wouldn’t believe the day that I had.”

“I’ve heard,” he nods, walking beside you. “I talked to Jisoo earlier, she finds it all amusing.”

“Of course she does,” you scoff. “She’s been trying to get me to admit my feelings or something.” You tell him about your conversation, leaving out the fact that ever since you found out about it, you’ve been unable to focus on anything other than your best friend. And when you thought about it, you couldn’t even blame them for believing you were together with him.

“Why don’t you confront him about it?” You frown slightly, fixing your bag strap as it slides off your shoulder. “About what? It’s not like it’s his fault we look like a couple in those pictures.” Ryan shrugs. “Well, that’s true but you could ask him about it, find out what he thinks and all.”

“No, he’s going to think I’m weird for paying attention to things like that,” you whine, making him roll his eyes at you. “I know you, and I know you’re thinking about him so take a step forward and ask him if he’s thinking about it as well otherwise it’s never going to happen. He’s too big of a coward to say anything.”

“You don’t make any sense,” you mumble, taking out your keys and unlocking the door when you get to the apartment building. “You say that because apparently I’m the only one with eyes. Do you genuinely not see the way he looks at you?”

You stop midstep, hitting Ryan with your bag on accident as you turn to face him, blinking confusedly. “What?” He sighs, pushing the door open and taking a step inside when you don’t move. “Just focus on his eyes at dinner,” he says, walking off before you can ask anything else.

He knows it’s not his place to say anything but honestly, he’s had enough of Soobin’s longing glances you somehow never caught. And if there was the chance you would now look at him the same and he’d have to live watching the two of you pine after each other, he’d much rather just tell you about Soobin’s feelings instead of waiting for him to confess.

Sitting on your bed with a study sheet opened on your laptop is doing nothing to help you memorize the material and after a few minutes, you end up closing it and giving up. It’s unbelievable how much of an influence just one day can have on your whole thinking. You keep replaying the comments in your head along with Jisoo’s and Ryan’s words.

And then, before you can stop it, you think about how it’d be like if you did date Soobin. Your gaming leveled up with cuddles, kisses and confessions added to the mornings spent together, dates that leave people feeling jealous because of how great he is to you, the sleepless nights full of need replaced with his comfort, his fingers making you finish faster than your own–

You quickly shake your head to snap back, a heavy sigh leaving your lips. You were never supposed to think of him that way.

Making your way out of the room again and almost colliding with Soobin as he tries to go to the bathroom is not ideal since you can’t even look him in the eyes but you hope he doesn’t notice. You’re not ready to explain that you’re avoiding him now because, ever since people started thinking you were dating, you haven’t been able to stop fantasizing about him.

You apologize before running into the kitchen, your eyes screaming for help as soon as Ryan turns to you. He simply laughs and shakes his head, paying attention to the rice he is cooking again. “What? You’ve seen a ghost?”

“This is all your fault!” You complain. “You messed with my head. You and Jisoo both did.”

“Oh no, is this the part where you realize he is also a man and has a dick he can use?” Your cheeks turn red but thankfully you can stop before your imagination goes wild. “Shut up! He literally lives here!” You whisper yell at him, checking if he’s still in the bathroom and can’t hear you. “You didn’t deny it,” he points out immediately, turning off the heat.

“I hate you.”

“You love me,” he corrects with a smirk, making you roll your eyes. “I’m never speaking to him again and it’s your fault, just so you know.”

“Who aren’t you talking to?” Soobin’s voice makes you close your eyes in regret. “No one, doesn’t matter,” you brush it off, hoping he’ll leave it at that. To your luck, he walks closer to you instead and eyes you up and down. “Are you okay?” He asks, the worry in his voice hitting you. His eyes look broken as well, something deeper behind them. This all because of you? You swallow, smiling at him as you nod, assuring him it’s all good.

“The dinner–” you start but Ryan interrupts you by clearing his throat, giving you one stern look. “Is going to take a bit longer and Ryan said he’ll take care of it, so can we talk?” You ask even though every part of your body tells you to do the exact opposite and run away as far as you can from this conversation. Preferably pretend you never got yourself into this situation.

“Of course,” he nods, glancing at Ryan quickly as if to ask if anything was going on. He just gives him a reassuring smile and encourages for the two of you to leave.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay? What’s going on?”

“Let’s sit down,�� you say, shaking your head and following him to his bedroom. You make yourself comfortable on his bed while he sits down on his gaming chair, trying to read through you and see what you’re thinking. He stays silent, giving you all the time you need and simply watching you. That’s when you notice it, the look in his eyes Ryan mentioned. There’s something—something you can’t quite name, that makes you feel at home. You weren’t sure what love looked like but you could imagine it being pretty damn close to what you see in his eyes.

“The photos from last night are really pretty, I’m still waiting for you to send them over,” you start, carefully observing him. “Right, sorry, I completely forgot,” he apologizes, taking out his phone without any hesitation. Your own rings in your pocket and you assume it’s the pictures. “Thank you,” you mumble, playing with your fingers in your lap awkwardly. “No problem.”

“We should…do it again. I had fun. It reminded me of a lot of memories,” you keep your eyes down but you can still feel his gaze on you as he tries to read you. You’re sure he sees through you but you can’t bring yourself to actually ask what’s on your mind. “I’ve been listening to the playlist as well, it needs an update.”

He hums, his eyes never leaving yours. “The Shade, Rex Orange County.”

“What?”

“You should add that to our playlist,” he explains.

“What is it about?”

“Listen and see,” he smiles warmly and you roll your eyes in disbelief. The room gets quiet again and you bite the inside of your cheek so you won’t say something stupid. He shifts in his place, sighing. “If you tell me what’s bothering you it’ll be a lot easier for me to help.”

You hesitate before sighing as well. “Do you ever read comments under your posts?” You ask, watching his eyes widen. Yeah, he definitely knows what you’re talking about. “Sometimes, I guess,” he says, trying to sound calm. You hum. “The pictures from yesterday…” you trail off, rethinking your words. “A lot of people asked if we are together, and that we’d look good as a couple. Some people asked me about it today as well,” you admit.

“The fans get like that,” he mumbles, averting his eyes from you. “They keep trying to find anything about my personal life they can. You don’t need to pay much attention to it. After all, they ship me and Beomgyu as well,” he laughs awkwardly and you catch the slight discomfort in his voice. “It’s just what comes with the job.”

You listen to him, keeping quiet and taking in his words. Maybe he was right. It was just how fans get, what happens when you decide to put yourself out there for the world to judge, but if what you caught in his eyes was anywhere close to what you thought, you couldn’t just drop it.

“So you never thought about…us? Together?” You ask quietly, your heart skipping a beat when his eyes lock with yours again and you see the flicker of emotion behind them again. It definitely wasn’t just in your head. Something like an attraction was hiding in his eyes and you felt stupid for not noticing earlier.

Soobin doesn’t answer right away. You can see his throat bob as he swallows, and his fingers tighten slightly around the hem of his sleeve like he’s bracing himself. “I did,” he admits and for a second you feel like your heart stops beating. “But that’s just stupid, right? It’s nothing, doesn’t mean anything. The fans got into my head and I’m talking nonsense, forget it,” he blurts out so quickly you almost don’t understand anything.

“Soobin, calm down.” He looks at you, vulnerable, and you fight the urge to get up and swallow him in a breath-taking hug. “I’m not saying it’s…wrong, or stupid.”

“I’m sorry. Forget about it, really. I’m so, so, so sorry.” A part of you breaks when you see him like this, looking like he convinced himself thinking about you in that sense was wrong, that he wasn’t allowed to. It hurts you to see someone so important to you blame himself for something he doesn’t need to because of you.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” you assure him, slowly getting up from his bed and walking over to him. You kneel in front of him and hold his hands in yours so he keeps his eyes on you. “Maybe I wouldn’t mind if you did think about me that way,” you smile slightly, looking up at him through your lashes. “Maybe I’d like that.”

His hands squeeze yours without even realizing, his breath shaking as he comprehends your words. He doesn’t say anything, barely even blinks, out of fear that if he moves even just slightly, you’ll disappear and he realizes it’s all just a dream.

But you stay, holding his hands as if it’s the most normal thing in the world and there’s nothing to worry about. He exhales quietly, finally closing his eyes and allowing himself to feel. The warmth of your hands, your soft voice as you assure him you’re there and real, and the scent of you that he is convinced he can never get enough of.

“In that case, I think I’ve been in love with you since we were twelve.”

Dinner was quiet that night. Ryan tried to ask you how it went and if you’re with him now, but you just brushed him off, stealing glances and smiles from Soobin the whole evening. It was a bit awkward and new, but you didn’t mind. Just knowing you weren’t the only one thinking about it was enough for now.

You decided to watch a movie with Ryan when you were done eating and even though your attention was now on the movie options, you noticed Soobin’s glare before he disappeared back into his room without another word. It made you blink a few times, almost as if to see you weren’t imagining it. When you averted your eyes from the now closed door, Ryan didn’t forget to mention you were blushing.

And so, you spent the whole night thinking about what was going to happen now. Would anything really change? Honestly, you wanted it to. For some reason, after hearing your best friend has been in love with you for almost as long as you’ve known him, had a bigger impact on you than you thought it would. And after dreaming of holding his hand and kissing him the whole night, you wanted nothing more than to do so in the morning.

Soobin and Ryan are already in the kitchen when you wake up and make your way over, sharing a warm smile with them and a quiet “good morning.” Ryan answers you first, greeting you before running off to the bathroom, saying something about being late. Bullshit. Still, you let him do whatever he wants and walk closer to Soobin, your smile more cautious now as you try to see where the line lies.

Soobin looks at you the same, wary but happy. He leans against the kitchen counter, his eyes flickering to where Ryan just disappeared before landing back on you. You raise your eyebrow, stopping in front of him. You hold his hands carefully, searching for any sight of discomfort before you bring his hands to your waist, leaving them there. The emotion behind his eyes switches immediately, now way more calm and soft. “Good morning,” he greets you, squeezing your waist lightly to make sure it’s real.

“Slept well?” You ask, gently placing your hands on his biceps. “Yeah,” he nods, the nervousness in his voice obvious. You smile, stroking his arm in a reassuring motion. “What were you planning on getting for breakfast? I’m starving.” He quickly blinks before letting his hands fall back to his side when you switch conversation, making you shake your head. You don’t push him though, watching him as he moves around the kitchen to prepare one more toast for you.

You grab the plate from him with a “thank you,” when he’s done and jump up onto the counter, encouraging him to come closer to you. He listens, standing between your thighs. You put the plate beside you and cup his face, your breath shaking as your eyes flicker from his to his lips.

“You can touch me, Soob. It’s okay.” His Adam’s apple bobs and he holds your waist again, careful, like he’s afraid to break you. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” he mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper. “You won’t,” you assure him gently. “I’ve known you for so long there’s no way you could make me uncomfortable with some physical touch. Hug me, hold me,” you lean closer to him, lips brushing over his ear, “kiss me, ask me on dates, do whatever you want, baby.”

Soobin shivers under your touch, your words messing with his head more than they should. His breath hitches and his grip on your waist tightens to steady himself. The nickname rings in his ears and his neck turns pink, slowly raising his head to look at you. “Can you say it again?”

Your smile widens and you brush your thumb across his cheek. “Baby?” You tease him, watching his reactions. “Oh, god, who would have guessed you’d get this cute for me?”

He blushes, trying not to think much about your words. It was embarrassing. “You need to give me time to adjust. I’ve never…you know I haven’t been with anyone before.” Your eyes widen in realization, “because you were in love with me?”

He nods hesitantly. “I am. Present tense.” Your hands fall to his shoulders, punching him with your fist gently (it’s more like a caress) as your head drops to his shoulder as well, hiding your face from him. “You can’t do this, that’s not fair,” you mumble, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to get yourself to stop blushing.

Soobin turns his head slightly to look at you, his breathing uneven as he watches you from so up close. It’s a sight he thought he could only dream about. His hand moves from your waist to your lower back, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb. It’s partly to calm you down even though he thinks it’s not going to work, but mostly for himself. He needs to feel you under his hand, know that you’re real and this is now his reality. Because, god, does it feel like a dream.

You raise your head again, gazing into his eyes. You both hesitate and his hand stops mid movement as he looks at you. He gives you a small nod and you lean closer, pressing your lips against his gently. He kisses you back, even though you can feel how much he’s thinking it all through. You smile into the kiss and just that simple motion is enough to calm him down and allow himself to enjoy it, his lips soft against yours.

When he pulls back, he looks like you’ve just handed him the stars he thought he could never reach.

You leave the apartment first, rushing to get to your first lesson with the kiss still lingering in the back of your mind, the feeling of his lips against yours vivid. There’s a smile on your face when you get to class and it takes all your strength to make yourself focus on the new material instead of your best friend.

Jisoo notices the change as soon as she sees you. Obviously. She smirks as her eyes scan you, trying to figure out what it is that’s different. “You look overly happy,” she says and your grin widens. “I am,” you nod. “What’s the occasion?”

“I may or may not have kissed someone this morning,” you admit and her eyes widen immediately. “Oh my gosh!” She exclaims, grabbing your hand and pulling you closer so others won’t hear your conversation. “It’s Soobin, isn’t it? Please tell me it’s him.” You laugh, nodding, and she squeezes your hand in excitement. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this! I’ve been secretly cheering you two on ever since I saw how he looked at you when we were little.”

Your eyes widen. “Has everyone always seen it except for me?!” You whisper yell, questioning how you could be so blind for all those years. “Ryan pointed it out as well.”

“And that’s exactly why I always loved Ryan,” Jisoo giggles. “And? What else? I need to hear everything!” You chuckle, briefly looking around before turning back to her again and telling her about everything. From the way your mind went crazy after she asked you if you’ve ever thought about him in a romantic sense to this point, repeating how cute he is over and over again.

That’s when you realize the saying “speak of the devil and he shall appear” is very true. Because at the same time, your phone starts ringing, lighting up with Soobin’s contact info and making the flutter in your stomach return. Your eyes soften immediately and you give Jisoo one apologetic look before picking up.

“Yes?” You ask softly, already smiling.

“Hi,” his voice is soft even through the phone.

“What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, all good. You’re free for an hour at 12, right?” You blink and nod, for a second forgetting he can’t see you. “I do, I was planning on having lunch then.”

There’s a short pause but you don’t rush him, calmly waiting for his answer while listening to the faint rustle of movement on his end.

“Would it be weird if I asked to join you? Wait, no, I mean,” the slight panic in his voice makes you chuckle. He’s cute. “Can I take you out for lunch? Is what I wanted to ask,” he sighs, the relief obvious.

You bite your bottom lip to prevent yourself from smiling like an idiot, briefly glancing at Jisoo. She already has one of her warm smiles on, cheering you on from the side. “Of course you can,” you nod. “That would be great, actually.”

“Okay, yeah,” he says, voice softening, calm. “What about the restaurant near the library? Yeonjun said that one is pretty good, if you’re okay with that.”

“Let’s go there,” you agree. There’s another pause, this one comfortable. “Okay,” he repeats, a bit awkward. “I’ll meet you there then?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I’ll see you there.”

“You’re so sickening, it’s cute,” Jisoo shakes her head with a laugh. You roll your eyes at her but don’t argue. “I hope it works out for you, genuinely. Soobin is nice and we both know he’d go out of his way to take care of you.” You smile sheepishly, your cheeks turning pink. “Yeah, but I’m still worried to fuck it up,” you admit. “We are best friends, we’ve always been.”

“And that’s not going to change,” she assures you. “He’ll always be your best friend first, but if you’ll let him, I’m sure he’ll gladly take on the job of your boyfriend as well. You’re not going to ruin anything.”

You nod, taking in her words. She’s right, you know she is. Deep down you know that no matter what, there was nothing that could make you stop being friends with him, but you were scared nonetheless. You never hesitated when it came to relationships, believing that you were either meant to be or not and there was nothing you could do about it, but with Soobin, you didn’t want to risk the second option.

Jisoo seems to see right through you because she spends most of your lesson talking to you about how amazing Soobin is (as if you didn’t already know that) and how you were going to be even more inseparable as a couple, wishing you all the luck in the world. It seizes your worries, which you’re thankful to her for.

The restaurant is quiet to your surprise. You expected it to be messy during lunch hour but even though the place is full, it’s calm and cozy. Your eyes fall on your best friend as soon as you step inside, a smile creeping up your lips as you walk to the table for two. “Hi,” you greet him, taking a seat across from him. He smiles back at you, making your heart race faster. “Hey.”

“Did you already order something?” You ask, immediately regretting how awkward you sound. Was this how it was going to be with him from now on? “No. Waited for you,” he says, pretending to scan the menu. He doesn’t do too well because you catch his eyes on you, stealing glances as if you were still something he could only dream of.

“What is it?” You wonder, a smile spreading across your face. You feel like a fresh teen experiencing her first summer romance. Maybe that was what you and Soobin were supposed to be a long time ago—teenagers in love who no one believed would last but they pulled through anyway. You could imagine it. Sharing your first kiss with him, spending all those Christmases together as something more than just friends, going on a bunch of dates and thinking you could never be more in love.

“You’re pretty,” he says casually, watching as your cheeks turn pink under his words. “You don’t have to say things like that,” you shake your head even though you wish he would tell you a lot more. “I want to. I wanted to tell you so many times over the years but always held myself back. And now that I have the opportunity…I want to tell you as many times as I can.”

Yeah, Choi Soobin knew how to mess with your heart.

You feel hotter, knowing your ears must be red now as well. “You…” you swallow the rest of your sentence when your eyes lock with his, every word you’ve ever learnt disappearing from your brain. You were in trouble. You avert your eyes, ignoring the tingly feeling in your stomach and focusing on the menu on the table.

He doesn’t say anything else, his own heart playing games with him as silence settles over the two of you. He isn’t as secretive with his glances now but still tries to keep them low, not wanting to seem like a creep but unable to help himself. He watches you order, talk about an assignment for one of your classes and a new movie that just came out. He doesn’t hesitate asking you if you want to watch it with him tonight, and you don’t waver with your answer either, saying you’d love to do that.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize suddenly, making him raise his eyebrow in confusion as he sips on his coke. “What for?”

“Not seeing you sooner.” It hits like a dagger but he still shakes his head, setting the glass down. “That’s not something you can control.” You gaze down onto the table, rethinking your words. “I just… You’ve always been so good to me,” your eyes meet his and his heart shatters when he sees the regret and shame behind them. It wasn’t often that he’d see you be this vulnerable. Of course, there were moments in your life that were worse, and he was there for all of them, but knowing he was the reason for your feelings broke him more than rejection ever could.

“And I will continue being good to you,” he assures you before you can continue. “I can’t imagine the feeling of… why did you keep liking me? You’ve seen my worst, have been the target of my jokes and I’ve never even looked your way like that, it–”

“You’re smart, so incredibly smart you learned a new language when you were ten just because you wanted your dad to have the job he always wanted, despite the fact you missed your friends and hometown. You care about people and make them feel welcome around you, always doing your best to be nice to everyone unless they’ve done something. You’re confident, funny, talented, and absolutely beautiful,” he says without any hesitation, his words pure, full of sincerity, and it feels like he heals a part of you you didn’t know was broken. “But most importantly, you bring out the best of me. You make me come out of my shell, you help me when I’m lost, and you never for a second doubt me. I don’t think there’s a reason why I wouldn’t have fallen for you.”

Your grip tightens around your own glass of soda, his words ringing in your ears over and over again. You couldn’t recall a single time any of your exes would have said anything just remotely close to what he just did. He’s been there all along, so perfect and in love with you, and still, you managed to look through him.

His hand reaches for yours from across the table, giving it a gentle squeeze so you look up at him. When you do, there’s a smile on his face, the same one you’ve only seen him give you over the years—a smile meant just for you.

It’s the same smile that makes you realize the past isn’t what’s important right now. It’s the fact you’re here now, on a date with your best friend, finally seeing him. And you plan on making the most out of it.

Once you both finish eating, it’s only a matter of time before you leave. Soobin offers to pay for your meal and you let him, lacing your fingers with his as you step outside. You don’t need to say more, falling into a soft rhythm as you walk through campus hand in hand. It feels nice. And every little smile exchange makes you look forward to how this is going to continue.

“Come closer,” you urge, eyeing Soobin up and down as he sits down a full seat over on the couch. He turns his head to face you, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. Still, he listens, moving to sit right beside you, his arm draping around your shoulders when you lean to rest on his side. “What did I tell you? You don’t have to hold back,” you tilt your head slightly to look at him and he nods. “It’ll be better after a few days.”

It’s a quiet promise that makes you smile. You turn your attention back to the Tv as the first episode of jujutsu kaisen starts playing. After getting back home, you’ve all eaten dinner together and then Ryan disappeared off to his room with his nose basically pressed to his phone. You wanted to question him about it but before you could, Soobin’s hand gently rested around your waist and he asked if you wanted to watch the movie you mentioned earlier. You had no choice but to leave Ryan’s mysteries for another day.

Once the movie was over and half of the snacks you brought for it were eaten, Soobin begged you to rewatch jujutsu kaisen with him, claiming that it was life changing. You realized at that moment, you can’t say no to him.

So now, you were stuck by his side, watching a show about a teenager eating fingers instead of going to school.

“Have you ever thought about the fact you and Beomgyu are like Itadori and Megumi?” You wonder, snacking on a bag of chips while watching the two interact. Soobin raises an eyebrow. “Who am I supposed to be in this incredibly wrong scenario?” He sounds almost offended and you have to sit up because of how oblivious he is. Funny, isn’t it?

“Megumi, obviously.”

He scoffs, glancing at the screen. “Megumi is the most boring character there is.” Your eyes widen. Now it’s you who is offended. “He’s my favorite,” there’s a small pout on your lips that makes Soobin close his mouth immediately, slowly regretting ever saying anything. “He reminds me of you.”

He opens his mouth before shutting it again, realizing there isn’t much to save the situation. Megumi really wasn’t his favorite, but what was he supposed to do when you said you liked him because he reminded you of him? “I’d rather you be Itadori then,” he mumbles.

Your eyes light up again, a winning smirk spread across your face. You move to lay on him again so you can continue watching, this time resting your head in his lap and occupying the rest of the couch with your legs. He blinks a few times, just watching you for a second before brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, carefully caressing your head and playing with your hair, slowly shifting his attention to the show playing.

He’s not sure when you manage to fall asleep but when he looks at you to ask about what you think of the fight scene happening, he sees your eyes closed and lips slightly parted, your breathing steady. He smiles, lowering the volume of the Tv before grabbing his phone and sending a quick text to Ryan, asking him to bring a blanket over since he can’t stand up right now.

“She fell asleep?” Ryan wonders as he comes out of his room, phone in one hand, the other carrying the blanket. Soobin turns his head to face him, nodding. “Yeah. Thanks, I would have gotten it myself but I don’t want to wake her up.”

“All good,” he shakes his head, lingering a little longer than probably necessary, eyeing the two of you on the couch, simply just happy that this is how you get to spend your evenings from now on. Soobin notices, raising his eyebrow confusedly. “Do you have a problem with anything?” His words come out harsher than expected, making Ryan’s eyes widen.

“Why would I have a problem with anything?”

“Don’t know. Maybe you’re jealous,” I would be. He doesn’t finish the sentence, he doesn’t need to because Ryan is already pressing a hand in front of his mouth in order to not wake you up with his laugh. “It looks like you’re the one being jealous,” he laughs, glancing from Soobin to your sleeping form again. He thinks of it as a joke, convinced there’s no way Soobin would actually think he’s being jealous over him, but as his eyes scan his expression, he figures that’s not the case.

“And you’re completely serious right now,” his eyes widening at the realization. “God, you think we have anything going on between us? I was the one who helped her figure out the possibility of being with you.”

Soobin doesn’t say anything, just watching him, observing. He doesn’t understand. Ryan was possibly the only other boy who’s seen parts of you you didn’t show to other people, the same parts he fell in love with. He saw you in your prettiest dress and even though Soobin was too gagged to look anywhere but on you, he just assumed Ryan looked at you the same way. Because to him, it was crazy that any boy wouldn’t want you.

Ryan hesitates for a second, rethinking the whole situation before sighing. “Really, there is absolutely nothing you have to worry about when it comes to us. There’s a better chance of Jisoo getting with her before I do.” Soobin’s expression doesn’t change and so he continues. “Remember my last date?” The question makes Soobin frown, unsure what that has to do with anything.

“A boy,” he admits, his heart feeling heavier as he puts himself out there. “But I’m not–” his throat tightens when the words come out. Except for you, there was no one else he’s told. No one who he would trust enough to share the information with. “No one else knows so don’t–”

“I won’t,” Soobin assures him quickly when he catches the change in his tone of voice, his built up jealousy and insecurity slowly fading away as he realizes how incredibly wrong he’s been all along. Of course, that’s why you said it was complicated when he asked if there weren’t a bunch of girls who liked him. He feels stupid. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s…whatever,” he mumbles, suddenly awkward. He needs to get away as soon as possible. “If anything just…text me again, I guess.” Soobin opens his mouth to answer but before he can do so, Ryan is already on his way back to his room, not looking back again. Soobin sighs, running a hand through his hair as he looks down on you. “I’m an idiot, huh?” He mumbles, beginning to play with your hair gently again. “Petty, jealous, idiot.”

You hum in your sleep, shifting slightly which only makes him chuckle. “Looks like you agree.”

Your neck hurts when you stir awake. You rub your eyes with the back of your hand, whining quietly. Blinking a few times, you get your eyes to focus again. They widen immediately when you see Soobin’s head resting against the back of the couch, sleeping. You turn to the side, the Tv turned off already and the coffee table just like you left it before falling asleep—full of half eaten snacks and empty bags. You slowly sit up, careful not to wake him up. He looks peaceful, his lips parted, a bit of saliva rolling down his chin. You chuckle. He’s cute.

You clean up the mess on the table, humming quietly to a song currently playing in your head. You’re not sure how long you’ve been asleep for but when you’re done with everything and check your phone, it’s already two am.

You come back to the couch, gently pressing your hand on Soobin’s shoulder. “Binnie,” you coo softly, watching him hum in his sleep as he shifts slightly. You smile, you never stop smiling when you’re with him. “You should sleep in your bed,” you say, hoping to wake him up. His eyes open for a second but you’re not sure if he even sees you because they close immediately after, his hand finding yours almost on an instinct. You yelp in surprise when he pulls you closer and you fall on to his lap. “Five more minutes,” he mumbles, wrapping his arms around you. You doubt if he even knows what he’s doing.

Or maybe he knows exactly what he’s doing. That might be the better scenario.

“Soobin,” you coo again, kissing his cheek gently. “Let’s go to bed. This can’t be comfortable.” You kiss his nose, then forehead, gently squeezing his shoulder again. This time, it actually works and he opens his eyes, blinking a few times to make sense of the situation. “What’s going…” Before he can finish his question, you place another kiss on his forehead. “Let’s go to bed, it’s late.”

“Will you stay with me?” He asks, his voice a bit hoarse from the sleep. Your eyes widen in surprise, just for a second, before they soften. You cup his cheek, smiling. “Yeah. Yeah, I will,” you nod. His grip tightens around your waist, his head falling to your shoulder as he inhales your scent.

If this is how he gets every time he is sleepy, you hope he never gets the rest he deserves.

“Come on,” you get up, holding his hand as you force him up on his feet as well. His fingers lace with yours, following you tiredly as you guide the way to his room. He accidentally kicks the couch on his way but you don’t say anything, chuckling quietly.

“I’ll change to my pajamas and will be right back, okay?” You turn to him when you reach his room. He nods slowly, his hand falling back to his side. He opens the door, lingering for a second. “You’ll come, right?” You smile again, assuring him you will before leaving to your own room.

When you get to Soobin’s room again, he’s sitting on his bed in his pajamas. “Aren’t you tired?” You ask, closing the door behind you. He looks up, extending his arms towards you to come in. “Yeah, but I was waiting for you.” You close the gap between you, standing between his legs as his arms settle on your thighs, fingertips digging into your flesh. He looks up at you and your heart immediately skips a beat. “You’re pretty,” he mumbles, his hand carefully sliding up to the hem of your shorts. You blush at his words, “I didn’t know you were so needy when you’re tired,” you whisper, chuckling.

He hums, and when his hands move to your ass, you sit on his lap again, running a hand through his hair. “When I told you to be like this earlier you couldn’t even look me in the eyes,” you tease him and he just grumbles. “What is it, baby?”

“You’re here,” is all he says before kissing your jaw. “I don’t want to hold back when you’re right here.” His words echo in your ears and without a second of hesitation, you kiss him. He leans back with you, his arms resting on your waist as he lays down, his back pressed against the mattress. “Just for the night,” he mumbles in between kisses. “Let me want you a bit more.”

Your breath shakes as you grind on top of him, looking for any sign of discomfort. A soft, shaky whine escapes his lips and his grip tightens. “Is this okay?” He nods, his eyes closed, refusing to look at you. “Soobin,” you whisper, feeling him harden under you as you grind once more. “Look at me.”

His eyes flutter open, scanning your face carefully before his gaze drops to where your bodies meet. “Is this okay?” You ask once more, this time getting a proper response. “More than okay,” he assures you, watching you move on top of him. His breathing is anything but steady, his eyes glued to your body as if you’d disappear if he even just as blinked. “I don’t–” his voice breaks in half when you sit directly on his tip, your shorts clinging to your body as you rub yourself on top of him. “I’m not sure what to do.”

“It’s okay,” you nod, understanding. “You don’t have to do anything. Let’s just feel good, hm?” He nods, his hands carefully sliding up your thighs. He can do that. He can stop overthinking it and just enjoy the moment, as long as he’s with you.

His hands slowly wander under your shirt, keeping his eyes on you to check if he’s not overstepping as he cups your breast. You bite your bottom lip, nodding slightly to him. You let him squeeze your breast, let him explore what his touch does to you. He watches every reaction, every muffled moan that leaves your lips, and every move of your hips. You never stop rubbing yourself on him and with each passing second, he feels like he is about to explode.

Leaning down again, you crash your lips with his in a hungry kiss. He doesn’t hesitate kissing you back and pulling you closer, if that’s even possible. He thrusts his hips up on instinct, a soft whimper escaping his lips. “Wai– Wait, fuck,” he curses, looking at his wet pants and your shorts. Mistake, he realizes. Seeing the mess you managed to create already only makes it harder for him not to cum in his pants.

You slide your hand under his shirt, tracing the line of his abs slowly before moving down to his waistband, glancing up at him for approval. “Please,” he nods, prompting himself up on his elbows as he watches you. You move aside, biting your bottom lip as you give his hard on a squeeze through the pants before pulling them down. Fuck. Soobin was tall, you knew that, of course, but you didn’t expect him to be packing down there so much as well.

“Have you thought about me before? While jerking off?” You watch his ears turn red, figuring that’s a yes. You squeeze your thighs together, eyes flickering between his cock, abs, and face. In the ideal world, you could ride all of them. “Want to show me?”

Soobin sits with his eyes glued to your body, his right hand wrapped around his cock, moving up and down in slow motion. You sit opposite him, your legs spread apart, pajama clothes somewhere on the floor, long forgotten by then, and your chest on full display. “What else did you think about?” You ask, watching his eyes scan your naked body.

His eyes fall down to your fingers on your clit, swallowing a lump in his throat. “I– Your boobs,” he admits slowly, avoiding looking you in the eyes from embarrassment. “Kissing them, holding them, uhm,” he bites down his moan as the image clouds his mind, his cock twitching in his hand and breath shaking. “About how you’d look if…if we were…”

“Yeah?” You can see that he’s close to finishing, barely able to speak without moaning or whimpering. It was hot.

“My imagination has nothing on reality,” he mumbles, curses slipping past his lips as he watches you finger yourself, his hips thrusting into his hand with more force than before. You smirk, “that good?” He nods, opening his mouth to say something, but before he can do so, you pull out your fingers and bring them to his mouth.

He knows he should feel embarrassed. He probably looks like a teenage boy who’s never touched a woman in his life—which he wouldn’t be far from actually—when he reaches his orgasm as soon as his lips wrap around your fingers, but he can’t seem to care. Not when you taste this good, not when you’re looking at him as if it was the most attractive thing you’ve ever seen.

“Can I..?” He asks with the biggest puppy eyes possible and even though you don’t know what he’s asking for, you nod. He moves closer to you, spreading your legs more before his hand caresses your thighs, slowly making his way to your core. His fingers replace yours, rubbing your clit the same way he watched you do so moments ago. You moan under his touch, guiding his hand lower and giving him a reassuring nod before he inserts two of his fingers into your hole. His fingers are longer than yours, without a doubt, and it shows. “Just like that, fuck, exactly there,” your eyes roll back when he hits your spot, listening to your moans as he pumps his fingers into you.

Soobin closes the distance between you, his free hand cupping your cheek as he kisses you again while his other hand brings you to your orgasm, muffling every one of your moans with his lips. “Was that okay?” He asks, the nervousness in his voice obvious. You giggle, your breathing heavy as you press your forehead to his. “You’re doing amazing,” you nod. “Absolutely fucking amazing.”

He giggles with you, exhaling in relief. He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear and kisses you again, this time with less need but much more affection, hoping you can feel all the years he’s spent loving you from afar coming up on the surface.

The following days became easier. You watched the nervousness and wariness in his eyes slowly change into something comfortable and familiar. He stopped being so hesitant, greeting you with a kiss every morning as if you were an old couple, holding your hand when you walked around campus, and taking you out on dates any chance he got. It was nice, and you could feel your heart skipping a beat every time his gaze lingered on you even a second longer than necessary.

You could see yourself growing old with those eyes.

“What are you hiding?” Soobin comes into the kitchen just as you’re leaning over the counter, a teasing grin on your face and Ryan a few steps beside you, smiling at his phone. He could recognize that smile from miles away, it was the same one he had for years on his face when he talked to you.

“I’m not hiding anything,” he says, way too quickly to your liking. “You’re trying to see things where they’re not.”

“What’s going on?” Soobin asks, wrapping his arm around your waist. You straighten your back and he immediately rests his head on your shoulder, watching Ryan with a spark of curiosity. His eyes flicker between the two of you, hating that it was so easy for you to see right through him. “Nothing’s going on, alright? Can’t I text people?”

You frown. “I never said you can’t. But you’ve been texting someone for ages and it makes me wonder why you haven’t told me anything about it.” Soobin can almost hear the pout in your voice and places a soft kiss on your shoulder. “Because I told you I’m not dating again. It’s just a friend, and I don’t see a reason why I should tell you I have a new friend.”

“You don’t have to close yourself off for everyone because one date didn’t go right,” Soobin meets his eyes and Ryan swallows everything he wanted to say when he hits a soft spot. This was nowhere close to how he wanted his evening to look like. “Didn’t you say you were going to stream tonight?” The question comes out harsher than intended but before he can apologize, Soobin nods slightly. “Yeah, I am,” he agrees, giving Ryan one last look of sympathy before turning to you. “Want to join me?”

You blink, glancing between your two roommates. You want to stay, ask Ryan more and assure him that whatever he set his mind on is stupid, but you can see how tired he is of this conversation. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore and you know when to stop minding other people’s business, even if they’re your best friend. “Yeah, sure, let’s go,” you nod. Soobin catches the sigh that leaves your lips but doesn’t comment on it, lacing his fingers with yours instead and leading you to his room.

“You can’t be mad at him for keeping in,” Soobin says, sitting down on his gaming chair and extending his arms for you to come in. You hum, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you stand between his legs. “I know, and I’m not. I just… I don’t want him to deal with everything on his own.” His hands slide up the back of your thighs, a pitiful smile on his lips.

“I’ll talk to him later, okay? Maybe he’ll tell me something,” he offers, bringing your hand to his face and kissing your knuckles. “Don’t beat yourself over it. He’ll tell you about it when he’s ready.”

You nod, sitting on his lap with your hands on his shoulder. “Have I told you you’re absolutely amazing yet?” He chuckles, closing the space between you and pressing his lips to yours in a tender kiss. “You can tell me that as many times you want,” he smiles into the kiss, a soft giggle escaping your lips.

“What’s the plan tonight?” You wonder when you pull back. He turns on the chair, his arm wrapped around your waist as he turns his PC on. When he types in his password and you notice it being your birthday, you can’t help but smile, your cheeks turning pink as you lean into his chest. “Phasmophobia,” he says, showing you the game. You watch his screen as he explains some of the rules of the game with the gameplay, nodding quietly. You let him talk, listening to his every word. It’s honestly attractive. It’s not like he’s doing much, but it’s enough.

“Yeonjun hasn’t played it yet and we were thinking of texting Kai to join us but if you want, we can connect your laptop and you could play with us instead?” He turns his head to you, his face mare inches away from yours. You blink, shaking your head, “you said you haven’t played with Kai in a long time, you shouldn’t exclude him just because of me.”

“I want to play with you,” he states firmly. “You should know by now I’d choose you over the boys any time.” If you were blushing before, you must look like a tomato right now. Before he can say anything else and send you into a spiral, you kiss him again, your hand on his neck as you pull him close. He doesn’t take long to catch up, pushing his tongue between your lips and deepening the kiss, his fingers digging into your waist. “You’re too good to me,” you whisper.

“You’re the one too good to me. I’m just treating you as anyone you’ve ever given a chance to should have.”

“You should be a poet instead,” you mumble, averting your gaze from him. You know he’s about to say something more, but he’s interrupted by an incoming call on discord, the screen flashing with The Choi’s group chat. Thank God, honestly. Whatever he wanted to say would probably make your heart race faster than it already does and you don’t need a heart attack right now.

You accept the call, the first thing you hear being Beomgyu’s grumble. “We’ll have to use walkie talkies in the game, why are we starting a call here?” Soobin chuckles quietly, leaning forward and resting his chin on your shoulder, clicking through something on his screen. “He’s new to the game, cut him some slack,” he says and you catch a faint curse on the other side, assuming it must be from Yeonjun.

“Whatever, who cares. Is everyone ready now? Can I text Kai? He might be asleep though, he said something about pulling an all-nighter the night before and feeling like passing out when I talked to him earlier.” As soon as Yeonjun finishes his question, Soobin turns his head to look at you again, looking for an answer in your eyes. You nod slightly, his smile widening immediately.

“Don’t bother. I have our fourth player. She’s sitting on my lap as we speak.”

It wasn’t a secret to any of your friends that you and Soobin were something now. Apparently, they knew so even before you did. Soobin looked terrified when Beomgyu told you a few days ago that he’s glad he finally had the balls to ask you out because it was getting annoying having to listen to him enthuse about how in love with you he was. All you could do at the moment was laugh. Then, after Beomgyu left, you showered Soobin in kisses on his bed and he promised to tell you how in love he is more often if that’s what he gets in return. He was adorable.

The two boys greet you immediately, asking about how your day was and if Soobin is being annoying. It makes you chuckle because he is anything but. You talk with them for a bit, Soobin’s hands still wrapped around you and hugging you tightly. You love moments like these.

You’re not sure how much time passes but eventually, you leave to get your laptop while Soobin prepares his stream, his camera and microphone already on when you come back. You place the laptop on his bed—which is also the place you agreed on sitting before even though it wasn’t exactly ideal to be in the same room while using walkie talkies—and join his side, greeting his chat with a smile.

In the blink of an eye, the comments change from simple hello’s and questions about what the plane for today is into more personal ones—mostly about your relationship. A few people ask about your name, new fans you assume, but most of the people are asking if the rumors are true and you truly are dating. It was kind of obvious by now. Just a few days earlier, Soobin made a new post on his instagram with pictures from an actual date you had. They were cute, and made it into your highlights as well.

He turns his head to you, not answering any of their questions. A sign of the same vulnerability you saw almost every day at the beginning flickers in his eyes, the question hanging in the air. You know which one made him like this. Are you two dating? You haven’t put a label on anything, didn’t think it was needed, but when your eyes meet his, and you see the hope in them, you want a label more than ever before.

You smile, a gentle, soft one that always makes him calmer and turn towards the camera. “You got us,” you nod. “We are dating. But no, he does not fall into the streamer stereotypes and does shower every day, so I’m not in any danger,” you laugh, briefly glancing at Soobin. He looks puzzled, but his expression lasts less than a second, immediately being replaced with excitement and a hint of relief.

“Wouldn’t want to stink near my beautiful girlfriend,” he grins and you have to roll your eyes at how cheeky he sounds. You shake your head at him, but the smile on your face never disappears. “Get your game ready, pretty boy. I don’t have the whole night for you.” He cocks his head to you, a teasing smirk on his face as he mouths “you sure?” at you. You fight the urge to throw a pillow at him.

“What on Earth are they doing?” You laugh, watching Beomgyu and Yeonjun move their characters in the lobby, getting into some weird positions they definitely wouldn’t be able to recreate in real life. Soobin laughs with you, shaking his head. He was playing around with settings now, trying to convince you to go on pro mode. Neither Yeonjun nor you knew if that was something you wanted to jump into but thankfully (or possibly unfortunately) you had Beomgyu on your side, arguing with Soobin immediately that you weren’t ready and it would end up with him being alive alone again.

“Everyone get ready,” Soobin commands, your earlier laugh replaced with a chuckle immediately. “Yes, captain,” you joke, and even though you see him rolling his eyes, you also notice the smile that tugs at the corner of his lips.

Soobin helps you out during the game a lot, always walking around beside you so you don’t stay anywhere alone and don’t get yourself killed, reminding you what certain keys do, and working with you on figuring out what kind of a ghost you’re dealing with. Anyone new joining his stream probably doesn’t even know Beomgyu and Yeonjun are in the game as well. You barely know of their presence yourself.

After three successful rounds, Soobin finally convinced you to play on pro mode, still staying by your side as he ran around, trying to figure out the ghost’s spawn place. Yeonjun walked right behind you, holding a camera in his hands while Beomgyu stayed in the van, laughing his ass off as he watched you through Yeonjun’s camera. It slowly turned into Soobin continuously telling him to do something and him arguing that you had it all covered already. It had Soobin grumbling and his chat laughing.

You played for two hours and half until Beomgyu had to leave—a date as Soobin informed you earlier—and you all decided to call it a day. You stretch out on the bed, pushing the heating laptop off your legs. Soobin leans back in his chair once his computer is turned off, turning to face you. “Had fun tonight?”

You smile, nodding. You open your arms and he doesn’t hesitate getting up from his place and making his way over to you, plopping down on top of you. You giggle, bringing him down to kiss him. “So much fun,” you answer, wrapping your arms behind his neck.

“You were so pretty,” he praises, placing a soft kiss to your nose. “I wanted to kiss you every time you gave me that clueless pout,” he whispers, this time leaving a kiss on your cheek. You giggle, cupping his cheeks and making him look at you. “Kiss me twice as much now then.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice, already claiming your lips. He wraps his hands behind your back, keeping you as close as possible until he decides to change positions, his lips never leaving yours as he sits down and helps you onto his lap. His hand moves up to your neck, thumb brushing your cheek as he deepens the kiss. He could go like this all day if he could.

You run a hand through his hair, forcing him to pull back when you tug at a few of his strands. He groans, eyes meeting yours. You bite back a moan yourself when you look at him, every sane thought you had until now disappearing out of the window when he looks up at you like that. “Love,” he whispers, his hands trailing down your sides until he makes it under your shirt. “Yes, baby?” You smile innocently, pretending that his touch doesn’t send shivers throughout your whole body.

“You’re beautiful.” You learnt to accept his compliments after some time (because you’re not sure if there has been a day in which he wouldn’t compliment you in some way) but they still worked on you every time, making you blush. His hands move to your back again, unclipping your bra with ease. You help him get your shirt off, your bra following right after. He smiles, one of his hands cupping your breast and rolling your nipple between his fingers while the other settles on your waist. You can’t even blink before his mouth meets your other boob, his tongue circling your nipple.

You run your hand through his hair again, a soft whine escaping your lips as you grind on him from the pleasure. He glances at you briefly, and when he sees your eyes closed, the moans that leave your lips showing him just how much you’re enjoying yourself, he sucks harder, taking his sweet time with each of your breasts.

“Baby,” you whine, rolling your hips against his. He finally pulls away, meeting your eyes with a playful smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Please.”

Your back presses against the mattress, your boyfriend hovering on top of you and kissing his way down your body. Once his mouth reaches your pants, he tugs them down slowly, kissing your inner thigh. You open your legs for him without hesitation, causing a groan to leave his lips. He settles himself between your legs, kissing his way up from your thigh to your clit. “Just a small taste,” he begs, sucking on your clit the same way he sucked on your nipple moments ago.

It’s been days of exploring each other’s bodies, finding out what pleasures the other and what doesn’t. It took some time, but he’d like to say he knows how to get you off without any problems now, one of those things being your newly discovered obsession with riding his nose.

And what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he didn’t give you the opportunity to do so?

Soobin presses his nose against your clit, his tongue pushing past your folds. Your moans fill the room shortly after, even if you try to keep it down so as not to disturb your roommate, gripping the sheets on your side. You roll your hips against him, your eyes rolling back when his tongue enters your hole. As if that wasn’t enough on its own, his fingers dig into your thighs, keeping you where he wants so he controls all of your pleasure.

“Wa–Wait,” you gasp, your orgasm building in your stomach faster than you can comprehend. He simply hums against you, not bothering with looking up as he licks you. “So pretty,” he mumbles again, sucking on your clit. You gasp, finding his hair with your fingers and trying to tug him away from you, your legs closing simultaneously.

Fortunately, he only pulls back once you reach your orgasm, finishing on his mouth. He licks his lips clean, smiling. “You,” your breath catches and you’re not even sure what you want to say. Did so fucking good? Were absolutely amazing? Take better care of me than anyone else?

“It’s okay,” he coos, coming up to kiss you. He brushes your hair from your face gently, brushing his thumb over your cheek. “You can do one more, right?” You don’t answer, you can’t. All you can think about is, where did you even learn all that?

But you know the answer. From you. Everything he knows, he’s learnt from you, because he wanted to. He learnt how to talk, when the right time to kiss you is, where to press at times, and how to be a good mix of someone who could—and wanted—to please you, and the same person he was before who didn’t even know a handful of positions.

His thumb gently circles your clit, causing a few whines to leave your lips. He keeps his eyes on you, waiting for your answer. Even though you told him before it was okay to overstimulate you sometimes, he didn’t need to do so. He was glad he could make you feel good, even if it means having to take care of his throbbing cock alone in the bathroom.

But you wouldn’t let that happen, slowly nodding. “Yeah,” you breathe out. “I can take one more.” He smiles, pressing another kiss to your lips before getting his clothes off, too busy admiring your naked body to look where they ended up after he threw them to the floor.

Soobin rubs his cock between your folds, his eyes glued to your body. “Wanna go raw?” you offer and his eyes immediately widen. He has condoms, somewhere in his top drawer of his desk, but at the moment, he completely forgot about something like protection, his mind too occupied with different thoughts. “Can I?” He looks up and you smile, nodding.

“Fuck,” he curses, aligning himself slowly. He looks up once more for reassurance and when you chuckle, telling him it’s okay, he thrusts his tip in, giving you some time to adjust before he slaps his hips with yours. You gasp immediately, your moans coming out broken as he starts moving.

Soobin’s soft praises mixed with his groans fill your ears, your eyes rolling back as his fingers lace with yours and he slows down again, hitting just the right spot. At that moment, even though your head is empty, one singular thought manages to pop up. I love you, Soobin.

You don’t say anything though, holding his hand with your mouth wide open and head thrown back. Yeah, he is good.

His thrusts turn sloppy, his energy slowly dying out as he reaches his climax. You came just seconds ago with his name falling from your lips as if you were a broken record and now it was finally his turn. You wrap your legs behind his back, keeping him in place and making sure he doesn’t even think about pulling out. You need to feel him filling you up, showing you you’re his. And he’ll gladly do so.

“Shit,” he gasps, squeezing your hand tighter as he finishes, his eyes wide. “Fuck– That was so good.” You giggle, relaxing your legs again and trying to catch your breath. He curses again when he pulls out of you and hears you whine, fighting himself not to get hard again. He lays down beside you, dropping his arm around your stomach and pulling you flush against his body.

“I love you,” he mumbles, just like he has many times before. But this time, it’s different after all. Because this time, you can say it back.

“I love you too, baby,” you whisper, sealing the words with a kiss.

⋆✶ izzy's tags @beomiracles @seoulzie @adel222 @inkigayocamman @flowzel @love-be0m @virgo-and-libra @hwanghyunjinismybae @liaatiny @minaateez @bamgeutsz @lovingbeomgyudayone @definitelynotherr @hyunj00 @saejinniestar @dawngyu @xylatox @thetxtdevil @biteyoubiteme @heesmiles @t-102 @jellyyjn @feet4liferss @soobinieswife @yunxiang0524 @xodidarks @jellyyjn @bunniwords @cocoalmond @tteokbunni @chaotic-floral @fancypeacepersona @beomgyusluver @ros1eluvsbinnie ✶⋆

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sturniphone · 17 days ago

Text

https://www.twitch.tv/msturn

˖﹗ headcannons for his sweetheart && ·˚ ꒰ streamer!matt ﹗⌗ִ ˖

꒲ ۫ ּ a collab with @matties-angel (wifey) . . . ❜ ﹗ ˖

˖ ֺ ⌗ streamer!matt who gets nervous when you sit on his lap ˖ ࣪ა

The stream’s in full swing. Chat flying, Matt laser-focused, headset half on when you pad in quietly, hoodie dragging, hair messy from your nap. You don’t say a word. Just crawl right into his lap mid-game like it’s yours. Matt chokes. ❝B-baby—❞ he stammers, voice cracking, ❝You can’t just—❞ But his arms are already around you. Chat lights up instantly.

user: SHE’S HERE??? user: MATT’S COOKED. user: HE'S BLUSHINGGGG 😭😭😭

He tries to keep his cool, but he’s flushed pink, barely aiming straight, hiding behind your shoulder like the world isn’t watching. You nuzzle in, warm and sleepy, and he lets out a breathless little laugh before mumbling into your hoodie, ❝You’re going to be the death of me.❞ His hands settle on your waist. The game fades. The noise softens. And just like that, Matt’s whole world fits into one quiet moment—with you in his lap.

˖ ֺ ⌗ streamer!matt who always reads your texts mid stream ˖ ࣪ა

Matt’s locked in, eyes narrowed, lips pressed tight, clicking rapid-fire like his life depends on it when his phone buzzes beside the keyboard. He glances down, just quick, just habit. Then it freezes. His lips twitch. His whole face softens like someone hit pause on the world. The game fades. The yelling in his headset dims.

You texted: “I love you. Hope you’re having fun. Don’t rage too hard. <3 ” And that’s it. That’s all it takes.

user: WHO TEXTED?? user: Did your girl just say hi?? user: nah he’s so in love it’s EMBARRASSING (i want what they have)

Matt doesn’t even flinch. Doesn’t look away from your message. He leans into the mic with that smug little grin and murmurs, ❝Mind your business. That’s my girl.❞ And even while thousands are watching, he reads your text again like it’s the only thing that matters. Because to him—it is.

˖ ֺ ⌗ streamer!matt who 'let' you win a game once ˖ ࣪ა

You’ve never played before, not really. But Matt sets everything up for you with a smug little smile. Slides his old headset over your ears. Pulls his hoodie over your head like he’s already decided you’ll lose cutely.

❝Sweetheart, no offence, but I’m going to absolutely destroy you.❞ He’s cocky. Loud. Laughing like you don’t stand a chance. And then… you win. (Barely) Matt goes silent. Just stares at the screen like it betrayed him. You giggle into the mic and lean over to kiss his cheek.

user: SHE’S NEVER PLAYED AND STILL ATE 😭 user: Nah, she’s his karma, fr. user: HE LET HER WIN (he didn’t) user: WE’RE WITNESSING A MAN FALL IN LOVE IN 4K

He slumps, muttering under his breath, ❝This game’s broken.❞ But when you turn away, he switches to cam-only, smiles softly, and mouths, ❝I love her so much. Don’t clip this.❞

( 🖇️ ) 𝓣aglist ꒰ @chrepsi @ph3ebssturniolo @sturnsxbbyeilish @j21l91 @pip4444chris @mattslutt @sophand4n4 @mattscoquette @mi-co-uk @tezzzzzzzz @emely9274 @oopsiedaisydeer @theowensturniolo @httpssturns @matthewsroses @bugs-tags @mattswrinkleton @victorious8 @h3arts4nat @madz146 @ifwdominicfike @rriverscuomo @ivysturnss @brianaluvschris @mattsgold @sturniolotoast @ariieeesworld @angelicameron @blahbel668 @sturniszn @chriss-slutt @mattsdiva @little-lolaaa @mattsmoth @clairo4life @everythingaboutbags @matts-wife @chrispleasure @ajskorner @mattspillowprincess @freshlovefever @twylas114 @matties-angel @mayax2o07 @sturnsflirt @tonymayor2022 @ifellforanotherloser ꒱

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kxsagi · 1 month ago

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HIII this is my first time requesting so😭😭

I was wondering if you could make the bllk boys having a streamer gf who's basically the funniest person ever?? Like she lowkey glazes herself and then the next moment she starts cringing when she sees the "y/n core" videos on tiktok. (You can add any1, just plzlzlzlzl add Hiori, Karasu, n Kaiser!!)

Bonus prompt: maybe streamer reader who still stays up late at night to stream and her bf is so deadass tired of her yelling and screaming in the other side of the room that he comes there and stares at her while the door creaks slowly as she plays horror games. She gets jump scared by her ugly ahh bf /j

“𝐢’𝐦 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 *𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬*”

a/n: this had to be one of my favorite requests to write for

and i'm sorry i couldn't figure out a better title idea 💀

ft. hiori yo, karasu tabito, kaiser michael, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, isagi yoichi, shidou ryusei, nagi seishiro

hiori yo

hiori didn’t even realize you were a streamer when he first met you. he just thought you were like, a social butterfly with a particularly aggressive discord server.

then one night, he saw you on twitch – camera on, screaming over a boss fight, yelling “I GOT THAT DOG IN ME” before immediately dying. you threw your headset across the room. it was love at first sight.

your duality confuses him so bad. you’ll be on stream going “guys i’m literally a divine being sent by the simulation to enlighten humanity with my content 😋” and then an hour later you’re doomscrolling tik tok whispering, “why did someone make a ‘me-core’ edit using ✨creepy reverb lana del rey audio✨… i don’t even own a taxidermy bunny.”

hiori has a burner tik tok account where he just likes all your edits. he won’t admit it. but he does.

if you stream late at night, he always gets up halfway through, rubbing his eyes, looking like a baby panda, and just mumbles “babe… pls… not the five nights at freddy’s mod again…”

you get jump scared and scream, not because of the game, but because he’s standing in the dark doorway like a victorian child ghost. “you almost made me shit my chair, don’t do that!” “bed. now.” you whine until he drags you off cam by the hoodie. your viewers think it’s romantic.

karasu tabito

karasu found your stream randomly one night and IMMEDIATELY followed because “wait… why is she kinda insane. i like that.”

he joins your discord and bullies you lovingly in VC. “yo, did you just hype yourself up and then lose to a 12-year-old in valorant? L-stream, honestly.” “i’m literally god. i am the main character. i could seduce anyone, anytime.” “bold of you to say that while getting shot in the ass by a roblox avatar.”

but he also unironically thinks you’re the funniest person ever. he clips your dumbest moments and adds meme captions before sending them in your friend group chat.

every time you find a “[name]-core” tik tok you audibly gag. “WHO MADE THIS. WHY IS IT SLOWED + REVERB. WHY AM I STANDING IN A FIELD. WHY IS THE CAPTION ‘she was soft, but strong’-- I JUST STREAM MINECRAFT.”

karasu’s like “nah, but they ate with that. that’s exactly your vibe.” he’ll even say that on stream just to watch you suffer.

during horror streams, he intentionally opens the door and just stands there like a menace with a cup of water. you scream and almost die IRL. “WHY ARE YOU BUILT LIKE A LOUD JUMPSCARE???” “you love me 😌”

kaiser michael

kaiser is an attention whore. the second he found out you had a fanbase, he started doing PR. “this stream would be way better if you had a hot cohost, just saying.” “do you want to play or are you just here to inflate your ego?” “yes.”

you constantly glaze yourself on cam like “i’m carrying this server. i’m so powerful. how do people even function without me,” and then kaiser strolls in behind you and goes, “hey guys, don’t believe her lies. she just got killed by a goat in-game.”

your chat LOVES him and it pisses you off. “WHY are y’all saying ‘kaiser nation rise’?? this is MY stream!!”

he deadass becomes a meme. someone edits him with villain music every time he enters your room while you’re playing horror games.

you’re about to beat a boss when you hear the door go creeeeeak. kaiser leans in with the most punchable face asking, “need help, champ?” you throw your mouse.

but also? he tucks you in when you pass out in your gaming chair at 2 AM, muttering “of course she passed out mid-stream again.” turns off your lights and sets an alarm for you.

you wake up to a note that says “your villain made you breakfast, don’t get used to it 🌹”

itoshi rin

rin hates stream culture. HATES. IT. he walked into your room one night and heard you go “i’m literally slay-coded and built like a tax return,” and just stood in the doorway like you were a stranger. “what the hell are you talking about.” “it’s for the brand, babe.”

he’s always muttering under his breath when you’re live. like you’ll be gaming with the mic hot and rin’s just in the back going “why is she screaming like that. it’s a raccoon, not satan.”

you scream again and he yells back, “IT’S NOT EVEN CHASING YOU.”

chat lives for it. they call him “the offscreen hater,” and you know someone made a slowed-down tik tok of his blurry silhouette in the background of your cam with the caption “he doesn’t love the world, but he loves her.” you wanted to die.

sometimes, he just opens your door mid-stream and doesn’t say anything. just stares. and leaves. you get scared every time.

“guys my boyfriend just jumpscared me more than this entire horror game.” rin offscreen: “skill issue.”

itoshi sae

sae’s your boyfriend, your mod, your stream saboteur. he’s not even subtle.

he’ll donate to your stream under fake names like “bankruptcy enjoyer” or “ur bf’s hotter” and say things like “why does she act like she’s funny. someone humble her.”

you know it’s him. he doesn’t even try to hide it. when you call him out, he just goes, “prove it. court of law style.”

sae walks in when you’re in full hype mode yelling “I’M A NATIONAL TREASURE,” and he just raises an eyebrow like, “they lied to you.”

he takes photos of you mid-stream while you’re frozen mid-yell or making some cursed expression and sends them to the group chat. “can someone please take her internet away.”

during your horror streams, he’ll open the door just to toss something into the room, like a pillow or sock, and you’ll scream and fall off your chair. he’s laughing like a proud gremlin. “you’re the worst!” “and yet you keep letting me in.”

isagi yoichi

isagi is the sweetest mod to ever exist. he’s there in chat cleaning up spam, pinning your donation goals, hyping you up like “SHE’S GOT THIS 🔥” every time you enter a boss fight.

he also helps you review VODs and timestamps your funniest moments. he’s invested in your stream like it’s the world cup.

you’ll be gassing yourself up like “i’m the blueprint, i’m the moment, i’m the–” and isagi’s in chat like “YOU ARE 🫡.”

but then… you find a “[name]-core” video with melancholic lofi and black-and-white clips of you saying things like “i think my toaster’s gaslighting me” and you spiral.

isagi tries so hard not to laugh. “i mean… it is kinda deep if you think about it.”

he’s so sleep-deprived because of your night streams. there was one time you screamed during a horror game and he ran in half-asleep, baseball bat in hand, yelling “WHO’S HERE?! WHO HURT YOU?!”

it was just a pixel zombie. you peed a little from laughing.

shidou ryusei

shidou would rather die than miss one of your streams. he doesn’t even care about the gameplay, he’s there for the chaos.

every time you start acting delulu, he matches your energy like “YEAH SHE’S A GODDESS, ALL HAIL HER.” “i will smite you, shidou.” “okay mommy 🥴”

he hijacks your streams. if you don’t lock your door, he’s bursting in with a red bull and climbing onto your bed in the background like a jungle gym.

one time he scared the life out of you by opening your window mid-stream while you were playing a horror game. you screamed and accidentally headbutted your mic.

chat was crying laughing. someone made a gif of it and called it “shidou jumpscare arc.”

he once made a “[name]-core” video entirely in capcut. it had stick figures, comic sans captions like “crazy but hot,” and explosion sound effects. it went viral. you’ve never recovered.

nagi seishiro

nagi watches your stream like it’s bedtime ASMR. you’ll be yelling and raging and he’s just lying there on your floor with a blanket over his head, unbothered. “mm, background noise. nice.”

he likes when you hype yourself up. you’ll go “i’m literally cracked” and he’ll mumble, “you are. carry me next game, yeah?”

if you’re still streaming when he’s trying to sleep, he’ll get up slowly, peek into your room like a zombie, and just stand in the doorway. not blinking. silent. “is… is that my boyfriend or the grudge?” you get scared every single time. he finds it funny in a deadpan way. “you’re so jumpy. wow. embarrassing.”

one night you were crying-laughing at a “[name]-core” tik tok where someone said “her voice sounds like unmedicated lightning,” and nagi, without even opening his eyes, went, “that’s kinda accurate.”

you slapped him with a pillow mid-stream.

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sunshine-lux · 29 days ago

Text

I Love You (i.)

summary: when y/n gets invited to the new avengers gala, sam wilson sees it as the perfect opportunity to gather intel on valentina’s new team. except, she doesn’t bring back intel. she brings back a hot russian avenger instead.

pairing: yelena belova x stark!reader

warnings: some swearing, lots of flirting, implied sexual relations, f!reader. i think thats it oops sorry if i missed any!

word count: 7.1k

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺

The gala was a funeral in disguise.

Gold streamers shimmered where there used to be Stark tech. Laughter echoed through the walls like it belonged there. And Y/N Stark— red dress, high heels, an unimpressed swirl of bourbon in her glass— stood near the edge of it all, pretending she wasn’t mourning.

Her father used to throw real parties here. Not PR stunts dressed up in legacy and blood money.

Valentina had really outdone herself.

“Smile for the cameras, sweetheart,” one of the aides murmured as they passed her. Y/N didn’t. She just arched a brow and sipped her drink.

She wasn’t here for them. She was here to look pretty and pretend she wasn’t slipping intel to Sam Wilson through an encrypted burner. Even if she didn’t really know what she was looking for— she just knew that something felt wrong, off. The way the new Avengers smiled too clean. The way Valentina said “family” like it was a currency.

And then she saw her.

Across the room. Black suit. Dark eyes. Blonde hair slicked back. Leaning against the far wall like she owned it, like she’d kill anyone who said otherwise. There was a glass of wine in her hand and a scent of vanilla in the air when she passed by and Y/N thought, she doesn’t belong here either.

She watched as the woman moved through the crowd with quiet confidence, eyes like blades, smile like bait. She didn’t shake hands. She didn’t make small talk.

And then their eyes met.

The moment held— just a second too long.

And the woman smiled, slow and deliberate.

Y/N Stark had met gods. She’d stared down reporters, CEOs, senators, and had encountered aliens. But nothing rattled her quite like the way that woman looked at her— as if she already knew the ending.

She turned back to her drink, hiding the tremble in her fingers with practiced ease.

What she didn’t know was that Yelena Belova had been sent to figure out what Y/N Stark wanted.

The string quartet was playing something delicate and classic. Y/N was pretending to care about it while nursing her second drink.

And then—.footsteps. A shadow that stopped just beside her.

She didn’t turn. Not yet. She waited.

“Do you always look this bored at parties?” a voice asked. Thick accent, smooth and sharp like vodka over ice. Russian. Confident. Teasing.

Y/N smiled into her glass. “Only when they're not mine.”

She turned slowly, eyes dragging up the black suit to meet the woman’s face— and yeah, up close she was even more annoying. Gorgeous, unreadable, and way too calm. She smelled like wine and something floral with a bite.

The woman offered a smirk. “Your name is on the honorary guest list.”

“And yours?” Y/N tilted her head. “I don’t remember seeing ‘brooding assassin chic’ on the RSVP.”

“Yelena,” she said simply. “I’m new.”

“Mm. That’s cute. Most people introduce themselves with a handshake.”

“I’m not most people.”

“No, clearly. Most people wouldn’t try this hard not to stare.”

Yelena smirked. “Who says I’m trying?”

Y/N let out a low breath. “Wow. Do you rehearse this, or are you just naturally this arrogant?”

“I’m just naturally this good,” Yelena said, casually sipping her drink.

Y/N blinked. Then laughed, soft and surprised, her first real one all night.

“You’re charming. In a murder-y sort of way.”

“And you,” Yelena said, taking a slow sip of her wine, “are very shiny for someone who doesn’t want to be noticed.”

Y/N swirled her drink. “Funny. Most people say I’m trying too hard to stay relevant.”

Yelena tilted her head, eyes glinting. “Are you?”

“Being seen and being known are different things.”

Yelena nodded, eyes still locked on hers. “You’re not just here for the champagne.”

Y/N smiled. “Neither are you.”

Another beat.

Yelena cocked her head. “What are you here for then?”

Y/N’s voice dropped an octave. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would,” Yelena said honestly. “But I don’t expect an honest answer.”

Y/N grinned. “That’s smart of you.”

“I’ve been told I’m a quick study.”

“Mm. That’s hot.”

Yelena blinked— caught off guard, just slightly— and Y/N could’ve sworn the corner of her mouth twitched.

“You always flirt like it’s a game of chess?” Yelena asked.

“Only when I think my opponent’s worth the effort.”

“And you think I’m worth it?”

“You’re wearing a knife in your boot and pretending it’s just fashion. Of course I think you’re worth it.”

Yelena sipped her wine slowly. “You shouldn’t flirt with people like me, Y/N Stark.”

“Why not?”

“Because sometimes people like me flirt back.”

Another pause. Longer this time.

The kind of silence where if one of them moved even an inch closer, they wouldn’t stop.

Yelena smiled, slow and sharp. “We’re going to be a problem, aren’t we?”

Y/N’s grin was sweeter. More dangerous. “Only if you try to play me.”

“And what if I already am?”

Y/N clinked her glass against Yelena’s. “Then may the best liar win.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

The wind was colder up here.

Y/N pushed open the old stairwell door and stepped out onto the rooftop she used to sneak onto as a kid, back when the real avengers still lived here. Now it smelled like bleach and rebranding. Like Valentina had scrubbed it clean of the legacy built here.

Yelena was standing at the edge with her back turned, the city stretched out in front of her like a secret she’d already solved. Black suit, arms folded, blonde hair glowing slightly under the rooftop lights. Dangerous even when still.

Y/N raised a brow. “You again? Can’t get enough of me, huh?”

Yelena didn’t turn. “You’re the one who followed me up here.”

Y/N smirked. “Did I?”

A pause. Then, Yelena spoke again, low and sharp.

“You know, it’s rude to walk around like this is your home. Like you own the place.”

The words hit harder than they should’ve. Y/N’s smile dimmed just a fraction.

“It used to be,” she said quietly.

That made Yelena turn. Just her head. Enough to see Y/N standing there with her arms crossed, like armor.

“Well,” Yelena muttered, looking back out over the skyline, “not anymore.”

Silence fell between them. Not tense. Not easy. Just full of the things neither of them had said yet.

Y/N shifted on her heels.

“She used to talk about you, you know.”

Yelena stilled.

Y/N’s voice softened, her words careful but not performative. No act. Just memory.

“She tried to train me once. I was awful at it— like, impressively bad.” A tiny laugh slipped out. “She kept saying I needed better instincts. That I thought too much. But then she mentioned her little sister. Said you were probably around my age now. Said how strong you were. How easy it all came to you.”

Yelena didn’t move. Didn’t breathe.

“She never really went into detail,” Y/N went on, “but I remembered everything she said.”

A long beat passed.

Then, Yelena exhaled like someone had let the air out of her all at once.

“What am I supposed to do with that?” she asked, quiet. Not harsh. Just… unsure.

Y/N stepped closer, slow.

“Nothing,” she said. “I just figured… it might be nice to know that she never forgot about you. Even if it might’ve felt that way to you.”

Yelena blinked, eyes locked on the skyline now like it might give her something to hold onto. But her jaw had gone tight.

Y/N didn’t push. She didn’t need to. The silence was doing enough damage.

Eventually, Yelena said, almost inaudible: “You talk too much.”

Y/N smiled again. Smaller this time. Real.

“You think that’s bad? Wait until I get real comfortable with you.”

Yelena finally looked at her. Really looked. And for once, there wasn’t a smirk or a mask between them.

Just the two of them.

Different worlds. Same ache.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

The sun was already rising when Yelena opened her eyes.

Her room was cold. Messy. One bag by the door. Weapons tucked into every corner. A half empty bottle of red wine on the desk. Everything was exactly where she left it.

Except her.

Y/N was gone.

Not that she’d ever been here, technically. But her laugh was still in the air. Her perfume clung to Yelena’s collar. And her absence burned hotter than her presence ever had a right to.

Yelena stretched her neck and reached for her phone.

She’d already checked.

Twice.

She told herself it was protocol. Curiosity, at best. Some part of her just wanted to know if Y/N made it back to D.C. safely. Not in a protective way. Not in a weird way. Just… professionally.

Right?

She opened the encrypted feed again. The little tracker she’d slipped into the lining of Y/N’s clutch. Lightweight, undetectable, absolutely against every new rule she was supposed to be following— still pinged steady.

Private jet. Midair. Destination: Washington D.C.

Yelena exhaled through her nose. “Good.”

Her voice sounded rough. She ignored it.

She didn’t know why she cared.

Except— she did know. She just refused to name it.

The worst part was that Y/N hadn’t even told her goodbye. No note. Not even a wave. Just… gone. Like she knew it was safer that way.

Smart girl.

Annoyingly smart.

Yelena rubbed at her temple and sat down on the edge of the bed. The air still smelled like her— some stupid mix of expensive perfume and bourbon.

She hated how easy it was to miss her.

She also hated how none of it made sense. Y/N Stark was a spoiled, untrained civilian wrapped in red carpets and designer armor. A girl who could have anyone. Who should want someone easier, softer, less dangerous.

But then there was that moment on the rooftop.

The memory sliced through her again— Y/N’s voice soft, talking about Natasha. The way she’d looked at her. Not scared. Not skeptical. Just… sure.

Yelena hadn’t felt seen like that in years.

She clenched her jaw and looked out the window.

Somewhere over Virginia, Y/N Stark was probably asleep in a cream leather seat with an eye mask on and a mimosa waiting.

Yelena told herself that was the last time she’d track her.

She told herself she didn’t care if they ever saw each other again.

And then she added another layer of encryption to the tracker’s signal— just in case.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

The debrief room was too bright. Too official. Too not New York.

Y/N sat at the edge of the table, half listening to the static filled playback from her mic, sipping on an aggressively mediocre iced coffee and already regretting everything.

The only voices coming through clearly?

Hers and Yelena’s.

Again.

Sam clicked something on the console. “So just to confirm, Stark— this is all we got from the night?”

Y/N lifted a brow. “Unless you wanted an audio tour of canapés and surface level small talk, then yes. This is it.”

“You talked about her suit for like three minutes,” Joaquin added, scrolling through the transcript on his tablet. “And the way she smells?”

Y/N crossed her arms. “It was… noticeable.”

“You mean seductive.” He smirked. “You called her scent ‘surprisingly complex.’”

Y/N gasped. “Did I?”

“Oh, you did,” Sam deadpanned. “Multiple times.”

Y/N flopped dramatically in her seat. “Okay, well maybe if someone had told me what I was supposed to be looking for, this wouldn’t have happened. It’s not my fault no one was talking about anything suspicious.”

“I told you to keep your ears open for mentions of new recruits or foreign donors,” Sam said, rubbing his temples. “Did you forget that part between outfit changes?”

“No, I just didn’t hear anything. Walker looked like he’d rather throw himself off the roof than be near me. Alexei straight up turned and walked the other way. I didn’t even see Ava or Bucky. And Valentina didn’t say a single word to me.”

“She invited you to the party and didn’t speak to you?” Joaquin asked.

“Not even a fake smile.” Y/N huffed. “Yelena was the only one who even looked me in the eye.”

“Ah, yes,” Sam muttered, leaning back. “Yelena.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Joaquin grinned. “She did have great posture.”

“And hair,” Y/N added before she could stop herself.

A pause.

She blinked.

Joaquin blinked.

Sam stared.

“And, um, a good sense of humor,” she said quickly. “Sharp wit. Surprisingly… eloquent?”

“You like her,” Joaquin said, eyes going wide with delight.

“No, I don’t.”

“You’re doing the thing,” he said, pointing at her. “You’re doing the voice. The Y/N voice. The one you use when you’re pretending you’re not into someone but your body is fully betraying you.”

“I am not—”

“She just called a deadly assassin with known war crimes ‘surprisingly eloquent,’” Sam deadpanned.

“I— okay!” Y/N threw her hands up. “Maybe I liked talking to her, okay? She actually challenged me. That never happens. She didn’t care who I was, or what my name was, or what designer made my dress— she met me at my level and pushed back.”

Another pause.

Y/N looked up slowly.

“...Did I just say that out loud?”

Joaquin was already halfway out of his seat, wheezing with laughter.

Sam just blinked. “So what you’re telling me is… the only intel you brought back from New York is a crush.”

“It’s not a crush.”

“Oh, my bad.” Sam stood, grabbing his coffee. “It’s an emotional entanglement with a hot murderer. Very different.”

Joaquin wiped tears from his eyes. “Stage fright. You choked, Stark.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “You know what, Torres? You’re banned from my birthday party.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“You’re seriously asking me to break protocol to get the number of a girl who literally broke into a NATO site two months ago?” Joaquin leaned on the desk, eyebrow raised.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, are you going to help me or not?”

“Depends,” he said, grinning. “Am I back on the guest list for your birthday party?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Ugh. Fine.”

“Honorary guest?”

“Whatever! Just find it!”

Joaquin opened his mouth to reply—when the door buzzer chimed. Y/N frowned, stepping out into the hallway where a uniformed courier waited.

“Package for Stark?”

She blinked. “That’s… me, yeah.”

She scribbled a signature, took the slim black box, and returned to the room, brow furrowed.

“More PR junk?” Joaquin called. “Tell me it’s not another custom fragrance. There’s no more room on the shelf.”

“No,” Y/N said slowly. “This is… weird.”

She set the box down, opened it—

—and froze.

Inside was a plain black burner phone. Old model. Clean. Untraceable.

Something small slipped out with it—a note.

Joaquin caught it before it hit the floor.

“‘You’ve made an impression, Stark. If you want to talk, you know what to do. — Y.B.’”

They both stared at the phone.

Then at each other.

“Holy shit,” Y/N whispered. “Joaquin. What the fuck do I do?!”

He was already jumping. “SHE WANTS YOU TOO!! She sent a burner phone, Y/N/N! That’s, like, secret assassin love language! You have to call her!”

“Well yes, obviously I will!”

She snatched the phone from the box, clutching it to her chest like she was trying to hide it.

Then she paused.

Her eyes widened.

“Sam can’t know about this.”

Joaquin blinked. “Why not?”

Y/N hesitated.

“I don’t want him to think this changes anything for me. I’m not switching sides. And honestly, Quino…” She looked down at the phone. “I don’t even want to use her for intel.”

Joaquin’s smile faded a little. “You’re serious.”

“I just want to talk to her. Like... really talk to her.” She looked up. “And if she’s playing me? I’ll know. I always know.”

“Yeah?” he asked, quiet. “And what if this is the one time you’re wrong?”

Y/N sighed. “Then I guess I’ll learn.”

A beat passed.

Then Joaquin nodded. “God, Y/N/N. If Sam finds out you didn’t tell him— he’s gonna be upset.”

“I know,” she said. “I’m gonna tell him. Just… not yet.”

Another pause.

“Neither will you.”

Joaquin looked at her, torn. But then— he reached over and closed the box, sealing it again.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” he said.

Y/N let out a slow breath. “Thanks, Quino.”

He grinned again. “Still want that number?”

She lifted the phone. “I think I’ve already got it, genius.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/N sat cross legged on her bed, the burner phone resting in the middle of her comforter.

For someone who could sweet talk CEOs and charm a room of Congressmen, she was weirdly nervous.

She took a deep breath, thumb hovered over the call button.

Then— click.

One ring.

Two.

“Stark,” a familiar voice answered, cool and amused.

Y/N blinked. “You sound surprised.”

“I figured you’d wait at least another day,” Yelena replied. “Let me stew a little.”

“Stewing’s not my thing,” Y/N said, letting her voice drip with practiced ease. “Wrinkles the skin.”

There was a pause, the sound of Yelena settling into something. A chair? A rooftop?

“You’re alone,” Yelena said.

“Good guess.”

“I’m not guessing.”

Y/N smirked, even though no one could see it. “Do you always psychoanalyze people at bedtime, or am I just lucky?”

“No,” Yelena said. “You’re just very easy to read.”

Y/N laughed. “You really think that?”

“I think you want me to think that.”

Another beat. It was more of a dance than a conversation. Every sentence a test. A check. A pull.

Then, Yelena’s voice softened. Just a little.

“I’m sorry about what I said last night. About the tower not being yours anymore.”

Y/N stilled.

Yelena continued, careful but honest. “I didn’t mean for it to hurt. I was just stating facts. I know what it’s like to want to call something your home… after floating for so long.”

There was a flicker of something in Y/N’s chest. Not anger. Not pain. Just— recognition.

Her fingers curled around the sheets.

“Why would you say I’ve been floating?”

“Sorry,” Yelena said. “I thought we were trying to be honest with each other.”

It wasn’t an accusation. Not even a challenge.

Just… curiosity.

Like she genuinely couldn’t understand how someone like Y/N Stark—rich girl, headline darling, America’s favorite heiress—could know anything about not belonging.

Y/N leaned back against her pillows, staring up at the ceiling.

“You think I belong here?” she asked, voice softer now. “You think I fit in at a military base playing junior spy with the Falcon and the new guy?”

“Torres is cute.”

“He eats flan for breakfast and calls me ‘dude.’ I’m not built for this.”

There was a small breath of laughter on the other end of the line.

“You’re better at it than you think,” Yelena said.

“I brought back zero intel.”

“You brought back me.”

That shut Y/N up for a second.

Then—

“Wow. Look at you. Flirting with me from three hundred miles away.”

“You called me,” Yelena pointed out.

“You sent a burner phone.” Y/N laughed again, tired but real. “You know that’s actually kind of romantic in a weird, morally grey way?”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

Another pause. This one was warm. Not heavy.

Then Yelena’s voice dropped, quieter now.

“You really didn’t know what you were looking for, did you?”

“Nope.”

“And you went anyway?”

“Of course I did,” Y/N said. “There was free champagne.”

Yelena hummed, amused. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I know.”

“But not floating anymore,” she added.

That caught Y/N off guard.

And she didn’t respond right away.

But she didn’t deny it, either.

“…Are you going to call me again?” Yelena asked, and it almost didn’t sound like a question.

Y/N closed her eyes, heart weirdly steady now.

“I think you already know the answer.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Three weeks.

Twenty one nights.

That’s how long it had been since the gala. Since Yelena in the black suit. Since a flirtation, a mission that should’ve fizzled out by midnight turned into... this.

A nightly ritual.

It always started the same: one of them would text first. Something sarcastic, maybe a cheeky photo (usually Y/N). Then the call. Never scheduled, never planned. But it always happened.

Now, Y/N lay sprawled across her bed, feet kicking the air absently as she stared at the ceiling. Her phone buzzed quietly beside her. She didn’t check it. She already knew who it was.

They hadn’t gone a single night without talking. Not one.

She wasn’t sure what that said about her.

Or Yelena.

All she knew was that this felt easy in a way nothing else had for a long time. The sarcasm, the back and forth, the way Yelena laughed when she wasn’t expecting to. The way she remembered the smallest details Y/N dropped without realizing like what her favorite perfume was, the song stuck in her head that morning, that she drank iced coffee even in the dead of winter.

Y/N liked the rhythm they’d found. Liked the safety of distance and phones and the simplicity of not defining what they are.

But she also hated it.

Because it wasn’t enough.

She wanted to see her again. In person. And that thought— wanting to go back— had been pacing in her chest for days now.

Her phone buzzed again. This time, she reached for it.

Yelena: ready to lose another argument?

Y/N smirked, heart already beating too fast.

She tapped the call button.

Y/N lay on her bed, one leg hanging off the side, phone pressed between her shoulder and ear as she lazily flipped through a fashion site she had no intention of buying anything from.

“Hi lovely.”

Yelena’s voice hummed on the other end, low and warm. “You sound tired.”

Y/N grinned at the ceiling. “You sound smug.”

A soft scoff. “Am I wrong?”

“You’re always a little wrong.”

Yelena chuckled under her breath. “It’s been a long week.”

“You say that every week.”

“That’s because it’s true every week.”

Y/N paused, let the quiet stretch. It was never awkward. Not with her. Not anymore.

“I was thinking,” Y/N said casually, like she hadn’t been planning the sentence for hours, “maybe I can come to New York again.”

The line went quiet.

Y/N stopped scrolling.

She waited.

“…You don’t have to,” Yelena finally said, soft and unreadable. “I mean— what are you going to tell Wilson?”

“I’ll figure something out,” Y/N said.

“And what if he finds out?”

Y/N smiled. “He already suspects. I can see it in his face.”

That pulled a quiet laugh from Yelena. But then—

“You do know we can’t… go anywhere, right?” Yelena said carefully. “No public dinners. No hand holding outside. No getting papped outside a bakery or whatever it is you rich girls do.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to convince me not to come?”

“No. I’m just making sure you understand what it means.”

There was something defensive in her tone— something scared, maybe. Like she couldn’t believe Y/N wanted this for real.

“…I don’t have to come,” Y/N offered gently. “If you don’t want me to.”

Silence.

“I just thought it’d be nice.”

Yelena exhaled. “Of course I want you to.”

Y/N’s heart tripped. “Then why are you giving me a whole disclaimer?”

“I’m making sure you have the logistics worked out,” Yelena said, voice almost teasing again. “That you know what coming here would mean.”

Y/N closed her laptop. Sat up.

“I know perfectly,” she said. “Do you?”

A beat.

“I do.”

“Good,” Y/N said, biting down her smile.

Yelena hummed. “Your attitude is getting worse with every phone call.”

“I think you like it.”

“I never said I didn’t.”

Y/N rolled onto her stomach, toes kicking at the edge of the bed. “So… we’re doing this?”

Yelena’s voice dropped low. “Pack a bag, Stark.”

A beat.

Then Y/N whispered, “Already did.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/N tugged her coat tighter around her shoulders as she stepped out of the car, heels clicking against the pavement. The building in front of her looked like any other boutique hotel— chic, understated, the kind of place rich people used when they didn’t want to be seen.

But of course, Y/N Stark didn’t do subtle.

She handed her bag to the concierge with a smile and made her way up, heart thudding louder with every floor.

By the time she knocked on the door, her stomach was fluttering— a feeling she hadn’t had since she was sixteen and some Stark intern– whose name she can’t even remember now– had kissed her on the tower balcony after sneaking out of a mission briefing.

The door opened.

Yelena stood there. Hair loose. Hoodie zipped halfway. Eyes unreadable.

Y/N blinked. “Wow.”

Yelena tilted her head. “You’re dressed like we’re going to dinner with the Queen.”

“Well, I thought we were doing the whole dramatic reunion thing. Maybe champagne. A slow fade to black. Is that not the vibe?”

“You lied to your team to see me?”

“I prefer ‘creative scheduling,’” Y/N said, brushing past her and into the room.

Yelena closed the door. “Does Wilson know?”

“God, no. He thinks I’m with Pepper and Morgan.” Y/N paused. “Joaquin knows, though. But only because he caught me trying to book my own jet and made fun of me until I caved.”

“Smart boy.”

Y/N turned. “Yelena…”

Their eyes met.

There was something electric in the air— unspoken, but thick and heavy.

“I’ve been thinking about this for the past few weeks,” Y/N said, stepping closer. “This moment. You. Us.”

Yelena didn’t move.

“And?” she asked quietly.

“And I want you to know,” Y/N said, “that I’m not confused. I’m not scared. I like you.”

Yelena exhaled. Slow. Controlled.

“Y/N…”

“I know you’re not ready. You don’t have to say it. You don’t even have to feel it yet.” Y/N’s voice cracked just slightly, but she kept going. “But I do. I’m in it. I don’t do things halfway. Especially not this.”

Yelena looked away.

Y/N reached for her hand—gently. Barely a touch.

“I don’t need you to like me back right now. I just need to know you’re not going to run.”

A long pause.

Yelena’s voice was low when she finally spoke.

“I’ve spent my whole life running from things that feel like this.”

“And?”

“I didn’t think this was something I’d get to have.”

Y/N smiled— small and sure. “Then take it.”

Yelena looked at her, jaw tight, eyes soft. Torn.

And then— she kissed her.

No hesitation.

Just years of silence and survival crashing into three weeks of want.

It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t messy. It was real.

When they broke apart, Yelena leaned her forehead against Y/N’s.

“I’m still learning,” she whispered.

Y/N nodded. “Good thing I’m an excellent teacher.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

The sheets were soft. Gold threaded. Egyptian cotton. Something outrageously overpriced that Y/N had offhandedly called “acceptable.”

The air smelled like vanilla, wine, and whatever expensive perfume Y/N had worn to the room and now left behind on Yelena’s skin. The window was cracked open just enough to let in the Brooklyn night air. It should’ve been cold, but the room was warm. Or maybe that was just her.

Yelena lay still, half curled on her side, fingers grazing the small of Y/N’s back. Y/N was lying next to her, hair fanned out against the pillow, lips swollen, cheeks flushed. She looked... peaceful.

And she was talking.

Not nervously. Not even trying to fill the silence. Just… talking.

“I don’t let myself feel like this. Not since— well. God, I really can’t even remember.”

Yelena didn’t respond. Just listened. Took her in like a photo she didn’t want to fade.

“But when I do feel things,” Y/N went on, voice quiet, “I usually convince myself they’re fleeting. Temporary. Just a passing obsession.”

She shifted, brushing Yelena’s wrist with the tip of her finger.

“But you don’t feel temporary.”

That made Yelena’s stomach twist.

“I think if I was going to hand my heart to someone,” Y/N continued, “if I was really going to let myself go there again… I’m glad it’s you.”

Yelena blinked slowly.

She wasn’t used to this.

To someone saying things like that out loud. To love not being a hidden thing, locked behind layers of deflection and contingency.

Y/N was doing everything right. Saying the words. Making the space. Choosing her. Unapologetically.

And it was terrifying.

Because Yelena could kill a man in sixteen ways with a pen cap, but she didn’t know how to hold something this delicate without breaking it. She didn’t trust her hands. Not with this.

She tightened her hold on Y/N’s hip instead, pressing a kiss to her shoulder to keep from saying something wrong.

Y/N sighed. Content.

Yelena stared up at the ceiling. Heart thudding. Mind spinning.

She wanted to believe it. She wanted to say me too. That she wanted this. That she’d already started imagining what it would feel like to be hers.

But all she could hear in the back of her mind was—

Don’t let anyone that close. Don’t trust it. Don’t get soft.

So instead, she stayed quiet.

She kissed the back of Y/N’s neck.

And Y/N smiled, assuming that meant everything was fine.

Yelena closed her eyes.

She hoped it would be.

She just didn’t know how to believe it yet.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/N was humming.

Not any particular tune. Just a soft, aimless melody as she padded barefoot across the carpet in an oversized robe and nothing else, swiping through the room service menu like she was solving a national crisis.

“I’m thinking french toast,” she said, glancing up at Yelena, who was still tangled in the sheets. “Or croissants. Do you like croissants? Wait, what am I saying— you’re Russian. You love dramatic European breakfasts.”

Yelena blinked slowly. “That’s… not a real thing.”

Y/N grinned. “If it’s in the movies then it’s real.”

She turned back to the phone, dialing room service like it was second nature. “Hi, yes— suite 1703. Can we do one bacon and egg croissant and an order of french toast? Extra espresso. And whatever your chef’s favorite pastry is. Surprise me.”

Yelena watched her, wordless.

Her golden girl.

Y/N Stark. Messy hair, soft skin, eyes still heavy with sleep and a sweet smile on her face. Rattling off her breakfast order, waving her hand while she complained about the quality of in room body wash, talking about her theory that Morgan was secretly running Stark Industries via email. All while moving around like she’d always belonged here. Like they belonged here.

It was dangerous, how much Yelena liked it.

Loved it.

The ease. The talking. The way Y/N said “we” without hesitation.

Like this wasn’t temporary. Like Yelena wasn’t temporary.

She glanced down at her hands.

Calloused. Scarred. Hands that had ended lives. Hands that had never learned how to hold anything gently.

Y/N tossed her phone on the bed and climbed in beside her, reaching over to brush a piece of hair off Yelena’s face.

“You’re staring.”

“You talk a lot in the morning.”

“Comes with the Stark brand,” Y/N said, snuggling into her side. “Also, I’m trying to make this normal. Like, domestic normal. Like coffee and breakfast and lipgloss on the sheets normal.”

Yelena didn’t move.

Y/N pulled back just slightly to look at her. “Too much?”

Yelena shook her head.

No. Not too much.

Too good.

Because in this room, she could almost forget who she was. What she’d done. The people she’d lost. The life she’d built from bone and blood and compromise. She could almost believe this was her future.

But the pit in her stomach said otherwise.

Because what could she give Y/N Stark?

Yelena Belova, the killer. The puppet. The weapon in Valentina’s pocket. The girl who’d only ever known survival.

This wasn’t survival.

This was wanting.

And that… was harder.

She reached for Y/N’s hand, lacing their fingers together under the covers. She didn’t say anything.

But Y/N felt it.

Felt the tension beneath her skin. The quiet retreat happening behind Yelena’s eyes.

“You’re thinking too loud,” she whispered.

Yelena forced a tiny smile. “Old habit.”

“You don’t have to run, you know,” Y/N added gently. “Not from me.”

Yelena looked at her.

And didn’t answer.

Because deep down, she still believed she didn’t deserve this. Even if she wanted it more than anything.

Room service had arrived in silver trays. The smell of buttery croissants and dark espresso filled the suite.

Y/N looked too pleased with herself as she arranged their plates on the bed like it was a five star Michelin picnic.

“Okay,” she declared, tucking a cloth napkin into her lap like royalty. “I ordered three different jams, a suspiciously expensive cappuccino, and enough carbs to kill a small god.”

Yelena, sitting back against the pillows, shook her head. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m committed to a vibe,” Y/N countered, reaching for a small bowl of berries. “Here.”

She held out a strawberry between her fingers, eyes glinting with mischief.

Yelena blinked at it.

Y/N wiggled it. “What? You’re not gonna let me feed you like some decadent, morally ambiguous Roman empress?”

“That’s a lot of adjectives,” Yelena muttered.

“And they’re accurate.”

Yelena rolled her eyes— but leaned forward, parting her lips slightly.

Y/N beamed, leaning in with the berry— and missed, accidentally brushing it against Yelena’s cheek.

Yelena froze.

Y/N gasped.

“Oh my God. I strawberried you.”

Yelena blinked, slowly reaching up to wipe the smear from her cheek.

Y/N looked devastated.

And then Yelena started laughing.

Not a scoff. Not a sarcastic exhale.

A real, bubbling laugh from deep in her chest. Warm and surprised and alive.

Y/N stared at her, stunned.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. “Are you— are you laughing right now? Is this a glitch in the matrix?”

Yelena tried to respond, but the sound only made her laugh harder, shoulders shaking as she buried her face in her hands.

Y/N lit up like a sunrise.

“I’m keeping that sound,” she said, reaching for another berry. “I’m recording it and making it my ringtone.”

“You’re so annoying,” Yelena mumbled, voice still caught between laughter and breathlessness.

“You love it.”

Yelena looked up, eyes soft. Smile still hovering around her lips.

“…Maybe I do.”

Y/N held up the berry again, this time more carefully.

Yelena leaned forward. Took it between her teeth.

No smudges this time.

No hesitation either.

Just soft hands. A small smile. The world outside forgotten for one golden, impossible morning.

And Yelena?

Yelena let herself have it.

Even if just for now.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Yelena stood at the window, one arm wrapped loosely around herself, the other nursing a cup of bitter hotel coffee. Her hair was still messy from sleep.

Behind her, Y/N was zipping up her overnight bag, already dressed in wide sunglasses and a coat that looked custom made to scream “no pictures, please.”

“I’ll text you when I’m done at Pepper’s,” she said, brushing past to grab her phone. “We’ll meet up before I leave.”

Yelena didn’t turn around.

“If you can’t… that’s okay,” she said softly.

Y/N stopped mid step.

She looked up, brows furrowed. “Why would I not?”

Yelena shrugged, sipping her coffee. “Things happen.”

Y/N squinted at her. “That’s not really my style. If I say I’m gonna do something, I’m doing it.”

“I’m just saying— don’t feel like you have to.”

“I don’t,” Y/N said simply. “I want to.”

Yelena finally looked at her.

And Y/N stepped in close, wrapping her arms around Yelena’s waist. She leaned in, pressing a slow kiss to her lips. Not rushed, not casual. Intentional.

When they parted, Y/N rested her forehead against Yelena’s.

“I’ll see you before I go.”

Yelena gave her a faint, guarded smile. “Okay.”

Y/N kissed her once more, quick and sweet, then pulled away.

“Don’t miss me too much,” she teased as she walked out the door.

But Yelena just stood there long after it shut behind her.

Because she already did.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

The sun filtered through the windshield as the car drove down the long familiar driveway. The gates had already opened, recognizing her plates. Home. Or something like it.

Y/N leaned back in the driver’s seat, lip gloss smudged, heart still pleasantly tangled with the last few hours. She could still smell Yelena on her skin.

Her phone buzzed.

Sam.

Y/N stared at the screen for half a second too long.

“…Shit.”

She tapped accept, swiped to speaker.

“Hey!” she said quickly, too quickly. “Didn’t expect to hear from you so soon.”

There was a pause on the other end. Then Sam’s voice, even.

“You at Pepper’s now?”

“Yep! Got here yesterday morning.”

Y/N’s voice was a little too bright as she slowed the car up the driveway. She winced, switching the call to speaker as she fumbled to put the car in park.

“Morgan’s really tall now, like weirdly tall. I asked her if she’s been sneaking gamma juice when no one’s looking.”

“Uh huh,” Sam said, voice flat. “You didn’t text when you got there yesterday.”

“Oh, I know. Sorry— my phone died. We were just hanging out, catching up. No screens. Total girl time.”

“You, no screens?” Sam asked, suspicious.

Y/N let out a fake laugh. “Okay, yeah, it was horrifying at first. But it’s been nice. Y’know. Nostalgic.”

She was out of the car now, walking up the path, heels clicking against stone. She tried not to let her nerves slip into her voice.

“I’ll probably stay one more night. Just to get more time with them.”

“You sound good.”

“I am good,” she said quickly. “Really good.”

She reached the door. Took a breath.

And opened it.

The living room was warm, familiar, sunlit.

And sitting on the couch—

Was Pepper.

And Sam.

Side by side.

Waiting.

Y/N froze.

The silence stretched like glass.

“…Hey, Y/N/N,” Sam said quietly, from the couch as he hung up the call.

Y/N’s hand dropped from the doorknob.

Pepper didn’t look mad. She looked worried.

Which was worse.

“Sam just got here,” she said gently. “About twenty minutes ago.”

Y/N blinked.

Her mouth opened. Then closed.

Sam set his phone down on the coffee table.

“I tried really hard to believe you,” he said. “I wanted to. I was hoping you’d be a better liar than that.”

Y/N's throat burned.

“I was going to come,” she said, voice small. “I was.”

Pepper rose, crossing the room.

But Y/N stepped back.

“I was just— I needed a day.”

Pepper stopped.

Sam said nothing.

The silence was worse than any yelling.

Because it wasn’t about the lie.

It was about why she lied.

It was about who she’d been with.

Y/N’s bag slid off her shoulder with a soft thud as it hit the floor.

Her eyes bounced between them— Pepper’s concern, Sam’s unreadable expression. She suddenly felt very small. Very exposed.

“I wasn’t in danger,” she said, quieter now. “You don’t have to look at me like I’m some— some asset gone off script.”

“That’s not what this is,” Sam said.

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Y/N,” Pepper started, gentle, “you’re not in trouble.”

“Then why do I feel like I am?” she snapped, too fast, too defensive. Her hands shook a little as she crossed her arms. “Why are you both sitting here like I committed treason?”

“You didn’t commit treason,” Sam said carefully. “You just… disappeared. Lied. Spun a story. And you did it right before a possible intel drop— after a classified mission you were looped in on.”

“I wasn’t looped in. I was sent to a party in a pretty dress with zero direction.”

“You were our eyes inside.”

“I was a pawn,” Y/N bit out. “You didn’t want intel. You wanted Stark optics. You used my name to get a foot in Valentina’s door.”

Sam’s jaw tensed.

She wasn’t wrong.

Pepper finally moved closer again, slow and soft, like Y/N was a spooked animal.

“I get it,” she said. “You needed space. You wanted something for yourself. But Y/N/N… you can’t disappear. Not like that. Not without saying anything. Especially when things are so tense.”

“I was going to see you,” Y/N repeated, voice cracking now. “I just— there was someone I had to see first.”

Sam didn’t say her name.

But he didn’t have to.

“You came to see her.”

Y/N’s breath caught.

Pepper looked down.

And that silence settled in again.

Heavy. Unspoken. Loaded.

“She was the only one who talked to me at that damn gala,” Y/N said, trying to hold her ground, even as her voice trembled. “Everyone else avoided me.”

“You weren’t sent there to make friends.”

“I wasn’t trying to make friends. I wasn’t trying to fall for her either, if that’s what you’re both wondering.” Her arms tightened around herself. “It just happened.”

Sam stood now. Still calm. Still unreadable. But his voice held something harder beneath it.

“She works for Valentina.”

“I know.”

“She’s dangerous.”

“I know, Sam.”

“Then why are you acting like she’s not?”

That hit harder than she expected.

Y/N’s voice dropped, almost a whisper. “Because when I’m with her, I feel—”

She stopped.

Sam waited.

Pepper watched her carefully.

Y/N blinked against the heat rising in her eyes.

“…I feel safe.”

Sam exhaled through his nose. “And what happens when she’s ordered to hurt you? What happens when you’re the mission?”

“I’ll handle it.”

He shook his head. “You’re not trained for that.”

“Well, I guess that makes two of us who fell into something without training, huh?”

Sam didn’t rise to it. He just looked at her like he was tired. And hurt.

Not angry. Not betrayed.

Worried.

The kind of worry that meant he cared.

Which, somehow, made her feel worse.

“I’ll pack my things,” Y/N muttered, finally breaking eye contact. “I’m assuming I’m grounded or… revoked or whatever the hell it is you do.”

“You’re not a prisoner, Y/N/N,” Sam said quietly. “But actions have consequences. For you. For her. For everyone.”

“I know that.”

“Then start acting like it.”

Y/N didn’t answer.

She just turned away, slowly walking down the hall.

And when she got to the guest room, she shut the door, leaned back against it and finally let the first tear fall.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺

author's note: guys this is gonna be like 5 parts max!!! my first yelena fic im so freaking excited i love her sm. did you guys peep that peter mention? LOL

this is vaguely inspired by i love you by fontaines d.c. and jocelyn by the beaches! great songs go listen pls omg

omg have you guys noticed that i title eveything after a song? like i literally anything else feels wrong. except for clueless that's like its own thing.

LET ME KNOW WHAT YALL THINK PLS IT'S MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR OUR GIRL

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prettydaisygirl · 3 months ago

Text

just like that! (streamer!James Potter x influencer/pornstar!reader): part two

stream title: playing GTA V with @yourusername | !podcast

🎧 cupid's chokehold/breakfast in america - gym class heroes

a/n: this is part two of a series I am writing with @twovialsofamortentia <3 part one is linked at the beginning of the chapter or above where it says !podcast. PS I hope it's not super obvious that I've never played GTA myself and I am only a casual fan, sorry :)

cw: NSFW 18+, streamer lingo, streamer!James being horny, reader makes twitter porn and has a sex podcast, James built a second setup so they can play together, Grand Theft Auto 5 and all associated warnings, reader is not good at games but is very enthusiastic, oral (m)

part one

streamer!James Potter Masterlist & series masterlist

°˖✧✿✧˖°

James is fucking nervous. Probably more nervous than he’s ever been in his life and of course it’s over a fucking girl.

But this isn’t just any girl. She’s the girl. The girl whose pictures he’d jerked off to for most of his teenage years. The girl who he’d imagined in almost every fantasy since the first time he saw what her tits looked like.

The girl who is coming over to his house right fucking now.

He’d cleaned the house from top to bottom three times. James wouldn’t consider himself a slob, but he’s certainly not a neat freak. He just doesn’t want her to think he’s gross, he really doesn’t want to fuck this up. In his journey to impress her, he found himself cleaning parts of his house he didn’t even know existed. He’d exhausted himself to the bone the last few days, fueled by anxiety and the chance to (maybe, possibly, someday) fuck his favorite pornstar.

So now, everything is done, the minutes tick by and James sits on his couch with his leg shaking as he chews on his nails. His eyes are dialed in on the street, and he spots the moment your car pulls up.

He jumps up, opening the front door before you even have a chance to knock.

“Hi,” He says, and his voice cracks in the most embarrassing way. He watches you adjust your bag on your shoulder, a light smirk appearing on your pretty lips. God, those lips.

“Hi, handsome,” You greet, pushing past him to enter his house. He watches as you take everything in, and seeing you in his house takes his breath away.

He shows you around, eyes hardly leaving your figure at all. You seem to brighten excitedly when he shows you the stream setup.

“Oh! It’s not that different from the pod!” You say, flipping your hair over one shoulder as you lean over and reach out to touch his mic stand. His eyes trail drown your body again and he swallows thickly, his hands itching to reach out and touch you.

“Hey,” Your voice interrupts his thoughts, teasing and light. Your eyes are glowing with delight when James’ finally raise back up to meet them, and James finds himself turning bright red. He clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck, and looks at the streaming setup to avoid looking at you.

“L-Let’s just get ready for stream, we only have about an hour…”

stream title: playing GTA V with @yourusername

“Alright, love. This joystick moves you forward, and this one you can look around.” James explains, pointing to each knob on the controller.

You sit cross-legged in his spare gaming chair, nodding at his instructions despite the confused upturn of your eyebrows. “Okay, but how do I shoot my gun?”

James snorts, pointing to one of the buttons on the controller. “Here. But don’t go around just shooting because-”

You’re already shooting. You laugh, almost maniacally, as bullets fly and hit random cars and NPCs. You get three stars almost immediately. James glances at you out of the corner of his eye, lips pursed as he holds in his own laughter. His chat seems to love you already.

prongsupmyahs: yooo is that yourusername??? 🤤 f3r4lb1t6h: her laugh lmaoooo better than her moan too maraudersfan420: you’re doing great, sweatie

James sets the two of you up to try a heist mission. You spend far too long planning your heist outfit, and James lets you while he stares at you with heart-shaped eyes. The chat bullies him relentlessly, especially after you catch him staring and send him a wink.

wormtail4mepls: omg??? 👀 00_robin: y’all fucking or what prongsupmyahs: hey notice me yourusername pls baby I could make you so happy

“Wait!” You gasp while James is speeding down the road on the way to start the mission. “Stop! Stop!” James does, he slams on the brakes and watches as your character climbs out of the car. His eyes dart over to your monitor, watching as your character sprints in the direction you just came from.

Your face breaks into a mischievous grin, eyes alight with mischief. “You didn’t tell me there would be a strip club!”

James is forced to follow you into the club, watching as your character explores each room. You whoop and cat-call at the virtual strippers, which has chat going wild. It gets worse when one of the strippers does a move on the pole that has your head tilting and your lips parting in a way that leaves James breathless.

“I think I could do that.” You say. James thinks he might die if you try, and chat clearly feels the same.

rayzorrai: holy fuck prongsupmyahs: do it i will literally do anything plz 🙏 timl0ng_: hi prongs, hi chat, helloooo yourusername 😜

When he finally wrangles you into doing the mission, several hundred dollars wasted at the club and another outfit change later, he learns that you are simultaneously completely dedicated to the mission and also so easily distracted.

The two of you have to restart the mission dozens of times, either because of you dying or because of you killing an NPC that you shouldn’t. If it was anyone else, James would be so frustrated he would be ripping out his hair. But it’s you, and so he finds himself smiling and laughing and enjoying it all the same. He’s happy to be sitting next to you.

The chat loves it too, obviously. Some mock your poor gaming skills, but most find your enthusiasm (and cleavage) makes up for the lack of direction or actual progress. James finds himself completing the mission mostly alone, while you run around trying to shoot at things.

He can’t help but adore you more and more every second.

When that “Mission: Passed” screen finally pops up, James doesn’t have a chance to celebrate. Because you are already celebrating. You stand, cheering loudly and shaking your ass in a way that makes James’ jaw drop and he immediately gets hard. Everyone in chat is too given the amount of messages flying by.

myb4biPads: 🥵🥵🥵put that on twitter prongsupmyahs: saved a clip for later cxtxkem13: 💸cheer100 💸cheer100 💸cheer100 💸cheer100 💸

You finally sit down, brushing your hair off of your shoulders as you lift yourself to cross your legs underneath you. You give James a bright grin. “Back to the strip club!”

“The strip club?” James raises a brow.

“It’s not a real victory unless we get bitches, James.”

James watches as you readjust your bag on your shoulder, heading for the front door. He doesn’t want you to go, obviously. His chat loves you, already begging him to have you on again. At the end, someone even sent in a donation suggesting you join the marauders on their next game night.

“Oh!” You’d said, “Yes, your friends! They should come on the podcast!” All of his followers seemed excited at the idea, and you promised you’d invite on the entire Marauders crew to spill all of their dirtiest sex secrets.

“Are you really going to have the boys on?” James asks now, and you tilt your head up to look at him. He inhales sharply, his heart skipping a beat. Sometimes your face will move a certain angle and his brain will be flooded with images of you naked, hips grinding, your head tilted just like that.

“Yeah!” You say, completely unaware of his dilemma, “I think that would be fun! Don’t you think?”

“Um… yeah!” James tries to sound enthusiastic but all of the blood in his body is rushing to his cock and away from his brain. You notice, the corner of your mouth raising just a bit.

“You alright?” You ask him, eyes scanning over him as you seem to so easily figure him out. You read him like a book, like it's second nature.

“It’s just…” He swallows thickly, “sometimes I look at you and I can’t help but see you… you know.”

“Naked? Covered in sweat and fucking myself on a dildo?”

“Jesus!” James chokes on his own spit, starting to cough. You’re so forward, he never gets used to it.

“I know, it's okay!” Your smile is sweet, but there’s a glint in your eyes that has his stomach churning, especially when they trail down his body again. “Do you… want help with that?”

The whole world stops. James is sure he really did die.

“You- I- Huh?”

You chuckle, a hand coming up to your mouth for a moment as your eyes meet his again. “Do you want me to blow you?”

“Are you serious?” James feels like he’s having an out of body experience when you nod and smile.

“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t serious.” You say.

“Holy fuck, yes.” James finds himself dizzy when you take his hand and lead him to the couch, kneeling between his legs. You pause.

“Do you have your phone?” You ask softly as you reach for the button on his pants. It takes him a moment to register your words, his brain overwhelmed.

“Uh- Yeah, I… I think.” He chokes out.

“Film it, so you can watch it again later.” You say, lowering the zipper and maneuvering to free his cock from his boxers. “Just for you, though. No sharing.”

James’ hands shake as he digs his phone out from his back pocket. He has to lift his hips and you raise your brows, a teasing smile on your lips, giving him that look he knows he could picture with his eyes closed.

“Jesus, fuck.” He manages to press record and he hopes his hands aren’t shaking so bad that he won’t get every detail. Because he’s going to rewatch this so many times, he’ll rub his dick raw.

You spit on your hand, wrapping it around the base, and smile up at him. He’s already leaking just from him looking at you like this. His breaths start to get shaky as your hand slowly begins to pump up and down the shaft. When you lean forward to lick his cock, tracing a vein with your tongue, his head falls back against the couch. He’ll be forever grateful that you suggested he record this.

You gently wrap your lips around the head of him, tongue tracing over the tip. James hisses and his hips buck just a bit.

“Sorry,” He says instinctually, really trying not to fuck this up.

“‘s alright, baby,” You pull back just enough to reassure him, and James lets out a whine, biting his lip so he won’t cum just from you calling him baby.

You take him into your mouth slowly, relaxing your throat as you push forward until your nose is against his pelvis before pulling back. You begin a slow rhythm, bobbing your head while sucking your cheeks in. The fingers of his free hand tangle in your hair, broken whimpers and almost-sobs leaving his lips.

“Shit, ah- you feel so good.” His hips jerk a bit again and you hum at the unexpected movement, but don’t choke. The vibration makes James hiss, and he grips his phone so tight in his hand that he has white knuckles, capturing the whole thing.

You quicken your pace, tongue swirling around him as your fingers move to fondle his balls, gently squeezing and playing with them. James’ mouth is open, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as he tugs at your hair. He tries to watch, he really does, but it feels so fucking good and a lot of his focus is set on keeping the camera on you. He doesn’t seem to have much control over the rest of himself.

“Ahh, mmmh,” James’ hips buck up into your mouth, his face contorting into a silent sob. Every nerve in his body is on high-alert, and he can feel himself getting close.

“‘m gonna cum,” His words come out just as whiny as his moans, about two octaves higher than normal. “Where… Where should I…?” He lets his question trail off as his eyes roll back again. His peak is approaching so fast, and then you pull away. He lurches himself to sit up, worried he did something wrong, but you’re still between his legs.

“Where do you want to cum, James?” You ask, and the sound of your voice will haunt him every night for the rest of his life. He can’t help but shiver, hissing as he holds back his release just a little longer.

“I…” He shakes his head, curls sticking to his sweaty forehead. “On your tits.”

You smile with a knowing look, easily tugging off your shirt. The sight of you, in your bra, kneeling between his legs, is enough to do it for him. He finishes as soon as your hand returns to him, hips thrusting into your fingers as the thick whiteness of his cum lands over your boobs. He groans your name, just like he used to in the shower.

When his ears finally stop ringing, you’re cleaning yourself up. You smile at him, then stand, leaning over him to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. James manages to end the recording and stand up right as you’re approaching the front door again.

“You’ll have to get your friends to agree to the pod.” You tell him, leaning back against the door for a moment. “Mostly so I have an excuse to see you again.”

“I will,” James says, and there’s a moment before he moves forward, a hand coming to your lower back as he presses his lips to yours. Softly, and just for a moment. You blink up at him with eyes so pretty after he pulls away that his heart aches.

“I really like you.” He says, holding the front door open for you as you step outside. You blow him a kiss.

“I know.” You say, giving him a wink and a wave as you step out of his front door. “I’ll be waiting for your call.”

°˖✧✿✧˖°

#daisy's writings #with twovialsofamortentia #james potter #streamer!james potter #streamer!marauders #james potter au #james potter smut #james potter x reader #james potter fic #photos from pinterest #james potter drabble #hp marauders #james potter fluff #james potter x fem!reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter x self insert #marauders au #marauders fanfic

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tryingtofindava · 3 months ago

Text

── 𝐌𝐲 𝐃𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥

A Twitch streamer and a YouTube vlogger start interacting online, and the internet can’t look away.

a/n: this is modern day tlou au, these are just headcanons but I might make this a series :P

: ̗̀➛Back to source

{[Streamer!Ellie x Vlogger!Reader]}

╰┈➤ 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

You first take notice of Ellie when you come across one of her twitch clips while doomscrolling on TikTok.

It’s a clip of her absolutely raging after losing a game in the funniest, most unhinged way. You watch it three times because her reactions are hilarious and weirdly charming.

You don’t even realize she’s a big streamer. You just think, “Who is this angry little goblin and why is she so entertaining?”

So you fall down a mini rabbit hole, watching her highlights, and funny clip compilations, then finding her Twitch.

You start putting her own for background noise while you edit your vlog videos. Of course having to turn the volume down when you do voice overs, though you can always hear her tuned town voice yelling as she keyboard smashes.

One day you comment on her TikTok post,

Xx.y/n_l/n.xX: You’re the human version of a broken controller and I love it.

And Ellie is IMMEDIATELY interested in you, since she doesn’t really ever have verified accounts comment on her videos who aren’t her other streamer friends.

Ellie recognizes your username, vivid memory of your overly cutesy vlogs popping up on her YouTube feed as she searches for new games.

Ellie likes and replies,

RageSaurusRex: Takes one to know one

On stream, she casually mentions you, “Apparently some YouTube vlogger called me a broken controller… solid first impression.”

After that, you both lowkey stalk each other’s content. Ellie watches a few of your vlogs while pretending she isn’t invested. She especially likes your get ready with me posts. While you still watch her chaotic Twitch streams, trying not to laugh out loud when she accidentally says something stupid.

The mutual stalking goes wild.

In a random Twitch stream, you pop into her chat and she immediately notices. “Wait. No way. Xx.y/n_l/n.xX is in my chat? Mods, behave.” It’s playful, but her ears turn red.

Safe to say her chat went crazy as she perfectly pronounced your user with no thought at all, perfectly memorised.

Ellie slides into your DMs after the stream, casual at first… well, casual to Ellie’s standards anyways… sending you memes so unfunny they turn out hilarious and it quickly spirals into an ongoing conversation that never really stops.

╰┈➤ 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩

Ellie’s streams are mostly chaotic, she likes playing bloody and violent video games, with lots of graphic content. But if you ask her to play more relaxing games she hops on that shit so fast you have no idea.

Suddenly the games she plays on stream are more chilled out, but she somehow makes peaceful games rage inducing. Though she still likes to play her violent games… she likes to throw in some Animal Crossing and A little to the left, just for you.

And you start mentioning her in your vlogs, maybe you are filming a ‘find stuff at the thrift with me’ video, and come across a guitar, Savage Starlight comic, and dinosaur plush and casually mention your online friend liking that stuff.

And your viewers IMMEDIATELY know who you’re referring to. This is the moment where fanbases start to merge.

Everyone goes crazy when Ellie calls you on stream to invite you to play a co-op game, and who are you to say no?

The first few minutes of gameplay are filled with awkward jokes, Ellie trash talking her own gameplay as she mines, and both of you getting caught up in a whirlwind of laughter.

By the end of the stream, fans are already making jokes about you two being ‘that couple’ even though you’re just starting out as gaming buddies.

So now you and Ellie have a little series on her Twitch channel of your guys cute modded Minecraft world.

After the collab, Ellie occasionally drops little comments during her streams, like, “Oh, don’t worry, I’ll let Y/n win this round. I’m that nice.” Her fans eat it up. They tease her, ‘Are you just trying to impress them?’ and Ellie plays along, dramatically rolling her eyes. It’s all an inside joke, but the fans are certain something more is brewing.

You and Ellie have this natural, easy back and forth relationship. Teasing, bickering, laughing at anything and everything. Feels totally unforced too.

Viewers eat it up, clipping every little moment where you two banter like an old married couple and the editors go crazy editing your cutest and funniest movements.

You guys get close very quickly, though you are complete opposites, you guys get on so well. And your viewers notice this, clipping every moment you two mention each other on your channel or her streams. Making cute compilation videos.

Makes people question if you two could maybe be more?

After the first few collabs, you and Ellie start messaging off-stream more often than you did originally. Late-night Discord calls, sending each other dumb memes, casually complaining about trolls and the stress of your uploading schedule … until it starts feeling weirdly personal and real.

You and Ellie fall into a natural rhythm of playful teasing. If Ellie messes up, you’re quick to call her out, “I’m pretty sure I could’ve done that with my eyes closed.” And she comes right back with, “Maybe you should! It’d be an improvement!” There’s no real tension, it’s all fun and games.

But fans definitely start noticing how comfortable you two are with each other.

Off-camera, Ellie is way softer. She sends you voice notes with her raspy laugh, asks you for recommendations for songs she should cover with her guitar on live, and lowkey gets jealous if she sees you post content with someone else.

The line between online friends and something more gets messier every day. Little inside jokes turn into flirty comments. Your chats get longer. Your smiles get a little too genuine on camera.

You’re in the middle of an co-op, and Ellie jokes, “You know, I think we’d make a great team… in life.” Your response? “Right, as long as you promise not to scream my ears off.” Chat erupts. Clips start circulating of the back-and-forth, with comments like ‘Are they secretly dating or just the most iconic duo ever?’

Sometimes, mid stream, there’s this tiny pause after you say something sweet, Ellie wants to say something but doesn’t. And chat definitely notices how her freckles cheeks get a bit more rosy.

Also, even when you two aren’t playing together she always somehow manages to bring you up. She casually mentions your name in her streams, “I was playing with Y/n the other night, and you know, they almost didn’t completely suck. Almost.” Her chat immediately lights up with comments like ‘Aww, they’re cute’ and ‘is this wuh luh wuh?’.

Yeah, you guys definitely could be something more.

╰┈➤ 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐞

And people ship you guys so hard, everyone in her chat always asks about when she’ll stream a Minecraft video with you again they practically demand it, and she always laughs it off saying something along the lines of: “She’s got her own channel to take care of, chat. Go watch her vlogs if you miss her.”

A few fan edits appear, showcasing moments when you and Ellie are too comfortable with each other. One fan edit has a side-by-side of you two laughing, with the text “When you realize you’re lowkey in love with your gaming partner.” The comments go wild, including one that reads, “They’re definitely dating, there’s no way they’re not.”

They start shipping you two so much that the hashtag #EllieAndY/n quickly trends on Twitter, even though you two are just friends… for now.

People go crazy when you guys comment on each others instagram posts, especially when she calls you pretty on your most recent post. Your fanbases start colliding faster than expected. The crossover is hilarious, with Ellie’s followers getting curious about your YouTube content, and your subscribers discovering her Twitch streams.

Fans put together compilation videos of the ‘cutest moments’ between you two, including Ellie pretending to be offended when you win a round, her leaning into the mic to yell your name in a faux-dramatic way, and both of you staying up past midnight to finish a game. The fans add text like ‘#CoupleGoals’ and ‘Best. Duo. Ever.’

A flood of fanfiction starts to appear in your comment sections, all based around you and Ellie being an unlikely couple. One fanfic is called ‘Unlikely Duet’ where you two play games and bicker, but end up falling for each other after a series of increasingly ridiculous gaming mishaps. Readers comment things like, ‘If they’re not together in real life, I’m going to riot.’

╰┈➤ 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐑𝐋

People start speculating on how you posted on Instagram a photo of you at the airport, theorising how you could potentially be letting each other??? Maybe???

Of course they were right.

Ellie starts one of her streams where she just talks to her viewers, and it’s only a few minutes in when she announces she has a special guest.

And pulls you into frame on an old spare gaming chair she has. Her chat goes CRAZY. Even some of your viewers joining her stream.

The stream lasted only half an hour before she ended it. And it mostly consisted of you two giggling and smiling at each other as you talk about random stuff.

Not even two days later you list on your YouTube a vlog titled, ‘Travel with me to Seattle’.

And the blog consisted of you travelling the first few minutes, until you finally meet Ellie in person, giving each other a big hug. (imagine the cutesy edits).

The rest of the video is you and her meeting some of her friends while you film everything cool you could find in Seattle. Until you end it in her film room.

Now, after maybe half a year of just speaking online you guys do everything you can while you’re with each IRL.

Posting on instagram, taking photos together.

Getting on with her friends, Jesse and Dina, who when you aren’t around, tease her about you. Safe to say Ellie may have developed a little crush…

“You’re set up is way cleaner then I thought it would be.” You casually mention as you look at her fancy gaming set up. “You thought it’d be messy?” She laughs at you, nudging you as she lets you play some of her games. (She won’t tell you she cleaned her whole apartment for you staying over for a week.)

When she’s dropping you off at the airport to go home she gives you a big hug that lasted a little too long for friends..

“I can’t wait to do this again.” You whisper in her ear, arms around her neck, your suitcase and bag carelessly left on the ground as you say your goodbyes. She let out a chuckle, shaking her head. “Yeah, me too.” Her freckled cheeks heat up.

And after your year long online friendship, and a whole week of being together in person, you guys share your first kiss in the airport.

It was just a complete coincidence when one of her viewers recognises you two and takes a sneaky photo and post it on twitter.

WAIT STOP I LOVED WRITING THIS SM!!! SHOULD I DO MORE BUT ITS THE START OF THE RELATIONSHIP???

#MY DIGITAL JOURNAL*ೃ༄#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x female reader #tlou x reader #streamer!ellie #streamer Ellie Williams

462 notes · View notes

txrully · 5 months ago

Text

STREAM ON

·˚ ༘ ꒱ summary what it's like dating a streamer

·˚ ༘ ꒱ characters isagi yoichi , bachira meguru , itoshi rin , nagi seishiro , mikage reo , chigiri hyoma , shidou ryusei , michael kaiser , alexis ness

·˚ ༘ ꒱ ISAGI YOICHI — THE SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND

"chat, i swear, i'm gonna beat this boss today. just watch."

you were fully focused on your game when your door creaked open. in walked isagi, holding a bag of snacks and grinning at the camera.

"yo, chat," he greeted, plopping down next to you. "how’s my favorite streamer doing?"

"struggling," you groaned. "this boss is kicking my ass."

"isn’t that, like, every game?" he teased, earning an eye-roll from you and a wave of 'L + ratio' spam from chat.

but then he leaned in, resting his chin on your shoulder. "you got this, babe," he murmured. "i believe in you."

> ISAGI SUPPORTIVE BF ERA??

> GET YOU A MAN WHO HYPES YOU UP LIKE THIS 🙏

> he’s so whipped omg

and when you actually won, isagi kissed your temple, grinning. "told ya."

> WITNESSED TRUE LOVE LIVE ON STREAM 🛐

> I’M THIRD-WHEELING SO HARD RN

·˚ ༘ ꒱ BACHIRA MEGURU — THE CHAOTIC COLLAB PARTNER

"ALRIGHT CHAT, TODAY WE’RE PLAYING A HORROR GAME WITH MY BOYFRIEND—"

"BOO!" bachira suddenly yelled, grabbing your shoulders from behind.

you screamed, nearly falling out of your chair while chat went absolutely feral.

> LMAOOO GET REKT

> BACHIRA U MENACE

> 10/10 JUMPSCARE

bachira cackled, clearly proud of himself. "chat, that was too easy."

"i hate you," you huffed, clutching your heart.

but when the actual jumpscare happened in-game, he was the one who screamed like a banshee, clutching onto you for dear life.

> KARMAAA

> y/n’s turn to laugh LMAO

> man folded like a lawn chair

yeah, streaming with bachira was pure chaos.

·˚ ༘ ꒱ ITOSHI RIN — THE RELUCTANT APPEARANCE

"alright chat, i have a special guest today," you said, smirking.

behind you, rin sat on your bed, arms crossed. "i didn’t agree to this."

"too bad," you grinned, dragging your chair next to him.

> NO WAY RIN ON STREAM??

> he looks like he’s being held hostage 😭

rin sighed. "what do i even do?"

"answer chat’s questions!"

someone asked, "does rin watch y/n’s streams?"

he scoffed. "obviously."

> OH???

> whipped.

> rin secretly being a fanboy is killing me

he rolled his eyes, but the slight blush on his face said everything.

·˚ ༘ ꒱ NAGI SEISHIRO — THE UNINTENTIONAL VIRAL CLIP

"chat, i swear, nagi is the biggest baby when he's sleepy," you said, setting up your stream.

right on cue, nagi—half-asleep and disheveled—wandered into the room, mumbling, "y/n… bed’s cold."

> BRO JUST WOKE UP

> HE LOOKS LIKE A LOST PUPPY

he sleepily flopped onto your lap, arms wrapping around your waist. "m’sleepy…"

"nagi, i’m live—"

"don’t care. wanna cuddle."

> NO WAY

> SOMEONE CLIP THIS RN

> WE LOST THEM GUYS 💀

that clip ended up going viral, with the caption: "when your gamer bf is actually just a clingy cat."

·˚ ༘ ꒱ REO MIKAGE — THE SPONSORSHIP

"guys, i have to do this sponsorship ad, but i suck at them," you admitted.

reo, sitting beside you, smirked. "don’t worry, babe, i got you."

he smoothly picked up the product and went full businessman mode.

"this, chat, is the best energy drink on the market. clinically proven to make your gaming skills at least 50% better."

> REO CEO ERA

> THIS MAN IS BUILT FOR ADS

> did bro call us noobs

he turned to you. "and if you buy it now, you might just win a date with y/n."

"reo—"

> I’M BUYING 10

> MARRY ME INSTEAD??

reo winked. "sorry, y/n’s already mine."

you facepalmed. ( this wasn't the first time )

·˚ ༘ ꒱ CHIGIRI HYOMA — THE SOFT LAUNCH FAIL

chigiri had never officially appeared on your streams before. but one day, you leaked your relationship.

"chat, i have a boyfriend," you said casually.

suddenly, your door opened, and chigiri peeked in. "babe, have you seen my—"

you froze. he froze. the silence was LOUD.

> WAIT WHO WAS THAT??

> DID WE JUST GET A FACE REVEAL??

chigiri blinked. "…was that live?"

"…yeah."

> CONGRATS ON THE HARDEST SOFT LAUNCH FAIL EVER

·˚ ༘ ꒱ SHIDOU RYUSEI — THE CHAOTIC FLIRT

"chat, this is my boyfriend, shidou—"

"sup, losers," shidou grinned, throwing an arm around you.

> BRO CALLED US LOSERS 😭

> TOXIC BF ERA

"so what’s this stream about? me showing y/n how much i love them?" he smirked.

"no, it’s just a normal—"

shidou suddenly leaned in, whispering something in your ear. your face turned red instantly.

> “WHAT DID HE SAY???”

> “WE NEED SUBTITLES”

shidou just winked at the camera. "not telling~"

·˚ ༘ ꒱ MICHAEL KAISER — THE SMUG CAMEO

"y/n, why is your chat so obsessed with me?" kaiser asked, peeking over your shoulder.

"because you won’t stop photobombing my streams?"

> EXACTLY

> HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING

kaiser smirked. "can you blame them? i mean, look at me."

you shoved him playfully. "get your egotistical ass outta here."

> Y/N HUMBLING HIM DAILY

kaiser just laughed. "admit it, babe, your viewers love me."

unfortunately, chat agreed.

·˚ ༘ ꒱ ALEXIS NESS — THE SUPPORTIVE MOD

ness wasn’t just your boyfriend—he was also your mod.

"chat, behave or ness will ban you," you teased.

ness, sitting nearby, smirked. "too late, i already banned three people."

> BRO DOESN’T PLAY

> NESS ON MOD DUTY

he blew you a kiss. "gotta protect my favorite person."

> SIMP

> AND WE LOVE HIM FOR IT

do not copy, translate, plagiarize, or repost my works.

926 notes · View notes

heliosunny · 6 months ago

Note

Hi hi, I read your lucky egg yuan x reader and thought a bond system was super creative!! So I have a request!!

Can I request a streamer/general Jing yuan playing an otome game where you/the reader are one of the love interests? And he was absolutely obsessed with character!reader that he’d literally drop so much money on the game, but one day, after maybe a poisoning incident, he ends up isekai’d into said otome game. Reader has a favoribility bar and everything and he does all the quests to raise your bar 🤭🤭. And and! If a love interest hits 100% favoribility in the game, they go yandere so maybe a bit of soft yan y/n?

It would also be super interesting to see yuan scheme everything cuz of his big brain 😌😌

I hope you have a good day and stay hydrated!!!

𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠… 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫.

[𝙇𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨��𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙤𝙣] Chat: — "Jing Yuan, you’re literally broke because of this game." — "BRO JUST DATE A REAL PERSON." — "He’s already too far gone… let him be." — "Who’s your bias again? (Not that we don’t know lol)." — "Watch him go straight to Y/N and ignore all the others."

The chat scrolled at breakneck speed, but Jing Yuan barely paid attention, his fingers already navigating past the main menu. His voice was smooth, teasing, as he leaned closer to the mic.

“Come now, you all know the answer to that” his lips curling into a smirk. His stream setup was pristine—dual monitors casting a cool glow over his silver hair, the dim lighting making his golden eyes gleam.

The title screen of Astral Regnum shimmered before him, revealing the stunning artwork of the heroes of the kingdom. But his gaze, as always, honed in on the one he cared about most. You.

Chat: — "Damn, he didn’t even LOOK at them LMAO." — "He’s speedrunning a 2D romance with Y/N." — "NPCs crying in the corner."

Jing Yuan chuckled, skipping past the banners of the other love interests like they were mere background noise. “Why waste time?” His voice dipped lower, fond. “Y/N is the only one that matters.”

A swordmaster. A warrior feared on the battlefield, but with a heart that only opened to those they deemed worthy. In the game’s lore, [Y/N] was the blade of the Astral Regnum heroes—a relentless force of nature, cutting down enemies with precision. And yet, their favorability system was notoriously difficult.

That only made it more satisfying when he raised it.

He knew what you liked. What you hated. Every hidden event, every dialogue choice that made your heart skip.

And he had spent—How much money again? He didn’t care.

Tonight, he was going to hit the final 100%.

With a flick of his wrist, he loaded his save file—the one where his favorability with you was already in the high 90s.

The screen faded to black.

…A sharp knock at the door.

Jing Yuan blinked, momentarily snapping out of his immersion. Who the hell—?

His chat reacted instantly.

Chat: — "Uh oh, debt collectors?" — "Jing Yuan’s about to get isekai’d, watch." — "Bet it’s his manager coming to stop his spending spree."

With a lazy sigh, he muted the mic and pushed his chair back. He had just reached for the door when a strange, sharp scent flooded his senses.

His vision blurred.

The last thing he saw was the game screen still glowing on his monitor, your character’s sprite standing there, waiting.

𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝…

The first thing he felt was the cold, the way it bit into his skin—so vivid, so unlike the temperature-controlled room he had been in just moments ago. His ears rang with the echo of distant battle cries, the clash of steel, the unmistakable scent of blood.

Jing Yuan opened his eyes. His smirk returned instantly.

He knew exactly where he was.

Above him, the skies of Astral Regnum stretched endlessly, clouds tinged red by the fires of war.

“…I really hit the jackpot, didn’t I?”

A shadow moved in his peripheral vision. He turned just in time to see you- covered in blood, battle-worn eyes feral with focus. Your sword pointed straight at him.

Jing Yuan had always admired you— your presence, your unwavering strength. But seeing you in the flesh, drenched in blood with the weight of battle in your stance?

It was exhilarating.

The tip of your sword hovered just inches from his throat, gleaming under the eerie glow of magic-infused flames.

“Identify yourself.”

Jing Yuan barely resisted the urge to grin. Even in the game, you never trusted strangers easily—it was one of the many things that had made raising your favorability so difficult.

But unlike his first playthrough, he didn’t need to fumble through dialogue choices or waste time figuring out what worked.

He already knew exactly what to do.

He lifted his hands in mock surrender, keeping his posture relaxed despite the threat at his throat. “Ah, forgive me. I seem to have found myself in the middle of a battlefield, and I’d rather not lose my head before I’ve even introduced myself.”

Your eyes narrowed, scanning him like a predator sizing up prey. He knew you were analyzing everything—his stance, his expression, any hint of deception.

Chat would’ve gone wild seeing this. Too bad they weren’t here.

“…You’re not dressed like a soldier” you noted, your grip on the hilt still firm.

He wasn’t. The clothes he wore were a mix of modern and fantasy—game mechanics at work, likely adjusting his form to fit the world. He still had his signature robes, but now they looked more battle-worn, reforged in Astral Regnum’s style.

“Observant, as expected” he mused. “I’m not part of any faction. Just a traveler who seems to have ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Your expression remained unreadable, but the fact that you hadn’t killed him on the spot meant he had already passed the first test.

“Captain!” A voice called from the distance. A scout.

Jing Yuan watched as your gaze flickered between him and the approaching soldier. You had a decision to make—cut him down now, or deal with him later?

The game’s mechanics dictated that you wouldn’t kill someone outright if they weren’t confirmed as a threat. That much, he remembered.

“Tie him up” you ordered.

Jing Yuan barely bit back a chuckle as rough hands grabbed his arms, binding his wrists.

Oh we're doing this route? How fun.

“Smart choice” he murmured as your men hauled him up. “But I do wonder… how long will you be able to keep me restrained?”

You didn’t answer. You only turned your back on him, leading the way toward your war camp.

He didn’t mind starting as a prisoner.

After all— He was still going to reach 100%.

----

Jing Yuan sat calmly, bound at the wrists, as the flickering glow of firelight cast shifting shadows across the war tent. Soldiers bustled outside, sharpening blades, murmuring strategies, unaware that the man they had just captured knew more about their war than they did.

It was strange watching everything unfold in real-time.

Even stranger was seeing you like this—not through a screen, but right in front of him. The real you, expression unreadable as you stood by a large map, analyzing war strategies.

A part of him wanted to watch forever.

But that wasn’t the plan.

You finally turned your gaze to him, those sharp eyes glinting under the lantern light. “You don’t seem particularly concerned about your situation.”

Jing Yuan gave a lazy smile. “Should I be?”

Your soldiers shifted uncomfortably, but you merely crossed your arms. “You’re suspicious. You’re too well-groomed for a lost traveler, and you don’t have the look of a mercenary. Are you a spy?”

“No,... But I might be useful to you.”

One of your officers scoffed. “You expect us to believe that?”

“I expect your Captain to consider it.” His gaze remained on you. “You wouldn’t have kept me alive if you didn’t at least think there was value in hearing me out.”

You didn’t deny it. You're still the same, that calculative and careful one. And yet strangely soft toward those who prove their worth.

He could work with that.

“…Fine” you finally said, tone measured. “You’ll stay here under guard. Prove your worth, or you’ll regret it.”

Jing Yuan chuckled, flexing his fingers slightly. “I thought you weren't the type to threat-”

“Don't test me.”

The chains around Jing Yuan’s wrists weren’t tight enough to hurt, but they were a firm reminder—he was not trusted.

But that was fine.

Because trust could be built.

He watched as you dismissed your soldiers one by one, your fingers ghosting over the map on the table. The battlefield was shifting, and you were at the center of it.

Jing Yuan had watched countless cutscenes of you strategizing like this, studying every small movement, every sharp-eyed decision. But seeing it in person was entirely different.

“You’re staring” you muttered without looking up.

Jing Yuan chuckled. “Nothing, I was just thinking.”

Finally, you glanced at him, arms crossed. “About what?”

“That I can help you win.”

“Oh? And why would a ‘lost traveler’ know anything about war?”

Jing Yuan leaned forward slightly, “Because I know your enemies better than they know themselves.”

That caught your attention.

“Go on”

“Your next battle is in three days. Your enemies will try to flank from the west, but their supplies are running thin. If you push them into a defensive position before they can regroup, you’ll win with minimal casualties.”

“And how exactly would you know that?”

Jing Yuan’s smile didn’t waver. “Does it matter?”

“Fine, I'll test your theory.”

If you followed his strategy, he’d prove his worth.

And when you won?

You’d start to trust him.

The war camp was quieter than usual. Outside, soldiers murmured in low voices, preparing for the upcoming battle.

Jing Yuan stood a few feet away, his hands still bound, watching you with a patient smile.

Just as he was about to speak, the tent flap rustled.

"You're still awake?"

Jing Yuan's smile faltered for the briefest second as another figure stepped inside—one of your close friends. They walked in casually, eyes flickering to Jing Yuan before turning back to you.

Jing Yuan had seen them before, an important side character, someone who frequently appeared in your storyline. But now that he was here, living in this world, they felt like a nuisance.

"I'm reviewing the battle plans again" you replied, rubbing your temples. Your friend sighed, stepping beside you.

"You should rest. You've been at this all day."

Jing Yuan watched as they reached forward, lightly flicking your forehead in a playful manner.

He had never liked this character, even when he played the game. They always lingered too close, always made you smile in ways that should have been reserved for him.

But now?

Now, he was right here, watching them steal your attention.

He could see the way you relaxed around them, how comfortable you were. He knew it was natural—you had a long history together in the game. But that didn’t stop the quiet frustration from simmering beneath his skin.

That should be him.

Jing Yuan let out a soft chuckle, stepping forward slightly, just enough to make his presence known.

“You know,” he mused, tilting his head, “for someone so concerned about their commander’s well-being, you don’t seem too worried about distracting them.”

Your friend raised an eyebrow. “And you are?”

Jing Yuan’s smile didn’t waver. “An observer.” He let his gaze linger on your friend a little too long before shifting back to you. “Besides, I don’t think they need to be reminded to rest. They know their limits.”

You let out an amused exhale. “You talk as if you’ve known me for a long time.”

“I just have good instincts.”

Your friend didn’t seem convinced, but they let it slide, instead turning back to you.

Jing Yuan barely heard what they said next. His focus was elsewhere—on the small details.

The way they leaned in when they spoke. The way you didn’t pull away. The way your voice softened, just slightly, in response.

He didn't like it.

But he wouldn’t show it.

----

Jing Yuan was a strategist. Whether in the real world or in this one, he always played to win. Now, you were real. And he would ensure that he was the only one who mattered to you.

The game had always emphasized that actions mattered more than words.

So he made sure every move he made left an impression.

He cooked for you when you were too exhausted after training.

He tended to the wounded, proving he wasn’t just a fighter but someone who cared.

He trained with your soldiers, earning their respect.

He always stayed one step behind you, never overstepping—but never too far away.

And every time you hesitated, every time you looked at him as more than just an outsider, his favorability bar climbed.

[ +15 Favorability ] [ +5 Favorability ] [ +20 Favorability ]

It was slow, steady, but inevitable.

Sure he had made mistakes. Like that one moment where he didn't take your concerns seriously.

"Something’s off about this place" you had murmured, scanning the area. "Maybe, but worrying too much causes wrinkles."

You shot him a look. "Remind me why I even talk to you?"

He laughed. "Because you like me."

At that moment? Not so much. [-15 Favorability]

Or that other time when he was overconfident.

"You should fall back. I’ll handle the rest."

You had scoffed, annoyed. "I don’t need you to protect me."

He shrugged. "Still, wouldn’t want you to get hurt—"

You ignored him and struck the final blow yourself. [-20 Favorability]

Still, everything was carefully choreographed—down to the smallest details. And every time you acknowledged him, every time your gaze lingered just a second longer than before, he knew—

Your favorability bar ticked up.

[ +5 Favorability ] [ +10 Favorability ]

Jing Yuan was patient. But patience had its limits.

When another comrade slung an arm over your shoulder, laughing too freely—his grip on his sword tightened.

When someone dared to flirt with you, his golden eyes flickered with an emotion no one caught.

When you smiled at someone else with the same warmth you gave him, a quiet hum left his lips.

For now, he could hold back.

Because soon, it wouldn’t matter.

Because soon, you wouldn’t even look at anyone else.

----

Jing Yuan never gambled. Because every move has its purpose.

And right now—

Your favorability stood at 75%

It was a beautiful number. But it wasn’t enough.

So, he prepared.

𝐒𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞: 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠...

The system had always been a passive observer. A tool meant to track your feelings, your reactions, your downfall into love.

But today, it would be more than that.

Today, it would be his weapon.

—— Favorability Shop Opened. Current Balance: [Unlimited] Recommended Purchases:

1️⃣ [Memory Trigger Perfume] – A fragrance designed to evoke past emotions and subconscious attachments. [50,000 pts] 2️⃣ [Heroic Crisis Event] – An orchestrated situation where the player can prove their devotion to the target. [100,000 pts] 3️⃣ [Lingerie Set??? ] – Also a valid strategy.... [25,000 pts] ——

Jing Yuan exhaled slowly, amusement flickering in his gaze as he scrolled past the last item.

I'll save that for later.

For now—he bought the first two.

The memory trigger

The next time you saw him, the scent was already on him.

It wasn’t overwhelming. Just a faint trace. Familiar.

You frowned slightly. “What is that smell?”

Jing Yuan feigned confusion. “Does it bother you?”

“No, it’s just…” You hesitated. Something nagged at you. Something you couldn’t quite grasp.

It reminded you of safety. A feeling you had lost.

And deep down, your heart tightened.

“Maybe you’ve smelled it before” he mused, watching you struggle. “Maybe… it’s something important to you.”

You didn’t respond.

But later that night—long after he had left—you found yourself missing it.

And just like that, your favorability rose to 80%

The Heroic Crisis

Jing Yuan knew you were strong. You didn’t need a savior. You could protect yourself. But even strong people had moments of weakness.

And he was going to be there when it happened.

So, when the system triggered the attack, everything was perfect.

Your instincts kicked in immediately. You dodged, countered, struck back.

But the moment you faltered—

Jing Yuan was there.

His blade met theirs. His body shielded yours.

Blood dripped from his arm, but he barely noticed. His eyes stayed on you.

And then, as if in a trance, your lips parted.

“Jing Yuan…”

Your favorability skyrocketed.

90%.

95%.

----

The fire crackled softly, flickering between the two of you. It wasn’t often that you got quiet moments like this. No battles. Just peace.

And strangely—you didn’t mind his presence.

Jing Yuan sat across from you, his white hair slightly tousled from the night breeze.

“Is there something on my face?”

“N-No..Nothing”

“Then why are you staring?”

“I'm not!”

He chuckled. “Not that I mind.”

You scoffed and looked away, but you didn’t deny it. Truth was.. this felt nice.

Jing Yuan stretched his arms behind his head, letting out a content sigh. “You know, this is rare.”

You glanced at him. “What is?”

He smiled lazily. “Seeing you relaxed.”

“I like it.” His voice was quieter this time. “I like seeing you like this.”

Jing Yuan had always been playful, unpredictable. But tonight—his gaze was softer.

And something inside you stirred.

You cleared your throat, shifting slightly. “It’s... nice.”

“Then let’s have more nights like this.”

Your heart skipped. That's not a bad idea.

----

Jing Yuan knew, step by step, you were falling.

Not yet—not completely. But you were softening.

And tonight, he was going to make sure you fell just a little bit more.

The town was lively even in the late hours. Lanterns swayed overhead, casting warm golden hues over the bustling streets. You walked beside Jing Yuan, carrying a small pouch of supplies for your next journey.

It had been his idea to take a detour here. A little break from the usual battles, something about “enjoying the little things.”

But just as you passed by a fruit stall—

“Hey—!”

You barely registered the blur of motion before your pouch was yanked from your grasp.

A small, ragged figure darted through the crowd, slipping between merchants and customers like a shadow.

Jing Yuan reacted immediately.

“Stay close.”

Then he moved.

You both weaved through the market, dodging carts and startled pedestrians. The thief was fast, but you were faster.

“Persistent little one, aren’t they?”

You didn’t waste breath responding—just focused on cutting off the escape.

And then—a dead end.

The thief skidded to a stop in a dimly lit alleyway, chest heaving.

A boy, no older than ten. Grimy, thin and desperate.

Your pouch dangled from his shaking grip.

Behind him, three younger kids peeked out from behind broken crates, their eyes wide with fear.

He wasn’t stealing for himself. He was trying to feed them.

You felt something in your chest tighten.

Jing Yuan stepped forward—not in anger, but with a sigh.

“Stealing is a bad habit, you know?” His voice was light, almost teasing. “But... I suppose sometimes, there’s no other choice.”

The boy flinched, hugging the pouch close.

“Please...” he whispered. “I—It’s for them.”

Then, to your surprise, he pulled out his own pouch and tossed it to the ground. The coins inside jingled.

“Go buy food” he said simply. “Real food. Not stolen.”

The boy’s eyes darted between the pouch and Jing Yuan, as if expecting some cruel trick.

“You... you mean it?”

Jing Yuan chuckled, ruffling his own hair. “I’m not heartless, you know.”

You stared at him.

The boy hesitated before dropping your pouch and taking Jing Yuan’s instead. Then, with a quick bow, he grabbed the younger kids’ hands and ran.

Silence stretched between you two as you picked up your pouch.

Jing Yuan smiled, tucking his hands behind his head. “Well, that was fun.”

You exhaled, shaking your head. “You’re impossible.”

He grinned. “Handsome too, right?”

You rolled your eyes—but your heart wasn’t in it.

Because for all his teasing and laziness—Jing Yuan was... kind.

And when he turned to you, golden eyes glinting under the lantern lights—

98%

Almost there.

100%

A quiet chime echoed in the back of Jing Yuan’s mind.

It's done.

You belong to me now.

The favorability bar had maxed out, but he wasn’t foolish enough to expect an immediate, dramatic change. No, your obsession was something that would seep in—gentle, like ink bleeding through parchment.

And oh... he couldn’t wait to see it unfold.

----

The battlefield was long behind you. The mission had gone well, leaving only exhaustion and the quiet hum of victory. Now, beneath the vast night sky, a small fire flickered between you and Jing Yuan.

For once, the silence between you was... comfortable.

He leaned back, arms folded behind his head, watching you.

Watching you watch him.

There was a difference in the way you looked at him now. Before, your gaze was wary—guarded, even when amused.

But now?

Now, your eyes lingered.

His lips curved. “Something on your mind?”

You blinked, but instead of denying it, you simply tilted your head. “You’re... a good person.”

His amusement deepened as he sat up slightly, propping his chin on his hand. “Is that so?”

You hummed in response, shifting closer—not much, just enough that the warmth of the fire wasn’t the only heat between you.

And then—you touched him.

Your fingers brushed against his wrist, tracing the faint scars that lined his skin.