#I don’t know why this bugs me so much
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I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING.
Gender non conforming apparently only has skirts if you’re a guy. If you’re a girl you can’t wear them cause they’re girly.
No seriously. After the ask I had I was thinking on this more and more and realized that PEOPLE STILL FUCKING SHUN FEMININE THINGS FOR PEOPLE WHO IDENTIFY AS CISGENDER WOMAN. (It’s the best way I can explain it sorry.)
If you’re a transwoman it’s fine but oh, you’re just going along with the patriarchy if you call yourself gender non-conforming and wear skirts as a ciswoman.
Why? Why is this still a thing?!? ‘We need more GNC women’ THEN LET THEM. Let them have masculine and feminine traits. We coo over a GNC man who wears skirts and does masculine things but turn it around for a woman to do that it’s ‘she’s conforming!’
Ugh.
#rant#I’m Nonbinary#I don’t know why this bugs me so much#but it does#it literally feels so fucked#that we continue to put down traditional feminimity#when it comes to women#it’s fucking stupid
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ATTENTION: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS TREE? IF YOU HAVE, YOU MIGHT HAVE FALLEN INTO SOME SORT OF RIP IN THE FABRIC OF TIME
alt version because i also liek it :)
#yes im fucking obsessed with this room whatever. Wall of tags upon ye#myart#eyestrain#rain world#rain world fanart#rain world watcher#rain world watcher spoilers#rain world the watcher spoilers#rw watcher spoilers#rw the watcher spoilers#watcher spoilers#watcher dlc spoilers#pls tell me if i missed a tag i will add it🙏#it’s not like life ruining spoilers but yk. Anyways i am now going to talk about fetid glen and this room in particular#wow the guy who likes drawing with barf colors liked the barf colored region ANYWAYS#the reason i like this room so much is because it offers us a new version of rot. this creepy dripping singing thing … surrounded by#mushrooms … fetid glen in general is very unique rot-wise! the colors; the Stank; the bugs (i think)#just the fact that it’s already rotted but not in the way you’re used to. and i personally am SUCH a fan of that#because look. i love the long legs and tentacles and shit as much as the next guy. i appreciate the classic rot#but i just don’t know if it had to be so … uniform. and so everywhere. truly daddyworld the rot consumes etc etc#which is why i appreciate fetid glen for breaking out of that mold and showing a different version of rot. the colors and the air are fucked#there’s mushrooms everywhere. there’s something wrong with the animals. there’s something wrong with this place in general#scary lobe tree. u know? i wish watcher gave us more variety like that. as much as i love classic rot i was way more excited about#Weird Goop and Bugs (or what i thought was bugs. apparently it was sentient rot spores. but it’s bugs in my heart)#rot and decay has so many symbols and forms i feel like you could really have fun with it :) it doesn’t all have to be tentacle yk?#especially with how many regions watcher has and how starkly different they all are#if fetid glen could do it everywhere else can too#this rant could go on forever because my feelings on the rot in watcher are Plentiful and i sort of wish it was different (doesnt elaborate)#TLDR this room left a pretty big impression on me because it actually was something fresh AND disturbing#(and also it was a classic watcher dlc dead-end that actually had something interesting) (BUT THATS ANOTHER RANT WHICH I WONT GET INTO)
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PAPER WASPS ARE SO SILLY WHEN THEY FLY HELPPP 🥀🥀


#some of the best pictures I’ve ever taken and I say that with little hyperbole#she’s just Standing There#this is a northern paper wasp I believe!! very very pretty I really love them#it looks pink in these pictures but. it was red trust me#it was so cooluauhghhhh she let me follow her around and get pictures. she was very chill#I LOVE HER SO MUCH SO MUCH SO MUCH SO MUCH WASPS MY BELOVED. EXPLODING.#bugs#bug#tw bugs#cw bugs#wasp#wasps#tw wasps#cw wasps#bugblr#insects#using all of the tags I can think of because I need people to see this. why is she so silly#‘wasps are so scary and mean I hate them’ the humble wasp: 🧍#I don’t know if it’s Just paper wasps who do the leg dangle but I see it most often with them so I call it the paper wasp pose
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STOPPPPPPPP STOP REMEMBERING STOPPP THIS NEVER HAPPENED NOTHING IS REAL NOTHING NOTHING AT ALL STOPPPPPPP GHHHHHHHGGAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO STOP SNRRRFFF SNIFF OUHHH SNSPPS NOOOOOO STOP STOP ITT STOPR RIGHT NOW DO NOT REMEMBER SNY OF THIS STOPPPPP AGGHGGGG SNIFDSAMSSMEOEJHEHSSASSGHHG

#Why would this happen. Delete alien stage NOW/j#I cry over this every night every week. I don’t know if you’re able to tell but there are tears and snot all over my screen rn.#WHY would you put a mother and child relationship. Healthy or not. In a series I will end up watching by fate. You should be thinking ahead#STOPPPP STOP ITTTT STOP NOOOOOOOO GHHHGH NO NO NOISSSHEHDJJDSNSFFSNFSNF OUHHHH OUH OUH OUUHHHHH UUHHHHOUHHHH#GIVE EHR BSCK TILL. RIGHT NOW. GIVE HER THE CHILD BACK. ASAP. STOP IT.#Baby till means so much to me. He’s so fucking ugly with that big ass forehead and those bug eyes I can’t stop crying.#Also. WHY would you make a kid version and backstory of a character I will end up liking by fate. You should’ve also thought ab this.#GASSSHHHHHHHHHAASGSGHHGG GAHHH GRYSHAHEHSGSG PIPIPIPUPIJPOIPIJSHSHANSNSNNSNFSNFSSSNIFF SNFI STOPPP#I CSNT TAKE THIS SNYMORE I CSNNOT TSKE THIS SNYMORE STO RMEEMBERING STOP RMEEMBERHTING STOPP PELSSEEEE PLAES PLEASE PLEASE ESOMPLESSE#GIVE IO BACK HER FUCKING BABY BRO PLEASEEEEE PLESD EPELSD ENHSISJ SNIFF PLEADEMOUGGHGHH OUHHH OUHHHUHHHOUHH#They need to stop playing w me. They need to stop fuckign plsying w me. STOP. STOP TI RIGHGT NOE. FUCK SLL OFMYOFU. STOP IT.#The worm conference#Alnst#alien stage#alnst till#alnst io#till’s mom#I am very emotional over mothers and children. And alien stage.
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the arm placement in those pictures says everything it needs to say about what went wrong snyder’s superman.
#superman#clark kent#i know a lot of people love this shot#(the one on the right)#but personally#it bugs me so much#why couldn’t he just relax his hands to the side#this version of superman just feels so distant#and not in a good way#because i do think clark should feel lonely and like he doesn’t belong for a big chuck of his life#yk until he meets lois and jimmy and other superheroes#and then kara#and then kon#mon-el and so on#thought mon-el does come first technically lol#anyways i just don’t think clark should feel this cold#i don’t think he should think he is above everyone#it’s not who he is#of course he should feel a sense of responsibility for the safety of the world#one he wants no one else to feel#but idk the vibes with this supes are off#i do like the first movie#somewhat#but with each movie after it kept getting worse and worse
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Does it even count as a power hour oc if it doesn’t resemble Chonny very much?
Just finished making both the regular and encore versions of KBPH oc in GL2 and, whilst I do feel incredibly ashamed of myself for having to use GL2 to make them instead of just drawing them, I do also recognise that [Especially for the encore version] I never would have been able to draw them in a way that was satisfactory, at least not with my current art skills, and I’m too lazy and impatient to spend a bunch of time an effort practicing my art just so that I could draw both versions of the KBPH oc. Plus, doing them in GL2 kinda improved my designs a bit, as quite a few parts of the design were things I couldn’t figure out how to do in GL2, so I had to change them, and I actually like the new designs more than the ones that I only had in my head, and am actually proud [Especially so for the encore version] of what I have created. Well, proud of the designs at least. Using GL2 to make them feels extremely shameful. I honestly might just end up private-ing this if someone doesn’t tell me not to.
Anyways, you probably just want to see the designs.
Here is the regular version:

Eyestrain warning [I think that’s the correct term] for the encore version:

Ibispaint ruined the image quality when I resized the image so here’s the original images:
#power hour oc#chonny jash#goodness it feels so embarrassing to use GL2 to make these#i see so much hate online for people who use GL2#it feels like im going to be harrased for using it to make these#it also feels like only kids use GL2#which I know isnt true#but still#i feel shameful and disgusting and disgraceful#i honestly probably deserve to feel ashamed for making them in GL2 instead of just sucking it up and getting good at art#i dont know why i feel any sort of pride about the designs they probably look awful#they might have a chance of looking good#if they were drawn instead of being made in GL2#but it feels like if it has been made in GL2 that it inherently looks worse#are you all as ashamed of me as i am?#can i even call this a power hour oc#it doesnt even look like chonny#have i accidentally made a mockery of these power hour ocs#im disgusting arent i#this feels like a moral failure on my part#anyways should I sing Bug? it’s like the only song i can sing in Japanese cause I don’t speak Japanese
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sometimes i remember some people’s only frame of reference for Daffy and Porky is in modern stuff like TLTS and nothing strikes fear into my heart more. like do people out there only think one cares about the other.. do people think Daffy hates Porky..,,,, watch the originals and see the light. i need to like make a manifesto or something or find a way to be like They Are Good And I Am Tired Of This Being Slept on.
let this into your heart

#me saying this refutes this blog’s existence in a way but i’m not a big shipper. it’s just not a big priority of mine and i disagree with#how fandoms prioritize shipping and tropes over actual characterization especially LT fandom which is why i like never interacted with any#of it until now and had to make a separate side blog to do so because i still feel kind of weird abojt it#with that all established. getting into these cartoons it’s literally amazing to me i don’t know how like. how can you see these guys and#not be like oh there is something between them#how would you ship anyone but these two#if Bugs and Daffy did half the stuff these guys did the world would be in shambles.#sorry i’m half asleep and losing my filter it’s fine. but omg it’s just#these guys are so much more interesting and varied and UUUUUGH i love them#i think a reason why i struggle(d) with ship stuff is because in Daffy and Porkys case they are so real to me that tacking ship stuff onto#them almost feels like invading their privacy. i don’t draw shippy stuff because i feel like i’m intruding#i consider myself their biographer i just report back on what they’re doing and what thehre doing is 🏳️🌈#i need to go to sleep. spread the Porky and Daffy agenda#📝#💭#🎞️#daffy duck#porky pig#looney tunes#dafpork
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having another not so fun though thankfully still littke medical emergency you’re all very nice for. idk. not trying to blow me up with your mind for not updating yet. i don’t have a backbone
#bugs personal life#slightly delirious#i’m sorry i don’t know why i feel massive amounts of guilt tho i miss writing so much but i can’t rifht now and it makes me cry#maybe a lot delirious
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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i felt for a long time like i wasn’t necessarily learning anything or making progress in therapy. i never knew what exactly i needed to work on or process but i knew i needed to be in therapy and i think really only recently am i realizing why and that actually im changing a lot
#hopefully for the better…#realizing a lot of things about the way people have treated me#my WHOLE entire life#and working on learning that it’s not my fault i was treated the way i was#i mean i don’t remember my childhood at all but i know it’s always been like this#that’s all i’ve ever known so i allowed people to continue to treat me that way into my teen and even adult years#having now multiple therapists tell me that the things i’ve endured have been pretty fucked up kind of put things into perspective#and finally meeting people who treat me with genuine kindess. maybe for the first time in my life#i don’t know. it’s kind of sad i’ve spent so much of my life allowing people to treat me the way they have#the biggest crime i ever committed was being small and confused and scared#my fucking bad i guess#i think maybe that’s part of why i like bugs so much#they are a bit strange or maybe even scary to most people#but those people don’t want to put in the work to understand them#and most bugs are pretty defenseless against humans. they don’t know. they don’t understand#and most of them if they do something to defend themselves it’s because they’re scared or confused#they don’t deserve to die for that do they#just because they are small and you are big and they are confused and scared. how is that fair at all#plus they are pretty cute i think :)#snow.txt
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Sorry if you've already been informed of this, but in case you haven't, I just want you to know that Sam still has the teal pom pom hat! He said on the podcast that he misplaced it almost immediately and thought he had lost it, but that he found it in his bag once he got back!
NO!!! no one told me!!! 😭😭 thank you so much, that teal hat is incredibly important to me and i am delighted he still has it

^^^sam in that hat. to me tbh <3
#😭😭 BESTIE THANK YOU!!!! 🥺💕 i love getting asks. never be sorry for sending asks OR information i love knowing things. even reminded of ‘em#i understand the real life situation here#(person who sets down an item & immediately Cannot See It) (literally today thought my phone must’ve bounced out of the cart -> on my desk)#hOWEVER. in my beautiful mind palace. & also because one time calla was talking about what she & maria talked about with sam’s default bg#on all the seasons on his phone there is something sooooo 🤌 to me about sam who loves the hat so much but knows that people will comment or#note it and ‘loses’ the hat. the hat becomes beloved and therefore it is For Him. which like!!! valid!!!! i don’t really think any of them#wear too much of any kind of branded merch beyond like. cotopaxi stuff and their own jet lag which is good for monetizing and probably like#branding rights or stuff where they don’t get associated with another company or all of that legal libel or whatever. sorry i do not know#YouTube rules but i feel like people are (and sam seems to be very YouTube/business Savvy which side tangent i think adam has talked about#in the process of making jet lag where it was like sam was doing a lot of the work on design because he knew better what kinds of things#would be marketable on YouTube i.e. having the intro voiceover and other stuff that he insisted on that the two of them were like 🤥 about#but he ended up being right so!! definitely something i always have to be like SAM IS MUCH SAVVIER THAN YOU GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR bc i want#to be like haha train boy!! and give him qualities like my beloved Train Boy in my life and like. this sounds SO terrible if i phrase it#like this but the stereotype of the brilliant engineer of whatever: well have i met some (lovely. my best friends) idiot engineers. & this#is how i need to frame sam where it’s like yes he Portrays this character but he is in some ways a massive idiot. like all of us.#the transit is a hobby interest that he knows a lot about but he is very very good at people in the sense of content & relations to have#built this and ADAM is secretly more of that Neurotic Genius type in the way that he plays and i project ***** onto. anyway this is a very#very long aside that is not coherent and could’ve been summed up by saying i need to remember that sam is a frat boy [in spirit?] AND very#aware of how people may be able to perceive him POTENTIALLY.) so the hat is also his awareness of like. if i wear this hat this becomes#part of the bit. in the way them wearing the hats are the bit or while ben does probably dress in very fun outfits in real life his fun#outfits are a Thing. and he liked the hat enough to want it to not be a Thing for everyone. of course there is also the option#sam does not think about ANY of this in the slightest & is not nearly as (manipulative is a negative connotation but I’m not thesarus-ing)#as i am picturing him to be. plain phone screen doesn’t care simple joy of the hat delighted by it would wear it in the same wear he always#wears that bug sweatshirt. (again. could be a Thing he consciously does) & he truly did just think he lost it. bruh forgot a whole pumpkin#um. and it is now at this point that i have returned to reality & have to consider sam in his everyday life just out there wearing this hat#and i’m having cuteness aggression about it. world’s biggest NOOOO FUCK OFFFFF if i have to think about it pulled down!! over his ears!!!#his rosy cheeks!!! SKIING IN IT. although that probably wouldn’t work under a ski helmet but just like. in his daily life. Will it reappear#sam denby#liv in the replies#and also perhaps there is gender there but don’t ask me what i haven’t the foggiest. which is why i held off on saying anything
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Blegh! I’m so tired. I’m falling asleep while trying to my homework this is a total problem!!!! I even drank an energy drink but I’m still tired idk what to do!!!!!!!
#so I’m on tumblr now hi guys!!!!#I’ve barely slept this past days.. maybe 2 hours of sleep in the last 2 days…#which is better than nothing rigth…….#ughhh ok so I have physics homework and math homework and an essay to write and also a couple tests tommrow….. UGH WHO CURSED ME WITH THE#BURDEN OF HIGH SCHOOL!!!! why can’t it be over already#seriously I’ve restarted this essay like 3 times since yesterday I don’t know what to write at all!!!!!!!#ok maybe I’ll try my physics homework for a little bit#cause I have a test in that class tommrow#I think instead of college and high school I should instead turn into a cute little creature and scamper away and live under a rock and eat#weird bugs alll day and also sleep so much#I’ve wrote all this crazy stuff here in the tags but I’m still so tired#l wish I could just not go to school tomorrow#and I would sleep all day… that’s my dream right now…..
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huge pet peeve of mine: everyone saying “side profile” instead of just “profile.” It already means from the side we don’t need to specify. No one is talking about someone’s front or back profile
#genuinely didn’t notice this until I was in college so I’m particularly convinced it’s a regional thing#but this has been weighing on me for years I don’t know why it bugs me so much
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Me, waking up from a dead sleep in a cold sweat: DAMMIT IT WAS CRADLE NOT A CRIB! I’M AN IDIOT!
#UPDATE: fuck it! changed all instances of ‘crib’ to ‘cradle’. feels much better now!#so in one of my fics (the door) I erroneously refer to a piece of furniture as a crib#despite giving a description that vERY CLEARLY indicates it’s a cradle and not a crib#and now that’s going to bother me because even if I change it now it’s got like 130 notes so everyone’s already witnessed my error 😭😭😭#as for why that’s come to me NOW of all times — much less where the realization came from — I sincerely don’t know#but now it’s going to bug me for time eternal no matter what I do with this realization 😅
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cinematographically I’m thriving drama wise I’m thriving but I’m so sorry I’m getting really hung up on the fact that this speech Does Not work. you can’t have no butterflies but a species that feeds on butterflies.
how do the moths survive then? If you have no butterflies? & thats what they eat? hmm? Ily Lucile with your dramatic goth vibes & what I’m reading as a creepy incestuous evil thing with your brother but the logic of your flowery gay speech is breaking my immersion unfortunately 😔
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really don’t want to go to the family mother’s day get together but figure i will just to see my brothers & offer it up
#i feel so silly about this whole thing#like do i want to have a relationship with my grandma? sure. i don’t care#but we don’t#and the pretending we do by threat of mass upset from their side just gets to me#these get togethers are always perfectly fine if a little embarrassing#but it’s just.#don’t know why it bugs me so much but i get sick to my stomach and everything.
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