#I don't CARE if it makes less sense than blasters

[adrienjay]

MORE TRANSFORMERS WITH BOWS. MORE. MOOOOORE.

CROSSBOWS. BOWS THAT SHOOT PLASMA ARROWS. BOWS THAT SHOOT PHYSICAL METAL BOLTS. BOWS THAT SHOOT FIRE.

SMALL BOWS THAT ARE EASY TO CARRY AROUND ON STEALTH MISSIONS. GIANT INDUSTRIAL STEEL BOWS THAT ONLY A BOT THE SIZE OF ULTRA MAGNUS CAN DRAW.

INTRICATE, ARTISTIC, GORGEOUS CAMIEN BOWS DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR THEIR WIELDER. PLAIN GRAY MASS-PRODUCED BOWS FOR M.T.O SOLDIERS THAT HAVE HAD NAMES AND SYMBOLS AND DOODLES ETCHED INTO THEIR METAL BY PEOPLE WHO ARE DESPERATE FOR ANY OUTLET FOR SELF EXPRESSION AND INDIVIDUALITY.

DO YOU SEE MY VISION. DO YOU SEE IT.

[artsy-hobbitses]

Prowl had quite the update in backstory and personality a while ago, mind sharing his evolution proccess?

Honestly the biggest thing was that he never had a solid personality in my early draft of him! He started out as a mirror of IDW Prowl but in all frankness, while I find 2005 IDW Prowl EXTREMELY intriguing, I don't care for him as a person, and I especially do not like how the later writers treated him as the communal hate sink, and how this has ALSO caused some fans to justify the awful things done to him by others in narrative (this part of the reason TTB is a also No-Chromedome territory--people get fucking weird about him versus Prowl).

The thing is however that I LOVE Prowl's IDW background, coming from a place like Petrex where rules were so draconian that questioning your lot in life was grounds to throw you in prison (outside of IDW, I love that the terrible things done there in name of assimilation and order was also delved into in the War for Cybertron series, where unlike IDW Prowl, this Prowl was remorseful and genuinely disturbed by it). Prowl is also ofc a Cold Construct, and how that impacts humans as opposed to Cybertronians is something that is heavily explored in Ties That Bind. To note here, Megatron, Blaster and Starscream are Cold Constructs who were either loved and managed to retain a sense of personhood (Megs), had their true background hidden from them until adulthood (Blaster) or were successful in fighting for some semblance of rights over their own destiny (Starscream). In Prowl, given his history in Petrex, I wanted to explore the logical extreme of a Cold Construct who NEVER had that chance, who had everything taken from him and had almost all semblance of rebellion he can't even remember wrung out of him. Almost everything that makes him a person is functionally destroyed by his government in service of turning him into an asset (Not even the DNA that makes him who he is is sacred, as it was used by Mesothulas to create Springer--he doesn't even have rights to what makes him him), almost everything (he would have been killed for his last act of rebellion if Jazz hadn't saved him in time), but an inch, as mentioned in V for Vendetta: "Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having." And I wanted, despite everything done to him, to make him care. Really care. Even if it's clumsy and stilted, and he himself doesn't understand it but goddamn if he ain't trying. To hold on to that inch. Because is his compassion worth any less than his companions if he has to learn it? Is his concern for his companions any less earnest if he ties it to the good of the unit (because that's what he understands best) before the individual? Is his desire for justice less powerful than his friends' if he ties it to how it's 'wrong' in the order of things as he understands it as opposed to 'I empathise with this person being wronged' (because he doesn't KNOW HOW TO DO THAT)? Is who he is, broken and shattered on the inside in places where he isn't outright empty, worth saving? Jazz certainly thought he was! And I suppose that's also tied to parts of my simultaneous dislike and intrigue of his IDW version: What is someone got him? (because he HAS A POINT. A LOT OF THE TIME. 'Good' IDW Autobots mostly run on 'Maverick' mode even if it's stupid or makes no sense) What if someone tried to understand where he was coming from (he is STILL trying to do good albeit in terrible ways because that's what he's taught) instead of seeing him as an aberration (MORE SO than the Cons sometimes which is insane) for something he cannot help as a living state asset, and a constant lost cause for a personality and an outlook molded by one of the worst regimes on Cybertron (because Functionism was awful as it was, but it seemed PARTICULARLY awful in Petrex)? Because I see him as deserving of a satisfying narrative of figuring out who he is away from everything he was molded to become, and a redemption arc way more than say, WarCrimes McGee Megatron, and I happen to LIKE IDW Megatron. So in TTB he gets that! All the AWFUL things that comes with being a flesh tool with barcode imprinted on him, and the messy things that comes with breaking away from that and trying to figure out how to fucking person, and all the love that comes from a community that see the work he's putting in, and see that inch he's holding on to, and are helping him hold on to it when his grip on it loosens.

I just think it's the kind of evolution and story that he deserves!

[monodramatic-cannibal]

Refs done for my UToc :DD He's called Nix-Ceto. His blaster's don't really have names, but oh well lol.

He's open for asks and such, I also don't mind ocs interacting as well. (also I don't mind others ocs being related to his lore either lol)

More info under the cut

Head canon voice: toe - グッドバイ / Goodbye

More info on his design:

His height is 5,9

Late 20s early 30s in terms of age (will edit if I choose an age), a little bit younger than most Sanses.

His clothing is made of somewhat waterproof fabric, so when water is available he may use it to travel as he finds it quicker to move around due to his tail allowing him to swim quicker

Tends to have triangle symbolism on his clothes that he wears, he does this subconsciously.

25% of the time he will have the fish blaster’s out just swimming along the air beside him. For no reason other than he likes watching them move around.

The sword and its case is something he can summon/desummon as well. But tends to have it with him 50% of the time since it does have a shoulder strap to carry it. (I also named his sword after this song)

When his eyes flare with magic it flashes/fades back and forth from yellow to blue.His ecto colour is also blue on the outside and yellow in the middle. (sort of like the fish blasters ecto)

Will randomly lose teeth, but due to having shark teeth/very similar mouth to sharks the tooth will quickly be replaced.

Despite the somewhat formal fashion sense he tends to look a bit scruffy, hates it if anyone tells him to tidy himself up.

The gaster blasters are inspired by how @.tinylittlefox1 (Twitter) draws gaster blasters. What his gaster blaster sounds like (The 'fish' blaster's don't have a noise yet)

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His magic:

Is able to summon multiple gaster blasters like normal Sanses, as well as the bone attacks and blue attacks.

His gaster blasters can go against his orders though, often doing different attacks e.g. instead of shooting a beam at someone they may bite someone instead. They might also not attack if Nix-Ceto doesn’t truly want to fight someone, or if someone had befriended the blasters.

Ceto also has two extra summons, in the ‘fish’ blasters, these can’t shoot beams but can create barriers/shields, can be used for multiple things, such as blocking attacks, trapping people, creating bridges, etc. He has more control over the fish blasters, but tends to let them do their own thing, since they seem to know the best times of when to defend him.

His other summon is his sword. His sword having a water effect whenever he swings it, and seems to create water when swinging it too, the more he swings it/the longer he uses it in a fight the more water it produces. Which Ceto will use to help in fights such as flicking this water in peoples faces to hopefully blind them for a second.

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Nix-Ceto (can have the nickname of Nix or Ceto) is a Sans that came from an au where he didn’t feel like he belonged, having a very hazy memory, and no memories of childhood. It turning out he came from a different au, and basically took the place of the Sans in this new au. He still did care for the friends in this au, and still viewed the Papyrus as his brother. But finding out he didn’t really belong here it inspired him to try to find where he did come from.

After an encounter with Dream, Dream helped him discover the fact he has the ability to open portals to other aus. Which leads him to now take the nickname Nix-Ceto to differentiate himself from the other Sanses. Out of respect for Dream he also goes round dealing with the smaller problems that don’t have the attention of the multiverse guardians/The Star-Sanses. He does this to try to relieve Dream of some stress not having more problems, and also because Nix wants more allies on his side, via helping aus out.

Over time his focus became less on trying to find his og au and more so just making memories and figuring out secrets and mysteries within the multiverse.

Nix-Ceto is described as a quiet cold individual by most people that meet him. But the few that actually take time to get to know him a little bit better discover he is an individual that cares a lot for others, that is willing to fight alongside others to help them achieve their hopes and dreams. Though the ones who get to know him also complain about the fact he never says goodbye when leaving.

Ceto never says goodbye since he thinks goodbyes are sad. What's the point in saying goodbye if they might meet again, and what's the point in saying goodbye if you're not to meet again. Ceto has a realistic view on life, verging into pessimistic way of viewing things. But he still holds onto what he views as good, and cherishes connections that he makes in the multiverse.

He doesn’t mind teaming up with others, and wouldn’t mind if others were to travel with him from time to time. Him often acting as a beacon of hope for others who want to see the multiverse and find their place. Ceto has seen plenty of travel partners come and go, and tends to remember each of them, and will even pass along their stories not letting the memories of their adventures go.

Most aus he goes to tend to be pacifist or neutral. Since there's not much he can do for a genocide au, the only time he may go to a geno au is if it's getting destroyed by an outside source, he will often help move people into the omega timeline. Most aus he tends to try not to get attached too, since he knows he will only be moving onto the next very soon. But other than 'his own', he got a soft spot for the au 'Oceantale', even though everything is underwater in the au he has no problem moving around due to his shark tail. With Oceantale he also gets a feel of familiarity, though he isn't sure why, he assumes it's because maybe he was originally from an au that heavily involves water, but he isn't too sure on that. Just generally any au with some ocean theme, or aus that take place on the surface involving water he tends to like more than other aus.

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Can either go by Nix, or Ceto as nicknames, most people tend to use Nix for him. Is sometimes thrown off by people using his full name if he's used to having that person use a nickname for him.

He often doesn't take many breaks when traveling around the multiverse. Often it's his companions who force him to take a break. He doesn't have too much he likes to do in his free time, but does try to take part in whatever one of his companions are doing in their free time.

He does enjoy music, often listening to quieter songs, most songs either with no vocals or with soft vocals in them. Preferring the music itself rather than a singer.

When it comes to food he's mostly not picky, he can make food himself, but it's normally 'decent', will often let companions he travels with make food instead. Though when feeling home sick he often misses food he'd make with Paps. Making a mental note to go visit his 'au'.

Doesn't tend to carry much, often may carry supplies with him, but tries to pack very lightly. This means he doesn't really like carrying anything around that he deems as unnecessary. Meaning if any aus try to give him gifts for helping he will often refuse, since it's normally gifts that aren't practical for him. Will normally accept food as gifts though, or generally supplies he will actually use.

Dislikes eye contact and physical touch. Very few people can actually hold his eyes, or touch him. If someone he doesn’t know touches him chances are he will flinch away and even say something like ‘ew’ at them. Just doesn’t like being noticed, and dislikes the feeling of being touched. Though for the people who are able to touch him may notice he seems touch starved.

When dealing with threats across the multiverse he often gives threats 2 chances to stop. One before he fights them, then another chance before he kills them. He knows it may make him as bad as these threats, but in his head they can’t hurt anyone else if they’re dead. They can’t cause any more problems if they’re dead. Nix sees what he does as a necessary evil, murder to get rid of the murderers/problems. He tries not to drag anyone else into these fights, since he knows a lot of people are against hurting, let alone killing, another being.

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Relationships/ (Friendships/etc) with other characters/thoughts on other characters: (will only write about my own ocs here, or fandom characters. Won’t write about others ocs due to not wanting to mischaracterize them)

Tanue: One of the companions he travels with frequently is Tanue. Tanue has been a constant thorn in his side since they met. Basically since Tanue realized Nix could travel around aus without help from one of the multiverse guardians/outcodes Tanue has been using Nix like an multiverse taxi. Nix at first was a little annoyed about being used like that, but over time the two got to know each other. And Nix holds a little bit of respect for Tanue, only a little. Nix will be one of the first to admit that Tanue has a good heart, and knows what he wants from life. Nix is a little jealous of Tanue in the regard of knows who he is and what he wants from life. But he doesn't let that effect their friendship. Nix travels around to solve problems, but Tanue often ends up being a problem himself, due to Tanue's love for fighting. But Nix due to so much time with Tanue is able to reel Tanue back in.

Yusuke: Someone who was in one of the first few aus he helped evacuate to the Omega Timeline while it was being deleted. Has known Yusuke for several years, he’s very close to Yusuke, and very protective over him. Sees Yusuke as his best friend, Yusuke being one of the only few people to easily joke around with Nix able to hold Nix’s gaze and touch Nix as well. Yusuke will often jokingly flirt with him, which he also finds amusing too, since it always comes at random times and often are unhinged flirts. Used to travel with Yusuke a lot, but Yusuke wanted to settle down in the Omega Timeline, and had begged him to do the same, which Nix didn’t want too. Which lead the two to not be in contact as often since Nix was always coming and going from the Omega Timeline. But due to a sudden change in Yusuke’s mind, Yusuke has decided to try to pick back up traveling with Nix.

Star Sanses: Mainly has respect for Dream, both for teaching him how to open portals, and Dream also encouraged him to find his original au, which started him out on this journey of his. The other two members of the stars he never met, so can’t say too much about them. Part of him knows Dream wouldn’t be happy with how he handles some problems, but in his eyes ‘they can’t be a problem anymore if they’re dead.’

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(if anyone wants to have any of their utau oc’s lore connected to Nix-Ceto’s story, e.g. as one of the people who traveled with him or is currently traveling with him, go for it lol. I don’t mind peoples ocs interacting with mine.)

(also this info on him might be subject to change, and I may add more to it over time lol)

[ben-talks-art]

I have a confession to make... I don't think I like this movie

Before I start I just want to say, I do think this is a good movie. I think the visuals are amazing, it is very creative, has very pleasant lights and colors, the robots all have nice designs, it's paced well, has a lot of good humor despite what the trailers might have alluded to, and overall, as a stand-alone story, it works well for the most part to tell the tale of two friends eventually becoming enemies.

My problems with this movie come from... admittedly a very entitled headcanon-ish mindset of "This isn't how I wanted things to play out."

Kinda like how when you watch Sam Raimi's Spider-Man and you get upset that Peter doesn't tell jokes because that's a part of the character that really appealed to you, this movie feels like it doesn't do the parts of the character of Optimus that appealed to me, or if they do, they don't do it in a way that I wanted.

I grew up with quite a few different versions of Optimus through the years. The ape gorilla one from Beast Wars, the firetruck one from Robots in Disguise, the young one from Animated, and the one with weird feet from the Bayverse.

They all offer their take in Optimus but they all manage to keep the core idea of his appeal intact, that being... He's a boring guy, that just so happens to be THE coolest boring guy ever.

He's someone who is ready to fight and kick ass for the things he believes and giving it his all until his last "breath", but the things he believes in are pretty basic stuff like world peace and things like that. It's like if your school teacher was a superhero, the most boring person you know secretly fighting crime when they have time but still valuing more the importance of teaching and guiding people in need.

To me, what makes Optimus so cool is that despite being this massive killing robot that can turn his arms into blasters, the guy is just a giant dork who loves life.

His sense of duty over protecting others comes from his sense of love for all living beings and for their right to exist. He doesn't see himself above anyone, only above those that try to use their power to cause harm.

He's a pacifist that only fights when he has something to protect, he's a diplomat who always tries to solve things with words and reason first, he's inspiring because he never ceases to believe in the cause he fights for, and he has the leadership skills to back up everything he stands for. The dude is just HIM.

Even down to the name "Optimal", he represents the best of us in the best way possible.

So I was curious to see how he was going to be handled in Transformers One and... He's kinda basic.

My thing with this version, keeping in mind that this is meant to be a young Optimus, is that I don't really see any of the things I admire in him from other versions.

The focus here is more on playing up his "optimism" as Scarlett Johansson says, to show how cool he is because he never gives up, never stops dreaming, never stops fighting for a better future, never thinks he is less than those above him...

And all of that just feels so generic.

It felt like they could not give a damn about trying to show why Optimus loves and wants to protect life and values diplomacy over violence, and instead just tried to turn him into a Disney Princess who "dreams of more" because he was sick of being a miner.

Heck, the first few segments of this movie were showing him being incredibly reckless and putting himself and other people in danger, all of them for pretty much no reason.

He literally grabs his friend and drags him into a race without letting him know and proceeds to jump on top of several racers resulting in many getting injured, and by the time we were done he didn't even seem to care.

I thought this was going to build up to some reality check moment where he needs to grow up from his reckless behavior, but no, if anything, his behavior only leads to good thing after good thing in this movie. He gets praised by his superior, finds a lost message in the trash, uncovers a hidden secret about his people, unlocks the ability to transform and finally becomes a prime.

Optimus in this movie is constantly getting rewarded for being reckless, impulsive, selfish, and for not thinking.

To a point where when he does start acting like Optimus and takes a shot for someone else and nearly dies, I was like, "Oh, yeah... This is meant to be Optimus... Kinda forgot about that."

I just kept watching this movie and going "When is he gonna become Optimus? When is he gonna become Optimus? When is he gonna become Optimus?" and once he did, it didn't feel earned for me.

Again, my problem was that I never got the sense that this guy was someone who valued peace and life. I got the sense that he was impulsive and ready to fight for what he believed, yeah, but I didn't care what he believed in. The stuff he believed in was stuff any generic action main character tends to believe in.

Stuff like "There is something more to life for us out there, that we're all destined for greatness, that if we just believe in ourselves we can accomplish anything, and blah, blah, blah..."

I didn't really get a sense that he believed all life was worth protecting and even sacrificing yourself for.

There was a little bit of that hinted at with a scene with Jazz and the scene where he takes a shot for someone, but I needed more than that. I wanted to see why this dude would lead armies and fight armies just to protect the innocent, but I never really got a sense of connection between him and the innocent.

Like, we get a brief scene where they see a couple of animals and I was hoping he would have a moment going "Look at them... They're beautiful!" but we don't really get that. Or maybe a scene where someone ends up dying on his arms and he decides to devote himself to never let that happen again, but that also never happens. Or perhaps a scene of him talking and hanging out with the other bots, showing them struggling with their lives and giving him some sense of duty of "I need to do something to help them out!", but no, he barely talks to anyone aside from Megatron.

It's frustrating because we have these core four main characters and I kept thinking we would get some great bonding moments to show why Optimus feels it's important to fight for others, but their bonds is really surface-level. I never got the feeling they really knew each other that much.

I was so sad when I heard the speech about how his "Optimism was his greatest quality" because I just know there will be a lot of people coming out of this movie and going "Oh! That's what makes Optimus such a cool character!" and it really wasn't.

I remember in Puss In Boots 2 when they told the backstory of the little dog and we see how sad the two cats got for him.

I believed that emotion, I believed that connection, and I believed that Puss and Kitty would fight to protect him.

I never really believed Optimus truly cared about anyone any more than any generic action main lead would for their extras in a movie.

Transformers One Optimus is not, in my opinion, a good representation of what makes Optimus such an iconic leader, because it failed to convince me that this Optimus was a protector.

They put too much focus on him being an ambitious dreamer, and not enough on him being a hero.

But maybe that's just me. What do you guys think?

[imtrashraccoon]

Dragon Au Headcanons?

if you have anything at the moment.

I wrote out bullet points days ago but kept forgetting to actually expand on them... Oh well, here's some little things I thought of, as well as, a few things you sent me. :3 (I should mention that this is all in regards to their dragon forms and not the gaster blaster/humanoid ones.)

The Dark Fortress: Dragon AU Headcanons

They're essentially immortal in the sense that they only grow stronger with age and they aren't affected by most physical ailments. It is technically possible to kill them but their scales make them nigh invulnerable to most weapons so anyone who tries will need the aid of magic. Fortunately for them, mages tend to be rather squishy.

All of them like being pet or groomed, but only by their mortal friend and they all react differently to the idea with some being more open to it than others.

Donovan will only let you touch him when no one else is around and even then, you better not make a big deal out of it. He's a big powerful dragon and you're a puny little mortal; he's letting you live so you better be grateful. Just don't stop halfway through or you'll have a grumpy dragon on your hands.

Dirk loves getting attention, nearly as much as he loves causing mayhem, and you'd be lucky to get him to sit still for ten minutes. He doesn't care if others are around, if anything he'll gloat that you're giving him attention instead, just don't be too affectionate or he might become more unpredictable than usual.

Maul seems like he could care less if you touch him or not and he'll often let you do whatever, so long as you don't approach him from the right side (his blind spot) first. Truthfully, he really likes your attention but as he's a dragon of few words, so you'll have to figure it out through body language.

Reven is in-between. He mostly keeps to himself so you'll have to go out of your way to give him attention. He definitely ignored you at first, hoping you'll get bored and leave, but when you don't, he realizes that he actually really likes the attention.

All dragons have the compulsion to create and protect hordes and these boys are no exception.

Naturally, Donovan has the largest horde although his is mostly books and gold. He's very particular about where everything goes and will get upset if anyone moves or destroys anything.

Dirk mostly collects sharp things, particularly if they're shiny. Although, this isn't limited to weapons as evident by all the cutlery littering his den.

Before being cursed, Maul already had a bit of a problem with the thought of food scarcity and he actively preserved any food he could. Now, his instincts have been magnified and he regularly goes out of his way to hunt and steal any food he can find.

Reven wasn't much of a hoarder before, unless you count him keeping track of all the murders he perpetuated. Now, he likes to collect soft things like scarves, blankets, flags, etc. It would actually be kind of sweet if these weren't collected from the victims of raids he regularly goes on.

You'd think that being a super powerful dragon is all that, right?

Well that's what Donovan thinks anyways, although sometimes he does find himself missing his tendrils or wishing he could read a book without accidentally tearing the pages.

Dirk loves his new form, however he can't exactly pull any partners with how large he is now.

Maul has possibly the hardest time adapting out of all of the boys since he's even more clumsy than before.

Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, Reven could care less, especially since he can kill things easier in this form.

They actually really like when you tag along for adventures, although don't get any ideas of becoming a dragon rider anytime soon.

Donovan will smack you over the head with his wing if you ever bring up the idea of saddling him.

Dirk may not mind too much as he's hard to keep up with even on the ground, but don't let the others know.

Maul welcomes the idea since you can watch out for threats and he knows exactly where you are at any given time.

Reven doesn't like the idea either but he'll give in after he realizes that it isn't very safe to ride him without a saddle.

Each of them have their own way of fighting although some of their techniques have been simplified now that they're massive creatures.

Donovan prefers to use his tails to send foes flying in close combat but otherwise uses his breath weapon or magic.

Dirk almost exclusively uses a special blade he fitted to the tip of his tail, although his bite packs a mean poison too.

Maul prefers the simple approach of throwing his weight around and he makes good use of his claws, teeth, horns, and even wings.

Reven actually switches up his fighting style, opting to use his breath weapon and magic rather than getting up close to enemies.

As dragons, they enjoy being worshipped or admired to some degree.

Donovan already desired to rule over the whole world and this desire was only heightened. He demands respect from everyone - be they human, monster, or beast alike.

Dirk revels in the idea of being revered. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be a good ruler at all as he has no experience and his ego would be his own downfall.

Maul can't deny that it's appealing when people admire and respect him. Although, the poor guy doesn't want to actually rule over anyone and his trauma would likely hinder his ability to do so.

Reven definitely gets a power trip whenever people fall on their face and beg him for mercy. He also has no interest in ruling as he'd sooner slaughter anyone stupid enough to stick around when he's raiding a village.

They each have scars; some that carried over from their old forms and some new ones.

Donovan has poc marks on his wings as the corruption didn't mesh well with his dragon form at first and his right eye is still covered by said corruption.

Dirk mostly has new scars from weapon strikes, thanks to him preferring to get up and close in a fight, but his warped soul is still the same.

Maul actually had his scars carry over, as evidenced by his right horn being broken and being blind in the same eye.

Reven hasn't sustained any obvious new scars but you wouldn't really be able to tell if he even has any in the first place since he tries to conceal them with his hood and wings.

[dynared]

“Characters in search of a plot” is a pretty good way of putting it. And you aren’t wrong about really weak villains. I think a lot of bigotry allegories tend to fall apart if you scratch them a bit but this one is particularly bad. Mostly I think I just don’t like how the war machines get treated with more leniency by the writing than any human it seems.

I’m pretty new to the franchise and was initially really interested in the IDW comics but the more I’ve heard about them the less enthused I am. I mostly gather wonky characterizations, a weirdly BNF-y trend to the fandom and poorly written space politics.

I also… may have spent a decent amount of time in a fandom with a weird amount of imperialism apologia because “well things had to change!” so I get really antsy if I feel any rumblings in that direction. Pity because I love Space Operas, I’m interested in Cybertronian worldbuilding and I’d like less focus on the humans but little of it sounds done well. I may try them at some point to at least form proper opinions but they sound like an incohesive mess, and not in the fun way.

I do hope that the people who enjoy them are having fun though. And despite my reservations and some issues I am quite enjoying the Skybound comics for the most part! Though time will tell if it stays that way.

There's a decent amount here, so let's go through it one step at a time since I don't want to come off as ignoring things:

One could argue that "characters in search of a plot" is probably a better conundrum than a plot where you just don't like the characters. I fully believe some of the Terrans might get another shot at being featured in something, even if it is with modified backstories not connected to the Maltos. Twitch is probably the most likely to get another crack at a big role, although I could see her being portrayed as just a regular Autobot in a subsequent production. Hashtag, despite a name that might make some cringe, actually seems to be the closest the brand has come to a proper Blaster replacement, and Jawbreaker as the Dinobots kid sibling would make a lot of sense and serve to humanize them in a future work. Unfortunately Thrash, who doesn't have much of a personality, and Nightshade, who has become a lightning rod of controversy, I'm less sure about.

That said, bigotry allegories are tough in the best of times. Even in good cases, they're often subject to bad faith readings, and in bad cases, like here? Forget it. It's an awkward, clunky mess that heavily contradicts the rest of the franchise, in particular the comic they're releasing right now where the Cons could not give a damn about anything other than themselves, and whose Starscream is a sadistic bully. But the writers here are clearly fans of the fanfic Cons, so in trying to make them as sympathetic as possible, their cruelty and issues are swept under the rug. It was worse in IDW admittedly since the Autobots were oftentimes just terrible people, so you were often let with no one to root for. For all its problems, the Autobots in Earthspark are more often than not ineffectual, not evil, which is probably because Hasbro pumped the brakes on having cash cows like Optimus Prime be shown as evil without say, brainwashing.

I would not recommend the IDW comics to anyone. The few gems of characterization and concepts cannot make up for the mountains of coal that was most of their run, and IDW2, the prequel that tries to establish a framework for the Great War? The damned thing was so slow and boring that no one mourned IDW losing the license. Not to mention if you're not REALLY familiar with these characters and why you should care about the variances in how they're portrayed, I find most people would just be completely lost, and if you don't like how the portrayals are altered, frustrated. It's simply put, not a fun comic unless you are in the market for a very specific portrayal.

The main issue with the humans (something the very first Transformers comic writer, Bob Budinansky noted was important) was that without that connection, the Transformers could be anything else. They could be humans with power armor, weird bug aliens, or freakish mutants. But it's that relationship and contrast with the humans that makes them special. That's not to say that there are versions of the story that significantly overdo the human element, because there assuredly are, but to have it be completely absent is to cut off part of why we invest in these characters.

Finally, while the Skybound Energon Universe is a little less than a year old, and there are definitely some concerns as well as plot holes that hopefully the narrative will fill in later, I argue that those comics have bought something that seemed to be missing from so much Transformers media as of late, a sense of actual fun. The writers get mecha and what makes them cool. They get the core of why these characters work. I can only hope that the quality stays high, especially with Daniel Warren Johnson, part of why I think the comics have been so good (no one in IDW would dare think of references pro wrestling or the 08th MS Team) phasing out of the book.

[kuvvydraws]

Train plane anon had me howling with laughter! Made my day. seeing you answer asks makes me feel more comfortable of the idea to open asks for my own oc. But onward to questions: As I love the annoying and judging aspects of Praetorius, his opinion on children, monster or human? Does he have any good memories of the Underground before joining the guard? And when Praetorius’ brother engages more, does that help Praetorius with expecting threats around him or will that always remain?

They were gooood but having OC asks is so fun! It helps get your OCs a bit of traction, people get interested in them because they get to explore them through their own lense with "canon" content and the creator gets a lot of engagement, which makes your all fuzzy and happy - everyone wins!

Praetorius is judgemental to anyone regardless of everything, so he's a good subject to measure the general public opinion if you're looking for a negative scope.

When it comes to children, Praetorius doesn't dislike them, and you could even say he likes them, though he often moves in the tolerance spectrum, depending on how annoying a particular child is.

He doesn't differentiate between species; monsters have a similar range of childhood years if we're talking about mental development, with a 2-3 year window depending on the subtype, and the biggest distinction would be the physical maturity of their bodies, as each type ages differently.

Praetorius believes children are a good experiment (bear with me) to figure out the heartbeat of society - children are not dumb but they're more foul-mouthed and less careful than adults, so you can expect them to reveal that parents would generally say in the privacy of their homes. At the same time, he never dares assume age and intelligence develop at the same time - more than once he's found a little rascal on the streets who managed to impress him, and he's quick to recommend them to join the Guard when they're age-appropriate – he's always in need of good soldiers, and if he can recruit them when they're younglings, that's even better, as they can be trained and accustomed to a military life sooner, which makes adaptation easier.

Many would call that grooming, and they wouldn't be wrong. But the Crown still needs assets, and the Commander needs them to be good at their jobs so they don't die their first day out on the field.

Regarding his childhood memories, he mostly keeps in mind his father. He got some good twelve years before getting recruited, and his brain always conjures the sense of longing and safety, the perspective of his father's imposing height, his big hand grabbing his little one, his fingers barely able to cling to it. Sometimes he recalls smells out of the blue, or flavors he can no longer place, and he really wishes he could have saved any toys from his childhood, even if to have them hidden somewhere in his chambers.

And for Laudaris... His presence is troubling but also a calming balm. Praetorius is used to being surrounded by soldiers, some of them even trained personally by him, so he knows he can trust them to protect themselves. But Laudaris doesn't have training. He's not a fighter. And maybe he can indeed shortcut and summon blasters and bones and engage in encounters... But he doesn't really know how to fight. And humans can do so much damage just by wanting it...

So Praetorius is extra worried with Laudaris around, because he will never be able to overcome his panic, not truly — he's been conditioned to remain suspicious and on guard all his life, it's been beaten into him, and over and over his suspicions have been proven true, so his mind wouldn't be able to let go of that behavior. He's good at masking and burying it deep down though, so he can have a normal life, but in key situations where his stress levels are off the charts he's bound to react violently. It doesn't happen often at all, whenever he acts aggressively I can assure you he means it.

[artemismoorea03]

Vlad was less than happy when Valerie "suddenly" changed sides and started ignoring orders from 'Masters' while also hunting 'Plasmius' like he had a literal target on both of their backs. Instead of Vlad being able to put together the fact that it all happened after he nearly killed Elle and the fact that Valerie was still hunting Danny he jumped to the assumption that Danny had told Valerie his secret.

So, as punishment Vlad "stopped holding back" during his and Danny's fights.

But, of course attacking Danny in the city would mean that Valerie would get involved or that Sam and Tucker would try to have Danny's back. So, he waited until Danny was exploring the Ghost Zone during one of his sleepless nights.

Normally Danny could hold his own against Vlad, especially when he knew fights were coming and with as consistent as fighting had been lately Danny was always on guard for potential attacks. This time was different, he had brought Ghost Hunting into the tech which was majorly against the rules (Walker would be pissed). These rules made sense though, the type of ectoplasm that made the the weapons dangerous didn't mix well with the ectoplasm in the air directly around where it affected and caused a type of reaction that would destroy and make the ectoplasm in that area toxic and sickly. Then, when the ectoplasm hit a target it had a habit of exploding.

Something Vlad knew but didn't care about.

The first blast had thrown Danny back, leaving a streak of corrupted ectoplasm between he and Plasmius. Injuries stung as he tried to remember to breathe and that he was alright but they were just scrapes and his ears were screaming. By the time he tried to remember that he needed to move another blast hit him, throwing him forward this time as corrupted ectoplasm and the blast cut into his back. It ripped up his suit, cut into his skin and burned everywhere the corrupted ectoplasm hit.

Danny screamed out in pain, rolling as he tried to right himself, ectoplasmic blood now dripping down his face as he trembled and growled. "Vlad! Stop this, you know the rules-"

"And I thought you did as well, Daniel. But, it seems that rules hardly mean a thing at the end of the day, doesn't it?"

"For the last time you absolute fruitcake! I didn't tell Valerie! She-"

"'figured it out on her own'? Please, you have used that excuse for weeks, Daniel. Am I really supposed to believe that after months of having absolutely no idea about my identity she suddenly figured it out. Try again." Vlad said, holding the ghost hunting blaster towards Danny again.

Danny gasped, trying to fly away as the weapon fired, cutting across his left thigh burning away the suit and cutting into the skin under it. Danny righted himself again, throwing ectoblasts towards Vlad while also trying to avoid hitting the corrupted ectoplasm.

"That's exactly what happened! Dang it, Vlad! I'm not dumb enough to tell anybody your secret, least of all a Ghost Hunter! We may be enemies but I don't want you dead!" He shouted, hitting the ectoblaster which knocked Vlad back slightly before he spun around and fired the weapon again.

With a hiss, Danny put up an ectoshield to protect himself. Something that would have protected him in the living world but in the Ghost Zone it just doubled the problems. The second the attack hit the shield made out of ectoplasm it became corrupted and exploded all at the same time.

Ectoplasm hit Danny full force, throwing him backwards as burns and cuts littered his body, and his transformation was ripped away from him simply as his Core tried to protect itself. Danny's head was screaming, his core was throbbing and pulsing in warning, and his skin was continuing to burn.

"It's time we finish this, Daniel! Once and for all!" Vlad said, blindsiding Danny in his moment of pain as he slammed into Danny.

Danny had no idea what happened next except for the fact that he and Vlad rolled through the ectoplasmic sky for a short time before the tumbled through a portal and ended up crashing directly onto a hard wooden floor surrounded by figures and shocked gasping.

Everything hurt, Danny couldn't breathe and felt horribly sick. It was all too much. Still, he forced his eyes open as he looked around. There were at least fourty people, all looking down at them with varying levels of shock and surprise as Danny tried to roll and push himself up. They were all wearing expensive clothing, a lot of them were holding small black devices that were pointing at Danny. He had no idea what they were but a couple of them flashed.

Danny managed to get himself to his hands and knees, trying to crawl away when a hand grabbed Danny by the back of his belt, dragging him backwards as he shouted in pain.

"Not so fast, Daniel. We're not done!"

Danny hissed, grabbing the Ghost Hunting weapon that had been dropped to the ground when they fell and swung it behind him, hitting Vlad across the face with it. He didn't dare fire it in a room full of people but it was enough to get Vlad to let him go.

Danny then scrambled to his feet, stumbling as he pressed his hand to his thigh and continued to hold the gun like it was a bludgeoning weapon. He glanced around at the people again which were beginning to blur together.

"Get back!" Danny called to them, "He's dangerous! You need to get out of here!" When nobody responded he frowned, thankfully though one man seemed to snap to attention.

"This made one man with neat black and and blue eyes snap to attention. ""Everybody! Out!" He called frantically as the people seemed to snap to a realization that this wasn't a stunt as they began to push towards the door.

On one hand this got the people out of the way, but on the other it gave Vlad the chance to attack again.

Vlad threw a punch, hitting Danny square in the jaw and throwing him backwards but before Danny could hit the floor Vlad grabbed his wrist, twisting it until the gun slipped out of hit hand and hit the ground. Vlad then turned Danny so he was facing him, continuing to hold his wrist with one hand while the other gripped his throat, cutting off the little air he had been getting.

"Really, Daniel. Even now as you suffer you think of the pathetic lives of those around you? You have such incredible power, yet you refuse to use the power how you should use it! They don't care about you, and those who do care about you only want to use you. I tried to give you a chance to train your powers properly, but now that time is gone. Unfortunately you insist on getting in the way and betraying my trust at every turn, so for the sake of my own sanity I'll put you out of your misery." Vlad said, glancing over his shoulder at the closing portal. "But, we're low on time, so I will rid of you in our world. After all, what better place to kill a hero than the place he tried so hard to protect." Vlad growled, dragging Danny back towards the portal.

"Let. Go!" Danny wheezed, clawing at the gloved hands on his throat.

"Not a chance, Little Badger. This is what happens to those who want to play hero."

Danny glanced behind Vlad as he noticed a man with black and white hair pick up the ghost hunting weapon, looking at Vlad as he aimed. Danny's eyes widened as thoughts spiraled.

If the guy fired Vlad would let him go to react to the pain or they would get flung into the portal. Danny had to get away from Vlad first.

Danny then did what any teenager would do when face to face with a potential kidnapper.

He kicked Vlad in the crotch.

Vlad shouted, letting Danny go as Danny dropped to the ground with a thump. "Really?! You pathetic little-"

"Hey, Dracula!" A voice called, this one belonging to a man with tan skin and wavy black hair.

Vlad snarled in the man's direction, pulling his attention from Danny just as the white streaked man figured out how to use the Ghost Hunting weapon and fired it. The blast slammed into Vlad's side, flinging him into the portal just as it closed behind Vlad, putting a dimensional wall between him and Danny.

On one hand, Danny was safe.

But on the other, where the hell was he?

The two men that had helped Danny ran to his side, placing the weapon down as Danny gave them a thumbs up.

"Great teamwork, fellas..." Danny said, trying to roll. "Ugh... I gotta get outta here before the Police show up..."

"Wow, slow down there, kid. You don't look to be in the condition to do anything." The streaked haired man said with a frown, as Danny looked at him surprised. The man reeked of Corrupted Ectoplasm. Or... maybe that was Danny. He was pretty covered in the stuff. "Why you runnin' from the cops?"

"Oh, y'know. The whole 'being ripped apart molecule by molecule' thing is a good motivator to avoid them." He said, being prevented from rolling again from the fluffier haired man as he took his jacket off and placed it onto Danny's chest, covering his injuries.

The two men looked alarmed.

"I have several follow up questions." White streak mumbled, the two turning to look towards the door as the shadows seemed to come alive as a figure in a long black cape walked out of the shadows.

The black caped man looked at the two taller men then at Danny.

"What... are you?"

"That's Batman." Fluffy hair said.

"Who?" Danny questioned, the two looking alarmed once again.

"Batman? The Dark Knight? The Vigilante-slash-Hero that protects Gotham City?" White Streak explained as though it would clear anything up.

"Am... am I supposed to know who that is? Or what a Gotham is? That sounds fake." Danny pushed the hands of the fluffy haired man off of him as he finally managed to get up and stumble. As he stumbled the 'Batman' guy caught him and looked at him.

"Do you at least know what a hero is?" Fluffy hair asked.

"Yeah, like comics and stuff."

"Then you know he can help. You're afraid of the cops so the hospital probably isn't an option either, right?" White streak said.

"Yeah... no hospital."

"Then Batman is your best bet." White streak explained.

Danny looked up at Batman, with a frown before whimpering as pain ripped through him. He was in a lot of pain, he could hear sirens approaching, he had no idea where he was or who this 'Batman' was, but considering that Vlad was so far the only other known option he chose to bite the bullet.

"Fine... I'll trust the bat." Danny said.

Batman relaxed, looking at the other two. "I've got him. Your father is probably worried, go catch up."

The two nodded, then jogged off leaving Danny alone with Batman.

"What's your name?"

"Danny..."

"Last name?"

"Just Danny."

Batman nodded, "Alright, 'just Danny'. Let's get you out of here before the police show up." Batman said, doing his best to support Danny as they took a few steps, but again his injured leg gave out from under him, resulting in the Batman not only catching him this time but picking him up and carrying him.

"I can walk." Danny grumbled.

"Clearly." Batman said, then put his hand to his hear. "Oracle, inform Penny-One that we're coming in with an injured teenager."

Danny sighed, looking back to where the portal had been as he then touched one of the wounds on his chest.

Vlad had been too close. Going back home wouldn't be an option, especially now but he had no idea where he was or when he was. He had to trust this 'Bat' and whoever 'Oracle' and 'Penny-One' were, but that would be easier said than done.

Dp x dc idea 149

Vlad and Danny are in a ghost fight. Vlad hits him with an attack forcing him human.

Just then a portal opens. Vlads attack continues and they both crash through the portal. Danny crashing into the floor in the center of a Wayne gala.

To everyone else they see a wannabe vampire look alike just attacking a random black hair blue eyed teen. Forcing him through a portal.

[loth-wolffe]

Do you think we could get “ i guess somewhere along the way, i fell in love. and i don’t know how it happened, or when, but… “ with Rex, please? I read a really heart breaking fic with him last night and could just really use something sweet and fluffy with a happy ending. If not, totally fine! :)

@generaldumbbitch kindly asked: could i request rex x jedi reader with the prompt “I've been trying to talk myself out of it." "Then talk yourself into it."

Do I wanna know?

(if this feeling floats both ways)

Pairing: our precious blonde captain x jedi!reader.

Word count: 1,6k not proofread you know the drill.

Warnings: mutual pining and yearning come with their own warning. this is a lil bit of a slow burn I think ?? the use of sir is neutral in this house. mentions of rex touching himself 👀 but nothing explicit okay it's a safe space here.

It wasn't usual for Rex to get injured, but it hasn't been one of those days where he got minor scratches, maybe a few dark bruises here and there but most of the time he has been untouched.

Today, though, war has been rougher than usual, a deep cut was found on his side that he doesn't know how he got, face covered in small, little cuts and he could still taste the blood from his split lip.

Which had led him to you, in a way, as he looked for supplies he ended up finding you, and in your stubborn nature you had offered to help him clean his wounds, with a racing heart and fluttering butterflies he had no option but to let out a rushed "yes sir."

After properly applying bacta on his side, you take extra care with his face, skilled hands softly pressing the wet cloth on the wounds. He doesn't hiss, nor shows discomfort, only flinching occasionally, as if he was too familiar with the feeling, too used to the pain it brought.

Amber eyes find you sometimes, as he takes quick glances he hopes you don't notice. He takes a good look of you, the way you bite your lip in concentration, your furrowed brows, how your hair looks, the little necklace hanging from it's hidden place under your robes.

"Is there something on your mind, Rex?"

Sometimes he forgets you're a Jedi, a General, his superior, when he has you so close, this close, and when your hands brush together when he hands you whatever, his heart beating loudly in his ears, mostly when you touch him, your hand on his shoulder or back, on his forearm or waist when you pass by and to move him in the slightest.

He forgets the most at night, when he thinks on where else you could touch him, in how your lips would feel against his, your hands exploring his body and his name falling from your lips in a state of delirious bliss. Shame crawling back into his mind right after as he remembers again who you are, always out of his limit but he can't find it in himself to stop, not when you look at him like that.

"Nothing, General." He finally admits, a lie he hopes you don't sense but you do.

Pulling back to assess him, he already misses you, you give him a look, one that tells him you're not impressed.

"No need for formalities, I have already told you that." You give him an easy smile, one that feels like melting his insides and turning into a puddle.

Only you have the power to leave him nothing but helpless. He's not sure he hates it.

"Sorry, Ge–" your pointed eyes make him chuckle, quickly changing the rank for your name. You give him your most charming smile and he's left hypnotized, sucking a breath when you lean over again, going back to tend his wounds.

He's got it bad for you.

"So?" You ask, in the simplest of murmurs, as if speaking any louder would break your concentration.

"So?" He echoes, confused, warm eyes never leaving you and when your eyes meet, he blushes slightly.

There's something about the intimacy of it all that leaves him this I don't know what in his chest that makes him feel like a cadet all over again.

"The thing you want to tell me, what is it?"

"I don't–" There is something in your eyes he feels drawn to, magnetized by the color of your irises and the emotions they try to shield from him. Rex sighs, he knows there's no way around this, and he wonders if this was your plan all along, to corner him somewhere and casually urge him to confess. "I've been feeling something," he eventually mumbles, eyes looking forward to the door, he's not sure he wants to see your expression.

There's this little mhm that leaves your throat, and he can see from the corner of his eyes how your attention falls in the cut on his forehead. Your eyes flicker to his.

"I wanted to ask you..." he thinks, if you feel the same? "for an advice." He doesn't wait for you to answer, already knowing you're willing to help him out, like you have always been. "There's this– someone." You stop your movement, surprised for a moment and he finds that your unreadable expression makes him anxious.

There's no turning back now.

"And I'm not sure they feel the same, so I've been trying to talk myself out of it, and–"

"Then you should try to talk yourself into it."

You sound so sure, he's sincerely surprised. He watches you go back to the task at hand, the cloth trying to remove the dried blood from his skin.

"You think?"

"We need more love in the galaxy Rex, there's been too much pain these days to stop ourselves from feeling anything but something that resembles it, don't you think?"

He frowns, taking in your words and he supposes you must be right, you're a Jedi, at the end of the day, wiseness is something you have by default, isn't it?

"I guess."

There's a silence that follows, where it's just you working and the rumble of the machines. It's not awkward, per se, but it's not as comfortable as it was when you first begun.

"It's you," he says after a while in the most casual tone possible. He's got nothing more but his life to lose.

You take a step back, looking at him with confusion written in your face, and his hands are shaking with all the emotions he's trying to put at bay. He can't take it back. Not now. He's never been one to stand down from a fight.

"I–" he clears his throat, "the one I have uh, feelings for. I guess somewhere along the way, I fell in love." He finds your eyes, and there's nothing in them that calms him down. He panics, an awkward cough leaves his throat and he feels his neck and ears burning. "With you. And I don't know how it happened, or when, but I, I, I do."

Before he gives you a second to react, he's already standing up, probably opening the cut from his side with the action.

"I apologize if this is too unprofessional, I should probably head out and–"

"Wait," it's a whisper, and it could be humiliating the power you hold over him if it wasn't for the excuse in the back of his mind that reminds him he was bred to follow orders. "You don't want to know what I have to say?"

He hesitates, torn between wanting to know, if the gentleness in your tone and the barely-there smile you're giving him is something to go by, or not wanting to know for the possible consequences of whatever answer your might give him.

If you don't love him back, he doesn't think he'll be able to live with it, much less with how close you and his General are, always working together and Maker, Cody is never going to let him hear the end of it.

But if you do, he could be court martial if anyone finds out, but that's nothing compared to you being casted out from the order. He knows their ideals, he has heard enough from the Commander, you could be torn away from everything you know. He's not worth it, he knows. Compared to everything your life is, he's nothing.

Yet, he nods.

You walk towards him, closing the distance that separates you, Rex wishes you didn't, he can never think straight when you're so close, hence the predicament he finds himself in.

When your hand cups his cheek, he flinches, he has never felt anything close to soft against his skin, always the end of someone's knuckles, the steel of some droid, the heat of a blaster shot. Never something so tender as someone else's hand, slightly calloused by the arduous training of the art of holding a lightsaber and the constant firmness in your grip that these unrelenting times need you to have.

Your eyes fall on him, analyzing his expression that lays so vulnerable in his face when there's nothing that helps him mask it, he seems timid, and like he was about to brace for a punch that never comes.

"You know," your voice serene, warm, and he doesn't understand why, how in the middle of all this, buried in corpses and hands dripping with blood you still find a way to shine so bright, to illuminate a path for him in the chaos of everything and anchor him back. "If you weren't so ready to sprint back to your quarters, I could tell you that I'm in love with you too."

"You are?" You smile, warmed by his naiveness, and he gulps when he sees your eyes flickering to his lips.

"I thought I was obvious," you try to explain, the amused glint in his face warms his cheeks, "I've been flirting with you since I met you, Captain, what took you so long?"

"You were?"

You chuckle, pressing the lightest of kisses on the corner of his mouth, a peck, soft and sweet for him to crumble down at your feet. He feels light-headed and you have barely done anything.

"Are you going to kiss me, trooper?"

He nods, licking his lips with anticipation, taking a moment to learn by heart the gleam in your eyes, and the little marks of your face, and the shape of your lips, and everything that makes you, you.

Rex smiles lightly, closing the gap between your bodies with a single step, his own gloved hands cupping your face.

"Sir, yes sir."

taglist: @foodandbooksplease @dottiechan @ladykatakuri @tacticalsparkles @lightning-wolffe @hellothere-generalangsty @beskarprincessjenny @badbatch-simp24 @milppa @obi-bae-kenobi @rowansparrow @queencousland101 @dagobahbound @huntersbandana @kavecika @paige6768 @thetiredtoad0-0 @baroclinicinstability @murdertoothpick @ahsoka1 @kybacrystal @smoldjarin @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @amaryllis23

[karamell-sweetz]

hey i would love to hear you rant about the balance in utmv and why it sucks

kris you are my sole enabler. thank you.

short version: the balance doesn't make sense and is overused.

long version: below. might wanna strap in, i don't know how long it is...

⚠️ the following statements are all /lh and are not intended to offend anyone. to anyone currently writing/making something involving the balance, please keep going, i'm sure it'll be great! i'm just getting tired of seeing it over and over again (so i decided to start the revolution /j). ⚠️

❗️also, slight tw: slight mentions of sewer slide, slight mentions of body horror❗️

first of all, the whole fgod error thing is okay. it's a cute concept – actually, maybe all of the "error's broken and bleeding bones" and "error flung himself into the void to escape it all" is more disturbing than cute, but you get what i mean – and i will respect this. i'm pretty sure that 'healing what has been broken' was the pioneer for destructivedeath and errormare — and this i can acknowledge! i just want to let people know that i am getting tired of seeing the same thing over and over again... which is why i'm writing a rant.

my first gripe with the balance: it exists. the whole shtick with the balance is that it's a limitation of sorts, a rule of thumb for ink and error to follow when they're doing their little multiversal god things. now tell me: if the multiverse/doodle sphere is a representation of the creative activity of the entire fandom...... why does it have a maximum capacity anyway? technically, new things are being created every single second of every single day, so if they were to come into existence at the same time then i think error would be rendered immobile at this point, according to the lore of the fgod au.

it'd be like: "*clenches soul area* aw crap. ink's making another useless au again *drops onto the floor* aw crap and another one *writhes* why the heck are there so many aughhhhhhh"

this leads to my second gripe: in a lot of these kinds of fics it's shown that ink is the creator of all the universes.

now that's fine and dandy, but canonically ink doesn't create shit.

he's the multiversal protector, meaning that he just makes sure they don't die. it's not like he himself made the characters within them suffer (in fact i'm pretty sure he doesn't really care for the people anyway, so the existence of the council is just. clever but strange), that's our fault because we made the au, not him! so really if we want to make error suffer less then we're going to have to leave the fandom for absolute dead or sth,,,,, which at this point is sort of impossible. (personally, i have been stuck here for around five years now and i always come back no matter how hard i try to leave.)

oh and i know that he can make living things like gaster blasters and stuff, but he's still the multiversal protector so that shouldn't mean that he can make whole aus on the spot. and i also know that this is an au in itself, but this is sort of a really important detail i think? i hope nobody's sleeping on this.

a third, sort of minor gripe: the concept of sides is also really strangely handled. ink's little council thing is fun tbh but everyone's such a shallow bitch and it's frustrating (which is sort of the point ig but it's worse when that's how they're portrayed in EVERY. SINGLE. BALANCE. FIC.) and i know that there are insiders like blue and idk fresh ig...... but this isn't a spy mission? just communicate with the other side? nightmare's gang is the only redeemable thing about this au because their dynamics are so cute (and i'm a murder time trio + cross fan so i just think it's neat), but even they're kinda shallow sometimes. and also (thank you for this one kris) i thought that positivity and negativity were meant to coexist? there's absolutely NO reason, NONE, why the council couldn't just. get the other team into the meeting and talk it out with them?! it's so easy to solve your problems?? just use your tiny pea brains a little??? my frickingh god???? like literally all of this could have been solved if y'all just TALKED for once oml.

and now for my fourth, final, and largest gripe of all: IT'S SO OVERUSED. i'm not even talking about the balance itself, the plotlines for this au are all copypastes too! for example, error having to sit down with ink and tell him about the balance? ink getting upset about his ignorance? heard it at least five times, honey. what next, are they going to go and save the multiverse from your oc character who just so happens to be messing with everything? and maybe you'll become friends...... oR sOmEtHinG mOrE?

(great bricks, if i see the phrase 'friends..... or something more????.??.????' one more time i am going to rip myself apart.)

i will acknowledge that there are some original things out there, but most of the premises are still the same. and in most of these ink and the council are absolute jerks for no reason at all. please. please please please i'm so tired. if i see one more thing about error jumping into the void istg i will jump with him. (sorry i ran out of steam here but you get what i mean right? the balance is everywhere!)

anyway tldr: screw the balance. it doesn't make sense and it's been milked to hell and back.

thanks for your interest in my (maybe unpopular?) opinion. you are free to disagree (or join me in the revolution!)

ps: im sorry this is a long-ish post. i had a shorter version that i put on my wattpad but it didn't sound very persuasive so i wrote this chunky thing.

pps: i might have gotten some things wrong (i've been stuck in rhythm game hell for about six months now) so feel free to correct me about things! (*´-`)

[mythandlaur]

EE Week - Day 5

POTENTIAL MAJOR SPOILERS. Though everyone is only referred to with nicknames, this features Bliss Ocean members who have not yet been officially introduced, including the boss. This is also why I'm posting this in the AC tag instead. Read at your own risk!

--

TOTALLY UNSUSPICIOUS SERVER THAT DOES NOT CONTAIN ANY EVIL PLANS WHATSOEVER

User List:

SUPREME SERVER EMPRESS -- 1 SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!

Boss -- 1 Lethe

Online -- 3 💗💖Aphrodite💖💗 boudica Sundance🔆

Offline -- 1 Mercedes (always set to invisible)

-- SUNDAY - 12:16 PM --

Mercedes: I saw the news. Mercedes: I leave you people alone for a week. Mercedes: One. Week.

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: is somebody talking????? i cant see their messages!!!!

Mercedes: I know you don't actually have me blocked.

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: wow theyre still going i bet theyre saying something reallllllll stupid rn lolll

Lethe: The museum? Lethe: I can assure you that was not us. I would not have authorized that; I am not yet completely insane

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: bet

Lethe: Please.

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: pbfffffth

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: wait what news 💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: 🍵🍵🍵 💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: gimme~

Mercedes: Where have you been? It's everywhere.

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: I'm in the inspiration zone 📝

Sundance🔆: sittin on the couch with a tub of icecream watching shitty romcoms ?

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: You shut your mouth >:(

Mercedes: The Arsene Amulet was stolen from the Sweet Jazz Museum last night.

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: Wait the epithet stealing one?

Lethe: The very same.

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: ;ooooo

Mercedes: I know the Banzais wound up getting it but I assumed the independent inscribed there might've been ours.

boudica: no

Mercedes: I wasn't going to say anything.

boudica: better not

Lethe: No, they were not ours, and in fact we're trying to get the amulet to safety as soon as possible. I've got our best on that.

Mercedes: Oh no.

Sundance🔆: oh yes

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: OH OH LET ME SEND YOU THE PICTURES I TOOK A BUNCH

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: You were there?

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: YEAH LIKE THE WHOLE TIME benefits of not sleeping roflmao

Mercedes: What happened?

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: what are these phantom messages on my screen oOOOooOo

boudica: tell me what happened boudica: now

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: SO BASICALLY a couple chuckleheads were faking being staff to steal the amulet because i guess one of their epithets sucks??? And they wanted a different one???? But also the banzai blasters showed up to steal other stuff and this poindexter kid wanted to study the amulet and then this other kid was locked in and chucklehead 1 and 2 wanted to steal her powers and it turned into a whole Thing SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: a guy thought he was a car and there was a big cow and everything was on fire a couple times and a bunch of walls came down and i think they broke a dinosaur

boudica: of FUCKING course

[ boudica is offline. ]

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: omg did she throw her phone again

Sundance🔆: nah aint heard nothing from my room Sundance🔆: think shes just sore

Lethe: It makes sense. Give her some time.

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: That sounds so wild thoooooo god why this week of all times 😭😭

Mercedes: Because disaster never happens conveniently.

Lethe: It's not a disaster. It's being taken care of.

Sundance🔆: damn right

Mercedes: My mistake. Disaster in progress.

Sundance🔆: say that to my face bitch

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT 👊👊👊

Lethe: That's enough you three

Sundance🔆: fiiiiiine Sundance🔆: anyway i should be gettin outta here on wed shouldnt take more than a day

Lethe: And you were told to keep it quiet if at all possible?

Sundance🔆: i mean i can try but this is me youre dealin with

Lethe: If at all possible.

Sundance🔆: yeah yeah yeah

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: You GOTTA tell us how it goes ok

Mercedes: I'm sure we'll find out on the Thursday news.

Sundance🔆: you forget im the best there is Sundance🔆: people or jewelry i can hunt it down and quiet like too Sundance🔆: just usually less fun that way

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: you got this b <333

Sundance🔆: thankyou kindly little lady

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: GET A ROOOOOOOOM

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: You first ;)

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: OH MY GOD ITS NOT LIKE THAT

Lethe: It really isn't.

💗💖Aphrodite💖💗: No one SAID anything about you 😘

Lethe: Well! Lethe: I'm just saying Lethe: For her sake Lethe: This behavior is extremely unprofessional

Sundance🔆: would love to see boss' face right now

SALLY FINKLESTEIN!!: Full tomato

Sundance🔆: HA

[cora-vizsla]

I miss Paz and Cabur too! ❤

I've really been into soft lately and I saw a couple soft prompts that I really like because they're about admiration and Paz can say them to Cabur and vise versa.

I feel like I could watch you all day. Everything you do has a touch of magic to it.

I sometimes wish you could see yourself through my eyes.

Please don't feel obligated to write anything if you don't feel inspired.

Paring: Female!reader (Cabur) x Paz Vizsla

Rating: Uh, teen maybe? Nothing explicit.

Warnings: Fluff. Like your teeth are rotting out this is so sweet fluff.

AN: I'm gonna try to do this without any angst. Let's see if I am capable of it. (Okay I kind of failed there was a touch of angst in there but not between our two favorite love birds)

Your least favorite part of your job was going different places to meet with new groups. Din wanted all Mandalorian to feel welcome on Mandalore and that was a chore in and of itself. He trusted you the most to be able to work through any situation that could arise and knew you were more than competent in taking care of yourself should you need to. That didn't stop Paz from putting everything on hold to make sure he went with you. Part of you was annoyed that it seemed like he didn't trust you to take care of yourself, but Din reminded you that you would be with him if the roles were reversed.

Paz stood in the back of the meeting hall with his arms crossed over his chest. Any time voices were raised towards you, your eyes glanced over to make sure he didn't have his blaster drawn. Most of the meetings were calm but there were a few of the leaders of different clans that were defensive about needing to follow a Mandalore that they had never met.

"I understand your hesitance. The Mandalorian have been driven apart time and time again. All I am asking is that you send delegation to the planet. You can see first hand the work we have put into rebuilding our planet so that all Mandalorian can thrive the way we should be."

"And how do we know this isn't a trap? You're a child of the watch."

"A child of the watch that is here asking for peace. You think I would have sat down with you if I wanted war? Don't mistake my civility as weakness. I am a warrior just as you are."

"I can't even see your face."

"No. There are only two people in this galaxy that can see my face because I choose to live my life that way. I do not think less of you for taking your helmet off. I ask for that same respect."

The warrior stood up but his partners hand shot out, grabbing his arm. He instantly sat down and looked at them. You had known the warrior in question wasn't the one in charge but hadn't quite put your mind to recognizing the smaller pregnant Mando next to him was in charge.

"Do you have children?"

You nodded once and relax back into your chair.

"I do. A daughter. My riduur and I took her in when her village was attacked."

"Does your clan respect foundlings?"

"They are our greatest asset. There is no future without them. Our Mandalore risked his entire life and creed to protect his foundling. He didn't fight to take the dark saber for power; he was protecting his ad'ika."

Their leader nodded once and sat back.

"It is decided then. I will go. I trust that you are comfortable with me bringing an escort."

"You may bring the entire clan if it was what you want. We only want you to see what we have created and offer you all a place there."

The warrior huffed but stood up to help his partner. She motioned for him to leave with everyone else, staying in front of you.

"You risked your life coming here."

"I understand that."

"Is that why your guard has been staring at you the entire time?"

You laughed and nodded, smiling under your helmet at Paz.

"That is Paz Vizsla, my riduur."

She turned and gave Paz a soft smile which was met with a nod. She turned back to you and placed her hand on her belly.

"I will be honest, part of me is being selfish with going to see the planet."

"Is there something wrong?"

"I am force sensitive. I always have been but I had people who could help train me. I was trained to keep it quiet and hidden away. I don't want that for her."

"You know it's a girl?"

"I do. I can feel her thoughts just like she can feel mine. I have heard rumor you have a Jedi temple there."

You nodded and smiled.

"Our Mandalore has a foundling that is force sensitive. He sent him away with the Jedi to be trained so he would be safe. We arranged to have the temple moved to our city so that families could still be connected with this children, regardless if they follow our creed or not."

"That is wonderful."

"I can arrange for you to meet with Master Skywalker on your visit. Although I am sure he will sense the moment you touch down. Force sensitives are welcome there. Everyone is that believes in our cause."

"Thank you. Let me show you to your lodging for the night. No need to leave right away. It's been a long day."

You nodded and followed the woman, Paz moving to walk next to you. He gently touched his hand on the small of your back making you look up at him. Even without seeing him, you just knew he was smiling down at you. The leader stopped in front of a large tent and smiled at both of you.

"There is food, supplies and a fire set up for you. Please let anyone you find know if you need something. We can hash out the final preparations for our visit in the morning. I'd like to follow you back if that is okay."

"Sounds wonderful."

You walked into the tent and sighed as Paz shut the flaps and tied them shut. He walked over to you and pulled your helmet off, cupping the side of your face.

"I am exhausted."

"You did wonderfully, mesh'la."

"I feel like I argued all day."

"You did but for the right cause. I'm not sure I could have stayed that calm with that di'kut spouting his mouth off constantly."

You huffed out another sigh and sat down on the edge of the bed, putting your face in your hands.

"What is wrong, ner riddur?"

"This just feels hopeless. Every time we find more of our people it is just a fight to move on from he past."

"Is that what you think is happening?"

"I know it is. I'm exhausted from all of it."

"That isn't what I see. I see you fighting for a cause that you believe in. I see you building a future for all the children, even the ones not born yet. You're one of the strongest warriors I know and yet here you are using your words to bring us all together. I feel like I could watch you all day. Everything you do has a touch of magic to it."

He pulled your hands off your face and you saw that he no longer had his helmet on now that he was kneeling in front of you. You smiled at him and let yourself relax slightly.

"I sometimes wish you could see yourself through my eyes."

"I probably wouldn't like what I see."

"Impossible, ner kar'taylir darasuum" (my love)

"Wonder if the other warriors would be as afraid of you if they knew what a sap you are."

"A sap that would rip them to pieces just for looking at you wrong."

You smiled fully as he leaned in to kiss you. Once he pulled away you started to pull his armor off, stacking it neatly at the end of the bed. He watched you intently, a soft smile on his face until you both had your armor off.

"Let's get some sleep."

"How about you lay down so I can bring you some food. Then we can lay in this giant bed together until you fall asleep."

You hummed playfully and made a face like you were thinking.

"I guess that is okay."

"You guess? That's how it is?"

You giggled as he picked up you and tossed you back down on the bed making you laugh even harder.

"Just lay there, ad'ika. Let me take care of you."

"Don't need you to."

"I know."

"But it feels nice to know that you always will."

"Until my dying breath, mesh'la."

Tag List

@mapplestrudel @computeringturtle @the-lady-of-stars @mrsdaamneron @janelongxox

[hamsolo]

“☄️” and I’ll write a description/ story of your life as a Jedi

(note: Star Wars and any recognizable characters/ settings/ ideas do NOT belong to me.)

Thank you for being patient with me as I worked on this, Max. Hope you enjoy it!

send me an emoji and I’ll write you as a SW character

The heat, the smoke...I can still feel it. The screams, the blaster fire...I can still hear it. It's been almost a week, but it feels like it's been seconds.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, I should start at the beginning...after all, it's not like I have anywhere to be. Hah!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My fellow Jedi, Mikko Anturr, and I were scouting the cliffs on a forest planet. What planet? I forget the name. Mikk was always better with names. Our troops were with us of course, led by Commanders Zorn and Carnin.

It was all the usual shenanigans; play fighting, me teasing Mikk about his crush and he teasing me about mine.

"I do not!" I huffed. I could feel my cheeks burning up, all the way to the tips of my ears.

"Yes, you do! I'm sorry, Maxin, you're just not good at hiding your feelings around them! You're always stumbling about around Corin...it's embarrassing actually, I'm embarrassed-Hey!"

I'm swinging my lightsaber at him; a green blur cutting through the morning haze in the humid forest. I swing again, goading him. Luckily for me, Mikk takes the bait.

An orange blade cuts off my third swing and soon we've dissolved into laughing fits. It's a wonder that neither of us has managed to attain the rank of Jedi knight at all.

"Sirs, one of the men has found something!" Commander Carnin, waves us over.

"I'll get you next time, Max."

"Wanna bet?" I smirk. "You only appeared to have the high ground because-."

"Sirs, please!"

After that, it was business as usual. Don't get me wrong we could goof off but we could be serious as well. We were truthfully both knighted by Grand Master Yoda. We just had a little bit more fun than some of the other Jedi.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All of a sudden a shot rang out and Mikk froze, gasped, and then collapsed. Just dropped like a sack of droid parts. Behind him, Commanders Zorn and Carnin raised their blasters.

I was still processing what happened to my friend when I heard Commander Zorn, who was like a friend to me call out, "One target down, one more dead ahead."

Target? What target?

With another shot, the blaster fire whizzed right by my head. I could smell burnt hair.

Oh, Force. My stomach dropped. It's me. I'm the target.

Another shot, more burning. They were getting closer. So I did the only thing I could think of, I turned and ran.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My heart was hammering in my chest and blood pounded in my ears. I tried not to move a single muscle, sitting in the trees. Watching as the troopers. My men, my friends. Watching as they searched for me, not to rescue me but to eliminate me. Permanently.

What was going on? Years later I would discover what exactly possessed these men to do this. Now? Now, I was searching, searching the Force for answers, and receiving none.

It felt like hours before all the men left the immediate area. My only hope of survival and making my way back to the ship was that Clone troopers were not Force-sensitive.

Step by step, careful to not make any sounds, I crept back to the clearing where we landed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two of the three moons were high in the sky when the ships came into view. Glancing around and sensing no one, I slid down. Just as I carefully moved between trees, I carefully moved over the dirt, rocks, plants, and fallen tree limbs.

I was halfway to the first ship when...BOOM! A detonator was set off and I was thrown back. Dirt kicked up and debris flew all over the clearing. The ship was no more.

"Freeze! The less you resist, the less painful it will be."

"Are you saying that to me or the troops, Commander?"

"To you, Sir."

"Are you so sure?"

Igniting my lightsaber once more, I took a deep breath. "Trust in the Force," I told myself "It's gotten you this far."

Commander Zorn calls out to the troops surrounding the clearing, and by extension, me.

"Ready?"

"Aim"

But he doesn't get to complete the command, I begin swinging my lightsaber around every which way. My goal is to get to the second ship, Mikko's ship. This cannot be the end for me. I am meant for more...

At first, I am only blocking the shots, waiting for my men to snap out of it. But they're not my men anymore...not really. By the time I'm next to the ship, I'm full-on attacking. Slicing and chopping and cutting. Fighting for my life.

I've made it, my hand curls around the handle to the side hatch.

"Not so fast, Jedi." I shot rings out. He misses again. He won't miss a third time. "Stand down."

I turn to face him, Commander Zorn. A man I once called a friend. We broke bread together on dozens of planets, faced the Separatists together, and shared many stories. I knew his quirks and habits; everything from his favorite food to how he held himself in battle.

His posture.

The man in front of me was not that man, he was too rigid, too tight. there was something wrong deeply wrong. So wrong that I almost felt bad about what I was going to do. Almost.

My lightsaber clashed with Zorn and his scream is something that I won't ever forget. High-pitched until it wasn't. Until it was silence after the thud of a body hitting the ground. Dropping like a sack of droid parts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I immediately engage the engines and initiate the take-off sequence on the ship. I don't where I want to go next, just someplace quiet. Someplace where no one knows who or what I am.

[abloodsugarblaster]

Blood Sugar Blaster Reviews 2023! Is This Safe? Read My Experience!

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[the-firebird69]

It's about 15 miles long and you can't tell this is long because you're looking at it from the wrong angle and when things are huge it's how they appear. But it's about the shape and it looks weird because the weapon is safety's on it that discharge is excess energy it doesn't come out to the right shape as a matter of fact it's dissipated so much that it looks smaller where it's larger and it's on purpose but it still looks like a blaster. And it is it's extremely powerful and this blaster will knock a hole through a stone ship of Tommy f and approximately one millisecond or less probably a half a millisecond and from 25 miles in one side and 25 miles out the other side and through whatever is in the middle it's extremely powerful

Hera Zues

I'm going there now nobody stop me you're kind of sick I go there and nobody's there it's like the sick Island and he says it's because of electrical activity which might be increased and it would be due to electrical current in the water and items crashed on shore and under the ground so I say this I hope I don't get zapped... It says that houses are like an illusion because I don't get there it looks like it's safe and it really is gross what he says is really weird and gross this is a piping if that's the case would you have a problem and his father says not necessarily unless it was gathered there and I do get what you saying besides Luke Skywalker poof your gone. I don't explain Billy being there and nobody continuously researching it cuz they might not be able to. So got my warning we'll see if anything's down there that's alive if I find animals I didn't know it's not as dangerous as he says but it's all right well I get that

Daniel

You talk too much Daniel this bright eyed boy this is my face so it's going to knock my head off it does that s*** again can't stand me in one of these days is going to knock my head off and yeah it'll come off and there's nothing to it he says the attitudes out of whack people are almost gone and certainly see something you can see his face don't put that f****** s*** near me don't sit right on top of me you piece of dumb s*** you can't do this f****** thing right at all damn it well just having me possessed it doesn't care as much as he says that's why I'm a fat s*** all the time and I say I figured it out but I didn't and I'm stupid and I agree so watch out for me since you don't need your brain you stupid a****** and you won't have one

I got to get the meeting here he stands up to busy and hasn't do things and stops them and we don't same thing with mac and I'm just keep on bothering him like it's a nobody regardless of why it happens unless we take a break while I went to unreal and go visit the island which is why i probably have to do, yeah I'm in the cast that makes sense good it says finally what else do we have to do get you free yacht because you lost all the oil fields and certainly do see a sarcasm and it's real and it's on purpose cuz I'm harassing him. I get knocked out with one punch and his punch is more powerful than most people and his kick is probably gross I really shouldn't go bothering him it's just a stupid thing I'm doing it's like an addiction and he says it's lethal and I can't stand it anymore I'm self destructing. You said his parents were doing that too and even things like I'm a more powerful blaster than ever seen we're not enough of an enticement and now I'm kind of scared cuz they look like they have together. And ken's just sitting there that guy's got some strength. Says it's seated enough of us die and for reasons that are not extremely solid but he's worried about this Tommy f guy. That makes sense it's a balance and I heard this before and it does make sense. I'm sticking to like retarded kids or criminals right in front of them courthouse it's actually very sick cuz he's sitting on the phone saying what we're doing wrong and what we did run in the past and the cops were sitting there listening and we don't care at all and we're really doing nothing to bother you and today we're doing something it'll probably go bother him and they don't mess with something right away he says if we find anything what trigger anything etc now I'm starting to see something that's what we're going to do is it sure Daniel's already headed out there so I guess we'll skip the laundromat why don't you do that he says I get this kind of talk I'm going to stick a knife through your throat if you show up for real... I mean Max want me to do it so I'd be in their custody can you figure it out I have to resist all of them and they're getting more power and you're a huge douchebag cuz you're weak as a f****** God damn girls summer dress.. I'm following something this is how it is can't avoid the place and it's stupid you just want him to do something to us and since they're greeting at them right to his face cuz he has to do his laundry there it's like I can't see it is that that over there and sit there bothering him and bothering him and he's taking over his businesses right in front of him no this is sick and Mac is sick and is losing the whole game right in front of everyone because he's doing the stupid s*** all the time yeah it's him it has to be him it's his laundromat so stupid place to be but they're doing it to him too so I'm going to try and go there first and yeah that should be rich enough lol

Yes if I want free Burger King on top of it and that would be nice doesn't have anything for that though fine fine that's fine

Jason

Damn you talk more than anybody I've ever seen Trump

Fat Tuesday and my father is the one who brought up the island and he said it and it kind of gross mean way to me at his tire shop

Zues Hera

I'm laughing because he's saying it's like Sanford and son and yeah the reference is kind of mean but it's to this weapon it's kind of sitting around and they're idiots and now I see what you're saying they couldn't figure out what it was or where it was or what it was doing or anything so we were directing them there

Salazar and Goddess Wife

[trickstump]

so the thing about professional griefers imo is that it's a kind of commentary on the like. godlike status and religious like following of tech in the modern era, and the ways in which it can easily lead to us all believing we're small gods and becoming, like, apathetic to reality in lieu of living this life we have total control over with very little consequence.

We got machines but the kids got Jesus We like to move like we both don't need this God can't hear you, they won't fight you Watch them build a friend just like you

first verse! "we got machines, but the kids got jesus." to me, that's like- we (people of the past) got machines (computers), but now in the modern era "the kids" and later generations are finding salvation in these machines the same way some people find salvation in the belief of god. they're all holding their own personal jesus who will save them and has all the answers in the palm of their hands. (and, also, we control our own machines so it's like. WE are jesus. is that anything. are we on the page.)

"god can't hear you, they won't fight you" - there is no higher power now looking over or out for us, and the people around you will not put up resistance when, in the end, they can just replicate your presence as easily. commodification of the personality!

Give me the sound to see Another world outside that's full of All the broken things that I made Just give me a life to bleed

a chorus that, to me, is the thesis statement of the song, and a reflection on being a creator in the modern age. "another world outside that's full of all the broken things that i made"- what is my art doing to other people? is it helping anyone, or is it just adding more misery onto the pile? "give me a life to bleed", imo can mean one of two things: a) give me another life and i'll live it earnestly. i'll bleed. there won't be this veneer of apathy or irony. or b) just give me another person in the line so i can bleed them as well, a sort of sarcastic bite at it. (idk it makes me think about how gerard, after tpb, talked about how he made the record to save and help people but it turned out people didn't want to be saved or helped. they just wanted to be miserable.)

getting into the second verse we really get into the video game/digital experience imagery a lot heavier; the song becomes less about the life you're living in reality, and more about living online. the words start to make less sense to anyone who isn't deeply online or into video game culture. "turn up the slam/code/bar/code/blaster", "rez-up". we also start leaning pretty heavy into, like, the imagery of being stuck in a loop of commoditization/"the rat race":

Cell infection, mass destruction Program for the final function Lab Rat King, rescue team Save me from the next life

the last bit- "save me from the next life." running through the video game metaphor, when you die in a video game, it's not over. you're just back in the same loop, time and time again, until you can get past the point you're at, only to maybe die at the next one. you can't break the loop by doing anything other than not playing the game.

(also, here, i think it's a good time to get into the title of the song itself, "professional griefers." in the sense of a video game, a "griefer" is someone whose entire schtick is that they're trying to deliberately ruin the game for other people. a professional griefer, then would be someone whose entire life is dedicated to deliberately destroying the experience of other people's games. again, a couple readings there, but the one i like best is that the "game" being ruined is the apathy towards reality- not letting people be comfortable in their dismissal and lack of care towards the world.

the other read, of course, is "professional grief," someone whose job it is to keep people miserable, which i think could be another pick at people only taking art- gerard's art, specifically- as like. music to be miserable to. (unrelated but on the topic, it reminds me of the mitski quote where she talks about how people said to her 'omg can't wait to cry to your next record' and she was like 'i don't know if you'll cry to it', in the sense of like. certain artists being pigeonholed to misery when they're just creating earnest art that sometimes contains it.)

getting into the last chorus, we add the line "we are the last disease." i think that's a pretty simple read of like, hey, we as human beings are going to be what takes ourselves out if we're not careful and let ourselves fall into not caring. we also get a tweak to the earlier chorus:

And we got the eyes to see Another broken life that's full of All the awful things that are made

instead of "give me the sound", we get the lines "and we got the eyes to see." we (gerard?) are fully aware of the destruction in the wake of the things we're doing and creating. either we've seen it the whole time, or we're just now waking up to see it, and we now have to decide what to do about it: to continue to grief and lay in the misery, or change.

(i think this song could go hand in hand with the message of foundations of decay, if we really wanted. get up coward. do not be apathetic, you must fix your heart.)

anyway. stream professional griefers. <3

someone do a serious lyrical analysis on professional griefers