#I don't know how to love someone anymore
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#all I've ever wanted was for someone to love me like this and now it suddenly happened and i dont know what the hell to do with it#i could never even imagine someone being so good to me#someone who'd seem so right#and i dont know what to do with him#yeah i dont know how to accept love#I'm just not used to it#I've never really seen it#I don't know how to believe it's true#that it's not all just a very detailed well played lie#that it's not an illusion that's gonna pass#I thought I was ok now I'm certainly not#I don't know how to trust someone anymore#I don't know how to love someone anymore
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^ q ^
#digital art#fanart#artists on tumblr#art#butcher vanity#vane lily#jamiep#jamie paige#flavor foley#synthv#yi xi#synthesizer v#vocaloid#vsynths#i COOKED on this one#i'm so proud of this#I wouldn't shut up about it on discord#its just so rare that i have an idea for a drawing#and then i finish it and it ends up looking exactly how i wanted it to#I can't believe it#also#i hope the hanzi looks good#please someone let me know if there are any mistakes#I couldn't find the font that was used in the mv#so i tried copying it while also looking at the same characters in the default iphone font#i also meant to put some blood on her cleaver#but i forgor💀#and I don't feel like working on this anymore so#her cleaver is clean and ready to chop#i love to yap in my tags
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"Allies should be okay with hearing hard truths that we have been suffering through for years, because if a child has to experience it, they as an adult can take the time to understand it with their adult brain and their adult emotions, and if they cannot handle that, I shouldn't have to be okay with handling their feelings gently."
and
"Sometimes we go too hard on allies because they're the only person who benefits from the problem who will listen to us, and the anger that we have carried from being wronged for years should not be put solely put on the shoulders of people trying to help us, and they should not have to be okay with being mistreated with the same hatred that people have aimed at us."
Can and should coexist actually.
#cat chats#it's all about context#if someone you care about makes an insensitive joke about your experience#you should be able to tell them it's not okay and they should be able to be like 'sorry i'll do better'#but if all the butt of your jokes are about their experience being a majority#and they say 'hey this is starting to get heavy'#and your response is 'well you can just deal with it because i have to deal with people who are like you every day'#or 'well obviously i'm not talking about you because you're one of the good ones' when you openly condemn people like them#maybe take a step back friend#some jokes are better between people with your lived experiences especially when you're venting frustrations#i don't expect my allo friends to listen to all my aroace jokes about allo people because some of them only hit right with aroace people#especially the 'imagine having to have sex to feel human' or 'nobody knows how to be friends anymore they gotta make it weird' jokes#but they should absolutely acknowledge that american society is designed for people in a relationship with two incomes#and people aren't looking for an end all situationship where they're both friends chilling in an apartment together with no romance or sex#because god forbid we touch each other platonically in any way or people will think we're dating and in love#or how most of american society views that you can't just be friends with someone once you fall in love with them because it's not the same#or how once you're in a relationship everyone else in the world shouldn't matter more than your partner or you're 'emotionally cheating'#and most movie plots that are like 'i don't do romance' always end up with someone softening their heart and giving them a romantic subplot#or that people can't have sex and have it mean nothing it always has to be a romantic thing#like tell them how it is but don't make them your punching bag ya know?
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one of my favorite clark headcanons that i have (that is completely unsupported by canon) is that he's transgender by kryptonian standards. martha and jon kent raised him as a boy and as he grew up he never had any reason to doubt it at all, he was like yeah i'm a boy, makes sense. and then he gets to the fortress of solitude for the first time and it turns out how Gender works on krypton was just Different enough that clark doesn't really fit the kryptonian standards of whatever he was supposed to be. bonus points because this makes him feel like even more of an outsider as a kryptonian, even if he's the last one left.
#do i know what those kryptonian gender customs are? no and i kind of don't care to come up with them#just cuz that's not my favorite thing to do but someone else can if they like my idea#i just love the idea of 1) trans clark 2) clark discovering his heritage but also as he learns more about his heritage#realizing that because of how he was raised- and it was nobody's fault- even though it's the only explanation for why he's so different#from humans he still can't help but feel like he's not a real kryptonian either#brought to you by THIS STARTED AS A FUN HEADCANON FOR HIM TO BE TRANS IN A COOL ALIEN WAY#BUT TURNED OUT TO BE ACTUALLY PROJECTION OF SOME PERSONAL SHIT I HAVE ONLY CONSCIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT LIKE TWICE SO OOPS#bluebird.txt#superman#was watching superman 1978 and i don't have any real thoughts about it yet but i'm just rotating in my head#that jor-el said 'this is your home.' when describing krypton.#like. he's never been there. he can never go there. it doesn't exist anymore and he will be raised human.#he will be raised in a world that is so completely unlike his own and he will not grow up with as a kryptonian.#and yet jor-el says of krypton 'this is your home.'#like just give me a moment.#so interesting to me who considers who what. some guy in high school#told me i wasn't mexican because i din't recognize some candies my (cuban) teacher brought back when he visited mexico#he said i wasn't even latino#well first of all that guy was a first-class asshole seriously my kudos to him#for having such an impressive amount of hatred and unhappiness in his little soul#second of all. he didn't think i was latino. my own sister only calls me mexican when it's convenient for her#my parents are proud of their american children and in high school my mexican (as in grew up there) friend wa always proud#to call me a fellow mexican (or at least a chicana)#so i just find it so fascinating that in this movie jor-el says son you will never know your birthplace your parents's home firsthand#but it is your home.#my parents would never EVER call mexico my home i don't think they'd even call it THEIR home#i just. i'm thinking about it a lot.#high fives clark kent in child of immigrants and everything that means swag solidarity
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i have such bad buddie brain rot i try to appease the brain worms by allowing myself to listen to one of my many buck-eddie-or-buddie related playlists while i do work but it is not HELPING i literally just started crying because true blue just came on you're JOKING
#YOU'VE NEVER DONE ME WRONG#EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME#THAT WE DON'T TALK ABOUTTTTT#BECAUSE IT DOESNT MATTER.. ANYMORE!!#WHO WON THE FIGHT??? I DONT KNOW.. WE'RE NOT KEEPING SCORE#OHHHH IT FEELS GOOOOD TO BEEEE KNOWWWN SOOOO WELLLLLL#IIII CANT HIDE FROM YOU LIKE IIIII HIDE FROM MYSELF#I REMEMBER WHO I AM WHEN IM WITH YOU#YOUR LOVE IS TOUGH#YOUR LOVE IS TRIED AND TRUE BLUE#GODDDD PLEASE I AM FUCKING DYINGGG WAILING ON THE FLOOR PLEASE HOW AM I MEANT TO GO ONNNNN HELP ME#someone sedate me#actually#jd talks.#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc
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So, I was re-reading some of my fav haikyuu fanfics and one of them is ‘FROM ME TO YOU’ a Haikyuu, Miya Atsumu x reader fanfic by atsumou (i just found out now that's their previous name) AND I FINALLY FOUND IT AFTER A DAY OF LOOKING THROUGH MY REPOST 😭 BUT now I found out they deactivated?? what happened does anyone know 😭 I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH AND THEY'RE SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER!!!

#★. talks a lot¡#I'm going to die of curiosity someone pls tell me 🙏 i love this fics so much it's so scrumptious#u cant see the other parts on her acc anymore because its gonee 😭😭😭#i don't think y'all know how long it took me going through the accounts of people who reposted this#because I didn't have the other parts reposted and I want to read it again#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu fanfiction#miya atsumu#miya atsumu x reader#haikyuu smau
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isagi being #1 at adaptability and the way he handles everyone with their crazy and brattiness in and out of the field in canon just shows he's the #1 best bf for a high maintenance partner
#‧₊˚ 🌸 ‧₊˚ 𐙚 sora speaks#I DON'T MAKE THE RULES. LIKE HES SOOOOOO .#trust. u could not scare or push him away ever. in fact it makes him want u more AND want to take care of u more. like he's crazy#i feel like it's also lowkey canon he has ocd in taking care of everyone in general LMFAO#like he was yelling at bachira and chigiri (? or was it someone else i can't rmb) to use chopsticks KJHSSKJ and brings everyone water KJHFG#THAT ONE ADDITIONAL TIME W NAGI.BAROU.CHIGIRI WHERE HE ADVANCED AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE HIM IN THE ROOM ANYMORE-#- SO THEY NOTICED HOW MUCH HE HAD THEM ALL TOGETHER W THE WAY HE TOOK CARE OF EVERYONE 🥹#the laundry the organizing . also did he Not tuck nagi in like.#also him taking care of chigiri's leg at the match even tho chigiri was throwing a tantrum#LIKE HE STRESSES he needs everything good for everyone :'c hes so thoughtful#idk. much to consider#HE MAKES ME CRAZYYYY I KNOW SAY THIS A LOT BUT I NEED HIM HE WOULD FIX ME SO BAD#AND . he could fix u too . Trust Me#he's. so pushy when taking care of ppl trust that it would be heightened when he loves u so bad#like he's crazy abt u u can't do anything to change that c_c he's so pookie#annoying. BUT POOKIE >3>
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"Aw man, what are they gonna do with Shadow now that he got his closure with Maria's wish and everything? What sort of story can he possibly have after that?"
*points frantically at Sonic 06*
#one of the things that I really like about 06 when it comes to Shadow#is how they handle his story outside of his pre-established trauma#because believe it or not. life has other things going on#and Shadow's whole thing in that game was looking towards the future#he's no longer unsure of who he is. but now he has to stand his ground when someone else tries to cast doubt on him#the cool thing really is giving new meanings to his promise. his purpose.#he's still protecting humanity. he knows why and he's pretty secure of that. the question then becomes how and at what cost#the line ''if the world chooses to become my enemy I will fight like I always have''#is about being confident enough in himself and his friends even when odds are against them#because even if he has reason for revenge he doesn't want it anymore#I literally love 06 Shadow so much you don't understand what this bitch did to my brain#aaaanyways I'm forever grateful to Shadow Generations for finally properly teaching my boy to face his feelings#there is no shortage of possibilities when it comes to what they can do with him from now on#TEV Talk#Sonic the Hedgehog#Shadow the Hedgehog#Sonic x Shadow Generations
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#MR FUCKIN PLANES HIMSELF FROM GTI!!!! OUR BEST FRIEND#emolga#i dunno if anyone is gonna get that reference but this one time i saw like. a paradise crew askblog on here randomly and the post i happene#to see was someone asking emolga what thing he thought was coolest to hear about from the human world. and he said like#fuckin planes dude how do they work#and i thought that was the most emolga quote ever and i loved it. and it's been bouncing around in my head ever since even though#i don't even know who wrote it. i dunno the askblog or if it even exists anymore#but either way. this is still like the only pmd character with a canon blush sprite besides watchog i think from psmd#everyone knows he eventually rejects virizion for dunsparce. his very obvious crush on dunsparce throughout the whole game#i have so many thoughts about gti it really is the best pmd game. in some senses. gti and also eotds and also smd are all my favorite pmds#that's three out of four of them and no i am not cheating
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I've never wanted to follow orders so bad in my life
#COMMAND ME MAXIMUS PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU#he's so in charge and authoritative yet humble and kind#this man i swear#look how unbelievably attractive he is#look at that kind gentle face#those soft eyes as he looks at someone who is like a father to him AAUGGHHHH#and his neck!!!! i'm never over it!!!#WHY is he so crafted by the gods#specifically to my tastes#every time i see him in his armor all i can think is “i wish i were taking that off of him so we could make some sweet love in his tent”#i NEED to be the general's wife#y'all don't even know#the level to which i am obsessed with him#the sun rises and sets for him alone in my heart#i am withering away with need for him I JUST#I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE HE'S TOO FLAWLESS#I ADORE HIM IN EVERY WAY A MAN CAN BE ADORED#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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One of our dnd gangs has recently found something huge and important, and that something is.... love

#Cairn#Ramble vor my own fun sakes!#The Gang started off being supper suspicious of each other and everyone constantly keeping secrets#(Except little horned guy they're actually rather honest)#But the horrors keep happening and we got trapped in another dimension for three years which really fucked us#And my big big boy had a really really bad time with mind control. But the gang stuck with him!#And after all this and everything else they've finally started being close and loving#And VERY codependent. I don't know how well they'd function without each other anymore#So this is every time they've said I Love You to someone in order <3#The end#(The last one is our former teammates who thought we were dead for 3 years)
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hey has anyone ever considered doing shinjiro smut for after the fade to black but he lays you across his lap, like has anyone ever considered the canon praise kink with him more—shinjiro who scolds you, calls you trouble and tells you to stay close to him like a "good girl", shinjiro who acts tough, pretends to be fed up with you pushing him around (he loves it, but that doesn't mean you're not gonna hear about it), ignoring what he wants, so two can play that game, and you think, god, he's not holding back anymore, he's going to kiss me, finally, we're going to— but no, he settles on his bed and pats his lap and tells you that you need to "take responsibility" for teasing him like that, messing with his feelings — "be a good girl." remember, you started this.
#shinjiro aragaki#suggestive#i also like the idea of asking him to do something and he outright scoffs like fully has an attitude about it#tries to remind you what he said about ignoring his needs and asks you what makes you think he's gonna pay attention to yours#you think you get to ask him anything? that's cute#i love playing into that though like i know everyone is all in on the 'i ain't holding back anymore bit' but sorry#man says 'you think you can just push me around? ignore what i want? yeah. well. two can play that game' in that VOICE too? whew boy#like i think he should get to do that a little bit i think he should put me over his lap until i behave#fuck i think it should be more than that though like imagine him lifting you and just. like. tossing you onto the bed.#trying to sass him about the noise and he's like 'you think i give a shit about those guys when i got you right here?' like#i want him to take the wind out of me ya feel i want to talk shit get bit#hit a little too but like open handed#or maybe he tosses you on the bed and you're like 'oh shit oh shit' and then he sits at the foot of it and fucking#PULLS you onto his lap and rucks up your skirt just like that and there are a few moments - a hitched breath#'under negotiated kink' i don't CAREEE that's part of the fantasy like how hot would it be to just have someone tick those boxes untold#either way whether he gets wild or not (preferably yes but maybe needs time to warm up)#it's like. god. he should get to y'know. like (some of) my autonomy being taken from me without him ever overstepping is hot. hot. hot.#he should bend me over his lap and make me keep count while he very tenderly very lovingly mocks me#condescending about the great leader letting herself be treated like this and enjoying it literally makes you turn around#and finally finally touches you properly but he fucking laughs and you're red-faced and he goes 'isn't that embarrassing' and ramps up#so you can't even answer him#god should i try to write this#i think i'm too much of a perfectionist to do this sometimes because i'll stew and never get it done ugh#anyway.#filth#pure filth#thank you#i think we outdid that suggestive tag#smut#(for safety)
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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how are you going to break up with someone and then get angry when they ask you to explain why
#i could scream#like o understand you don't want to date me anymore#trust me i heard that part#i want to know why and when yiu stopped wanting that#why is that making you angry#also love getting therapyspeak from someone aversed to therapy#i don't think you actually know what a boundary is my guy#it's not a magic word where you say my boundry is that i don't want to date you and the other person is just like oh yeah cool#no questions here#that is not how that works#breakup szn
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Will never not be ironic to me that while many people want to romance the questionable videogame men* in our protagonists' heads, my relationships to them remain firmly
"Fuck off"
"Shut up"
And, last but not least,
"Get wrecked"
(when is it my turn to be happy suffering from angst)
#this post is for fun no actual hate to these characters okay??? don't piss on the poor#anyway my butches are tired. come back with a woman gamedevs#then I suspect I will gladly commit atrocities or sacrifice my life etc etc#datv spoilers#I am not tagging spoilers anymore but JUST IN CASE if this is still a spoiler for someone#the asterisk is there for the Emperor as per usual#altho as [redacted] I still count him as that#sigh you know one downside of how these games are doing sexuality is that it's impossible to put your foot down as a dyke.#Veilguard is okay 'cause nobody exactly flirts with you unless you show interest and Solas thankfully couldn't give less of a shit#about your love life#but Johnny and the Emperor...#guys you are in my fucking head you should KNOW me#Johnny why are you crudely accusing me of trying to jump River's dick#Emperor why are you-- okay you know what no that's fair he probably WOULD think that he got far enough into Tav's head#to be an exception or whatever#...see Johnny that's why you get the SHUT UP part.#edit: i think it's important to note that out of these three V and Johnny got along the best#not the highest relationship score no#but they're like annoying siblings in terms of dynamic by the end. sorta#unlike the other two where Tav and Rook had murder on their mind
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in normal stances I'm kicking my feet giggling when my gf calls me wife or smth but if I was dying of cancer and she'd ditched her actual wife after getting her into an accident and tried to rizz me up again after ditching ME decades ago to go straight and become a politician and then marry a different woman anyway and now we're at the hospital and she's wife zoning me to get access to me while I'm in medical crisis I'd get up out the wheelchair and suplex her.
#yellowjackets spoilers#i haven't seen the episode yet i just think it's wild#i love taissa but if i was van right now I'd be like so affronted constantly by this treatment#it would be romantic if a) tai didn't have an actual wife#b) van wasn't dying#c) tai hadn't left and ignored van for years#i mean obviously it's still romantic because the whole of this show is everything being fucked up and toxic#and doing what they have to to survive and hold each other#and tai used to call van her wife in the wilderness#so it's super romantic in that sense#but it's like the juxtaposition of it as a normal domestic thing is what makes it feel off#it's like i don't know if you get to do that anymore. i think you're past that#it's so normal and in other contexts cute that it just sets me off and i can't help but think how mad it would make me#like tai dragging van to the middle of nowhere to find her hallucination + trying to set up a murder to save van#it's so outlandish that I'd never think to criticize it in these terms#but the small and normal thing is the sticking point#i think that happens a lot in the adult timeline#they kill someone and it's like whatever#they do something petty and I'm shocked
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