#I don't really want to develop on that but Kit...

[chaotixxxdoorframe]

Actually, make Jentry Chau vs the Underworld a movie and Kpop Demon Hunters a serie and most of my issues with both of them will be resolved.

[face-breaker]

fighting the urge to mix a lil' honey badger into sett —

[chipped-chimera]

Agonising over when to get another Betta for this tank ... I know in my head I should do it sooner than later because the longer I leave it the less choice I have when it comes to the current stock my store has but ...

I'm still ripped up over Fish Karlach's death. I had her for such a short time and I still miss her, and I'm not sure my tank is in the clear. Another Corydora, a more mature one too, passed away but I noticed this one developing a problem around the same time the issue with the Betta started, and after a chat with my shop bought stronger medicine since what I was using probably wasn't cutting it - but I think in the end that was just too much for her. She was on the way out and I probably could have saved her if I went for help sooner but couldn't really do much while waiting to be clear of COVID (absolutely shit timing btw).

I was looking at the females at the shop on that day and just ... I didn't want them. I wanted her back. I know it's just my extremely bad luck, I did just about everything right with the knowledge I had available at the time and literally dealing with COVID, but it just hurts when like, I know there are betta fish out there living in unheated, unfiltered shitty, tiny tanks with plastic plants still live whereas mine, in a carefully managed heavily planted tank had to die. It's not fair.

What also sucks is with this shipment at the store, all the females are just marbles- maybe even from the same spawn and I'm straight up allergic to that gene because I know of its high risk for tumors. I generally don't want a marble. At all. But unfortunately all the other non-marble, specific-type fish are all Males, which I think would be more likely to have a behavioural issue in a community tank considering all the females are still stocked together so they're used to other fish already. I don't really have much in the way of other options unless I take a near 2hr drive way north of my city but even then fish stocking in Western Australia just plain sucks.

Maybe I'll wait a week. Idk. But pretty sure the methalyne blue that went in the tank will have killed off any remaining bacteria (what was theorised to be the cause) kicking around in there. I definitely know there are no parasites, since that treatment ran for like 2 weeks. Not really wanting to do a full course of methalyne blue though since I could tell some of my plants weren't liking it, and the one fish I was treating for died quickly anyway. Still a decent amount in there, just less. Probably need two more water changes to clear it.

I need to move on but goddamn I don't think I could deal with another sick fish.

[cursedcola]

Prompt: Couples will evidently begin to mimic their better half after some time. What traits do you steal from him, and vice versa? Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Characters: Everyone - because I want to and I’m amidst fleshing out all my Yuu/Character dynamics + designs Format: Headcannons. Masterlist: LinkedUP Parts: Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia (Here) | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia A/N: I'm part of the 'everyone underestimates Kalim Al Asim , the layers of his character and upbringing' club. Sweet does not equal being a dum dum my dudes.

Habits You Steal:

Theatrics (Inherited): Kalim talks with more than his mouth. There's body language. Watch out when this guy gets excited because he might knock over a lamp amidst a rant. Hands are flying with each embellishment. He's pacing. Jumping. Energy is seemingly endless with this one. When Kalim laughs, he does so with his entire body without reservation. Head flying back, grin wide, shoulder shaking, etc. Not that he can't replace what gets broken but - y'know. Be careful else you might get bitch slapped on accident. Which normally wouldn't hurt too much but Kalim's decked out in gold. The last thing you want is a ring imprint on your left cheek because Kalim got too excited after a card game. On that note - someone get Jamil some aspirin because that excitement is infectious. You can be the most stone-hearted edge-lord on the face of Twisted Wonderland, but eventually his infectious sunshine attitude takes hold.

"A-Ah! It's okay! We can replace the lamp, so don't worry. Are you hurt? No, no. It's really aright. I'm fine, see? You missed me - can I see your hands for a second? OIII! Can someone please bring a med-kit! Thank you!" <- Jamil's already grabbing the broom before you can say sorry. This is the last time he lets you sit anywhere near fragile objects during a game of charades - or any game. Kalim was bad enough...but at least with him fretting over the tiny cut on your palm, Jamil could clean the mess in peace. At least until you offer to pay for the lamp. Kalim's got enough tact to lie about the price, and everyone's thankful. No one wants to see the Ramshackle Prefect have a heart attack for shattering a real crystal lamp. 'cause then Kalim will cry too and it'll just be dominos from there.

Personal Space (Inherited): Kalim tears away any sense of dignity, self-preservation, and privacy that might exist. In a good way, of course. It's not that Kalim is an open person. Quite the contrary. He needs to keep a calculated distance between himself and others due to his position as an Asim. Regardless of his happy exterior, never forget that Kalim is far from an airhead. Kindness doesn't equate connection - as much as Kalim would love for everyone to be his friend. Yet for those who are in that trusted circle? He treats them like an extension of the self. His lack of shame bleeds into your own perception.

Training and Resistance (Inherited and Developed): Kalim hates that you need to do this. He rarely 'hates' anything, but he despises that you need to worry about being poisoned. What’s worse is that you refuse to have a tester, or a guard, or anything of the sort. It all started with discussing the future with Jamil, who logically brought up the complications that come with Kalim taking a partner. You couldn’t be shadowed, were in a difficult position with the headmaster, and it would only become difficult once the duo moves back to the scalding sands. Even more once you join them (as NRC is merely teaming with prideful youths, while the Scalding Sands is a free for all).

Point summary? You need to build resistance to drugs and learn what to do in a hostage situation. The former is handled by Professor Crewel, and the process was explained in excruciating detail. Jamil, who’s undergone training, was unphased but Kalim desperately wanted you to back out. Yet it would mean needing a guard - which would be hard to arrange - and so…yeah. Many weekends in the nurse’s office. You also have to complete the hostage drills all Asims and their spouses are put through. How to escape bondage, how to last an interrogation, how to navigate without magic (which you could, duh, so basically without a map when stranded), negotiate, etc.

"Are you absolutely certain that this is what you want to do? I can still hire a body guard - there are many options available back home! You can spend our next vacation at the main villa and meet with them. We can - oh. y-you're sure?... alright. If this is what you want then I'll be there through every step. Just remember to ask if you need anything. I'll come running, no matter what."

Charisma (Inherited): Everyone underestimates just how dangerous Kalim is. Seriously. Nothing is more risky in a school like Night Raven College than dropping your guard. It can cost you your life - or at the very least leave you indebted to someone you do not want having dirt over your head (*cough*ACertianCephalopod*cough*)The gossip grapevine is a menace. Everyone has their pride. Everyone has their secrets. Everyone holds each other at arm’s length, even if you’re cordial or friendly. Everyone except Kalim, who has this innate ability to pry the most dirty secrets out of you simply through his nonchalant attitude. Nothing drops another’s guard quicker than a sense of security and superiority. People often mistake his genuine heart for nativity. They fail to recognize that it’s a choice, and deep down he is aware that the Al Asim name places him high above the people he sees as friends.

"Hm? Isn't that the alchemic lab on potionomics meant for second years? You're so smart! I didn't get to do that lab until just a few months ago! - it's not yours? Then why are you working on it?" <- game. set. match. You think he doesn't know what your handwriting looks like? He saw you lingering outside Crewel's classroom earlier and wanted to know why. Saw an opening. Took it. Is happy you’re helping out one of your other friends, but just had to make sure no one was bullying you into doing their work.

Since he truly believes that despite this gap, friendships can transcend - his ability to get information is uncanny. A power he can wield intentionally if need be, in getting you to name drop any person or problem posed. It’s a great quality to have! This way he can help and support you :) Why is this an inherited trait, you might be asking? Because as the next head of Al Asim, Kalim’s been studying how to do business since he was young. He’s going to teach you. Pray tell what is born once the Ramshackle Beast Tamer learns the ways of Scarabia’s master of charisma and resident sunshine child?…Night Raven’s downfall. Power couple. Dead serious right now.

Jewelry (Developed): Worth your weight in gold takes a new meaning. This isn’t in reference to being spoiled, mind you. This is about status and the meaning behind the jewels Kalim is imparting. The cultural significance. Considering that you’re not from twisted wonderland, you technically are a blank slate to all countries. Who better to learn from than someone who’s spent his childhood studying to become an expert in international trade? Kalim has enough tact to bite his tongue about the deep meaning behind the gifts. You may not understand just yet, but his excitement can’t be contained. Each bangle and piece from the family treasury has a small story. While he has no problem using his wealth to help people who need it, there’s a joy that comes from decorating his treasure’ in treasure. Y’know?

"Do you like it? This necklace was my mother's at our age. My father gifted it to her during a business trip to the Queendom of Roses. Ah - you can have it! Really! She has many others, and when I told her about you this was what she chose to have sent over. It's already yours! You can wear it to the next banquet, please?" <- Being the next head of House Asim, Kalim can't be with just anyone. Yet he seemed so happy in his letters, and Jamil vouched on your behalf - so this is your time to shine. Also, sending the necklace back would be like slighting his family's good will. You quite literally need to accept it.

Music (Inherited): Can you play an instrument? Sing? It starts out as wanting to be near him more - so you join the pop music club. Kalim, Cater, and Lilia are very convincing. So they push you to pick up something. Anything. It doesn't matter what, so long as you have fun with them. Even in the earliest stages where the notes come grated and your friends (Grim) make fun - Kalim is supportive without fault. His encouragement leads to proficiency and an appreciation for music. He'd love if you sing with him. Even if it's just a lullaby - no, especially so.

Habits He Steals:

Naming inanimate objects (Inherited): Your effort at making Kalim more money-conscious. The decite of sentimental attachment, if you will. It’s honestly a risky move to make considering the sheer amount of things that he owns, so naming everything is off the table. Yet it’s the silly things. Like seeing a face in the paintwork on one of his tapestries, and then deciding to dub it Artie. Oh no, Kalim we don’t need to get new artwork for the bathroom! What about Artie? It’s already pretty enough so lets just leave him there. No - no, that ring’s super pretty but the matching set from our anniversary is enough. We wouldn’t want Garnet and Pearl to think we were replacing them, right?

"I think Vinnie would work best on display, don't you? Purple and yellow are sure to catch people's attention from far away! Or maybe should we hang up Paolo? There are so many tapestries in Scarabia’s vault, I feel guilty only putting one up on display at our festival stall. Do you think they’d let us hang more?”<- It works. Kalim defiantly thinks twice. He's a bit like a kid refusing to give up their action figures after watching Toy Story, ya feel me?

Cooking (Inherited): Kalim is learning how to cook for himself as one step to being more self-sufficient. He only eats food that Jamil prepares, but with Viper’s seal of approval you’ve earned a pass. Essentially anything you both make with pre-approved ingredients is fair game. You pick a recipe every week, give Jamil the grocery list, and he makes sure to have the stuff in the dorm. Jamil is only okay with this so long as you supervise. Teaching Kalim is on your shoulders - and in all honesty? It’s an amazing bonding experience. Jamil can rest easy for a few hours and Kalim isn’t being thrown straight into the deep end. Obviously it’s only a small reprieve, and temporary since back at the Scalding Sands there are regulations in place. Kalim loves wearing matching aprons, humming little tunes while reading recipe books, watching cooking videos, learning about all the nutritional benefits in food, and really gets an appreciation after seeing how much work goes into his favorite dishes. There’s also that spark of joy when you sit down to eat, and it’s somehow one-hundred times better than eating with his family back home. Not that Kailm doesn’t love his siblings, but family really takes a new meaning when you see it coming together right before your eyes.

"Mph th-ish is sho gud! - how do you like it? Should we invite our friends to try some? It tastes almost like Jamil's! I bet if we keep at it, then we can cook up a banquet all on our own. That'll surely put everyone in a good mood!"

Skinship (Developed): Kalim is the type to initiate touch. Not receive it. If you look at his interactions with the others, he’s always the one throwing himself at them or being a vibrant glow-stick. Very few people give that back - and in truth? Like, honest to Seven truth? Kalim’s got no problem with it. Many people have bad intentions. Not everyone wants to be his friend, and that’s fine. They come to him looking to get in his good graces. It’s unnecessary…he’ll happily help without them twisting his feelings. All they need to do is ask. Do you know how easy it is for someone to prick him with a drugged needle? He’s not comfortable with physical contact that he does not initiate, unless it’s from someone he trusts. Like Jamil, Silver, Cater, his siblings, etc. Even they have a limit (which he’s confident will never be crossed, since again, Kalim is almost always the initiator). This list is subject to change…what, you think a family of 30+ kids can exist without animosity? He dreads the day he has to think of one of his little siblings becoming untrustworthy.

Anyways. Trust is a choice for Kalim. His happiness and extroverted optimism is all a choice. Sometimes on an unconscious level (*cough* his awareness of the divide between himself and Jamil, yet pushing the knowledge down until it inevitably hurt them both *cough*). So imagine reaching the point where he trusts you. It could be something small, like the first time you hug him from behind or lace your fingers together. Intimate. Not like Cater’s half sling over the shoulder, not like his little siblings hanging on his legs, or Jamil pushing him ahead while they walk. When he’s not initiating, and Kalim might hesitate for a moment. Hard to picture, I know, but by letting it be he’s choosing to trust you wholeheartedly. All in the span of like 5 seconds, and he might not even realize it until later on. Those of us who shine the brightest, usually have walls that are hard to see. Just some food for thought.

"Really? Really, really?? Really, really really??? Really - Ah! Sorry, I just can't believe it! There's so much I still don't know about them...but they're paying attention to me, huh? That's it! I need to work harder to be a worthy boyfriend! Starting right now, I'll become a better man!" <- Kalim. Sweetie. No. You're already the brightest boy. Your dormmates only brought the prefect's changes up to make you happy! I mean - mission successful? The goal was to motivate him and they technically succeeded. Just not for studying. He's 100% fired up with enough energy to run laps around the dorm now. He doesn't know what to do first, should he get Cater to help make you a playlist? Or have some flowers sent over? Would you prefer red roses or a mix of violets with chrysanthemums. Wait. Grim's 'technically' a cat, right? He should make sure not to send anything harmful to kitties. Maybe some tuna for him with chocolates for you? But this gift should be something you can keep. Ohhhh he is vibrating from excitement. He needs to show how much he loves you. Your attention and care truly means the world to him.

Habits You Steal:

Bug Spray (Developed): Jamil can and will throw you under the bus when faced with insects. Big hit to his pride, not his best moments, but he is NOT dealing with the absolute infestation at Ramshackle. You are spraying that place with heavy duty RAID if you want him over longer than ten seconds. If he so much as catches a GLIMPSE of a roach - nah. Just nah. He will shove that dustpan in your hands and send you to war. Don’t call him until it’s dead, the carcass has been disposed of, and you’ve wiped down. Grim’s a cat. Teach his ass to hunt. He needs to pay rent. You think he’s letting the flame-ball follow to the Scalding Sands after NRC? Jamil wants him on hinting duty for scarabs or else it’s time to prep hobo box.

“Burn it….Did you not hear me? I said. Burn. It. Better yet? Burn this whole damn building!” <-First night he decides to let Kalim handle Scarabia and humor you with a sleepover - and a giant spider decided to invade the shower. We’re talking big spider, maybe pregnant. Please keep in mind that during the VDC prep, Vil had Ramshackle deep cleaned. So the worst Jamil saw was a few ants. Now, the science club does meet in the Ramshackle garden often since you’ve cleaned it up, and Trey may grow plants that make the place insect central. Jamil was unaware of this. The gut wrenching scream that echoed through every room in the house. You’d think one of the ghosts pulled a cruel prank - but no. You didn’t even get a moment to investigate. The bathroom door flew open, Jamil running out still wet and drenching his pajamas. The death glare and spew of curses was the most genuine you’d ever seen him. Well, it could have been appreciated if not directed at you. Fix it or he will never set foot in this place ever again.

Spice Tolerance (Inherited): Not much to say here. He likes his food spicy. Sure, Jamil isn’t great with his words so his main love-language is bringing over tubbaware filled with food, and he does cater to your preferences more often than not. Except you undoubtedly will be eating what himself and Kalim eat most days. Which is packed with flavor. Grim isn’t complaining, food’s food. You? It’s funny to take a chomp out of ghost pepper like it’s a roma tomato, only for Ace to try and then start wheezing. Work them tastebuds, ya scrawny magic man. Heh.

"Can't handle the heat? Curry's a versatile dish. I could make something mild next time...you still want it? Why? Just because it's my favorite, doesn't mean you have to like it. Still not going to give it back? Alright. Lets see you clean that plate then." <- Flattered that you want to experience his favorite foods prepared to his tastes. For the record - Jamil likes it spicy spicy. Hotter than fiery vindaloo. Its an acquired taste and he really can alter the recipe if its too much. Won't unless you ask, because it's funny and oddly romantic seeing you sweat just trying to make him happy (Will hit the breaks in if you are getting sick from it. Does not play around).

Braids (Inherited): Paired with Jamil’s developed trait. Braids or hair beads - take your pick. Maybe both? Or a headscarf. His little sister - Najima, do you remember her? She’s the first Viper you get to spend time with during a trip to the Scalding Sands and gifts you either some hair beads or a headscarf as her unspoken blessing. Nothing fancy, and Jamil forced the coin in her hand for it, but she did take you through the markets while he was busy tending to other needs. It’s honestly really sweet, and Jamil will braid the beads or scarf in one of your side pieces of hair every morning (or wrap the scarf around your head. Not fancy like Kalim’s but still a knot he ‘insists’ will look better if he does it since you’re inexperienced. He could teach you. He won’t.)

Silence (Inherited): Shit just does not phase you anymore. Ever heard of the inability to keep calm until there's someone more panicked nearby? Jamil embodies this, being surrounded by emotive people all the time, and his perpetual state of indifference physically does not allow you to feel unsettled. If Jamil isn't bothered, then neither are you. It's that simple. Resting bitch face is contagious. Jamil's ability to handle Kalim comes in handy for raising Grim. You can now ignore his baby face and daily begging for premium tuna. Little kitty needs to expand his arsenal of tricks, because your will is stone.

"Bad day? Grab a cup. The dorm's usually quiet for the next hour. I'll be there in a moment." <- Queen never cry. If anything actually does phase either one of you, it normally ends the same way. Plopped on the floor of his bedroom, sipping hot tea and staring at the wall in comfortable silence while stewing in mutual suffering. Eventually you give him one of those starry sky projectors, and y'all ill stare at that instead. If it's a problem that has a tangible solution then it gets solved. Easy. This is for the 'yeah, life sucks' moments where all you can do is let it be before getting back up again. At least you have each other.

Habits He Steals:

Braids (Developed): Jamil can easily do his own hair. A flick of the wrist and it magically braids itself. Ebony locks carry memories of pain, growth - and change. Small change. Yet change nonetheless, which seemed impossible years ago. There’s something very intimate that comes with fixing another person’s hair. You’re not proficient enough to handle his cornrows (or are you? To his standard? As fast as magic?) but Jamil’s fine with changing his hair style to a simple triple braid, or a braid-band using the framing pieces that can crown around his head. So long as you do it for him every morning.

Fix-It-Felix (Developed): You know that one type of dad? The one who visits your home and looks for imperfections. He comes over, puts fresh produce in the fridge, mends the nail holes in the wall and fixes that one loose board on the steps that you made a habit to avoid. Barely says two words during his visit but seemingly solves half the problems you were procrastinating? This is Jamil. 100% Jamil when he comes to Ramshackle. He needs to make himself useful. And to scold someone. Grim more often than not, but you’re not safe. He really goes ‘bitch you live like this?’ at least once a week. Then proceeds to take preventative measures like a textbook tsundere.

“I put tangerines in the fridge since winter is coming. You need to be getting enough vitamin c and - where’s Grim? Don’t let him eat them all and make sure he knows not to light the fireplace tonight. There’s some cleaner on the bricks that needs to sit for a few hours…you know what? I’ll go with you to get him. Grab your heavy coat, it looks ready to rain.”

Dancing (Developed): Jamil participates in solo-dance during his downtime. It’s not like he had a partner to do duos with. Jamil also was not interesting in cozying up to a stranger just to learn a dance he would rarely have a moment to indulge in. Kalim’s the one who mentioned this in passing to you. His intentions were pure, of course. Just as they always are. He signed you both up for a ballroom dance class as a present for officially becoming a couple! Jamil finally had a partner and time to try, so why wait?! The vice in question wanted to deny since (1) who has time for that, (2) it was off campus, would take three hours out of every weekend for a month and (3) The chance of embarrassing himself was higher than he would like. Yet Kalim is smarter than most think, and purposefully handed the gift to you. Not Jamil. Along with the excited embellishment that Jamil could now do this ‘long desired’ class that really wasn’t high on his radar.

"If it makes you happy...then I don't mind. Just try to avoid stepping on my toes. Otherwise I'll demand compensation. What do I want? Wouldn't you like to know, prefect." <- Five seconds in and he yields. You weren't going to let him out of it - no matter what excuse Jamil came up with. He'll put up with it and get back at Kalim later. The chance to spend time with you for that long is rare, and Jamil isn't the type to squander opportunities. No matter his personal feelings on the 'gift' in question.

Except Jamil finds the entire experience pleasant and hates that it’s all thanks to Kalim. Dancing with you is entirely different than dancing alone. It’s clumsy, new, and honestly tiring since he needs to lead. Especially in anything fast pace like a quickstep or to swing. It’s also three hours out of the week that Jamil isn’t maintaining his composure. Just you, him, and the instructor since Kalim splurged on private lessons. It’s liberating and Jamil wants to keep with it far beyond after the class ends. Even if it’s just slow-dancing in the common room to one of those vintage records stowed at Ramshackle. Seven, let him have this.

‘We’ instead of ‘Me’ (Inherited AND Developed): Automatically assumes that any invites are for you too. Jamil is used to thinking this way. Except the ‘we’ applied to Kalim, with Jamil as a plus one. Jamil did not want to be part of that ‘we’. Hence why he would only refer to Kalim when laying plans out. ‘Kalim has dance lessons at six, then dinner at seven, then study until 10 and then bed. Tomorrow, Kalim’s going to a banquet head by the treasure’s family and then returning to campus.’ The unspoken truth being that Jamil’s schedule matched. He followed, but was never on board with being Kalim’s ‘we’. He has always been a ‘me’ and made an active effort to preserve all his ‘me’ moments. For someone so self-aware…Jamil isn’t sure when he began to view you as his ‘we’. Only that when you auto-included him in everything…it was less strenuous than with Kalim. Far less. Easy to adapt. In the past, Jamil believed a partnership to be another chain. Perhaps being a ‘we’ was never supposed to hurt.

“Thanks for the invitation, but we’re staying in tonight…. No, not Kalim. The Prefect. What? I’m not speaking for them. If my word’s not good enough, just go ask the prefect yourself.” <- Other people might look at him and think he’s treating you like Kalim. Oh, how wrong they are.

Texting (Inherited): Jamil’s not used to someone keeping tabs on him. You’re going to see him within the hour, why does he need to call before going to wake up Kalim? Why do you need a text that he’s back in his dorm before you’re able to sleep? Why do you show up in Scarabia at one in the morning, throwing rocks at his window, if he forgets? (Jamil never forgets. He just had to reign in some rowdy first years and couldn’t catch a break. It was on his mind. Really.) It’s not the worst demand. A five minute call while he’s prepping breakfast and a few messages to know he’s going to rest are a small price to pay. Turns out a little rundown of his day before bed makes sleeping a ‘little’ bit easier. Huh.

“I don’t see it.” <- A lie spoken with the most monotone tone possible. Jamil rolls his eyes over the rim of his mug, taking a sip before turning the page in his book. Najima scoffs before returning to her magazine. She can say he’s softened up all she wants. He won’t admit to it. Doesn’t mean she’s wrong in the slightest. Jamil’s well aware that hopes and wants denied to him from birth have begun to stir within him. No matter how small the changes may be, Jamil isn’t foolish enough to give those emotions his attention. Not if he wants to keep them. Good things always escape his grasp…his wounds are too fresh to get comfortable just yet.

[motorsportbarbie13]

A Package Deal - Part 5

In which big things happen at Silverstone

Warnings: nothing but fluff, as per usual Pairing: Lando Norris x SingleMom!Reader Word Count: 2.8k words

A Package Deal - A Package Deal - Part 2 - A Package Deal - Part 3 - A Package Deal - Part 4 Master List Don't miss my new project: Track Limits, the fully original sports romance set in the cut-throat world of Formula 1 (first part will be posted tomorrow, January 6th)

yourusername (private) posted

102 likes liked by landonorris, BFFSarah, stellasgrandpa, and others yourusername home race, best race BFFSarah cuties stellasgrandpa so much fun today with you. that man of yours is a keeper. >>>yourusername ❤️ love you dad >>>landonorris thanks for keeping my girls company today, sir! glad you had fun, would love to have you & stella at more races this year >>>BFFSarah 'my girls' i die

"Momma, it's hot." Stella whines, tugging on your hand as you walk towards the McLaren hospitality suite Sunday morning.

"Baby, I know. Hospitality has aircon though, so let's get inside. Lando's there too and he wants to see you before he gets into the car."

Behind you, your dad and step mom follow along. It's the British Grand Prix weekend and instead of working this race, you're here as Lando's personal guest, along with your family. It's surreal, attending the race but not working. You felt insanely out of place in hospitality in your jeans and black tank top instead of your papaya and black team kit.

Stella scampers off ahead of you, heading straight to the giant orange building that sits behind the garages at Silverstone. She's been with you all weekend, having wanted to watch Lando during all three practice sessions and qualifying. It was her first time in the paddock this weekend and as you watched her take to the atmosphere like a fish you water, you were worried you'd never be able to get her away from here. There was something magical in it though, watching your baby come alive and fall in love with something for the first time in their life.

The glass sliding doors woosh open for you and Stella and you're rewarded with a wash of cool air instantly giving you relief from the hot British summer outside. The main room of the suite is a hub of activity. Several meetings going on all at once, employees coming and going, meals being served for guests. It was all a bit overwhelming but you'd been to a few races already this season and it was beginning to feel routine for you.

You check your phone and see that Lando returned your text, informing you he was just in his drivers room up on the second floor.

"Stella, Lando is up on the second floor in his room. Knock before you go in." You tell your daughter, knowing she's going to want to run to see your boyfriend as soon as she can. You watch as she runs away before turning back to your dad and step mom. "She's been hanging out there all weekend. She says it's her favorite place in the world."

Your dad looks a little surprised, "I don't think I've ever seen Stella that comfortable in a crowd or without one of us." He marvels.

You smile, having noticed the same thing. You follow after Stella as you respond to your dad. "She's been this little social butterfly all weekend, it's like this place is magic for her. She's barely left Lando's side."

Lando and Stella had developed such a special relationship over the last seven months and even though it was normal to you now, sometimes you still had to stop and wonder if this was really real. He picked her up from school on such a regular basis that Ms. Rose in the front office had stopped asking him for ID and stopped calling you to make sure he had permission to take Stella. There had been several times that Stella had made an appearance on one of Max F's streams while Lando raced online with him. Since Lando rarely streamed with video on, you had allowed Stella to 'help' Lando drive when her permitted it, which was whenever Stella asked. Because your little girl had your boyfriend wrapped around her little finger. For a little girl that had always been shy around men other than her own grandpa, Stella blossomed when Lando and her grew closer.

By the time you reach the top of the stairs, you can see that the door to Lando's room is thrown wide open and you just hope Stella had remembered to knock before barging in. You can hear her chatter float out of the door and when you round the corner, Stella is sat next to Lando on the leather couch that sits underneath the window.

“And then Momma made you walk fifteen miles in a heat wave just to see me?” Lando exclaims, barely covering up a laugh at Stella’s dramatics.

“Stella Rose!” You laugh, stopping in your tracks and propping your hands on your hips. “We walked across the track through the air conditioned tunnel from the hotel!”

“Gee, I wonder where she gets her dramatic streak from.” Mutters your dad from behind.

You spin, sound of indignation flying from your lips while everyone else dissolves into laughter.

“Ok, Lan and Stella already gang up on me enough, I can’t have you two choosing their side too!” You say though your own laughter.

Stella continues to chatter away as the four adults in the room listen raptly. This goes on for a while before a soft knock at the door interrupts a story Stella is telling about taking Rosco for a walk yesterday after quali. Everyone turns and you're very surprised to see Andrea standing in the doorway.

"I thought I'd find you here." The Team Principle says, smile playing on his lips. Since you'd been traveling a bit with the team and deployed your tire monitoring program full time a few races ago, Andrea and you had gotten a bit closer. You liked the man, with his gently demeanor and soft spot for your boyfriend.

"Hi Andrea!" Stella chirps from where she sits on Lando's lap. The two had met Friday morning and Stella had taken an immediate liking to the man.

"Hi Ms. Stella, how are you this morning?"

"Good, thank you!" Stella smiles and then goes back to chattering at Lando.

Seemingly dismissed by your daughter, Andrea chuckles and turns back to you. "I know you're not working today but can I steal you for a moment? It won't take long, I just want to chat about something."

Something twists in your stomach, anxiety rising to the surface. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Lando's ears perk up as he continues to listen to Stella talk. He keeps one eye on your daughter but his attention is clearly on you. "Oh, of course. Everything okay?" You can't possibly think of anything you'd left unfinished before leaving for the weekend on Thursday but you could have missed something.,

"Yes yes! Nothing to worry about. Just want to talk to you about something."

Your dad shoos you towards the door, telling you they'll watch Stella while you're busy. Nodding, you turn and follow Andrea out of Lando's room down the hall to where his office is. Anxiety settles in the pit of your stomach despite being assured that nothing is wrong.

Once in his office, Andrea shuts the door behind you and motions for you to sit down. The office is small, just enough room for a small desk and a few chairs. Andrea doesn't spend much time in here on race weekends but it's nice for him to have a quiet place to get away during these hectic days.

"Thank you for taking a few moments. Like I said, I know you're here as Lando's guest and not working but I wanted to get your thoughts on something Zak and I have been discussing for quite some time."

You nod, feeling a little better. It wasn't totally out of the ordinary that Andrea or one of the race engineers needs you randomly on a weekend, despite the program basically running itself now. "Of course, how can I help?"

Andrea tents his fingers in front of his face, resting his elbows on the desk in front of him. "Zak and I have been really impressed by you this season, that program you wrote has been essential in all of our finishes and wins so far."

You flush under the praise. "Thank you."

Andrea nods, "I don't know if you're aware but there's an opening on the strategy team." Your heart stops in your chest. You had heard rumors of one of the race strategists leaving the team to go over to Aston Martin a few weeks ago, but it had never been confirmed by the team anywhere publicly. "Zak and I have been taking our time looking for the replacement and we wanted to see if you'd be interested in the position. You have the data gathering and analysis skills down and that program you developed shows you know how to interpret the data in a way that is helpful to the team. We think you'd be an amazing asset to the strategy team."

For a few moments, you're totally speechless. You only have an undergraduate degree in computer science and data analytics, generally the strategists have degrees in engineering or aerodynamics, neither of which you have. "I...I'm flattered that you think so highly of me, Andrea."

"Then say you'll take the job." He says, grin spreading across his face. "There will be some more travel than your doing right now, but both Zak and I are willing to work with you on the schedule and make sure Stella is taken care of." He adds and you wonder if he was reading your mind in the moment because that was going to be your first question.

"Can I think about it? Run it by my dad and Stella's nanny?" You desperatly want to say yes, a spot on the strategy team something you'd wanted for a long time but had never thought you'd be able to manage.

"Of course! I don't expect an answer right away. Will you be in the office on Tuesday?"

"Yes, I was planning on it."

"Perfect. I'll have Zak's assistant put some time on your calendar for the three of us to sit down and discuss. Sound good?"

You nod, slightly overwhlemed at the decision you now have to make. Andrea has to get to the garage then so you wish him good today and slowly make your way back over to Lando's room.

The room is quiet when you wander in, eyes a bit glazed over from shock as the offer that Andrea just made you begins to sink in.

"Everything okay?" Lando's tone is laced with concern, drawing you out of your own world. He rises before taking your hands in his own. "Baby, you're shaking. What happened?"

"They want me to join the strategy team." You whisper weakly, eyes darting from the floor up to meet Lando's pretty greenish blue ones that you love so much.

"What? Babe! That's huge! I'm so proud of you!"

"I haven't said yes yet."

Lando leads you over to the couch and for the first time since you walked into his room you notice the quiet. "Where's Stella?" You ask as you sit down next to Lando who draws you close into his side.

"Your dad and stepmom took her to get some lunch and ice cream downstairs. Now, why haven't you accepted the offer yet, love? You talk all the time about how you wanted to make the move to doing more strategy and less analysis."

"It's a lot of travel, probably half the races instead of what I've been doing. I can't leave Stella that often."

Lando shakes his head, "You can't let that stop you, this is such an amazing opportunity." Lando knew that if he didn't help talk you into this, you'd pass up a once in a lifetime opportunity. "She adores Tilly and her and your dad have been doing so well too." Tilly was the nanny you had hired back in May after Miami and the two got along so well while you were traveling, sometimes you wondered if Stella loved her more than she loved you.

"Stella is getting older, she understands that you need to travel for work now." Lando continues, tangling your fingers up with his and giving them a squeeze. "She'll be fine, and she'll get to see her mom going out and working hard and living her dreams. When you're not working races and Stella isn't in school, you guys can travel with me. We can make this work, my love, I promise. You don't have to juggle this all alone anymore."

Tears sting at the back of your eyes at your boyfriend's encouragement. As you had walked back from Andrea's office you had been fully prepared to turn down the promotion, not feeling like you could manage the increase in travel and responsibilities but with Lando's encouragement, you were second guessing your decision already. "You think we could handle it?"

"Baby, there's not doubt in my mind that the three of us can handle whatever this crazy job throws at us." Lando pulls you further into his side, arm slipping around your shoulder as he leans in. He dusts a quick kiss on your lips before pressing another one to your temple. "We're a package deal now, remember? It'll all work out."

You draw in a deep breath before nodding, "Okay. Let's do it then."

"That's my girl." He praises, kissing you again as you sink further into his warmth.

"Momma! Lando won! Lando won the race!" Stella shouts over the pandemonium of the garage. Tears stream down your face as you watch your boyfriend pull into parc ferme after winning his home race, Oscar just behind him in P2. It had been a stressful race, the teammates had traded the lead a few times but in the end, Lando had the superior race pace and had pulled away from Oscar during the last quarter of the race.

It was the first time McLaren had won their home race in ages and everyone in the garage was emotional. The team spills out of the garage, racing over to the barriers to greet the two McLaren drivers. You slowly follow behind, Stella's hand firmly grasped in yours as you lead her over to watch Lando get out of the car.

The moment he's out and his helmet is off, Lando is looking for you. It wasn't his first win of the season but it was the first with you and Stella there to see him win. His entire family was here since it was his home race and the satisfaction and pride that swelled in his chest was almost too much to handle. He spots you at the back of the crowd and he knows you're back there because you don't want to wade deep into the crowd with Stella.

Not wanting to wait until after the race to see you, Lando rounds the barriers making a beeline straight for you. Behind him, a pair of camera's follow up and you're acutely aware of the fact you're about to be on live TV.

"There's my girls!" Lando shouts before scooping up Stella in his arms. "The prettiest good luck charms on the grid." He murmurs in your ear as he cuddles Stella on his other side. "I'm so fucking lucky."

You laugh into his neck, suddenly shy at the fact that your face is being shown on the huge video screens all over the track. Lando draws back before kissing you full on the mouth, much to Stella's dismay.

"Gross!" Stella squeals as she wiggles out of his arms, allowing Lando to fully take you in his arms now, giving you the biggest bear hug he can.

"I'm so proud of you." You sob, so happy you got to see him win his home race. You knew how much this meant to him and being able to witness in person with Stella made it that much more meaningful.

"I love you." Lando murmurs before letting you go. "I have post race stuff to do, media and all that but I'll meet you back in the drivers room as soon as I can, okay?"

You nod as you squeeze his hand. Stella launches herself into Lando's arms once again and he spins her around, head tipped back on a laugh. The cameras capture it all and if you had been watching it on TV, you would have heard every commentator losing their minds at how cute Lando's little family is.

Lando eventually puts Stella down after he hears Victor calling his name. There is so much to do after a win, especially one as big as winning his home race, but he doesn't want to leave you or Stella quite yet. Lando steals one last kiss from you, drops a kiss onto the top of Stella's head and finally jogs away, knowing he needs to get things taken care of after the win.

Hours later, after all the champagne is washed off and Stella is tucked into bed in the second bedroom of your suite for the weekend, Lando and you tumble into bed together, celebrating one of his biggest wins of the year in the best way possible.

landonorris posted:

508,903 likes liked by yourusername, mclaren, BFFsarah, and others landonorris home race, best race. great race this weekend with my girls here for good luck. yourusername ❤️ so proud of you my love! >>>user992 couple goals fr >>>user334 how does it feel to be god's favorite?! user0299 oh my GODDDD Lando running over to her and Stella after the race and calling them his girls on live tv??? Straight out of a Taylor Swift song. >>>user1221 god, I've seen what you've done for others

tag list: @shelbyteller @formulaal @martygraciesversion381 @samantha-chicago @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland @chlmtfilms @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @linnygirl09 @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream @daemyratwst @dramaticpiratellamas @mochimommy2002 @llando4norris @chelseyyouraverageluigi @iamaunknownsecret @maxivstappen @imlonelydontsendhelp @nina-or-anna-or-nora @a1leexxa @littlegrapejuice @sunflowervol18 @freyathehuntress @finn-dot-com @swiftie-4-lifes-stuff @chirasama @lauralarsen @dr3wstarkey @saskiaalonso @rbv3rstappen @ilovechickenwings @guaaafiiburg @mcmuppet @mindless-rock @piastri-fvx

[roach-works]

Why did wheat become a widespread staple crop given that it's difficult to harvest/transport/etc? This is not meant to be snarky or combative in any way, it's a genuine question. Are there any books you'd recommend for learning more about this kind of economic and technological history? Thanks.

sorry, i've long since forgotten all the actual books i've read about it, but i will always recommend This Guy:

also as very much a non-expert, my semi-informed opinion on Wheat is that growing complicated and difficult compared to going to the grocery store, and doesn't stack up very well to living in a food forest like north and south americans managed, either.

however, wheat is a grass, and grass grows in a lot of places that people also like to live in, and so wheat farming isn't as crazy a venture as it might otherwise seem.

in a lot of climates, it's possible to plant the grass, harvest the grass seeds, and store the seeds long enough to get you through the part of the year where there's nothing much to eat. if you manage your social and material technology right, you can store a lot of the seeds, and you can even transport them around before they rot, meaning you can now export the seeds from places where grass grows into places where it doesn't. the stalks of the grass that you can't eat provides food for the animals you need to help you grow the grass. and transport the seeds, too.

the social structure required to grow wheat in bulk (a steep and violent hierarchy) does three things: feeds everyone in it with enough extra that the guys on the bottom of the organization can survive to grow more wheat next year, and allows the guys on the top can sequester the rest as profit, consolidating their power. the third thing is that as land is converted to wheat fields, it stops yielding any other food but wheat, which locks people into the system for good. once a people depend on a staple cereal grain for their main source of calories, there isn't an easy way back: forests are chewed away for more wheat fields and those woodlands that remain are shifted towards hardwoods for agricultural tools, rather than food forests with fruit/nuts/shrubs, and even those maintained as game preserves still can't support the needs of entire villages.

in arid and semi-arid conditions, it's even harder to step away from dependence on grain farming because there the agricultural development is along rivers where the land can be irrigated, and the population of people supported by grain production is extremely concentrated into those small areas rather than spread across the entire biome.

in the northern parts of eurasia where grain couldn't be produced at scale because it was too rocky and too cold, people mostly went fishing, and when they grew stuff it was hardy root crops like beets and turnips.

DISCLAIMER: this is all very approximate. but now you know as much as i know.

P.S actually here's the last thing about wheat: it probably all started as a way to reliably source and produce beer, which was invented a long time before bread. bread was invented from wheat when the guys who were producing the beer seeds wanted to start exporting beer seeds to people who wanted beer far away, so they baked the seeds into tablets you could easily transport and then ferment with water once you got to your destination. eventually the traders who were transporting the beer kits started eating them, too, and crackers as a snack food really took off. look up the wikipedia article on beer if you don't believe me.

[snarky-badger]

Places to donate to help Palestine

PCRF.net - They did over a 100 medical missions in 2022 (Palestine Children’s Relief Fund)

Middle East Children's Alliance - A Non-profit organization fighting for the well-being and rights of Middle Eastern Children. They also have a link to a 'tool kit' to help spread information about the Gaza Genocide. I'm linking to it directly HERE

Anera: Where Hope Finds a Way - They provide everything from food, medicine and hygiene kits. $30 equals 16 blood bags - an essential thing for helping doctors help people survive horrible physical trauma.

UNICEF.org - Link to where you can donate to help UNICEF get aid to those suffering in Palestine.

And because I know damn well that lots of people don't have the extra funds to donate money - you can help by simply clicking here once a day. It donates ad revenue. Click to help Palestine

[I wanted so much to find other places people could donate that weren't in the US or Canada, but I was having problems figuring out how to ensure that they were reputable. If anyone knows of any, please reblog and add the links!]

And some basic informational sources for those who want to understand what's really going on other than the misleading information from the media.

BDS - The Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions movement works to end international support for Israel's oppression of Palestinians. Offers actual news about what's happening.

Decolonize Palestine - In depth information about the history and origins of Palestine. Also has a great 'debunked myths' section that lists almost all of all the lies the Media has been peddling.

Mondoweiss - An independent website devoted to informing readers about developments in Israel/Palestine and related US foreign policy. (Be aware: Some articles show disturbing images of the horrors happening in Gaza.)

Petitions I found with reputable track records (there are a LOT of fakes out there)

Canada:

Independant Jewish Voices Canada - Gaza on the Brink Ceasefire Now! - Prewritten letter to Justin Trudeau and Mélanie Joly calling for an immediate ceasefire, and for an end to the collective punishment of Palestinians. Just sign your name and it sends a letter!

There are several other ways (Including email addresses to various people/companies, as well as physical addresses you can mail letters to) listed here.

DON'T send threats/hate mail. That does nothing but make them double down on their current stances. Be polite. You don't have to take a happy tone, but be polite.

United States:

USA - Tell Congress: Stop Fueling the Gaza Genocide - Demanding an immediate ceasefire and for Humanitarian Aid to be allowed into Gaza.

Jewish Voice for Peace - You can use their form for send a letter to Congress to demand that they should focus on de-escalation instead of sending money and weapons to Israel so they can continue their genocidal war against Palestinians.

Jewish Voice for Peace (part 2) - Fill out this form and inform President Biden that he should call for a ceasefire and stop supplying money and weapons to Israel.

[mud-castle]

Ok but now I’m imagine that he grew up like tall, even close to Tigerclaw’s height… like gods Maine coon firestar

Graystripe: starclan Fireheart! How you get so big suddenly! You were so tiny when we first met

Fireheart (not really thinking, too much interest in the shrew he was eating): oh that because I was four moons old when we met

Whole clan goes silent

Longtail: I TRIED TO BEAT UP A BABY?!

Lol, Maine Coon Firestar would have to be like two moons old for him to be considered small for a six month old apprentice.

For the sake of maturity you could make him as big as a normal apprentice by making him three moons. Which is still bad, but he's probably old enough that his speech wouldn't tip them off.

I really want to write a oneshot about this now.

Cats, mostly the different queens, noticing how off his development is compared to the other apprentices but dismissing it because he's a kittypet. Of course he looks like he's about to cry during training when he gets knocked down. That's his kttypet weakness showing. Of course he still pounces on cats' tails and romps with the kits. Kittypets are immature like that.

I think Firepaw might not tell Bluestar out of fear of being kicked out for not being able to keep up. When he gets older he probably realizes how silly it was but to younger him that was a valid threat.

Since Yellowfang figured out that he was a kittypet on her own, I think she'd notice she's fighting a kit and immediately back off. She'd probably have an argument with Spottedleaf later about how no, him being part of a prophecy does not justify you making a kit an apprentice. You should've told Bluestar. what is wrong with you.

Following the timeline, he'd be made a warrior at like six or seven moons old. Canon Firestar was at least a young adult when he became leader, Maine Coon Firestar wouldn't even be fully matured at a few moons less than two years old.

Maine coons also don't shed their kitten coats until they're two years old. So Firestar suddenly starts shedding an insane amount and finally gets his adult coat and the clan is silently horrified. I mean, they're probably already concerned that he never stopped growing until he was leader. Even Tigerstar was grown at the age they thought Fire was. If you want to be symbolic this could happen around the time they form Lionclan.

Tigerstar is beefing with a teenager until his death.

Fireheart is like a fourteen year old trying to train a thirteen year old Cinderpaw. No wonder it ended badly

[mechncheese]

your designs are so peak! dyou think youd be willing to share some of your process for how you develop the looks you make?

Sure thing ! I'll take you on a journey into my mind's eye

Long text post ahead in case anyone's interested in my designing process

I start off with references-- lots of references. I pull inspiration from more than one iteration for a character ! For Brainstorm specifically I took the most inspiration from IDW Brainstorm with aspects from G1 like his darker/greener color.

Red Alert's darker color palette is also based on the TFA design with heavy IDW influence. First Aid's little doctor's coat was inspired by the Bayverse Crosshair's coat. Ratchet's design is based on his Prime, G1, IDW, and Cyberverse iterations but I took the most inspiration from his Prime design (I think Prime Ratchet is also my favorite Ratchet so I might be biased)

Before I begin designing anything, I map out the character's silhouette, it gives me a feel for the shapes I want and how they'd stand out in a lineup. Here's Wheeljack for an example.

Then I start the first draft/sketch. I just draw on top of the silhouette and adjust as I go, I'm mostly going based on what feels right to me.

Since a lot of the bots I was working with had White and Red color palettes I had to use different accent colors to break it up and I wanted to emphasize their shape language. I try to keep things from blurring together too much. I also used various off-white colors (it's very subtle) and different shades of red.

I also pull inspiration from figurines/model kits from gundams specifically-- honestly I do this mostly for the legs, I struggle a lot with making the legs look right so I look at Gundam legs for references on knee articulations and the ankles.

a lot of it is trial and error and it usually takes me more than one attempt before finalizing a design. Let me show you the monster that is my first Brainstorm attempt.

Good fucking god I have no idea what the hell I was thinking, literally the first thing I said to myself as I was finishing this was "Oh my god he is UGLY, I cannot keep him like that" he was not working out so I went back to the drawing board and worked small.

Here was my second draft of Brainstorm, I was thinking about his personality as I was working on him which I think helped a lot. Chaotically natured, I incorporated a lot of sharp shapes and I darkened his color palette to a sea green to let the red and yellow/orange accents stand out. It also emphasizes his more sinister personality while the broad yellow-accented shoulders paired with the extra red accents kind of give him this "show-off" and "full of himself" vibe.

My previous mistake was that the blue was far too bright and the orange and red were just clashing too much. Also his wings being flat against his back just did not fit him. I think I was too afraid to break to mold with Brainstorm-- Like there was this line between "This is not Brainstorm enough" or "This is too far from being Brainstorm" and then I remembered his very wise words

Then I just started to get adventurous and experimental and bam, we have Science AU Brainstorm. The major takeaway from this is don't be afraid to get wild with your designs.

In contrast, Since Prowl and Brainstorm will be seen around each other a lot, I kept Prowl's design less flashy and his palette limited, pulling heavily from IDW Prowl. It also fits his personality, he's much more serious and orderly. So when they're seen in the same drawing, there's this nice design compliment between Brainstorm and Prowl.

Another oopsies I did was initial First Aid attempt where I made his accent color orange for some reason. It looked really bad and I ended up changing it to blue which worked a lot better.

But yeah ! That's my general design process ! Play around, have fun and don't be afraid to get experimental and try some new things for designs !

[wlwsoccerfics]

The best moms (LucyBronzeXOnaBatlleXTeenReader)

A/N: what's Written in ' ' is signed not said.

Warning: reader is hard of hearing(she can hear 20 % in the right ear and 10% in the left ear. Reader is sick.

Summary: Lucy, Ona and you are all living in England together now, playing for Chelsea. You are thankful to have both your moms at home.

"y/n! time to leave for practice!" Your Mami yelled out. Your Mom grabbed all three kit bags for practice.

"i think she took her hearing aids out, cause she needed s hearing break, Love." Your Mom explained.

"oh. Give me a Minute then!" Your Mami said and walked upstairs to your room, the door was open so she walked in. Which did make you look up, you looked quite pale and your Mami sure started to worry.

'are you coming downstairs?' your Mami signed

'yes.' you signed back. Standing up from your bed feeling dizzy, which made you start swaying back and forth. Your Mami quickly grabbed a hold of you. You grabbed onto her. Closing your eyes.

"Lucy!" Your Mami yelled downstairs. Your Mom was upstairs quite quickly. Because from the tone

"what's wrong?" She asked your Mami.

"she is not feeling well. When she stood up she started swaying back and forth." Your Mami explained, voice full of concern. At this point you were crying. Your moms both hearing the sobs. Your Mom gently touching your shoulder so you would look at her.

'angel? What is wrong?' your Mom wanted to know.

'my ears hurt so much.' you admitted.

'sweetheart, i think you have an ear infection! We need to go and see a doctor!' your Mom explained.

'what about practice?' you wanted to know.

'you can't practice like that. you are not feeling well. i will let the Team know that we can't make it to practice today.' your Mom replied and you just nodded her head. Your Mami leading you to the car after helping you put on some shoes. She didn't want you to get even more dizzy.

Your Mom called Sonia to let her know that neither of the three of you would be going to practice today and why.

"please give me an update on y/n and Tell her i hope she feels better soon!" Sonia stated.

"will do. And thanks for understanding." Your Mom replied.

"of course." Sonia stated.

You already sat in the Car with your Mami, she sat in the backseat with you, when your Mom got into the Car and sat into the drivers seat. You had your head leaned against Onas shoulder and fell asleep before Lucy had even started the car. You have been exhausted because were up all night with the pain in your ears. Which was actually why you didn't want to wear your hearing aids.

"i hate that she is not feeling very well. Breaks my Heart!" Ona stated. Lucy sighed softly.

"i hate it as well. It hurts seeing our sweet Girl Like that." Lucy replied. She kept driving to the doctors Office. Parking the car. Ona woke you Up gently.

The three of you walked inside the doctors Office and your Mom signed you in. You sat down in the waiting room inbetween your parents and had to wait for a bit.

' i am sorry you two miss out on practice.' you let your moms know.

'don't worry about it!' your Mami replied.

'you are way more important then football!' your Mom answered. You offered them both a small smile. Even though you felt quite crappy. You also hated that you had to miss practice.

The doctor was ready to see you after waiting for almost 40 minutes. Thankfully he knew sign Langauge so he could communicate with you.

'when did the pain start?' He wanted to know.

'yesterday morning. but it wasn't so bad.' you explained.

'alright, i am gonna take a look at your ears now.' He let you know. You nodded your head in agreement but winced cause that actually did hurt. You also started to develop a fever and a pretty bad headache. The doctor could tell by the way you were acting. After checking your ears he held a fever Thermometer against your forehead.

'you have a fever and an ear infection. Sleep is important. Get enough rest as you can and i will write down some meds you could take.' the doctor explained.

Your parents drove home with you after grabbing your meds from the pharmacy. Again you fell asleep in the Car and your Mami held you. When you reached Home your Mom carried you upstairs and to your bed. You mumbled softly.

"Mom? stay?" You said and Lucy laid down with you after taking Off her shoes and yours. Ona called Sonia to let her know that you had an ear infection. And would be Out for at least a week before going to practice.

Your Mami also informed school before cuddling up to you and your Mom. You were asleep between them. Cuddling with the two of them. Your moms really were the best and being sick wasn't so bad when you had them by your side.

[spinecouture]

perverted

word count: 1,180

summary: daryl has a sick obsession, a crush that has become a real pain in his ass. when you ask for a favor, he's more than happy to. hell, he'd kill for you. and a whiff of your panties, but you don't need to know all that.

themes: perverted!daryl, fem!pov, creepy behavior, panty sniffing, male masturbation, intentional lowercase

notes: a sick and twisted idea insp by my partner, my own sick nasty freak <3 a little longer one for you whores!!! feedback is much appreciated.

“daryl,” carol snapped him out of his daydream.

the man never daydreamed, never got lost in thought. at least, not with a smile like that on his face. he sighed, rubbing his face.

“sorry,” he grunted.

carol shook her head, “no, don’t be. you… got somethin’ on your mind?”

something, or someone?

daryl had been thinking about you since his group got to alexandria. oh god, you had him in a chokehold. he was going crazy, thinking about the way your hips swayed, you hair bounced and eyes sparkled. he felt sick, like a damn junkie passing by a crackhouse.

daryl finally shrugged, “jus’ thinkin’ about life, i guess. about bein’ here.”

carol gave a empathetic smile, knowing he had been struggling to move on from all the death, all the loss. he’d struggled to find his place in their new home, too, and that made her nervous.

“you can talk to me,” she murmured.

daryl nodded, “yeah, i know.”

then you walked by, and carol figured it out. she watched the way daryl’s eyes shifted, pupils blowing wide as you walked along the pavement. the way his lips parted slowly, nearly drooling at how your ass looked in those jeans.

“daryl,” carol smacked his arm. “you could at least be more subtle.”

“ah, alright,” the man grumbled, rubbing his bicep. “fuck.”

slowly, though, a smile painted carol’s face. she watched you disappear, before giving daryl a look. “you like her,” she said.

“nah,” his hair fell in his face.

“oh, you so do!” carol exclaimed.

daryl groaned, rolling his neck dramatically, “shut up. ain’t nothin’ happenin’, so jus’ leave it alone.”

“really? i think you deserve someone,” she replied, poking daryl teasingly. “she seems like she’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

“you don’t even know her.”

carol shrugged, “well, i’m just saying. i think it’d be good for you to at least make some friends besides us.”

daryl huffed, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it. he didn’t need friends, or a lover, or anything like that. he was better on his own, anyway.

daryl’s small crush had quickly developed into a borderline obsession. he couldn’t help it, you had something that drove him crazy.

he made a point to come and visit you often, where you usually had a lunch ready for him to take on his supply runs. you had a big smile every time you handed it to him, and it made daryl want to shove his cock past those lips and down your throat.

he loved your voice. he listened to you tell stories, laugh, sing. god, he could listen to you sing all day. he even heard you bickering with someone once, and that had him jerking off against the side of your house, hands slapped over his mouth as he came to the sound of your angry tone.

it got worse and worse with time, because he could barely talk to you most days, but fuck if he wasn’t constantly fisting his dick to the thought of you.

one day, though, it all tipped over the edge. you had enough trust in him to ask if he could grab something from your house.

“daryl, since you’re going that way, can you grab my first aid kit? it’s in my bathroom, under the sink,” your gorgeous voice rang.

he nodded mindlessly, immediately getting up and wandering towards your house. a couple people nearby snickered at his eagerness.

once inside, however, daryl found himself in a pickle. the scent of you was everywhere—your clothes strewn across the hall, your shampoo in the bathroom, the lipstick stains on your coffee mug from earlier that morning. it made him dizzy.

his task was to go straight to the master bathroom, located inside your room, and grab the first aid kit. daryl found himself walking slow, taking in every detail of your home. down the hall, he pondered the photos hanging on the wall, the stains in the carpet. he wondered if you’d lived with anyone else before the outbreak, of the life you might’ve lived.

once in your room, daryl was overwhelmed. your scent was flooding his nose, damnit, he was getting hard just thinking about how you’d look in bed, what you wore.

inside the bathroom, a couple towels and some random discarded clothes littered the floor. but one item in particular was screaming at him. your panties. the tiny piece of lace had daryl’s stomach doing flips, and even as he knelt down to open the cabinet, he was looking at your underwear.

the first aid kit was easy to find. he had no issue with that. his problem was pulling his mind away from your clothes. namely, your little lace panties. his hands squeezed the kit, debating how low he would go.

“fuck…” he hissed under his breath.

it wasn’t long before he gave in. he dropped the kit, and got down on his knees. scooping the fabric into his palms, he admired them, mouth watering. oh god, i’m going straight to hell, he thought. slowly, tantalizingly, he brought your undergarments to his nose, breathing in. fuck, that’s good. daryl’s cock twitched, his head foggy.

“daryl?”

he heard your voice from down the hall, quickly jolting back to reality. in a panic, he shoved your panties in his pocket, grabbing the first aid kit.

“y-yeah!” he called, stumbling out of the bathroom and towards you. “got it.”

your brows furrowed, taking note of his flushed cheeks. “what, d’ya get lost?” you asked teasingly, nudging his shoulder. “c’mon.”

the fabric in daryl’s pocket was burning his skin, making him dizzy and disoriented. he kept walking, though, following close behind you.

daryl had never been so wracked with guilt in his life. even now, laying on his bed alone, he felt sick. because he hadn’t returned your underwear, and he may never. what was worse than you losing your panties? finding out that daryl stole your panties, like a sick freak.

despite this, his fingers were still intertwined with the fabric, slowly wrapping it around his length. hard, twitching and aching, he gripped his cock like a vice. he needed this—that’s how he justified it. it was the only thing keeping him from snapping.

daryl’s head fell back, eyes fluttering as the sweet scent of your pussy mingled with his dick. the scene was deplorable, but it was working. the man struggled to get off for years until you entered the picture. now, he was like a teenager again.

“fuck, fuck, fuck–“ daryl groaned, hand moving faster, tightening around himself.

at some point, he’d adjusted the lace so it hugged the tip, giving his pre-cum something to soak into. the back of his head screamed at him, degrading him for being so perverted, but it only made him harder.

balls tightening, daryl came hard, all over your white lace panties. his load spilled down his shaft, his fingers, as he slowed his movements. once his breathing had evened out, he let the lace fall onto his stomach.

he couldn’t keep doing this to himself.

[wc-confessions]

resending because idk if this ever went through or if tumblr deleted it 💔💔 fuckass website bro

Mapleshade’s Novella is about Grief. Not Vengeance.

I don't like to debate about this book because there's no reasoning with people who are the equivalent of brick walls. (Maple and Freckle fans) But it's very frustrating to see that people lack critical thinking skills to the point that Mapleshade's novella has been severely misinterpreted for the last eight years. The book isn't about vengeance, and if you guys took the time to analyze the characters and see what core thing they have in common, you could easily understand that this book is about grief. 

There is no good or evil in this book, and nobody was made to be a hater. Hating any character would be foolish because the majority of you will criticize a character for doing something and then turn to defend another who has done this exact thing. That's not to say none of them have flaws, but hating any character when they are literally the same with different fonts is useless. 

The Mapleshade novella is a book about grief, and there is no good or evil UNTIL Mapleshade kills. With that being said, absolutely no one in that book deserved to die or suffer; yes, that included Oakstar and Appledusk. Not sure why I'd have to specify, but you weirdos hate fictional images to the point of wishing death and saying horrific things along the lines of wanting to torture and beat them if they were real.

Grief is a very complex emotion and makes us say and do very irrational things that we might not mean or really feel after the spur of the moment. Grief makes us do things that we would've done otherwise if we didn't feel it. The situation of Oakstar exiling Mapleshade and her kits is easy to judge and view from an outside standpoint because the readers themselves weren't there to experience or see just how deeply Oakstar's grief affected him. 

If you only sympathize with one of the characters in the book, then you don't understand what it is to feel grief and pain. Nobody has the ability to sympathize with and understand others if they cannot place themselves in another's situation and understand how they could've dealt with that situation. It's easy to just say what you would've done, but it's not until you actually understand what it is to suffer. From the start, Oakstar was shown as a kind fella, albeit very vindictive, which is understandable considering his POV of the situation with Birchface and Appledusk. 

Oakstar's grief is fueled by the betrayal he feels from a clanmate who he trusted deeply, who led him to believe that she was carrying his deceased child's kittens and being led to believe for 4 months that she was the mother of his grandchildren when in reality the cat he deeply trusted took advantage of his trust and used his deceased son's name to cover up her "crimes" and the fact that her children were fathered by the murderer of his child.

With all of these events hitting him so fast, realistically, if you were in this situation, what exactly would you do? You would want the person who hurt you to leave and be out of your space. I'm not saying that it was okay for Oakstar to banish innocent children, but it's understandable why he did that. His exile of the children was backed up in the fact that he believed their presence in the camp would bring danger. And Frecklewish, being his only child left, he'd want to do anything he could to protect her. On top of that, it was StarClan themselves who sent the sign that they would be dangerous, so if anything, the children being banished were entirely StarClan's fault. Their incompetence in this book and the grief that every character feels play a major role in this book. 

The same point I made for Oakstar also applies to Frecklewish. I often see people paint her as this sad victim when in reality she is far from that. She is very vindictive and an asshole, which are traits that were developed because of her grief. Her grief over knowing that her trusted friend lied to her and betrayed her brother's name caused her to attack a mother in front of her terrified children. Her grief caused her to lash out and wish harm on those who never deserved it. Grief isn't just sadness. It's anger; it's rage. 

The same thing can be said for Appledusk. While I don't condone cheating in the slightest, and while it isn't relevant at all to our conversation of grief, I would like to note that he did in fact love both of his mates. Him risking his life to nearly drown for Mapleshade and their kits says it all. Him jumping to take the killing blow for Reedshine and laying down his life says it all. 

Before the exile events occurred, when he met Mapleshade at the river and saved Patchkit, the text notes that while he's speaking to her, there is a deep, deep longing in his eyes, which does show that he cares and loves her despite it all. He tells her that he’s proud of her and that she and their kits are strong. Does not that say enough about how much he admired her?

 Boiling him down to a simple cheater with no other personality traits is ridiculous and shows a lot of peoples lack of reading comprehension. "Well, if he loved her, he wouldn't have.-“ These are cats. Just because they have sentient-level human thoughts does not mean you should go applying human morals and actions to them when they don't know what that is. The only thing from human society they understand is murder.

Appledusk risked his own life to jump into a flash-flooded river to save Mapleshade and stayed with her to comfort her when he brought her onto the bank. He was willing to jump in that river again when she told him their kids were trapped. Moving onto his grief because I need to explain this in as much depth and my own analysis as possible since people don't seem to understand a character's nuance or what that word even means. 

When Appledusk returns to her after trying to save their kits, the text notes that Mapleshade wouldn't see his expression and that he came wordless and didn't speak to her while taking her to their children. He had completely shut down, which is a factor also caused by grief. From my own experience of grieving and going through different stages, shutting down is a common thing that occurs in those grieving who can't feel anything other than intense sadness. 

Appledusk shutting down and turning Mapleshade away wasn't written in just for him to be an asshole. That wouldn't make sense considering the very obvious theme of this book. It's written to show how differently grief can affect others. Anyone would shut down if they had to witness the sodden corpses of children, especially if it was the parent themselves. 

During chapter four, before getting to RiverClan camp, Appledusk remained quiet and despondent until after he heard Mapleshade admit that she had purposefully led their children into a flooded river during a storm despite what he had told her early about keeping them away from the river to ensure their safety. He isn't aware of the full situation of what happened back in ThunderClan; therefore, his actions and grief are motivated solely by what he knows.

Appledusk's talking tone is shifted to being stunned, which is being shocked. It's as if your heart is dropping because you've just learned of a terrible situation or truth. Earlier in the book, Appledusk displays a great concern for the lives of Mapleshade and their kittens if ThunderClan were to find out the truth. They both willingly risked their own lives and the lives of their kittens to keep seeing each other despite how cruel the warrior code is. Which I should add, neither of them is in the wrong, and neither deserved to be punished. 

I believe this is why he referred to his actions as being a mistake, because otherwise, if he and Mapleshade had never gotten infatuated or just been more careful, then their innocent children wouldn't have had to suffer. Not sure how anyone interpreted this as him calling his wife and children mistakes, but that also just proves the point that this fandom doesn't have good media literacy. You could understand every character's POV and emotions if you just read back on some parts of the book or just took the time to actually understand each of their grief and how they handled it. 

The book also notes that Mapleshade almost winced at the pain in Appledusk's eyes when he says that. He doesn't hate Mapleshade or his children; he never did, but his grief caused him to think irrationally and not clearly think the situation through, and his grief prevented him from actually wanting to understand why Mapleshade did what she did. "I should have never betrayed my clan by meeting with Mapleshade" is a thing he says out of grief because his meeting with Mapleshade led to so many conflicting actions that harmed those around them that didn't deserve it. 

In fact, their meetings ended up hurting each other. Mapleshade's recklessness cost them their lives and their precious babies, which Appledusk then views as it being her fault and views her as a killer, which isn't a bad thing. It's an irrational response, and he feels that he hasn't had time to process the events happening. It's why he tells Darkstar he will regret everything he did because all it did was, in the long run, unexpectedly come back to hit him in the ass when StarClan ire killed their children. 

When Appledusk explains why Mapleshade and their kits were here, the text notes that his voice falters. To falter means that the speaker cannot speak normally because they're feeling emotions too intense for them to understand, which is an action also caused by grief. The pale brown warrior shook his head. “Why should I? It’s your fault that these kits are dead. I never want to see you again.” 

I will repeat this point again that Appledusk is refusing to help her because of the intense grief he feels. 

"It's your fault that these kids are dead; I never want to see you again" is a thought and emotion that stems entirely from his grief, not because he wants to "save his own ass" or wants to "suck up." Which to add during this, he never tried to defend himself when Darkstar was planning to exile him. It was Reedshine and Reedshine only. Meaning that he wouldn't have cared if he was cast out with Mapleshade as well. I do think that if he had been exiled, either way, he wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere near Mapleshade. 

Appledusk is the only character (besides Myler) who showed Mapleshade any sympathy for what happened. He feels sympathy because he had time to calm down from his grief; he refuses to harm her and only tells her to leave because he still cares for her. She is his past mate, the mother of his children, and someone he deeply trusted and still even admired. He obviously doesn't hold any more ill will toward her anymore unlike Frecklewish because he has time to calm down over the intense grief he felt losing his children, and he understands that she is hurting too. 

Some will say I'm defending these characters too hard because they "wronged" Mapleshade, which isn't the case, but I'm fine with that. Appledusk and Oakstar are particularly interesting characters to me because they both did things that directly affected and harmed each other. Appledusk accidentally killed his son, and Oakstar unknowingly led Appledusk's children to a cruel and untimely death.

I understand the book perfectly, so no criticism anyone has about my analysis will bother me. I used to hate this book despite it actually being so messy. But after taking a deeper look, I admire it a lot. It just took having more sympathy for all the characters and developing better comprehension skills for me to understand what it's truly about. 

Also going to say I'm not putting the blame all on Mapleshade either. I think the only ones truly to blame for any actions in the book are StarClan and Mapleshade when she chooses to murder. StarClan could've solved a lot of these issues but chose not to. They've been shown in other books to step in and interact with the living, but they chose to let everything spiral. I don't think Mapleshade was at fault for lying because she never actually said it was Birchface, and that assumption was pushed onto her.

However, I do fault her for the children dying. Oakstar and Frecklewish played an inadvertent role in those children dying as well. Frecklewish for suggesting and instigating the exile in the first place and Oakstar carrying it out. However, like I said before, StarClan's omen of these children being dangerous played a role in why he also exiled them, so it's more StarClan's fault than anyone else's. 

ฅ^>⩊<^ ฅ

[chelnciel]

About ch 25

Ladies and gentlemen, our delicious black-haired uke is here.

I can’t believe it, I’ve been waiting for this moment for years! He looks so handsome! He’s so handsome!! Every chapter that passes leaves me thinking that it was inevitable for Kagi to fall in love… He’s the whole package: handsome, kind, intelligent, dedicated and caring and even funny (in his own way).

I got a good laugh out of him dyeing his hair in the dorm bathroom, he takes zero care with his hair! I just hope that when he’s an adult, he’ll be more aware of and pay a stylist. But what I liked most about that scene is how everyday and natural it is for a teenager to dye his hair without much care with a home hair dye kit (I also used those in my student years), so how everyday life is portrayed I loved it.

Now, I LOVE Kagi’s shocked face seeing that his stunning and shiny Hirano has black hair! The shock on his face is undeniable, and Hirano's pissed off face is epic. Did he expect him to take it so easy if he's never seen him like this before? Although I think he likes him more with blonde hair (even though there are some sparkles around anyway) he's still our his handsome bad boy.

But he quickly shakes off the shock because Kagi is so hungry for Hirano!

He can't help but look at Hirano's neck and completely forget his initial stupefaction, and I think we'll have a lot more scenes like this from now on, because Kagi is reaching his limit. I think he doesn't just want to tell him (and shout from the rooftops) that he loves his roommate, but he wants to express it in the broadest sense of the word.

Kagi knowing what Hirano smells like... We had already seen that he likes the smell of his bed, but he shamelessly tells him that he doesn't have the same smell as usual, that boy is so in love! And the worst thing is that Hirano doesn't even move an eyebrow at his comments.

Because Hirano really doesn't get it.

And that hurts me (and Kagi as well)

Because Kagi is more and more in love, more and more immersed in that seemingly unrequited love, and every touch he gives to our favorite blond only drives him more desperate, since he simply can't touch him the way he wants because Hirano doesn't know what he himself wants.

And maybe Hirano can't respond to Kagi, not because he doesn't want to, but because he really can't, and that would be okay, since he must first understand what romance is for him, and also learn about his own sexuality in order to reciprocate Kagi's love. So there's a long way to go since he's just now seeing that "normal" isn't obvious to him.

Normal.

The fact that in this chapter we begin to think about what is normal makes me think that this story is definitely far from the naive story of ssmy (which dealt with it superficially). Among the negative approach that others characters have towards homosexuality (Hanzawa being the main detractor here) that is much more evident in HRKG and this somewhat aroace facet of Hirano, I think it is possible that we see a more complex development since there are two very important factors that make the consolidation of the relationship more difficult. Special mention that Hirano was looking for the definition of normal, and not that of romance or another that could guide him, without taking into account that he is with a kind of study computer (or something like that, it is too small to even be a netbook*) and he doesn't even Google it! That's why the answers are so brief and linked to the academic. Poor boy, there is a long way to go.

I had already thought about this, but I think he urgently needs to take one of those magazine tests where you mark the alternatives and have a result as “you are in love”! **. Well, I think Hirano urgently needs a guide or someone to consult with. And maybe now that he knows that Sasaki is not exactly in the same situation as him, and that he does want to kiss his crush, he can go ask him and clear up his, now, black-haired head.

And while again we don't see his reaction to Kagi almost kissing him (that panel is tattooed in my eyes), now I firmly believe that he didn't really realize that he was going to be kissed. Because if he's just now thinking about it, and only when he heard his classmates talking about it did he think about kissing Kagi, we have two important points:

1- Hirano hasn't really thought about romance or what a romantic relationship means to him.

2- If he hasn't thought about or understands that kind of interaction, then he must not have realized that he was almost kissed.

It's just that if Kagi doesn't tell him, he doesn't realize it. Just like when he touched his hair, if he doesn't tell him to his face, he doesn't understand the intentions and now it leaves me thinking: does he really understand what it means to do this lovers experiment?

Because only when talking to his classmates has he thought that he's going to have to flirt, that he's going to kiss, and then at some point he'll have to think about what else a love relationship entails (and God knows what else is Kagi waiting for to happen between them).

But he never made the connection of why Ogasawara was looking under his girlfriend's pillow even when his other classmates pointed out (indirectly) why he might have been under her sheets. So he's never really thought about the subject? So, it's not just that he has to figure out his feelings for his friend anymore, he also has to discover his own sexuality, and I think this is super complex since suddenly, he finds himself in the middle of a confession, an experiment he doesn't understand and a sexual awakening he never came close to in all his years. At most he saw the magazines and CDs passed around the classroom and the disciplinary committee, but then he never cared to look at them. He really is learning from scratch, and in a very short time.

A chapter that was very short for me and that I think sets the stage for Hirano's arc of self-knowledge, both about himself and about what he feels for Kagi, but not necessarily leading to an immediate confession (I just hope it's in Kagi's favor, and not leading to a no for an answer).

And I don't want sensei to give us a hasty confession because there is so much to tell that I would find it a waste if in two chapters Hirano understood everything and confessed (there is still room for more delicious angst).

But this ch left me with a bittersweet taste… I really thought there was progress (in romance), but I feel like it's a confirmation that Hirano doesn't really understand anything. Still, it makes me sad because it is difficult not to understand what is “normal”, to have those questions and not knowing how to deal with them, but this chapter gave me the feeling that there is still a long long way to go before we can see them together. This is something that I already feared after seeing some of the extras in ssmy and other illustrations, that they are not going to be together that fast, although I still have hope that they will be able to be a couple before Hirano leaves the dorm.

Just one more idea: Hirano thinking about kissing Kagi in his bed, this is straight out of a fanfic! (And we already know how it would end).

[amingledyarn]

Where can I learn.to crochet?

Long post with links for beginners!!

Howdy. There are a million ways and places to learn to crochet. I started with this little kit and budget acrylic and cotton yarns from walmart and really appreciated the included illustrations for basic stitches.

BUT you do not have to buy anything besides a hook and yarn. I would actually recommend you ask your friends/family/coworkers if they have any they could lend or give you to learn, because you quickly amass these things and most people have cheaper duplicates they don't really use/want anymore from when they were first learning.

You want a weight 4-5 yarn with the corresponding hook size (this info will be on the label) in a light color so you can see your stitches clearly.

For basic written instructions, I would recommend the Dummies.com crochet articles. Their crochet for dummies book is great, but not required IMO! Here is the order I'd read/learn them to start.

Crochet hook basics

How to hold a crochet hook

Starting the yarn on your hook

How to crochet the chain stitch

How to crochet a turning chain

How to crochet the slip stitch

How to make a single crochet

Keep in mind it may take you a good amount of attempts as you develop proper technique. You can either rip/unwind your work and start over, or keep them intact to see how much you're improving as you go! Once you get comfortable with the above concepts, find a super easy pattern, ideally one without pattern abbreviation/symbols, like this Placemat. You'll also probably want to soon learn the Double and Treble/Triple crochet stitch.

Hop on Youtube.com and find a video for each topic to help you if you get stuck, and of course check out your local library for free books and magazines. Just make sure whatever you're using is in the correct terminology. Everything I mentioned uses US terminology. You can easily "translate" UK terminology, but I wouldn't recommend it for someone still learning.

Don't be discouraged if someone tries to show you how to do something and it doesn't make any sense. Not everyone is a great teacher tbh. If a video doesn't help, try slowing it down or finding another one on the same concept! If you start to feel bored, don't be afraid to find a project you're excited about and give it a try...it will be more challenging, but whatever gets you trying and practicing works.

Let me know if you have any specific questions or want more pattern recommendations!

[taintandviolent]

Knead ; Kit Walker x reader

summary: Kit hasn’t been coping well with Briarcliff life, and developed an unhealthy solution to the numbness he feels on a daily basis. You’re a perfect, beautiful part of his plan.

word count: 1.7K

w a r n i n g s: hurt, angst, depression, kind of whump, brief mentions of smut, female receiving, violence, fist fights and brief mention of injuries.

a/n: my first official Kit Walker fic!! requested by an anonymous!! anon; hope this is what you had in mind and I delivered!! I tried to focus more on Kit’s motivations and issues than the smut, so that’s why it’s a little lighter on the fucking this go round! I dunno why I struggle writing for Kit so much, aaaaah! also written at work, so usual apologies for any disjointed or clunky writing!!!

full fic under the cut! / ao3 link here! / I don't have a taglist, but please turn on post notifications if you want to be notified of future fics!

The storm raged on outside, a horrible deluge that had lasted days. Kit's dark eyes flitted to the clock on the wall. The hands ticked by but time never seemed to change. Not here. He needed to feel something. Anything. The days turned into weeks, weeks into months and nothing ever changed. He was an accused man, previously compos mentis, but with his surroundings, that title deteriorated gradually.

Kit Walker was losing it. Slowly, but surely. The cold, grey tone of Briarcliff was swallowing him whole, like a starved, but fading beast. Days were the worst - at least come evening, he could sleep. With sleep, came dreams. Dreams of somewhere else, dreams of you. Days were long and dreary, and Kit soon realized that the only thing that mattered were physical feelings. His mind wasn't a safe place to be. The truth of it was, Kit felt his fire burning out, and started acting out.

First, it was intentionally burning the biscuits. He was reprimanded and sentenced to biscuit duty for the next two weeks. Then it was sneaking out from the common room on repeated occasions, sulking along the hallways as though he wanted to get caught. Deep down, he did. Reprimanded again, and confined to solitary as punishment. But that afternoon, he craved something deeper. He needed something that would last, and Sister Jude had an unusual streak of mercy lately. It had to be good.

"Hey, sugah’."

Your tired hands stopped their kneading. You looked up, wide-eyed, with a smear of flour across your cheek. He didn't know it, but you'd had a thing - a silly little crush - on Kit Walker since you saw him in the common room during your first week. You'd heard the rumours, but every time you exchanged words, he was the nicest guy you'd ever met. Seemed like he had good, strong family values and manners -- which was more than you could say for most of the men you'd met.

Kit spotted the dash of white and reached out, wiping it away with the pad of his thumb. You really were one of the cutest girls he'd seen since Alma. It wouldn't be hard to do what he wanted... what he needed to do to feel again.

"Hi, Kit." You murmured, frustrated before returning to the pile of off-white dough. The last thing you needed was a distraction; the biscuits were already hard enough to get right, and Sister Jude was a stickler for them being made correctly.

"Whatsa' mattah'?" He could sense your irritation, and furrowed his brows. Maybe his plan wasn't going to work after all.

"I can't... get these darn biscuits right! Every time I try, they come out too hard and I'm just..." You grit your teeth and shoved the mound of dough away from your hands. "I'm so frustrated!"

"Dough duty, huh?"

You nodded, and pushed a strand of hair out of your eyes with your wrist.

"Here, sweethaht', lemme' show you. I've done enough of 'em to know how to do it right."

He was suddenly behind you, his arms stretching out to the table in front of you. He rested his hands atop of yours, and slowly began moving them, kneading them slowly. Much slower and softer than you had been.

"Just like that," he murmured, his lips close to your ear. "You gotta' be gentle with 'em... firm, but not too much... or they'll seize up on ya', makes 'em tough." His words were low and sweet, and you didn't have to try very hard to find another meaning to them. They evoked a deep, body-rocking shiver from your core. It travelled up your spine and made your teeth chatter. Kit laughed breathily behind you.

"Am I doing it right?" You whispered, your voice sweet and demure, laced with intention. "I have a tendency to wanna'... go fast."

"Slooow, sugah', nice n' slow. Othawise..." His teeth grazed your ear. "The dough won't rise."

Without warning, you rutted your ass against his groin, moaning aloud. You ground your ass against him slowly, just like he told you to. Kit made a fist in the dough over yours, forcing your hands deep into the flour. This was progressing faster than he expected. He hadn't known you'd be so willing to his advances. His cock twitched to life, tightening the front of his pants.

"You want it bad, sugah'?"

"I want it bad," you echoed. Suddenly, all worries of getting caught went out the window, you were no longer concerned about which Sister would find you - you just wanted him.

It had been weeks since either of you felt intimacy, felt that clawing hunger as it boiled in your core. You whimpered and dropped your head to his shoulder.

"Let me feel you, Kit... please..."

Kit ripped his flour-covered fingers from the dough, and reached back to his crotch, pulling his throbbing cock from his pants. He flipped the edge of your uniform up, and pressed his heavy cock against the curve of your ass. The sensation was indescribable, and he let out a throaty groan.

The hunger had him. The hunger, and the promise of punishment. Your body was soft and sweet like the dough in front of you two and had him going, that was undeniable, but the threat was what was really driving him forward. He needed to feel everything he could. He took hold of his cock, stroking it slowly against your ass cheeks, feeling the precum as it leaked into his hands.

Kit's free hand wrapped around your hips again, urging them backwards into his own. You whimpered, letting him take full control. Your fingers were still embedded in the dough, squeezing through the spaces between your digits.

With a deep sound, Kit slipped himself inside you. Your walls squeezed around him as he plunged himself as deep as he could, humping you hard. His thrusts were determined, but steady and slow. Just like he'd said...

You reached around to take hold of his soft brown hair, making a fist in the locks. He didn't care that your fingers were covered in flour, and it was falling into the collar of his shirt. He didn't care about anything except what he was feeling.

Touch-starved, it didn't take him long to climax. Kit emptied his load inside you, pumping it deep. You whimpered, rolling your lips inward to soften the moans. You were close behind him, and when he whispered in your ear, begging you to do it, you did.

Kit heard the heavy bootsteps before you did. But he didn't move. He was ready.

"Hey! What in the hell do you think you're doin'!?" The orderly bellowed, and Kit yanked his softening cock from you. Your legs twitched together as it left you, the slippery feeling sending another wave of pleasure through you.

Phase two of his plan was in action. Kit stepped in front of you, fists raised in front of his face. He pumped, and threw the first punch, making contact with the guy's cheekbone. He reeled back, touching his skin to see if he'd broken skin -- he hadn't. But he was going to pay for that.

Fortunately for Kit and his now-sick need, he hit him back, harder, splitting his lip immediately. You spun around, pressing your back against the table, covering your mouth in horror as the two men fought.

The man threw a hard left hook and Kit went down, falling to the cold cement floor with a thud. You could do nothing but scream, begging for him to stop. Through winces, Kit looked up at you and shook his head. To you, he was being noble. To him, he was revelling in the pain he was feeling and wanted nothing to interrupt it.

~

"Assaulting an orderly, Mr. Walker?"

"Yes, Sistah'. He looked at me sideways."

"He interrupted your fornication, is what he did." She sternly remarked. Kit swallowed, looking down at his feet. The punishment was coming - he wouldn't have been called into her office otherwise.

"Seems like he got the better of you." She gestured to him pointedly. He had, that was true. Kit had gotten a few good punches in, but the orderly was bigger and brawnier, and had walloped him as soon as he'd gotten the chance. The cut on his lip stung every time he spoke, and his ribs were definitely bruised from the steel-toed berrage that he'd endured earlier.

"Over my desk," she rasped. Kit was almost excited -- a disgusting, disappointing feeling that he knew, deep down, he shouldn't be feeling. But a feeling was a feeling and he had to ride it out, in whatever way he could.

"Sistah' Jude," he interjected, as he bent over the modest wooden desk. "I'm sahrry' for what I did but don't punish her. She didn't do anything. It was all me."

"Mr. Walker," she replied. "I'll do exactly as I see fit."

The first hit stung. She was using the wooden switch, and it sliced through the air with an audible thwip. It burned against his skin, sweltering hot heat coursing over his cheeks and the back of his thighs. Tears bit at the corner of his eyes, it felt so terrible. That was just it -- it felt so terrible. He hadn't felt this much in weeks.

She hit him again, just above the spot where she'd previously hit. Kit winced again, clenching his fists hard atop her desk. Another one, and the tears streamed down his cheeks. He inhaled through clenched teeth and exhaled hard through his nose with each hit. Sister Jude's kind streak had ended, and she was unrelenting.

Twelve hits later, she finally stopped. Kit was sent back to his room, welted and bruised all over, but hell... at least he felt something.

[kitty-gray]

I wholeheartedly believe that, at least from Ty's perspective, Livvy was such an elemental part of his identity that it was impossible for him to even think he could belong anywhere without her, and that that was one of his motivations for the ritual.

Then Kit, who really wanted a life with Ty, goes and says "When you brought Livvy back, you changed yourself. You made yourself a different person than the one I loved, I don't know the person you are now. You took yourself away from me. I can't forgive that." I think it's Cassandra's way to say that, by performing the ritual, Ty's perspective of not fully existing without Livvy became true. Now, they really can't be apart for too long before Ty starts dying. (There's something to say about the necklace but This Is Not That Post)

Thematically, this makes it more about identity than about the ritual per se.

So here's my take:

Ty wants Kit's forgiveness more than anything. But for Kit to forgive him, he has to be Ty again. He has to learn that there's a Ty without a Livvy. And he has to choose it for himself, because Kit would never ask Ty to choose him over Livvy. Ty has to let Livvy go to be his own person again, and it has to be his decision. (There's also something to say about the stages of grief but again: not that post)

And that's the kind of soul wretching torture character development Cassandra would makes us go through.