#I keep forgetting to post my art here woops

[spac3trash]

polymar!!!

twitter really liked this one, so thought I’d share it here too,,,

[tsokolatesea]

*drops squidbob haikaveh doodle and runs*

[nobodyspecialhereblog]

Base Blog Info

Art Tag - Commissions - Linktree Sketches and OC Blog ( @ukusreticence )

Reblog and Random Comments Blog ( @ludicrouspajamas ) TLDR; don't expect posts, don't expect reblogs, likes, follows- don't expect activity in general, don't expect anythin from me, I'm just going with the flow and my current vibes. :) energy levels vary a lot.

Feels like I should state this at some point and leave it pinned. Nobodyspecialhereblog was originally intended to be a normal tumblr blog after the original iteration of it got deleted due to personal reasons. However due to my horrendous habit of keeping up with things, this is more of an archive of my art so I have something to look back on now. :) Maybe I'll do SOME reblogs and stuff again but I kinda ended up getting myself a lotta social anxiety again :( so for now it's MOSTLY for art. I dunno if I'll be doing reblogging and such. Probably not. It's more of just an art archive, a way to browse things, and indulge in my self interests. I might draw random fanart, check on my friends, check on other creators or blogs, and likely do a little of it all every once and awhile. Depends on whether or not I remember. :P I am doing AT LEAST yearly posts but it's mostly for the whole art archive thing. Y'know?

I will say tho, I think I've come pretty far since I first joined tumblr and the first time I made this blog. Even comparing now to the start of the second version of this blog, I've changed a lot and I'm proud of myself. :)

I'll put some latest notes here if I ever remember to bother to... Y'know... Update. Or check my tumblr. Or honestly Imma probably forget about this post ahaha. Update Count Since Post: 7

Latest News: (Last Updated 10/16/2024) oof lost my motivation for tumblr after being on it for like 7 months straight. Woops? Artfight think burnt out my want to draw too unfortunately. poppin in every so often, always checking notes but nothing more. occasional browsing.

[spaceagetoon]

Barbie, Eat Your Heart Out ❤️🔪

[staarbles]

my littol funky toonkind baker pam de sol doodles!! from funky outfits to adult pam doobles, bc its been a long while since ive posted arts abt her on here hdnnbxmx

feat. my other toonkind ocs daydreamer and barley! (in his pajamas)

[takis-scribbles]

Cleaner Xaldin and casino owner Luxord AU

[slimealiens]

a sparkledog i did for an irl pal's bday! (i can't BELIEVE i haven't drawn one until now tbh) also i keep forgetting to post my art here and not just on my art twt woops

[deactivatinkbabe]

man I don’t post here at all but my baker boy Warren!

[bloopbyoop]

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!! 

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe. 

x :D

[chonideno]

i’m a new writer on ao3 and i’ve been feeling a little discouraged. i was wondering, did it take you long to get where you are in terms of popularity and skill? and do you have any tips for new writers?

Hi! I hope you understand how hard of a question it is to answer, though I’m not blaming you at all, [grandma voice] I was the same at your age. Writing is hard, and understanding what makes good writing is hard, and understanding what makes your writing good is hard. Nothing I can tell you will sound new to you - write for yourself, be patient, have fun, popularity is overrated, yada yada yada. 

This being said, there are lessons I keep having to re-learn every 3 months or so. I’ve been writing fanfiction for too many years and I still forget some lessons - not that the words disappear from my memory, but there are some things you only learn through experience and I tend to forget them every so often, until I go through yet another learning experience. Here’s a list of things I wish I was prepared to learn when I started:

don’t be afraid of being bad. I know, you don’t want to be bad, that’s why you’re asking about how to get better, and how much time it takes to be popular. But being bad is the foundation of your experience. We all started as terrible writers, and some of us are still there after years of practice - and it’s fine! You have to truly be okay with the idea that you’re going to suck, too! And no amount of experience will ever protect you from that. Being bad happens to everyone, and it’s great. Your writing is going to suck - and what about it? Your writing is going to be terrible, and? What is anyone going to do about it, if you want to shove it into their faces? Nothing, that’s what. The more you write, the less often these moments will happen (but as I said earlier, they still will  happen, and they’ll still sting like hell) so keep at it. Don’t be afraid to be the worst at writing, because if you don’t get this stinky stuff out of your system you’ll never get to the good part.

grieve your Ideas. It’s not the first time I mention it I think, but try a thing: think of your Idea right now, your beautiful prefect story that is just waiting for you to write it down, and it has all of these incredible scenes and this intensity and this emotion and it’s going to be great - now let it go. Your Idea with a capital I is a mirage. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never get 100% there. You can get real close, and that’s where the satisfaction lies, the farthest you go from your outline and the closest you get to the Idea, the better your fic. But perfection is unattainable. The finished product will not be a copy of that Idea you had in your head - worse! The finished product will look nothing like your Idea to your readers, who are not in your head, and it also won’t look like what you think it looks like. Because, and that’s very important, writing is a product of 1) the person who lays its eyes on it (whether it’s the author or the reader) and 2) your writing style and what influences it, the Muse, the Spark, the Whatever people like to chase. No story will look alike to different people. So forget about your Idea - it’s never getting born. It’ll have a cousin, so get ready to love this one instead.

learn about your content creation cycle, and be patient with yourself. You will never be a perfect machine. Writing blocks will happen. Every so often I feel like that’s it, that’s the last fic I was ever going to write, and these feelings are sincere and true. I truly believe it to my core. And then writing happens again, and woops, there I go posting another fic. It’s a pattern. It happens. I answered asks about this here, here and here. Be patient. Learn about your own creation process. You’re not your own enemy.

popularity is, ultimately, meaningless. I know how this sounds, but please bear with me here. Popularity is not correlated with quality in any way. It is valid to chase popularity, but you have to do it separately from other goals. You can’t think “I’m going to write a really beautiful fic and it’ll become popular” because there’s no guarantee it will. You can’t think “I’m going to pour all of my emotions in it so it’ll be raw and people are going to love it” because that’d be wrong again. Popularity is a function of timing, marketing skills, what’s currently trendy in your fandom niche and dumb luck. Some of my fics did high numbers, but I have no idea what led them to do that. I’d even argue that between these few fics, not two got a lot of hits for the same reason. Most of the fics I have written over the years have not made a ripple, and I will, inevitably, disappear from everyone’s radar soon. And what is popularity anyway? Hits? Kudos? Kudos/hits ratio? Digging in the numbers depresses me. You want to be known, this much I understand, but I was on this pedestal for a bit and yeah, I’ll admit it’s nice, but if you don’t enjoy your writing or if you don’t like your own output, none of it will make sense, and it’ll only slow down your progress as a writer.

it’s all about you. It’s really all about you. In many ways. You must want to write what you write. You must write for yourself first, and a love letter to a character or a trope is a good way to do that. You should write what you know - not the situations you know, but the emotions you know, the sentimental truth (if it applies to what you write at least - pwp probably doesn’t need it lmao). You might look back on your previous works and think “wow, this is literally about me”. It’s okay to be self-obsessed in writing and art in general. Who else is gonna do that for you?

you don’t need to fit a mold. I know the temptation is great, especially if you’re starting and you’re trying to figure out what people like so you can make a name for yourself or something, but you truly, truly don’t have to write things you don’t like. there are different types of writers, and you might change types over time as well.This Kind Of Writing is real popular but doesn’t fit you? Then don’t write it. Don’t force yourself to write things just because you think people will like it, it will truly not help. At best you’ll end up confused about what you want out of your writing, at worst it’ll disgust you from writing for a time. I have to re-learn this lesson over and over, and every time it rings more true: write what you want. If it’s horrible poetry, do it. If it’s the next 500k sci-fi reincarnation soulmates enemies to friends to lovers au, do it. If it’s sharp one-shots, or mindless porn, or studies of family dynamics, or one-dimensional fluff, do it. You don’t have to reach imaginary standards either - remember, you have the right to suck by anyone’s standards! You can be the most stereotypical ooc coffee shop au author ever, or write chat fics, or indulge in character x reader fics, and what are people going to do about it? Break into your house and steal your keyboard? No!! They’re gonna do nothing!! No amount of joking about these kinds of writing has the power to stop you!! You want to pretend you’re the next literature Nobel and you’re going to revolutionize prose? Do it! Wherever you fall on the spectrum, take what is rightfully yours. And if you don’t know where to go yet, gosh how I wish I were you - the world is your oyster, so try! Read, and think, and scribble and plot and delete half of what you’ve written, experiment, figure out what makes you tingle, what’s your style, what’s your favorite tropes and genres. You can always let go and change. You have a universe of possibilities ahead of you, and don’t let things like popularity hold you back! I’m really excited to hear you’re starting. It’s all adventure from now on.

Sometimes it’s not that deep, but sometimes it truly is.

So I’ve been writing fanfic for 7 years even though I took 1.5 years of hiatus, dropped a fic then stopped writing for another 8 months, I’ve written 21 fics for 3 fandoms, I’ve been invisible and popular and right in the middle and I don’t know how to make popularity happen, and I don’t know how to get better as a writer - I don’t even know if my writing has improved in any way. All I know is that my experience as a writer has improved. I know what I’m doing now. I know what I want. It’ll happen to you too.

[corvyd]

woops, i keep forgetting to post art here. anyway, doin blades in the dark stuff so here’s my leech bastard

[ask-smol-ji-blog]

hahahahaa

ME EXPLAINING STUFF UNDERNEATH (probably a lot of typos because it’s like fucking late at night) AND AN IMPORTANT QUESTION ABOUT MY BLOG AT THE END HAHA 

i am suffering lamo. no ok seriouse ehm. i having a lot of problems lately an d i trynna forget like being with friends and do art when i feel like it or more like i force myself some few times haha but yeah ehm i keep. shifting between “wOW THIS IS AMAZING I CAN DO IT I BELIVE IN MYSELF OOP WOOP” and “holy shit i should actually just ctrl + z my blogs and life lmao i will never get any further” i know it a normal thing but still haha. ehm i am pretty unsure with how i do art and liek i said from the very begining of this blog. the art will shift nearly between everyd damn post haha and i will have days where i don’t do art for the blog 

i am really sorry for the fuss aaah qwq i am just desperat to make myself better as fast as possible 

BUT!! IF ANY OF YA IS INTERESTED OF MY SCHOOL SKETCHES AND OTHER LINE ART AND EVEN COLOURED ART I DO BESIDE GUANG HONG AND STUFF SINCE I DRAW A LOT DIFFERENT ON PAPER THAN ON MY TABLET SO. TELL ME IN THE INBOX OR HERE?