#I learned a fun fact while researching this. There's another older symbol like this one: The International Symbol of Access

[johnnyshrine]

★ 178 // “Accessible Icon”

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Big C help I rediscovered my childhood favorite YouTube channel (Minecraft Five Nights at Freddy’s) and now I think the old hyperfixation just caught me in a headlock.

https://youtu.be/rseMJR-RTMA?si=scx2M0-F8LyUjxgh

Anyways! Fun fact about me! My first introduction to the queer community was… very unfortunately gacha heat. Young me’s mind was blown now that gay people existed and I decided that I was in fact, a bisexual. (I was not bisexual) And then years later I realized that I was a gay transman who didn’t realize it earlier despite the fact I would tuck my hair into my dinosaur hoodie and take off my glasses and deepen my little girl voice and be a new student named ‘Alex’. Kinda funny how I didn’t realize it for a while.

got anything that was painfully obvious about yourself when you were not yet Big C but instead, Little C?

also my favorite songs from that time because I really liked gacha and creepypasta

Another little tidbit: I learned about Better off dead by sleeping with sirens and Teenagers by MCR from Emo radio on Pandora because I was an edgy little shit with my little plastic knife and creepypasta obsession. At some point I even drew the operator symbol on the hoodie I used to ‘pretend’ to be a boy in.

ya boy, who has no regrets of his time being and IPad kid, Ting.

Hellooo.

...

Hah! How have I not seen this before? Bonkers stuff.

I don't know what that is, but... my condolences? Glad you figured it out eventually!

Little C... pfft. I guess the insomnia? Never was treated for it as a kid. Didn't realize that everyone else slept through the nights. I should've, though. Whenever Jimmy stayed over or I was sharing a room with Lise, they'd fall asleep before me and usually wake up after. I figured that they were the odd ones. Always wondered why I was so tired while everyone else was fine...

When we were older, Jimmy offhandedly called me an insomniac one time. I asked what he was talking about. He laughed because he thought I was joking. I was not. But suddenly everything made a lot more sense. I did a bit of research, but most of what's online is for insomnia spells that last a few months or something like that. Not too helpful. The example I found that's closest to my thing stopped being an official disorder a long time ago. But what can you do?

...This first one's... awfully sad. Oddly upbeat considering the material. I don't hate it though.

Same for this one. Jeez.

What kinda teenagers do you know?? Hah.

Afraid I don't know what most of that means. Glad you've got no regrets about it though! Talk soon, Ting.

[rusakkowrites]

Good morning!

For the fic writer ask game, I'd love to know:

5, 8 (Aunts and Uncles), 10, 11, 15, 17, 23, 28 and 32

:)

Yay, thanks for the ask! <3 This turned out really long, so I'll put it under a cut.

5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic?

Ooh, I've learned all kinds of things, from fun facts about flower symbolism to what was typically served at a wedding breakfast in Regency England. However, I think the most interesting fic to do research for has been Not Quite So Trifling. Since it involves a character contracting polio, I needed to find out what people would have known about the disease in Jane Austen's time and how they might have tried to treat it. Reading the first clinical description of polio was fascinating. For example, the author noted that cases of paralytic polio were less common in London than elsewhere (which makes total sense, since the paralytic form of the disease is more common in older children and adults, and the poor sanitary conditions in London would have ensured that almost all children were exposed to the polio virus at a very young age).

8. What is your favorite line/section from Aunts and Uncles?

It's a tough choice! I had lots of fun writing the awkward conversations with little John Knightley and the bickering between him and Henry, but I still think I have to pick this part:

Mr Knightley, meanwhile, walked over to the window, but apparently dissatisfied with the view, immediately turned on his heel and stalked over to the fireplace. There, he stood for a moment as if in deep contemplation of the flames – only to turn back towards the room again and say abruptly: “Emma, do you think it so entirely impossible a notion?”

Emma, who had been observing his movements with increasing puzzlement, was rather taken aback by his peculiar manner. His gaze was fixed on her countenance, but she could not interpret his expression.

“What notion?” she asked.

“That you and I should marry.”

I'm pretty sure that this was the scene that sparked the entire idea of this fic (along with the notion that the children would act as catalysts), and I'm very pleased with the way it turned out.

10. Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet?

I'd love to explore the perspectives of side characters more! I love fics that are from an outsider's point of view, so it would be really fun to write a little story exploring what Miss Bates noticed (or didn't notice) of the Emma/Knightley romance or what Mary or Kitty made of Elizabeth and Darcy's turbulent courtship.

11. What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion?

This in another tough one. I feel like I have several different definitions depending on how I look at the question.

For me personally, actually managing to write a fic from start to finish is a pretty big success in itself. I'm a slow writer and I also abandon quite a lot of fics in the outline or WIP stage, so getting a story to the point where it's written, edited and ready to post is already an achievement.

Another sign of success is that the fic turned out the way I wanted it to – that I feel that it conveys something of the images and ideas that I've been picturing in my mind. In other words, if I'm happy with how my story turned out, that's something to celebrate.

Then, of course, there's reader response. I try not to pay too much attention to the numbers, but some fics do attract more readers and receive a more enthusiastic response than others. I feel like the key thing here is how the reader response compares to my general expectations for the fandom, ship, trope, etc. For example, I consider So Happy a Summer to be one of my most successful fics because I honestly expected it to be met with crickets and/or hate comments, and the positive response it got was a really pleasant surprise.

15. Does anyone you know in real life know you write fanfiction?

Yeah, quite a few of my close friends and family members know. It's not something I talk about a whole lot because most of the people I know IRL aren't really involved in fandom, but it's not a huge secret or anything. One of my younger siblings does read fic, though, and they're subscribed to me on AO3, which is kind of cute.

17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

I think my latest couple of fics turned out particularly well on the comedy front. It always feels really good when I'm not the only one laughing at my jokes!

23. What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

I've recently been toying around with the idea of a fic in which Emma figures out her feelings for Mr Knightley before he figures out his feelings for her. This, of course, leads to all kinds of horribly embarrassing hijinks, and Emma ultimately has to confess her crush to a very surprised (but not displeased) Mr Knightley. I don't have a proper plot figured out yet, though, so we'll see if anything comes of it.

28. What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

Content warning: mentions of noncon/dubcon.

I think I've briefly mentioned the probably-never-to-be finished P&P Animorphs AU in some previous ask response? Anyway, my angstiest fic idea ever is an alternate version of that AU, in which Elizabeth is infested by a Yeerk before travelling to Rosings. The Yeerk, seeing Darcy's wealth and status as a golden opportunity, forces Elizabeth to accept his proposal and then acts like the perfect, infatuated wife while she screams inside. Darcy eventually also ends up with a Yeerk in his head, and to make things even worse, then discovers that his wife actually hates him and has been forced to marry him, have sex with him, and so on. They eventually manage to get rid of the Yeerks somehow and join the resistance, but they then have a very long road of healing and reconciliation ahead of them.

I doubt I'll ever write this fic because the angst level is way beyond what I typically enjoy writing and because I'm not confident that I'd have the skill to handle the heavy themes (such as the dubcon/noncon aspects) as well as they deserve to be handled. However, I do think it's a pretty interesting fic concept in theory.

32. A character you enjoy making suffer.

Emma! Give her all the embarrassment! (And then a happy ending, of course.)

[shannonmnart]

Virtual Sketchbook 1

Introductions/First Artworks

Hello everyone, for my fact about myself I'd like to share that I am someone with a personal interest in history and how historical events translate into art. I also love learning about the different cultural backgrounds that influenced artists like Frida Kahlo and Van Gogh. I was assigned number 10, which is Jean-Honoré Fragonard’s “The Swing”, a timeless and culturally relevant artwork despite its dated origin in 1767. In my research I discovered five new facts about this painting and its painter.

The painting began as a commission from a French gentleman of the court who wanted to depict himself admiring his mistress being pushed on a swing (Bruckbauer).

Playful works such as these were frequently commissioned by the elite that Fragonard served. They would be displayed in intimate settings.

In contrast to popular historical works of the era, The Swing greatly subverted societal norms  for personal interests.

Jean-Honoré Fragonard had an illustrious career as a painter for some of the wealthiest people in France just before the French Revolution.

The Swing today lives in London amongst somewhat contrasting religious depictions of angels and leisure.

   My initial impression of this artwork has greatly changed since the first time I looked at it, now knowing the intimate details of how this piece was intended to be used has altered my perspective the most. I have seen The Swing many times in other references depicting different characters in the same pose as the focal point of the painting. For the first time admittedly, in the first Frozen movie as a kid. Which is slightly mind-boggling because it originated as a private commission that playfully challenged cultural norms while remaining hyper-feminine and aesthetically pleasing to the eye. A tradition consistent in many of Fragonard’s works. Despite its critiques as a symbol of the moral decay of the French aristocracy, The Swing and similar artworks saw rampant popularity during the eighteenth century (Bruckbauer). I never used to deeply look into the expressions of people in paintings until I got older and could understand things with more context. With my most recent observation of The Swing, I couldn’t help but notice the theatrical presentation of the men fawning over the subject of this piece. One of which is hoisting the woman in the air, and the other underneath the lady admiring her with his arms stretched almost like that depiction of The Creation of Adam.

Bruckbauer, Dr. Ashley. “Jean-Honoré Fragonard, The Swing,” Smarthistory, Feb 26 2021, https://smarthistory.org/jean-honore-fragonard-the-swing/

2. Art and Writing

In 2020 I lost my friend to suicide as a sophomore in high school, and would unknowingly loose my dad to the same issue the following year. After my friend passed, a local artist and old family friend of my mom's named Brandon Thrift (artbybrandonthrift on instagram) gave me this canvas painting and another larger piece to give to my friend's family. The artwork, which says "You Are Loved" in acrylic paint on top of Thrift's signature paint splatters is a vibrant and beautiful reminder of those I have lost. Not only is it a reminder but also a conversation starter that reinforces the importance of mental health.

3. Writing a Self-Portrait

I am 19 years old and identify as a female. I am from South Florida, born in Fort Myers and raised in Bradenton/Sarasota. For fun I read, journal, bake, and create art that rarely sees the light of day. I also like scary movies but only with my boyfriend. I am a member of the Literary Guild at SCF though I am admittedly not very involved. For work I take care of my disabled brother and babysit kids of really any age. I am uniquely myself because of my life experiences and what I have overcome at my age. I am passionate about individualism and breaking generational cycles.

4. Art Project (Self Portrait)

For my self portrait I decided to put my likeness next to my dad's, using his military ID photo at roughly the same age as me. I chose to stipple this drawing with pen because it is my favorite medium although time consuming. For me this is representative of myself because my father and I have always had very similar features and I have been told I looked like him for as long as I can remember. As I get older, I feel a need to make something more positive out of what he accomplished while here.

[bbq-hawks-wings]

If your interested, I also mentioned that Apollo was the god of oracles and prophecy. And there was that prophecy about Endeavor bringing everyone's demise in the form of Dabi :) even if he wasn't mentioned by name, we know he's the 'darkness' Endeavor's light will summon. And to fit in with that more, Dabi killing Endeavor will erase him from the narrative, which is like the dreams he was having.

(Continued) If Dabi = Apollo, and to Apollo, Hawks were his messenger birds then hmm whatdya think? *nudge nudge* He! Knows! The! Thing! Horikoshi is probably mixing a lot of stories. Someone once wrote that Icarus fell all the way down to Tartarus, but I can't find any source for that. We know he drowned at sea, but is there anything written on what happened after in detail or is that it? I'd also like to mention, while we're on the topic of myths.

(Continuing) Hawks' eyes are similar to the eyes of Horus/Ra are they not? His eyes are a big deal in the manga, and Ra is known as 'The Hidden One' Now we know Hawks is always hiding himself behind his feathers, there's at least three specific panels of him doing that. The MOST INTERESTING part is that Ra has many names, and one is secret, because knowing that would mean having power over him. (Applies to Dabi too in a way tbh.) but! We're thinking of Keigo Takami here ;)

(Last part) And Dabi held the power over him when he shouted it out and made Hawks lose his cool there. Bonus: Horus lost his left eye in a war with Set, and Dabi's foot was on Hawks' left eye and burned it. - anon from Foxy's tags.

I am VERY interested in the extended/multiple myth angle, particularly in regards to Hawks, Foxy anon. (Thanks for dropping by to talk, btw.) I've read everything over that you've sent, and if it's okay, I'd like to review your thoughts and chime in at the end with my own. I'm going to do it under the cut, though, because this is going to get long. Lol

I absolutely agree with you that Dabi is likely either a front-runner or the main agent of darkness summoned by Endeavor's light. The concept of the prophecy was introduced in canon, and I don't doubt Horikoshi plans to explicitly bring it up again. Considering Dabi's supposed dark connections to Endeavor's past he's a prime candidate to knock Endeavor out of the sky. When you combine this with the fact that Dabi's hair is black while Touya's appears to be snow white with the character for "light" spelled out in his name, it's hard to believe Dabi won't have some major role to play in this prophecy. The thematic idea that Apollo/Touya, as this more symbolic role than anything, in the background gives Hawks this prophecy to pass on about the incoming darkness is also not unlikely.

I'm not so sure the Hawks = Horus-Ra angle tracks as cleanly, though. Still, I'll follow your thought process first and give it the benefit of the doubt when discussing it before adding my thoughts. I'll be referring to Horus and Ra as the same entity as from my cursory research they were occasionally combined into the same deity and both share some nominal similarities with Hawks. Please also note Egyptian mythology is not my strong suit, and it has its own complexities I'm unfamiliar with. I'm only working with what I know and can research on the surface.

The note about his eyes are fascinating considering the fact that the Eye of Horus and the Eye of Ra are both major, destinct parts of the Egyptian mythology as well as having their own separate symbolic meanings and power - The right Eye of Ra representing the sun and having associations with aggression and destruction while the left Eye of Horus, representing the moon, was associated with healing, sacrifice, protection and wisdom - even being referred to as "the all-seeing eye."

Yet as potentially rich and interesting this angle is, I'm not entirely sure it's close enough to canon to stick.

My first objection starts with his proposed equivalence to Ra who is considered king of the gods and creator of all things as well as the personification of the sun itself. Imo, this is just too lofty of a position to accurately attribute to Hawks. Despite losing the sweet "bird of prey" aesthetic, I think Thoth would probably be a better fit as the god of the moon and writing, particularly as he restores the Eye of Horus. There's also the issue of which eye is burned and the significance of them - seeing as Hawks' left eye was burned, which according to this theory would be the Eye of Horus, it would make more sense for this to read as Hawks losing his motivation to work for those more selfless, positive qualities that up to this point have defined his character and leave only the Eye of Ra, the more destructive and violent tendencies, to reign unless some other character embodying Thoth restored it for him.

This premise of the right and left eyes on its own is positively dope and has a Shonen series begging to be made of it. However, I find it too far removed from the proven inspiration of HeroAca so far to be much more than a neat thought exercise for our purposes today. At least for the moment it would make sense to stick closer to the Greco-Roman angle we have at the moment, especially considering how closely tied together Dabi, Endeavor, and Hawks canonically are. If the Icarus story is meant to be the case as well and we wanted to flesh out Hawks individually more, I could see an angle that keeps the bird motif as well as the consequences of Daedalus/Endeavor's hubris directly impacting him as well.

Nevertheless, with the Egyptian aspect set to the side for now and sticking to our speculation around the Icarus myth for the moment, I'd like to posit that if Horikoshi is actually intending to take the larger mythos around Daedalus to explain the dynamics of these characters Hawks will be playing the role of one or two myths outside of merely acting as Dabi/Icarus' tattered wings. It requires some creative liberties to work; but nothing I'd consider too outside the realm of reason to break it.

Long before the tower, and even the birth of Icarus himself, Daedalus had an apprentice - either Talos or Perdix depending on the source. This apprentice was brilliant - even more so than Daedalus himself - and looked up to him to emulate him in his admiration of him. Though in this myth Daedalus commits the upcoming crime himself out of jealousy of his apprentice, if we tweaked it to mean "due to Daedalus' jealousy, Talos/Perdix was pushed out of a tower to his demise" the angle still works depending on the direction the manga takes. Athena - goddess of wisdom, and interesting in the context of HeroAca, the clever, noble, and positive aspect of war - looked on Talos/Perdix with favor and before he could be killed by the fall was transformed into a partridge who, remembering his past life, never soared or climbed to high places again and only nests close to the ground.

Like the other roles it's a stretch, and we really don't have enough canon material to work with to prove it either way, but a couple of notes in particular gives this theory enough merit for me to keep tucked in the back of my head as we go on.

A more direct, cause and effect relationship with Endeavor should he actually be playing the role of Daedalus.

The specific note of admiration and subsequent betrayal leading to the younger's downfall due to the previously unknown envy of the older.

If this myth pertains to events that have already happened in the manga (i.e. the fall of Talos/Perdix was Hawks' "adoption" by the HPSC) the low-dwelling partridge transformation fits not only because of Hawks' humble and wary nature but because of the symbolic blessing of Athena in particular being the catalyst for the change.

If this is meant to be indicative of events that will happen in the future (Hawks' burned wings, the epiphany about Endeavor, etc) it still works whether Hawks gets his wings back or not. In the case he doesn't he will be a grounded bird, though far from useless and still radiant; and if he does it leaves open the opportunity to squeeze in another myth - that of the Phoenix - instead of the partridge which ties in much more strongly with the theme of transformation and rebirth while keeping with the bird motif as well as ties in Endeavor's personal trademark of fire. This second ending also has the potential to work thematically whether Hawks forgives Endeavor or not depending on the interpretation - the Phoenix rises again reborn despite the fire, or the fire itself gives the Phoenix new life to soar again.

In this case, both Perdix and Icarus fall from high towers due to Daedalus' hubris - the first lured there out of false pretense through no fault of his own and the second out of desperation and even mania to escape and live his own life; but notably, while Icarus loses his wings and falls to his doom, Perdix reaches the ground safely and continues on to live on transformed as a new being.

Again, this is all speculation, and Horikoshi can crush our dreams completely with a single chapter release, but the thought experiment is fun even if I wasn't sure every myth brought up quite works with the canon revealed to us so far, and I get the added bonus of learning about new mythologies I might otherwise not have looked into myself.

Thanks for dropping these in my inbox, anon! I know I may have shot down the Egyptian myth part a bit in regards to fitting with canon, but your points make for killer AU potential! Are there any other characters you see as having parallels to Egyptian gods - other AUs I’ve seen have given Dabi the role of Anubis, for example? I'd love to hear more!

[stellarconstellationwrites]

Ghost of the Past

Chapter 1

Wedgeherst was a quaint town; almost as quaint as the neighboring town, Postwick. The two routes that separated the two towns were also tame enough for a few people to live peacefully without being bothered by Pokemon, the regional professor was a prime example of that fact. A five year old Leon was too far gone in his own excitement to listen to his mother's exasperated demands. Sonia had told him that someone was moving into the empty house next door to her and her grandmother, the professor. It was a new person to get to know! A new kid to play with! Hopefully. The purple haired child found himself wondering if the new kid liked Pokemon; if they wanted to be a trainer as badly as he and Sonia did; if they had the same drive of learning about Pokemon that they did.

"Leon," his mother says with a sigh, pulling the five year old out of his childlike reverie of thoughts. The child looked up at his mother expectedly, his large, innocent eyes still brimmed with obvious excitement as his mother held his attention for the moment. "Please be on your best behavior for the Professor."

"Okay, Mum!" said Leon excitedly, an innocent grin on his face. His excitement was followed by a happy cry from the Charmander Leon had got a week prior for his birthday. "I'll see you later, Mum!" 

"Be safe dear!" She called after her son as he ran out of the front door of the house, the small fire-lizard following his trainer. He had so much energy for a five-year-old, Amaya couldn't be any prouder. However, being pregnant with her second child; dealing with her first born's ever existing excitement and endless energy was exhausting for Amaya. Amaya could hear the faint 'I will!' from Leon as she began preparing lunch for Leon, Sonia, and the new child in the neighborhood. 

Leon had met up with Sonia halfway to her house at the end of Route 2, she was just as excited as Leon was. To say the least, being the only two kids in the neighborhood was boring, so their excitement was justified. Sonia's Yamper was walking behind them with Charmander; excited, but nervous cries from the Pokemon could be heard as they made their way through the route. 

"Grandma said that the neighbors are from a region called Kanto," said Sonia, her turquoise eyes shining with a certain curiosity about her new neighbor. "It's far, far away from here."

"Nevermind that, Sonia!" exclaimed Leon, who caused the ginger female and the Pokemon to jump slightly at the sudden loudness of his voice, as he was quiet up to that point. A quiet Leon was oftentimes a dangerous Leon. "Was there a kid there?"

"Yes, Leon," Sonia sighed with a shake of her head, clearly exasperated with her friend. She didn't understand her friend's thought process sometimes. "A kid around our age."

"Boy or girl?"

"Should it matter?"

"Not really," Leon answered as they approached the two houses at the end of Route 2.

Leon was familiar with the Magnolia household as he frequently visited it; the home always gave him a warm feeling, much like his own. The neighboring house, not so much. Despite the house being on the same path that led from Wedgehurst, it always gave the two children a sense of uneasiness as they passed by it each day; and it was to remain unknown to the children as to what caused that sense of dread and uneasiness. With the overgrown weeds, the trees that never seemed to have leaves, no matter the season; the two often speculated that the house was haunted and that it was filled to the brim with super rare ghost Pokemon. Another wild speculation that the two had come up with was that a homeless person lived in the house and eventually died in the house, causing the spirit to be bound to the house. However, the children’s imagination always ran rampant when they found themselves wondering about things they shouldn’t be thinking about. With their Pokemon by their sides, the two hopeful, but scared five year olds steeled their nerves and headed towards the now lived in house.

The Pokemon Moving Company Machoke dutifully did their job as they moved boxes from the moving truck and to the house. The two five year olds looked around for someone human, but not a soul was in sight, despite the door of the house being open. 

"Hello?" Sonia called into the eerily silent house, her voice wavering slightly due to nervousness.

"Marionette, dear, can you see who's at the door?" came a tired female voice from further into the home. It obviously belonged to someone much older than Sonia and Leon, most likely Marionette's mother; whoever she was. Following the voice was the soft pitter pattering of sock covered feet against the wooden floor. Not a moment later, a girl with dark brown hair and matching eyes entered the living room, seemingly from the kitchen. She just looked at Sonia and Leon with a blank expression as a strange puppet-like Pokemon floated over her head. It wouldn't be until much later that week that the duo learned the curious puppet Pokemon was called Shuppet, a Pokemon native to the Hoenn region. "Marionette?"

A second round of soft pitter pattering of feet ensued as an older woman emerged from the staircase on the left of the three children. The woman looked just like the girl, Marionette. Dark brown hair; albeit with graying streaks, dark brown eyes that almost looked black and a fair complexion. "Oh, you must be the neighbor's granddaughter, she did mention she had a granddaughter."

"A-Ah, yes, that's me," Sonia said with a nervous chuckle as she avoided eye contact with the strange girl, her equally strange Pokemon and her mother. It wasn't like Sonia to be this nervous with strangers, Leon noted. "M-My name is Sonia, this is Leon. He lives a couple of towns over."

"I can introduce myself," Leon grumbled, but he still had a smile on his face as the strange girl named Marionette let a small smile peak through her blank expression.

"Go play with the neighbors, Marionette," the woman said as she smiled down at the girl, who nodded. Leon and Sonia took this as a sign to leave the mysterious house with its strange homeowner.

"So your name's Marionette?" Sonia asked as soon as the trio left the formerly abandoned home and began walking along the route. Marionette nodded at this as she looked at the scenery that surrounded her house. The surrounding scenery was certainly brighter compared to the gloominess of the house, that much was obvious. Upon closer inspection, Marionette was far paler than she let on when the duo first met her inside the house; it was like she didn't get an ounce of sunshine. "Is there a nickname you'd like us to call you?"

"What's a nickname?" asked Marionette, who looked confused and curious at the question.

"You don't know what a nickname is?" retorts Leon, who looked bewildered at the statement. Marionette shook her head at this.

"The kids in my hometown were named after colors," Marionette explains softly. It dawned on the two Galar born children that (in their childlike innocence, of course) they wanted to make this sad girl happy. "And my mother always called me by my full name."

"A nickname is a shortened version of your name!" Leon explained in a surprising burst of excitement. The burst caused a surprised squeak to escape Marionette and Sonia to yell at Leon for scaring the poor girl. He ignored Sonia's burst of anger and continued his explanation. "Like you can call me Lee!"

"But your name is already short as is?" Marionette countered questioningly with a tilt of her head. "Why shorten it by a letter?"

"It's a symbol of our friendship," Leon explained as they reached Wedgehurst. The town itself supplied all the traveling trainers needs; a Pokemon Center that held the item shop, the man that taught your Pokemon any forgotten moves, and of course, the ever loving Nurse Joy that looked the exact same in every location. There was also a boutique, of course; for those who enjoyed the change of pace of shopping for clothes.

"You want to be friends with me?" questioned Marionette as the trio made their way to the Pokemon Research Lab.

"Of course we do, silly," says Sonia with a bright smile on her round, childish face. "It'd be lonely to not have any friends, right Leon?"

"Right," says the male in question, who had begun thinking about something. He was quickly pulled out of his thoughts as an imaginary lightbulb went off above his head. "I know! How about we call you Mari? It'd be short for your really long name!"

"Mari, huh?" questioned the ginger female, twisting a short lock of hair in thought. She couldn't help but nod in agreement. "It's short and cute, I like it. I didn't think you could pull off something like a cute nickname, Leon."

"O-Oi, leave me alone, Sonia," Leon whined as a pout began to form on his five year old face. Though he knew Sonia was only poking fun at him, Leon would do the same thing to her in a heartbeat.

"I like it," Marionette softly says, blushing slightly as the two turned to face her, stopping in mid-conversation to smile at her. While the pale girl with the dancing ghost Pokemon didn't talk much, it was obvious that they would become quick friends.

-

The champion of Galar was deep in thought as a certain Dark-type Gym Leader aimlessly followed him in the streets of Hammerlocke. While Piers was glad to see his friend again, the rockstar hates getting lost, especially on one of his rare days off from gym work and recording.

"What's on your mind, mate?" Piers asks, adjusting his leather jacket. Piers might've looked stupid to a lot of people, but the rockstar slash gym leader (an extremely exhausted one at that) was far more perceptive than he let on. "And don't say it's nothing either, your lying abilities are just as shitty as your sense of direction."

"Just thinking about an old friend, is all," answers the champion honestly. Leon could barely remember his childhood after Hop was born, yet the memory he suddenly remembered was in such vivid detail; it was almost like he experienced it yesterday. "Speaking of an old friend, you'll be meeting her today, in fact. Don't worry about it, she's just as weird and creepy as you are."

"I'm not creepy nor am I weird," Piers snaps, a glare forming on his already intimidating face. However, he couldn't keep the glare with the honest grin crossing Leon's face; almost like Piers wasn’t the first person to tell him that. Not the shit eating one Leon usually donned when he was in trouble, but one that actually meant well. "This better not be a waste of my time. I've got better things to be doing."

"Yeah, yeah," Leon says sarcastically with a wave of his hand as he made a sudden stop, which almost causes Piers to bump into the purple haired man at full force if he didn't stop beforehand. "I think this is the right place."

"You think?" questions Piers as he looks at the front of the establishment. They spent the last ten minutes looking for a cafe that some strange girl works at or frequents often. The outside of the cafe itself was quaint enough, it had a few tables and chairs for outdoor lounging and Piers could only imagine what the inside looked like.

"You coming?" Leon asks, pulling the rockstar out his thoughts. The champion was holding the door for the pale male, which causes him to blush and enter the establishment. The inside was rustic with its warm browns, taupes, and creams filling the place. The place honestly reminded Piers of the buildings in Turffield.

"Lee!" came an excited female voice, which pulls the Dark type trainer out of his thoughts. Man, what was up with him and his thoughts today? The female voice seems to cause a strange Pokemon to jump into Leon's arms, causing the said male to laugh in amusement. Why does the Pokemon look like a creepy doll?

"Come on Banette, back to your mother," Leon says with a smile as the Pokemon let out an excited cry before returning to its trainer.

"Geez, I know you're excited to see him, but not in front of so many people, it's embarrassing," the same female voice said, scolding her Pokemon like an actual child. The talking female had long blond hair that was tucked into a black beanie, dark brown, almost black eyes, and extremely fair skin that put Piers' to shame. Almost immediately, Piers could tell that her hair wasn't naturally blond, due to the darker roots peeking out from under her beanie. "Anyways, I'm glad you got here at a decent time. You and your sense of direction is absolutely shit, Leon."

"Only ten minutes late. I think that's a new record," Sonia teases as she looks down at the time on her phone.

"Definitely a new record, I'll say," laughs Nessa as she sipped on her drink.

"I do not get lost," Leon counters with a grin as he leads Piers to sit with them. Not like the rockstar had a choice in the matter, anyways. Raihan, Nessa, and Sonia were all familiar to him, Leon included; so why was the faux blond female the only stranger to him? Piers would certainly remember someone with blond hair and such a unique Pokemon.

"Oh, Piers, this is Marionette," Raihan said as the said girl shyly waved at the rockstar before returning to her conversation with Nessa and Sonia.

"Not going to bother introducing me, eh?" Piers grumbles as he rests his chin on the palm of his hand, seemingly bored. He was ready to go home and be productive, not. Piers would have wasted his day away, sleeping, if Leon hadn't barged into his home in Spikemuth at 8:30 that morning.

"She already knows who you are, dumbass," Raihan sighs with a shake of his head.

"Not only is she a big fan of your music, but she also used to be a gym leader," Leon was the one to speak this time, causing Piers to look at him curiously, indicating for the champion to continue. "Stow-on-Side Gym to be exact. She retired a few months ago, though."

"Quit acting like I'm not here," Marionette retorts sarcastically as she turns in her chair to face the three men, who looked like deer caught in headlights. The three women giggled after sharing a knowing look. "I retired from being a gym leader because I wanted to pursue other things. Allister is doing a fine job running the gym, don't you think?"

"I didn't say anything, though," says Piers, a look of bewilderment on his face.

"You didn't have to," the faux blond female states with a small smile on her face. "Your face said it all. Ness, Sonia, would you like to join me for some shopping?" A string of 'hell yeah' and 'obviously,' choruses throughout the small group of females as they got up and waved at the men when they finally left the cafe after getting new drinks for the road.

"Is she always that cryptic?" Piers mutters as he watched the retreating figures of the three females through the window of the cafe, his head now laying on the table. They were a strange group of friends, Piers had to admit. Hell, if Leon and Raihan could befriend Piers, they could befriend someone as strange as Marionette.

"She's been like that since we were kids," Leon says, a frown on his usually bright face. "Marionette predicted the gender of Mum's baby when she was 3 months pregnant with Hop."

"Maybe she said it to fuck with your Mum?" Raihan counters with a nervous chuckle.

"We were five."

"Really?"

"Really," says Leon, sipping on the cup of overly sweet coffee that he had gotten when the two arrived. "There was no way she could've known that my mother was pregnant with Hop. She had just moved here from Kanto."

"She isn't from here?" Piers asks, as he had been quietly listening to the conversation between the two colored males. "But her accent."

"It's fake for the most part, yeah?" Raihan hums to himself, causing Leon to nod. "I wouldn't know, though. I only met her a couple of months ago."

"Where at?" Piers asks, humming slightly in interest. He didn't bother picking up his head, as he found himself comfortable.

"We met through Nessa, though," Raihan says with a matching hum. He has a distant look on his face, which looks odd on Raihan's usually cocky features. "Marionette said she participated in the Gym Challenge ten years ago. Which is strange, because I would remember seeing someone as unique as her."

[ducktracy]

148. the coo-coo nut grove (1936)

release date: november 28th, 1936

series: merrie melodies

director: friz freleng

starring: peter lind hayes (ben birdie), bernice hansell (dionne quintuplets), tedd pierce (w.c. squeals), danny webb (walter windpipe), the rhythmettes, verna dean (additional voices)

the cartoon that caused katherine hepburn to watch it 4 times and clark gable twice. an amalgamation of celebrity caricatures, designs courtesy of the great t. hee. see laurel and hardy share a drink, clark gable flap his ears to the beat of edna may oliver’s dancing, w.c. fields (squeals) flirt with katherine heartburn hepburn, and so on.

a parody of the famed hollywood nightclub the cocoanut grove, we open to a beautiful overlayed pan of the coo-coo nut grove, a nightclub literally nestled in a cluster of coconut trees. the backgrounds are wonderfully stylistic and sharp—not quite art deco, but the same “newness” that page miss glory exuded so well. a zoom in reveals that the red blinking neon light advertising the nightclub is lit up by fireflies, an oldie but goodie.

arriving to the nightclub itself, we iris in on ben birdie, a caricature of radio personality ben bernie. while he’s giving his trademark catchphrases such as “yowza!”, a mouse caricature of journalist walter winchell pops out of a tuba, holding out a scallion for birdie. “flash! an orchid for you, old mousetrap, from your old pal walter windpipe!” birdie takes care of the pest by blowing into the mouthpiece of the tuba, propelling windpipe across the nightclub. bernie and winchell had a good relationship off the set, but assumed the rules of enemies on bernie’s show. side note, danny webb voices the winchell mouse—he’d go on to provide some background voices for a few 30s shorts, as well as voicing egghead (actually egghead, not elmer!) in daffy duck and egghead.

while birdie comments that it’s an ill wind, an ill wind, yowza, we get a good look of the patrons in the crowd. comedian hugh hubert is the first celebrity, who giggles and claps, bashfully averting his gaze. as a daffy duck aficionado, i owe a lot to hubert—he’s the one they voiced daffy’s trademark laugh after. thanks, hugh! the table next to him features w.c. squeals and katherine “heartburn” (an obvious play on hepburn.) squeals admires what a beautiful hand she has, promoting her to repeat the boulevardier from the bronx cackle bashfully before glaring at him in disgust. the laugh is more fitting as a horse, for sure! hepburn would be subject to MANY, MANY references in looney tunes shorts, primarily by tex avery. every time you hear a woman say something like “really it is,” that’s a hepburn impression.

next table over features a crotchety ned sparks, groveling “i go everywhere, i do everything, and i never have any fun.” sparks’ shtick was always playing a miserable, deadpan character. pan up to the coconut treetops (these backgrounds are absolutely gorgeous), where johnny weissmuller is pouring his wife and vedette lupe vélez a glass of wine. i love the bow tie tacked on to his tarzan garb, wonderfully tacky. instead of offering the glass, weissmuller downs it all in one go, beating his chest and doing the tarzan yell that buddy did in buddy of the apes. how i don’t miss you! i’m sure it’s implied, but weissmuller was the original tarzan. even more interesting, he was a gold medal olympic swimmer back in the 20s.

ben birdie introduces “the profile of profiling”, and thus sparks this lovely gag of john barrymore walking through the nightclub, his head at profile. no matter which way his body turns, his head is always at profile. eventually, his head is turned 180 degrees backwards as he sits down at a table. if you look him up, you’ll find that many of his headshots are profiles.

elsewhere, we spot a panicked woman running from some unknown threat. her face is concealed, so we’re unaware as to what caricature she is, but we DO know her pursuer: a bird caricature of harpo marx, galloping behind her and honking a horn. his hat opens to reveal an extending stop sign, and harpo pretends to pull the brakes. the sign switches to go, and harpo shifts back into gear, resuming his galloping routine. the animation is flighty, loose, hilarious, and ridiculous.

back to ben birdie, who moves things along. “and now, let us indulge to a bit of the light fantastic, etcetera, etcetera.” almost immediately, a crowd of couples get up to dance. it seems to me that the animation was reused from another freleng cartoon, i’m a big shot now. cut to another couple in particular, a turtle george arliss and bird mae west. a great pair, seeing as mae west was essentially a sex symbol, and george arliss was much older, being 68 as of 1936. very smooth and fun animation, topped off with west affirming “keep up the good work.”

another warner bros favorite to caricature—laurel and hardy. if my memory serves me correctly, this is the first time we see hardy caricatured as a pig. in many a cartoon, he’d be portrayed as such, often mimicked by porky. these include (but are not limited to) the case of the stuttering pig, you ought to be in pictures (a freleng classic), and the timid toreador. hardy grabs a coconut and signals for laurel to share. they both put their straws in the coconut and drink, and essentially swap themselves. hardy substantially loses weight and turns into laurel, whereas laurel gains substantial weight and turns into hardy. very clever.

the next act features edna may oliver, who does an elaborate dance routine to “the lady in red”. clark gable in the audience is particularly entranced, flapping his ears to the music (another gable caricature staple.) leon schlesinger himself said after the cartoon’s release, “gable [came to see the film] at least twice, mesmerized by the rhythmic waving of his own ears. that ought to answer any questions about can hollywood stars take it.” schlesinger kept close tabs on who came to see his films, which only makes sense: he worked at chicago’s colonial theater in 1908, keeping an autograph book of all the stars who would happen to visit. during oliver’s dance number, a lanky, rubber hose limbed gary cooper struts through the nightclub, doing his walk that he would feature in many of his cartoons. a trio of monkeys observe from the treetops, one of them declaring “he’s pixilated!”

next dance number is none other than the dionne quintuplets, voiced by (who else?) berneice hansell, singing a medley of “our old man” and “what’s the matter with father”. hansell’s voice talents are lovely and hilarious as always, and there’s a great little dance interlude as the quints turn around and tap their feet with their butts in the air. just in case you forgot they were babies! by this time, the quintuplets, only 2 years old, already had a movie made about them in early 1936 called “the country doctor”.

back to johnny weissmuller and lupe vélez, who are applauding the act from the treetops. a great scene as weissmuller spots a mouse skittering right by their table and shrieks. the great, mighty tarzan faints at the sight, and vélez instead does her own tarzan cry, grabbing her cowardly husband and swinging across a vine as the mouse skitters under the table.

back to the mysterious running woman pursued by harpo marx. harpo tackles her, and the woman finally reveals herself to be none other than groucho marx! this gag would be much more notably reused in tex avery’s *hollywood steps out, with clark gable pursuing groucho instead of harpo. i like the inclusion of harpo, it makes the reveal all the more disturbing. harpo, appalled, dashes out of the nightclub while groucho grins.

the next scene is a more somber mood. teardrops rain on the grass, and a slow pan reveals a tearful helen morgan singing “the little things you used to do”, perched on a piano and wringing a handkerchief. the animation is quite good, with lots subtle head tilts. wallace beery is particularly moved by the music. so moved, in fact, that he grabs a nearby banana hanging from a bunch, squirts out a line on a butter knife like a line of toothpaste, and shoves the knife in his mouth to cope with his heart strings being pulled. harpo marx is also moved, using a windshield wiper from his multipurpose hat to wipe away his tears. edward g. robinson and george raft aren’t particularly moved, chuffing on a cigar and flipping a coin respectively. that is, until, they both break down in sobs and embrace each other—a great mood change and great way to totally shatter the “tough guy” act. i believe raft was also caricatured in ali-baba bound as flipping a coin with his foot (eugh).

now, the nightclub is totally afloat, caricatures sitting on their tables as the ground is submerged in tears. slowly, the tables begin to drift away in the current, with the george arliss turtle rowing along, using his shell as a boat. and with that, ben birdie signs off.

while this cartoon is dated, sure, i think it’s a cartoon you can enjoy, regardless if you understand the references or not. i certainly didn’t know a good 35% of the caricatures, and had to look them up. but i truly believe that’s part of the fun of it though, and that’s why i love these caricature-centric shorts. you get to explore and really get hands on, you get to research, you get to learn something new. i sure didn’t know that george arliss was born in 1868, and i find that fascinating! i didn’t know that ben bernie and walter winchell played enemies on bernie’s show, but now i do. it’s fascinating! and that’s in part why i love doing these reviews. no matter what, there is always something new to learn. and besides, if anything, you can laugh and admire how the caricatures are drawn, and the backgrounds are just superb. this is definitely a visual centric cartoon, and it constitutes a watch for that alone. i prefer hollywood steps out myself, but this is a good entry, especially for 1936. i say go for it!

link!

[justtheendoftheday]

鬼婆  [Onibaba] (1964)

“What do you do for food? You don’t seem to grow anything. What do you do? ...you steal?”

It’s 14th century Japan during a time of civil war and scarcity called the Nanboku-chō Period.

After her son was conscripted to fight in the war, an older woman and her daughter-in-law have been forced to become murderers and thieves in order to survive. However, when their former neighbor returns after having escaped the war he creates a fracture between the two women. As the pressure between the three of them increases the mother decides to take exceedingly extreme measures to try and keep her family together.

Fright: 1/5  -  Sketchy friends of your kid

There’s a level of spooky campfire-story style creepiness at play throughout. It is a black and white movie from the 60s though, so the creepiness is muted by time. Although if you live near some tall grass or a corn field or something, it might hit home a bit harder.

Gore: 1.2/5  -  Raptor-style Assassinations

Some people are murdered, but the film doesn’t really have any real interest in gore. There’s some stabbings and you see a character with a heavily scarred face, but that’s about it.

Jump Scares: Almost none

There are a handful of small startle moments, but nothing so extreme as a real jump scare.

Thoughts:

In Japanese an “Oni” [鬼]  is a type of supernatural creature that are kind of similar to trolls or ogres. While “Baba” [婆] is a term for an old woman or sometimes more insultingly as a “hag.” So the title of Onibaba is sometimes translated rather literally as “Demon Hag,” which in English is rather harsh and slightly misleading. In Japanese the term “onibaba” has more of a connotation with a cruel or spiteful old woman than a real demon. But seeing as that the film actually does talk a little about oni, I would guess that the title is having a bit of fun with wordplay by sharing both ideas.

Which just goes to show that foreign works can never fully be translated, because the context behind a concept can only be approximated.

Aren’t foreign films fun!

I debated a lot on whether or not this film actually counts as a spooky movie or if it was just an eerie sort of psychological noir drama. And while it doesn’t go in for a lot of the traditional elements of Horror, overall it has this wonderful campfire-story style of creepiness to it that I just can’t ignore.

The story is based on an old Buddhist parable about a mother who tried to use an oni mask to scare her daughter from going to the temple to pray and in turn was punished by Buddha. However, from that premise it is able to create something so much deeper. And you know what? It’s really well done.

The most striking thing about the film for me was that it doesn’t focus on the mask at all. It’s a story about women and (like most horror movies) about survival. And the choice to make the whole thing be about a woman and her daughter-in-law is such an interesting one. The two characters are bound together not by blood or friendship, but through the son Kishi and through time. And when they learn that Kishi is probably dead they have to reevaluate what’s really keeping them together.

If the only reason they stay together is because it takes at least two people to properly rob their victims, then isn’t Hachi just as useful as the mother? Plus he can serve as a romantic partner as well...I mean, you’d have to be awfully thirsty to even consider that option, because he is super gross, but the potential is certainly there.

Although it struck me as terribly odd that the daughter-in-law is so willing to contemplate ditching her mother-in-law in spite of the fact that those two had been surviving together—by themselves—for years. At no point is there ever a real bond or friendship depicted between the two women. Because of this when their relationship begins to fall apart, the mother never appeals to their own personal bond. Which is kind of odd isn’t it? You’d think some sort of relationship or familial love would have been created between them. Since the movie was written/directed by a man in the 1960s I have to wonder if some of this isn’t necessarily thematic, but just a result of a male POV.

And more to that point, I also found it interesting that only the male characters in the film are named. The son is Kishi, the neighbor is Hachi, even the swindling blackmarket operator is named Ushi. But the two women—the two main characters of the movie—are both unnamed. And while it certainly could be an intentional move, I could also see it simply being because the writer/director didn’t consider giving them a specific identity important. After all, Hachi is given more depth of character and backstory than the two women are.

Or maybe it’s all a thematic element attempting to show how women are so often overlooked while simultaneously depicting the hardships they had to go through because the entire nation didn’t care what happened to them…although the lack of relationship between the mother and daughter-in-law seems to be a hard point against that theory…

But what about the corpse hole? The movie opens and ends with the image of this hole that the women use to dispose of their victims corpses. Is that a yonic symbol in the movie? The women are not afraid of it and use it to their advantage, but it is always a dangerous presence to the men in the movie. Hachi himself is shown to be wary of it, because he’s afraid of overlooking it and falling to his death...just like how all these samurai who overlooked these women and met their demise. Talk about some imagery rife for writing a research paper about, amiright?

But who can say? And when it comes down to it, isn’t that half the fun of analyzing fiction?

What can’t be argued is that here is a film where some badass ladies have been outsmarting friggin’ samurai for years! They are super competent and by working together they are able to outplay all the men who are always trying to either fuck them or fuck them over.

There’s a part when Hachi first shows up and he’s bragging about killing some dude and how hard it is and it’s like, Hachi...you complete bag of rocks. Do you not realize who you are talking to? These ladies are twice the killers you could ever hope to be, you doofus. Are you seriously mansplaining murder to them?

The cinematography of the film is really quite interesting and has some shot compositions that I really loved. It’s a really well made film that’s full of interesting themes and ideas. While certainly a slow-paced movie that is unlikely to keep you up at night, it still has a great air of subtle creepiness to it. So while it might not be a great movie to fear-cuddle up with a cutie to, it is a great movie to watch and have a fun intellectual discussion with a cutie about. So cheers to that!

—————————————

Directed by: Kaneto Shindo

Written by: Kaneto Shindo

County of Origin: Japan

Language: Japanese

Setting: Not explicitly stated. [but they filmed in in Japan’s Chiba prefecture]

—————————————

—————————————

Content Warnings: A dog is killed and eaten. In their defense it was a wild dog and food was scarce. But still!

After-credits Scene?: None

—————————————

Context Corner:

The film takes place in 14th century Japan during a time of civil war called the Nanboku-chō Period [The Northern and Southern Courts period] that spanned from 1336 to 1392. And like most civil wars it was more of power battle between bigwigs than it was something a poor farmer gave any shits about. Very long story made somewhat short: the Southern court was where the emperor was based, but the Shogunate (basically the organization of the samurai that was led by the shogun) was based up in the North. So in a power play the Shogunate establishes their own emperor in the North and this leads to war. In the end the North won (thanks military power!), but the Southern emperor got to keep his title. Although now he was really more of an “emperor” because the shogun had all the real power (which is why only 75 years after this war ended, another war [the Onin War] started over who the next shogun would be).

—————————————

“If my son’s dead, she’s all I’ve got! I can’t get along alone. I couldn’t even kill! Take her and I’ll starve!”

[apriceonemotion]

Harries vs. “Sexualizing” Harry

There seems to be an issue within harries on Twitter where there’s a divide in opinions, which happens with most things in this fandom really – with song and suit preferences and sometimes even his personal relationships. But when it comes to fans using his own words against other fans to make them feel bad for feeling a certain way, that’s when it gets a bit more serious. Some fans get really angry and aggressive when it comes to others expressing their sexual attraction to him and it has become a huge issue as it is mentioned almost daily now. When discussing the sexualization of Harry Styles, we need to step back into time to really dig deep into why it’s such a huge issue to some people.

Harry was seen as an actual sex symbol for the beginning and even toward the end of One Direction, as he was painted as the womanizer or the attractive flirt of the group not only by the media but even the One Direction team. In X Factor they made it a huge joke that Harry flirted with every girl that was in the competition and then proceeded to poke fun at how 17 year old Harry was into older women like Caroline Flack. He was being painted into a textbook example of a womanizing player. They used the fact that fans found him sexually attractive to their advantage in marketing, as they made him the face of the group as well as giving him parts in music videos that made him even more attractive to the young audience.

When looking back at that time, you could see multiple articles being made prying into his personal relationships and making him seem as if he has sex with and dates multiple women, all because he was labeled from the very beginning as the flirty one. Whenever he had a relationship, the media was writing his life as a news story.

During this time, fans were young and the idea of idolization from these fans had a fine line between loving these boys as musicians to wanting to actually be with them sexually and/or romantically. Society constantly shames young women for feeling sexual attraction to male artists and demonizes the girls that ever expressed how they feel. Although the attraction these young fans were feeling was used against them in marketing for 1D, there was still a huge divide inside of the fandom at that time of if anyone should be expressing their sexual attraction to the boys.

Fans then and now firmly believe that showing that you are sexually attracted to one of them, that is all you see them as. A lot of this is based on internalized misogyny that young girls have embedded from older generations demonizing young women for being as vocal about sexuality as young men can. I know that most people reading this may be denying that they’re internally misogynistic but in reality, the majority of women feel this way especially in their young teen years since society has still plagued the idea that women should not be sexual beings unless they are the ones being objectified by men.

A sex symbol in the music industry is a person that is seen only for their sexual attractiveness and not their actual talent and musical ability. This term gets thrown around way too often in Twitter arguments, but when you claim that every single fan that made one tweet about being sexually attracted to him is painting him out to be a sex symbol, you are trying to generalize that all fans who see him in that way don’t like him for anything else but that when that’s not even close to being accurate. Seeing someone’s tweet for the first time and assuming that’s all they ever talk about is a stupid thing to do in the first place. Majority of fans that make those tweets do tweet other things, you just don’t care to look.

People are very complex and go from mood to mood over the course of the day. One moment they could be thinking about how attractive Harry is and the things they can imagine, but the next moment they could be talking about how much they appreciate him and his music for what they have done for them in their life. Thinking that women can’t have sexual thoughts and go about their day normally after is again internalized misogyny. Feeling uncomfortable when a woman feels sexual attraction shows that you are just simply uncomfortable with the idea of women being as sexual as men are allowed to be.

However, another point that is always brought up is how Harry was actually a sex symbol once like I stated in the beginning. In his Zane Lowe interview, he was asked how he feels when people only focus on him in that light (sexually), and the quote he gave has been thrown around in a misleading way in order prove that the past years of him being sexualized by media has made him uncomfortable of fans doing the same thing when that’s not even close to being true.

“It’s a very strange dynamic,” he says. “It’s also a weird thing to think of about yourself. The thing about sex in general is, it used to feel so much more taboo, like in the band – the thought of people thinking I had sex was like ‘oh, no, that’s crazy’ like what if they know? But it’s like… y’know. With this record, I wanted to be more free and honest.” He does keep this quite vague, as he always does, which is possibly how it’s been misread and misused. But in this quote, it’s clear that in the beginning of One Direction when he was being shown as a womanizer, he felt very weird about people knowing that he has sex and that he is being seen as a sexual being. He felt very closed off, which was very obvious in that time as he started to have his relationships more private and we as fans did not know much about his personal life. But as he says in the end, it seems as if he is trying to be more open about sexuality with Fine Line, as he feels more free to discuss the subject of sex rather than how taboo it felt in the beginning of being famous.

Nowhere in that quote does he claim that fans finding him sexually attractive is uncomfortable, however, he does state that he feels uncomfortable by being seen only for his looks instead of his talent. Him feeling this way is more rooted from the media making him out to be the good looking player of the band rather than the fact fans found him sexually attractive. It also would stem from people in his life who actually only saw him as an attractive male celebrity and based their support of his career solely on that, not fans on Twitter once in a while tweeting about how attractive he walks.

Blaming an entire fan base on his lack of activity on social media just because a few fans are sexually attracted to him, as well as attempting to make them feel lesser for feeling that way toward him, is actually very damaging. Harry has said himself that social media is bad for his mental health, which research shows that social media is bad for anyone’s mental health as it holds high standards for a good quality of life for a typical human. Putting the blame on fans is basically saying these people on Twitter are the main reason his mental health is bad when he gets online, which is a huge burden to put onto someone as mental health is not something to use against people. You are making it seem that this random person on Twitter is one of the main reasons he doesn’t like social media, when in reality, he probably doesn’t even see it since he doesn’t get online much.

Harry has gone through social media abuse from the media and crazed fans all of his life, most likely more damaging words have been said to him than the ones you are mad at. Viral tweets are made about him that criticize what he wears all of the time, a lot of them are borderline homophobia or even denying the fact that he is as queer as he says he is. People on social media critique his entire life, it’s always been that way since the beginning of 1D. I really doubt that someone giggling about how Watermelon Sugar is clearly about eating a woman out is going to bother him as much as that.

I’ve always been told that Harry would be upset to see the things that people say but we all do not know him personally and he has never said that anyone finding him attractive has made him uncomfortable. I feel like the only thing he may find strange is the idea of himself being attractive to other people, which is more of a personal reflection of himself. The transition of becoming famous and having girls find you attractive must be strange if you have always believed you weren’t. It has nothing to do with ‘thirst tweets’ being made about him.

Now, let’s all keep our internalized misogyny to ourselves and instead learn to accept sexuality in its many forms so you don’t demonize young women for ‘thirst tweeting’ about Harry Styles’ hands.

[michaelgogins]

Reflections on the 2017 Csound Conference

I am now relaxing after the Csound conference, which was very intense. And very rewarding. I feel that I was able both to give, and to receive. I give my profound thanks to Luis Jure and Martin Rocamora, the other organizers of the conference, the staff who made it all happen, and to the Uruguayan institutions who supported the conference with some very nice venues.

One thing that always concerns me about Csound is not the capabilities or the quality of the code, or the quality of the music made with Csound, or the quality of the people in the Csound community. I think these are all rather high. Indeed, that is one motive for my real concern. If this thing is as great as I think it is, then why don’t more people use it?

In his keynote, Steven Yi mentioned some things other musicians say when they learn he uses Csound:

You use Csound?

People still use that?

It’s so old...

Is that the sound of Csound?

I’m a musician, not a programmer.

I will offer my thoughts about these things, which I also have heard, but first I think there needs to be some context regarding electroacoustic music in particular, and art music in general, in our world. 

Art music is music that either is designed just for listening, or that is meaningful when used for just listening. My impression is that our civilization continues to educate people pretty well for the purpose of producing art music (and indeed electroacoustic music). But our civilization does not use this music in the same ways that it used to. The most obvious sign is that, on the one hand, the concert halls are full of grey heads while, on the other hand, the streets and offices are full of people wearing earbuds that place them into their own private bubble of music. It is not even easy to find out, without disturbing the listener by pulling him or her out of that bubble, what they are listening to.

Regarding electroacoustic music, its audience is, as with poetry, mostly the artists themselves. This is a larger and often vibrant bubble, but it is still a bubble. In other words, the world of high art is fragmented and esoteric, and there is no canon that society as a whole pays any real attention to.

I am by no means rendering a purely negative judgment here. There is actually tremendous freedom in this situation. It is easy to get an education, or to teach oneself as I have done, to find a way into one of these bubbles, and lead a productive and rewarding life in it. Above all, what used to be very expensive tools reserved for an elite are now widely available and often even free. This is a great freedom. But it is isolated. And this isolation is undoubtedly a factor in the alienation that passivates us and that will, if unchecked, lead to tyranny.

Now perhaps my responses to Steven’s observations may make more sense. The people asking these questions live in a different bubble than we do, both artistically, and technologically. Their remarks are naive and reflect presuppositions.

You use Csound? This identifies the questioner as being from a different bubble. Nobody they know uses Csound, but other tools with their own mystique, perhaps one formed by advertising.

People still use that? Ditto. The questioner knows what Csound was, but not what it is. There is an awareness that Csound was invented in the age when expensive computers were reserved for an elite, which generates an implicit assumption that this is now overcome by tools that are easier to use and more fun.

It’s so old... Ditto ditto. Again, this reflects the culture of the moment, where only the new is the good, and it implies an eagerness for tools that confer an instant gratification (nothing wrong with that, by the way, as long as it doesn’t preclude other approaches). There is no awareness that if Csound is 30 years old, that means scientists, programmers, and musicians have been adding onto and refining Csound for two or even three generations of artistic and scientific work. Somehow old is good for a city, but not for a software system. The reality is that the basic Music N design by Max Mathews and the translation to elegant C code by Barry Vercoe require, in the fundamentals, no revision, and they provide solid support for extension. The situation is similar with respect to some other software systems such as database servers and languages, symbolic algebra programs such as Mathematica, or the LaTeX computer typesetting system, all born in the same era as Csound and also still going strong. In short, other things being equal, older is actually better; well-designed software systems just keep getting more and more powerful, and Csound has a head start.

Is that the sound of Csound? The questioner assumes that older software will sound inferior to newer software. This of course is simply not (usually) true. A digital oscillator is a digital oscillator; a digital filter is a digital filter. Furthermore the continuous refinement and extension of Csound have brought into it many techniques from research and from other computer music systems. Studio software is made from the same parts, so of course Csound will normally sound as good as the best studio software. But there is more to this. There is another assumption, namely that the user is passive and not able to improve the sounds that come out of the box. The fact is, that with experience, the user is significantly able to improve the sounds that come out of the box, and to invent completely new sounds. But this takes work and thought... more on work and thought below. At any rate, given a little work and thought, Csound will sound better than the best studio software (with some notable exceptions that I will not go into here and that we should address in another place). Some of the pieces in the conference were proof enough of that!

I’m a musician, not a programmer. Actually, I believe this question can be better understood by rewording it. I’m a musician, not a researcher or an inventor. I’m a musician, not a thinker.

To go back to the question of art music, you can’t make art music without thinking. But thinking is painful. So why make art music? This is the real question, the final question. Because I like it. Why make computer music? Because I like it.

Helping more people like art music is a question for another forum. But I do think we can help people who already like art music, or who already like computer music, find out if they like the kind of music that can be made with Csound, and that is what this about.

So, in my view, one productive response to the questions asked of Steven Yi is to make music made with Csound more impressive, more available to musicians, to make it easier for them to see if they like it. The music needs to come out of our bubble and perhaps find a way into other bubbles. How to do this may have many answers, but I propose that part of the answer can be an online system similar to SoundCloud or ShaderToy where Csound users can easily post complete works that will end up being sorted by popularity and other criteria so that the best, or at least the most popular, works will be easily accessible to non-Csound musicians. or even, mirabile dictu, regular people. This can be done using the WebAssembly build of Csound so that what one hears can be rendered live by Csound running in the listener’s browser.

For the sake of those who, like myself, actually wish to make money from music created with Csound, this portal could also perhaps be designed to post soundfiles and/or videos to YouTube, if the musician posting the piece has the required registrations with Google, AdSense, and so on. (I know that CDBaby automatically posts videos of pieces from CDBaby CDs to YouTube; when I went to post some of my pieces to YouTube, I found that CDBaby had already put them there.)

If our music comes out of our bubble, even a little, the software system, Csound, will follow it. And if that happens, new developers will join us.

[germainetrittle86]

Of Buses, Pasalubongs, and Fiestas: My Laguna Years

So while I have been writing much about my childhood memories of Ilocos, a big portion of my youth I have been meaning to write about were my college years in UP Los Banos.

I was only 15 years old when I went to the “distant” campus of UP Los Banos in College, Laguna. When I applied for the UPCAT, we only put Los Banos as an alternative campus upon the advise of my older brother, Manong Snokum, himself a graduate of BS Architecture from UP Diliman. He said at least we had a good back-up plan should I not get accepted for my first choice of Diliman campus. In fact, it was only our eldest brother Manong Butch who was able to get in immediately because he was an NSDB (now NSTA) scholar in BS Mathematics. Manong Snokum had to transfer from UST on his second semester, while both Ate Marie and Ate Annette ended up trying out and qualifying for UP Baguio and UP Manila, respectively.

Like the rest of NCR students, majority of my batchmates in high school tried out for UP. But when the UPCAT results came out, only 12 of us qualified or were wait-listed. I remember my classmates saying, “May isang Leonin na nakapasa e…d lang namin sure which one”, referring to me and my cousin, Edlyn. Meanwhile, like the rest of them, I also covered my bases and applied for other universities and colleges. By that time, I had already passed the entrance tests for CEU, Miriam College, UST, Ateneo and was in the process of applying for St. Paul. But of course, UP IS UP, and I quickly jumped at the chance to go the State University be it in a “faraway” campus.

Fortunately, my Mom soon realized that a second cousin of hers was married to a UPLB professor and was living in Los Banos. She reconnected with Tita Cora Pe Benito and made arrangements for me to stay with them. Later would I find out that Tita Cora’s husband, Tito Ruben Villareal was actually the Dean of the College of Agriculture and was pretty well-known and respected in the UPLB community. My affiliation with them would eventually influence my future in UP Los Banos.

* * * *

Our first visit to Los Banos became one of many regular treks to Laguna. Once I began studying in UP Los Banos, this routine became a cherished day trip for my parents and younger siblings, and a sort of bonding activity too. They would drive me over for the next schooldays after I spent the weekend with them in Manila.

Back then, it would be an easy 2 hour drive from Quezon City, traversing EDSA and SLEX to Los Banos. Still not much heavy traffic after Magallanes through Taguig-Bicutan-Paranaque area. As you leave Alabang, the long stretch of SLEX would still be lined by rice fields, and after some time, Maria Makiling’s outline would already be visible. That Southern Tagalog mountain range really looked like a giantess lying in repose; from the soft curve of her breasts to her forehead sloping into her long hair. Mt. Makiling with her accompanying Mt. Banahaw and Cristobal was truly majestic.

As we turn into Calamba, the only other slightly “urbanized” area besides Los Banos, we pass by a few fast food restaurants before the hot spring resorts begin to sprout from all sides. Since Mt. Makiling is a dormant volcano, they say those hot springs served as useful vents to let her steam out. Without those hot springs, some scientists claim Makiling could just wake up and become an active volcano again.

Entering Pansol before Los Banos Bayan area, all you can see are hot and cold spring resorts, and that ubiquitous red-brown quarry at the distance. Through the years, I would observe that natural tower-like feature get eroded both by man and by nature’s forces. We pass Camp Eldridge and PCARRD, which now has that shortcut mountain pass into the UPLB campus, I wonder if this is the same shortcut used by incarcerated Los Banos townsfolk when they were evacuating in World War II and needed to cross over to the other side of Laguna de Bay.

Before long, you reach Brgy. Anos where most buko pie, fresh milk and other pasalubong outlets are, and then comes the famous “Crossing”, that landmark intersection which passes as UP Los Banos’ commercial area. Turning right at the corner Mercury Drug at Crossing, you enter into College and the gateway to UP Los Banos.

Unlike the wide, awe-inspiring University Avenue at Diliman, UPLB’s main gate is narrow and simple. The first thing you see upon entering is not the statue commonly known as the “UP Oblation”, but the carabao heads, the symbol of the UP College of Agriculture first established here prior to World War II. Oh, we do have our own Oblation, albeit much smaller in stature, and it’s located at the center of the campus, in front of our Humanities building. But like Diliman, it would please you to know that scattered around the UPLB campus are some artful sculptures too – like the Mariang Makiling which now stands at the bottom of the road going to Forestry, or the “flying” carabao at the Main Library, the Pinay lass with her banga at the Palma bridge pavilion, or the notorious “the Graduate” at the Social Garden (these last two having some weird tales surrounding them, but that’s another story.)  

Tito Ruben and Tita Cora’s house was actually off-campus, in a subdivision near the International Rice Research Institute (IRR). Getting to their place, you can take either the long route via Ipil Drive and IRRI, or the steep hill at the back of the Animal Husbandry side which takes you directly to their village after coming downhill. Due to the distance, we had to coordinate rides to and from campus. But with two of my cousins still in high school and my other cousin busy with his fraternity activities, it was quite difficult scheduling rides, especially since I started having my own extra-curricular activities. A few times I had to get rides from friends – the very popular Luistro brothers, Kim and Gianni, of the UPLB soccer fame, or my sweet and very kind kabatch, Noel Cuyno ‘86.

There were days I caught the free shuttle to IRRI then took that wooden trolley contraption locals ride along the train tracks, and walked the rest of the way to Pleasantville. You go from the long line of trees along Ipil Drive to IRRI, then get a very good panoramic view of the experimental rice fields backdropped by the mountains of Mt. Makiling and Mt. Banahaw, and even Mt. Cristobal. The trolley ride was truly an experience – novel and innovative as it is, it was quite fun to have the wind in your hair. That is, until a train comes along and you all have to get off the tracks to let it pass since the train does have the right-of-way. The real challenge is managing not to get sucked in by the train rushing by. You have to cling to the tall grasses at the sides for dear life until then.

Either way, whether I take the Animal Science route or the long IRRI road, those walks usually treated me to the wonder of flying exotic birds, a rabbit crossing the road, or an occasional snake during rainy season. It was also there I learned to navigate by the weather…watching out for the dark clouds hovering above to decide which route I would be taking so I won’t be soaked by the sudden rain. Until now, I still watch out for cloudy days and time my trips accordingly because I hate getting caught in the rains.

Those days you could still hitch a ride from the vehicles going to and from IRRI, when we used hand-signals to indicate to jeepneys where we want to go, when UPLB was a close-knit community where most people are connected and know each other from somewhere, somehow. We were safe and secure, and the worst that could happen was getting recruited to become NPA rebels…that, or experiencing those notorious paranormal incidents UPLB is so famous for. Yes, those were the times when there wasn’t any Mayor Sanchez and his goons, or drug-related rape cases.

After my first year, deciding that I had adjusted well enough, I opted to move to an on-campus dormitory. I managed to get a slot at the foremost Co-Ed dorm, then-called “Men’s Dorm” because it used to be solely for male students. Of course, there were all-girls dorms on campus, like the neighboring Women’s Dorm and St. Therese dorm run by the local parish nuns. But I really wanted to experience the whole Hollywood teeny-bopper college campus life for real and luckily when a sorority sister graduated, I got her token space in the so-called Sigma Deltan room at Men’s.

When I was at my relatives, all I had to worry about was budgeting my weekly allowance and getting home after classes. But at the dorm, I had to budget my allowance for food, my transportation back to Manila, getting to my classes on time, and managing my extra-curricular hours responsibly. I was really on my own, and had to act like a mature adult. During the 1987 and 1989 coup d’etats, we got stranded in UPLB because Metro Manila was in chaos. We had to do our own laundry, scrounge enough extra cash to feed ourselves, and manage to home to Quezon City.

Prior to UP Los Banos, I didn’t know how to commute using public transport. Now, I had to learn to take the bus to and from Laguna. Back then, the premier busline was BLTB (Batangas, Laguna, Tayabas Buslines) of the Potenciano family. Eventually the company folded, and my alternatives were Kapalaran and Superlines plying the whole Laguna and Quezon route. While there were a few aircon buses, mostly it was ordinary, open-window commuters that you catch from Crossing. In summer, it was either you suffocate in the heat inside the bus or keep the windows open and let your face take all the G-Force of SLEX.

If not for the BLTB Pasay route, I sometimes had to take the Lawton trip and get off at the Metropolitan Theater in Manila for a Project 2-3 jeepney. Otherwise, I get off at Alabang for an EDSA bus transfer to Quezon City, usually a Monumento or Fairview-bound trip. Once in QC, I either get off in Cubao or at the corner of Kamias-EDSA. I had to learn these routes and transfers the hard way, because I made a few wrong rides too.

But I remember the Dairy Training and Research Institute (DTRI) milk I used to drink on those long bus trips. The shing-a-ling (local fried noodles) being peddled by vendors hopping on and off the buses, along with an assortment of commercial buko pies, espasol, banana or kamote fritters, etc. My sister, Giselle soon learned about kwek-kwek, those orange-covered eggs that you dip into vinegar, deep-friend day-old chicks, and pansit habhab at those bus terminals too.

Getting around the CALABARZON area with our friends, my sister, Giselle and I were soon introduced to the tradition of fiestas in these parts. Besides parish-led activities, most towns have other festivities that include feeding majority of visitors to their place. As s guest, you are invited to most homes even if they don’t know you and you are obliged to sample their dishes. One thing we noticed during these “culinary rounds” was that most houses served the classic pansit bihon, menudong Tagalog, and fruit salad.

These local delicacies and simple fare soon grew on me, and without the fast food cuisine we got so used to in the city, these were welcome changes. I learned to exchange my favorite Coca-cola for fresh milk, began to like buko pie and local breads from the bakery instead of burgers and pizza, and those long, necessary walks actually did wonders for my legs and gluteus maximus.

But the thing I really loved the most about my Laguna days, was the clean, fresh air, the amazing greenery surrounding you, a closeness to nature that I will always have an affinity for. Nowadays, I take the opportunity to drop by UP Diliman for a regular dose of nature. Sometimes, I get lucky enough to have the time to visit La Mesa Ecopark or the Parks and Wildlife Park of QC.

Every so often, I still trek to Los Banos to reconnect with my past, commune with nature, and to simply ground myself. For it was there I did a lot of growing up. It was there I found, and keep finding myself, when I feel lost and in need of some peace. Most of all, in that valley by Mt. Makiling, I keep finding focus and direction.