#wurzelbertzwerg
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I got a gift!

Courtesy of the lovely @wurzelbertzwerg !
I maybe should be embarrassed to like Thorpe so much it warrants a present, but I do and I'm not. He's so memorable. He's too fun to hate, so rewarding to dunk on, I can't help it? What's a girl to do, but fall at his feet?
He rotates and everything! Isn't that fantastic?
Thank you again, @wurzelbertzwerg. I am gonna go wash it and pour myself some tea.
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Pray, do give me some recs, for Emma, if you'd be so kind ^-^ 2, 4, 5 and either 10, if you know one, or if not, 8.
Thanks for the ask! Fortunately, I don't know of any unfairly maligned Emma fics, so I'll do 8 instead of 10. :)
2. A fic that made me laugh
A letter to Miss Austen in the year of her 250th anniversary by branchcloudsky. This fic captures Mrs Elton in all her glory, and it's absolutely hilarious!
4. A fic that's really hot
Till She is in Being by MostPreciousTreasures, which contains one of my favourite Emma wedding night scenes and some interesting exploration of Mr Knightley's prior sexual experiences.
5. A fic that's sweet and fluffy
But that the days did not pass so swiftly by middlemarch, a brief but beautiful series of glimpses into the relationship between Emma and Mr Knightley through the years.
8. A fic that deserves more love
Two Umbrellas by Sonetka, an adorable and funny scene from Mr and Mrs Weston's courtship.
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❤️
Thank you! <3 I don't really know how these things work, but I love the dude's sceptical expression. :D
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If you don't mind, for the more fic writer ask: 1, 12 and 30 ^-^
Thank you for playing!
I already answered a couple of these ones, so if you want to send in others, feel free to! Otherwise I'll try to answer some more.
Fic Writer Asks
The last sentence you wrote.
(How did you read my mind that this was one of the questions I was hoping someone would send in?? lmao)
It feels a little bit like cheating that this is from a work I don't think I'll ever post, but it is the last sentence I wrote. I was seized by a thought and just had to get it down the other day right before bed. Also it's more than one sentence, fite me if you want lol
Elvish babes did not die. Their children were not taken by illness or weakened and malformed bodies. Such tragedies were the burdens of the Sickly Ones.
12. A trope you're really into right now.
Answered it already, but I can find another trope. There are many rotating eternally in my mental microwave.
Been toying with future ODE thoughts again and contemplating the angst and fun that I could bring with an Arranged Marriage. In general the trope can be such fun, for both romance and angst. but if I can use it to sink my teeth into the tragic (and tragically unresolved) backstory of certain characters even better!
30. Share a fic you're especially proud of.
I repeat, asking me to play favorites is unfair! 😂
Well, since I did some multi-chap AUs last time, maybe I'll go for some of my oneshots.
Tongues & Teeth - my brief Dark Empress Frey AU. I'm still just Unwell about the source song, and every time I think about that trio in a delightfully unhealthy relationship I just kick my heels together like a giddy schoolgirl
Spring Reunion - In general I'm very proud of all the pieces I've done for various exchanges and events. But this most recent one has been on my mind, since we're coming up on the season it takes place in, and I particularly liked sinking my teeth into the descriptive language.
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For the Trope Ratings: Fake Dating
Ough I do love fake dating. I fondly remember an unfinished but really well written Emma fic with Emma and Frank fake dating and I also have a couple of WIPs that I plan to include this trope in (one fic, one original story)
A!
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@wurzelbertzwerg
nothing will change your perspective on a character like someone who is batshit obsessed with them
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I've always loved the moment of Henry and Catherine watching the Northern Lights in the "Northanger Abbey Inkvent: Day 21 - Aurora Borealis" by @wurzelbertzwerg - plus, I've been meaning to try my hand at After Effects at least once - so here you go :)
#northanger abbey#aurora borealis#henry tilney#catherine morland#my sketches and drawings#I'm grateful I had a tutorial for achieving this effect#- and now I know that I don't wanna use After Effects any further#I think I'll stick with Krita thank you very much ^^;
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Dearest @wurzelbertzwerg,
I hope this brings as much delight to you as it does to me — a little token of appreciation for the lovely person that you are & for the James/Frederick cult out there! :p

Painting was inspired by this passage from Caranya's A Song of Havoc and Mayhem (chapter 3):

But check out her other NA fics as well! As a treat! She is awesome!
Lastly but equally important, I can't draw for shit so I commissioned the wonderful Diana ( @dianapaintss ) to bring a piece of your writing to life. THIS IS SO GOOD. The light, the warmth! The kittens! James' smile! Thank you so much, Diana! I could admire this for days. Commission her! Hehe 🧡
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Additional Tags Game
Tagged by @wurzelbertzwerg:
Rules: Go to your AO3 works page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for additional tags. What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?
Hah, yeah, that sounds like me. I love writing dialogue, and canon-compliant is my favourite sandbox to muck around in. Pre-canon is also a favourite of mine. Angst is the only one that even slightly surprises me. Once upon a time, I wrote almost only fluff and humour.
Not going to tag anyone, but feel free to join!
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Time to get specific ^-^
5, 18, 19, 20, 26 and 29
Whee, my first ask! Maybe one day I will write something non cursed and I can participate in the writer ones ;).
5. Favourite form of potato?
As a side, fried, though I love them doused in olive oil and baked crispy as well. Used to do that a lot at uni. I don't like them boiled as a side (don't hate them, just could live without them) but in stew, mhuah! Chefs kiss. Also not a fan of potato omelette, which is grounds to revocate my nationality, but eh. I can get it back on the grounds that I like them diced and fried as a gazpacho garnish instead of croutons, which is very niche Castilian of me. Good way to give a very light summery soup some heft, which is also very Castilian XD.
18. Your boba/tea order?
Not a fan of boba, but I do like tea. I like green, lemon, ginger, cinnamon, anything with a bit of a kick. I like it hot, too, not iced.
19. What veggie do you dislike the most?
Red cabbage. I dislike cabbage in general, especially boiled, I can't with the texture, but I had a very unpleasant lunch period in grade school of non-stop gagging down red cabbage and it has been my mortal enemy ever since (lunch monitors would threaten to dock the behaviour part of our grade, which now that I think about it, was probably not a thing, but they where hardasses about it). Haven't had it in years, won't unless I have a good reason.
20. favourite disney princess movie?
When I was a whee tike it was Beauty and the Beast. I was Belle at every costume party and when my uncles took me to see the musical it was probably the best day of my young life. As an older kid it was Tangled, cause I got to see it in theaters with my friends and we made a whole day about it, like, we went to the mall by ourselves, and we bought stationary and crappy jewelry and snuck in snacks and went to McDonalds afterwards and had a heated debate over the haircut, you know, things that make you feel very adult when you're 10. I still really like the movie but looking back it was a lot about the experience too. Now I'm very partial to Snow White, cause it was my grandma's favourite so I watched it a lot at her house, and when I watch it now I hear her giggling and sassing the dwarves and whatnot, so it's comforting.
26. How's your spice tolerance?
Slim to none. I don't see the point in eating food that hurts.
29. Preferred pasta noodle?
I don't eat a lot of pasta anymore, but definetly not spaghetty. Bitch to pick up, I was never good at the rolly thing as a kid either so it was always cause for bikering. I remember being excited about bowties when I was a kid, so I'm gonna say bowties. The plain ones, though, not the colorful ones. Also a bolognese kind of person, tomato all the way.
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Good morning!
For the fic writer ask game, I'd love to know:
5, 8 (Aunts and Uncles), 10, 11, 15, 17, 23, 28 and 32
:)
Yay, thanks for the ask! <3 This turned out really long, so I'll put it under a cut.
5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic?
Ooh, I've learned all kinds of things, from fun facts about flower symbolism to what was typically served at a wedding breakfast in Regency England. However, I think the most interesting fic to do research for has been Not Quite So Trifling. Since it involves a character contracting polio, I needed to find out what people would have known about the disease in Jane Austen's time and how they might have tried to treat it. Reading the first clinical description of polio was fascinating. For example, the author noted that cases of paralytic polio were less common in London than elsewhere (which makes total sense, since the paralytic form of the disease is more common in older children and adults, and the poor sanitary conditions in London would have ensured that almost all children were exposed to the polio virus at a very young age).
8. What is your favorite line/section from Aunts and Uncles?
It's a tough choice! I had lots of fun writing the awkward conversations with little John Knightley and the bickering between him and Henry, but I still think I have to pick this part:
Mr Knightley, meanwhile, walked over to the window, but apparently dissatisfied with the view, immediately turned on his heel and stalked over to the fireplace. There, he stood for a moment as if in deep contemplation of the flames – only to turn back towards the room again and say abruptly: “Emma, do you think it so entirely impossible a notion?”
Emma, who had been observing his movements with increasing puzzlement, was rather taken aback by his peculiar manner. His gaze was fixed on her countenance, but she could not interpret his expression.
“What notion?” she asked.
“That you and I should marry.”
I'm pretty sure that this was the scene that sparked the entire idea of this fic (along with the notion that the children would act as catalysts), and I'm very pleased with the way it turned out.
10. Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet?
I'd love to explore the perspectives of side characters more! I love fics that are from an outsider's point of view, so it would be really fun to write a little story exploring what Miss Bates noticed (or didn't notice) of the Emma/Knightley romance or what Mary or Kitty made of Elizabeth and Darcy's turbulent courtship.
11. What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion?
This in another tough one. I feel like I have several different definitions depending on how I look at the question.
For me personally, actually managing to write a fic from start to finish is a pretty big success in itself. I'm a slow writer and I also abandon quite a lot of fics in the outline or WIP stage, so getting a story to the point where it's written, edited and ready to post is already an achievement.
Another sign of success is that the fic turned out the way I wanted it to – that I feel that it conveys something of the images and ideas that I've been picturing in my mind. In other words, if I'm happy with how my story turned out, that's something to celebrate.
Then, of course, there's reader response. I try not to pay too much attention to the numbers, but some fics do attract more readers and receive a more enthusiastic response than others. I feel like the key thing here is how the reader response compares to my general expectations for the fandom, ship, trope, etc. For example, I consider So Happy a Summer to be one of my most successful fics because I honestly expected it to be met with crickets and/or hate comments, and the positive response it got was a really pleasant surprise.
15. Does anyone you know in real life know you write fanfiction?
Yeah, quite a few of my close friends and family members know. It's not something I talk about a whole lot because most of the people I know IRL aren't really involved in fandom, but it's not a huge secret or anything. One of my younger siblings does read fic, though, and they're subscribed to me on AO3, which is kind of cute.
17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?
I think my latest couple of fics turned out particularly well on the comedy front. It always feels really good when I'm not the only one laughing at my jokes!
23. What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?
I've recently been toying around with the idea of a fic in which Emma figures out her feelings for Mr Knightley before he figures out his feelings for her. This, of course, leads to all kinds of horribly embarrassing hijinks, and Emma ultimately has to confess her crush to a very surprised (but not displeased) Mr Knightley. I don't have a proper plot figured out yet, though, so we'll see if anything comes of it.
28. What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?
Content warning: mentions of noncon/dubcon.
I think I've briefly mentioned the probably-never-to-be finished P&P Animorphs AU in some previous ask response? Anyway, my angstiest fic idea ever is an alternate version of that AU, in which Elizabeth is infested by a Yeerk before travelling to Rosings. The Yeerk, seeing Darcy's wealth and status as a golden opportunity, forces Elizabeth to accept his proposal and then acts like the perfect, infatuated wife while she screams inside. Darcy eventually also ends up with a Yeerk in his head, and to make things even worse, then discovers that his wife actually hates him and has been forced to marry him, have sex with him, and so on. They eventually manage to get rid of the Yeerks somehow and join the resistance, but they then have a very long road of healing and reconciliation ahead of them.
I doubt I'll ever write this fic because the angst level is way beyond what I typically enjoy writing and because I'm not confident that I'd have the skill to handle the heavy themes (such as the dubcon/noncon aspects) as well as they deserve to be handled. However, I do think it's a pretty interesting fic concept in theory.
32. A character you enjoy making suffer.
Emma! Give her all the embarrassment! (And then a happy ending, of course.)
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Two Truths and a Lie!
Rules: Share two truths and one lie about yourself, tag five people to guess your lie and to share their own, make sure to guess the lie of the person who tagged you!
I was tagged by @cryptobotanical! I'm going to guess that your lie was "When I was a teenager I was bitten by my friend's pet tarantula". :D
My truths and lies:
I've broken my arm twice and my leg once.
I have hypermobile shoulder joints.
I own a pair of earrings made of human teeth.
I'm going to tag @wurzelbertzwerg, @teepussilakana, @frozen-fountain, @minutia-r and @vaguelythreateningrubberducky (no pressure though!)
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JaOctGoHoNo is here!!
The prompt for 2024 is enchantment. The stories are boop-tacular!
Stories on AO3:
Well Hung by EvilLittleWeasel (John Thorpe likes his men the way he likes his carriages.)
Everything Remains As It Never Was by Caranya aka @wurzelbertzwerg (Catherine Morland never went to see Blaize Castle ... Or did she?)
Death's Dogsbody by me (When Mr. George Knightley of Donwell Abbey dies, he finally remembers Miss Emma Woodhouse.)
Down the Road by me (How will the Longbourn Coven complete all five trials on the Witches' Road after one of them died?)
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@wurzelbertzwerg <3

Most blessed type of fandom experience tbh
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Movie Tag Game
Rules: Without naming them, post a gif from ten of your favorite films, then tag ten people to do the same!
Thank you @mega-aulover for tagging me! 💕
I'm tagging @wurzelbertzwerg @rosegardeninwinter @nnschneider @thychesters @clearbluewaters @queenofbaws @belovedcreation @amarguerite @icequeen-07 and @tapferhills (if they want to)
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The Dragon Quest IX/Northanger Abbey crossover nobody asked for.
Dragon Quest IX is a fantasy adventure JRPG. The very short of it is, you play as a guardian angel that got bombed off heaven and must make their way back up to save the world with a rag tag team of up to three mail-order companions. It’s campy, it's punny, it's fun. It's one of my favourite comfort games, and last weekend I found my brother's copy, which means I can start from zero without losing the DLC content, so I've been thinking of building a team with the NA characters in mind. @wurzelbertzwerg urged me to share and I've put too much thought into it (and learnt too much in the process) not to, so here goes:
First, some context, mechanics and gameplay preferences behind my thought process:
The MC starts out as a Minstrel, a.k.a. a mediocre jack-of-all-trades, and you create your companions as Warriors, Mages, Priests, Martial Artists or Thieves (or Minstrels, but it’s not a class you want two of). As you play you unlock the ability to become a different class, change between them at will, and six advanced classes: Armamentalists, Rangers, Paladins, Gladiators, Sages and Luminaries. Each class has associated strengths and weaknesses I will go over with the relevant characters.
Characters earn skill points as they battle, through which they level up and earn skill points they use to become proficient in several different skill trees. Each class is able to become proficient in three out of 12 total weapons: Swords, Fans, Whips, Spears, Staffs, Wands, Claws, Knives, Axes, Hammers, Bows, and Boomerangs. Some classes are able to equip and become proficient in Shield, and the rest are able to become proficient in Fisticuffs, a.k.a. punching. Finally, each class has a specific Trait skill tree through which they earn abilities and attribute boosters they maintain even if they change classes.
The game is very flexible in terms of team building. The companions are built in a kiln, you can summon and dissmis them at will and make up their backstories as long as they involve meeting at the Quester's Rest through Patty. You are not required to become any one thing outside of what you have to learn in order to unlock the advanced classes, and even that is optional. I like to play with teams of four, where each character specialices in three classes in such a way I have all 12 among the four, and master one weapon in such a way they can use all 12 among them four. It's not the smartest way to play but I don't mind because I like completing the side quests as I go and my favourite game mechanic is alchemy, so I spend a lot of much time grinding and by the time I get to the bosses my level makes up for the strategy limitations. Also, I always always always have a Thief from the start, so I'm able to steal alchemy ingredients. These self-imposed limitations mean justifying some of my choices invoved mental gymnastics. This is especially true of the weapons because many of them were only available to two characters, so it came down to best of two bad choices. If you see something that doesnt' fit consider that a) someone had to have it, so b) it fit the other character who could have it even worse. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out overall, though.
So, with that out of the way, here's a detailed diatribe on the roles, the classes, the weapons, the whos and the whys:
Frederick: Martial Artist (Claws) -> Warrior (Spear) -> Gladiator (Axe)
Frederick was the easiest to build class wise because he's the obvious heavy hitter. No fuss, no frills, no magic, just hitting stuff really hard. Starting with Martial Artist instead of Warrior is going somewhat out of my comfort zone, though. It's usually one I combine with Thief because I thought agility contributed the steal succes (it doesn't). But since Henry's Thief and Martial Artist neither fits him nor boosts his role, Frederick it is.
Martial Artists are the thrid strongest class by a decent margin (Warrior and Gladiator are second and first, so at least the progression it makes sense), but they are flimsier than I'm comfortable with for my heavy hitter, especially in the early game. They aren't frail, but they can't use Shields. Character wise I'm fine with it, I'm not mad he's able to punch stuff, but also, they can't use shields, nor heavy armour, so it's very hard to boost their defence. I'm fine with Frederick going into battle comparatively naked, but gameplay wise it scares me. James is gonna be a busy bee. The tradeoff is, he's very agile, which means he'll usually attack first, and I like him in the frontlines. That'll probably even out as the game progresses, Warriors and Gladiators aren't particularly agile, but I do like him being the first one to jump into battle at the start.
Martial Artist is also usually one I save for after unlocking Alltrades Abbey, but I want to make the mastery books a priority, and you get to the Martial Artist missions way sooner than the Warrior's, so it made sense to get it out of the way first. I've come to love that choice from a story perspective though, because the starting attributes are similar to Henry's Thief, and I like them starting out with similar strengths that they then develop in very different ways, and because the other two weapons he can use as Martial Artist are Fan and Staff, which are Catherine and James' starting weapons. I'm not gonna put any skill points there in gameplay, but story-wise I'm gonna assume he's familiar with them so there's bonding opportunities there.
Claws I have a personal hangup with. If I were more flexible, I might not have given anyone. He'd be the most likely to use them off the four, and they are the best weapon available to Martial Artists, but they are still... massacry. I am not a gore person and the game is quite silly in tone and Claws are the one weapon I struggle imagining being made out of foam, and they're all going for kills anyway, so it's not like they are worse... Still, this is my post and I imagine Catherine would be quite shocked to see Frederick clawing at what's essentially a ram. I've decided that neither Frederick nor Henry would have that perspective because the monsters in the area I've decided they're from tend to be: a) sharp clawed or talloned, b) metal, c) magic, or d) made out of goop, which, in my head, either warrants clawing in retaliation or doesn't have the same gore factor as clawing at the more benign-looking monsters you start with.
Warriors get good resilience boosters through their Trait tree, which is good, because I don't imagine Frederick as a guy who is easy to take down. Gladiators aren't flimsy either and at least they can wear armour but they're also allergic to shields. If Fisticuffs wasn't such a useless skill I would take the loss as a tradeoff, but as it is it's just annoying. You can unlock the Warrior and Gladiator mastery missions at about the same time so I'll have to see which I prioritize. I usually unlock Gladiator as soon as possible, but I've usually had Warrior from the beggining, so that's gonna be new. Warriors are pretty reliable, it's not a bad idea to stretch out that stage and get all the Trait tree boosters before moving to Gladiator, but Gladiators are so good. No frills, no magic, they just hit stuff, but they hit stuff really fucking well. He's definitely gonna be a Warrior until James becomes a Paladin though, because Warriors learn to defend other characters through the Trait tree and I need someone who can throw themselves in front of Catherine while she's a Mage and take the hit. Catherine's Mage era is gonna be interesting. It's not something he's gonna do much once James becomes a Paladin because I want him dealing damage, not jumping in front of shit, but I do like that he's gonna be able to do it. He cares, when it counts.
I always give my Warriors Swords, but giving Frederick the Sword made assigning the rest of the weapons complicated, so I gave him the Spear instead. Catherine gets the Sword, which is... scary for all involved, and it does mean getting it later than I would like, but @wurzelbertzwerg made me feel better about this choice with dirty joke potential, and it will force me to actually use it. It's supposed to be pretty powerful and I almost always give it to Paladins, who spend a good chunck of battles healing, so it gets a bit wasted. As a Gladiator he gets the Axe, which was one of the few happy cases of he has to have it so the other weapons work out. They're powerful, they look really cool, you can make a bunch of them through alchemy, so that's fun for me, and he'll make the most out of it.
I've decided him and Henry are from Bloomingdale, and I have some half-baked ideas about how that would play into that story beat, but nothing as tragic or poignant as the fact that there is no way I can unlock the crossdressing medal before I get there, so everyone's gonna miss out on Frederick wearing the female warrior chainmail bikini.
It's got pretty decent stats too, it's such a damn shame. Will have to come back to Warrior eventually, if only for that.
James: Priest (Staff), Paladin (Hammer), Sage (Boomerang)
James as the Priest was an obvious choice as a parallel to NA but also as a story element. Obviously him and Catherine can't be siblings in this setting, so I wanted something that would allow them to build a sibling-like relationship quickly. I think Catherine would find a lot of comfort and a sense of familiarity in James believing and being familiar with her world, even if from afar, and James would become intuitively protective of her and feel tenderness and slight awe towards Catherine. He would also assume he knows better than her and be patronizing and a little smug, as older siblings are. In turn, Catherine would come to quickly value his opinion but also find him frustrating and do covert, petty things to get her way when she disagrees with him, as younger siblings do. It's unclear when the companions find out the MC is a guardian angel, but I imagine it would be a big moment of understanding that ultimately doesn't change a whole lot about their dynamic. She might be an angel, but she's still in his turf and she's quite silly and inexperienced and has massive gaps in knowledge and needs help. It would reign in the smugness a bit, but not completely, and I like that. I can imagine a lot of moments where he would feel compelled to step in and help her out, or lecture her, but also be impressed and proud of her, even after she finds out about her origins.
Priest -> Paladin -> Sage is a go-to combo for me. Progression wise, Sage is a rather natural evolution of Priest and Paladins are like devout knights. Gameplay wise, Priests, though they are weak and weedy, are very useful as healers from the start and remain so through the late game. Paladins, on the other hand, are hardy as hell. They're my favourite class in the game. Their Trait tree resilience and HP boosters are a godsend when you want to go back to Priest or progress to Sage, because if there's one person you absolutely do not want to die in battle, it's the one who can ressucitate others. They have a short but useful list of healing and deffensive spells, can donate HP and MP, and throw themselves in front of weaker characters. They are also high-mid strong and have access to decent weapons, so they are able to deal damage when nobody needs healing or rescuing. Sages go back to being weak and weedy, but once you add the Paladin boosters, they make up for it with a massive MP pool and prowerful attack and healing spells. The Priest combo means they'll be better at healing, which I frankly find more useful than attack magic, and they learn to boost their and other players' magic through their Trait Tree. They can also learn to perform vocation changes, which can be very useful for changing strategies in the middle of a grotto, so overall, very solid class. Their mastery missions are spread quite far apart, you're not able to become a Sage until very late game, so he'll spend a decent time as each. Very good combo, very comfortable for me, I like.
Character wise, I like them for James for several reasons. Firstly, they are all about care, which I do think James shows in a rather misguided way, for Thorpe, for Isabella, and for Catherine. Secondly, their spell lists are a dramatic in a rather self-destructive way. Priests can cast death spells (yes, the point is to kill the monster, but that's quite a bit harsher than a fireball. Or maybe it's Claws again, but this is my post, goddamit). They also have a high fair rate, so it's biting more than you can chew. Paladins can cast Kamikaze spell, where they sacrifice themselves to either kill all enemies or heal all teamates, and Sages can cast nukes that drain their entire MP pool. Those two, particularly when combining these three classes in one character, are missguided. I understand them as a last ditch attempt to save a battle but, if it comes to that, especially in regular combat, your team is underpowered. They force you to either return to town or use hard to come by resources to get a key character back in fighting shape. Everytime I see them I think "pace youself", which one can gleam James could do with hearing more often. Third, Paladins get a pixi and even though in this case he's gonna be in good company the man needs a friend that's just his. Fourth, in this house we stan James/Frederick and apparently healing magic is gay, so there's that.
Weapon wise James kind of gets the shaft, but I don't terribly mind because it doesn't make sense to give good weapons to a character with very little attack power. Staffs are useless and the only other person who can use them is Frederick, so it was a no brainer. Boomerangs are even uselesser, so James gets them because if he ever gets the chance to attack as a Sage he can do so with magic. His best weapon is definetly Hammer, which as a Paladin he might even get a chance to use, and I like that it's rather inelegant. I can see James as a decisive but rather fumbling warrior. I also really like the idea of prioritizing mastering the Hammer so he can use it as Sage and become the Hammer Pope.
Picture this but with a giant spiky mallot. The high level Hammers tend to look hellish too, so fun contrast. Lastly, since we are talking about crossdressing, I have a massive gripe with the female Paladin outfit that rather works in James' favour.
This is the male Paladin outfit. Easily my favourite male class outfit in the game. Love the chainmail, love the long tunic, love the cape, love the color scheme, good good good. Very happy James gets to wear it. Below is the female Paladin outfit.
Immediately not as majestic, which is to be expected, unfortunately, but that's not even my problem. The oficial art for it is misleading because, though it is obviously a chainmail minidress and thigh high socks, with everything else going on it doesn't look too revealing. The game however makes it its business to put the breasts in breast plate and the thighs in thigh highs. It feels even sluttier than the Warrior chainmail bikini because it shows just enough to tease the imagination but looks like it shouldn't show anything. When I play with my own characters that is not my thing, but for James, I'm on board. There is also no way I will have the crosdressing medal by the time I unlock the Paladin outfits but he gets to wear something cool and majestic during the game and then in the post game I can come back and slut it up. Frederick might be sex on a stick but James boxy pixelated chest hair is gonna put him to shame, goddamit.
Henry: Thief (Knife), Ranger (Bow), Luminary (Whip)
Henry was hard to pin down. My first instinct was to make him a Mage because they're charming, flashy, attack from afar and fold like wet tissue paper, followed by Armamentalist and Luminary, because they're magic-y and glamourous and I think that's how he'd like to be seen. I also considered making him the MC (which would have been interesting, because the game assumes you're gonna play as a man and there's one plot point where I could like to see how that plays out) and do Minstrel -> Mage -> Luminary, but that was wrong too. Gameplay wise it leaves you with a pretty fragile character, and story wise, the overarching conflict revolves around wether humanity is worth protecting, and while his journey from no to yes would probably make for a more intersting story, the MC is kinda supposed to be on the side of yes from the start. Like, it's not explicit, but it's telegraphed, and it'd be kind of hard to believe that he would get promoted to guardian angel, the people in charge of collecting cristalized human goodwill, at all, let alone sooner than usual, if he where too cynical to believe in humanity.
Plus, the class related character dynamics suffered. Making him MC would have meant making Eleanor healer, and while some of the stuff I talked re. James and Catherine's relationship would have transfered, it wouldn't have worked as well. He'd have no relation to Frederick, which is also not right. His and Catherine's dynamic would be the easiest to replicate but it's not as poigniant if he's an angel. He's supposed to be just some dude and that's why it's so cute that Catherine Likes him so much. Besides, as far as believing in humanity goes, obviously Catherine is worth protecting, and she opens him up to the idea that there are genuine people out there, but to say that through her he could learn to see the best in people in general, is a STRETCH. I don't believe she could get him that far, and considering he's supposed to end as the sole mortal protector of humanity, he kind of needs to get there and I wouldn't know how to make him.
Plus, plus, one glaring problem with both those combos was, it left Catherine as the Thief and just the thought me ugly giggle. Like, my poor girl, no. Of the four, Thief fits Henry the best and Catherine probably the worst. Rangers have the best Deftness stat and a lot of Trait tree boosters, so I was determined to give it to whoever got Thief. Henry as Minstrel -> Thief -> Ranger would have made for maximum agragate Deftness and been decently in character, but on top of all the problems associated with Henry being MC, it would have left Catherine as Luminary, which wouldn't have been as bad as Thief but still wrong. Catherine's whole appeal is how unconciously genuine she is, so assigning her a class all about performance felt off. Henry, on the other hand, loves a joke, loves a bit, loves a little bit of a show off. He would enjoy it. So it had to be him.
So all in all, Henry was best as a companion with Thief -> Ranger -> Luminay. This class combo leaves him quite... mid. He fulfills a very important role for me, alchemy my beloved, but in combat Thiefs are mid, Rangers are mid and Luminaries are... pretty. Ranger and Luminary are the classes I like the least. Luminary is a post game class and widely seen as a novelty rather than a tool, so I don't mind super mind that it's weak, but in this combo it's annoying because it's the only class able to use a Shield, which leaves Henry quite vulnerable for the duration of the story. Thieves are quite decent in the early game but fall short as you unlock the advanced classes, and most of their Trait skill have to do with thieving or data collecting, so nothing super useful for combat. Rangers are... lacking. It's the second advanced class you are able to unlock, so when you're coming in new that's exciting. They get a massive Deftness booster, which on top of thievery ups the chances of evading an attack and of landing a critical hit, which is nice and fits his character. They have some decent healing spells, which enables them as a second string healer, and can unlock a small resilience booster through their Trait tree, which is always good to have. The problem is, none of this makes up for the fact that they're not very strong. Most of their support spells have to do with breath attacks and beastly nonsense, which aren't common enough or harsh enough to warrant defending against usually, and the evading spells are nice to have when you transition to a new area with stronger monsters (or on the boat), but they have a high failure rate and also, you earn no experience for the battles you don't finish, so it's not smart to escape very often. Most battles they just combat and they're just not very powerful at that. Not incompetent either, just... mid. Henry's gonna be spending a lot of time as a Ranger, so that's not ideal.
Someone reading this might get the impression that I'm giving Henry shitty classes because I don't like him, and that's not true. I love him. I love ragging on him as well, but they're not mutually excusive. He fulfills a very important role for ME, I cannot overstate how much time I spend chasing goddamned monsters around for ingredients, and the Thief and Ranger Trait abilites are very useful to get around the grottoes in the later game, which I also really like doing. It's just that I usually combine them with a stronger class I can use for combat, and in this case I can't. He won't be incompetent, he'll just be the least useful in combat, and story wise, I've come to really like that, because here's the thing: he, canonically, doesn't need to actually be great, because Catherine believes he's great regardless.
You create new characters at the Quester's Rest Inn through Patty, which in story gives us a setting, but I don't think Catherine would go up to her asking for a Thief, nor would Henry be down in the census as one. I think Patty would introduce them in an unnoficial capacity, that Henry would flirt with her, do some pick-pocketing as a party trick to impress her, and Catherine would be starry-eyed, as she is. Then, when the zombie knight quest compells her to look for a team, she would ask Patty to introduce her to a hitter and a healer, but would invite Henry to join in herself because she likes him and enjoys spending time with him. Not in so many words of course, he can't know that she likes him, that'd be so embarrasing. But, like, Henry obviously knows, and he likes being where he is liked. In my head, he went to Stornway to study alchemy or some non-combat nonsense and got roped into becoming a Thief because he let Catherine believe he's better at it than he actually is. What is he gonna do, tell her thieving from monsters is not quite the same? Unthinkable! And she'll be so impressed if he pulls it off! So it doesn't really matter that from a party balance perspective he's the least useful. He's competent and he's good at looking impressive and Catherine wants him there anyway, and I think that'd make a neat NA parallel.
This little plot contraption made me a lot more comfortable with Henry being a Ranger from an aesthetics point of view. Rangers look rather... outdoorsy in an "I hunted and foraged my outfit" kind of way, and that's not really Henry's vibe. Though I must say:
That Sword? Fashion statement. Rangers have Axes, Bows and Boomerangs. Can't let something petty like weapon restriction keep a man from turning a look.
Regardless, him falling into the Thief role for/because of Catherine, even from a story perspective, would make him most useful when looking for ingredients to upgrade their weapons and stuff, so I think would choose to become a Ranger despite the lack of glamour because it would allow him to do what he's become best at more effectively, so that would play into his pride, but also, Catherine thinks the sun shines out of his ass anyway, so he's comfortable not having the bells and whistles of something like Armamentalist. Also, with Catherine being so fish out of water, I think he would have a lot of fun pointing out the monsters to her and making up shit and being all know-it-all in documentary presenter voices. Lots of opportunities for cute dorky shit. And then, when the world is safe and all is well he can become a Luminary and be Jack the Whipper by day and got grotto exploring with Catherine at night. The one glaring problem with that plan is:
That fucking hat. I love the Luminary male outfit, but that hat almost rivals the NA 2007 wet dream priest pamela (Catherine has questionable taste). I can only assume he's hiding shit he stole under there, so appropriate, but still, hideous. So since this post has kinda become about crossdressing anyway, I propose to you, Jack the Whipper:
Henry would rock that bow. It all works out in the end.
Weapong wise, a lot had to fall into place to Henry could have the Bow. This is the reason Catherine has a Sword. The Knife and the Whip he got kinda by default and that was okey with me. The Knife is low-mid but in the early game that's not too bad and he has to learn a Knife skill to become a Ranger, so that made sense. The Whip was down to him or... Catherine, which, absolutely not. It's kind of an useless weapon too so it makes sense to give it to a weaker class like Luminary and think of it as a gymnastics ribbon. For Ranger, however, I wanted to give him a decent weapon, because even if he's not the strongest he's gonna do more hitting than anything else, and it is one thing that he's mid, but I wasn't gonna make him incompetent. Like I said, the options were Axe, Bow, or Boomerang, so the Boomerang was immediatly out, and the Axe, while it is more powerful, I couldn't picture him with, so Bow it was, which I'm happy with. It's high-mid, long range, a little flashy, (for a while, the best one you can get is shaped like angel wings, and that's very cute re. Catherine) and at one point Catherine has to use one for a story beat, so provides some "here, let me show you" flirting opportunities. Happy happy happy.
Catherine: Minstrel (Fan), Mage (Wand), Armamentalist (Sword)
I went into why Catherine has to be the MC while explaining why Henry can't, and if you have to pick someone to be on the side of humanity, who wouldn't even question it, who probably should a little bit, it'd be Catherine. She gets to be our bumbling heroine and experience the big adventure and explore the big wide world. Also, as a fish out of water story, she fits the best. Very trusting, very out of her depth, she's gonna have a lot of fun.
Minstrel is a given for the MC, and at first glance it doesn't fit Catherine for the same reasons as Luminary, but it's one I don't mind because the game itself assigns it to you. Story wise she's a Minstrel because the townsfolk at Angel Falls, the town she guardians and where she crashlanded, believe she is, and are none too happy about it. Mechanically though, it fits. Minstrels are mediocre at pretty much everything, but are always learning. Every other class has a few attributes they improve as they level up while the rest remain stagnant but Minstrels get stronger, more agile, resilient, defter, etc... every level, so that's neat for Catherine, who certainly learns a lot and is so very open to it. They have no standout attributes, though, and again, that fits. They get small Trait boosters to pretty much everything and are easy to transition out of, you can go for combat, or magic, or foraging, and Catherine is gonna do Magic. Weapon wise, she gets the Fan, which is mid, and that's fine. Helps with the performer façade, which she will fail to keep up as the adventure advances, but oh well XD.
One thing to keep in mind is that the MC's progression actually important for grotto generation later in the game. Essentially, if you want to unlock the best ones, you MC has to be topped out in one class, and revocate another over and over, which involves levelling up to the max and starting from zero. Apparently Minstrel takes longer to top out than the rest, so it's not an ideal candidate for either. So, the MC can't really leave behind the weaker classes after milking them for buffs, they must grind them out, which makes the fact that she's gonna be a Mage... yeah XD.
Catherine Mage era is gonna be, in case you hadn't heard, interesting. Playing with Mages is a bit of a pain. They're effective at combat but they need a lot of support. They are damned flimsy, for one thing, flimsiest in the game by a non-negligable margin. Attack magic's obvious downside compared to attack plain a simple is that attack magic takes MP, and spells are expensive, so you're constantly running out. With the right buffs, they're very powerful, but when they run out of MP they are entirely useless. Not like, mediocre, USELESS. They have shit weapons and no attack power. In fact, anyone familiar with the game might wonder why I didn't give James the Wand when he's able to use it in every class, but someone *really* familiar with the game knows Mages need all the MP boosters they can get (this really would have been perfect for Henry, goddamit), so not only is Catherine getting the Wand, mastering the Wand is a priority. James will be fine. Mage is worth pairing with Minstrel, especially after completing the mastery missions, because Minstrels get a couple cheap attack and support abilities through their Trait tree, so it enables Mages to transition to a support role when the MP starts running low. You also gotta keep track of the monster's weaknesses to make the most of the spells, at least for the bosses, though I do like that story wise it means she'll be asking Henry a lot of monster questions for spell purposes and no other reason, what do you mean.
Her Mage era also potentially comes right after they rest of the gang find out she's a guardian angel, so story wise it's kinda funny they find out she's a supernatural being right before she starts keeling over at every little punch. James and Frederick are gonna be a *very* busy bees. Henry, on the other hand, won't be able to do much for her, and he's gonna hate that. Their Trait tree is good, though, and the boosters will come in handy as an Armamentalist, which is the only really good one to pair Mage with (outside of a Priest -> Mage -> Sage combo for the ultimate magic user) so it's a necessary step. I'm gonna keep the stage brief through the story and it is definetly the one I will leave alone after topping out, though, which is a bit of a pain. Ideally you wanna top out the class you wanna leave alone first and then grind the one you wanna revocate, Mage is not one you wanna start from zero, you want them at their best. Eh, can't be helped, and it does mean getting the crossdressing medal earlier, so little concessions one has to make.
Armamentalists are, essentially, magic mousqueteers. They've got arguably the best class outfit in the game:
Look at this. It's magestic. The hat, the feather, the collar, the cape, the slashed, puffy sleeves. And it's blue! Perfect for Catherine.
Armamentalist are on the high end of mid combat classes. They've got one of the highest HP pools and are fourth strongest once you add the boosts. In a different context I might not be comfortable with Catherine being the fourth most battle ready, but considering Frederick embodies one, two, and three, which will put him very far above her once you add all the boosters, and James and Henry are in specialized roles, I don't mind. They move away from attack magic towards weakening magic, which I don't love for her, but I rarely use those spells because they have a high failure rate, so she's gonna be mostly charging forward into battle, which I like. Our girl is confrontational. Easily distracted, but confrontational. The Armamentalist Trait skill tree is all about this one support skill I love, though: Armamentalist can increase their and teammate attacks with the power of the elements. It's finnicky in the same way attack spells are, you gotta know what monsters are weak to what, but with her class progression that makes sense and they are hands down my Armamentalist most used feature and I prefer Catherine as a character that boosts teammates up rather than knock enemies down. So with her overall Trait tree combo, Catherine is gonna end up a character that half attacks half boosts teammates attack, which I think fits her really well.
As an Armamentalist she's gonna use the Sword, a.k.a. the most powerful weapon in the game, which... everyone cower in fear. Story wise this is good because the game assumes you're gonna make it your main weapon and makes you use it for a couple story beats. I rarely give my MC's swords so at least this time the cutscenes will be appropirate. I loathe to get the Sword so late in the game though. It's got the easiest metal slime fighting feature to achieve. Metal slimes are these skittish teardrop things that give you a shitton of experience points, but they're very hard to kill and run away on you, so to maximize kills you gotta tackle them with specific weapons, and the distribution doesn't work great here. Fans have a metal slime useful skill, but it takes a while to unlock. Claws, Spears and I think Axes have them too, but Frederick has them all, which means there's only one to two people able to fight them effectively at any given time. But eh, concessions and all. Everyone would rather Catherine get the long sharp pointy stick later rather than sooner, at least we can expect her to be a little more competent, and I do like that her and Frederick are gonna tag team for the metal slimes. Very unlikely duo XD.
No crossdressing for Catherine. Predictably, the female outfits are almost always prettier or sluttier than the males, so no point in making her crossdress for kicks or looks. I am gonna add the female Minstrel outfit here though, because by the time she unlocks it she will (hopefully) be a Mage already and it's such a shame because the Minstrel is so much prettier.
It's not super Catherine, I grant you, but it's one of my favourites and it looks nice in game and I'm a little sad I won't get her to wear it. I'm gonna miss out on a lot of the pretty dresses, this team is such a sausage fest, but on the other hand, I've never had the impulse to make anyone crossdress before either, so eventually I will get to see the pretty dresses.
So this is it!
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. I might reblog this with a bonus about which of the NPC's fit the rest of the characters best, cause I've put some thought into that too, but this post is long enough as it is XD. If this happens to come across another fan of the game and I've said something wrong or overlooked some helpful mechanic, first keep in mind this is a character exercise more than anything and then correct me, I wanna learn. The game is old enough to drive a moped and the DLC content is a pain in the ass to get but if I peaked anyone's interest I sincerely recommend it. Bye!
#i suspect this will reach one (1) entire person#but was I supposed to keep this all in my head?#exactly#catherine morland#henry tilney#james morland#frederick tilney#northanger abbey#jane austen#dragon quest ix#dqix#dragon quest
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