#I need a ROCKET DAMN IT. ]]

[emichevy]

I need to draw all my favorite characters having a good CRY. Just a moment to fucking CRY. Ugly cry. Let it all OUT. Cause GOD FUCKING DAMN do a lot of them NEED THAT SHIT.

[unnamed-proxy]

The worse I get at Forsaken the better I am at Phighting

[tricksteroftheheart]

just got reminded of skate redesign oough i need to be taken out /neg

[rocketonthemoon]

Not good but “correct” ending? That’s quite the stance

so i'm gunna preface all of this by admitting a) I still haven't seen all of the show (i'm missing a couple of episodes basically from 3/4/ and quite a bit from 5) and that b) it's been a while since I last watched the parts of the show I HAVE seen so. Bear with me

But yes. I absolutely believe this was the Correct ending for the CWSG's version of Kara. like I said, from the get go, the Kara we're introduced to struggles with her dual lifestyle. Becoming Supergirl makes her feel free and confident. She's EXCITED by being able to use her powers and be more of herself instead of hiding all the time. Kara's regularly confronted for being a bad liar - both by the show going 'haha isn't this silly' and by the characters - and personally I view her hard line of "you lied to me" that she draws with other characters comes from her extreme dislike of the fact that she's lying about herself. She comes out to at least one character every season except maybe 3? And every time her behavior with those characters transforms into Kara becoming more comfortable and more herself. And no matter how you view Kara's relationship with Lena, the reveal and the aftereffect is the big push through the season both plot and character-wise

For all of the writing's faults, the one line they did manage to make through the entire season is Kara's struggle with her dual identity. I don't even like calling it "secret" because I think they do actually a decent job of showing that Kara views - or at least wants - her life not as a secret but rather two halves that she can't seem to make fit together. How much of that throughline is Melissa Benoist's understanding and evolution of Kara as a character (the famous interview at the end where she admits to apparently pitching Kara's ending makes me suspect it was quite a bit) and how much of that was actual show projection, I don't think we'll actually ever know. But for this version of Kara that we sat with through 6 seasons of TV with, anything else for a character arc would've just felt static imo. If CWSG can say it's about anything, it can say it's Kara's journey of self discovery.

[maimedaffairg]

u know , joe killing beck &* candace for cheating &* then subsequently cheating on love like ... 2 (3?) times is just ,,, mm. what a man.

[littleapocalypsekitten]

Tailored ads are terrible. Before I was even on tumblr, my fiance / partner had a major heart attack (second) and was in the hospital in need of surgery and I was a wreck freaking out about it. I talked about it with loved ones on Facebook and I talked about it with friends on a blog-area I go to and I guess I said "die" a lot and talked enough about "fear that he might die" that... guess what ads started appearing on my dashes, all of them, all over the Internet and I could NOT get rid of them? "Caskets hand-crafted by Trappist monks." Dear God in Heaven, did that trigger me something FIERCE!

every other website: highly tailored ads based off of your personal data

tumblr:

[philosians]

do i order coffee or do i order coffee???

[arolesbianism]

Oh baby I am getting way to ambitious with my current oni run for someone who's laptop starts screaming anytime it opens steam

[humanjarvis]

whose?

synopsis: what’s his is yours.

tags: fluff, smut (handjob), kind of comfort, in a way. jealous/possessive reader, reader needs reassurance, caleb subs himself out to give it to them. reader is a bit delusional but he’s into it, of course word count: 1.4k

a/n: i have reached the point in writerdom where my “drabble ideas” exceed 600 words and must become full fics. i like this one though

“So, how was it?” 

Caleb looks up as your voice echoes from the living room, having just returned from a Fleet meeting. That afternoon, there’d been a new recruit skill showcase, and he’d been summoned to judge.

“Nothin’ special,” he calls casually, strolling into the room. “The guys at the DAA were a lot more passionate, and a lot nicer to be around. Although…I think this one girl was trying to get on my good side. Kept lookin’ over at me during her trials like she wanted to impress me. She even came up to me afterwards saying she liked my eyes—I had to turn her down. Shame you weren’t there with me, otherwise we could’ve saved her the trouble,” he ends with a sheepish chuckle. 

Unfortunately, Caleb was too wrapped up in his storytelling to notice you flinching at four particular words: “girl,” “liked,” “my eyes.”

Bristling in irritation, you shoot him a skeptical glance before turning your attention back to your phone. “Whose?” you ask, your eerily calm voice cutting through the dry air.

“Huh?” he blinks confusedly. “Whose…what? She said she liked my eyes, if that’s what you’re getting at,” he repeats.

You tut, ticking your head up to the side and raising a sloped eyebrow. “Whose?”

Caleb feels like he’s back in a college classroom, sweating with nerves as he stares at an exam question that hadn’t been on the study guide. 

What had he said wrong? He racks his brain for an answer, and then—oh. He knows what you're doing.

Lately, when other people commented on his body—the body you'd waited so long to touch without consequence—you got a bit…sensitive.

He knows what you want him to say, now. And, like always, he was happy to indulge your adorably territorial request.

“…Yours,” he swallows.

“Good.” With a haughty sniff, you click your phone off and lob it across the couch. “Come here.”

And now, Caleb feels like he’s back in high school, suddenly getting called to the principal’s office. Except this time—because it’s you—a thrill rockets down his spine, propelling him forward in long, obliging strides. 

He sits obediently when you pat the spot next to you, and you turn to face him with a light scowl on your face. An act, he thinks. You’re no more than a lion cub trying to be brave, but you need the validation, the reassurance. And he’ll gladly give it to you.

“I wasn't doing it on purpose,” he pouts. “It's not my fault. Just wanted to tell you about my day.”

“It is your fault,” you grumble, “for being so damn hot and charming all the time.” 

He uses all his effort to take you seriously. To listen solemnly instead of preen at your praise.

“But I am glad you told me, because that means I can remind you,” you add, climbing on top of him. “These,” you start, fingers tracing the outlines of his purple irises, “are mine.” He inhales sharply when you come forward, his eyes fluttering shut to let you press twin kisses to their lids.

He shivers for a moment before opening them gently, encouragement and poorly hidden delight in his gaze. “Yeah,” he rasps in agreement. “Yours.”

Humming in pretend contemplation, you trail your finger down the bridge of his nose. “This too,” you declare, tapping it lightly. 

You take his quick nods as a sign to continue. 

Just a few more centimeters, and your hand reaches his full mouth. “And these,” you start, lowering your voice as you lean in, “are definitely mine.” Claiming his lips in a searing, open-mouthed kiss, you tangle a hand in his hair as he groans into you. His large palms splay across your back, tugging you even closer, and you’re almost upset when you have to pull yourself away. But you have a point to prove. 

“Am I right?” you ask through uneven breaths, and he answers you with hazy eyes and swollen lips. 

Onto the next part.

Running your hands down his bulky arms—also yours—you inch back on his lap just enough to see the full pane of his clothed abs. Like usual, he knows what you want before you even ask and swiftly tugs his shirt off, exposing himself to you with unconditional trust. 

You let a soft smile grace your lips as you count the smooth muscles, chiseled by years of hard work and restraint. “Each of these,” you begin, lightly tapping each one, “is also mine. So I certainly hope she’s never seen them,” you warn with a deceptively playful squint. 

“Nope,” he says proudly. “Nobody outside this room has for a long time. I just keep ‘em in good shape because I know their owner likes them,” he smirks and squeezes your hip gently. 

Flustered by how readily he plays along, you clear your throat bashfully. Damn him. “Y-yes. Well. I do,” you stutter, cheeks burning when his grin widens.

Alright. Evidently, he’s eager—almost too eager—to be put in his place, if you can even call this that. You have to shift the power in your favor, to get the ball back in your court. And luckily, you’re in just the right position to do that. 

Meeting his gaze defiantly—he is not in charge here—you reach between your bodies to slip your hand into his pants. As your warm fingers wrap around him, he lets out a choked whine and screws his eyes shut, only to blink them open seconds later with a pitiful stare. 

“Mhm,” you hum in approval. From Caleb, that look is a show of submission—his favorite card to play when you score the upper hand. That look—the furrowed brow, the pleading gaze, and the slightly quivering bottom lip—means he’s yours to control.

“And whose is this, Caleb?” you tease with reclaimed confidence, squeezing gently around his hardened length. 

“Yours,” he breathes shakily, the response automatic. “Only have it for you—so you can use it.” 

“That’s right,” you smile in satisfaction. Giving him a quick kiss, you lift his heavy cock out of his boxers, watching in admiration as the head glistens with growing need. “Mine to use. Why don’t I show you?” 

Reaching up, you run your thumb across his tip and down his rigid length, coating it thoroughly until he’s slick with his arousal. You figure it’s okay to reward him—that’s part of learning, right? Rewards for good behaviors, punishments for bad. And despite the small hiccups, the moments where he’d siphoned your dominance, he’d been so good for you tonight. 

So you start with slow strokes. Gentle praises and twists of your hand, up and down, down and up, until his face contorts in bliss. Frantic gasps and whimpers fill your ears, and you’re happier than ever that you’re the only one who gets to see him like this. You know there’s no one else—you’ve always known, deep down—but that doesn’t stop you from needing to hear it. From needing him to say it. So you’ve started to ask for it in…creative ways. “You’re all mine, right Caleb?” you murmur between pumps, savoring the pleas that fall from his lips. 

“Forever,” he moans, glassy eyes trying their hardest to focus on your face. “Only yours. Only want to be yours.” 

The fuzzy feeling inside you is a bit out of place in the moment, but as your heart swells, you decide not to care. Latching your lips onto his, you increase the pace of your strokes until he’s struggling to return your kiss, overwhelmed by the dual sensations. Giving him space to breathe, you take the opportunity to whisper in his ear: “Let go, Caleb. But remember, that belongs to me.” 

And as your words envelop him, he spills into your hand with a mewling groan. After two more lazy pumps, you settle yourself back in his lap, positioned right over his twitching cock. 

“Thank you,” you murmur, kissing his cheek gently. He buries his face into your shoulder in response. 

Chuckling, you ease his head back and gaze into his—your—violet eyes. “I almost forgot,” you add softly, placing a hand over the erratic thud in his chest. “This? This is mine, too.” 

[sbcdh]

You know where the word cocaine comes from? Its Quechua. Just the name of the damn plant. I think it was 1971, maybe 72. I dunno- 

Could you start at the beginning?

Huh? Yeah, sure. Course. Uhh. Lets see…

Take your time. 

Woof. Lets see…I started in uhhh, 72. Some tiny little bottle-rocket firm sweatin for talent, head broker was this big red fatass named Ron Spade, hell of a guy, but the place got bought out by Bear Stearns in 73 when the shit really hit the fan. It was a rough time to be on a trade floor. IRS just put out the whole hypnoeconomics thing. Half the big firms were runnin’ around with their hair on fire, the other half felt invincible. Every day was a party. Party party party. 

Was that your first interaction with hypnostimulants? 

I guess. Its funny. First guy to give me quori was a cop. 

You mean an agent of the FDA? 

No no, like an old fashioned NYPD beat cop. Met him in the bathroom at Pink during a bender. Moron was so faded he thought I was his informant. Just gave me a phial. 

And you tried it?

Not right away no. To be honest I thought it was kinda faggy. Sorry. Its just what I thought at the time. The shit was sparkly, you know? What kinda drug comes in phials? Shoulda known something was up. 

Would you say hypnostimulants were popular at the time? 

At the time? Depends what you mean by popular. People didn’t know about that shit yet. You heard stories, dudes shooting up in the woods upstate, gettin found with their eyeballs exploded. It was early days, ya know? But like, that didn’t happen. That was urban legends. You know who was actually fucking around with the early stuff? Accountants. 

Accountants?

Yeah, you know, the bookkeepers. See,  I’m really just a plumber. I move money from one pipe to another pipe. But instead of wrenches and sprockets or whatever, I use charm. Its pretty easy if you ask me. Imagine if you could just tell water where it already wanted to go. You’re water’s best pal. Nah. It was those nerds in the basement, the spreadsheet guys that figured out how to expense shit so the IRS couldn’t get ya. Those were the fuckers who really dove in. 

What got you using regularly? 

Same shit as everyone else. Makes the job easier. 

How so?

You can feel the money in their pocket. Its like, I dunno how to describe it. Its like…Its like, a turd sitting in a hammock. You can feel how the money bends everything around it. You can see it, smell it. You can hear it over the phone. You can’t ignore it. Shit is nuts. You take enough, and its like you can’t see anything else. Or. No. Its like…You see that you don’t need to see anything else. Money is everything. You’re money. I’m money. Its all just rivers of money flowing through everything. 

By 1973 you were a regular user yes?

Regular makes it sound normal. But yeah I know what you mean. “Regular user.”  76 was the sweet spot. The drugs were good, but the regulators hadn’t stepped up yet. You and some buddies could set up in a club bathroom with nothing but a blindfold and a pile. You ever seen a stock floor with a headfull of that fancy government shit? 

Would you like to discuss the raid? 

No. Not really. 

I understand you were the only one in a sub-emmanation state when Hypnoregulators arrived on the scene. 

I don't want to talk about it. 

Very well then, my associate will be happy to take you to prison as per the agreement you signed. 

Alright alright, Christ. 

Please. In your own words. 

From what I understand, you pulled spade outta bed. Got a confession and everything that morning. 9 fuckin AM, and 200 IRS agents come busting in the doors. I was in the bathroom seeing shit. It's marble lined, lots gold filigree. All that jazz. Special made. Listen. I'm serious about the stock floor shit. Whatever you guys have, it's different than what we had back then. I mean, the shit was still cut with cocaine. A stock floor wasn't a stock floor, it was like…

The raid, please. 

I'm getting to it! You gotta know this shit okay? I need you to understand what you goons fuckin wrecked. It was perfect okay? A garden of Eden . Ripe fruit. Everything just works. You don't have to worry about shit. You're a hunter, a killer, the great fuckin god pan, and the floor is your field of delights. It's like being a beating heart, like being struck by lightning. You can feel the sun in your pocket, and how it's all flowing through everything. And then you fucks showed up. 

It was cold. I felt it first. Like I just threw the biggest party, and mom and dad were coming home early. But you know what I saw? You know those Chinese dragon dancers? Or, lions, or whatever they are? You know how there's two guys in the costume? I saw a dragon, a beast with eyes like the sun, teeth dripping gold, a bunch of IRS suits holding its pelt on their shoulders like you carry your baby home. 

Your statement alluded to some additional information. 

Yeah…there was something else… I dunno how to describe it. The fuckin…eyes, like the sun. Thats how you feel when you're on this shit. You're seein’ gold. I looked into the dragons eyes, and it's like, it's like I saw me. Like I was the dragon, and I was looking at me. Or…no. I was the sun. I was looking at myself. It was like, in that moment I knew something. I learned something. 

What exactly is that?

I dunno. It doesn't fit into words. But like. You aren't regulating shit. 

I'm sorry? 

Yeah. All this shit. The dragon. The field. The dancers. It's all just the sun.

[istherewifiinhell]

Oh man character who is both a train AND a plane? Big win for vehicle fans everywhere.

[birdkittenn]

i need to learn how to play ultrakill like a madman

[inseobts]

Can we get a oneshot the strawhat crew members with a fem reader like the wrestler mizuki? She’s dresses super cutesy but can beat the crap out of her opponent’s without breaking a sweat!!

Sugarbomb Slam!

strawhat crew x fem!reader (platonic)

a/n: omg I honestly didn't know mizuki, so I did some research and watched many photos and video AND OMG SHE'S SO COOL, I love it!! I hope I made the fanfic right tho

words count: 1.3k

tags: platonic, comedy, action, fluff, deceptively cute but deadly

masterlist || ko-fi

The Sunny drifts lazily across a glittering sea, the air warm, the skies clear, too peaceful for pirates this chaotic.

“Oi, Luffy,” Usopp calls from the crow’s nest, peering through binoculars “There’s someone out there… on a floating bunny?”

“Bunny?!” Luffy rockets to the bow of the ship “Let’s go get ‘em!”

“Wait—what?!” Nami shouts, already steering toward the mystery raft.

Sanji’s a blur, heart practically launching from his chest “A ladyyy?! No time to waste!”

Zoro doesn’t move “Sounds like a headache already.”

Within minutes, the crew is gathered around as Franky hauls up the soft, oversized bunny-shaped float.

Perched neatly on top of it is you, sipping a juice box, your boots laced with pink ribbons and your outfit a burst of ruffles and pastel colors. You look more like a candy shop mascot than someone lost at sea.

“Hi!” you chirp, like this is the most normal situation in the world “Thanks for the lift. That whirlpool nearly trashed my hair.”

Luffy tilts his head “Who are you?”

“Y/N the disaster magnet, that’s how people call me” You grin, eyes sparkling “But I make up for it with a cool dropkick.”

Usopp snorts “Wait, you what?”

“Uh-huh.”

Brook tilts his skull “With all due respect, miss… you look more like you wrestle with fashion choices.”

You smile.

And then you casually grab Brook by the collar and flip him overhead. His skull clacks against the deck as he lands flat on his back.

“Respect is earned” you say sweetly, patting your skirt back into place.

The crew freezes.

“Whoa,” Chopper gasps “She didn’t even try…”

“That was… hot!” Sanji whispers, nosebleed creeping in.

Robin chuckles “She’s got flair.”

Franky grins “And moves.”

Luffy’s eyes sparkle “Join my crew!”

“Huh?” You blink “You just met me.”

“You’re strong, you’re cool, and you beat up the skeleton,” he shrugs “That’s good enough for me!”

“I don’t even know where you’re going.”

“Neither do we half the time” Usopp mutters.

You look around. Pirates, but not the burn-and-loot kind. They seem… fun. Maybe even your kind of crazy.

You stretch, cracking your neck “Alright. But only if I get to beat up the next idiot who tries anything funny.”

“Deal!” Luffy laughs.

Zoro closes his eyes “Why do I feel like this one’s gonna be worse than the cook?”

Later on, the Sunny docks at a sleepy little island, just a quick stop for supplies, snacks, and the kind of chaos that always seems to follow the Straw Hats.

You bounce lightly on your heels, hands behind your back. Your puffy boots squeak a little “Alright! Who wants to throw down? Just a little warm-up match!”

Zoro glances up from where he’s leaning against a tree “…Why?”

“Because I need to move or I’ll go insane!” you say brightly “Also, I wanna see what you guys can do. And maybe you’d like to see what I’m capable of doing as well.”

Luffy’s eyes light up “Ooooh! Fight! Yeah, let’s see what you got!”

Sanji steps forward, already loosening his tie “My lady, if it’s a match you want—”

Robin, lounging under an umbrella with a book, raises an eyebrow “You going to break your code for her, Sanji?”

He freezes “…Tch. Damn it.”

You grin “You can’t hit girls, huh?”

“I won’t hit girls,” he says, adjusting his collar “There’s a difference.”

“Well, I respect that.” You crack your knuckles “But I still need a volunteer.”

Usopp immediately points at Zoro “Why not him?”

Zoro scowls “Why me?”

“Because you’re the only one who won’t cry if she throws you through a wall” Nami says, sipping her drink.

You smile “Aw, come on, greenie. Scared I’ll mess up your hair?”

Zoro stands up slowly “Fine. Five minutes. But don’t expect me to go easy just because you’re wearing ribbons.”

“You’re sweet,” you say, taking your stance “But I wouldn’t want you to.”

Five minutes later the crew forms a loose circle around you and Zoro.

He cracks his neck “Last chance to back out.”

You tap your boots together and blow a bubblegum bubble “Nah. You’ll be fine.”

He rushes first… quick, but not reckless. He goes for a clean sweep at your legs.

You jump way higher than anyone expects, twist in mid-air, and come down hard on his shoulders, flipping him flat on his back with a move that should not be humanly possible.

WHAM.

Zoro blinks up at the sky “…The hell was that?”

“A headscissor takedown,” you say, offering a hand “With extra sparkle.”

Luffy howls “YOU’RE SO COOL!”

Chopper’s fur is bristling with excitement “Can she teach us everything?!”

Sanji, conflicted but heart-eyed, mutters, “I’m fine with being kicked if it’s her.”

Robin flips a page in her book “This trip just got more entertaining.”

Zoro accepts your hand, dusting himself off.

“Not bad, but you’re lucky I didn’t fight you with my swords.” he says.

You grin, brushing your skirt back into place “You’re not so bad yourself, greenie.”

Later on you all decide to stroll into the small, quiet island town.

Luffy’s chasing the smell of meat, Nami and Robin are window-shopping, and you’re just enjoying the breeze.

Everything’s peaceful, until a scream cuts through the air.

The crew halts. Your eyes snap toward a side alley.

“What was that?” Chopper asks, ears twitching.

You don’t wait for permission, you’re already sprinting.

You turn the corner just in time to see a woman shoved roughly to the ground by a man with a long coat and bounty tags clinking from his belt. Three others stand nearby, laughing.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” the leader sneers, grabbing the woman by the arm “We were just askin’ a question—”

CRACK.

He steps back, hand now twisted in your grip. You didn’t yell. You didn’t threaten. You just showed up.

Your voice is light “Leave her alone.”

The man snarls “Who the hell are you?”

You smile “Someone who really hates cowards like you and your friends.”

He pulls a knife “You wanna get cute, princess?”

You sigh, glance down at your frilly dress, then back up at him “Too late. I already am.”

Behind you, the rest of the crew rounds the corner.

“What’s going on?” Usopp pants.

The bounty hunters were circle you, laughing like they’ve already won.

You crack your neck and bounce once on your heels.

“Alright,” you say, smiling “Who wants to be first?”

Ten seconds later you launch forward and take the knife guy by the wrist, twist, and throw him overhead. He slams into the ground and doesn’t get up.

The others charge. Bad idea.

You spin into a high kick that flattens the second one against the wall.

The third swings a bat.

You duck, sweep his legs, grab him mid-fall and powerbomb him into the cobblestones.

The alley echoes with the sound of bones hitting stone.

Then silence.

You’re still smiling as you dust off your skirt “Anyone else wanna bully someone smaller than them?”

The first guy groans from the ground “What are you…”

You lean down, voice sweet “I’m Y/N.”

The Straw Hats stare, completely frozen.

Luffy’s mouth hangs open “That. Was. AWESOME.”

Chopper’s eyes sparkle “She was like—bam! And then—WHAM! And then the suplex—!”

Nami blinks “I knew she was strong, but—damn.”

Robin chuckles “She’s holding back more than I thought.”

Usopp points “She... she was faster than Sanji to react at that scream. And did you guys see that? She broke the ground!”

Sanji clutches his chest “She’s… so perfect…I am totally in love!”

Zoro grins for real this time “Alright. She’s one of us.”

You turn back to the woman, gently helping her up.

“Are you okay?” you ask softly, brushing dust from her dress.

She nods, eyes wide “T-Thank you…”

You smile again bright, gentle, sweet as sugar.

“Of course. Guys like that piss me off.”

You twirl back to your crewmates like nothing happened “So... lunch?”

[ditzydoe444]

hi lovely, me again!

this time one thing i can’t get out of my mind is reader with a high sex drive. light sky rocket high. she wants him aaaaaall the time, and it’s basically constantly jumping on him and wanting something.

and to him she’d be such a pathetic little thing. humping things around without even noticing because she is so horny she can’t help herself! and she’d literally beg for jason to fuck her, no matter where. he wants her mouth? she is taking it, better than nothing. ass? sure! make it hurt so she can use the pain as a reminder that she actually got fucked.

sometimes he’d feel guilty and like he broke this sweet young girl into basically a nymphomaniac? yes. but after she looks at him with those sweet eyes and literally begs to be filled, he is only man and can’t say no…

-🎸 (sorry if i got carried away, love ya!)

MDNI 18+

jason todd x reader

—ㅤ꒰ྀིㅤ jason todd x reader ಿৎ

▐ vaginal sex, fingering, unprotected sex, brief mentions of cream pie, oral (m) receiving, humping, slight mentions of corruption??

you were a horny mess constantly, jumping into jason’s arms the moment he got home because he looked too good after a long day of fixing cars. you would snuggle into the crook of his neck and inhale his musky scent, slightly smoky, with a hint of petrol smell from the garage. the scent drove you wild. you whined as you wrapped your arms around his neck tightly, giving him wet kisses along his neck as you begged him to fill you up.

when you wanted it constantly, you wanted it constantly. even when jason was driving on the highway, you on the passenger seat as you placed his free hand on your clothed cunt. “please jay, just the fingers,” you pleaded your eyes wide and innocent as if you didn’t just get fucked right before you got into his truck. though jason could never refuse you, his fingers knuckle deep as you watched them glisten with your arousal, your cunt making the most lewd noises.

you didn’t care as long as you had something filled. so it meant sucking jason off after date night when he drove back home, you bent over the console as your nose was close to his pubes, your hand stroking his fat cock. “let me take care of you yeah?” you whispered as you lazily kissed along his cock, before planting a wet kiss on his sensitive tip. jason loved it, the way you felt drove him insane, your mouth all loving and warm just for him.

you were always so accomodating, allowing him to fuck you anywhere even in your ass. “ok jay,” you beamed, already bent over with your plump ass up in the air ready for him the moment he said he’d do it. essentially, you were his own personal toy, and there was nothing more satisfying than seeing his cum leak out of every single hole. mouth, cunt, ass.

sometimes, he would make you beg and work for it; after all, he can’t spoil his girl all the time can he? this made you hump every single damn surface, pillow, bed, edge of the couch, you name it.

though at times he felt guilty, the way he turned you from a neighbourhood sweetheart, all innocent and sweet to a horny mess who needed to be filled. but after all, a man needs attention.

[cryptotheism]

You know where the word cocaine comes from? Its Quechua. Just the name of the damn plant. I think it was 1971, maybe 72. I dunno- 

Could you start at the beginning?

Huh? Yeah, sure. Course. Uhh. Lets see…

Take your time. 

Woof. Lets see…I started in uhhh, 72. Some tiny little bottle-rocket firm sweatin for talent, head broker was this big red fatass named Ron Spade, hell of a guy, but the place got bought out by Bear Stearns in 73 when the shit really hit the fan. It was a rough time to be on a trade floor. IRS just put out the whole hypnoeconomics thing. Half the big firms were runnin’ around with their hair on fire, the other half felt invincible. Every day was a party. Party party party. 

Was that your first interaction with hypnostimulants? 

I guess. Its funny. First guy to give me quori was a cop. 

You mean an agent of the FDA? 

No no, like an old fashioned NYPD beat cop. Met him in the bathroom at Pink during a bender. Moron was so faded he thought I was his informant. Just gave me a phial. 

And you tried it?

Not right away no. To be honest I thought it was kinda faggy. Sorry. Its just what I thought at the time. The shit was sparkly, you know? What kinda drug comes in phials? Shoulda known something was up. 

Would you say hypnostimulants were popular at the time? 

At the time? Depends what you mean by popular. People didn’t know about that shit yet. You heard stories, dudes shooting up in the woods upstate, gettin found with their eyeballs exploded. It was early days, ya know? But like, that didn’t happen. That was urban legends. You know who was actually fucking around with the early stuff? Accountants. 

Accountants?

Yeah, you know, the bookkeepers. See,  I’m really just a plumber. I move money from one pipe to another pipe. But instead of wrenches and sprockets or whatever, I use charm. Its pretty easy if you ask me. Imagine if you could just tell water where it already wanted to go. You’re water’s best pal. Nah. It was those nerds in the basement, the spreadsheet guys that figured out how to expense shit so the IRS couldn’t get ya. Those were the fuckers who really dove in. 

What got you using regularly? 

Same shit as everyone else. Makes the job easier. 

How so?

You can feel the money in their pocket. Its like, I dunno how to describe it. Its like…Its like, a turd sitting in a hammock. You can feel how the money bends everything around it. You can see it, smell it. You can hear it over the phone. You can’t ignore it. Shit is nuts. You take enough, and its like you can’t see anything else. Or. No. Its like…You see that you don’t need to see anything else. Money is everything. You’re money. I’m money. Its all just rivers of money flowing through everything. 

By 1973 you were a regular user yes?

Regular makes it sound normal. But yeah I know what you mean. “Regular user.”  76 was the sweet spot. The drugs were good, but the regulators hadn’t stepped up yet. You and some buddies could set up in a club bathroom with nothing but a blindfold and a pile. You ever seen a stock floor with a headfull of that fancy government shit? 

Would you like to discuss the raid? 

No. Not really. 

I understand you were the only one in a sub-emmanation state when Hypnoregulators arrived on the scene. 

I don't want to talk about it. 

Very well then, my associate will be happy to take you to prison as per the agreement you signed. 

Alright alright, Christ. 

Please. In your own words. 

From what I understand, you pulled spade outta bed. Got a confession and everything that morning. 9 fuckin AM, and 200 IRS agents come busting in the doors. I was in the bathroom seeing shit. It's marble lined, lots gold filigree. All that jazz. Special made. Listen. I'm serious about the stock floor shit. Whatever you guys have, it's different than what we had back then. I mean, the shit was still cut with cocaine. A stock floor wasn't a stock floor, it was like…

The raid, please. 

I'm getting to it! You gotta know this shit okay? I need you to understand what you goons fuckin wrecked. It was perfect okay? A garden of Eden . Ripe fruit. Everything just works. You don't have to worry about shit. You're a hunter, a killer, the great fuckin god pan, and the floor is your field of delights. It's like being a beating heart, like being struck by lightning. You can feel the sun in your pocket, and how it's all flowing through everything. And then you fucks showed up. 

It was cold. I felt it first. Like I just threw the biggest party, and mom and dad were coming home early. But you know what I saw? You know those Chinese dragon dancers? Or, lions, or whatever they are? You know how there's two guys in the costume? I saw a dragon, a beast with eyes like the sun, teeth dripping gold, a bunch of IRS suits holding its pelt on their shoulders like you carry your baby home. 

Your statement alluded to some additional information. 

Yeah…there was something else… I dunno how to describe it. The fuckin…eyes, like the sun. Thats how you feel when you're on this shit. You're seein’ gold. I looked into the dragons eyes, and it's like, it's like I saw me. Like I was the dragon, and I was looking at me. Or…no. I was the sun. I was looking at myself. It was like, in that moment I knew something. I learned something. 

What exactly is that?

I dunno. It doesn't fit into words. But like. You aren't regulating shit. 

I'm sorry? 

Yeah. All this shit. The dragon. The field. The dancers. It's all just the sun. 

[joedirtymadre]

Your First Fight

Headcanon 🫶 (Pls send more requests)

LUFFY + ZORO + SANJI + LAW + ACE + SABO

LUFFY

“I don’t get why you’re so mad at me,” he said as he watched you pace around the room. “Are you serious? I asked you to stay behind on the ship, because you know this island is known to be a common Navy stop! All I needed was to grab some herbs and plants for the garden and who do I see rocketing into the middle of the plaza?” You asked, knowing damn well who it was. “Me…” he replied softly. “Exactly! I asked you to stay behind and watch the ship with the others! Why can’t you do the simplest of tasks?” You yelled. “So what if I left? I got bored, and why are you trying to tell me what to do?! If you want me to remind you, I’m your captain! You listen to me!” He yelled back.

“Well it obviously doesn’t look like it, since you were hurling at max speed into a Navy base island without a care in the world! Grow up! I asked you to stay behind because we had others who needed to stock up on supplies, which means you had to stay behind and make sure we’re not discovered or the ship isn’t hijacked!” You yelled. “We would have been fine! We always escape, so why are you so mad at me?” He asked. “Just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t. Plus I asked you to do something and you just ignored it,” You replied. “Well if you want to boss people around so much, go find your own ship. Maybe you’ll be a better captain,” he said coldly as he walked out of the bedroom.

ZORO

“Hey stop!” You called out to your boyfriend. You were both currently lost… or he was lost, you knew where to go, but Zoro wasn’t listening. “Zoro, I told you a billion times that the ship is the other way,” you said. “I know where it is! You don’t need to babysit me, I’m not a little kid,” he sighed. “I’m not trying to,” you said. “Well it feels like it… like I can’t take a break,” he grumbled. “Ok… but why are you so upset? I’m just giving you dire-“ he cut you off. “Because you’re always doing this!” He shouted as he stopped and looked at you.

“Huh?” You asked. “You’re always… suffocating me. I can never have a moment to myself, ever since we started dating. It’s like you’re a leech and I can never get rid of you for 5 seconds,” he groaned. “Oh…” your voice cracked. “I didn’t m-mean…” you trailed off. “Wait… (Y/N), I didn’t mean all that. I’m just-“ you cut him off. “No… it’s fine, I understand… You just want some space…I’ll head back to the ship, I’ll see you there,” you said as you turned on your heels and ran towards the ship. “(Y/N)!” You heard as you continued to run off.

SANJI

You slowly approached your boyfriend, excited to help him with whatever he needs. “Hey!” You smiled. “Hi beautiful, how are you?” He smiled back. “I’m great, so what are we making today?” You asked. “Nami-swan asked if I could make her some fruit tarts so I’ll be preparing that for her,” he smiled. “Mind if I help? If you finish quickly we can go-“ he cut you off. “Sorry (Y/N), but I’d hate for this to be messed up. It’s better if I do it alone,” he explained.

“Oh… but I normally help you in the kitchen, why can’t I help you with this one?” You asked, confused. “To make sure it’s perfect for my Nami-swan! Plus, you still haven’t mastered certain techniques, and I’d hate for this treat to not be perfect for my beloved Nami,” he swooned. “Seriously?” You huffed. “I didn’t mean to offend you my love, I was just answering your question,” he replied as he began preparing the dessert. “Ok fine, I’ll get out of your way. Maybe your beloved Nami will come help you out in the future,” you said coldly and began walking out of the kitchen. “(Y/N)! Hey! Wait!” He called out, but you continued to your bedroom.

LAW

“(Y/N) you’ve been at that for the past 6 hours, it’s time to take a break,” Law said as he watched you continue to try to fix the electrical issue that’s been causing problems with the motor. “But I can’t just stop now… what if the motor stops when we’re trying to escape from someone?” You asked, feeling frustrated by the uncooperative wires. “Come on, maybe you need some fresh air. We’ve been ducked at this island for a whole day and you haven’t even looked outside to see it,” he sighed. “Well I’m sorry that I’m trying to fix your ship!” You huffed. “That’s fine, but you need a break,” he said.

“Well I don’t want a break, what I want to do is fix this stupid thing!” You groaned. “And I really don’t need someone breathing down my neck when I’m trying to do something!” You added. “I’m just trying to look out for you, but if you’re gonna act like this then I’m leaving,” he said softly and headed towards the exit. “Good, maybe I’ll finally be able to fix this,” you glared as he walked out.

ACE

“Come on babe, are you really still mad at me?” Ace asked as he followed you to your bedroom. “What makes you think that?” You asked as you tried to shut the door in his face, but he quickly stopped it and stepped in. “That’s why,” he frowned. “Just making sure to close the door behind me,” you said as you gave a tight smile. “Come on, what’s the big deal? I’m sorry I left without telling you,” he said as he tried to hold you. “You just don’t understand,” you huffed as you brushed off his embrace. “Then tell me,” he said as he sat on your bed.

“What if you died?” You said bluntly. “Well… that’s being optimistic…” Ace said awkwardly. “I’m serious, what if you died? You really left without me knowing, and sure you made it back safe, but what if next time you’re not so lucky? And I end up finding out my boyfriend died in the middle of the sea, and I couldn’t even say goodbye to him…” you said softly. “Ok, ok… well I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left. Even though you know I’ll always be safe. So, forgive me now?” He smiled. “No, because you’re not taking me seriously!” You groaned. “Why are you still mad at me? I said, " I'm sorry, don’t worry so much!” He yelled back. “I worry because I love you, but if you’re so dense, then just get out! I don’t know why I even put up with you. When it obviously shows how little you care about my feelings!” You shouted as you pushed Ace out of your room. “Wait, (Y/N) I’m sorry! Let’s keep-“ but you cut his words off with the door.

SABO

“Sabo~” you cooed. “Yes (Y/N)?” He replied. “I’m bored, can you please put the book down for a second and let’s go walk around the island or grab something to eat?” You asked hopefully. “Not today, plus you know we’re not supposed to be venturing out when he has to be on duty,” he explained. “I know, but we both get and hour break from standing guard and you’ve been spending each break reading. Can’t we do something, the two of us? Together?” You added. “Why? We’re spending time together right now,” he rolled his eyes.

Your eyes fell to the floor, “Alright,” you said softly as you headed back to the base. “What’s wrong?” Sabo called out. “Nothing, just gonna head inside,” you replied. You heard footsteps behind you, “What’s wrong? Tell me,” he said as he grabbed your arm. “Sabo we’ve been here for 2 weeks and you don’t want to do any normal couple stuff with me? Not even for an hour?” You asked. “(Y/N) you know-“ you cut him off. “Yeah I know, I also know how hard it is to have a relationship in our positions, but that didn't stop you from asking me out… Plus… I’ve seen you go out with Koala on a few occasions, you didn’t seem to have an issue with the rules then,” you glared. He quickly released your arm. “Hold on, you’re misunderstanding that (Y/N). You know Koala and I-“ you cut him off once again. “I know, but it doesn't mean you’re off having fun with another girl. While your real girlfriend is stuck here watching you read a book,” you said softly before turning on your heels and heading back towards the base.