#I need to finally play something else
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After 300 hours of playtime (waaay past my point of hyperfixation which is not a good idea tbh) I gotta really put this game to rest. I'm coming dangerously close to becoming bitter about things that don't really matter or that are not a big deal. This game gave me a huge amount of content I enjoy immensely and it's better to focus on that than dwell on what could've been.
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sorry I know basically no one on tumblr watches this show, but its sO crazy what apple tv did with mythic quest. force-mandela-effecting the entire audience in the span of a week. you saw the main characters full on new-girl-nick-jess-in-the-hallway make out except no you didn't. that never happened. look at the episode again. see? they just hug. we've been telling you this was always about platonic love. you think they kissed? where's your proof
#mythic quest spoilers#we recorded dash diaries today#and I talked about this#and I'm still not over it#mythic quest#cher DO NOT LOOK AT THIS POST#(she still needs to watch the end of the season)#you guys don't understand#the finale aired#the two main characters KISS#that's the CLIFFHANGER#and then#show gets canceled#so they go back and TAKE OUT THE KISS AND PUT SOMETHING ELSE IN#and the original ending isn't even a bonus clip or anything!!!!!!!#INSANE!!!!!#sorry i was always a lowkey poppy/ian shipper#so I was THRILLED#and then bummed to not see it play out in the next season#but to take it out!?!?!#nuts
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perhaps my most #cancelable videogame take i can post on this website is i think that the kind of people who say that anyone who picks the "morally wrong" or "mean" options in video game dialogue should, as a player, feel bad about their own choices/morals in real life. is that those people are just another flavor of the kind of dudes who play Disco Elysium and get mad for not being rewarded for picking the facist options. both of these groups are reducing games to "a thing I want to agree with me and everyone else who doesn't either suffers or does not have the option to play a character who behaves otherwise" rather than "a medium where you get to (or even Have to) explore different kinds of characters in order to experience the full depth of the story and characters in it."
When I want to pick options in a game that are mean, negative, arrogant, or ignorant, it's because I want to explore what would push a character into becoming that kind of person. Sometimes I want to see how the NPC characters who I-The-Player like/agree with react to someone who is fundamentally different from them. I think it's GOOD actually when the narrative allows you to push limits and especially when it has the option to then punish you for it in some way, such as losing options/routes later on, or companions straight up abandoning you for your choices. It DOES often make me deeply, viscerally uncomfortable to make choices in a game that are so counter to my own, but it means I get to experience that discomfort in an isolated environment and also think about what it means, what would push the character or even yes a real person into actually feeling those things. And I get to play with what ways the narrative could challenge them/make them grow over the course of the game--or on the other side, it can let me make a character who does start off more open/accepting but let the events of the narrative push them into being more reactively closed-minded instead.
I like that we have invented a medium where you can play a game multiple times and experience it differently depending on the character you play as. Books and TV and movies are all static--the greatest draw of games to me is the ones that are responsive, that can tell a slightly different story every time--when other characters in the game respond differently to you because of it, or some paths open up and others don't. And so yes it did disappointment me when a franchise that previously had these elements, Dragon Age, did not include them in the most recent installment. I don't think games should have options where you get to just hit a button to say something racist with no consequences or exploration into why a character would do that. but like, if i can only ever play a game as an upstanding person who is morally right all the time in basically the same flavor for every dialogue. I only get to truly play that game Once, you know? And I only get to see the way the companions react to someone they like and trust. And never really go deeper than that.
So like... I just sit and think about the scenes you can get in Inquisition. with Cassandra breaking down, because she fears she placed a would-be tyrant at the head of a powerful organization--that she searched and searched and chose wrong. Of Varric who is desperate to convince you not to become a monster, like the last person he feels betrayed him. Vivienne intentionally pissing you off because she wants to see how far you'll go when angered, how much she has to worry about your reactions. They say so much about the companions, what they fear most, and where they will draw the line. And especially in Inquisition, at these crisis points--you don't have to double down. Your character can have a come-to-Andraste moment where they go "woah... is that really how people see me? is this what i want?" and I think that kind of option can do way more for encouraging actual players to examine the choices they make in stories, more than locking the player into supportive, non-aggressive options does.
now. do i think all games execute these flavors well? no. writers and devs will have their own biases and blind spots, even if they are otherwise well-intentioned. and I don't think the ends of the scale need to extend from "absolute angel" to "horrible bigot", because the real complexity of course lies in the middle. I am not asking for games to let me be bigoted at every turn, what I want is games that let me make the protagonist deeply flawed in one or more ways--fearfully closed-minded to things outside their upbringing, or afraid of change to the status quo, or who want to advance their own aims regardless of consequences to others. I actually agree that the game was correct not to include any options for disrespecting Taash and their personal journey for example, but I do wish... idk maybe that we could have had a scene where if for instance the player character avoided outside-world missions relating to clearing away blight, they could confront us on how this might devastate the natural world and its creatures like dragons, and push us into trying to resolve it. Or in the other direction, if you spend the (currently meaningless) time giving money to background NPCs begging in the cities, Neve could could have a special cutscene thanking you for your attention to people otherwise beneath notice. You know?
And of course not every game can do this, I can write those sentences up there that represent hundreds of hours of dev time, of course they can't do it all. But the prior games usually did have at least a little of this, and that was enough to make me really fall in love. I KNOW the tumultuous development cycle, restarts from scratch, interference from higher-ups all contributed to why Veilguard was unable to hit those same marks this time. And we probably won't ever know how much of the loss of options/reactivity was intention vs a side effect of these things. But I wish people wouldn't frame players who miss these aspects as insane/morally corrupt. When for most of us it's because we genuinely enjoy challenging and exploring these aspects of reality in fiction in a way entirely unlike what we actually support in real life. i fully acknowledge not everyone desires to play this way. and that's fine!!! i am glad people can enjoy doing a "good" run each time that brings them joy. but for me it really limits the potential bounds of my enjoyment i guess. I like media that is complicated and messy and makes me think, and extra so when I get to see how playing that way impacts the greater story around it.
#idk man. i need to stop writing the same damn post over and over i know. i just Keep Seeing That Shit Again you see#its my own failing. to think that 'but if you listen to me this time and see my perspective you'll finally Get It'#when like other ppl are just not interested in that. we simply come to games for different things#but seeing posts that say 'it says a LOT about a player who chooses x' well maybe it Doesn't Actually. reflect their real life at all#there are of course going to be bad actors everywhere. but instead of turning them into Boogymen and accusing each other#i wish that conversations could just be taken in good faith that Some People Desire Different Things#without having to somehow be bad people for disagreeing with you#veilguard critical#datv critical#dav critical#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#ramblings#i don't Hate veilguard by any means. i enjoyed the game play and like many other aspects of it and i love the characters#i just wish we got to see more sides of them and who they could be when pushed to extremes#like we did the last games#'jade these thoughts belong in a DM with your besties not tumblr' well alas neither of them Wanted to play veilguard bc of the above#so here i am with nowhere else to go besides my personal tumblr ot get it out 😞#the worst thing a piece of media can be to me is Uninteresting. because at least something that's Nasty has something its trying to say
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“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when
#mu qing xie lian hua cheng and Ling Wen in a San FranTokyo court of law needs to happen#Hua Cheng is the guy who became a lawyer to chase a boy. he would be a defense attorney too#Xie Lian is a lawyer because of his natural strong sense of justice and he would probably be a prosecutor too based on his track record#it’s not a perfect parallel but you know what I mean#xie lian is still so phoenix wright by nature but hes just a prosecutor now. they both have survived a multitude of near-death experiences#Hua cheng plays a natural game where he only bites back if something is worth his time and doesnt usually seek trouble.#therefore hes the most ruthless defense attorney you've ever seen. he would update the autopsy report#you could also argue that xie lian would still be a defense attorney if you consider the way phoenix uncovers truth within his defense#and then ends up sending someone else to jail in the end. which happens very often#mu Qing started off as a prosecutor but Xie Lian said he would be a better defense attorney and he was right#Feng Xin is the. uh. bailiff. or something#judge jun wu#Ling wen is like the final boss of witnesses. that brocade immortal scene where xie lian absolutely fakes her tf out is so iconic#unless ling wen is gumshoe just much much less silly goofy#does anybody have that one edgeworth art where its. i ask the witness a question. i press them. they lie. they go to hell#if you do PLEASE dm me im begging you i need it#the wind master is maya holy shit what if#banyue is pearl#no-face von karma...... qi rong franziska......#again its Not a perfect parallel by any means but the spirit is here#rb with your tgcf lawyer headcannons#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#mu qing
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if one were to write an au in which nico doesn’t retire, do we think he would be able to win another championship
#let’s say he doesn’t retire because the satisfaction after the win doesn’t arrive#yk when you wait for a thing your whole life but once you reach it it’s not enough and you keep waiting for something bigger#something like that#maybe there’s a fear of not being able to be anything else#maybe there’s still that desperate need to prove yourself#he probably can’t have a daughter for this au to work#since family played a fundamental role in his retirement#anyway#it’s like a big if but it can be imagined#if the right cards are played#having said this#2017 he comes back and it’s like 2016 but if 2016 was brutal 2017 is going to be… devastating probably#maybe the desperation is even more intense#not an hunger to win as much as an hunger to prove a point#still tho he races and he races to win#does he win?#I think in another life he could’ve been a multiple WDC winner but circumstances led him to really get drastic in order to win one#so idk if there’s anything left to give for a second one#how much can his mind and his body take before they start self destructing#i like thinking about this au instead of studying#I kinda have 2018 planned out (the ultimate breakdown the final detonation the END)#but idk about 2017 not really#also what would be the relationship between Nico and Lewis in 2017 bc I fear things coukd get DARK lmao#look at me YAPPING#screaming into the void about an au I’ll never write#anyway if you have any thoughts about it let me know#nico rosberg#brocedes#my aus#kinda
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in a world where the dungeon meshi cast are playing a ttrpg. did shuro just like inexplicably get roped in one day and he just. kept showing up
#hes like theres an expectation that i be there every week now i Have to go........#ohhhdbbxd wait wait wait i gotta draw this. shuro bursting out with I DONT EVEN LIKE TABLE TOP RPGS#laios. devastated.....#OH ok so. falin needs to take a break for smth so her character gets killed off for a bit#and at that point shuro is into falin and thinks ok thats the final straw im ditching for a while.#but then he finds himself??? missing it????#he probably experiences a lot of pressure from his parents to like. get into smth rly tough#law or medicine or some shit lmao. and his dad harangues him about socialising more#so playing ttrpgs was both a way of socialising but also an escape from that pressure#he eventually comes back even knowing falin wasnt back yet#and while he explodes with the not liking ttrpgs thing. he has to admit hes having fun and likes being there at least somewhat#and maybe.... has to admit he likes laios more than he lets on wndnxjxjdj???#BECAUSE HE DIDNT START OUT LIKING FALIN EVEN IN CANON REMEMBER!!!!!#so something Else had been keeping him there at first...
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comparison!! yuu as I drew him in 2024, february 5th; and this panel from my latest post that just so happened to be drawn in february 5th 2025...
it has been a full year since i started to draw re:kinder like crazy www when drawing yuu i'd always reference one of my own drawings of him for consistency, yet even the way i draw him changed quite a lot www
but im very happy with it😊😊 thought id share this since im amused by the evolution of it
#my art#re:kinder#yuuichi mizuoka#that also happened to be the starting point where i started to draw rekinder like crazy#not the first time i drew it#but it was when my mind had finally set on. “yo...this...this is so peak i need to draw it really bad i have so many visions”#god bless you rekinder and thank you mr parun#imma be so real i have. GENUINELY no idea what i would be drawing if i hadnt played rekinder#what i was into drawing a lot beforehand was Earthbound but. unfortunate events happened that. kind off have soured it for me#even now im still shaken up by thay so . i dont think i would have really gone back to drawing it as intensely imma be real#so with that YEAH i have no idea what id be doing?? drawing my ocs maybe idk but what would i be doing with my brain#rekinder has become such a big comfort and part of my life now that its hard to imagine howd it be if i didnt play it#like indulging in something that comforts me in that way really helped me cope with my illness so. i genuinely dont know what id been doin#anyway fun fact i think its very apparent but the only thin that has stayed the exactly th3 same is the color scheme#which may sound strange but whenever i draw a new character im not one to color pick much rather i pick colors out for myself#in some cases its for value adjustments where id see it fit but mostly i think picking my colors making them my own is part of my style www#dunt know how to explain it but point is the colors have stayed exactly the same www#ITS FUNNT BECAUSE I STILL FOLLOW THE SAME METHODOLOGY I DID WHEN DRAWIN YUU LAST YEAR#i know visually they look different but i see my art with my hands#like. im not good at all remembering things visually and the way i make things stick is via hands and the way ive drawn yuu is the same#hand memory disc.... i think a good chunk of my long term memory is registered through my hands#i think if my hands were to be chopped off i would forget how to speak#but does that imply that if my hands were to be consumed or sewed onto someone elses arms they would gain the knowledge i save there#or is my elbow or full arm is needed to achieve that connection... like what if the rest of the arm if like. the torso to the brain of the h
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Ow
#The magnus archives final episode#The more I sit with it the better it gets I think#Very good very bittersweet very sad#The fucking hubris of Jon i was wincing throughout the whole first part of it cuz u can see it coming from a mile off#And you just sit there knowing he's been played and what that's gonna mean for martin#Oof ouch#Such a good series so well worth the time#I'm a narrative podcast truther now#And Jonathan sims continues to deliver as a very good writer#Fantastic performances as well even if basiras actor sounded like she had something wrong with her Mike??#Like she just sounded weirdly echoey and low quality compared to everyone else????#Wonder if there were some tech issues or smthn#It's tricky cuz is love to give it a relisten but also I know I'm gonna need to wait at least a year for smthn as big as this#Before I'm ready for a relisten#I've got protocol and all the q&as to listen to n stuff#Also possibly check out redacted and penumbra cuz they're the other ones I heard a lot about#But I'm glad I checked out tma#And I'm glad that despite all the fanart I've seen I wasn't really spoiled for anything lmao#I knew ceasless watcher quote n that Jon would be less human by the end than at the beginning#But those are very non specific in the grand scheme#I don't even think any of my friends really do podcasts I need someone else to listen to this lmaooooo rip
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I FINISHED TOWER 4
Now I have to decide if I want to relisten to Camp Here & There or watch Jack's Schedule I series :)
#the thing is:#i wanna watch supernatural and see cas because i haven't done that in like a week#but i need to let my adhd play minecraft before i can do anything else in the day#but i don't know which of these two medias i want to consume to complement my minecraft rn#schedule I is really good but i've been kinda using it as my thing i watch that doesn't require that much brain power#so i usually watch it like after 10 pm when i'm exhausted#and I definitely SHOULD relisten to chnt#i relistened to like the first 7 episodes in one day and loved it#but then really grinded out listening to tower 4 and haven't listened to any chnt since#i know i'll love it :)#and the second season is out now so i'm ready to be able to listen to that but idk#we see lol#tower 4#tower 4 season 3 finale#tower 4 3x11#tower 4 season 3 recap#something new#camp here and there#camp here & there#chnt#jacksepticeye#jacksepticeye schedule I#jse
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technically alan wake 2 final draft (spoilers ahead) is a Happy ending for the characters, but the spiral writers room video calling his enlightened self a possible demiurge or demon unsettled me far more than the original ending. that version, by his nature, already existing and overlapping with past loops, influencing and manipulating things without known reasons (to us and the Alan we play). it really makes that Alan out to be something else entirely through ascension and that this is inevitable. this could partially be because I kept seeing people say that the final draft was the happy end with a happy resolution for everyone, but I can’t stop thinking about what this means for Alan—and Alice!—going forward. That, along with the direct parallels to Yötön Yö playing out. It’s SO much to unpack
#final draft spoilers#alan wake 2 spoilers#alan wake 2#I’m repeating myself in my aw2 posts about the ending but I reeeeaally love the first ending#and I’ve come around to liking the final draft but trying to wrap my head around it#and would love to know if anyone has specific thoughts on the yötön yö callbacks or master of worlds/demon thing#I’ve seen some interpretations that alice literally is the bullet of light coexisting with alan. or that maybe he’ll become an antagonist#but idk if I agree with those. but there’s a lot that the final draft opens up#and it is a Little funny to me that it’s considered the more positive or conclusive ends#apart from Logan answering the call—everything else leaves far more to question#the first end is very ‘Alan is stuck in a spiral and needs to ascend w the help of saga and Alice’#but the final draft. all the worlds are Alan’s oyster. who is he and what will he do. i have no idea#and all the ascension and becoming something else while playing the roles of yötön yö still make the entire thing feel slightly off#in a way that’s good btw. i like that the final draft is less clear and not a generic happy end than I assumed from all the buzz around it#like maybe aw3 or control 2 will roll around and he’ll just be like Mr Door and he’s just more aware of his powers#but for now I enjoy the questionable aspects of this happy end for alan and alice#😃 <- me after discussing the endings of aw2 extensively over multiple posts#also feel like i should say that I don’t think alan will be. evil or anything#it’s just the aw2 of identity and change that fascinates me with what ascension means for alan :’)
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been reaaaaaally struggling with the whole disabled thing as of late
#i just got back from my trip and my god i just. the reason i like going home or going on these trips or whatever is because i have help.#i don’t have help whenever i’m at home and it’s fucking exhausting. i live by myself and while i love that autonomy it’s not feasible#i definitely need help on the living day to day end of things and for the majority of my life i just thought of it as#i like people doing stuff for me so i have no responsibilities which like. fair. living is hard. but like…no it’s not just that#there’s this whole other disability layer and it’s so clear when i live with someone else for even just a few days#i currently live by myself because i really do hate roommates and i’m not a good one but like. goddamn. maybe it’s time?#maybe i go back to having a roommate idk. i just. now that im understanding that i’m actually disabled it’s hard to#come back from a trip and not notice the difference you know?#also on another note very tough to see everyone like. already finished with sunrise on the reaping and i know it’s gonna take my ass a month#minimum to finish that book. easily. and like. idk that just sucks! cause i wanna talk i wanna engage but usually no one waits#idk i just. it really fucking sucks. people have always been ‘smarter’ than me because hey howdy hey i have a learning disability but i#didn’t know that’s actually what it was for years so i just kinda. didn’t speak up? and then now when i finally have an idea#i’m second guessing myself because no what if i got it wrong what if i read it wrong#like. it’s just not great and it’s really hitting me today just how fucking disabled i am and how that’s impacted my life drastically#anyway. it’s been rough mentally so i’m gonna do some laundry which is surprisingly a simple thing for me usually#and then relax by playing zelda or writing idk which. maybe both???#ask to tag idk if y’all want something extra on this.#i'm rambling again aren't i
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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feel like playing around with christopher's design but i feel like if i change anything major about the way he looks someone or something will explode me
#im not bored with him or anything he's just like a doll to me i like playing around with him#he's got the bit of fat on him he's got his bird beak of a nose his prematurely graying hair his fucked up scarring#he looks god awful when he truly laughs and it's so endearing#christopher being kinda 'ugly' is something i need to lean more into he's just kind of a fucked up immortal and should look it#my weird trans gay son who i made when i was 10 years old and finally settled into himself like 15 years ago#his future husband on the other hand big bear of a beautiful man the most sought after bachelor of the city-state that is helimire#idc about making conventionally anything characters (fandom or ocs). everyone else does that. i don't need to#i could make him fatter. i could always make him fatter <- im saying this about every character design ever#oc shit
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Yo is respawn expecting me to start paying REAL MONEY for the battle pass? Absolutely not. I would glady spend some hours playing the game to progress the battle pass with my tokens I earned in the battle pass. But having me buy it? Nah. Wtf is this fortnite? Valorant? Yuck. Looks like The Finals is my last hope of free battle pass.
#apex legends#it is one of the things i LOATHE about these games#it's never worth it to buy the battlepass unless you can actively earn some sort of game currency that allows you to spend on the battlepas#i simply wont do it#it's why i stopped playing ow and val because oh look i would rather spend my time on something else#The finals please dont become them#The outlast trials introduced a battlepass and so far no real money needed but i swear if it happens#Axed#The Finals#apex
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Gonna get rekt tomorrow so no art today
#i wanna see more gab plush and rhino heirloom...#i mean. its not like people are not drawing them or something#but i seriously need a bazillion amount of their content#i would say if i cant get them then ill do it myself. you know. like what im literally doing for like 2 years#but i cant do that now. i finally (kinda) finished my presentation ppt at 11:30pm and for the rest of time im gonna play wf#sigh#i wish i can draw much faster than i do now#then i can at least draw something i wanna see even in this situation#anyway. i wanna play games now and tbh you cant really do much else during titania relic farming…#OR CAN I?????#(idk)#ramble
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Just pick whichever option you did most!
Tell me about your minecraft memories in the notes! /nf
#I personally used to play with the music off and I typically had something else playing on youtube in another tab.#I still wish I could go back to that time#hopefully i can soon since i plan on buying myself a copy of java so i can finally play properly for the first time#(had a dad who “brought” us minecraft one time when my sister and i were little)#i have never played java edition with horses#thats how long ago this was. i still wish we had all those files so i cluld look through my old worlds#id probably cry over seeing them again lol#i plan on trying to re-create a house i built in creative way bacl then#need to get a shit ton of obsidion and find a jungle biome (the entire house was made of almost exclusively obsidion)#minecraft#nostalgia#poll#tumblr polls
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