#I need to move them in a apartment
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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hear me out
(bonus sister philippa)
#if ppl like this maybe i’ll draw them together hehe just girls doing girly things together#or just do more sister phil in general#however if this is a flop i’m not drawing this fuckass outfit ANY more than i have to#like detailed anyway#ugh it’s 3am#i have tit in 16 hours#an entire apartment to deep clean#and 5 hours to sleep before i need to get shit GOING#why do i procrastinate everything#whatever at least i got some good art out of it#art2 and craft2#phanart#amazingphil#phil lester#move over sister daniel it’s time for#sister phil#or sister philippa ?#i feel like philip is a priest like father daniel doesn’t work either tbh he’d be father dan#or maybe pastor dan#ew no actually i knew like 3 pastor dans#WHY AM I YAPPING GO TO SLEEL#p#dnp#dan and phil
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Part of 🟢 Leo gets Overwhelmed au🟢
Aah, I’m so happy I made it in in time! 💙✨ Merry Christmas, tumblr nation! Here’s a little comic about 03 Usagi and Leo going so see the Rockefeller tree after the events of the Christmas Aliens episode.
Little post about events earlier that night
Also this is literally how maskless Leo looks to me, he’s so moomincore ;
#leosagi#katana shipping#03 leosagi#leo gets overwhelmed au#tmnt 2003#03 tmnt#03 leonardo#03 usagi#ens tmnt 03#I need a tag for this#cause I have more of this timeline in my drafts#merry Christmas loves#may this year be a good one#I’ve been watching old romantic comedies with my mom while drawing this#can you tell#also fun fact#it’s been in my drafts since like march?#I just wanted to draw something cute#that’s why they’re also extra round and squishy#also#got engaged last week#so I feel extra sappy hahahah#the full name is Leo Gets Overwhelmed and Elopes to Usagi’s World Nstead Of Going to Therapy au#because he later does just that#I have a few comics drafted for this#but man#when will I clean them#who knows#I’m moving to a brand new apartment next month and will have to do a lot of renovations
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me: okay I need to move out in September! let me find a suitable replacement for my room- it's my responsibility since it's my choice to leave, after all. and if I don't find someone I'm stuck paying two leases in September, because the realty company pressured us into signing a lease in April or they'd show the place and NONE of us could stay. so the pressure is on
candidate: hello! I'm nice, normal, and clean. I actually clean professionally. everyone gets along great with me on the call and we all like each other. I'm even willing to move forward with just a video call before visiting the place in person, despite living in the same city, but I'm clearly not a scammer!
my housemates in the debrief: she seemed really cool and nice! we are not bringing up any issues with her!
me: great! so shall we move forward with her? since we live in a city where housing moves Fast and she said she was talking to other people as well?
my housemates:
my housemates:
my housemates: we just want to talk to other people first :) :) :) we are not going to give any other reason and we will keep talking about how much we like that candidate but Not Reach Out to Confirm that We Want Her to Move In :) :) :)
#personal#housemate woes#moving#it's mostly this one housemate who is the self-appointed Main Character of the apartment#she's nice in many ways but. very loud and very...steamroller-y? I guess?#she's lived here the longest and is the most likely to push issues or be the sticking point if everyone else agrees on something#even something that wouldn't cause problems for her#If Mama Ain't Happy Ain't Nobody Happy vibes#I've had multiple situations where I listen intently to what she has to say and then#she makes silly noises at her cat over me talking- loudly -and then gives noncommittal answers pretending she was listening#she sleeps until noon and is really bad about answering the group chat although she always apologizes profusely for the latter#(never changes the behavior)#and the sleeping wouldn't be an issue except that if you need the house's assent for anything before noon or have a group question#forget it#also we had three incidents where I handled being upset badly- not violent or shouting; just overreacting -and I thought they were done wit#only for her to bring them up again at my House tribunal- I mean a housemate meeting (long story)
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WoLGraha Week 2025 - Day 3 - Gleaner AU
"Alright Raha, pay up." The sudden sound of a metal brick smacking against the desk nearly made the young scholar jump into the air. It took but a second for the decorative stripes of red and cyan to register in his mind. "You found one!" G'raha exclaimed, his eyes wide and his voice brimming with excitement. There was no doubt about it, underneath the gloved hand in front of him laid a genuine Allagan tomestone; a rare artifact of an age long past. More than once had they come up in his research, but despite the vast network of the Students of Baldesion getting his hands on any remnant of Allag for personal matters had proven to be difficult. Fortune however shined on G'raha when he overheard Studium goers whisper of a gleaner willing to procure "samples of non-typical varieties" for whoever asked. The Gleaner in Blue: That's how she was known among the locals.
It did not take long before his curiosities got the better of him. His requests began with a book; one reported to have been abandoned in the Dravanian Hinterlands along with the Colony. Then a copy of a scripture held in the libraries of Ishguard. After that, obtaining a written recording of a folktale from northern Thanalan. Whenever his thesis demanded another citation it was her services he then on sought to employ. No matter how unusual the request the blue coated Miqo'te always delivered. "I said I would, didn't I?" G'raha shifted his focus from the artifact to the source of the familiar, smug voice. A hand rested confidently at her hip as she straightened herself up, withdrawing her other palm from the tomestone. A bold smirk settled on her lips as she spoke, "Took a little digging- literally- but I've had harder jobs." The sight of her sent G'raha's heart a flutter just as it had the first time they met roughly a year prior. From her intrepid nature to her beauty, everything about her felt akin to the heroic literary figures he had once been fixated on in his youth. Perhaps that is why then the anticipation he felt of getting another chance to speak to her often outweighed that of procuring the item needed for his research. Perhaps that is why, knowing his thesis was coming to an end and that he would soon return to the Isle of Val, he began asking for less essential items. To lose himself in the details of her face- her brilliant garnet hued eyes, the crisp white stripes of her facial markings that frame them, the gradation of colour on her nose, the sharp fangs that peaked out from below her upper lip when she smiles, the intriguing scar that surely came with an equally thrilling story- even for just a short moment the temptation was too great. A weakness of his that his dear friend Krile refused to let him live down. And lose himself he did. The sudden realization that he had no sense of the time that had likely passed since the adventurous gleaner spoke snapped him back to reality. Swiftly he made motion for the tomestone, averting his gaze from her to examine the decorated ingot-like object in his hand. His tail swished around uncontrollably. "This is should be exactly what I need for the next chapter of my paper, thank you." G'raha couldn't fight back the grin that plastered his face. This relic really was an amazing find; he'd dare wager it would be a one in a million chance of success of actually receiving one when he had asked. As his thumb traced over the indents and faint groves carved into the stones G'raha could only think of how spectacular the woman beside him was. It was this admiration for her that made what he had to say next all the harder. "As for your payment... Ah, well, you see... My coffers aren't particularly full at this exact moment..." Each word a stone, dropped in his gut, weighing him down as he sunk further and further into a trench of embarrassment. The many hardships of living on a student allowance could not be overstated, but it was still not much of an excuse for his poor budgeting priorities. A sheepish chuckle left his throat involuntarily. Gods willing, she'd be able to see some humour in the situation.
"Again?" With a heavy sigh she hung her in disappointment. "I really aught to start asking students to pay upfront. You especially." She mumbled to herself. From her tone it was hard to say whether she was more so scolding herself than making a jab at the young scholar. The charms on her ribbon let out the faintest jingle as she shook her head, heaving out another sigh in the process. Not a moment passed before she returned to her usual peppy demeanour. She raised her eyebrows at G'raha, "Alright, alright. Another I.O.U then?" He agreed with a shameful nod, "Apologies." "...Hmph. Don't you worry about it. You sent me on a fun expedition; that's payment enough, for now. Should your coffers remain empty however, you might just see yourself forcefully conscripted into gleaner work with me." She replied with a wry smile. "To walk by your side would be but a wonder to me." is what he wished he could work up the nerve to say. His heart raced at the thought alone. An adventure outside of Sharalyan territory was a long held dream of his; but so long as the origins of his inheritance remained a mystery a dream it must remain. Finishing his thesis and earning his Archon marks were the first step to further insight. Though he might have allowed himself to (perhaps over) indulge in this current Achilles heel of his, he'd not let himself get wholly distracted from his goals. Despite his resolve, the image of him accompanying the gleaner in blue danced in mind. What joy it would be to wander the lands with her, to listen to her stories and learn from her experience, to settle by a campfire when the sun got low, to share a tent when the frigid night air became too much to handle. G'raha could feel the heat reaching his face. He turned and hunched back over his work, hopefully obscuring her view of him. "Thank you, Arsay, for your patience. I'll have the gil in a weeks time or so." He said as he fidgeted with his sleeve cuff. "So you always say." She rolled her eyes and turned with a wave. "Well then, off to find a paying contract. Best of luck with your work as always. Should you need anything more, you know where to find me."
#ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#wolgraha#wolgrahaweek#wolgrahaweek2025#g'raha tia#g'raha/wol#arsay nun#graharsay#gleaner in blue au#OKAY so the set up for this is totally a 'if Emrara stayed in the sharlayan colony instead of going to the south seas' either#because they took her seriously or she didnt want to give up and started living in the hinterlands#Arsays parents still leave arsay with emrara before they sail to orthard n probably still die on that side of the world#when the colony evacuates Arsay is 12 and emrara convinces someone there to let arsay go with them so long as she takes up work as a gleane#arsay was pretty skilled at aetheric geometry but not enough to be allowed in as a student#so a gleaner she became and she quickly set herself apart by her ability to track down and procure some insanely rare things#basically she becomes an adventurer in a gleaners coat tbh#she likes to offer gleaner services to whoever might need it instead of other gleaners who keep their contracts within the labarynthos netw#and I imagine she wears a blue coat either because she has a different specialty or because it gives her something unique to be remembered#if its the latter im sure she gets in trouble but she dgaf#fun au fact time:#this au Arsay and Y'shtola would have met as kids! Y'shtola is 4 years older then Arsay but I think Arsay found her way into Matoya's cave#one time while exploring and met Y'shtola and proceeded to annoy the shit out of her#and then kept coming back to matoyas cave to annoy the shit out of her#and then also helped Y'shtola procure whatever she needed for her studies as they moved to the island together#so this is more of an arshtola childhood friends au but G'raha is here too now and hes crushing on Arsay BAD oh my god#i imagine he spent a decent amount of time in old sharalayan while he worked on his thesis which lined up with when krile was attending#her final years at the studium#so you know she bullied the shit out of g'raha for blowing all his savings for a reason to talk to this girl he likes#Arsay thinks hes really cute tbh so even if he stopped being able to pay her right away she still does jobs for him :)
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Will never get over how Starscream and Skyfire's relationship is always doomed. There's never an iteration of them where they both stay on the same side at the end. They always end up being against each other, tearing each other apart (whether intentionally or not). They always end up losing each other, be it by a snowstorm, by the war, or by death itself. They never receive a happy ending together, one if not both of them is doomed to suffer.
Skyfire is doomed to be an Autobot, by forces out of his control. Starscream is doomed to be an Decepticon, by his own self destructive tendencies. They are both doomed, because of who they are. They always try to save the other, in their own way. But it never works. They are doomed to fail, whether they stay together or not.
#Starscream and skyfire are parallels of optimus and Megatron. do you understand me.#believing in someone when no one else did. seeing something worth supporting when no one else did. being the one person they trust.#they both ended up being torn apart by the war and their own ideals. losing each other because of their conflicting views.#one became an autobot and the other became a decepticon. one of them must fall.#i have lots of feelings about them yknow.#doomed yaoi shit going on here#will never get over how much g1 starscream cared about skyfire. like. he kept trying to have skyfire stay by his side#he was still a shitty guy and treated skyfire like shit but there was genuine care and emotion under it all. he still cared#i need a universe where they get to reconcile. where they get to be happy. pull an earthspark and let them be friends again#i need a skyfire who learns to love and accept post-war Starscream. i need a Starscream who despite everything still want skyfire with him.#i need them not to be doomed but rather learn and grow. accept the flaws and faults of the past and learn to move on#can you tell i love skystar#can you tell i love them#skyfire#jetfire#starscream#transformers#transformers g1#g1 transformers#the fire burns#skystar
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something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny
#library of ruina#yan library of ruina#getting comfortable doodling some objects and mannequin shapes for very obvious reasons. i read the keypage story and now it has a grip on#my brain. wanting to go ahead and plan it out and then draw the mangled memory and nightmare that replays behind the eyelids in the darknes#it was cool to see the reason confirmed from my speculation. twas indeed another reason of blocking out present pain with closing of eyes#considering they made angela have a plot important reason for doing so it would only make sense for another to have a reason for it as well#well. after having a prominent part inside the thumb/index story line. its just going to be yapping about yan now i think#let me add a spoiler tag i suppose? vauge but just incase i dont want to be an asshole. even if most already have played rhe game#library of ruina spoilers#lor spoilers#i really liked the typewritter effect over the voice after distortion. especially so when the effect finishes before the actual garbled voi#does. it makes it feel as if it were being read out after it being written down rather than of own words or volition. along with the text#upon the screen during the fight being just prescripts rather than anything relating to the man himself like the other instances with such#text had been. paired w the name of distorted yan being untranslated to keep the intent of the name being unreadable or not understandable#more into the idea of stripping away of the self or any sense of a self. not personal and not even him anymore. the following of a goal for#the goal for it is given and there isnt any hope of having the ability to not do such a thing. people yearn for a reason and something to d#and for it to be given to them to not hold responsibility nor have to do their own choices anymore. once a crushing weight weighs down#inside the face of an absolute cruelty that is perpetuated and that crushed the dreams or even desires having them be but nothing how can#one move on? it was really nice to see at the end of the fight. its easier to just say such things than to actually do them. even if the ac#ions dont even feel as if they are ones own or that there isnt any say in the matter having to endure all the pain for seemingly nothing it#still is pain. that feeling inside is still real. it still happened. regardless of the circumstances that brought them about#the thumb/index or just fingers seem to be an exaggerated to the extreme showcase of how the colletivist mindset in an unhealthy manner#could be exhibited. the thumb with its hierarchy and absoluteness and the demand for respect along with its strict layers of showing who is#below and who is above. the ability to have power over those underneath . the participation inside of it and the already brought up yearnin#to be apart of a group and to have a title and position inside of a group and of power and even a desire like from pete to join one iirc#the index being of the cruel perpetuating cycle of pain people inflict upon one another a behavior beaten and upkept by the systems as they#drift and desire to live. which causes them to partcipate in that cycle out of necessity. cruel acts upon another in order to live and seei#a need to go ahead and do such things for if they dont they die and another will just do the same to them. social sciences talk and rolands#talks abt how the city opperates reinforce that fact. the index and prescripts are really just a show inside that extreme manner and in a#more literal sense of that. it was really cool to read it..
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I'm teaching myself how to make bobbin lace, rank my set up
(the safety pins on the bottom of the straws are for weight , the ones on the top are to stop it constantly unspooling, yes I did try cutting a slit in the straws it just kept shredding my thread)
#(the piouline tin is my jar of stuff.#its mostly bandaids painkillers tape and markers. You know stuff you need for every craft)#I dont use straws like. ever. I just have a bag of them that were in this apartment when i moved in.#Previous tenant just left all his crap and abandoned ship idk what happened to most of it but i got his straws
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I felt like Winchester was feeling too small for Daphne, loved the island vibes but it was a little too small, always running into the same people and with not that much to do on a friday night when she's not working so I moved her over to SimLau Isles.
#ts3#ts3 scenery#ts3 gameplay#gameplay: zodiac#potts 1#this world feels like starlight shores but better?#but also really reminds me of del sol valley from ts4#I set it to fall just like previous town but the leaves didn't quite get there yet :x#also! this town has really pretty houses/apartments and for someone like me who has no building talent this is important!#need to save them before I move neighborhood in the future
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I wanted to post this specific in-game version of Une vie à peindre as well because their duet plus the counterpoint melody and the guitar solo makes me feel so alive (spoilers in French lyrics)
#Clair Obscur: Expedition 33#game of my life#Une vie à peindre#ENSEMBLE AU CLAIR OBSCUR......!!!#IMMORTEL AU CLAIR OBSCUR.......!!!!!#violin: 🎻 🎻 🎻 🎻 🎻 🎻#guitar: 🎸 🎸 🎸 🎸 🎸 🎸#drums: 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁#choir: 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣#me: levitating#spoilers in tags as I work through my thoughts some more at how much this moves me and why#I love the meaning behind how they're singing different conflicting notes in Une vie a t'aimer but now they're singing the EXACT same notes#not even an octave apart - they are singing the same note. their voices blend together not even in harmony but in UNISON#even as they're having their one last disagreement they're coming to an understanding and singing the exact same thing#not AT each other but now WITH each other and reaching out toward each other.#“Tendre la main et t'implorer reviens”#I love them so much so much so much so much#Clair Obscur spoilers#Expedition 33 spoilers#spoilers#she was angry about a lot of things but to me there's an interpretation where at that end point she was also angry#because he wasn't THERE in the manor to cushion her return at all because he was still working on getting Alicia out#like no wonder she did nothing but look for where it was hidden again - she was completely alone#so she was simply like “go home#it's time for you to be done with this too” (I'm angry at you but I need you at home)#which is what he wanted all along (from his own note you can find in his room)#so I think part of why he let Alicia have her own way was because he needed to go back and be there with Aline#ugh I want to know what happened when Renoir woke up so bad#idk I love how the music tells the story of how they're feeling so well it's so masterful and so complicated#can't stop thinking about it
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fun fact:
chase and house don't have a single conversation (that isn't part of a larger differential or with others present) until episode five of s1. before that point, we've had:
house telling cameron why he hired her
house trying to figure out cameron's damage twice, most pointedly in maternity
house and foreman having lunch together
house making foreman coffee and several other blatant scenes
cameron and house having a weirdly charged exchange of christmas presents
house and cuddy bickering and bantering in every episode, with wilson even raising the prospect of Romantic Interest as a possible reason
house and wilson hanging out in house's office, spending time together, usual stuff
cameron and foreman talking about house and criminal records and chase
cameron and chase flirting/sexual harassing one another/etc.
cameron and wilson's relationship being established, with wilson attempting to mentor her (and calling her allison, which is still very weird).
house bonding with two patients (counting the one in episode five)
furthermore:
when house has reached out to cameron (episode 1 and 4), and foreman (episode 1 and 2 and 3), he has followed his usual pattern. he has noticed something he finds odd and he starts poking at it. why are you damaged? why do you think the way you do? he wants answers, he is interested in figuring this out, even if he ends up being rude.
in the conversation with chase, the first ever, house mocks him for being an obedient catholic boy who does what daddy tells him and doesn't ask a single question. he isn't interested in how chase ticks at all. he's not trying to poke around and figure him out, he's looking to see if chase has any idea what's up with the nun. it's a conversation with a greater purpose, not a talk with chase. it isn't actually until cursed, episode 13, that house takes a personal interest in chase at all, and incidentally, that's also when their second personal interaction takes place (aside from a brief joke about how bad chase's american accent is in poison).
now, we can say that on the one hand: house has known chase for a year now where foreman is brand new; house has more to learn about the latter than the former. this doesn't quite explain cameron (who will continue to have Moments with house leading up to the Crush Era, and has worked here six months). and at the same time, i wouldn't say house particularly dislikes chase (although house does make fun of him much more than anyone else on the team). but. you see what i'm saying, right.
so when people insist "chase is house's favorite!!! chase is house's son!!!" i'm just. come on. their relationship does change over time, and by mid-series it is fascinating. i adore their relationship. but pretending it was ever a priority of the show is. come on. in s1-3? house literally could not care less. chase is house's favorite? be serious
(i mean, i suppose you can't get much more "chase's father" coded than completely ignoring him and not at all caring about him, so i guess there's that.)
#malpractice posting#robert chase#house md#gregory house#i know this is such a hot take and ~don't post that on character tags~ but#at this point i swear i'm losing a year of my life whenever i see it#chase is my absolute fave i adore his and house's relationship#but it is such piss on the poor reading comprehension#to pretend it was at all a priority of the show for the first. lbr 7 years#in fact their relationship is much more interesting BECAUSE it was never a priority for either of them#until arguably too late for them both#house was never what chase wanted him to be and so chase moved on#and house became a lifeline for chase when his life fell apart#house was so preoccupied with everyone else in his life he didn't notice chase's breakdown until it was too late#until he turned around and saw chase had turned into him#idk i could make the same post about chase not really needing house / being that obsessed with house
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OWV really had the exact right "crazy mf" to "voice of reason" ratio to get that project off the ground, huh.
You've got Slate, whose idea of a good date is an explosion - and who says that they (Slate) (The Explosions One) have no idea how Feldspar lived long enough to become an astronaut, based on their nonexistent sense of self preservation. And then you've got the aforementioned Feldspar, whose idea of a good time is flying straight into the eye of the Giant's Deep storm for breakfast, and Dark Bramble for lunch.
Those two are the roaring engine of the endeavor, but if Hornfels wasn't methodical enough to channel that energy with actual science, they'd be an uncontrolled blast instead of power with steering. Gossan is the safety rails to the objective, the one to handle "how can we do this and live to do it again" and "how can we do this repeatably enough that other people both can learn and want to". If Slate and Felds are the engine and Hornfels is the steering, Gossan is the fuel line, a measured and steady input to give the whole thing staying power and make sure it's built to last.
Without the wilder half to take the plunges, they never would have passed the point of prototyping with the scant resources and unanswered questions they had. Without the more grounded half, they would have leapt too far too fast and become a barely-spoken cautionary tale instead of an inspiration. The existence and success of this project is as precarious and beautiful as flight itself, and it is so interesting to me to think about how each of its components helped to lift it to where it is by the start of the game.
(I briefly forgot about Esker but I fixed it in the tags) (Esker Rights forever they deserve to be remembered for their role and also visited, somebody visit them please,)
#original posts#outer wilds#outer wilds ventures#outer wilds founders#idk how people tag these fools (affectionate) I'm just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks#I think a lot about how they needed to both 1. figure out how to get to space#and 2. figure out how to convince a village of extremely resource-limited people to let them spend a shitload of materials and risk#to go to space#the fact that it worked out is such a careful balance and it was such a gamble#Feldspar's disappearance being as late as it was and Gossan's eye thing being a speedbump instead of a full stop are both honestly v lucky#the way these guys all balance each other and made it actually work instead of breaking apart due to how different they are#is very warming to think about#................fuck I forgot about Esker. nooooooooooooooo I forgot about Esker OUUU#tbf I've seen them less as a founder in terms of the core of what got the project moving and more as a vital piece that made it run smoothly#in the analogy they're probably shock absorption#essential for a smooth ride and for reducing wear and tear#both on the ships themselves and on the mental for the travelers#it's worth a lot to have a whistle and a friendly face greet you when you need to make emergency repairs
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Hey guys, I'd like to apologize for disappearing once again. I seem to end up self-sabotaging myself everytime I try to get back into the swing of things (attempting to do the backlog of comms + doodles, opening patreon). I've been feeling lethargic for some time now & tbh I can't help but remember my mom's situation back then before she got admitted to the hospital. I don't want to go through the same thing so I'm trying my best to pick myself up—even though it's hard. I lost my dad last 2016 then my mom this year & it's just... it's a big blow for me.
I'm sorry if I keep asking for help like this... but I've stretched our budget too thin now since I haven't been able to work on anything. If anyone would like to help, my ko-fi page is open. Any kind of help or support is very much appreciated! 🙏
I'd also like to apologize to those who subscribed to my patreon. I really thought I'd be able to just start right away & draw again like I used to after announcing it here but I thought wrong. I owe you guys a doodle + a drawing session. I can't promise to do them soon but I'll try my best!
Lastly, I've also been thinking of doing an art stream as a thanks for continuing to support me even though I haven't posted art for so long ;_; Nothing fancy, just a simple stream of me drawing on a canvas (I don't have the guts to show my face or talk I'm sorry... 🙈). Tbh it sounds overwhelming but I thought it might help me gain momentum for drawing again. Idek if I'll actually be able to do it, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while now.
I'm sorry again for all this... I'm still a mess atm & so I still keep struggling. But I'm also grateful bc many of you still choose to stay & support me despite the lack of activity. Really though, thank you, thank you so much for still being here ;_; 🙏🙏🙏
#the week after I posted abt patreon was the time I had severe menstrual cramps and I just... lost the momentum after that#even vomitted at some point bc of how bad it was#and then I received a bad news abt the apartment we're renting#caretaker of the apt. said my mom missed a couple of payments before and now I have to shoulder them#im still trying to find the receipts that my mom kept but I couldn't find them so now im just... left w/ another problem#my mood tanked after hearing abt it... was planning to move out in the future to start fresh again but bc of this im not even sure anymore#sighs. im still trying to find the receipts tho so im hoping it was just something they overlooked#im sorry again... don't really want to rely on ppl's donations anymore bc I know everyone have their own needs too#and that's hard earned money... but bc of my situation im left w/ no choice but to try to ask for help again ;_;#thank you to those who helped so far I really appreciate you all ;; 🙏
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jenndoesnotcare replied to this post:
Every time LDS kids come to my neighborhood I am so so nice to them. I hope they remember the blue haired lady who was kind, when people try to convince them the outside world is bad and scary. (Also they are always so young! I want to feed them cookies and give them Diana Wynne Jones books or something)
Thank you! Honestly, this sort of kindness can go a really long way, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
LDS children and missionaries (and the majority of the latter are barely of age) are often the people who interact the most with non-Mormons on a daily basis, and thus are kind of the "face" of the Church to non-Mormons a lot of the time. As a result, they're frequently the ones who actually experience the brunt of antagonism towards the Church, which only reinforces the distrust they've already been taught to feel towards the rest of the world.
It's not that the Church doesn't deserve this antagonism, but a lot of people seem to take this enormous pride in showing up Mormon teenagers who have spent most of their lives under intense social pressure, instruction, expectation, and close observation from both their peers and from older authorities in the Church (it largely operates on seniority, so young unmarried people in particular tend to have very little power within its hierarchies). Being "owned" for clout by non-Mormons doesn't prove anything to most of them except that their leaders and parents are right and they can't trust people outside the Church.
The fact that the Church usually does provide a tightly-knit community, a distinct and familiar culture, and a well-developed infrastructure for supporting its members' needs as long as they do [xyz] means that there can be very concrete benefits to staying in the Church, staying closeted, whatever. So if, additionally, a Mormon kid has every reason to think that nobody outside the Church is going to extend compassion or kindness towards them, that the rest of the world really is as hostile and dangerous as they've been told, the stakes for leaving are all the higher, despite the costs of staying.
So people from "outside" who disrupt this narrative of a hostile, threatening world that cannot conceivably understand their experiences or perspectives can be really important. It's important for them to know that there are communities and reliable support systems outside the Church, that leaving the Church does not have to mean being a pariah in every context, that there are concrete resources outside the Church, that compassion and decency in ordinary day-to-day life is not the province of any particular religion or sect and can be found anywhere. This kind of information can be really important evidence for people to have when they are deciding how much they're willing to risk losing.
So yeah, all of this is to say that you're doing a good thing that may well provide a lifeline for very vulnerable people, even if you don't personally see results at the time.
#jenndoesnotcare#respuestas#long post#cw religion#cw mormonism#i've been thinking about how my mother was the compassionate service leader in the church when i was a kid#which in our area was the person assigned to manage collective efforts to assist other members in a crisis#this could mean that someone got really sick or broke their leg or something and needs meals prepared for them for awhile#or it could mean that someone lost their job and they're going to need help#it might mean that someone needs to move and they need more people to move boxes or a piano or something#she was the person who made sure there was a social net for every member in our area no matter what happened or what was needed#there's an obvious way this is good but it also makes it scarier to leave and lose access#especially if there's no clear replacement and everyone is hostile#i was lucky in a lot of ways - my mother was unorthodox and my bio dad and his family were catholic so i always had ties beyond the church#my best friend was (and is) a jewish atheist so i had continual evidence that virtue was not predicated on adherence to dogma#and even so it was hard to withdraw from all participation in church life and doubly so because the obvious alternative spaces#-the lgbt+ ones- seemed obsessed with gatekeeping and viciously hostile towards anyone who didn't fit comfortable narratives#so i didn't feel i could rely on the community at large in any structural sense or that i had any serious alternative to the church#apart from fandom really and only carefully curated spaces back then#and like - random fandom friends who might not live in my country but were obviously not mormon and yet kind and helpful#did more to help me withdraw altogether than gold star lesbians ever did
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I would looooooove if you could just do a hard reset on your coping mechanisms. can we clear the cache or something. half of these are not helpful anymore and they are actively annoying to me
#vent#mostly just kind of annoyed lol. not actively upset. the vibe is chatty and not distressed.#but I grew up in a 'no politics at the dinner table' kind of house (which basically meant 'don't start fights around the kids')#and my situation now could not be any more different. that former parent is not here.#my mom and now-stepdad agree politically. I'm an adult with the agency to just get up and leave the table now.#I could even contribute to the conversation if I wanted to! my opinions would be welcomed!#there's no danger to run from. things have been a lot better for a looong time now#but there's that deep-rooted paralyzing 'freeze in place and wait for an argument to start' instinct when they start on politics.#It makes me want to do that thing where a cuttlefish pretends to be a rock. like hi don't mind me. i am not here. do not perceive me.#and this is not helpful. it stresses me out and accomplishes nothing else. I do not need this anymore.#I have not needed this for YEARS now! many of them in fact#but it's still there and it's annoying.#pros of living at home: I'm not homeless and my family- while complicated- arguably functions most of the time.#if nothing else we generally get along above a passable baseline level.#cons: sigh.#it's run-of-the-mill 20something living at home stress most of the time but every so often something Specific comes up#and I would just love if the shitty apartments around here were not the price of an entire family home out in iowa or wherever.#unfortunately I don't want to move to iowa. I like it in this area but that means I'm not moving any time soon ���#I just think I would like being around my family a lot more if it were not a daily occurrence.#I love them! I would also love them from fifteen miles away though 😭
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Kaeya had always been an efficient and hard-working individual (he had to be to support Diluc in the background as his brother rose thru the ranks after all).
He has so much free time because he completes all his work way ahead of schedule. And if he still has enough time, he adds more to the workload in secret.
And once all of that was done and over with, he makes time for everyone. He has to. He feels as if every moment has to be given to someone else.
No one knows how he does it. No one has to know.
Every mission has a dozen strategies in line, and every battle plan is made with efficiency in mind. His perfect record will not be tarnished. He can't risk it (even if it baffles others that he would willingly activate a ruin guard just to prevent a failed mission. Jean disagrees with his methods, but Kaeya can say that the results say otherwise)
He needs to be quick.
Efficient.
Perfect.
And so he comes and goes like the wind.
Kaeya values time because he knew every second counted. He can't just stand there as if he were frozen. Time could run out in an instant.
Kaeya had only been late once his entire life.
He'd rather he never be late ever again.
It took one day of being of being imperfect for everything to fall apart. On that tragic day...had he gotten there on time... then maybe...
.
.
.
" Come on, let's get moving, traveler. We're not frozen in place after all. " Kaeya teasingly says. He stiffles a giggle at the traveler's exhasperated sigh.
"Yeah yeah, we've heard enough of you calling us a slacker. Can't you be a bit more patient?" Paimon whines at him.
Kaeya snorts, but acquiesces, hiding the shaking of his hands at the thought of being idle.
He imagines hearing a clock ticking.
Kaeya knows that that is his own problem. He tries his hardest to relax as he waits for the traveler to finish whatever they're making on the alchemy table because, seriously, it is supposed to be a relaxing day. There's nothing major going on, and his schedule is once again empty as intended. What's the hurry?
Kaeya taps his foot on the ground as he waits. He wishes he could take his own damn advice when he tells others to relax.
#kaeyachi randoms#kaeya#kaeya alberich#this is actually shorter than it originally was can yall believe?#kaeya with anxiety truther there i said it#kaeya cant stand being IDLE#get it? get it?#you see that is a play of words in reference to when he is stood idle on our screens. he is one of the more verbally impatient characters#and we also see it reflected on his actions both in fighting and at work. he has a speed boost bonus and if he isnt teleporting he is#actually moving so fast that he seems like it. this is what i also concluded that results him in large amounts of free time that only amber#seemed to be hardpressed about. the people of mondstadt find him reliable and approachable despite the lax attitude and frequent nights at#angels share. we also had lore tidbits before of kaeya straight up saying he finished all his work and jean saying that he also did the#backlogged ones. It is actually insane that we hear him relaxing frequently and i bet its not because of the lack of horses COZ LOOK AT HOW#BUSY THE OTHER CAPTAINS ARE. Also id like to think that he is a toned down noelle and that is why jean told him to watch over her training#give us noelle and kaeya interactions pls i kinda need it tbh#to all those that reached this far into the notes i actually have more to say so get ready#if it wasnt clear the only day he was late was when crepus died. everything fell apart for him that day so i can see some obsessive need to#just keep running around and doing things as efficient as possible. I also think that he found the knights slow and inefficient in several#occasions and he is willing to put them in the line of fire just to get their hearts pumping with adrenaline (and fear lol). idk kaeya is#just so anxiety-coded. impatience-core. Mr. dont waste my time type of guy. and also wow look i found a way to make his idles become angst#silly me ehe#oh youre still here? how about i tell you that kaeya-efficiency-alberich probably knows where everyone is at any time of the day?#can we honestly please give him more free time i need more of him tbh#fun reminder that bro is working around 3-4 jobs casually lmao#i also just realized that the notes is a whole nother post on its own#AND THE ACTUAL FUNNY PART IS I CAN STILL ELABORATE MORE ON THIS LMAO#wait let me add this one tiny idea too but he thinks time is so valuable. bro lost 2 dads and lost time with his bro + he significantly#lessened his time at dawn winery for quite some time. i can see why he is extroverted now.
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