#I was kind of sick...wasn't I
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So.
Act 5, huh?
Oh, and that.
"You can start breakdown now."
Finished the game couple of days ago and had some thoughts I needed to process a little. Like. Yes.
So anyway I actually didn't plan this and just wanted to redraw some sprites to just make sure I understand how to draw Siffrin correctly (still working on that!)
What did I learn from this? How fun it it to draw on a canvas that literally doesn't let you draw with colors without some layer cheating when necessary. Never tried it.
The beans. Sleeping beans.
Basically what happens when you want to sleep AND draw. Draw characters sleeping on your behalf.
Doesn't help, but at least it's cute.
I have no idea what was going on in my mind as I drew this. Feels like a fever dream of 'I want to sleep' at 4 am and 'Hm...' of thinking random things
Also that phone craft sign. Still too funny to imagine. I had to.
#fanart#sketch#my art#isat spoilers#isat#siffrin#siffrin isat#isat loop#in stars and time#I also tried to draw the Party too! But that one sketch is too rough yet!#And I'll probably never post it it was fun to draw them tho#Anyway I had /thoughts/ playing Act 5#Not great ones too! I would rather they stayed where I would never even know they exist#But I had to while playing so I did#So it took some time to just sit with everything also I spend a lot of time just doing achievements#One left! The annoying one.#NG+ is fun too#I'm still surprised by how much I enjoyed it#Like 'staying until 6 am playing 10 hours straight' kind of enjoyed#From 'hm I wonder what's it about' to 'yeah I cried multiple times so I think it's allowed to live in my head too'#I got sick multiple times on related and unrelated reasons while playing and planning to play that wasn't fun#Anyway it's cool have some sketches because I couldn't stop drawing last night#I love drawing characters being emotionally in pain but that requires specific mood and music to go with#And not overdoing it#Like when drawing first one 'Aishite' was on loop the whole time#It's b&w too! Red layers are added with 'paste' magic love that
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Dark AU, Arkham patient! Jazz Fenton.
Sadly, Jazz Fenton is convinced that her brother Danny is still alive, that Phantom didn't kill him, that ghosts are actually sentient and not necessarily evil. Clearly she was brainwashed by Phantom who was pretending to be her brother.
The GIW graciously don't charge her with the crime of violating the anti-ecto act by protecting ghosts as a kindness to her parents who have done so much good work. She is sent to a mental hospital outside of Amity Park because they think she will recover better away from ghosts.
Well Arkham doesn't know what is about to hit it and Jazz is going to do whatever it takes to escape and save her brother.
#i think this could be well combined with arkham patient Jason and Jazz/Jason ship#Maybe Jason senses that Jazz is Important (ghost princess) and they team up to escape together#Jason is happy to have his murder urges turned on people who deserve it#you could take this two ways depending on your taste. Either the bats actually help and realize what is happening OR they are the antagonis#if Jason is there than probably they are antagonists. Even though he was treated okay there in the comics actually#but we can ignore canon for angst if we want#does this one exist yet? I have seen villain jazz and dark jazz but not this specifically#mostly i see AUs where she works at Arkham#some quick content warnings for implied:#psychiatric abuse#medical abuse#psych abuse#Although I am a bit tired of the use of medical abuse in Arkham in canon and fanon.#It would be neat to see it portrayed as a place that actually tries to help people.#Because in canon they do try to make it better!! So it would be interesting if Jazz wasn't abused in the typical way here#instead they ARE trying to help her but they are just WRONG about her 'illness'. It would make things more fucked up actually.#Like wouldn't it be MORE fucked up if she was treated well? If her parents were kind and supportive? Trying to help her 'recover'.#Imagine the Fentons bringing sweets books games to their 'sick' child. The only child they have left. They want her to 'get better'#Wouldn't that be like peak fucked up?#especially because she is a person who believes in psychology so much. yet it betrays her...#jazz fenton#danny phantom#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#dc comics#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#batman#arkham asylum
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brush test slash rendering practice with ayem
#morrowind#almalexia#the elder scrolls#tes#tes fanart#art#id in alt#ok that's all the tags this needs ANYWAY#i started this 1. for experimenting with coloring from dark to light#2. because i wanted to draw someone kind of back turned to the camera#3. rendering practice for hair particularly#4. to go from sketch to rendering rather than doing lines to see if that doesn't smooth out my workflow a bit#5. because i've never actually used this brush past flat coloring#and out of those 1. i don't think i had enough of an idea of the palette or process to jump into dark to light painting so i did scrap that#and go with my usual “flat color with one of the mid shadow tones add shadows add light”#i do think that painting from shadows out is a thing people do digitally i just think this wasn't the drawing to test it on for me#i think i'd need to look at some other peoples processes and start with a more fleshed out idea of where to go#2 and 3 i think worked out. i'm gradually figuring hair out which i think is sick#4 i also think worked out for me which is also sick because i do get caught on lines a lot. they're fun sometimes but i think some drawings#benefit better from not having them and that it might be a bit faster#and of course everything i do is so that i can draw slightly faster and better for next artfight#as for 5. i have mixed feelings on this brush but that might be because i hate change. and also because i started this drawing on the 15th#of november and finished it yesterday. so im kind of just sick of working on and looking at it#it was a valuable learning experience and i think it came out well! i am also going to drop to my knees and rejoice when i can finally#close this file out and free medibang paint from under it so i can work on Literally Anything Else#thank you almalexia for being my test subject i should've used a reference for your armor when i did the sketch but i didn't#maybe the crown looks weird because of it maybe it doesn't. not my problem anymore i can draw other elves again#my art#iiii think i forgot a my art tag last time
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#you#...#you...#Congrats with surviving... I hope it wasn't too bad...#We had something similar last year#We live in a kind of a distant village#And our streets are connected to one heating system#And it was so cold last year that this station just broke#Me and my sister have been without water electricity and heat first day *giggle* It was funny to wear 2 complects of cloths and jacket#It was... like... -14 inside of home? *giggle*#On the second day we at least got electricity back and got a little heater (We were separated from parents so the have been calling 3#times per day XDD) We closed all doors to not let the heat outside#Since we got sick and couldn't take a shower#We were able to go to school but we looked like shit XDD#Then we were lying next 2 days like potatoes in one room with a heater... it felt awful XDD#They couldn't fix the main heating system for almost 3 days#It was... funny.... never want to experience the same again and hope you will not too
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god I cannot stop thinking about the snapcube + rtvs team up for kingdom hearts. this is so perfect in so many ways I'm going to be so mentally ill about it
#holly being involved wasn't a surprise#because she's been in other fandubs (i hear her doing the voice she did in until dawn??)#and she's kind of the connecting link between rtvs and the clownhouse crew#but when i saw wayne's name pop up my jaw dropped#and my glee doubled every time another rtvs member appeared#COLLABORATION OF THE CENTURY!!!!#this is going to be so fucking funny oh god all of them are such funny improvisers#the fandubs and rtvs streams both are responsible for so much stupid shit in my speech pattern#the things this kingdom hearts collab are going to do to me are evil#log as pooh bear... god. such an incredible choice.#i know he's going to say some shit that's going to send me to the fucking floor laughing#wayne as donald is such a hysterical choice im so glad he's gonna be a main character#especially since he and holly work off each other so well#i cannot get over scorpy as hades holy shit i have no idea what that's gonna be like but im THRILLED#god. i have watched this trailer like a dozen times now im so excited#when the date is announced im gonna need to take a fucking sick day or something
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can we talk about how mack claims on the second or third night of dev camp, he made a "pros and cons" list about staying at BU vs. signing with the sharks.
like, pls, be serious... what did that list look like? also, that would have been July 2nd or 3rd, and he signed his ELC on the 6th, so... seems like you had soooo much thinking to do, bud!
PROS
Will (who I have known for as many as 48 hours)
Playing with WILL
Will Smith
Will Smith hockey
I can hang in the NHL for sure I'm sooo much better than all these guys here (except Will, who is exactly matched with me, some may even say the perfect complement to me..)
Will Smith (little hearts over each "i" this time)
They might let me keep rooming with Will
Will, who, as those of us who know him like I do are aware, those of us who like me have known him for close to 48 full hours can see clearly, is a special player. Special PERSON.
CONS
?????????????????????????????????????
I did say that the guys at BU were like my brothers... eh, fuck 'em.
#like c'mon macklin be real dude#i believe the most sick and twisted option here is true#which is that they both fully decided to sign in each other's instagram DMs after saying heyyyyyyyyyyy and then maybe two other things#like on may 10th#we should shouldn't we dude#like we kind of HAVE to dude#that's what i was thinking dude#okay sick let's do it#they just have to pretend it wasn't like that#will/mack#271#hockey tag
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i'm drawing a very thin guy for once bc i gotta study anatomy and I am awful at drawing thin people and idk how can i convey a "i'm not drawing this to endorse being really underweight as a beauty standard". I want people to know this man needs some goddamn meat on his bones!!
slightly more serious talk on tags
#this comes from me having been really underweight most of my life while everyone praised me about it#it wasn't even something i tried for just metabolism and being a stress faster (anxiety takes my apetite away)#i was always on the border of blood pressure drops and anemic but it was just hard to put on weight#and no one would really give a s*** on how that impacted my health#instead people would just praise my body while it was clearly affecting my health :'')#now i look at photos of these times and i realize how extremely bad it was. it's kind of awful to see actually#i have a lot of opinions on weight and beauty standards surrounding that bc people would rather have someone unhealthy and sick#over someone with some body fat and thriving. and then they excuse their fatphobia over “concerns about health”#like no you really don't care about health you just fucking hate seeing fat people while pretending extreme underweightness is desirable
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"did you do this instead of working on-"
Yes.
#art talks about stuff#unlabelled drawing tag#i shouldn't beat myself up too much i've been busy + kind of sick but. man#there wasn't meant to be an alien in the second panel but it's interesting so i kept it#id in alt text#arthurcomics
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i think the PLA protagonist should've been allowed to attack and kill people with their bare hands
#there were multiple people i wished to feed to my arcanine and i think it's kind of sick and twisted i wasn't allowed to do that#pokemon#pokemon legends arceus#legends arceus#rei#pokemon rei#rei pokemon#pla rei#rei pla#akari#pokemon akari#akari pokemon#pla akari#akari pla#possum rambles
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does two and a half days of mostly lying down/sitting on a couch and not leaving the house decondition you enough to go from "can walk for an hour or take a moderately strenuous yoga class without notable exertion" to "standing long enough to get six things out of an overhead cabinet makes your limbs shake and break out sweating" or am i actually sick somehow
#i passed out dramatically and then i had a bunch of digestive symptoms i assumed were just from accidentally poisoning myself#with too much dairy-containing restaurant food. but stayed home because i'm exhausted and didn't want to be sick at work.#and also i was continually either in bed or on the couch because it was like 40 degrees outside and the heat wasn't on#yesterday i was like mildly more out of breath than normal while doing laundry (involves 3 flights of stairs) but not notably#and today i am abruptly really fucked up and have notable limb weakness when doing things#i'm currently trying 'eat something sugary and sit down and drink water' but food im confident i can digest requires the corner store#so i am going to have to figure something out#to be honest i was mostly malingering for the past few days it's just that i am really really really tired and also hate having digestive#issues at work and the passing out thing let me justify it#but now i'm kind of concerned i might have something wrong
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the way i think about learning and education changed sm compared to when I was younger
#like i cared so little about school when i was younger (altough maybe now i might do a little too much)#but not just that... i thought i'm just not that person who can do well at school#i can't memorise stuff well enough and i'm probably stupid anyway but who cares about that stuff and school#and i won't need it for life anyway other skills are important in the real world anyway that's all useless#i guess i also had that idea that one day i will just come up with some grand idea or business type thing to make money#i mean that's also that kind of stuff u see all over the internet and i def saw too much of that#and sure that's possible but how often and even then is it even so great having that type of job where ur never off#and like other jobs which are achieved though education have a lot of beauty too and there are many great routes which require education#at first i didn't even want to go to uni because i was so sick of school and i believed i wouldn't belong there anyway bc of those reasons#and because i thought i was too stupid in that way to make it#i also had this weird view of looking at some smart people as know it alls or being pretentious and i didn't wanna be all that??#still don't know why i thought that?? it honestly sounds sooo stupid and i also thought i wouldn't fit in with uni students anyway...#like i'm so different... couldn't have been more wrong#i never felt more belonging than at uni like this is where i'm supposed to be - the great people i met there and friends i made#and my awesome professors#i actually admire some of them so much 🥺#like i wanna be like them - whatever path i will end up in jobwise#might become a teacher too or even a professor (dare i dream lol) or sth with media could also be a great option 🤭#but what i mean why i admire them sm they're so intelligent but also many of them such great people#like empathetic helpful and idk i just love smart people#they're so well spoken and i highly value people who really know their stuff well by now and they certainly do#but not only that also having such great general knowledge u can have such interesting conversation with such people#and many professors actually have opened my eyes to many issues of our our world and made me rethink and change some of my views#or just things i wasn't even aware of bc we all live in our little bubble at time at least i certainly did#only obsessing over my little life and sometimes turning the head away from cruelities elsewhere#and i feel being an intelligent person is actually so cool now and i wanna know important stuff on many topics but especially...#about what i then can use for my future job or whatever i do in life and nothing i learn feels pointless now or almost nth#but even then useless stuff in school it wasn't all for nothing if u had approached it the right way#just learning by itself can teach you important skills and knowledge like how to learn - how to memorise stuff the best way...#or finding out what ur capable of and growing ur self esteem it's all valuable in some way
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How do you feel about the increase in really weird NSFW ads on here (advertising panels that look like sexual encounters, and AI art apps that pride themselves on porn) but will take down NSFW posts from their users, even if it isn't technically sexual.
i hate all social media and it's consistent prioritising the advertisers over the users and the internet simply was a better place before capitalism sunk its hooks into it
#i could write essays about how capitalism ruined the internet.#i was actually talking to someone earlier today about how youtube was kind of effectively ruined by monetisation.#and they were raised in the soviet union and we had a bit of a talk about how art was better because it wasn't for profit.#the people who made art made it because they wanted to do it and because they loved it.#she said that communism was terrible for every aspect of life for her. people's lives under communism wasn't pretty.#but the art was better. and i feel like it's true for the internet – it was better when it was a free-for-all.#the companies didn't know how to exploit it yet and turn it into a neverending profit-driven hellscape.#people created content because they wanted to. because they wanted to make something silly to make people laugh.#not for profit. not for gain. not for numbers. not to further their career.#i miss the days of newgrounds and youtube before monetisation.#capitalism has soiled everything that's joyful and good in this world.#people should be able to share whatever they want.#people should be able to tell any story they want without the fear of being silenced by advertisers.#that's what made the internet so beautiful before. anyone could do anything and we all had equal footing.#but now we're victims of the algorithm. and it makes me sick.#i'm quitting my job in social media. i'm quitting it. it makes me too depressed. i have an existential crisis every freaking day.#every day i wake up and say "ah. this is the fucking hell we live in#i'm so sorry i feel so passionate about this.#social media is a black hole and it is actively destroying humanity. forget ai. social media is what's doing it.#i miss how beautiful the internet used to be. it should've been a tool for good. but it's corrupt and evil now.#sci speaks
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Hello I'm randomly thinking about Healin Good PreCure for the first time in years and looking back at how wildly people misunderstood the point and expected every other season to follow a plot point that's very specific to it
#very jarring change of pace from talking about Jewish issues i know but like LISTEN#yes everyone loves Nodoka and the conclusion to her arc obviously. i love it too#but people saw her refuse help for an insanely specific reason and immediately jumped to 'every cure should now kill their villains!'#NO#THAT'S MISSING THE POINT#IT'S NOT ABOUT PACIFISM OR REDEMPTION IT'S ABOUT PERSONAL AUTONOMY#Nodoka might have forgiven or helped Daruizen if he wasn't going to take her over. make her sick and on the verge of death again#this isn't about forgiving him for being a villain but about him wanting to violate Nodoka's body#it's a very personal matter that literally only applies to her because no other cure was in this situation#none of them had to deal with a literal virus that wanted to crawl back and literally destroy their life#screaming again NODOKA ISN'T A COOL EDGY BADASS SHE'S A GIRL RECLAIMING HER BODY!!!!#SHE'S NOT A COLD BLOODED KILLER SHE'S A KIND GIRL WHO ALSO REALIZED SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO SACRIFICE HER HEALTH!!!#the expectation that every other cure after her should be violent ignores that A:#SHE WASN'T VIOLENT#SHE ONLY TOOK HIM DOWN AFTER HE LEFT HER NO CHOICE#and B: ignores. again THE EXTREMELY SPECIFIC SITUATION SHE WAS IN#yes Nodoka is a queen you go girl#but she's not a hashtag violent villain killer#the other cures aren't wrong for being forgiving#the desire for violence shouldn't be forced on a series all about compassion!!!!#anyways. um. as you can see I'm normal about PreCure#mango rambles#PreCure#healin' good precure#healin good precure#forgot how i tag it#nodoka hanadera#Cure grace#anyways um. time to watch Wonderful PreCure I guess!
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the very first era of ranboo has been over for a while now, but now it will be actually gone.
#ranboo#i started watching them a bit after he joined dsmp#man what a throwback haha#cant wait to see what they have cooking up for the future#also i knew that fucker wasn't actually quitting LMAO#no way they were already sick of this job#i was expecting a “a final godbye......of this year! haha got you!” kind of joke hahaha
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😭😭😭😭 finally got to "the c-word" and..... that was.... a Lot
but that ending was so sweet ❤️❤️❤️ ahhhh house setting up a whole scene to make a "spring break" slideshow of pictures with wilson passed is so uniquely them 😭😭
#wilson's laugh ajhhhhh#house md#house md 8x19#house md the c-word#james wilson#gregory house#hilson#hatecrimes md#fucking devastating episode#kind of insane though that had him do intense chemo in one episode and them put him back to work#i was wondering how the show was going to get to wilson being so sick#i wasn't careful and saw that wilson got cancer in the tags and saw the gifs from the c word#i thought it was gonna be a whole thing of him declining#but this is wilson of course he can't be normal#naomi watches things tag
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The verdict on panera: that sandwich was so incredible mid, weirdly wet, the greens were cooked, but i appreciated that it was light. The side of bread was like... ehhhh. Chicken noodle soup was better than canned though. And it was warm. 3/5
#mind you i am sick so i said nothing on the flavor#however the soup wasn't overly salty#buuuuut the noodles were kind of bloated? idk. still better than canned.#i recoil in horror remembering that it cost 22 whole dollars (after tax fees and tip but still)
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