#I wrote this in. uh. 2021. it's been a..... while lol

[beggingwolf]

CRYBABY

Jen gives Zhenya a look that could peel paint as he jogs out of the hotel lobby. 

“Not late,” he cuts her off as she yanks open the back door of the big, black SUV, the sort that always turns up for these events. 

“Thirty seconds,” is all she says, voice dry against the soggy, warm Newark air. Zhenya is rarely in New Jersey so early in the year and it sits on his skin like a grime. It’s nothing like the warm blanket of Miami’s heat, which Zhenya already misses even while his hair still carries the faint scent of saltwater.

Jen shuts the door loudly behind the two of them, cocooning them in the cool, air-conditioned interior, and smacks a clipboard right onto Zhenya’s thighs.

“Why?” he grumbles, and she buckles her seatbelt with a loud click as he peers at the itinerary for the NHL’s Media Tour. 

“It’s just like last year, yes?” he asks as he flicks through the pages. 

The English pokes uncomfortably at his brain, and he takes a moment to really look at the letters. He’d spent the better part of his summer carefully leafing through a Dostoevsky novel that had a glossy paperback cover and too-white pages. Between his halfhearted attempts to self-educate and his summer back in Moscow, readjusting to the spikes of written English is an ugly affair.

“Today you’ve got interviews with networks, the off-ice promotional shoot, and a Q&A session,” Jen rattles off, tapping at her phone. “Tomorrow you do on-ice filming.”

Zhenya pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek, letting the pages fall back in order before dumping the clipboard onto the empty seat next to him. The drive isn’t far; Jen had booked the same hotel the Penguins stay in when they come for games. Zhenya walks into Prudential Center through the back entrance he always uses, adjusting his suit jacket as Jen flashes her badge at the security guard. 

It’s strange, in some way, to come back to this after his summer. The reporters can’t resist bringing up the Penguins’ ignoble exit to playoffs, their postseason’s tailspin into failure. It’s easier to think of his time back in Magnitogorsk—where he had a K stitched onto his jersey instead of a C, where the media asked him pointed questions in no-nonsense tones—than it is to think about the abbreviated NHL season that had followed. 

It had been an odd year. The KHL had felt familiar and foreign all at once. Zhenya had become Malk once again, and Malk tore it up, almost two points per game. It had been fun to stretch out his old memories and readjust to the international ice size. He’d felt young again while living in his parents’ house, decorating the New Year’s yolka with them and skittering out of the way when Geoffrey, enormous and terrifying, bounded around corners and nearly took out Zhenya’s knees. 

And then he’d gotten the call that the owners and the union had figured their shit out. He’d gotten on a flight back to Pittsburgh during a winter snowstorm, Moscow howling its rage at his departure. It had been a portent of the things to come: his concussion in January, his shoulder injury in March, and then the Eastern Conference Final, where Zhenya’s Penguins had been pushed to their knees by the Bruins. 

Zhenya had barely gotten three months to lick his wounds in Moscow and tan them away in Miami. The new season stretches out in front of him, and he tries to curry hope in his chest as reporters ask him about the new divisions and his Penguins’ chances. 

He’s lingering outside of a conference room, throwing too many texts to Nealsy and pestering him about when he’ll be back in Pittsburgh, when he hears hushed voices approaching. 

He presses himself against the cinderblock wall to make room. Jen abandoned him to make sure he’s still scheduled for the roundtable discussion and Zhenya is already tired. The humidity outside leaks into the arena, and Zhenya feels rumpled and groggy and honestly doesn’t want to deal with Toews’s weighty, complicated conversations or Doughty’s gregariousness. 

“Hey,” Zhenya hears, and he looks up.

Oh. 

Zhenya has been asked about Sidney Crosby more times than he can count. Today, last season, even during the lockout. A stout little thing out of Canada, fast with the puck and strong on his skates. 

He’s bigger now than he was when Zhenya had seen him in Ufa at World Juniors, when the whole of Metallurg had hopped onto a bus, full and sated from their New Year’s dinners, and made a weekend out of watching the Canadians and Russians duke it out over bronze. 

Crosby’s smile is nothing like the sullen, angry expression that had been plastered onto his face when Russia sent Canada home empty-handed. He’s in a dark suit that’s abysmally cut for him—too boxy, an immature, poorly-tailored design that rankles Zhenya’s European sensibilities. His grin is boyish and confident, and Zhenya’s been shown a clip or two of his interviews; he’s good-tempered and answers everything asked of him.

Jen had told Zhenya to take notes. Zhenya had told Jen he was going to get her fired. 

Crosby holds out a hand, and Zhenya glances down at it.

“I’m Sid,” Crosby says. “Sidney Crosby. This is Nate. Nice to meet you.”

Lingering behind Crosby, obviously more nervous and looking like an underbaked piroshki, is MacKinnon. Canada’s two golden boys, blazing into the NHL in the wake of the lockout. 

Crosby’s smile widens, just a bit, and Zhenya finally reaches out and wraps Crosby’s smaller hand in his own. 

As soon as Zhenya engages, MacKinnon jumps forward eagerly, sticking out his own hand. Zhenya gives him a reluctant shake, and MacKinnon’s hand grips tighter. 

“Wow, Geno, like, the Russian bear, right?” MacKinnon laughs, high and delighted like he's a child and not one of Zhenya’s new coworkers. Crosby clears his throat softly but pointedly, and he widens his eyes at MacKinnon in an obvious plea to shut the fuck up.

Zhenya smirks, and when Crosby notices, his ears go pink.

[bri-jo-g]

What Inspired You To Write/Make Underanger and BTA? :3

What a question! Underanger was one of the first stories I ever made, in 2016, as a sort of an improv comic. The story is hardly recognizable from the current version. Flowey was the main character, Nimiee was an adult kinda, and it was pretty much just Undertale but edgy. Which, uh... has probably been done before. (Below is one of Nimiee and Flowey's first interactions. Its very... time accurate lol)

This version has been overtaken by my brother and has morphed into something gloriously cursed.

I rewrote UA again later, translated that rewrite directly into a comic— a comic so bad that I literally forgot the only good ending, aptly called the "secret ending". Years later, after not thinking about UA whatsoever, the secret ending suddenly invaded my mind and haunted me. Below are concepts from 2021-ish, made, fittingly, in secret so no old fans would get their hopes up.

Anyway, a year ago I got back into Undertale after ranting late at night about how good it is (and making a horribly cursed Down to the Bone parody that's very popular now send help) and decided to revisit UA. I finally made the secret ending, and started to rewrite UA into the current version!

BTA started because I couldn't stop thinking about Alphys's past and had so many ideas that I felt the UA world would be missing context without some way to show her past and, specifically, her colleagues. My concept for BTA was initially described as "a cutesy slice of life, with a very disturbing story bubbling under the surface".

While I wrote the secret ending I remembered I hate the old UA comic lol so I stopped, saying I would revisit it after I finish BTA. (Which is looking like a long time from here, but I am determined!) However, I left a great send off with the only time I've ever drawn Ink!Sans LOL. I did a bad thing tho and ended it off on a cliffhanger. Very Bri Jo of me. Strangely, the exact scene that I drew for the concept above is the cliffhanger. (Hard to tell, but that's undyne's ponytail in the corner) strange how that happens, huh?

[lazaruspiss]

DC Pride 2021

ive been meaning to do a read through of the DC Pride series all June. and, well. technically still June!

oh my god i recognize the name of the guy who wrote the foreword as the guy who wrote the shitty at best and misogynistic at worst nightwing 96 annual. so, uh, setting that aside for now, lol. the foreword is very sincere and sweet and im not gonna be one of those assholes who refuses to acknowledge that bc he wrote some dogwater nightwing comic years ago.

this isn't actually my first time reading most of the DC Pride comics, just my first time taking notes as I go through them. I do remember 2/3 of the Kate stories bringing me to tears, even when I didn't really know anything about her character.

ok yeah this one still gets me. go read it. for reference, i start crying the page before we first see kate cry. it's beautifully illustrated, and hits me right where it hurts.

john constantine hits on a extraño, listens to him tell a story about how he and midnighter fought a homophobic neo nazi vampire, and then john invites him and his werewolf husband to a threesome.

i love the vibes thatre just. like its so cliche noir detectives, but lesbians. and the dorky ending. MWAH, chefs kiss.

shout out to the guys that just stay sat eating their food as a giant plant monster tears up the park. while im not at all a fan of the "kiss and make up" trope(s), i do appreciate that this story at least gives some mention to how ivy and harley kinda approach their relationship from opposing angles. like, i like harlivy well enough, but my ideal world is one where they learn about themselves by being together but eventually move on from their romantic relationship and explore new things. i just don't like how heavily DC seems to have tied them together since they became canon. their friendship before was more romantic/compelling in my eyes, somehow.

this one's about alan scott! his history with his sexuality, explored through his relationship with his son. it's an incredibly important angle to look at these things through, the gap between generations and the changes that took time. it's easy enough to forget all that, sometimes. it's fun seeing the difference between how father and son describe the queer experience. it's also just really sweet.

ohhh they made mirror master hot... reflek... dumbass name but a killer outfit. this ones more about the flash family tradition of trying to do it all and bein a bit of a mess, lol.

love that pied piper goes to this guy and is like "yeah ok, i appreciate the effort but this doesn't actually work. like you're right but we gotta figure smth else out bc the world don't work like that." also they do use the phrase "mind-rapey" which for some reason gets me. then they go threaten a landlord <3

pretty sure the main girl "Dreamer" is from a CW show or something, so i've never heard of her. her powers seem cool and the story is cute enough, but i assume it all makes more sense to those who have seen the show.

one of these days ill learn anything about other aqualad. there's a lot going on in this one and i find it hard to follow. it's supposed to be a big "everyone together!!" moment i think, but the story lengths don't allow for enough build up to really pull stuff like that off.

and the end is a bunch of arrowverse profiles, i think. you cant make me watch a CW show, sorry.

[pidayforpi]

(Okay.

So, if anyone remembers: In last July (which was already nearly 9 months ago omg), there was a "Donro Week 2023" event here. From 23 July to 29 July.

For once, I had...actually planned to participate in it (which would have been the second time I participate in a community event, after a (small) Discord secret santa in 2021).

Of course via writing, because you won't want to see me draw.

The format of the (story) writings would have been like this:

If anyone still remembers, there were "question prompts" for each day of the Donro Week (in addition to the "one-word" prompts, like "Lazy Days" for Day 1, or "AU" for Day 6).

The question prompts were something like:

[Day 1: "How do you think Donald and Gyro first met and become friends, then eventual partners?"

Day 2: "What qualities do Donald and Gyro get annoyed by or not like in each other?"

Day 5: "How do you think the extended Gearloose and Duck family would react to their relationship?"]

etc.

What I had planned to do, was writing out a set of Dewey Dew-Night interview scenarios, in which Dewey asks Paperino and Archimedes the corresponding question for that day.

[NB: Not Donald and Gyro, at least not the DT17 versions. You will see why below.]

The format would have actually been like the "Chicken Soup" thing I had written all the way in 2020. Free form, equally cringe.

Uh...that didn't happen. Obviously. And for some unknown reasons, because I was somewhat motivated and inspired during that time much better than now at least. So...sorry.

But what I did write, however, was the "intro" to this set of "interview stories"...which is the entire purpose I am saying all this context all of a sudden. It has been a while, and way too long since I last produced and published...something.

It is a very short story - not even a complete one - but it is one of the last things I did before I kind of...stopped. Everything.

I also wrote this on a train, too.)

[A very late tag, but I hope it is the thought that counts. Thank you for organising this wonderful event. Just watching/reading through others' works was already super awesome.]

@donro-week

Donro Week 2023 [July 23th ~ July 29th]

(Just a small note: Sentences/Words in italic mean they are not supposed to be caught on camera, but are caught on camera accidentally regardless.)

Dewey: (Dewey Dew-Night Intro!)

Dewey: "And joining us tonight are two birds of a feather you know very well, yet ALSO know NOTHING about! *Gasp!* How is that possible?! Go on, ask! How is that possible?!"

"......"

Huey: "What?"

Dewey: "Dude, you are supposed to ask out loud. We've talked about this."

Louie: "You...you were serious..."

Dewey: "When was I not serious? Actually, don't answer that. Just cooperate. Ask that aloud, c'mon."

Huey & Louie: "*Sigh* Oh my god, how is that possible?!"

Dewey: "Well, I dunno!"

*LOL!*

*Facepalm*

Dewey: "But we are about to find out! 'Cause joinin' us tonight is the greatest uncle of the universes...Donald Duck!"

Donald (Paperino): "Hi!...wait where even is the camera? That rectangular gadget on the stack of books?"

Dewey: "As well as the brightest mind in all Duckburgs, across space and time...Gyro Gearloose!"

Gyro (Archimedes): "H-hello...! Nice to meet you, people of the...uh...interweb? Internetwork? What was that again, modern Dewey?"

Dewey: "*chuckle* Well, pardon the old timers, you can say they might as well have come from the 20th century!"

*Laughter!*

Dewey: "And if you have guessed so, you are absolutely CORRECT! No prize though, sorry. Don't think they are only cosplaying..."

Paperino: "Cospl...what?"

Archimedes: "Just go along with it, honey..."

Dewey: "'Cause who you are seeing are literal time travellers! *Gasp!*"

Archimedes: "Well, technically, we are dimension trav-"

Dewey: "Thanks to this world's Gyro's now upgraded Time n' Space Tub™️..."

Huey: "Which he forbids you from entering a 20-metre radius around?"

Dewey: "...which I definitely have permission to enter a 20-metre radius around! Now! I bring you, Paperino and Archimedes Pitagorico! Donald Duck and Gyro Gearloose from another universe!"

*Fanfare! Applause!*

Dewey: "Stay tuned after the intermission for the exciting interview that ensues!"

Louie: "Wait, you literally haven't done anything yet-"

Dewey: "This is Dewford Dingus Duck, your beloved handsome host from Dewey Dew-Night! Don't forget to like n' subscribe! See ya!"

Louie: "Dude, you literally haven't done ANYTHING yet!"

Paperino: "Subscribe? Is this a newspaper or a magazine?"

Archimedes: "Wait, is this an interroga-"

*Recording cuts*

(11-7-2023)

[slenbee]

Hiii Slen!! :D

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

HELLO ANABANANA!! (sorry I'm late orz)

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

This is a tough question! BUT LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.

I made my first OC back in the 8th grade of school (I graduated in 2010). Her name was Angel, and she was a vampire who hunted other vampires and demons. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. And I wrote her into a fanfic on paper that was 15 pages long set in the Devil May Cry 3 universe.

Little Slen was fucking proud of this fan fic you don't even know.

AND I STILL HAVE IT IN MY ROOM. IN A BOX. TO THIS DAY.

And STILL, TO THIS DAY. I RP Angel with my best friend of 18 years Jimmy who I met online and we do silly lil stories/RPs and stuff with.

But after I had covid in Dec 2021 into Jan 2022, it's like my muse to write just took a downwards turn. It's like I can't concentrate on writing long stories/fics or even RP anymore?? And I used to do it a lot. Like... Bruh, have you seen my Ao3?

And for a while I was writing Bucky/Reader because I got real into it and even started Terato Adventures and then my health was like 'haha fuck you' and started going downhill too...

BUT my recent depression med change as of like 2 weeks ago seems to really be helping??? So I hope to start up again??

TL:DR- I like both? I guess it depends on the type of story that I'm wanting to write. Or the 'mood' that I'm in.

Bucky looks like freakin Billy Mitchell in the Thunderbolts trailer and that just made me 💀💀💀 so idk if I'll write any Bucky/reader stuff any time soon if/when I see the movie.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh.. um.. I'm not 100% sure because it's been literal years since I've written anything for a 'project' or a fic.. But I'd probably say... anything related to terato/monster content that I've written or thought about writing because uh... yeah. Stuff can get real weird, real fast, and you can wind up learning things about stuff you prrrrobably didn't want to know lol.

Maybe think twice about doing research on snake anatomy if you want to write something about a handsome naga/snake man that's 'anatomically correct'... just sayin...

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

I LOVE INTERNET MEMES/REFERENCES SO I WILL NAME 5. (these are not in any particular order btw.)

Road work ahead? Uh yeah I sure hope it does.

Blblblbl A-ha-ha! - The 7th Element by Vitas

Bustin.

Hot MILF eating beans. (Vargskelethor)

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM.

:D Thank you for sending an ask!

[ren-shonen]

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

This is an interesting question, because I don't think I've got a whole lot of deliberate "I want to write like so-and-so" going, and when I read, it's not usually with intention to take elements away to apply to my own writing. But, naturally, my writing style, character interpretations, various setting-related headcanons, etc. all come from somewhere, whether it's the Star Wars novels I devoured as a child, the slightly mind-boggling amounts of fic I've read (closing in on 10,000 works visited on AO3 since 2013), my experiences in MMORPG roleplaying, the general milieu of BNHA Twitter circa 2021-2022, or the meta discussions I've had with folks while (re)watching the series. I know I've been influenced; it's just difficult for me to pick all those things apart in a conscious way. It all ends up in the soup, you know?

However, there is one specific example that comes to mind: when I was writing "Morning (calls for pain relief)," I did consciously refer to chalk's work — particularly Complicated Problems and the People Who Solve Them. In that fic, gy wrote Kirishima's POV using this wonderfully clear and unadorned way of speaking, which is what I knew I wanted for his narrative voice. The problem that I had run into was that I had no "mind's ear" for what that could sound like in non-dialogue prose. My default style of speaking and writing tends to be a little, uh... convoluted? I tend to use compound-complex sentences (because that's how the ideas are linked together in my brain); I often lean heavily on metaphorical language; sometimes my vocabulary gets away from me. In short, my writing can be very abstract. While this can work alright for Izuku's branching, analytical rambles (lol), it doesn't fit Kiri's straightforward way of speaking and his grounded, down-to-earth thought processes. So I studied up. :) (I also have to give due credit to my beta for that story, my friend Mae, who was very patient with picking out when I had slipped into academic-ese again.)

Now that I think about it... I'd say that there are definitely a number of BNHA fic authors whose works have supported my overall fic-writing approach in some way — though emboldened might be a better word. While I couldn't point to specific examples for how their influence has shown up in my writing, their works have made me feel like it's not only permissible, but positive to write outside the usual thoroughfares — to bring in themes, styles, concepts, and ways of relating that are essential to me, even if trying to describe them using the existing fic taxonomy feels like it results in total mistranslation.

A (very incomplete, alphabetical) list might include asdfjkl129, capra, chickwen, chymerical, ContraryBee, FeyPenDragon, Graendal, stereonightss, and vocal_fries. (edit: now with links!)

[andacherrycoke]

Fuck It Friday

Tagged by @gayhoediaz ✌🏻

Keeping my tradition of giving you a whole chunk of something I wrote and then abandoned lol. Started this way back in October 2021 for Halloween, but very quickly realized that while I actually really love this opening, it is extremely not the tone the rest of the fic would’ve taken—I actually shared a later scene back then, if anyone who’s been following me that long remembers, and it was much lighter in tone. So not wanting to change the beginning and not wanting to change the rest I just kind of. Quit. But I think about it every once in a while, so maybe one day I’ll crack it. But for now, have the opening.

Tagging the usual suspects up here since the rest is under a cut: @rewritetheending @fiona-fififi @comaboybuck @elvensorceress @sibylsleaves @eddiequinns @alyxmastershipper @achillesbuck @clusterbuck @ajunerose @wandiinha retroactively adding @megsvstheworld because I couldn’t remember your new url and tumblr wouldn’t autofill it and then I…forgot to go back and add it rip sorry

Oh, and fyi? This is kind of gory

Buck comes to in the back of the ambulance, lurching up with a hungry gasp.

It’s a good thing, too, because he looks down at his chest just in time to watch the ragged claw marks seal themselves up and fade into pale pink lines, and that probably would’ve been hard to explain at the hospital.

“What the fuck,” Hen breathes.

“Buck,” Eddie gasps, his voice raw like he’d been screaming, and the last several minutes come back to Buck in a blur of pain and motion.

They’d been called to an empty warehouse, the caller not giving much information past “massive blood loss” and “hurry,” so they’d had no idea what they’d be walking into.

Buck’s not sure there were any words that could’ve prepared them.

It was like walking into a horror movie. Buck has seen a lot of blood, and gore, and death in his time as a firefighter, but this…

He could smell blood in the air, so thick the taste was on his tongue. He saw Hen actually cover her mouth like she might be about to gag, something he’d never seen her do.

Worse somehow than the smell and the taste was the sight.

He’d never seen someone in so many pieces. There are so many pieces he’s not even sure if it is just one person. But no matter the number they are far beyond the 118’s help.

It took every ounce of willpower he could muster to not turn tail and run back to the safety of their vehicles.

“Was… Was there an explosion?” Eddie asked hesitantly, eyes searching for any evidence to back that up.

Even Bobby looked shaken as he turned back to them. “Something’s very wrong here, let’s move back to the truck and call in LAPD-“

Whatever he was about to say next was cut short when something massive and grey came out of nowhere and slammed into him, and everything from that moment until he woke up in the ambulance is a confusing blur that he has to be getting wrong.

Because he remembers some sort of… creature. Like a wolf, but so much larger, with teeth and claws that tore at them like sharp knives.

“You stopped breathing,” Eddie says now, almost an accusation, the sound bringing Buck back to the present.

“I’m breathing now,” he assures him, swallowing thickly at the haunted look in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Uh, guys,” Chim says, and the tone of his voice gets their attention immediately. He’s staring down at his arm, the uniform sleeve shredded to bits.

“Is it worse than we thought?” Hen demands, shifting out of shock at Buck’s rapid recovery and into paramedic mode.

“No,” he says at Hen grabs his arm and starts to assess. “There’s nothing there.”

“What?” Eddie demands.

“That fucking whatever the fuck it was bit me right here on the arm, but it’s gone.”

“That’s not possible,” Hen says, her voice shaky even as she wipes the blood off his arm and reveals unbroken skin.

“And Buck sitting up right when I thought we were about to have to call time of death is, Hen?”

“Time of death…?” Buck mumbles faintly, but other than Eddie’s hand grasping his wrist tightly his words go unnoticed.

“We- we were just wrong, about how severe his wounds were-“

“How’s your leg, Hen?”

Hen stops, her jaw working. “It’s fine.”

“Funny, because I know I saw-“

“Hey,” Eddie snaps, voice quiet, eyes darting towards the cab. “We need to table this. Hen, alert the driver and the hospital that it was a false alarm, Chim, get Bobby on the radio so he knows Buck’s ok.”

Buck feels like he’s tuning in and out. The image of that creature is seared into his brain, the fact that it bit Chim, maybe Hen too, the way they’ve all healed.

It can’t be possible.

But he knows the creature he saw was a wolf. Much bigger than any he’s ever seen before, but a wolf nonetheless.

“Werewolf,” he breathes, eyes wide.

Eddie releases his hold on Buck’s wrist in favor of his hand. “Hey, you’re ok,” he says, and only then does Buck realize he was on the verge of hyperventilating.

“How bad was I hurt?” He asks quietly.

Eddie looks away. “Buck…”

“Eddie, please, I need to know. How bad was it?”

A war plays out in a matter of seconds on Eddie’s face, and then it looks like he has to steel himself. “You were… eviscerated. It was…” he trails off, shaking his head. “Suffice to say it’s a miracle we even got you in the ambulance alive.”

Buck doesn’t know what to do with that. He’s faced death before, but that… He brushes it aside because he has to. “And you? You’re ok?”

Eddie huffs a bitter laugh. “Yeah, I just have some scratches on my back. Somebody had to play hero and put himself in front of me even though that thing had already knocked him on his ass,” he says, a bit of an edge in his voice.

Buck doesn’t remember doing it but he doesn’t have to to know it’s true. “And Bobby?”

“Bit banged up. You’re the only one that was seriously hurt.”

“What happened to it? The were- the creature?” He can’t bring himself to say werewolf again. It makes him sound crazy, even if that’s all this night has turned out to be.

“Ran off. I cracked its skull with my Haligan so I don’t know if it got far.” Eddie looks at the shredded remnants of Buck’s shirt. “Actually, I guess it’s probably fine.”

Buck shudders to think of that thing still out there, after the sight they found and what it did to him.

“Buck, talk to Cap, tell him you’re ok.” Chimney interjects, sounding frustrated.

Buck takes the offered radio. “Hey Cap, I’m fine,”

“What the hell, Buck? You were… You-“

“I know. But I’m fine now, promise. You’ll see for yourself back at the station.”

“Are you sure you don’t need a hospital?”

“I’m sure. We’ll see you at the station.”

——

The perils of a modern design incorporating glass instead of proper walls is there’s nowhere to go to not be gawked at when everyone is nothing but torn clothes and bloodstains.

“Roof,” Bobby said after taking in the sight of them. His eyes lingered on the scraps of fabric hanging across Buck’s chest, like he hadn’t believed he was ok until he’s seeing it.

Buck gets it. He’s still trying to wrap his head around it.

They file out on the roof, Eddie staying glued to Buck’s side, but it’s not like he minds, he can’t imagine not feeling untethered with all that’s happening right now.

Bobby’s still looking at him like he might vanish.

“I’m fine,” he insists.

“Not that I’m complaining, but how?”

“Cap… Did you get bitten, or scratched?” Chimney ventures.

Bobby’s brow furrows. “I think it scratched me, on the shoulder,” he answers, tugging at a tear in his uniform to look at his skin underneath. “I don’t see anything, must not have broken the skin.”

The rest of them exchange a glance, and Chim takes the lead again. “Then why is there blood on your uniform?”

“It’s probably Buck’s, what is going on?”

“We were all bitten or scratched. But all the wounds have healed,” Buck answers. They’d checked Hen’s leg and Eddie’s back on the way back to the station, all there was were the faintest of marks, almost impossible to see if you didn’t know exactly where to look.

“That’s impossible. We must’ve all just thought we were wounded,” Bobby argues, not sounding convinced of his own words.

“You saw Buck. He was… He stopped breathing, in the ambulance, but then he started healing, rapidly. I saw it with my own eyes,” Hen admits.

“Maybe we were dosed with something. A hallucinogen at the scene.”

[elysian-prince]

2021 Fic Review

Thank you for the tags, @binaryeclipse and @edge-ofnight! 💜💜💜

✨ total number of completed works: 6 completed works for 2021! though one of them was started in 2020 lol

💜 total word count: 72,806

✨ looking back did you write more, less, or the expected amount of fic this year?: Tbh I wrote a little less than I had planned and expected of myself, but the later part of the year has been rather difficult with family matters, so I’ve tried to not be too hard on myself about it!

💜 your own favorite story of this year?: I’m going to be a gay little shit and say just let me love you, which is the fic I wrote for @binaryeclipse for Valentine’s Day. It was the first time I had ever written a fic specifically for someone, and I enjoy going back and re-reading it not only because the boys are especially sweet in it, but also because I can see how clearly I was trying to convey “hey I like you, I really really like you” LOL. I think it worked?

✨ did you take any writing risks this year?: Hmmm, not... particularly, but I did include a bit of religious symbolism kink in a PWP oneshot for my modern AU and I guess that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

💜 do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?: I would really, really like to finish all of my current WIPs, especially my rewrite of i’d give you my sunshine. On AO3 it looks like I haven’t touched it in a year, but I swear I’ve been hard at work on it, omg.

✨ most popular story of the year?: i just want you for my own. Honestly, I never expected this to be the fic that resonated with people so much! I came up with the car scene dialogue in chapter 1 while vacuuming one day and thought it would just be some silly oneshot. Now it’s my most popular fic ever by kudos :0

💜 story most underappreciated?: you’re holy to me. While I was writing it, I thought people would at least read it for the hot, vaguely religious smut, but uhh, I guess y’all aren’t into that despite the amount of priest Obi-Wan love? I kinda expected a better response on a PWP from such a horny fandom. If I dare say so myself, it’s really good and something I enjoy re-reading, so I truly wish people would at least give it a chance.

✨ most fun to write?: 🤔 Probably you’re holy to me? I tried to really let loose and explore things I’ve never written before! I also spent a lot of time looking up demon and angel costumes and lingerie, lol.

💜 most unintentionally telling story?: dreams of summer. Well, it’s not necessary unintentional, because I was very much intentional in delving into the subject of platonic versus romantic love. What I suppose wasn’t intentional was including so much of my thoughts and feelings regarding the development of my own relationship with my girlfriend.

✨ biggest disappointment?: Mmmmm, the general lack of response to every story I’ve written in the same AU as my most popular fic. With how popular the first fic in the series is, I kinda expected people to want more of the boys after they got together, but uh, apparently not. Y’all are missing out, established relationship fics are WONDERFUL 😤 at least my girlfriend has good taste. (/j)

💜 biggest surprise?: I didn’t expect dreams of summer to turn out as lengthy as it did, and I’m surprised I finished it as quickly as I did, but I guess I was also literally jobless at the time LMAO.

✨ my favorite part of fandom this year?: I’ve really enjoyed all of the friendships I’ve made within the obikin fandom. I’ve never had this much interaction with others within a fandom before, and it’s really great to feel like you belong to a part of a community, especially in these difficult times we’re in. Tagging: hmmm, I’m not sure who hasn’t been already been tagged yet! so if you see this and would like to do it, go for it and say I tagged you lol.

[backhurtyy]

tagged by my beloved @verdanthoney to answer some fic questions and i do love to talk about my writing so…. here we go!!!

how many stories did you complete?

14???? holy shit that is a lot.

what are you most proud of accomplishing?

i’m really proud of finishing never shall we die. for a while there i wasn’t sure i’d finish it in time, because i was trying to finish it while i was recovering from my second surgery and writing was really hard. but i did get it done, and i’m really proud of how it turned out!

what is your total word count for the year?

273,654….. bestie what?????? where did those come from???

which fandoms did you write in this year?

so i published fic for atla, sk8, pjo, and soul eater. and then i have drafts for star wars and hades and fullmetal alchemist as well.

did you write more, less, or roughly about what you expected?

uhhhhh more lol. it doesn’t feel like that much, but when i look at the numbers for how many fics and words i wrote it’s like. holy shit.

what’s you favorite story of the year?

my top five cause i can’t choose are: tattoo the spaces, all that you need, never shall we die, the sound of longing, and a steady hand to hold

what is your most underappreciated story of the year?

uhhh definitely i cant breathe without you (but i have to) but that makes sense cause you have to read right on the target to understand it.

biggest fanfic-related disappointment of 2021?

that i didn’t finish my reki one shot, and that i didn’t finish more fics in general. i just lost writing steam and motivation and now i’ve been going through uh… kind of a lot lmao, so it’s gotten really hard.

something you look forward to working on in 2022?

once again, my reki one shot!!!! it’s getting very long, but i figured out a way to break it up (involving the stages of grief cause that’s where i’m at unfortunately) that i think is going to be really cool. also i’m excited to work on my fic i’m writing for jo lol. it’s takin a while but it’ll get there someday!!!

tagging: @rejectscanon @that-was-anticlimactic @gendercloud and @girluncle 💖💖💖

[ilkkawhat]

end of the year creative reflection

Got tagged by @nade2308 💜💜💜

Since I’m in a good mood, and I absolutely love doing this stuff--and the best part is, I’ve been legit keeping track of my writing progress this year lol

1) What is your favorite thing you created? Which work are you the proudest of?

There are a few fics I’ve started that I am in love with the idea of but haven’t quite posted anything yet--I got a fic where Nick gets kidnapped and gets put in a “Dangerous Game” scenario and basically loses a year of his life held captive in a cage, the House of Wax inspired fic, a post grave danger fic that’s gonna be super emotional, a Creep inspired Nick/Nigel AU fic...

And some that I’ve started and have incredible ideas for, Death by a Thousand Cuts (Nick/Greg soulmate AU where pain translates to your soulmate’s body), First Flight (A Last Breath sequel), Seven Devils (A Karma to Burn AU where Nick is shot) and literally a little over one week I started The Stokes Family Christmas Chronicles--a chronicle fic that will go through Nick and his family through various Christmases (right now it’s mostly with my OC wife and his kids, but the other CSI characters will start to show up) and I’m having such a blast with it, and I’m also proud of it cause I had a day early on in December where I said I wasn’t going to write for the rest of the year and well...you can see how that ended up. 

And of course. Specimen Stokes. Cannot stress that enough lmao, that is the work I am absolutely proudest of. It’s one of the wildest things I’ve ever written, but also the most wonderful in terms of how much fun I’m having.

2) Is there anything else you are proud of that you achieved this year?

Honestly making anything is quite the achievement, given the sharing hiatus I took earlier in the year, the month I spent with a 0 word count, incredibly intrusive thoughts and I probably said something along the lines of “I am never writing again” at least 10 times this year, not counting any bad days before 3/14/2021, I had 94 qualified bad days this year (and I mean bad)...and yet. I still wrote 54/94 of those bad days. In contrast to that month I spent with 0 words, I had a month where I wrote 100 minimum every day. There were plenty of days where I said I was going to give up and then the next day pulled a 2k+ fic out of nowhere, or finished a WIP even if it wasn’t perfect.

I’ve written almost 200,000 words total this year and am still alive, still creating.

And that is enough. I am enough.

(also legit didn’t think I’d make anything mac related ever again due to some intrusive thoughts/discouragement that I don’t think will ever go away and I’m surprised every time I create despite it so. that’s nice lol)

3) Did you explore anything new this year? (A new way to be creative, a trope you didn't write before or an idea you hadn't thought of earlier, etc.)

I did some uh. Pretty intense stuff in Specimen Stokes, starting to cross that line of dub-con (not full on non-con, but I do have a different WIP in mind where I will be putting up those warnings), and this fic is quite honestly that fic that is just pulling so much out of me that I’d never expect to publish--and I’m even starting to build like. An actual universe, I got sequel ideas, I wanna make backstories, it’s the first AU I feel like is a legit AU.

And speaking of AUs, I feel like I’ve been doing more of those, where I’m starting to change canon in huge ways--I came up with this great idea for Agony this year where I’m going to completely deviate from canon while I’ve been trying to work with the canon until now. 

I also feel I wrote more like...idk, rare pair stuff or stuff that’s not like, super popular? Down in Mexico, a Nick/Silva fic that I have great plans for that is also a huge AU, Interesting, a Nick/Detective Secula fic (she was a minor character in one episode of season one lol), a few DaltonStokes fics but When the Bough Breaks is my favorite, and just generally have been writing more like, “solo” Nick fics? (Thinking of Empty on this one, and a lot of these fics have also been a bit cathartic for me to release some of my own feelings or explore some twisted dreams lol) I found a trend this year where I would write a little fic based on an episode during my rewatch, whether a tag or a rewrite or missing scene--What’s going to happen to me now?, a gum drops fic, is one of the best examples of this 

Giffing wise I started doing that like, “gradient” effect to my gifs and finally found a suitable way to do my watermark that’s not incredibly obnoxious lol. I feel like the quality of my gifs has really improved, too.

4) Which work gave you the most difficulty? What was your biggest creative challenge this year?

writing at all and also myself as a whole

AGONY. I swear to y’all that I wanted to finish it this year and I barely got a chapter done--a chapter that I even cut in half given what I originally had wanted to post, but I’ve realized lately that people probably don’t want to read 10k+ chapters anyway so maybe the splits will be good in the long run.

But legit, looking back on my writing progression spreadsheet (yeah I’m keeping a spreadsheet for word count and to do statistical analysis lol) there were just...a lot of bad things I said to myself this year that definitely impacted my creating so. it’s been really difficult this year for me in general, and I have been a bit disappointed in what I didn’t do or didn’t get done.

5) Which work brought you the most joy?

Specimen Stokes continues to be my #1 dopamine fic just cause I get so giddy when planning it all out, and feel most of my creative energy has been directed at it (in hindsight, I probably should have even kept track of how many words per established WIP just to see which one is the most worked on?) And of course, I will admit that it’s not been perfect, I’ve been highly insecure with each deeper plunge I take or get to that point like I did with Agony where I hate what I’ve done and just want to delete it all and re-do it...but that was only once or twice. Over all, this is one of my best fic writing experiences.

6) Which of your works do you think people should check out?

Everything! I selfishly feel that nothing gets the attention it deserves (and hell that’s partially why I went on a sharing hiatus to begin with, and also cause a therapist told me to) but at the same time know that it’s an impossible expectation to have, but I feel like I have enough variety in my content that there’s something for everyone? And yeah, again, I know rare pairs are just that, rare, and I shouldn’t expect really anything out of those fics, I am and did write those for myself. And like, idk, sometimes it’s not even the quantity of feedback (though noticeably my ao3 stats are much lower this year than the last two...which is my fault) but the quality if that makes sense? And it’s entirely my fault, I shouldn’t think this way or be thirsting for feedback and I probably just got too addicted to the validation I used to get that I just don’t get anymore and it’s my responsibility to see the worth in my creations but...it can just...get really discouraging sometimes. (and honestly if anything I probably should stop sharing so much as a result of that)

Also specifically I thought my fic The Day the World Went Away was going to get a lot more feedback than it did...and idk if that’s just cause it’s yet another WIP--I realize that maybe having too many open WIPs may turn people away, or maybe I just hyped this one up too much and it didn’t live up to it--the fic is Nick, Greg, Hodges and Henry exploring a haunted mansion.

7) Do you have creative plans for next year? Is there anything exciting you are currently working on?

Just gonna keep going as much as I can, I definitely want to finish Agony next year and possibly Specimen Stokes too, and get started on both of their sequels. I also have the Last Breath sequel that I started and have tremendous plans for, and like. 40 other WIPs to work on (INCLUDING A LOT OF ANON PROMPTS I SWEAR!! I’M GONNA WRITE!)

and I guarantee there will be surprises for me next year in terms of creating just like this year, there always is lol

BUT I will already cut myself a break if I don’t happen to get anything done given everything going on in work right now (lots of new responsibilities with this promotion) and you can quote me on that if I start complaining about it.

8) Lastly, any words of wisdom or anything else you would like to share?

Don’t give up. Don’t delete. I have done both of these things and will honestly admit I still want to do these things, but it will hurt you more than anything you can ever imagine, you will lose so much of not just yourself, but valuable support that you probably took for granted and there’s nobody to blame but yourself. You’ll just end up more lonely than you may already feel. 

But on a happier less deprecating note...those feelings will pass, and while they may come back they won’t persist forever. Just keep going. Cherish the people who encourage you, don’t be afraid to ask for their help, don’t take them for granted, let them know how much they mean to you. 

And most importantly, remind yourself how much your creations mean to you. Go back and re-read your fics. Surf through your art tag. Maybe even make something that you don’t share with anybody (advice I have been told before, and I do kinda have some stuff I don’t intend to share but I definitely need to follow this better) 

And above it all, you are worth it. you are enough. 

Keep going. 

tagging, and feel free to not do this if you don’t want, or if you’re not tagged and want to do this go ahead and say I tagged you: @frozenmemories1987, @jencsi, @letswaitforme, and again, anybody else who wants to do this!

[agent-yolk-writes]

Fanfiction Year in Review Meme

Figure I'd do something different for 2021. Hopefully I can remember what I did this year. Technically I'm supposed to be tagged and tag someone else, but alas I got no one to tag

What is your total word count for the year?

I made a lot of WIPs that I'm sure counted for a lot of words, but in terms of actual posting via AO3 I calculated that my post word count is just a little over 19k.

What fandoms did you write in this year?

A lot of Obey Me as well as Pokemon SwSh (for a zine piece), ITSV/Venom, Fate (obviously), a tiny thing for Godzilla S.P., and Jojo (both fic update and zine piece). I've been messing around with a few crossover ideas for Obey Me, one included a tokusatsu/superhero au (think Ultraman, maybe?) and another that included nightmare on elm street. I'm confident to post at least the first chapter(?) of the NoES.

I, uh, got into horror movies these year...mostly slashers set in the DbD universe despite never playing it. Maybe that's how I got that Nightmare idea? Idk. Maybe because Dead Meat remade their Friday the 13th kill counts this year I grew fond of Jason. Let's see if I can churn out something I like. Oh! I also began drafting an idea for a Jujutsu Kaisen/Chainsaw Man idea that's both reader insert and...smut. It might be a while before that comes out.

Did you write more, less, or roughly about what you expected?

I'm surprised I wrote a lot this year. I managed to bring out my first long fic out of temporary stasis and if it wasn't for my shitty ass job wasting most of my time and the fact I don't have access to my go to writing place (aka my college library, which is far away), I'd have more chapters of that.

But my ITSV/Venom fic requires less brain cells as it's honestly good dumb fun. People have been really enjoying it and vocalize how excited they are for the next chapter. Oooh, I have such big plans but not enough time for that fic.

What’s your own favorite story of this year?

Friends Like You and Us, definitely. As I mentioned, it's good dumb fun for everyone involved. It mashed my two favorite hyperfixations together as my love for MCU practically diminishes. But I always had a soft spot for Spider-Man and Venom so they can stay for as long as they like.

What is your most underappreciated story of the year?

I Think My Sister is Up to Something. Despite all the enabling and feedback from my friends when I was throwing around ideas, I don't really get that much engagement and I'm really sad about that. Having Rin did silly hijinks, revealing the reroll roster chapter by chapter, dropping clues as to who or what Sakura is with...I'm essentially talking to a wall as I am every day. I did, however, commission something to draw Suzuka in the FSN school uniform, so I'm taking that as a W

What’s your most appreciated story of 2021?

In terms of fan engagement outside of ITSV/Venom, definitely, You're My Dad! Boogie Woogie Woogie! Probably because of the Diavolo simps lol. I do have a Type(tm) and Diavolo definitely is that, and yet I made a 180 turn and projected my ideals onto him. Whoopsie. But hey, if the other OM stans enjoyed it than it worked out just fine.

Biggest fanfic related disappointment of 2021?

I Think My Sister is Up To Something. For obvious reasons. Maybe my SwSh zine piece for lack of engagement as well.

Biggest fanfic related surprise of 2021?

Definitely the Diavolo fic since I got a notification that someone put it in their private collection of Feel Good fics when they're down. That warmed my heart.

Something you are looking forward to working on in 2022?

Doing more writing, doing more posting, maybe start doing headcanons again. I hope in the future I can get accepted into more zines as a writer, maybe even a guest writer. I also want to do a fic collab with a friend, it's been a long time since I've done that kind of thing. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll remember to participate in NaNoWriMo

[justjstuff]

HI J!!!!!! hope you're doing well and having a great week! for the asks!!! :)))

5, 10, 14, 15, 18, 19, 20

Hiya, honey!! Hope you’re okay <3 Thanks for the asks!!! :D

5. What’s a crackship you love?

R: Oh boy, what even is a crackship in this day and age xD I guess I don’t have one? I think the idea of a crackship is honestly so old lmao Back in the day I think it used to mean like... funny, unlikely ships? But it was mostly used for rareships and... I dunno. I don’t like the connotations of it lol Basically I don’t have one bc I don’t like calling any ship a crackship xD

10. Mutual pining or enemies to friends to lovers?

R: Enemies to friends to lovers with a dash of mutual pining and maybe hold the friends? xD I love enemies to lovers and while I do find enemies-to-friends-to-lovers interesting, I always prefer when that friendship is more tentative or like a forced partnership? Mutual pining is great imo... in small doses. I absolutely HATE the going around that happens with fics that focus on that? Like, the endless miscommunications and the unnecessary angst... really not my thing. 

14. (For authors) Post a line of dialogue from one of your WIPs without context.

R:  “You smell a bit like whisky and smokes,” Kakashi said, completely surprising her. 

“Genma’s a bad influence.”

15. Post the last line you wrote without context.

R: 

Sakura got it, really she did. And she even appreciated it to some degree that he was level headed enough about the situation to be able to take a step back and state out loud what they should be doing was actually resting up for the day. But a sudden wave of anger hit her so hard she was actually speechless. Not at him, not ever, but at the situation in general.

(this might not make it to the chapter tho lol)

18. Do you have a fic reading/writing routine?

R: I used to ;-; I was just making myself write a bit everyday to create the habit of it, and kept track of my word count. I managed to write over 71k in January this year and so far have written 114895 words in 2021 but I stopped keeping track of my word count after I started this break from DoF. Mainly bc I haven’t been writing at all (just a lot of outlines for different fics in a different fandom) but also because when things started to get hard and I started to see so many zeroes in my spreadsheet, it just made me feel worse and worse. 

Mainly, the mentality I’m at right now is: Don’t treat your hobbies like a job. Yeah, it was great to be so productive and see those numbers and just feel accomplished in doing something I love. But I essentially don’t get “anything” back from it, and it was kinda completely dominating my life in a way that I’m not sure was all that healthy. Do what feels good and don’t compare yourself to others. I’m currently trying to find my love for writing again, my muse has completely left me lol burnout came for me and just fucking kicked me in the kneecap. BUT my knees have been bad for years and I still kick Life’s ass all the time so I’ll be back on my feet soon enough >:)

19. What’s your favorite character headcanon?

R: Oh yeah! This one I already answered but since I really can’t choose between all of the many headcanons I have, I’ll just give a different answer lmfao. Mokuton!Sakura ! ! ! ! ! I cannot stress enough how fucking badass Sakura is and I personally think it’s bullshit that Mokuton was portrayed as a kekkei genkai essentially even though NO ONE ELSE in the Senju clan got it??? Like. No. Uh-huh. I refuse. Sakura absolutely CAN do it, imo. In every fic I read, I just assume she just hasn’t gotten to that point yet if they don’t say it lmao

20. Do you have a favorite fanfic or author? If so, tag them/post a link and share the love!

R: I actually don’t have a favourite!! I have so many different moods when it comes to fanfiction, it would be impossible to pinpoint just a single fic or a single author. Since you’re from the KKSK fandom I’ll give you the fics I’m currently reading and LOVING! (please keep in mind that I haven’t really been keeping up with the fandom like I probably should have so these are not at all the only good ones out there lol)

running out of reasons by @pandorasbox014

Like the Eventual Descent by @umechaw

Unmasked which is the collection of afterthoughts to Masks by @ambivalens999

Turn Right by Orcana (It’s a KakaSaku x KisaSaku fic and it starts when Sakura is underage so beware of that)

Haruno Sakura: Psychopath and Saviour of the World by Jememe

Here’s to Us Series by @sleepyfoxfanworks is not strictly KakaSaku but it’s great!!!!!

There are, ofc, many others but again I’m not really keeping up with the fandom right now hehe anyone who sees this! Feel free to add on to it :)

[stillgeekingout]

I always end up doing this like halfway through january but this time I got covid so I have an excuse lol. anyway reflections on 2021!

I recognize that 2021 was shitty for a lot of people but I was riding the high of how much better it was for me personally than 2020 so I actually had a decent year. for one thing ingrid was back (our first full year in the same country!), I got new plants to replace the ones that died while they were doing construction on my apt in 2020, I wasn’t alone in the house anymore, etc.

some stuff that happened in 2021:

-read a bunch of books at the beginning of the year bc I hadn’t been reading for a while and then kind of continuously read on and off throughout the year (special mention to one last stop!! and awtwb which I didn’t actually like as much as the first two but the end of the series was a significant thing)

-I did a few more months of yoga with adriene throughout the year, it wasn’t as much as I necessarily wanted to but I’m glad it’s something I keep periodically going back to

-played a lot of animal crossing cause we were late to that party

-baby’s first covid test (jan) and 2nd covid test (dec)

-spent the first few months of the year on a roommate hunt and then finally found our current roommate who is lovely

-s&s lived in *gasp* different apartments! 

-made a weird little experimental short film for orlando fringe which was mostly just me reading books on the roof of my parking garage while waiting for time lapse footage

-watched a whole bunch of tv shows (finished steven universe, owl house s2, gravity falls, hsmtmts, we are lady parts, rutherford falls, wwdits, ted lasso, only murders in the building, kevin can fuck himself, girls5eva, infinity train)

-VACCINES! got 1st & 2nd shots in the spring then booster in the fall which was such a peace of mind thing despite everything and made it so I could actually feel ok seeing people again

-ingrid & I got engaged in may & started wedding planning ahhhh

-wrote a TON of this story that I had been kinda working on for ages (yeah it’s the one I just mentioned having finished)

-fully into aly & aj, if you haven’t listened to their recent stuff you should

-taylor and her rerecordings can be on here I guess lol (so can new bleachers album I guess. tried to see them in concert but it got cancelled for- shocker- covid reasons)

-since I mentioned tv & books, my favorite movies this year were prob raya, luca, encanto, and mitchells vs the machines lol I’m still a sucker for animation

-prob shouldn’t say this bc uh they follow me but I doubt they’ll see this so: my parasocial relationship w a certain person is always probably teetering on the edge of delusion that someday we’re gonna be friends (anyway read reputation lol) (if they do see this I’m sorry)

-speaking of parasocial relationships there are several babies and small children of people either I/ingrid/sarah know who I’m obsessed with and watched grow over the course of the year on social media

-related, there is a baby who lives close enough to me that I should’ve been able to see him a lot and have a relationship with him but covid/work/poor communication made everything complicated and it was a rough time for me about it for a minute there

-ingrid and I went to new orleans and stayed in a very cute airbnb and ate beignets and looked at art and went to parks

-my mom threw a MASSIVE party in july for my grandma’s 80th bday which was probably irresponsible but at the time the numbers were low and we were all vaxxed, anyway I got to see a ton of people I hadn’t in a while 

-my dad had open heart surgery (he’s ok but it was a time)

-one of my sisters was our neighbor for the summer and now my other sister is our neighbor (also ingrid and sarah are finally friends which makes me happyyy)

-speaking of ingrid and sarah the three of us briefly revived my silly rp forum site from when I was like 14-15 lmao

-spent a long miserable time at my shitty horrible job and then FINALLY quit at the end of the summer

-got to be unemployed & just chill for the month of september, took a lot of walks downtown

-my high school 10 year reunion happened lol but I didn’t go because it looked like a hot mess

-tried in vain to get hired as an advisor at several universities/colleges near me… which was frustrating bc especially for international stuff I’m very qualified… stay tuned if that ever happens

-started working at a plant store in october! it’s been a fun time so far, my coworkers are mostly chill and my boss is a little annoying but not actively evil like my previous boss so I count it as a win. also I’m learning so much about plants & fueling my plant addiction

-related, I started a garden on our balcony in december and so far it’s doing ok!

-I mentioned getting engaged but oh my god so many of my friends got engaged

-so much of this year was just wedding planning lol

-I got ingrid to play age of mythology aka the game I was obsessed with in middle school and haven’t shut up about since muahaha

-played dnd with my sisters a couple times which was a fun and crazy time

-my mom finally got the christmas she’s been trying to have since my parents moved onto a boat, aka my parents got an airbnb and my mom got to have family around throughout the holidays

that’s pretty much it, I think! the covid depression is still real and hits from time to time, I don’t make enough money and I’m very uncertain about my ~career future~, but overall I can’t complain too much. I’m looking forward to ‘22 if for no other reason than I’m getting married this year! Also I have made the executive decision that we’re calling it 22 bc 2022 is too much of a mouthful when you say it out loud!

thank u for joining me on this recap of my year, if you did. peace & love lol

[disregardcanon]

2021′s fanfiction roundup y’all

Total Stories Written:14. hoo boy. that number hurts me

Total Words Written: 65,759! i wrote more because i’ve got some half-finished drafts sitting around, but this is what i got posted

Average Words Per Story: 4,697

Shortest Story: who would inhabit this bleak world alone? clocking in at 972

Longest: nostalgic for disaster clocking in at 11,547

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

the answer is always “less”. i started writing fic while i was a lonely high school student with a clear schedule, so i’ll always have that unreasonable expectation of a HIGH production rate hanging over me.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write most?

pairing: i guess jon/martin because it’s literally the only thing i wrote twice this year? lol

genre: what if characters made bad choices and hurt each other? what if?

fandom: the magnus archives! i also wrote for atla, the it movies, hades game, gravity falls, nbc hannibal, spop, tdt, arrowverse, and rwby

What  pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted  in January?

uh, so wrote a physical manifestation of my depression that ended up as BILLDIP, which i never once expected to write. so that would be it.

nostalgic for disaster

Did you take any writing risks this year? oh yeah, most definitely. i wrote a lot darker material this year, and i got VERY descriptive. at least two of my fics were “character a watches on while character b meets a terrible fate” so.

Do you have any fanfic or general writing goals for the new year?

lol, last year’s response was “i would  frankly just like the time and energy TO write. this year has been the  most stressful and depressing time of my life and that’s reflected in my  writing output. i would like to see more output because i have more  energy and drive to do the things that make me happy again” which is. so sad. because THIS year was now the most stressful and depressing time of my life. who knew? 

my fic writing goal for next year is just to enjoy it, i suppose. also maybe write more in melting pot and a sequel to blinding an eye

From the past year of writing, what was your…

Best story of this year: nostalgic for disaster. apparently, a mix of intense visual imagery, strong action, and emotions so potent that this thing literally hurt me to write makes for a quality story. who knew?

Personal favorite: this one’s a bit difficult to nail down, but i think i’ll go with Adults Aren’t Completely Useless. if nostalgic for disaster helped me realized Oh Yeah I’m Really Fucking Depressed and DO Need To Quit This Job, then this fic was a eulogy for my teaching career. i really did write the closest thing i’ve ever managed to a self insert and then let her try, ineffectively, to help a post-mr. spider child jon. that was how i mourned my teaching career, y’all

Most  under-appreciated: surviving is a virtue. this fic is some of my best work, and it’s been out for 9 months and been met by... 27 kudos. i haven’t written a ton of rwby fic yet, but i really do think that this  is a good one. it’s a strong exploration of raven as a character, her relationship with summer, and the possibility that she knew that summer got grimmified.

Most fun to write: May Answering Machine Breakups Be Forgot (And Never Brought to Mind) because writing a fic that’s just a big party of friends having fun was, unsurprisingly, a delight

Story with the single sexiest moment: consubstantial. this was basically the only fic i wrote this year that remembered that sex was a thing.

Most challenging to write: In Which “Adoption” Means Kidnapping! this fic involved a lot of intense violence, prejudice/fictional racism, cultural world-building, child trauma, and imperialism. it was very difficult to write and continues to be (i’m still working in this verse) but i am so pleased that i worked through it. there’s just so much potential here. it’s dear to my heart (sokka screaming in the distance)

Biggest disappointment: frankly, nothing i wrote this year can be a  disappointment because i put words on a page. however, if i’m going to call any of them “least favorite” it would be A Reverse Flash Friendly Doomworld. i basically just wanted that out of my drafts since it was there for... 4 years now? lol

Favorite character to write: bill cipher! i’ve never written bill before in any of my prior gravity falls fics, and bill is an absolute delight. he’s hilarious and terrifying, and you can be soooo creative with the way that he moves and speaks. i would write him again in a heartbeat

Favorite opening lines:

Captain Cheng is a simple man. He likes good Caldera whisky. He likes delicate Earth Kingdom women who wear traditional makeup and giggle as they tilt their little fans. He likes his annual trips to Ember Island during his leave from the navy. He likes being in charge of a ship, watching the crewmembers work like cogs in a well-oiled machine that he’s the master of.

He does not like the South Pole one bit.

In Which “Adoption” Means Kidnapping

Caroline Keen has never been quick to judge. Whenever she sees something strange, she makes an excuse and turns the other way. As a child, it was always her sister who went digging into everything to find out the answers. Amelia wanted to know everything; Caroline just wanted to stay in her own little corner and play with her dolls in peace.

Adults Aren’t Completely Useless

Favorite closing lines:

Surviving is a virtue, after all. At least it is when you survive in a form you recognize.

Raven’s still not sure that she’s done that, but close enough. Better a bandit queen than a lapdog.

surviving is a virtue

He feels the power emanating off of him- Bill’s miasma pushing out into the air. Maybe that’s what repelled everyone, all these years. The mix of enchantment and terror being pulsated into the air like a fog. It should have kept Dipper away too, he thinks. But that doesn’t mean that it will. Their family isn’t always known for their strong decision making skills.

Dipper’s breath catches in his throat. He coughs, trying to steady his voice. He’s already decided on this. He just needs to say the words. Just needs to shake the damn hand and say the words. So he does. The concrete slides off Bill’s newly made skin like a lava slide down a volcano. His little black hand glows bright blue with flame. His lips curl into a disgusting, corrupted smile.

Dipper’s voice does not hesitate as he says, “I’m ready to make a deal.”

nostalgic for disaster

Jon turns away from the Lecter-Graham domain. He has his own post apocalyptic quest to return to. A world to save, perhaps. At least a thousand domains still left to explore.

Maybe this counts as his honeymoon too. He’ll have to ask Martin.

honeymoon in the wreckage

Other favorite lines:

When she was little, she used to sit down on the ground by her mother's feet, working on her own canvas while she watched her mother. She tried to paint her mother’s paintings, the way that children always try to copy. When her mother got mad about Hennessy copying her work stroke for stroke, Hennessy had asked, "But I want to be like you?" Children were supposed to want to copy their parents, she'd thought.

a copy, a forgery, a masterpiece

“I suppose I should thank you,” Zagreus says, “this abundance of free time helped me to decide what I’m going to do.” Escape has been in the back of his brain for years, but he never thought to pursue it. Not until his father cemented the fact that he didn’t view him as a proper heir.

If At First You Don’t Succeed

“Magic that doesn’t want me to remember you?” Mike asks cautiously. Bill takes a moment to compose his thoughts.

“Is the magic homophobic or something?” Mike asks. That startles a laugh from Bill’s lips.

“No, it’s just. It doesn’t want you to remember Derry .”

pages turn and stick to each other

Secrets were an act of love, and his parents kept no secrets from him.

Declan knew where that left him.

On the outs: the child of neither of them. Dauntless Declan kept around only to keep the others safe.

Secrets As A Sign of Love

"You both killed him," Elias says, murder in his eyes, "Habeus Corpus isn’t necessary when the murderer is right by the corpse, fingerprints all over the weapon.” He gestures to Jon’s body still splayed out in the chair, blood still dripping into the floorboards.

blinding an eye

“It’s not my fault that Basira’s so charming it temporarily blinded me to the evils of policing,” he says. Georgie rolls her eyes.

 “She really is,” Melanie says. Apparently, attraction to Basira is the second thing that they can agree on.

 Melanie looks right at Jon, and stage whispers, “When we first started dating, I actually watched a few police shows.” Jon gasps like an elderly woman in an American drama.

 “And liked them.”

 Georgie gently slaps her wrist. “Mel!”

May Answering Machine Breakups Be Forgot (And Never Brought To Mind)

[theresthesnitch]

20 Questions: Writer's Edition

I waited far too long to do this because I was focusing on writing, but I'm so excited to dive in. Thanks for the tags, @jilyesplz, @oyprongs, @missgryffin, @mppmaraudergirl, and @cesays. It made me smile each tag I got, and I loved reading all of your responses!

Answers below the cut to avoid a LONG response.

How many works do you have on AO3?

28

What’s your total AO3 word count?

120,326

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Only HP.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Three Strikes til you're out Jily, Rated: E

Lily Evans knows nothing about baseball. Or baseball players. She knows even less about James Potter. However, when some bad press risks James's endorsement deals, Lily finds herself thrown into a fake relationship with him. Can they convince the world they are together and save James from the tabloids? Can Lily keep her heart as she learns about James? Or will they both strike out?

2. Bathed in the Moonlight Wolfstar, Rated: E

In the light of the moon, they came together and became something new. (PWP)

3. Shirts v. Skins Jily, Rated M

A pick up quidditch match, a contest, and a very thirsty Lily Evans. (Shirtless JP May)

4. All the Little Pieces Hinny, Rated: Gen

This is an entry in @clarensjoy's Hinny Ficfest 2021. It's a series of vignettes over the course of Harry and Ginny's lives. Prompt 60: "I heard that." "You were supposed to."

Five is technically my bingo entries for the Harry and Ginuary Bingo, which is titled There was a contest called B-I-N-G-O, but that feels like cheating. So my 5th fic is:

5. Courage is a little like love Jily Rated: T

A fluffy Jily first kiss one-shot, with some bonus Remus/Lily friendship to go with it.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Some times it takes me a few days to get back to them, but I love comments and seeing what people think. I also love talking about my writing!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ha! I had to think for a minute, but there's really no question. To Go On Without Him is a Lily Lives AU one-shot-that-could-get-more-chapters. It's the least happy ending fic I have.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Okay, I started responding that most everything I write has a happy ending, but then I looked through my fic list and, uh... that's not even almost true. I have way more angst than I realized. Three Strikes is my only multi-chap, but it will have a happy ending. As far as happy one-shots, I think I'd either go with Just a Little Kiss, which is a Jily first kiss/get together one-shot for @efkgirldetective's Summer of Jily prompt 5, or Let's have a baby, where James and Lily choose to have a baby.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Okay, first, I think there's a difference between a crossover - i.e. Tony Stark falls in love with Dr. Who - and an adaption - where the characters from the fandom follow a plot like another story. I won't say never, but I can't see myself doing a crossover. An adaption, however...

No, you can't make me write the Cars AU via the Marauders. I won't. I definitely haven't started it.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven't, thankfully! The fandom has been good to me so far.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. lol. I've written both M/M and F/M, but I wouldn't rule out others in the future. Depends on where the inspiration strikes.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, and as amazing as that would be, I can't imagine anyone wanting to.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I would consider it, but I'm worried I don't have the time to dedicate to it.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh no. Don't make me pick.

It definitely changes periodically, depending on what I'm in the mood for. I started reading only Hinny, then moved on to Jily, then Wolfstar. I've been writing and reading a lot of Jily lately, but I've also been reading a lot of Wolfstar. So all of them, periodically.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Ugh, I refuse to doom any of them like this.

What are your writing strengths?

I think my best bits are the shocking one lines - whether dialogue or no. I love building up tension to that one line that just makes your jaw drop.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle so much with the flowery descriptive language. I sometimes end up writing dialogue and going back later to add the little bits that make it feel real.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

As a reader, I love it, but only with convenient translations so that I don't get lost in the story. If I have to stop reading to translate and figure out what's going on, then it's a bit of a pain.

I know a tiny bit of French and a tiny bit of Spanish, and I've considered writing some lines in other languages, but it would definitely be a line or two and not a conversation. And honestly, it would probably be purely for the purpose of turning on the other person who can't translate it in the fic.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, specifically Hinny.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Three Strikes, for sure. I never really thought I'd enjoy writing a multichapter because I was worried that the pressure of writing it and delivering the next chapter in a reasonable time frame would be too much. I actually have a few that are as written or more as Three Strikes was when I started posting, but I thought I wanted to finish it before posting. I thought that, given my time issues, having it completed or mostly completed would make it easier to finish.

But posting Three Strikes while I was still writing made the fic develop into something I never expected. There are things in there that would never have existed without input, and I love where it's ended up.

Tagging:

I'm skipping tags because I think just about everyone has done this already, but if you haven't, please do! And tag me! I want to know more about you.

[f33itan]

🎮👾Aʀᴄᴀᴅɪɴɢ Iɴᴛʀᴏᴠᴇʀᴛs👾🎮 (From my Wattpad)

FYI: F/N in this oneshot means "Friend's Name". I don't wanna choose the name because 1. that's restricting names of whoever you want, and 2. Im to lazy to come up with names every time. LOL- (Also, sorry if I kind of switch from 1st person, 2nd person and 3rd person randomly.)

Feitan POV:

"Hey Feitan! Go change, we're gonna go find an arcade!" Phinks yelled from the doorway.

"Shut up, you're, too, loud."

"Whatever, just change, we're leaving soon!!" Tch, that dude so annoying. Why cant I just read in peace? Finally found a good book, yet he just had to ruin it. Damn it. No point in fighting, him and Shal gonna drag me to arcade whether I change or not. 

A/N: Imagine him in something like that hehehe, or whatever outfit you want him to wear if you don't like that one. :)

-------------

Your POV:

"We're finally getting a break, but if you keep taking your sweet time, were gonna be back in class before you can say, Y/N's a slowpoke!" F/N yelled in your face.

"Maybe if you get out of my face, I would go faster!" Even though you guys nagged each other 24/7, you guys were still the closest friends. You had known F/N since 4th grade, when you guys were partners for an animal project. At the time, you both loved lizards, so you both were excited to work with one another. Next thing you know, its college, and you guys both get into your dream school. (Insert college name) had been your goal for years, but its quite a lot of work. This was your first week long break, and you weren't trying to waste it on getting ready to go to an arcade. After you were finished with everything, you and F/N got into their car and drove to the arcade. They were blasting (Insert song name) and singing along, so you decided to record them.

"This will be funny to look back at later!"

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

After about 20 minutes, F/N parked and you both exited the vehicle. They stretched as if they've been in the car for hours, and you thought they were kind of exaggerating.

"Y/N, what if we find you a boyfri-"

"NONONONO I LIKE BEING ALONE NONO BOYFRIENDS NOO!"

"You and your social anxiety need to get out more!" You gave them a little "hmph" before heading inside. You guys played a couple dancing games, 2 player games, a 4D scary game, and some simple joystick games. After a while, you both decided to order some food at a bar, and sat down for a little break.

"What would you two like to drink today?"

(You) "Can I get a -insert drink- and a -insert food/snack- please?"

(F/N) "I'll have an orange juice with a cheeseburger!"

"I'll have your meals out shortly."

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Feitan POV:

"Hey, look over there! Those people look nice! Maybe we should go talk to them!" Shalnark said. Man, socializing? No thanks. Just wanna get back to that damn book. Well, guess arcade has been kind of fun. I guess...

"FEITAN!!! EARTH TO FEI FEI!!!"

"Phinks, don't call me that."

"Whatever, come on let's go!" Why the heck they dragging me? Wait, why we heading to the people over there-

(You) "Uh, hello?"

"Hey! I'm Shalnark, and these are my friends Phinks and Feitan. We were wondering if you guys wanted to go play some arcade games with us!" Stupid Shalnark, being all friendly. Extrovert girl took fat bite out her burger and gave us a muffled "Sure, once were done eating."

Ew, messy. Guess their friends kind of cute though.. wait, WHAT?

-Small timeskip- also back to your POV :

After eating, you, F/N and the trio went off towards the multiplayer things, and you all decided to find some 4 player games. Each time somebody had to sit out, it would be one of the guys. Feitan always volunteered, but Shalnark made them all decide by flipping a coin. You and everybody else were starting to warm up to each other, when Phinks and F/N had an idea. While a 3 player game started, they both snuck off into a corner and devised a plan on how to get you and feitan to interact. Turns out both of you were quite introverted, and they both wanted you two to put yourselves out there and find a partner. After deciding on what to do, they went back to Shal, Fei, and you. You thought they were acting a bit suspicious, but you just shrugged it off.

"Hey Shal, F/N, lets go do something!" Before Feitan could join, reject, or even realize what was going on, Phinks was already dragging F/N and Shalnark in some random direction. Y/N and Feitan just stood there in silence.

"So uh, whhaaattss your favorite... game here?" Feitan just stood silent, staring at you. But, for some odd reason, the silence was comforting, and your thoughts eventually drifted off into the clouds... so much so that you didn't even notice him grab your hand and start pulling you throughout the arcade. Your body just continued moving though, and you didn't bother to question him. After about a minute of walking, you ended up in front of a little fishing game. (Imagine that game where there's that spinning knob thingy and you have to reel in fish with it)

"Wow, wouldn't expect the emo boy to like little kid games like this!" You laughed and gave him a playful shove, which he returned with a silly eye roll.

"Shut it shortie."

"WHAT? YOUR THE SHORT-" You froze. He moved swiftly behind you, lightly pressing his body against yours. He grabbed your hands and put them on the game joysticks.

"Stop, wasting time. Let's, just play, the game." Both of you were blushing, and you continued playing games and making silly jokes for a good hour or so. Little did you know, that Phinks, Shalnark, and F/N got so many videos and pictures of you two...

EXTRA: PHANTOM TROUPE GROUP CHAT ; ABOUT 1 WEEK SINCE ARCADE

Phinks: Hey guys, you won't believe what I have to show you.

Shalnark: Ahem, WE, and I have some too...

Shizuku: What? What's going on?

Pakunoda: Hm?

Hisoka: Oh, do tell~

Phinks: Feitan, you're here right?

                                                                                                        I don't trust you guys..

Phinks: You shouldn't

Machi: Are you guys going to show us or not? You got me curious.

Chrollo: Well, no point in making us wait. Please inform us with your "tea"                                               or whatever it is people say now a days.

Shalnark: Alright, prepare to get your minds blown!

~Phinks and Shalnark send all of the best photos and videos they got, and after a couple minutes of the troupe going through every single one, they started talking again~

Pakunoda: Wow, I didn't expect you to be the caring type Feitan!

Shizuku: I think they're cute together! (ᗒ◡ᗕ) ♡︎

Hisoka: Aw, shes so pretty, might just have to make her mine~

                                      Chrollo kicked Hisoka from the chat

Chrollo: I'm so happy, Fei has finally found a girl 😊

Phinks/Shalnark: When's the wedding?

                                                                                                      I'm giving you to count of 3.  

                                                  I'm gonna torture and kill both of you. Skin you alive.    

Shalnark: I have her number!                        

                                                                                                                                               No-                                                                                                                                                          

Word count (including author notes, etc:) 1244

Wrote January 20, 2021