#I'll hope off it now sorry

[messitydepressity]

Strange request but would you ever do Eremophobia from Joel’s POV. Like imagine how feral Joel becomes when they told him they lost his kid?? After his kid warned the others. And how Joel mentioned he found Ellie. Like angst to the highest degree.

I already have it outlined 😭 (I love torturing him)

The plan, for now considering the trajectory of the fic is in the hands of the fates once I start writing, is to pick up mid-search in Joels POV.

AKA in the middle of his mental break/feral spiral

I want to cover the trauma of his child missing, then finding her coated in just as much blood as Sarah had once been (and gasping in pain? fuck that man up) and I intend to explore the healing portion of Ellie's injuries as well as the shit that goes wrong from them.

Basically, I'd like Joel to have a really shit-tacular time, but I'll give them their soft (definitely not fighting) moments too.

It would be nice if I could get crackin' on that this week and post it next Sunday with episode two's release, but I have strep throat rn, so no promises on that.

The current working title is 'Thanatophobia' - the intense fear/dread of losing a loved one. (and extends to death in general)

I guess my very long answer is yes 🖤

[marshmallowgoop]

My @heishinvalentineexchange2025 gift for the immensely kind and patient @caliowl333, who graciously allowed me to participate with a video instead of fic or art! (And wrote me a 20,000+-word piece in exchange?! Oh my goodness!)

Song is the SadBois & NIO Remix of "Other Side" by ILLENIUM, featuring Vera Blue, which you can listen to in full here. Ramblings under the cut!

When I first began seriously video editing, I didn't think much about composition or how well clips flowed together—lyric sync was arguably my main goal, and anime pieces were thrown onto the timeline pretty much purely based on that.

Now, I put much more care into the very visual elements—the effects, the match cuts, the dazzle. But in the process, I fear that I'm losing what audiences found engaging about my early videos: the actual ideas.

So, for this AMV, I aimed to put the most effort into a strong concept. The titular "other side" is a world without the Black Organization, where Shinichi can freely be himself. Heiji is waiting for that world, where he no longer has to lie and pat Conan's head and pretend that they're not peers, and Shinichi is dreaming of that world because he's always dreamed of working with somebody just like him. The thought of meeting Heiji someday, when he first learns of his existence (Episode 490), fills Shinichi with excitement. He does a lot on his own, but he also loves working on a team—and doing so, being with people, sharing his enthusiasm with others—is what he wants more than anything.

(Heck, there's even a piece of official art called "Conan's Dream Vacation" where he dreams of playing beach volleyball with Heiji and Ran and Kazuha—as himself.)

Sure, you could argue that Shinichi simply enjoys working with Heiji as Conan because Heiji treats him as he truly is. But the times he spends as Shinichi with Heiji point to the fact that no, he just really likes deducting with Heiji. Eagerness, big smiles—in "The Scarlet School Trip" (Episodes 927-928), involving Heiji in the case of the day takes precedence over solving it himself, as he immediately shares what he knows and even jostles Heiji awake when he learns more, before doing anything else, because there's no way he's going to solve it alone. He doesn't want to.

But as things are, being Shinichi is pain. He takes an antidote, but it's poison. Being Conan is what's become "normal" and "comfortable," but Conan can't be what Shinichi is to Heiji. Conan isn't strong enough to catch Heiji when he's falling. Conan can't save him from bullets. Conan can't even talk to him naturally without hiding and secrets. His dreams have become nightmares.

And it can't be easy for Heiji, either. To see someone you care about suffering. To know that Shinichi is in a dangerous situation—and involving himself in it applies that same danger to himself. It'd make sense for Heiji to walk away and wash his hands of it... but Shinichi really wants him to stay. Despite everything, he wants Heiji to stay. For that someday when they can be true partners "on the other side."

I tried to say other things in here, too. Shinichi cementing himself as a precious person to Heiji by countering his insecurities with a one truth prevails and this isn't a competition and you don't have to prove yourself to me. Heiji finding Shinichi even after becoming Conan because he'll always find Shinichi, no matter what, because he's dreaming of being "on the other side," too (even if he didn't know it initially). Shinichi pushing Heiji away with coldness because maybe it's selfish to want him to stay, maybe it's cruelty to involve him, but he can't deny that he cares, that he wants Heiji with him, that he doesn't want to do this on his own.

And while I maybe still went a little ham on the effects, I do hope my ideas are the strongest of all! "No effects" versus effects comparison can be found here!

Thank you again for all your hard work organizing this event, Cali!!

[quatregats]

Galicia I love you Galicia <333

[hunysckle]

just devoured this sammich. leftover baby back rib meat, sautéed jalapenos, saurkraut, red onion, and cilantro with mayo and spicy bbq sauce on a ciabatta roll. twas positively scrumptious !!!

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

[sweetevoltrap]

Sylus reclaiming Little Bomb as a teasing nickname...

[buttercup-art]

hey

[fennthetalkingdog]

You know, when I was first researching neurodivergence (and autism and ADHD in particular) and wondering if I was, in fact, neurodivergent, I brought my conclusions to my mom and she said:

"I mean, you're gifted, right? So you already are neurodivergent???"

So here's to her (kinda) and her words. Giftedness is a neurodivergence, in my opinion. From what I've seen, a lot of the traits overlap with common autistic and/or ADHD traits too, especially regarding overexcitabilities, and a lot of researchers talking about the topic describe giftedness with the same kind of "your brain is just made differently" and "you're just wired differently" language as they use for other neurodivergent conditions. But I also say this because I've seen some gifted people who, while struggling with some "autistic/ADHD traits," don't have all the traits necessary for an autism or ADHD diagnosis. Giftedness is a label for them that encompasses the struggles they have without saying that they don't struggle enough or forcing them to try to fit into a mold that isn't them. And I get that; when I was first questioning, I didn't think I had enough autistic traits to count for a diagnosis either, so I took comfort in a "gifted" label. (Not to say that all gifted people are just autistic people and/or people with ADHD that don't realize, or that all gifted people are just people who don't have enough traits for a diagnosis! That was just the case for me and the folks I've been around, but I've also heard the case of it not being that.)

But if I am gifted, then I also have autism. A lot of my struggles are, honestly, just better described by autism than just by a byproduct of giftedness. My struggles with people and with "being too much," my sensory differences (and yes, sometimes issues), my stimming, and some of my executive dysfunction all sound like autistic traits to me more than a mix of psychomotor and sensual overexcitabilities and a whole bunch of coincidental byproducts of my being gifted and hanging out with nongifted peers. Don't get me wrong; based on my family history, background, and traits, I honestly probably am gifted lol. But it's not just that.

So this is me saying that if the people around you are saying that you're just gifted, you're free to look for other, perhaps better explanations for your feelings and experiences. But if you are just gifted, you're still free to call yourself neurodivergent! My gifted traits lead to me feeling just as ostracized sometimes as my autistic ones, so who am I to police that label?

[gumdropgamespot]

I won't be able to participate in simblreen tonight, unfortunately. 😭

[doubleedgemode]

The Dandy with his Hand on his chest

I wanted to do a big piece before the month ended and I had been thinking on drawing a study of "The Nobleman with his Hand on his Chest" by El Greco with Slayer for a good while, because I adore that painting and believe it fits him, since it has a mysterious yet noble aura to me. Very dandy!

I love Slayer's Rev2 Color 4, so I got really happy when it returned as Color 10 in Strive, now with a very stylish nail polish, too.

[greyedian]

lmao i'm always so bad at actually sticking with my tumblr breaks, but being on here less and not really engaging with fandom already helps a ton tbh. but yeah idk in case anyone's wondering: yeah i'm still here and yeah i'm still having a bit of a creative existential crisis what else is new 👍

[apocalypticdemon]

hmm. spiraling. fun.

[draconicace]

i can't say this to my mom because she gives me rides and i can't afford to piss her off. but considering my brother (allegedly) stole from her and she loves stealing from me, it must be fucking hereditary

also don't read the tags if you're a worrier. it sounds bad and it is bad and life is bad for me right now. but causing people to worry over me isn't going to help

[willowenigma]

you know, on the whole I've been really enjoying my New Tunes project where I exclusively listen to artists I've never heard before. I've found a lot of really awesome musicians that I never would have found otherwise and it's actually been a lot of fun broadening my horizons so much over the last 8ish months

but.

that being said.

I am Very Afraid that I've learned something terrible about myself and my musical tastes today. I am praying I am wrong, I will know in about an hour when I'm done with the whole album but. y'all. it is NOT looking good for me right now.

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

AND THATS A WRAP !

Hello, hello! It's me, the local dumbass that went "lol lets run this silly event" since January. I'd like to say thank you so much for participating!

I never thought that so many would look @ my blog event and go ":D lets go get matched w/ yans!" LIKE?? HELP WE GOT A LOT OF SUBMISSIONS SINCE DAY 1, IT MADE ME GO "oh shit" BAHAHAHAHA

But fr, I want to say thank you so much. To those who came in to join the matchup, to those who participated as anons to the story that was unfolding, and to those that were theorizing and even lurking:

Thank you so much for giving me a chance. You guys have no idea how much it means to me to celebrate this milestone with all of you.

I would love to mention everyone of y'all that joined to leave my special thanks, but this post will be lengthy if I did that and I... Am NOT about to make it too sappy LMAOOOO

Now! On the update + future plans:

The rest of the fics will be posted but slowly and will be saved as special dlc fics of One Last Call. This covers additional lore of the worldbuilding behind OLC, but there are some that won't be written (Freminet and Aether are unfortunately those I can't write as yanderes) to lessen the load. Also, some will be shorter/snippet wise, but we shall see.

I will be making a "story explained" post for OLC and the characters behind it. This goes into the possible "what ifs", the original draft of the story (storyboard lol), what each character would've been in my plans, and everything in between! (Also, there may or may not be drawn sketches for each of them. Maybe kek).

The next event will be happening on March. I won't elaborate what it'll be, but it will be indulgent and maybe a little funny (for me). It'll also last for a week at most so I don't end up burning myself out LMAOO

Finally, I will be hosting small event for Cupid, Eros, and Boss. They won't be big, but they will have their spots when I planned out what'll happen to them. (Hint: you guys are going to see them often on your feed if you know where to look ;>)

For now though, I will be finishing up the drabbles and pray I get them queued to finally archive this event. Also, I will be responding to asks + cleaning up my inbox again when I'm done :)

Once again, thank you everyone. I genuinely thought that running One Last Call will not work out back then (I told a few friends I was scared that it won't take off as it did), but I pushed through it anyway since I thought it'd be fun anyway. And to see everyone enjoy it is the best feeling I've had since opening this blog.

I hope all of you enjoy chilling as I try to write + post the drabbles for OLC before concluding its tale... And hopefully writer's block does not slam its gavel on my ass BAHAHAHAHAHA

[itstimeforstarwars]

"You're in public, you should expect to be filmed/photographed if you look weird" well I expect to get catcalled and threatened too but that doesn't mean you're not still a creep for participating in that sort of behavior.