#I'm so happy im spending his birthday with a friend and I'm here just explaining it all to him and aaaa

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - July 6

sparkle anon, only one bed anon (new), usaid anon, frog stuffie guy anon, @musicoftheheart

sparkle anon

hiii cas, it's sparkle anon

first of all, thank you for the advice, me and my friend are better rn. i've met up with her and talked a lot and she complimented my covers (im semi insecure abt my singing but she made me a lot more confident)

i got the results from that exam and the average is 90 percent and im very disappointed tbh. a few months ago i had this mock exam and i got around 90 percent too. and since then, i studied a lot and improved so much, plus the exam was easier than the mock. anyway, everyone i know got so much higher grades. and it just feels very unfair. ive stressed this whole year, worked more than it was healthy for me to get a grade that isn't gonna get me into a good school. i just feel like a failure so much. i hate myself and i feel like all the stress and work wasnt worth anything.

sending love<3

Hi <3 I'm glad things are better with your friend right now!

I'm sorry about your grade </3 I think the thing is, when you're actually taking an exam, it's natural to do a bit worse than what you do in a practice, because of the stress of the situation. It's SCARY, and that makes you freeze up a bit, which makes sense, and it happens to a lot of people!

But I understand how disappoint that can be, and how you probably feel like you worked hard for nothing. I promise you DIDN'T, but I get that it feels that way.

I know it's almost impossible, but try not to compare yourself to other people. Other people have different circumstances and struggles tha you do, you know? Focus on you, and be proud of how hard you worked.

If you really needed a certain score, are you able to retake the test? If not, focus on what you can do about it now. I know this feels overwhelming, but I'm cheering you on and I know you'll make the most of it <3

Sending love!

___

only one bed anon

Cas I have to share a bed with a girl i have a crush on. I hate this

Hi!

Okay so this might be coming a little too late because I know it's been a few days, but if you ACTUALLY hate it, please remember that it's okay to set boundaries. Is there a couch you can sleep on? Another bed? Even the floor? Your comfort (mental and physical) is most important, here.

If you do want to stay in the same bed, remember that you're probably thinking about this way more than she is. Whatever happens, just cuddle with a pillow and remember that she's probably gonna do something embarrassing in her sleep, too. It'll be a fun way to spend time together and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do <3

___

usaid anon

Hey cas! Its usaid anon .

Good news, i think we're good until the summer! Idk how else to explain it other than we made it through another round. Theres a new thing every once in a while that means she coukd get fired and every one we get through is good. First it was his election, then the usaid disaster, the 10 things a week thing and then 15% of each dept. Is about when i stopped caring WHY and just caring if my mom got the email. And this time she didnt! This round is over and i think we're good for a month or two. As she says, the later we get into the school year the better. The usaid people got to stay until the end of the school year bc it was already in 2nd semester. If we get nothing i hope we get that you know?

Hi!

Oh good, that's awesome! I'm glad she keeps making it past each round! I mean I don't know anything about your mom's job but maybe that means she's important and they don't want to get rid of her? Either way, I'm glad you can breathe for a few months <3 I'm sorry you have to deal with this at all though </3

Keep me updated if you think of it!

___

frog stuffie guy anon

Going to see family for my birthday next week, I'm really excited :)

-frog stuffie guy

Hey that sounds like fun! I hope you have a good time, and happy early birthday! <3

___

@musicoftheheart

hey cas, guess what? i am absolutely KILLING IT at work at the minute. i went back to a job i was working during my gap year for the summer while university is on summer break and i came back at literally the worst time for the company (there had been a huge cyber attack not even a week before i started back) and everything was messed up BUT i powered through and it all got sorted

and now we're understaffed and im being given heavier jobs (literally - i stock shelves, and instead of doing something like pet food or cleaning stuff im now doing massive juice bottles (which usually come in 8 packs of 2L bottles; VERY HEAVY) since thats more of a priority in the shop) but lil old me is ROCKIN IT and managing it like a little powerhouse

genuinely feel like i could take on the world at the minute because as awful as life is and as much as it keeps throwing at me, I AM KILLING IT!!

just thought id share this bit of joy! i always love reading when people send you happy life updates too so i figured id send my own! (plus itll be a little reminder to myself when you respond that YES i CAN handle it all 💪)

Hi!! Omg I'm so happy for you, and proud of you for taking on all of these things! And you're absolutely right- this is a great reminder for the next time things get rough that you CAN do it!

Keep rocking it, I believe in you!

[mamajuniee]

hi… i feel sad. my friend i think have been cutting me off.. for backstory around august i stop hanging out with them cus i was moving and someone in my family was really really sick..at the same time i had no job so i was saving my money on gas to use to go to the hospital and moving things to the new place. fast forward now i tell them i’m free ow but i always see post of them hanging out but it’s usually only a couple. yesterday all of them hung out for one of their birthdays and i never got an invite. they never even replied to me saying happy birthday or anything. i’m really upset because thwy cut me off for putting my family/me first since i don’t live super close to them and i explained why i couldn’t each time but idk ans i just feel bad…

hi sweetheart! im so sorry to hear about this :( it wasn't your fault at all and im honestly very proud of you for focusing in your family's needs despite what you might have lost in your friendship. i understand that it's a hard time for you right now and its okay to be sad about it, but it's not your fault. you were doing the very best for your family and that's such a wonderful trait to have. that friend of yours did not value you enough to understand that you have your own needs outside of your friendship together. spending less time with them obviously never meant that you cared about them any less, it was just because you had more urgent needs.

them starting to cut you off is probably because they felt like you two had fallen apart but i'm sure they're doing most of those things to make you jealous or upset that you weren't included, and im so so sorry. that feeling is awful but please know that you deserve much better than this! you don't deserve to be cut off just because you were prioritizing your family. you're incredible and your family is so lucky to have you. i hope you find better friends who truly understand you and remember that genuine people will always understand you! take care and i hope u feel better <3 :( im here if u need me sweetheart

[j-e-f-3-0]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEWART!!!!!!!

The amount of talent and musicianship you have are simple as unmeasurable. I had never seen someone so bright and energetic, and your unique way of being and thinking are something I admire and respect like in very few people. Thank you for having had the crazy idea of having a band that could never sell a gig at the time it was formed, and, please, keep surprising me just like you do💜💜💜

P.D. Congrats for your Grammy!!!!

[vanishingcherry]

Hello !! I hope you're having a good day!

Can I please request a Daniel Ricciardo X Reader Instagram thing, but can it be platonic??

Like just imagine being childhood besties with him, and now you work with him as his Assisstant or something, getting to travel all over the world together!! And the chaos that the friendship would have too :D

Also the face claim can be the one requested from the Lando thing? I don't remember her @, but the face claim was so so pretty 💕💕

Tysm :)))

here you go! its set in 2022, and there is slight romantic lando x reader. hope thats okay with you!

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, landonorris and 94,857 others.

daniel3.jpg Smileys

view all 1,295 comments

f1fan isnt that the girl that lando is dating?

↳ dannyfan yess! shes childhood best friends with daniel, and is his assistant, thats how her and lando met

↳ f1fan ohh okk thanks!

landonorris whose the girl in the fourth picture?

↳ yourusername idk shes kinda hot

↳ danielricciardo @.landonorris stay away from my bestie

mclaren 🧡

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, yourbff and 39,857 others

yourusername te amo sao paulo

view all 987 comments

prettyyn SAO PAULO IS LUCKY TO HAVE Y/N

danielricciardo you're supposed to be assisting me. not posting on instagram

↳ yourusername you're supposed to be driving. not commenting on my instagram

yourfan oh to be y/n

danielismylove its the way she was best friends with daniel and now this is her life. why wasn't i best friends with a f1 driver

landonorris pretty girl

↳ liked by yourusername

liked by yourusername, mclaren and 143,587 others

danielricciardo when @.yourusername gets lost in london and you have to spend 3 hours searching for her

comments on this post are limited

yourusername i didnt get lost. i was just exploring

↳ danielricciardo why did i get multiple calls from you explaining that your gps wasnt working and that i had to come find you

↳ yourusername i wanted you to join me and be the boots to my dora

yourbff you promised you wouldnt lose her. next time this happens im taking her back

↳ danielricciardo HOW IS THIS MY FAULT

↳ yourusername @.yourbff is right. this is all your fault how could you let me go exploring on my own

↳ landonorris YOU LET HER GET LOST?

↳ danielricciardo i give up

liked by f1, mclaren, lando norris and 823,475 others

yourusername a series of events that occurred the day daniel found out that lando and i were dating. he claims it was an accident.

view all 4,756 comments

danielricciardo i don't like what youre insinuating

↳ yourusername its not my fault im right

↳ danielricciardo YOU CANT BE MY ASSISTANT AND HIS GIRLFRIEND AT THE SAME TIME

↳ yourusername watch me

ynfan I DIDNT REALISE THAT THATS WHEN DANIEL FOUND OUT THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

ilovedaniel im obsessed

landonorris my nose hurt so much that day mate

↳ danielricciardo you deserved it

landofan1 OH MY GOD LANDO'S FACE LMAO

liked by danielricciardo, f1, mclaren and 208,159 others

yourusername ive known you for as long as i can remember, and you've always been the best friend anyone could ask for. from the moment you let me try out your go kart till the moment you won your first grand prix, its been an honour to support you. the opportunity to travel the world with your best friend doesn't come along everyday, and ive never been more grateful.

i'm not very good at being sentimental, but for what its worth, you have all the love in my heart. happy birthday danny.

on a more serious note, he wet the bed till he was 10, pass it on.

comments on this post are limited

danielricciardo thank you ❤️

danielricciardo you were gonna make me cry until i saw that that last line. for everyone reading this, y/n had (has) the biggest crush on seb.

↳ yourusername dammit. and thats a lie, do not believe him.

↳ landonorris babe... seb? really?

[radiorenjun]

I Don't Need It. i

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn't stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Masterlist here!

• Chapters: i, ii

"Hey Jaemin?" you said, not looking up from your bucket filled with sand. "Yeah?" your friend replied, sitting down infront of you, sand moving everywhere from the impact. You flipped the bucket over, tapping it with your palms and the end of the plastic shovel.

"Do you think my soulmate is just gonna be like Daddy?" you asked, creating sand walls with your palm as Jaemin set up mini towers beside the bucket with his little cup. "Soulmate? Gross," his face scrunched up in disgust, sticking his tongue out which caused you to giggle.

"You're gonna have one, too, dummy!" your hands grabbed one of your stuffed animals and throwing it at him. "Yeah, but I don't wanna." he pouted, grabbing the shovel beside you to fill another bucket with the sand around you, putting your stuffed animal aside.

"Why not?"

"Cause it's stupid."

"It's not stupid!"

You look up at him with a pout, looking at Jaemin who's eyes was filled with anger. "Why?" you asked, pulling your bucket to reveal a perfectly made sand castle. "It's stupid how we can't choose our soulmates." he whined.

"Why?" you asked again, in the same calm tone as you decorated your sandcastle with tiny figurines of your latest favorite cartoon. "I want to choose myself." he ran his hand through the sand, picking a pile up with his palm before letting it pour out in between his fingers.

"I want to choose my soulmate." he stated after a sigh, looking at you with his lips sucked in between his teeth as you gave him a sweet understanding smile. "Dont you, Y/n?" he asked, making you look up at him with a small questioning hum.

"Don't you wanna choose your soulmate, too?" he asked. "Me?" you asked, pointing a finger at yourself, making him nod. You grabbed your tigger plushie and hugged it to yourself, "I want to. So bad. Mommy says soulmates are the ones that make you happy, and would protect you when Mommy and Daddy aren't around. And would always be with you forever and ever," you gushed.

You paused as you hugged your plushie tight, "I would do anything to meet my soulmate." you sighed dreamily. "I think Tigger might be your soulmate," Jaemin teased. "I wish." you stuck your tongue and blew a raspberry teasingly at him, making him laugh.

"But Mommy says Tigger can't have a tattoo when he's 16 years old." you whined, looking at your plushie with your lips pursed. "See! This is why I don't want a soulmate." Jaemin huffed, raising his arms out at you before crossing them against his chest dramatically.

"I thought you said you want to choose your soulmate," you smiled, nuzzling your head against Tigger. Jaemin frowned, kicking some sand off the soles of his shoes, "That too." he grumbled under his breath.

"Even if your soulmate was me?" you asked teasingly, poking your cheek with your hand to act cute. The boy let out a giggle, throwing your plushie that was previously thrown at him to you. "Especially you!"

His words made you frown, your bottom lip sticking out. "Meanie! Na Jaemin is a meanie!" you whined before looking at your Tigger plush. "Tigger, Jaemin is a big meanie. He's not my soulmate. My soulmate would make me happy, not be mean to me." You announced dramatically as Jaemin stuck his tongue out with a teasing smile.

"For now, you're my soulmate, Tigger! Tigger makes me happy all the time!" you grinned widely as Jaemin laughed. "Tigger can't be your soulmate, y/n!!" he laughed, clutching his stomach at your weird antics.

"Yes he can! And he's a better soulmate than you'll ever be, Jaemin! Soulmates make each other happy all the time, not be mean to them!" you turned your head away from Jaemin dramatically, making Jaemin snort.

You were six years old when you found out Jaemin didn't want a soulmate. At least, a soulmate that was chosen for him. You didn't think he was serious, thinking it was merely just a phase that he would eventually get over and accept reality.

You were thirteen years old when you're beginning to think otherwise.

"Jaemin!!" you exclaimed, running up to him and hopping as you lay your hands on his shoulders, startling the boy. "How's my favorite bestfriend?" you grinned, tilting your head as you watch Jaemin chuckle softly at you.

"Im your only bestfriend, loser." he stated casually causing your smile to drop. "Damn, do you always have to ruin my mood? That is no way to speak to your precious best friend." you tutted, waving your index finger at him, making the boy giggle as he rolled his eyes.

"It's my job as a bestfriend to turn your life upside-down right?" he grinned as he shut his locker, walking by your side to your class. "Yeah, you're definitely not my soulmate." you stated in a monotone voice, your lips pursed dramatically.

"Could you stop talking bout soulmates for just a second?" he groaned loudly, tilting his head back in frustration. You grinned, "right, I forgot your sister found hers already. Must suck to hear how everyone in your family isn't single no more." you teased.

"Oh shut up, you're single too. Idiot." he sassed, gently flicking your forehead which caused you to let out a small yelp. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." you pouted, rubbing the slightly sore spot on your forehead as you continued to walk down the crowded halls.

"You still on that 'I'll reject my soulmate when I meet them' phase?" you mumbled, "this phase feels like its gonna last a whole lifetime, God." you continued as Jaemin let out an exasperated sigh. "It's not a phase, Y/n." he stated.

You raised your brow questioningly at your best friend, "you sure you won't change your mind?" you asked. You saw him nod without meeting your eyes, determined to keep his word. "Alright, dang, I feel bad whoever gets to be your soulmate." you chuckled.

"You're still love struck bout finding them? You got three years left til you actually get your tattoo. What's the rush?" he grinned after a moment of silence. You raise your eyebrows, "there's no rush. I just." you sighed, looking down at your two feet, your shoelaces both tied to a tight knot.

"I really really want to meet them." you sucked in your lips, hearing Jaemin let out a chuckle. "No kidding, y/n." he joked which made you glare at him. "I'm serious." you said, looking into his eyes with full seriousness to prove to him that you're actually that hyped up.

"I really really want to meet them. " you spoke. "My parents always show so much love for each other and they just make the concept seem so exciting. My mom says meeting your soulmate makes you feel whole and you can't stop yourself from smiling when you're around them." you explained.

"It's something you don't understand." you grinned, booping his nose which caused him to let out a small laugh. "Yeah, because I'm mostly sick of seeing my folks being all lovey dovey infront of me. Now I have my sister doing it," he scrunches his face in disgust.

"No matter, soulmates make each other happy. I'm sure mine is no different." you rolled your eyes, "your soulmate would just spend the rest of their lives being rejected by your stubborn ass," you nudged his side, making him smile. "Oh shut up," he laughed.

"Have you done your homework, mister?" you raised your brow teasingly. His face contorted from disgust to shock, his eyes widening. "We have homework?"

On your sixteenth birthday, you couldn't be more excited. They say the moment you blow your candles, it will start to appear. Jaemin got his on his birthday since he was older, his frown evident everytime he looks at his wrist.

He would cover his mark up with a bracelet or a watch so he wouldn't have to look at it every moment of his life. 'He's still going strong with his distaste for soulmates, huh?' you thought as you stared at yourself at the mirror, preparing for your big day.

The people you love around you, your parents putting down your cake infront of you with candles in the shape of numbers brightly lit. Everyone clapping and singing a happy birthday song before ending it with you blowing your candles.

You felt the skin on your wrist fidget, looking down at your left wrist everyone came closer to see your tattoo. Ink began to appear on your skin, forming a familiar small red heart balloon flying in between two clouds, awing everyone in the room.

Your jaw dropped as your eyes widened at the mark. The ink had stopped appearing, leaving your wrist with a small odd feeling. Like a thin layered sticker sticking to your skin. You looked up at the people around you who gave you compliments at your mark.

Everyone was smiling and congratulating you, however, your parents and Jaemin's parents were'nt looking too bright at your mark. Jaemin was unconsciously holding onto his left wrist which was covered by his new watch.

"Dude, your tattoo looks so aesthetically pleasing."

"Your tattoo looks so cute, do you think you found your soulmate already?"

"I hope you find them soon!"

"Man, I can't wait til I'm 16. That shit looked amazing!"

"Wonder who your soulmate is"

Everyone's words blurred in your ears as your eyes subtly went to Jaemin who was talking to his friends in the corner with a drink in his hand. His eyes met yours before giving you a small half hearted smile. It wasn't genuine. You knew what he was going to say after this party was over.

You gazed at the mark on your left wrist, running your thumb over it gently. Your head deep in the clouds, ignoring the people around you.

"Hey." Jaemin mumbled awkwardly after the party ended, leaving your house empty with just you, Jaemin and both of your parents. "Hey," you replied, tugging the sleeves of your hoodie as you didn't know what to say to him.

"So. We're soulmates." he stated as if it wasn't the obvious. Your eyes went to his left wrist, seeing that he had taken his watch off, leaving the skin a bit red from how tight he put on the watch. The similar mark of a red heart balloon in between two clouds evident on his skin.

"I guess." you shrugged, hugging your pillow to your chest tightly, tightening your grip with every passing second. "Listen, I-" Jaemin spoke after a long excruciating moment of silence. He cut himself off with a deep inhale.

"You know how I feel bout soulmates more than anyone. And it still hasn't change. You know I don't want a soulmate, at least one that's chosen for me." he bit his lip nervously, eyes not meeting yours. You couldn't lie, it felt like a strong punch to your gut. "But, like," Jaemin scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, unsure of what to say. "I don't want to lose you, my best friend, because of this silly stupid mark."

You furrowed your brows. 'He's your soulmate. You're fated to be together. He'll accept the fact soon, right? He just needs a little convincing.' you bit your lip. You were stubborn and you know it. You're gonna change his mind even if it's the last thing you do.

"So, can we just put this behind us-" Jaemin spoke softly before you cut him off. "No," you said in a bold tone, making him look at you wide confused eyes, brows furrowed. "What?" he mumbled.

You look up at him with determined eyes and a bright smile. "I know this isn't going to be easy but I'm going to do whatever it takes to convince you that deep down I know you feel something for me. Why? Cause we're soul mates and sooner or later you're going to accept that!" you huffed dramatically.

Jaemin started at you in disbelief, "don't try to talk me out of this. I'm just as stubborn as you are! I'm not stopping til you accept me as your soulmate," you put your hands on your hips, standing up to push him out of the room. "Wait what, Y/n-" he started as he stumbled to the exit of your room.

"Now get out, starting tomorrow I'm going to convince you. Therefore, I'll be needing tons and tons of rest. Just you wait, Na Jaemin. L/N Y/N is going to work hard for this!" you stuck your tongue out before slamming the door shut. You heard him sigh from the other side of the door before walking away half a minute later.

You leaned your back against the door in exhaustion, sliding down to sit down on the floor. Your smile turning to a quick frown as you ran a hand through your hair in frustration. This is going to be tough.

[crue6xx]

Special Girl

[Nikki×reader]

-------------------------------------------------

Warning:smut, cursing

Type:Smut/Fluffy

Word count:1653 way more now oof

Nikki and the guys are doing something special, and you get totally surprised.

--------------------------------------------------

Thursday

Today you woke up and Nikki wasn't in bed, you lie down and wait for him, suddenly Nikki swung through the door "hey baby, wanna go to the Rainbow for breakfast" Nikki said smiling and happy, you smiled and got ready for the day.

You hopped in the car with Vince driving, tommy in the back with Nikki and Mick in the front passengers side, you notice Nikki cant help but smile and is holding back giggles you dont pressure him about it though.

After you guys ordered, you looked out the window in the reflection something caught yours eyes, your jaw clenched and your hand tight , eyes wide open, you saw the waitress bent down to a position so Nikki could whisper into her ear, than he slipped her a $10.

You were about to get up and drag Nikki behind the Rainbow and yell at him, but just before you could even finish through what you were gonna do you heard singing and tambourines, Nikki had a giant smile as the waitress put a cake on the table while she sung happy birthday, "happy birthday baby!"

You smiled like an idiot, you ate cake with the guys and talked about how surprised you are "I didn't expect a thing" you said laughing.

Nikki fed you a piece of cake, you soon finished up at the Rainbow, thanking the waitress. When you got home you and Nikki snuggled and cuddled on the couch while watching a movie, you both fell asleep on the couch.

Friday

You wake up and immediately smell pancakes, bacon, and grits Nikki is shirtless halfway covered by the sheets and is propped on his elbow, "morning baby" Nikki smiled, you look at the bed and see a breakfast in bed tray in between you with two plates of breakfast for you and Nikki, "I'll put something on" Nikki said softly as he grabbed the remote and put on your favorite show.

You spent the day going around with Nikki to random places you picked, and Tommy followed along making it extra funny and with Mick's random expressions and sarcasticness, Vince randomly was here then there and gone and back.

Nikki bought you flowers and clothes you wanted, you didn't spend too much because you didn't just want his money.

Saturday

Nikki was up at night planning, soon to be you would have your fun. You woke up with Nikki wrapped around your body

"Nikki" lightly moving his arm over to his chest and then kissing his cheek he woke up a little bit "love you" Nikki groaned, you smiled "ok Nikki go back to sleep".

Later on when you all were awake, Nikki had told you dress in something comfortable but nice, you wondered why.

"Woah" Nikki said as you walked in the room wearing red pants that werent to tight but definitely showed your curves they looked like leather but it was stretchy, your shirt was a loose tank top reading "BAD BOYS" and a red symbol in the middle reading "Mötley Crüe" with a white strip through the middle saying "girls girls girls" and the bottom saying "HOLLYWOOD CA".

Nikki was on the couch wearing a leather jacket with a black tank top yes again saying "Suck It" with a black and white bandana around his neck and leather pants.

You Nikki and the guys drove out to one of the bands best friends who at the time worked at Elektra records and had a decked out mansion.

When you pulled up there were many cars parked literally everywhere, people inside and outside all over the place, in the pool, bushes like no kidding, "Nikki!" Some guy says walking up to Nikki with his hand out "yo haven't seen you in a bit" they talked a bit until he turned to you "hi I'm Markus, with a K" you guys shook hands.

"Hey come look at this" he lead you 2 through the crowd in the living room which yes had a real dance floor that lit up, Mick was on the couch talking to some girl Vince was probably getting a blow job somewhere and Tommy was showing his swimming skills off until he got water up his nose.

Markus brought you guys up to the balcony of the master bedroom that peered down on the living room, a balcony inside the house wow this is nice you thought, suddenly you saw random guys looking at eachother like there is some sort of que.

Markus nodded to the Dj and the Dj nodded to some other guy passing it arond the house and outside until basically everyone was inside the house and Markus nodded to one other guy and got off the balcony "HAAPY BIRTHDAY (Y/N)" everyone screamed and shouted popping tiny trinkets and confetti and fog machines went off.

After that quick rush of excitement and thrill things got a bit calm and "without you" started to play, Nikki got on one knee and pulled out a tiny black box with a skull and bones on the top, "(y/n) I love you so Damn much, always have always will, and I knew since the day we met you were gonna be the one never got away, so (y/n) the love of my life will you marry me" Nikki opened the box to a shiny diamond ring with a small red gem inside that glowed in the light and on the bottom of the ring read "special girl" you started to tear up and cover your mouth "OH MY GOD NIKKI! YES YES ONE MILLION TIMES YES OH MY GOD" you practically jumped up and down. Nikki placed the ring on your finger and moved the ring from his right hand to his left hand ring finger.

You both kissed passionately and soft but a bit rough, his lips meet yours as you put your hands on his cheeks as he put his arms over your shoulder.

"This is why your my special girl" he said softly in your ear

You both got off the balcony of the master bed room that was inside, the music changed to "same ol' situation" you talked to people and had some drinks.

"Wow Nikki" Tommy said just starring in disbelief Mick patted Nikki on the back and hugged him, "alright my man" Vince said all gathering around you and Nikki "that's a awesome ring (y/n)" Tommy looked at you smiling.

After all the people talked "without you" started up again and you and Nikki got on the dance floor.

Nikki had his forehead on yours as his arms were over your shoulders swaying to the music as Nikki synced these lyrics to the song "without you in my life i'd slowly wilt and die but with you by side your the reason I'm alive". You kissed Nikki softly he looked you in the eyes "Your my special girl and I love you so god damn much" Nikki kissed your neck as the song came to a nice mellow end lining up perfectly with Nikkis proposal of love to you.

"don't go away mad (just go away)" played and you turned around Nikki put his arms around your waist as you swayed he pressed into you a bit and you could feel the massive bulge he has been keeping in for about 2 maybe 3 hours now that had pressed into the curve of your ass perfectly, warm and stiff, you could feel him throbbing through his leather pants "damn Nikki, your hard".

Nikki smiled "I've been starring at you for half the night even kissing you could easily get me off"

You turned around "I'm gonna get a drink" you kissed him on the cheek, Nikki nodded "hey Markus thanks for letting us use your house" Nikki thanked Markus "nah man any time no problem" Markus happily explained.

"Ya think I could use the master bedroom?" Nikki asked "yeah but your cleaning the sheets" Markus joked with Nikki, You came back to the dance floor and looked around "hey Markus where is Nikki" you kind of had to shout cuz of the music "I'm pretty sure he's in the master bedroom" Markus said as he took a shot.

You headed up to the Master bedroom, you opened the door and Nikki was on the outside balcony drinking looking at the palm trees, "hey Nikki" you came up in front of him "I was thinking about what went on on the dance floor, wanna deal with it?"" you said stroking his chest Nikki kissed you "hey baby".

You kissed him back, you started to get into a rough make out session he squeezed your ass as you pushed into his bulge with Nikkis hot breath leaving hickeys and a trail of kisses down your neck, Nikki kissed you on the way to the bed, you pushed Nikki onto the bed Nikki took off his tank top as you unbuckled his pants and dropped his pants down to his ankles, his pre-cum dripping onto his leg and covering his tip fully dripping on the sides, you suck his tip slowly taking all of his pre-cum in tour mouth, and licking the sides slowly and to the top then taking him in whole his tip pressing against the back of your throat.

As you sucked him off, he slid his hand down your pants into your panties and rubbed your clit, he could feel how wet you were, he flipped you onto the bed and pulled off your shirt, you unclipped your bra as Nikki took off your pants and panties.

He put you on his lap as he kissed you slow but a delicious needing desire of affection, he pumped into you 5 times, you wrapped your legs aeound his waist as he flipped you on your back in the bed.

Nikki easily slid into you, "shit, Nikki" you moaned with your head back and eyes closed, Nikki just hovered over you cursing and clenching his fists in the bed railing you hard and fast "Fuck baby, your so Damn wet"

Nikki started to rub your clit while fucking you mercilessly in and out fast and hard, your grip tightened on the sheets as he would come out slightly so his tip rubs your clit every other second, teasing you and licking his lips, with his hips bucking faster into you with his every thrust making your legs quiver in pleasure, "my fucking special girl, yeah whos my special girl" Nikki demandingy asked, you tried to speak but couldn't Nikki thrusted into you harder as he groaned oh "who my special girl huh?", "me Nikki, fuck Nikki, me".

Nikki was about to break, and you were reaching your breaking point as well, "Shit babe, im gnna cum....Fuck in gonna cum all inside you baby" Nikki moaned loudly you finally hit your orgasm, Nikki still finishing as you felt a warm thickish liquid drip from you, Nikki lied down beside you before he got up to rinse off for a 30 second shower, and got ready.

When you both were ready, you went downstairs and it was quite obvious what you were doing but you ate dinner and went back upstairs to cuddle spoon and snuggle to sleep.

[oceandunst]

In posting to the void that is my old account since no one will see it anyway.

I don't want to be alive anymore. There's no point in my existence. I'm literally so fucking alone and too tired. I've been sick for almost 2 years. I can't eat, I can't eat anything normal or that you can just buy in a store so every time I go anywhere I'm a nuisance or I'm pittied. I still don't have a diagnosis and doctors won't listen.

The longer I'm in therapy, the less point I see in being here. I'm remembering more and more of shit that I didn't know happened and it's destroyed any happy feelings I've had about my parents and I have no relationship with my family anymore and they don't want to have one.

I have no purpose, I have nothing I like or want to do anymore and haven't in a very long time. Everything I think I like just frustrates me and I get no joy from anything anymore.

I have no money and can't afford groceries or gas despite working my ass off for the past 2 years and I can't catch up. I'm paying for the lives of 2 people with no help and it was too much to do the job I had physically anymore and now I have no savings, I'm drowning in medical debt and I don't know what to do.

I haven't been able to afford Christmas presents in years, no one cares enough to even ask me what I like or even just invite me over to spend time for holidays.

I had no one actually call to say happy birthday this year, and the only person in my life didn't do anything more than make dinner. I made my own cake and no one sang to me. I got an emoji from my mother and a vague Facebook post I'm not tagged in from father. Not even a text.

I don't want to seem ungrateful but I see my fiances family and how much they love their kids and how much they do for them and I feel like I'm just.. there.. if there was no connection with my fiance, they wouldn't care about my existence anymore. All the "friends" I've had only talk to me when they need things or when I badger them into spending time with me and then it's oh I missed you we need to do something again and then I don't see or hear from them for a year. I have so much trauma that no one will ever really love me and I think I'm autistic which explains why I've never fit in a day in my life and have never understood why. I was always that weird girl and I was only liked when I "put a face on" and now looking back, I've just masked my whole life to be accepted and not beaten and I don't know who I am, all I am is a series of traits from my diagnosis. I'm not a person. I feel so hollow and so sad and I just don't find any point in being alive anymore. If my fiance didn't live with me, no one would notice if I died. He doesn't even notice when I'm feeling this way, or of he does he doesn't talk to me about it or ask if I'm okay.

I don't want to do this anymore and I have no reason to stay. I'm just shouting to the void because I know no one will care and this this account is so dead no one will see this.

I just want to be loved. Like really loved. Like have your mom call just to call or have your dad even attempt to talk to you for the first time in 2 years without you initiating the conversation. Am I really that terrible or unlovable that the people who brought me in the world can't stand me? Am I such a bad person to talk to that dispite me reaching out to my cousins, I'm the only one who never gets an invite to family picnics or birthdays? My cousin and her husband separated and I found out from strangers second hand, everyone else in my family knew. I couldn't even try to be there for her or anything and now im too afraid to say anything because it's been months and I don't want to dredge up things. They have a "cousins' group chat that has everyone but me in it. I went to my younger cousins wedding reception and had to sit with strangers because no one wanted to sit with me, not even my mother or sister. They didn't even say hi, I didn't know they were there and they walked right past me like I didn't exist.

I feel stupid for being hurt. I feel stupid for letting it get to me but I literally have no one in my life thats here for me.

I'm in so much pain. Mentally, physically and nothing helps anymore and everyone thinks I'm just making it up but I can't keep weight on, everything makes me sick, I can't do just normal things like cleaning or grocery shopping or even just taking ot the garbage without being exhausted in just a few minutes. I'm a shell. I'm not a person.

What's the fucking point.