#I've ruined everything again.. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tinni404 · 9 months ago

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#I've ruined everything again..#I can't be given colored pencils #your boyfriend #your boyfriend peter #your boyfriend game #y0urb0yfriend #yb peter #yb art #yb game #yb #peter dunbar #yandere vn #my art #sketchbook #traditional art #artists on tumblr

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yardsards · 2 years ago

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the problem with taz balance is that half of the things that make me want to recommend it to people are major spoilers that will fundamentally change the listening experience

#eliot posts #taz #the adventure zone #like i've gotten a few followers to check it out with my constant posting of it #but also my posts are full of major spoilers #which i won't say ''ruin'' the experience #bc it's still very good with all the twists revealed #and in some ways the dramatic irony of knowing so many things that the characters don't makes listening SO FUN #but at the time. i wish SO BADLY that i could wipe my mind of everything that happens in taz balance #and listen to it for the first time again #i started listening back while it was still coming out #and the fun of figuring out the mysteries and then having your whole view forcibly recontextualized by The Big Reveal #absolutely unparalleled

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wolfsong-the-bloody-beast · 8 months ago

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Ifan for like 80% of the game.

#Divinity #Divinity: Original Sin 2 #DOS2 #Ifan ben-Mezd #sorry not sorry but I was thinking about his love confession again #''every step of the way I've wanted you‚ since the moment we met''#and there's a meme for everything these days #rewrite with necessary bits for your character if there's a need #I felt like ''thinks about 'naughty bits' in silence'' kinda ruins the flow

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vaguely-concerned · 5 months ago

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margaret taunting york with the handkerchief dunked in rutland's blood as he's dying and then later protesting heartbrokenly that her son is just a boy as the york brothers kill him vs. richard genuinely seeming to be the most upset about what happened to rutland among the york brothers (he's the one who brings it up the most afterwards, the way he furiously calls clifford a child-killer), and then what he's going to go on to do in his own play........

they would be so drift compatible in a way they'd both despise lmao (with absolutely no shipping undertones whatsoever, to be clear, it's all about the recognition of the self through the (literal) Other (derogatory) here)

#the other Other as it were lol #the male ablebodied baseline world of the plays cannot stop them from being the best fucking characters in it #and also the most unhinged. god bless the bottomless wells of rage one gets to partake in as catharsis here #even as everything moves inevitably towards self-destructive ruin #henry vi part 3 #margaret of anjou #richard iii #york's death is *awful* but I must admit that when he's like 'women should be soft and meek and gentle🥺'#...I do have a moment of 'you know what. stab him again girl' every time fsjajfsa #that's right folks I'm back in the history play mines. pray for me #of all the things for my brain to keep doing when I'm having a weird mental health time... laser focusing in on a shakespeare play #isn't the WORST thing that could be my first instinct I guess lmao #honestly the feeling of the world rapidly and inexorably going to hell through the henry vi plays... might be just the time #to film a new version lmao. the hollow crown one is pretty meh to my memory save for having The margaret of all time #I'm watching the 1983 version right now and genuinely. some of the best shakespeare I've ever experienced it's so fucking good #bernard hill. there was a man who knew how to Stand. he'll just be in the background as york all the way through part 2 #and I'm like 'no but for real monarchy is a moral blight upon the world etc. but I think that might be the rightful king actually'#incredibly well paced too considering how much of the play it keeps in there. so many good performances it feels so real

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forestgreenlesbian · 1 year ago

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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

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skibasyndrome · 7 months ago

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#time to be a whiny lil mf on main again #sorry for always coming with this shit recently #also sorry for not being able to reply to chats and asks #why is........ everything............ so gd exhausting #I'm supposed to have fun later today because we're celebrating Joshua's birthday #tell me why I've been miserable since yesterday #I used to like these things #I used to be able to do these things and also do my uni work and also not feel shit about it all #instead I'm now apparently knocked out by the smallest interactions and then get resentful because there's no time to “recover” in sight an #it's stressing me out left right and center #I just wanna be able to enjoy things with friends again #and not hate it every time #simon.out.#once again battling two wolves #one of which wants to isolate and rest and wait out for better days to come (idk how likely that one is fellas)#and the other one is MISERABLE because isolating feels like SHIT because I feel like I'm letting everyone down and ruining every relation #relationship i've ever built up with anyone ever

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worminthewood · 6 days ago

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Going outside in just a t shirt and shorts is AWFUL. I feel naked!!! I feel like an undercover cop!!! There was a goth girl on the bus and I couldn't bring myself to tell her I love her outfit bc (again) I LOOKED LIKE AN UNDERCOVER COP. WE NEED A NUCLEAR WINTER I SWEAR TO GOD

#ahhhh summerhateposting is back. in less strength admittedly bc I've been making myself go outside and taking the bus #and heat actually isn't terrible when you're an adult and have the actual choice to go inside when you're too uncomfortable #childhood once again ruining what should actually be an at least kind of okay experience!!!!#i would have dressed much more alt if I wasn't going to a job thing lol but alas dress codes #I could have at least worn an open button down and my rosary 🥲#i need a spiked bracelet for real man it's getting dire. there was a GOTH GIRL on the BUS #DEMONIAS. AND EVERYTHING #I FELT LIKE A FUCKING LOSER #<-he is intimidated by women at his baseline. this did not help.

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seventh-district · 2 months ago

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tfw you're trying to write a Genshin fic but ur memory is shit so u have to leave urself [REMINDERS] to come back and correct your spelling/figure out NPC names/scour the wiki to double-check character and story lore, because if u even so much as glance away from the google doc in the moment you'll lose all of your writing momentum

coughs [link to some other (better) excerpts from the fic since the post didn't make it into the tags and i'm too lazy to remake it]

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin venti #genshin diona #genshin rosaria #my writing #gi venti #gi diona #gi rosaria #back at it again with more out-of-context fic snippets bc i can't help myself #i'm finally back to editing this so now i get the fun (/gen) job of combing thru the fic to find all the little [NOTES] i left for myself #idk if anyone else will find these funny but i do. just casually re-reading what i wrote and then suddenly past-Seven is [YELLING AT ME]#btw i'm not a dialogue-skipper (for the most part...) i Swear 😭 this game just has so much lore and my brain is so small #and a lot of what i'm touching on is stuff i played through 1-3 years ago okay gimme a break i can't remember the exact details #like i had to edit out where i previously had Venti say 'the NEW Dendro Archon' bc i forgor that the Traveler is the only one that-#-remembers that Rukkhadevata ever existed. and so then it got me wondering just how much ppl outside of Fontaine actually know #regarding Focalors' death and the whole divine throne destruction. so i gotta check the wiki to figure out exactly how much Venti knows #and also how much the general public knows so i know how much to have him reveal to Diona! this shit is getting complicated!!!#i can't ever remember how tf to spell Schnechnaeyaeh . i'm sorry Russians 😔 but tbf i never remember Khahnreiah?? either #and idek what culture they pulled that name from. which is bold of me considering my own dang genshin OC spent time down there #i've spent so long making up fanon shit in my brain for the sake of This Is Unconditional & Saoirse's lore that idk what's canon anymore!#but there's always the wiki. so off i go to try & figure out everything i need to know in order to make this fic somewhat canon compliant #well actually it's midnight so i should probably just go sleep. but i'm Trying to get this fic posted before 5.6 drops on Tuesday #bc i just know that if i play thru the new Mondstadt quest it's gonna give me more Ideas to add in/change about this fic #so i'm trying to get it out of my hands before i can be tempted to change anything else... but only time will tell #with the state of my daily life these days and how slowly i'm editing this it'll be a small miracle if i can get it up by then #i couldn't remember what those big furry round animals in Sumeru are called but i feel like they're the closest genshin has to an elephant #wait. well actually now that we have Natlan and all their Saurians... hmm. further wiki searching is needed. perhaps a Tatankasaurus #but i don't feel like Mondstadters would even know what those are. but what would the local equivalent even be. a ruin guard???#anyways. was gonna try to yap less in these tags in case that's what's causing Tumblr to chuck my posts into the void but. Oh Well!

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lalizah · 2 months ago

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Love the fact that I got to experience the masterpiece that is Mr Sunshine. Hate how I can't find anything like it 🙂

#so this is what they mean when they talk about that one love you will never forget #because everything else is ruined for me 🫠#ok ok Fallen Hero too it is EVERYTHING i've ever wanted in terms of the relationships and dynamics between characters #especially Ortega and the MC #idk how to explain it but these two sit on the same table for me again in terms of characters and how amazing they are #and i fear i cant find anything like it again and ive gone into a slump #after exams i am forcing myself to read as many book recs as I can maybe I'll find something

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nerice · 2 months ago

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i want to say i tried. but there also comes the point where u have to admit you've tried enough. this is abt me being social. i'm so gd tired of it, it does momentary joy for me at best (that never seems worth it in retrospect) but largely is just a neutral void and no matter what it causes this weird noise in my brain that sticks around for weeks. i used to enjoy the hit & run of online engagement at least but the more time passes the more i feel like the way my last irl group ended has drained me of any remaining goodwill for this endeavor

#it feels like i need to defrag my brain. there is too many artifacts in there and i cannot form a clear thought anymore #everything is tainted by interactions i've had #meanwhile i've never felt lonely in my life. solitude is so comfortable yet it act like a fucking clicker trained dog #coming to heel at social situations bc that's what im supposed to do. not bc i secretly crave it or whatever bullshit #it's like being polite to strangers. it's just what i'm used to doing nd then i have to beat the fog out of my brain again #elia txts #szpd posting. if you need to understand #there is no ill will here. i'm just deeply agnostic abt the concept of friendship. call it aplatonic or whatever #this may pass again but the last few yrs have truly ruined me i think. there is nothing left and nowhere to go from here

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deadn30n-arch · 2 months ago

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i resubbed to ffxiv......

#talking to mie about it yesterday made me miss it #now that i've had lunch i think i'll write a couple more things then go play it for a bit #i miss looking at solstice :(#i miss the excitement and wonder that story gave me #i'm still struggling to recover from the person who kinda ruined everything for me but i #i'm slowly healing #i want to fall in love with the game again without be reminded of something so painful

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 3 months ago

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the problem of coming from the high octane shipwar hell of ff7twt to being a ride or die for two white, straight people that i insist are in a metaphorically gayer relationship than a mixed-race married straight couple is that i'm so shipwarbrained that the only basis i consume media through is how much emotional torment can i go through by choosing the less-liked romantic pairing and talking about how stupid it is that they're less liked because the story clearly likes them more and it's just the dipshit fans who have a problem with it. also no one cares about what i'm saying so it makes me feel very stupid for saying it but i can't help that the only media i like is either about people whose lives suck so much they end up killing themselves or about two people loving each other through the worst experiences of their lives collectively. like what's even the point of life if i can't romanticize it.

#the 'straight ship for gay people' discourse is pissing me off so much i'm getting secondhand brain damage from people thinking that #two college professors who go on trips to like. andalusia or some shit vs. 2 people born into a system that actively hates them & wants the #to focus on their only purpose which is to work for the system that hates them + whatever other cult behavior nonsense that is behind the #veil that we don't yet know about. and i'm supposed to root for an alcoholic who emotionally checked out of his marriage when his wife #couldn't give birth. okay. and it's such an uphill fight for people to see the main characters of the show as more worthwhile of rooting #for than the relationship we only know in the context of the grief of losing/not cherishing said relationship #how am i supposed to gaf when the whole point of markgemma's relationship is that it ostensibly ended the moment she walked out that door #meanwhile we actively see markhelly(na)'s develop along with the character's respective arcs. it just pisses me off so bad how people root #for the most boring lamebrained easiest solution to difficult and thought-provoking things CONSTANTLY. if mark had chose gemma #i think that would have ruined the show for me. had everything been the same. i don't know that i would have realized that in the initial #viewing of the finale if it had ended that way but i think it would've hit me later just how much it wouldn't hit me. if that makes sense #i mean. talking in hypotheticals doesn't really help my case i guess but i just don't really feel anything for their relationship other tha #the vague sense of happiness that they were able to see each other again however briefly despite the many obstacles #+ in that way i suppose i feel exactly how mark s felt for ms casey. a sense of respect for but no actual warmth towards their relationship #anyways i think i've rambled enough about this for one day. surely there will be no reason for me to ramble about it more later (lying)

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knightofgoetia · 4 months ago

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you guys realize that things (the DMC Netflix anime) don't necessarily need to be either (1) the equivalent to the Holy Grail or (2) like it killed your grandma. you guys realize 'mediocre' and 'generic' exist. right.

#i am unfortunately from the negative side of this all #i'm salty. i've written a lot of criticism. and i despise the attitude of the showrunner with my whole being #but also. i have a life. so i simply shared those thoughts with. like. two close people #and i have everything muted because: i'm tired boss #look. yes. some people have done ridiculous criticism. that's true #but most of the times... it bas been justified. i am sorry. but it has #we're back with the 'wacky woohoo pizza man' bullshit again. and with Vergil only being the damn storm that is apro #you get it.#i would prefer for this to be the absolute worst as some people claim it to be so i didn't get it to jumpscare me more #but unfortunately it's not. it's just mediocre #another generic action anime for me #and i don't even watch much stuff in general. i either read or play stuff #but i can't just sit and watch. so like. i just want april to pass. i'm tired bosssssss #probably because due to me not being the most-mentally-stable-person-out-there #— i cannot enjoy a ✨piece of media✨ like any normal human being would #it has to both (1) save my life and (2) ruin my life. no in between #hyperfixations. yeah. but this time for real #The Odyssey (yes the damn poem) has been stucked with me since i was 10 years old #that's a whole decade of something affecting my life and the way i am #and now. last year Devil May Cry was added as the second one #i always avoided the saga like the plague. the memes. the view of the series the fandom gave me... it just wasn't it #and perhaps it's thanks that a mutual convinced me to start with 1 and not with 5 that my mind had changed so quickly #so seeing a story and characters that have affected me in both the good and the bad at such a deep level #— getting changed almost completely for the sake of a bottleg universe #eh. i'll pass #then again. it's just not for me #i guess. not like i'll go tell my therapist about it #because it's not good. it's not bad. it's mediocre #and something generic at least will pass by. i hope #deleting later

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aroacewxs · 9 months ago

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everybody gangsta until you realize you've internalized the aphobia you avoided like the plague despite approaching your aspec identity with such a positive outlook

#jay does a think #guys this may be undiagnosed ocd at work. but who's to say #me when i've fallen into a cycle of having my identity disrespected #where i become repulsed by the fact that this person views me in that way.#so much to the point i think . oh god this ruins everything actually. i dislike this a lot actually #so out of defense i come out. i come out to people i meet and realize i hang out with a lot. to avoid misunderstanding!!!!#to avoid that from happening again!!! look!! you can't view me in that way!!!! you can't!!!!!! i will cry!#and then you think . wait. i shouldn't even be caring this much! why do i care so much!! does this gross me out that badly !!#am i that vain of a person !!!!!!!#this definitely says something about my character and morals. for sure for sure. /s #i shouldn't have to come out for such a sad stupid reason! i don't owe this to anybody!#but then . ooh. silly little voice in the skull . telling me that hey it doesn't actually matter because #aromanticism isn't even queer. it's just easy it's fixable it's all of those Things #man i just want to play and draw #i want to finish my assignment #cw aphobia

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notdeadyetmatthews · 1 year ago

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It's only really just hit me that today was the day I was supposed to be seeing my favourite band and I couldn't because my anxiety won and I hate myself

#tw anxiety #i fucking hate myself #I've been so excited for this for like almost a year #been telling everyone how excited I was to see Lord Huron finally #and I couldn't #because my anxiety has won #once again #like it has every time I have tried going to a fun event this year #and ruined everything for me #and ngl #kinda wanna die rn #lord huron #😭

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navree · 2 years ago

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watching the crown is a trip because it's a very good show about some of the most ass backwards people you will ever witness on a screen acting like it's still fucking tudor times, and some of them are also incredibly insufferable about it

#personal #as i've always said the real villain of the crown is the institution of the monarchy and also philip #the institution of the monarchy because it really does ruin everything and everyone it touches and we've seen that time and time again #like literally every season #and also philip because he's just SUCH an asshole #my god does he suck #anyway watching these old ass white people go 'the monarchy exists to give an example of nobility to the masses'#'to lift them out of their wretched existance' literally made me groan out loud #y'all are random rich people with no fucking power who exist because so far public opinion has continued to allow you to exist #you do nothing you contribute nothing you help nothing you fucking govern nothing #god birthright monarchy is such a scam #just end it and have normal democracies like every other country worth its salt #not to bully the british but that is one backwards fuckin country

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