#IT WAS SO GOODDDDDDDD EVERYTBIGN IS SO HORRIBLE AND PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL

[skylilac]

iughhhh you guys keefitz was so good like genuinelyyyyyy this guy wants everything this other guy has perfect family perfect personality perfect looks which is gay af but he wants alllllllll of that he wants that to be HIM and its NOT he wants that older brother he wants that dad he wants that mom he idolizes it all theyre best friends theyre each others ONLY FRIENDS until suddenly thwy become popular and fitz becomes hotter and suddenly he has to share him with EVEDYONE ELSE which is FINE its FINE until this girl comes and he likes this girl sure but this girl REALLY likes fitz and suddenly theyre both keeping secrets and hanging out and doing these private telepathy sessions and its still fine theyre still best friends right right but now fitz isnt telling him things hes telling her and oh my god his older brother just ran away and that life isnt so perfect anymore bjt also it kind of HAS to be like this is what hes dreamed of his whole life its gotta be ok its always ok for the vackers but oh god he IDOLIZED alvar and he LOVES fitz even if everythings not perfect anymore but fitz doesnt wanna be near him and he just wants to fix everyrhing and he runs away and he knows the entire time fitz will hate him but he can fix things he really CAN and maybe in the back of his head hes thinking okay okay if i fix everything if i bring his older brother his idol back will we be best friends again will he love me but he really just fucks everything up and he comes back and he hasnt brought alvar back and fitz just hates him he canr look at him without seeing his older brother its all betrayal and he cant look past it and he just messed it all uo all over again and oh god fitz and sophie are getting closer and closer and everyone is watching his own family falling apart but he cant go to fitzs anymore to pretend its all alright because nothing is alright and fitz doesnt spend time with him anymore so all he can do is remember when he DID and they were BEST FRIENDS and when sophie and fitz are healing he hangs out there when he can hes just dying to be close to fitz and now it seems the only way this can happen is by being with sophie as well but he can see the space between sophie and fitz growing smaller and the space between him and fitz growing larger and larger and what can he do he cant stop it he has to walk away from the healing center knowing hes losing everything and everything is totally awful like really and then theyre together and he just might kill himself the two people he loves most in the world growing apart from him and hes awful and hes jealous and he tries to talk to sophie about it because he just cant talk to fitz about this he physically cant but he cant help the jealousy in his voice when hes with sophie and he cant help but point out the flaws he sees and he cant help but pray it wont work out because its so obvious its SO OBVIOUS fitz shouldnt be wirh sophie he should be with HIM he KNOWS IT but also he cant do anything and fitz hates him and maybe they should both just be happy with each other and maybe its better without him there right and then they break up and he literally does not know what to do or say or think because thank god but oh god he cant DO ANYTHING and fitz hates him MORE NOW and he knows fitz has the wrong idea abt whats going on but its not like he can correct fitz right he cant admit everythings thats happening to him he can only go along with whatever it is but its literally awful and now he cant even be in the same room as fitz without the tension being so palpable everyone notices even sophie and she doesnt know whats happening but shes beginning to get the wrong idea and he doesnt know how to say this because he can barely admit it to himself but its AWFUL and NO ONE KNOWS and HES IN LOVE WITH FITZ VACKER