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Hey I didn't really have access to the internet today so this is coming a bit late but in regards to this post from yesterday a clarification (if you see this and reblogged the original post I'd ask you to please reblog this clarification as well since tumblr doesn't let people edit the original posts after reblogs happened):
At the time of posting yesterday the only sources I could find on the banning of the Palestine Congress by german police were german sources, as international sources hadn't started reporting on it yet at that point.
Due to the biased reporting by these german sources and the unavailability of other sources to me yesterday I got confused and made a mistake I'd like to adress, which I only noticed when looking at an additional source I found today:
Because the website of the Palestine Congress did not clarify on what exactly happened and because german media refer to simply "a man", "some man" or "a speaker" or refer to his surname when talking about Salman Abu Sitta , whose video message the police cited as grounds for dissolving the conference, I got confused when seeing tumblr reposts of Dr. Ghassan Abu Sitta's tweets about being banned from entering the country or holding speeches at the Congress and , his tweets being a primary source, I assumed that german media had been referring to him after all and that the one source I did see about it being Salman Abu Sitta who got banned from entry and from holding speeches had mixed them up due to their surnames.
It turns out that german police had in fact banned both of them from both entering germany and from holding speeches at the congress, but german media decided to either only report on one of those cases, reported on them by referring to them just by surname, or referred to just "some man" without any further clarification at all.
I'm sorry for the confusion this caused, the way german media reports about this is both confusing and extremely bigoted and the website of the congress itself did not clarify what happened, so seeing a primary source I assumed that was what german sources had been actually reporting on.
Aside from that, it's absurd how bigoted german police, media and politicians are, having not one but two palestinian speakers attending a conference organised by multiple leftist organisations banned from entering the country, prohibited from holding their speeches and being harrassed by police, and then german media not even reporting on this properly but instead presenting it the way it did.
Most german media sources I saw didn't even report on the fact that multiple jewish activists had been arrested at the Congress, instead preferring to refer to Jewish Voice for Peace as an 'antisemitic organisation'.
#german stuff#palestine#free palestine#current events#again sorry for the confusion and for the mistake#the way german media is reporting on this is absolutely atrocious in multiple ways#and because the conference's website unfortunately doesn't clarify either I assumed the primary source tweets were what was being reported#this is on me I should have waited for further international sources on this and will do so the next time a situation like this arises
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The Unseen World: Secret Life of VirusesđŚ #pencis #researchers #infectio...
#youtube#Website: International Conference on Infectious Diseases InfectiousDiseases ICID2024 or relevant year GlobalHealth DiseasePrevention Infect
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King of the Streets

Pairing: street racer!Jaehyun x journalist!reader
Genre: street racing au, action, drama, romance, slow burn, smut
Word Count: 28k (I just can't write short stories, I'm sorry)
Summary: The moment you find yourself hiding in the backseat of a sports car that's illegally racing through the city, you just know this story will finally catapult you to the top of your journalism career. But there are a few things you haven't reckoned: How personal this story will eventually turn - and the driver's sheer insatiable craving for lollipops. And for you.
A/N: I started this after Jaehyun admitted he would have liked to become an F1 racer if the idol-path wouldn't have worked out for him. I spiraled and this is the outcome - I hope you have fun reading it as much as I had writing it!
âItâs been three years since Iâve started working here, and-â
âUnfortunately, this doesnât matter, miss.â
For an entire week, you had prepared yourself for this meeting with your editor-in-chief. You had written down all your achievements from when you were an intern to your current position.Â
And he had the nerve to tell you it all didnât matter?
It had been three very long years with too many nights spent in the office to meet a deadline you were not responsible for, trips all across the country on your own account for stories that hadnât even made it into the magazine, and work meetings where no one had bothered listening to your ideas and input.
After all the hard work and sleepless hours you had poured into your dedicated passion, it was unfathomable to you how he didnât even bother bringing up the slightest interest in what you had to say, and it showed all over face in the form of widened eyes and slightly parted lips.
âOthers have started prior to you and theyâre in the exact same position,â your chief editor said, swaying in his chair. The cityâs skyline spread behind him like a painting as the sun was setting, and more than once had you already imagined yourself in that spot. âWhat makes you think youâre better than any of them?â
An imaginary note popped up in your head. You got this, you were prepared for this. âIâm one of the firsts to go and one of the last to leave, I wrote the most clicked article on our website - to this day. I offer input to everyone who hasnât got something going on, my personal and professional network that Iâve built throughout the past years is wide and strong. Iâm the first one to take on suggested topics, the number of articles I publish per month is the highest out of all editors, Iâm always up-to-date, I live for this job.â
The middle-aged man leaned forward and propped his elbows against the glass table, inspecting you thoroughly while you were bracing yourself to elaborate every bullet point. But he only said,Â
âNo, I donât think so.â
You were flabbergasted. âPardon me?â
âI donât think you actually live for this job,â he explained calmly. âFor that, it takes more than research and cranking out as many articles as possible just because your writing is good. It is, trust me, but the stories lack emotion and graspable actions. Right now, youâre only sitting in front of the computer, writing from your imagination. You donât live the stories, youâre not in them.â
âI take trips across the country to attend events, I participate in every press conference possible, I-â
Again, he interrupted you, âHara got in contact with a designer and walked for his show as an amateur model. Dal went to the rooftop of the highest building in this city and took pictures that even made it into television.â
âBut that is illegal,â you commented. âHara smuggled herself in when one of the models fell sick and Dal nearly got caught by the police.â
âAnd we wouldâve bailed for all of them.â He sighed deeply as if annoyed by repeating himself. âSee, this is what Iâm trying to say, miss. The writing that youâre delivering is clean and conformable to law. When I read your articles, Iâm well informed, but nothing sticks in my head. Weâre a magazine, not a newspaper. Nobody wants to read about the opening of a new restaurant when they can read about things they will never be able to experience themselves. You have to dive in the story, be in the story to make people believe theyâre in them too when they read it.â
You were quite taken aback as you noticed he remained polite when all he wanted to say was, âSo, my stories are too boring, not sensational.â
The editor-in-chief let out another long sigh and fell back into his chair. âYou have a trademark, but you have to get out of your secure shell to actually go somewhere, otherwise youâre going to get stuck.â
You were a goody two-shoes was what he tried to tell you. You were on the top when it was about writing, grammar and quantity, but your stories didnât attract anyoneâs interest, and if that wasnât the case, then you could write as many perfect articles as you wanted - you would never get a higher position.
You inhaled deeply. âSo, what do you suggest Iâd do?â
His answer was clear, âLook for a story that will change lives. Write a story that will leave people breathless, and youâre getting the position of a senior editor. Because miss, youâre one of the most capable journalists here, but you donât only need to be capable, you need to be a storyteller. If you can do this, propose the topic to me next week. If itâs what I expected, it will make headlines in the next issue and secure your new position.â
If only it were so easy.
____
You were sitting in the fast food restaurant with your notebook opened in front of you. Every single page was blank even though you had been there for several hours already, the ballpen in your hand having barely moved ever since.
âDo you want to order something else?â
âIâm good, thank you.â
You could only imagine the eyeroll the waitress let out when she turned away from you after not getting another order for two hours. But you were already short of cash this month and wouldnât get paid for another week.Â
Another reason why you needed the senior position: as a regular editor, you could barely get by. Why were journalists underpaid anyway when they were the source of daily news and this connected the world? You had never understood.
Many ideas had flown into your head, from working a day in a job that was notorious to interviewing an infamous inmate, but none of these were exciting or extraordinary enough like it was expected of you. The topics that you came up with didnât immediately peak interest when you researched about what your fellow editors had ever written about. And what you found left you nearly speechless and doubting yourself.
Yes, you had always been tame, reserved, a goody two-shoes. That was why your mind was also not expanding to the way it was expected of reporters. Perhaps, you were not made for this job as you could also not quite learn how to do it right.Â
Should you perhaps change to newspapers after all? But the open positions were always so rare and you had wanted to start at your current magazine because it was the most famous in the countryâŚ
âWhere are you going after this?â
âIâm going to watch the race, Falcon against Antelope!â
âTheyâre set for tonight? I didnât know!â
âPscht, not so loud!â
Since you already lost focus and let other peopleâs voices into your mind, you could also pack your things and go home. You were already so done for the day.
âCan I come with you? Itâs been so long since the last time I went.â
âSure. Theyâll start at midnight, so we have to hurry.â
You zipped up your handbag and threw a few bills on the table, already with one arm up the sleeve of your jacket when you perked up your ears.
âFalcon will make a comeback, so tonight there will be a lot of cash flowing!â
âWow!â
You cleared up your throat and walked up to the two young women on the nearby table whose conversation you had been partially involuntarily listening to for the last minute. Despite your attention only shifting to them much later, you got the gist of the entire story.Â
It was about illegal street racing, you had read an article about it a few months ago in which the alias Falcon had also been mentioned along with another animal that you had forgotten.Â
The Falcon was only stuck in your mind, because there had been an accident caused by him, and ever since then, the police were paying even more attention to these kinds of illegal activities. The fact that there would be a race tonight must be a well hidden secret.Â
âExcuse me, I overheard youâre also going to watch the race?â you feigned knowledge and quickly made up a story that would get them to talk. âCan you tell me where exactly theyâll start? I was going to meet my friend here whoâs got all the info, but sheâs not arrived yet and Iâm afraid Iâm gonna be late.â
They looked at you in wonder, then in amazement. One of them, apparently the better informed one, then nodded eagerly before describing the exact spot to you. âI guess itâs going to be quite full since itâs the first one with Falcon since the⌠incident. So everyone wants to see him. Theyâll start at the industrial park at midnight.â
You nodded. âThank you. Maybe weâll see each other there.â You waited a bit until they had left the restaurant and then pondered whether to join or not.Â
There had already been many articles written about the Falcon and street racing in common, but since the most controversial racer would make a comeback, this race would be a special one, perhaps even kept secret to a point where no other media outlet knew about it. There was a slim chance that you were going to be the only reporter, so regardless of your current struggles, you had to take this opportunity.
Yes, an article about the Falconâs comeback was good, but that was by far not enough for the story of your lifetime. It was better than nothing though, a beginning. And who knew what could come out of it.Â
As a journalist, you had learned that you were better off going and had something expected to write about rather than not going and missing on unexpected happenings.
So you headed to the industrial park.
____
When you arrived at the destination, you spotted a crowd that had formed in a wide, clear space between two buildings. There were about fifty spectators that had gathered, divided into different groups of various sizes, lights coming from the street lamps all around the place.Â
Through the gaps between the cliques that all seemed too engaged with each other to notice how lost you were, you discovered a group of men that marked themselves off everyone else.
It wasnât particularly the way they were dressed as they all wore black leather, but rather the presence they radiated. But you couldnât deny the fact that all of them were equally overly handsome, just in a way you wouldnât be drawn to. You werenât intimidated, you were scared to the bones, and you immediately wanted to turn on your heels and run right back home.
You werenât much informed about the topic of illegal street racing aside from the few articles you had read. You only knew that it was one of the most dangerous underground activities that had cost a few lives already, of drivers and passerbyers almost equally. It was macabre that articles like these gained the most attention, clicks and sales.
Although you werenât quite passionate about this kind of topic let alone approved of it, it was the best that you could come up with for now. You wanted to prove to your editor-in-chief that you were willing to take risks, willing to leave your comfort zone for the job - even if this wasnât going to be the final story.
But now that you were right in the middle of this happening, you were getting cold feet. This wasnât right. If you were caught as a spectator, would the police detain you too? And would your boss truly bail you out?
âPlace your bet!â
You flinched when a young man popped up right next to you with a tablet in his hand, looking at you with expectant eyes.
âPardon?â
âPlace your bet!â he repeated. âFalcon against Antelope.â
âOh, I only came to watch,â you waved aside. âBut thank you!â
âYouâre here for the first time, am I right?â The guyâs eyes narrowed. âPlace. Your. Bet. This is how weâre financing this all. No money, no races.â
This wasnât a question anymore, this was a demand, and you figured that if you were going to remain undercover, you had to play along and pretend to be like everyone else, even though you didnât know the rules to this game. The guy was scanning you from head to toe, and it took you everything to restrain yourself from shaking when you took the tablet into your hands.Â
You had changed your mind entirely by now. You just wanted to be out of here as fast as possible, no matter what the editor-in-chief might say about this lost opportunity. It just wasnât worth all this stress and fear. After all, you were quite attached to your life and a clear criminal report. It wasnât that bad to be a goody two-shoes.
Still, you had to place a bet before you could vanish so that the guy would stop bothering you, so you scanned the display laying in your palms.
There were two columns, one belonged to the Falcon, the other to the Antelope. Each column was divided into different cells with the name and the amount of money one betted. No one had placed a single bet on the Falcon.Â
What was there to lose when the money would be gone from you one way or another since you were going to leave right after this anyway? You wouldnât win a single penny.
So you placed a fake name and 70.000 Won for the Falcon, which was ironically the lowest bid for the Antelope. You noticed that most of the other people had betted much more, making you wonder about the total amount the winner could collect. But 70.000 Won was already very much for you, so you stuck with that.
âThe Falcon, huh?â The guy grinned. âRisky, but I like the way you think. We only accept cash. Today itâs 20 million won so far for the winner, and ten percent of it gets split between the right betters depending on their bets. Maybe youâre lucky tonight and win ten percent of the entire amount yourself.â
You were holding yourself back letting out an audible gasp as it truly sounded tempting, and instead reached into your bag and pulled out your purse. 70.000 Won was a small price for your life, and you couldnât wait to finally leave and never turn back. How high were the chances the Falcon was going to win anyway when nobody believed he would?
The guy grinned when he collected your money. âInteresting. Itâs going to be an interesting race today. Good luck!â
He then went on to bother someone else all while you checked your surroundings for a hidden, but secure exit. Since you had used a fake name and only one person had seen your real face up close, it would be easy getting away unnoticed.Â
And you did.Â
Sliding along the buildings with your back pressed into the outer walls, nobody paid attention to you since the race was about to begin and a turmoil broke out shortly after your bet. You had been weighing yourself in safety, currently hiding in a blind, dark spot in the entrance of a different building with the street to freedom in sight when you suddenly heard male voices speaking up.
âReady, Jaehyun?â
âMore than you are.â
You froze on the spot when you saw several tall figures coming in your direction, their bodies illuminated by the street lamps, and you recognized the intimidating men dressed all in black leather who had been right in the middle of the crowd shortly before.Â
You couldnât go back or forth, because either side was illuminated and would set the spotlight right on you, and flight forward would mean running directly into their arms. You could only push the door to the building behind you open andâŚ
You found yourself standing in some kind of huge factory hall where only two cars were parked, the rest was entirely empty. Who in their right mind would rent a whole factory building for only two cars? Yes, they were expensive sports cars from what you could tell, the kind of ones that would catch everyoneâs attention on the streets because of how luxurious and tuned they were⌠but an entire hall?
You were still processing and connecting all of this new information when the same door through which you had entered got pushed open again, and in walked all men that you had run from shortly before.
Your heart suddenly lept, and you feared that this was what a heart attack might feel like, yet you were very much still alive as you were able to desperately look for a spot to hide again while they hadnât discovered your presence yet, but lingered by the entrance with the focus on two of them talking.
Out of reflex, as one of them turned into your direction, you fell to your knees and hid behind one of the cars - the matte black one -, suppressing a gasp the moment this exact car unlocked with a sound and flash from afar.
âIâm not afraid of you. I pity you.â
You needed a new spot to remain hidden with footsteps approaching this vehicle. Right now.
âAnd why would that be, Jaehyun?â
You had to think of something safe, but there was barely time anymore.
âBecause youâre going to lose the race today.â
No way in hell.
There was no way in hell these were the racing cars! But of course, now everything made sense as to why those cars were being kept here, you just had been in too much of a panic to have connected the dots.
How you found yourself inside that matte, black car at this moment of realization, you couldnât tell. Just like you couldnât tell how you could have hoped to get out of this situation unnoticed all while hiding in a crouching position in the backseat with the only way to escape being visibly passing by these men.
If only you had stayed behind the car or under the car if you were to be discovered anyway, you could have somehow talked yourself out of this situation. But how were you going to explain you had actually sneaked into a racing vehicle? Out of all the dumb things you had ever done, this made it to the top of your list.Â
You flinched and threw yourself down into the small legroom between the driverâs seat and backseat, when you heard the door in front of you open and a figure seated himself behind the steering wheel.
No way this was your situation now!
Everything was better than ending up inside one of these cars, hearing it start and rolling out of the hall.
This⌠this situation couldnât be real.
If you just stayed crouched in the legroom, not giving away a single tone or making a single move, maybe you still had a chance to survive this ride unnoticed. How you would handle this situation when you returned and had to reveal yourself if you didnât want to be locked inside that car until you died of thirst⌠that was something you didnât want to think about yet.
After a few feet, the car came to a stop in the clearing among the spectators, and you made yourself even smaller in case someone might want to get a look inside. By the way the crowd cheered and rejoiced, you hoped that the racer was the Antelope for god knows which reason. They were both racers with the intention to win by all means.
The noise got louder, went from muffled to clear, and you realized the driver had pulled down the window.
âEverything ready?â A male voice.
âIâm ready,â was the driverâs dry answer, a deep voice with a calming, soft undertone.Â
The engine was raving up, and you were tucked between the passengerâs seat and the backseat in a hole that was too tight, but because of that it was also the safest spot for the ride as there was no room to move anyway. Turning your head against the window at the opposite of you, you only saw light that flooded in and nothing else.
Dear god, you found yourself praying for the first time in your life, please let me live.
âJaehyun, do you hear me?â
You flinched when you heard another voice.
âClear and loud.â
âOnly ten seconds left.â
âOkay.â
Was he communicating through a two-way radio with someone? You hadnât expected this race to be so well-planned and coordinated. Was it always like this? This was an interesting and not widely known point. You only hoped your memory would keep all this information saved as you for sure wouldnât be able to take out your notebook and write everything down now.Â
This was the journalist inside you taking the upper hand again. If you were already in this situation, you were going to write the hell out of it. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity you would never get again, the exact situation your editor-in-chief had talked about.
This was going to be your headline story. You only hoped what he had promised was true and your company would really bail you out if it came down to this. Or pay for hospital bills. There was no way you would be able to leave unscathed, physically and emotionally.
âThree!â the crowd yelled that you could also hear in the car as though you were standing among them.
âTwo!â Your fingers gripped onto leather and something metallic, you couldnât really tell.Â
âOne!â You closed your eyes.
âGO!â
How equally unlucky and lucky you were to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or right place at the right time, it depended.
____
You were absolutely not safe in your hiding spot as expected. You got tossed and flung into every direction possible, and if it werenât for the narrow space in which you had tucked yourself in, you believed that you would have been hurled into the seat right next to the driver already.Â
But you were gripping hard onto the cushions like your life depended on it just to prevent this from happening as the car sped through the streets and took every curve with such a sharp edge, you were amazed the vehicle didnât drive on one side only by then. In your location, you werenât quite able to catch the carâs speed, but only guessed by the street lights flashing by in less than a single second, which was, in your non-existent experience, quite much.
While the driver was talking to the person at the other end of the radio who was giving him directions and tips, navigating him away from police controls and crowded locations, you started to feel a bit braver with no more sharp curve having come in miles anymore. Most likely, you were on the highway now.
So you slowly arose and got on your knees. Curiosity eventually had gotten the better of you, and you wondered what the world outside looked like. In the end, no matter how you would come out of this, you had to make sure it must have been all worth it.Â
You had to come to the conclusion that if you moved a bit higher to look out of the window, he might spot your head from his position if he looked in the rear window. With a muted curse, you crouched back down, but instantly got hit by another idea. Dragging the phone out of your handbag was quite an act when you barely couldnât move, but once you had managed to do so, you inwardly hyped yourself up.
You turned on the camera and pressed the record button, then imperceptibly motioned the phone over your head and let the upper part peek out of your lair with the camera facing out of the window. If he would look, then he would barely see anything, probably mistake the black edge of your phone for a shadow or a part of the carâs interior.
When suddenly a ringing tone broke through the silence inside the car though, you nearly let your device fall with a gasp. You thought you had the ringtone silenced for the entire day already, how was it possible?!
âHello,â the driver suddenly greeted, and only then it took a load off your mind. It wasnât your phone that had rung.
âJaehyun, when will you come home?â The female voice sounded playful, childish. A kid? Perhaps a teenager even?
âWhy are you still awake?â The driver named Jaehyun chided with feigned sternness, of whom you still didnât know what he looked like and whether he was the Falcon or the Antelope. âItâs past midnight and you have school tomorrow.â
âI was waiting for you to come home.â
âBut I wonât be home for another hour. Itâs going to be late tonight.â The driver sighed, and he sounded very regretful. âIâm sorry.â
âJaehyun, are you currently racing?â
Silence followed, and suddenly, you felt like you were going to overhear something no one else was supposed to eavesdrop. Like an intruder - which you technically and obviously were since this was obviously a conversation between two family members.Â
The driver repeated, âIâm sorry.â
âItâs okay, I wonât tell mom. Iâll tell her youâre studying in the library again.â
A yawn followed on the other side, and suddenly, you heard the driver snicker. Somehow, it didnât fit his attitude that you had gotten a glimpse at earlier. Even his responses to the person at the other side of the radio had always been short and curt. But to this young person, he was entirely different.
âI will wait for you. Mom said I shouldnât, but I cannot sleep if I donât know youâre home.â
âIâll come home safe.â
âPromise?â
âPromise, sis. I will always come home safe.â
Your arm that was holding the phone quietly slipped back into your lap, and you stayed silent for a very long time after they had hung up. This was so wrong. You had signed up for an adventure, not to listen to an intimate conversation between siblings that somehow also warmed your heart.Â
If you had learned anything from it, then it was that the driver was indeed a kind person deep within. It didnât matter what he did, for what he did it and who he was in the end, Antelope or Falcon. They were people with stories, and if you were the journalist you claimed to be, you needed to look at both sides of the coin and bring out everyoneâs own perception.
Wasnât this what your editor-in-chief wanted? A headline that didnât go âIllegal street racer makes a comeback! We are the first ones to interview himâ but rather âHe risked it all for his little sister, and now heâs back - read here about the tragic backstory of one of Seoulâs most dangerous men!â or something along these lines.
After you had gathered yourself again, you looked at your phone while the roads started to turn bumpier now. You assumed you had reached the outskirts and were hopefully on the way back to where it had all started. Gosh, you prayed for that, even though you hadnât come up with a plan to explain your situation at all yet.
The video on your phone showed you exactly what you had expected to see: nothing but a blur of whites and black. Great. It was useless. But what had you even expected?
âWe have a problem.â
You perked up your ears as you heard the other familiar voice through the radio.
âWhat is it?â the driver grumbled. âNot long and weâllâŚâ He paused, and even with the missing eye contact, you sensed how the mood had suddenly shifted. âI havenât seen him in a whileâŚâ
âExactly. There is an undercover police car underway, the informants have just told us, and itâll stop right where you have to pass through. The Antelope apparently knew about this and already took another route.â
Antelope?! You knew you didnât want to judge, but out of all possibilities which was 50/50, of course you would have ended up in the Falconâs aka Jaehyunâs car, the very same person you had mindlessly betted on. What were the odds?
The Falcon snorted. âNow, will you tell me he didnât set this up himself?â
âNo accusations now. Letâs think about whatâs best to do. Weâre currently in Gangdong-Gu, you somehow have to leave the highway.â
âThere is no possibility,â he growled back. âItâs a suburb, there is no way I can pass through it on time and unnoticed for me to win the race.â
âIâll navigate you the best I can.â
âDonât be ridiculous. The streets are so short and narrow, it will take too long and is too complicated.â
âYou canât get caught by the police, Jaehyun. And theyâre almost right in front of you. Itâs better to-â
âDonât!â he cut the person on the other end off. âI wonât give up. Not this time again. I need this win and money, you know that. Itâs my comeback and reputation that I have to restore.â
âBut what your family needs is you, more than money or your reputation.â
Silence. Your front teeth sank deep into your bottom lip as you were quarreling with yourself in silence. You knew what was right and what was wrong, what was legal and what was illegal, and what you were currently doing with the driver was far from being within the law as a matter of fact.Â
But his little sister wanted him to come home so that she could go to sleepâŚ
âHEY!â you screamed and suddenly appeared from behind his driverâs seat.
âWHAT THE FUCK?!â
The car swerved to the left, hurling you out of your lair and right into the edge of the backseat with a dull pain that shot from your stomach right into every limb. You gasped for air.
âWHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?â Despite you still not being able to face him, you got a glimpse of his face when you looked at it through the rear window. Clear anger and also shock was written all over it. You couldnât blame him. âANSWER TO ME NOW!â
âDonât⌠have time,â you breathed and rubbed your back, getting on your knees and slowly rising from your position. âGangdong-Gu⌠thatâs where I grew up. I know this place inside out. Iâll navigate you.â
âJaehyun, who is that with you in your car? Thatâs a rule violation!â
âI donât fucking know who this is!â he yelled again, but not as loud as before, and before he could react to your actions, you had already crawled over the expensive interior and settled yourself in the passengerâs seat. âWho are you?!â
With a click, you fastened the seatbelt and looked out of the window. You knew exactly where you were now. âTake the second exit from here. We will pass by within the next two minutes. You will have to drive through a part of the neighborhood to change highways, but youâll be fine at this hour. Once you have changed motorways, youâll even reach the destination quicker. Is that a rule violation too? Taking a shortcut through the suburbs?â
You tilted your head and met his flabbergasted expression as he was staring at you with equal intensity where also curiosity was mirrored. âUhm⌠usually we avoid that to not accidentally hurt any passerbyers. ButâŚâ
âItâs not a violation of the rules,â the person on the radio jumped in quickly. âItâs just unethical and something we would not like to risk.â
âOkay, thanks radio-guy.â
âWelcome, uhm⌠intruder-lady?â
âI did not intrude!â
âWell, how the fuck would you call this?â the Falcon interrupted.
âI donât have time to explain now.â Your arm shot up and you pointed at a sign. âTake this exit! Right now!â
From the corner of your eyes, you clearly saw him struggling whether to trust you or not. Fair enough. You were a stranger that had hidden in his car and were now only popping up when it was about winning or losing. If anything, you could have been smuggled in by the Antelopeâs team as well. No wonder he was doubting whether he could trust you.
âScrew it.â
You got thrown to the left when he suddenly swerved and left the highway according to your instruction. With your right hand, you grabbed the handle under the window for stability, once again questioning all your life choices. But you had thought long and clear about this. Having decided on helping him would result in the best outcome for your situation.
âThree rules,â he suddenly said when he drove into the neighborhood.
You shook off all your fears, speaking confidently, âIâm listening.âÂ
âFirst. No word to anyone about whatâs happening and what youâre doing right now. Nobody can know youâre in here.â
Why did he sound so intimidating? âGot it.â
âSecond, you will lead me through this neighborhood without any incidents. Slow, steady and clear, youâll be the navigator, the guy at the other side helps you from afar. One wrong turn, one accident or even the danger of one, and one late instruction, and Iâll kick you out of the car right there and then.â
No pressure, no pressure at all, you thought ironically to yourself. âGot it.â
âAnd third,â a voice on the radio chirped, âDonât forget to have fun!â
âShut up, Taeyong.â
âThird,â the Falcon repeated, âwhen weâre back at the venue, youâll stay hidden inside here until someone comes and gets you.â
What would happen after, you didnât dare to ask. Surely, they wouldnât get rid of you⌠right? Either way, your fate had been sealed the moment you decided to come watch the race, so you gulped silently and gave a final nod.
The car came to a halt in front of a very familiar street. Everything was dark, empty and quiet. You took a deep breather and the Falconâs head snapped in your direction. When you faced each other the next moment, you took a spare second to study his face.
If he werenât in a racing car, you could imagine him very well sitting in a cafĂŠ, sipping coffee and typing something into his laptop, maybe even wearing glasses and ordinary street clothes, possibly even joggers.Â
He was just a normal dude under all these leather clothes that made him appear very tough, emphasized by this constant scowl on his face that was - admittedly - very handsome. After years in your field of expertise, you could read people very well and only seldomly were you wrong.
âReady?â he asked, not breaking eye contact.
Neither did you. âReady.â
The adrenaline flushed through your veins the moment he hit the gas pedal.
____
âDidnât you sleep much last night?â your co-worker asked when you yawned for the nth time that morning.
What were you supposed to answer?Â
âI only got home at 4am last night, because I was street racing?â
So instead, you said, âI just couldnât fall asleep, donât worry.â
Nobody would believe you. And yet, these were the stories that everyone sought after. But only one ride was not resourceful enough and didn't contain enough substance for a decent plot. You needed the people behind it, the backgrounds and the experiences.Â
But after you had gotten out of the car, these people have made it very clear to you that you shouldnât appear in a race ever again, not even as a spectator, and that your lips needed to be sealed for eternity. The fact that they had let you go without any consequences was only out of mercy because you had contributed to the victory - with a violation of rules though.Â
You had learned pretty quickly though that most of the time, they ignored these rules as long as nobody got hurt as physical incidents that included innocents were the highest breach of violation - just like the Antelope who had apparently cheated like the Falcon had assumed. But since nobody got proof, there hadnât been more consequences than a few verbal attacks. As long as nobody had seen you inside the car and could prove it somehow, you were fine.Â
The only person that had thanked and had been nice to you was the Falconâs navigator, Taeyong. He had even looked very sorry for what you had been through when he had opened the door to the car and you stepped out of the hideout between the backseat and passengerâs seat with shaking legs.
The Falcon hadnât even looked at you twice when you walked out of the building - with all the money. Yes, surprisingly, they had still given you ten percent of the prize money. It was all rightfully yours since you had been the only one betting on the Falcon. Your bet had been officially registered and you had won, so it was fair and according to the rules that you would get what you earned, Taeyong had explained.Â
Deep down, you sensed that he only didnât want to admit they wouldnât have won without you, and this was them paying off their debt. After all, you hadnât given out your real name, so they could have just said the betting person vanished. But you didnât push the topic and saw it as hush money that you luckily needed anyway, and accepted it. Racers had a very high sense of ethics, you had learned by now. A thank you from the Falcon wouldnât have hurt though. But instead, he had said you should never appear in front of his eyes ever again. What a rude man.
âOkay,â your co-worker said, âshall we go through the index for the next issue and compare the page numbers? Two pairs of eyes work better than just one.â
âSure! Let me get the notes about what the editor-in-chief said. There were some important points he mentioned that had changedâŚâ
You reached into your handbag to look for your notebook when at that moment, the telephone on your desk rang and showed the lobbyâs shortcut number.
âThere is someone waiting here for you, miss.â
âAlright, Iâll come downstairs.â
You wondered whether you had actually missed a meeting or an interview that you had set up for a story, but nothing actually came into your mind when you took the elevator and rode downstairs to the lobby.Â
At the front desk, you asked the lady where your visitor was waiting since you hadnât spotted a familiar face as you passed by the waiting area. When she pointed at a figure sitting on the couch, slumped on the cushion, you needed to blink twice to match the face with your memories.
âYou?!â you then called out when you stood in front of the young man.
He wore a snapback, glasses, joggers and a loose long sleeve. Between his lips, he carried a white stick, and you already wanted to call him out that smoking was not allowed in here when you realized that the stick was too thin to be a cigarette. It turned out to actually be a lollipop. When your gaze fell to his feet, you were able to count every single naked toe as he wore slippers. You were right. He normally didnât look like this nighttime-self at all. During the daytime, he was just a normal guy who appeared to have just gotten out of bed.
When the Falcon arose from his seat, he didnât even greet you. Instead, he took the lollipop out of his mouth, round and red, and just thrusted a notebook into your hands. Your notebook - the one you had wanted to fetch from your handbag earlier and which you needed for the meeting with your editor-in-chief later. You had been so sure that it was in your handbag this entire time!
âThis was still in the backseat of my car. Take better care of your belongings. And donât put your business cards everywhere. Itâs not everyoneâs business where you work or what your contact information is.â He then shrugged, made the lollipop disappear between his lips again and turned aside to walk past you, but you held him back by his arm.Â
âWait!â
Slowly, he shifted his head back to you and asked lazily, but clearly despite the sweet in his mouth, âWhat is it now?âÂ
He shook your grip off, but you just bluntly asked the question that had been on your mind this entire morning, âLet me ride with you one more time, please?â
He drew his brows together as if you had just asked the dumbest thing a woman your age could ask a man. And apparently, judging by his answer, you had done exactly that.Â
âAre you nuts?â
âYou see, Iâm a journa-â
âYou people really think youâre superior,â he scowled, and you were taken aback. âMaking money off of peopleâs personal stories, arenât you guys embarrassed? I shouldnât have returned your notebook at all. Youâre all just selfish bastards.â
With a lowly look at you, the Falcon put more distance between you two, and although you were frozen on the spot and dumbfounded at first, you didnât want to let him leave like this. Clearly, he had a prejudice about you journalists that you had to resolve.Â
âIâm not one of those journalists that make money off other people!â you told him when you had caught up with him, but by then you were already outside on the streets. âI tell real, verified stories, and only what people allow me to write! Only the truth!â He didnât reply, but just continued walking, and you decided to follow him. âIâve never lied or done anything without consent to write my stories. And that is what my editor-in-chief is always criticizing since this apparently holds me back from getting a promotion. In his eyes, Iâm a goody two-shoes who doesnât take any risks. But the truth is⌠I canât do that, Iâm fine that way! I want to tell the stories with people, I donât want to tell stories against people! And I think you guysâ story is one very worth telling!â
Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks and you nearly ran into him from behind. One a few inches separated you from each other when he turned around to you and dropped his head to lock gazes with you. âI donât think what happened yesterday with you breaking into my car was something a goody two-shoes would actually do, but a ruthless journalist.â
You let out a desperate cry. âI told you over and over again, I just wanted to watch the race, then changed my mind and wanted to go home when you guys appeared, and then I panicked! That wasnât planned, and regarding how close I was to dying, I would choose to not do that again. Which is why Iâm asking you formally for permission.â
The Falcon remained silent and inwardly, you raised your hopes up. If you could tell a great story in cooperation with him under an alias and his other friends, that would definitely secure your promotion.Â
âNo.â
Then, he continued his way.
âBut why?â You quickly caught up to him again. âI wouldnât tell you guysâ real names and only write what you want to have written.â
âI donât have a story to tell except that we like racing.â
âBut there must already be a story to that, right?â you tried again, keeping up with his steps this time. âWhy did you start? How did you start? How did you learn all this, how do you feel when youâre in the car, how does this whole teamwork function, do your other friends and family know and what do they think about it⌠I have so many questions!â
âNo word about my family,â he interrupted you, the candy now in his hand to speak more insistently, and it didnât sound like a warning at this point, it sounded more like a threat. âWhatever you heard in the car, you better forget about it.â
A soft spot - you had already discovered that. It was none of your business if he didnât want to let you in as a stranger, but you also couldnât stop wondering. âI already got that memo yesterday. But-â
Again, he cut you off. âGreat. And if I still catch you publishing an article on what happened yesterday or what you eavesdropped⌠well, I know where you work and live thanks to your negligence. Goodbye.â
He put the lollipop back into his mouth and disappeared in the crowd. You were tired of chasing after him again, and truth to be told, you could understand his point. Taking a deep breath in, you settled with the fact that you had to change your topic, the promotion gone from your sight again.
Of course you could have written the article without any additional info or the reveal that you were in the car yourself, but then it would only be that, an article. But you wanted a story.
_____
You were scrolling through the internet, looking for new jobs.
You figured that if you were to stick with your old position, you could as well try your luck somewhere else. Perhaps, there were open positions on the same level as your missed promotion for which you could prove that you were qualified or that didnât require you to do illegal and unethical things.
There were only two days left until you had to hand in your proposal for the story that would cover the next issue, and you still hadnât come up with something else.Â
By now, you could also pack your things and leave the city since living in the countryside didnât sound so bad after all. Sitting by the window all day, watching nature? A dream. But you had chosen to return and to stay in the capital on purpose, a quiet, secluded life didnât suit your current ideals. You were a writer after all, always seeking for new stories to tell, and you believed Seoul told endless ones.
The ringing doorbell had you spin around on your chair. Your room was small, but it offered enough space for all necessities that only one person needed, which was why you rarely had visitors. And as far as you remembered, you hadnât invited anyone over.
âWho is there?â you asked carefully as you approached the door.
âItâs me.â
You furrowed. âWho?â
âMe.â Pause. âJaehyun.â
The Falcon. Lollipop-dude. What could he possibly want after your last argument?
You opened the door, and there he stood in front of you, hair slicked back and donned all in black leather - a stark contrast to a few days ago, safe from the lollipop spinning in his mouth.Â
He peeked through the halfway opened door. âItâs tiny in here.â
You snapped, âWell, nobody asked you to come.â
âCan I come in anyway? We need to talk.â
âI didnât write anything!â
He rolled his eyes as you opened the door. âI know, thatâs not why I came here.â
You closed the entrance door behind you and watched him standing in your room, a bit too big for your furniture, and also a bit lost in this environment. You struggled biting down a snicker, because this picture was just so surreal.
âWhat is it?â he grumbled.
You folded your arms in front of your chest and shrugged. âNothing. So tell me, what do you want from me that even made you come to my home?â
The Falcon turned around to your desk and stretched out his arm, taking something into his hand that must be your notebook he had returned to you. Holding it up, he showed it to you with his back still facing you and asked, âYou still want to write this story of yours?â
Perplexed, you could only nod, but as you realized he couldnât witness your confirmation, you quickly agreed vocally, âYes! Yes, of course!âÂ
âThree rules,â he then started before slowly shifting back into your sight, the lollipop still in his mouth, and you noted that everything for him came with terms and conditions. How exhausting, three rules again. âYou wonât use anyoneâs real names. You will only write what I allow you to write. You wonât mention my family or my background. I am allowed to read the entire thing before you publish it.â
âThose are four rules tho,â you remarked, and his eyes narrowed.Â
The lollipop stopped spinning in his mouth. âIâm outta here.â
âI agree, I agree!â you corrected yourself. âI agree with all the rules!â
âFine.â He handed you over your notebook. âNow get dressed, weâre going racing. I hope you have black clothes and a leather jacket, because thisâŚâ He pointed at your light pink pajamas in which you had changed into as soon as you came home, âis not it.â
Your eyes widened. âNow?â
âNow,â he repeated.
You hesitated.
âYour last chance,â he pushed.
âIâll get changed.â
____
âI thought I was going to be in the car.â
âDidnât Jaehyun tell you?â Taeyong asked with a cocked brow.
âTell me what?â
âThat guyâŚâ He touched his forehead and pointed at the seat next to him, urging you to sit down in front of the three monitors standing on the desk. âWe need you to navigate.â
âNavigate what?â
âWhat did you two talk about on your ride here?â
You heaved up your shoulders and let them down again. âActually nothing.â
The ride in the Falconâs car to this suburb had been quiet with him focusing on driving and you concentrating on what you could make this story revolve around. No, you had barely talked and had each lived in their own mind.
âYouâre going to navigate the race. Basically be his co-driver, but from here, not from inside the car like last time,â Taeyong explained thoughtfully with a smile. âBasically, youâll do my job, Iâll only be your co-navigator and the teamâs manager fully again.â
âNavigator? Eh? I thought I was only going to stay here, writing. Maybe even get the chance to be inside the car again, but since itâs against the official rules, I didnât even think of that.â
âWait, he really didnât tell you anything?â You were both equally confused.
âSo Iâm not just⌠observing?â
âAbsolutely not.â Taeyong determinedly shook his head. âTo be part of the team means to contribute something, and for you to write this story about us, you will also have to do your part. Actually, no outsider is allowed to be with the team during the race, because the risk of cheating and manipulation is too high, so this was the only option. Jaehyun has already fallen out of grace, we cannot allow something negative to be associated with him again when his reputation is just getting repaired.â
You wanted to know why the Falcon had fallen out of grace in the first place, but you came to the conclusion that it was not your time to ask just yet.Â
âAnd why me then? Arenât you guys enough?â You tried to conceal your rising panic. âI can just sit here and write if Iâm not allowed inside the car. Maybe do some cleaning of the vehicle before you start or do some promotion work. Something I can actually do. Nobody will notice I donât have a fixed role in the team. Besides, I donât even know how to navigate.â
Taeyong tilted his head, his smile growing wider. âBut youâve done an exceptionally good job last time. It doesnât matter who navigates, the person just has to be good.â
You felt your cheeks getting warm by this compliment. âI barely did anythingâŚâ
âAnd yet, it was enough for him to win after such a long time and have people start betting on him again. He really needs the money, so you better help him win as many races as possible in return for getting a good story.â
Why did it sound like a threat despite his sweet smile?Â
You sighed. âWhat do I have to do?â
âTake this.âÂ
Taeyong handed you a headset and instructed you to wear it which would connect your voice to the radio in Jaehyunâs car. Through the first monitor, you had the dashcamâs point of view, which gave you the feeling of being directly in the passengerâs seat, that was not bad. The second monitor showed the carâs location in the city with all streets and buildings through a GPS while the third showed another map but with different red dots spread across the screen.
âThose are police stations and control points.â Taeyong let the tip of his index finger glide over the screen. â... of the ones we know. Spotting cars following Jaehyun as well as unplanned control points popping up will be another challenge. And these devices are police scanners. As you can guess from the name aloneâŚâ
At first, you had been excited, but as you got everything explained and shown, it dawned on you how close the driver and the navigator actually had to work, and that the driver had to trust the navigator literally with his life. You didnât feel very comfortable with that much responsibility weighing on your shoulders. What if something went wrong and he got caught by the police? Would you land in jail then too?Â
âToday, itâs going to be a cannonball run with two others, meaning Jaehyun will start here, but finish at the other side of the city where most of the spectators are waiting. Thatâs why there is barely anyone here right now. Of course they want to see the winner. As opposed to last timeâs run, this is about time rather than bringing as much distance between the cars as possible. And you know how much the sum is that you can win?â Taeyongâs sweet smile got replaced by a wicked grin. â40 million won.â
âI canât do this, Iâm sorry!â
You jumped out of your seat and ran towards the door, opening it up. The starting point was somewhere in the suburbs where you had never been before, but you didnât care as you pulled out your phone once you inhaled fresh air that filled your heated lungs, ready to call a taxi.
âHey, what do you think youâre doing?â
A huge figure blocked your way, and it only took you one look to first smell his lollipop, then recognize him. Damn, did he ever finish that sweet or did he have an entire stash in his pockets?
âIâm going home!â
âAnd why would you do that?â
âBecause you lied to me! I canât do this!â
Instead of talking you out of it, the Falcon raised his brows, then laughed, revealing his teeth between the red lollipop. âI knew it. Once a chickenshit, always a chickenshit.â
âA what?!â Your mouth stood agape, wondering whether you had heard right. âHow can you say that?â
âIâm only speaking the truth. The first time, you also wanted to escape had it not been for us coming in your direction and forcing you to get into the car, right?â
You faltered. âHm⌠okay, yes⌠butâŚâ
He tilted his head and shrugged. âYou dream about big stories, but this is what they will always stay for you: a dream. And you know why?â The Falcon leaned in, and you felt the sudden urge to withdraw, but you were completely petrified. âBecause you donât have the courage and the will to actually make your dreams come true. You're a big talker, a dreamer to put it nicely, but youâre not a doer, someone who gets shit done. I, in comparison, get shit done. And this is why I'm doing what Iâm doing and youâre only watching from the sidelines, not being able to type down this story of yours like the goody two-shoes you are. Ever thought about the fact that you wonât get this promotion because you donât deserve it?â
You werenât aware that you had been holding your breath the entire time. Only when he approached you further and whispered in your ear, âNow go home, we donât need someone like you here, we can do it without youâ, you were able to exhale again, blood irregularly pumping through your veins while you clenched your fists.
With a fierce gaze thrown at him, you spun around on your heel, opened the door to the hall and yelled, âTaeyong, give me the headset and tell me what to do. For this round, I feel more comfortable with you next to me.â You threw one last look behind you at Jaehyun before you continued, âAnd next time, Iâll do it all myself.â
The door fell shut behind you, but you could have sworn that you saw the Falcon smiling.Â
This time though, genuinely. And perhaps partly relieved.
____
You were still shaking when you found yourself sitting in the Falconâs car again, heading home in the middle of the night after your first race as a co-navigator. The other team members had brought you to the finish line in their car with them to celebrate, but there was not much reason for you to do so as of now. The shock was still sitting deeply with you.
âEverything okay?â the Falcon asked, but it still sounded like coming from another planet as your ears were ringing. âWhat are you even upset about? We won.â
âWhat Iâm upset about?â you called out. âThere could have been so many instances that could have gone totally wrong!â
âBut nothing went wrong. Why are you always such a scaredy cat?â You didnât look at him but straight out of the window. His eye roll was very visible in front of you though. âJust calm down, itâs irritating me.â
âI know everything ended well, but just imagine if a police car had suddenly pulled up. Or if someone had crossed the streets. Inside the car, it was exciting, but as an official navigator, you have so much responsibilityâŚâ
âJust enjoy the victory and the amount of money weâre going to share with you. Isnât that what you wanted?â He murmured something about goody two-shoes again, but by now you were good at ignoring that. âGeez, did you ever have one single day in your life that you could freely enjoy without having a stick so far up your ass? Your poor boyfriend.â
It was the most nonchalant way in which you had ever witnessed the Falcon talk, even though he had mostly said nonsense.Â
âI donât have a boyfriend.â
âYeah, I wonder why.â
You gasped. âExcu-â
The next moment, you tasted something sweet on your tongue. âClose your mouth and suck.â
Instinctively, you did as you had been told as you didnât know how else to react. The Falcon kept driving the car through the city with his eyes fixated on the road in front of him as though he hadnât just pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and nearly shoved it straight down your throat.
âSugar helps me calm down and the motions I need to make distract me from unwanted thoughts,â he admitted, and his voice suddenly sounded so vulnerable that you didnât dare to respond. âI think you need that now too.â
You slumped back into your seat, suddenly very quiet. You tried not to think much about the fact that his saliva was now in your mouth too, and that you didnât feel repulsed at the thought at all. He had been right after all. Your hands were not shaking anymore.
âThe fact that I participate in those races is because I need the money,â he continued and you somehow sensed that he was currently glad that you werenât able to look him straight in the face in case you caught his true emotions mirrored there. âAnd I wanted you to be my navigator, because you had done a very good job the first time around. During the races, you appear to be panicked and disheveled, but you are actually calm and collected, always knowing what youâre doing and never doubting yourself. From the first moment on, I saw much potential in you, and I needed someone like that to strengthen my team.â
â... to win the races,â you finished what he probably thought to himself in silence.
âExactly.â
âSo to you, itâs all about winning?â Your mouth tasted sweet with each syllable, and only now you recognized which flavor that was: cherry. âYou wanted me in your team, because you assumed I could contribute to your series of wins?â
âThatâs my only life goal. Winning as many games as possible for the money.â
You didnât know why his answer bothered you. Werenât you also only on board because you needed to write about this experience to ensure you climb the ladder of success which would eventually also result in money and fame? You werenât much different from each other. He probably was only a bit more reckless in money making than you.
âI understand,â you agreed when it eventually clicked. He was trying to fool you again, so you corrected yourself, âNo, I donât understand. The way you spoke to your sister⌠itâs not only about money for you.â
The Falcon scoffed. âWhy do you feel the need to peg me as some kind of deep character? Because I donât fit the narrative of your story?â
This stung. Most likely because he was right. People wanted to read about deep characters, if not about a hero, then about an antagonist who told them how he had become an antagonist. But nobody wanted to read about a greedy, selfish person.
âSo the main character of my story is only after money,â you concluded dryly.
âYes, this is something you can mention in your story. The person you write about is a selfish jerk who only thinks about money.â He let out a laugh, but it rather sounded rather bitter than genuine. âI know itâs not that very deep of a story, but never told you that what you would get was interesting.â
The lollipop clicked against your teeth as you replied, âNo worries. Iâm a professional.â
He wanted to make himself fit his very own narrative, and you needed him to fit your own narrative. Right now, there was no character to your story.
At home, despite the ungodly hour and your clash of interests, you typed down a summary of your story and handed it in the very next day, even before the deadline. This would be your story, one way or another. You were going to make the best out of it, with the Falconâs cooperation or without.
____
âHe is very popular,â you remarked.
âOh, he sure is.â Taeyong thrusted a drink into your hand. âHe just doesnât like this attention at all.â
You watched the Falcon getting approached by both men and women who were desperate to talk to him while you watched with your new team from the sidelines. After another race together that the Falcon had won, Taeyong had invited you to something like an after party in some other team memberâs big house. You had to work the next morning and didnât want to stay long, but you supposed you had to do it for the experience and more substance for your article. The more you had to write about, the better.
âCan you imagine that only a few months ago, it was entirely different? Everybody hated him.â
âHm?â You snapped your head to Taeyong. âBecause of the accident he was involved in?â
The look in his eyes was impenetrable, but it softened when he watched his friend. âYes, but the details to that⌠Iâm sure heâll tell you himself when he feels the time is right.â
Admittedly, you knew quite a bit already by just going around and talking to people, you were just keeping it a secret since you didnât want to come off to the team as too nosy or pushy. But none of the spectators you had come to have a short conversation with knew exactly what kind of accident that had been. You had tried really hard to gather all the information, but they just differed too much from each other.
When one assumed the Falcon had hit someone with his car and drove away, the second guessed he had run into someone, but brought them to the hospital. And the third option, and that was the worst, those people believed he had killed someone in that accident. The newspapers that had reported on this case hadnât mentioned anything more. Just the fact that the Falcon had caused an accident in a suburb that involved an innocent passerby. And that was still enough to fall out of grace in this community, that was how high their ethical standards were.
You wondered why, with such an incident happening that involved all kinds of trope that would make people drawn to it, there hadnât been any follow-up reports by newspapers and magazines.
Taeyong had once let slip that Jaehyun had only been able to make a comeback after this incident because he had challenged the Cheetah. Apparently, nobody ever did that. And now you were even more curious about the Cheetah, the Falconâs biggest opponent.Â
From what you had heard, officially and unofficially, he won all the races and was nearly untouchable. He only challenged someone just to show off how remarkable he was, but nobody ever challenged him. That was an unspoken rule - except for when you wanted to set yourself up for humiliation. And the Falcon had done exactly that.
You looked at your team which was already top notch with a driver who was nearly impeccable. You couldnât imagine a team that was better. Apart from the one you worked the closest with, Taeyong, there was Johnny, the mechanic, and the one which they call the investigator, though you just believed that he was a hacker in reality - Yuta.Â
You had seen and worked with them before all the time, but getting to know them privately in peace made you realize one thing: These were all just normal guys who knew each other from university with a not so legal side hustle. They were splitting the winnerâs entire sum equally among all of them, and even if they didnât want that much as the Falcon was the one driving and inheriting the most dangerous part, the latter always insisted on it, claiming they werenât a work environment, but friends.Â
The fact that you were now a part of this close knit group, made you feel a bit awkward as you didnât know them that well yet, but the other fact that they had welcomed you with open arms, safe from the Falcon so far though, and already saw you as one of them, warmed your heart.Â
Even though the money had sounded very tempting as well and you surely always got your fair share of the work that paid more than a few bills, you were surprised how little it meant to you in the end. You couldnât really pinpoint it. The races with the team⌠the preparation, the process, the talks in between, the shared laughter, the banter⌠you enjoyed this way much more than holding the money in your hands by the next day. It meant so less when everything else hoarded a much bigger feeling that was still so unfamiliar to you, but very overwhelming.Â
âAh, there he is,â Johnny whispered to you and pointed at a tall guy, surrounded by other young men and a woman. âThe Cheetah and his team.â
âThatâs the Cheetah?â you asked. âThe one heâs challenged?â
âThe best racer out there and someone Jaehyun could never beat, someone no one usually challenges and beats.â There it was. Now, you didnât need to feign lack of knowledge anymore. âHopefully, until now. Itâs about a lot of money and the people are already anticipating it. Itâs gonna be the race of the year. Maybe, Jaehyun will take his crown.â
You hadnât known it was going to be this big and anticipated. Now, you also understood why people had welcomed the Falcon back despite whatever everyone imagined the accident to have involved. The best and most popular racer against the underdog who had fallen deep, wanting to rise again? That surely made a headline.
âThe woman in that team, is she also a navigator?â
âYes.â Taeyong nodded. âWomen are mostly navigators, there rarely are female racers. As of today, I only know of two who are still active. But itâs really hard to recruit women for your team, no matter which position.â
âBecause the job is illegal and hard?â
He nodded again. âWomen usually donât want to be involved in illegal activities.â
â... I can relate.â
All eyes now landed on you and you shrugged. âI just really need this promotion, you know that, guys. Just once in life, I want to be fortunate and successful.â
You were glad you could be totally open with them and not get judged, because you all were here for the same reason. This illegal sport benefitted all of you in some way.
âJust like I need money to finance my studies,â Taeyong said.Â
And Yuta added, âI really want to found my own company in the future.â
âAnd one day, I really want to move back to the US,â Johnny finished.
You were only people with dreams and ambitions. If you did things like these with all the precautions and didnât hurt anyone, no matter how selfish or selfless, then was it really wrong to chase after your longings? You still gave the Falcon the benefit of doubt over the incident. Your team was fair and good, you wanted to believe so hard in every single one of them.
Knowing his friends and what they did for each other, you now were a hundred percent sure that there was a deep reason the Falcon always put his life on line too, and that he wasnât as reckless and as money-hungry as he had first made himself out to be. None of them were.
Taeyong studied to help out his family, because his father couldnât work anymore. Yuta wanted to open up a company, because his family got robbed of theirs. Johnny wanted to go back to the US to take care of his mom.
âI first thought it all boiled down to money, that glued you together,â you thought out loud. âBut I was so wrong.â
It was way more than about money. It was about friendship, family and dreams. Of some things, you had only ever heard of and never experienced yourself - and most likely never would. And as this thought settled, you realized that you were the one doing all this solely for fame. You were the selfish, money-fixated person in this group. You were the one wrong here.
âIt all comes down to trust in the end,â Johnny complemented. âWithout a tight-knit team that doesnât trust each other, you cannot make it.â
âBut why me?â You frowned. âI didnât do anything to earn your trust. Iâm just here, because you caught me.â
âOh, but you did win our trust!â Taeyong then objected and Johnny and Yuta nodded along. âWith the way you helped Jaehyun when you were stuck in his car, that was the first race he had won after a long while and which has restored his reputation. You didnât help him because of the money, I heard the entire thing.â
They trusted you? Why was your chest grabbed by a feeling so overwhelming like it was going to explode at any moment? Perhaps, at this point, you could imagine being friends with them too eventually⌠if they wanted to still have someone as selfish as you around.
âI didnât want to see him lose,â you reluctantly answered. âAt that moment, I didnât think about a story. I just cared for his sister⌠and for him.â
Because you never had had the experience of being in a real family, you wanted to protect everyone that still had one. You remembered the phone call the Falcon had made, that he had promised to always come back to her. Basically, you still knew nothing about him, but what you knew was that he was way more than he made himself out to be.Â
You didnât need to invent a story about him to fit your narrative. He had fitted it all along. You saw it clearly now.
âOkay, enough with the long faces, guys!â
Johnny threw his arms around all of you and huddled you all together.
âYouâre suffocating me,â Yuta complained, though the playfulness clearly stood out in his voice.
âPeople are looking,â Taeyong worried, but you couldnât help but to chuckle.
âSo what?â Johnny let you all go again and shrugged. âHow about a round of drinks for us? I think we all need it now.â
âIâll get the drinks.â
You all shifted your head in unison and saw the Falcon having moved to your group, no sign of other people anymore, although you could have sworn he was swarmed by them only a few minutes ago.
âWhat about your fans?â you wanted to know from him and joked, âThey all got an autograph already?â
His reply was dry with a gaze just as similar, âI told them to leave me alone.â
âJeez, Jaehyun,â Taeyong complained, âwith a behavior like this, no one is going to bet on you in the future.â
âThey shouldnât bet on whoâs the nicest anyway.â
Yes, the Falcon wouldnât be the winner of a be-nice-award. But when he volunteered to get the drinks and naturally included you, you figured that he didnât need to voice his kindness. He rather showed it.
____
âWhy will you drive me home? Didnât you drink?â
âBecause itâs late and dark, and I need to go home too. And of course I didnât drink alcoholic beverages this entire time, are you nuts? Now, get in.â
You looked out of the passengerâs seatâs window when the car started rolling, lights flashing by in a blur as you drove through the streets at a normal speed, and yawned. âThe party was just getting to be fun, you didnât have to leave with me.â
âJust take this free ride, will you?â
âOkay.â
You listened to the Falconâs lollipop clicking against his teeth when he moved it in his mouth and you yawned again.Â
âI spotted the Cheetah earlier tonight,â you said. âWhatâs the deal with this big race thatâs coming up?â
âSo the guys told you, hm.â The movements of the lollipop stick stopped. âOur history runs deep. To sum it up quickly: I can win against anyone, but never against him. I need to break this curse.â
âI get it,â you declared and leaned back in your seat. âYou never beat him, so the rage waves just get stacked on top of each other, and the more races you lose, the more you want to win. Just like we journalists fight to have our stories be headliners every month and there is always this one person who snatches them the majority of the time.â
The Falcon sighed. âA weird and out of place comparison, but I guess youâre not entirely wrong.â
You seamlessly continued, âWhen was your first race against him?â
âI guess when I turned 21. Thatâs when I started racing.â
âWow, so many years and no win against him? It must be frustrating.â
âYeah, just rub more salt into the wound,â he muttered, a bit offended, âbut as I said, this is going to end in a few weeks. He wonât be Kind of the Streets anymore. It will be me who will take the crown.â
âKing of the Streets?â You asked. âIs that the official title?â
âJust a label we throw around in the community every now and then, but nobody gets literally crowned, if you know what I mean. Heâs just been inheriting this title forever, and Iâm sick of it.â
âDid you only start because you wanted to win the title?â
âWhat? Of course not! I started because my fa-â He stopped. âHey, I know what youâre doing!â
You giggled. âDonât worry. I didnât ask you as a journalist, I ask you as your teammate, your navigator. We have made rules and I will stick to them. Is it too much to ask for, getting to know you? We spend so much time with each other, we trust each other, donât we?â
He became silent. You got him. âI guess so.â
This reply surprised you very much as you hadnât expected it. But you regained your composure very quickly despite the feeling still lingering in your chest. âHow many siblings do you have... Jaehyun?â
It was the first time that you vocally said and thought about his real name. You had been avoiding it, but you couldnât keep calling him the Falcon. He was human too, although he would remain anonymous in your story.
Jeahyun paused, but eventually replied, âYou already know of my younger sister. Sheâs the only one. I live with her and my mom.â
âHow old is your sister?â
âSheâs fourteen.â
âSo, in middle school.â
âExactly.â
Where was his father that he had nearly mentioned? You wanted to ask this and much more, but the way his voice had changed by the end, you knew that this was it for today. And it was okay. He should only share what he felt like sharing. Instead, you decided to tell him more about yourself.
âI live alone. My parents divorced when I was a little child, and since my mom moved abroad with a new man directly after, I stayed with my dad. But he was addicted to booze. I had to grow up fast, because whatever role a parent usually played, he wasnât in the position to take over it. One day, when I was the same age as your sister, he didnât come home.â
Jaehyun breathed in deeply, and you sensed that he was about to drop a comment, but held himself back from doing so at the last second. You were unsure whether this was a sign to continue or not, but you did anyway.
âHe got caught in a hit and run accident. He was the driver. Despite me telling him every day to cut out on the booze or at least never get into the car with alcohol in his system, he always did. And on that fateful day, he took an entire family with him.â
Having this story sealed in your heart for such a long time, you didnât expect the syllables to fall from your lips so smoothly as though you were retelling someone elseâs past and not your personal one. After all these years, you felt nothing anymore.
âYour question from before we got into the carâŚâ Jaehyun started, but refrained himself from ending the sentence.
âIf you had drunk something, I wouldnât have gotten in the car with you. And If you had drunk something during a race, I would have quit right away.â You smiled mildly. âIâm relieved your addiction is lollipops.â
âWhy had you agreed on being my navigator?â was Jaehyunâs next question. âYou should resent people like me.â
âI canât resent the world just because I resent my father. I want you to always come home to your sister like you promised her.â
He fell into silence. Perhaps, you had crossed a line, perhaps not. But you wanted him to know that you cared. You collected stories every day from different people and they all affected you, every single fate, more or less. But for him, you didn't care like a journalist for a subject. You cared like a friend.
âI want that too,â Jaehyun eventually responded. âAlways coming back home to her.â
You smiled. âThen letâs work together well.â
____
With every race, you got calmer and more professional, and even though you had lost two races so far - as constant wins were an exception anyway except for when you were called the Cheetah - Jaehyun won with you, his team, almost all races, and he rose to the top again, shining as the Falcon in all his glory.
You still werenât able to shake off your nervousness and slight panic entirely, but you got better in managing those feelings and most importantly, you didn't let it seep through the headset for Jaehyun to feel.
Through the next races, your connection only got stronger as you figured out a way to work silently and peacefully with each other. You even bonded over unfunny jokes and small conversations you held in the car when he drove you home, which he always insisted on - most likely because you were a woman and it was usually the middle of the night.
Jaehyunâs car was his safe space, because he knew whatever you talked about, even though most of the time it wasnât even something important, it would never leave his vehicle without his permission.
âI never drink alcohol,â he suddenly told you on one of these rides home when you both got out of the car as you had decided to make a short stopover. âI never know when my sister or mom will need me since my father is not here anymore.â
It was the first time in a long while you talked about something other than the races, teams, your job and other trivial things. You had rarely talked about his personal topics ever since that one time. You were happy to hear that you finally reached this point again, and the conversation was even opened up by him.
Jaehyun seated himself on the carâs hood and you carefully crawled up to him. He made space for you and reached out his hand when you teetered, securing you while you settled right next to him. After having taken your place, you followed his gaze and encountered a view that you hadnât seen before.
He had wanted to drive out of the city after this race just to clear his head, and you had complied despite this late hour. Now, you were watching the sunrise from the top of a hill on an early summer morning, wondering how a moment like this, that you had never dreamed of before, was suddenly making you so happy.
âWhere is your father?â you finally dared to ask, because the moment felt right.
âIn prison for fraud,â Jaehyun deadpanned. âHe committed a huge tax evasion crime with his own company, not only taking the business down, but all of our savings as well along with the familyâs reputation.â
You were shocked. âI donât know what to say⌠Iâm so sorry, thatâs horrible.â
âHe consciously did that, knowing exactly the outcome of his actions, what itâd cause us, what it would make of us.â His blood was boiling, it was palpable. âAnd now, my mother is working two jobs just to make the ends meet and pay off the debt because of this selfish, money-hungry bastard.â
Jaehyun⌠was he racing to support his family too, just like his friends? Because a son who described his father as a selfish, money-hungry bastard couldnât be one himself.
âI guess we both grew up with father figures we couldnât really rely on.â
On top of the car were sitting two people with inner children that had been abandoned by their parents at some point. But you both had learned to make it through life without them. Screw them, you were going to make it better than your parents.
âI donât want my sister to grow up thinking all men are like our father. Iâm not the perfect example for an older brother, but I would do everything to give her the life she wants, such as illegal car racing just to open up the possibility to her of enrolling into her preferred university.â
So that was why and always, it was about winning races for him. Even though he had claimed otherwise in the beginning, he was not someone superficial who only cared about fame, you had always known. He cared about his family, and friends. And, as someone who hadnât grown up with the first, it was pretty touching that a brother would do that for his sister. Nobody had ever done that for you and you didnât have someone who would even consider doing this for you, too.Â
âYou sister must be really proud of you.â You smiled. âYouâre a good person, Jaehyun.â
Suddenly, he turned cold. âEasy for you to say, knowing only this side of me.â
These words hurt you after spending quite a lot of time with each other.Â
You had gotten to know his friends and now some of his backstory. You knew you were in no position to feel this way considering that he didnât see you as his friend yet apparently. Still, it stung somehow.
âWhen I was your sisterâs age, I would have loved to have an older brother by my side who cares so much about me. I was all alone, but your sister has you. Whether you see yourself as a good person or not, Jaehyun, it doesnât matter to your sister at all. Youâre good in her book, thatâs enough.â
âI appreciate you saying that.â He was being sincere, judging by his voice. âMy sister doesnât endorse my⌠side hustle. But she accepts it without a complaint, because she knows thatâs what gets us through. My mom on the other hand⌠You know how moms are. So we keep it a secret from .â
No, you actually didnât. And Jaehyun only realized that when he saw how your face fell. âI shouldnât h-â
Yet, you tried to overplay it with a shrug and a wave. âItâs okay. It slips off most peopleâs mind, because having a family is something we suggest everyone has. I donât blame anyone for thinking the same about me.â
âItâs not okay, Iâm sorry for speaking so nonchalantly,â Jaehyun replied determinedly, taking you aback. âI will pay more attention to what Iâm saying from now on.â
Nobody had ever reacted that way to such a sand trap. You were really surprised how understanding he actually was.  âItâs not like I grew up not knowing what a family should be like,â you continued. âI saw it in the foster family that took me in until I left high school. I saw it in my friendâs family who I spent most days with. I saw it walking through the mall passing by parents with their happy children. I know exactly what it should be like having a family, I just never had one of my own.â You dropped your head, tilting the corners of your lips slightly upwards. âBut one day, I dream of having one and do it all better.â
The silence that followed made you realize how bright outside it had already gotten, and also that you had just confessed your deepest wish to someone who didnât even consider you his friend. It had something slightly embarrassing, but also comforting, because you knew he would understand you nonetheless.
But Jaehyun didnât say anything back directly, and you felt a bit lost. It wasnât like you didnât feel validated or overlooked, the gaze in his eyes reflected nothing but understanding after all. Perhaps, he just wasnât as good at expressing his thoughts as you. And that was fine as you were a writer after all. As long as you could comprehend what seemed to go on his head, you were fine with the way you communicated. It was this fine bond between the racer and the navigator.
âGet up, weâre getting breakfast,â Jaehyun eventually prompted.Â
It sounded great after a good race so you didnât complain. âOkay!â
Jaehyun was already back on the ground while you still struggled getting off the hood without slipping. That was until you felt two strong hands gripping onto your sides and heaving you up as though you were as light as a feather. You could have sworn when you got inside the car, his hand lingered on your waist a bit longer than it needed to. But it could all have been in your tired mind as well.
____
You hadnât known breakfast would be taken in Jaehyunâs house.
âPlease come in and eat, dear, we have enough!â
His mother was a cordial person whose smile brightened up the entire home upon entering. You instantly felt welcomed by her cheerful personality.
âItâs very nice to meet you,â you greeted her back and kind of awkwardly followed her into the kitchen where she had already set up the entire breakfast table for four people after Jaehyun had called her from the car to inform them they would have a guest over.
Different main and side dishes were presented, and you didnât know where to look let alone what to eat first. You could tell Jaehyunâs mother had gone beyond and above to prepare this breakfast as he had given you a heads up that she usually left very early and came home late just to sleep the little time she had remaining. Yet, she never failed to eat breakfast with her children or at least make food for them every single day. That was motherly love.
You suddenly felt a wave of warmth spreading through your body. She wasnât your own mother, but right now, you felt very much like part of a family you had never gotten to experience yourself. And Jaehyun had wanted to show you.
Tears welled up behind your eyes as you took a seat at the opposite of him, and you tried to hide your sentiment, yet still sneaked a look at him. His soft gaze, he hid behind his long fringe. His caring demeanor, he hid behind his rough words. His apparent worries, he hid behind a long scowl. But this was all a facade for what he truly was: a loving son and brother and so much more than a money-hungry, selfish racer.Â
âDid you guys study hard for the exams the entire night?â Jaehyunâs mom asked and you tilted your head in confusion.Â
âYes, mom,â Jaehyun replied. âBut sheâs not a student anymore, I just picked her up on her way to work.â
She turned to you. âReally? What occupation do you inherit, dear?â
You looked into Jaehyunâs direction for approval, but he remained silent and nodded, so you told the truth, âIâm a journalist.â
âReally?â She clapped into her hands and laughed. âJiyeong wants to become a journalist too!â
Before you could ask who Jiyeong was, a female voice already asked, âWhatâs with me?â
She didnât look much like her brother. In fact, from the moment you saw her, you thought she was the spitting image of her mother, both very beautiful.Â
âJaehyunâs friend here is a journalist, Jiyeong. Isnât that amazing?â
âReally?â Jiyeongâs eyes started to sparkle and she approached you, seating herself right next to you. âIâm editor-in-chief at our schoolâs newspaper! Where do you work? I read almost all newspapers and magazines on a daily basis.â
While you were explaining to Jiyoung what articles were written by you of which she indeed remembered one or two, their mother placed rice in each of your bowls along with Jaehyunâs help.
You now knew why he had wanted specifically you and came back to recruit you not only once, but twice. The first time, he had most likely not thought about involving you yet. With his sister being into journalism, he knew how important your notebook was to you and genuinely only wanted to return it. The second time, he actually came around and wondered why not combine your talent for navigation with your occupation and get at least something out of your deal, not only for you, but for him - and his little sister - too.
âMy dream is to attend Ehwa Womanâs university,â Jiyoung told you when you all started eating. âWhere did you study?â
You smiled. It had been your dream to go to Ehwa too. But you didn't have money or relatives who could have supported you, so you attended a university far away from Seoul that was cheap in comparison. âI went to Chonnam University in Gwangju.â
âAnd you came back here and made it so far! I really look up to you!â
You flushed as you had always felt inferior to your colleagues who had attended the big and popular universities in Seoul, but Jaehyunâs sister not judging you by that but complimenting your actual skills touched you very much.
âNow, let her eat, Jiyeong! She hasnât even come to touch her food yet! Please dig in, dear before it gets cold!â
It was your first breakfast together with loving people in many, many years.
When you stood outside with Jaehyun, waiting for his sister to get her backpack for school so that he could drive her there, you told him, âThank you for introducing me to your mom and sister. I know why you did that.â
Because he wanted to show you what it felt like to have an actual, loving family. Because he wanted to show you that your work was never for vain. He had eventually become your friend, and you his. Yes, friend. But you didnât speak it out.
âWhen I found out that you were a journalist, I immediately thought great, I need to introduce you to my sister!... But journalists also destroyed my life by writing articles not only about my dadâs crimes, but also about me,â Jaehyun explained, and you nodded, knowing it was about the mystery incident he had yet to tell you. âMy sister never lost focus of her dream though. She told me she wanted to be one of the good ones, no defamation, always after the truth. So when you told me you were one of these people too, I thought that maybe, I can trust you after all, even with my life.â
âAnd you can!â You touched his arm in a gesture of comfort, and although his eyes widened, he didnât pull away. âI stand by what weâve promised to each other. I wonât publish anything without your consent. And if there is anything in the past that I have to clear up for you and your family, I will do so too.â
âMhmm.â You saw him struggling through his mien, but he didnât respond, apparently still needing to make his mind up. If so, you let him.Â
âSo, what do you study? You never told me.â
âNothing.â He heaved his shoulders and slowly dropped them again.
You frowned. âBut didnât you-â
âI dropped out last semester right after the incident.â
âBut your mo-â
â- doesnât know. Neither does my sister.â
You didnât want to judge, that was not your job, as a journalist and as a friend. So you asked, âWhy?â although you could most likely already make out the answer.
âWe canât afford it as of right now, so Iâm postponing my graduation. I definitely want to return, but as always, it boils down to money,â Jaehyun clarified. âI want to do it better than my father. I want to found my own company too and provide to my family the life they deserve. Even if the path to this aim might not be all legal, I promised to myself to leave this part of me behind once Iâm there.â
â...And I will do everything in my might to win every race for as long as weâre working together, Jaehyun.â
âFor my sister? Or for your story?â
âNot only for me, but also for your sister,â you repeated, âfor your mom and for y-â
You swallowed the last part, but the way his features softened suddenly, he might have understood nonetheless, and it made your heart flutter. Perhaps, in his eyes, you were now friends as well.
____
âThere is nothing personal in this story.â
You felt defeated. You had hoped, with handing in your first draft, your editor-in-chief would be totally invested in the story as well, encouraging you to continue and maybe even compliment you on the premise. Instead, while reading through all the pages with you sitting anxiously in front of him, his facial expression had fallen more and more.
âWhat do you mean?â
âThe beginning is very intriguing with you sitting in the car, racing with him. Itâs perfect, the reader gets thrown right into the story. But after that?â He shrugged and threw the papers back on his desk. âNothing. No feelings, no emotions, just scenery description and a lot of theoretical stuff. Nobody cares about how the navigation system works or how the cars are tuned.â
âOh, I thought it might be interesting to read how the team stays connected and what makes the cars so special.â
âNobody cares,â he retorted dryly. âThatâs not the stories people like to read. They can google all that stuff.â
Although it hurt your feelings, you had to silently admit that he was right. You hadn't given much away in the article about how Yuta worked behind the scenes or what the navigation system was really capable of according to Taeyong, but had to google a lot of things yourself too. You had wanted to give as little personal details away as possible, but apparently, it was too less. Your article was just boring.
âThere is no common thread,â he criticized sharply. âDo you want to write about yourself being involved, about the sports in common or about the Falcon? Because right now, itâs all of this and nothing at the same time. If youâre that involved, write about what you do, how you learned it, about your feelings during the races. If you write about the sports, interview other teams, the spectators, dive into the history. If you center the plot around the Falcon, whatâs his background, what does he race for, whatâs his aim?â
You exactly sensed which direction he wanted to push you. âIâll write abo-â
âI think,â he cut you off, âif you want to make it a headliner, you have to focus on the Falcon.â There it was. âWhy did the Falcon really pause for so long? Is it true that he had caused an accident during a race? What really happened back then? How did he regain his fame? What made people change their minds? And most importantly, is he going to win and what will he do with the prize money? These are the questions that intrigues the reader. They want emotions, passion, they need to feel something while reason. Right now, everything Iâm feeling is my hunger since itâs almost lunchtime.â
You purposely overheard his subtle taunt. âThose are very personal questions that he doesnât want to talk about.â
âWell, then make him.â
You kept it to yourself that you already knew most answers. âAs journalists, we also have to respect the peopleâs privacy and opinions.â
âThen make the entire story anonymous with all the personal information gathered,â he proposed. âItâs not less personal, but no names are given away.â
âI already plan on doing that.â
âSo whatâs the problem?âÂ
âPeople will still know, thatâs how known he is. I cannot reveal things he doesnât want me to reveal.â
Either way, anonymous, with his alias or even real name written in the article - it would hurt him all the same. It was his personal story, his family, his friends. It made him beautifully human, but also painfully fragile. It was his story to tell when the time was right, when he decided to do so, not you.
âVery well.â Your boss got up from his seat and took his jacket. âYou can publish it like this if you want. I guess for a nice closing story at the end of the magazine, it's enough.â
For the first time in your life, you were having a clash of interest. There it was in front of you, your dream job position, so close if you were only selfish enough. And behind you stood the man whose trust you had just gained, begging you to respect his past wounds. What would you do?
____
It wasnât easy, balancing racing by night and working by day. Oftentimes, you didnât get more than four hours of sleep, spending time at home after work just to shower, change and then leave for a race again. You didnât complain. You never did, because you enjoyed it very much. The newly formed friendship between you and Jaehyunâs team was something that brightened up your day as you had never experienced this kind of bond before. But you also didnât leave your aim out of sight.
With Jaehyunâs rising popularity though also came people who voiced out their doubts about him even louder. You had just finished this nightâs race and were waiting for Jaehyun to take you home, already looking forward to a bit of alone time with him, when you overheard a group of young men passing by.
âI donât care what others think or whether heâs popular,â one of them said. âAs long as heâs staying silent, heâs guilty in my book.â
âIn mine too,â the second chimed in. âWhy has he never said anything on that topic? And now, only because heâs winning so often and challenged the Cheetah, everybody seems to have forgotten about it? Bullshit.â
Your fingers clenched by the time the third one commented, âDonât worry guys, heâll fall out of grace as far as he has fallen. Itâs always like this.â
âHey!â Now, you couldnât listen to this conversation any longer and stepped out of your dark corner. âDo you feel proud, talking like this about a person you donât know?â
They stopped in their tracks and turned around to you. âAnd who are you?â
âOh, I think sheâs their navigator!â
One of them stepped in front of you and grinned. âThen, you must know the truth if youâre in the team and fight for him so desperately, right?â
The other two followed suit and laughed in unison. âOr are you in love with him and would defend him even though heâs guilty?â
You realized that you actually didnât care about the truth anymore. You didnât care when or whether Jaehyun would tell you one day at all. But that didnât withhold you from defending him like your life depended on it. Someone who loved his family and friends so dearly, who always paid much attention to the street and passerbyers, who had to talk you into taking a detour just because there was a crowd of people he had to race by⌠you would always defend your racer.
âThe truth is none of your business,â you said confidently. âDo I ask about what mistakes youâve made? A person I do not know personally? What has this got anything to do with his performance anyway? Either you bet on him or you donât, but nobody forces you. He doesnât need your dumbass opinions to win, he doesnât even know who you are.â
âHeyâŚâ
You couldnât tell who had spoken up, but you didnât care much as you just hit your stride. âHow about you get in the car and try to do the things these racers do? I bet you wouldnât even last a few minutes on these streets. It must be so peaceful, watching from the sidelines with your big mouths as long as youâre not the ones in action, am I right?â
âHey!â
Little did you know that the voice had come from behind you. Only when you felt an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to a chest whose scent smelled very familiar, it dawned on you that no one in the group had tried to speak up, but it had been Jaehyun who was standing behind you, most likely all this time already.
But he wasnât mad, even though your cheeks were burning. âListen to my girl. If you dare to raise your voice against her again, youâll be the ones the newspapers will be writing about the next day. Understood? Now, good riddance.â One opened their mouth to retort, but Jaehyun didnât let him. âI SAID GOOD RIDDANCE!â
They were out of your sight quicker than you could process, and Jaehyun let go of your shoulder the same moment.Â
âCome,â he urged you, and you silently followed him to the car. âI have to show you something.â
After you were driving for a little while all in awkward silence, you finally dared to ask, âWhere are we going?â
âIâll show you the truth.â
From the way his lollipop clicked against his teeth, you could only sense Jaehyunâs anxiety, and you wondered what got him so worked up even though he had won the race. You could only think of one reason. Perhaps, today was the day.
âDoes it have something to do with what happened back then?â
âYes.â
âDid I say something wrong earlier?â
Immediately, the clicking noises stopped, but he gripped the steering wheel even tighter. âYouâve gotten everything wrong.â
Your stomach dropped and you suddenly felt so nauseous. âJaehyun⌠what was wrong about it?â
He was visibly upset now. âHow can you say all these things about me?â
âThese.. things? What did I say that was wrong? I donât understand. I meant every word and I donât care whether you heard them or not, because they are the truth.â
âYou donât know the truth.â He added, âYet.â
âEven if⌠There was nothing wrong with what I said. You donât need them to win, you donât need spectators and betters. You only need yourself and your team. Everything else doesnât matter.â
He didnât reply, but kept his eyes fixated on the street in front of him. Not much talking, but many kilometers later, you suddenly came to a halt in a narrow street under a light post in a quiet neighborhood in the suburbs. To your left and right were single family houses and nobody was in your field of vision at this ungodly hour.
âIs thisâŚ?â
He took the lollipop out of his mouth and inhaled deeply. âThis is where it happened.â
âOh. JaehyunâŚâ You had been prepared to be taken here, but now that you were actually at the location, you didnât know what to say.
âThis is the spot where I collided with a pedestrian.â Even though he didnât stutter or pause, you still realized how much mental strength it had taken him to not only bring you here, but to also speak about the incident - probably for the first time ever since it had happened. âHe didnât die on the spot. He survived, actually. That much, I know after I asked around in the hospital. I donât know who he was, where he was going, whether he had family or other people who cared. I just called for an ambulance, drove my car away and remained hidden until they arrived. Then, I fled. This is the truth.â
You couldnât deny that you were relieved he didnât do a hit and run. You were also relieved that nobody had died and that the truth behind the accident was something that wouldnât shake your friendship to the core. Of course it was bad, and he knew it himself. Heâd always known and deeply regretted it, every single day. You saw it clearly now.
âI believe you.â
In moments of panic, humans were indeed most likely to do things they were not proud of, things totally wrong they wished to change later if only they could travel back in time. Things, they would have handled differently if they hadnât panicked or were too scared. Jaehyun wasnât an exception, although the baggage he had to carry was heavier than most elseâs.
Humans were not perfect. For him, it all started with his not so perfect father and the not so perfect life he was living, leading him to do not so perfect things to save what was still salvageable.Â
âFor one hot minute,â Jaehyun continued, âI really thought about leaving him there and fleeing as fast as possible. I couldnât go to jail like my father and leave my mom and sister all to themselves, dropping them entirely too. I couldnât get caught, so I did my best to prevent this.â He laughed, bitterly. âAfter all, I am what people think of me. So your words mean nothing.â
âMy words mean nothing?â It hurt. âItâs easy to tell someone how to behave when the incident has already taken place. But at the end of the day, we can never be sure how we, ourselves, would have reacted or what we would have thought at that moment. You thought about your mom and sister, but you thought about the accident victim too. You wanted to do the best for both. So you reacted accordingly to what was best in your mind.â
âStill, Iâm not the person you painted me to be. I nearly killed someone in a race. And you know why? Because I thought taking a shortcut through a neighborhood would make me win the race back then. Itâs not forbidden, but this is the reason we racers usually never do that.â
That was why he had been so reluctant to go through your neighborhood at your very first accidental race together. And he still wouldnât, no matter how much he trusted you. What had happened back then was still sitting deep within him - justifiably.
âI am running illegal races with you,â you started. âI have always known that you wouldnât work with the law. And I am neither! So what does that make us?â
He sank his head and placed his hands on his lap. âYou speak so highly of me, but in reality, I am a very bad person.â
âYouâve introduced me to your sister and mother, Jaehyun. If this is where a bad person grows up, then the entire world is rotten and beyond the point of saving. But people like you give me hope.â
âWhy would a person like me give you hope?â
âBecause, despite your situation, you still have so much love inside of you that expresses itself in so many forms. Thatâs why youâre loved too, by many people.â
Silence engulfed you, and you thought that Jaehyun would drive away after sometime again, but he didnât, so you accompanied him in this quietness as long as it helped him process the past.
âYou know why I wanted to take this shortcut?â he eventually spoke up quietly, and you shook your head. âBecause I wanted to end the race abruptly and rush home⌠That night, my sister got very sick and my mom wasnât home. I already announced that I would drop out before it happened.â
That was something the newspapers and no one else had ever mentioned. Of course, people always focus on sensational facts. It was easier to tell a story and transfer emotions when the main feeling an article would lure out was hate against someone.Â
It still had been a crime, this was a fact. And he could still go to jail for that. But you believed that the man who cared about his family so much and who was able to care about strangers too, was still very much haunted by his past, far more than he wanted to let slip through his facade.Â
If he hadnât had a family to take care of, things would be entirely different. But he trusted you enough now to tell you all this and not fear that you would go behind his back.
My girl⌠you remembered. Had he truly meant it? Had you proven to him your undeniable loyalty just earlier?
âJaehyunâŚâ
Slowly, your hand wandered to his lap on top of his. Against your expectations, he grabbed yours and squeezed it tightly.
____
When Jaehyun wanted to drop you off at your building much later, the tension between you was still palpable, and you didnât know how to make it vanish.Â
Perhaps, only time was needed - for him to believe that nothing had changed between you, and for you to settle with the fact that the guy who caused your heart to jump, just only a little bit, had done something grave in the past that you had to work through as well. After all, it still had been a crime.
âJaehyunâŚâ You wanted to end the night on a positive note, but he didnât let you finish the sentence.
âOur ways will part here and now.â
You thought you had misheard. âPardon?â
âI canât demand a goody two-shoes like you to help a criminal like me,â he said coldly and stiffened in his seat. âAnd I surely wonât help a goody two-shoes like you write about my criminal record anymore now that the truth was inevitable to come forward with. So it ends here. Now.â
You knew where this rooted from: doubt and guilt. But during your entire career path, you had dealt with a lot of people who suddenly changed their minds on a topic or got cold feet.
âThat wonât happen, Jaehyun,â you claimed. âYou donât have another navigator as good as me, no one and nothing can come close to the connection that you and I have.â
âItâll be fine,â he obliged. âNow, go.â
âNo,â you refused. âI will stay.â
âI SAID GO!â
âAND I SAID I WILL STAY!â
âGosh!â he yelled. âWhy canât you be obedient for once towards me and leave before I hurt you too?!â
You both froze when it dawned on you what he had just said. You almost didnât dare, yet you had to make sure that what he had said was indeed real.
âYouâre afraid to hurt me?â
âI deceive my mom when it comes down to my activities and my studies. If she ever finds out, sheâll be hurt. I hurt my sister by not always being there for her whenever she needs me. I hurt my team for expecting them to be there for me although they have their own struggles. And I hurt you, because I cannot be the person you expect me to be. I only hurt the people I love.â
You took a deep breather and waited a few heartbeats in case Jaehyun wanted to chase you away again. But he didnât. He just sat there in the driverâs seat, shoulders slumped, bangs messily falling into his eyes and the lollipop stick not moving a bit.Â
âYou want to protect your overworked mom from more worries, you want to provide a good future for your sister, and you split the win evenly among the team for them to help their families too. If I donât expect a friend to be exactly like this, then what else?â you confessed.
But Jaehyun didnât like this answer, it was written all over his face. You were scared that you had said something wrong.
âFriends?â he suddenly croaked.
âYeah, friends,â you repeated slowly. âArenât we⌠friends?â
You had seen him as your friend all along, though one who made your cheeks warm when he called you âmy girlâ and your heart swell when he touched you. But now, it hurt you that he had never felt even the slightest of the same connection. Fair enough, everyone needed their own space, and with Jaehyunâs past, it was his own right to decide whether to ever make friends again.
You had just hopedâŚ
Cherry.
That was the taste of Jaehyunâs lollipop, he never chose another flavor.
Though, it tasted different from his own lips than from the candy directly.
You were asking yourself how this sweet taste could calm him down when all it did to you at this moment was making your heart race and nearly jump out of your chest. Perhaps, because this time, you tasted the lollipopâs sweetness on his tongue rather than in your own mouth, and he made sure that you experienced every taste bud this flavor had to offer.Â
Lollipops were very sweet already, and although Jaehyun was a fast and restless street racer, his kisses were much sweeter than candy. Admittedly, you hadnât expected him to possess this side, but now that you thought about it, the signs had already been there whenever you observed him eating the candy.
Jaehyunâs fingers curled on your back when you motioned forward, away from your seat and more into his welcoming hug. The dashboard between you hindered you from embracing fully, causing you both to giggle at some point, but you continued kissing with your arms slung around his neck, for very long even after the cherry taste had vanished.
You werenât hurt anymore over the fact that Jaehyun didnât see you as his friend. You had never been friends. You had always been more than that.
____
Jaehyunâs victim had been a 45-year-old party chairman - that much you had found out through your connection to different journalists and a few demanding calls. The fact that after the incident, only silence followed and no details were revealed, not even about the gender and the age of the victim, had gotten your alarm bells ringing. And now you knew why.Â
A famous politician involved in a street racing accident, but no one had mentioned his name? Something was not right with this story, you didnât need to be a professional to recognize this.
âI need his record,â you then said at the hospitalâs reception.Â
Your editor-in-chief had given you this employeeâs contact, assuring you she was more lenient in data protection when she saw the right amount of money. And your boss had been very happy to pay her the requested amount the moment you told him what you were after.
âThis is exactly the kind of story I was looking for,â he had complimented you. âGood job. Now, go after it.â
You had left the building right away, making your way to the hospital the chairman had been admitted to after the accident.
âHere is a copy of his record,â the woman at the reception whispered to you. âAll is well, he got out after two weeks. There is one interesting thing though⌠but look for yourself.â
âThank you.â
You took the papers, and too excited to drive all the way back to the office, you looked through them right then and there after having found a quiet spot in the waiting room.
There was nothing abnormal at first for a car accident. It had left him with deep grazes, a dislocated arm, two broken ribs and a concussion. It sounded quite bad, but very mild for the fact that a car had hit him, and not at all life-threatening. So the accident had not been that severe as Jaehyun had made out to be in his panic.
Perhaps, that was the reason the party chairman had never been named in the news. But on the other hand⌠newspapers got to write articles about important politicians all the time, and just this once, his name had been left out? This didnât sound like something a newspaper would do under these circumstances.Â
The more important the name, the more clicks and sales the news generated. They must have been bribed to keep his name entirely out of all news revolving around this incident. You were wondering yourself why. Given all facts, no matter how macabre it sounded, this kind of accident would even play into the partyâs hands.Â
A very important politician who got hit by a street racer and admitted to the hospital with fractures? It would even be a headliner with the conclusion to go harder after such illegal activities.
Everything just doesnât sound right. Something was being kept buried that no one should know about and could possibly threaten the partyâs reputation. That much, you were already sure of.
⌠but what could it be?
You gasped when your eyes passed the passage that gave you a single answer to all your questions.
Patient was heavily intoxicated.
Whether it were drugs or alcohol, you didnât know. But you were going to find out soon as you returned back to the office and made a call to the police.
____
âHow high is the possibility that this program is actually a virus?â you asked and looked over Yutaâs shoulder who was currently typing something into his laptop.Â
âVery low, but itâs still new, so we never know what will happen anyway,â Taeyong answered on his friendâs behalf and stretched out on Yutaâs bed in whose home you had all gathered today. âCanât you detect it if itâs one?â
âWhat do you think Iâm currently trying to do here?â Yuta rolled his eyes. âIâm a programming student, not a wizard.â
âOkay, sorry? Jeez.â
âDoyoung said that with this program, you will also get the coordinates of all cars in your ten kilometer radius that use a GPS, so you can plan the route and the carâs speed even more predictively,â Yuta explained instead. âIâm still trying to figure out how.â
âThe race is in two weeks. You should hurry.â
âI know, Taeyong. You think these last weeks Iâve only been sitting around?â Yuta gave his friend a scowl. âIf itâs a new program, even used before its beta phase, itâs not so easy.â
âYeah, but-â
âOkay, enough guys!â you interrupted their bickering. âTaeyong let Yuta work and peace and rather go through the city's plan for next week with me to mark all new construction sites, okay?â
In unison, they both said, âFine.â
Taeyong turned to you while you started your own laptop to leave Yuta alone, and Jaehyun and Johnny were currently outside to maintain his car. You felt so included like never before in your life.
Youâve always said you didnât grow up with a family. But sometimes, a family wasnât something that you necessarily grew up with. Family also didnât need to be bonded by blood. Sometimes, you lost family along the way, sometimes you gained one. And everyone would always welcome you into their family.
In your case, you gained a family in the form of a strong friendship that you had never experienced before in your life. Sitting here, analyzing maps with Taeyong while Yuta was silently typing away and Johnny and Jaehyun would soon come upstairs to talk about the next race after which you would all order food and then watch a movie togetherâŚ
This was your own definition of family. This feeling of being cared for, trusted and loved without expecting anything in return, so much that it almost felt like your heart was going to burst. Your team was your family.
âI want to show you a place,â Jaehyun said when you were sitting in his car when all the work was done later that evening.
âDonât you need to go home as usual?â
âMy sister is having a sleepover at a friendâs house.â He smiled. âSo I think my mom will enjoy a little more alone time to rest better.â
âOkay, then letâs go!â
Jaehyun stopped the car only much later after you had driven up a mound with a path so narrow, you feared the vehicle wouldnât make it despite all its tuning. But against your expectations, you arrived at the top in that very same car, and the view over the entire city was splendid.
âI didnât know such a place existed!â you called out and ran around the viewing place. âJaehyun, I can see the entire city, and weâre not even on a mountain!â
âDo you like it?â he asked, following suit.
âI love it!â
âAnd I-â
âHm?â You turned around to him with the biggest smile on your face. âWhat is it?â
He shook his head with a soft look on his face. âNothing.â Then, he stepped close to you and hugged you from behind. âIâm happy you love it. Itâs my favorite place. After the incident with my father happened, my sister and I came here a lot, because it made us forget reality for quite a while.â
âThank you for sharing this special place with me.â You felt him kissing the nape of your neck and you shuddered pleasantly. âIt really means a lot.â
The true meaning of it was revealed to you by him right after, âI spent most of the time here before my comeback. I wanted to give up on racing entirely. One night, I didnât come home and my sister went to look for me which took her all night. I lost track of time, and I probably felt so ashamed returning to my family. When My sister found me here at the early hours of dawn, looking like a ghost and having cried all the way to this place, I knew that I had to do everything to protect my family. Thatâs when I dropped out of university and decided to race again. One day, I donât want to do this anymore. One day, Iâll be free.â
You loosened yourself from his hug, shifted around and embraced him now from the front, body to body. âYouâll be one day, Jaehyun.â He gently brushed his fingers through your hair. âOne day, you can provide your family the life they deserve and can finally live the one you have dreamed about as well.â
âBut do I deserve it after everything that Iâve done?â He sounded full of doubts. âIâm not sure.â
You responded, quite confidently, âYou do.â
âActually,â Jaehyun changed the topic, âThis car was my dadâs. He owned two, a big, elegant one to show off at work, and this one for his free time. Itâs the only thing that was left, because it was registered to my momâs name before I changed it to mine.â
You were curious about one topic. âWhy did you never sell it? You only started racing after his arrest, right? Why have you never exchanged it for money?â
âI thought about it, a lot, in fact,â he clarified. âMaintaining a car is a very expensive hobby, after all. Apart from the fact that races became my source of income as it makes money fast and much, I think a part of me canât also fully let go of my father.â He chuckled, but rather bitter and full of regret. âIsnât it ironic? I think of it like my father repaying the debts he caused. It's satisfying.â
A wicked thought, but you liked the way he thought about it.
âHey,â you then said, grinning, âdo you want to get back at him once more?â
____
âClose your mouth and suck.â
This time, Jaehyun didnât mean the lollipop he had put into your mouth, but something entirely else.Â
Luckily, the front seats of his car were able to be raised back all the way, so he was now lying almost flat on his back, his hands gently but determinedly having guided your head to his loin while you were sitting between his angled legs. You did as you had been told and sucked him off like a lollipop.Â
Your arms were propped up against the edges of the seat with your head bobbing up and down in a regular rhythm, but your tongue did the most work whenever you paused your neck movements just to indulge him with your proficiency.
âJesus Christ,â Jaehyun cursed and put his forearm over his face so that his facial expressions would be hidden from you. It was like he didnât want you to know how much control you had over him, but this was for no avail anyway as his swearing gave it all away, âNo fucking wayâŚâ
It was certainly not your first time sucking him off, so it wasnât like you didnât know what he looked like enjoying this kind of pleasure. You found it rather cute how he still thought he could hide this side of him from you.Â
Your tongue rolled over the tip of his dick, leaving a trace of saliva where it passed. Making sure you covered every angle with your motions, you halted them when you opened your mouth entirely and slowly took in the majority of his length until you felt like you couldnât do more.
Jaehyun let out a groan that made you smile inwardly, and it only got louder when you let him pass by your lips, but didnât let him slip out entirely. Instead, you sucked on the tip like the cherry lollipop he often offered you.Â
You made sure to alternate between sucking and taking him into your mouth almost entirely, and when your left hand wandered to his warm thigh, you felt how tense he had become due to the arousal you made him feel. Instead of letting your hand go back though, Jaehyun stretched out his own to grab your fingers and intertwined them.
His nails dug into your skin and his thighs became very tense, closing around the sides of your face when his release was near. He came in a long spur directly into your mouth, and you swallowed it all down, including cleaning him up - with your tongue of course.
Jaehyun reached out to your face while you were licking over your lips, and you smiled at each other before his own gradually grew more wicked.
âYou know what?â
âWhat?â You wiped with the back of your hand over your lips.
âI also never had sex in this car. Wanna change that?â
He didnât need to ask twice.
Although it was still very narrow in the vehicle, Jaehyun had swiftly managed to change your positions so that you were now lying underneath him and he was kneeling in front of you in a crouched position. You giggled amusedly when you watched him taking off his shirt as he tried to do so without bumping into anything, but this had been an impossible task from the very beginning. Luckily, you had undressed yourself before already, so that he didnât need to take care of that part too.
You assumed Jaehyun still needed a bit of time until he could go in fully again, but what would come before that, you had never expected. Your fingers were desperately gripping onto the door handle while your other hand was holding onto the seat belt that slowly dug into your flesh. But this slight pain passed by you almost unnoticeably when another feeling had taken control over your entire body and mind already.
You had already experienced how skillful Jaehyun was with his tongue whenever you kissed, which was long before indicated by the way he played with lollipops in his mouth. Of course he would put this skill into use elsewhere too.Â
But that he would be this good⌠You shuddered again when you came the second time in the span of a few minutes after Jaehyun had draped his hot, wet tongue all along your folds, causing your back to lift off from the seat and moaning his name over and over again.
And even then, he didnât stop. He came to face you after cleaning off his mouth, and kissed you for a long time until you had entirely calmed down before he crawled back to his original position and squeezed his fingers into your bum again to bring it closer to his face.Â
With the tip of his tongue, he searched for the sensitive bundle of nerves, and you indicated that he had found it when you let out a light squeal. His lips enclosed the bud and you felt all your blood vanishing from your face when he started sucking on it. Oh god, you thought to yourself, you were surely going to pass out.
But he didnât let you cum this time. Before you released, Jaehyun stopped and flipped you onto your stomach as swiftly as the narrow space allowed him to. Instinctively, you had already brought your bum up to give him better access, and you bit down into the flesh of your arm on which you had your chin rested when you felt him sliding into you from behind in one long motion.
The sound of his groin slapping against your cheeks mixed with your moans filled the car, and luckily, you had been the only ones on this view point at such a later hour. You had only had sex with Jaehyun once in your home, and you had never defined what that was between you. Maybe, you were too dense to speak it out and too naive to actually believe it, but you loved him.
Ironically, you only realized that when you decided to change positions and Jaehyun was constantly bumping his head on the ceiling and you got on top. You were settled on his hips, his length buried deep inside you, but you didnât move yet.
You let your fingertips wander over his chest, taking your time, and he suddenly grabbed them, led them to his mouth and kissed the tips. When you gazes locked, you were sure.Â
Yes, you loved him. With all his flaws, his burdens and his past. Perhaps, you had never experienced this kind of love, which was why you had always been reluctant and unsure, but if this wasnât love, you didnât know what was. You just hoped that at one point, he would come to feel this way about you too.
âWhat is it?â he asked with worry when you made no intention of continuing. âIs something wrong? You want to stop?â
But you shook your head. âItâs just⌠I donât want this moment to pass.â
Even in the semi-darkness, you encountered Jaehyunâs smile. âI feel the same way.â
Slowly, you raised your hips and slowly came back down to his groin. Jaehyun tried very hard to remain in eye contact with you, but when you did that several times more, he lost his composure again. You propped your hands up against his hard chest and picked up your pace, slamming onto him over and over again in a fast pace.
When you ran out of breath, you alternated the fast motions with sitting on his lap and just letting your hips rotate in different directions and forms, which very much pleased Jaehyun as well by the way he didnât stop moaning at this part as well.
With time though, your stamina gave in, you slumped over him, eventually let yourself fall onto his chest, because you were too exhausted to go on anymore.
âWant me to finish?â he asked and stroked your shoulder to which you could only give a slight nod.
He kept you locked to his hips with his hands holding onto your sides very tightly and started thrusting upwards. You felt like he had knocked all the air out of your lungs, that was much much power he still possessed. Luckily, for you, you didnât need to do anything anymore.
He was holding you as you laid on top of him, biting into his shoulder as he thrusted in and out of you with much force, which you really liked. Your thighs tensed around his sides and you whimpered gibberish into his ear, so close to cumming again.
Jaehyun let you release yourself first with a suppressed scream that partly still found a way to escape your lips, and your entire body shook as you felt your high flooding to every fiber of your body. He himself didnât take much longer and you held him while he experienced his own orgasm, pressing you so close to him as though he was afraid of being parted from you ever again.
When you were getting dressed, he suddenly dropped, âI could get used to it.â
âDoing nasty things in your dadâs old car?â you joked.
But his expression remained serious. âNo.â
You didnât know what he meant.
____
You had written two different versions of Jaehyunâs story.
The first was the one he had read himself and approved of. There were only a few details and personal information sprinkled in here and there about the Falcon while you were trying to fill the emotional gaps with anecdotes and quotes from the other team members under an alias that they were willing to share. You were even successful in interviewing a few spectators and it would include the outcome of the race.Â
Overall, the less personal and official version gave a good overview over this illegal sport, and you were truly satisfied with this tame version. It was sufficient enough, intriguing enough and informative as well as emotional enough. At other magazines, the story would have made the headlines, you were sure of that. But for the magazine you worked for, enough was only good enough. You had to be better than enough, you had to exceed.
With this version of the Falconâs story, you certainly werenât. It wasnât headline-material like your editor-in-chief expected after all the work you had put into it.
So you had written another version of this story.Â
One in which you talked about the Falconâs past, his family, what had really happened back then before his career arose again and the relationships between you all. Yes, even between the two of you. And you had even come forward with the truth about the politician after hard research. This version of the story was personal and vulnerable, and it was the truth.
Jaehyun had gotten to read it as the first and only one.Â
âIt wasnât.. entirely my fault?â he had asked in disbelief when you gave him the story to read.
You had wanted to wait until you had gotten your facts straight, had enough proof, and then came over to his house to lay it out all in front of him. First, you were unsure whether he would like it, to have had you dig deep into his past.Â
But if he came to hate you and started to hate himself less instead, then it would have been worth it nonetheless. From one moment to the other though, you clearly saw in his eyes how much of a burden got lifted off his shoulder. Sure, the fact that the politician had been intoxicated didnât change the fact that Jaehyun was way over the tempo limit, but he hadnât been the only one at fault.
The politician had been intoxicated with drugs to the point of not being able to walk properly and had remained in the middle of the street, too far gone to think and speak straightly when Jaehyun had passed by.
âNo, it wasnât entirely your fault,â you assured him.
And with that certainty, you both decided to move past this as this case - to both parties luck, fortunately - had long been decided to be buried under the rug anyway.Â
Jaehyun didnât come to hate you, you felt it in the way he hugged you close and never seemed to let you go after this revelation. He was, in fact, utterly grateful that you had never let go of this topic.
It was a step closer to him being free. From the very beginning, you knew which version you would publish after the race against the Cheetah. You had begged your boss to postpone the release for another month for you to include this race, and he had happily agreed - even to hold off the senior editor position.
____
âAre you nervous?â
You looked at Taeyong who took the seat next to you. Somehow, you werenât nervous at all, even though tonight was Jaehyunâs big race against the Cheetah with so much money involved unlike ever before.
Later, you would also finish up the story with the outcome of the race and send it over still this night for the entire country to read. Perhaps, you were more nervous about this than the competition itself since you fully trusted your gained skills and Jaehyun himself. You wouldnât treat this other than all the races before.
âIâm cool so far,â you said. âI just donât know if itâs good or bad.â
âI hope itâs good. Jaehyun is probably more nervous than he lets slip.â
âI can hear you.â It was Jaehyunâs voice through your headsets.
âGood!â Taeyong exclaimed. âThis wasnât supposed to be a secret.â
You giggled just in the moment Yuta came over to you and put a usb on your desk. Just a few days before, you both had figured out how the new navigation system worked.Â
âJust plug it in and do as I told you.â
You nodded and reached for the stick. There were only ten minutes remaining. You had never seen this many people wanting to watch a race before and the tension was sizzling, not only between the teams, but between the spectators too. As far as you had heard, the bets were almost equally split as though no one could decide who would win in their eyes. The Cheetahâs team was in another building, and you wondered whether they were still nervous with the amount of times they had already won so war.
âHey,â you suddenly heard Jaehyun through the headphones.
âYes?â
Apparently, he had muted himself for Taeyong since he didnât respond, but typed something into the computer and then turned around to talk to Johnny and Yuta.
âIf something happens,â Jaehyun spoke, âno matter what, will you be with me until the end?â
âOf course.â
âNo, I mean it.â
You frowned. âMean what?â
He sighed deeply as if he was struggling inwardly trying to find the right words. âWill you be with me⌠until the end?â
âOf course!â you replied happily.
âNo! I mean... shit.â
What did he want? âI donât get it.âÂ
âI love you.â
You were stunned.Â
It was the first time he had said this to you. The first time someone had said this to you. For how long had he been feeling this way already? Was there a chance heâd been in love with you for as long as you loved him too? You were long lost for words and before you could even inhale to say something back, Taeyong was by your side again.
âYou guys ready?â
âYes,â Jaehyun answered quickly as though nothing had ever happened.
âThen get ready.â
____
The moment the race started, you got to witness with your own eyes why the Cheetah was called the Cheetah. Jaehyun was already a remarkable racer, but his rival was immaculate.Â
You wouldnât be Jaehyunâs navigator though if you hadnât grown together throughout the past weeks. You were his additional eyes, ears and mind. Whatever he lacked or hadn't perfected, you carried out together, making him even stronger so that as of right now, he could easily take it on the Cheetah. You were going to win, that was how much trust you had in you both.
Midway through the race though, which was a real head-to-head contest that had eventually shaken off a part of your tranquility and replaced it with a bit of nervousness because of a few instances from which you quickly recovered nonetheless, Jaehyun started to panic.
âShit, we didnât see this coming!âÂ
He complained about a construction site that had not been on your screen, but only popped up now. As of this instance, he was in advance, being in front of the Cheetah. Now, it was on you for how long he could hold that position.
âDonât worry,â you tried to calm Jaehyun down while your heart raced almost as fast as the car itself right now. âI got you.â
âWhy didnât the new navigation system that Yuta gave you see it coming?â It sounded almost like an accusation and Taeyong shot a meaningful look at you from the side. âThere are construction vehicles all around it!â
âHey.â You didnât raise your voice, you just wanted Jaehyun to snap out of his mental deadlock since he was too into it. âStay calm.â
Sometimes, this happened. And if he was too panicked, heâd lose focus and make mistakes. That was why you were here. By now, you knew how to handle them and not let him irritate you or vice versa.
âIâm sorry.â Jaehyun had instant regrets. âI just want to win, I need to win.â
âI know. But to win, you have to trust me.â
You could only imagine his fingers gripping onto the steering wheel like his life depended on it, the knuckles first turning red, then white.Â
âI canât lose,â he breathed and repeated like a mantra, âI canât lose.â
On the screen, you perceived that he wasnât as fast and sharp with his driving anymore, the Cheetah drawing closer to erase the remaining meters between the two cars. The vehicles appeared on the screen as dots on a map, the two that represented the racing cars now almost melting into one. Your entire team had gathered around you and were listening to you speak, only you and Taeyong knowing the details of your driverâs panic so far.Â
âYou wonât lose, because Iâm here with you, Jaehyun,â you assured him slowly, aware that in such kind of situations, you had to pretend to be calm to keep the driver at peace, even though you were tense as hell too. âItâs me, okay? I love you too, and I will be with you until the end. I know the meaning of this now, and of course I will.â
Silence - not only on the other side of the headset, but also in the hall among your team.
âPlease say something,â you addressed to Jaehyun while ignoring all the other membersâ grins. âThis is kind of really embarrassing now.â
âI-I⌠I canât,â he stuttered. âIâm⌠too happy.â
You smiled. Even though you were only connected via voice and there were other people standing behind you, you felt more connected to Jaehyun like never before.Â
âAre you ready to win this game with me now?â you asked him.
You felt his confident grin in every fiber of your body, it had given him the boost he needed. "Absolutely."Â
âHey, weâre here too!â Johnny interrupted you. âWhat about us?â
âGet lost.â Jaehyun returned back to his grumble, but everyone knew that he didnât mean it this way.
When you all broke out into a laughter together that lifted off the tension, even just a little bit, you finally felt like you had long reached the finish line. Not in terms of the race, but in terms of other things.Â
Trust, friendship and even love.
Because even if you had been among them only for a few weeks, you couldnât imagine a better feeling than the warmth they caused you to experience right now with Johnny putting his hand on your shoulder in a comforting gesture, Taeyong smiling at you as he pointed at something on the screen, and Yuta rolling his eyes, seemingly not minding, but silently enjoying the entire situation.
This was it. This was your family. There was no deeper connection than you had with your team. You were going to win.
____
And you did.
Jaehyun crossed the finish line first.
Jaehyun won against the Cheetah.
Jaehyun was crowned King of the Streets.
âŚ
But he didnât last on the throne for long.Â
Only eight hours.
____
âKing of the StreetsâÂ
⌠was the headline of your story that you finished late at night and sent over to your editor-in-chief so that it could still be printed for next monthâs issue with the intention to be published the morning after.
____
âCongratulations.â
âPardon?â
You were sitting in your bossâ office, the same chair, the same desk, the same window and the same view in sight. A few weeks ago, this had meant everything to you. You had wanted this, so badly, and you would have done everything for it. Now, it meant nothing anymore.
You hadnât seen the new issue yet, that was not why you had come here. In your hands, you were holding a notice, but it had got nothing to do with what you had handed in the night before.
ââKing of the Streetsâ? I couldnât have thought of a better title.â Your boss the issue in front of your eyes, but you rarely paid attention to it. âItâs great that you went with the way of leaving out the guyâs real name and even the politicianâs name. Honestly, if I didnât know who it was myself, I wouldnât be able to guess. Now, people will get invested and do some digging. Congratulations on your promotion to senior editor!â
âPardon?â you repeated.
You hadnât written about the politician as agreed on. In fact, you had left out the entire storyline about the incident. That was why you had been so sure the story wouldnât make headlines, and in your hands you were actually holding your resignation notice. You didnât want to become senior editor. You wanted to quit.
With trembling hands, you reached out to the newest issue and looked at the headline. Indeed, this was your title âKing of the Streetsâ with a stock photo that showed cars by night in front of a skyline. Your breath shortened when you searched for the right page and you felt like the air was being cut in your lungs when you stumbled over the story and started reading.
This was not your article. At least not the one that had been supposed to get published. It was the one only Jaehyun had gotten to read earlier, his very own, personal version. You felt sick in your stomach. How was this possible? Had you been hacked? Had someone secretly gotten access to your laptop?
âI⌠I sent you this?â Your voice shook with each syllable.
The editor-in-chief nodded. âOnly a few minutes before the boring, second one. Of course I went with the first one. Who wouldnât?â
âI didnât send you this!â you nearly screamed. âHow could you have published this?!ââ
âPlease calm down, Miss. This was sent from your very own email.â
âShow me,â you demanded and smacked the issue back on the desk. âShow me the mail!â
He sighed deeply and murmured something about short term memory, but you didnât care much about his shenanigans anymore. Either way, today was the last day youâd ever interact. Youâd just leave, what could he possibly do about it?
When your ex-boss shifted the desktop into your direction, you directly noticed, âThis is not my work mail.â
It was your usual mailing name from a random provider, but neither your work mail address or your private one. Everything was similar except for the domain, indicating that someone had made this up on purpose.
âYes, but I figured you might be using another mail, because you werenât at home or didnât have access. It was the big competition, so it was possible, right? Aside from that, this is your topic and writing style, even signed with your name. How could I have doubted it? I mean⌠this is your story after all, isnât it?â
âIt is.â
There was nothing you could say to defend yourself in front of him. You had written this all yourself, and the fact that it had gotten leaked wasnât his problem.  But someone elseâsâŚ
âI have to go,â you said.
âWell, when will you come back? We have to talk about your new positionâs details.â
You laughed bitterly and didnât forget to drop the letter on his desk. âI wonât come back.â
You didnât care about your belongings. You just grabbed your bag, jacket and laptop and left the office without saying goodbye to anyone. The only thing on your mind right now was that you had to talk to Jaehyun and explain everything to him.
The more surprised you were to find him already sitting in the lobby. You were stunned, but as you continued your movements towards him, Jaehyun looked up, and your blood froze. He wore the biggest scowl on his face, and hidden behind it was the one emotion that hurt you the most: disappointment.
âJaeh-â
âHow could you?!â he yelled and arose from the coach, but he didnât approach you. âI trusted you!â
You were assured it wasnât because he was afraid he'd lose himself. He just couldnât look you in the eyes as disappointment came forward more and more, revealing his true feelings. He couldnât keep the angry facade up for much longer upon meeting you, the person he loved. But you still saw. Jaehyun was utterly hurt, and it was caused by this very same person.
You didnât need to explain yourself, it wouldnât change anything. You had betrayed and disappointed him like his father had, and there was no excuse for it. His entire past and deepest conflits had just been revealed to the country, and even though it wasnât you who had published the story, you were the one who had written it.
Telling Jaehyun that it hadnât been sent in by you wouldnât change a single thing. The deed had already been done and there was no going back. You were just another person he had entirely lost faith and trust in, and there was no way for it to be restored. At least not right now, not immediately.
Jaehyun clenched his fists and pressed through gritted teeth, âYou promised to me, I trusted you.â
Every syllable he directed at you pierced directly through your heart. You shouldnât have written anything in the first place, it should have just stayed between the two of you. What had you thought while writing all of this? That you were doing him a favor? For what? No, it wouldnât change anything, and it wouldnât make him less sad and disappointed if he knew that you werenât the person who had published it.
So you simply said, âIâm sorry, I should have never written this story.âÂ
âIâve always known you journalists were selfish bastards after all,â he hissed.
No heartbreak that you had ever experienced before came close to what you were feeling right now. At this point, you thought that you had been left by so many people in your life that you would need to entirely shut down.
Jaehyun didnât speak it out, but you certainly sensed that he was going to leave you now, too. This was what you got for always being so nosy, for wanting so much and giving everything for it. In the end, when you reached your aim, everything didnât matter when you lost every person that meant the world to you along the way.
âGet lost! Keep out of my sight and donât ever dare talking to me again!â
When Jaehyun turned around without looking at you one more time, it felt like you were dying. So many people had walked out of your life already, and the man you loved the most being one of them hadnât been in your book before. But now, it was very much real. It felt hurtfully real.
âMiss, are you okay?â the receptionist asked when she was approaching you.
You hadnât noticed how your notebook had fallen on the floor, paper flying around everywhere. You were still looking after Jaehyun, petrified, while the young woman started to collect the sheets by your feet, but you barely noticed her. How was one to function, when they had lost what they loved the most?
Not much later, the receptionist was holding your arm after you had broken down crying in the middle of all your belongings. There was no one else anymore who could have emotionally supported you anyway, so who did it now was irrelevant to you.It didnât help one bit though.
____
âJiyeong?â
âCan I come in?â
It had been two weeks since Jaehyun had walked out of your life and you quit your job. Every minute of the day, you were hoping that he would come by to talk it all out. Not once had you hoped that his sister would do so instead of him.
âSure.â
When she took off her shoes, walked past your small entrance and into your room, her eyes widened. âWhy the many moving boxes? Are youâŚâ
âIâll be going away.â
âWhere to?â
You smiled, but remained quiet, and Jiyeong immediately understood.Â
You didnât want her to know and no one else either. Not because you were afraid that she or someone else would tell anyone, but because telling anyone at all would open the possibility of getting haunted by your past again. And this time, you just really wanted a clean cut.
âWhen are you leaving?â she asked instead, not even mildly offended to your relief.
âNext week.â
âI wish you all the best.â
âThank you, Jiyeong. I really appreciate that.â
âPlease donât say this so easily.â Her expression changed into a pained one. âYouâll hate me from now on.â
âWhy would I possibly hate you?â
She didnât reply immediately, but nervously stepped from one foot on the other. She barely dared to look into your eyes, kneading her fingers nervously. âBecause it was me.â
You were confused. âWhat?â
Even a bit quieter, she confessed, âIt was me who sent the story to your boss.â
You were lost for words and still in hope you had heard wrong. âYou sent the published story to my magazine that night?â
Slowly, Jiyeong nodded. âYes. I found the story still open on my brotherâs laptop when I went into his room to look for a charger. I couldnât look past it, I really needed to read it. And it was so beautiful. My brother is just so deeply misunderstood, I was so relieved someone else saw it. So I wanted the entire country to know too.â
It was a lot for you to take in, and you still couldnât believe this was real. âDid you create a fake mail account in my name and send it to my boss this way?â
âYes. The mail from you with the article was still open, so it was easy to secure a similar address. I just acted on my personal intentions and disregarded your and my familyâs feelings. I didnât know what I would cause by doing that. I didnât know I would not only get our mother worried, but hurt my brother and you too. I deeply apologize.â
âJiyeongâŚâ
âI thought,â she interrupted you, âI thought everyone would finally see my brother the way my mom, I, his friends and you see him. That heâs more than all that people paint him to be, and that the incident back then was different from everyoneâs make up story. Never have I thought that I would not only ruin the lives of the people involved too, the least his or yours. I tried to change it up and make it as anonymous as possible, but Iâm only writing in school, I don't have any real life experience, Iâm still a child. I didnât want all that, that was not supposed to happen! What was I thinking?!â
Her voice gradually grew louder and more upset, and when she hit the last sentence, she was close to tears.Â
You remembered the time when you were a teenager. There had been some grave mistakes you had made and many words you had said that you would want to have taken back immediately, but the deed had already been done and feelings had been hurt, including yours. Sometimes, the guilt gnawed on you like a parasite that never stopped being hungry.
You had never wanted to become a person who made someone else live with that feeling forever. In front of you just stood a teenage girl who had wanted to do the right thing and who just didnât know what the right thing was. So you stretched out your arms and pulled her into an embrace. Jiyeon begged you over and over again to not hate her or her brother. You loved both of them dearly, how could you?
When she left after sharing a bottle of ice cream with you to soothe your both shaken up feelings, you also learned that Jaehyun had been informed about Jiyeongâs misconduct directly after he had come home the day the story was published - so two weeks ago.
This entire time, he knew. He had known all along and he never contacted you.
You hoped so badly that Jaehyun would still come. You were even still holding onto the slightest sliver of hope the day you moved away from Seoul, until the moment you closed your empty apartment door behind you.
But he never came.
It was just as you thought: It didnât change anything, whether you or anyone else had sent in the story. The outcome would have always been the same.
So, if Jaehyun had decided to move on, then you would too.
Even though you had lived one of the best times of your life in that city, now it bearded nothing but a sorrowful past and broken dreams.Â
You wanted to move on, too.
____
2 years later
Moving out of a city didnât simultaneously mean continuing on.
You had first needed to learn how to start life all over again.
It hadnât been easy to begin again in Daejeon. It had taken quite a bit of time to find an affordable apartment, although the city was much less populated than the capital. It had even taken you much longer to find a job that fitted you more than the last one, and only recently had you settled with a new friend group.
Overall, life was going pretty well for you now.
Were it not for the fact that you still missed Jaehyun with every fiber of your heart.
After your published story, many newspapers had made follow up articles, even leaking the party chairmanâs name. Of course he had then been fired from his position and the party would not make it to be one of those with the highest votes anymore.Â
Not a word was lost about the Falcon though. It was like he had never existed.
But you knew better.
Jaehyun had stopped street racing entirely and had enrolled back into university for his last year. He had taken the last raceâs prize money to pay off the familyâs debt - his entire team had left their amount to help him out this time, including you. This had allowed him to sell his car and start working part time in an electric shop.Â
It hadnât been by far as much as he had earned as a racer, but they had made ends meet with honest work.
You were wholeheartedly happy for him when Taeyong had told you all this one day when you had met in Daejong a year ago.
âHe misses you very much too,â he had said, and you had smiled lightly.
âI thought he hated me.â
âDid you forget what he said during his last race?â
That he loved you.Â
âI will never forget.â
Jaehyun had won the biggest race in his whole career, but he still wasnât entirely free. Being crowned King of the Streets, having won a lot of money and becoming popular as well as getting your love - all that hadnât set him free from his past.
âBut now, it doesnât matter anymore,â you had added, speaking to Taeyong.
He had wanted more time not only for, but also with his mom and sister. Being a good son and brother like his father could have never been.
Jaehyun couldn't put his life on hold to leave his family eventually, too. You had understood, so you had quietly accepted all this, letting him go and focus on the things he saw as important now. Where it had been racing and winning before, his priorities had entirely shifted.
If your love wasnât part of this anymore but had made him realize this, then what more could you ask for?
By now, another year later, Jaehyun must have graduated from university already and his sister must be a sophomore in high school. Every now and then, you thought about them and prayed for their safety, but your life wasnât on hold anymore.
âMiss, your interview partner is waiting in the lobby.â
âOkay, thank you.â
You took your notebook from your desk and walked out of your office. The room wasnât as big as the one in your old company and the view was not as splendid, but you were editor-in-chief for the city's biggest magazine. You could write about things you really cared about like politics and things going on in town, nobody pressured you to cover topics that required you to do criminal things.
The company fitted your personality, your morals. It was perfect for you.Â
A week ago, you had gotten a request from someone who claimed to have a really good story for you. Even after telling the person via mail that your magazine didnât take on this kind of sensational story, the person was being persistent, so you gave in and were open to hear what they had to say.
âGood morning, I-â
The last words got stuck in your throat and your breath caught simultaneously. You let your notebook nearly slip from your hands upon encountering your todayâs interview partner.
âGood morning.â
He smiled the smile you had lured out of him only after a few weeks of knowing each other. In these two years, he hadnât changed one bit. He looked more mature and admittedly also more relaxed, the scowl entirely gone. His clothes had changed into more sophisticated ones as he wore black dress pants and a white button up.
âLifeâs been treating you well,â he added. âIâm happy for you.â
His deep, soft voice let you nearly melt again, but you were a professional, so you regained your composure real quick.Â
âI heard you have a really good story for me Mr. Jeong,â you smiled. âIâm really looking forward to it.â
____
Jaehyun wanted you to publish a story.Â
This time, with him and with his name written all over it.
âI donât want to hide anymore, I donât want to have secrets. I want to come clear, not only with myself, my family and friends, but also with everyone involved. Iâve already gathered permission from everyone, and even though it admittedly took me very long to reach this conclusion, Iâm a hundred percent sure I want to do it. And most importantly, I want you to do it.â
It would be his personal story, from his own point of view where he would talk about his past, his fatherâs wrongdoings, his struggles and what he had been up to since his final race. He asked you to sell this story to your old company for a wider audience and for a follow up.Â
Legally, he weighed himself secure since he had talked to a few layers before making this decision. It was all for his conscience. If this helped Jaehyun finally move on entirely, then you would happily do it for him.
âBack then, during my last race, my navigator had never used the new system. I only found out much later.â
You paused your writing and looked up. You had settled yourselves in a conference room to work on this story without any interruptions. âWhy did she never use it, Mr. Jeong?â
âShe had so much faith and trust in our connection, she was sure she could do it without, that was how much she believed in me.â
You lowered your head and pretended to write, but out came only gibberish. Your heart was racing. You always fondly thought back to that time. âShe must have been a real baddie,â you joked.
âShe was.â The corners of Jaehyunâs lips curled upwards. âI donât regret anything except for one thing.â
âWhich isâŚ?â
âLetting her go.â
You were asking yourself why you suddenly couldnât see anymore as your vision was very blurry. When you wiped the back of your hand over your eyes, you realized that you had started crying, and the tears had stained the writing on your paper.
âI have one more question for you,â you only brought out.
âYes?â
âHave you married yet, Mr. Jeong?â
The pause that followed almost tore you apart as you closed your eyes and prayed inwardly.
âIâve been waiting for a special person to return to Seoul,â he nearly whispered. âWhen she didnât, I went to search for her.â
You looked up to him, tears still burning on the brim, but somehow, you didnât feel sad anymore. You felt more overwhelmed with this entire revelation that caused your heart to finally flutter again.Â
You had never stopped loving Jaehyun.
âAnd⌠what if that person doesnât want to go back to Seoul?â
Jaehyun stretched out his hand and laid his palm against your cheek, wiping away your tears. It felt so familiar and warm, a feeling you had deeply missed. Even though there was still a respectful distance between you that had built up in the past two years, the connection was as deep and intense as ever.Â
It was at this moment that you realized Jaehyun had never stopped loving you too.
âThen, Iâll go wherever she goes.â
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Being a Dutch Jew, here is some information about the violence in Amsterdam that is either common knowledge in the Netherlands, or is from some sources in Dutch that might not be commonly available for an international audience.
First of all about hooliganism, Amsterdam's football club Ajax is known as a 'joodenclub', a 'jewclub', because Amsterdam used to have a large jewish minority, many of whom were supporters of the club, and because several Dutch Jews were members of the team at one point. Ajax supporters take pride in this name. Because of this, there is a good relationship between Ajax and Macabbi, and the match was considered at low risk for football related violence and supporters of both teams mixed freely on the train back to the city center. In fact, only a pro-palestine protest was moved away from the stadium, because the police had recieved information that 'harde kern' Ajax hooligans were planning to stop that demonstration.
On that note, I have seen mixed information on what the Macabbi supporters were singing, but regardless, because Ajax is known as a jewclub, a common chant among the fans of opposing Dutch teams is "Hamas, hamas, alle joden aan het gas," or "Hamas, hamas, all the jews to the gas." Yes, a chant heard at pro-palestine protest is originally from Dutch football. Authorities have been cracking down on it in recent years, but a cursory google found people being arrested over it as recently as may 2023. Somehow, jews have never attacked random supporters of opposing teams at matches where this was chanted. Any Dutch person trying to justify things would be well aware of this.
About media coverage, I get my news about Amsterdam from Het Parool, a left-of-center, Amsterdam-based newspaper, that grew out of a WWII resistance paper. This is the current (about 16:30 Dutch time) front page of the newspaper website. In it the violence is described as an 'antisemitische klopjacht' an antisemitic manhunt. Most articles about it are paywalled, but firefox screenreader mode can bypass it.
Finally, I recognised a lot of the terminology in intenational news coverage from yesterday's press conference by Mayor Halsema (the woman in the picture above), which was also shown live by the dutch public bradcaster. In it an AP reporter asks in Dutch about Macabbi provocations, and they partially quote the police chief's answer, but not Mayor Halsma who came in right after, and said that the violence was in no way justifiable. I'm linking the full YouTube video of the press conference below. It is mostly in Dutch, and I have no idea about the quality of the autotranslation, but at about the 30 min. mark an Al Jazeera reporter asks a similar question in English, and the Mayor's answer in English is very clear.
youtube
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Elon Musk has repeatedly claimed that his so-called Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) project had uncovered massive government fraud when it alleged that 150-year-olds were claiming Social Security benefits.
But Musk has provided no evidence to back up his claims, and experts quickly pointed out that this is very likely just a quirk of the decades-old coding language that underpins the government payment systems.
Musk first made the claims during his Oval Office press conference last week, when he claimed that a âcursory examination of Social Security, and we got people in there that are 150 years old. Now, do you know anyone that's 150? I don't know. They should be in the Guinness Book of World Records ⌠So that's a case where I think they're probably dead.â
While no evidence was produced to back up this claim, it was picked up by the right-wing commentators online, primarily on Muskâs own X platform, as well as being reported credibly by pro-Trump media outlets.
Computer programmers quickly claimed that the 150 figure was not evidence of fraud, but rather the result of a weird quirk of the Social Security Administrationâs benefits system, which was largely written in COBOL, a 60-year-old programming language that undergirds SSAâs databases as well as systems from many other US government agencies.
COBOL is rarely used today, and as such, Muskâs cadre of young engineers may well be unfamiliar with it.
Because COBOL does not have a date type, some implementations rely instead on a system whereby all dates are coded to a reference point. The most commonly used is May 20, 1875, as this was the date of an international standards-setting conference held in Paris, known as the "Convention du Mètre."
These systems default to the reference point when a birth date is missing or incomplete, meaning all of those entries in 2025 would show an age of 150.
Thatâs just one possible explanation for what DOGE allegedly found. Musk could also have simply looked up the SSAâs own website, which explains that since September 2015 the agency has automatically stopped benefit payments when anyone reaches the age of 115.
However, on Monday morning Musk doubled down, posting a screenshot of what he claims were figures from âthe Social Security databaseâ to X, writing that âthe numbers of people in each age bucket with the death field set to FALSE!â
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How to watch UCONN WOMEN'S BASKETBALL GAMES (streams added below)
NOTE: Watching via SNY or FOX, you will need to sign in through a tv provider/cable.
To watch SNY:


Source: https://sny.tv/info/live-faq
You must be in their broadcasting territory. you can't watch SNY outside of its regional territory, which includes New York, Connecticut, parts of New Jersey, and parts of Pennsylvania.
you must also be an SNY subscriber through a participating TV provider. List of providers: https://sny.tv/watch-now
If you meet these conditions, you're good to go!
To watch on FOX Sports (if you don't have SNY or live outside of tristate area):
Out-of-market fans (those who don't have SNY from tv providers and people who live outside broadcast region meaning other states) you will be able to stream UConn's SNY games at no additional cost to authenticated subscribers who have FOX as part of their television package. Users will need to sign in with their TV provider credentials at https://www.foxsports.com/ or in the FOX Sports app. The games can also be accessed at www.fox.com/sports or in the FOX Now app. Source:https://uconnhuskies.com/watch/search

Source:
About UCONN+ (website and app)

Unless noted UCONN+ (web and app) will ONLY have audio. This is because they do not have rights to broadcast games. And to my knowledge they also do not have rights to post replays either. They will live stream post game conferences though (not sure if for all games though.)
For everyone without access to SNY or FOX and international fans:
Theres no hope. lol just kidding. There is some hope. As of now (8am est) I've checked a few popular sports streaming sites(vipbox, methstreams, NBAstreams, sportsurge, crackstream, streameast and some iptv channels for sny) and unfortunately they don't have the game listed on their upcoming events but these sites do sometimes put up links under "basketball" and/or "NCAA" but those links only go up around game time (~30 min before tip off). unfortunately women's college isn't as popular as the men's đ so it's hard to find. If I do find anything, I will post
Edit: stream links
This one has replay available:
Sidenote: please save and use the following uconnwbb's tv schedule to see which networks will air the games throughout the season

(thank you to the anons that shared the streams)
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I come late to organizing as a transgender activist. In doing so, Iâve learned a lot. Iâve learned transgendered people truly are everywhere and not just in New York, San Francisco and Washington D.C. Iâve learned many want to quietly assimilate into the white, heterosexual, middle class status quo that is the dominant culture of our nation. Iâve learned quite a few of us have no wish or desire for such assimilation â that for some of us, our greatest desire is to shake up that dominant culture, to question gender and identity on every level â social, biological, political and personal. Iâve learned that perhaps right at this moment there is a transgendered person â most likely an MTF transsexual or crossdresser, most likely a person of color, being brutally murdered. Iâve learned people much younger than I are coming out as transgendered in ways I never believed possible when I was their age and are challenging not only the status quo, but also calling on âoldâ activists like me to take another look around and see the world through their eyes. And Iâve learned that, perhaps like all other communities, we love to eat our own. Some of you reading this are aware of the controversies and conflicts swirling within the transgender community, most of which focus upon the organization GenderPAC. For those of you who arenât up on it, hereâs an abbreviated version. A significant number of transgender activists and community organizations have taken issue with GenderPACâs expansion of its mission and vision to incorporate a larger view of gender rights rather than a specific and focused emphasis upon civil rights advocacy for transgendered people. Depending on whom you ask, this reinventing of GenderPAC is either the logical extension of its organizational vision to secure the rights of all people to free gender expression â or the cold-blooded abandonment of the very community by whom and for which it was created, nurtured and financially supported. Being the baby TG activist I am, I come to this drama late. Long after the battle lines were laid down. Long after sides were chosen, opinions formed and set in stone. Long after wounds (both real and imagined) were inflicted.
Iâve watched carefully for the past couple of years as the battle has played out online, in internet chat rooms, and on mailing lists. Iâve read statements from individuals and organizations that have taken a stand on the issue. Iâve received press releases and announcements from one camp or another; a battle of media propaganda that would make the veterans of the Cold War proud. And through it all, Iâve tried to be a rather casual observer, if one can be casual as they watch some of the best and brightest of their community consumed in an internal battle that threatens to tear the entire community apart. Of course my being a casual observer hasnât stopped a few folks from demanding to know where I stand. Iâve been pulled aside at conferences and been given âinformation,â primarily innuendo and accusation, so I am up to speed on the situation. Iâve been directed to websites that were little more than character assassinations in badly laid-out HTML. And Iâve been emailed privately and off-list by those concerned I was going to make the âwrong choice.â Want to know what my answer to these people is? Okay, here it is â I really donât care. Thatâs right. I DONâT CARE. You see, I believe almost everyone entangled in this controversy is acting in what they believe are the best interests of the community with which they feel most closely aligned. I believe theyâre doing the best they can with what they have. I believe mistakes have been made by everyone involved, that the personal has become political in the most destructive of ways. I also believe in change and evolution; that even organizations that have had to be forced to listen to me and to consider my issues can learn from their mistakes and realize they must make a seat for me at the table if they are to truly realize the dream of civil rights for themselves and for others. But most of all, I believe in hope. I was asked point-blank whose side I was on. This is my answer: I am on the side of whoever has the guts and initiative to end this thing and make a real effort to move our community forward out of this debilitating and destructive conflict. Iâm on the side of anyone who is more interested in healing the wounds than in proving who is right. Iâm on the side of those who have the ability and the willingness to put aside their personal and political animosities and seek some way to bring together everyone involved to begin a healthy dialogue, one without finger-pointing and name-calling. Until that happens, I guess Iâm on the side of those who are the most negatively affected by this dysfunctional family feud. In case anyone needs a refresher course as to who those folks are and the issues they are dealing with, allow me to introduce just a few of them. The transsexual FTM who has lost custody of his child when he began transition; the butch lesbian who lost her job because she refused to wear makeup or shave her legs; the crossdresser whose wife is seeking a divorce and custody of the children he adores; the effeminate gay man beaten to death and crucified on a fence on a lonely Midwestern plain; the 17-year-old MTF doing tricks in the back alleys of San Francisco because her parents kicked her out when they found âhimâ wearing dresses; the FTM who died of uterine cancer because he couldnât get insurance approval for a hysterectomy after he had completed sexual reassignment. Ultimately, it is these transgender, transsexual and gender- variant people who have the most to lose if someone doesnât step up to the plate to end this.
"Gender, Identity Politics, and Eating Our Own" by Alexander John Goodrum (2001)
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roommate aus are always on the mind and now im thinking abt roommate carmen berzatto. someone at the bear (tina, fak, richie, sydney, so many options) go and visits carmy at his apartment that he has yet to fully move into. the maze of half-opened boxes isn't even what disturbs carmy's guest, its the sheer dissatisfaction of a place that the apartment is in general. it's rundown, the living quarters of someone struggling, which carmy certainly is not (well, not for the most part).
"you deserve someplace better," is what they tell him, and carmy might not believe that he deserves someplace nicer, he's still up for a change of scenery. his therapist thinks it would be good for him. so carmy is looking at places on his laptop, jittery and scarred hands clicking on place after place, blue eyes flicking across the screen and reading details.
resort style pool, private conference rooms on each floor, located in a prominent area....
buzzword after buzzword that catches carmy's attention. but then the price tag motivates him to click out of the website and try again.
he does go tour a few places, but nothing is up to par. the kitchen is too small or the appliances are too faulty, and if this isn't an issue then the price is. chicago is expensive, especially to stay in a somewhat close location to the bear which happens to be a priority for carmy now.
he starts to give up and begins to resign himself to living where he is now for the foreseeable future. until a recommendation comes.
"i have a friend in one of those upscale apartments who needs a roommate. if that's what you're interested in."
and carmy really isn't all that interested. at least he doesn't think he is. but then he's sending a text message after rereading it once, twice, and thrice just to be sure. first impressions and all.
he meets you over coffee and accepts your invitation to come back and see the place. clean, good location, very nice appliances, and a big room for carmy.
there is no reason for carmy to have a roommate, he reasons this with himself late at night when sleep evades him as it typically does. but he likes you, something inside of him is drawn to your energy, and he suddenly craves companionship in its most innocent form.
so he accepts your offer and you help him move into your place. and things are good and innocent for a while.
it takes a minute for the two of you to get your schedules acclimated. you work normal hours and rarely bring your work home with you, but when you do you're sitting at the kitchen island on your computer late at night when carmy comes home from the bear. off days are spent barely seeing each other, carmy choosing to sleep until he needs to go run some sort of errand and you half knocked out on the couch with some show playing in the back.
but the two of you get used to having another person in your home eventually. you become friends, relatively close, and its then that carmy realizes he really likes you. well, he doesn't realize it until a pretty girl at the grocery store shows interest in him and carmy immediately starts comparing her to you.
her smile isn't as kind and effortless as yours. her perfume doesn't make his heart rate spike like yours does. he didn't feel that intense internal buzzing when she first looked at him like he did with you.
of fucking course he's fallen for his roommate. and maybe he should do something about it, but that's not the carmen berzatto way.
the carmen berzatto way entails ignoring it until he physically cannot anymore. and that's exactly what carmy intends to do!
#not proofreading this any errors are actually not real#carmysworld!#carmy berzatto x reader#wrote this just to remind myself that i can write btw
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SEOUL, Feb. 12 (Yonhap) -- North Korea on Wednesday denounced U.S. President Donald Trump's recent proposal to take over the Gaza Strip and resettle its Palestinian residents, saying that national sovereignty cannot be subject to negotiations with Washington.
The Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) said in a commentary on its website, "The world is now boiling like a porridge pot over the U.S.' bombshell announcement," without directly mentioning Trump by name.
Earlier this month, Trump made a surprise proposal during a news conference with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, suggesting the U.S. "take over" the Gaza Strip and permanently resettle its Palestinian residents.
North Korea said the U.S.' nature to survive through "slaughter and robbery" and its "hegemonic, invasive" ambition for world dominance are being clearly demonstrated by the Gaza plan.
"It's not an issue limited to the Gaza Strip only," the KCNA said.
North Korea also accused the U.S. administration of disregarding international law and principles, citing Trump's proposal to acquire Greenland, his demand to take back the Panama Canal and the recent renaming of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America.
The unipolar era, in which the U.S. stood as the sole superpower, has already passed, the KCNA said, urging Washington to "wake up from its anachronistic delusion and immediately stop violating other countries' dignity and sovereignty."
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As the world marks 80 years since the liberation of Auschwitz, one of Germanyâs most prominent Holocaust scholars says twisting the facts about the Nazi extermination of 6 million Jews is far more harmful than outright denial â and that such distortion is âa stepping stone from antisemitism into the mainstream.â
Kathrin Meyer, secretary-general of the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance, or IHRA, said she considers Holocaust distortion particularly dangerous, especially as the number of survivors dwindles with each passing year. This week, when the world focuses on International Holocaust Remembrance Day, only 50 survivors took part in ceremonies at the Nazi death camp in Poland â down from 300 just five years ago.
âObviously, itâs an insult to the victims, but itâs also a threat to our democracy because you will not find a single radical, anti-democratic, nationalistic, imperialistic group ideology that does not have a distorted view of the Holocaust,â Meyer said about distortions that are often disguised as differing opinions rather than outright lies.
Tracking Holocaust denial and distortion is part of its wider mandate to address âcontemporary challenges related to the Holocaust and genocide of the Roma people,â according to its website.
One example Meyer offered is that of Russian President Vladimir Putinâs constant vilification of neighboring Ukraine as a âNazi governmentâ despite the fact that Ukraineâs Jewish president, Volodymyr Zelensky, was democratically elected.
âItâs always those who attack freedom, liberal views, diversity and pluralistic societies,â said Meyer, who is stepping down from her position after two decades. âThey use Holocaust distortion for their political gain.â
Meyer, who is not Jewish, has led the Berlin-based IHRA as the definition of antisemitism it developed became a flashpoint in political debates.
While many Jewish groups and a number of governments and municipalities have adopted the definition as a useful tool in identifying and fighting antisemitism, some critics say it could stifle free speech by chilling or criminalizing legitimate criticism of Israeli policy.
Meyer recalled that it took IHRA three years to adopt a definition of antisemitism that satisfied all its members, which include 35 member states, eight observer countries and nine global partners including the United Nations, the European Union, UNESCO and the Claims Conference.Â
That definition, Meyer said, is now âone of the most important tools everâ in the fight against Jew hatred.
âBefore the adoption of this definition, I was confronted time and again with statements like âOh, in our country, there is no antisemitism.â We donât have this discussion any longer,â said Meyer. âWe discuss what should and shouldnât be considered antisemitism, but antisemitism as such is acknowledged as a problem in all our societies.â
IHRA defines antisemitism as having a âcertain perception of Jews that may be expressed as hatredâ toward them. That perception includes certain kinds of rhetoric and action aimed at Israel and its supporters â for example, denying Jews the right to self-determination or calling Israel a âracist endeavor.â
Proponents of the definition see those examples as an important response to events like the sharp rise in vandalism of synagogues and cemeteries, verbal and physical attacks against Jews and âanti-Zionistâ incitement since the Oct. 7, 2023, invasion by Hamas and Israelâs subsequent war in Gaza.
âThe events of Oct. 7 have tragically proven us right. There cannot be a debate on antisemitism without looking into the completely biased criticism of Israel that we often see,â Meyer said. âThis dramatic increase in antisemitic incidents came right after the worst attack on Jews since the Holocaust. The fact that this didnât lead to more solidarity but to more antisemitism shows how deep this hatred goes, and how irrational it often is.â
Meyer, 60, knows a thing or two about deep and irrational hatred of Jews â and about the power of pushing back against it. She was born and raised in Celle, a village in Lower Saxony, just a few kilometers from the infamous Bergen-Belsen concentration camp where Anne Frank died.
âThis really picturesque little town, with these medieval houses and a castle, looks almost like a Disneyland film set. It wasnât affected by the war. No bombings, no nothing,â she recalled. âI was born in 1964, only 19 years after World War II ended. But there was a big silence in my town about Bergen-Belsen.â
That silence extended to her own family, said Meyer, describing her âliberationâ at facing the facts of what her country had done to the Jews.
âI was among the first Germans for whom the Holocaust was part of the school curriculum,â she said. âMy motherâs side of the family was very much opposed to the Nazi system, but my grandmother on my fatherâs side was a very committed Nazi. I grew up with her views as well, and Iâve had to fight that my entire lifetime.â
Later on, she earned a masterâs degree in educational science and a PhD in history from Berlinâs Technical University, specializing in denazification and reeducation in Germany after 1945.
âFor me, it was liberating to face the facts, to step up to the responsibility I have as a German of this generation â and to not shy away from it,â she said.
IHRA was founded as a temporary task force by then-Swedish Prime Minister Goran Persson. Along with Britainâs Tony Blair and U.S. President Bill Clinton, he organized a Stockholm forum held 25 years ago â on Jan. 27, 2000, that was attended by 46 heads of state and foreign ministers. There, they signed the Stockholm Declaration and committed their countries to support Holocaust education remembrance and research.
âThat was revolutionary, because until then, it was mainly Jewish organizations that had commemorated the Holocaust, but it was never really seen as a governmental responsibility,â she said. âThis is where we started. We had very few member countries at that point, but the others were invited. The snowball effect started, and soon it became an international institution with 35 member countries and global impact.â
Besides Jewish victims, IHRA also advocates on behalf of the Roma people, the minority ethnic group which Meyer said âare definitely the most discriminated group in Europe when it comes to hate crimes on a daily level.â
During World War II, the Nazis operated a concentration camp near Prague specifically for slaughtering the Roma. For years after the war, Czech farmers used the camp as a pig pen. Eventually, local authorities erected a small memorial.
âHowever, when I visited this place in 2016, I was astonished,â she said. âYou see these plaques and rebuilt barracks, and some references to the Roma community that was destroyed, and then in the background, you hear these pigs screaming and you smell ammonia. It was so terrible.â
Thanks to IHRAâs then-president, Romanian diplomat Mihnea Constantinescu, Czech authorities moved the pig farm elsewhere and constructed a proper memorial site.
One of Meyerâs biggest concerns is the immense power of Big Tech, she said, citing âthe problems we face just with Meta getting rid of fact-checkingâ on Facebook, and the increasing virulent hate speech spread on platforms like Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.
A recent UNESCO study of 4,000 pieces of content collected in June and July 2021 showed that 10% of such content on Facebook, 15% on Twitter (now X) and nearly half on Telegram either denied or distorted Holocaust history.
âThese tech giants do whatever they want, and I have the feeling this is so unbalanced. Itâs something that worries me tremendously,â Meyer said, though sheâs not necessarily concerned that artificial intelligence will worsen those problems.
âThereâs no question AI brings huge risks, but it also brings great opportunities, because AI cannot only be used by the bad guys. It can be used by us tooâfor example, in keeping the memory of survivors alive,â she said. âItâs not a curse. Itâs in our world, and we need to use it.â
Asked about her legacy, Meyer said sheâs proud to have helped turn IHRA into a âglobal playerâ while putting Holocaust distortion on the agenda.
âMaking that a major topic was definitely one of the big passions I brought to this job,â she said. âWe live in a world of deep divisions within our societies, and since weâre a consensus-based organization, we need to keep the consensus alive to confront antisemitism, extremism, hate speech and the challenge posed by AI and social media. This is a huge challenge, but I think thatâs also the only way to go.â
Meyerâs successor at IHRA is Michaela KĂźchler, a veteran German diplomat who chaired the organization in 2021, and who currently serves as Germanyâs consul-general in Chennai, India.
âShe brings the drive we need to move this organization ahead and to not shy away from challenges,â Meyer said of KĂźchler, adding that âafter 20 years in this business, I need a break.â
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Viral Diseases What You Need to Know! #pencis #researchers #infectious...
#youtube#Website: International Conference on Infectious Diseases#Visit Our Website : infectious-diseases-conferences.pencis.com Nomination Link : infectious-diseases-conferences.pencis.com/award-nomination
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college advice? iâm starting in the fall đ
oh FUCK
Kay, so, Iâm no professional here but I am about to pass into my 6th semester, so will hopefully soon be wrapping up my 3rd year of college so hereâs some of advice
First off, go in the mornings, if you have a chance to do your schedule, go in the morning, itâs so fucking heavy to have to go in the evenings, did that once, never again
try to find a website or blog where students can give teachers reviews, these exist for most colleges and while it can be very hard to build your schedule based on the best teachers and I wouldnât recommend doing that, it can help you be mentally prepared and know what each teacher values most ahead of time
always have smth to entertain yourself. You WILL have teachers who donât show up or constantly cancel classes and while its fun using that time to catch up with friends, you should take a book or smth with you to keep yourself entertained during down time
if you have AFIâs (I have no fucking clue what theyâre called in english but theyâre activities, conferences, talks, outings, stuff like that) check how many you can do per semester and keep up with them, donât leave them till last minute. For example, I need 14 to finish my career and can do up till 4 valid ones per semester but can only do them till my 7th semester. So check on that if you do have them as a requirement as well
Make sure you check out every part of your campus to know the best hangout spots. This is mostly just for yourself and to not get lost.
Hang out at your library if you have one, check out what they have even if you donât particularly plan to use that many books, it can help motivate you and find more passion for your career if youâre feeling down or having doubts.
learn how to properly reference articles (perplexity is a great tool to find references)
make sure the teachers at least recognize you and, I would recommend to limit yourself to a certain number of classes you can miss. I try to limit myself to skip 3 classes from each teacher and try to not miss at all, the teachers recognizing me as someone who always goes has given me second chances and opportunities for extra points.
ALWAYS DO OPTIONAL PROJECTS FOR EXTRA POINTS, even if you feel confident in the subject, better to be safe than sorry
carry a cardigan or a light sweater and a small umbrella. You never know what teacher is gonna put the AC like itâs antartica and an umbrella can save you from sunburns and unexpected rain
carry headache pills or any medication you use semi-frequently, also a small utensils kit cause who likes using disposable utensils when you can carry your own + itâs better for the environment, also a hair tie
have an âemergency kitâ, I have one that barely takes up a lot of space in my backpack and I am just now having to refill it 5 semesters in, I have mini deodorant, a small toothbrush/toothpaste Iâve never actually used, mini wet wipes, mini hand sanitizer, mini perfume, mini brush, toilet paper, band-aids, pads and kleenex.
^ these last 3 are cause my mama taught me to always be prepared and cause I personally can be a bit paranoid, Iâm the mom-friend who always has anything anyone could ever need :) so those are according to the type of person you are. I also carry an UNO card game for when multiple teachers cancel on us (yes my backpack is very heavy but the paranoia canât catch me if Iâm prepared)
If youâre propense to low-sugar do NOT skip breakfast and try to carry a small snack, or in general always carry a small snack
if your career involves having to go to the laboratory, LISTEN TO THE INTERNS/LAB ASSISTANTS, half the time, theyâll know more than the teacher
remember, when it comes to group projects, you donât have friends, you have classmates. Someone can be a great friend but an awful classmate and I am not risking a grade over a lazy friend, prepare yourself to separate those 2
try to figure out what to listen to when doing hw or studying, me personally, classical music (specifically cello music from the barroque period) really helps me focus
ALWAYS DO YOUR HOMEWORK, those are some of the easiest points to get
Finally, donât be afraid to decorate your backpack! One of the funnest things of college to me (cause I was at a strict school for middle school and spent highschool in pandemic) has been to decorate my backpack with pins!
Iâve found a great thing about college is that genuienly no one cares about your interests and you can freely express yourself without fear of being bullied or ridiculed. Everyone is far too tired or focused to care. At least that has been my experience so far, be ridiculous if you like
I have ATLA pins, an asexual flag, spider-gwen, a matching carebear with my bestie, the school mascot and a dinasour (still looking for a winx pin)
I think thatâs all I can come up with for now, so yeah, hope this helps and best of luck bestie!
#college life#college#Iâve been doing this far too long#Can yall tell im paranoid?#winx club#college advice
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1.20.25 ⢠Today the United States Climate Alliance delivered a letter to UN Climate Change Executive Secretary Simon Stiell, making it clear to the global community that our climate work will continue regardless of federal action or inaction.
If you're not familiar with the U.S. Climate Alliance, they are a bipartisan climate action coalition of 24 governors representing approximately 55% of the U.S. population and 60% of the U.S. economy.
To read their letter, read more here or explore their press release on their website. Onward!
â˘â˘â˘
Mr. Simon Stiell, Executive Secretary
United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change
P.O. Box 260124
D-53153 Bonn, Germany
January 20, 2025
Dear Executive Secretary Stiell,
We write as co-chairs of the United States Climate Alliance, a bipartisan coalition of two dozen governors representing nearly 60 percent of the U.S. economy and 55 percent of the U.S. population, to make it clear to you, and the rest of the world, that we will continue Americaâs work to achieve the goals of the Paris Agreement and slash climate pollution.
As you know, this is not the first time weâve responded to this challenge in the U.S. Our coalition was launched after the Presidentâs decision to withdraw our country from the Paris Agreement back in 2017. Since then, our reach, resolve, and impact have only grown.
In fact, our states and territories are now on track to meet our near-term climate target by reducing collective net greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions 26 percent below 2005 levels by 2025. Our recent progress reflects a wave of ambitious state policies and federal funding enacted over the last few years â and it builds on our coalitionâs 15-year trend of cutting emissions while simultaneously growing our economies. We have continued to ramp up our longer-term commitments as well, pledging to reduce GHG emissions at least 50-52 percent by 2030 and 61-66 percent by 2035, below 2005 levels, in alignment with the U.S. Nationally Determined Contribution. Most importantly, this action is bringing better health, cleaner air, good-paying jobs, new economic development, and lower costs to our communities.
Our states and territories continue to have broad authority under the U.S. Constitution to protect our progress and advance the climate solutions we need. This does not change with a shift in federal administration. States across our coalition are implementing a suite of policies and programs to secure our net-zero future, including statewide and regional carbon markets, 100 percent clean energy standards, and methane reduction programs for the oil and gas, waste, and agricultural sectors, among many others. We are also deploying billions of dollars to eliminate pollution in our communities and sustain our countryâs clean energy boom.
Itâs critical for the international community to know that climate action will continue in the U.S. The Alliance will bring this message to the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Brazil (COP30) later this year â just as we have at every COP since our coalitionâs founding â as we work to implement our climate goals. We are also committed to tracking and reporting on our progress and look forward to working with you and the global community to identify the most impactful ways to do so. The Alliance is proud to publish an annual report each year on our latest action, and we are enclosing here our most recent report for your reference.
We will not turn our back on Americaâs commitments. For our health and our future, we will press forward.
Sincerely,
Governor Kathy Hochul, Co-Chair
State of New York
Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham, Co-Chair
State of New Mexico
#us climate alliance#environmentalism#climate action#climate change#us politics#traumerica#good news
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A leaked USAID document outlines a plan to engineer a global famine before the year 2030 in order to depopulate the world and centralize control over the population.
According to a 1974Â Kissinger Report, reducing human population numbers must be the top priority for globalists if they wish to realize their dream of a âNew World Orderâ.
Granitegrok.com reports: As Human Life International recounts:
Although the United States government has issued hundreds of policy papers dealing with various aspects of American national security since 1974, NSSM-200 continues to be the foundational document on U.S. government population control. It therefore continues to represent official United States policy on government population control and was (still) posted on the USAID website (until recently). The subject of NSSM-200 is âImplications of Worldwide Population Growth for U.S. Security and Overseas Interests.â This document, published shortly after the first major international population conference in Bucharest, was the result of collaboration among the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), and the Departments of State, Defense and Agriculture.â
This transition has morphed from an environmental to a globalist socialist movement, manifested in the grand redistribution schemes of the Green New Deal and recent proclamations by the WHO, WEF, and World Bank (and the, thankfully defunct, Biden Administration) that a âwhole-of-governmentâ approach must be employed at all levels of human society â especially agriculture â to forestall certain doom. That global empowerment IS a certain doom and will do nothing to respond to the ecological threats exploited as justification for absolute control.
Later permutations of this plan have matured into more stealthy obfuscations, but the same result is visible â elitists and powerful corporations staging a final coup to eliminate individual human choices, nation-states and their cultures, and anything akin to democratic rights or processes. All totalitarian regimes employ this or a similar ruse, regardless of their ideological roots.
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Breaking:
In light of the results of the recent Roman Catholic conclave, LDS church president Russell Nelson has announced during a surprise press conference that the temple Endowment ceremony will immediately reintroduce the part where participants swear an oath of vengeance against the state of Illinois. "It's what Brother Brigham would have wanted," he told reporters, "Illinois straight-up kills our guy, and now those damn catholics get to walk around like they own the place? I don't think so, buddy!"
President Nelson additionally urged faithful latter-day saints to make the total destruction of the State of Illinois a particular focus of their personal worship: "Members are encouraged to include petitions for divine judgment to befall the accursed state in their private and family prayers during this difficult time," he said, "Hell, throw it in there right after the 'nourish and strengthen' bit at mealtimes. Let's really bring down the thunder on this one."
The official Church Newsroom announcement has included additional information about plans to retool future Come Follow Me curriculum, as well as links to new "Avenging Angel" positions on the church's Employment Services website for members who desire to contribute in "more active, yet still plausibly deniable" ways.
At time of reporting, President Nelson and several Apostles were seen at SLC International Airport, coating their shoes in dust and boarding a plane bound for Davenport, Iowa.
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International Conference on Linguistics Communication (LingComm25) - registrations open!
From the LingComm website:
The International Conference on Linguistics Communication, LingComm25, is an online conference for people who do (or who enjoy) science communication in linguistics. LingComm25 is happening 7â10 April, 2025. We use the Gather platform, where you wander around the conference space as a little avatar among the other attendees. You can attend sessions in the conference rooms, wander close to other people to chat with them, hang out by the pool, and look at posters.
Registrations for LingComm25 are now open!
From the registration eventbrite page:
There are differently priced tickets for the conference. This is meant to make the conference accessible to everyone, while still covering costs. Everyone who registers will have access to the same content, regardless of how much they paid. If you are willing and able to donate, you can choose to add a donation to your ticket. This helps subsidise costs for students and others unable to pay the full costs, as well as the conference in general.
I am not an organiser for the conference this year, but I've registered and really looking forward to it. You can check out the program online. I'll be giving a talk on "How-To: Leverage Lingcomm Clout in Academia" , which will be very late at night for me, so there's a good chance I'm going to be giving rather unfiltered suggestions.

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