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telemna-hyelle · 3 years ago

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And I'll Always Love You--A Zelink Fic for Valentine's Day

(It's Still Valentine's Day Somewhere in the World!!!!)

Ahem

Anyway.

I know I've been really quiet lately, and I do hope to be dropping by more, but I've had a lot on my plate recently and that continues to be the case! I just haven't had the energy to do pretty much any tumblring. I love you guys, though, and Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

I've chosen to celebrate the way I assume y'all knew I would, with a Hyrule Warriors--Linked Universe Adjacent Zelink fic. This, I discovered, is actually canon for my series on Ao3, This Is My Family. It came as a bit of a surprise because I only realized it was canon like halfway through. Until then i thought of it as a fun AU.

But nope, it's canon, and so... enjoy!

Without Further Ado~

Happy Valentine's Day! 💖💘💝

“Well, this isn’t good.” Link shove a hand into his bangs, fingers digging underneath the brim of his cap, and tried to breathe and push down the panic swarming in his stomach.

The panic wasn’t being cooperative, and the echoing, angry snorts and clanks and crashes of the horde of monsters above weren’t helping matters.

He sucked in another breath. “Anyone got any ideas?”

Link looked around his little group of companions, taking in their pale, set faces.

The silence in the chamber was deafening.

This definitelywasn’t good.

It had all started out simple enough. The tip had come in that Cia was searching for a certain magical tome which contained a large amount of spells, one which the higher ups absolutely didn’t want falling into the wrong hands. Especially not Cia’s.

Finding the book hadn’t been too difficult. It’d played an important part of the quest of the Hero of Hyrule, and his quests had actually been generally well-documented by the Queen Zeldas of his time. General Impa was very familiar with the lore, and so she’d pointed them in the right direction, and Link had assembled his team. It was supposed to be a bit of a stealth mission, so he’d picked a small group—besides Proxi, he brought along Sheik, Mask, and Wind. Then Tetra had volunteered herself for the mission out of boredom (she missed captaining a ship when they were campaigning on land), and they set out.

The book itself was only in the third room of the dungeon, and most of the monsters weren’t too strong—though the statues in the mandhandla room were a pain. They had to use a fair bit of bombs against the mandhandla and the darknuts, however, and supplies were running low. Wind found the entrance to the stairway awfully fast—though he’d just shrugged, grinned, and mumbled something about ‘tips from a friend’ when the Link asked how he’d figured it out.

Link decided he’d add it to his list of ‘weird things Wind has said and done’ when he got back to the tent. He’d figure out what was going on with the kid one of these days.

But once they got the book, that’s when the troubles began. A huge horde of monsters had swarmed the dungeon, leaving them trapped in the book’s chamber.

At this point, Link was beginning to think this was a trap, and they’d fallen right into it.

“How many did you say were there again, Proxi?”

Proxi fluttered nervously on his shoulder. “…there were too many to get a good count, but between the three rooms… I’d say over a hundred? It’s packed.”

“Great.” Mask scoffed, though Link noticed his face seemed even paler. Wind settled a hand on his shoulder, though his usual smile seemed somewhat strained.

“And…” Proxi piped up, her tone anxious. “…the manhandla respawned.”

There was a moment of silence.

“And I think the darknuts, bubbles, and gibdos did, too.”

“Din’s fire.”

Sheik’s gaze was dark, and she tapped her fingers restlessly on the hilt of one of her kunai. “How is our supply of bombs?”

Link, Wind, and Mask grimaced as one. Tetra folded her arms with a scowl.

“Well, thatdoesn’t look good.” Her sharp gaze bounced from one person to the next. “Well, what’s our plan?”

Wind put on his thinking face (which somehow managed to pull a twinge of amusement in Link’s chest, despite the dire circumstances), and Mask formed a scowl to rival Tetra’s.

Shiek, however, simply met Link’s gaze, her red eyes somehow both piercing and earnest. “Even if this whole venture turns out to be a trap,” She said, her voice stubbornly smooth, as if she was fighting with all her might to keep a calm veneer, “We still cannot risk Cia getting her hands on this book, and we cannot stay here in this chamber forever.”

“So what other option is there?” Tetra snapped, and this time Wind reached out to her, instead. His fingers wound their way in between hers, and he grinned while squeezing gently.

“Don’t worry too much, Tetra, I’m sure the Captain has a plan, like always.”

Mask snorted. “I’ll bet it’s a stupid plan.”

Sheik and Link exchanged a look. “Well?” Sheik said, her voice soft, but filled with a burden of realization.

Link took a deep breath, and straightened his shoulders in spite of fear. “Sheik and I are the best at handling large groups. We’ll handle the masses, and you four can focus on the manhandla and making a break for it.”

The sound of water dripping from the damp stone above filled the room.

“See?” Mask said, his voice suddenly sharper than Link had ever heard it. “I toldyou it’d be a stupid plan.”

Wind’s grip on Tetra’s fingers had suddenly become tight, bleaching his knuckles. “I had to admit it, but Mask is right, this time.” His brows lowered over his eyes as he shot the two adults a blazing look. “Do you really think we’re going to let you do something like that?”

“It’s not up for debate.” Sheik said crisply. “It’s the only plan we have, and—”

“What do you mean, ‘its not up for debate?” Tetra snapped. “Like Cyclos we’re just gonna stand by and watch you sacrifice yourselves!”

“You’re just doing it cause you think we’re kids and need to be protected!” Mask added, his voice rising as his fists clenched. Proxi zipped over to him and fluttered anxiously above his shoulder. “We can fight! We can protect you!”

Wind’s voice joined, sharp as a sword. “I made a promise, and you’d have to keelhaul me first if you think—”

“It’s not because we’re trying to protect you!” Link yelled, mostly untruthfully.

Three flat stares bored into him. Link winced, but soldiered on as he did best. “This is the best chance we have at succeeding, and we’re entrusting the mission’s success to you. Besides, Sheik and I have no intention of sacrificing ourselves.”

That was… mostly true. Link certainly didn’t plan on dying, and didn’t think Sheik was either—but all the same, it’d be an uphill battle to keep their souls attached to their bodies.

The kids looked slightly mollified, but there was still a stubborn mulishness to their expression. Tetra’s tone was could rival acid when she spoke next, cocking her head to one side with a hint of a sneer.

“Well, if you say so. Now what, though?”

Shiek pinched the bridge of her nose. “What do you mean, Tetra?”

The pirate’s glare hardened. “Well, you two are about to go off and sacrifice yourselves like two heroes in the old stories.”

“We’re not—” Sheik tried to say, but Tetra trampled right over the sheikah’s interjection. “So what—are you gonna have a bit of a heart to heart? Get some secrets off your chest before you two idiots march off to your doom?”

There was a beat of silence, a beat in which Link’s brain said That sounds like a good idea.

“Tetra, that’s not—”

Link’s mouth opened and ejected words before his brain caught up with him. “Marry me.”

Everything froze, with the exception of four pairs of very wide eyes snapping to meet his.

Link blinked, realized what he had just said, and turned absolutely red.

Sheik stared at him, stiff and frozen as an armos. “Do—do you mean it?”

Her voice was a whisper, and it echoed in the silence of the chamber.

Link swallowed hard. He hadn’t meant to say it, but now that he had—he couldn’t rightfully take it back.

Because he didwant that. He wanted it desperately; he had for a long time. And with her eyes on him, full of a strange mixture of hopelessness and hope, how could he be anything but truthful?

Goddesses help me, he thought, and lifted his chin resolutely. “I do.” He bowed, deeply, laying one hand over his heart, and squeezing his eyes shut against both failure and success. “Please, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

No one else saw it, because Link’s eyes were closed and everyone else’s were on the Captain, but Wind had relaxed. His shoulders and limbs were no longer taught, and color had returned to his cheeks, and a sparkle to his eyes.

No one noticed this, though, especially not Sheik, whose gaze could not be pulled from Link’s bowed head. Her hands trembled, before her long fingers slowly curled into fists, the tremble transforming from fear to resolve.

“Yes,” She said, and her voice was soft. “I will.”

Link’s head shot up, swiftly followed by the rest of his body, and the two of them stared at each other for a long, long moment. Everyone else stared, too.

Mask broke first. “Are you even taking this seriously?” His voice rose to a pitch on the last word, straining and cracking, and Link’s stomach sank as he say a tell-tale wetness gleaming in his eyes. “You—you could—you could di—”

“It’ll be all right, Mask,” Wind said, his voice ringing with confidence, and he grinned and winked at his pseudo little brother. “Put our trust in the Captain and Sheik! They’re good at getting out of tight spots.”

This was enough to pull Sheik and Link’s attention away from each other, and now it was everyone’s turn to stare at Wind. The aura of poorly-concealed fear was completely gone—the sailor was grinning as if all was right with the world, and they weren’t trapped in a musty room beneath a dungeon with a horde of monsters on the doorstep.

Wind didn’t seem to mind, however, instead he simply grinned brighter, and turned his wink on Tetra. “Well? You up to marrying them?”

Tetra’s mouth dropped open. “Me?”

“Of course, you!” Wind replied. “Who else is gonna do it? Mask?”

Mask despite still being completely bewildered, screwed up his face in disgust, as if on instinct.

Tetra rolled her eyes. “I can’t marry them! Why would you even think of something like that?”

“Ship Captains can marry people, right?” Wind charged forward cheerfully, as determined as a wind blowing relentlessly forward, attempting to catch all their sails and drag them inexorably in his wake.

Tetra’s brows flattened, and she spread her arms wide with a scoff. “Does it looklike we’re on a ship, genius?”

The sailor merely shrugged. “Well, what about Queens? Queens can marry people, right?”

Tetra opened her mouth, closed it, and scowled. “I mean, yes, but I’m not a Queen yet—”

“You got into a fight with Linebeck over a cargo full of Hyrulean relics and declared yourself Queen Tetra Zelda Nohansen Hyrule I.”

Red crawled across her cheekbones. Her mouth snapped shut, and she folded her arms, sticking her nose in the air. “Fine.” She spun to face Link and Sheik and fixed them with a glare. “Well? Are we doing this?”

Link and Sheik shared a glance. Sheik tipped her head in a nod, and Link smiled shakily.

Tetra sucked in a deep breath and threw her head back, straightening her shoulders and trying to seem as regal as a proper pirate queen. “Alright! Let’s get this show started. Now, you two—uhh…”

She paused a moment to consider. Her head drooped a little, and she scuffed at the algae on the stone floor with the toe of her sandal. Her voice was a mumble when she spoke.

“Do… have any of you guys seen a wedding before?”

There was an awkward pause. Proxi fluttered. Link and Sheik stared blankly. Wind shook his head.

Mask was suspiciously silent. Wind kicked his ankle.

“Fess up sprite, I know you did. You were screeching about it with the kissy face stuff.”

Mask’s face was now as red as potion, and he crossed his arms and looked to one side frantically. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Proxi zoomed down and fluttered in front of his nose, so close that Mask’s blue eyes went cross-eyed trying to get a good look. The stand-off lasted for several second, but then Mask’s shoulders slumped and his defiance wilted.

“Okay…” he groaned, and shuffled over to Tetra, shooting looks of wounded protest at Proxi and Wind. “I don’t remember much, but there was stuff like they held hands, and said they want to marry each other, and promised something nice, and then they were married and did all the gross kissyface stuff.”

Tetra frowned. This was less than helpful, but she was the pirate queen, and she was nothing if not resourceful. She’d make do with what she had. She gave Link and Sheik a pointed look and gestured sharply, and the two adults stepped closer, tentatively reaching out and clasping hands.

Link was pretty sure his ears were burning hotter than Death Mountain, and Sheik’s gaze was nervously fixed on the ground, but it allowed him to catch a glimpse of pink flushing the skin above her mask.

She cleared her throat, straightened her posture, and clapped her hands together. “Alright! You!” She pointed at Sheik. “Do you want to marry the palm tree over there in the blue scarf?”

Sheik’s head shot up, and her eyes crinkled warmly as she smiled behind her mask as she tilted her head to one side, sending the ornament at the end of her braid swinging like a pendulum. “Yes, I do.” She said, her voice soft and gentle, like a brush of her fingertips against his heart. “And…” she paused a moment, thinking. “I promise to stand by his side, always… and…” A spark of mischief lit in her eye, making Link’s heart skip, as the smile behind her mask surely transformed into a smirk. “…and make sure he doesn’t starve on charcoal.”

Link choked on the laugh and the tears duking it out in his throat. Tetra’s daggered gaze zoomed in on him, next, and his shoulders automatically straightened, even as his heart began to beat a nervous rhythm.

“And you!” Tetra said, her finger pointing at him. “Do you want to marry the woman here that’s completely out of your league?”

“Yes,” Link said, and his voice was deep and rough, “I do.” He squeezed her fingers gently, and dug at all the words and feelings he’d been burying for months in the deepest part of his heart. He would do his best, but he knew what almost certainly awaited at the end of their plan.

He wished… he wished he had the courage to speak earlier, or that they had more time here, so he could tell her all those thoughts he’d stored up. But he didn’t.

So instead he stripped them down to their cores, to the bones that made them up, to the words that bound all those thoughts and feelings together.

“And I promise to love her, and guard her back, always. And…” His own mouth crooked into a smirk. “…and keep your clothes from falling apart.”

Sheik’s shoulders shook in what could either be a laugh or a sob, and Link tugged her slightly closer, his heart soaring—

“Hold your horses, Captain, she’s not done yet.” Wind laughed, and Link felt his ears turning red again.

Tetra merely snorted, raising one superior eyebrow. “Well, by the power vested in me by the Gods, my ship, the Goddess’ Blood, and my own glorious self—” She raised her hands above her head and clapped them grandly. “I pronounce you married.” A grin spread across her face despite herself. “You two morons can do kissyface now.”

At the same moment, Link tugged Sheik forward as she fell into his arms and frantically tugged down her mask. Link dimly registered Mask’s cry of disgust and Wind and Tetra’s hoots, and then all that vanished, because Sheik’s arms were winding about his shoulders, and he was hugging her to him with an arm around her waist and a hand cradling the back of her head, the bandages of her headdress rough against his fingertips. Her lips were chapped and bitten, yet they sent a heady rush of warmth down to his stomach, and he kissed her harder, trying to put all his feelings, all his heart, all his soul into this moment.

If this would be the only chance he had to kiss her, than Farore help him, he was going to kiss her.

The trapdoor leading to the chamber flew open with a bang, and a cheerful head of blue hair popped through.

“Hey, guys!” Lana chirped, scrambling onto solid ground to make way for Impa. “We found out something fishy was going on so we came to rescue you! There were a lot of monsters bu Impa brought plenty of reinforcements and—”

Her voice died off the exact moment Impa, who had just jumped straight up, off the ladder, and landed gracefully on the stone, turned and spotted the hero and the sheikah.

“Whatby All the goddesses—”

At the sound of Impa’s voice, Link and Sheik simultaneously jerked away, stumbling back and scrambling away from each other like children caught conspiring in front of a cookie jar.

“There was great concern about all of your safety, and we come here to find you doing this?” She propped her hands on her hips, looming over the newly married couple with a grim look. “What in all of Hyrule possessed you to—”

Her voice died in her throat, and her eyes went very, very wide. She was staring, but not at Link—so his gaze instinctively followed hers to it’s focus.

Sheik, in the confusion (and massive embarrassment of the moment) had forgotten to replace her mask.

For the first time since he met her, Link saw the true face of his wife.

His mouth dropped open, and the only coherent thought in his mind was, ’Wow, her blue eyes are just as pretty as her red ones’.

Impa was slightly more coherent, though she, unlike Link, didn’t have any massive revelations about a new spouse to hinder the squirrels running frantic circles around her brain.

“Your Highness?” She gasped.

“Zelda?” Link said, his eyes widening further.

And Wind burst into gales of laughter.

The End

{~???To Be Continued???~}

#tellie writes stuff #my fanfics #zelink #hw zelink #linked unvierse #link #zelda #lu warriors #lu artemis #lu wind #lu mask #loz tetra #loz hyrule warriors #This Is My Family #and a happy valentines day to you all!#i had so much fun with this one if you can't tell #thank you to Kiwi for helping me come up with the macguffin!!!#love you lots kiwi bird

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lucky-sevens · 5 years ago

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mechs deep lore compilation post

so! maybe you’ve read the other compilation post i made of basic lore/how to get into the mechs! maybe you want to know more! or maybe you’re a fan already and want to see how deep down this rabbit hole you can get!

well, good news for you: i have gone down the rabbit hole and hit bedrock only to find maki yamazaki standing by my side with a pickaxe! it is time for mechs lore part 2: electric boogaloo also known as ‘wow blue have you considered sleep’

rest under the cut!

i’ve tried to organize this, but given how many random facts there are, it’s hard! decided to start off with lore for each character (in order of them joining the mechs in-universe), including all the carmilla lore at the end; then move into general world lore/a bit of album lore, and finally more obscure/unknown facts, such as explaining the whole scuzz thing! also, citing the sources has been difficult, as a lot of things are from, say, old twitter posts and the like. there might be less links here than you all would like, but bear with me- compiling all this lore is quite difficult!

disclaimer: unlike stuff like the wiki, this includes a lot of my own theories and red stringing, and while i’m noting if something’s fanon or canon, the fanon may occasionally make its way into my theories!

links to the songs will be mostly TheVoidSings’ youtube lyric videos, as i don’t want to find the links to all the different platforms they’re on and the videos are lovely and accessible!

also- i’ve done some significant editing on the mechanisms wiki, as have other talented people- go check it out! it’s a good source of lore!

now on w/ the actual post!

crew

jonny d’ville

his lore is fairly concrete, but since he’s an unreliable narrator, we don’t know what bits can be trusted! his backstory song is one eyed jacks, which gives a pretty clear picture of events, but here in his crew bio he says that he made up new texas, and doesn’t have a very good memory of events in general. (it’s implied that he didn’t lie about killing his father, but we don’t even know that for sure.) a note: unlike the others, we don’t know what happened to his heart in order for him to be mechanized.

the aurora

the aurora’s lore is a mess. here’s what we know for sure, which is an edited version of what i have on her wiki page, (where i have also given a list of her known physical attributes);

she started off as a moon, but was weaponized and turned into a ship. she initially was a navy ship, but mutinied and joined the rebellion, participating in the october revolution, in which nastya died and was mechanized. this may have been her choice, but it is more likely that carmilla and/or jonny forced her into it, as they are the ones who won her from the cyberian navy.

when they stormed the ship, a woman was trapped inside- specialist 278 tereshkova, presumably aurora's programmer. What her and aurora's relationship was like is unknown, but aurora did not make any attempt to save her, so it may have not been positive. before dying, tereshkova managed to program a final distress message into aurora, as well as coding the mechanisms' blog.

she’s likely to be based off of the historical battleship aurora, like nastya is based off of the historical russian princess anastasia.

now, it’s time to get into the main theory about her: that aurora used to be briar rose! i’m collecting all the evidence on it, as well as all the evidence that can disprove it.

here’s a refresher on briar rose’s whole deal, taken from ‘the aurora strikes’-

The Rose Reds were the most effective of the soldiers created from Rose's genetic material, but they were not the first. Rumours spoke of an early prototype, known as the Briar Rose, that had malfunctioned and slain everyone on the desert moon of Briar, where she was being grown. But she was not dead. As the Mechanisms discovered, instead, she slept, at the heart of the defence grid that surrounded New Constantinople. The grid was composed of Thorn-class gun emplacements and was virtually impenetrable. And in its centre, the Briar Rose slumbered, plugged into the system, her anger, her rage, her hatred and her fear, fueling the machines, and focusing their gun turrets.

the main support for the theory here is that over time, briar rose could have fused to the moon, which is one of the very few conditions in which a biomechanical weaponized moon seems plausible and not just like a collection of vaguely cursed words. however, in the fiction ‘by any other name’, which is some collected lab research on briar rose, there’s this line- “During transportation and integration of the specimen, take all precaution and care.”- key word here being transportation. so she must have been moved off the moon.

the fiction i cited to disprove the theory actually has something that further supports it, though- the presence of a mysterious woman in king cole’s lab, who could be carmilla. hood, the revolution’s hacker, notes on a picture of her ‘[No idea. The others I’ve been able to find evidence of, but she’s a fucking ghost]‘. the description is a bit off, though, as she’s described as a short, pale, woman with hair long enough to be pulled back and carmilla is quite tall and has short hair- as well, in a later part of the fiction, the woman is killed and does not revive. however, there’s also another who could plausibly be her, noted here- ‘A tall woman sits opposite Prof. Root with a tray of her own. From her stature, it is conceivable she was one of the figures in the chemical suits. They talk sporadically, but the audio is heavily corrupted.’ she isn’t one of the ones killed later on, either, so that’s possible.

we know carmilla knew aurora when she was a very young moon and raised her practically from birth, so if she is one of those two people, it would make sense.

in ‘the aurora strikes’, aurora pushes to save briar rose- nastya explains this as ‘she can not bear to see another biomechanical organism in pain’. in my own writing about aurora, i interpret that as her having very high empathy, but there could be a more personal connection here. this is also notable as the only time aurora is mentioned in-album beyond jonny calling the mechanisms ‘the crew of the starship aurora’.

nastya rasputina

nastya’s backstory song (cyberian demons) was only performed when they were still dr. carmilla and the mechanisms, so it’s harder to find! thevoidsings has made a lyric video of it here, though, and it gives another very clear picture of her backstory! there’s also the fiction of the same name, which i didn’t understand upon first read-through but is basically a nastya character study, covering different points in her immortal life.

her performer went on hiatus for a while, and as an in-universe explanation, the cyberian sequence was written! in which nastya flies aurora to cyberia, infects herself with a computer virus, and transmits it to the entire planet, causing it to explode. this is all in the cyberian demons fiction i linked above, and with it are two other tangential fictions- one presumably just before those events, and one that’s an outsider pov.

there’s also out, which i’d suggest reading rather than just looking at my summary; basically, nastya has a crisis over aurora changing so that it’s harder to recognize her love, and ends up leaving the ship to float away into deep space- this is presumed to be her death, but that is never confirmed and nastya seems to assume she will wake up at some point.

ashes o’reilly

ashes’ whole deal is quite straightforward, which is a nice break from aurora and (to a lesser extent) nastya! their backstory song is lucky sevens, and it’s elaborated on further in their crew bio; interestingly, ashes was the one most into the idea of immortality at first, and also gave clear consent to carmilla.

ivy alexandria

we don’t know that much about ivy, which is fitting, as she doesn’t either! the most clear information we can find about her is in her crew bio, which can be summarized as: she grew up in a library!

archive footage explains more about her memory situation. she has no memories of anything before she was mechanized, according to this line ‘[...] she can tell you dates, and places, and body counts, she can list for you the exact circumstances of each event of her long, long life (at least, every event since that time, long ago, among a maze of bookshelves in a library that, awake, she can no longer describe to you, though once she knew its every turn by heart, when a woman stood over her and offered her eternity: before that, there is nothing at all).’ she also processes her memories differently than most people- they’re more like records, instead of things that affect her emotionally. (archive footage is also beautifully written and very much worth reading!)

the toy soldier

would say it has concrete lore, but it’s also almost solely responsible for fucking up my timeline and the album lore, so i’m rather angry at it. nevertheless, its entire backstory can be found in the fiction ‘the story of the toy soldier’. additionally, there’s a short story about its time fighting in the revolution of once upon a time (in space); presumably, this is the first time it did so, though it was likely in the war at least twice and possibly even three times. the mechanisms were only watching the second time, though it’s not out of character for it to have participated in the war again, and there’s also the dr. carmilla song, eleven, (which is about a war and uses a lot of rose symbology so it’s likely the revolution) where it is present. notably, carmilla had left the mechanisms by the time once upon a time (in space) takes place on their timeline, and the toy soldier is the only one there. at first, i interpreted that as carmilla meeting the toy soldier before it had met the mechanisms, but there’s two inconsistencies there: firstly, it doesn’t recognize her when it joins the band, and secondly, in the song they leave together. this increases the likelihood of it having been in the war three times.

we actually have a recording of the toy soldier’s first time joining the band- the mechanisms @ lashings! (part one / part two / transcript) there’s also a note of that show in the story of the toy soldier! they bought it because jonny was in jail (x). interestingly, that show is the first recording of rose red, and it’s later noted jonny was in a rose red prison!

now it’s time to get into the main theory regarding it, which also will factor into the write-up of ulysses dies at dawn later! i personally subscribe to this theory, or at least, most of it.

here is frankie @byron-von-raum‘s post- the theory here is that the toy soldier is the rebodied mind of the widow’s fiance. i’m not going to get too into that part, as i don’t personally incorporate it into my lore and more importantly frankie already has a post on it! read that if you’re more interested!

the most important bit here is the evidence it collects regarding the toy soldier living near labyrinth; in one of the pictures from the toy soldier’s backstory, there’s a dionysus brand wine bottle. the consensus he comes to is that the toy soldier lives in a colony of earth that trades with labyrinth, and while i think that’s possible, the all-encompassing nature of the city makes it more likely that they would have a minimum of outside communication, so the toy soldier would just be from the city proper. i will get into the impacts of this/expand on it more in the world lore section!

another thing: the angel has an out of character explanation! if you look at photos of old mechs gigs, jessica law looks similar to the drawing of the angel in the story of the toy soldier! their voice being stolen was most likely a reference to that.

drumbot brian

brian’s backstory is laid out in his crew bio! i’d summarize it, but to be honest, it’s already a summary, so i’d suggest just taking a second to read that! sadly, this is all of what we know about it. the priest from his backstory was apparently made almost immortal in some twisted form of mechanization, and has never forgiven brian for it/is still trying to hunt him down (x).

his bio is also where his morality switch is introduced! (interestingly, it takes a far lower role/is mentioned far less in canon than in fanworks.)

there was originally going to be a backstory album about him called indistinguishable from magic. this never happened, but ben below is working on a new one called the wanderings of drumbot brian! no more knowledge on this currently.

the main theory about him is that he had some kind of alliance/is lying about something to do with carmilla! we know from maki that carmilla didn’t go out of the airlock (more on that in her section), and when brian is questioned on what happened to her, he doesn’t give a concrete answer. this is in contrast to all the other mechanisms, who assume she fell out an airlock. here’s what he said:

I will not point fingers and lay blame. I do not know how it came to pass that Dr. Carmilla left this vessel, whether by fair means or foul, and so I will not engage in this painful discussion. I hope she did not suffer, and that we may forgive the perpetrator of this deed.

he’s speaking very formally here. (fucking nerd). well, no; legitimately, this is not the normal way he speaks in other contexts. he could be masking something. we know that even when he’s lying, he’s not good at it, and this comes off as clearly odd. in support of this, i believe one of the songs on his unwritten backstory album was called ‘the doctor’s demise’ (though i could be remembering incorrectly).

there’s not much more evidence we can draw on here to come to a consensus, though!

something else to note- i’ve written this other meta about his prophetic powers! feel free to read if you’re interested in that aspect of his character!

gunpowder tim

of course, tim already has a whole mini-album to himself (gunpowder tim vs the moon kaiser), but there’s a couple more niche things about him, though not as much as aurora and ts!

mainly, the implications that he destroyed the sun. there’s an old mechanisms tweet that states he 'was floating in the wake of a detonated star’. additionally, there’s this old blog post, which turned into a bit of a fiction! the figure speaking is not named, but given the other mechanisms who speak (therefore knocking them off the possibilities list) and the fact that the post was made around the time tim joined, it’s likely that it’s him. now, he says this:

“It wasn’t the deep space that drove me crazy,” he said, his voice low, calm and polite. “It was the sudden realisation that I was entirely responsible for the destruction of my entire civilisation, and happy for it.”

though destroying the moon and his other actions in gptvtmk could possibly count for this, it would fit more if he had destroyed the sun.

both those posts also imply that he was floating in space for an incredibly long time. i don’t know how he survived if so, but it seems very likely that’s what happened.

i considered these posts being too early/having a changed canon now, like the odd use of different pronouns for some characters in the earlier fiction, but they seemed to have gunpowder tim vs the moon kaiser mostly worked out by the time tim ledsam officially joined, as they perform it at the only recorded gig from that year with him (port mahon 2011), which was around when the second blog post was made!

marius von raum

we don’t have a written backstory or backstory song to go on for him, but kofi young (his performer) is working on a full album about him called ‘the death of byron von raum’!

the blog post kofi made about it as a summary is the main source of marius lore that we have! i’d highly suggest reading it, but the main points are:

1. it’s going to be very dark and tragic, and shows that marius at heart isn’t really the kind of comedic figure that he comes off as in the band! ruth @thedreadvampy (the mechanisms’ official artist, as well as morgan’s sister and kofi’s partner) has also made a tumblr post that connects to this!

2. the world he’s from used to be high-tech, but has devolved over time into 18th century levels of technology! what this boils down to is; what we assume is marius and an unknown friend (more on this in raphaella’s part) manage to discover ancient technology and attempt to use it! all we have here is this quote om the blog post- ‘In the middle of this, two kids hiding from the soldiers discover an army of ancient mecha and use them to fight back, but only end up plunging the world into further chaos.’.

3. anime protagonist marius!

we also have this small piece of writing, screenshotted here (monogoggle...)-

[image id: a screenshot of writing, most of it out of view/hard to make out. it’s also in the middle of the line, so the breaks are off. however, it looks to say ‘at the controls of RISML/cockpit is cramped and d[...]/has his monogoggle over his/controls are uncomplicated/the neural interface. They [...]’ end id.]

raphaella la cognizi

i’ve been very deep down the mechs rabbit hole for over a month now, and yet i’ve found hardly anything about her!

there’s a small theory i have, though it doesn’t have too much supporting evidence! in marius’ backstory, it mentions two kids, and raphaella and marius joined together (first mention of either of them is together, in this facebook post!) when questioned about marius and raphaella, nastya says a story instead of stories (x). (that post also clarifies that carmilla was not involved in either raphaella or marius’ backstories!) this could potentially point to raphaella being the other person from marius’ backstory. the evidence against it is that if raphaella featured that heavily, r. l. hughes would have said something about the album as well instead of it just being kofi talking about marius, but it’s still interesting to think about!

there’s also a theory that she was the preacher’s daughter from brian’s backstory, but the only real evidence there is that she could have used his tech to mechanize herself (which her doing is only fanon!) and that she performs ‘lost in the cosmos’.

dr carmilla

this is most likely going to be the shortest section, as it’s basically another crew member; that being said, there’s a lot of lore here!

if you haven’t listened to the carmilla albums, i’d really suggest doing that! there’s two- exhumed and (un)plugged and ageha prototype edition! the story there is harder to put together than in the mechs backstories, especially because the songs are mostly out of order, so i’ve decided to just straight up summarize my interpretation, along with what we have to go on from maki, instead of framing it like a theory, as that’s the easiest way! still, please bear all this with a grain of salt- it’s most likely to be contradicted in the new album maki is working on.

carmilla and her girlfriend loreli lived on a planet called terra. for their childhoods, it was a fairly okay place to live (though i elaborate on this a bit in the world lore section!) however, it was bombed; most likely taking the role of an alternate universe hiroshima, as the blurb on her bandcamp says ‘Dr. Carmilla tells the twisted tales of a dystopian future following WWII having ended very differently.‘ after this, the planet sunk into a nuclear winter.

loreli got sick and died; or, she should have, but carmilla saved her by turning her into a vampire as well. this resulted in loreli losing her morals and becoming abusive towards carmilla. carmilla was too deep in love to see this, and stayed in the relationship for several years.

we don’t know what happened to make her strike out on her own, but eventually she did, and created the mechanisms. while with them, she recognized her own failures with loreli, and left the mechanisms (which they all believe was caused by jonny d’ville pushing her out an airlock, rather than her own volition.)

from there, she traveled back in time to the point where loreli was dying, and let it happen- potentially burying herself and loreli alive, which she survived due to her immortality and loreli did not.

however, she was trapped underground for a hundred years. when she is finally found and dug out, she starts enjoying herself (i.e. committing murder). for some unknown reason, she clones herself multiple times, creating the in-universe version of maki yamazaki.

the mechanisms assume she pursued them after she was pushed out of the airlock, and that that was what eleven was about, but i’m not sure why she would do that, given that she left them of her own volition. because of time shenanigans, it could have been far later on her personal timeline; maybe she simply wished to reconnect with them after all those years.

that’s all we have; we don’t know if she died, or anything like that!

world lore

all the folktales and normal history the irl mechs work off of also exist in-universe! (for an example- the toy soldier and ivy start reciting the walrus and the carpenter together in lashings, and the mechs also do alice in wonderland as a song.)

we know the alternate universe theory is correct, mostly because of this piece in the fiction on kofi’s blog-

In those burning instants, he’d feel the weight of it all, and know it was true. The golden age that never came; the city that stood at the dawn of a world instead of in its dying embers. And beyond – to a myriad of Camelots and a thousand thousand Arthurs, unfathomable worlds apart, each different, each fighting the same hopeless battle.

He’d feel the burden of that task pressing down until it felt like it’d crush his chest, and he’d wake every day gasping for breath, feeling older than he ever had, older even than Ector.

And as he screamed inwardly, Galahad would meet his gaze with those crazed eyes of his and grin, and Arthur would know again that whatever had spoken to Galahad was moving him too.

the mechanisms are most likely traveling between several alternate universe versions of folktales, and occasionally alternate versions of earth! (cyberia, tim’s earth, terra...) this is likely why everyone in their stories is human, and is actually low-key evidence against drawing them as aliens (though ofc feel free to have fun!)

i was initially going to put all the album lore in its own separate sections, but a large amount of it is how it intersects with other pieces of lore, and the rest isn’t necessarily niche enough to cite here? my personal advice is that if you want to learn more about the albums, read the fiction! i have a compilation post of all the fiction up on this blog, and you can find it on the website here!

let’s start with the mechanisms’ roles in ulysses dies at dawn, though! we know for sure ashes is hades, brian is the oracle of delphi, and the toy soldier was a nymph (which is actually quite worrying, considering what that means and the inherent issues with consent there, but i digress.) tim most likely took on the role of achilles (more on that here). then, we know some of the mechanisms’ activities and can guess their roles from that. raphaella was helping athena on her research, marius was psychoanalyzing the olympians, and jonny was committing mass murder. it’s a common theory that one (or three) of the mechanisms was cerberus, but sadly i couldn’t find any evidence towards or against that.

i said in the toy soldier’s section that i would talk more about the implications of it being from labyrinth here! the main thing is the fact that, for it to join the rose red war, the city must have interacted with king cole at some point. it’s a risky thing to pose a theory on the toy soldier’s allegiance towards a certain group, but the fact that it seemed to stick with the rose reds here might also mean that the city was, in fact, under king cole’s power. this fits in nicely with the greek mythology aspect of it all; king cole, in that universe, could have been a stand-in for the figure of kronos/saturn!

a few other theories on how the lore intersects:

1. high noon over camelot takes place after the bifrost incident! in terminus, we see communication breaking down, and that could have been the reason the station was isolated. the mechanisms go from it to the bifrost incident, but as they canonically travel in time, that’s not enough to disprove the theory!

2. arthur becomes king cole eventually! this is mostly going off of the fact he’s called ‘the once and future king’, but also the fact that cole used to be considered a good king.

a few loose pieces of worldbuilding:

people from new constantinople seem to be longer lived, and their culture is built around age as a concept. the older you are, the more wise and important you are. specifically, in this fiction, snow is dismissively noted as ‘barely fifty’ and king cole’s age is held up as evidence to why he’s a good ruler.

terra, carmilla’s planet, has two major languages; high terran and low terran! high terran is a more regulated, formal way of speaking, specifically something that only the rich and privileged tend to know. there are many dialects, but the grammar is dictated by the capital. low terran is a creole language formed from several others, including high terran, that most children are taught in school as the baseline. (though they might speak a completely different, less widely spoken language at home!) carmilla speaks low terran but not high terran (although she pretends to know the latter.)

the mechanisms were all (or mostly all) at fort galfridean at one point; don’t have the source to hand, but marius apparently became a prophet to the saxons for staring into the sun for a very long time.

if you’re looking to draw album fanart, there are a few things i know aren’t as widely known; the ones i can think of off the top of my head is orpheus having a ‘foppish haircut’ (the type of thing that falls under that definition is narcissus’ undercut), and snow’s disfiguring scar. there is also official album art; i, personally, have not seen much of it, and i’d encourage coming up with your own character interpretations.

one last theory- it’s highly likely carmilla was involved in the events of the bifrost incident. in the mechscord (sadly, invites are closed due to the difficulty with handling the boom in the fanbase) maki yamazaki has mentioned that part of the criteria for picking a mechanism is ‘good friend for lyf’. at first, i assumed that she meant good friend for life, but when asked on that she was worryingly cryptic (as tends to happen), and she made a joke earlier in character as doc c about accidentally calling odin. though immortal lyfrassier edda most likely became fanon just so they could become a mechanism, this is a piece of evidence towards them actually becoming immortal.

my personal headcanon is that to gain true immortality (which maki has said king cole and the olympians do not have) you have to have some kind of eldritch component, so carmilla had to go to odin for aid. this is supported by the fact that in drive the cold winter away and cyberian demons, their mechanisms are noted as having a rainbow sheen to them!

other lore

scuzz nishimura

scuzz has built up a bit of a reputation for being the ‘cryptid mech’, but her lore is really quite simple! she was a member of the band back when they were doctor carmilla and the mechanisms, but left before they became more popular, so there’s not too much knowledge about her. she appears in this fiction and the only two recorded gigs from that era (lashings and homesick). she’s also visible in several photos!

i know i’ll get people in the notes asking for photos of her if i don’t include any, so have this;

[image id: a cropped picture of scuzz nishimura, looking tired and resting her head on her hand. she looks to be wearing white gloves and some kind of sweater or waistcoat, and her hair is cut short. her cello is also visible, as is someone else’s hand. end id.]

we don’t know too much about her; all we really have is that she was their cello player!

assorted things with no explanation

there’s this old piece from the wayback machine-

[image id: a screenshot of what looks to be the fiction page from a old site for dr carmilla and the mechs. the writing reads;

Writing

( The Aldwich Horror } A short story in which Dr. Carmilla attempts to solve the mysteries of the Aldwich Horror, the strange appearance of a new crew memeber and several zoologically dubious pets.

( Disinterration } A cautionary tale about exhuming corpses.

end id.]

‘disinterration’ is most likely a reference to the carmilla song exhumed, but i’m unsure about ‘the aldwich horror’. the most intriguing bit there is ‘the strange appearance of a new crew member’. i’ve researched the other aspects in an attempt to figure this out. aldwych is a closed london tube station- it served as a bomb shelter during the blitz, which is interesting as both carmilla and tim have backstories involving the world wars (though only carmilla’s is world war ii specifically; tim’s is wwi). the zoologically dubious pets are most likely the octokittens, which we know the toy soldier brought on board, so it would have to be in a place on the timeline after ts joined and before carmilla left. the only mechanism that joins in that space is gunpowder tim, so it’s possible that he is the new crew member.

the mechanisms blogs have a lot of incidental lore, so if you’re this deep in i’d suggest looking at my compilation post of some of my favorite posts of theirs!

and that’s it! we did it! i can finally go to sleep now. i’m so tired. please. i am going to die. i have homework. thank you all so much. please consider coming to my funeral service.

#the mechanisms #the mechs #my posts #compiliation post #meta

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spn-headcanons-daily · 5 years ago

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Hello people of the crazy spn fandom, how are we doing? (not well)

Wanna read some headcanons?

Since the finale, which brought me a new flavour of disappointment, I started to create a list of made up facts/headcanons (don't know how to call it better) of what should in my opinion happen to characters instead. Points about Dean and Cas from this list are slowly turning into my first actual fanfic, but points about Sam and Eileen are more difficult to write into a short story, so for now they are just staying as facts in a list. And I decided to post them here.

Will anyone ever read it? - Probably not.

Will that logical fact stop me? - Definitely not.

I'm going to post these ideas in order, one in each post. They can't count as actual fanfics, but they are long

Side note: I do not accept 15×20 as canon. Nope. It doesn't exist. I chose to completely ignore it, and by now I successfully erased it from my memory. Except for the part that in a few years Sam has a son named Dean (actually not really, but I'm going to call him that for simpler understanding, if you read it you will later find out why). And also Miracle the dog stays, he is a good boy and deserves the best.

I also should mention that in my imaginary world they saved Cas. And I have an idea how, and I think it's a good idea, but that's for another time, 'cause for that part I'm actually writing a fic (and it's becoming longer and longer, I don't know how to stop, it's out of control, please send help)

So they all know now that Cas is alive and he is okay.

Also you should keep in mind that English is my second language which I didn't study properly like a normal person but instead learned purely by watching tv shows, so feel free to kick my ass for any mistakes, there's probably a lot here.

If you read this shit below and liked it at least a little bit, please live something in the notes to make me feel less lonely and useless. Thanks :з

So, too much words, huh? Here is the first headcanon idea:

SAM WRITES A BOOK

After their big victory brothers still hunt monsters, of course, but now, when they are finally not constantly forced to save the whole world, their days are far less busy. They even have free time. And Sam makes a decision to do something useful with it.

Sam pulls together all his previous research, goes through hundreds of books from the library, adds other sources, and he writes and publishes a book. A really long book. It takes him almost a year from the first idea to the completion of it. This book is sort of a database, a full encyclopedia of all supernatural things that the Winchesters and the other hunters they know encountered over the years, with an accurate description of how those things look, what they do, what they want, where you can find them. And, of course, how to stop them, kill them, or protect yourself from them. The content is quite impressive, Sam put all his time and soul into it, checking and double-checking all information, comparing sources and trying to grasp the essence of each part of the lore and put it on the pages as short and simple as possible.

The book is called "The hunter's manual". Eileen insisted on that title - both Sam and Dean (who didn't help that much but nevertheless felt invested) right until the publishing kept offering something different. Sam wanted a long and self-explanatory name for his beloved creation, Dean wished for something more "pretentious and catchy".

It was supposed to be just a wiki-style website at first, but halfway through work Sam got excited about creating an actual book, so through some acquaintances they found a publisher, who knew about monsters and other stuff after his encounter with some vampires and another hunter, and agreed to publish a book in exchange for a right to sell its copies.

Eileen fully supported the idea of the book, but after a few weeks she gets quite annoyed by the fact that sometimes she literally can't pull Sam away from the book writing process. Dean jokes that his brother got married to book before he married Eileen, which somehow leads to a long serious conversation about marriage and love and life in general. But actually Eileen understands the importance of Sam's book for him way more than Dean, who thinks about it only from the practical point of view.

Sometimes Eileen is also worried for Sam, because he spends too much personal resources on his project, and she is the one who reminds him when he forgets to eat in time or not sleeping enough, and makes him remember to take care of himself. Eventually she becomes quite invested in the process, and she helps Sam with a lot of research and gaining information from other hunters across the country. She gets an honourable mention in the book's authors' information page, under a fake name, of course, but it still counts for them.

In a few years Sam's book becomes a handbook for almost every hunter in the US, and it even gets translated into a few other languages, because turns out it considerably eases your life to have one source for all basic material for the hunts, instead of going through the whole libraries of controversial information.

A few people got their book signed by Sam and Dean: the Winchesters at this point became sort of legendary figures in hunters' world. Dean complains that this is not the way he planned to become famous. Sam objects that his brother has no right to sign the book and therefore shouldn't be complaining when he lets him be part of his fame.

The hunters now often give a link to a digital version of the book to all ordinary people who had to face something supernatural and now know that it's all real - because if they are already aware of the nightmares of this world, this book's instructions will help them to be safer in the future. This digital version is also heavily redacted, to contain only information for protection: no summoning rituals, for example, as well as no any other things and information that could potentially hurt anybody. This version was created after some dumb teenagers, who encountered a ghost before, got their hands on an unedited book and decided that summoning a demon could be a good idea for a party entertainment. It definitely wasn't.

Ironically, some time later this book accidentally becomes fairly popular among the general public, as a book in the fantasy genre, and now passionate fans of the "supernatural" books in the long internet discussions are accusing mysterious author of "The hunter's manual" of ripping off their favourite series. Sam finds it amusing and sometimes when he is bored anonymously goes into some forums to argue with fans.

#supernatural #spn #spn fic #spn fandom #sam winchester #eileen supernatural #saileen #sam deserves better #spn fanfiction #spn headcanon

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i4z-0892-il · 7 years ago

Text

Back in the Game 2

Summary: You were a Hunter once upon a time, but you’d left that life behind. But when the past comes back and knocks on your door, what’s a girl to do?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word count: 4282

Warnings: Language

A/N: Kinda long, not sorry. I live for feedback, comments and reblogs!

If you like my work consider buying me a Coffee, or leave me some Feedback!

Tag List

Masterlist

Part 1 - Part 2

Frozen in place you were stuck not knowing what to say, or what to do, not even sure if you truly trusted your eyes that he was really standing in your doorway. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought of the possibility before. Dean showing up unannounced, each version in your head a little different. Sometimes he would decide to stay with you, changing his mind and wanting a life with you somewhere safe. Sometimes he’d show up and you’d fight with him, bitter and angry about how he’d reacted the last time you saw him. Not once had you actually expected him to do it. Four years worth of complete radio silence, four years of not knowing whether he was alive or dead- of course he was alive, he was Dean Fucking Winchester. And there he was, beautiful as ever. A forced smile turned up the corner of his perfect full lips.

“Hey, Y/n.” He said finally. He was real, he was real and he was standing in front of you and even though you’d thought about exactly this nearly everyday for years, you were at a complete loss for what to do next. You imagined your face was stupid in your shock. All you could do was take in his image, he looked like you remembered. Almost. The fine lines at the corners of his eyes were a little more defined, as were the ones in his brow from stress no doubt. His hair was lighter now than you remembered, peppered with the start of gray, only a few strands here and there, and in his stubble. More than anything he looked weary, tired not from a lack of sleep but from life, and he seemed sad to see you. You didn’t realize how long you’d stood there just studying him until he shifted uncomfortably. “C’mon, Y/n, say something.”

“I- Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you. Do you want to come in?” You asked, unsurity evident on your face as you stepped to the side. He looked down the hall considering his options as he bit into his lip and ran a hand over his face before nodding his head almost reluctantly before stepping into your tiny apartment. He scrutinized your belongings curiously as he stepped around the small kitchen and into your living room, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting but that wasn’t it. You had a dining room table, and throw blankets over the sofa, bookshelves filled with books that had nothing to do with lore, or ancient cryptids. There were no sigils scrawled on the walls, no devils traps painted on the floor. There was a TV, and a coffee table. There were no guns or holy water stashed in every nook and cranny that would hold them, but there were fresh cut flowers in a vase, and a picture on the shelf of you and a few other people smiling about something. He’d expected more of your old life to bleed through, he’d expected to see you as paranoid as he might have been, or maybe at least a little messier.

The pastels had him thrown for a loop, he didn’t remember you ever seeming so soft. But there you were in a pair of pink and black plaid cotton shorts and a blush colored t-shirt thin enough that he could see the rose colored lacey bralette through it, as if you’d rolled out of one of those girly magazines for some niche store in a mall. More than that, softer than that, you seemed comfortable, something he could say he’d only caught a few glimpses of in the still sanctity of night when it was just the two of you alone. You were still so beautiful, not that he thought that would ever change. But it had been so long that the image of you he had in just head just didn’t do justice to how lovely you were. Seeing you now, like you were, did nothing but rekindle the urge to touch you, and hold you, and kiss your lips to see if they tasted the same.

He remembered you exuding strength, and radiating attitude. He remembered you clad in army green, and neutral plaid, worn in steel-toed brown boots, and toting a sawed off. Deadly with a blade and one hell of a shot. Men in bars avoided you rather than hit on you, because of the stoic and unapproachable look on your face. He remembered you all fury and violence, the battlefield being your most natural state of being. He remembered how much he liked to watch you in a fight moving like a dancer with grace and poise and power. You used to shoot whiskey for breakfast, and clean your gun as a form of meditation. You used to be soft and vulnerable only with him, not letting anyone get a peek into the sweetness behind the mask except him. That was then, when you had no choice but to be strong and resilient and wear it like a suit of armor.

Now you had roses and succulents around your home, and your hands seemed more delicate than dangerous. You were still the most breathtaking creature he’d ever laid eyes on, hair still a mess and piled on top of your head, wild strands sticking out every-which-way, something that he hoped would never change. But change you had. You looked like you did when you left him, but even the way you stood was so different he wasn’t sure if you were the same person he used to know, he thought maybe he hadn’t known you at all.

“So this is it, huh?” There was more bitterness in his tone than he’d intended, making you cross your arms over your chest defensively. The offense you took was clear on your face and he hadn’t come there meaning to argue with you, it was unintentional, but it was damn hard not to let a little bit of venom slip in.

When you left he was a wreck, he drank too much, and had been to reckless during hunts. He threw himself in the arms of women who sometimes reminded him of you, sometimes they didn’t. Sometimes they were the opposite of you and he’d sleep with them to spite you. Wondering if maybe you could feel his malice in some way, some little tick in the back of you head that would make you uneasy or uncomfortable. Because why should you be happy and enjoying a regular anonymous life when he was stuck there trapped in the shit with the rest of the demons? Why did he have to be the one to be in pain while you got to go to coffee shops, and watch the game on the weekends, and go to regular parties with regular folk like a regular person? For a long time he wanted you to hurt, and wanted to hurt you like you’d done him, he wanted to you feel that empty void in your chest like he did.

But that was a long time ago, and he hadn’t come there to patronize you, or fight with you. Over time he only wished that you were content, that you finally got the life that you’d wanted so desperately, the one he couldn’t give you, the one your deserved. He simply wished that you’d found it and that he’d have been a part of it.

Dean knew he was the one to drive that final nail in the coffin. That shattered look on your face had haunted him from the moment you left, he gave you no other options.

“You walk out that door, you don’t ever come back.”

And Dean was much too prideful to take it back, he hated you too much to drop you a lifeline and tell you he was sorry. He almost did, hundreds of times. Late nights when he’d had a little too much to drink, or the pressure of the world on his shoulders felt too extreme and crushing. He’d typed up hundreds of messages, thought out hundreds of voicemails, dreamed about showing up on your doorstep only to delete them all or throw away the urge with bitterness and guilt. You wouldn’t want to talk to him, or hear from him, not after how mean and selfish he’d been. So he had to live with it. Until he couldn’t anymore.

He’d only thought about that exact moment for years.

4 years.

6 Months.

13 Days. To be exact.

And each time he thought about it there were one of two possibilities, either you wouldn’t be happy to see him, you’d have moved on, forgotten all about him and the nightmare world you left behind and he’d just be a ghost from that life. Or you’d be elated to see him, you’d throw your arms around his neck and he’d breath in that sweet smell of you, and all would be right with the world. He wasn’t that lucky, and based off of the shocked and petrified look you’d given him when you opened the door, maybe it was a terrible mistake to show up, one that he couldn’t take back now. He wasn’t helping things by being spiteful, and he could have smacked himself for it. Each time he had a conversation with you in his head he knew what to say, how to move, what to do to smooth everything out and you’d just melt into him again. As he stood in front of you now he couldn’t for the life of him find the words or the charm or the wit that he had in his head. He was there for a reason, and that reason wasn’t to push you further away.

“Yes, this is it.” You answered curtly. It wasn’t much, but it was yours, and you’d worked your ass off to get it. Whether he approved or not didn’t change that fact. Dean nodded as he continued to move through your small space taking inventory of everything from the art on your walls to the colors you chose.

“It’s nice.” He said with an approving nod. Your arms dropped back to your side no longer offended but now just confused. With your change in demeanor he continued, but he really didn’t actually want to know the answer. “Your boyfriend- husband-whatever, gonna be mad about me stopping by?”

“What? No, it’s just me Dean.” You scoffed, shaking your head. Hearing his name roll off your tongue again was like music.

“Really? No special someone?” He couldn’t deny that surge of hope that ran through his veins like fire reigniting that little spark he’d tried his best to douse.

“Nope.” You answered with a shrug, “never got over my ex.” Trying to keep his face stoic and not like a kid who was just told to blow fifty bucks on candy was difficult to say the least. It meant he still had a chance to make things right with you, one of the biggest regrets in his life.

“I find that hard to believe, I heard the guy’s an asshole.” He shot back with a grin.

“Maybe sometimes, but you’re also a good man Dean, the best. I couldn’t have replaced you even if I’d tried.”

“You…” A sharp stab of guilt and remorse struck him in the chest struck him in the center of the chest, right where it hurt. “You never tried?”

You simply shrugged and shook your head. It was an easy answer, there was no one who could have taken his place, no one you had even been remotely interested in. Friends had tried to set you up numerous times, begging you to “Just give him a shot, you’ll love him, he’s such a nice guy.” But you didn’t want nice. You didn’t want to even entertain the idea of being with someone else in any capacity. The idea alone was enough to make you nauseous. Intimacy with another human being was just out of the question. What were you even supposed to say when they asked you about your youth, or where you came from, what you used to do? Those conversations were hard enough to navigate with everyone else, let alone someone trying to get to know you on a profound and personal level. As it stood you could more or less gloss over details of your past, brush them off and play a mystery card. They tried relentlessly anyway to get you to meet John, or Lawrence, or Keith. And relentlessly you’d decline.

They’d never know you like he did. They’d never understand you like he did. They’d never touch you like he did. They’d never go through Hell and back with you like he had. You and Dean had traveled the world and then some. You fought together, and loved together, and bickered with each other and, and, and, the list went on. You and Dean had shared too much for there to be a chance of finding anything close with someone else. And you didn’t even want to try. No one could compare to Dean Winchester, love of your life.

But your easy answer didn’t bring him the comfort it should have, feeling like he’d wronged you somehow. You left but you never truly left him, even after all that time. There wasn’t much considering of the fact that you might have been hurting too. He figured it had been an easy choice for you, that you wanted out, and you wanted away from him. He had to think that way because the idea that you were out there somewhere still pining for him would have driven him over the edge long ago. He’d been sure you’d moved on and the notion of you with anyone else was a driving force of rage for him. It was why he hoped you’d feel it when he was with another woman, because he could feel it when you were with another man who touched you the wrong way, who couldn’t appreciate or worship you like he did. And now he was faced with the reality that none of his worst fears had come to fruition.

He felt like a monster for ever doubting your intentions at all. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t wanted out before, and wanted it so badly it hurt. He’d been so wrapped up in the fact that losing you hurt like hell, it felt like a personal attack. Felt like you were aiming below the belt to rip him into tiny little pieces. He wanted to go with you more than anything, but he knew he had a duty, and a responsibility to the job, knew he could never leave it. But you did, you took his dream to live a normal Apple Pie life, and you took his heart with you, and it was like a cruel joke. And leaving him in that empty, dingy hotel room with nothing left was the punchline.

The solemn and pensive look on his face made you nervous. You used to be able to just know what he was thinking and feeling like a sixth sense, having full conversations by just trading glances. Too much time had passed now, and you didn’t know what to expect, but maybe letting him know how you still felt about him was the wrong move.

“Can I get you something to drink? I made coffee.” You offered, and he accepted with a nod. When you stepped around him you were careful to keep a wide berth, afraid of touching him, afraid of how he might respond if you did. Would he be disgusted or disdainful? You could feel his eyes on you as you moved, like he was studying you. And he was, it was like the first time he was seeing you. He watched the muscle in your legs move and flex as walked, and the curve of your ass when you reached above your head for a mug. And there was no mistaking that you avoided contact with him, but he wanted you to invade his space again, and he had no idea how to let you know.

In his head he’d smile at you and flash you green eyes, he’d make a witty remark here, crack a joke there. He’d step in close, and you’d bridge the gap, and he’d say he missed you, you’d say it back and then he’d kiss you like you’d never been kissed before and the world would fall into place. Instead things were coming out a jumbled mess, and he couldn’t make heads or tails. He was hot and you were cold, then you were hot and he was cold, and vice versa. It was like you were both dancing around each other, or dipping a toe in to test the waters only to find them choppy and cold when they seemed warm and serene. There was so much to unpack that trying to find a place to start was the most difficult thing in the world.

Dean watched you struggle for a moment trying to reach the shelf just a hair too high for your reach, an amused grin passing across his lips as he stepped in close and plucked a plain gray mug off the shelf. You turned eyes up to him, heat creeping into your cheeks by him being so near. Close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him like a furnace seeping into your skin and permeating every fiber of your being, raising goosebumps along the length of your arm and down your back. Close enough that you could smell that familiar leather, and his cologne. Dean held the cup out to you like a peace offering, and you took it. His fingers lingered against yours, just a simple touch, it shouldn’t have meant much but it did. Because it was him and because you’d missed him more than you ever thought possible. Because he was the cause of an all consuming fire burning away in your chest. A zing of electricity shoot from his fingertips up into his head and down into his toes at the touch of your hand, soft and warm, pulling away only when you did. Your eyes were locked on his not ready to tear away your gaze just yet, and also not knowing what to do with how you were feeling.

It’d been so long since you looked at him like that it made his heart thump wildly in his chest, that look that said you were mesmerized by him, and he never felt he deserved such adoration from you. But once it was gone it was like a piece of him went missing, and all of a sudden it was there again, he wanted you to look at him like that forever, like you were supposed to. All he could do was study your face, take in the soft curve of your cheeks, the curl of your lashes, and the gentle part of your lips where his eyes lingered a little too long wanting to know if you tasted the same.

You knew that look, the one that would do you in if you acted on it. The one that told you he still wanted you, maybe as much as you wanted him. But that was the problem. It was why you struggled so hard leaving the first time, and if you gave in now and took that dive there was nothing saying you’d ever surface. You’d worked too hard to get what little you had, and you treasured that solace and security. Clearing your throat you stepped back, bringing yourself back to Earth and putting your focus on the coffee pot, not wanting to risk being hypnotized by him again, knowing it would only lead to trouble. You set the mug on the counter and filled your own, pouring too much creamer in it.

“Still like a little coffee flavor with your creamer, huh?” Dean asked with a grin. He drank his black.

“Hey, you enjoy your plain, bitter bean-water and I’ll enjoy mine, which tastes like a cinnamon roll by the way.” You teased, pressing your hip against the counter. As much as you enjoyed just being near him again, there was one thing you couldn’t shake, and he wasn’t going to come out and just tell you on his own it seemed. And you were never one for small talk. “Why are you here Dean?”

The question stopped him in his tracks. He’d been trying to figure out a way to broach the subject, but there wasn’t an easy way to get to it, and he’d hoped to be able to do it himself. Knowing you he should have figured you’d cut straight to the point, but it threw him off nonetheless.

“What, I can’t come visit you, see what you’re up to?” He asked avoiding answering. You scoffed, shaking your head.

“After four years of complete radio silence? No, not really.”

“Y’know phones work both ways Y/n.”

“Yeah, Dean. They do. “ You shot back with venom. Instantly he knew that he’d made a mistake. It wasn’t like you wanted to instigate a fight but it’d only been weighing on you for years and once the levee broke the words just spilled out of your mouth. “You were the one who told me I could never come back Dean.”

Yeah, he’d made a very big mistake. He hated himself for how things left off.

“Y/n I was angry… I didn’t mean-”

“Didn’t mean it?” You finished for him, and when he just hung his head solemnly you knew you had assumed right. “When why would you say it?”

“Because you were leaving me!” Dean argued, trying to keep his voice down. “You were leaving me because I couldn’t give you this! I could never give you this! I wasn’t enough for you, and I couldn’t convince you to stay, I didn’t know what to do Y/n. I couldn’t stand to lose you too. I wanted you to stay so damn badly that when you wouldn’t I-... I didn’t mean to push you away, it just came out, and I couldn’t take it back. I wanted to take it back.”

It was your turn to fall silent. All those years wondering if he ever regretted sending you away like that answered in an instant. You couldn’t look at him, afraid of what you’d see in his eyes.

“I hated you for that.” You said quietly, his heart dropping directly into his stomach. It’d been cruel of him, he knew that, and he knew you had to harbor some resentment for it, just like he had for you leaving. “For a long time I hated you for saying that. Dean, I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t enough. It was never something you did, or something you lacked. We needed different things, and I didn’t want to live that life anymore, I didn’t want to die because of it and I couldn’t stand the thought of having to watch you die from it either. I just couldn’t. I wanted you to come with me. I wanted you to be here with me every single day for the last four years. I never stopped worrying about you Dean, but I never felt like I could reach out to you.”

When you met his gaze you had tears in your eyes, and he had to fight the need to hold you. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, afraid he might break your cup if he held onto it any tighter. It took longer than he’d have been proud to admit, but eventually he understood. Things change, people change, people’s needs change. And if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t too keen on the idea of staying a hunter forever either anymore, he hadn’t been for a long time, even before you left. It was just another thing he resented you for, having the courage to get out when he couldn’t. The idea rolled around in his head every now and then, small at first until it became an ache living so deep in his core that he couldn’t ignore it any longer. Whenever he envisioned himself happy, and at peace. It was with you, where ever you were. But there was still work to do.

“I thought about you every day. I wanted to call you but I figured you wouldn’t answer.” He admitted, and you responded with a half-hearted laugh.

“I know the feeling.”

Everything felt like just a big misunderstanding. It was bigger than that, of course, but if only you could have talked to him.

If only he could have talked to you.

If you’d been a little braver.

If he’d been less stubborn.

If you hadn’t been so heartless.

If he hadn’t been so cruel.

If you thought about what he needed.

If he considered what you wanted.

If you’d just tried.

If he’d just tried.

Maybe you’d have had a chance.

Maybe he’d have had a chance.

There you were again, dancing around each other, the space between you feeling like a thousand miles. Both of you too scared to make the first move, both of you wanting to just put the past in the past, but there was too much time that had passed. There were too many feelings unresolved, too many things that needed discussing, there was too much history and baggage to go alone with it. One little discussion wouldn’t be able to fix it.

And he’d never actually answered your question.

“Dean… why are you here? Why now?”

“I uh… I need your help with something.”

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Forever Tags-

@heyitscam99

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#dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean fanfiction #dean fanfic #dean fic #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #jena writes #back in the game

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trashyslashers · 6 years ago

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If you haven't cut requests off yet, I crave that slowburn Philip Ojomo/survivor content. Can be canon character or a reader, dealer's choice. The slower the burn, and the more intense the one-sided pining, the better tho. Thank you!

Finally after 800 years i finished this……. came out a lot longer than expected.

This is my first time ever writing slowburn/one-sided pining so I hope it came out okay!!!!!! I changed some of the DBD lore around a bit for this. I chose the x reader route because this blog is mainly x reader, and I had the reader be the one to get the feelings. Also I’ll be incredibly honest, I’ve never been in love or had a crush on anyone before so I hope I did an okay job of portraying those feelings.

You hadn’t any idea how much time had passed since you ended up in this…. place. Whether it was a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, you lost count long ago and gave up trying to keep track; the days felt like they were all merged together and there was no discernible time change or variation in weather.

Adjusting to the realm was hard, but you had managed to do so to the best of your abilities. While you still could, there was no need to eat or sleep; most of your time was spent waiting around the endlessly burning campfire mingling with the others or in the small, cabin-like shack that the entity responsible for putting you in this situation provided to you and the others like you as perhaps a sort of solace from everything else.

Since arriving, you’ve met an array of interesting individuals; there was Claudette - a young woman who had been incredibly kind to you since you’d shown up, David - a tough but brotherly guy, Meg - who was friendly but seemed to be full of a fierce, restless energy, and Dwight - a jittery but affable guy - to list only a few.

Along with the others who were given the same goal of survival that you were, over time you met the beings who were partially responsible for your reoccurring demise - a group of killers who were tasked with chasing you and the others down and impaling you on the baleful meathooks that littered the various areas you were dumped in during trials.

Much to your surprise, they seemed to retain a large part of their personalities from their previous life because when they weren’t attempting to kill you they, for the most part, were fairly amiable. On occasion they’d wander over to the campfire that you and the other survivors huddled around and you became somewhat acquainted with the more social of the bunch: Evan - an absolutely massive man who had a thing for bear traps, a group of reckless and rowdy young adults who referred to themselves as the Legion, and a few others.

While they were all nice, no one caught your eye as much as Philip did. Something about the tall, dark man who stood hushed to the side most of the time caught your attention and you found yourself wanting to get to know him and grow closer with him. You never interacted with him much outside of trials as he tended to keep to himself, but whenever you did he was nothing but kind towards you and the others. While in trials he could be downright terrifying, the gentleness and kindness of what little words he spoke and his actions outside always acted as a consolation.

His company became one of the few things that kept you going and you always had him in the back of your mind, wondering how he was, what he was doing, hoping he was alright. You knew he disliked being here - that he didn’t like the killing and harming he was supposed to do - and your heart hurt for him. You wanted to be there for him, be friends with him, give him some sort of comfort.

Soon enough, you found yourself going to him over and over again - finding anything you could to show him or chat with him about - anything was fair game as long as it provided a reason for you to spend time with him. It started off simple with the two of you just taking meandering walks in the woods that surrounded the campfire, talking about this and that or just staying silent. Philip didn’t speak very much - whether it was his own choice or if the Entity ruined his vocal chords you didn’t know - but it didn’t bother you. He seemed to like listening and would watch you intently as you spoke. He appreciated the company.

Over time you both grew closer, physically too. He towered over you but it didn’t stop you from giving him an occasional hug (which he happily reciprocated as best he could), tugging on his cloak to get his attention, and other small but soft touches. Your conversations grew deeper, you’d exchange stories about your lives before you wound up in this hell. You’d tell stories about school, your family, your friends, and he’d tell stories about his life before he came to America, his family, his culture, any past lovers he may have had.

You didn’t know why, but any time he spoke about a past lover (which he admitted he didn’t have many of), you felt a twinge of… jealousy, was it? You really didn’t know why - he was a friend, and that was it, so why you felt envious of anyone he used to be with was a mystery to you.

You began inviting Philip to your little cabin so you two could have more time together, and he even gave you the literal key to go see him - the tiny piece of metal which you’d burn in the campfire outside of trials which granted you access to where he stayed most of the time.

It happened one night (if you could even call it that, there was no real change in time from what you could tell) while you were in your little hut, wanting to rest a bit. The Entity eliminated the need to sleep from you and the others so you never felt physically tired, but you could still rest and get some shut eye whenever you weren’t participating in a trial. Your mind was wandering, weird, random little thoughts and scenarios popping up here and there, some of which memories from your past life, some more recent. Of course, thoughts about Philip came floating in which was nothing unusual at this point; he was almost always on your mind in some way.

You found yourself, or rather your loosely roaming mind, imagining some particularly intimate situations with him - nothing erotic, but wondering not only how it would’ve been to be in a relationship with him when he was a normal man, but what it would be like even now.

Your mind wandered a bit more before it hit you like a truck - a lurch, a flutter in your stomach, your eyes shot open and you realized - you had feelings for Philip. You were surprised but not; for awhile now you’d felt there was more than just platonic feelings of affection for him, but you didn’t dwell on it much. It slowly inched up on you and it explained why you felt jealous when he spoke about past loves and relationships, and why he always ended up on your mind in one way or another.

You’d fallen for him and you’d fallen hard. You were also incredibly unsure of what to do - does Philip even feel things like romantic interest anymore? And if he does, would he even be interested in you? He’s never shown any sort of romantic interest in you or from what you’ve seen, in anyone else. Your mind is plagued by scenarios that leave you with a feeling of sadness, dread, and embarrassment - thoughts of him finding out about your feelings and completely rejecting you.

You realized it was best that you keep your feelings a secret and that’s just what you did, but as time went on it became increasingly difficult. You were utterly infatuated with him and you thought about him all of the time. You didn’t stop spending time with him, no, rather you wanted to spend more time with him. The majority of the time that neither of you were in trials was spent together. You didn’t care if it was just you two alone or with others - as long as you were around Philip it was fine.

Not only was it his personality that you found yourself attracted to, but him physically as well. Even though some of the time you two spent together was because he was hunting you in a trial, you still felt safe around him. He always reciprocated any physical affection you gave - whether it was hugging or even hand holding and you could always feel your heart flutter with every small touch from him.

As things progressed, you could tell you were beginning to feel possessive over him in a sense. While you never acted on it, you couldn’t help but dread the thought of him spending much time with others as you feared he’d start to feel towards them how you do him. Your heart felt heavy whenever you saw him with someone else, and you noticed he was beginning to spend a lot more time with others, which while you figured was good for him… you couldn’t help but feel terribly. You felt inadequate, almost.

You hated these feelings of inadequacy - you knew Philip was friendly with everyone, not just you. And that’s okay… it’s fine. You want him to have friendships. You know he likes having friends, and you want him to be happy. But as things move on and you see him grow closer with some of the other survivors you can’t help but feel desperate. Your feelings haven’t wavered one bit, you were still incredibly besotted with him, wanting nothing more than to be with him.

You couldn’t help yourself and began asking around, subtle questions here and there, to other survivors and even a few of the killers who’d wander over - if they’ve seen any relationships develop while there, if they’re aware of any party’s feelings towards another, and the like. Most answers you got were unsure, “Ah - I’m not aware of anything. Sorry!”, or “I don’t really care much, I don’t pay much attention to that stuff.”, and left you feeling frustrated. Kate did mention that while she doesn’t know for sure, she just had a feeling that Philip was interested in someone. Your heart thumped in your chest but you kept your composure and asked if she had any idea who, to which she just shrugged and added that it wasn’t her business but it sure seemed sweet.

You hatched a plan and decided the one way to find out his feelings was to just ask him - but you had to be subtle about it and play it off as if your curiosity had just gotten the best of you. You’d taken one of the several offering pieces he had given you and fed it to the fire and eventually found yourself side by side with him, just as you both liked. The conversation topics varied from just how you’ve been lately to if anything new in the repetitive world has happened, and you eventually managed to steer the topic back to past relationships and partners.

You meant to wait for better timing, but in the middle of a sentence Philip was speaking you blurt out the question - if he was interested in anyone now. The look he gave you struck something in you; at first he seemed caught off guard, but it changed into a look of confusion and god, you hope that wasn’t a look of discomfort. A sigh, one of which was barely audible, came from him and his gaze moved from your face to the ground in front of him and he remained silent.

You felt a million different emotions; sadness, heartbreak, embarrassment, regret, fear… It really felt like your heart was hurting. He didn’t reject you, you didn’t know if he even knew about your feelings - but his lack of words and the look he gave you could only suggest that your feelings were unrequited.

All of your thoughts and emotions were halted when you felt a warm, albeit rough, hand placed over your own. Phil still wasn’t looking at you, his eyes fixed on the ground below, but the way he tentatively placed his much larger hand over your own filled you with… confusion? Hope? Maybe he felt the same way, or maybe he was trying to think of a way to let you down without upsetting you.

“Philip? Are you alright?” You asked, turning fully towards him, trying to get a better look at his face. He gave no verbal response, his only acknowledgement of your question was the gentle squeeze he gave your hand is it rested under his.

#i left the ending vague and abrupt on purpose #i want the reader to be able to interpret it how they want #dbd x reader #dbd headcanons #the wraith

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amaranthine-inscriptions · 6 years ago

Text

11/11/11 Tag Game

I was tagged by @thewordreaper, @aslanwrites, @graceomeallain, and @elizabethsyson to do this! All questions and answers will be beneath the cut! Sorry for taking so long! <3

Tagging: @metaphors-and-melodrama, @mvcreates, @isanyonetoknow, @whywritewhenyoucansleep, @kaatiba, @rainy-rose, @radley-writes, @nectareouswrites, and anyone else who would like to join! :D

My Questions:

1. Explain the title of your WIP.

2. Based on the title of your WIP, what category or genre do you think it fits into?

3. Which character did you like most?

4. Which character did you like least?

5. Summarize your WIP in one written sentence or a one minute speech.

6. Is your WIP a one-shot or do you have sequels/prequels planned?

7. Which character do you relate to the most?

8. Which character is least like you?

9. Are there any lessons/morals in your WIP?

10. Besides your main WIP, how many other ideas do you have floating around? Tell me about them!

11. Where do you find your inspiration?

@thewordreaper‘s questions!

1. What colours do you associate with your WIP? The Vennadore Volumes (Already Introduced and In Progress) - Blues, Greens, and Purples in general. Just depends on what volume we are speaking about. Blues and greens for the first volume for sure because of the the whole pirate thing. :) The Aeonian Chronicles (coming soon) - Black, White, and Gold. It captures the aesthetic of the gods I have in my head and they play a huge part in this upcoming series. Untitled Series Name (Coming Soon) - Soft Pink and Navy Blue. This is solely based on another dream I had. Just like the one above except WAY different.

2. Summarise the beginning of your WIP in three to five words I’ll be answering this for the WIP that I’ve actually started writing for lmao: Farmer’s daughter living provincial life.

3. What character do you like writing about the most ? Adelaide... OR Octavia. I haven’t gotten the hang of writing Eponia or any of her companions just yet. I’ve had Adelaide and Octavia for a WHILE which is why it’s easier and why I enjoy them a lot more.

4. Did your plot ever make any major deviations from what you originally planned ? Well... I did have a completely different idea for where I wanted to go with Eponia’s story, but she decided she didn’t like that and took a life of her own and ran in a completely different direction, which is why I’m re-plotting her story. (Thank god I haven’t written too many scenes that would pertain to the previous plot idea)

5. Do you listen to music while writing? If you do, what kind? I DO. I listen to anything honestly. Right now I’m listening to my playlist titled “Got the runs?” and it’s full of energetic music that would help with cardio. And it hypes me up to write more. ^__^

6. Favourite animals of your main characters ! .... I don’t have any pets or animals planned out D: They’ll probably will be written in but I’m just so focused on making sure that the characters get to where I want them. And then maybe fluff it up a bit and include some animal companions or familiars.

7. What was the inspiration behind your current WIP? For the Vennadore Volumes, I did HELLA world building because it was originally for text-based roleplay for friends and other members of a dying community. And one of my friends said that I should make it into a series and include the storylines that happen within this world that I created. That’s when I was inspired to start on this WIP. And start with a story that hasn’t been RPed out yet. And then start with separate stories that all tie in together somehow.

8. Which author would you compare your writing style to? Uhhhhhh.... I’m not exactly sure and I’m afraid to answer this question cos I’m not sure what my style is like compared to a published author. 👀👀👀 Cos I am but a worm.

9. Is there a new form of writing that you plan on attempting in the future? I’m not sure if there are new forms??? If there are, please tell me cos I really enjoy learning new things <3

10. What instruments do your main characters play/ play want to play ? If singing counts, then Finnick can sing and his voice is like an angel’s and might be the reason why Eponia likes him A LOT. (And cos he’s unusually attractive for a pirate lol) 11. Are there any of your characters you would love to meet IRL? ISOLAH. I love my gay baby and happy that she’s got such a supportive wife. <3 The other’s could probably get fucked lol (I love them all but I just love the captain of the Temptress)

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@aslanwrites‘s questions!

1. What are some influences for your WIP? For world building: definitely Tolkien and GRRM. Kinda a mash of the two with my own twist to it all. Which is why Vennadore is so massive. But for writing, I’m not sure. 2. Is there a writer or someone you would like to collab with? Or maybe even do a crossover with? Not off the top of my head, no. But I’m pretty solitary when it comes to writing. And I’m terrified of sharing my ideas with another person if I do have to collab with them.

But I really do enjoy Libba Bray since I’ve read her Gemma Doyle trilogy at least five times, so I wouldn’t mind collabing with her. 3. What are some facts about the world you’ve created that you’d like to share but can’t seem to quite fit into the story yet? Lore stories about the races of Vennadore. Mostly because I haven’t gotten there yet. I don’t know if there aren’t any facts I haven’t shared on my world page.

4. What are you most excited about sharing with your WIP? Anything Adelaide related. She’s my baby and I can’t wait to write more on her story.

5. What are your OCs favorite genres of music? Eponia: Either something soft with a soprano voice or an energetic dance instrumental Finnick and Isolah: Sea Shanties Solandis: Anything with piano or harpsichord Alarik: Unsure. He’s very difficult to place. But if it were modern: metal for sure. He’s a very angry person. 6. How good is your main character at cooking? Not very well since she refused to pay attention to any lessons in becoming a better lady that her step-mother forced her to go through. 7. What kind of comics would your OCs like? Cos I don’t know much about comics, I wouldn’t know what they would like.

8. What inspired you to write your WIP? “For the Vennadore Volumes, I did HELLA world building because it was originally for text-based roleplay for friends and other members of a dying community. And one of my friends said that I should make it into a series and include the storylines that happen within this world that I created. That’s when I was inspired to start on this WIP. And start with a story that hasn’t been RPed out yet. And then start with separate stories that all tie in together somehow. ” Same answer from a previous question, but I love it any way c: 9. What other stories do you have in mind? OH BOY. I have a lot of ideas.. This is what I have listed in my notepad so far:

Hide and Seek (Supernatural) Characters: Jensen Hyde and Amelia Siek (OTP)

Supernova (Sci-Fi? Fantasy?) Characters: Caelestis

The Above (Post-apocalyptic) Characters: suspicious gays

Aeonian Chronicles (fantasy; it's about time) Characters: A golden goddess and her high priestess (otp)

Allure at Eventide, Beneath a Starless Sky, Below the Sun, Dreams, Painted Skies, and [character name] (fantasy) Characters: English lovers that started off as friends then enemies then to lovers. Man conveys his feelings all wrong and thinks the woman knows what he means.

10. Oh no! Your main character has been kidnapped! Who goes to find them? Who says “let it be”? Who forms a search party? And what does your main character do in this event? Finnick would go find Eponia cos REASONS. Alarik says “let it be”. Isolah and Solandis would probs get the crew together and form a search party while Solandis informs Ep’s family that she has been kidnapped but they are going to find her. Eponia is like “Uggggh, not again.” and makes plans to escape and go back to her original “captors” or her family back home if given the chance.

11. What is your favorite kind of ice cream? MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP.

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@graceomeallain‘s questions!

1. What’s the age gap between your oldest and youngest OC? If you count the upcoming addition to the Alilart family (Emric and Lysandra’s baby c:), 0 years to 60s (I haven’t decided because they’re a minor character. Like hella minor.)

2. If your MC was dropped in a high school setting, which clique would they fit in with? Eponia wouldn’t fit in anywhere, so she would be considered the outsider. So the outsider clique. Or the new-kid club. But she tries to be nice to everyone, despite her attitude problem.

3. Which of your OCs is the funniest? Mmmmm... No one has told a joke yet and none of them are keen to tell me. So I’m going to say Alarik because he’s pretty crude. So I would imagine his jokes would just as bad, but somehow funny???

4. Who’s an early riser, and who sleeps in? The early riser would be Isolah. She is the captain of course. Eponia however despises waking up, she loves sleep too much.

5. Which draft of your WIP are you on? Planning/First Draft :)

6. How many main characters do you have in your WIP? Depends on which volume but the first one has six. c:

7. Which of your OCs is the best looking? FINNICK. Hot damn.

8. What do your OCs do at Christmas? If nothing, why not? They share stories of their lives before becoming pirates, maybe make little gifts out of things they find laying around the ship.

9. Do your OCs have any piercings? Not that I know of, but I am their mother and I’m sure they’re scared of telling me that they went and got a piercing at their best friend’s house. (So maybe lol)

10. What are their favourite foods and why? I honestly haven’t thought about their favourite foods D:

11. If your WIP has any couples, which is your favourite? It’s between Finnick and Eponia (an eventual couple), and Isolah and Solandis <3

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@elizabethsyson‘s questions! Round 1!

1. what’s a trope you hate? I feel like I don’t know enough about tropes to know which one I would hate.

2. what’s a trope you love? I feel like I don’t know enough about tropes to know which one I would love.

3. what’s your main character’s aesthetic? Eponia’s is hard to place. I would think her colour would be between light purple and a dark pink. Lots of books. Sleeping in. And that’s what I have so far.

4. describe your wip using only verbs Oh dayum. This is hard.... Fighting, Loving, Escaping, Conspiring, Worshiping and maybe some other verbs as the volumes grow.

5. how significantly does time feature in your plot? There’s a whole different time system for Vennadore that somewhat resembles our own, and also has it’s own history that could repeat itself. And to show how time progresses, it is shown and explained (hopefully well by me lmao).

6. how many settings does your wip have? So far in the first volume, three. Home, Markets, Ship. And since Vennadore is massive, there is LOADS more to come.

7. do your characters travel during the plot? Yes, most of them are on a ship. What are they doing on the ship.... That I cannot tell.

8. which of your characters is most likely to die young? ... How young? Cos I could say Alarik or Isolah; they’re in their 20s and 30s respectively.

9. which of your characters trust vs. mistrust authority? Alarik? Since he is a criminal. And is now a slave under the captain and crew of the Temptress.

10. what’s one theme of your wip? The first volume covers the MC discovering herself while in this strange, new place.

11. would your story be better portrayed in animation or live action? Live action.

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@elizabethsyson‘s questions! Round 2!

1. what’s a story you read as a child that sticks with you? The fourth harry potter book. That was my favourite growing up. :)

2. what’s your approach to diversity in your writing? I kinda just.... put it in there. I don’t know how else to put it lol

3. what’s your favourite online resource for writers? Since I’m obsessed with having a great name, the fantasy name generator site is amazing. <3

4. what programme do you write in? A journal ^^; But if I type it up, I use google docs cos word slows my computer down wayyyy too much.

5. how do you backup your writing? I normally write in journals, but if I type it up in google docs, I normally would store it in my portable hard drive :)

6. do you print your stuff once you’ve finished it? Not right now since I share a house with other people (besides my partner) who need to print things off and printer paper isn’t exactly the cheapest thing in the world right now.

7. do you post entire wips, chapters, just snippets, or nothing? Maybe a line or two since I’m on my first draft and everything is kinda a mush of clay.

8. tag some writers whose wips you follow on tumblr and tell me why you follow them :c I feel bad cos I don’t really follow any specific WIPs. I do try to share others’ work to make sure my followers get to see that person’s hard work. I just feel too spazztic and out of focus to find WIPs. I just want to share others’ work ^^;

9. favourite medium for sharing your stuff? Word of mouth? I don’t really have any thing to share my work on like wattpad or ao3 and I’m not sure which would be best since Venn could contain some adult themes and I want to make sure that it wouldn’t be removed because it violated rules.

10. do you create art of any kind? talk about it a little I’m terrible at art, but I do have a sketch pad because I enjoy doodling a little. I just don’t do it too often because I feel like I can’t compare to the amazing artists out there.

11. what’s your favourite non-writing/reading/story-related hobby? Singing or practicing an instrument (I have a clarinet, keyboard, guitar, and ukulele)

†††

@elizabethsyson‘s questions! Round 3!

1. What’s the first book you remember reading? Do you know about the Mary-Kate and Ashley mystery books???? I remember those. And Goosebumps. Hell yeah.

2. Have you ever invented a language for a piece of writing? YES. It’s the Untouchable Language or the mother-tongue of the Rah’al people. I only have some specific words but that’s it so far.

3. Describe your approach to worldbuilding. When I was building Vennadore, I looked up questions to answer when building a fantasy world, that got me started. General stuff like population and different sections of the world. Then delved into specifics like races and their customs.

4. Do you write in multiple genres? Which? Fantasy, Fiction, and maybe Sci-fi.

5. What type of villain do you most hate? A villain that gives you no reason to hate them. I feel like there needs to be a reason to hate them. Like how I hate Joffrey in GoT (cos he’s a punk).

6. Do you prefer to type or write longhand or something else? I prefer to write longhand, otherwise I wouldn’t know what I was trying to say when I revisit my journal.

7. How do you motivate yourself? I put on some hype music and do a little dance while I write. It helps since I spend a lot of time just sitting there thinking.

8. Opinion on nanowrimo? I’ve never tried, and I’m honestly terrified cos I feel like I wouldn’t make the goal I would set for myself. But I’m happy that it works well for other writers.

9. Top 3 songs on your writing playlist? I don’t really have a writing playlist, just whichever playlist I decide to write to whether it’s “Mood,” “Got the Runs,” or “Chill.”

10. How do you come up with your characters’ appearances? I search for face claims eternally on pinterest until something screams at me that has that character’s vibe.

11. Do you write your scenes chronologically? Never. My thoughts are way too scattered to make them do the chronological thing.

#tag game #11/11/11 tag game

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deansleather · 8 years ago

Text

Come Home

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Prompt(s): “Don’t listen to them. Don’t you EVER listen to them” for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing hiatus challenge week 9, “You, me, and Sam. We’re just better together” for @spnhiatuscreations week 9, and “Post Break Up Kiss - The kiss that catches both of you off guard, but says I miss you, I’m sorry and please love me again all at once without any words being spoken” for my XOXO prompt series

Summary: After the trauma from some time spent in Hell, you hide within yourself, running from your only family: Dean, Sam, and Cas. As you slowly return, you see just how much you love the boys, and just how much they need you back.

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

Word Count: 2515

Warnings: angst, later on fluff, intrusive thoughts, trauma/PTSD from experience in Hell (literally)

A/N: I’m quite proud of the prose in this one, hope you enjoy it like I do! As always, FEEDBACK IS LOVED AND NEEDED!

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“Trauma is personal. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.” ― Danielle Bernock, Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals

The snow fell to the ground in thick tufts, you barreling through it as fiercely as possible. You hated looking so haggard, but you could hardly help it; your back was hunched, your face tear stained, the cold weather not the only thing chilling you as you shivered. It felt as though your organs were frozen solid, particularly the one who decided to be sensitive so often, who wouldn’t just piece itself together already after being shattered. Frozen was better than heartbroken, though, the numbness a gift after the months of constant throbbing.

Why were you in Kansas, and why anywhere near the bunker? You knew, and yet at the same time didn’t. Simply put, you missed your family. After joining the hunting life, Sam, Dean, and Cas were your only family, blood or not. You missed those late-night conversations with Sam, hunched over piles and piles of books you were both overwhelmed by, though neither of you would admit it. He’d tell you about his goals before hunting, his favorite hobbies when he managed to scrounge up some free time, the best book he ever read besides lore. It was nice, just you and Sam mulling over cups of coffee and ancient texts, finding a way to have normal conversation amidst the abnormality.

Then, of course, there was Cas. Intelligent yet naïve, strong yet soft, caring yet unstoppable. He inspired you. He comforted you. He never let you suffer, at least not when he knew you were. Cas was a damn good friend and supported you in times where you could hardly stand yourself enough to save you. Most of all though, there was Dean.

Chills ran up and down your body as you thought the name, the first time you managed to do so without breaking down in months. The gravel road beneath your feet made your heart race, knowing you would soon be reaching the man with that name all too soon.

Your moments with Dean were innumerable, some more difficult to describe their significance than others. The way he’d say I love you in public, something he’d never done with anyone. How he’d kiss your forehead, tender and slow, and in those moments, you’d feel more healed than when Cas used his angel powers. Those many nights lying in bed, naked and exhausted, beside each other in silence as you just looked into each other’s eyes, no words needed. God dammit. The pain in your chest was coming back, so you quickly pushed away those thoughts. If you went much deeper, you were afraid you’d run straight into his arms again, just for the chance to nuzzle your face in his neck and feel his strong arms wrapping you close to him once more.

You had been trailing them for days, making sure they’d be staying near the bunker for a little bit. You just needed to see them, know that they were alright, that they hadn’t died with no one telling you. Planning to leave immediately after seeing them, your plans were almost instantly foiled. Watching them did more than soothe your paranoia, it comforted you in ways you hated to admit. Without them, you were all alone, and that scared the hell out of you.

You thought about giving in to the sensation, wanting so badly to regroup and fall back into your strangely comfortable routine with them, but the voices would just pipe right back up. Yelling, insisting, scratching at the inside of your head, they only went away when you were distanced from the boys. Dean somehow managed to leave Hell generally unscathed, and physically you did too, but the taunts from so much pain in the pit stuck in your mind. You were trapped there for much longer than Dean ever was, some rogue demon forming a vendetta against you and the boys, latching onto whoever he could and dragging them to Hell with him. Obviously, you were eventually rescued, but not for many months, the equivalent to nearly a decade in the fiery place.

The gravel became denser beneath you, making your breathing hitch. Looking up from your feet, you finally saw it; the bunker’s entrance, right there, a welcome and foreboding sight. The closer you got, the louder the thoughts shouted in your mind. Stay away. You only drag them down. You’ll be the one with blood on your hands if they die.

You moved into the trees as your hands clasped at your head, worried someone might exit the bunker and find you in your traumatized state. You were one hell of a hunter before all this had happened, and even when you remembered all the times you saved their asses, the taunts from so many demons remained in your mind. How could you risk it? How selfish would it be to “test the waters” and end up getting the only people in the world you loved killed?

You finally managed to calm your breathing as you vehemently decided to not attempt an entrance. There would be no reunion, they would never know you were there. Even so, you wished they would come out of the bunker, just for a moment. Seeing your old home was nice and all, but it was them that really warmed you. It was as though someone had heard your wish, as ironically enough they all came out, Sam, Dean, and Cas. Though not in the way you had expected.

Sam and Dean had their guns raised, looking around at the surrounding forest. You nestled deeper into your hiding spot. Cas observed the leafless trees, analyzing his surroundings with squinty eyes, and you almost smiled at the sight. God, you missed them so much. Guns blazing and all, it was nice to see them. Of course, you quickly got to thinking about their paranoia, and your heart thudded as you checked the forest around you. What were they looking for? Cas searched around, closing his eyes before pointing the boys towards a particularly thick grouping of trees, right where you stood. You swallowed.

“Alright, you son of a bitch,” Dean yelled out, grimacing. “Come on out.”

You remained still.

“You’ve been tailing us non-stop these last few days; don’t you want to say hello?” he jeered. You took a few deep breaths, contemplating your next move. There was no running, especially not with Cas there. They’d eventually come searching into the greenery, and you really hated the idea of forest hide and seek. With an extremely defeated sigh, you stepped out into the clearing. They all froze, staring at you with a mixture of shock and relief.

“Y/n,” Sam sighed, the smile evidence of his joy. Slowly, he walked up to you, wrapping his arms around you gently, watching your every reaction to make sure you were comfortable. “We’ve missed you so much.” Tentatively, you returned the hug, grateful that Sam was so amicable.

“I’ve missed you guys,” you expressed, pulling away after a moment. “More than you’ll ever know. But I need to go.” Sam grabbed onto your wrist, holding onto you as you began to walk away. You glared at him.

“Why have you been following us? Did you walk here?” he insisted, Cas and Dean remaining willfully silent. You dared a peek back at them, your stomach flipping. Cas was just an innocent onlooker, but Dean stood stoically, his chin jutted out and his teeth grinding. You quickly looked back to Sam.

“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t get yourself killed,” you explained, tugging your wrist away. “But I seriously need to go now, Sam. Good to see you.”

“Y/n,” Dean’s firm voice called out, making your heart jump. Reluctantly, you met his gaze, Sam stepping out of the way as Dean approached. He looked you directly in the eyes, pointing a finger at you, emphasizing every word. “After all we’ve been through, we deserve an explanation. Especially me.” The edge in his voice made you flinch, looking to Sam and Cas in vain for help. Sam swallowed, walking to Cas and patting his shoulder.

“C’mon Cas,” Sam murmured. “Let’s give them a minute.” Cas nodded, calling to you before following Sam into the bunker.

“No matter what happens out here, I really hope to see you inside.”

With that, they were gone, slipping inside the bunker without another word. The time you had dreaded for so long was finally upon you; facing Dean. You closed your eyes, letting the cold air burn your lungs as you took in heavy gulps. It was a welcome distraction.

“Y/n, why?” Dean whispered, his voice cracking even with his low tone. You opened your eyes, feeling as though you were stabbed when you saw the tears in his eyes. He was only ever this vulnerable around you, and you hated that you had to stomp all over it.

“I can’t stay here, anymore Dean,” you replied simply, your voice scratchy from lack of communication. He shook his head, stepping even closer to you.

“We can move, no one says we have to live in the bunker-“

“That’s not it,” you sighed, rubbing your temples.

“Then what is it, Y/n? What is it…did I do something to hurt you?” he asked, his bottom lips quivering. Your face crinkled, seeing him so distraught killing you. His eyes were such a bright green normally, they became almost neon when he cried. His pink lips were nearly red, and his freckles were out and proud despite the lack of sun. You shook your head.

“No, Dean, no, no, no,” you insisted fervently. “I just can’t risk it.”

“Risk what?”

“Being the one that gets any of you killed.” He was completely taken off guard by this, blinking and staring at you strangely.

“Y/n, why would you get us killed?” You just shook your head once more. After a moment, he nodded, a newfound understanding washing over him. “It’s because of Hell, isn’t it? Sweetheart, you weren’t there long enough to become a demon.” He began to place his hands on your shoulders, but you roughly shoved them off.

“But long enough for their voices to stick in my head,” you sneered, hugging yourself as you took a step back. Dean’s expression became sad, nodding as he sympathized.

“I know,” he breathed. “It’s been all this time and I still wake up sometimes and am shocked that I’m not tied up.” You swallowed, looking up at him hesitantly.

“Yeah, well you don’t have them still screaming at you, do you?” You intended to snap at him, but your voice came out much frailer than you’d expected.

“No,” he relented, putting out his arms. “But we would have helped you, Y/n. We’re family; Cas, you, me, and Sam. We’re just better together.”

“I know,” you admitted, stifling a sob. “I don’t want to stay away, Dean. I miss you so much it hurts, but every time I get close, they start yelling at me all over again, and what they say…I won’t let it happen.”

“What do they say?” he pressed softly, taking a gentle step closer. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself so you could say the words without breaking.

“That I’m holding you guys back. That if I keep pretending I’m some strong hunter, I’ll be the reason you all die. That your lives are happier without me, and I’m selfish for taking that away.” You stopped, the words washing over you and almost making you double over. Dean caught you in his arms, keeping you upright as he looked into your eyes.

“Don’t listen to them. Don’t you ever listen to them,” he insisted, his voice stern yet laced with love. “You belong here, with us. None of us have relaxed without you, we’ve trailed you and dug into all your aliases. All we’ve wanted was for you to come back home.” You didn’t even realize you were crying until he wiped a tear away, kissing your forehead in that way you loved, warming you from the inside out. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone. You went through Hell for us, Y/n, the least we can do is help you now that you’re out.”

“Oh, Dean,” you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck. He quickly reciprocated the hug, nuzzling his face into your shoulder as he lifted you off the ground. You did the same, finally smelling the mix of leather, cheap cologne, mint, and beer that you’d missed so much. He was so warm and firm, his arms entirely supporting you as you sank into him.

His hair was longer than usual, overall just more ungroomed than you’d remembered, but he was your Dean. You kissed up and down his neck, tracing his jaw with your lips. You pecked the side of his mouth, looking into his eyes before letting yours flutter shut, your lips colliding in the kiss you had needed for so long. Though no words were spoken, it felt like everything was communicated through that kiss. You were so scared, but you loved him, loved all of them, and wanted to come back home. He was frustrated with you but missed you more than words could express, and just wanted you to stay with him. Somehow, with his lips on yours, the voices silenced, the only moment of true bliss you’d had since returning to Earth. As you pulled away, Dean bent down and grabbed your legs, picking you up bridal style.

“C’mon,” he murmured. “Let’s get you inside.”

~~~

You wore one of Dean’s big trees and some shorts, your hair pulled away from your face as you sat on the couch with Sam, Dean, and Cas. Dean had turned on Game of Thrones and then ensued a lasting debate about characters with Sam. Usually, you’d tell them to stop bickering, but it was a great way to fill in all that you’d missed. You looked at Cas with a smirk, rolling your eyes at them; some things never changed. He smiled back, looking you up and down.

“I’m so glad you decided to stay, Y/n,” he admitted, his voice low. “It hasn’t been the same without you.”

You smiled, giving him a light hug. It had only been a few hours since you’d entered the bunker, but you already felt like a new person. You’d showered, ate, napped, and were now sitting next to your family of misfits, beer in hand as you tried to hear the TV over the brothers’ debating. As chaotic as it seemed, you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Later that night, you crawled in bed beside Dean, just kissing and holding each other. Neither of you could sleep; Dean worried you’d disappear again, you worried the voices might come back once you slept. Eventually, you both did find a way to doze off, warm and safe in each other’s arms. For the first time since you were dragged to Hell, you rested. You knew you had a long while until you were truly well again, but damn did it feel good to start healing.

~~~~~~

Forever + Dean Tags, Michelle’s Dean Tags, Pond’s Dean Tags:

@jarnesbrnes @spnashley @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @waywardlullabies @teamfreewill-imagine @lucifer-in-leather @sunkissedsamantha @chaos-and-the-calm67 @purgatoan @stardustsam @secret-stashes @supernatural-jackles @winvhesters @nerdwholikesword @frenchybell @feelmyroarrrr @obsessedwithmisha @wanderingcas @diestiel @kittenofdoomage @fandommaniacx @trinityjadec @hanny-banannyyy @nothingtoworryaboat @growningupgeek @d-s-winchester @mysteriouslyme81 @jensen-jarpad @deathtonormalcy56 @jpadjackles @mogaruke @satans666thdaughter @bobbysingerismybaby @keepcalmandcarryondean @thinkwritexpress-official @ruprecht0420 @My-Favorite-Fiction67 @deanjensengirlmaggie @bohowitchysoul @liebemeineslebensx @jayankles @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @wildfirewinchester @beachy2014 @muliermalefici @akshi8278 @bakabozza @mrswhozeewhatsis @vintagevalentinexx @thinkwritexpress-official @bowtiesandapplepie @itsemmyb @ezauraemmaline @matteson-crazed @castielspahdehrah @charliesbackbitches @crzcorgi @ellen-reincarnated1967 @gryffindorable713 @deandoesthingstome @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @mrsjohnsmith @manawhaat @growleytria @thegleegeneration @samtomydeanwinchester @SinceriouslyAmellPadalecki @i-never-said-a-pilot @thewinchestielboys @Supermoonpanda @sis-tafics @amaranthinecastiel @fandommaniacx @meganwinchester1999 @kittenofdoomage @samanddeanwinchester67 @prettyxwickedxthings @ferferelli @lilyoflothlorien @myfand0msandm0re @olitzisbae @iridianuniverse @the-morning-star-falls @shortandlongstories @strange-inhumanity-blog @ackleslaugh @noisilyyoungpuppy @fangirling-instead-of-working @aprofoundbondwithdean @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @roxy-davenport @chrisatplay @kayteonline @spnsimpleman @faith-in-dean @kreborn17 @mamaimpala @for-the-love-of-dean @winchesterfiesta @zanthiasplace @salvachesterhale @sleep-silent-angel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @gadreelsforbiddenfruit @trenchcoats-and-bees @curliesallovertheplace @jencharlan @not-so-natural-spn @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @tia58 @sams-little-toy @deansleather @faegal04 @sunriserose1023 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @saving-things-hunting-family @winchesterswoonathon @jotink78 @lucifer-in-leather @i-dont-know-how-to-write @everyday-supernatural-af @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @supernatural-jackles @babypieandwhiskey @avasmommy224 @angelwingsandsupernaturalthings @mysaintsasinner @chelsea-winchester @spn-fan-girl-173 @besslincoln-bruh @wheresthekillswitch @shelovesallthethings @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @revwinchester @klaineaholic @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @supernaturalismalife @pinknerdpanda @quiddy-writes @inmysparetime0 @hexparker @atwistoffate @aprofoundbondwithdean @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @nichelle-my-belle @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @notnaturalanahi @bkwrm523 @salvachesterhale @whispersandwhiskerburn @roxy-davenport @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @samsgoddess @frenchybell @scorpiongirl1 @for-the-love-of-dean @mysupernaturalfics @spn-fan-girl-173 @deandoesthingstome @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @fiveleaf @deansleather @curliesallovertheplace @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @waywardjoy @mrswhozeewhatsis @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious @kayteonline @supernatural-jackles @wevegotworktodo @ilovedean-spn2 @quiddy-writes @babypieandwhiskey @wi-deangirl77 @deantbh @supermoonpanda @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @plaidstiel-wormstache @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @writingbeautifulmen @revwinchester @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @ohwritever @ruined-by-destiel @inmysparetime0 @winchester-writes @deals-with-demons@winchester-writes @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @bennyyh @clueless-gold @deanwinchesterxreader @melbelle45 @winchester-family-business

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sweet-star-storybook · 6 years ago

Text

Hey all, back at it again with the random posts, aha. I have been working on something that will formally address the month long art / comic hiatus I’ve been on, but that’s taking a bit longer than I expected. So as a break (I guess?) I took it upon myself to update what I call my Original Stories Timeline, i.e. a chronological list of all of my story ideas (as of October 2019 anyway). I have not posted this list anywhere, but I like to update it on my laptop every now and again.

There is a bit of ambiguity with some of the years that these were made, as sometimes there’s a difference between coming up with the title or lead character for a story versus actually making it a “thing” with an idea or scenes attached. As an example, Moth to the Flame technically began when I first drew Kiida in April of 2015, but aside from a snippet of reasoning for why she was an archer, the story as it is now did not start to take form until I drew Zander in December of 2017. Other times I flat out can’t remember when some of these stories were made, and digital files don’t always have the correct dates.

For this post (and for curiosity’s sake), I wanted to add up and categorize them to see just how many stories I have in this brain of mine. It was actually quite a fascinating exercise, so I thought I’d share! I might as well list the titles for each category too, even if some of these are only titles at this point. I’ve renamed a few over the years and others are still working titles, but if any pique your interest at all, feel free to send me an ask about them! I love chatting about this stuff. :)

This got quite long once again so I’ll put it under the cut. Enjoy!

Stories that are old and/or need revamping: 6

Titles in this category: Pasha & Marley (2003), Sonora (2004), Billy and the Rainbow Fish (2005), Spirit Fire (2006), The Darkest Light (2013), Polarity (2013).

These are stories that I’ve either had since I was a kid and would need overhauls to make them usable, or are simply dormant stories that I haven’t touched in a while and may need similar upgrades. This doesn’t mean that I will revamp all of them, but either way they serve as an interesting look at my progression as a story writer and character designer. My oldest story dates back to around 2003, and to put that into perspective, I was 8 years old that year.

Stories that are just titles / a smattering of ideas right now: 10

Titles in this category: Fletcher (2016), The Dragons of Kitevale (2016), King Ace (2017), Ochako & Mai (2018), Psychanimate (2018), Mage Lights (2019), Trickster’s Gambit (2019), Switching Gears (2019), The Owlands (2019), Goodnight, Starlie (2019).

I always have too many of these for my own good, but this happens a lot if I have stray character designs that I think could maybe go together, and then before I know it the gears start turning in my head to add something more. I’m also really good at coming up with titles and logos to make me love the idea even more, even if there’s not much else to it. I guess you can blame my affinity for wordplay and clever puns for that, haha. Coming up with titles is really fun, but at this point I don’t know what kinds of stories these will be if I choose to develop them, so I gave them a separate category. Making this timeline reminded me of how many logos I still need to make!

Short films / animatics that I could also make into short comics: 7

Titles in this category: The Aurora’s Child (2016), Blue (2016), Harpy (2017), Hearth & Lantern (2017), Leif & Shel (2018), The Healer (2019), In Your Orbit (2019).

My background in animation has afforded me the skills of writing for animation, specifically short films. I have always loved short films that communicate their story through little or no dialogue, and using the character’s actions and emotions to do the talking instead. Unfortunately my dreams of making a short film during school did not come to fruition, but that doesn’t mean the ideas have to go away, regardless of what form they take. I’ve made too many at this point to stop now anyway! I will likely do both a comic and an animatic for each one I decide to flesh out, as I want to practice both kinds of storytelling and they each have their advantages. Plus I could potentially make a comic anthology of these shorter stories in the future. Much like the animatics, the comics would likely be “silent”, in that they communicate more with action than dialogue.

Things I call “illustration worlds”: 2

Titles in this category: Fruit Bats (2017), Lucky Stars (2019)

This one is a bit strange to explain, honestly. I picture these as more of a series of character interactions rather than a cohesive narrative, i.e. snippets of ideas carried out in a bunch of individual scenes, portrayed via illustrations. I am reminded a lot of the character interactions that exist in concept art for games and movies (the ones from Spyro: Reignited Trilogy come to mind). These illustrations would feature characters that could be in any sort of environment or setting, and we learn more about their personalities through each one, whether it’s a simple domestic scene or a fantasy world. There may not be anything much deeper than that, but there doesn’t have to be. A great deal of energy and expression can still be shown with these, and I love illustrations that have their own little stories contained within them. I could even compile them as a series of themed illustrations, hence why I still gave them titles (and once again, titles are fun).

Novels / story ideas I don’t plan on making into comics: 2

Titles in this category: Shining Trigger (2014), A Mightier Pen (2017)

I’ve always loved writing long-form prose ever since I was a kid, and based on how many words these posts end up having, I can’t say much has changed! As such, I’ve always wanted to write a novel someday, but it does require a different skill set than script writing. With my background in animation and my new love of comics added in, I’ve done a bit of both. I might do novelizations of some of my comics later on, but these stories are, for the most part, better suited as written prose in my mind. They focus more on the characters and dialogue, rather than an imagined visual design. Not to say that novelists can’t paint detailed pictures of a character or world’s attributes, but it is communicated differently via words than pictures, especially when you consider the mind’s eye of a novel reader. That “design” has to be malleable enough for the mind’s eye to interpret, but clear enough so the reader knows what it is. I’d have to make sure that any reader could picture what I’m describing with my writing alone, and that’s a difficult balance to strike for a primarily visual storyteller such as myself, but a challenge worth taking nonetheless.

Large comic stories that have big worlds, a lot of characters, etc.: 3

Titles in this category: Starglass Zodiac (2015), Id Pariah (2015), Feather Knights (2017).

I call these “The Big Three”, as they are the stories that will take the most world building, character creation, and story development to complete. They will have multiple chapters, expansive lore, several character arcs, you name it. I am very excited to tackle all of this development of course, but I want to make sure these are given the time they need to come to fruition. These projects will take me years to complete, which is why I choose to balance them with smaller projects in between. The potential these stories have is not something I want to squander, so even if the production moves slower, I feel it’ll be worth it in the end.

Smaller comic stories with fewer characters, simpler concepts, etc.: 5

Titles in this category: Moth to the Flame (2015), The Onomancer (2015), Demon Exchange (2018), Take Wing! Emilia’s Tale (2018), Ashes (2018).

This is worded kind of strangely, but this category is meant for stories that have a smaller “scope” than the larger comic stories I mentioned. That doesn’t mean I love them any less or that they’ll be less developed, but they are far simpler in concept and rely less on the development of a massive world and lore and more on individual character experiences. I feel like any creator needs these smaller projects to tackle every so often, especially when tackling the behemoths gets tough. These stories will also have a faster turnover when it comes to completion, and I hope to complete one of these stories in the near future. These will also help me practice writing good foundations for stories, like proper character motivation, pacing, and relationship development that would translate into investment for the reader. There’s a great degree of skill required to do this correctly for any kind of story, but starting smaller in this regard is usually better.

Smaller stories that are supplements or spin-offs of other stories: 3

Titles in this category: Counting Hearts (2019), The Serpent and the Sun (2019), Riders of Eldrigar (2019).

I know it probably seems a bit early to be thinking about stuff like this, but I do like thinking about the extended stories or supplements that I could add to my pre-existing projects, especially with characters or ideas that would best be told separate from the main story, be they backstories or another perspective on something. I also like the idea of stories that could exist in the same worlds, but can function independently of them as well. It’s a lot of fun to see how these could connect with each other, like having your own equivalent to a cinematic universe. This category currently only has smaller supplements to my comic stuff rather than fully fledged sequels, but who knows what might happen later on? I need to make the beginnings of these stories first!

And with that, the grand total is: 38!

-me after reading this total and spending way too much time on this post-

In all seriousness though, while it is a bit daunting to see just how many things my brain keeps tossing at me and how much that number has increased in recent years, it does make me excited for the future, even if I panic about time a lot. It tells me that I always have stories to tell, and new ones could be right around the corner. I’ll always have something to work on at least! I might periodically update this post as I edit the timeline as well, but for now, thanks for coming along on this little journey with me! :D I hope it was at least entertaining, haha.

#rambles #projects #stories #titles #random #don't worry I'm not tagging all of the story titles lol #long post #oh boy this took me hours and i don't know why lmao #i rant about my stories too much i guess

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perpetually-jungshook · 8 years ago

Text

How to Care for Your Werewolf

(Without You: Bloodstone lore post)

Word Count: 1.6k

Find the series here (Bloodstone Masterlist)

I still severely dislike the word “lore” because it makes me sound so pretentious haha sorry. Also, I had some fun writing this, so please read it as humorous.

Hello! And welcome to the comprehensive guide to all things werewolf. Here, I, Professor Dr. Totally Know What I’m Talking About will be teaching you everything you need to know about this marvelous species.

First, a disclaimer: While werewolves make for fun, loyal companions, they not for everyone. Recreational ownership often requires secret permits dispensed by your local government and knowledge or training beyond that received by the average person. This guide does not serve as either and should be read as a supplementary text. Side effects of werewolf ownership may include but are not limited to: scratches, light to heavy bruising, loss of limbs, severe anxiety, social estrangement from other humans, and death.

Now, a bit of background.

History:

Werewolves, the lupine gene being passed along hereditarily, have been around for millennia living alongside humans for one reason: to protect us from malicious spirits (see my pamphlet “Demons and You” for more information). As no one knows the exact date the first idiot decided to summon one, the precise origin of the spirits and werewolves are a bit unclear.

All that can be said is as the demons developed, so did the wolves- the earth’s natural immune response. Sadly, wolves have been invisible throughout most of history, appearing only occasionally as dog headed humans in glyphs or mysterious creatures in folklore. Only recently has the epidemic of “evil” spread throughout their image.

Humans were inevitably the cause, commanding wolves that had imprinted upon them (see below for details) to do atrocious things. Physical violence toward humans is practically nonexistent in this lupine species, as it was specifically created to protect us.

However, the command of one person to inflict damage on another (or the tendency to violently protect the imprintee) has been the cause of many fatal incidences, branding the wolves as malicious creatures themselves. Recently, because the presence of demons has been steady- some may argue increasing- the werewolf population has been pulled into hiding by governments for protection and conservation.

Confined in underground bunkers or nameless buildings, the wolves are now captives and are hated by the humans they only seek to protect.

General Werewolf Maintenance:

If it is easier for you, imagine your wolf as a dog- a seven to nine foot tall (2.1-2.7 meters for those of you using the metric system), could crush you instantaneously kind of dog.

Werewolves require all the hygienic care and mental stimulation of the average human. Thankfully, when in human form, these are easy to administer and facilitate as the wolf will be able to consciously, sentiently take care of themselves as long as the tools are provided.

However, they do require vast amounts of training and exercise, anywhere from 3 to 4 hours per day (see below for more information). If this is not met, one can expect depression, anxiety, and misbehavior among other things. So be sure to make time for it in your busy schedule!

The First Two Months (Imprinting & Consciousness):

Most people prefer their werewolves fresh after the first transformation, typically occurring at age 20 for reasons yet unknown. This allows for what we call “imprinting.”

Imprinting is characterized simply as “implicit trust.” The first humanoid thing (be it a wolf or actual human) the werewolf smells will be subject to this completely platonic form of bond. Having this kind of connection with ANOTHER, OLDER WOLF is often optimal for proper behavioral and physical development. This obviously makes keeping up with a demanding exercise routine easier.

However, in recent years a trend has been developing in which owners prefer to have exclusive control and command over wolves’ loyalty, and protection. I only recommend this type of relationship for experienced handlers.

Now, as this is not a biology textbook I will skip extraneous details, but after the first transformation, the wolf may require an extensive resting period. Every bone, muscle, hair follicle, and internal membrane must expand, stretch, or otherwise adapt to accommodate the massive, highly sensitive body of the wolf. This is compensated for by their quick healing, but it only occurs in their lupine form. Keener hearing, smell, or sight may be observed in the human form, but as per usual, almost none of the size, speed, or other physical features will remain. Still, this rapid change in anatomy will manifest in the form of bruises, aches, and additional non lethal injuries, the severity of which will vary between individuals.

It is common for newly transformed werewolves to change spontaneously several times. It is not something they can control, but they should be continuously monitored for the first forty eight hours or so to prevent injuring themselves or damaging property.

As this is no doubt exhausting for the wolf, expect a period of 12-24 hours of continuous deep sleep. During this entire (approximately) 72 hour period, he or she will usually not eat or drink. This is also normal as their body undergoes these biological changes. Expect some immediate weight loss, but this will be regained within the following week or two. (See my companion book “Dieting Dos and Don’ts for Werewolves” for further feeding and cooking instructions).

The term “feral” must now be addressed. During the first few months, it is imperative to understand that while the wolf will follow the imprintee’s commands, they do not have control and will not have a memory of actions they perform. This is one of the most dangerous, vulnerable periods for a werewolf. They are subject to PURE INSTINCT.

Being feral does increase efficiency, especially in regards to the wolves’ primary function: demon elimination. However, fatal accidents are most common during this time when both werewolf and handler are inexperienced (returning to a feral state once consciousness is achieved is also dangerous, but the trainer will often have better control at that point).

Being feral is characterized by the trademark amber irises. While subject to this condition, the wolf WILL attempt to kill anything IT perceives as a threat to it’s imprintee (true or not). Isolation with the imprintee comes highly recommended until aggression subsides and consciousness during transformation is achieved.

Baby-Proofing (Objects & Situations to Avoid):

After a few weeks, most wolves will have gained relative command of their transformations. They may not achieve true self control until months later, but they will cease to spontaneously change to their lupine form.

A werewolf with full control may transform on command, but (with no exceptions) each is at the mercy of a few catalysts- at least to a degree. High amounts of stress, anxiety, irritation, or anger may break those with even the best composure.

If he or she is part of a pack, the aggravation of one member will release pheromones that strongly urge the transformation of the rest, with or without a tangible threat.

There are also external forces that can contribute to a relatively spontaneous change.

Certain alignments of celestial bodies will cause emotional sensitivity- especially and most commonly the phenomenon that produces the full moon.

Other objects have been known to have an emotional and hormonal impact. The easiest to find are silver, mistletoe, and the bloodstone (see attached list at back of guide for other items).

Silver: this is a material that is particularly DANGEROUS. It is the only thing that can pierce the skin of a wolf post-transformation. It is a common misconception that wounds inflicted by silver will not heal. This is incorrect. The precious metal simply makes it more DIFFICULT. The cut will need to be repaired while in human form, giving way to the slower healing process.

Mistletoe: this type of plant is a repellent. It does not have the same affect as silver. The SMELL of the plant is repulsive to werewolves, but will not deter them completely. Imagine how kimchi smells. It’s like that, but a feeling, more tingly.

Bloodstone: while this stone, scientifically known as Heliotrope, is often said to have “magical” soothing properties such as calming and healing, it has quite the opposite impact for our lupine companions. Not enough research has been done to confirm any one theory, but the most popular one stands as “the emotion altering quality of the stone disrupts energy flow within the werewolf and his or her body will react naturally to the disturbance by transforming.” (Note: It is not known to cause premature transformations, this phenomenon has only ever been observed when the wolf in question is in close proximity to demons)

Intimate-Bonding:

Are you looking to take your relationship with your werewolf a step further? Purchase my, Professor Dr. Totally Know What I’m Talking About’s third contribution to the wolf community, “In the Mood for Love: Werewolves.”

Blood Wolves:

Not much is known about this species as they are fairly rare. As you already know, most wolves transform from hereditary influences, but there IS a way to ARTIFICIALLY create a werewolf. They have not been studied long enough to determine whether they also pass on the gene, but it has been determined that (as packs are formed via centuries of familiarity between bloodlines) these creatures, recently labeled Blood Wolves, are instinctively rejected by other members. Their scents are not recognized and thus they are often left behind, typically creating hostility that eventually culminates into alienation. For humanitarian purposes, I will not report how Blood Wolves are created. I can only suggest showing them as much compassion as possible.

whoops it looks like this copy of the book was a little damaged. The last few pages seem to be missing.

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#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #werewolf bts #without you: bloodstone #bloodstone

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spidersanctuary · 8 years ago

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A disordered venting about RP problems:

My experience RPing with Tumblr RPing is not very extensive - goes back about five years, I think. Before that, I RPd a bit, much earlier, but for the most part the only RPing I've done is on Tumblr (and Skype, but as an extension of Tumblr RPing).

I don't like bouncing around. I tend to stick with a place that looks legit, get attached to the characters (mine and others') and stick it out, even sometimes unreasonably so. I've been in... basically three group RPs. Two of them were larger (let's say, defined as "more than around ten active players at any given time", and the third was smaller and purely reactionary, a-la "we don't like the way things are here so we'll make our own". Though not without problems (and I can't say I didn't have my part in them), it was the most drama-free as a whole. It also looks like the fourth, soon to come, might follow along the same pattern.

Despite my sample size of one, I'm confident in saying small groups have a different dynamic. Especially if they're founded by people who already know each other. Bigger groups are trickier, in many ways, and I was struck by the realisation that the different problems I encountered in both my bigger groups were representative of two ends of a spectrum. Similar things going wrong in opposite ways, so to speak.

One of them was defined by lack of forethought and planning. Indeed the whole RP just kind of happened organically, something more serious growing out of something very silly and casual. While it had its fun sides - and it was wildly fun, at times, for as long as the fun lasted - it's also obvious in retrospect how that could be a huge problem. Different players. No standardised rules or guidelines until way, waaay later in the game (after much drama had already happened). Lots of different people with different RPing backgrounds and personalities and playstyles, none of them fully on the same page. While many of the problems had to do with one or two difficult personalities in the group, that's not really the isuse. There is always a risk of... unpleasant people, no RP group is safe from them and no RP guidelines will truly protect you from someone who WANTS to start shit or manipulate things to their benefit and is cunning enough to do that. But even aside from that... the lack of regulation about who could grab what characters and how many (some players ending up with 20+ blogs), or any kind of spoken agreement about activity guidelines and replying etiquette. Lack of agreement about how "canon" certain plots were, in the RPing continuity. Lack of agreement about the continuity, period. A clash between people who wanted to develop a certain pre-planned (and rather exclusive) storyline and those who were more in it for spontaneity. It was a recipe for disaster. It didn't need to get as bad as it did, but starting off like that, it was bound to get unpleasant eventually anyway.

Now, the other group... oh, the other group. After the colourful experience of the first group, the things it offered seemed like a reassuring breath of fresh air. Planning! An almost DnD-esque level of detail to the established universe, rulebook, bestiary and lore! Basically an entire little sandbox lovingly crafted for you to play in. Transparent activity guidelines and rules! An actual mod team working to be approachable while still holding authority! New plots for everyone to participate in to be released basically by the clock, so nobody would feel left out! So lovely! Unfortunately, things are rarely as sunny as they appear. A certain type of literate, application RPs is infamous for their snobbishness and elitism, and despite the initially welcoming tone, that was exactly what this unravelled to be. On the flip side, many of the appeals of the group amounted to little more than elaborate publicity acts. Always, always must the group remain attractive and desirable to newcomers (perhaps unsurprisingly given the apparently abysmal player retention rates, both short and long-term). The tone turned out very different from what was advertised, the sandbox-like universe revealing itself to be more of a literal sandbox, with complex topics turned into gimmicks, and supernatural characters (prosecuted and feared for their in-humanity) easily and casually sharing information about their powers with near-strangers like kids on a playground comparing their toys. The "plots" thrown one's way are not only usually poorly (if at all) developed but intrusive, so that they are impossible to avoid completely even if one is not interested in them. Worse yet, the RP insists on doling out serious consequences and high-stakes crises like death, destruction, invasions of murderous monsters or malignant town-wide spells, but is curiously reluctant to allow any room for serious RPing or sense of consequences.

In fact, it's impossible to talk about consequences when even a sense of any basic continuity is thrown out the window, precluded by the occasional hiatus and re-launch and the various measures taken to make sure that new players enter onto a relatively blank slate. Yes, even if long-time residents of the area and the populace in general SHOULD remember and be affected by that politically motivated massacre half a year back, or that time monstrous vegetables SLAUGHTERED half a school of elementary schoolchildren. Thus, even though the RP is long-running (turning two years old soon), it is impossible for the setting to develop any sense of history, and instead it seems to turn more and more comically nonsensical the more tragedies befall the town and are promptly forgotten a few weeks later. Rather than a serious and in-depth setting, one begins to feel instead as if all the characters are living in a Lotus Eater-like state of vague oblivion, briefly reacting to various events but never quite letting them reach collective memory.

Now, all this might be bearable (and even fun! There's an appeal in a certain kind of wacky no-strings-attached horror-comedy-gore, no denying that), IF a couple things weren't true. a) If the RP (and specifically the mod team) didn't make such a huge deal about what a serious and respectable and serious RP it is. No OCs allowed. "We allow shipping but we don't put an emphasis on it! Please don't think this is one of those silly ship-obsessed RPs". No more than two characters allowed. Replies MUST happen every x days, and even though replies of various kinds are accepted (all prose, just different formats and individual reply lengths), only CERTAIN kinds count towards the activity requirement (???!), and a long-term failure to keep it up will end up in you getting the boot. Even if you ARE active and involved with other people and interact a lot. (Don't even get me started on that. I and about three or four other people, most of whom LEFT shortly after, ended up having our plots disrupted SIGNIFICANTLY because the mods booted - or in this case harangued into throwing in the towel and leaving in a huff - a player who was active with all of us, but wasn't active enough in "the RIGHT way" i.e. the right format. This was part of a bigger package of them caring more about keeping up certain pretenses and ticking off certain boxes to be more outwardly desirable to new applicants than the fun of the users who were already there.) b) The nit-picking. Oh god the nitpicking and micromanagement. Some of the shit I've personally seen, some of it I've heard about. It's one thing to crit a player for not being IC with a mod pre-made character. It's another thing to do that after they've been in play for A YEAR, and if you do that then, you're being blatantly disrespectful of all the development the player's put into them. And it's yet another thing to do that to someone's OC (before the 'no OCs' rule was instated). I've had mods dictate to me that my character shouldn't be reacting to x event like this or that, by listing a bunch of factors that, while possibly convincing, were only ONE possible way to interpret the big picture. For real. Psychology is complicated but for some reason all that goes out the window the moment the mod team decides they know how your character should be played (and I'm not talking about blatant realism or accuracy issues like "that's not how PTSD works" but actual decisions/ways of thinking, things that there should, in theory, be no "wrong" option with because once again, people are complicated).

Which brings me to: C) The omnipresent feeling of entitlement by the mod team aka the Powers That Be, as if they believe that theirs is such a supremely privileged, special and elite group, that they merely DEIGN to let you be a part of it. All of it manifesting in a complete lack of basic courtesy when approaching players. Or rather, any player who's been there longer than a month and who they're not actively trying to be Welcoming(TM) to. I should have seen it pretty early when I had a beef with another player who, to wit, disliked that an RP scene we had depicted her character as a "bad guy" (who was previously ESTABLISHED in canon as a psychopathic murderer!!! and the RP scene basically showed him doing more of the same!!!). She ended up badmouthing me to other players she was interacting with closely, and then they as a group complained about me to the mods, in which she twisted a certain conversation we'd had over Skype into something that reflected very badly on me, along the lines of me forcing her to RP a scene she would be triggered by. Now. This was resolved when I provided the mods with copied Skype messages (direct Skype quotes, a format that, in theory, can't be doctored) that showed she was fabricating that conversation - that she had outright told me she WOULD be okay with doing that scene. She eventually got booted for that (and other stuff). And all would have been well if it weren't for the way I had been initially addressed by the mods, and the condescending, denigrating, making you feel like shit TONE of it. Going from zero, utter peace, to "you have an attitude problem and you need to stop now or we'll kick you out". They also tacked on about half a dozen minor "offenses" I had done, like rambling too much about how the reasons I liked a school subject someone else disliked in the ooc chat, or trying TOO hard to get involved in plots, or other bullshit things that the people involved hadn't even complained to them about. I later realised that this, too, was a Pattern. Whenever they went to you with any sort of grievance, whether from their own side or from another player, they would tack on about half a dozen other "transgressions" you had made, sometimes making them up entirely out of thin air. (Other examples include: Me trying to "enforce a headcanon" by having my character react x way. I then pointed out that the "headcanon" I was allegedly """"enforcing"""" was the information stated on THEIR blog about how characters are large are reacting to a previous major town-wide event. (To wit: the information stated that the Event, a violent and deadly clash between two groups of people, exacerbated tensions between them and led to more mistrust between them. My character, who belongs to ONE group, was being mistrustful of the OTHER group. And somehow, this was not okay. Yes. That's it. That is literally how asinine it got. But then again, it's not surprising - as I explain later, it wasn't baout the offenses making sense. It was about getting to make me feel shitty for something) Or: I was being "inconsiderate" by having my character "out" the supernatural status of another character whose player was no longer in the group, and who they were not in contact with. Said player and I HAD in fact discussed this at the time, and they'd WANTED to have it happen, but the mods didn't know one way OR the other. They simply ASSUMED so they could try to pin it on me!) A long line of instances of them taking "offenses" that they didn't know for sure were offenses, that the player DIRECTLY affected HAD NOT come to them about, to paint a bigger picture of you being some kind of Problem Child who was daring to be naughty in THEIR classroom.

Now, I don't know if this was deliberate, but I can see why they did it. It makes you, as the player, feel like crap, puts you on the defensive, makes you question yourself. "Holy crap, were people really bothered by that time I went on a jokingly-serious rant about how awesome botany is when someone said they hated that topic in biology class?" (Hint: No they weren't. They thought NOTHING of it. But the mods saw it and filed it away for when they needed to make you feel like crap.) It puts the mods in a position of power and strengthened their authority. It forces you into a no-win scenario where you either deny the nonsensical accusations, and thus weaken your position and look less credible because it looks like you can't accept responsibility when you're wrong, OR accept the accusations and thereby agree with them that you're the naughty child and bad at following the rules. So it's a shitty, shitty manipulation technique. All of it coming from a place of entitlement and elitism.

I wish I could say I come from all this wiser, but it does feel like entitlement and elitism are the common denominator here. Part of the problem of the first RP was certain people needing to feel like they were superior and hating it when other people got in the way of that. Part of the problem of the second was stuck-up, self-important mods. Ultimately, it comes down to people who enjoy, just a little too much, to feel power and authority over people. To say that "it's THIS way, because I say it is" and have that listened to without question. Who enforce the rules not because it benefits the community, but because it makes them look good. Who view discussion, in and of itself, as disobedience, as an attack on their authority, an attack on them. I can't say I know for sure how to recognise the warning signs of a group like that BEFORE applying. But maybe big RP groups just aren't worth it, period.

#rp #roleplaying #rp problems #tumblr rp #honestly this is just for the purposes of catharsis #and man did it feel good to get ita ll out #certain past fandom rp #~~~certain original setting supernatural rp~~~~

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hum-my-name · 7 years ago

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R,S,T,V,W

Thank you for asking! (Sorry this got a bit long, I can never shut up, haha)

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.Like things I’m curious about? Umm... hmm.... well, this is by no means an exhaustive list then, haha. Here:1. Psychology. Specifically things like “is there a deep psychological backing for this thought/habit/personality trait of mine or is it just what it is?” I love to know the reason behind things like that.2. Writing. Anytime I go to a bookstore or library, I have to pick up a book about writing. I want to know all the literary devices and big words!!3. The Human Body. My sister’s studying to be in the medical field so I love to ask her things like that. I last spent a good bit of time asking about everything that makes up blood and what it does (and I’m also the jerk who asks silly rhetorical questions like “well, would you rather lose your platelets or lymphocytes” just to see her reaction). It’s crazy because she’s younger than me but I can still learn a lot from her since it’s a field I’ve never touched (don’t tell her I said that, haha)4. Languages. I must know all the languages. I’m, like, hyperfocused on it, haha, but I always underestimate how long it will take. I’ve been trying to learn Russian for at least two years now and I only know the most basic conversational phrases.5. Word Etymology. Where did certain suffixes come from? If you break down certain words, what do the smaller parts mean? How do culture and history play into this? (fun fact, I thought I was going to learn all this when I signed up for a phonology and morphology class last year. Suffice to say, I did not. And phonology and morphology are far more difficult than they have any right to be)6. Parallel universes and other dimensions. Theories and possibilities and the science behind that.7. Space. Stars. Planets and other celestial beings. Maybe even aliens.8. This might sound elitist or pretentious or just bad in general but I am really curious about what it’s like to live a “lavish” lifestyle. Like, I don’t even need to live it but I’m curious about how detached it would feel to be the person with mansions and fancy cars and security and the like.9. Elocution and the proper way to say things. 10. Fairytales and their origins and (to be a bit fanciful) their possibilities. What’s the lore between mermaids and fairies and magic? I’d love to know.

S - 2 habits.Want a weird one? Haha, ever since I was young, I always deemed a certain number for the day to help me make my decisions and I still do that. Like, if I have to make a choice and I decided that morning to go with 4, then I’d go with the fourth choice. Or, when playing music, I’ll press the shuffle button four times. It’s not so much for luck as it is that it just feels wrong not to. And, for a less strange habit, I bounce my leg all the time. Enough that I get in trouble for it, haha

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.Oh. Um. That’s kind of hard to say because unconditional is all well and good but then you never know if there’s something that will come up later completely out of the blue to change your opinion on someone. But, for now, here are things and people I love unconditionally.1. My family2. My friends (which isn’t the healthiest? I’ve gotten into some bad friendships by letting people do whatever they want and treat me however they want but also... I’m half in love with my friends no matter what so I’m too blind to ever notice anyway)3. Writing. I have always loved it and I imagine I always will4. Branson, my family’s go-to vacation spot. It’s a lovely place with the fondest memories and I feel warm just thinking about it5. My home. It’s just... It’s home.

V - 3 big dreams.1. TO WRITE AND PUBLISH A BOOK I’M PROUD OF ONE DAY. PLEASE, GOD, PLEASE2. To find and have a complete cliche but amazing perfect best friend. I just want the movie best friend!3. To travel. To study abroad.

W - An idol.Does... Does Patrick Stump count? Because, like, I’ve been told enough times that I idolize him, haha

Thank you so much, again, for asking! :)

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nazih-fares · 8 years ago

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Over the past two years, between a hostile takedown by Vivendi and numerous other industry stories, I saw French publisher and development house Ubisoft continue to take risks and launch new IPs. After the recent Steep (which I said in my review needed a bit more of finishing touch), it is now the turn for For Honor to emerge, in a weird genre between a fighting game and MOBA mechanics, where three mighty Middle-Age warrior tribes fight an eternal war. Weird? Maybe, but it works.

First, let me start by saying that MOBA are not really my thing, and while I had fun with MMOs back in days (mostly World of Warcraft and Guild Wars), DOTA 2 or League of Legends are games that didn’t get the patience – or time for that matter – to fully get into it to a point that I know stats and traits of over 100 different characters. Even with my short phase of playing both DOTA 2 and League of Legends, I had enough to understand the core concept of a MOBA, which is basically supporting a bunch of creeps that are your canon-fodder while you gain experience and be strong enough with your team to take over the enemy base. For Honor in this case is neither a MOBA nor an MMO, and feels more a fighting game that anything else, which was shocking for me as being in my top three most played gaming genre.

The MOBA and fantasy part of the game comes with its lore, arena fight mechanics as well as its character designs and choices (which can be also compared with the Omega Force’s titles). For Honor’s story is grounded by a fictional and eternal fight between Knights, Vikings, and Samurais, even though in real-life history, these “factions” never fought, but they do now because of some sort of world-changing cataclysm. Anyway the story is quite strange, and you discover slowly that there’s a mastermind behind this whole clash between factions, but what’s important to know is that the script of this game is not really what will get it awards. Nevertheless, there’s a “story” mode that tells the tale of three mighty Knight, Viking, and Samurai warriors, that will attempt to explain the mystic scenario of this game, while basically act as a long tutorial of each character class in each faction. Because of the AI enemy not being optimal in this story mode, I would advise to play this campaign with a friend that just grabbed the game as yourself, and play coop trough these 18 missions that need around 10-15 hours to finish depending on the difficulty levels, alongside the chance to find collectibles and other actions that will help you in customizing your gaming experience.

As you advance throughout the story, you’ll gain gold coins based on some criteria, and once you reach the 500 count, you’ll be able to start buying your very own new warrior class on top of the three starting one for each faction. Like the same strategy as Rainbow Six Siege’s operatives unlocking mechanics, Ubisoft Montreal decided to follow the same pattern and give you the chance as a player to unlock new characters the more you play the game (12 in total, 4 per faction). This logic also applies to the season pass owners, which will only get a seven-day head start to unlock the new characters, but if you wallet is heavy, you can also buy yourself the same coins with real-life currency and “speed” things up or unlock cosmetic upgrades to make each character unique in their own way.

In any case, let’s talk about each character class, shall we? First to be introduced in the story mode, are the Knight’s Vanguard, being the most versatile, easier to handle and do not have complex attack combos. However, don’t see them as the beginner class as they can become effective once you learn the depth of their technique, and their Viking counterpart can be tricky to handle with its two-handed ax, followed by the Samurai’s version with a long reach Katana. The second category includes the assassins (fitting for a Ubisoft game), which are weaker in terms of armor, more difficult to handle as they agile dual-handed warriors, except for the Samurai’ Orochi. Finally, the Heavy class of the game are like any tank in RPG: a beast of a warrior in terms of defense, and hit hard at the expense of slow movements. Finally, the hybrids are combinations of these three previously mentioned classes, with my personal one being the Viking’s Valkyrie armed which can harass swiftly like an Assassin, has Disabler abilities of the Samurai Heavy, and a long reach attack thanks to its lance (like the Samurai Vanguard).

With all this to take in consideration, and the depth of each faction’s differences even within each classes, comes the importance of training, and lots of it. The heart of the gameplay resides in a smart and simple to understand guard position (or stance), which is done to control which part of your body you want to attack and defend. So on screen, you’ll see this small chest overlay, with an arrow that is oriented up, left or right which respectively means that you are about to attack/defend your upper body, left or right side. While this seems simple by base, you discover a deeper and richer attack and defend mechanic, with a parry function that needs to be timed at the exact moment, counter attack combos, guardbreaks, and finally the map/arena itself plays a big part in the combat. You see, each arena has its own amount of obstacles, traps and cliffs which can become a viable solution to get rid of enemies, by using these environments to your advantage. There’s a fire in the middle of the field? No problem, harass your opponent until he’s forced to back into the pit and see its health fall dramatically. present in each arena make it a viable solution when it comes to getting rid of an enemy who is unconcerned. When it comes to singleplayer, all these actions are perfectly responsive on the controller, but watch out when you play online, as a strict NAT will make you fall into the same misery of every fighting game: not being able to hit that perfect milliseconds life-saving parry because of lag. Technically speaking it’s worth mentioning that there’s difference between all platforms, with both base consoles running the game at a locked 1080p and 30 frames per second, while the PlayStation 4 Pro can reach 1440p and 30 frames per second, and PC can go as high 4K resolution but locked to roughly 40 fps (in comparison up to 90 fps with 1080p).

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Considering the fact that its main multiplayer mode sets up large battle scenes with dozens of soldiers duking it out, For Honor runs the risk of making your system stutter and lag as it tries to render all the carnage. However, I’m pleased to report that the game manages to pull off its epic stabfests with nary a stutter. Optimization is top-notch here, even with fires raging and explosions popping up. I set the dial to Ultra at 1080 and ran the game’s benchmark tool, which put my fps between 70 and 90. In real combat scenarios, I was able to hit 100 without Vsync, and with Vsync I managed a smooth 60. There were some minor stutters while turning quickly, but other than that the experience was noticeably hitch-free. In terms of controls, I will firmly recommend a controller. The reason for this is that the game’s super-intuitive and fun blocking mechanic is bound to the mouse on PC.

So instead of just flicking the right analog in the direction you wanna block, you flick your wrist to move the mouse. It’s uncomfortable and less precise, and I barely managed a few rounds with it. Stick to controller with this one, people. All in all, the game does a great job on PC and I had no trouble even when I scaled it up to 1440. Great optimization job all around.

Now as mentioned above, each “hero” will have its own advantage depending on the faction, meaning simply that my Knight Vanguard will not play the same as your Samurai version. For example, the Viking Heavy called Warlords is equipped with a heavy shield and Gladius (Ancient Roman primary sword), which allows him to deflect blows easily and counter at close range. The list of combo styles are roughly no more than 8 or 9 variants, but the game is not lacking in depth as mastering each attack timing will require hours of actual AI or real-life opponent before it becomes a reflex.

For Honor as a game is played in confined arenas, which replicate what a medieval battle looks like without turning into an open-world game. This restriction is logical, as it helps makes the environment look stunning, whether it is the European style forest of the Knights to the exotic maps of the Samurai, passing by the snowy peaks of the Vikings. Yet the real prowess of the game lies in its engine and how it handles animations, with a realism that obviously reinforce the sheer power of some attacks, and how visually painful a hit can be. You just wait until you get to do your first assassination, you’ll just want to see more of that, like some sort of medieval Mortal Kombat style Fatalities.

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The game also has a great and effective UI and HUD, which pair visually in a great way with all actions done. For example, when you are in guard mode (a sort of lock-on aiming), the edges of the screen darken to better concentrate your attention on the locked enemy. Or my favorite is something called Revenge mode, which activates when you attack chain combos, or get damaged to near-death, and gives you this short couple of second invulnerable moment, and flashes with bright fire orange colors on screen. All these visual output are clearly Inspired by fighting games and the effect spectacle that follows great combos and super attacks.

But like most things in life, For Honor is not perfect, and has sadly the typical flaws of a newly launched internet-required game. First of all Matchmaking seems to be illogical for me, and getting paired with players of quite different skill levels, which explains the fact that the eSports/Ranked mode of the multiplayer is not launching until late April (in 2 month basically). It could be normal as matchmaking algorithms usually take time to identify a bunch of newly created accounts, but at the same time a technical beta, closed beta and open beta seemed to have not helped prevent server issues. In my case I managed to switch from a Strict to an Open NAT connection, but even that didn’t help with random disconnections from a multiplayer game.

Nevertheless, these launch issues will probably be fixed soon with a patch no doubt (as Ubisoft proved it with constant support on Rainbow Six Siege and The Division), but the biggest issue I believe is how niche this game is. You see, the campaign can be played alone or in coop, which offers several levels of difficulty thus could expand the lifespan of the game, but it’s the multiplayer modes and the number of variety that will truly make the game a long-term investment for players. Sadly due to this rare mix between a fighting game and MOBA style multiplayer modes, the complexity of it might not get the amount of players to truly make this a competitive or eSports hit, but who knows, it could become what Wargaming did with World of Tanks in Europe. In any case, its originality of gameplay features might arise curiosity in players, which will find everything you need of a game that is multiplayer firstly and a traditional singleplayer campaign game second. There’s 9 characters to unlock, a ranking system, “loot boxes” that contain equipment that boost your stats, or just cosmetic changes like a majestic mountain of golden spikes on top of helmet. To top thing off, there’s a sort of constant online Faction War (similar to the Mortal Kombat X system), which has you fight for one specific Faction, and all your feats during your multiplayer game will contribute War Assets to that banner. What this affects is the what territory each faction occupies on the For Honor world, which dictates which map you’ll be playing on as a defender in multiplayer, and which one when you’ll be the attacker.

One last thing to close this review, which is always a topic dear to me in videogames: the soundtrack. Sadly this is the thing that felt very unoriginal and bland, and even if some tunes are quite majestic, they don’t really ooze power and the fantastic theme that is a war between three iconic warrior factions of our history.

For Honor was reviewed using an Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC downloadable code of the game provided by Ubisoft Middle East. The PC version was tested by Mazen Abdallah on a PC running Windows 10, with an 8GB NVIDIA Geforce GTX 1070 fitted on a 4th Generation Intel i7 4790 3.6Ghz CPU and topped with 16GB of RAM, while the console versions were tested by Nazih Fares and Luciano Rahal. We don’t discuss review scores with publishers or developers prior to the review being published.

Ubisoft’s For Honor is an enjoyable, visually stunning and gritty experience that might be a bit too original for its own good. Over the past two years, between a hostile takedown by Vivendi and numerous other industry stories, I saw French publisher and development house Ubisoft continue to take risks and launch new IPs.

#Action game #Featured #Fighting Game #Hack and slash #Medieval Warfare #MOBA #Ubisoft

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